#bc he was hoping it wouldnt come to that till the end

[carpathians]

also beaver hollow makes me so insane for. real reasons but also for reasons i entirely made up. tbh

[speakofthedebbie]

by popular demand (re: one person) some radioapple fic recs!! (i hope thats what you meant lol most of the fics i read are just radioapple)

Bedtime Rituals to Try out Before the Next Angelic War by @miribalis

just yes. thousand times yes. so basically my boy luci has some sleep troubles and that somehow leads to a qpr with al look its been a while ok just read it

Managerial Liberties by the same fella

these two tags explain it pretty well

something that sticks out to me about this is that charlie is actually (reasonably) cold to adam and like. im actually surprised with how little ive seen that. i mean i dont think id be exactly buddy-buddy with my besties killer either. only 3 chaps as of writing but already looking to be a radioapple classic

im not sure if its meant to be read as such but it kinda feels like a squeal to bedtime rituals in a way (edit: not meant to be read as such, just the same vibe)

devils don't fly (don't expect me not to fall) by @corgiss

also just yes. basically a really not cool joke evolves into a blossoming romance because why wouldnt it. (man if i had a nickel for every radioapple fic that had a masquerade that was sabotaged by the vees- *gets shot bc i cant mention osas yet*)

i’ll hold you close (i’ll stay the course) by the same fella

the entire time i was just going "yas king! put that egotistical flatscreen in his place!!". basically luci reminds the overlords who he is and vox shows he can be more of a threat than he lets on.

ykw fuck it just the entire series (i didnt mention i would give anything to not give a shit (but i do) and my perfect rock bottom (my beautiful trauma) because the first one sounded a lil too angsty and ive gotten enough of that from other sources [pointedly glares at Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love {also coming up later!}] and the second is (mostly) smut and ive been trying to step back from that because "ive seen worse" isnt a valid excuse for that torture actually)

Of Saints and Sinners by the forever amazing @morningstarwrites!! (if you see this i have a serious question: is this your first time ever writing a fic? because how do you get so much right the first time- [not even beginners luck could explain this level of skill])

i could sing its praises until my death bed but ill hold off so i can explain whats happening. basically after burning down a meeting room several times, luci and al make a deal ("not a deal!", luci laments to the void): they will attempt to be civil and maybe even friendly, and by the end luci will owe al a favour. whats the favour? read it yourself dammit! seriously, 10/10, i am foaming at the mouth till friday (depending on how this goes, that might be tomorrow or today)

Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love by Starlit_Rainfall (no tumblr in sight, so AO3) (i. urgfgh. what happened. i was just smiling over the fluff while crossing to go to school. where did it go. where did it gooooo)

if thats anything to go by, the last few chapters have been rough. the fluff feels so far away that i cant even explain what happens. luci was waxing poetic about swimming in maple syrup for al, i remember that much. also emily is there (fallen) tho we havent seen her in a sec. if you read it, warning for the gut punch of angst that starts chap 32 "She/Her" (though the chapter before that, "Should Alastor Know By Now?" ends pretty rough too)

Freely We Serve by @romanaxe

i dont remember how i managed to stumble upon this but im having a great time. basically alastor is a new sinner fresh in hell (but time doesnt matter and the whole cast is still here) and thinks "what better way to gain power than be the personal assistant of the heartbroken king of hell!" features a 6(?) year old charlie and a morally dubious lilith (also i loved eepy al X3)

A Family Forged in Hellfire by Green_Ghostwriter (once again, no Tumblr, so AO3)

this ones a bit newer (10 chaps), is so far mostly exposition and the slowburn pot hasnt even been put on the stove, but as just a hazbin fic in general i see the potential. basically its a 1920s au where heaven decides little charlie doesnt deserve to be raised in hell and is sent to earth with a "foster" family where her actions in life will determine witch realm she will return to after death. her "parents", al and minzy, are given false memories so they can claim the girl as their own and gee i wasnt kidding when i said it was a lot of exposition. erm honestly explaining anymore would tech be spoiling so go read it!

The Red Thread That Binds Us by @scun-gilli

{{future me prefacing this by saying i have no idea where i was going with yesterdays thought process, all you need to know from it was im on chapter 27. also scungilli your comment is making me very worried 😟 well theres no mcd tag so im sure itll fine, right? RIGHT, SCUNGILLI??}}

basically its a king x kings guard au where al and luci grow up together and only grow closer after a. certain life event for al (its fine guys trust :)) [she said, like a liar]) then al is sent of for royal guard training school (ik its not called that i forgor 😭) but dw he comes back. just watch out for graphic depictions of injuries (i think thats this fic) angst and a sneaky eve bc radioapple fics are allergic to happiness (or maybe im not looking hard enough lol) (also im really tempted to make the friendship bracelets they had 👀)

somewhere down the line by kj_crwm (AO3 link)

this one starts off as human!alastor/lucifer but by the middle(?) its just regular radioapple. basically al is encountered by luci while finishing off a job who agrees to keep quiet. luci just keeps on showing up, reveals hes the devil to which al us just like "lol ok" and eventually they get in a relationship (ooh lala 👀) but they break up after saying some hurtful things to each other (oh nono 👀) with luci promising al they will never cross paths again. if you watched the show then well. you know that doesnt happen 😂 most human!al radioapple have al summon him (no hate to them) so this was an interesting change of pace

cannot stress it enough but this is a WORKING list i WILL be coming back to it bc these are purely the fics i could think if off the top of my head. IN FACT, if any of you have radioapple fics you love, SEND THEM THE FUCK IN! i am one person whos only been in this fandom for 4 months, and reading fics/shipping radioapple even less, theres bound to be some ones i missed that you think are Worthy™️! and if theyre nsfw then at the very least it shouldnt be the main focus

EDIT: so sorry anyone who reblogged this before had to see the disgusting unedited version. literally just found out that tumblr doesnt apply edits to reblogs. what the fuck

[uhgood-girl]

why jikook?

i've been asking myself this a lot recently bc well, why them? why not tkook? or ynmin? hell, jihope even, they're underrated as hell honestly, have you seen that hot tub video? hobi was ready to unhinge his jaw to swallow jimin whole (and who (jk) could blame him.)

but jikook, in a not joking way, hits different. they always have. it's been years at this point that i've been deep in this rabbit hole (within the larger bts rabbit hole, my god, how deep does it go) but i don't recall making the conscious decision to fall in.

maybe a little background?

i'm a fake love army. actually, if we're getting technical, i'm an outro tear army bc it was in the comments of the freshly released fake love music video that i saw someone recommend outro tear if i enjoyed fake love and then it was over for me. extremely not fake love at first listen, who's voice is second on this track? i NEED to know. i'm a yoongi/rapline bias to this day. fake love still fucks though, don't get me wrong, it's a never skip for me.

for that first year and then some, i consumed backlogged content like it was my day job. i am a prone to hyper-fixations hermit, basically, who was going to stop me? my therapist? nah, she picks her battles.

i watched everything i could get my grubby little hands on like someone would be testing me on it later. (shoutout qdeoks, you were so real) i didn't open stan twitter for the first time till probably the end of 2018, really just in time to be slapped in the face full force with the shitshow that was a hate campaign against these boys i was deeply invested in by then, the likes of which i had never experienced in an online space up to that point. it was a truly, truly wild era, don't ever let anyone tell you differently.

all that to say, i've been here for a hot minute and i developed my own first impressions on bts and the members as individuals in a vacuum. no one had to point jikook out to me, they stuck out on their own.

potentially relevant disclaimer before we continue: i am really really queer. i grew up in the united states conservative deep south and had to change high schools my sophomore year bc i was outed and then violently ostracized for being in a relationship with my same sex best friend at the time. it is safe to say i have a lot of feelings about and experience even when it comes to having to be low key (understatement lol) about who you love. i am not here just to make my barbies kiss.

actually, on that note, jikook wouldnt even be my chosen barbies out of bts. if we're in true fantasy delulu hours here, i would want yoonjin to be real. god, that would be the stuff, they're so old married as it is. peak romance.

i think the first place jikook ever truly caught my attention were the memories dvds. jimin has always been a sweet, bby angel taking care of all his members but i remember thinking that he seemed to pay a little extra, special attention to jungkook. and of course, why not, jk's the maknae after all. all of them have always been doting on him and deservedly so. but in those briefly shown really serious, quiet moments, jimin was often first in line. a spot very easy for him to obtain tbh as jk never seemed to be very far from him anyway. maybe if you've never in real time lived the satellite jeon accusations (hi pandemic army, bless you, i hope you make it to 2025 when we have them all back without restrictions) you might find them easier to dismiss but it was so consistent back then in all of the content being released. and once noticed, i don't know how anyone ever un-notices it. but i was in deep before i even realized the water was boiling.

should i talk about why not tkook? or ynmin, for me? i'm just pulling those as examples bc i know they're the popular contenders here but all joking in the beginning of this post aside, none of the other members interpersonal relationships, in any configuration (sadly, RIP yoonjin romance), have ever struck me as anything other than puppy crush/deep friendship/family. and that's not bc i don't think over half of those men aren't queer in some form or fashion because WHEW, that is an entirely different post and we simply do not have the time to unpack rn but it's not for lack of looking.

i started in a vacuum, but i have by no means stayed there, i walked in all of those front doors and sat down and said "convince me." i've got the time and lack of life, i am ready to be won over. what have i missed?

to this day i still regularly try and check my own confirmation bias, i'm obviously looking for jikook at this stage but i'm still ready on my toes if any of the others want to get crazy. (yoonjin i am rooting for you, we're all rooting for you)

and i'm not here to really persuade or sway anyone one way or another either. there are a 1000 other blogs on this site that can probably offer you better explanations, specific clips, and detailed break downs of moments throughout the years and even then people are going to see what they want to see. i just wanted to write some of my own thoughts down finally.

though...i guess if i had to point to any one single piece of "evidence" it would definitely be tried and true gcf tokyo? but if watching that the first time didn't ring through you like a gunshot, i def don't think there's anything i could say beyond that.

honestly, i think so much of "why jikook" for me boils down to the pit in the bottom of my stomach that i used to get when i first began to notice them. when i got past the initial warm fuzzies inspired by the sincerity of their interactions, my immediate second emotion was concern.

i remember the first time i heard some of the other boys make an offhand joke about them being a couple and i got anxious, fast. i thought hide, hide better, please be safe. i began to pay extra attention to the other members in general too when jikook would do things and felt like i could sometimes see a similar anxiety to my own in their expressions. for a long time, i just worried about them and where i saw other people rejoice in their more obvious moments, i was slow to celebrate.

despite my initial hesitation, it's now been about 5 years since the first time they ever made me double take. they're a few years younger than me but i feel like we've been growing up together. (parasocial? idk her.) they're less conspicuous these days, and for lots of obvious reasons, but i feel like overall, their confidence in themselves and each other is quite high. i know that's probably a funny thing to say in light of this last week especially, but i stand by it. i've seen this song and dance before. i have managed my own expectations in the past, taken full steps back only to be beaten anew over the head so many times with enough "coincidences" i felt borderline foolish to try and deny anything. jikook are truly some sort of neuro-spicy pattern recognition drug, i swear.

and i've never really gotten to talk about any of this with anyone before! i'm shy irl, and shy online apparently bc i have just been lurking around the outer lines of this circle this whole time like some creepy creep but i've decided i'm over it. fuck it. growth.gif. idk that i have anything important or new to contribute to the conversation but my god, no one else seems to let that stop them so i might as well take my turn on the soapbox, no?

so 📢 JIKOOK REAL (?) jikook sus. jikook make bandaged queer little heart go boom boom.

[campfam4lyfe]

So good to meet another Brookji/Kenlynn fan! What do you think that will happen between them in JWCT season 2 (or later seasons)?

YESSS ANOTHER BROOKENJI!!!!!

okay so, honestly, i have like. zero clue. of what i think will actually happen, because there could be so many different roads for them to take. i know what i want though, and that is a kenlynn endgame. i understand why they broke up, i do. but to see their faces as it happened. the devastation--neither of them wanted it. but kenji had to do it, and i dont blame him.

but guys! brooklynn loves the camp fam--she keeps their picture up on her mystery board. she kept it as her lockscreen. she loves them. i also have to say, that brooklynn loves kenji. as a boyfriend, as a lover--as her person. darius says she was real broken up about the breakup, and she clearly had regrets. she told darius about how and where it happened. she kept that video with the "brokwie bear" and "kenji wenji." she has that video because she couldn't help but film him bc she thought he was being cute. it was one of the first things they saw when they decided to look through her phone! she loves him!

and kenji loves her--his grief over her death, his anger at the people he suspected of being involved in her death--the constant "where were you's" to darius--he needed to know why he wasnt there. that bit where he says "be honest with me. if you loved brooklynn, and mean, really loved her, why werent you there?" broke me, absolutely, cause goddamn ouch. like. he loves her, so he couldnt imagine not showing up if she called him. to the extent where he needs to know why darius wasnt and its like. does he, somehow, blame himself a lot? is that a veiled, *i* could have been there, why didnt she want me there?? devastating stuff.

but. thats all s1 stuff. youre asking about season 2 and onwards! so. what i think will happen--okay, so, you remember how in the end of s1 cc they showed ben was alive? and then we got a ben&bumpy episode that spanned the near-month he was alone. im wondering if they'll do that with brooklynn at some point. truly, i dont know. its possible, but maybe there going to reveal it in pieces, like flashbacks.

i want to know how brooklynn survived. the extent of her realtionship with ronnie, and about all the stuff she'd uncovered abt the dino smugglers since she started till now.

but also, i want a reunion so so bad, and since CT was handling everything else so well, i think theyll do a reunion justice too. and that means i think they will give some of the characters space to be angry. obviously i think there will be relief--who wouldnt be, to find out your friend is alive? but then i think there might also be betrayal, or anger or both.

and maybe also a little horror. brooklynn lost her HAND. and those moments leading up to it must have been terrifying.

i want the fact that she has lost a hand to be addressed. for instance, she can't drive her motorcycle anymore, at least not without a proper prosthesis. and its clearly something she liked doing--her helmets! one for her and one for kenji. just. AHHHHHH you know???

i want kenji to be wooed, let brooklynn woo kenji CT writers, let them woo each other.

i realize i keep meandering and never properly answering your question. im so sorry! okay--i think things will be tense, probably, with relief mixed in, but also a lot of hurt, and some anger. i think brooklynn will have her reasons, its a matter of whether or not the camp fam can accept those reasons or not, after all, we cannot force anyone to accept our apologies. i think they will however, though it may be at different stages for different characters. i think kenlynn will be able to reconcile, and im hoping for a "i knew youd come around/dont ruin it" call back. (my biggest hope is for that ghost line callback tho) but i also think brooklynn will have to show kenji that she does value his time and being with him, and just, him. which, i think its clear she does, but she got a little too consumed with her mystery for a hot sec.

[ms0milk]

ehem

A HYM TO BLACK WATER NWKDJDNFKWKFNEODKFNOWJDNFKEODNROWKFNWPFNEOKDNFJEKRKEOFO LORD HAVE MERCU ON MY SOUL, THE NEW CHAPTER?!?!?!?!?!??!??

I AM FLOORED, I HAVE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE HOW MWAH IT WAS

i was gonna give you my thoughts over a reblog, but, it 2as gonna be too long, so

ehem

idk if its just mez but wuen y/n does smthn psychotic, like when she bit the magic mans arm and th3re was blood and then he let go of her and she wae grinning widly, i got gidey lioe i was crazy smiling, its just OMLL and then her thoughts of her going to pretect her prince, and she wouldnt be able to do anything her precious queen woudnt like amd how she just staright up went for it

AND AND OMFG WHEN she got back up af5er litterally bwing birnt like a mtherfucking chciken nugget to protect her primce and then he took her and hid her when deku came to the rescue, and abt that, im not sure why but i find it endearing that she doesnt call deku by his name but champion, but anyways, she literally LITTERALLY put jer own shoulder back in its place THAT GIRLIE IW SOME SERIOUS BUSINESS and tuen even afyer that she could say smthm snarky to him amd the way je reacted afywr she told him intold you so i was 🤏 close to audibly moaing oml

and then even afyer he lef before whe couod snatch him so that he could be safe she g9t up even in that stae, foumd her sword and aimed straight at him wven if she could barleu walk

And whwn you wrote about how she was made to kill and murder as her prince's bodygaurd and how she was trained for this and thr gory bloody details and how the peopl3 she knew werw not meant for that job and she needed ro fucking finish it thwt was so I LIVE A STRONG Y/N AND IDK EVEN IF SHE IS TALKING ABT MURDER ITS LIKE how do i explain this, IDK I HOPE 6OU UNDERSTAND ITS JUST SO EXCITINGG!!!

and then she chwrged right at him whil3 he was busy and fucking shoved her blade so far into him and as she pulled out a dagger to slit his throat the queen was coming and then th3 little ending where they both fell of the cliff AHHENDIWMDJEIRJWIKXODJ2IDJIDJF3INRIW9OEJFJ3

GOOD LORD AND THEN AF6ER THAT WHEN IZUKU AND BWKUGO CAUGHT HER AND MY BABY WAS TILL ABOE TO TALK? AND WAS SEARCHING FOR HER PRINCE? JENEJEJWHEBEHEJEJEJJEK2ODK3IDK3IKDIEIDKR3K

AND WHEN YOU WRITE YOUR FUCKING DRTIALS ARE JUST MWAH MWAH ABSOLUTLY PERFECT AND EXPLAIN SO MUCH AND I CAN LITTERAPPY SEE THE WHOLE SCENE AND EVERY5HING ITS ABSOKUTLY GEORGOES 💫💫💫💫💫

ehe anyway, i would like to thank you and your hardwork and that i chang3d my username to pyromaniacslove, just putting this here so i can get a cute little ding when you update ❤️

stay safe and hydrayed love MWAH 😘

took me a while to answer bc your excitement made me giddy 🤭 i LOVE this play by play, thank you so much for your thoughts!! comments are seriously the reason I can keep writing. i'm eating them like breakfast i swear

I too love psychotic reader bc up until this point in the story, violence is the only time she really has any agency, plus i never see any capably violent fem readers :,) and I really like how it's slowly becoming more and more clear, the layers of both "shes so cool and good at her unconventional job!" and "why tf would they teach a child to do that..?" it's going to make for a real fun bkg/yn dynamic soon i promise

she's a really precious character to me, and one i can explore all the responsibility that I (and i'm sure SO many of you) experienced too young.

By the end I did lose a bit of motivation, so the language gets slightly unclear but i'm glad that you were still able to follow! and thank you for letting me know abt the username change, i'll update my taglist <3

[hyruleforests]

mkay long personal post again cause im emotional

so we're all aware my colorguard coach and all our techs are quitting after this year blah blah we know im sad and devastated ok. also uhm because i dont wanna write "my coach" or "director" everytime and im not using his name im just gonna use 🌈 for him (main director/coach) and 🐱 for her (assistant director/tech)

okay so. my friend moved into a new house recently, in the same neighborhood as 🌈 right. and so friend's mom has a housewarming party, she invites 🌈 and 🐱 cause she's friends with them, and also invites my mom cause they're friends. my mom can't make it till wayyy later, but i spend the day with my friend helping her set up for the party. so basically i spend the whole day at her house with her right. 🌈 had to be there early bc he was making brisket lol and helped set up, and 🐱 got there when the actual party started.

but basically what im getting at is that it was so so so nice to be able to hang out with 🌈 and 🐱 and they were like real people, no filters, and they both made it very clear that they weren't awkward around us. so i spend the whole day with them and friend and the party ends, everybody leaves except our coaches right. we're all sitting, talking hanging out having fun it's rlly nice! friends mom decides that they're gonna migrate to 🌈s house for more drinks, and so friend and i assume that we're staying here. (reminder my mom is not here yet Lol). 🌈 says that we can totally come hang out if we want, he gives us the tour of his house, lets us play on his arcade machines upstairs??! basically he's just really sweet and makes us feel at home, and we end up staying till like 7 so we have dinner there and by that point my mom gets there and she's hanging out with 🐱 and me and friend are hanging out with 🌈 and it was so nice man

we only have like a week till world championships then guard is over and they're both effectively no longer our coaches so i know that's why they both had no problem having no filter etc etc but it was nice to know that they both care about us that much like. man ☹️. he invited us into his HOME and we talked like real adult people and i just got really sad thinking about it because wow. father figure is really fathering. tearing up thinking about it.

and like not to be that person But To Be That Person, i know he wouldn't treat anyone else in the guard the same way he treated me and my friend today. cause i know for a fact he wouldnt wanna be at a party with any other kid in the guard, let along invite them into his house!

and again on the father figure thing i just. man. idk good chance im just delusional but. IDK!! he obvs knows my dad isn't in my life and he's gotten sappy over us and called us his kids before and it just makes me so ☹️☹️ especially after the way he treated me tonight like. he was way more open and less filtered obvs, (also a little drunk Lol), but also he was so sweet when we were at his house in like a dad way yk. idk. im crying rn. im just so greatful that he's part of my life and that he wants me in his life too cause nobody else in the guard is gonna get that the same way i do. i truly hope that he is in my life for as long as possible because when i tell you he is my biggest and closest father figure i truly mean it. like. when i think about the future and the possibility of getting married and stuff like that i want him there!! i'd probably ask him to walk me down the aisle because there's no way in hell my bio dad is coming and i know 🌈 would do that for me. man. full blown tears. ugh. whatever. i love them.

[p-t-f-s]

forgot it was possible to see sideblog notifs and im. surprised they have followers but then again so does this blog lmaooooooo. i should make vents again. i miss that. no time like the present.

fuck i need to work on my project thats past due and due tonight and if not turned in would drop me to a C but god. i hate this class and dont wanna but im already on my second retake and this time it was genuinely so much fuckin easier. even if the exact same professor bc shes the only one teaching this class did even worse with scheduling and assignment access this semester. and i genuinely have not been this suicidal since fuckin high and middle school. two different points in each. most bc of my middle school insomnia and All That That happened but my high school wasnt much worse considering i was working part time to full time my senior year of high school while also getting my associate's as my mom was kicking me out/to live with my dad in the near the end of the school year bc of me turning 18 and her being "free" of her legal duties to me [she was not bc by our law that SHE AS A FUCKING FEDERAL JUDGE KNEW was till the child of dicerce is 18 and GRADUATED HS DIPLOMA] she was finally free to move to the opposite side of the country/the political problems and backlash of challenging the baked in theosociological power structure of our city. my birthday was march and graduation was june. literal months and she couldnt wait that fuckin long. and so for the months leading up to my birthday and after i had been living out of my car which both my dad bought for me as an agreement between him and my mom as the end of his child support payments to her and so i wouldnt take the public bus after my mom forgot we had to lie to him that i was being driven to school so he would let me get my college degree bc i had to be at community college at 16 in a Large Dangerous City on the Worst Side Of Town. that shit sucked. i was Stressed and goddamn does it suck being an adult living under your own power and money, no matter how feeble, to know that even when situations are technically objectively better you can still be hella fuckin depressed. and fucking obsessive intrusive thoughts do NOT help but fuck do i wish i had the time to call for help to be able to see a fucking doctor for the first time in my life. like an actual full general doctor and getting an actual checkup and not just a walgreens sick note/athletic packet check. only having ever gone after socially pressuring ur dad by asking his gf for advice while hes halfway done in the bathroom so the conversations still going as he exits so SHE can hound on him instead of being brushed off as an anxious teenage girl bc "whats a doctor going to do?" when asked to go to the er. whos insurance ur on bc you asked him months ago while working on moving in and you couldnt go alone without ur guardian but youd been unable to hear from one ear for months after multiple home/self remedy attempts to clear wax blockage assumption. or my mother coming to visit curious as to why i still have acne after turning 18 bc you shouldnt have acne past 18 and making a dermatologist appointment she paid for to help but having previously told me that she didnt believe in getting sick bc she hadnt gotten sick for years.

and now i have about an hour left to work on a partial coding project bc now IT management is apparently the job of accounting now. i get rationally why theyre doing it and why its important but its fucking stupid and i hate it and again its fucking stupid. anyways. heres to hoping that it goes alright ig but fucking kill me and i hate everything but i swear to fuck if i dont get my bachelors next year im going to lose my shit

[ppnuggie]

Hello, I do hope you'll have a great day! I really like your writing style, it feels fresh and nice! Can I request a oneshot with G1 Astrotrain and his future s/o? S/o has been in love with him for a long time. Being higher and plumper than a usual human, they're afraid Astrotrain may not like them. S/o thinks so much on both why they should and shouldn't confess, that one day they just overwhelm and cry inside the bot. Sorry, I love some hurt/comfort! If that's too specific, you can change it!

　　　　　　ASTROTRAIN x gn human reader

　　　　『　astrotrain ,, gender neutral human reader 』

　　-> messy relationship stuffs w/ astrotrain

　　— fluff ,, sfw ,, comfort ,, angst

　　— i didnt make it to where they feel he wont like them for their body type ,, as i try to make my fics as inclusive as possible :D but to where they feel astrotrain wont like them for being human ,, bc he’s a decepticon and theyre more known and prune to hate humans ,, but tysm for requesting ! 🥹 need some astrotrain content in life 🤲 this is quite long so just a fyi !! <33

butterflies always fluttered in your stomach any time he spoke ,, voice unique and different from what you heard before. the mech before you had kept talking about something you werent all that sure ,, too mesmerized by his ruby optics to even think about what he was saying. it was definitely about humans ,, and nothing too good at that.

oh how your heart had wished for him ,, nights wasted pondering about what your relationship with him could look like. yet ,, your heart squeezed tightly every time he belittled your species ,, how he went into detail of how much he despised their existence. it hurt ,, knowing the one you desired so much would never accept you.

it almost brought you to tears ,, focus turning from those deceiving optics and towards his speech and words. he kept on talking about wishing megatron would hurry with destroying the human race. how they dont do anything and definitely dont deserve their lives nor their planet. it wasnt until skywarp had came up to him did he stop his painful speech. you didnt bother to pay attention to skywarp’s message ,, too caught up with trying to blink away tears.

“ really ? fine ,, (y/n) come with me .” the mech grumbled as he glared at skywarp’s form in the distance of the hallway. your head perked up at your name ,, jumping to your feet as you quickly followed astrotrain down the opposite sude of the hall. “ where are we going ,, astro ?” you asked using the nickname you gave him ,, curious to know about the sudden location change.

“ megatron wants me to collect something from the constructicons ,, nothing too special ,,” he huffed and crossed his arms. he muttered something under his breathe ,, catching the words ‘stupid’ and ‘useless’ and ‘megatron’ and ‘hate’ from his mumbled speech. you shrugged your shoulders and kept to yourself ,, thoughts retracing to what they were before.

there was a lot of complications. you loved astrotrain ,, so very much you did. yet ,, it wouldnt ever work out between you two. as much as you could fantasize and wish and pray and hope ,, nothing good would come from confessing. there was never a good time ,, the mech seemingly to always be in a horrible mood lately.

as astrotrain transformed you quickly made your way into his alt mode and buckled up ,, blocking out the noise from around you. it wasnt long till you got lost in your mind once again. pondering over the pros and cons and the fake scenarios of you confessing. so much could happen if you were to reveal your true feelings.

      curse it all. it certainly wasnt fair. you always wished to be cybertronian ,, hoping that then you would be able to be with your loved one. but you couldnt ,, he wouldnt bare being with a human ,, let alone you. there was so much wrong ,, but as much as you searched for a good outcome you'd never get it. your little scenarios only ending with you dead or heartbroken. you hadnt noticed a tear slip by and roll down your cheek ,, planting itself on one of astrotrain's chairs.

      " hey ,, did you spill something on me ?" the mech grumbled ,, already in a bad mood previously. your eyes widened as your hand smudged the tear drop away ,, quickly denying him. " no no ! i didnt !" you dried the wet spot in a rush to prove his accusation wrong. " then what was it that had touched me ?" he huffed ,, flying in a straight line through the clouds. he kept his focus on the direction he was going ,, not really bothering to pay attention inside him.

      " nothing ,, it was nothing ,," you reassured ,, voice breaking just the slightest bit as you said that. curses ran through your mind ,, degrading yourself in your own thoughts. " hey ,, are you alright ?" the mech asked ,, suspicion obvious in his voice. " your voice sounded a little strange just now . you better not be sick !" he added on.

      " no ! i'm not sick !" you waved your hands in the air ,, your voice caught in your throat as it cracked up a bit more then before. " i'm perfectly fine ,, i promise ." there was a few moments of silence before he huffed again. " i dont believe you ,, im pulling to the side right now and you better tell me whats wrong with you ."

      and so he did. just as he had said ,, he changed course from flying in a straight line to readying himself to land. once he made contact with the ground the seatbelt around you unbuckled and the door opened. a sigh fell from your lips ,, complying with the stubborn decepticon and making your way out of his alt mode. he transformed ,, quickly grasping you in his hand gently and holding you up to his face plates.

      " now ,, what's wrong ? youve been quite silent since when i first picked you up earlier ." he interrogated you ,, not giving you the moment to answer. " did something happen ? did someone say something ? tell me who it was and ill have a word with them ." he grumbled at the thought of someone even being the slightest bit of rude to you. sure ,, the decepticons werent fond of humans but most the cons enjoyed having you around.

      " its nothing ,, i promise astrotrain ,, its not that important ." you kept avoiding his questions ,, not wanting to confess what you were actually thinking about. you were too worried that your scenarios would become reality. the mech pondered a bit ,, thinking over your words and reaction ,, before starting to piece together things.

“ was it ,,” he started out ,, optics looking away for a secokd before returning to your own eyes. “ was it something i did ?” astrotrain couldnt think of anything he might’ve done wrong to upset you. sure ,, he often complained about your species but he never meant any of it towards you. he couldnt bring himself to think badly of you.

the thought of even doing something to cause you emotional pain only bruised his spark. you’d been one of the few who actually saw him for more then another random decepticon ,, as more then a space shuttle or storage unit like the other decepticons had. you actually took the time to talk and listen ,, spend time with him. it felt nice ,, having someone wanting to take their own time and spend it with him.

your breathe hitched in your throat ,, tears brimming your eyes for the third time. “ no ,, it wasn’t anything you’ve done .” you casted your head downwards ,, avoiding his glance towards you. “ then what is it ?” his head tilted to the side in confusion.

“ please tell me ,,” he frowned ,, optics softening upon your form. “ i just want to know ,, (y/n) ,, please tell me whats wrong .” his speech became a bit slower ,, voice lowering as he tried to pry at your invasive thoughts. you ,, on the other hand ,, were sure he would reject you immediately the moment you did tell him. that he’d throw you and leave you here in the middle of nowhere. yet ,, with how soft his voice was ,, you felt you had a small chance. a tiny sliver of hope. that maybe ,, just maybe ,, he’d see you no different or bring you harm.

“ fine ! but ,, just promise me that you wont be upset ,,” your eyes stared into his optics ,, seeking trust and hope in them. he nodded ,, not speaking a word. “ okay ,, well ,,” you didnt know how to word it ,, casting your glance aside once more. “ i kind of like you ,, astrotrain ,, like a lot .” you bit your lip ,, waiting to see if he’d say or do anything ,, yet nothing happened.

“ and i can understand if you dont feel the same ,,” your tears were ready to burst by now ,, the agony awaiting you and your heart pounding heavily. it felt torturous ,, he didnt even say anything or react just yet ,, only urging you to continue. “ and i know that i may be human ,, that you dont like humans ,, but i want you to that i love you. i love you so very much ,, and it hurts to know that you wouldnt feel the same .” a few tears had already slipped down your cheeks ,, voice cracking as you continued.

“ so ,, you can do whatever you want . kill me or leave me out here or something ,, but id rather you know that i cherish you more than anything in this universe . i cherish and love you more than i love my own life . i love you astrotrain ,, i love you a lot .” you finished ,, tears streaming down your face as you refused to look at him. only imagining he’d be looking at you with disgust ,, trying to think of a way to rid of you the quickest.

instead a soft pat to your head was what you had received ,, and his voice speaking up. “ is that true ?” he asked ,, watching as you lifted your head. he could see the pain in your eyes ,, the sorrow they held. a small nod was all you gave him ,, not bothering to do anymore then just that. his mouth dropped just a bit ,, before turning into a soft smile.

“ dry your eyes ,, little one ,, i wont be harming you nor abandoning you here . you wont have to worry about that ,,” he brought you closer to his faceplate. he gave you a soft kiss ontop of your head ,, optics full and heavy with adoration. “ there is no need for all this . im happy to hear you feel the same as i do ,,” he gazed down at you.

you were left flabbergasted ,, the small sliver of hope had sought to be true. your hands smudged against your eyes ,, drying yourself as you returned the smile to the mech. “ you feel that same ?”

“ i have for a couple of your earth months . just because you happen to be human never changed my feelings for you ,,” he replied as he set you down on a platform. he quickly mass displaced himself and brought his arms around you ,, pulling you into a tight hug. “ i never would’ve thought id get to see the day where you’d be in my arms ,, and yet primus grants me such a gift .” he whispered ,, frame warm as you kept your arms tight around him.

the panic you felt earlier replaced itself with relief ,, happy to know that those scenarios never became reality. the mech pulled away for a moment ,, optics taking in your features before grasping ahold of your face with his servos. he gently brought the two of you together ,, planting a kiss upon your lips.

[icecreamkink]

watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.

feelings.

very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful

anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start

in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr

listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?

For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies

i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics

fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service

slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it

wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god   wwx: :0

i lov them

through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart

in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back

my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think

no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD. 

some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART

lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him 

being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize

wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top 

that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.

 It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo,  lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass,  shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is,  the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP’,  “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss

fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-

and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy

i have Learned. caves = gay.

 accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)

the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it

early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin 

EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it. 

i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance

 baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)

jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"

jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry

lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((

up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all

seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez

that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir

 would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory  LIKE

when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious

all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them

hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)

its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

they are SO insufferable pleeeeease

in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”

in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.

 the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss

the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)

ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok

you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out! 

jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)

i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha. 

the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic

and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic

i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon

and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying* 

The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears 

wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression  when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh

me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”

its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE,  and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕᵧ

everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice 

ngl the sword flying looks very dumb 

“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;

the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes

untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo

related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious 

and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof 

 and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. ) 

highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.

lan zhans sad eyes tho :((((((((( 

on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn

also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'

when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///

hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss

they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad

when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN

so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted

even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf 

wwx: fucking w demonic energy   jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)

the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid

wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)

LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k

take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood

zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth 

cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!

wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn

everyone: brooding and fighting                                                                wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch?? 

showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no. 

justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁

jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword                        wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief

my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession

the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go. 

“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”

"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd

also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. .  . nice

yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON

they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((

wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer

both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w

;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all

wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience

the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected

on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY

lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;

 they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together

also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy

wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg  .   spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation

did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins

jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;

i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . . 

im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA 

when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair 

also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point

 sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like                     ?          ?

wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"

unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also   so       thrilling   (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say) 

and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris. 

jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say

i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-

 i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE

a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:

SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU  the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’ 

literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour

babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That 

(not that the pain is over LOL)

lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’

“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 

and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......

and jiang cheng.  being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance. 

THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY  

great now i made myself sad

and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all???  amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??

JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD. 

and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it

enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏

 jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him

babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future  

one of the ?? things  i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks

wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺

so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh

a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad 

her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao

 its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE. 

like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby

and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???” 

anjo sensato :(

xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...

the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof

song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn. 

wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding. 

THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change

should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells

the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is

u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever 

BAT WEN NING 

wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’ 

(they didnt) (yet)

DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.

i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again

also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever

mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy

also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious

i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something

jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he

the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock” 

in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT

oh my god oh my god

the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead

lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞

also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck

i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...

poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'

ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth

wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face. 

ME ON THE OTHER HAND"

the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*

"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard

not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho

i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...

re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?

idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling

i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again

jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god

and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night

i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not

jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'

the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl

never trust a dude with a fan.

nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself! 

when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.

and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy

netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)

the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........

there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe. 

that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities.  *longest oh boi ever*

[lonelyboxpet]

little wolf

chapter six: Friends

cw: non-human whumpee, monster whumpee, slight noncon touching? (hugging Pet even though its scared), self-depreciation / negative self talk, brief mention of past punishments, implied being forced to fight in the past, some cuddling n fluff bc Pet deserves it

tagging: @whumpthisway @carolinethedragon @thehurtsandthecomfurts @oracle-of-maybe

A week passed by and Pet started to get used to its new life, or at least it looked like it. Pet was still skinny and visibly starved, but it was starting to look slightly better, and it flinched less when he touched it.

He took it on a few walks in the local park, knowingly choosing the least busy route to make sure not to frighten Pet by the attention it would be getting if they walked through a more frequented part. He wondered if it's able to use its wings, but they haven't tried it yet.

Javier decided that it was about time to show his new companion to his friends. Pet seemed anxious about it, but he reassured it it will be alright.

,,They´re gonna love you,” he said and ruffled Pet´s grey fur, ,,don´t worry. They can act like a bunch of crackheads, but they´re friendly. You´re gonna get along, little one.”

Pet pressed its head into Master´s palm and desperately hoped that he´s right.

It watched him prepare cookie dough and clean the apartment from its cage, a little nervous that it can´t help him. Master noticed that.

,,Hey, little one, do you think you can, eh, hold this pillow for a bit? I need to vacuum the couch cause there are crumbles everywhere and, i don´t wanna leave it on the floor.”

Pet perked up and hurried to help him, happy that it could finally do something. Master chuckled and handed it a pillow.

,,Here. Hold it.”

Pet slowly opened its mouth and took the pillow gently, careful not to accidentally lick it. Master would be surely mad if the pillow got all soaked up with its saliva.

,,Great, buddy, you´re helping me so much,” Javier praised it with a big grin as he got out all the crumbles from the depths of his couch. ,,Perfect. Thank you, little one.”

He took the pillow from Pet´s mouth and Pet quickly stepped aside so it wouldn't get in the way.

They cleaned the rest this way - Javier always asked Pet to hold something, while he did the rest, and the creature seemed a bit less anxious when he put it into use. They were done pretty quickly and Javier then took out the cookies from the oven, letting them cool on the rack. He glanced on the watch on his wrist and then looked at Pet.

,,They should arrive soon, little one,” he smiled.

Pet softly chirped, its feathers a little ruffled. It was nervous.

Master crouched next to it and Pet quickly lowered, keeping its eyes down. Master softly lifted its chin and scratched it gently.

,,There´s nothing to be afraid of,” he reassured. ,,If it's too much for you, you can simply go and hide in my bedroom, okay? I won't be mad.”

Pet nodded. Hiding in Master's bedroom sounded so tempting, but it knew that Master wanted to show it off and it didn't want to disappoint him. It quietly whined. Master smiled and scratched its ears.

,,Good pet.”

Pet felt a warm swirling feeling in its stomach when he praised it. A purr escaped its throat. It half-closed its eyes and enjoyed Master´s touch.

The doorbell rang and Pet flinched, instantly becoming scared again. Its fur bristled and it curled up, looking at the door anxiously.

,,Don´t worry, pal. It'll be okay, alright?” Master repeated and got up, leaving to open the door. Pet clinged to the side of the couch and started shivering, waiting for Master and his friends to arrive.

,,Javi! Hey, bro, we haven't seen you for so long!”

,,Where's the pet? Oh my god, I need to see it, now!”

,,Dude, I missed you so much…”

The voices filled the apartment, loud and warm, and Pet shuffled a little, anxious to meet Master´s friends. It waited while they were taking their clothes and shoes off in the hall, and then, then they finally came in and saw Pet.

One of them, a girl with long, straight brown hair and a few bleached strands, and big dangly golden earrings, instantly squeaked and launched herself forward on the Pet. The creature whined in fear and flinched, quickly pulling away and trying to retrieve, but the girl threw herself around Pet´s neck and hugged it too tightly.

,,Awwww, Javi! It´s so huge and fluffy! Oh my god!!”

Pet squirmed and whimpered when the brunette basically shouted into its ear in a high-pitched tone, but she didn´t let go. Pet knew it shouldnt pull away or resist any touch, but, this was so scary and the girl wouldnt let it go and her strong perfume was making it hard to breathe and-

,,Sidi, leave it, its scared as fuck.”

Master´s warm hands saved Pet from the girls - Sidi - clutch. Sidi frowned at Javier, but she left Pet alone. The creature tried to muffle its whines, clinging to Masters legs like its life depended on it.

,´m sorry, little one,” he softly ruffled its fur and Pet pressed its head into his palm, ,,I should´ve known Sidi would be excited.”

Pet just whimpered, unable to move.

Master crouched next to it, his big warm hand resting on Pets back. He looked at the other two people.

,,So, this is Tee,” he said softly, ,,They brought you something, as a gift.”

Tee grinned a little. They had short, messy red hair, and wore a red crop top with a fishnet and black jeans, as well as a dark red leather jacket.

,,Tara brought the gifts,” they corrected Javier and slowly approached the Pet, giving it time and space, in stark contrast with Sidi's previous behavior, ,,I forgot.”

,,Okay, so Tara brought you something,” chuckled Javier.

Tara was taller then Tee, and she had dark brown, almost black hair in a ponytail. She was wearing a hoodie and her lip and eyebrow were pierced. Now she smiled and slowly extended a hand towards Pet, waiting for it to sniff it before she ran her fingers through its thick fur.

,,I brought you some treats,” she said. Pet blinked a few times, confused. Treats? Weren´t treats meant for… Normal, good pets? Pets who were actually cute and pretty and not… monsters?

Tara reached in her pocket and pulled out a plastic packet. Pet flicked its ears as she opened it, reached inside and offered it a small piece of something that smelled very, very good.

Pet anxiously glanced at Master.

,,Go for it, buddy,” he assured it. ,,You can take it.”

Pet slowly, carefully brought its nose to Tara´s palm, waiting to be slapped. Tara smiled at it. ,,It´s all yours,” she said softly.

Pet nervously opened its mouth a bit, reaching for the treat, trying its best not to get its saliva all over Tara´s palm. It took the treat and chewed it softly, surprised by how crunchy and tasty it is. It chirped a little and Tara giggled. ,,So cute.”

Pet´s ears flicked. Was it?

,,Have you named it yet?” asked Tee and scratched behind Pet´s ear. Pet gratefully leaned to their touch, desperate to prove that Tara was right.

,,No,” admitted Javier. ,,Haven´t thought about it yet.”

,,Can I name it?” Sidi perked up. ,,It looks like a… Bella. I would call it Bella.”

Tee rolled their eyes. ,,C´mon, Sidi, look at how cool it is. You can´t just call a giant winged wolf Bella.”

Sidi scoffed and stuffed a cookie in her mouth.

,,Do you know anything about its previous owner?” Tara asked as she wrapped her arm around Tee´s shoulders and sat on the couch.

,,I just know that it was a huge dick,” shrugged Javier and headed over to the kitchen corner to make them coffee. ,,Pet ended up kinda traumatized.”

Sidi scoffed again. ,,Traumatised? Dude, its a fucking scary, probably dangerous creature. Of course he had to be strict with it.”

,,How could it be dangerous?” argued Javier and Pet shivered when it sensed the slight tone of anger in his voice. ,,I mean, look at it, Sidi. It almost had a heart attack when you jumped at it. It could´ve bite you or scratch you and it did nothing. I'm pretty sure that it wouldn't hurt a fly.”

Pet for once wished it could speak. It wanted to tell them the things Old Master did to make sure it would never, never hurt him, or even think about hurting him. He made it hurt others, though. It hated that. It didn´t want to cause harm, it just- it just wanted to be good. But that girl, Sidi, was right. Old Master had to be strict. It deserved that. It was still just a beast, a potentional threat, and Old Master made sure it would never try to hurt its owner or his friends.

It curled up next to its cage, far enough from the couch to not annoy Master´s friends. Tara turned on the TV and they started watching a movie. Javier waited till the coffee was done and brought it over to the couch, sitting next to Sidi, who instantly clinged to him. Javier sighed, Pet could sense he was uncomfortable, but he didn´t push the girl away. He turned to Pet and it lowered.

,,Come here, little one,” he suggested. ,,You can watch it with us.”

Pet wasn´t sure. It didn´t want to bother them, but Master ordered it to come, so it did without a second thought. Master ruffled its fur and then patted a place next to him.

,,C´mon, up, little one.”

Pet obeyed and curled up next to his side, purring softly when he put his arm around it.

Sidi chuckled. ,,Little one?” she repeated. ,,That thing is all kinds of stuff, but definitely not little.”

Javier shook his head. ,,It likes that nickname. And I like it too.”

Pet flinched when it heard the stern warning in his voice. It clinged to his side, pressed its head into his hand and hoped it would never do anything that would make Master use this tone on it.

[unironicduncanstan]

Total Drama Music Camp AU - playlist / performance ideas

here she is,,,, the cursed secret texts,,,,, the total drama music camp playlist , along with some short explanations below, cringe city bitch (most of these are just covers that i feel are the closest to the performance Style id imagine for these characters and not necessarily the exact sound but u feel me) also i went back and tagged my previous posts abt this concept with “td music camp au” so if you dont know what the helling fuck im talking abt plz have a gander xoxo

link: youtube .com/playlist?list=PL-bPcaq3ZK2L682RHPauxrsFIPvGJdsiM (space is there so tumblr hopefully doesnt nerf me from the tag 🥺 )

Some Nights - ok so first weeks challenge. i feel like chris would just want them to all collab together on one huge group performance. kinda like on the first day of school when they make you do the ‘get to know you’ tests. idk exactly who would sing what parts tho bc there are so many so let your imagination run wild !!

Hand crushed by a mallet - ok. OKYAY. im a home of sexual. but this is a Cody, Trent, Tyler, Harold and Izzy song. Cody is on vocals (especially the rap in this version shdofsgjsk), Trent is on guitar and some vocals (does some back and forth with him during the rap), Tyler is on drums (and does that one tiny background screamy bit towards the end), Izzy and Harold are joined up on creating the background track and DJing the whole thing. the distortion/choppy part at the end is izzy LIVE going ape on the audio level sliders. its one of the most energetic performances of the whole series and surprises everyone including the group themselves

Misery Business - Duncan on vocals and guitar, Geoff on drums, Trent also on guitar and maybe some backup vocals. you all know i chose that bc i love associating mgk with duncan but. i rly like this idea actually ;;

Paparazzi - ezekiel. idk who the fuck else except maybe justin bc he’d dance that shit to death. i will not apologize thats Him and its fire but you may write and send any formal complaints to my po box. ill roll a blunt with them,

Pom Pom - Lindsay, Heather, Sadie+Katie, and Izzy. Lindsay and Heather are on vocals, sharing the chorus and each getting a solo verse, and ofc izzy does the weird rap part towards the end, and most of the background track. they all thought they were stuck with izzy but izzy is stuck with these preps. Sadie and Katie are on backup vocals, but their role in this one is mostly dancing and adding ✨ stage presence. 

Maps - Trent is on the guitar and male vocals while Courtney is on the female vocals (the ~top two performers~ gotta have a song together eventually right), DJ on drums, Bridgette on piano. Heather, Lindsay, Justin, and Leshawna are dancers bc lbr the dance from the video is pretty good for a group number

CREEPER? AW MAN - ok this one. is kind of a joke but wouldnt it be rly hilarious if cody, ezekiel, and harold did this one mostly for fun and the whole second part with the existential breakdown was just. used with on stage satire to make fun of chris for being old or smth. like would they suffer that week, yes, would it be worth it, Y E S, 

Shatter me - Eva, Courtney, Gwen, Beth. QwQ Eva’s on vocals for the first time and rocks it, Courtney is on violin, Gwen on drums, and Beth uses her instruments to make a background track before the performance so she can do stage tech/DJ stuff. oh also justin should be on this one bc i want. those costumes from t he vi deo, 

Chop suey - Lindsay and Courtney on vocals (LMAOSJFkSF listen. we love contrast queens that stun the crowd), Duncan on guitar, Eva on drums (and a lot of background screaming to help the Vibe Tee Em)

Unwritten - Leshawna and Trent? ik its a weird combo but i think they’d kill this

Shake it - GEOFF LMFAOGHJKgjfdG

White Winter Hymnal - Lindsay as Kirstie, Noah probably as Avi even tho we all know he can’t sing that fuckgin low. and idk my other 3 bros as Cody, Tyler and Ezekiel. truly iconique group

Forget me too - QWQ DUNCAN AND COURTNEY ,,,,,,,,,,,, i dont apoloigze for the second mgk = duncan pick, anyways duncans also on guitar, gwen on drums (there is no love triangle in this au btw. the only reason theyre singing this song is bc of the regular ~tension~ that u see in like tdi but its just for the stage mostly. as soon as the songs over they would hug and cheer abt it)

Simple and Clean - Bridgette on singing, Gwen on piano, DJ on drums, Beth on general stage stuff + creates the backtrack with Bridgette's harmonies overlayed

Mr. Brightside - OWEN ON THE BRASS YES BBY ITS HIS TIME 2 FUCKIENG SHINE, Geoff on drums, Gwen begrudgingly on piano, Noah is on vocals and they have to literally bribe him with everything they HAVE to get him to try and sing this way. and he does it and it aint too shabby but he will never do it again

Domino - Leshawna on vocals (again these choices are all, based on general vibe and style and not necessarily voice, this is a tiny white girl singing,), Tyler on drums, Duncan on guitar. energy to the max babey the speakers are gonna blow the fuck out on this one

Starships - KATIE AND SADIE GET TO BE A MAIN DUO !!! they alternate lines , with courtney on violin, izzy on that synthy backtrack, and justin is involved in this one bc id change just a couple of things abt the music video costumes for these characters but like. [grabby hands] gimme

Bulletproof - ezekiel vibes.....? izzy and harold get to team up again for the backtrack. weird kids only karaoke night

The Wolves And The Ravens - 🥺 a geoff and bridgette songk,,,,, 

Never Enough Praying (Mashup) - Courtney on Praying, Heather on Never Enough, Beth and Izzy end up together on the background stuff and make a rly nice track actually

Gasoline - bitch. you know what im gonna say but duncans on vocals, Tyler on guitar, Geoff on drums, Ezekiels on track

Better not wake the baby - Noah gets to sing a song that actually matches his style a tiny bit better lol, DJ on drums, Trent on guitar, and i feel like beth is the only one with any hope of figuring out the accordion keyboard thing thats in the background

This is Gospel - Gwen on piano and Trent on vocals. really the music video is the most important part for me bc i think a challenge where oyu have to sing a really intense emotional song while chris gets to dump shit down on your head from the ceiling of the stage. sounds perfect,

Wildest Dreams - codys on vocals bc god i am Obsessed with this cover being a bisexuality / coming out song . everybody thinks hes just regular simping and being his usual fuccboi self when he chooses this song till he gets to those Very Intentionally Unchanged Pronouns that he sings a little too enthusiastically hhhshHDSHHHSDH , also DJ on drums and Tyler on guitar

Happier - Bridgette solo ! 

Stay - Courtney on guitar and vocals, Dj and Harold are on the hand drum shit. once again i live for the ‘unlikely group actually works together and rocks it’ stuff. courtney as always has talent and enjoys what she does but harold and dj kind of steal the show with how in sync and energetic they are abt it lmfaodghd

[reineyday]

some feelings abt touya and bnha 302 in general! (long post)

jesus this whooooole chapter makes me so so so sad for touya, like he's canonically a crier and i just have all these images now of him crying off to the side while enji looks at his other kids and gives them the time of day. knowing that he was/is a frustrated crier makes the fact that dabi cant cry cuz of his burned tear ducts that much sadder ohhman

one of the things i cant get over is how touya was SO shunned by his dad that when he went to go tell enji about his fire turning from red to blue, he says "i might be as awesome as shouto sooner or later!" like?? this boy is 13 and shouto is 5 yet he's talking like the brother that's eight years younger than him is better than him and thar it's just a fact. the sky is blue, enji wants to beat all might one day, and shouto is better than the rest of his siblings. nevermind that he's only five and just wants to play with his siblings (and dont even mention to me how shouto says he wants to play with "touya and them" cuz im gonna fucking cry abt it. like even though touya's accepted he's bottom of the ladder in this family, shouto clearly wants some sort of acknowledgement from his older siblings and especially his older brother. IM FVCKN SOBBN). enji has made it clear in this family that shouto was what he was looking for and everyone else is not as important, and i knew this from shouto's pov but it's kinda wild to see it implied so casually in touya's words.

"you'll be glad you created me! i just know it!" HOLY SHIT. god my heart. oh my fuck. literally all enji had to do was show up to the fucking mountain, and he couldnt even do that? what the hell?? your son asks you to go to the mountain, you tell your wife not to let him go traim but she said she couldnt stop him, and instead of going yourself to make sure he's okay and BECAUSE HE ASKED YOU TO COME (and with an actually valid reason, no less! fire changing colour is kind of a big fucking deal!!!) you just?? let him go and let him stay there??? my god the amount of times touya must have burned himself and the trees with tears in his eyes. ahhhHHH!!!

what kills me (and touya too soon?) was that we thought before the back story started that enji forced touya to train till he burned up. then when 290 came out--and definitely after 301--we thought maybe touya overtrained himself and burned up. and sure, he was definitely overtraining, but to find out that the burns that "killed" him started just bc he was crying so much he lost control and didnt know how to ease up on his flames? he was upset and literally trying to get himself to stop crying, and then he just set himself aflame and burned up cuz of all his emotions??? that HURTS. holy fuck.

i cant believe natsuo's feeling lowkey guilty for not socking enji in the face like he wasnt EIGHT???? and let's be real, enji woukdnt have fucking listened to natsuo telling him to talk to touya--he already wasnt listening when touya would straight up say "look at me" and when even rei said touya just wanted enji to look at him and notice him. listen, i know sometimes miscommunications happen in families and children are embarrassed to admit they want attention and so their parents remain unaware that theyre not giving their kid something they want, but touya was as clear as can be on MANY occasions, and even rei agreed touya needed the attention and enji just wasnt listening.

also i know there was discourse abt touya being sexist by telling natsu that "the women in this house are good for nothing" and mb it was partly diff translations cuz i feel like saying "this house" makes it specific to rei and yumi instead of all women everywhere, but even disregarding that--i think it's a valid thought for him to have when rei wasnt standing up for him (where he could see, at least) and yumi admitted herself that she was too scared to interfere and so just tried to fix things and keep appearances. i feel like based on what touya's seen from them, it makes sense that he has that opinion. (also gonna mention that i think rei's and yumi's choices also make sense and i think they were valid, seeing as how they were afraid as well.)

and poor natsu being woken up in the middle of the night (what was implied to be often enough, esp cuz it seemed they share a room and their futons are close) bc of touya's pain. that's a lot of emotional responsibility for an eight year old, and it is also so sad that at 13, touya didnt have anyone else to turn to but his kid brother. at 13, i remember being fully aware of the distinction in maturity between an 8 year old and myself, and it sucks that touya couldnt go to anyone but a younger child with all his pain. i bet yumi being too scared to interfere translated to touya as "she wouldnt help me" and thats another reason he didnt go to the 2nd oldest when he needed to vent. (also not related to this but how the FUCK was natsuo so tall at 8 years old? wh a t)

this chapter. this fucking chapter. my heart aches for touya, and it's just such a huge fucking shame he didnt get the attention and validation and support he needed. there must have been workarounds so that touya could safely use his quirk. there weere DEFINITELY better ways to support your son through a self-destructive quirk, ways that involved actually being there and seeing him. i feel like if someone showed him the attention he needed and talked him through how to better control his emotions (and by extension, his flames) and a positive and healthy way, he could have been someone so great. and if he ever learned how to set aside the way he felt infefior to shouto and saw that shouto just wanted to play with his cool older siblings, it might have been really beneficial to see that there was someone there who thinks he's cool and gave him attention just bc he was an older brother, who needed him when everyone else in the househild didnt seem to need him.

and lastly, the fact that the chapter ends with rei saying that shouto is the family hero and that shouto will have to face dabi?? and it makes me angry that shouto has to take on that responsibility. that he was five and suffering for things he wasnt even a part of, couldnt be properly aware of, bc he was so young. he just saw that he was separated from his siblings and that his dad bullied his mom, then grew up shouldering enji's heavy goals and high expectations and abusive training alongside the barely-there memories of his older brother who died (i say barely there bc if natsu didnt even know shouto liked cold soba, shouto was definitely not around enough to have solid memories of touya before he "died"), and now he has to do the emotional labour of fighting his villain brother (who i bet shouto lowkey empathizes with when he thinks abt it late at night) as well as suffer the physical consequences of that agni kai. and it makes me angry that he has to do that, bc he's a Good Guy and he probably feels he has some sort of filial and familial responsibility. he's only 16. he just wanted to play with touya and them, and now he has to deal with this horse shit dabi's causing cuz his dad's an emotionally neglecting asshat who couldnt see past his dumb fucking ego until he saw shouto play with a bunch of kids during shou's remedial exam a decade after his eldest son burned himself to death. what the fuckety fuck.

lastly, since we saw touya burn uo the way he did... did he really just like... burn so much his jaw fell off, and that's how they found the jawbone? cuz holy hot (BURNING too soon???) damn that must have been painful as all hell. i wonder if next chapter we get to see if someone found touya at the park and helped him out and sorted out the jaw bone thing, or if we finally get to see if deku wakes up lol.

anyways this chapter hurt my heart big time, and i kinda wanna draw kid touya crying while being overlooked by his family to let out some of those feelings but we'll see.

and i still stand by my idealistic and naively optimistic hope that dabi gets redeemed and they soend some actually time together as a family (without enji. or at least, with an enji that has apologized to touya in seiza. like, forehead-to-floor apologize.)

does this hope sort out how dabi redeems himself, seeing as how he's murdered people in cold blood and shouldnt be excused for that bc those actions are also inarguably terrible? no. not sure how he could redeem himself for that kinda stuff honestly, but it doesnt mean i dont still somehow want the todoroki sibs to get along, cuz im weak for mending families.

also id like to send a huge kudos out into the world to rei todoroki for being firm for once and for also not running away from her mistakes like her asshole husband has been. i really admire and respect that. she was afraid and being abused, but now that she's been away from enji and has had time to heal, now that her and shouto are in the mend and she's seen that her eldest son is alive and a villain, she's a place where she can acknowledge that even though she was a victim too, she played a part in touya's emotional neglect and she's taking responsibility and that speaks to some incredible fucking strength. damn.

i hope one day that dabi realizes the same in regards to his mother and natsuo, who shouldered a lot of his emotional pain and suffered the consequences of his outbursts (even though his emotions are valid and his outbursts understandable, he still hurt rei and put a lot of pressure on natsu), and i also hope he sees that for all that he hates his father, his whole existence revolves around enji and it's a shitty place to be (and then he'll have ANGST abt it and that shit will be!! so good!!!)

yeah i think those were all my feelings. i had so many lol. their family situation is so difficult, i hope they all turn out okay and alive and healing.

oh i guess i also wanted to say that i kept calling enji an asshat and asshole cuz he was for sure, but i still think his redemption is valid and im glad he's taking those steps to be a better person by being a better father. i dont know if id want his family to forgive him for all that horrible shit he put them through (im personally hoping that no matter what anyone else does, natsuo will choose to to cooperate in the healing of his family as a unit but will never forgive enji) but i think it's good of people to try to be better than they were yesterday regardless of whether or not they get forgiveness. i dont personally like enji, but i dont hate that he's getting a redemption. i just hope it's a redemption that makes sense and forces him to put in the work, and isnt something like a death sacrifice for shouto or dabi. i want him to be alive and i want his redemption process to hurt like a fucking bitch while he forces himself to make better choices and be a better person, cuz redemption isnt supposed to be easy in the slightest. i GUESS all the crying he did in 302 was a good start.

anyways, if for some reason you read all the way down to the bottom--hello! and thanks for reading haha. cheers! :)))

[bow-wow-wark-wark]

Hiii happy 4th hypmic anniversary, I know it's been like 3 days since the actual anniversary but *shrugs* anyways I wanted to answer the questions from this post to celebrate!! (This is going to be a long post lol, this just brings a ramble instinct in me)

1. How and when did you get into HyplMic?

I got into hypmic during the end of September/ start of October of last year, it feels like a lot of time and very little at the same time lol... so many people in the fandom have liked this for super long!! I got into it bc of someone I followed on twitter, they would talk about it sometimes and I was getting a bit sick of the music I listened too so I thought "why not expand my music taste?" Little that I know It was going to become the only thing I listened too lol. I also saw this like "a hypmic characther once said" video and I thought it was soooo funny I just had to get into it. I'm honestly surprised hypmic started in 2017 bc I was going through a god awful musical phase and knowing I could have liked it earlier in life amuses me (tho back then I thought anime was silly so it wouldn'thave happened either).

2. First impressions of the characters? Who stuck out the most?

(Another long one soz) I'm going to do most of them btw.

Buster bros: ichiro was the 1st chara I knew before I got into it, for a bit I had him mixed up with jyushi tho lmao. Tbh I didnt have a very strong opinion on him, I wasn't super into BB at the start 😅 same with jiro, I liked him the most, thought he was really cute. At the start I disliked saburo a bit lol, like he was just soooo mean and I didn't like that, also I wasnt a huge fan of new star at the start so I didnt like him bc of that either.

MTC: I had to fight a lot to openly like mtc, I felt a bit bad liking them at the start bc they're all like criminals and stuff lol. I have to be honest I think that at the start I didnt think about them like at all... the strongest impression here was Rio, he was my favorite also I thought jyuto was hilarious bc of the start of bayside smoking blues, I really liked his voice too.

Fling posse: ok so the moment I saw Ramuda I was like "this guy is evil as balls isnt he?" I was pretty right lol, I thought he was a child like saburo at the start bc hes so small, man fooled me there. I liked dice the most at the start, my 1st fanart is of him lol. I didnt have very strong opinions on Gentaro, I was surprised to find out his VA also voiced yamaguchi since I was a haikyuu fan if anything.

Matenro: Lol matenro was my favorite (still is), idk what was it but I saw all of them and I was like: great :D I dont remeber specific impressions tho.... It was almost like love at first sight lol. I remeber I really liked the fact that both hifumi and doppo had tips, I thought it was super cool.

BAT: ok so I also knew who kuuko was before I got into hypmic my actual actual 1st fanart was of him (I did it before I even knew what hypmic was like at all). I really liked him, I remember listening to gyara bam and being like "this guy rules so much", I really liked jyushi, as mentioned before I had him mixed with ichiro (they look nothing a like I dont even know how) I was super shocked to find out he was also a teen lol I was pretty happy. Not gonna lie I had no idea who hitoya was at the start (rip) I knew kuuko I knew jyushi but I didnt know him, I dont remeber being very big on him till like the dramas and getting more into hypmic bc before nothing nada.

Dotsuhon: lol I slept on dotsuhon for the looongest time, I literally only liked sasara, rosho and rei were just really there for me. Sasara was my favorite bc I loved his voice and tragic transitor gace me unrivaled latino vibes so he felt very close to me in a sense. I thought rei was a scumbag the moment I laid eyes on him.

3. Who was the first character you liked?

My 1st favorites before I found out about bat and dotsuhon where jiro and hifumi!! I really liked their voices and like over all attitude and stuff.

4. Which was the first Division you liked?

My favorite was matenro, they were just so cute and I liked how they were pretty chill and just had fun most of the time. Like how they tried looking all edgy and intimidating but they were all nice guys lol.

5. How have your favorites changed?

Not much lol my favorite is still hifumi tho know I have jyushi and Otome if were ranking on like top 3. I love all the charas now tho!!! Lol these are just my bigger ones. Division wise now my favorite is mtc, followed by bat I'm still a matenro stan tho!! All divisions have done some big growing on me so I love all of them anyways.

6. What was the first song you listened to?

The 1st song I listened to was battle anthem, I was super convinced it was the 1st hypmic song so I was surprised to hear it was division rap battle lol.

7. What's your favorite solo song?

Ghhhh this is so hard to choose... I actually like basically every single hypmic song.... if we're talking only 1t set that's easier to choose. Um that would be sensenfukoku, drops and champagne gold, I like all the mtc ones so I cant choose. Second set every single one is amazing so I cant choose either, tho at the start I disliked most of them somehow...

8. What's your favorite group song?

Ok at 1st i thought it was like an all division song but I just read it and it's just group song in general.... I love all of them but one of my biggest comfort songs is papillion so I'll say papillion. If were talking all stars songs that's easier tho: in no particular order its hoodstar (just heard the + ver and it slapped), survival of the illest+, glory or dust and hang out.

9. Which songs do you think are slept on?

Mmmmm I personally have no idea which songs people like more in general but I have seen a bunch of "my favorite hypmic moments" videos so I'll base it on that. I'll personally say any mtc song lol, in those videos theres always a surprising lack of mtc so yeah.

10. Do your favorite songs come from your favorite Division?

Yes, tho it's really no problem bc I like all songs😅

11. Objectively, who do you think is the best rapper?

I had never heard a lot of rapping till hypmic so I have no idea what good rapping is lol... I personally thinks everyone does a good job, I guess someone else can school me on that.

12. Which composers for HypMic do you listen to?

None... I honestly dont like know who composes which song.... I know very little about music and I dont look into it so I cant answer this one either.

13. If you had to get someone into HypMic with one song what would it be?

Oh :0 well I'm not very sure but if anything I think the way to go would be an all stars song bc you can get the feel of each division pretty good, then if they like that introduce them to other stuff. Of course this all depends on the person lol... my brother really likes strong songs so to him battle anthem was a good hook up... I quite personally would go for survival of the illest bc it has a good feel of the divisions and it's very silly which is a series staple.

14. Do you play ARB? Drop your friend code for people reading!

Nooooo I dont 🤧😢 I really want to but I dont think I would have space on my phone, besides idk how to download it, if you have to pay for it I dont have money and if it's only in japanese I'm learning at snails speed so I wouldnt understand it *cries a little* I have seen certain events tho, I find it funny.

15. What events are you hoping to see? What character combos do you hope will show up together?

Mmmm idk I have a post about but I'll love to see a sasara jakurai interaction, I'm pretty sure one has already happened but I want this funny man to interact with jakurai more. Some people mentioned that they would like to see more interactions between kuuko and samatoki and I agree, wheres that side of the mad comic dialogue line up? I'll also like to see hitoya and samatoki bc they're both into vintage stuff ish, like fashion wise so I think it would be interesting to see. Last I want a jyushi/jiro interaction idk of there's any but there needs to be I need them to interact!!! Or maybe saburo jyushi that would also be interesting.

16. Are you into any ships?

Yes!!! I'm a little shy talking about ships not going to lie so I don't talk about it too much lol. I like samajyu a normal amount, I also like ichikuu, jiroshi, hifudo and hitojaku. I like a lot of other ships too tho, like ot3 mtc is good so is fling posse tho my favorite is ramugen. Hypmic has a bunch of cute ships so it's hard not to enjoy most.

17. Do you have a yume/self-ships? Platonic or romantic.

Not really lol, I have considered reading self insert before but I always feel a bit embarrassed. If you do you're super poggers tho.

Ok I'll keep answering in another post bc this is getting super long and the next question is one I want to say a lot about again. Umm if you happen to see this and want to answer them too fell free to!! You can tag me if you want as well, I love seeing others opinions about like hypmic and stuff so feel free too. If you want to comment on something I said you're free to do so as well

[just-keep-liftin]

My original caught story + what we did wrong + tips

Lots of you have been asking about my original caught story, and i realized i havent posted it yet so here it is.

Also it comes With what we did wrong, and what not to do. Read till end for useful info.

Also sorry for my english.

So this happened back in April 2018, An old friend of mine came to visit me hoping i will lift some clothes for her, we went to the mall quite early in the morning(mistake #1). Everything was closed and i was also hungover AS FUCK (mistake #2), we waited until the stores started opening then we went into H&M, took a bunch of clothes, there were literally 2 people in the store (mistake#3) we kept walking around the store like idiots and waiting until the lp leaves bc he was standing in front of the fitting rooms (mistake #4) when we got in i detagged and concealed everything except for a packaging from a phone case which had RFID in it so i tucked it into a pair of pants that i wasnt gonna lift or buy, i also put the tags from the other clothes on the pants and put them on the rack in front of the fitting rooms (mistake #5) We then left normally, we didnt beep or anything, about 15 min later we went for a coffee near the H&M (mistake #6)and just saw two lps coming our way i just yelled at my friend to get the fuck out here fast (the entrance was about 20m from us ) but she stood up and started crying (mistake #7-more on that later) The lps came to us and asked us to go with them, so we went back into the store with them(mistake #8)they searched our bags and found the stuff so the cops were called i was literally having a mental breakdown (i suffer from anxiety and depression) Then the cops found the magnet which is a felony to even own. They told to call out parents to come pick us up and pay the fine. My parents are both dead so i called my grandma but my friends dad came before her and paid the fine for both of us. Of course the cops wanted to know more about tur magnet so i just said the magnet was borrowed from a girl that i have only met once and i dont know her name or anything. And they said if i wont give them the name of the girl that “borrowed” the magnet to me i will go to jail. I ended up with 12month probation. We then left and nothing happened i didnt get any calls or anything. But its on my record now.

So now to the mistakes: #1 - Dont go lifting early in the morning when the stores are opening, they will pay much more attention to you. Ideal time is 13:00-18:00, we went in at 8:30

#2 - Dont go lifting if you’re not feeling well physically or mentally. I mean it, the headache i had that day was so bad i couldn’t properly focus on anything.

#3 - Dont lift if there are none or very few people in the store.

#4 - dont walk around the store for too long, lp will notice and follow you.

#5 - Dont leave packaging/ double tagged clothes in the rack in front of fitting rooms, bring them back to where you took it from.

#6 - This is only my personal tip - after you lift from one or two stores dump the stuff somewhere ideally if you have a car or you can sometimes rent lockers in the mall. Or hide it somewhere outside the mall in the bushes or something. If i did that they wouldnt find anything.

#7 - Dont ever go lifting with inexperienced people, even if they are your friends. They most likely dont know how to act in critical situations, I srsly mean this, let them go to the store and take pics of stuff they want and then go lift it.

#8 - I dont know if this applies to other countries but here if lp from one store follows you out of the store they cant detain you or make you go anywhere with them ( wish i knew that ) all they can do is call the mall security and only they can take you with them and search your bags.

Please stay safe and dont make any of these mistakes, the trouble you can get in is not worth any amount of clothes or makeup. There are many places to lift from but you only have one record, so keep it clean.

[long-live-the-castaways]

Bandito tour-Nashville

So this is later than usual but here it goes, my experience of the first show after Twenty One Pilots had been on hiatus for over a year.

Getting there:

So i had to work a closing shift that let out at 9:30 on monday but right after i booked it to get Kaylee and then we booked it to nashville. The drive was honestly great. It was so much better than the drive last month and me and K rolled the windows down and blasted Trench. It was so peaceful. Also,  if people heard some of the things we say out of context things would get very awkward.

The line:

wowowowow i actually missed camping out i hadnt done it since TDC. But we got there about 3am and it was so cold!!?!??! Kaylee ended up going to my car to sleep. So when we got there we set up her little brothers tent which was way to small for the both of us but we made it work. But like after 30 mins they moved the line and we were trying to get everything so we threw the stuff in the tent and just picked it up and shuffled our way. About 6am us and this dude named Ryan(?) went to starbucks. It was pretty chill the rest of the day i forgot the other dudes name but i painted his nails yellow and he let us have some duct tape so hes cool. And there were these people next to us that are my new best friends. Me and one of them went to get pizza for them and they let us have some. Despite me shivering the entire time i absolutely loved it. Me and Kaylee got 211 in line until they started scrunching for the show then we got 1163 i think? (163) im not sure how but it was really weird how they did everything. bUT bridgestone was super nice. There was a guy helping set the merch booth and when he saw how excited we were getting about the new merch he said "GA is gonna be blown away" and when they said that it wouldnt open till another 30 mins someone asked if we could still watch what was being put up and another guy said "of course!" then when we got in they made us all get in a line and told us that when we get in to sit down in our spot and they were gonna bring us water bc they didnt want anyone to pass out during the concert. It was so nice and every single one of the workers made it such a good experience for everyone. During the show they passed water around and made us waterfall it so other people could drink it too then near the end they just started handing out the bottles. Ive never seen an arena care so much it was amazing.

Max Frost:

What a dude! I had been listening to him for a tad before the concert in preparation but nothing could prepare me for how hyped he was. I didnt know he was doing everything so that was super cool to watch and uh Money Problems is my favorite and was so great live. Those high notes? He hit them. Love this guy and cant wait to see what the future holds for him.

Awolnation:

Um ok the guitarist didnt have to go THAT hard. i could lay on the ground and be at peace listening to them but i could also mosh like hell. They're super fucking good???? Like idk what i was expecting but they exceeded it. Really wanna go see them again...multiple times.

Twenty One Pilots:

Oh goodness i have so much to say. I didnt know that they could step their game up even more but they did. By a lot. This was my 10th concert and 2nd time seeing them and by far the best show i have ever seen. (Ive always loved fire so this next part is multiplied by like 986) the curtain dropped and it took me a second to see what was going on but when i did oh bOY. Josh was up there lookin like a fierce ass bandito holding a tORCH WITH FIRE. we were on his side second row (pretty much barricade)  so he was super close when he walked toward us i was yelling. tHEN I NOTICED TYLER coming up through the stage oN A BURNING CAR OKOKOKOK. I knew the burning car was gonna be there but that entrance??? Didnt have to be that amazing.but it was. During jumpsuit when all the flowers fell and some of the fans were throwing their own flowers to and it was so breath taking. The transition into levitate was better than anything i could ever do. I wasnt expecting him to do the death drop or go into the stands again but gUESS WHAT????? There are just so many moments and its so hard for me to put it all into words. NATN? My favorite song off the album? The one that means a lot to me? Him walking on a bridge through the crowd during it? I was gasping for air. Pet Cheetah? Incredible. Bandito? Beautiful. Neon Gravestones? Wow i love this song so much because its so raw and powerful and the fact that he put it on the setlist means he wants us to hear it. He wants us to LISTEN. Me and k were a mess. Of course it didnt help that it came right afteR MOTHER FUCKING TAXI CAB ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. You cant tell me for one second that this band does not listen to their fans. I cant believe i hears that song live wow. Leave the City was one of the songs on the record that i had trouble connecting with because i think i was trying to search to much into its meaning but seeing it live really just made it so special and i found the meaning of it, or at least what it means to me. WDBWOT was amazing as always and when we first yelled Yeah Yeah Yeah he was a little shook. He was not expecting. Idk what they were expecting this crowd to be like for the first show but you could tell by their smiles they were happy with how it played out. During Morph Tyler messed up and later called himself out on it but tbh we all did...we just kept singing with him and when he realized he messed up is when i did lmao and he also looked at josh and said Whoops and thats a whole ass mood. There are so many other moments that im sure im forgetting but if anything was taken away from this it was a little bit of love. Seeing everyone in yellow bandanas and duct tape, seeing myself in that, makes me feel fearless. I keep the term "they cant see yellow" very close to my heart. And i keep the term "east is up" even closer. Seeing everyone in yellow, and hearing everyone say that, none of us are alone. We all have each other's back. And tyler and josh? They have our backs too. Maybe not in such a personal way but they created this. All of it. They created something that has brought all of us together. They created something so interactive we truly feel like we area part of it. They tell the truth about fear and then they bring hope to life. They're Twenty One Pilots and we truly are too.

[meggannn]

LOL YOUR ROOMMATE?? I can't stop laughing omg

god did i ever share the full story of what happened with my housemate last year? i think i bitched about her a little bit but here’s the full write-up of my six months with that housemate. unedited and probably full of errors and discrepancies sorry cause im going off entirely from memory

i’ve now moved out of this apartment, but i was there for a year with three other girls. two of them i got along with fine, and we introduced ourselves to each other before we moved in because that’s common courtesy to see if we get along right? but basically before any of us could talk or interview candidates for the last spot in the apartment, this girl, i’m making up a name and calling her emily, this random girl named emily basically came in and signed on for the spot on the lease without talking to any of us. uh, okay? so we eventually all get in a group chat and talk and introduce ourselves and plan to move in. day one:  emily moved in before me and i moved in a few hours later. i walk in and see the kitchen and she’s already covered the fridge with magnets and pictures and paper clippings featuring…. herself. like, a few of them had her friends, but most of the pictures were of her. basically. am i crazy or is that fucking weird? so from the get-go she just seemed……. if not privileged (which i also knew she was later), then definitely some sort of weird type of entitled but i couldn’t tell if it was maybe just cultural differences? (she was russian but had grown up in the states. idk)

anyway. she had this boyfriend who would come over occasionally, it was no problem since we didn’t talk and just waved hi to each other occasionally. but from the first week she and another housemate who lived on the far end of the apartment were both having trouble sleeping because someone else on the floor was blaring their tv loudly all hours of the night in the room next door. after several weeks of not being able to sleep through the night, they’d pretty much had enough and managed to track down whose apartment it was, and it turned out to be this elderly black woman’s apartment. i don’t really know if the woman understood why they were so upset because i think she might have been going slightly senile as well, so i think maybe the tv, or the volume, was something she wasn’t entirely aware she was doing? but the other housemate, i’ll call her veronica (who is more chill but was still upset) understood that this was probably not a fight they wanted to pick. veronica noticed that the elderly woman had a middle-aged male visitor, who looked like family, come visit the woman a few times a week and take care of her/take out the trash etc, so veronica decided to wait until she saw the visitor again to talk to him about lowering the volume or turning the tv off, or maybe getting his relative headphones or something. but emily, like….. kept pushing it every single night. every single night for the first month or so she’d stomp across the floor and rap on the door loud enough to wake up the entire floor (the walls were thin and it wasn’t a big building). and most of the time the woman didn’t respond, but there was one notable time someone else got fed up enough to wake up at 2am and yell at emily (deservedly so) for waking up the whole hall. all of which i heard very clearly because my room was next to the main door to out apt.

things escalated when i overheard emily talking to her friend on the phone about the situation and then she mentioned that in retaliation, she went over in the middle of the night and put vaseline on the woman’s door handle. i was kind of stunned and disgusted that a grown ass adult (she’s at least a few years older than me, i’d guess late 20′s/early 30′s?) would do something like that???? but anyway a few nights later iirc, once again in the middle of the night, i was woken up by a shouting match down the hall because apparently the male relative had come back to check in on who he said was his mother, and HE WAS PISSED, UNDERSTANDABLY SO, AT FINDING MY ROOMMATE IN THE MIDDLE OF PUTTING VASELINE ON THE FLOOR CREVICE UNDER THE DOOR. LIKE. THAT’S NOT JUST PETTY BUT REAL FUCKING DANGEROUS TO DO TO AN ELDERLY WOMAN. he basically shouted at her and she kept talking about how she can’t sleep for months because of the noise, and whatever, but she stomped back to our apartment and they had this argument loudly at the door (remember, my room was right next to the front door). i listened to it for a couple minutes wondering if she would like, acknowledge what she did was wrong? and it became clear that she was so focused on the noise she wasn’t listening to this dude, so i came out and i tried to be a voice of reason. the guy was understandably really pissed that she would do something like that and i apologized for her and said she was wrong to do that (she had stomped off back to her room meanwhile) and he seemed grateful to talk to someone who wasn’t batshit crazy in the meantime so he mentioned that he had grown up in this building all his life before moving out so it hurt to see someone treat his mother this way who had lived here for 50 years or something. and after that i was just thinking like, jesus, this is so not the kind of fight you want to have with a family like this as a white woman in a gentrified apartment complex. like at some point you need to realize this is not your fucking place and if you must settle things, do it civilly or just dip out entirely.

i think emily eventually apologized and he accepted and they found out that the tv wasn’t even coming from the woman’s room at all, but from someone on the floor above who THEY also had had problems with for months.

veronica was away on a trip i think during this climax, but before, while it was still escalating, i was talking with veronica and veronica mentioned she and emily had bitched about the noise to each other often, but veronica said she drew the line when emily basically started making her complaints race-themed ever since she found out the elderly woman was black. etc the complaints turned from “it’s too loud” to “this neighborhood is so ghetto” and “that’s what black ppl are like” and stuff like that. veronica wasn’t cool with that, so she planned on handling any other complaints herself directly so she could resolve things like a normal person, but ever since veronica mentioned that i knew emily was a pos

emily also complained about people partying/drinking on the street outside till ~11pm, which imo isn’t too unreasonable, like normal people do, and basically being too loud or whatever. on some level i get it cause she had to go to sleep early to go to work early, but also at some point i was just wondering how she functioned as a human being in the real world

ANYWAY THE STORY I TELL AT PARTIES IS THIS ONE, THE ONE IN WHICH SHE LEAVES (i will try to keep this as short as possible while still giving you all the details you need to understand just how fucking weird it was):

in early november, emily group messaged everyone asking if her boyfriend could come live with us. to her credit she said she wouldn’t do it unless everyone was ok, and she waited to hear back from all of us. i was out of town at the time but i remember being really put off by this idea and i was going to say no, when i noticed that my two other housemates had ALREADY said yes in the chat. just like that. i was stunned. what? like, no follow-up questions or “we dont even really know him” or “how is this gonna work”? were they fucking insane?

i messaged her privately saying i really wasn’t comfortable with it, for xyz reasons. among those being 1) rent, because nowhere did she offer to split the rent five ways instead of four (they were basically going to split her room between them, which, no). 2) fridge/living space, which was small enough with four people to one apartment as it is, and 3) just overall “i dont fucking know him” atmosphere. she messaged back saying she understood, and i got to asking why this was so important to her to do now, because she mentioned she wanted to do it “asap” if we’d said yes.

and this is where my “no” turned into “hell fucking no.” she told me this:

in response to my question of if she’d want to put him on the lease, she said no, she wouldn’t want her boyfriend on the lease in case “something happens so she could just tell him to leave” (raising my question: what, exactly, do you expect to happen? maybe the landlord, who lives in the building, finding out someone’s living here illegally? bc THAT WOULD DO IT FOR ME)

she was marrying him in december which is why she wanted it to happen “soon” so they wouldnt be living apart. i asked why she couldnt just wait until the lease was up to do all this, to which she said:

her boyfriend’s green card (he was russian) had expired so he was now paying month to month and that’s when i realized, oh. bitch he’s using you for a green card marriage and you’re trying to inconvenience all of us instead of owning your life like an adult, or something

at some point during the conversation she like tried to bribe me with a couple hundred extra dollars per month “to cover the cost of the extra utlities/wifi/inconvenience,” which i politely declined. this was when i said basically “look i never got the sense you particularly liked living here (massive understatement) and i think that it’d work out best if you moved out, which you’re clearly already planning to do”

and she did start looking immediately. at some point while she was looking i overheard her talking to veronica mentioning that he was a huge fan of putin and she’d asked him to like, politely, stop?, lmao because she didn’t like his entire yknow politics, and he basically said “i’m sorry, i can’t betray my personal/national identity, i just really believe in putin” or whatever the fuck and i thought to myself, this bitch is marrying him anyway for some godforsaken reason

i don’t know why i hoped that she would be any more considerate moving out than when she moved in, but somehow i was still surprised when the sublet she picked out was someone she never introduced us to or mentioned before, she literally just said “hey here’s your new housemate and when she’s moving in” and dropped us a phone number and facebook page.

one last thing: while emily was moving out, veronica mentioned to me that she was really pleased i stood up to her because she felt massively uncomfortable with the situation too. i asked why she didn’t say something, and she said she talked to emily privately airing out her problems, and emily had managed to talk her into accepting that sort-of bribe privately off message, and emily told her ‘just say yes’ in the chat, so she did and was kind of kicking herself for it after. (our other housemate was off doing fuck knows what at this point; she was gone for weeks on end leaving us to take care of her guinea pigs for her with little to no warning.)

but then, veronica says, the big thing that astounds her is that this wasn’t even the same boyfriend who she’d had when she’d moved in. six months had passed by this point. SHE HAD BEEN DATING GREEN CARD GUY FOR LIKE, THREE MONTHS WHEN SHE DROPPED THIS ON US

and then she moved to fucking harlem, one of the yknow most diverse neighborhoods in the city known particularly for its black heritage, so i guess have fun honey

(her replacement somehow turned out to be just as bad as she was, so you can imagine why i was eager for my lease to end in may)