#and then maybe she can get a fucking support dog like she needs bc shes disabled but he refuses to let her get

[tinylittlebab]

bleh everything SUCKS

[boom-bada-boom]

shawn spencer, through a series of comedic should-be-impossible hijinks, gets turned into a cat without anyone knowing its him. he elects to hang around the station and help out however much his four paws can.

hilariously, it doesn’t change that much.

some notes:

hes brownish-orange (kinda like henry’s hair in flashbacks??) which means he is close enough that he has the orange cat curse™

trying to decide on what breed he is. obviously mixed but what is in the mix?? main thoughts are havana, bengal, and siamese

okay final thoughts: bengal-siamese mix with a havana-like coloring for both eyes and coat.

hes a chatty cattyyyyyyyyyy,,,,,,,, yapper frfr

dog-person lassie and cat-person jules (she canonically has two cats)

he is so indecisive on if he should try and communicate that he is shawn to the station. on one hand theyd know hes safe and maybe be able to help him fix this. on the other jules has literally played fetch with him. a few officers have hand fed him. several cat things occurred. he would never live this all down (human shawn after hes asked where he was for like two months: (heavy sweating) i dont remember)

shawn sleeping in lassie’s chair and on his lap. he started doing it for the laughs but now he has realized that oh no this is actually comfy. tragedy.

half the station supports shawn’s cat shenanigans. a third just take videos. the remaining sixth try to call animal control on shawn but he always gets away and hes back in the station like two hours later so eventually they give up lmao

while all this is happening the station is also stressing because of shawn’s disappearance. they cant find any evidence for what happened. shawn went out to pursue a lead and just vanished. consequently, shawn is trying to make them all feel better with cat shenanigans

he refuses to use a litter box. it does not matter that he is so so small now he is using the fucking toilet. (the officers start leaving the bathroom door open a crack so he can slip in lmao)

shawn reading over case files while sitting on them. hes participating (and solving them)

shawn as a human accidentally left a pineapple stress toy in the station (maybe on some forgotten corner of lassie’s desk or smth lmao) and as a cat he rediscovers it and decides to play ball using it. all this to say that people start calling him pineapple because of it. honestly hes quite happy with that name over some other possibilities

jules is the only one allowed to touch the pineapple toy. he doesnt trust lassie not to try and dump it or something like the spiteful person he is and he certainly doesnt want anyone else touching it. (he would allow lassie to touch the pineapple toy if it werent for that fact though)

(shawn very carefully putting the pineapple toy down in front of lassie for the first timeand staring up with his big ole eyes and lassie stares back and externally his expression is hella flat but internally hes like oh no. oh no its growing on me)

BIG NEWS: cats can in fact eat pineapple, just not a lot since as a fruit it has a lot of sugar (not good for cats), HOWEVER… “It’s hard to see why because cats don’t have the taste buds that let them enjoy sweet flavors. The strong sweet and tangy taste of pineapple is mostly lost on them.”

shawn finally managing to get someone (probably buzz) to give him some pineapple only to be utterly HEARTBROKEN bc it DOESNT TASTE LIKE PINEAPPLE ANYMORE !!!!!!!!!

juliet holding him like a little baby as he is purring like a freight train

LASSITER HOLDING HIM LIKE LONGCAT AS HE IS WAILING LIKE THE DAMNED

literallyyyyyy thisss,,,,

he breaks into the chief’s office to lounge on her desk and she gives him hardcore side eye before, after a while, just sighing and starting to pet him. “this station doesn’t exactly need a mascot, you know,” she tells him, to a reply of mrrp, “but i suppose a little bit of cheering up wouldn’t be too bad.” very carefully, she taps him on the nose. “but not too much. this is a serious line of work—no making a mockery of my station.” the dull thunking of a tail smacking repeatedly into solid wood made no promises.

inconceivable amounts of cat fur everywhere and on everyone. no one can brush him because he wriggles away like an eel and dramatically grooms his fur out of their reach. so he just sheds everywhere. hes got a thick coat there is so. much. fur.

he keeps sneaking into crime scenes. no one is sure how but they suspect he is hitchhiking in lassiter’s car. no one can prove it tho bc they cant fucking find him. the crazy thing is that he leads them to evidence sometimes like a narcotics detection dog but with completely random items that usually seem nonsensical at first. until they prove otherwise. consistently.

lassie to himself: man this feels just like dealing with spencer’s psychic shit. weird.

GUS FIGURES IT OUT FIRST. not because he saw anything but he just saw a newspaper about this cat solving crime with the cops and he was like “oh my fucking god. it can’t be.” and then he pulled up to the station yoinked said cat and went to an isolated corner to freak the fuck out with it. “shawn what the hell happened” he goes, and shawn meows with feeling

juliet watching gus talk to pineapple the station cat in the corner of the bullpen: ???????

several cops having the all-important conversation of what to label him as. theres no snappy cat version of K9 they can use. K9 is supposed to sound like “canine” but there’s no letter to cover the fel in“feline”

some say F9 and some say L9 and a few say FL9 or just straight up FEL9

BY THE WAY!!!!! “Police cats are becoming an increasingly popular addition to law enforcement teams around the world. These feline officers are being trained to assist their human counterparts in various aspects of police work, from sniffing out drugs and explosives to providing comfort and emotional support to officers on duty” SND ALSO “Because they are uncommon, police cats receive a lot of press. Many show up regularly in media posts. If your local department has a police cat, don’t be surprised if you see stories about them on the news”

police cats are a real thing!! shawn is not an official police cat but he is at this point an unofficial one. on rare occasions he might even listen to an order or two (the station thinks he may have been specially trained by some probably-illegal group or smth, escaped, and decided to imprint on the station) (btw this is an actual issue with some police cats. as independent creatures theyre not as predictable as dogs and might not follow orders, which is an issue in high stakes situations n shit)

[heartfucksmouth]

so my mil def overheard my meltdown yesterday and she's been quiet and meek and I can tell she had been emotional. before she left for work this morning she mentioned it and said if she can do anything to help me be happy living here she'll do it. but like... you wont?? how you act 99% of the time makes me unhappy and uncomfortable and like I'm being judged??

my mom said maybe it's good bc she needs the reminder... but it's exhausting bc my mil needs a reminder every 2 months to stop being a miserable asshole bc she's insecure af (and super trashy conservative White Woman) and it's not my goddamn job to be her mirror or her life coach or whatever the fuck this is

I don't *want* to dislike her, I don't want the stereotypical shitty mil relationship, I don't want to be uncooperative or hard to live with, but I also can't deny the feeling she gives me in my gut. Shea a fucking asshole and she doesn't even know it (or denies it bc she can't confront herself) and like. if she's spent 50 years this way, I'm not holding my breath that she'll change.

she's everything I despise.

she's racist, sexist, ableist, hypocritical, she's inauthentic always, fragile af, she lives her life in fear and speaks incredibly confidently about things she knows nothing about,

shes a hoarder of toilet paper among other things, shes a terrible cook and thinks salting food will give you a heart attack and she cooks meat while it isnt completely thawed so its dry af, she complains about everything and does nothing to change it,

shes self employed and has no financial plan for retirement besides relying on her husband (and son?). she charges us ridiculous rent so we'll never save up and leave, she yells and swears at her dog for doing dog things and uses intimidation to make him behave, she refuses to clean her house "unless someone pays" bc shes a house cleaner for other people,

she moves my shit and we essentially dont have evidence that we exist in the house except in our room (me and myles would have to bring our shower stuff into the bathroom every time until i bought a shower caddy and hung it up without asking), she once threw away myles toothbrush bc she "was sick of looking at it," if anything is wrong or broken or missing its ALWAYS myles fault, she expects myles to bring in the groceries every day even if its one bag,

she'll do all the dishes but leave aidans bottles for me to do, she insists aidan will die if he doesnt wear socks, she sits him in front of the tv and leaves him there, she lets him cry and tells him hes fine while refusing to pick him up to comfort him, she only knows how to make him fall asleep with a bottle and once hes asleep she puts him down, but she's pro-life and tried to use Aidan being born as further proof supporting her belief ..

she's a Trump supporter. STILL. I should have just lead with that. I could go on for a while longer but I'm exhausted.

idk. idk what to do. I'm just going the way I did with my dad and trying to feel nothing for her. I get that she's human and flawed and has her own shit and she's fucked up and insecure but like. I don't care? I don't want to cater to it or live with it or expose my child to it. I feel guilt for it, but I'm not going sacrifice myself to make others comfortable anymore.

I really hate this.

[sid3buns]

Cool little writing game I've been taggued in by @joeys-piano (thank you so much ! ) I've been writing SO MUCH lately to cope with the stress of several life events all happening at once and because I can't afford therapy, so this is the next best thing. I will post 3 snippets from published fics and 2 from current WIPs :3 I'm only tagging @fukurodani bc i think everyone else from my minuscule pool of moots who write have already been taggued, afaik ; but if not pls feel free to do it! Rules: Post your favourite line or passage from as many of your published works as you’d like. Let yourself feel proud of your creations! Tag as many people as you post snippets, so your fellow fic friends can be proud, too. Anchors | Windbreaker

All it takes to fall a man is to figure out where the hits are the most likely to land. This one was full of holes ; it’s a punch to the kidney, a swift hook under his weaker knee (the right one), and he’s on the ground, head bashing against concrete in a crack that might as well be the wind rattling a tree. Suo craves for more ; the song is not finished. If there’s to be an intro, a bridge, and a chorus, it needs a worthy finale. How easy it would be to smash your skull open, right now. He wonders if one hit is enough to see brain matter stain his kung fu shoes. He almost finds out ; his leg lifts on its own, it’s a hammer on a nail. One step away from being a coffin.

Bouquet | Blue Lock

” And what do you expect me to do about it, “ Barou hisses, busying himself with leaving wet circles of condensed water all over the table with his glass of beer. “ I don’t know him, I just prepare flowers for his wicked needs. “ That’s a half-truth ; Barou is starting to know Isagi. They chat for a bit whenever the man drops in, and it’s almost daily. He works nearby the flower shop, and it looks like it’s very demanding work. He has a dog named Müller, and he likes to watch soccer matches to unwind. They support opposite teams ; Barou gets to nag him about goals a couple times. “ Maybe just slip him a pamphlet, or something, “ Niko says wisely, staring at Barou from under his bangs. “ Or drag him to the back store of your shop and fuck his brains ou- “ The waitress has to intervene when Barou almost chokes Aiku to death at their table, and Barou gives her a nice tip.

Barou Shouei's Seemless Guide To Successful Dating | Blue Lock

“ What are you afraid of, Shouei ? “ Trust. His mom reads between his silences ; mothers are made of magic and stardust. “ Have you tried trusting this person ? “ and she knows the answer, because how could Barou even begin to understand how trust worked - he’s always been a lonely child, on top of his lonely mountain. “ Can you trust that they know you enough to understand all of the wonderful things you offer to this world ? “

Trying To Feel Alive (WIP) | Blue Lock

He’s surprised to see a flash of long, red hair, and he smiles softly as Chigiri continues to hit the dummy in diligence. Sweat falls in heavy drops from his drenched, beautiful skin, hair carefully braided to the side as always ; some strands have fallen in front of his eyes, sticking to his skin, but Chigiri is elsewhere - there is anger in his eyes, and sadness, and rage. It permeates his kicks with something foul. Chigiri is not training - he’s fighting for his life, right now, and it makes Kunigami so, so sad. (It reminds him of himself.)

Déjà Vu (WIP) | Blue Lock

” Because sometimes, Rin drives how he ought to really drive. “ They reach the very end of the cliff, and car lights illuminate the night in the faraway distance. “ Like he’s the freest man on this goddamn earth. “ They’re finally in front of them ; it lasts for a split second, and yet it feels like eternity in Isagi’s eyes. It’s here in slow motion, time standing still, he sees it all on Rin’s face - this punch drunk madness called freedom, seeping through each and every one of his pores, reverberated in the halo of his smile. In that moment, watching Rin feels like staring into the sun - blinding and warm, all engulfing. Isagi’s heart shatters into a million pieces, because he wants to chase after the light.

[saulwexler]

saul gone aired almost a year ago so maybe that's why i can't stop thinking about the whole thing rn. it all stems from the fact that i genuinely miss a show i can't even bring myself to watch anymore. but anyway. my mind keeps coming back to one element in particular: the handling of mcwexler's mental health. 6b tries and tries to show you how jimmy's self-destructive behaviors have taken a toll on him, but then nothing seems to matter anymore when he hears kim's confessed and then he proceeds to do it as well – in what seems to me like a classic "love saves you 🥰" narrative more suited for other kind of media imho. and as for kim, i know she starts to volunteer in the law again or whatever, i know she goes to cheryl, i know she isn't wearing those loser clothes in the last scene, still, i wish she could've gotten more of her journey – she was one of the main characters... until she wasn't anymore, and you were left to try and solve the puzzle of who is this person and how she's going to fight those demons that haunted her way before the howard tragedy. for a show who made me fall in love with these people's minds and how fucked up they were, the lack of closure or even perhaps realism and depth in the finale in regards to their traumas still makes me so sad

False it’s been 900 years since Saul Gone aired. It actually feels like grief since I don’t typically get that emotionally invested in shows and I don’t see it happening again. I can’t go back and I can’t go forward. just sitting in a corner i haunt 😩

my mind keeps coming back to one element in particular: the handling of mcwexler's mental health.

mental health in bcs lives in my head rent-free and I can barely articulate it. He was able pull out of his mental breakdown using the saul mask one more time, but it wasn’t really addressed 🤷🏻‍♀️ like, Jimmy has intense baggage, criminality-addiction-metaphors plus textbook mental health issues. He clearly has a good heart and is genuinely trying to dig himself out of a hole, but traumatic events keep piling up, and he lost the only people he could turn to for support (and these relationships were unhealthy to begin with). In a show that deals more with realism in the justice system, life in prison thematically works as jimmys ending! - it’s storage space for the mentally ill, addicted, and lonely. cynical and dark? sure!

nothing seems to matter anymore when he hears kim's confessed and then he proceeds to do it as well – seems to me like a classic "love saves you 🥰" narrative more suited for other kind of media imho.

This goes back to my theory theres a reason so many people seemed to think jimmy’s confession must have saved kim from her own punishment. The knowing glance before the the bait and switch confession feels like it should free her because that’s the type of cliche we are used to *in other kinds of media*. If life in prison doesn’t help her and love doesn’t redeem him, we are left with that more cynical dark ending (which doesn’t not work!) But the lighthearted tone from his sorkin-esque speech to the bus chant minimizes just how bleak his ending really is. It feels glib in a way no other character ending was.

The change of heart after he hear’s about Kim’s confession also denies him the same character growth. Kim is still his moral compass. If she told him to confess about lalo when the ada offered the deal (and i suspect when she was leaving him) i think he would have. but at least he became a man worthy of looking kim wexler in the eye! No longer a dog in kim’s presence now that he regained his humanity! humanity he lost from… trauma 🫠

There is “up to interpretation” and there is confusing. i chose confusing since gould and co have more recently doubled down on their *official* version (that jimmy wont get out early, probably wont see kim again). i would like a sane reason why they felt the need to backtrack on this instead of leaving us in peace.

as for kim, i know she starts to volunteer in the law again or whatever, i know she goes to cheryl, i know she isn't wearing those loser clothes in the last scene, still, i wish she could've gotten more of her journey – she was one of the main characters... until she wasn't anymore, and you were left to try and solve the puzzle of who is this person and how she's going to fight those demons that haunted her way before the howard tragedy.

it's frustrating the way kim was such an afterthough in 6b after being one of the most nuanced female character’s i’d ever seen. She just… wasn’t there, and when she was there she didn’t talk. i love rhea, she deserves all of the awards, but iif people think her best performance was sobbing on a bus I will riot. LET HER SPEAK!

We went from “i had to time of my life with you” to her telling some rando “when i knew him, he was [good]” like who is this person!!! We were so used to the slow organic character development there was definitly shock value in how she was post-time jump. trauma and guilt impact people, plus it’s been 6 years, and us obsessive freaks can take a stab at connecting these gaps! but honeslty i could do the same thing if instead of girloser floridakim, she became a train jumping hobo or a wall street trophy wife or an alcoholic working at piggly wiggly or whatever. She has become the blank puzzle.

for a show who made me fall in love with these people's minds and how fucked up they were, the lack of closure or even perhaps realism and depth in the finale in regards to their traumas still makes me so sad

it's still so frustrating that this show treated these characters with such nuance and depth, only to end things in. black and white. my theory with bob’s cantankery is its exactly like that. he keeps saying how miserable playing jimmy was, as such a lonely sad character… he suffered for his art and for what? for people to think he had a simple ending? Misery forever:)

[roobylavender]

if we’re criticizing thg, i would like to say the quiet part out loud irt to why finnick’s death fucked with so many people’s heads: collins killed finnick off in the same book where she revealed the level of brutality he faced irt to sexual trauma at the hands of the capitol, after using it as reasoning for finnick’s inability to be a figurehead for the revolution. in addition, she did so after taking the time to fully establish just how much he & annie were each other’s support as deeply traumatized individuals, in a way i’d argue was a better thematic reinforcement than any relationship katniss could’ve ever ended up in. if any death was pointless, it was his. i’d go as far as to call it gratuitous, even, considering the manner of death and the almost… sensationalist nature of it…. like, he was killed by lizard-dogs.

and look, death is random, i get the point. that doesn’t mean it was executed well, or that the right character was used to make it.

idk, even as someone not as aggravated by the series as you are, and as someone who can still relatively enjoy it while making criticisms, it’s irksome to see people hum and hah about finnick’s death. they want to complain without ever saying why it left such a bitter taste in the mouth. but there is a very big why to talk about, and its just as relevant to the overall political commentary as the rest of the series! also to comment on district 13, it’s funny because i initially read them as the neoliberal extreme to the facist extreme of the capitol, with katniss being the one who wanted to burn it all down, so i guess not quite hitting her point is a habit for collins. or maybe i just need to give it a more sober reread as an adult, lmao. (but oh, speaking of, don’t read the prequel. ever. save yourself, it could be classed as a form of torture. it’s bad and a waste of time. like oh my gosh the essay i could write about all the horrible neo-liberal ass-showing that takes place. holy fuck)

yeah and like personally the thing that additionally irritates me is we don't even really get to know finnick. or any character outside of katniss and peeta really. every other relevant character is merely a face with a few key attributes or background trauma but they don't feel like actual people so the deaths not only feel pointless bc they're there for shock value but also bc i feel like i don't even have any connection to the characters who are dying. like she's so bare bones in the writing and overwhelmingly plot focused that it leaves most everyone barely any room to actually develop or become fully realized as people so it ends up being a read rife with senseless drama all to make a very watered down point about how "all violence is bad" and "the oppressed can be as bad as the oppressors"

[endfght]

🎲🎲🎲🎲🎲 i want more <3

tod waggner & kinsey oliver: tod b like 🧍 prrrety grill. dating christa or not this man is still blushing and stuttering and fumbling over himself in front of pretty girls im sorry theres nothing that can be done to change him. idk truly theyre both survivors of a tragedy??? both were/are incredibly fucked up for a Long Time after said tragedy..... emotional support friends when tod is just like a golden retriever he can be ur esa dog kins.

kirby reed & kinsey oliver: i had this in the tags originally and then was like?? idiot what are u doing sO : kirby is in the fbi now....... and probably would have been (or would have been in training but we can fudge the details ok) just starting out when everything happens with kins and mal the second time,,,, so What If she were to have helped mike (and his team) find them???? i simply think that these girls as her first case is sexy and would be exactly what she needs to throw herself into her job to rly stop ppl like charlie<3 and the man that took kins and mal.

bethany bixler & kinsey oliver: ok so it was a no on the hell priest with a love for pain and pleasure but.... what about deadites. totally different from creatures from hell........... but also we can go Not That and beth could meet kins while shes on tour w a band or something like that. kins if ur nice to her for one (1) second beth can get u backstage to meet the band for free ok just one (1) kind gesture.

jules louden & kinsey oliver: mal is related to the loudens,,, there is not a doubt in my mind that they attended parties at mals house for holidays/special occasions and to think that kinsey would not also be there is absolute insanity. jules/mal/kins (and stef too if she would like to join ofc<3) were probably an unstoppable trio when they were rly young,,, just annoying the absolute hell out of their relatives and gossiping. complete menaces if u see them walking towards u RUN. u know those holidays at ur aunt n uncles where u beg ur parents to sleep over for the night.... yeah thats them. their campouts in mals treehouse<3 but immediate Not Sweet jules comin Back From The Dead.. the first holiday that she attends and maybe mal brings kins with her.... how different their interactions would be.. but also so the same bc they all went through this horrible trauma and still came out on the other sside blah blah u kno. i think they could be neat.

michael roth & kinsey oliver: YEAH BOI. theres so mcuh that we can do with that but what can i write here that we havent already talked about???? what i cAN do is tell u some of my favorite ideas ok. im a sucker for letter threads so ,,,, if kins wants to keep writin mike letters he will answer them. or like. The FIRST letter she sends to start it off. the mental debate he has ab answering. mike interviewing them at the hospital but lowkey having the Worst Time bc he looks at kins and sees hannah and wants to scream and cry but also hug her. IDK i can keep goin i just we need to write them ok. kins (and mal) visiting mike and the others at the station a few months after theyre found to say thanks or smth idkidk thats probably dumb and a bad thread idea. they just have so much potential and the fact that we havent written them yet is a crime @graecland.

[hislittleraincloud]

...So I was just called a faggot near the end of mine and the baby's walk.

Yup...if I had to hear it, you have to read it.

Short (for me) story about it under the cut though, bc I'm posting pics of the canine.

I seem to have an on-sight polarizing effect on people, even though I don't even dress like I could be clocked as anything out of the ordinary: People either quickly gravitate towards me via animal attraction or they quickly decide that I'm somehow dangerous or a threat of some sort and thus I get one of either two reactions...they ignore me or they spew ignorance at me, often loudly. Silence vs. violence. It's always been that way.

We were almost done with our walk and were waiting at the street corner for the light to turn. There was one car at the light waiting to go towards the lake. I watched the gunmetal colored SUV's driver side window through the corner of my goggles because it was billowing weed smoke while he waited at the light. There were no other cars and no one else around. Just him, and me and my baby waiting on the opposite corner.

As soon as the light turned we started crossing and he started moving through the intersection but he leaned out of his window, said "Nice fucking dog, faggot!" Clearly and loudly. Young, barely even out of his mid-20s. I looked over at him as he did, even though he'd sped up. Once we got across to the sidewalk I double checked — he was indeed talking to me, as the sidewalks were still empty of other people and dogs.

My dog/baby is a little 7 pound pomeranian mix. She was bred for no other purpose than to be a companion to people (i.e. she's kind of a 'designer dog' mutt), so she was raised to be my support animal. She's sweet and cute as fuck, and brings a smile to peoples' faces (not that I care about that part... she's my baby). And she often does it by what she wears/what she gets dressed in (people misgender her and it's tiresome). Today she was wearing her Enid 1 jacket (she has a small collection of plush jackets, two are Enid Sinclair-like colored and one is black and white checkered "Wednesday" patterned, and she picks from them herself which one she'll be wearing on the walk).

It looks like this

I don't have pics of her in it but maybe soon she'll have a little fashion show 💀 She's the princess of our neighborhood.

And then I considered myself. What was I wearing to warrant that? I wasn't wearing anything that could even be construed as queer. New jean jacket over my Beetlejuice shirt, plain charcoal colored jogger pants. My 420 cap on backwards, my face fully masked (like in the Lords of Acid pics/video). My cane in my right hand, which is just plain black with a lucite handle.

What was I doing to warrant that hateful shit? Nothing. I was waiting on the street corner with my baby. Quite obviously needing the cane to walk with her. And somehow some asshole thought he would heckle me from his car with the f-slur.

Well okay then.

I don't know. I suppose I'm sharing this because even at 50 years old, even in the Bay Area, and an area in which there are queers everywhere, some asshole is going to call you faggot regardless if you even are one, and sometimes there really is nothing you can do about it except let it roll off your back. Words from strangers who don't know me don't affect me. I don't care what they think. I've never cared what they think. Why should I let such words hurt me? They're words.*

That's how I survived this long.

It's hard for me to accept compliments because the walls against hate are often impermeable towards love as well. Survival can be a trade-off, and sometimes we have to learn where the love is in order to let it in. It's even harder when I see that nothing's truly changed for us in the decades I've been alive. There are always going to be hateful people out there. You cannot just form a movement against it. People have the capacity for love, of course, but some people are just pieces of shit.

I guess that's why I pamper this fur child so much, because she doesn't have a hateful bone in her little body. If that makes me a faggot, then so be it.

She even rocks her Rowan glasses. She has a large collection of glasses/sunglasses. Hmn, okay that might be very, very 🏳️‍🌈. But she doesn't ever wear them outside. Maybe it's her pom quality? Short king with an Elle Woods dog. ...Maybe that was it....

[brittapcrrys]

this post just making me think abt something for, like, the 10th time today....

this got so fucking long ahhh i am just. justifying all this to myself as im unpacking where the feeings are coming from jsdfkhs glad i have a psych session next week, guess i know what we're gonna talk abt!!

i was rly generally frustrated this afternoon and got a message to pop around for last minute planning for the help/work im doing for mum's friend for the next few weeks. and like yeah i know that it is generally within my range of abilities, i know that most times i help 'em out like this it's Fine and occasionally even Fun, i know that if im Not Well or anything else i can text and say look can't do it today sorry and that'll be accepted!!!

but. whenever i am asked to Do these things (dog sit / dog walk / plant-sit&garden, etc) for "neighbours" and friends there's like......... they KNOW im unemployed and they KNOW i've done it before so there's this feeling of an unspoken expectation that i WILL say yes, i will agree to do it when and as asked.

and ig to some extent it's reasonable for any of them to think 'she's been happy to do it before so there's good odds she'll probably, hopefully, do it again!' and they're never DEMANDING abt it or anything so maybe it is, at least coming from the 'employer' in each case, mostly just ~in my head~ n something i'm seeing/feeling/projecting that's not Actually in there

but idk when i HAVE had jobs in the past (waitress, cleaner, babysitter, tutor, library assistant) if i got ~called in~ the day before i uhhhh could say no. and would say no. and i didn't feel bad abt it i didn't care like i had a (casual, but pre-planned) roster and i've been fortunate enough that saying 'no, i can't' didn't lose me those scheduled shifts or the job as a whole, i know that. but bc this isn't an ~official~ job there's no structure it's just a 'get a text 1wk-to-12hrs before, help a neighbour, get twenty bucks' kinda deal each time it feels like i HAVE TO say yes. if i don't have some other thing already planned, i have to say Yeah Sure or im evil and horrible and the worst and should be ashamed

excepttttttttt i think. a lot of that. comes from my mum lmao always a fun connection to make. bc i made some exasperated comment mostly to myself during that frustrated moment this afternoon and she was like "well what do you mean? why can't you do it? why would you say no? did you WANT to say no? it's not like you have much else going on... it's not even hard why wuold---" etc etc and dad isn't quite so expressive, ever, but less and less so as the PD continues to wear away at him & his speech in more obvious ways, but has similar sentiments. and like.... just bc THEY can't/won't say no to stuff doesn't mean i shouldn't????? mum will say she needs a week to herself and then 10minutes later has agreed to be a TRT (substitute teacher) for 3.5days that week. dad just thinks 'you do a job until it's done. you get asked to do a job, you do that til it's done' and like let's not even THINK abt the way that has worn each of them down physically and emotionally at different times, including now. like they just view Work and the related Expectations/Obligations differently, i guess? whether that's a generational thing, a ND (me) vs NT thing, a 'farmer and air force electrician' and 'lifelong teacher' and 'we both moved out at 16/17 and supported ourselves from that point on / u can't get something from nothing' thing. i have forgotten where this was going jfc

anyway. the dog will be a lil moody if i don't visit her for a couple hours & go for a walk, but she'll be fine. the plants can be watered by someone else, or - esp in the current weather - just miss a day, they'll bounce back later. me doing these things when asked is not, like, the key to holding the fabric of the universe together. nobody's life is gonna come apart at the seams bc i said 'oh, sorry, i won't be able to d that today/this week'.

and i shouldn't actually have to explain why! maybe i have a migraine and can't stand up straight. maybe i'm having a gastrointestinal Hell Episode. maybe i threw up overnight and am still very distressed abt it. maybe i haven't slept in 48hrs. maybe it's windy and im teetering on the verge of a panic attack and rly cannot be outside in it. maybe it's PMDD time and i know i don't have the patience to interact with another being especially not in a way where im solely responsible for it. maybe im bleeding heavily and cramping to the extreme on and off without warning. maybe i haven't been able to get out of bed all week because i just dont want to exist. MAYBE i just! don't! wanna!

and idt it's fair that anyone says or acts in a way that suggests im doing something Very Wrong or Shameful or Disappointing (there's a difference between, 'oh, that's disappointing, but thanks for letting me know' disappointment & 'why would you do that? what are you thinking?' disappointment, which is the kind i mean). is it gonna be fine most times if i agree to it even when i don't rly want to? yes. it's always mostly fine-ish. it's nto abt avoiding it out of anxiety or whatever like im not nervous abt walking this mini daschund that adores me. im not nervous abt watering plants that are essentially the same as my own at home. it's just, like, weighing up 'would doing this likely improve my mood/day? will it probably just be a non-impact kinda deal? what are the odds it makes me / my day worse?' each time (knowing when my psych appts are, when my period is and general mood shifts during my cycle, how my sleep and mood have been in the day/s before the 'shift', weather, etc etc etc) and determining which is likely to be the most effective and useful (or neutral, sometimes) option for me in that case!

and if that reason is just 'ehhh i really just Dont Want It today/tomorrow' that is also fine, actually

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

hey um this is a real fucking vent of a post maybe dont read if ur triggered easily by family/abuse stuff. I just had to get it out im sry. its not too coherent

I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him. my dad. one second we're having a normal conversation about art. then he's screaming at me to shut the fuck up, swearing at me, telling me how behind everyone else my age I am, telling me that I DON'T deserve respect or to be treated like a human, mock-bowing to me while laughing at me and saying that I think I'm sooooo important "like some kind of fucking princess" bc I said I don't deserve to be treated like I'm not human. yelling at me over and over to "shut my fucking mouth", saying that this is why I have no friends, why I lose every friendship I care about, and that he can throw me out right now if I keep "pushing it" and he won't care and there's nothing I can do about it. that I don't have real friends and can't name them. that I'm only acting how I am because I'm "on my period and a bit wacky".

....what sparked this? I said I wash underwear in hot water after I buy it, and that it didn't matter if that was "logical" or not bc I only buy new undies once every year or two. that's what sparked this whole thing. that and me saying "How dare you.I don't deserve to be treated this way." when he blew up. ...literally just yesterday he was saying how he's so proud of me and loves me. not even 24 hours ago he was saying that he could see how hard I'm working and that he understands if I need a break because I'm doing so well. ten MINUTES AGO we were talking about art, looking at the bedsheet I'd ordered and he was complimenting my choices and saying he'd put me in charge of buying new sheets for the household soon. TEN MINUTES AGO. what HAPPENED.

...and I know he'll just go back to loving & respecting me after (insert length of time here) when he feels like it, and until then I'll be excluded from all family interactions, treated like a literal threat and monster at all times, called "my abuser" instead of "my daughter", and forced to hide. ...and then I'll be his Amazing Smart Hardworking Daughter again, unless I bring ANY of this up in which case it will go from Bad to Worst and I am now "THE abuser". this is how it goes. this is how it's gone for a decade. why do I always forget this part when things are good. Even if I write it down or record it (THAT WAS A BAD IDEA HE GOT SO PISSED) it feels...fake??? like it just doesn't exist. I am fully aware that this is gaslighting.

I am fully aware that he does this and simultaneously presents himself to the community as an example of RECOVERY from abuse and has CONSIDERED BECOMING A THERAPIST. I don't have shit on him bc I have nowhere else to go, and I'm not in physical danger. staying here until I can get into college and/or get a job IS my best bet, bc while this is traumatic and unpredictable he's fully all bark, no bite. the majority-ish of the time, things are good. He does house and support me despite having just lost his job (though I'm paying for a lot of the groceries- no job here either), and he's actually been really amazing & supportive this year in general... except when he does This.

and GOD does This suck

one day I'll figure out how to stealth-record on my phone... idk why. when things are Bad Like This i want some record to release to our community once I get independent, and blow this lie out of the water. Ik it's ungrateful but like... what the fuck dude

I'm really thankful for what he's doing for me

but what the fuck dude

why

it's going to mean NOTHING in a few hours/days. he's obviously letting out some internal thing that he has no idea how to channel appropriately and nobody else he can aim it at who wont fight back (except my little brother, who has never done anything wrong ever in his life and is ALWAYS dad's "son") (and the dog, who he sometimes threatens to scare until she pees if she's barking like a lunatic at the pizza guy or someone, but he's mostly-joking/ never actually does it because she's "the best dog in the world") (...I'm treated less human then the dog)

but its just so mean

(also obviously if i even raise my voice/tone a TINY BIT at him, or say a word in a way that he percieves as mildy passive-aggresive, that's a trigger for things to go from Good to Bad unless I immediately literally grovel.

...if you want to uhhhh please send funny videos, art DIYS, animals, mythology, the worst most cursed music and/or mashups you know. I could rly use it rn. just rec me something. anything. (not fanfic tho- I'm currently writing my college application essay on fandom's role in modern folklore, so for once I Do Not Want To Hear/Read Any More About It)

[ma-lark-ey]

*opens book* “Whelk missed—“ ah shit. here we go again. oh maybe i get answers.

“he should’ve just abducted Gansey, now that he thought about it.” WHY ARE YOU SO NONCHALLANT ABOUT THAT? BE FUCKING CHALLANT WENT DISCUSSING FELONIES HELLO???

“The Parrish kid would have been a better bet. No one would miss a kid born in a trailer.” I am going to cool you like a stir-fry and server you to my dog. Get that boy’s name out of your mouth.

OH HI NEEVE 💖💞

trusting the process trusting the process trusting the process

GANSEY !!! the king returns (he was gone six pages) (it felt like decades)

something so tender about Adam “let me do it myself” Parrish finally admitting that he cannot, in fact, do it himself and being vulnerable enough to not fight Gansey on being his support. Only because Ronan protected him, too. These three are literally inseparable I’m unwell. they’re literally besties your honour. nevermind i was too hopeful about teenage boys having emotional literacy. blue come get your man (doesnt know which man i even mean)

NO GANSEY NO GANSEY THEY LOVE YOU SO MUCH GANSEY GANSEY NO GOD I WISH TEEN BOYS HAD C O M P E T E N C E FUCK

“all of your things in one place, under your roof. everything you own where you can see…” Maggie Stiefvater you already killed me did you also have to desecrate my corpse??

it’s awful because both of their perspectives make perfect sense to me & there is no solution to appease them both. Gansey cannot offer Adam refuge without Adam feeling pitied & manipulated, Adam cannot find refuge without accepting Gansey’s help. The problem is Adam only knows to bite the hand that feeds, not how to be feed & cared for. It’s a threat to him because it’s ALWAYS been a threat to him.

NOT GANSEY REFERNCING THE LIFE EXCHANGE. STOP.

“my words are weapons of destruction and i can’t disarm them.” is so the thesis statement of this whole thing. Gansey tries so hard to ground himself & understand how real life works for average people, and he fails just as spectacularly at it. & like, Adam knows & sees that, but right now he’s not in the headspace to process that.

went back to check the tarot reading bc blue referenced it & i couldnt remember what maura said and. AND. “Your father?” “Brother, I think.” “I don’t have a brother, ma’am.” BUT HE GLANCES AT GANSEY??? literally take me out like a horse with a broken leg rn.

if anything happens to neeve i wouldn’t care in general but if BARRINGTON does something to neeve I’m causing a riot.

he put his head in her lap… she reached out a hand to him… I’m not doin well.

NO. NO. NO.

OB THATS ADAM DREAM. THATS NICE SWEETIE. he wants to go home. im gonna scream. something sometthing longing for the concept of somewhere that feel like home and not the actual building.

hey adam i know your two teenage boys allergic to emotional vulnerability but can we mayhaps have a productive conversation with gansey. Consider. communication.

hey adam? what the fuck are you doing?

frankly hilarious how quick all three of these boys just accepted having a ghost around.

ADAM PARRISH YOU ARE NOT THIS STUPID. WELL I GUESS YOU ARE.

ew not artemus. disgusting.

so wait does the forest bend to wishes???

ADAM IF YOU GET HURT I SWEAR TO GOD ADAM

“I sacrifice myself” THE SCREAM I JUST MADE.

every option for why Noah needed to make sure Blue told his mom he was sorry is awful in every way and Im not sure i want to know.

Ronan Lynch the fuck do you MEAN “you took chainsaw out of your dreams”.

Ronan go sit in time out. I need to think about Noah Czerny and sob on the ground for approximately a week.

Lark Liveblogs Literature: The Raven Boys

okay so originally i was tweeting about my escapades but then i remembered i straight up have a tumblr post series of just. doing this. so hi!

first impressions; crazy that i didn’t know there was a woman in this series considering she’s the main character. I cant decide of that’s the fandoms fault or if I built this feed brick by brick. Probably a mix of both.

also. keep misreading gansey as gamsey. thanks, andrew hussie (with contempt)

i’ll be reblogging with more thoughts as i have them for more fun.

[seirclys]

How the MLs were originally designed for Penelope's routes

@i-wanna-be-an-author answered an ask and I reblogged. And then I decided to separate my reblog into another post bc it was getting dangerously close to "research paper/analysis" length.

For a bit of context, they talked about JBE's post about how it doesn't make sense for Yvonne and Penelope to share MLs, given that the MLs killed Penelope multiple times. I propose that these MLs were actually meant for Penelope in the beginning, but Laila's brainwashing ruined it, as well as the curse on her. I'll also give short reasoning as to why some routes wouldn't work with Siyeon.

Derrick and Reynold would've been the tentative family healing path, where Penelope's circumstances improve and she begins to deal with her family issues and trauma. The two brothers would come to terms with Yvonne's death, introspect about their past abuse(after several wake-up calls), and how it ruined Penelope's life. Derrick needs counseling and to think about the implications of being physically attracted to someone 6-7 years younger than him(when he was 18 and she was 12), who was brought in because of her close resemblance to his biological sister.

This route wouldn't have worked with Siyeon(to some extent) because she herself gave up on her family in Korea, cutting ties with them. Reynold tried and defended her, which was how he managed to scrape by with an ok relationship with her. Derrick, on the other hand... well, he needs therapy.

Callisto would've been the route where Penelope was able to escape her circumstances through the hierarchy system. Callisto and Penelope would've been able to bond over their family trauma, deal with their issues, and be a pillar of support for each other. The position of Empress would've shielded her from any insults/pranks against her. They are, after all, intimately aware of each other's circumstances: The Imperial Ruffian/Crazy Bastard of Eorka and the Mad Dog of Eckhart/The Duke's Fake Daughter/The Chimpanzee with the Crossbow.

This is probably why Siyeon and Callisto end up together; Siyeon has similar trauma with Penelope, being a mirror of her circumstances.

Winter would've been a bit similar to Callisto, in that Penelope is able to escape her circumstances through the nobility system. Given that Penelope was an orphan from the streets, and Winter is known to take care of orphans, they could've bonded over that. His pristine reputation would've softened most of the attacks against Penelope. If he sensed magic in her later on, he could've taught her to control it, so that she didn't lash out and accidentally hurt someone with it. Anyways, Penelope needed a person who was gentle with her and helped her work through trauma, and maybe they'd deal with Winter's trust issues along the way. Penelope could've also bonded with the children under Winter's care, regardless if they had magic or not. Another thing: in this route, they might've been able to do something about Penelope's curse from the Laila. After all, Winter is highly proficient in magic and researched the ancient wizards/Laila a lot.

This route wouldn't have worked with Siyeon, because of her constant state of survival. Like in the manhwa, she would've deemed him too problematic to establish a closer relationship with. His trust issues were too much for her.

Eckles. I'll admit I hate on him a bit, but to be honest, it's kind of petered out to be lighthearted at this point. I don't really feel hatred for him as a character: like he did some fucked up shit in the novel that I'm not going to disclose, but in the end, it's my hobby to analyze characters and to see if they can be painted in grey. Given his status as Penelope's personal guard and a slave, Eckles would've been seen as a kindred spirit to Penelope. Both had low statuses at some point in their lives and are now in a hostile environment where everyone degrades them. With Penelope's childish nature and "immaturity"(how mature can a 17-year-old be when she's in a toxic af environment for 6 years of her life, with no one to help her rise to the expectations they had of her as a noble lady), Eckles could've served as a voice of reason, or helped untangle some of that trauma. I don't know. (To be honest, I should be analyzing Eckles more: It's more fun to try to analyze a character you don't really like objectively)Given their relative age and trauma, Eckles could've been a romantic or platonic relationship for her. Though hopefully, he wouldn't go neck-deep into the "obsessive yandere who'd be content with their target of desire's body" type of deep end. Again, something I mentioned was how stupid the idea of "Eckles and Penelope running away" was: if only because the duchy can't make their minds about her, and they'll think that he forcibly kidnapped Penelope.

This, I think, wouldn't work for Siyeon. She needed someone to fulfill her objective of leaving the game, and Eckles was more in love with her mask than her actual self. Both of them were using each other, with Siyeon focused on her own survival and herself, pushing Eckles away and giving him mixed signals and whiplash.

[swtki]

HP Boys: Surprise Pregnancy Head Cannons

Summary: The HP boys and their reaction to their s/o (afab) being pregnant when its not planned.

A/N: This takes place post Hogwarts so all characters are 18+, though no real smut happens in this so its not an 18+ fic.

WARNINGS: UNPLANNED PREGNANCY, MENTIONS OF PRO CHOICE OPINIONS, MENTIONS OF SEX IN LITE TERMS, SWEARING, FLUFF, MENTIONS OF ALCOHOL, ALSO THIS IS SUPER LONG SORRY LOL

Draco

So everything is going great for the happy couple, you two just moved into a flat together and are working normal jobs, drinking wine like adults.

And sure, Draco knows he wants to marry you, but he knows you’re not ready to settle down like that so he just plans and dreams.

Due to poor choices, when you’re late by two weeks, you know what it probably is.

Draco doesn’t even notice that you ran out to the store and came back and hid in the bathroom for 10 minutes. CEO of minding his own business ig

You just kinda...walk up to him and hand him all 3 tests while your eyes fill with tears because what if he demands you get an abortion?

Or what if he fucks off to god knows where?

But instead he just looks at you with the most un-draco like smile. Like his face was soft and it looked like he could cry any moment.

“Oh my god,” He says, putting his hand on your belly, “I can be ready for this, but if you aren’t then we can you know...”

“No, I want it” then both of you rejoice bc yay baby!

Cut to 6 months later when your feet hurt so bad you have to lay down and watch while Draco fails to put a crib together.

He eventually gets it done tho.

And when the time comes, he’s built and arranged everything for your bundle of joy.

Harry

So you guys are probably already married, but with everything at the ministry going on, it makes Harry less than a family man.

You both agree that it’s probably better to wait so you can be home and yk...raise it.

Well smart man Harry forgets that to not have a kid you need to use protection.

So of course when your period is late you don’t think about it, until its four weeks late.

That night, you and Harry are laying in bed, and thats when you tell him.

“Harry..I’m late.”

“Late for what?” headass.

You: 😳😐

Him: 👁👁😲😲

He’s hesitant to say anything, because he knows its ultimitley up to you what happens with it until its out.

“I think I want to keep it...you know it wont remember much for the first year and a half so if things are stressful it will be okay and-“

“Love...Its going to be perfect”

Mf built the crib in like 45 minutes I swear.

And of course he forced you to keep up with your vitamins, pre natal care, and appointments.

Swear tho you’re about to kill him because cofFeE

But the way he holds your baby 🥺 its his most valued thing ever now.

Ron

Ron is iffy on the kid thing sometimes.

He does want them, but only later when you guys have lived and travled.

So no, you two haven’t planned nor is it even in the picture when your wedding roles around.

It’s in the early days of the marriage when you see his family at the burrow on the way back from the honeymoon.

And of course Molly knows

Because Weasleys are hyperfertile I swear.

She takes you into the kitchen and puts her hands on your arms, shes got that big Mrs.Weasley smile on too.

“I knew it!” She says and pulls you in for a hug, “How far dear??”

You’re just standing there like🧍🏻

“I can see it by the way you glow! Oh my you and my Ron must be so happy!” This woman doesn’t notice that you’re confused.

“Wait what? Mrs. Weasley what are you-?” Then you count the days, “Oh. Well I guess I just found out for myself”

Her face falls slightly, but then she tells you can make you a potion that will tell you if you are or not, stan.

The stupid potion turns green when you spit into it, so everything is confirmed.

That night, you and Ron are getting ready for bed in the guest room and you decide to tell him.

“Ron, sweetie. We need to talk.” He looks like he’s gonna start crying but sits next to you on the bed.

“Y/N...I know its scary but please, we just got married I don’t want to divorce quite just yet 🥺🥺”

“Ron I-“ you start smiling, “I’m pregnant you dufus.”

He just freezes, for a while. Not saying anything, he just looks at the wall with his mouth ajar.

So you get up and go to Ginny.

“Gin, I broke him.”

“Ew, I don’t want to know about how you and him”

“No, I told him that I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, yeah that would do it. Just I don’t know... Give him a minute?”

You give him several, getting a glass of water then heading back up to the room.

Ginny was right, he needed a minute.

“I don’t...I wasn’t...you were.?”

“You don’t have to stay, but I think we can do it. Plus, you would disapoint your mom if you left so...”

“Okay...we’ll do it. I’ll be the best damn Father you have ever seen.” He says, talking to your womb.

Well...he’s a father I’ll give him that.

Pro of having a Weasley baby: free crib thats already put together.

Even if it looks like a death trap.

“We’ll put some blankets over it don’t worry”

You know how some Dads hold their parters hand during the delivery? Yeah he got sick and was moral support from the outside.

To be fair, you weren’t screaming in pleasure by any means.

Scary. But beautiful.

He shows the kid to everyone, he might be more in love with the baby than he is with you.

Ron see’s the appeal of having kids now.

Neville

Moving in with your boyfriend is always fun, right up until you guys go at it so much you forget protection more than once.

You think about it, then move on with your day.

Until the doctor calls, then “oh fuck”

Romance Neville bf

“Why aren’t you having any wine? I thought it was your favorite?”

“I don’t think fetal alcohol syndrome is my favorite.” BRO HE SPAT

But he looks up with tears in his eyes, and runs over to you to grasp you in a hug.

“Oh my god! You’re pregnant! Oh my - We’re gonna be parents!! Oh my god we’re gonna be parents oh-“ Que you petting his hair till he’s calm again.

Lets be honest, this man probably swapped the herbology books for the parenting guides.

“Well I mean I’m just wondering if we should go with this color or this one”

“Nev, it doesn’t matter. Our baby will not care.”

“I read in my book that Infants actually can recognize mood in-“

He won’t let you do anything during your pregnancy.

Gotta love a man who cries because he loves you so much and you’re having his kid.

“I never had a father, what if I do it wrong? What if the baby hates me and runs away at seven?”

“We’ve got quite a lot of time before then.”

He was there during delivery, letting you crush his hand like a champ.

You can’t help but cry when you see him sleeping on the floor next to the crib, its so sweet.

Fred

You two most likely already had two kids, so you decided to wait a bit so your hands weren’t quite full.

Well...your body decided not to wait.

A test provides the two lines, another wild child.

The two toddlers already run around like thing one and thing two, only with red hair.

I think Fred would gladly make the family dinner, and wear an apron. He’d own it, as he should.

But mf gotta not drop the salad bowl when you tell him of the fetus inside you.

“Fred we are going to have a bee-ay-bee-why.”

Your five year old has just begun to spell 😐

He’s happy tho.

Like over the fuckin moon.

He buys the two kids big brother/sister shirts too 🥺🥺

He knows the drill pretty well, so he isn’t too worried about the future.

But its funny that he still freaks out about the crib and feeding chair since he gave it away, you know because you guys werent having another kid.

He packed a hospital bag and kept it in the trunk, counting down the days.

Hours of delivery (He just sat back and held your hand) only to end up with a room full of 7 Weasley family members.

Fred always said that 3 was his lucky number :)

George

You guys were taking it slow, no marriage until you both felt it was time. And certainly no children before that.

Well you know...things changed when the test was positive.

You slid it over on the table, tears pooling in your eyes. He was stunned and quiet, which made you burst out sobbing because you knew that neither of you planned on having a baby.

But to your surprise he starts to smile.

“I want whatever you want, I’m staying by your side no matter what.”

“I mean...would it really be so bad? A house, a kid, a dog?” He holds your hand as you think aloud.

You both give it a week to think it over and the virdict is to keep it.

Thats when he decides he has to marry you, asap because he loves you and will never let you go especially now.

He loves to gush about the carrier of his child, to him you are a godess.

He’s the Dad with a predestination complex.

“Y/N, I just see him being a star quiditch player”

“George, we don’t know if it’s a him.”

He rolls his eyes “Okay then I can see her being a star-“

He made Hermione take you out for a movie date so he could rearrange your bedroom, since you only had a single bedroom flat.

You come back to a new set up including a cot.

Damn pregnancy hormones make brain go 🥺😭😭

He freaks when your water breaks lol

ceo of driving like a maniac to the hospital.

He can’t hold your hand, he’s pacing back and forth, sweating and maybe crying though he’ll never admit to it.

You get the joy of watching him cuddle the baby while refusing to give your child to you.

“George I’d like to hold-“

“No, you need your sleep honey, don’t worry”

Hogging the child.

Cedric

Its no secret that Cedric wants a baby someday.

And he makes it clear your wedding will be spectacular too.

However, finding out you’re pregnant the week of your dream wedding was a shock.

A shock that made you bang your head into the wall because how could you be so stupid?? We had a plan??

So you decide to wait until after the wedding, that way it wont add onto the stress (happy stress) of the wedding.

Cedric keeps trying to fill your glass at the reception, to which you kindly refuse saying you want to remember the night entirely.

Yeah he’s like 🤨 mhm okay.

You can only pick at the dinner because ew salmon doesn’t sound like an option if you want to keep the contents of your stomach.

As everyone waves goodbye to the car, and you both set off into married life, he leans over.

“I may be out of my mind, but are you...?”

“Pregnant.” His face lights up, pulling you into a hug.

Finally, your car pulls up to a small cottage with lush garden scapes all around, putting a hand out, he walks you both from the car to the door.

“Ced, where are we?”

“Home.”

Somehow it was perfect with Cedric, even when it was rushed.

He loved talking to your womb, even if it was weird that he was talking about the babies future brothers and sisters.

“Cedric, slow down. We haven’t even had this one yet”

Basically he is father of the year before he’s a full father.

He’s there while you deliver, holding your hand and telling you how great you’re doing.

He doesn’t even complain when you insult him <3.

He updates you on everything.

If his eyes aren’t on that child, he’s either asleep or dead.

I think Cedric was meant to be a family man, because he loves everything about being one.

Taglist: @truly-insatiable @amourtentiaa @imdoingathingmom @annasdani @anchoeritic @mullthingsoverinthehotwater @cedricsyellowscarf @faeinorbit

[chit-a-to]

The thing that gets me is that Sunrise CLEARLY has an idea of what makes a good father (Papayasha my beloved), and yet they CHOSE to make YH Sesshomaru the worst possible father ever, on top of being a groomer!

YH Sess literally does absolutely fucking NOTHING for his daughters, and in fact deliberately puts them in dangerous situations with no regard for their safety or well-being! 99% of the time he's off doing absolutely nothing with that infuriating blank stare when he clearly has had the means and capability for 14 YEARS to help his kids out and be there for them, but he doesn't.

InuYasha physically could not reach his child through no fault of his own for 14 years, and yet the SECOND he had his daughter back, he immediately took on the role of being a supportive, encouraging, loving, and affectionate father. He didn't come up with half-assed excuses for being gone like that whole "Rite of Courage" nonsense, he didn't act like his daughter needed to prove anything to him, and he let his child know right off the bat that she was loved, thought about, and deeply missed.

You almost wouldn't think Sesshomaru was Sunrise and Sumisawa's "favorite character" like he supposedly is with how they make him such a fucking deadbeat dad.

And yet InuYasha, who Sumisawa apparently doesn't like, is literally the best father in this dumpster fire and beats Sesshomaru a thousand times over in that regard.

Makes my almost wonder if they had to get different writers, some who are ACTUALLY PARENTS, to write out InuYasha's interactions w/ Moroha for whatever reason. Maybe Sumisawa couldn't be bothered with InuYasha and his family since he's only concerned with his wonderbread twins and [REDACTED].

literally I was thinking along the same line, too!! Even though the credited writers, directors, and storyboard artists for each episodes where Inuyasha appears are different (you can check it out on wikipedia), but most of it have sumisawa as the writer. That's why it's so confusing because why did you make your supposedly most favorite character to have one of the worst characterization ever?

I know that it probably has something to do with his wanting to build the notion that full-demons act, think, and behave differently than half-demons because they don't have the kindness half-demons inherit from their human parents, and that's why they (full- demons) couldn't act so lovingly and tenderly to their own children. BUT he also directed the 4th movie of Inuyasha where it is shown that all full-demon parents are being so caring towards their children??? And he also worked on the 3rd movie which portrayed toga fighting off takemaru bcs he wanted to kill izayoi and inuyasha. It clearly shows that even sesshomaru's own father, the Great Dog General, strongest daiyokai, didn't leave his baby and spouse and will fight any enemies that got on his way. Why did he contradict his own works then??? 😭😭 Turns out selective memory isn't only possessed by raisins but also by their beloved script writer 🤣

That rite of courage or cowardice? total bullshit. That's some top level lazy as fuck writing. You want to tell me that he wants to trained his children how to be a skilled warrior with high level of survival by letting them to their own devices? With no helping hands?? That's no training, that's how a mf leave his child because he doesn't want them, he didn't plan on having one but his one night stand accidentally got pregnant! That's how it sounds like! maybe all that time he's staring at nothingness for 14 years is him longing for his freedom before he accidentally impregnated rin 👀

I'm sorry sir, Sumisawa, but your whatever plan on the plot of Hanyo no Yashahime? It doesn't work. Might as well do more research how to create a good characterization and a coherent storyline as well as analysis on your target market before you prematurely released an anime.

[endfght]

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delilah wayne & kinsey oliver: kins has tattoos,,, (i think) and piercings.... let delilah Do Them. idk anything about soa but delilah is in california?? in la?? if that means anything??? she would probably have a biker bf or smth i literally dont know shit about fuck but xo no one will replace mal ever but let them be besties. she also did hair?? so maybe she can do kinseys i literally do not know but i think that they could be Neat somehow.

riley mckendry & kinsey oliver: did kins develop a problem with her meds after they got out of the hospital or am i making that up??? bc if she needs someone to talk to,,,, she should go to anyone But riley unless she wants to meet hell priests and creatures from hell<3 no but actually if she needs to talk riley is There.

alexander duffy & kinsey oliver: stinky man. Stinky man that needs to Get Away from kins right now. he kind of sucks and is emotional (not like sweet emotional tho like angry emotional the Bad Kind). idk he's just like a Guy. if kins has any paranormal problems??? hes ur man for sure. hes going to flirt with her and im sorry theres going to be nothing that ic an do to stop it. she Is allowed to punch him in the face without warning. pepper spray is Also an option and he would deny it but it would not be the first time! anyway!

shiv roy & kinsey oliver: kinsey in succession when. i went on so much ab mal in succession and deleted it bc this is not the time rebecca. ANYWAY u need to tell me about kins in that World but even without knowing anything i think shiv,,, would love her (but maybe im just biased bc I Love Her). i could also throw out a younger shiv to be closer to kins maybe theyre in college or smth together?? atn had to have covered what happened to kins and mal right? like no shot a story like that Wasn't national. anyw.. yea Them.

colin graham & kinsey oliver: how. many times have we done the father/daughter trope before? who the hell actually cares bc i eat it up every damn time. we're granted one (1) tired apocalypse thread bc truly its what we do best but colin comin across kins n mal on their way home > him offering to guide them there since he has More Experience. him sayin yea sorry ur actually my kids now until further notice so sorry about that but yeah. he did have two daughters and he Will see those girls in kins and mal so get ready for that!! definitely would not be a lee/charlie/alice Dupe. colin is more Chill ok he was a park ranger hes just Vibing. plus he has a dog so like emotional support cuddles for kins or smth??? @graecland.

[hey-hamlet]

*slides in on socks* hey can we hear more abt that bnha cult au, the one where bc mido is quirkless and the cult town thinks hes better for it

So I’m probably going to be too lazy to actually write that as a full fic, so lemme go find my brainstorming and yeet it here for you all! Under a read more bc this is long and messy.

The whole fic takes place over either 1 or 1.5 months

Quirks = route of evil, those without powers are closest to the divine's intentions and anything subverting them from that should be expunged. Closer to normal you look = purer you are. Izuku is considered near gold standard excluding his green hair

2000 people in the town - 82 are quirkless (marked with a band - where? Wrist, neck or?)

Global quirkless pop = 20% but japan is 5%, much much lower in Izuku's generation, movement has been around since the dawn of quirks - infanticide

100 people statistically would make sense but rate of quirkless births vs quirkless people is very different as many die due to poor patient care

Some members of the town are the grieving parents of people who's quirkless children were killed as doctors didn't listen to them - some of the first people izuku meet

"Hizashi's family" Invite izuku over - they aren't related, it's part of a plot where they look at quirk records to invite the quirkless to join. Those who do not are disposed of in the woods.

The quirkless are treated like royalty, free food + other stuff

Anyone not on board is killed - settlement is new but buildings are old - the prior town was chased out/killed to make room for the cult. They used to meet in normal churches but quirkless supporting cults were cracked down on so they relocated into the woods by taking over a town

Start the fic w izuku getting off the train, Town is called Rishi, based the town off Nanmoku

Mum: Miyatani Haiyu Dad: Miyatani Juzou Daughter: Miyatani Kei

Need a very secretive, insular vibe - the place has no wifi, a church radio station and a townhall

Timeline

Arival Bakugo and Izuku take the train, Bakugo is there bc his mother told him to go: Inko was worried about sending Izuku off alone so she offered up bakugo to play guard dog. Bakugo is pissed. 

Bakugo will have a blow up about being there pretty early, izuku will try and soothe him which will only make him angrier. Is shinsou there? 

Shinsou is coming as well, but later > originally going to meet up w izuku for the first time (shitty foster parents) but wants to shield him from bakugo. Izuku just wants to sleep.

Golden band for the quirkless (ribbon?) “in our town we value good fashioned hard work so we like to give back to the quirkless, this little band lets everyone know the folks we should give a little more to”

Look around town, Izuku alone (shinsou there tomorrow >> all three staying at an inn)

Meet the family, bakugo pissed right off and they talk some smack about him while izuku flounders. “bet he’s got some flashy quirk, huh? Seems like the type. Makes me sick, thinkin they're better just cause they’re -”

Bakugo goes straight to his room to be a piss baby, izuku looks around. They are setting up for a festival. A group of kids teases another with a visible mutation, she cries, izuku tells the kids off and they scatter, she says some concerning stuff izuku is concerned. 

Izuku eats dinner w the family, they talk about how they think he’s gonna like it there, the little kid is cute.

Shinsou rolls into town, they go for a hike, its pretty chill - they have a picnic n shit they have dinner w the family 

Back to room (share one), izuku fiddling w the radio to find mic’s show, find the town’s own radio, they listen: something about  someone being brought into the fold, visitors in town to be treated kindly, a reminder of a church service that week “Hold fast to your faith, the world may slip a little further each day but we shall fight together to bring our faith outwards and bring purity back to the world” 

“Wow that was weird” “Wanna do some research?” “Fuck, sure.” 

They run into bakugo at breakfast, izuku mentions the show and bakugo kinda nods, “you heard it too?” “yeah. Fuckin weird” “We were gonna do some digging -” “Fuck off, I don’t need you two messing with my shit, I’ll look into myself.” “That was almost polite for Bakugo, huh?” 

Maybe timeskip to end of week? 

With the family, doing arts craft with the daughter. Shinso is sleeping off a migraine. They mention church vaguely in the background and Izuku tries to look like he's not listening in.

The daughter brings it up to izuku and the family chuckle and say he’s free to come if he wants but there is no need to rush him.

They eat lunch, the family kinda advertise the town to him, talk about the nice quirkless girl down the street his age, how rare it is for quirkless people to be born in this generation. Izuku vaguely thinks about how nice it would be to live there

Church that night, izuku looks in on shinsou to see he's still sleeping in the dark, goes to bakugo “look i know i’m sorry but they’re having church tonight and i know you were a little interested and i was gonna go anyway -” “I’m coming with because otherwise you’ll be useless.” They decide to sneak around to listen “I was kinda -” “yeah, sure” “wait but -” “oh fuck off, it rubbed me the wrong way too. The weirdos might talk different if they know we’re there.”

Bakugo throws a darker jacket at Izuku, he slips on a beanie and they head out into the woods, walking through to reach the back of the church. They wait 20 minutes after it was supposed to start and creep out, they listen in. 

“We will purge the impure our streets, we will stop this blight and, we will enact god's wrath and spare the pure, letting relieve the purity of the past. We will strike them down in his name, let them know we are his wolves let loose upon the blinded sheep.” 

Bakugo grabs izuku’s arm, they are both pale. They go to run, and a metal sheet falls down. The preacher goes quiet and someone a few people stand and the two of them book it as fast as they can.

They get back to the inn and have a minor freak out, they wake up shinso and they are like “oh shit, oh fuck.” they decide they need proof bc the pros will never listen to them, they become baby detectives 

Bakugo going off at izuku and having the shit scared out of him by a local, izuku steps in and the local backs down instantly, all smiles

One part of the story involves them running through the festival, changing clothes and masks as much as the can to escape the people chasing them.

The cult have a gas that is toxic to anyone with the quirk factor and intend to release it all across japan, starting with their own town. The climax of the story see’s Izuku going it alone through the facility, dead and dying bodies around him, looking out for any quirkless members that will stop him as he tries to find the locations of the canisters containing the gas. 

Aizawa and Nighteye are in the town as well, Bakugo and Shinsou run to them crying ab how Izuku is all alone and they think he’s going to die and oh god they can’t even help him - 

The dumb comedy throughline in this AU is Aizawa and Nighteye have to fake having crushes on each other to explain why they are hanging out so much in secluded areas. They both hate this very much. 

Izuku, who recognized the two heroes On Sight, is having a minor crisis about them both being here and apparently getting handsy behind a 7/11.