#no shade on my little bro
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hey um this is a real fucking vent of a post maybe dont read if ur triggered easily by family/abuse stuff. I just had to get it out im sry. its not too coherent
I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him. my dad. one second we're having a normal conversation about art. then he's screaming at me to shut the fuck up, swearing at me, telling me how behind everyone else my age I am, telling me that I DON'T deserve respect or to be treated like a human, mock-bowing to me while laughing at me and saying that I think I'm sooooo important "like some kind of fucking princess" bc I said I don't deserve to be treated like I'm not human. yelling at me over and over to "shut my fucking mouth", saying that this is why I have no friends, why I lose every friendship I care about, and that he can throw me out right now if I keep "pushing it" and he won't care and there's nothing I can do about it. that I don't have real friends and can't name them. that I'm only acting how I am because I'm "on my period and a bit wacky".
....what sparked this? I said I wash underwear in hot water after I buy it, and that it didn't matter if that was "logical" or not bc I only buy new undies once every year or two. that's what sparked this whole thing. that and me saying "How dare you.I don't deserve to be treated this way." when he blew up. ...literally just yesterday he was saying how he's so proud of me and loves me. not even 24 hours ago he was saying that he could see how hard I'm working and that he understands if I need a break because I'm doing so well. ten MINUTES AGO we were talking about art, looking at the bedsheet I'd ordered and he was complimenting my choices and saying he'd put me in charge of buying new sheets for the household soon. TEN MINUTES AGO. what HAPPENED.
...and I know he'll just go back to loving & respecting me after (insert length of time here) when he feels like it, and until then I'll be excluded from all family interactions, treated like a literal threat and monster at all times, called "my abuser" instead of "my daughter", and forced to hide. ...and then I'll be his Amazing Smart Hardworking Daughter again, unless I bring ANY of this up in which case it will go from Bad to Worst and I am now "THE abuser". this is how it goes. this is how it's gone for a decade. why do I always forget this part when things are good. Even if I write it down or record it (THAT WAS A BAD IDEA HE GOT SO PISSED) it feels...fake??? like it just doesn't exist. I am fully aware that this is gaslighting.
I am fully aware that he does this and simultaneously presents himself to the community as an example of RECOVERY from abuse and has CONSIDERED BECOMING A THERAPIST. I don't have shit on him bc I have nowhere else to go, and I'm not in physical danger. staying here until I can get into college and/or get a job IS my best bet, bc while this is traumatic and unpredictable he's fully all bark, no bite. the majority-ish of the time, things are good. He does house and support me despite having just lost his job (though I'm paying for a lot of the groceries- no job here either), and he's actually been really amazing & supportive this year in general... except when he does This.
and GOD does This suck
one day I'll figure out how to stealth-record on my phone... idk why. when things are Bad Like This i want some record to release to our community once I get independent, and blow this lie out of the water. Ik it's ungrateful but like... what the fuck dude
I'm really thankful for what he's doing for me
but what the fuck dude
why
it's going to mean NOTHING in a few hours/days. he's obviously letting out some internal thing that he has no idea how to channel appropriately and nobody else he can aim it at who wont fight back (except my little brother, who has never done anything wrong ever in his life and is ALWAYS dad's "son") (and the dog, who he sometimes threatens to scare until she pees if she's barking like a lunatic at the pizza guy or someone, but he's mostly-joking/ never actually does it because she's "the best dog in the world") (...I'm treated less human then the dog)
but its just so mean
(also obviously if i even raise my voice/tone a TINY BIT at him, or say a word in a way that he percieves as mildy passive-aggresive, that's a trigger for things to go from Good to Bad unless I immediately literally grovel.
...if you want to uhhhh please send funny videos, art DIYS, animals, mythology, the worst most cursed music and/or mashups you know. I could rly use it rn. just rec me something. anything. (not fanfic tho- I'm currently writing my college application essay on fandom's role in modern folklore, so for once I Do Not Want To Hear/Read Any More About It)
#no shade on my little bro#he's 18 now and sometimes I wish he'd stand up for me but he's a great kid#wouldnt wish dad's crap on him anyway#we have nothing in common and no sibling relationship. he kind of has the personality of a saltine cracker dipped in monster energy#but he's a damn good guitarist and a good person#no shade on my puppy either#she is the best dog in the world (in the way that most owners say their dogs are)#though she is a little thief with bad breath who climbs the counter like a climbing wall to steal unattended breakfasts(affectionate)#STRAIGHT UP NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME#shit like this is why im deancoded/srs#me: yesterday was perfect. i never have good days omg??? this is definitely going to turn awful when the other shoe drops#today: the other shoe has dropped and it's only 6:30 am#tw toxic family#tw verbal abuse#rant#vent#tw family abuse#tw abuse#tw toxic parents#longpost#tw ableism#bitch WHY????#fairly literal crytyping
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old dazai lighting practice i found in my drafts that i have no intention of finishing so u guys can have it
#bro this is so fucking old u can tell bc i had no idea how to draw hands💀💀😭#still looks ok tho i think. i genuinely had no idea where the light source was while i was doing this#btw this was my attempt at painting if u guys were wondering if i only knew how to do cell shading😍😍 ur incorrect! i can render!! (poorly)#october me was a different artist forreal#also ignore that little doodle off to the side i was testing out a pen#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#osamu dazai#dazai osamu#lotus draws
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“I let him die / Taking your advice”
#Hey fam is this anything#Edit: someone compared this to the Red string of fate and I’m dead. they’ve killed me.#spies are forever#saf#we'll collectively pretend the blood pouring from one hand to the other does not look weird at all#Okay but cHRIST i fully colored and recolored curt so many times#and I still don’t think I’m happy with him lol#I think it’s because I really can’t shade clothes no matter how hard I pretended to#also I always forget my freebie art program hates big canvases and pixelates the colors really weird when I blur so#sorry if u see any of that bs#owen carvour#agent curt mega#Curt mega#blood#???????#fanart#tcb#tin can bros#I think next time I draw him I’m gonna attempt to make him look a little less like Joey#if I even can#digital art#art#digital drawing
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how long does it take you to draw your sketches/doodles? also do you have any tips to draw faster? 🙇♀️
I generally take 30 - 60 minutes a sketch,,,, but honestly really depends on how detailed it is.
Like a Chibi will be done in 20 - 25 minutes (Counting in the extra time I spend on minute details like a perfectionist 😭)
I for some reason really like spending egregious amounts of time on random objects too??? Unless it’s the in the background, I’ll spend 40 minutes refining it.
Random characters that are fully colored and rendered with take like 80 minutes.
The comics take usually take an hour or two per page. (If I decide to cross hatch it, my entire day will be gone with 4 pages… so I’ve been trying to find shortcuts. But not without sacrificing the quality for time lol)
I don’t think there’s any trick or magic to drawing faster. It’s really about weaponizing your artistic knowledge, and finding what’s comfortable or convenient for you!
There was a period of time where I would spend 11 or 12 hours on an illustration, and it wASS UGLYYYYY. (Some of these artworks are still available on my tumblr,,, but it’s SO LONG AGO, AND IT WAS MY 1ST OR 2ND YEAR GETTING INTO DIGITAL ART)
Overtime I learned what worked best for me, and practiced till I felt more comfortable with what I was drawing. Eventually I managed to shorten the time to 4 hours or less! Ambition was my biggest enemy but at the same time my biggest motivator. (And it still is LMFAO) 😭
EDIT (bit more to my way too long tangent): ALSO??? BRO DON’T BE AFRAID TO USE YOUR MESSY SKETCH AS LINEART OR DRAW ON TOP OF IT. I’VE DONE IT FOR YEARS NOW AND IT ADDS SUCH A GOOD EXTRA BIT OF TEXTURE,, AT THIS POINT I DON’T EVEN USE LINE-ART ANY MORE UNLESS IT’S A COMMISSION,, (IT’LL ADD LIKE AN 2-4 HOURS TO MY WORK)
#mushyrt#asks#that word minute bothers me so much#I look at it and want to refer to it as the time minute#this sketch took about 3 minutes when it should’ve been 1 minute#BUT I WAS SO HYPERFIXATED ON THE EYESSS#i say these pretty words#but THE REAL TIP IS HONESTLY THE LASSO TOOL#LASSO TOOL IS THE BEST#IT’S MY FAVORITE TOOL FOR MAKING BACKGROUNDS OR QUICK SHADING OR COLORING#OR ALSO THE MASK TOOL#TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THEM#THEY’RE SO GOOD#Procreate mask tool kinda sucksss#SO USE ALPHA LOCK IF YOU ARE A CONFIDENT PERSON#OR NOT AFRAID TO F**K UP#Bro I sometimes draw on 1 layer and use alpha lock and my friends look at me like I’m a menace#BUT IT!S USEFULLLL AND SO EASY#This little tangent definitely should’ve been my answer for the ‘how much do you draw’ question#but I’ve been thinking about it for a long time#AND I’M A MANIAC WHEN IT COMES TO DRAWING 😭😭#even if you rob me of a paper or pencil I WILL FIND A WAY TO DRAW#I WILL SCRATCH INTO YOUR SHIRT AND ROCKS AND MAKE AN ARTWORK OUT OF WATER OR CAT FUR#YOU WILL NOT DEPRIVE ME OF MY CREATIVE ENDEAVORS#This didn’t stick out to me until one of my friends said ‘omg ofc she’s drawing’ under her breath#like I spend every second of free time I have drawing unless I find something else interesting#The only time I’m not drawing is when I’m on the toilet or doing random everyday stuff#I forgot to talk about this but greyscale to color is insanely useful too; it teaches you different values while also being super fast#i tend to use greyscale to color when I do a BW sketch I end up liking#TL;DR - Lasso Tool + Layer Mask + Alpha Lock + Sketch as lineart
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too lazy to color but not too lazy to shade. how the fuck does that work
#they're playing smash bros#n mains kirby#uzi mains ridley#they started with 3 stocks#currently uzi is at 1 and n is at 5#somehow#dont ask me#anyways i think my shading has gotten somewhat better#was not intentional but now the comically large switch controller is a reference to That One#still a little unhappy with how i draw them so i will continue to restylize and restylize until im happy with them#art#artwork#murder drones#murder drones n#serial designation n#murder drones uzi#murder drones skig#v was also playing but she lost half an hour ago and has broken 3 controllers#dont question where they got the couch either
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(Read left to right :3c)
A one page manga inspired comic based in my strange little cursed Vs bros Au.
Here’s a link https://www.tumblr.com/loopyarts/742616149713354752/my-version-of-what-if-somehow-sanji-got-cursed-or?source=share to the original post for more context on this little Au of mine.
He he even as de-aged little guy with kinda amnesia. Ichiji inner most likely very buried deep within his heart big brother instincts are still kicking in despite well him not using them very much as a wee lad.
#one piece#vinsmoke ichiji#one piece sanji#black leg sanji#fan comic#vinsmoke brothers#manga inspired comic#Cursed VS bros au#Ichiji#Ichiji is a very shape cookie indeed I wonder how he figured out that this Sanji is his little brother Sanji#I’m really happy with how shading turned out in this comic especially it was first time really trying my hand in doing this type of shading#my art#Yes I know I did the panelling backwards despite being a manga inspired comic but all well I’m not changing it now
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if i ever stop drawing mom and bro as the strength card, just assume i died
#i was gonna add flowers but forgot#oh well lol#mom lalonde#bro strider#yeah i tagged it for once in my life sigh#homestuck#new art tag#i did not shade it and do not want to lalalala cannot hear you#first time i've drawn them without reference so i feel a little ???? about it but#i think they look okay lol#listen to king by florence + the machine for bonus points with me ur beloved friend novie
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Saw this template and thought of them
@sily-string
#utmv#nightmare sans#sans au#horror sans#dust sans#killer sans#error sans#cross sans#dreamtale#xtale cross#I can't stop laughing at Error's face#It's too funny#Shout out to my little bro for doing some shading and changing the colors a bit
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waffle bandana <3
#cranart.png#grian#BRO I FORGOT HOW TO SHADE HAIR WHILE I WAS DRAWING THIS#im slowly forgetting art skills help#watched a new streamwer yesterday who gave me inspo to try doing background again#shoutout to dan#grian fanart#hermitcraft fanart#mlp#my little pony#hermitcraft
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:grabs a megaphone:
THE CUPBROS WOULD TOTES DRESS UP AS KING DICE & THE DEVIL FOR HALLOWEEN AS A JOKE AND AS SOON AS DEVILDICE SAW IT, THEY’D 100% DRESS UP AS THE CUPBROS FOR HALLOWEEN THEMSELVES
:turns off megaphone: siri send tweet
#like#im imagining the cupbros coming in#mugs dressed up as king dice in the most SCARILY accurate halloween costume dice’s ever seen of him#you KNOW that boi was obsessing and staring at kingsley for *weeks* trying to get *every#little#detail.* of that outfit as accurate as they could make it#and cuphead having to be talked down by mugman NOT to just walk into the casino naked on the 31st w only black undies & bodypaint on as-#-a defense for all of the crew’s poor bleach-needing eyes#he gives in on the naked costume approach. eventually#(mugs only manages to talk him into an actual COSTUME when they prepose dressing up daisy as one of dice’s cards#or one of devil’s imps. either one)#instead cuphead sews together an entire fucking ESEMBLE of an outfit#im talking flowing red cape black leather jacket black denim pants#full badass set up#all of it either black or some v dark or ALTERNATIVELY very *bright* shade of red#& im imagining this w my humanised!hc animi designs#so they got longass ears & tails themselves even if not demonic ones like devil does#so cuphead just puts on a fucking self-made tail warmer paints it black & BOOM#devil costume sorted minus the horns#which take mugman *so long* to find (and steal and adjust to make them actually accurate)#for cuphead#and then devil & dice see them once they come into work on the 31st and they have the craziest costumes of all the crew by FAR#and then dice goes ‘’hey darlin’ ive got an ideaaaaa’’#and within ten minutes (it takes that long for dice to describe the costumes hes got in mind)#they’re both dressed up as cuphead & mugman. dice’s mugman; devil’s cuphead#ANYGAYS SAFE TO SAY THAT THE ‘BROS’ FIRST HALLOWEEN AT THE CASINO IS *WILD*#screaming incoherently into the void of tumblr#x’s writing#casino cups#cuphead headcanon
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ok I love Malevolent so much and all the art I see for it is absolutely fucking phenomenal, however I do have to speak my truth and throw in my two hater cents because Arthur Lester, widower who had a midlife crisis after his entire child died and then went headfirst into detective work for fucking years, is not a scrawny 20 year old twink. Some of you are drawing bill cipher😭
#ABSOLUTELY NO SHADE TO ANYONE IN PARTICULAR BTW!!!!!!#i just. man. i have yet to see an arthur that has some fat on his bones and bro where is he 😭#where is my mean disabled man 😭why do so many fics specifically talk abt how skinny he is at length#again not hating on anyone in particular it's just a little annoying to see the trend of ppl immediately skinny-ifying a protag#like. do you feel u have to do that bc you find his voice attractive?#where are his eyebags and wrinkles btw this man has slept naught but once in like a month and that was the coma#malevolent#mossy speaks#mossy probably swings a bat at a hornets nest but i must speak my truth
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Peter Parker if he got bit by a radioactive sword ☢️🟢⚔️
if I had a nickel for every time I made a Spider-Man au based off a video game, I'd have three nickels, which isn't a lot but it's concerning that it's happened three times. This au is the spidey/final fantasy vii mashup, where Peter becomes the Unreliable Narrator
anyway someone pretty please write this au for me <333 I'll pay you <3333333
bg variants under the cut
the BIGGEST dilemma(s) was figuring out if I should
A) keep the eyes in my art style (no colours, just the highlight), bc ngl it makes him seem more babey (pic 1),,, or
B) add the mako-glow to the eyes so i could be lore-accurate.... also I spent a lot of time!! on colouring in those pixels!!!!! dammit!!!!!!!!! (pic 2) and
C) OF COURSE i was struggling to choose between the white and red backgrounds!!!!! evil me!!!!!!! making difficult creative decisions!!!!!!
i will,,,, try to draw the other peeps as well (mj as tifa and gwen as aerith ,,, mmm yesss esysey yes ssss) but i fear the monkey brain has already died........ i will try tho,,,,,,,,,,
#finally. i drew the little freaky white boy after.... many many months of not drawing him#do you see the little spider :) it's. it's because he's spider-man!! (it's a very ugly spider i forgive you if you can't find it)#bro looks like a kpop idol im literally screaming#dance for us baby boy. honey bee inn that shit. crank that soulja boy. break it til ya make it#listen i have to draw peter in cloud's pretty blue dress sometime otherwise i WILL explode...........#anyway be like me and refuse to draw legs !!!!!! what are lower limbs!!!!???? who cares !!!!!! just run away when confronted by femurs!!!!!#you would not believe how long i had to stare at cloud's arms in order to make sense of them. why are his triceps so fucked up#many times i had to stop myself from jumping into my laptop screen and succumb to the fiery CPU death bc MY GOD....#i am SWEATING..... EURHG#also obviously new colouring/shading thing again.... ough...... consistent art style WHEN#what the fuck do i tag this as???#peter parker#spider man fanart#spider man#ffvii#final fantasy vii#agni and his many many au's number 39874#artoftheagni
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dragon danny!
#danny phantom#danny fenton#technically art i think#digital arwork#half shaded#gave up most of the way through but happy with the line art#just my fun little spin on the concept#dragon danny phantom#bro likes the telescope
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#zayle's art#homestuck#june egbert#tavros nitram#the goobers :>#eridan ampora#but i transed her gender#vriska serket#one was from when i was practicing shading#one when i was on my pokemon spree and tried to make teams for all the beta trolls#the other was when i got bored while at a summer camp w my sibling a while ago#dave strider#dirk strider#bro strider#yes it's based off of the little miss texas dave post#the others are oc's me and my friend made#yes their moiraills#homestuck fantroll#homestuck fanart#homestuck oc#zayle rambles
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#brown eyes are literally so beautiful i’m#look i wouldn’t say i have a type in people physical appearance wise but if theres one superficial feature#i’ve always been a sucker for#like since forever#and especially in recent times#😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫 brown eyes bro#not like my shade of brown i got the regular asian soulless black eyes (fine and all but not what i’m talking bout)#and ion mean amber (ok geralt of rivia)#just this specific shade that looks dark in low light but turns honey golden brown in sunlight yk#hazel brown??#auughhhhhhhhhh#i feel weak i wanna throw up and die#‘ass or tits?’ idk but fs i simp for brown eyes#i actually feel weak fr tho#im really hungry i’m craving some oreos and a glass of cold milk#but i feel too lazy to bike all the way to 7-11#too hungry to study#too weak to buy oreos#not allowed to sleep or god will strike me down for my sloth#i shall perish#[data redacted] called me to discuss midterms but i didn’t pick up cuz i told him we’d be on discord tmr#tonight i wanted to study alone#feel a little bad but whatever i don’t gotta keep making every exception for u#go talk to someone else bout computer architecture tonight#i’m tired#u can look at all girls u want bitch but u can’t get any of em. keep looking#i pull more girls than you#went bowling after today’s midterm. not so bad for my first time although#those things are heavy as fuck#i have a headache
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me and my wife: watching first episode of Physical: 100 wife: Wow, I'm not going to remember any of these names. me: yeah, there are way too many people being introduced at once. plus they're not actually translating the names on screen all the time so it's hard to track who is who wife: What? wife: No, I meant I'm too busy staring at their abs. me: ... me, still extremely asexual: yeah i guess that would do it too
#ace problems#jojofaceinspace#my wife watches for The Plot#i watch bc i find it funny when body builders think they're going to be anything but shit at general fitness tests#(no shade at body builders)#(.....little shade at body builders)#(look just bc you can lift bro doesn't mean you can run a marathon or do anything requiring agility is all i'm sayin')#it's like schadenfreude-watching knife or death except everyone is way more fucking polite
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