#the other was when i got bored while at a summer camp w my sibling a while ago

[nd-himbo]

[szopenhauer]

Think of a movie and now give me that movie title: random Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 

Quote a line from that movie:

Name a song: random MARUV & Boosin — I Want You 

What’s a line from that song? Baby turn me, turn me on All night long What’s the last word spelled backwords of that line? GNOL XD Whats the relationship between you and the last person you texted? my fiancee What would your name be if you replaced T’s with S’s & A’s with E’s? Zuzenne Would you ever legally change you name to that? nah Your boyfriend/girlfriend say they can’t hang out & it’s been two weeks. You? ok How often do you think about death? all the time Where were you when you had your first sleepover? Your house or a friends’? friend’s - P.W.

Are you hungry?: thirsty

What did you buy last time you went to the store?: food? bread not food? trinkets - for example - two books and a tiny stuffed dog

Do you think stained glass windows are pretty?: I don’t know tbh

Are you a chocoholic?: not at all

Have you ever been carded when buying something? : not even when I was buying cigarettes

Do you have a favorite highlighter color?: yellow

Do you have a flashlight?: I do

Do you like watermelon?: nah

Has anyone ever walked in on you while you were on the toilet?: obvi, many times but usually just family members

Do you like a lot of ice in your drinks?: noooo

Have you ever painted a room?: bathroom Have you ever petted a donkey? from what I remember

Out of all 24 hours, which one is your favourite? hmm... Have you ever been in a lighthouse? nope

What time are you planning on going to bed tonight? no idea Have you ever been bit by an animal? yeah Did it rain today? kinda What was the name of the last dog you pet? it was my dog - Łasuch Do you find that you have a certain meal you eat every time you go to certain restaurants? sure Are you constantly judging people? could say so Have you ever had anything stolen from you? sorta Which would you rather, a snowy day, sunny day, rainy day or cloudy day?: cloudy or sunny maybe rainy but definitely not snowy How long have you ever spent away from home? month? Has your luggage ever been lost at the airport? Did you get it back? - About how many times during the night do you wake up from your sleep? few Are there any air fresheners in your house? What kinds? no What scent of candle do you burn the most? we don’t For what reason did you last cry? ugh... What kind of surveys do you wish there were more of? deep

Last time you were attacked by an animal? this summer? Are you paranoid all the time or just during the night? more often during the day actually  Have you ever dated someone without knowing their name? last name, not first, I was a stupid kid and was dating a guy online once and several boys at camp just to show off somebody likes me that way even tho I wasn’t really interested nor knew anything about those matters

If you go to an all-you-can-eat buffet, how much do you really eat? a tiny bit If you need to ask a question in class do you raise your hand? of course How many times have you been engaged (if any at all)? once, currently Do you have to see something to really believe it? jak niewierny Tomasz - często Have you ever gotten so dehydrated that you passed out? I’m surprised that I didn’t :x If your friend was being cheated on, would you tell them? absolutely Do you always assume the worst? that me indeed Are you sick and tired of life? sadly Have you ever been busted for under age drinking? I wasn’t drinking underage, I still don’t drink  Do you have a picture of you and your lover kissing? 1 and a tik tok Have you witnessed a fight at school? bunch

What is your favorite time of day to run? when I’m late for the bus lmfao

When was the last time you talked to your mom? recently Do your parents crush your dreams? sometimes Did you sleep in today? I didn’t Do you hate sleeping in? I love sleeping in  How late do you consider too late to sleep in? noon, 11am is already late  How long have you had a smartphone? less than 5 years Do you keep lists of names that you like? even tho I don’t want kids :P Have you ever butt-dialed someone? it happened

First letter of the names of everyone you have kissed, like *that*; M.

Do you like going to school sports games? eww, boring Have you ever worn your boyfriend’s clothes? guy from camp gave me his cap for a day Have you ever stolen your sibling’s clothes? I had to wear them when she was growing up, gross Have you ever loved someone and HATED it? later? Do you like Starbucks or would you rather just have water or something? just water lol Have you ever walked into a door before? po maturze zapomniałam, że woźny zamknął drzwi, które się same otwierały i walnęłam w nie, raz przytrzepałam sie w futrynę bo za szybko skręciłam w nocy do pokoju, mama uderzyła mnie drzwiami jak byłam mała i stałam za blisko wejścia dzwoniąc do domu więc spadłam ze schodów, a ojciec stuknął mnie tymi dworcowymi przy wiadukcie i wylałam na siebie sok - to chyba wszystkie przypadki Do you know anyone who’s like, psycho-religious? fanatic? my uncle is one of those Have you ever been stuck on a ski lift? luckily never been there to begin with Do you know who Nancy Sinatra is? ain’t this the gal who sings “those boots were made for walking” or smth like that? Have you ever bought anything from an airport? I wasn’t there so... If I asked you who you were gonna marry a year ago, you would say; omg Do you snore, talk, sleepwalk, or drool? drool at times, sorry also roll/kick around and fart ^^” When you woke up this morning, what was your first thought? I was wondering why Nat fronted If you could start completely over knowing what you do now, would you? possibly

If you drink coffee, do you have a favorite flavor & brand? If so, what? not applicable Have you ever personally known a pair of Conjoined twins? woah What is your first thought when you see people kissing in public? "get a room” Would you ever consider being a professional stunt-person? I have no abilities/skills/health etc for that kind of job and it’s really sad actors get prizes for stunt-ppl’s work

How about a Mailman? my father was and that ruined his body so I doubt it (Besides Hello kitty) Do you have a favorite Sanrio character? If so, Who? Hello Kitty is evil Do you flinch when strangers touch you? don’t touch me! Can you remember the first time you went to a movie theater? I believe Is there something in particular you like to look at photos of? What is it? I have strange interests... Do you actually like the taste of Diet Soda? didn’t try and don’t plan to What brand of toliet paper do you normally use? I don’t give a shit ;) Do the Charmin bears make you feel uncomfortable? xD fact that they’re red makes me uneasy On average, how many cans of soda would you say you drink daily? zero Did/do you ever stick your chewed -up gum under tables? I spat it on grass when I was younger and had stuck it in my hair years before as well but every other gum I trashed properly Can you remember the last thing you watched on the news that upset you? that’s why I avoid news How do you feel about red lipstick, is it whorish? it’s my fav but I no longer use makeup What is your definition of feminism? fighting for equal rights between women and men like pay in workplaces Are you comfortable in shorts? am not So, have you watched that Bob’s Burgers show? Do you like it? fragments 

Do you ever get the feeling you dont belong? always Do you believe actions speak louder than words? good actors will use both ways to lie

If your friend tried to commit suicide infront of you how would you react? how, why, who, when etc. Ever had a rumour spread about you? plenty Have you ever tried to impress someone before? majority of my life and I hate myself for that If someone jumped on your back what would you do? die? If you had a child and they turned out just like you would you be happy? poor kid... If you could choose the gender of your child what gender would you choose? not that I want kids but girl

Name three people you want to meet in Heaven. from those who died or are alive rn?

What could be the theme song of your life? I was taking a quiz today and they gave me Kero Kero Bonito - I'd Rather Sleep

Do you have any embarrassing health issues? :( Who do you wish you could talk to? grandma and/or brother Do you lose or misplace things a lot? very rarely lose, misplace more often but still usually same item like my scissors What was the name of the street you grew up on (if you don’t live there now) I live here! Does it still feel like summer where you live? it’s too cold for that Do you have a Paypal account? I wish Have you ever had a brand or company reach out to you on Instagram? polyvore What is the last thing you purchased from Etsy? I have no bank account to be able to buy stuff there Do you sell on Etsy? I’d like to someday Do you have a favorite aunt, and if so, who is it? aunt Alice Who is your favorite cousin? no one Have you bought next year’s calendar yet? yup What year did/will you turn 30? 2022 What’s a food that you like, but it makes you feel sick? no comment Do you like the name Addison? sounds like a shoe Is there anything that you regret getting rid of? ... Have you ever stood up to a bully? couple of times Do you own striped tights? nude and transparent Have you ever made your own Halloween costume out of clothes from ur closet? yep When was the last time you received a hug? this day Do you have anyone who hugs you regularly? dad? Would you rather have the bottom bunk or top bunk? bottom Window seat or aisle seat? window, aisle if in church  Have you ever thrown up on an airplane? that’s one of the reasons I won’t fly Have you ever seen anyone else throw up on an airplane? that’s another... Have you ever gotten sick in the car? almost Do you still wear clothes from the children’s section? whoops you got me What color is your watch? I need to buy watch for Nat... What color was the last pair of flip-flops you wore? last time I was wearing flip flops was before middle school and they were pink I suppose Were you born in your favorite season? in the worst! Have you eaten oatmeal lately? regularly... Do you enjoy editing photos? if not a snapchat filter selfie then I prefer them “natural” What is your favorite app on your phone? Choices forever! lately I begun playing The arcana and it’s pretty good, Lisa downloaded Addams family mystery mansion or smth but it’s not that cool and I used to play the detective story which was awesome <3  Do you answer your phone every time it rings? hell no Do you like to decoupage things? scrapbooks/collages are way better How many tabs are open on your browser right now? 9 with this one but I forgot to close the background music 

How many times have you had sex within the past two years? Guesstimate? personal How many times in a month do you go to the movies? How much do you spend? not at all

When was the last time you heard thunder? Where were you at anyway? this month? home When was the last time you were in trouble with your parents? If so. it’s complicated Do you know anyone who claims to have the ability to see the future? I have dreams that come true and my parents do, also my gf When you go to the movies, do you actually watch the movies or not? ... what else would I do in the cinema? oh, you mean kiss and such? waste of money Do you love or loathe the Eurovision? I don’t mind it Have you ever wielded a sword? wanna try :D If you were famous would you want a statue or a building names after you? what for Can you erect a tent? hope I didn’t forgot How tall is the tallest person you know? didn’t ask Have you ever ridden a camel? might try What’s your opinion on rats? cute

[waltzofthewifi]

Kota Chapter 21: Threat

Beginning | Table of Contents | Next

Juleka knew not every pair of siblings were as close as she and Luka. Alya only seemed to mention her siblings when talking about babysitting duties, Nathaniel barely mentioned his sister at all, and Alix was still angry at Jalil over the whole "aliens built the pyramids" thing.

Still, it was hard to imagine having a sibling you didn't even tell your family about.

(Sure, her classmates were surprised that she had a brother too, but that was less of a didn't-talk-about-him and more of a didn't-talk-much-at-all situation.)

"Wait, doesn't that make him your uncle?" Rose asked. "Isn't that cool?"

"Totally. Why haven't you mentioned this before?"

"Well, you see, we had a little bit of a falling out," Anarcha explained. "We got in a fight and - anyways, I cut him off."

Luka frowned. "Was it because of..."

"Because of your dad?" Anarcha finished. "Yes. Jared has-"

"Jared?" Juleka questioned. "His real name is Jared?"

Anarcha nodded. "Jared Stone and Anna Couffaine." She smiled fondly. "We were wild as kids. There was this camp in New York we went to everyone summer - it's where he learned to play guitar - and people learned to fear us. When we were about, oh, fifteen, we started a rock band - Anarchy and Jagged Stone. And that's when I met your father."

Juleka nodded. She had heard that story before. Her father was in a band with her mom, and when they met, he was the coolest guy ever. He was seriously laid back while they were dating, and she liked him so much they eloped.

And then he changed, and ruined her life.

"Jared disliked him the moment they met," Anarcha said. "Said there was something like an aura around him. I didn't believe him. The night before we eloped, me and Jared had this big argument."

"He probably set it up," Luka noted.

"Who? Jared? He's not that smart."

"No, I mean Dad."

"That... does sound like him," Anarcha admitted. "I feel like all my friendships fell apart after we got married."

"If your argument was about dad, how come you never made up?" Juleka questioned.

Anarcha shrugged. "Don't have time. I have a houseboat to run, you two to look after - I can't just run after a teenage fantasy like that. Besides, Vivica deserves her chance in the spotlight."

"She is really cool," Juleka agreed.

"Not as cool as you two though," Anarcha countered. "Anyways, enough with the touchy feely stuff. We have a dinner to finish."

.

Mylene plopped on her bed and tucked her legs up underneath her. Ivan sat down next to her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her in close.

"Akumas suck," Mylene eventually said.

"At least we know that Ladybug and Chat Noir will always be around to help us," Ivan replied. "And their allies."

Mylene nodded, remembering her promise to Ladybug about keeping her identity secret. Still, she found herself unable not to ask.

"What do you think of Souris Rose?"

Ivan was quiet for a moment. "I don't know. Didn't really get a chance to see her."

"Everyone else seemed to like her," Mylene whispered.

"She did save us," Ivan replied. "And being a superhero must be rough. Having to keep a secret identity like that, even from the ones you love. I'm sure whoever that is would understand, of course."

Mylene nodded. Ivan and her parents would understand.

But on the other hand, Mylene felt more and more pressure to just talk. To tell someone, anyone, about what just happened.

She had just been given a miraculous, and now she found she couldn't pretend it never happened.

Mylene looked up at Ivan. "Do you want to know a secret?"

Ivan looked at her and Mylene leaned up to his ear.

"I'm Souris Rose."

"Do you want to know a secret?" Ivan replied.

Mylene nodded.

"I knew that the second I saw you."

.

Lacy opened the fridge for the third time that night, sighing when the contents hadn't changed.

"I'll be going to the store tomorrow," her father assured her. He was sitting at the table, reviewing a French online lesson.

"That doesn't help me now," Lacy complained, closing the door again. She was starving.

Or maybe just bored. Either way she wanted food.

Lacy sighed again, leaning her head against the refrigerator. Her eyes slid shut.

"Are you asleep?"

"Didn't sleep well last night," Lacy replied. "Stupid akumas." She yawned. "And then if that wasn't enough, I had to deal with Rocker interrupting dinner."

Sleep was one thing, but Lacy had a right to eat her dinner in peace.

Grabbing a bag of chips, she headed back to the table where she had her homework laid out in front of her.

Her father reached out and grabbed her hand. "Don't worry about your homework, Squabbie. Why don't you go to bed early?"

Lacy nodded. That made sense - and nothing was due tomorrow, anyways.

"Yeah, okay."

She cleaned her books up, making sure her bag was ready to grab when she no doubt overslept in the morning.

Lacy didn't bother to change in pajamas, but she did make sure to dig out her phone and plug it in. It was only then that she noticed two voicemails.

The first one was from Sadie. Lacy couldn't help but smile as her friend ranted on about an argument her and Carter had where Walt had taken Carter's side (horrible idea). Reconnecting with her was definitely a good choice.

Besides, it's not like she could really get mixed up in her life - they were on opposites sides of the ocean.

The second voicemail, to Lacy's surprise, was from Chloe, telling her to call her back as soon as possible.

Not seeing any reason not to, Lacy called back.

"Ugh, finally," Chloe said when she picked up the video call. She was standing in her room, hair down and messy, with her closet in the background. "Started to wonder if you actually had a life."

Lacy rolled her eyes. "I do. Did you need something?"

"Fashion advice," Chloe replied. "I thought I'd get Sabrina a present, since I'm trying to apologize to everyone and I did miss her birthday this year, but I can't decide which sweater to give her. And since you're the closest thing I have to a friend with an actually decent fashion sense, I thought I'd call you."

"Alright. So which two sweaters were you debating on?"

Chloe moved her phone to show Lacy the sweaters, and Lacy could see the dilemma. One was a really nice, designer-type sweater with intricate designs. The other was simpler, a little uglier, but looked a lot more like what Sabrina liked to wear - a purple and black striped sweater.

Lacy hesitated a moment - the first one was really cute - before telling Chloe to go with the second choice.

Chloe pursed her lips. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

"Always good to get a second opinion though," Lacy said. "I'm sure she'll love it."

"She should," Chloe said. "I've spent all afternoon picking it out for her." She flicked her hair.

Lacy chuckled.

"Anyways, I'll see you in school tomorrow," Chloe said.

"See you."

Just as Lacy hung up her phone, someone knocked on her window.

Please not another akuma.

Lacy pushed herself out of her comfy bed to let Ladybug in, brightening when she saw that, instead of her miraculous, she brought treats.

"As a thank you," Ladybug said, placing them on the table.

"You didn't have to," Lacy argued weakly. Those were from the Dupain Cheng bakery, and Lacy was plenty happy having them.

Ladybug seemed to recognize it. "It's no big deal. You were a great help last night - or this morning? - and you deserve some treats."

Lacy picked up one of the macaroons from the box, noticing that Ladybug had even guessed her favorite flavor.

"Favorite bakery, favorite flavor." Lacy stuffed one in her mouth. "You are good."

Ladybug laughed. "I'm glad you like them. I have to head back on patrol, but I'll see you around."

Lacy nodded, giving her a wave as she left back out through the window.

.

"- an eighty two percent chance that Kim will win," Max read off.

"Never tell me the odds," Alix quoted, punching her fist into her hands.

Lacy exchanged exasperated looks with Nathaniel, the two trotting behind their three friends as they headed down the steps to lunch.

"Max is right," Kim taunted. "You don't have a chance."

"Watch me." Alix turned and slid down the rest of the railing, nearly knocking into another student when she landed.

Max sighed and readjusted his glasses.

Around them, the courtyard was buzzing as students headed off to lunch - some heading out, others heading towards the cafeteria. The constant motion pulled at Lacy's attention.

Out of the corner of her eye, Lacy spotted a figure.

She frowned and tapped on Nathaniel's arm. "Hey, didn't you say Marc was eating with his classmates?"

"Yeah, why?"

Lacy gestured over to the corner of the courtyard, where Marc was sitting by himself.

Nathaniel frowned.

Lacy watched him a moment. It was hard to tell from a distance, but she had a feeling that he was not alright.

Nathaniel headed his way, and Lacy followed behind.

"Marc, are you okay?"

Marc startled, blinking at them in surprise.

"I'm fine," he said. "Why?"

Lacy wasn't convinced.

"You said you were hanging with your friends," Nathaniel explained.

"Oh." Marc looked back down at his sandwich. "That... didn't work out."

Lacy watched him for a moment. There was definitely something wrong, but if he didn't want to say...

"You don't have to tell us anything you don't want to," Lacy said. "But you don't look like you want to eat alone."

"Why don't you come to the park with us?" Nathaniel suggested.

Marc perked up. "That does sound a lot better than this."

"There you guys are." Alix came up behind them. "Oh, hey Marc. Are you joining us for lunch?"

Marc nodded as he started to repack his lunch.

"Sweet! Come on, Max and Kim are waiting for us."

Marc smiled as Nathaniel helped him stand up, and the four of them headed out.

Alix paused, glanced over her shoulder, and scowled.

Lacy followed her gaze to see Lila talking with a group of students she didn't recognize.

"She already has another class wrapped around her fingers," Alix complained. "Who knows what lies she's telling them."

"I wish the school had done more," Lacy admitted. "What she did was wrong - and hurtful. And now she's going to do the same to another class."

"I have half a mind to go up to her and tell them what happened," Alix said.

"I'd like to see that."

For a second, Alix looked like she was going to, but then Kim called out to her and she deflated. Shaking her head, Alix sprinted to catch up with the rest of her friends, Lacy right behind her.

Neither noticed that Lila was watching them, too.

.

Lacy splashed the cold water onto her palms, wincing as it burned. The girl using the sink next to her winced.

"You should get that checked out by the nurse."

Lacy shrugged. "It's fine."

It was her own fault, after all. If she hadn't tried to climb up on the back of the bench to get a photo, then she wouldn't have fallen and gotten her hands scraped. A little bit of nectar would heal it up quickly, but it was such a small injury Lacy didn't think it was worth it.

Satisfied that the wounds were clean, Lacy dabbed her hands clean and moved to fixing her hair. The door swung open as the other two girls left the bathroom, and someone else walked in. Lacy finished up her braid, tossed her hair over her shoulder, and turned to leave.

And ran right into Lila.

"Lila! I didn't see you there." Lacy stumbled backwards.

Lila smiled tightly. "Obviously."

Lacy blinked. Lila looked... well, like she always did - calculating, mean, and cold.

"Well... I should head to class-"

Lila moved fast, blocking Lacy on both sides with her arms and leaning in so her breath was on Lacy's face.

"No need to rush," Lila said. "After all, I feel like I haven't talked to you since I was suspended."

"Well, we don't really have much reason to talk," Lacy replied.

"Really? Because you seemed to have plenty to say about me," Lila said. "I saw you and Alix talking about me earlier. And don't think I forgot your little outburst last week. Convincing the class that I have magic?"

Lacy wilted backwards as Lila continued to encroach on her space.

"But you do," Lacy argued weakly.

"Maybe I do," Lila agreed. "Or maybe I'm just good at manipulating people. And I don't like it when people get in my way."

"At the moment, you're in my way," Lacy replied, forcing herself to stand back up straight. She nearly collided with Lila as she did so.

"Think I'm a problem now? You should see what I can do to you. After all, Miss Bustier seems to like me more."

Lacy flinched. That struck a chord.

"Yeah, that's right," Lila continued, pushing back into Lacy's space. "After all, which one of us has a record?"

"Wha- how did you know about that?"

"Let's just say I have my ways," Lila replied. Satisfied, she backed up and flicked her hair. "Stay out of my way."

And with that, she turned and walked out of the bathroom.

Lacy stayed, too shocked to move.

What had she gotten herself into?

Lila was right - if it came between her and Lacy, Bustier would easily believe Lila first, especially since she'd been trying to be extra sweet and forgiving of Lila now. It didn't matter if the class didn't believe Lila if she managed to get Lacy in trouble anyways, or even kicked out-

Lacy did not want to switch schools again.

The school bell rang, and Lacy noticed for the first time that she was crying. Shoot. She could not go to class like that - especially if Lila was there, and could see how much her threat was affecting her, and-

Breathe. She needed to breathe.

In.

Hold.

Out.

In.

Hold.

Out.

Lacy could almost feel the anxiety around her loosen.

In. Hold. Out.

Again. And again.

Lacy turned back to the sink and splashed cold water on her face. Her eyes were red-rimmed now, but hopefully no one would notice. Especially not Lila.

Lila.

She had just charmspeaked - well, not charmspeaked, it wasn't that strong, but there was magic involved. And that magic could sway Lacy to believe anything, especially when Lila hit that nerve about her past record. But that didn't mean she could follow through on her threat.

Sure, Bustier wasn't always fair, but she was kind and lenient - Lacy doubted she would jump to conclusions. And even if the worse happened and Lacy did get in trouble - even expelled! - she would survive. Reconnecting with her friends from Brooklyn gave her a support completely not reliant on what happened at school.

And no matter what happened, Lacy knew her dad would believe her.

She was fine.

Lacy took another deep breath, splashing her face with water again. She was fine, but she still needed to get to class.

Leaning down to grab her bag off the floor, Lacy noticed something black in the corner of her vision - like a small bat or a moth or -

Akuma.

Lacy shrieked.

She pushed herself up against the wall opposite the butterfly, breath caught in her throat. But the akuma didn't fly towards her, but instead slid through the crack over the door and out of the restroom.

That was too close.

Lacy realized the akuma must have been after her originally, while she had a panic attack, but she had managed to calm down just in time.

Way too close.

Lacy collapsed on the floor, and immediately regretted it when the action reminded her how gross the bathroom floor was. Ew.

She pushed herself back up, walking over to the sinks to wash her hands, and splash water over her face again. Her heart was still pounding in her chest, and part of her was tempted to call it a day and go home.

But that would make Lila a little too happy.

The sound of concrete crumbling, and Lacy just barely moved out of the way of a jagged piece of metal coming from the ceiling.

Right. Akuma.

Lacy darted from the bathroom, nearly body-slamming into someone as she did so, and ran out into the courtyard. Around her, more and more students were being pushed out by the pieces of metal.

"I am Lockesmith. I will find the person who stole from me and lock them up!"

Metal plates jolted up from the floor, causing students to scatter.

Lockesmith jumped down from the second floor, landing in a circle of metal. She had a black leather sleeveless top with three gold strips under her left arm, and black leather leggings. She wore a dark purple fanny-bag looking thing over her right leg, and black, knee-high boots. Her hair was bright gold, and hung in a loop over her neck.

All in all, she looked like a lock.

"Who stole from me?" She demanded. "Show yourself!"

Students scattered, but Lockesmith raised her metal slates around the edges of the courtyard, blocking everyone in.

Lacy pressed her back against a column, hoping to stay out of sight of the akuma.

Lockesmith prowled, looking each student in the eyes. She glanced over Lacy briefly before continuing on.

Lacy slumped in relief.

Lockesmith froze, mid-step, and looked up towards the second floor. "Ladyblogger, how kind of you to join us."

Lockesmith jerked her hands up, but whatever that accomplished was blocked from Lacy's view by the column.

Lacy did see when Alya was roughly pushed to the center of the courtyard.

"Making a report for Ladybug?" Lockesmith questioned.

Alya flinched, barely noticeable, before recovering her fearless expression. "Actually, no. I'm here on school blog business." She raised her phone. "I'm doing an article on why we need locks on our lockers."

To Lacy, Alya's lie seemed near perfect - no obvious tells, except for the fact that Lacy could see Alya's phone screen from her angle and it was definitely on the Ladyblog. But Lockesmith still scowled.

"Liar!"

Alya recovered quick. "Okay, okay, maybe I wasn't. But now I will! This is a recurring problem in our school that has been highlighted by the akumas it's caused. The akumas may be awful, and totally Hawkmoth's fault, but they are also highlighting other problems we may not have seen otherwise."

"May not have seen? It's pretty obvious you're supposed to put locks on lockers. They're called lockers!"

"Fair point, fair point," Alya conceded. "But-"

Whatever Alya was about to say was cut off by Ladybug, who jumped onto Lockesmith, completely taking her by surprise.

Lockesmith yelped. A blade of metal came up out of the ground, pushing Ladybug off of Lockesmith.

The two began to spar, with Alya still on the ground filming. It wasn't until Ladybug almost tripped her over that she moved from the courtyard.

Alya slipped behind the column, next to Lacy.

"Are you okay?" Lacy asked.

"Yep," Alya said. "And I have the video to prove it!"

.

The entire battle took about ten minutes, which was just enough time to completely destroy the school with metal spikes.

Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to cancel classes for the rest of the day (something about too many missed classes already?), which meant Marinette had to run back to her class.

Just as she arrived at the door, someone caught her arm.

Marinette turned to see Adrien standing awkwardly behind her.

"Can we talk?"

"Sure," Marinette replied.

Marinette and Adrien walked to a more secluded place in the hallway.

"What's wrong?" Marinette asked.

"Lila."

"What did she do?" Marinette demanded.

Adrien smiled awkwardly and scratched the back of his head. "She, well - it's nothing really, we just bumped into each other and-"

"Did she threaten you?"

Adrien paused. "Uh, kinda?"

Marinette scowled. "Oh, that-"

"It's not that big of a deal-"

"- is going down, what do you mean it's not that big of a deal? She threatened you!"

"It's not! She just told me that if I tried to get her fired-"

"Wait, you mean your father hasn't fired her yet?" Marinette questioned. "She must have lied on her resume. Is that what she threatened you about?"

"Who threatened who?"

Marinette and Adrien both jumped, startled to see Chloe had snuck up on them.

"It's nothing, Chlo," Adrien replied.

"It's not nothing!" Marinette argued. "Lila threatened you."

"Did she?" Chloe questioned, sounding cold. "Well, that was her mistake."

"Chlo..."

[seriestrash]

The List - Chapter Three

- 1 - 2 -

Summary: It’s summer vacation and TJ and Cyrus fill their days checking things off Cyrus’ list.

Read on AO3

Chapter Three: +3

Word Count: 2073

It’s late into the second week of summer and TJ and Cyrus have been checking things off the list with hast. Cyrus’ park day with TJ had boosted the younger boys confidence immensely and he was tackling things with a relative amount of ease. TJ works one morning and two afternoons a week but other than that TJ and Cyrus had been consistently spending their days together when their parents would allow.

In the past week Amber had stayed for dinner one night after her therapy session which was awkward to begin with - dining with the lady she has to open up to - but once she and Cyrus broke away to watch a movie together it was natural and full of easy laughs. Cyrus thought it worked out perfectly that Amber’s sessions were on a Tuesday evening because TJ was occupied at the gym. 

Today TJ and Cyrus head to the virtual reality arcade together for another task on the list. As per usual, the two end up messing around a lot and playfully get off task. Cyrus found the total emersion of the VR completely terrifying and TJ found that completely amusing but without being facetious. 

After completing the task and a bit more mucking around, the two decide to take a break from the games. TJ makes his way to the restroom whilst Cyrus secures a table. Cyrus hadn’t even been seated for a minute when a familiar face approaches him.

“Hey, Marty!” Cyrus greets him warmly.

“Hey, Cyrus, are you here alone?” Marty pricks up a brow and quickly lets his eyes scan the room. Cyrus suspected he was trying to work out if Buffy was present.

“No I’m here with TJ.” Cyrus announces.

Marty scrunches his face in confusion, “As in Kippen? As if the guy that’s a jerk to everyone, Buffy included?”

“TJ is just misunderstood.” Cyrus frowns lightly, “He’s different now to how he was.. You two would probably be really good friends if you gave him a chance.”

Marty gives Cyrus an unconvinced look and then nods his head as if he were motioning towards something. Cyrus turns back and finds TJ approaching.

“Hey, Marty.” TJ nods in the other boys direction as he sits at the table.

An awkward few seconds pass and Cyrus scrambles to quickly fill the silence. “So, Marty, are you here with anyone?”

“Nah, my mom’s across the road at the grocery store. I thought I’d kill time in here.” Marty answers. 

“Do you come here much?” TJ tries to contribute but Cyrus could tell his friend felt uneasy.

“Only once before.” Marty laughs awkwardly and Cyrus grimaces.

“Am I missing something?” TJ doesn’t understand the look they exchanged.

“He came here on a fake date with Buffy.” Cyrus explains.

“Jonah and Andi were there too.” Marty adds. “They were on a real date.. I think..  Actually I have no idea.”

Cyrus laughs because he was all too familiar with the awkward beginnings of Andi and Jonah. “Those were dark and confusing times, I’m not sure either of them knew what was going on.” Cyrus jokes and Marty chuckles lightly.

TJ folds his arms and coaxes his head as he looks across at Marty, “So are you still obsessed with Buffy?”

“I’m not obsessed with Buffy!” Marty says defensively.

Cyrus turns to TJ with a disapproving look.

“What?” TJ shrugs his shoulders at Cyrus, “Everybody knows he had a huge crush on her, it was very obvious.”

“Doesn’t mean we need to address it at the table.” Cyrus says in a hushed tone as if Marty couldn’t hear their conversation.

“I had a crush on Buffy, past tense and I was not obsessed.” Marty folds his arms like a huffy child and TJ wears and amused smirk.

“You have a girlfriend now, right?” Cyrus tries to steer the conversation somewhere new.

“Had, past tense.” Marty repeats with an exhale. 

“Did you break up because you’re still obsessed with Buffy?” TJ bites down on his smile as he anticipates Cyrus’ disapproving stare. Surely enough, Cyrus whips his wide-eyed and unimpressed look in TJ’s direction. 

“Yeah he’s a real angel now, Cyrus.” Marty rolls his eyes. 

“I’m just kidding,” TJ says genuinely although his smile contradicted his sincerity. 

“What about you, Cyrus?” Marty decides to let the teasing slide. “Do you still talk to that high school girl?” 

“Amber?” Cyrus furrows his brows. 

“The girl from The Spoon?” TJ questions as he had sat through her overly chatty service whilst there with Cyrus.

“No, her friend, the one you and Jonah double-dated with?” Marty clarifies.

“You dated a high school girl?” TJ seems surprised. 

“Iris.” Cyrus confirms and he realises he hadn't thought about her in a while. “No, we’re just friends.” 

"Too bad, she was cute.” Marty processes that with a nod.

“So Marty, are you going to try out for the basketball team again next year?” TJ clears his throat. 

“I think I might focus on track season first and decide about basketball later.” Marty tosses his head from side to side before settling upright again, “I heard Buffy was starting a girls team for next year though.” Once Marty notices TJ’s smirk return he rolls his eyes, “I know that from a friend who wanted to tryout, not because I’m obsessed with her.” 

TJ chuckles quietly and from there all awkward tension was relinquished. Marty and TJ continue to chat basketball and Cyrus loses interest quickly as he didn’t know how to contribute to the conversation.

“You look bored, Underdog.” TJ nudges Cyrus with his arm. 

“Me? I love sports, shooting hoops,” Cyrus exaggerates his enthusiasm, “Maybe I’ll try out for the team myself next year.” 

“You know since I’m captain I can put in a good word with the coach?” TJ plays along.

“As long as the coach can look past my lack of athleticism and inability to shoot the basketball anywhere near the hoop.” Cyrus jokes along with a laugh. 

“I didn’t see make a basket on the list.” TJ pricks up a brow. 

“That’s because basketball is boring,” Cyrus fakes a yawn, “Your one on one match with Buffy put me to sleep.” 

“Hey you seemed pretty excited when she beat me.” TJ sends him a gentle scold. 

“Buffy beat you at one on one?” Marty - whom had been sitting back, confused by TJ and Cyrus’ unlikely friendship as they joked - smirks, “I’d say I’m surprised but I’m not.” 

TJ rolls his eyes and shrugs it off. 

“You mentioned a list before, what list?” Marty questions. 

TJ looks to Cyrus with a hint of panic in his expression like he’s accidentally shared something Cyrus might not have wanted public but Cyrus is surprisingly forthcoming with his explanation.

“So you two are just hanging out going through this bucket list of sorts for the summer?” Marty asks. 

“Pretty much.” TJ bops his head with a smile. 

“A bucket list with some pretty lame goals.” Cyrus laughs nervously and TJ shakes his head at the shorter boys negativity. 

“That actually sounds pretty cool.” Marty looks genuinely impressed by the idea, “If you guys want some extra company...” 

Cyrus instinctively looks to TJ for approval and when TJ nods his head Cyrus returns his gaze back towards their friend, “We’ll call Marty from the party.” 

“It’s cuter when Buffy says it.” Marty jokes with a crinkled nose. 

Cyrus let out a sigh in anticipation and TJ’s smirk returns as he says, “You say you’re not obsessed with her but it kinda sounds like you-” 

“I’m not obsessed with Buffy.” Marty waves a finger in TJ’s direction, “But I am leaving.” 

“I was just kidding, you don’t have to go.” TJ frowns as he thought he had made Marty want to bail. 

“I have to get back to my mom.” Marty smiles to show he’s okay with the teasing. 

TJ and Cyrus walk Marty out and watch as he crosses the road towards the grocery store before turning their attention back to one another. 

“The twins” - TJ says referring to his younger siblings - “come home from sleep away camp tomorrow so we’re having a family day but the day after, we could meet by the outside basketball court at school, work on your professional basketball career?” TJ shifts his weight between his feet with a bouncy motion. 

“It’s not on the list.” Cyrus shakes his head. 

“So?” TJ scoffs, “We’ve gone off list before.” 

Cyrus crinkles his nose and shakes his head again. 

“Too bad.” TJ purses his lips momentarily, “We’re adding ‘make a basket’ to your list so we have to do it.”

“You can’t add things to the list?” Cyrus gives him a quizzical look, “The list is the list.”

“The list is final?” TJ almost challenges, “All 97 things is all you’ll ever do in your life?”

Cyrus frowns because TJ had a point.

“That’s what I thought,” TJ smirks victoriously.

“I’m sure I’ll learn I’m incompetent at plenty more things in my life,” Cyrus folds his arms with a huff.

TJ shakes his head with a silent chuckle, “Since I’m helping with the list I think it’s only fair that I get to add something onto it. Actually, 3 somethings,” TJ smiles, “I get to pick 3 tasks and that'll make it 100 things on the list.”

“Okay.” Cyrus agrees although his expression was dubious, “Make a basket,” Cyrus stresses the singular score, “What else?”

TJ thinks intensely for a moment before shrugging, “Not sure... To be determined.”

Cyrus groans, “The not knowing is physically painful for me, I hope you know that.”

TJ fails at hiding his amused grin. “So we’re on for the day after tomorrow?”

“You’re not sick of me yet?” Cyrus asks without really meaning to. 

"I just insisted I get to extend the list by 3 tasks.” TJ laughs but once Cyrus’ blank expression remains TJ affirms, “I’m not sick of you, Cyrus. I’m having so much fun...” TJ’s smiles curls into a worried look, “Are you getting sick of me?”

“No, not at all.” Cyrus shakes his head quickly and he becomes very aware of how awkward he’s made things. 

“So, day after tomorrow?” TJ repeats and Cyrus thinks maybe he only made it weird for himself. 

“Day after tomorrow.” Cyrus nods. 

“Walk me home?” TJ jokingly shimmies his shoulders. 

“I got nothing better to do.” Cyrus shrugs. 

“Gee you really know how to make a guy feel special.” TJ scoffs and plays up his mock offence. 

The two begin walking together. “So what went wrong with Marty and Buffy?” TJ questions. “I was pretty certain she was just at sweet on him as he was her.” 

Cyrus thinks about this for a moment. Why had it never occurred to him that her unknown crush could be on Marty? 

“Earth to underdog?” TJ grabs Cyrus’ attention as he had zoned out thinking about Buffy. 

“Huh?” Cyrus is confused for a moment. 

“Marty, Buffy?” TJ summarises. 

“I can’t talk about that with you.” Cyrus frowns. “Buffy wouldn't like me discussing her with you.” 

“But we’re all friends now.” TJ states. 

“Still.” Cyrus shakes his head, the last thing he wanted was to get into trouble with Buffy again over something he’s shared about her with TJ.

“So you and Buffy have never talked about me before?” TJ questions. 

“Why would we?” Cyrus laughs nervously and he regretted his jittery reply although TJ didn’t seem to register it as odd, his joking demeanour remains. 

“Because I’m the coolest guy you know.” TJ smirks and it was obvious he was playing around. 

“Jonah is the coolest guy I know.” Cyrus holds back a laugh. 

TJ cups a hand to his chest like Cyrus had just wounded him with his words. “I have a reputation to uphold and you’re saying I’m second best to ultimate frisbee boy?” 

Cyrus sends a scold sidewards at him for the little jab at Jonah’s sporting preference but he still decides to play along and take TJ down a peg or two in the process. “Who said anything about you being second best?”

“How low on the list am I?" TJ fakes a gasp and exaggerates an upset expression, “You’re being very mean to me this afternoon.” 

Cyrus worries TJ was serious and properly apologises and TJ laughs quietly at the neurotic and sincere reaction. With a smile he says, “You couldn’t be mean if you tried, underdog.” 

[Next Chapter]

End Notes: Chapter Three!! I Hope you’re enjoying the story so far. Thanks so much to everyone that left replies and likes and reblogs on the last chapter! 

What’s that I hear? Oh it’s just me self serving my muffy heart.. Carry on!

[bowiemonroee]

The Interview

 William Monroe has been ordered court-mandated therapy following a DWI and drug possession conviction. Here is his intake interview.

PART 1: THE BASICS

What is your full name?

What? Your cheap paper doesn’t have that information already? Christ. My name’s William Monroe but I never introduce myself as such or any variation. I go by Bowie and that’s it.

Where and when were you born?

Again, more information you should have. August 11th, 1994 in Manhattan.

Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.)

My father, if you can call him that, is the CEO of Monroe Pharmaceutical. Yes, the same Monroe Pharmaceutical that charges you an exorbitant amount of money for your medications. My mother, Viviane Monroe is a socialite. Her wealth is from steel. They look like they have a perfect marriage but it’s far from it. He sleeps with his secretary and hookers and she downs Valium to keep that perky little smile up. They make it work. To be fair a divorce would not only harm their social credit but their financial standings as well. As parents, she’s better than he is. She can genuinely fake interest in our lives. He can’t be bothered. She owns her awfulness. He thinks he’s father of the year.

Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?

Ugh, my fucking sisters. The middle one, she’s following in my mother’s footsteps. She’s a “classy philanthropist”, prim and proper. The good egg, if you will. A complete angel compared to me. So selfless and kind and blah blah blah. Give me a break. She only does that stuff because it makes her feel good about herself. Where’s the selflessness in that? You can’t complete acts of kindness for the gratitude and expect to still be a good person. She also drinks her daily three bottles of wine and complains about how father never came to her dance recitals. Give me a break. And then the youngest. Her life revolves around flowing trends and making them or whatever. She’s one of those girls on instagram posting about skinny fit tea and hairy gummy bears or whatever. Companies send her thousands of dollars in products in the hopes of getting attached to some stupid picture that’ll get thousand of mindless likes. probably all the attention she needs since father never gave it to her Their lives are both shallow and purposeless.

Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people.

I live with my two dogs in a Penthouse apartment near One World Trade.

What is your occupation?

I’m a filmmaker, an artist.

Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks.

What is this? A dating profile? I’m 6’0, 181 pounds, black hair, green, like a hipster Steve Jobs as my sisters would say, no tattoos, minor scars from falling as a child, no distinguishing marks. I’m boring. What can I say?

To which social class do you belong?

The polite answer is upper class. The real answer is “the richer than you” class.

Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?

I’m allergic to pollen and red dye #40. Well, red dye is more of intolerance but whatever. I still eat it because I’m not a little bitch. Physical weaknesses? I had a torn rotator cuff when I was younger but I still have pain in that shoulder.

Are you right- or left-handed?

I’m always right.

What do you have in your pockets?

Money, Black Card.

Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?

I’m perfect.

PART 2: GROWING UP

How would you describe your childhood in general?

Eck, I mean, I had everything I wanted, right? I’d sound like a complete scumbag if I said “oh, my childhood was sad because my parents weren’t there and they didn’t pay attention to me and I was raised by nannies and sent to a $13,000 summer camp every year instead. Poor me.” I’m sure you’d love to hear some sob story about how all of that lead me to using drugs for fun. Yeah, fuck that whiny shit. My childhood was great.

What is your earliest memory?

I don’t know how old I was probably old enough to read at least. I was at my Nana’s house and she was watching this film Festen or The Celebration by Thomas Vinterberg. I can’t recall what it was about the film but I fell in love with filmmaking in that moment.

How much schooling have you had?

I went to the Dalton School from K through 12. Then NYU for college…which hasn’t ended yet, but whatever. Perfection takes time.

Did you enjoy school?

Elementary to 12, eh. High School got interesting when I could take more visual art classes. College was better because once those well rounding core classes were done I could get to the good film classes.

Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities?

I mean, good filmmaking isn’t taught. I can’t pinpoint where I learned things. It’s just stuff you see, like, then add to your repertoire. 

While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them.

Role models? Please. Role models are pointless because people will always let you down.

While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family?

As kids, my sisters and I were alright I suppose. As good as siblings can be. My father and I never really got along. I guess what the feminists are calling “toxic masculinity” was an issue with him. He didn’t think the arts was a place for a male. I was meant to run a business. Wear a suit. Manage over sheep. Blah blah blah. My mother, I tried. She tried. We cohabitate. It works. The only person I’d consider myself close with is Nana.

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Oh for fucks sake, I don’t know. I guess I wanted to be what all little kids want to be. A doctor. A police officer. A firefighter. Then I grew up.

As a child, what were your favorite activities?

I liked art or rather, painting on the walls and floors, reading, making models and dioramas, causing trouble, having tantrums.

As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display?

I was an extrovert. Very loud and talkative. Charming from what I’ve been told. I could talk my way out of trouble and into extra cookies, etc.

As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like?

Of course I was popular. Throughout school, my best friend for a lack of a better word, was Edmond Hamilton. He was a good kid. Strong and a good listener. He was the bronze to my brains. His father was a senator and his mother a pediatric surgeon. His parents weren’t home much so we through a lot of parties at his house. He had this cousin too, Anthony. He wasn’t wealthy like the rest of us. The senator’s brother, Anthony’s father, had a gambling problem and his mother, a drinking problem. As a result, he just wanted to find people he felt he ‘belonged’ with. Well, of course we’d ues that to our advantage. We could usually convince Anthony to steal stuff for us, do our dirty work. Edmond’s a big wig hedge fund manager and Anthony’s in prison. In high school, I fucked around with Rei you know, just as something to do. I outright told her that but you know, I’m not responsible for her feelings. I also fucked around with Alana Kingsley too.

When and with whom was your first kiss?

I think I was 10, give or take, and it was with…what was her name? Victoria Calloway.

Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity?

Mmm, a little personal aren’t we doc? Well, if you must know, I followed in the tradition of all the male Monroe’s before. On my 16th birthday, my father got an escort and that was that. I know what you’re thinking, how problematic it is. How a child that young can’t make a choice like that, yadayadayada. Save it. I’m fine.

PART 3: BELIEFS & OPINIONS

Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?

Neither. Both are ridiculous concepts. You can’t generalize yourself in that way. Do I have a brighter outlook on some experiences, sure. Grimmer on others. I’d say I’m more cynical than anything.

What is your greatest fear?

Why bother with fear? Fear is what you have when you think you can’t do something or that you’ll fail. I don’t do either of those things.

What are your religious views?

Religion is awesome. Think about it. The very few have the power over the masses all because they claim to be a voice for some divinity. How genius is that? They can control these people under the guise of a better afterlife? Sign me up to be the leader of that. That and also look at the drama it incites. How would you not love it. 

What are your political views?

I don’t care either way but I was raised Republican.

What are your views on sex?

It’s a fun necessity.

Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?

No, absolutely not. That’s just a ploy or something that society has made up in order to get people to marry and procreate in a specific set of parameters. It’s absolute bullshit.

What do you believe makes a successful life?

Realism. Being real will lead you to success. But then again, I’m also a chronic, pathological liar. But I’m real about the characters I develop.

How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)?

I’m always honest.

Do you have any biases or prejudices?

I think comics are low art. I don’t know if that counts as a bias? And I think I’m smarter than everyone so that might be one too.

Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?

I don’t put limits on myself.

Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?

Maybe my dogs but that’s about it. No one deserves my death.

PART 4: RELATIONSHIPS W/OTHERS

In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how?

I’m polite to everyone however, our definitions tend to differ I suppose. My politeness is truth centered. I’m not going to sugar coat my words to spare your feelings. That wouldn’t help you grow as a person. All these people with thin skins need me.

Who is the most important person in your life, and why?

Me, myself, and I. Should be self-explanatory.

Who is the person you respect the most, and why?

If I have to pick someone, I’d say Lars Von Trier. Excellent filmmaker.

Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people.

Eck, best friends. I try not to have friends like that because again, people let you down.

Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person.’

That’s a joke, right?

Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened.

I love myself.

What do you look for in a potential lover?

I don’t look for potential lovers.

How close are you to your family?

I talk to my sisters at least once a week. My parents maybe once a month. About as close as oil and vinegar. We exist in the same salad dressing bottle but like never really together.

Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not?

I mean, not that I know of but who’s really to say. I’d assume if I impregnated someone she’d probably try to sue me for child support or something. But as of right now, I don’t have any desire to have kids or a family for that matter. If we haven’t noticed by now, I’m selfish as fuck.

Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help?

Rich probably. Or Mr. Franklin.

Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?

Rich, because it’s his job.

If you died or went missing, who would miss you?

Probably my dogs, Benedict and Constance.

Who is the person you despise the most, and why?

Declan Wentworth. That son of a bitch tried to embarrass me in front of the entire school by pulling my pants down during the student body elections. Jokes on him. Not only did I win president, which I didn’t even want because I was only running as a joke, but it made a rather good impression among the girls in our grade if you catch my drift.

Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?

I don’t argue. I state facts and people get butthurt. That’s not my issue.

Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?

I’m naturally charismatic, what do you think?

Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not?

I wouldn’t say I particularly like it. I could go either way. But I do enjoy being in charge of them and making them do stuff so.

Do you care what others think of you?

Fuck no.

PART 5: LIKES & DISLIKES

What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?

Ugh, I hate this question. People always ask this when they don’t know what else to ask. As if what I like to do says a lot about who I am. Please.

What is your most treasured possession?

My Varicam, my Minolta.

What is your favorite color?

Black and I don’t care if that’s a shade.

What is your favorite food?

The Tomahawk Ribeye from Bowery Meat Company.

What, if anything, do you like to read?

Mostly things about cults or charismatic leaders.

What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)?

I enjoy a good film, watching people argue, lying, etc.

Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit?

All of the above and absolutely not. I’m no quitter.

How do you spend a typical Saturday night?

Typically Saturday night? There’s no such thing for me. I’m either out gallivanting the city or throwing some sort of getting together at my place. 

What makes you laugh?

People falling.

What, if anything, shocks or offends you?

The stupidity of others although I shouldn’t be surprised.

What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself?

I’d go find some shit bar to sit in. Maybe cause a fight or something. Not between me and someone. Between two other people. It’d be interesting to watch.

How do you deal with stress?

Drugs.

Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?

Spontaneous.

What are your pet peeves?

Ignorance. Goody two shoes.

PART 6: SELF IMAGES & OTHER

Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted?

Routine? I don’t believe in routines.

What is your greatest strength as a person?

Everything.

What is your greatest weakness?

Nothing. 

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Again, Nothing?

Are you generally introverted or extroverted?

Extroverted.

Are you generally organized or messy?

Messy is a sign of weakness. I have no weaknesses.

Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at.

Just three? Fine. Filmmaking, pissing people off, talking. There’s nothing I’m bad at so that question isn’t valid.

Do you like yourself?

No. I love myself.

What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?

I’m pretty accomplished right now so I’m good. Thanks. 

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Still rich. Still causing trouble.

If you could choose, how would you want to die?

In a blaze of glory probably. Something dramatic of course.

If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left.

Have a final meal at Bowery Meat, do a fuck ton of coke, set my apartment on fire.

What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death?

I don’t care if people remember me after I die. 

What three words best describe your personality?

Amazing. Perfect. Talented.

What three words would others probably use to describe you?

Again, Amazing, perfect, Talented.

[dasaene-archive]

This isn’t a new concept and idk if anyone is really interested, but I wanted to talk about my friends’, teachers’, or acquaintances’ types since I thought it might be fun to share my impressions of all of them. I’ve moved around a lot since my mom is in the military but have only learned about MBTI for two or three years, so even if I have met every type irl I can only really talk about the ones I remember.

ISTJ (my mom, 1 acquaintance)

h i l a r i o u s (without even trying to be)

Actually?? Gets things done??? Without saying anything??????

Tired. Tired all the dang time.

Ready to kill at any moment

Dog people

Always has to be doing something. If they’re not doing something, they’re bored.

Would die for their families

INFJ (my dad, I don’t think I’ve met any INFJs irl besides him and myself)

Done with life

Bad social anxiety

N E R D  N E R D  N E R D

Literally has a master’s degree in social work so like if you want a counselor he’s got the qualifications besides just being an INFJ

Thinks gender roles are stupid (he’s an emotional stay-at-home dad with long hair)

Took the test in college and got INTJ (lol relatable)

ISTP (my sister, 1 acquaintance)

Bored every day of their lives

Loves food

RBF. Like, never-ending soul-crushing RBF.

Acquaintance will not stop fixing up his dang truck (how many more mods can you do, man?? Need more lights????? MORE PAINT??????)

Everyone in freshman year had a crush on this truck-lovin fool

Has an excellent taste in fashion

Messy bedrooms

Arguing with family 24/7

Secretly hopeless romantics

INTP (friend)

Awkward but likes to observe people

Will talk about the weirdest crap with you w/o judgment

Went to two STEM camps and one band camp this summer

Likes languages and instruments but never has the motivation to learn them (wow same)

WHAT ARE FEELINGS

Will speak up if something’s off

High-key space nerd

Everyone wants to be her or be with her like seriously how does she do it while still being so awkward

INFP (3 friends)

Cringe city but generally fun to be around anyway

Loves to take care of their friends

Dog people (animal people in general)

Anime nerds. All of them.

Super creative procrastinators (one writes and one draws)

Will fite you if you disagree with (a.k.a. insult) their beliefs (I hate arguing w them tbh)

Nostalgic

Internal screaming

All three of them give off pretty different vibes (idk if it’s the Fi?? enneagram differences????)

ISFP (friend)

So?? Chill??????

Sinnamon roll

Everybody has a crush on her and everyone is heartbroken bc she lets them down so gently

Always hanging out with people and going outside

Has huge collections of stuff (teapots, duck plushies, figurines, onesies, it never ends)

Has a more eclectic taste in pets (snakes, hermit crabs, fish)

Phone is  a l w a y s  dead, like girl pls find a charger and an outlet

Sometimes we won’t text in like half a year but when we talk again it’s like nothing’s changed

ISFJ (2 friends)

One is a theatre nerd

Has arbitrary obsessions

One random event when they were 3 yrs old must have really changed them

Loves their phones

S m o l, like really really small

Secret meme queens

High-key hopeless romantics who love deeply but rarely

Hard workers and volunteers

ENTP (1 teacher, 1 friend[?])

The English teacher everybody hates (super annoying and disorganized)

...has a good sense of humor tho

Supervises the speech and debate team (and I’m sure if my friend[?] went to a school that had one of those she’d wreck everybody)

Very proud of their ancestry (one is Celtic, one is the descendant of Charlemagne)

Flirty and always lookin for love

B U S Y

Salty

ESTJ (1 teacher, 1 acquaintance)

The English teacher everybody hates (super meticulous and organized)

Rule is law, and unfortunately for you I really do like making my own rules

DO NOT ENGAGE, YOU WILL GET REKT

Loves to read

Silly. Like, for someone so serious, they are jokesters.

Pretends not to take things personally but has deep emotional capabilities

Too nosy for their own good

Love-hate relationship I have with them. Mutual respect.

ENFJ (friend)

Genuinely nice and motivated to help people

Tries to get everyone to focus on group projects

Twin is the ISTP acquaintance who won’t stop working on his truck. They ride ATVs together.

Also twins with flipped complementary function stacks? Nice

Seems airheaded, is really not

She has long curly hair. Idk this seemed notable to mention

Competitive but will be really warm to you while trying to crush you

Looks introverted at first glance, but is just kinda chill when not in study mode

ESFJ (1 friend, 1 acquaintance)

One is pretty stereotypical, the other is a nerdy goofball

Actually both hate popularity and being fake so I guess they both hopped onto the individuality train in terms of who they hang out with

Acquaintance is a Southern Belle™ and is dating truck-lovin’ ISTP (dang this dude is e v e r y w h e r e, you’d think he is an ESTP but no)

Nerdy goofball is addicted to collecting pins and drinking cherry slushies

Have that “XD” kinda Ne humor

Don’t like to talk about themselves a lot but love people

Do really appreciate a good selfie tho

ENFP (friend)

Flirt. Like, dangerously flirty considering she’s dating someone

Uses :3c ironically so much that it’s become unironic

Distinctive fashion that goes from girly to androgynous in 2 seconds flat, but is always presentable

Reads bad fanfiction for fun

Makes fun of my dad’s knobbly knees

Determined to achieve her dreams

Makes a good first impression on adults, really is just a depressed memer

INTJ (acquaintance)

Quiet, but will laugh boisterously at dark humor

Left a note in my yearbook at the end of the year saying that when I first started at that school he thought I was a horrible pretentious jerk but then he realized I was a quirky but intelligent weirdo and he wished me well wherever I was moving

Like no joke that was the best thing I’ve ever read written about me I was laughing no one was that honest with me in that dang school and I didn’t even know the guy very well

WILL call you out if you do or say something wrong

A ~mystery~

Probably had a silent existential crisis every day at lunch

ESFP (acquaintance)

L O U D

so,, emotional??

Popular as crap. Like, really popular

Because he’s popular drama follows him wherever he goes

Voted Best Dancer in the yearbook superlatives every year bc boi this dude will not stop dancing

Used to have that Sokka haircut. You know the one

Bites his tongue a lot bc he has so many opinions but isn’t ready to stop the nice vibes ya know

Protective of his mom and younger siblings

I probably met an ESTP and ENTJ at some point in my life buuut no one notable comes to mind so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[szopenhauer]

Do you believe in any conspiracy theories? some

What trends do you refuse to give in to? basically all of them What types of perfume/cologne do you like on your preferred sex? none How do you get rid of anxiety? wish I knew! Are you a more of a homebody, or someone who’s always out with friends? homebody Are you materialistic? been told - in a sentimental way, not rich way Would you consider yourself open-minded? no Is there anything in your life right now that needs fixing? my body/mind Would you say that the simple things in life make you happy? they make me smile, I enjoy them Do you come up with your own words or sayings often? yes What’s the first thing you think of when I say ‘pearl necklace’?

Gummi worms: Yay or nay? nay What do you do when you have ‘me time’? why after the question before it sounds so... ekhem... What’s your opinion on Weird Al Yankovic? I liked his SW song Have you ever met someone online that you wanted to meet in real life? yup and met but only one person When was the last time you entertained yourself with shadow puppets?  not that long time ago tbh as I like to do that randomly :D

What do you think S.H.C. stands for? school lmfao

Have you ever heard of Salad Fingers? mhm *I like rusty spoons

How do you feel about oldies (50’s-70’s) music? depends on the song

Ford or Dodge?  Ford What’s your favorite element: fire, earth, wind or water? I think that most spectacular, in a movie/book, is fire, then wind, earth is most lame but I still dislike water, when it comes to real life then eart would be most interesting instead hahaha but I’m either wind or earth probably 

Do you visit craft/hobby stores often? nope

How do you feel about spiked collars?  cool

What’s keeping you from going after the person you like? I’ve been writing about it plenty of times...

Who/what brings out the best in you? depends on your definition of “best”

Have you ever watched or read A Clockwork Orange? no and don’t want/plan to

How do you feel about plastic pink flamingos? love

Do you like your ice cream super frozen or somewhat melted? in between

Fill in the blanks: I wish _____ knew _____. I wish I knew what’s wrong with me and how to fix it. I wish I knew what’s good and bad and what I should do. I wish I knew who I am and what I want/need. 

Do you enjoy playing with magnets? :3 I collect them but don’t play with magnets 

How do you handle an awkward moment? depends

The Beatles: totally amazing or horribly overrated? overrated

Have you ever felt like you belonged in a different century? not really

Pretend you just saw a shooting star. What do you wish for? health *not that it will work

Was your first phone a flip phone? nope What is an old website that closed down that you miss? polyvore forever <3 Do you listen to Grace VanderWaal? If yes, what’s your favorite song of hers? I know/like one of her songs - I don’t like you What is the grossest thing you have ever vomited up? everything about puking is disgusting so... If you had had a baby in high school, what would you have named him or her? omg...

Are you foreign-born? I was born and live in Poland Do you drink coffee with your breakfast? I don’t drink coffee at all

Did you know that dolphins & whales are mammals?  I did Are all of your grandparents still alive? no

do you need to take a smoke break? I don’t smoke honestly, do you think that you’re going to be an overprotective parent? I won’t be a parent :P what kind of relationship do you have with the last person you kissed? uh... have you ever been tutored or tutored someone yourself? been tutored would you rather wear necklaces, bracelets, rings, or earrings? hmm... is everything you have on actually yours? sure when was the last time you wore a band-aid and why? wbiłam sobie metalowy drut w palec what would you do if you discovered that you had a 7 year old kid? ... how? moon sand or play doh? Playdoh do you honestly believe that someone will waste their time reading this? I know she will pfft what’s something you need to get done soon? don’t remind me... your grandparents just died in a plane crash, what are you doing? sit confused as why would they be in a plane in the first place? :o if i came to your house, could i find any kind of chocolate? ask my mother do your parents allow smoking in your house? hell no last person you left a voicemail for? I don’t like voicemails what is the last thing you charged? cellphone have you ever held a snake? I wanna describe to me the nearest stuffed animal to you. there’s shitload of those around me do you ever wear sleep masks when you sleep or shower caps when you shower? neither zebrah print, cheetah print, cow print, polka dots, or stripes? stripes would you rather go to a beach, and amusement park, or a water park? beach or amusement park, definitely not water park

Have you ever thought about becoming a crime scene investigator? yep

If I asked around, would people say you’re an actually good friend? doubt it

Where are your siblings at right now, if you have any? most likely her apartment

Do people say you complain too much? I know I do, sorry not sorry?

Have you ever considered changing your sexual orientation? there was a moment

Do you miss any of your past best friends? kinda

Have you graduated high school yet? If so, what color were your cap and gown? we didn’t have caps and gowns

Does your significant other complain about the way you dress? does she? XD

Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? would say so

What would you do if a stranger smacked your ass and whistled? dunno

Do you understand the game of Monopoly? why not

Do you ever make fun of short people? I’m short...

Would you say you’re reliable to be a good babysitter? I don’t like kids

Do you feel replaced in any way at all right now? when my dad plays with my niece :( also when I see/hear about my ex friends and exes in general?

Do you think it’s actually possible to have a ‘beautiful nightmare?’ yes

Have you ever held an intervention for someone before? I don’t want to participate in such a thing 

Do you ever blame your problems on someone else? only if they’re at blame

As a child, were you ever made fun of? What about right now? I’ve been bullied my whole life

Are you more of an open, optomistic person or lonely and pessimistic? loner* and pessimistic but I’m also quite open about who I am, because I’m an introvert doesn’t mean I’m shy

What is the last thing you tried on in a store? not sure what was last

When did you realize you are no longer a child? this question makes me sad Is sleeping naked more comfortable then in clothes? no idea Are you comfortable enough around your friends to change in front of them? I don’t care most of the time anymore tbh Have you ever had a dream in which you were making out, or more, with someone? smth more more often than just kissing which is weird Do you prefer to fix the problems or just end the relationship? depends Have you ever accidentally stepped on a cat tail? possibly

Did you know that when a worm is cut in two both pieces grow again and continue living? been told Do veggies gross you out? why Have you ever dated someone in secret? :x Do you bring pillows and blankets on road trips? nope Does walking by yourself make you nervous? might When dog’s bark, do you think it actually sounds like ‘ruff’? no What about when cows moo? yup Do you kiss your pets? yuk Have you ever forgotten where you parked your car? I don’t drive Does your leg itch right now? not rn Would you rather marry someone repulsive or be alone forever? be alone When is the last time you saw a monkey on TV? I don’t watch TV Would you be sad if you were 50 and still not married? nope Is it dark out yet? mhm Do hugs help when you’re sad? sometimes Do you buy more things online or in stores? stores Do online dating sites ever work? not for me

Do you find kite flying boring? if for a long time Have you ever released a paper lantern? I’d like to 

Do you ever listen to Jpop? not anymore What is the best summer camp you have ever been to? been to two and both had good and bad sides  Is your bed next to a window? it’s not 

Have you ever ran a cash register? I have

Does anyone appreciate your talents? what talents? Do you ever write letters and send them through the mail? used to Have you ever had an allergy test at the doctor’s? even recently

Skeletons or scarecrows? scarecrows

Do you own pumpkin earrings? - Have you ever walked through a haunted house? no thx Have you ever asked someone to be your Valentine? and they laughed at me?...

Do you like the name Ellery? sounds like Celery so no

Do you find cemeteries pretty? yeah Does your phone screen freeze a lot? could say so

Do you tend to wear the color blue the most? as a kid Did you kiss anyone on New Years? never Who did you spend your last velentine’s day with? by myself

Is there anything plugged to your computer? two pendrives and powerbank Anyone ever got you something while you were with them without you knowing? sort of Are you more of the indie or mainstream type? indie Where is your favorite place to be massaged? I don’t receive massages When did you last speak with your grandparents? years ago Don’t you hate it when something limits the amount you can type/write? very Do you live where there are a lot of cows? nope Have you ever went an entire day without looking at yourself in the mirror? as a person who avoids mirrors... Do you like the colors purple and orange together? depends? Honestly, do you smell nice at the moment? do I ever? my partner tells me I do but I’ve been told I stink several times before