#unnamed freak

[jonathanbiers]

that "who DARES interrupt our fucking jam session???" death glare

[putting-eddie-munson-in-places]

Can you put him with corroded coffin (if you haven’t already)? 💕

https://www.tumblr.com/dinah-lance/711717731208183808/hellfire

it’s wayne’s world and they’re just living in it

[wheatnoodle]

i hope s5 gives unnamed freak a name. that’s so fucked up of them. he’s in the show just as much as gareth and jeff and yet he’s the only one without a name?? even jason’s friend andy got a name! but here’s the one fat kid in the show that they aren’t going to even give a name and instead list as “unnamed freak”.

he has lines! and nobody, not even his supposed friends in the show, mention his name once. they said “let’s be body inclusive yet still show he’s not really a character!”

so, here’s some of my hcs for unnamed freak.

-his name is grant vanderburg

-he’s in the same grade as jeff and takes honors and ap courses for anything science and history

-grant sucks at math, but luckily that’s where jeff is great so he gets help from him at lunch sometimes

-he is the only person able to physically hold eddie down when he’s all wired up

-was on the wrestling team in middle school

-grant has a girlfriend named jessica who’s in the chess club and the mathletes and they’ve been dating since 7th grade

-he has an older sister, gwyneth, who’s 10 years older, married, and has two kids (he’s an uncle to his niece, 4, and his nephew, 3)

-grant’s dad passed when he was 2 while serving in the military so he has no memory of him and has been raised by a single mom

-his mom is AWESOME, she’s a chef at a restaurant up in indy so she’s constantly bringing home leftovers and sending grant to his friends with tupperware of home cooked meals

-grant was named after his dad and used to want to go into the army to follow him before he started to distrust the government come 8th grade

-his bass came from his grandfather on his dad’s side who, despite living across the country, would fly over and help out as much as he could when things got too much for beth (his mom)

-if music doesn’t work out, he’s considered being a pilot or going to work with his mom in the restaurant business

-he’s the friend that waits for you to tie your shoe while everyone else keeps going on ahead

-sometimes jessica will play a campaign with them and she crushes absolutely everyone involved

-he 100% has a pet lizard named henrietta and is allergic to dogs

-also has a peanut allergy

-he is just as important as the rest of his friend group

[darkimpala1897]

Steve coming home to his apartment, Eddie is just sitting on the couch.

Steve: "Jesus!"

Eddie smiling smugly.

Eddie: "You really should have locks on your windows."

Steve putting his stuff down.

Steve: "I live on the second floor."

Eddie shrugs.

Eddie: "Rapists can climb."

Gareth coming out of the kitchen with a bowl of cereal.

Gareth: "You really need frosted flakes, not this off brand crap."

Steve looking towards Gareth so confused.

Steve: "When did you get here?"

Jeff who was sitting in Steve's recliner turns on a lamp so Steve can see him.

Jeff: "He got here before us actually."

Kevin walking out of the guest room with a blanket around him.

Kevin: "Actually I got here first, then Gareth."

Steve so confused and questioning how in the hell four people got in without setting off the alarm.

Steve: "Yea just make yourself at home, I'm so dreaming. This is a dream I fell asleep somehow."

Andy who was behind Steve also munching on cereal.

Andy: "Nah, your not dreaming but Gareth's right you need some frosted flakes up in this bitch."

Make that five.

[straight4joekeery]

I love when writing fics that feature corroded coffin we’ve decided that:

Eddie: literally insane

Gareth: mean girl

Jeff: nicest person on the planet earth

The other guy: he’s just there

[mrsjellymunson]

🎸Get Lucky🎸

Written for the @corrodedcoffinfest day 18 prompt, ‘Freak’ | WC: 1000 | Rating: T | POV: Grant/unnamed freak | CW: longing, self-deprecation, ogling, allusions to sex | Tags: Eddie, Gareth, Jeff, Grant, The Hideout | Summary: One member of Corroded Coffin gets lucky after a gig, and another doesn’t 😕

They each have their own favourite places in The Hideout.

Gareth’s is at the bar, loving the camaraderie with their fans as much as the booze behind it.

Jeff’s is his spot on stage. He adores the buzz from the crowd, and the validation he feels.

Eddie’s is the dingy bathroom - if he’d marked the wall for each conquest that he’d taken back there, he could’ve redecorated by now.

Grant’s favourite space is the ‘green room’, an overly-optimistic description of the messy back area which stores everything from band equipment to St Patrick’s Day decorations. He chills there after performances, basking in the endorphins and reflecting on gigs well played.

Tonight, Grant looks out over the crowd. And he gets it, he really does. With Eddie’s looks and irrepressible charm, Gareth’s manic but endearing persona, and Jeff’s softness and charisma, he understands that he’s not the greatest catch out of the bunch.

But when he glances out this evening, and spots a pretty girl in a floral dress looking completely out of her depth in the throng of black-clad metal fans, he can’t help but feel a twinge of longing.

Even though he knows he barely has any chance, he flits his eyes to her once more, before dropping them back to his instrument, where they remain for most of the night.

The gig goes well, their individual talents coalescing well, creating an impressive whole. Eddie’s his usual manic self, striding around the small stage and commanding attention. Gareth’s hammering on his drums, always giving it his all like there’s a music exec in the building. Jeff only has eyes for his girl - she’s a few feet from his side of the stage, safely away from the jostling bodies, her growing bump a testament to their love.

And Grant? He’s diligently playing his instrument, bobbing his head and occasionally stamping a foot, soaking up the cheering and fans singing along, but rarely looking out into the crowd.

Eddie is eyeing the girls, as always. Grant watches as the pretty girl squeezes her way to the front, slipping beneath leather-clad elbows and between sweaty bodies. Not a typical Hideout-goer, her dress is hardly comparable to the tight shirts and denim favoured by most of the female clientele. But it showcases her cleavage nicely (not that he’s deliberately looking, he would never) and makes her stand out in her own way. He chances one more look, fancying that there’s something familiar about her, but without the confidence to properly catch her eye he can’t be sure.

She bops and sways and pushes her elbows together, gazing at Eddie through her lashes. It certainly gets his attention, and Grant notices that Eddie spends at least half the gig looking in her direction. Another conquest.

The boys finish their set and Eddie immediately jumps offstage. Taking her gently by an elbow, he murmurs low in her ear,

“Hey, sweet thing. You look a little lost down here. You wanna go somewhere a little quieter?”

She nods sweetly, clearly under his thrall, and Grant swallows back the bile that rises in the back of his throat. He can’t believe she’s fallen for Eddie’s shallow bullshit, but he has to admit he has game - it almost never fails. He’s not generally a jealous guy, but he can’t help the feeling that someone so seemingly sweet deserves better than… this.

Grant heads swiftly down the narrow corridor to the sanctuary of the green room, hoping to avoid hearing any of what Eddie’s about to do. But just as he reaches the doorway, he hears his name being called. He turns, bewildered, to see the girl in the floral dress standing directly in front of him.

“Wh-?”

“Hi Grant, I don’t know if you remember me? We had math and geography classes together in high school.”

Grant doesn’t say anything. He just stares, like she’s grown an extra head.

He watches her face fall. Is she realising this is all a horrendous mistake? He manages to softly say her name, continuing,

“Remember you? O- of course I do! You sat in front of me for two years, how could I not remember you?”

He smiles then, and his eyes twinkle as his full cheeks lift up. She reciprocates, and he thinks it’s the sweetest smile he’s ever seen. He’s confused, however.

“But, how do you remember me?”

“You don’t have classes with someone for two years and not pick up a thing or two. Like how you’re really cute, and have a great sense of humour. How kind and generous you are with your friends, and how you’ve looked after the younger sheep. How you have a pet rabbit, and you love it more than anything, but you never tell people about it because you think it’s not ‘metal’. And how I’ve had a crush on you since you lent me a pencil when mine broke just before a test, and you never asked for it back. And I came here tonight to see if you wanted to, maybe, hook up sometime.”

She huffs out a breath, like she’s relieved to have finally said it aloud.

Eddie’s aghast in the narrow hallway, never having been cockblocked by anyone before, let alone a bandmate. Grant’s eyes flick between them as he stammers,

“But… aren't… you two…?”

“No, silly. You wouldn’t look at me all night, so I had to come up with another way of getting back here. I figured flirting with the horny front man would work, and it did. Didn’t it, big boy?”

She flashes a glance at Eddie, who’s standing there gaping like a fish.

There’s a few seconds of silence while everyone processes. Finally realising she needs a response, Grant, smiling again, finds the courage to mumble,

“You… really think I’m cute?”

She slips her hand into his, and, pulling him past a still-gaping Eddie into Eddie’s favourite room, she murmurs,

“Why don’t you come in here with me, and find out…?”

Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it.

Thanks for organising this event @corrodedcoffinfest, this was a very enjoyable prompt! 🖤🖤🖤

Extremely cool divider by @strangergraphics

My general taglist (open): @joejoequinnquinn @jamdoughnutmagician @guiltyasquinn @madaboutmunson @airen256 @sunshinepeachx @the-unforgivenn @skrzydlak @comeonatmebruh @jamiecb66 @80s-addict @abellmunsonmovie @definitionwanderlust @sheneedsrocknroll92 @munson-blurbs @wonderlanddreamer @daisy-munson @maedesculpaeusoubi @kurdtbean

[bisexual-cryptid]

i’m almost positive someone has done this but i can’t stop thinking about that one scene in friends with steddie.

steve and eddie have been secretly dating for awhile now, but they haven’t told anyone sans robin. one day steve is dropping eddie off at band practice because he spent the night at steve’s and would be late if he went back to his trailer beforehand.

steve walks eddie to the garage, because he is a good boyfriend and it also means they get to spend more time together.

“have a good practice, baby. i love you,” steve says before leaning in and pecking eddie on the lips, eddie kissing back easily. the two of them come to the realization of what they did at the same time, their eyes going wide. steve thinks quick one his feet, walking over to the balking gareth and taking his face in his hands.

“have a good practice, i love you.” steve repeats before leaning in to place a peck on gareth’s unmoving lips. he repeats his mantra and kiss with the remaining two members of corroded coffin, all of them looking at him like he’s crazy. steve claps his hands once, startling them a little.

“welp, that’s my cue. see you all on the flip flop.” steve says awkwardly, saluting them as he quickly walks back to his car. the band is left staring after him, each of them with matching blushes on their face and a general attitude of ‘what the fuck just happened.’

[piastrinorris]

okay friends i would like to see some more communal fandom lore and so!! we all know this guy, right?

there's been a poll going around fairly recently about what the poor sod's name is, since he never got one (justice for freak #1) and i think we ought to expand on his lore a little more, since it's what he deserves and fuck knows the duffels aren't going to give him any more context

so we know jeff graduates in 1986. gareth's got another year and a half left. but our unnamed pal here got missed out of that lore drop, too, and so therefore:

feel free to also add what your name is for him in the tags! it'll be interesting to see if there's any patterns between what people think his name is vs how old he is 😊

[gingervitis69420]

I left off some genres that felt either too early, too late, or too geographically specific.

[resident-gay-bitch]

This is kinda trending I guess for the marauders at the moment but I haven’t seen it for these guys yet, sooooo I thought, why not?! I’m curious!!

Let’s not come at how unconventional my handwriting is idc

Also I’m doing another one for the little dweebs because I’m so curious!!!

[1lostsoul0fishbowl]

shoutout to my two favorite nameless bassists 💕

[thestobingirlie]

the whole thing about vickie not having a personality is such a joke when a huge chunk of this fandom is obsessed with the corroded coffin boys (or really just gareth) who barely speak in the few scenes they are in. not to mention the obsession w chrissy who we don't actually know much more about, like she's a nice popular cheerleader w an eating disorder who dated jason. that's it. vickie is in band, has a quirky molly ringwald inspired sense of style, shares stobin's sense of humor, loves fast times, rambles when she's nervous, is willing to stay in hawkins after everything, broke up w her boyfriend bc he wasn't, and thinks that she should have broken up w her boyfriend when he revealed the red flag of not liking fast times. i feel like there's actually a lot more to say about vickie.

the corroded coffin boys play hellfire and an instrument, and that’s it. chrissy has an ed and a bad mum and is nice? and that’s it. like… they’re pretty flat, they’re just side characters. that’s not a bad thing! and obviously people are allowed to add depth to these characters.

but when it comes to vickie, who is also a side character but like you said does have a lot more to her character, she gets tossed aside and shat on. do what you want, no one has to like her. but she has a personality!! you don’t have to care about it, but she does.

[darkimpala1897]

Random Corroded Coffin slash Steddie thoughts I had.

Gareth he one time ate a whole bowl of display grapes, he was so sick for weeks.

Jeff got high as balls once and thought he was spider man and tried climbing up the wall ended up breaking his wrist.

Eddie tried balancing books on his head because he saw it in a TV show once and he just absolutely smacked himself into a wall Steve was laughing for hours.

Kevin got his words mixed up and called Steve Daddy he was completely mortified for weeks.

Andy made the kitchen explode literally, he's no longer allowed in the kitchen.

Steve he one time decided to look down a barrel of a nerf gun and nearly shot his own eye out.

Eddie decided to slide down the banister totally forgetting there was a post at the end of it, he ended up absolutely smacking the shit out of his balls.

Gareth set off a paint bomb on Eddie and Steve except he had it turned the wrong way and Steve had to hose him down outside.

Jeff mistook a glue stick for chapstick and glued his lips together for about three hours Steve had to help him get unstuck.

Kevin one time said fuck you instead of bless you and now literally everyone says fuck you instead of bless you.

[fvcking-panda]

Me reading the whole Flight of Icarus tag just to find some person mentioning the only fucking piece of information i will take as canon be like:

I JUST WANT TO KNOW FREAK REAL NAME DAMMIT

[findafight]

Maybe some good will come from the flight of Icarus book and unnamed freak will finally... Be named

[putting-eddie-munson-in-places]

corroded coffin versions by popular demand

sounds about right

(alt versions below the cut!)