#especially with the amount of episodes not even reaching 10

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Okay I thought Loki S1 Steelbook going for £40 in CEX was a-lot, but DW 2024 S1 steelbook already being listed online at £59.99?! What the fuck?!

[lune-moon-nuit]

Thoughts about Mike I had last week while watching the middle of season 4

While watching Season 4 last week (yes, I’m extremely late to the party), I’m truly astonished at how misunderstood Mike is by much of the fandom and the general audience. It’s clear that Mike from Seasons 3 and 4 often comes across as an awkward idiot who can hurt others with his words or actions—particularly Will and El. This starkly contrasts with how he behaved in Seasons 1 and 2. However, it seems people overlook an important factor: Mike is now a teenager. A teenager who already carries a significant amount of trauma yet isn’t in a position to complain, because he has always been the friend or boyfriend supporting the “main victim” of the story.

Mike was traumatized by Will’s disappearance, by the abnormal events and creatures that turned their lives and town upside down. He has witnessed countless deaths—just in the episode I recently finished in Season 4, he literally watched a government agent die right in front of him after barely surviving a shootout, and he even helped bury the body himself alongside Jonathan, Will and Argyle. Let’s not forget that Mike has also come close to death multiple times. The list of what he’s endured is long. Yet through all of it, he was just a child, then a teenager.

While it’s true he’s sometimes hurtful or clumsy in his behavior toward El—primarily out of awkwardness—people forget that this is his first romantic relationship. And not just any relationship: one forged under extraordinary circumstances. El herself couldn’t initially distinguish between familial love and romantic love, and Mike was subtly pushed into seeing El romantically, thanks to a heteronormative society and remarks like Lucas’s, which suggested a boy taking care of a girl must mean he “likes” her. After all, in such an environment, a boy and girl can’t just share a bond of care without romantic undertones.

Another critical detail the fandom seems to overlook relates to Will. In Season 1, at just 10 to 12 years old, Mike had suicidal thoughts. He literally jumped off a cliff, unaware that El would use her powers to save him. He had no idea. He made a deliberate choice to jump, hiding behind the bully’s threat toward Dustin. But let’s be honest—anyone with a natural survival instinct wouldn’t so easily choose to leap to their death, even under pressure. Mike knew he had no chance of surviving that fall. It was deliberate.

So we must ask: What drives a 12-year-old boy to feel so hopeless, despite having friends and a family who love him? By now, we know that Mike, alongside Will, was a target of relentless bullying, much of it homophobic. Even Mike’s father made homophobic remarks in Season 1, adding pressure that Mike likely didn’t fully comprehend. At the cliffside, hope for finding Will alive was nearly gone. Mike had lost all hope. I genuinely believe that for him to have reached that point, the weight of his struggles was far heavier than we realized.

Mike has suffered immensely. He was already dealing with significant psychological distress in Season 1, which continued to accumulate. In Season 1, his focus was on finding Will. In Season 2, it was on protecting and saving Will. In Season 3, he acted like a “normal” teenager, but he was still targeted—being threatened violently by an adult who lashed out simply because Mike was behaving like any other boyfriend with El. Instead of questioning the why behind his actions, people just blamed him. In Season 4, rather than asking why Mike struggles to express his love for El, the audience blames him for supposedly not loving her enough.

But if Mike is confused—if he struggles to articulate his feelings—why is that? Mike has always been the devoted friend and boyfriend, but the series rarely highlights the immense psychological toll this has taken on him. His reactions, in truth, are quite logical and normal. Especially when you consider the more-than-plausible theory that Mike is either bisexual or homosexual. His internalized homophobia, combined with societal pressure in the 1980s, the fear of judgment, the fear of himself, and his confusion about his own feelings, all align perfectly with his behavior in Seasons 3 and 4. After all, adolescence is when most people begin to explore their sexual identity, desire, and emotions.

Take his words to Will, where he mentions their meeting in kindergarten as “the best thing that ever happened to him.”Mike’s connection to Will is profound. But being a gay teenager in the 1980s—while also not wanting to hurt El, whom he deeply cares for and feels responsible toward—would mean he’s carrying immense self-hatred, frustration, anger, fear, anxiety, depression, guilt, and the overwhelming sense of being “wrong” (a feeling Will also experiences).

All of this makes me believe that Season 5 could greatly benefit from focusing on Mike by making him Vecna’s target. Vecna would have plenty to exploit: Mike’s traumas, his unspoken suffering, and his struggles with his sexuality. It would be a perfect way to force Mike to confront who he is and what he feels for Will—while also allowing Will to learn the truth. Such a storyline would introduce rich internal conflict, both for Mike and for their relationship.

Considering how explicitly queer-coded Mike is in Season 4, it would be an enormous waste not to explore this as a central narrative thread in Season 5. Doing so would not only bring Will and Mike’s relationship to the forefront but would also give us a deeper look into Mike’s psyche—all the pain he has endured silently, all the while remaining loyal and supportive toward Will and El. Mike has worried for them, searched for them, protected them, and fought for them. It’s time the series recognizes that, even without powers, Mike is the heart of the group. Without him, everything falls apart.

[baileybeez]

My Top Ten Favorite Bumbleby Moments (My Opinion Obviously)

10. All Fight Scenes

I know I'm technically cheating on this one but whenever these two fight, I know I'm in for a good time. And all of them have been superb. These two are in sync without even communicating with each other. They know each other's abilities and know how to work together well in combat.

9. We're Protecting Each Other

This was a 'you had to be there' moment. It was insane. Even knowing these two would eventually confront Adam, the way they did it blew my mind. I loved seeing these two stand up together to confront Adam and become each other's strength's. They had each other's backs in this moment and were going to do it together.

8. We Were There For Each Other

This moment lived in my head rent free for months after the episode came out. They held hands before this to comfort each other during stressful times. Like Blake reaching out to apologize to Yang when she lost her arm and Blake reaching out when Yang's hand started to shake because of Adam. But this time, Yang reached for Blake in a moment of peace. After everything that happened, she forgave Blake and accepted her after everything they went through together. And all she wanted to do was just hold her hand again.

7. Volume 8 Reunion

The amount of gushing I and many others did during this moment was crazy. We were starved for Bumbleby interactions in Volume 8, especially after Volume 7 did so many with them both. After 24 hours of craziness, the two are at peace once again. Blake at first is worried since they did separate missions Yang might be mad that they didn't work together. But all Yang did to reassure her was smile and the two touched foreheads and later embraced each other. It was such a sweet moment.

6. Date Night

Volume 7 had so many good little bee moments that were adorable and I'm a sucker for fluff. Blake getting her new hair and Yang struggling to compliment it, the selfie, Blake falling asleep on Yang's lap with Yang holding her etc. But the two going to a club and off handedly mentioning they're gonna ignore Team FNKI just to have their own fun. You two can just call it a date, we won't judge lol. With Yang trying to teach Blake how to dance and Blake struggling to learn while laughing. I love how whenever Yang cracks a joke, she looks at Blake because she wants to make sure she see's Blake laughing. Not to mention Nora's comments later in the episode.

"Blake and Yang are off doing they're own thing again."

"Friends huh? Just friends?"

"Two people who have gone through that much? I think there's more going on."

And I will forever be mad RT didn't show us them at their date.

5. The Burning Candle

Ya'll this was the spark that ignited the ship. Not only is the Burning Candle just a great episode but it's an amazing moment for Blake and Yang. We get to see these two open up and communicate their wants and desires. With Yang telling Blake about her past and trying to help Blake so she doesn't push herself too far. And then of course at the end Yang gives her that wink and says 'I'll save you a dance'. Then we later see the two dancing. It was also the first time we saw Blake laughing and happy and it was all because of Yang. Yang who just asked for a dance in return for helping Blake and opening up about her past. I was sold on this ship when this episode came out.

4. How Disarming ~

The gay in my brain would not stop buzzing at this moment. It's amazing seeing how much Blake was the one openly flirting and initiating playful touch. There's a great post by @wixhing0nastar going over Blake's body language throughout the volumes. How a lot of the times Blake is more closed off in her posture, like how she holds herself. But here, she's leaning into to Yang's space and just playfully nudging her. She's not holding back. Also I swear I could hear Blake purr when she said 'How disarming'. Like my breath got caught in my throat. And then when Weiss said 'About time'. I knew this volume had to be the one where they finally get together.

3. Volume 9 Reunion

This is my favorite reunion of Bumbleby. Especially since we had to wait for so long for these two to be reunited. Blake was distraught last volume as she failed to save Yang and thought Yang died in front of her. Yang who had always been there to help her and fight by her side. And the first thing Blake does when she gets a free chance is to tackle hug Yang and hug her tightly. Softly whispering Yang in both disbelief and joy. And Yang simply holds her to reassure her like she did in Volume 8. Honestly, if Weiss and Ruby weren't there they would have probably stayed like that for hours lol.

2. I'm Not Gonna Break My Promise

This used to be my favorite Bumbleby moment of all time and for good reason. Blake and Yang had killed Adam. The first thing Blake does is weep and fall to her knees. She's gone through so much and much of it had to do with him. Her torment of him is over and the person she once knew was dead. And Yang wordlessly just holds her and lets Blake cry. Blake finally gets out that she won't break her promise and swears it. Earlier Adam had mockingly told Yang that Blake made a promise to him once and that she didn't follow through with it. And even earlier in the volume Blake had promised to be there if they faced him. Yang has seen Blake stood by her words with her actions. And just reassures Blake she knows Blake won't break her promise. No more words are exchanged as the two just hold each other and Blake just cries more.

The Confession and Kiss

Was anyone really surprised? I know I wasn't. I loved the number 2 moment on my list so much. But I knew as soon as we got the confession and kiss scene it would more than likely take my top spot. It was all a matter of how it was executed and it was done spectacularly. There's many essays and write ups on why this scene was so good so I apologize if I don't add much to the conversation.

But Blake and Yang are stuck in a punderstorm and are trying to figure out how to get out. With them eventually figuring out they need to say things about each other they've never said before. At this point the two have only really said cute things to each other and then Blake comes out with.

'I think....you're an extraordinary person.'

Honest to god I was already getting emotional from just that as Blake goes in some more. Talking about how Yang does what she says, she brightens others around her and is always brave even when she's scared. The looks and the song Worthy playing in the background only add to how monumental this moment was for me. With Yang talking about how she liked how Blake wasn't intimidated by her even back when they didn't get along. She also talks about how Blake doesn't give up on people even when other people hurt her and she never gives up because she knows what matters to her. Blake has tried to help others and has sometimes failed but she has tried to push through despite labeling herself as a coward. But Yang see's a person always trying to do what's best for the people she loves.

Then we get this moment.

These are my favorite expressions of the whole scene. It's so wholesome, pure and full of love in every detail. At this point the two know what needs to be said but Yang is at first hesitant and the bridge between them widens. Blake asks if Yang thought of something then didn't say it and Yang is so bashful as she is realizing she needs to say those three words. But Yang is scared, she compares it to a cliff and if she goes through with it she'll fall. I've always headcannoed that Yang's greatest fear is letting those she loves down. And that ties into how she fell at Beacon and fell in Volume 8. It can also tie to her with the aftermath of Mercury and feeling she let her team down. She's scared she won't be good enough and will lose it all. It also similarly ties into her abandonment issues.

But Blake points out, they're already falling. Their emotions aren't going to go away just because they're scared. They're already worried for each other when they're fighting to save the world and two thought they were dead last volume. With Blake thinking Yang died and she failed to save her. So Blake encourages Yang gently by telling her to say it.

And after a heavy sigh, Yang confesses with Blake jumping in before she can finish as the two say I love you. The bridge that separated them is gone and they're together. They look at each other with blushing cheeks with Worthy playing in the background. They pull into each other, Blake slowly smiling as they get closer and kiss each other. White lilies sprout from under them as the while lily symbolizes rebirth and rejuvenation of the soul. The flowers are also used at weddings and can also mean purity. It's such a perfect flower to fit this perfect this scene.

And there you have it, my top ten Bumbleby moments. There were lots of moments to choose from and so many of the ones I love unfortunately didn't make it on this list. So here are some honorable mentions down below.

[flower-boi16]

Considering how the latest episode has been out for almost a month and so far hasn’t even been able to reach 10 million views I really think it’s safe to say that a lot of fans are starting to lose interest in the series especially after Full Moon and Apology Tour.

Like, the amount of discourse those episodes spawned was bigger than anything that came before and I think it got a lot of people to REALLY examine Stolas as a character and Stolitz a lot more. The discourse from those episodes was a complete storm of previous points people have been making being given a higher voice and fans scrambling to defend the writing as usual.

After those two episodes which both have 14 million views as of writing this post, it’s definitely not a big surprise that the latest episode has under preformed immensely. The viewership is at an all time low and Viv is being forced to rely on merch sales to make money of the show now (notice how there have been far more merch drops than there use to now as merch drops are now happening immediately after an episode is released). Being honest, by the time we reach season 3, I don’t really know if the show is going to be able to reach even five million views.

Remembering all the controversial and divisive writing decisions season 2 has taken, it’s not a surprise this is happening.

[4-the-l0ve-0f-art]

I keep on getting burnout from love and deepspace so here are my thoughts on why I dislike the gacha mechanics in this game so much!!

Now, I KNOW what I signed up for. It's gacha. It's literally a pay 2 play concept but that doesn't stop me from complaining 😔✊

Most of the games ive played long-term are gacha (granted most have been hoyo games which are known to be more f2p friendly compared to other gacha games) but i genuinely dislike LADS in particular for varying reasons

Don't get me wrong, the game is absolutely amazing. The storytelling, graphics, gameplay itself whether it's combat or playing through memories is literal art and they've made their characters come to life unlike any other game. But i hate how quickly infold releases their banners and cycles through events

That in itself wouldn't be a problem if:

There were more ways to get gems. There's literally no way to get gems aside from abyssal chaos (which has limited gems which you get through quickly if you play daily) and daily/weekly commissions. Even the events barely give you anything unless it's a free 4 star log-in event which is great! But there's not much of a game to play there aside from playing through the audio story once you get the card. There's also the gems you get from completing orbits but we'll get to the issue with that later

The amount of time spent grinding for gems or even paying to get the card doesn't seem worth it at all. (I'm f2p so i can't exactly speak for players who spend money on the game but I'm sure there's complaints there too from their own perspective)

Let's say you spent an hour daily on the game, doing daily quests and weekly minigames to get gems/chocolates, or spend lots of money to get a card, for what? A 10-15 minute story with sped up audio and movement in EN? And barely any lore or voiced mc? (What was the voice customization option for if you're not gonna use it?) Varying/inaccurate translations between languages?

The issue with getting gems from the orbit trials:

You need to level up your cards as you get to higher levels in the trials. But there is way less resources available and no way to farm them (locked behind stamina) to actually be able to level up your cards especially once you reach around 60-70 levels

It takes weeks, and i repeat WEEKS to get enough of those bottle thingies to level up your card once you reach level 80. For a single card. Forget about leveling up your cards for all the LIs, you can't even do it for one.

No resources to level up = no way to earn gems. No way to earn gems = no way to pull for cards in a card based game (do you see the problem?)

My 3rd issue with the banners being cycled through too quickly is:

There is no gameplay if you're not able to pull for cards. There is literally nothing to do except wait for the main storyline to update, which took half a year to start expanding into the LI branches since the game released

Even when it did started releasing, the quality of it was just.. Unexpectedly low. It wasn't horrible by any means, but the sped up audio and movement (again? In the main storyline this time?) And no voiced mc (where did that go? Wasn't she voiced in the starting?) And did I mention the quad and solo banners completely unrelated to the main storyline being released at the same time?

So much of their lore is locked behind myth cards. The issue with myth cards is there is no way to get the limited myth pairs once the banners have ended because it's almost been an year and they haven't introduced any rerun mechanism yet. Not to mention you need to upgrade your cards to play through the myth episodes which you can't do if there aren't enough ways to get resources.

That's literally it. The problems are repetitive and interconnected and i love the characters so much but i get burn out easily because of the issues faced which I personally don't think are worth experiencing to literally just play the game 😞

Real footage of me yapping to a wall LMAO

I just like to be greedy with my games atp

[charmac]

is there any season that you'd say does the best (or worst) at character development for the gang? personally, i've always thought that season 1 did wonders in helping the audience understand the gang's individual characters (minus frank) right away, but i'm interested in your opinion on the topic

Season 10 absolutely, 100%. It’s my favourite season of Sunny (and one of my favourite seasons of television ever), especially for the fact that it does so much insane character work in its span of ten episodes.

I don’t want to discount seasons before it, there’s an insane amount of foundational work that should be mentioned, but Season 10 being a milestone they never thought they would reach really sticks out as a major turn in the idea that the Gang don’t “develop” as characters by making the Gang face their own devolution. I've written about how Misses the Boat touches on this on the Paddy's Pub Blog, but Season 10 really as a whole just turns a lot more inward to the characters.

Charlie Work rotates around one of the Gang's schemes while having quite literally nothing to do with the scheme at all and everything to do with Charlie's character. This is the perfect example as to how the whole season operates, pushing the characters ahead of the plots, the schemes are just background work to revolve around. (Really, this is how the show operates a chunk of the time, but Season 10 is really really telling you that.)

It's hard to talk about each individual character without spiralling and trying to hit every S10 episode for everyone, but in brief summary: Frank unearths his own childhood trauma and starts to understand he's running out of time here; Dennis is diagnosed and his mask starts slipping more and more as he's forced to face (and attempt to disregard) how he is seen by outsiders; Mac is no longer able to front to himself that he's into women and he destroys his relationship with his father one step further; Charlie really sees he's viewed as less-than by Mac and Dennis and grows much more persistent to (dis)prove Frank is his father; Dee is shown as an even more 'successful' predator than Dennis, though just as pathetic at each turn.

All of this is not only built off what their characters were, but really are the very central parts of their characters that they clearly keep in mind as we push into the later seasons. (Arguably every character is still grappling with these core issues except Mac.)

(Briefly on worst season for character development, I think 13 is kind of the obvious choice. While there are some things I think they did well and are built on later (i.e. Bathroom Problem), episodes like The Gang Wins the Big Game are a prime example of how Sunny does not work well when the whole basis of an episode has nothing to do with the characters and everything to do with the plot. There was really negative character work done there, imo.)

I think it's funny you mention Season 1 for character development, because while I think it’s so so insanely essential to watch (and understand) as a foundation for the show and who the characters become, those versions of the characters are pretty distant from the Gang to me. Season 1 reads very much as Rob’s original idea: these are the worst versions of themselves; characters, but still a little too clearly RCG. Season 2 took those guys and built on them to create actual characters outside of themselves as terrible people, but I don't see the Gang as fully formed individuals until ~S4 (which I think RCG have mostly (?) admitted as much on TASP, lol)

Obviously every season contributes a lot to the characters as we know them, and some do a lot more for certain characters than others, so these are just my personal opinions... But I will argue for the rest of time that Season 10 is that bitch (and the best example of who the characters are).

[fullscoreshenanigans]

I wonder how much Sisters are in the HQ. Because even if the selection is hard, a lot much sucess.

Isabella's orphenage ship 6 children by year, so 6 new kids must be given to her.

There are 5/6 orphenages for Grace Field. So 30/36 children shipped by year and 30/36 new given to the orphenage. EVERY YEAR. So even if it's sure that the Sisters gave birth of more than one child (only the Mother can have only on).

Because if 30/36 children must be given by year to orphenages, 30/36 must waiting their turn in the nursery and as much sister must be pregnant. I think that every sister has the right to take a break after a pregnacy.

For Exemple if Sienna is the mother of both Emma and Carol, seen there are more or less 10 years between them, it probably mean that there had at least one kid between them. Maybe more.

So i think that, even if the selection is rude, a lot of girls survives. Because if they need 30/36 new babies by years...

And it's just Grace Field. It must be worse at Great Vallley (especially that Barton must have took a lot of children for his huting ground)

[Response to this ask]

I'm not sure where you're getting all moms having only one child being common from?

From your previous ask:

Isabella is an anomaly when it comes to moms in that she's the youngest one to ever be selected in the history of at least the current incarnation of Grace Field that's been around for roughly 400 years.

(Mystic Code Book Chapter 1 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 181.2 | Chapter 181.3) Her excellent test scores at the farm and later at headquarters combined with favoritism from Sarah led to her placement being expedited. With there being an extremely limited number of mom positions, most sisters (because they're all sisters first, Isabella being the exception and not the rule) are left waiting for years, and this is what results in them having multiple children if they don't retrain for another path, not that moms are limited to having a single child. If anything, you'd think they'd want more children bred from those who reach that position, so the time spent waiting for spots to open up would be beneficial for the demons. Sarah had enough sway to persuade those in charge to get a recent graduate of the sister training in there, though, so Isabella was able to skip to the front of the wait list.

And it's confirmed there's five plants plus headquarters for Grace Field.

(Chapter 29 | Chapter 100 | S1 Episode 4)

So assuming there are no oddities, they're averaging 30 kids per year between the five, and if each plant maintains the same number of children plant no.3 normally does, there's around 190 kids at a given time outside of Grace Field headquarters prior to Isabella taking over as grandma when she reduces the number of shipments beginning in mid-January 2046, which is kind of wild given how low it is already.

(Chapter 181.3)

So I think that, even if the selection is rude, a lot of girls survives. Because if they need 30/36 new babies by years...

The second light novel does say this, yes.

Even if it's hard to calculate exactly how that math works out with how gleeful Sarah seems about eliminating Cecile and Krone's entire class, along with not having any information about how often the moms are recommending girls for sister candidacy.

(Chapter 181.2)

Chapter 166's bonus sketch gives us headquarters' layout, but no listing of how many people it accommodates, though it does look massive between this and the amount of running around the kids do in the Return to Grace Field arc.

It must be worse at Grand Valley (especially that Bayon must have took a lot of children for his hunting ground)

To be fair, those children were going to be eaten regardless, so Bayon Sr. taking some for his hunting grounds isn't altering the general death count, just where it's being distributed.

(Chapter 84 | Mystic Code Book Chapter 7 Series Timeline)

Sometime between 1801–1900, Bayon is looking so miserable some of the staff of the farms he's in charge of start shipping children to him alive.

I'm defaulting to this being at Yverk's or Leuvis' behest—Yverk as a means of keeping Bayon comfortable in order to maintain the status quo of Legravalima's regime, Leuvis as a means of satisfying the hunger he knows still resides in his friend—but maybe they just decided to do it on their own because of how bad he looked, who can say.

Regardless, he's approached by another party to begin his hunts, and it isn't until he's given this push that he gives into his impulses again when he told Leuvis centuries ago he was committed to upholding the promise, in a similar manner to how we see Bayon Jr. adhere to upholding decorum and duty during the gathering for Tifari in 2047.

Bayon Sr. starts off with one human every three months, but after that it's hard to gauge exactly how the numbers ramped up. Over two hundred years, it was in the hundreds to potentially thousands.

I'm assuming it maxed out between five and ten at a time, though. Enough of a significant gap where Bayon accepts Peter's offer to use Goldy Pond, originally meant to be a village of refuge for escaped cattle children in James' plan, as his new hunting ground starting in late 2031 with more humans and supplies being available to him.

(Chapter 98)

63 - 17 (15 Grace Field escapees and 2 adults not counted among the Goldy Pond population by Bayon) = 46 children who escaped from Goldy Pond on January 29, 2046 after a hunt had taken place the previous day. We don't know how many children are killed during regular hunts, but I'm guessing they would keep the population between 50 and 60 at any given time. Enough of a thrill to entice Bayon to take Peter's offer, not enough between the 18 farms he supervised or was in charge of to give unaware staff pause to want to stick their noses into noble business because the yield between them was vast enough to make it negligible.

(Mystic Code Book Chapter 3)

Grand Valley, Glory Bell, and Goodwill Ranch are large enough that the demons don't invest in implanting trackers in the children like at Grace Field because it's too costly, though once the mass production farms begin during Peter's tenure as the 36th head of the Ratri Clan, the minuscule dent Bayon's hunts put on Grand Valley's output is even less conspicuous.

[amysubmits]

Loving your podcast (except the amount of “ums” used in every sentence ;) )! I shared it with my husband as we venture into our dd/ds journey. It’s very refreshing to hear a real couple and their real perspectives from fetish/kink POV’s. I know you’ve talked a lot about your DD and spanking fetish; but how did you actually start/come out to CD about these things? What was his initial reaction?

Sorry for the late reply, I was a bit triggered by your 'joke' about my overuse of "ums". I believe in at least one podcast episode I addressed how I am self-conscious about how I am not a graceful speaker and how it makes editing difficult because I am not a linear speaker or thinker. I lose my train of thought frequently, struggle to find words, etc. So, I do say 'um' excessively, it's way worse IRL than on the podcast as we edited the vast majority of them out. Not all can be removed as it would break the flow of conversation or whatever else. We tried to edit to make things a little more cohesive and easier to listen to. So, yeah, what I basically got from your message was 'this person finds you annoying even when your way of speaking is cleaned up more than 50%' and that's painful even though it's true, I wish you hadn't told me that as I can't really do anything about it, it's just part of how my ADHD or other neurodivergence works. I felt like I should respond to that portion as I'm working on using my voice to defending myself, being less of a people pleaser, accepting myself and having more self-compassion/respect, etc. But I don't want to dwell so, moving on to the far more enjoyable part of your ask!

I think I've shared how I 'came out' to CD at some point in the past but I don't recall what blog post(s) that would have been in. If I come across them later I'll try to reblog for you. It's now been about 10 years since I asked for DD, and I had told CD about my interest in spanking prior to that, though I don't really recall when that was. So, my memory is not super detailed at this point but I'll try to give a general idea.

As wild as this is, he playfully spanked me before we were officially dating. About a week before he'd ask me to be his girlfriend, we went to the grocery store to hang out because that's all that is open in our town after like 7pm so we'd just go walk around the store sometimes when we were friends. And this day I had attended a funeral and I was still wearing a dress but I had switched into some flip-flops so my feet would be more comfortable. And as we're walking around I decided to buy some chips, but the ones I wanted were on a higher shelf and I am short, so I stepped on one of the lower shelves to get myself high enough to reach the chips I wanted, but one of my flip-flops fell off and he grabbed it while I was still up on the shelf and used it to swat my butt. I think basically in response to seeing that he was open to that sort of play (literally meaning play, no sexual connotation) I started leaning into that sort of play fighting, play wrestling kinda rough housing stuff with him and I'd slap his ass to get him to retaliate. He'd always do this harder, so I'd fight back harder, and I think it was after we were officially dating, but it eventually advanced to him using my belt on me over my pants! But it was all very giggly and playful. In hindsight, this sort of play probably should have made it clear to both of us that we were playing with spanking as a kink but it was never overtly sexual so I had compartmentalized it as just, innocent play. Haha.

I'm REALLY guessing here, but I think we had probably been dating at least six months before I actually told him I was into spanking. He's always had an easier time being open and direct with conversations in general, but especially sexual ones, than I have been. So pretty early on he would try to ask me questions to get a better understanding of my sexual interests and what I liked, basically. I had a lot of shame and anxiety around my sexuality and my kinks and had no experience with being open about anything like that, I found myself sort of just getting awkward when he tried to get me to talk about things like that, and so he never pushed too hard. I knew that spanking was a meaningful part of my sexuality but I was so young and naive still that I thought this was like a one in a million type of kink to have. So for a while I thought it was so weird that I would just never be able to tell him or anyone as it was so 'freakish' in my mind. But as our relationship progressed and I felt safer and safer, it just felt less possible to keep it from him. So eventually I did. I don't remember exactly what I said, sorry. I know that when I spilled the beans, I said something like 'I hope you don't think I'm weird' or gross or a freak or something like that, idk exactly. But I know his response to me was essentially "What? no….that's hot!" which was SUCH a relief because I was so in love with him and it would have been devastating if he was judgemental of it. I believe he also said something to make me think that being into it wasn't nearly as weird (I guess what I really mean is rare) as I had believed it to be. At this time, I had not yet come across the idea of DD, so really all I shared was I was into spanking as that's basically all I knew.

After finding that out, he'd smack my butt while we were doing sexual things but I didn't really enjoy that much so that didn't last. A few years later I came across the idea of DD online and shared that with CD. He was curious but also had some concerns and a lot of questions. He didn't feel like I 'needed' rules and worried that giving me a rule would cause me to break that rule to get spanked which was a dynamic he didn't want to create. I didn't really have good answers to his questions, and I also was still deeply ashamed of these desires so it made it hard for me to have conversations about any of this. I'd even try to avoid saying the word 'spanking' out loud which was really confusing. In hindsight, I just clearly was not ready to engage with any of this stuff because I couldn't talk about it clearly enough to keep things safe. And I didn't realize that, but thankfully, he did. So for a while we'd occasionally talk about it but he'd raise the same questions that I didn't have good answers to and so I'd get awkward and embarrassed and end the conversation and it wouldn't be brought up again for a while. But over time we worked through some of the questions and concerns enough to feel comfortable giving it a try, except we couldn't think of any good rules at first. But then one day I lost my debit card again, which was a recurring problem for me, and it occurred to CD that it might make a good rule so he suggested it as our first rule and that's how we started.

And since then it's been a whole lot of communication and learning as we go, adapting regularly to insight we gain into ourselves and each other along the way. :)

[queen-mabs-revenge]

well. that was an episode of something alright.

no but truly whatever is happening is so fucking disappointing wrt the emotional journey and catharsis for these characters, and honestly i feel condescended to as an audience member and as a football fan. you can't just slap an isolated didactic speech over a heart tugging score and call it story telling, you can't take an 11th hour 180 turn while ignoring the characters for 10 episodes and call it character development, and you can't take a story of mass working-class fan protests against club owner greed and give it to a rich white lady as her slay girlboss story without it being actually gross.

sorry but this was 63 minutes...of what exactly?? just going through the story lines in some kind of vague order of least to most consequential for sam, keeley, roy, rebecca, and nate and this gets long so under the cut it goes:

sam - what was this supposed to even be? ok so you bring back edwin akufo for the superleague story (which by the way, changing this to the akufo league instead of the story's inspiration the european super league - which was proposed by white european billionaires - is some level of racism i can't even...) to do what? get some laughs in by retreading the grudge? putting sam through the ringer again for...??? what was the end result here? like i'm genuinely asking bc i don't understand what i'm supposed to get from his being all smiley and putting the nigerian national team photo in his locker? he's happy because jamie gave him a shout out and that's good enough for him? what the fuck is this even supposed to mean?

keeley - what was the purpose of any of this genuinely. the amount of time we spent with kjpr and i have no idea what keeley does, if she's good at her job, how she's built her relationships with her silent co-workers. when she was at richmond we got to see her in action and her stories brought out not only her own character but other characters we cared about. keeley has been utterly passive this season - her biggest moment of agency was hiring shandy and that was exploded and scrubbed from the narrative. everything else from jack to the leak to being defunded just happened to her and she cried about it. and now rebecca's swooping in to refund her again and genuinely what is even happening here? the conflict for her character that was set up last year was that she was experiencing success in a completely new way and she was scared she wasn't going to live up to it and the conflict between the work she felt she needed to do to live up to expectations and how that would affect other relationships in her life, especially that with roy. how was that addressed? at all? we've seen her nebulously stressed, we've been told she's working a lot without being allowed to experience what she's doing, we've seen her try and emulate both ted and rebecca without success, and what? what else? a couple of looks between her and roy? her getting picked up and put down by a vc funder both financially and personally? what kind of synthesis has she reached here???

roy - which brings us to roy. we get the 'i'm talking about my football career but actually i'm talking about my relationship with keeley' in the chelsea episode which was great because it set up a conflict for roy this season - the idea that he cuts and runs to put distance between himself and moments of vulnerability to avoid possible failure and as a result never truly engages and enjoys experiences or people in the moment. great brilliant amazing love it -- what the fuck happened. i feel like you can vaguely connect something about how his training jamie is teaching jamie not to do what he did - to actually give his emotional all to his development as a footballer instead of detaching when things were at there most frustrating with zava there. that where roy used his anger and gruffness as a mask, jamie was using his cockiness but both to the same end of detaching from a situation they felt was out of their control. but i feel like i'm carrying a lot of water with all that, and while yes there have been moments of roy being more open this season, he's for a lot of it been relegated to weird comic relief if you can even call it that? (sorry but the rope monologue and the dick string training are both fucked up and weird and went on for way too long). he pulled a ted at the press conference (and told someone else's miscarriage story hmm)? he and keeley have been kept apart for the entirety of this season so like....i don't know? what was this? a fake holiday to wedge in a scene with his sister, phoebe and jamie? an epiphany that he was a mess? that he caused damage? and he writes a letter and now everything's good roykeeley back on track? the fact that they were kept apart for the majority of the season just feels like.......was any of this actually sorted through? did we experience either of these characters interact in any way where they challenged each other in this journey? that lead up to this reconciliation? this culmination feels so unearned.

rebecca - and speaking of unearned, the entire set-up for her arc of getting the fuck over rupert and finding joy in the team without it being about someone else was there. from her rashness in swooping zava from under rupert's nose, to her yelling at ted about winning, the 'him-you-mean-them' conversation, her maniacal behaviour at half-time during the west ham game. but where was the move out of this? she met a guy on a boat? she..........what??? how have we seen her grow out of this moment? what have we seen besides this deus ex machina of....what? remembering a story about rupert's childhood and bing bang boom - oh he was just a child once too? and the end, job's a good'un? fast forwarding through the total football catharsis short-shrifted rebecca, too. if the football is the expository tool to reveal things about our characters, the idea that a strategy that puts a singular thing at the focus to the detriment of everything else is bad for football and it's bad for people is a great narrative device. but...just as we're being told and not shown that it's working on the field, we're getting the same treatment off. rebecca is realising that the community both in and around the club is more fulfilling than a psychic's quote unquote predictions and using the club as a tool for narrow-focused spite -- ok show that??? show her reactions to the fans attending training. show other small moments where she enjoys the game? puts the club above embarrassing rupert at all costs? that moment with higgins talking about possibly firing ted bc of the winless streak could have been a glimpse of that but it was thrown away instead (but to be honest, how much of that is a retreading of her journey in s1?). so what do we get instead - girlbossery with, i'm sorry, a really fucking beyond heavy-handed moment with seeing her young self in the mirror? that does what? tells us that she's able to stand firm in a room full of men? did we...not know that? that she realises she's in it bc she loves the game? does she?? again, by not seeing the moments of total football triumph, we missed out on the opportunity to show her falling in love with the sport and becoming a true fan, not just an owner. if that's even what i'm supposed to be getting from this!!?? not to mention that her big moment of realising passion for the beautiful game was more important than her spite was directly ripped from the headlines but completely twisted. as i mentioned before, in april 2021 a bunch of white european billionaire club owners did indeed try to form a european super league out of a closed group of 12 of the richest european clubs, but clear cash grab wasn't stopped by a rich white lady having a moment of #selflove and altruistic benevolence, it was stopped by a mass protest of working-class fans pointing out the clear capitalist greed of the move:

nate - and god if all of this isn't just a slap in the face to nate's character arc. again, the set up of the first two seasons was clear and great! nate's struggle with self-worth especially rooted in his inability to live up to his father's expectations; his being bullied and undervalued and then clinging to someone who was giving him the affirmations he was craving, his projecting those unresolved issues onto ted who both couldn't live up to those expectations, and who made his own mistakes as he struggled through his own personal turmoil and mental health issues. the way all of those unresolved issues and referred anger came to a head for the both of them in nate's exposing ted's panic attacks to try and hurt him the way he felt hurt. and then falling into the arms of someone who was ready to exploit nate's talent and insecurity for his own gains. it's so good! it's so fucking good that it's bananas that we barely get to see any of his reconcilation play out! we get the beginning with rupert's emotional manipulation on display...and then what? nate is sidelined for the majority of the season! he's absent in some episodes altogether! HE QUITS HIS JOB OFF SCREEN AND WE GET NONE OF HIS INNER THOUGHTS AS TO WHY EXACTLY AND WE'RE LEFT TO DO THE WORK OF FILLING IN THE BLANKS??? we get that tell-not-show moment with his family with his dad's map, but like then there's no significant interaction between nate and his father until this episode? we get most of nate's personal development through his relationship with jade instead of diving into his relationship with his parents and teasing that out to build up to the emotional cathartic moment in this episode? there's so much untapped complexity in nate's arc! that tension with his parents, how the pressures both his father as an immigrant and himself as first gen are amplified by the pressures of rigid masculinity. how his father felt the need to stifle that creative sweetness in himself to make sure nate succeeded and had the best opportunity because of the combined pressures of race, class, masculinity, and feeling out of his depths when faced with his son's brilliance. nate's conflict between expressing his own softness and creativity v his feelings of the expectations of masculinity and success. so much of that could have been drawn out instead of sidelined and then infodumped and concluded in a few minutes of one episode! look! nate plays the violin aren't you feeling emotions? so many minutes of nate laying in bed and so few of the exploration of his and his father's dynamic that was set up to be the hingepoint of his frustration, insecurity and anger that manifested in his ruptured relationship with ted and richmond! and it's back to the total football -- that jade is part of his development isn't a bad thing! showing nate as becoming fulfilled both familially and romantically is actually good, esp for a character of colour! the idea that a healthy life is a full life with many different elements of one's community playing in tandem and concert to build towards a fulfillment and joy! but like...ok??? do so that???? and not all in one moment with All The Right Words At The Same Time???? what the fuck man this feels so fucking surface level and i just with the sheer amount of minutes given to episodes this season, what the fuck were they spent on if not this???

i'm sorry, but epiphany moments like the four (four!!!) in this episode work in romcom movies because we have 90 minutes with the characters. we accept certain shorthand for character growth because we understand the constraints of the narrative framework. it's bananas and fucking lazy to think that's OK for a serial format, especially one that's ballooned in time over the past season! what the fuck have those minutes been used for except for apparently spinning the fucking wheels on all of these development arcs until the last saccharine moment? aren't you crying with emotions, hmmmm?????

none of this feels earned and i feel genuinely gross at being thrown a few Emotionally Coded scenes and being expected to have my little heartstrings pulled enough that the squandered and self-indulgent mess of this season - that threw all of this character development into the trash - doesn't matter. we've spent years with these characters, the first two seasons carefully set up deep conflicts that should have been given careful and deep resolutions.

instead this episode gives us a naked ass and insists that it's clothed in glorious tie dye.

it's a naked fucking ass. and whatever patchwork loincloth the last two episodes whip up, it can't make up for the wasted potential, laziness and self-indulgent disaster of jason sudeikis's showrunning.

[highfantasy-soul]

NATLA - Episode 1: Aang (4/4)

[Masterlist of my NATLA thoughts]

An explanation of what I'm doing here and my history with ATLA.

Of course, full spoilers ahead.

<previous/next>

Aang gives himself up once he realizes the fire benders have no issues harming the village, showing how he's willing to try a different angle to fighting - having no intention of staying locked up, but rather getting the fire nation away from his new friends - keeping true to the animated series.

I love the talk he and Iroh have where Iroh is very careful to say 'some believe' and gives alternative reasonings for this war - reasons that are explained in later books in the animated version, but does a good job at showing new viewers that the fire nation isn't just a flat-manically evil villain: they're just like real-world colonist nations that don’t see themselves as the bad guy even while they're doing objectively evil things.

I also enjoy him stealing Zuko's journal - I like giving Aang something to work with rather than having him just be at a loss in this brand new world with no info to go off of.

A lot of people feel that, especially the first part of book 1 in the animated series was a bit aimless - they don’t even go to Kyoshi island for Avatar reasons, they do it to ride the giant koi fish. This is compounded by the fact that the only goal they have is to reach the northern water tribe so Aang can learn waterbending, but along the way, they don’t really have a goal.

This way, they have another goal while they're traveling - figure out the Avatar state and what the Avatar is supposed to do, exactly - it gives the characters information to work off of rather than just wandering around - something that can work in episodic shows that are 20 episodes a season, but needs to be a bit more focused when there's not space to give each character moment/theme/lesson a full episode.

Sokka immediately turning over command to another villager while Katara is trying to convince him they need to go after Aang was so pitch perfect it was insane. It was just as great of characterization as when they had Sokka on board to rescue Aang in the animated show, but I love the addition of Sokka turning over his command instead of just inviting Katara into the canoe.

I like how they changed Aang going into the avatar state after falling from Zuko's ship to him being caught by Katara and Sokka as they come to rescue him, and just like in the animated version, Katara helping out with her waterbending. In the animated show, she showed her power by breaking apart the iceberg, in this one, she shows her power by stopping Zuko's fireball with a comparable amount of waterbending.

I think that, since we conclude this episode with the third episode of the animated version, having Aang go into the Avatar state twice in a row would make the second time feel cheaper, like it's super easy for him to get into it and show the control he did messing up Zuko's ship.

In the animated show, there was a whole episode separating the instances of the Avatar state - in the live-action, that would have been like, 10 minutes tops between them (plus him going into the Avatar state at the beginning to create the iceberg - so three times in one episode is a bit excessive), so I think the choice to nix him Avataring in the water and focus on him assuming it as he's overcome with grief and rage at the death of the airbenders was a good choice.

Speaking of the episode 3 content: while I do miss Aang's denial that anything happened to the Air Nomads and him trying to act like everything is fine and just playing his games at the temple, I can understand why they didn't have the time to drag out his denial and just jumped right to how the loss of the Air Nomads affected him.

Honestly, it doesn’t make much sense for Aang to be so sure that his friends - especially Gyatzo - are still alive after 100 years like he does in the cartoon. It's some hard-core denial he's in and I can see why that just wouldn't land in live-action over the course of a single episode.

Episode one had a LOT to set up and solidify and I think it did a great job. Of course, long form media will be able to take it's time with stuff and add different dimensions, so I'm very glad they exchanged his denial with us actually getting to spend more time with Gyatzo.

Starting with him and Aang at the beginning and bookending the episode with his assurance to Aang that he's going to be a good avatar and he'll always be his friend was a great way to show how important Gyatzo was to Aang - something we don't actually get so much in the animated version.

Deepening that connection and having the memory of Gyatzo pull Aang from the Avatar state, I feel like is much more earned than if Katara had done it like she did in the show.

In the animated version, we had 3 episodes of Katara interacting with Aang - and even though it was still really just the same amount of time they had together in both versions, our minds trick us into thinking she'd known Aang for longer due to three vs one episodes. Honestly, her talking Aang down in the animated version is a bit unearned and I can see why they changed it to be Gyatzo here.

I think it hits harder and makes more sense that it's in the finale that Katara is the one able to bring Aang back after he's merged with the ocean spirit - they've built a real connection and so before, it was Aang's connection to his past that brought him back, in the finale, it's his connection to his present and a possible future that does.

These are all fantastic ways to really show that the Avatar is both of this world and beyond - when in the Avatar state, they must be tethered somehow to the mortal plane or they'll get lost in their spiritual essence.

And then finally, to the 'goal' of the story: Aang needs to master all elements so he can bring an end to the war and bring balance back to the world.

Pretty much the same as the show, but they get to the meat and potatoes of the story a bit quicker - there's not exactly a ticking clock yet, and I think that's ok since in the animated series, with all the 'side quests' the gaang does, it can feel a bit…like they aren't really too concerned about ending the war soon. It's not until season 3 that the timeline really starts to affect the story - and only in some episodes. Keeping that aspect out of it for now, I think is a perfectly ok choice.

Intercutting Aang's speech about how we never know how important something is to us until we lose it with Zuko was a great choice - really setting up how the two of them are mirrors for each other

For Zuko and Iroh - I love how Zuko has a whole Avatar red-string wall! And a diary (sorry, notebook) where he's been studying and gathering all the info he can about Avatars, really perfect characterization right there.

I do wish they'd included Iroh talking about the breath of firebending, not the muscles, during Zuko's practice, but alas. Iroh is really the only character I'm still ruminating on - he feels the farthest from his animated counterpart, but I'm not mad at it. I just have a very, very, very specific version of Iroh I have solidified in my brain that, obviously, no one can replicate, so it's just something that I have to accept.

I guess the best way to put it is that this Iroh feels a bit more…casually intense than the animated version. The animated version always felt like he was relaxed at all times, very drunken master esque, and only in a few moments did we see that there was a lot more going on beneath the surface he wasn't showing us - in the live-action, I felt that simmering tension beneath the surface much more often than I did in the animated show.

Zuko's anger and obsessive need to capture the Avatar is shown so clearly in every scene he's in and, as he was the most interesting part of the animated series, it's no surprise he's the most interesting one in the live-action too.

His story and character just gives you so much to chew on and watch as he grows and changes so it's really no contest - where the other characters have pretty straight forward character motivations/arcs that don't really change through all three seasons, Zuko has the most going on and the most winding path, so yeah, every moment with him is so juicy

The opening of episode 2 with his tantrum and him screaming 'HE RAN' just shows how much the writers GET him - our pathetic cringe-fail loser angry boy <3

So that's my overview of episode 1 of the live action! I thought it was pretty strong, though as I've seen the animated a whole lot, the emphasis on exposition did drag it just a bit for me. Not because I thought the exposition was bad or unnecessary, but just because I, personally, already knew the stuff. Honestly, the stuff that deviated from the animated version was the best for me: the entire opening, Sokka and Katara's convo on the canoe, Sokka giving control to another villager to go save Aang, and Gyatzo - all of Gyatzo.

I think it did a phenomenal job at setting up the world, the stakes, and the characters - creating a super solid foundation to jump off of in the next episodes where the timeline of events from the OG show will be played with and altered. A solid foundation helps smooth the transition for us OG fans to see how many individual episode plotlines can be woven into a single episode.

[rei-caldombra]

Wrong Way to Use Healing Magic Anime Episodes 4-9 Review - Rose is a 10/10.

Back for another post about Wrong Way to Use Healing Magic anime, covering episodes 4-9. I’m still loving this show and wanna talk about it more without waiting until the end. Spoiler warning. I edited the image used for the thumbnail, feel free to use it fellow Rose simps. 

The greatness in episode 8 and 9 is the main reason I am writing a new post now and will be the bulk of the post, but I’ll talk a bit about the earlier episodes. Watching the three main characters slowly grow and come into their own has been nice to watch. I still enjoy seeing them have slightly different outlooks while still connecting on the basis of the crazy situation they were thrust in. They all needed different amounts of time and experiences to process things and make up their mind. Hopefully we will get some more great stuff from seeing them be together again for the big battle. We got some solid new characters

I didn’t mention how I feel about the OP in the first post, I think it’s really great. The music really gets you hyped. The art is great, everyone looks awesome and has very detailed and expressive looks. I don’t have too much to say about the ED, it’s fine but nothing notable to me. It does remind you of the life Suzu had before coming here, which at least gives some relevant purpose to the visuals. 

A minor gripe is that as of now I really don’t see the purpose of the future vision that Usato was shown. I don’t really feel like it changed his way of thinking or his actions. I did not feel like he was especially cocky or not taking the situation seriously, and he already had Rose instilling in him (and us as the viewer) that war is terrible and that he will be responsible for keeping people alive. Maybe there will be more to it later but I do not think this did anything for me as of now. It may have just had the purpose to drive up tension but I do not think forcing it with something dramatic like this was needed. 

Now onto the highlight of the middle section of the anime, episodes 8 and 9 which cover Rose’s backstory. Hearing my favorite voice actress Konomi Kohara in episode 8 was a welcome surprise. Her voice for Aul is probably the hardest to recognize out of anything I've heard from her as the tone is very different. I immediately thought about it upon hearing her talk but was not certain until her crying when she got punched convinced me. I’d know her yelling and crying noises anywhere. Kohara excels at bringing cute, cheerful energy that immediately makes you endear for the character. 

I think the time we got with Rose’s original squad was well done. It gave us enough time to let us feel the bond, but not so long that we felt we were wasting time with characters we knew would be dying. Aul is the only one who gets proper focus, but for the purpose of the unit focus on all of them was not needed. We also did get a nice moment that helped us feel that the other members were all people with names and lives. The scene where Rose talks to the parents of Josh hits hard and got me genuinely emotional. It's great for the world to have the events of that fight have an impact on more than just Rose. Hearing such a positive spin on the death of a soldier really hit hard. I hope most parents of fallen soldiers can reach the point of healthy acceptance that these two did. This scene both helps Rose and for the point of this blurb, reminds us that even though the other members like Josh did not get focus, they have some more substance than just extra soldiers. 

A criticism I have seen levied was that it took too long to get the war content that it’s been building up to. It did take quite a while to get some proper action, but the action delivers. It is by no means at the top level of anime action that we have gotten in recent times, but it is good. The art is pretty great while being fun and engaging, with one of the best moments of the show being her chucking trees. There was solid pacing too, with the action not being stopped for too long by exposition. I enjoyed this fight and hope the upcoming fights are up to its caliber at least. 

I really appreciate the show bringing up how losing her eye in the battle made a big difference in the moment. A pet peeve of mine is how often shows degrade the impact and weight of a character losing an eye. Most of the time they just keep fighting the same as normal or acclimate way too fast. I love her mentioning specifically that her depth perception is off because of losing her eye. In a proper battle that would make a massive difference. And while losing an eye only takes away about 30% of your vision, that could also mean the difference between life and death when you have arrows and magical blasts aimed at you. Characters barely changing from losing an eye sabotages dramatic weight and breaks my immersion in combat. I appreciate that this show gave her losing her eye the gravity it deserves in the moment even if it was just a bit of dialogue. Just the proper acknowledgement of the issues losing an eye brings means a lot to me. 

The battle ending with the demon commander being saved is also an interesting one. They’re clearly setting up here that the demons are not meant to just be evil adversaries. It also shows the strength of Rose’s character by not having her fall into a blind rage and completely flipping as a character. Even after seeing her friends be killed, she still saw the meaning in her adversary wanting to save someone dying on the battlefield. This hits Rose at the core of who she is. Both humans and demons have people they care about and want to save. Up to this point I honestly didn’t have anything to say about the demons as they seemed like your standard demonic adversaries, but this makes me feel positive that we will get solid substance from them.

I think Rose’s fall into depression and recovery is well done. I like how we got a variety of her thoughts rather than jumping straight to a strong reaction. She did contemplate suicide, but she is engaging in self-punishment and doesn’t believe she has the right to die. But what should she do with this life? She thought about going on a demon murder rampage and getting revenge, but she already recognized that is not the right thing to do. She spent over a month stuck in her depression rather than going back so we can infer she considered quitting altogether. Another great aspect of Rose’s emotional side of things is how she gave herself the pep talk based on her memories, rather than getting a stereotypical pep talk from someone else. It’s important to show how support from others is important for emotional processing, but getting over every emotional hump doesn’t come from someone telling you how great you are, and sometimes you do need to work through things yourself internally. The king and other knight checking up on her likely helped but this is clearly not written the same as a pep talk. Sometimes people can work through things on their own with enough time to process. And this isn’t from negative behavior like her not accepting help or having a bloated ego. The problem was all internal and there is no way anyone else could have properly related to her as no one else has the capabilities she does. I love that it took a long time for her to reach this. It’s important to note how long it takes to cope with your emotions. And to return to the pep talk point, sometimes those pep talks that make a person’s emotional state do a complete 180 make it seem like overcoming bad emotions is easy. I really like her growth comes from her thinking about their lives rather than about their deaths. It’s obvious that after a horrific event like she experienced, she would hyperfixate on their deaths. She already had the answer as Aul was dying, that she should not hate herself and to continue being the strong and kind person she is. 

She was also told by Josh's parents that she should not be ashamed of herself and what she has done. But the severity of the moment muted the positive impact of those words. When she is able to think about what came before that terrible event, she realizes the proper way to think. By remembering what her squad said while they were alive, she was able to put her own life into perspective and find a goal. Knowing everything that happens, it feels like a logical conclusion for Rose to focus entirely on saving lives. As a character within the archetype of the tough brutal teacher, Rose feels far above the rest as a dynamic and fleshed out character who does not exist just to be hated. She does the usual drill sergeant type of thing while having proper motivation and emotional reasoning behind it. She’s not brutal just so the main character has to struggle, she is brutal because of her backstory that stands entirely on its own. Rose really is a fantastic character by all metrics and she alone makes this show worth the watch. 

This show continues to have great characters and excellent execution. We did have to wait a little too long for some great action with overall slow pacing, but it was still enjoyable, and I see some value in the slow buildup. The buildup was very successful for Rose’s side of things, so I feel confident that the buildup will have been worth it for Usato’s side as well. Hopefully this anime will continue on strong through to its conclusion. Thanks for reading!

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 26/10/2024 (Bruno Mars & ROSÉ, Gracie Abrams, Morgan Wallen)

For a ninth week straight, Sabrina Carpenter holds onto the #1 on the UK Singles Chart with “Taste”. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

content warning: language, references to sex, violence, mental health (paranoia, suicide, abusive relationships)

Rundown

As always, we start our episode with the notable dropouts, those being tracks exiting the UK Top 75 – which is what I cover – after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. This week, we bid adieu to a fair few songs, it was a bit of a bloodbath even if I can see a lot of these making a return. We say our farewells to “KEEP UP” by Odetari, “Pretty Slowly” by Benson Boone, “You’re Gonna Go Far” by Noah Kahan, “Blame it on the Rain” by Milli Vanilli, “Free” by Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding, “Angel of My Dreams” by JADE (more on her later), “Carry You Home” by Alex Warren, “i like the way you kiss me” by Artemas, “Belong Together” by Mark Ambor, “Scared to Start” by Michael Marcagi and finally, “Viva la Vida” by Coldplay.

Much of the reason for our grand list of dropouts would not just be the amount of newer entries we have this week, which span from viral slow-burn deep cuts to sudden smash hits that missed even my periphery, but it should definitely be noted how many re-entries we have this week, though the circumstances for them are quite unfortunate. Former One Direction member and English singer and media personality in his own right, Liam Payne, has passed at 31, having jumped out of his hotel room in Argentina after what is likely a period of intense substance abuse. Payne had recently been in the news for allegations of his own, and his career had never reached the heights of his boy band fame or even his contemporaries, though this still struck a lot of people, especially on social media where TMZ posted images of his corpse. Classy. Payne’s death is the tragic by-product of an industry, a series of labels and plenty of executives disregarding the likely traumatic outcome of being thrown into pop stardom at a young age. There were so many moments in the careers of the 1D boys where it seemed evident that access points to support just weren’t there, or weren’t taken seriously because of the fact they were a famous boy band – you just cough it up, right? It’s the industry, it’s just “how it is”. Chappell Roan has recently highlighted how terrifying pop music can be as a performer, and with Payne passing, maybe there’ll be a second look towards those who could have gotten to him in the years before his death, and simply refused, restrained themselves on the grounds of their own financial bottom line. Preventive measures need to be in place, and whilst I doubt Liam Payne of all people should be the figurehead of mental health struggles in pop music because of his own problematic history and real lack of career growth, he should be a stark reminder that those you forget about in showbiz don’t just disappear… until they do.

Of course, this show is about the chart itself, and ultimately, another awful reminder of how pop music can put you through the wringer is present in our non-Payne re-entry at #69: “Careless Whisper” by the late George Michael. Recently reissued in celebration of its 40-year anniversary, the classic hit spent three weeks at #1 as Michael’s solo break from Wham! in 1984. Possibly the greatest treasure George Michael brought to the nation was preventing Black Lace’s novelty “Agadoo” from the top spot. Sarah Washington’s dance version reached #45 in 1993, and a UK garage rendition by 2 Play featuring Thomas Jules and Jucxi D took “Careless Whisper” to the top 40 once again in 2004 at #29. Just to date these songs, the #1s were the late Meat Loaf’s “I’ll Do Anything for Love” and Girls Aloud’s “I’ll Stand by You”, respectively. The original recording returned for a few weeks in 2017 following Michael’s passing, reaching #44, and it’s back for presumably one week, though a grimly potent one.

Otherwise, we have Liam Payne and One Direction making their returns: as for his solo hits, “For You”, a duet with Rita Ora from the Fifty Shades Freed soundtrack is back at #43, near his most iconic track, “Strip that Down” featuring Quavo at #41, which I mostly remember for being co-written with Ed Sheeran and sounding like Shaggy’s “It Wasn’t Me”. It originally peaked at #3 for two weeks in 2017 whilst “Despacito” by Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber was, unsurprisingly, #1. “For You”, on the other hand, which is – quite scarily – new enough for me to have reviewed on its debut week back in 2018, peaked at #8 for two weeks that year, whilst Drake’s “God’s Plan” held onto #1. Oh, and when I say I would have reviewed it on its debut week, I mean would have. I searched, and this is the second episode ever, that I mistakenly deleted in its entirety and replaced with a note essentially saying “whoops!” soon after. I can’t lie and say I wouldn’t do that today.

As for One Direction, “What Makes You Beautiful” – which has spent nearly 80 weeks on the chart and was their debut single after their X Factor appearance – is back at #23. The now-iconic, mostly shit debut made the band parade in on first try to #1 on the UK Singles Chart, even if just for one week, and had appeared on the chart much lower but still regularly until as late as 2014. Our other returns from the boys are more sentimental: “Story of My Life” is back at #9, after peaking at #2 in 2013, blocked by Lily Allen’s cover of “Somewhere Only We Know”. My fun fact about this one is that Alvin and the Chipmunks have a cover that adapts their lyrics to be about their relationship with their owner Dave. Perhaps more importantly, however, it was co-written by all of the band members, a distinction it shares with its fellow ballad “Night Changes”, which resonates with fans partly because it is about accepting change that can come so soon and suddenly over the course of your life. I’m no Directioner by any means, but this is a beautiful, dare I say perfect song that has become their most-streamed just through sheer longevity, despite being far from their biggest smash at the time. It’s a slow burn that has the biggest star Harry on lead in the chorus, and ZAYN and Liam trading the first verse (ZAYN leaving after this single’s release), which really helps propel it – alongside the sentiment – to the top of the charts after Payne’s passing. It had a comparatively brief chart run compared to their other big hits in late 2014 and early 2015, only reaching #7 whilst “Uptown Funk!” was #1. There’s something really special about how when one component of the quintet is lost, the devoted fans, now mostly adults, have taken it just one spot higher to peak at #6 this week. Again, I’m no One Direction fan, I never had a connection with the boys like many would have, but this is the best song in the top 40 right now – a selfish part of me aches for a second run, but it’s unlikely it takes off past this week. It would be a beautiful moment though, for a song that in its chorus, defies that fear of change: even when everything you’ve ever wanted disappears at your wake, there’s nothing to be afraid of. Just look forward.

Oh, yeah, we also have notable gains, and you know, 74 other songs in the region I cover, though I could spend a great deal of time on “Night Changes”. However, we do see healthy boosts for “I Only Smoke When I Drink” by nimino at #57, “Bad Dreams” by Teddy Swims at #25, and that’s… actually it. This week’s top five on the UK Singles Chart starts with “I Love You, I’m Sorry” by Gracie Abrams at #5, then we have a new entry from ROSÉ of BLACKPINK and Bruno Mars at #4 with their duet “APT.” which we will get to discussing later. Then it should be more familiar: “Die with a Smile” by Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars (again) at #3, “Sailor Song” by Gigi Perez (who has her follow-up ready for next week) at #2 and of course, “Taste” at the top. So if we know how it tastes at the top, what about the bottom? I won’t say that again, new song review time.

New Entries

#75 – “Oscar Winning Tears.” – RAYE

Produced by Mike Sabath

This is the most recent viral sleeper hit from RAYE’s My 21st Century Blues, an album that had more longevity in moderate hits that backed up the smash of “Escapism.” long after that had left the charts. This serves as the first full song on the album after the introduction, or the overture on the live edition, setting out what seems to be the record’s primary narrative, at least in part, that of the constant manipulation of young women being taken advantage of by a manic and unjust music industry, that reflects upon the wider society enabling it. Whilst there aren’t many specifics – RAYE quickly dismisses his details as irrelevant since he’s just one of many men to have taken advantage of her – the track follows RAYE taking a seat and recognising his emotional outbursts in the ex-relationship as fake and full of lies, hence the name. There’s a cinematic showtune-esque approach to the rap-singing of the verses that ends up dipping in and out unevenly thanks to the mixing, but it still rests nicely into R&B, with a minimal shake-up of drums and piano that kicks its intensity up not through drastic changes but through stray details like a wanky guitar or a rattling hi-hat switch-up, eventually forming a mix that clouds up into nothingness. It doesn’t capture the swell it should, despite generally playing into its melodrama, and hence has the stop-start momentum that may fit its content but stilts its potential. There’s a confidence and empowerment to this track that decays on later, more jaded songs, and whilst it may be a good fit for RAYE, it doesn’t have the same touching vulnerability that bases some of her more powerful cuts in reality and adds a heartfelt backlining. It’s a good introduction, but as a single, it falters in really painting a complete picture.

#61 – “Piece of My Heart” – Wizkid and Brent Faiyaz

Produced by P2J, Dpat, Juice Cuice and Drew80HD

It feels like it’s been a while since we’ve seen either of these acts, but the Nigerian singer who helped propel modern Afrobeats into his current global success has teamed up with one of the most influential newer alt-R&B acts for a new duet fusing their styles. We probably wouldn’t have the hits we do without them, especially this year, so there’s a strangeness to seeing the two debut so low, though of course influence and inspiration don’t always translate chart-wise. What I also wouldn’t have expected was how ambitious this track ended up being, with Faiyaz being the main star in my opinion, as he effortlessly blends different vocal inflections and alterations into a slippery Afrobeats rhythm with uniquely hissy and busy drums, sounding really organic under and over the tropical guitars and sliding keys in that first beat. This is the cleanest Wizkid’s vocal mix has… ever sounded, really, and he frames himself as the sweatier, sexual intimacy to Faiyaz’s loving platitudes that importantly give this woman ownership of some of his heart, but restraining letting her have too much. It plays out in the song as a cheesy “I just won’t have enough for myself” one-liner but speaks to the empty, pitch-shifted promises of the intro and Wizkid sounding desperate in his quieter, stifled delivery once the hypothetical of him potentially hurting her come into play. Of course, you could, fantastically, ignore all of that and jam to how gorgeous this sounds as a piece of music, with an immaculate breeze of a mix forming from what should end up at least slightly too busy and chaotic.

With the beat switch into the chipmunk vocal on its second half, subtitled “Sometimes”, we get not just the other side of that loving character, but a grovelling acknowledgement of their flaws. That simple chorus really does get to the crux of it: “Sometimes, I might be a bad version of me”. Wizkid even attempts to link back and reminisce on the intimacy we heard over the first beat that has been subtly diluted with a shakier, frailer arrangement, to no avail before the tape stops. I’m not used to this level of narrative storytelling from Wizkid, especially not in the context of how seamlessly the production forms around it, and although Faiyaz may be the more significant performer here, it intrigues me more into how an upcoming album could shape up if this is the approach he’s going with. I’m kind of taken aback by this lead single, I am really fascinated to where he goes next, even if it may not chart anytime soon. He may have a new fan on his hands here.

#52 – “Fantasy” – JADE

Produced by Mike Sabath

Jade Thirlwall of Little Mix continues to work for solo success, with this being her third attempt after “Angel of My Dreams” was not overly impressive but a resounding success critically and commercially, though its follow-up failed to really climb up the ladder the same way, with “Fantasy” potentially suffering the same fate given its low debut. Is it worth the potential climb up though? Well, despite sharing the producer, it fails to echo either the immediacy or the core clash at the heart of that solo debut single, and whilst JADE is still bringing much more personality than any of the half-formed Little Mix solo singles recently, this borderline pride anthem feels a bit lost. The glittery disco synths meander until they combine into a flavourless dressing, interrupting with obnoxious woozy stabs any actual bassy impact and momentum those verses embracing kinks and freedom could be. Madonna’s Erotica – an unabashed EDM-pop embracing of queer sexuality – is one of my favourite albums of all time and whilst it can be abrupt, cheesy or indistinct, it always knows where it’s going and refuses to chug along into a full, greatly-produced but ultimately aimless mess of keys and stray ideas. I genuinely do not know why JADE or producer Mike Sabath would allow the lead to be so easily drowned out by the production, which then absorbs a wave of tropical-adjacent nu-disco elements that really overfill the mix, rendering it gross in the way that perhaps wasn’t intended. I’m all for over-the-top campness, but the message is quite literally lost in the breathy performance and playful structure, alongside the feathery soundscape. It feels like it’s taking too many detours – or, never really having the punch or strength to its hooks in the first place – before being able to deliver that confidence, rendering it much less impactful, more like a sugary syrup that resembled some form of liberation or resistance prior to manufacturing. On first listen, I just thought this was okay but it might actually be a more detrimental and unfortunate reading of its subject matter than it has any idea how to grapple with. This could be something, it clearly wants to be, but it fumbles far before the point of that potential being heard, let alone fulfilled.

#50 – “Noid” – Tyler, the Creator

Produced by Tyler, the Creator

It’s that season again – and by that, I could of course mean Halloween and the spooky season but I mostly mean the season in which California rapper Tyler, the Creator, after staying relatively quiet for a year or two, announces a project, a new identity or character to play within the persona of for that record’s promotion – if not the project itself – and within a few weeks, he’ll have dropped a few promotional videos and eventually, a full album, mostly self-produced and with exciting hidden features… that’s on Monday, however. Once again, Tyler has eschewed convention by refusing to release on the crowded Friday and instead delaying his album until the Monday, hence the debut for a mid-week single that feeds into the Halloweeny times by focusing on paranoia.

This album’s protagonist, Saint Chroma of CHROMAKOPIA, constantly feels like, for lack of a phrase that doesn’t paraphrase a seasonal one-hit wonder, somebody’s watching him. The music video depicts visions of violence and fear that may not be real but find themselves justified in the lyrics, stretching this fictional personality back to Tyler’s reality where he can draw parallels in between the home invasions still plaguing the friends he grew up with, to the paparazzi’s focus on his 2023 purchase of a million-dollar mansion, in terms of how that can both eat at you and isolate you. Los Angeles’ celebrity culture and his familiarity with the city leads Chroma, or Tyler, to not feel understood in his conflict, with the sarcastic hook expressing envy for those who can just enjoy the small pleasure of watching, feeling, enjoying the simplicities of life. Tyler, however, feels bombarded by the inhuman: cameras, satellites, screenshots – when screens are pushed in front of you and your extensive purchases are news, that same systemic oppression from living in an unsafe neighbourhood returns in a way that may not put you in immediate danger, but reassures how insignificant and statistical you are in the spotlight, with the beat switch segmenting the two sides of life as much as it branches the two together.

Sonically, I mean, it’s Tyler, it’s lengthy and detailed, finding even more ways to develop his typically fuzzy and complete sound into the specific energy he wishes to operate within for a particular album cycle. Zambian psychedelic rock samples texture the first half, with Tyler displaying his barer, flawed singing voice without the coating IGOR granted it, though the “runnin’” he’s been doing for years in his music and the immense vocal layers from his catalogue but particularly that album remain, with WILLOW and Tyler’s separate multi-tracked choirs constantly attacked by that sample of Paul Ngozi reflecting a similar mania in his own native language – crossing those barriers feels particularly potent for a song that’s really about homes. Hell, Tyler’s mother even appears on the interlude threatening to beat up anyone who messes with her son, whose frail, pitch-shifted vocals that follow her defiant words emphasise how much we owe to our households. I love how the second half extends its intensity on pure tedium with Tyler’s nasal drawling out of the “e” sound in “me” over real, but low-fidelity claps. As for the full release on Monday, I’ll be excited to see how powerfully this hits within that context as something so dense as this can be difficult to sift through as a single, and Tyler has definitely polarised audiences with his leads before a critically adored album to follow, so my ears are peeled. Tyler’s releases always feel like an incredibly well-planned and momentous event, where even if I don’t love the album as much as his last, I can respect the growth, and such a complicated song from such a complicated artist definitely deserves a look from the bigger picture. Hell, that may just be the point of his attitude towards fame since at least CHERRY BOMB in 2015. Nearly a decade later, I’m excited to see how his approach has changed.

#40 – “Love Somebody” – Morgan Wallen

Produced by Joey Moi and Charlie Handsome

US country star Morgan Wallen loves to drop these teaser singles so that those who don’t follow his every move never really know when a full new album is coming… until we see 30 tracks hog up the Hot 100 and we know just what has occurred. Regardless of the bloated albums and honestly being much less interesting each new song I hear, I have liked his songs before so there could be something here to enjoy. Shamefully, there isn’t, as this is about as country as a shirtless guy in a flag-branded cowboy hat going around a city as a novelty cowboy who can barely play “Wonderwall” and puts on a silly accent for foreign tourists. There’s almost a morbid appeal to how blankly Morgan Wallen’s singing and melodies “fit” over the chintzy guitars mixed into a synthy pop rock pastiche even AOR radio programmers in 1987 might see as outside of their remit. Morgan’s lyrics, however, are about finding that honest girl he can take back to the sticks, instead of some opportunist using him for the parties and fame, seeing if he can snatch some of his wealth. I’m not sure yet if when writing this kind of bitter, hapless lament about inauthentic women who leave him to dry once absorbing the parts of him that matter to her… he may just be writing about himself, if he’s even writing it at all. Next.

#19 – “That’s So True” – Gracie Abrams

Produced by Aaron Dessner, Gracie Abrams and Julian Bunetta

Gracie Abrams has recently popped up with the deluxe edition of her breakout record, The Secret of Us, which distantly eyed up a second week at #1, a spot currently taken by Kylie Minogue who unfortunately had no new entries this week. Instead, we have what singer-songwriter Gracie Abrams has left on the cutting room floor which, given my disdain for her overly-sanitised and overthought brand of folk-pop, could honestly be a good thing if I wanted something rawer or more compelling. Unfortunately, even the B-sides grow through the machine, and though Abrams embraces her obnoxious immaturity through the writing, much like the promising “Risk”, this doesn’t have the youthful panic, trading it for a stomp-rock chorus that, much like that Morgan Wallen song, borders on kind of embarrassing, especially when it leads into the most brow-raising description of sex I think I have heard outside of rap on the charts. The acoustic rumble is really not that bad, but it’s so stiff in its programming and even its structure, fixated on repeating that annoying “oo-oo-oo” sound with little variation, and all of the muddy swell it accumulates itself in the bridge with the distorted, irritating drums, ends up all for nought when the song refuses to free itself from the shackles of its claustrophobic percussion and inconclusive chorus. One could argue that this absolutely fits the awkward post-breakup teenage drama… but at least when O-Rod did it, it was fun, there were much more unique details than this sexless column of cliché, and most importantly, Olivia Rodrigo is an actor first, and those dramatics, those stakes are palpable in her performance. This song refuses to expand itself beyond petty bullshit even towards its abrupt end, wasting everyone’s time in the process.

#4 – “APT.” – ROSÉ and Bruno Mars

Produced by Bruno Mars, Cirkut, Omer Fedi and Rogét Chahayed

It seems like the BLACKPINK girls are here to stay as solo acts and whilst so far they have definitely gathered much traction in that first week then filtered off slightly, their quest for western pop success that could really last seems to have been solved… by Bruno Mars. I’m genuinely surprised he’s maintained his career well enough to sell these top 10 duets, and perhaps a relative newcomer like ROSÉ makes a bit less sense for him to play off on, but he’s surrounded by certified pop songwriters and producers here too, so a part of me definitely anticipated for a watered-down personality… which is not at all what we got here. In fact, it’s a bratty rush of teenage lovestruck energy that dismisses anything but the “now” in its buzzy, new-rave brashness, not too far from say, The Ting Tings, in its presentation that could be seen as obnoxious if not for its content, all about a drinking game and that immediate lust to be around someone you love. An incredibly percussive track, it balances Bruno’s breathy ad-libs, with a simple cheerleader chant of a beat ripped straight from Toni Basil’s “Mickey”, itself from “Kitty” but that’s another story, that gradually fuses with the guitar-based melodic elements of the track to form something really euphoric. That pre-chorus is such a sticky melody and the verses are so manically repetitive you almost don’t notice Bruno is singing or rapping some phrases in Korean. It almost functions as a bait-and-switch even, with the K-pop structure naturally having you expect incredibly distinct and disparate parts being separated via abrupt transitions and cloyed together as a “song” by an undeniable chorus. Instead, the third cheerleader chant chorus carries on the swell of the pre-chorus effortlessly into a confrontational bridge pairing a soaring guitar lick with stuttering Bruno blips panning across ROSÉ’s reverb-drenched promises that she’s on her way. It may not actually go anywhere, but it settles for the temporary euphoria, the togetherness, in such a cute and for me, unexpected way that I can’t help but find this frankly adorable. It may sour on me with time but for now, I recommend it and I’d love to see this borderline punk track be the BLACKPINK-derived track that ends up lasting.

Conclusion

Definitely a fascinating and diverse week that gave me way too much to discuss, overwhelmingly so, but not one that led me to a breadth of quality like last time, more just intriguing nuances that opened these songs up a lot. Except Morgan Wallen, of course. Gracie Abrams gets Worst of the Week for “That’s So True”, which shouldn’t be a surprise, maybe I really am getting too old for this, but Mr. Wallen swoops up the Dishonourable Mention just as easily for “Love Somebody”, JADE’s safe this week. As for the best, I am a bit of a fangirl, I apologise, there is going to be an inherent bias, but I do think “Noid” is a brilliant, multi-layered song so Tyler snatches Best of the Week, with a delightfully surprised Honourable Mention towards “Piece of My Heart” by Wizkid and Brent Faiyaz, which is honestly a very similar track in scope, form and even some smaller details like vocal effects; weird coincidence.

As for what’s on the horizon, we may see Halsey and Tyler battle it out on the albums chart alongside Megan, Tears for Fears and Bastille, but how much of that will actually translate to the hit parade is unclear. It may be more worth betting on Lady Gaga’s proper comeback single and whatever “Addison Rae” is up to, but time will tell. For now, thank you for reading, rest in peace to Ka, and I’ll see you next week!

[littlebodydollheart]

`` ~ ୨୧ ♡ · im starting to feel so sick and exhausted. im 124 hours into fasting, and for the most part im still not hungry but today i have started to feel a little hungry sometimes and ive definitely started getting some cravings. but that's barely even noticeable, especially compared to everything else. ive been so tired today that even getting up to go to the bathroom or get a drink of water has felt like a herculean task, and every time i stand up, i feel so dizzy. im also freezing cold all of the time (which ik is technically good bc it burns calories but im just not one of those people who can handle being cold in order to lose weight) and ive been irrational and emotional and ive felt so hopeless all day. and the worst part is that ive only finished episode 16 of demon slayer. there are 39 more episodes. and it's getting harder and harder to actually focus on the show. i feel dumb and silly for already feeling so terrible and weak. ive even considered ending my fast when i finish season 1 (which would only be 10 more episodes) but it feels weak to just give up and reduce the amount of fasting time. i might make a poll about it tomorrow asking whether i should change the amount of fasting time.

`` ~ ୨୧ ♡ · on the bright side, i did wake up this morning at 127.2 lbs and bmi 19.9!! im excited to have a bmi in the teens for the first time!! and im honestly not too far away from my first gw. it'd be so cool if i reached it during this fast. im thinking of rewarding myself for reaching 122 lbs by getting my nose pierced!!

[alivehouse]

(While sending this ask I've accidentally found out what cool wallpapers (literally) you have on your desktop blog theme.)

Well, good day, my dearest horror podcast Virgil,

I, surprisingly to myself, actually finished "I am in Eskew" and enjoyed it quite a bit (which, I guess, could have been deduced by how much I spammed in the tag) even more surprisingly, considering I'm absolutely not a horror person - I substitute horror movies with their wikipedia retellings. Unironically.

Anyway, firstly, thank you! I definitely would have never discovered it without your recommendations!

Secondly, maybe you have something else like that stashed up your sleeve? I definitely need some time to recuperate, but I would like to explore more cool podcasts. (The only two limitations: short-ish - not much longer than this one, the view of a hundred+ episodes scares me; not gorier than this one/no actual jump scares - again, I'm a scardicat.) I remember you talking about "Mabel Podcast" and at the first glance it seems neat, but I'd like to hear your comments on it first.

Thanks in advance. :)

(thank you! its a william morris thing i edited a little lol) glad you liked eskew! its been fun seeing your thoughts on it popping up in the tag, not spammy at all.

i do want to mention that the creator of eskew also has another podcast called The Silt Verses, personally i havent listened to it for weird brain reasons so not sure how well it fits your criteria but ive heard its also very good

mabel podcast is another favorite! the creators of mabel and the creator of i am in eskew were both inspired by shirley jackson's the haunting of hill house to an extent iirc, so even though the stories are very different some elements of them have a similar 'feel' to them imo. i will say that mabel is very different stylistically though (especially the earlier episodes) which in my experience people seem to either love or hate. whereas in eskew you get a pretty continuous narration from david or riyo, in mabel youre mostly listening in on a series of somewhat disjointed voicemail messages. id definitely recommend at least giving the first few episodes a go, dont get discouraged if you dont feel like you dont understand whats happening right away. all you really need to know about the story going in is that youre following Anna, whos a live-in carer for an old woman named Sally. Anna is trying to contact Sallys next of kin (the titular Mabel), but shes strangely out of reach.

ok i know you said youre not a huge horror person but if you ever are feeling a little more daring id suggest trying out The White Vault. theres a small amount of gore (descriptions of finding hearts and teeth) and some uh. wet ripping sounds in it but its really not that bad all things considered, just know that it is straight horror though. its a found footage podcast that follows a group of people whove been hired to check out a remote outpost in northern norway thats gone dead, but a storm leaves them stranded there, and as time goes on it becomes clear that they arent exactly alone. this ones a little longer i think, but tbh ive only listened to the first two seasons, it felt like a natural place for the story to end to me

and then on the complete opposite side of the spooky podcast spectrum, if you want something thats a ghost story but really not horror at all imo, i just finished listening to Midnight Radio a few weeks back. this ones *really* short, like 10 episodes that are ~20 minutes each short, so its definitely lower commitment. in this one youre listening in on a radio show hosted by Sibyl, who died decades earlier but can still be heard waxing poetic about her hometown in the dead of night.

ok LAST ONE havent finished it so wasnt sure if i should rec it but a lot of people on my dash hype up Archive 81 so i thought id mention it at least. guy is hired to listen through a bunch of creepy tapes in some archive out in the middle of no where. classic horror podcast stuff. similar to eskew in that it pivots from mostly being mostly anthology into an overarching plot as you go on

[shyuch]

Further than the universe, yet not out of reach

There are a lot of things to say.

Episode 6:

There’s something that struck out here for me the most: Kimari and the momentary stillness where she becomes incredibly self-aware.

This slowed down perception provides her with an incredibly insightful thought: where she notices her place in the world, and realizes how the world still runs even when they are residing in this temporary space in time. For example, she states that they will come and go, yet the “world” in Singapore will stay the way it is, indefinitely for time. This stillness of thought in contrast to the exhilarating freedom she felt earlier in the series, demonstrates how Lamarre really had a good point with how perception affects the reality in which you perceive.

Also, this moment:

Where Hinata and Shirase begin exchange their deepest insecurities to each other. I really like this message because it really accentuates the need to be authentic. I really do think that people present themselves as an too idealized version of themselves. We need to be real with each other in order to build the truly meaningful connections. I also like that this is not a uniquely Japanese problem, it applies to almost all countries. (no bad takes here)

My (hopefully) interesting thought:

Also, I could not find the image for this, but I wonder how Professor Smith would argue against the notion of Shirase using money (capitalism) in exchanging to the place further than the universe? (post-capitalism) She bought business class tickets to Fremont, which is literally purchasing the access to Antarctica.

Episode 9:

Again with the perception of time, Shirase and Gin share intimate moments about Shirase’s mother once the motion slows to a stop.

This episode is also where we see the “escape from capitalism” for the first time. The general consensus is that it’s beautiful, so I’d say this supports Professor Smith’s thesis about this anime’s treatment to capitalism. However, it is cold and barren, so it can also mean that this post-Capitalistic world is something that’s not for everyone, something that’s unwelcoming but can be lucrative for the people who do discover it, and it has to be something that must be developed.

On another note, I did find it interesting how Shirase’s thoughts as she touched the land for the first time weren’t something along the lines of “Mom, I’m here.” But rather, “IN YOUR FACE.” I think that over time, this journey has turned from “seeing her mom” again into a journey about herself, a journey of self-discovery. She has to find out for HERSELF what happened to her mom rather than the action of finding her mom itself. Closure is a hard thing to find. It’s hard to obtain, and it might end up leaving you feeling worse than before. It might be the hope of finding closure that gives you the most closure than the truth of closure itself.

Episode 10:

What does it mean to truly be a friend?

A cacophony of approaches is seen in this episode, especially Yuzuki’s legal approach to it (all that she’s ever known) versus Kimari’s genuine, welcoming aura.

I believe that as long as the trust and intention is there, it’ll be okay. There can be friends you never talk to in a year, and yet meet up again and completely reconnect in one second. There can also be friends you can hang out every day, and then one day move and never talk to them again, despite the contact information.

There needs to be a sense of certainty in a person in a world of uncertainty.

Episode 12:

I believe that post-capitalism presents itself the most in this episode as what it truly is: human emotion, memory, spirit, etc. No amount of money will buy Shirase her mother back. No amount of money will buy Shirase her mother’s laptop. But Shirase found her mother’s laptop through things that are uniquely human, independent from money.

Also, isn’t it interesting that this adventure of post-Capitalism (Shirase) also led to everyone finding the things that they wanted in life (In the scope of this anime)? (Kimari’s fulfilled youth, Yuzuki’s friends, Hinata’s connection)

There were beautiful juxtapositions throughout this episode that I’d also like to share:

- What if there’s nothing at the end of the universe? (Which there isn’t because Shirase’s mother is dead)

- Further than the universe, yet not out of reach (Shirase’s mother’s laptop, fulfillment in finding this piece of her)

Some things I found interesting:

In American English, farther is used for physical distances, whereas further is used for more figurative distances. This mean that from the beginning, this place was never a physical object. It was always somewhere figurative, somewhere sentimental they had to explore. (Further elaborates on the emancipation for capitalism)

What Shirase’s feeling is almost like Saudade, a Brazilian word used to describe a very intense longing for something that could have existed in another lifetime or lost a long time ago.

Could her mother have predicted her own death so she assigned Gin to almost act like a caretaker for Shirase?

Even though scientifically disproven, Shirase experienced the four stages of grief:

- Denial: I’m going to Antarctica to see my mother.

- Anger: I’ll prove every last one of them wrong.

- Bargining: 1 million yen, take me to Antarctica.

- Acceptance:

- First stage: Gin directly telling Shirase that she is no longer alive.

- Second stage: Shirase opens the laptop.

[deltaengineering]

Winter Anime 2023: Reborn In Another Season As An Isekai Enjoyer

oh nooooooooooo

Idolish7 Third Beat Part 2 (Appendix 1)

The third extension of Idolish7 finally found the opportunity to end, or should I rather say, stop. At one point, I quite liked Idolish7. I don't know whether the show got significantly worse, or whether I just grew tired of it - likely both. In any case, this season was mostly just remarkably boring. Most of it is preoccupied with getting Trigger over - which I can't even call a failure, but it just takes them from annoying jerks to blandly affable. Revale have been sucked dry of anything interesting previously, and Idolish themselves are mainly just going through the motions, more circular histrionic Mezzo drama included. And the new guys, Zool, just fill the newly vacant "annoying jerks" niche. Though to be fair, Toma's slow realization that he's in a band with a bunch of selfish assholes and a cartoonishly evil manager is probably the best legitimate thing this season does. The unintentional high points are rare as well - sometimes the silly drama drops into silly silliness so hard it becomes funny, such as when a murder attempt is the perfect launchpad for some terrible manzai. The epic speeches can have some cringe appeal as well. But the best single moment in the show is when Iori calls Tsumugi in the middle of the night to talk at her on the roof about how Riku has become so moe he might destroy the world, while Tsumugi seems to be trying to figure out how she can leave without turning her back to him. That's some Babylon-tier entertainment right there, but of course it amounts to nothing. Everything amounts to nothing, it's just a soap opera at this point. I don't think I want to find out in exactly what way the upcoming Nagi drama also amounts to nothing, to be honest. 4/10

Trigun Stampede

I've said before that I only watched a bit of Trigun and barely remember any of it apart from not being a fan. What I do remember though is that it's nothing like this remake. I hear that the original gets more dramatic later on, but even so the appeal is probably finding sudden depths in a silly action comedy. Stampede on the other hand mostly resembles someone's awful Trigun x Advent Children fanfic (see attached picture). Which makes Orange's decision to painstakingly recreate the animation tropes of 90s action comedies in 3D puzzling, because as good as they are, now they're in a show where they don't belong. Also, it's nice that Orange have figured out how to make appealing 3D animation in general, but I really don't care how much you spin your camera if you're spinning it around uninteresting characters in an uninteresting, generic desert setting (to be replaced with a uninteresting, generic tech hallway setting later on). It's still watchable, especially early on when the content is more episodic, but it never amounts to "enjoyable" unless you're awfully interested in how to apply production wrong. 4/10

Nijiyon Animation

Nijigaku never was the most interesting Love Live, and its "full" version already trended towards the contentless side. Nijiyon is just an even more stripped down version of that. Not that that's a surprise, I suppose it's pretty much average for a tie-in short, but it certainly doesn't reach the highs of a Garupa Pico. The adaptataion of Miyako Hito's character designs to 3D animation also leaves quite a bit to be desired. On the other hand, 3 minutes a week don't need to be good to bother with, and there is a few episodes that are a bit more creative than not at all. Overall, barely acceptable for what it is. 5/10

Koori Zokusei Danshi to Cool na Douryou Joshi

Now this is a case where I don’t even know what to say. This show is so insubstantial that I had to spend the season with a team of particle scientists at CERN to even determine with 3-sigma confidence whether it actually exists. Now, lack of much of anything means there’s nothing to take exception with, so it’s not a bad experience in the moment, but in hindsight it becomes hard to argue that there wouldn’t have been better ways to spend the time - especially since the ending is somehow the least committed part of it. It does have its occasional moments, but even those are mostly happening in the periphery with the supporting cast. It’s cute and not annoying, but that’s not really the standard anything should aspire to. 5/10

Ooyukiumi no Kaina

So here's the other adventure anime of the season, and since I talk about it later, it's better than Trigun (and no, Hikari no Ou will not show up later since it was too bad to pick up). It doesn't have the luxurious character animation, or to be more precise, it has actually pretty bad character animation courtesy of Polygon. But on the other hand, the environment is worth showing in the first place. In fact, Kaina's gorgeous and interesting setting may be its biggest asset, since the characters are fairly bland and the story is extremely basic and somewhat flimsy too - it's hard to describe since languid pacing isn't exactly a rarity, but this one just doesn't feel slow, it feels lacking in content. this gets better towards the end, but even then it's just barely enough. So no surprises coming from Nihei. And yeah, there's a bunch of Blame references too. So, not exactly great but unlike Trigun, at least moderately engaging. 6/10

Benriya Saitou-san, Isekai ni Iku

They did it, the absolute madlads. Now, Handyman is not the first isekai story worth watching, but it may be the closest to the average basic bitch isekai that pulls it off and the first to have the curse-word in the title. That said, it still isn't really one of those (if it was, it would be terrible by definition). What it actually is is a fairly widely scoped fantasy parody, and since isekai is just the prime trope in fantasy nowadays, isekai takes a fairly major role but it isn't what really defines it. I'd describe it as somewhat like early Discworld through the lens of LN fantasy ca. 2023. And then it just stops being a moderately funny comedy and turns into moderately engaging drama, mostly centered around senile wizard Morlock. Like Kaina, it isn't outstanding or anything but it does feel pretty special for making this work at all, starting with a cursed genre and then pulling off the hairy feat of changing tones. I respect it. 6/10

D4DJ All Mix

This seemed like a pretty safe bet, and I can't say I'm disappointed. Another competent Sanzigen adaptation of a Bushiroad gacha franchise, what a time to be alive. That said, All Mix is not as good as First Mix mostly on account of First Mix actually having something resembling a story. All Mix now features 6 bands and especially early on, all it can do with it is giving all the characters a chance to do their gimmick in turn. Thankfully that gets better later on, but even then it's only episodic mini-plots with one or two bands. Lyrical Lily gets comparatively the most attention, and they're a pretty likeable bunch, but they're still no Happy Around. So All Mix has all the Umamusume focus problems while not even having the occasional real standout subplots of that show. It's cute enough, but very insubstantial even compared to its hardly profound predecessor. 6/10

Sugar Apple Fairy Tale

Conventional wisdom says that a romantic comedy doesn't need much more than two good leads, and by that metric Sugar Apple Fairy Tale certainly delivers. Ann and Challe have a good, sweet and spicy dynamic going on that's consistently entertaining. So far so good then, what's the catch? The catch is that this isn't a romantic comedy and often tries for drama, and on that front it doesn't do so well. But first, I'll say that this show's takes on slavery and misogyny aren't so hot. Not that I expect nuance or complexity from a thing that has "fairy tale" literally in the title, or that I think they have the wrong attitude, but if all you're saying amounts to "it sure is bad", that's not worth the time this show spends on it. All it does is fuel the drama, and as stated, said drama is not the highlight anyway. The cast beside the main two is a mixed bag as well, especially the moustache twirling villains, who just keep stealing Ann's sugar for moustache twirling reasons. The setting is functional but not much more than that. So in the end, this show has quite a bit going for it but instantly gets into trouble when it tries to do anything more meaingful than cute fluff, which is fairly often. 6/10

Mou Ippon!

Mou Ippon is extremely easy to describe: It's a very simple but competent sports shounen manga adaptation with a notably strong cast. That right there tells you everything you need to know, good and bad. The bad is limited to the "sports shounen manga" part, because that kind of storytelling just never quite works for me in animation. Whenever sport is taking place, expect an intense amount of sideline commentary and minutes of flashback in the middle of every other throw. It just is what it is. The "simple" part is already more of a benefit than a detriment though, because Mou Ippon knows what it's good at and stays in its lane, which is giving the characters room to do their thing. And all the characters, including all the opponents, are likeable and fleshed out just enough to make them seem fully realized, without overcomplicating things. This leads to some nice positive seishun vibes, and while the simplicity limits how good this show really can be, when executed this well I'll take it over misguided ambition everyday. It's just enjoyable. 7/10

Tensei Oujo to Tensai Reijou no Mahou Kakumei

So after Handyman Saitou was pretty decent, this one is the real twist. Sure, it doesn't have "isekai" in the title, but that's only the top of the list of garbage LN source material tells, and "tensei" is right behind it, just ahead of "yuusha" and "maou". So imagine my surprise when the "reincarnation" part of this show is entirely limited to about a minute of conversation in the final episode and even then its relevalnce is questionable. That's as good a way to do it as I've ever seen, question remains if they really had to pull a ruse like this. I've seen plenty of pointlessly isekai shows before, but they were never as minimal as this and more importantly, they were never good anyway. And Tensei Oujo is good indeed, it's a solid romantic fantasy drama with a setting and characters strong enough to carry that weight, and it's simply fun to see trash queen Anisphia and cool princess Euphie develop their relationship through trials and tribulations that are neither too farfetched (for a fantasy story anyway) nor too generic - mostly. Yes, the base content delivers, but there's still too many underwhelming lazor fight scenes that add nothing and aren't exciting in their own right, there's too many plot arcs that repeat too many of the same beats, it's a bit too talky and slowly paced, and the drama flips into melodrama occasionally, especially towards the end. So it is indeed a light novel, but I won't hold that against it too strongly when it delivers the one thing I didn't expect, namely a real ending. And that ending has everything one traditionally expects from a proper ending too: closure, denouement and lesbian sex. 7/10