#especially with ‘high functioning’

[littlepocketlove]

Hey guys! I might have autism and I’m fucking terrified!!!

[archersartcorner]

I think the Bad Kids deserve to cry a lil. As a treat. IT’S CATHARTIC!!!!!!!!!!!

[spooksforsammy]

Saw really wrong statement so need get out.

Low functioning autistics do exist. High functioning autistics exist too. It an identify, and for some a diagnosis. You might not like term, or want used on self, but to say no one is functioning label is wrong.

Know others who call self low functioning n know some who use high functioning. Know some who use severe autism and special needs. Know some who hate those and only use autism/ support labels. That’s fine! It’s how identify self.

No the world shouldn’t determine worth based off how much can do. But some of us have accepted not able do much for society. Accepted fact can’t function how society wants. That ok.

Please don’t say (low/ high) functioning autistics don’t exist. Because then forget n block out so many of use that do exist

[recycledraccoon]

I think my thoughts on the penultimate episode can be summoned up as disappointment over a potential we didn't get to see, and why that's ok. (This got long, 1.4k oops lol)

Am I a fan of The Rat Grinders? ABSOLUTELY. I think I started liking them even more when they were full-on confirmed villains. As fan's of the edited show, watching with a week between each episode to theorize and think, I loved seeing and theorizing over these 6 fucked up kids. We know Kipperlily prior to the second half of sophomore year, while she obviously still had her anger and jealousy over TBK's it wasn't ENTIRELY unjustified and completely out of control (although some aspects were utterly and absolutely unfounded and ridiculous). Jawbones file mentions her language being "I think Aguefort likes them more", "The school takes it easy on them", and "Half of them don't even go to classes." All of these are true things people in this world would notice. It's not until AFTER their Mountain of Chaos chaperoned trip, at the end of the year, that KLCK switches to "I hate them." The Bad Kids further briefly discuss if Jace would have asked Jawbone/looked for "students with rage disorders." I think specifically mention it being a disorder is important. Acknowledging its there, KLCK WAS trying to get help for an issue she had. They didn't talk to Jawbone about it, but did decide Jace must have given he went on that quest with TRG's. They further briefly talk about students getting randomly mad, and yes they specifically joked about Fabian shitting in class, but WE also remember the Soil club student getting so mad after having gotten that tainted soil. With the 30 Riz rolled, Jawbone's file ALSO specifically talks about Kipperlily loving her adventuring party. We know things weren't perfect, its obvious from when talking about their name change, but its still there and canon. Kipperlily loved her adventuring party. This is all just Kipperlily, mostly with our information from the first part of ep.16. It is not touching on the rest of the members, especially Ruben and his dreamscape we saw, or of his distinct 180 musical tastes POST Sophomore Year Spring Break. The implications of something happening to them during that time is pretty evident and acknowledged. So we're fans, watching a show, spending so much time thinking about not only our infamous protagonists, but also our villains. Many of us adults, getting older, thinking on the tragedy befalling kids and feeling empathy. So yeah. It's a disappointment over an unseen potential. Specifically tho? Its the potential we could have gotten on The Rat Grinder's thoughts and motivations that could have been revealed through dialogue. Dialogue that we got very little of in what could be considered a significant exchange of dialogue and not bits. I always have high narrative expectations from this show, due to its long standing history of SETTING those standards each and every season. This one episode just fell short emotionally while watching, comparatively.

AND THAT'S OK AND ABSOLUTELY NOT THE BAD KIDS/INTREPID HEROES FAULT

On the narrative side of things, The Bad Kids have had an incredibly stressful past 3 years. From day one, they have been involved in life or death stakes situations. It's always been do or die, and they've died, sometimes more than once. They've lost people and faced traumas that go often unaddressed. TBK's ENTIRE highschool experiences have been a revolving door of violence and unhinged situations. They've also always kinda been assholes, insular and more than a little mean especially to those pegged as enemies. We know them, know they have good hearts and intentions, and love and side with them constantly throughout because The Bad Kid's are our heroes. They are still teenage assholes sometimes, but that is something we love and forgive them for. The thing about this recent battle is that they are very used to the situation they are in by now. TBK's have to prioritize, move fast and hard, and get a job done so countless people don't die while something evil rises in their world. Emotions have been high for them all season, rage especially which is absolutely unsurprising on multiple fronts, and it's absolutely showing in what few dialogue exchanges we have. The Bad Kid's entered that gym for the singular purpose of stopping the situation, saving lives, and making sure something evil didn't arise to power in their fucked up world. Nothing new. They hid, already knowing where the final confrontation was going to be FORCED to happen in due to the nature of the ritual, and prepped. On point and smart of them. Then they entered the battlefield, very quickly getting to business. They know their skills, their friends and how to work together as a devastatingly effective team making heavy hits and masterfully controlling a battlefield despite the chaos. This is what The Bad Kid's Do. They got Ivy and Oisin out of combat as fast as possible, Oisin didn't even get a turn. They took out a high-damage long range attacker and the enemy wizard. They know how powerful and important Adaine is on the field, and they knew Oisin would have been the same. They crippled the enemy with the slow spell, effectively taking Mary Ann out of the running until it gets dispelled later on. Fig saw Ruben's high damage level 9 spell and dropped her ploy to get him out of combat as soon as she could. It was too dangerous to have him up, and while the hell bit was uncomfortable in the moment, it is absolutely on brand. This is what they have to do, if they want to stop Porter, who is our real main big-bad. Remove as many obstacles from the battle so more of them can focus on the fight that really matters.

This combat wasn't ever gonna go any other way, unless the dice gods decided otherwise.

This is what The Bad Kid's Do. In regards to the IH's, it is VERY important to acknowledge that while I've mentioned having high narrative expectations, this is still primarily an improve comedy show around a group of real people's DnD game. It's also a show they have a tight filming schedule for, with back to back days and long hours which we KNOW from the talk-backs leave them very tired. Like any tv show they also have a limit on how many episodes per season they can even produce. I think it was a real and genuine benefit to Sophomore year that they were doing it live, because it gave more time between sessions for the IH's to mull over information and whats been happening in-game. This is also a very well developed campaign world they haven't played in several years, which I certainly know would effect me in how I played. We still have one more episode, the Finale, and so much always happens there. I have incredible faith in Brennan as a DM and storyteller, for all that his players have a huge say in how any story he tells unfolds. There is a VERY real chance that what happens in the finale completely changes my mind on episode 19, and I will go back to rewatch with absolute glee because I know of the coming emotional catharsis in relation to The Rat Grinders. There is also a very real chance we don't get that in the way we want it, but that will be ok too. I will still love this season, rewatch it and laugh and have fun. The best part of having a fandom, is watching us take canon apart to fuel endless au's, fix-it's, character studies, ect. Taking crumbs and going wild with it is par the course, especially when something in a show has left us wanting in the moment of watching it. I think more than anything, I would be and am more upset from infighting and genuine anger directed to each other and especially towards our Intrepid Heroes. It is not wrong to be upset with an episode of a show, but it is to take those feelings out on others, be in in defense from Rat Grinder's fans or justification from Rat Grinder haters. So yes! I was disappointed with this particular episode emotionally. I still think it was funny, I think the combat was brilliant and fun to watch. I still love this show and this cast, and could never dream of being mad at them for how they played a game, and for the fun they were finding within the act of playing it as the well-known unhinged improv comedians we know and love.

I'm excited for next week, buuut I am absolutely consuming fan-content to help deal with my emotions, both the highs and lows.

[kindaasrikal]

Love deeply platonic relationships where two individuals are practically platonic soulmates who care for each other deeply and have changed each other’s life significantly.

Hate it when the fandom sees is as romantic tho.

[musicalyeetreblr]

I hate it when people critique love never dies and phantom of manhattan by saying Gustave/Pierre acts autistic because my brother in Christ how do you think Erik figured out the kid was his.

[orcelito]

I got.... my official adhd diagnosis....🥺🥺🥺🥺

Had my appointment where she went thru all the different parts of the testing and what they found by it. All sorts of things that I didn't even Realize what it was testing. And they pointed to combined type adhd!!!!!

There was also an iq test involved, specifically to test working memory in comparison to other categories, bc that's smth that adhd people tend to score low on. And I did too!!!! Compared to my other scores, at least. It was still average overall, but I scored "high average" on verbal comprehension and "superior" on perceptual reasoning and processing speed. WHICH MEANS!!!! Working memory was my low thing!!! Another thing pointing to it!!!!

Also the weird X test I took was the CPT-3 test and apparently it was geared Specifically towards adhd stuff. Which bc of my "atypically fast" reaction speed + "very elevated" commissions rate (which in this context means incorrectly hit space bar, aka I clicked when I wasn't supposed to) it showed a strong indication of impulsivity & some indication of inattentiveness and vigilance. That impulsivity is the big one here tho.

I'm just really excited now. I have a long report talking about all my brain stuffs that says I Do have adhd and that it would benefit me to take stimulants. AND!!!!! That I DONT have depression or anxiety!!!! That's a fuckin big one!!!!!! Bc they've avoided giving me stimulants in the past bc of the "anxiety" except I don't got it!!!! The examiner said exactly what I thought about it, which is that the prior disgnoses of depression and anxiety probably stemmed from effects of the untreated adhd. Aka I had Feels Bad Disorder. Ykno? Except not actually a disorder bc it was just a byproduct.

SO! Hopefully that can help me to get proper meds as soon as possible. Gonna be contacting my doctor to set up an appointment... soon!!!!!

[gurorori]

if you say shit like 'autism is not a disability' i hope you actually have really bad things happen to you and you are banned from the autism community for the foreseeable future. get another fun weird club if you so badly need one

so profoundly tired of people trying to make autism into this whimsical quirkiness when it's for most people a serious and debilitating life altering disorder

[nocompromise-noregrets]

five good things, really quickly

before I head off to work, because I have a small handful of them right now...

Big one first: I am GOING TO FINLAND IN OCTOBER DAMMIT! Going for eleven days because...

PRIVATE LINE HAVE REFORMED AND ARE PLAYING A SHOW FOR THE FIRST TIME IN I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY YEARS! and although Japa is no longer in the band...

HIS NEW BAND IS ALSO PLAYING A SHOW THE PREVIOUS WEEKEND! so...

I am going to be in Helsinki between 18 and 28 October :D :D :D Been planning stuff to do (I have an Excel spreadsheet with all the museums and stuff and their entrance costs filterable by location oh god, spent yesterday evening doing that, now all I have to do is put opening days/times in cos I was too frazzled to do it last night) and if I buy a Museum Card which is currently reduced by €11 I can get into everywhere freeeeeee! Thus saving, if I actually go to everywhere on the list (it's a long list) several hundred euros. XD

Also one of the other bands I used to go and see at Trashfest lo these many years ago are finally playing this end of the country (they're from the east midlands and never play down this way) at the beginning of October SUPPORTING A BAND I LOVED IN THE 90S WHO I DIDN'T REALISE WERE BACK!!!

And and AND our local cinema is showing all three EXTENDED EDITIONS OF LOTR this coming weekend and I AM GOING. I cannot WAIT I am going to be sitting on my own in the cinema being an absolute ball of squee it's been OVER TWENTY YEARS since I saw those darlings on the big screen!

AND, just for the hell of it, the 20th anniversary event I'm hosting on here for King Arthur (2004) at the beginning of July is all kicking off! Prompt post and everything else at @ka20th for my beloved little fandom that could (and if anyone wants to prompt me for any of the themes do let me know!)

And my TRSB fic is coming on very nicely indeed. Can't talk about it but it's giving me the opportunity to develop someone I don't usually write as a main character AND throw in a lot of my favourite other characters to write, and the lovely @erathene's art is GLORIOUS. :D :D :D

Right then. Better go to work. Spending the day in the strongroom sorting out some minute books today, which is in fact a further Good Thing. XD

[soupbtch]

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[everybody-hit-the-pyro-cue]

specialized education and gifted children programs are so fucked up I see the purpose but the execution and expectations are genuinely horrific I've yet to meet a single one of us that's doing okay besides from those who just reached their breaking point and chose to stop caring

[hilaom]

neurotypicals stop forcing low functioning autistic family members to hug / kiss you challenge (impossible apparently)

[themyscirah]

Reading shit comics kind of sucks but at least I get the satisfaction of proving my own point w this

[winepresswrath]

I think it would be an improving experience for the writers who think surprising their audiences or leaving them sad and unsatisfied is the pinnacle of artistic achievement and have not noticed that the easiest way to bring that about is in fact to be bad at your job and the fans who think it should be illegal to write an ensemble or fail to clearly signpost the endgame couples or whether there's a happy ending to spend some time together, creatively speaking. Hand in unloveable hand.

[roguelibrarian]

I cannot even begin to describe how much it drives me up the wall when people try to avoid functioning labels by instead dividing autistic people into "those who can be exploited by capitalism" (in place of "high functioning") and "those who can't be exploited by capitalism" (in place of "low functioning")

because the people who you're saying "can't be exploited by capitalism" absolutely are exploited by capitalism all the time

intellectually and developmentally disabled people who have high support needs or are in institutions or day program type situations are often used as free or super cheap labor in sheltered workshops (we're talking people being paid pennies per hour) and it's completely legal

many school districts have programs where special ed students are used as unpaid janitorial staff for schools under the guise of "job training"

cognitively disabled children are more likely than abled children and children with other types of disabilities to be exploited for hazardous child labor

we are all being exploited by capitalism and perpetuating the myth that autistic people who need more support are being granted some kind of exemption from the system is super naive at best and straightforwardly ableist at worst

[m0thkiller]

worst part about autism isnt even the emotional outbursts. The worst part is the hot wash of shame as you have to go back and apologize or explain to everyone why you where shaking and crying and throwing shit like a barely contained animal for like three hours