#i didnt mention it in the initial thing bc i didnt want to get it diagnosed. bc i dont think a diagnosis for that would help me.

[elvisqueso]

Love me, love my raccoon [Part 3/3]:

—Meeko's new favorite human <3

[orcelito]

I got.... my official adhd diagnosis....🥺🥺🥺🥺

Had my appointment where she went thru all the different parts of the testing and what they found by it. All sorts of things that I didn't even Realize what it was testing. And they pointed to combined type adhd!!!!!

There was also an iq test involved, specifically to test working memory in comparison to other categories, bc that's smth that adhd people tend to score low on. And I did too!!!! Compared to my other scores, at least. It was still average overall, but I scored "high average" on verbal comprehension and "superior" on perceptual reasoning and processing speed. WHICH MEANS!!!! Working memory was my low thing!!! Another thing pointing to it!!!!

Also the weird X test I took was the CPT-3 test and apparently it was geared Specifically towards adhd stuff. Which bc of my "atypically fast" reaction speed + "very elevated" commissions rate (which in this context means incorrectly hit space bar, aka I clicked when I wasn't supposed to) it showed a strong indication of impulsivity & some indication of inattentiveness and vigilance. That impulsivity is the big one here tho.

I'm just really excited now. I have a long report talking about all my brain stuffs that says I Do have adhd and that it would benefit me to take stimulants. AND!!!!! That I DONT have depression or anxiety!!!! That's a fuckin big one!!!!!! Bc they've avoided giving me stimulants in the past bc of the "anxiety" except I don't got it!!!! The examiner said exactly what I thought about it, which is that the prior disgnoses of depression and anxiety probably stemmed from effects of the untreated adhd. Aka I had Feels Bad Disorder. Ykno? Except not actually a disorder bc it was just a byproduct.

SO! Hopefully that can help me to get proper meds as soon as possible. Gonna be contacting my doctor to set up an appointment... soon!!!!!

[thatdeadaquarius]

Hi Aquarius!

I had an idea I wanted to share with you: SAGU creator reader who likes to make little bits and bobs for their acolytes. For example, Childe vaguely mentions that his gloves are starting to wear out? The creator crochets or knits him a new pair-Can’t have his fingers getting chilled in the Snezneyan snow now can we?

(I just wanna give my skrunklis lil gifts and make them happy is all :3)

(Also, could I possibly be 💌anon?)

WHOFOHNJDFjhkbfsgddf Genuine keyboard slam i just kinda slammed my hands down in excitement ahem-

That would be a lovely idea anon, yes very much so indeed,

so im like hella into giving ppl useful but still aesthetic/pretty gifts, like i dont want the things i give ppl to be things that get donated/thrown away (when i genuinely care abt a person)

Also IF I DIDNT RUN U OFF FOR BEING SO LATE YES HELLO U CAN DEFINITELY BE 💌 ANON THATS SO CUTE I LOVE THAT EMOJI-

☆

Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (they/them only)

Planet: General SAGAU / Isekai Stuff, Platonic Cutenss

Orbit: Headcanons-ish, a couple sentences for each

Stars: Everybody from elements Pyro, Electro and Anemo! Plus Aether/Lumine/Dainsleif!

Please understand that some characters are more “foreground” characters and have more screen time so I may have written some more for them because I knew them better!

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: weapons for gifts?? 16+ Older Teen + Up Audiences Advised, light cussing

& Trigger Warnings: None Known.

SO U KNOW WHAT THAT MEANSSSS

THIS IS MY JAMMMMM, MY PB&J BITCHEESSSS GET REKTT

☆

AHAHAHAHA- YOU’RE ALL GETTIN SPAMMED WITH JUST GIFT IDEAS I HAVE FOR WHAT TO GIVE THEM- YOU DO NOT HAVE CHOICE. YOU WILL BE GIVING GIFTS TO THE TEYVATIANS, THEY DESERVE GOOD THINGS. SUCK IT.

EDIT 9/19/23: WTF HELLO??!!! 1000+ NOTES??!?! THANK YOU SO MUCH?!!!!!! <3

PART 1 (you're here!) / PART 2

ELEMENTS HERE: Babygirls, Pyro, Electro, Anemo

☆

Babygirls:

Aether = The most beautiful, amazing, sleek, and functional pretty hairpin that is also a knife! So he can have that badass moment of unsheathing it from his hair and having a surprise weapon and showing off his long hair, acted all shy when you gave it to him, he doesn’t get gifts often, all the birthday letters were for you afterall, i feel like you deffo have walked in on him miming taking it out all badass for practice lol

Lumine = bless her, you handed her this gift and she just looked up at you and u swear didnt blink or look away for a full minute. Then she nearly crushed you to death squeezing you, god she’s muscular, as you made a sort of self-care kit, including her favorite scents you added to like blank soaps/face masks, and towels you initialed with “Lumi”, she deserves a break afterall (and she thinks you deserve it too, and subtly tries to get you to join like *“*oh this is so sweet, something for us to do together”)

Dainsleif = sad little man deserves happy little things, you make him a weighted blanket, in these blankets it’s usually like sand or something that is put into little like quilt squares so it evenly distributes weight, but you used that water from the fountain that soothes Khaenri’ah people’s curse instead. He literally went speechless when you gave it to him. He has not had a single night of insomnia since. He would literally do anything for you, and literally stole you off to the side after a few nights of good sleep to tell you this lmao

Pyro Allogenes:

Diluc = Another bitch who just needs a break, you steal him off one evening and tell him you need a hilichurl camp wiped out, and there’s a cryo mage so you need him, bc thats the only way this workaholic is actually gonna drop everything and actually take care of himself, you have to deceive him, and then surprise him by showing him a hot spring you found. Teyvat has a lot more things to it now that it’s in real life, and that includes natural hot springs apparantly, and you’ve already prepped the place too, with his favorite non-alcoholic drinks, some indulgent foods like chocolate and fruits, and a soft robe. Man’s went wide eyed and nearly fell in LMAO, and then, looking away all pink, said he couldn’t accept this… unless you joined him.

Amber = a pair of comfy shoes, with baron bunny decorated all over them, like you sewed patches over them to personalize it, and the insoles are GODLY good, so she can run to Sumeru at this rate and her feet will feel like she went for a light jog! Some Mondstadt citizens, and knights tbh, are honestly a little afraid of Amber now bc her feet aching was sometimes the only thing stopping her from going 100% all the time lol

Bennett = a lucky charm, yes, yes, I know, basic, but it’s different coming from you! You’ve given him a bandana to wear as a neckerchief around his throat (it’s unprotected and he’s that unlucky?!) and it fits great, you’ve made it from Liyue materials, and imbued it with geo energy, so it actually makes a small shield/barrier around his head lmao, he’s practically thanking you every week and telling you how it helped him that week 💀

Klee = a treasure hunt map you made! every little stop/treasure gives her some candy or a snack, plus the next instructions, and she insists you go with her, and drags you along lol, and you planted them within range of the Mondstadt so she’s not too far off, and the final treasure (bc u planned it so she was supposed to start at a certain time/get to the end in a few hours) she finds at late sunset, and it’s a type of challenge that u were able to make, (bc apparently being the “highest god” means u get dev access, like the teapot functions but more OP). It makes a rainbow of glowing fish appear as targets to better Klee’s bomb throwing skills, and to entertain her, she gives the most dramatic gasp ever, and is just vibrating telling you “The fishes! They’re so pretty! ‘Bedo said that you give the greatest gifts, and he was so, so, so SO right!! Thank you very much!!!” :D in her cute little voice and then proceeds to speedrun you a hug and then starts throwing bombs lmao

Xiangling = HOO BOY- she has nearly every cooking utensil known to man, thanks to her being a young famous chef, and bc her family’s restaurant makes good money bc of it, so it was hard to think of something for her, but you eventually made her a handwritten and sewn together recipe book (look up “how to make zine”, its very easy actually, theres one with sewing the paper and a smaller one with just folding). It’s full of all of your favorites from Earth and what you think could substitute here, and how it should taste. Xiangling literally took your hands and spun you bc she hates luxury stuff, and really loves and appreciates homemade gifts, it’s the first anyone’s heard of your homeworld’s food so it makes her feel special <3 (she will be constantly harassing you with a spoonful of food to try and see if it’s close)

Hu Tao = You remembered one of Shakespeare’s plays and wrote a rough screenplay for Yunjin to adapt, then took Hu Tao with you to see it! She loves poetry and singing, so she loves to see Yunjin play usually, but she hadn’t had the time lately bc of funeral spirit work, (u also brought Zhongli so she could have fun embarrassing him lol), and she literally made a whole bit/joke about getting down on one knee to marry you, which was promptly interrupted by said embarrassed adepti, people even clapped lmao

Xinyan = You made her an aweinspiring outfit to wear onstage, modeled after classic rockstars from your world, she nearly teared up at the sight of it, and then nearly took ur ear out bc she was getting so loud and excited, u try to convince her otherwise, but Xinyan refuses to wear it outside of big occasions like Lantern Rite or performances with Yunjin (looks like this, I tried very hard ok, check it: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/76631631152377154/)

Yanfei = Once again, a written book, or at least 20 rap songs for her to look through. This sounds weird, but she eventually hopes to see a future where people are just better at obeying laws and considers then she’d be out of a job. So, after seeing some of Xinyan’s performances, she decided her back up career would be a rapper. She will literally stop you every time she sees you and lowkey force you to hear her latest rap she’s made, partially inspired from the Earth ones you gave her a lot of the time! She literally talked your ear off for hours, and didnt realize that she linked arms with you at one point and made you both walk at least 3 miles around the port lol, very embarrassed but grateful for the gift, another person who really adores homemade stuff

Thoma = you sewed him a cute plushie of Taromaru, along with a little plushie tea cup set. He literally covered his mouth in shock, and turned away, were those tears?? Very carefully took his gift and nearly bent in half bowing and thanking you for the gift, and was cutely touchy all day, linking arms, guiding you by gently nudging your back in crowds, etc. You once woke him up out a day nap on accident trying to find him, and he walked out half-asleep clutching the plushie Taromaru and nearly jumped a foot in the air at the sight of you lol, all like “HIGH EMPEROR?! OH MY- Oh my gods- Uh- sorry, so sorry about that!” and then proceeds to immediately hide Taro behind his back all red in the face lmao, refuses to acknowledge it, will get even redder if you keep pressing him about it lol

Yoimiya = so Yoimiya canonically really loves to go out into nature and explore, and go for that sunset hike type of person! so you, once again assume all these thru tutorial or teyvat craftsmen help, made her a hammock! She’s apparently really bad about falling asleep outside, and since hammocks can be really lightweight and good for temperate weather (ive tried it, sleepin in a hammock for camping its kinda nice, as long as you dont fall out/toss and turn a lot in ur sleep), and you even added some extra ropes on the sides so she can tie it down and not upend herself while she’s sleeping (keeps the hammock from tilting). She literally squealed and dragged u all over Inazuma trying it out with you, and because she chats with her neighbors/community a lot, EVERYONE KNOWS YOU GOT HER A HAMMOCK, YOU PAINTED IT AND EVERYTHING, DID YOU KNOW YOIMIYA IS ONE OF THE ALLOGENES THAT GOT BLESS WITH A PERSONAL GIFT FROM THE ALL-GOD??!! - everyone in Inazuma near her house, including yoimiya

Dehya = so Dehya likes to upkeep personal hygiene as much as she can between her mercenary job roughness and the general battery of the desert. She also is known to stop by the market place to pick up makeup and other personal hygiene products! So you figured if she’s collected so many of those over time, she might just have a practical bag to carry them in, and you offer her a multi-pocket cloth bag (like for taking makeup when you travel bags) and also attach a mirror inside! She literally covered her face with her hands and Dunyazard lightly teased her for weeekkssss lmao, and the other guys in her mercenary group like “wowww, someone managed to tame the Flame Mane?” which just makes her more shy bc the God of ALL decided to HANDMAKE her a gift, and not just a frilly thing, an ACTUAL USEFUL PRETTY GIFT- she accidentally set her claymore alight when you finished explaining what it was and handed to her (it’s fireproof too)

Electro Allogenes:

Lisa = a decorated tea set! Specifically, you painted it her favorite color, with some of her favorite book quotes across the saucers and her favorite flowers across the teapot. She gave you the prettiest smile, and just “Oh cutie! For little old me? You’re a bit above a librarian like me, but I’ll still accept this with all the grace of a lady courted, haha!” insists on “trying them out” with you all the time, especially when you get too busy from the other allogenes <3

Fischl (they/them Fischl supremacy) = You made a book cover (like how some books will have the paper sleeve and the actual hardcover is just colored? like that) of Prinzessin der Verteilung, but looking a lot more like them rather then the old protagonist! They collectively lost their mind over it for literal weeks, and did the same for you for your most relatable protagonist! :D They insist you two start a fantasy book club now- NO they don’t care if you’re the All Fürst! That makes you all the more qualified for joining the elite literature society they’re starting!

Razor = a bunch of hair ties! You’ve made scrunchies, bows, clips, etc. for him to try and decorate his hair with, all of things he likes, like little wolf puppies, or Andrius’ but cuteified, little symbols of all his friends like little bomb design hairclips for Klee, a red four leaf clover for Benny, a purple rose for Lisa, a golden star for the traveler, and an eight pointed star, like the four-pointed one but with some flare in between its points. A prominent symbol apparently associated with you u found out :0, Razor is giving Barbara and Klee a run for their money bc of how cute he looks walking into town for Lisa’s lessons with all this cute little clips and hair ties and braids in his hair now <3

Keqing = you know. you know EXACTLY what to give her. Plushies of cute animals or creatures in or around Liyue, like the little snow foxes from Dragonspire, a tiny oceanid, the small geovishaps, etc. Keqing doesn’t care if you’re a god, remember! So you better swear to never tell a soul you made her these!! …she sleeps with them too.

Raiden Shogun (puppet) = what to give a cold hard b*tch? …a break. you talk to Ei and make her give the puppet some off days, and you also may or may not have bullied Ei for being a hermit, so she can explore and learn more about herself, instead of being forced into the image, literally, of her god. She tries to write you months in advance for making plans on her days off so you can join her!

Ei (god) = an open window bc she’s a hermit, i mean of course you bring her out on “updates” (she weirdly choked a little over tea when you presented this idea to her, “Ahem- cough- a date? Oh, as in getting more familiar with the world, yes of course,” you basically pull out a map and take her to other countries so she can see how the other gods are doing these days and finally do something new, she is overwhelmed but in a good way? And she's especially willing to do it if you keep calling them that, these “up-dates”

Yae Miko = you were honestly kind of intimidated by giving Yae Miko a handmade gift, it just seemed like she would like something of high quality, which your gifts weren’t always guaranteed to be. So instead, you didn’t. You made a cool little picnic, and in remembering her love of stories from her lore as a kid, you brought some of your world’s stories to show her, the classics, then any favorites of yours, and some you thought she might like, and read them all to her about once a week. You both talk about and discuss the book and let Yae nitpick it and try to give her more context for books like Shakespeare in hope to answer all her detailed questions about the stories. Yae was so fucking smug (and secretly so in love) that she wrote a story for Yae Publishing House about it… “Joining a Book Club with the Akitsu Mikami, a Romance Novel” 💀

Sara = damn another busy woman, you steal her away with the promise of “needing a body guard” and she immediately answers and drops everything (u made sure to choose a slow day, dw ur not a rude god) andddd you’ve got her! Sara literally just stood there in shock when you showed up at your meeting place with homecooked food, specifically new recipes from your world, and some recipes from Xiangling! She would not stop stuttering out thanks yous the entire time, and fumbled with her chopsticks constantly, and she ate a lot, and even shyly asked if she could take some of it with her for later, now anytime you mention food around her she unintentionally starts looking at you with puppy dog eyes, (baby crow eyes??) even if the rest of her posture is perfect/gives nothing away lol

Beidou = A hand woven wine cask holder! a bit more solid so you can paint some designs on it, and you painted the whole crew, with Kazuha in the crow’s nest and Beidou is the biggest figure on it (stylized, u arent trying to paint a renaissance artwork here) and you even put her name on it “Captain Beidou” :) You were rewarded with a tall muscular woman squeezing you with her muscular arms, Beidou only puts her best wine/sake bottle in it, and only uses it for special occasions! she may or may not have had to make sure and hide it in her Captain’s quarters so other pirates won’t steal it, since everybody on the seas heard about the All Mighty giving her a personalized gift, but dont worry! She’s a pirate captain, she’s used to defending her most prized treasures from others <3

Shinobu = a spa day for another overworking woman, you made her another mask and hair tie! They still match her of course, but they also subtly have that eight point star symbol you’ve had associated with yourself before (like the four point but with a little flare), and she literally went so red, she hid behind Itto for a second. who helped morally support her enough to try it on, and it’s definitely her most comfortable mask!

Cyno = you were a little… embarrassed to make this one, but Cyno mentioned wanting it so… You made a TCG card of yourself. With the world in your hands as you hover in the middle of a solar system, you paint yourself giving a small smile down at Teyvat’s world cupped in your hands. One of the symbols they associate with you, the eight pointed star, not equal points, but rather a four pointed star with embellishments, said symbol glows and dangles from a necklace you wear, above it all. You swear he stared at it for a solid minute without blinking, and when you initially offered it, Cyno held it like it was spun glass. He gently laid it on a table nearby, his eyes never leaving it as he got out his deck, and put the card of you, on the very top. The mahamatra then gently set it down, and then gently hugged you and picked you up off your feet a bit (when you said maybe you were too heavy for this, he just raised an eyebrow, and that’s when you remembered that trailer of him throwing a body-builder man, one-armed, over his shoulder. He easily lifted you and set you back down. 💀)

Dori = A herb garden. Strange, but Dori’s sister has a lot of medical issues, and the herbs can be hard to come by, even for Dori, you didn’t tell her that you read some parts of her life, but when she saw the planter box, she knew. You had ventured far and wide, all over Teyvat, and the stuff you had came with you! so you put one of every herb you had or went out and got some because you’ve been exploring Teyvat anyway. And for once… you made sure no one was around, Dori teared up. She carefully set the box full of lively plants aside, and you were in the middle of explaining how to take care of them when she just, wrapped her smaller frame around your lower legs. You squatted down to hug her back :’)

Anemo Allogenes:

Venti = another book you made (look up “how to make a zine” on youtube it’s actually kinda easy) that you filled with all the lyrics to all your favorite songs, and some classics! The bard was ecstatic because he technically had vague knowledge or recognition of most of Teyvat’s songs, but songs from another world didn’t count, hehe! …he may or may not have lightly guilt-tripped you into trying to sing or hum some of the tunes or melodies of the songs, “I need to hear the melody so I may play it for you for eternity, your highness!” That’s his gift back, is that now you can get a Venti medieval sounding cover version of any song you like lmao

Sucrose = you’ve made another book (bought in Teyvat or made, check out “how to make a zine” on youtube it’s easy so I think you could feasibly handmake it!) and filled it with as much information as you can on how things like electricity works, luckily you can still retrieve information from Earth thanks to Albedo managing to somehow get you a signal?? You don’t wanna know, but point is, she’s literally spiraling. It’s been days, Albedo had to be the one to drag her out of the lab and eat, while you are starting to doubt if your gift did more harm then help… as soon as you voice these thoughts to Sucrose she nearly shook your head off from shaking your shoulders so hard while she ranted about phones, telephone poles, paved roads and she actually offered books back in exchange, for leveling allogenes up, as long as you told her more about “Those ships that go underwater again?? Please, Your Highness???” cute puppy dog eyes but worse bc she’s got cute glasses on too, oh no-

Jean = another workaholic woman who just needs a break, god why are there so many of them?? Your first thought was a spa day, but you like to think you can do better than that. In fact, she’s had a pretty heavy load since she was a kid trying to uphold the Gunnhildr clan’s name/knighthood, so you decide that instead of spa day, you should have a fun day! So you decide to take her out some days for some fun around Mondstadt (and recruit Venti to help do things like boost the winds for extra fun), like shield surfing! (look up Breath of the Wild shield surfing video if you dont know what i mean), it's something a lot of young knights do, and it’s perfect for Mondstadt’s hilly landscape! Other things like flying kites, or even rerouting all her work for part of the Windblume festival so she could enjoy it more! THEN you kidnap her all over again, and Barbara, to go to Fontaine! What better way for her to have genuine fun than getting a break to see and have fun with her younger sister and go see a colorful circus/fair? Jean was literally just a constant stream of “thank you your majesty! my gracious god, thank you- this is too much-, All-Fürst I am forever indebted to you for this!” and ur just like :/ Jean that’s the whole point of a gift is that you aren’t indebted to somebody-

Xiao = a friendship bracelet :) since he likes jewelry, and he likes you, it's perfect! and u made it match his necklace. you’ve also put that same water from the fountain that soothes the Khaenri’ah’s curse, and put it in there, and it actually lessens his karma, so for the first time in about 2 centuries, Xiao the Yaksha, can actually sleep through the night. You weren’t looking, but when you turned away to show him your sketches or plans for how to craft it, he sort of, reached out. You felt his hand warm on your wrist before it retreated, you could already feel the callouses, as the small weight of a bracelet was wrapped around your hand, his return gift, so u guys could match 👉👈 Xiao breathes out what sounds like all those years of pain in one shaky, relieved, “…thank you” (he did all that while you were turned around in your bag too, he was too shy to look at you when he put it on lmao)

Kazuha = “So this is what you’ve been up to lately, hm?” Kazuha’s been kind and laidback enough that he’s one of the allogenes who quickly dropped the formal titles luckily. He’s been seeing you sneak around and present your gifts to the others… and he came prepared in case you came to give him something too! Before you can even get out, “Hey, Kazuha, do you have a minute? I’ve got something for y-” boom. He’s beat you to it, he’s saying the same damn thing, and pulling out his gift for you. It’s a lovely Inazuman outfit, decked out in your favorite color, it’s like if you were an Inazuman character yourself- You just accept it half in shock, while Kazuha gives this small smile, but u can see the smug little look in his eyes, that little shit he really prepared a countermove- HE EVEN WROTE YOU REALLY SWEET POETRY AND EMBROIDERED IT INTO SOME OF THE INSIDE HEM LINES LIKE THE COLLAR -//////- ← you rn as Kazu’s all fucking smug, you end up just being like “take ur crummy gift u little shit” and nearly throw it at him lol, sweet asshole that he is, catches it anyway, and you’ve made him new hair ties, some minimal clips that look like maple leaves (like felt fabric stuck onto the clip bit) and the new hairtie is more like a scrunchie with a pretty red knot on top, your own symbol of an eight-pointed star, like an extra four-pointed star not the star of david lmao, sits in the center of the traditional japanese knot. He wears it nearly all the time, and mentions making you one to match (>:/ sweet considerate little shit he is)

Sayu = you’ve made her a quilt! stitched together from all sorts of cute fabrics, so it still matches her color scheme, she wraps up in it now before going into that balled up tanuki form lol, she insists you break it in with her and take a nap with her constantly lmao, and you give in even if you dont always sleep because of her tiny half-asleep smile (sayu knows the grip she has on you lol💔)

Heizou = a mystery novel a friendship necklace! you knew him and his friend had once had something similar, (they were more like matching river rocks or pebbles not jewelry you think) so you desperately hoped it wouldn’t be too offensive. The little shit who saw it coming #2, whereas Kazuha suspected you might offer him something, he didn’t have quite the same intution that Heizou did, so the detective knew you were going to give him something >:/ little snitch- he was so smug and teasing about it right up until he actually saw the necklace, it draped lower so it didnt look weird with his choker, and it was a pretty crystal you’d gotten from a riverbed (you didnt tell Heizou bc of the similarity w/his old friend, but he knew anyway) and he immediately looked the most serious you’ve ever seen him. His grin was less of a smirk and more of a smile when he processed what you gave him, and he wears it all the time :) Calls it his "God blessed good luck charm"

Scara/Wanderer = It was very hard, and you had to learn how from a blacksmith, but you finally got it! You made a small addon that latches onto the outside frame of his Vision, so instead of the sort of teardrop shape it has, you’ve made a heart shape. Since he sees the vision as his heart, you thought it’d be cute to actually see it that way! He was all like “I don’t wear jewelry, I already have some metal holding my Vision, are you trying to embarrass me?” You: “okay, well you don’t have to keep it, I’ll take it back-” Scara: “No? Shut up it’s mine now.” He went pink the first time he put it on, and he only wears it when it’s just you two, or you both and Nahida (bless her, she only lightly teased him, just enough to have him yell a little, not enough to discourage him)

Faruzan = a compass that points towards ruins/magical places, so she can explore all the ruins the desert has to give, and also, more importantly, guides her out, you deffo relied on a blacksmith for this one, and got Nahida to help you add the magic to it. She just got this, soft and bittersweet? look on her face, and redirected the nostalgic look towards you, bowed gently and thanked you, … you offered her a hug. Faruzan accepted, and you could feel the way she exhaled, relieved.

☆

(Throws this garbage at you really late and runs away to my bed)

Hope u liked literally any of that! ;-;

Also im not done as you can see! Im doing all the elements bc i love these skrunklies-

☆

Safe Travels Anon,

💀♒️

♡my beloved♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche

[tickly-trashcan]

Rebuilding {Optimus Prime and Megatron}

A/N: GAAH I couldn't decide which continuity this was HAHA I've only watched tfone and tfp so far hehe so we can say this is a way later version of tfone maybe?? yeahhh tfone sounds good... i literally wrote this last night and finished it this morning bc Optimus was on my MINDDD i could not get him out so i decided to torment him instead! there is also def some hinted megaop but i didnt want to fully commit to it haha but its def megaop bc im trash ANYWAYS ENJOY

Summary: Megatron and Optimus Prime are finally working together again to rebuild Cybertron. However, Optimus is a little bit distracted by something, and it is slowly beginning to annoy Megatron.

Word Count: 1.7k (under the cut!)

“Prime, are you listening to me?” Megatron asked, putting a hand on his hip as Optimus Prime stared out the window of the ship.

“Hmm? Oh– Yes, I am,” Optimus replied quietly as he turned to face Megatron, still zoned out.

Megatron narrowed his optics at Optimus, but continued regardless. “As I was saying, now that we’re rebuilding, I think we should initially focus on– Prime.”

Optimus continued to stare out the window, not noticing Megatron. He soon picked up on the fact that Megatron was no longer talking and looked at him again, his finials dipping slightly as he became aware of Megatron’s annoyance.

“I– Sorry… My mind is in a lot of places…”

“It should be here. I’m not going to waste my breath talking if you aren’t going to listen.”

Optimus nodded, quickly glancing out the window once more before turning back to Megatron. “I’m sorry, you’re right. It’s just– It doesn’t feel real.”

Megatron raised his optical ridge. “What doesn’t? The fact that our war has finally ended, or the fact that we’re going to rebuild Cybertron?”

Optimus shook his helm and then chuckled. “Well, I suppose both of those don’t quite feel real either… But I was talking about you.”

Megatron hesitantly took the seat next to Optimus, waiting to see if he would shy away from him or if he would try to move. When he did neither, Megatron relaxed slightly into the seat, watching Optimus with earnestness as he waited for him to continue.

“It doesn’t feel real… finally being back with you. As friends, I mean…”

Optimus’ finials were dipping even more, as if Megatron’s silence was negating what he had said about their friendship.

Megatron sighed. “We used to be more than just friends, Prime. But… I will admit, it is strange having to rebuild more than just Cybertron.” Megatron leaned back, letting his arm settle across Optimus’ shoulders, making him stiffen. Megatron did not pull away. “We– I have so much more to rebuild. I have to rebuild myself, I have to rebuild your trust… I have to rebuild us.”

Optimus could not help when his finials perked up at Megatron mentioning the two of them. “I have plenty of rebuilding to do as well, Megatron. You won’t be the only one needing to rebuild things… And I promise I will be with you every step of the way.”

Megatron smiled at that. Optimus let himself relax in Megatron’s arm, his finials moving happily.

Megatron chuckled as he took notice of his dancing finials. “You never did change that habit, did you now? Even as a Prime, you’re still the same bot I knew all those cycles ago.”

Megatron traced Optimus’ finial gently, making him gasp sharply and flinch away from his touch. Optimus brought a servo up to his finial, his faceplate heating, and looked at Megatron with an embarrassed look on his face. Megatron did not move, as if he was afraid that he had hurt Optimus.

Optimus chuckled awkwardly, his laugh signifying that Megatron had not harmed him. “Sorry… My finials are– Well, they’re sensitive.”

Megatron nodded his helm slowly and looked down. A small grin began to creep up his face as he realized what Optimus had told him, however, and he turned his helm back to grin mischievously at Optimus.

“Prime…” Megatron started, looking at Optimus’ finials that were twitching slightly in anticipation of what was likely to come. “Can you tell me exactly what you mean by sensitive? If I recall, there was a certain… sensitivity that you had all those cycles ago, if I’m not mistaken.”

Optimus leaned back slightly, but did not have very much space to lean into. He was up against the window, the table in front of him, in the seat with Megatron beside him… There was nowhere he could go.

Optimus cleared his intake and sat up a bit, trying to hide his growing nervousness. “They’re just… a bit ticklish, is all. Now, what were you saying earlier about rebuilding?”

Megatron nodded his helm slowly and drew his servo up close to his face, as if he were inspecting his digits. “Ah, yes, rebuilding… We must begin by rebuilding Cybertron, and I think that we should begin by focusing on supplying energon.”

Optimus relaxed a bit, thinking that he had successfully diverted Megatron’s attention. Optimus felt Megatron’s arm shift behind him, but thought nothing of it until he felt another gentle swipe to his finial, making him jolt and gasp.

“Megatron!”

“Are you still not listening to me, Prime? I already told you, I’m not going to talk if you won’t listen.”

Despite his tone, Megatron has a sly grin on his face. Optimus knew he was messing with him, and he would not rise to the bait. Optimus folded his arms and leaned back in the seat, into Megatron’s arm, and motioned for him to continue.

As Megatron talked, Optimus did his best to listen, but the way Megatron would gesture with his servo made him constantly anticipate another ticklish sensation on his finial. He could not see Megatron’s other servo, so he did not know when he would do it, and it made it so much more difficult to retain what Megatron was saying.

Suddenly, there was another touch to his finial, but it did not go away after just one swipe. Optimus flinched at the initial touch, then began to fight back shaky giggles as the touch continued, light and ticklish. Megatron toyed with his finial gently, tracing up and down while Optimus shook with contained laughter.

Megatron raised his optical ridge. “Is something the matter, Prime?”

“N-noho…” Optimus barely managed to get out.

Megatron hummed. “Then would you mind repeating what I was just talking about? Paraphrase if you must…”

Optimus fidgeted slightly, trying to remember, but Megatron’s digit was still toying with his finial and Primus it tickled so bad and he could not recall any bit of what Megatron had said. Optimus let out a shaky breath and swatted Megatron’s servo away.

“I cahan’t– I can’t seem to recall,” Optimus said softly.

Megatron sighed, loudly and almost dramatically. “You are a truly terrible listener, Prime.”

Optimus huffed. He knew that Megatron was teasing him, but there was some part of him that was enjoying it. It felt like old times, and it made Optimus feel a strange sense of comfort. “Well, I wouldn’t be as distracted if someone wasn’t tickling me every five seconds.”

Megatron did not bother hiding his grin at this point. “Oh? Are you suggesting that I’m the cause of your distraction? Prime, I thought we were rebuilding our trust.”

Optimus rolled his optics and shook his helm. He was about to say something back, but Megatron was back to tickling his finial, cutting Optimus off as he fought back a laugh.

“Are you laughing at me now?”

“You’re tickling mehehe!”

“Am I now? I didn’t notice…” Megatron drawled, teasing Optimus’ finial with two digits as Optimus shook while trying to contain his giggles. “Hmm… I can’t help but wonder if you’re still as ticklish elsewhere…”

“Mehegatron, don’t you dahare–!”

Optimus hardly had a chance to do anything before Megatron was on him, prodding and scribbling his digits along Optimus’ chassis as he fell back in the seat, laughter almost instantly bubbling from his intake.

“Mehehehgatron! Nohoho, not thehehere!!” Optimus wailed, trying to push Megatron’s servos away from his hips.

Megatron laughed with Optimus, amused that his old friend was still just as ticklish as he remembered. “You really haven’t changed at all, have you?”

“Why wohohould I chahahange– WAhahaaa! Mehegatron, plehehease! Not thehehere!!”

Optimus was sent into a fit of frantic laughter when Megatron’s servos managed to creep up under his arms, finding the seams that he recalled drove Optimus up the wall. Megatron’s memory served him well, and he was met with the exact reaction he had anticipated as Optimus clamped his arms down as much as he could and kicked his pedes behind him.

“This is still your best spot, isn’t it? Although, I never knew about your finials back then… Maybe we should compare?”

“Mahahaybe we– Maybe we shohohouldn’t!!” Optimus wheezed, shaking his helm in an attempt to keep Megatron’s servos away. It worked slightly, but Megatron did still get a few swipes at his finials, making Optimus squeak whenever his digits made contact with them.

After a few more attempts, Megatron eventually retreated his servos back to the seams under Optimus’ arms, making him throw his helm back and laugh. He squeezed his optics shut, squirming uselessly beneath Megatron as he laughed.

Optimus gasped sharply when Megatron pulled one of his arms above him. Optimus shook his helm, his optics wide as he kept giggling.

Megatron grinned deviously. “Finials or seams?”

Optimus blinked. “Whahahat?”

“Don’t make me repeat myself again, Prime.” Optimus tried to tug his arm away and Megatron hummed. “Finials it is, then.”

“No!”

“No? Then you’d prefer the seams?”

Optimus stammered, his words coming out like static as he tried to form a coherent sentence. “I– No, I mean– Well–”

“If you don’t choose, I’ll choose for you…”

“I can’t choose!” Optimus nearly whined, shaking his helm.

Megatron raised his optical ridge and smirked. “You can’t, hmm? Well, then…” He leaned forward until he was just a few inches from Optimus’ face, making him giggle nervously. Megatron had a sly smirk on his face as he contemplated. “I think I’ll choose… both.”

“What–!”

Optimus could barely register what Megatron was planning before it was too late. He quickly dissolved into more bubbly laughter when Megatron skittered his digits along the seams under his arms, then gasped when he felt Megatron toy with his finials. He went back and forth, never letting Optimus fully get used to either sensation, and it made him a frantic, laughing mess by the time Megatron finally decided to let up.

“Y-you… That was– Ugh…” Optimus could not even formulate a proper insult or claim or anything. All that he ended up with was a few residual giggles and a tingly sensation that would not leave his seams or his finials as Megatron sat up.

“Fun? For me, it was indeed fun… I missed you, Orion.”

Optimus’ finials perked up at his old name. He had not been called that in so long, not ever since…

“I missed you too, Dee.”

Megatron smiled softly and held up his servo for Optimus, who sat up and hit it with his own. As soon as Optimus had seemingly recovered, Megatron continued his plan, and this time, Optimus found his mind could not wander to any thought other than the bot right in front of him.

[vind3miat0r]

project meridian finale thoughts

yap session warning‼️ also spoilers‼️

kinda sad that it was all a dream bc the concept of it was actually really interesting in and of itself. i also liked PM bc it was a sci-fi storyline amidst all of the modern fantasy and contemporary stories on the channel. not to mention, we know more about the dream versions of every character than we do the waking world versions (also i liked having an android listener :3)

but at the same time, this is (technically speaking) the first new listener we've gotten in over a year. and theyre empowered AND latent!! the first latent character on the channel in four years!!

i have no doubt that Erik is going to make a followup to Project Meridian where we follow waking world!Asset's journey of processing their trauma and learning their powers. Erik isnt the kind of guy who would just drop an hour long audio full of perspective-altering lore and be like "yeah youre never getting these characters again lol." im certain that we're gonna learn more about James, Anton, and Marc too in said followup, and maybe even some new characters will be introduced

also the fucking PARALLEL of Marc being the one who was initially in control of the dream and being the one who was pulling the strings and Marcus having been the one to input the obsession code that gave him power AUGH ERIK WHEN I FUCKING CATCH YOUUUUU

wrapping this up with some confirmed things:

— Asset/Dreamer is a Latent Dreamwalker

— Marc (Marcus) is also a Dreamwalker

— James confirmed to be humanborn (imp!James was humanborn)

— Anton confirmed to be a Wolf Shifter (fool!Anton was a wolf shifter)

— the entirety of PM takes place in Asset's mind, while Asset's body was in McKinley (a cornerstone city im assuming is in a state near California)

— implied that Quinn attacked Asset and their sister shortly before he was caught and locked up

— that means this takes place around May/June of 2023

— this subsequently means that Asset is NOT Darlin's unempowered friend (and if i see anyone say they are i will lose my mind) (remember ANTON was the one who saved Asset and their sister, NOT Darlin)

— something about the state of the Meridian being on the news and Asset having read theories about it (state of Meridian made public? possible connection to the Hush + Doc, Carpe Deus, and/or Sovereign State storylines?)

i do have a LOT more to say about this, but my brain isnt braining and i want to listen to the audio again to make sure i didnt miss anything, so this is all ill say for now :)

[backupbitch]

Hi, I want to talk about the current issue that’s happening with GBPatch.

A lot of people don’t want to get Rose fired. They want an apology for their behaviour towards blossoming attorney.

Here’s the entire post, with Blossoming’s two add ons, that were not included in the post Rose shared:

In Rose’s ‘apology’ they said that they reacted in kind. Blossoming’s harshest comment was the following:

—

Rose responds with the following:

I’m sure that they’re lucky to have their take be called braindead and ignorant. OP could’ve also called their take bad, instead of saying it’s braindead.

-

That aside, it is important that black trans people can openly criticise transphobia and racism. Those conversations are very important to be had. Like Terry’s lack of black features.

But, as Rose said, that’s another conversation to be held.

-

Then, this is said:

I am sure that Blossoming Attorney does care. In fact, they are also a black trans person.

This is said in the parts of the post that were left out of the one Rose linked in their ‘apology’.

-

The post that was shared, ends with this:

Yes, they could’ve gone to your dms, but considering that the initial post was public, it was safe to assume that Blossoming had the right to respond publicly. It’s also mentioned that they said Rose is transphobic, which they didnt. They said the take sounded transphobic, which is why they thought it was a bad take.

Edit: in the add on they said it sounded transphobic. In the call out post they did say that they think Rose is transphobic.

-

Rose ends with saying that Blossoming is trying to be racist and transphobic on their post. The conversation was about Terry and him being trans. Not race. That was brought up. Almost like a “you can’t criticize this bc I’m black and trans’ point. I’m sure that Rose did not have those intentions.

Blossoming’s point was the following:

They were talking about the ‘sexualised design’.

-

After that they make another add on to say the following;

they apologised. Is it so bad that they would want an apology from Rose too?

Edit:

Also, I believe Rose when they say that there’s a hate campaign. I can’t tell them what they’re experiencing. Idc about the shared screenshots, they should’ve been kept private. There are people that are racially motivated and do want Rose to lose their position. That’s what we should talk about. It’s horrible that people in this community are after someone. This is why we need sensitivity readers and why we need to call that behaviour out. I made my original post to share that Blossoming Attorney isn’t part of it.

@gb-patch

[glubandeepspace]

my current understanding of raf lore in regards to mc's part in it is basically ↓

they met as kids once when he ran away from home to explore (Nightly Stroll), but then he went back home n mc got taken in by those culty people

(Forgotten Sea) they reunite as fellows in more fucked roles. raf initially chose her as follower for convenience (probably didnt instant recognize) but then as they realize more abt each other they become friends in an arranged marriage adjacent situation that ends up actually wrong to the sea somehow. but i mean the tome is weird abt what it says abt how he should treat a follower and he himself also claims "tis a human fantasy" for lemurians to fall for who theyre bound to. yet he fell n all.

more theory territory bc again the end of forgotten sea is vague—during the ceremony, his awakening doesnt work bc the sea could tell he isnt more devoted to it than he is to mc, and the sea demands him to choose between her n lemuria (not that the sea would destroy its own people, but the flame lemuria needs was already dying, and rafayel's proper awakening couldve saved it but now it needs a sacrifice). it's such a last minute twist / confirmation of fears and mc makes him sacrifice her (or he kills her bc the sea compells him). this brings forth the new flame.

but rafayel dies a lot later as Forgotten Sea says, because... the incident with sea witch mc (Fragrant Dream) and the implied mc of Siren's Song (idk what order these would be). but the thing abt sea witch is—she may have been cursed as punishment by the sea, and raf didnt agree with this, turned her back human at the cost of a lot of effort n his life. he basically died for mc 1-2 times total for all the above, no matter what order. but he probably knew he'd die for sea witch (i doubt the sea offed him). so hes not above dying for mc except

"a rumor" "the god of the sea had lied to the deep sea for his beloved" (Forgotten Sea) im believing this rumor and that the lie was sometjing like.. that he'd take back the heart he gifted mc (which already irked the sea, hence flickering flame during Forgotten Sea kiss that happened right after the gifting) (it sounded like a metaphorical gifting at first but ig not) (maybe halfway. somethingsometjing magic). bc he doesnt want to kill her, especially after he already tried killing her once, and he doesnt trust everything the sea expects. he resents the prophecies or whatever. he thinks he can save lemuria in his own way

lemuria that btw fell to ruin specifically bc of his absence from it when Siren Song mc took his tail & scales (thats why he sung the elegy as he perished alongside her)

plus, you know, other humans

he gets reborn (who knows how again) into what we can call linkon raf, whos focused still on avenging his people and likely finding a way to revive lemuria while protecting its remains—a way that doesnt depend on what's now mc's heart, but she is a backup choice he may consider (though the sea wishes she were the first choice) (but like very to the very back of his brain, the last choice even, esp since he actively protects her actually) (where the fence between his thoughts and the sea's are)

probably something to do with the aether core ironically part of her heart will be what helps lemuria

somewhere in all this was also an mc who lived on an island alone ? (forgot where from!) and also an mc who might fr get her heart carved by some teen lemurian that's either a new raf somehow or someone connected (mentioned in an mc dream i also forgot which myth from, but probably forgotten sea? dream abt abysswalker-like era though) and i need to reread abysswalker before going on even longer for its mentions of tome stuff etc

[pinkcannibal]

Would you pretty please Misty for the yandere alphabet 🥺

https://www.tumblr.com/dear-yandere/188860909008/yandere-alphabet

u asked so nicely omg....<3 OF COURSE!!!

-

misty quigley + yandere alphabet (x reader)

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

misty 100% shows intense affection (only once shes completely sure its reciprocated, but even then this would not stop her) if you were neighbours shed always show up with baked goods, gifts, or something you mentioned to her in passing that you liked. you are completely knee weak for it everytime, bc its incredibly sweet and thoughtful (even when it borderlines on confusing and concerning, some things she knows abt you are...hyper specific, and you dont remember telling them to her)

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

oh death, murder, kidnapping, poisoning. you NAME it. misty is ride or die, when you have her affection, you HAVE it. she is willingly to go to the ends of the earth for you, that includes getting very messy. even if it didnt warrant going that far. covered in blood for you? sure! lying to police? no problem!

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

misty would be very understanding and tender to you when she does, she would pout when you're initially scared and very confused at being in her basement on that bed. she would think; 'why are you upset?? she did it in the most gentle, caring way, there's no reason for you to cry, you don't even have one mark on you, besides the handcuffs'. and if you keep up the fear and uncertainty even after explaining the situation, then misty would mock. she would hands on knees duck down to you saying "aw, if you're so scared, you shouldnt have made it so easy, sweetie!"

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

i dont see misty doing anything against their will besides that, she loves you, it would hurt her seeing you in distress for too long. shed do her best to calm you down, and be very doting to your every need when you're in her care.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

lots! misty would act similarly to how she acted with jessica with you, portraying intense bouts of sadness and hurt to garner your sympathy. she knows this works, bc you DO eventually end up softening to her and making sure shes okay if she cries/confides in you after a hard day. you always feel awful when those sad brown eyes blink back to you </3

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

very upset! but misty would not fully understand why you're acting the way you are. she cooks you 3 meals a day! and always makes sure you're safe! so at first, shed be head tilted blinking blankly behind her glasses when you call her names, or dodge her palm at your cheek. she would be VERY dejected, and guilt trip you at how youre treating her (which inevitably ends up working)

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

not much, this is a forever thing for misty. you trying to escape would be seen as an act of betrayal </3. but! she does find it amusing and very cute when you try and guilt trip her back to let you go, because it will never work

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

when you found out she was tracking your phone, you were understandably upset and explained to misty this is not normal. misty does not get your outrage, and would put her foot down in believing its for your own safety, and confused why you arent agreeing. (this ended in a 2 day fight where misty begrudgingly decided to take it out, instead agreeing to keep your location on)

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

misty wants a co-dependent, homoerotic best friend ship that slowly develops into you being irrevocably in love with her. and honestly, who doesnt?

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

VERY much so. mistys jealously is something both endearing and slightly terrifying to you (its nice to know you are so loved that misty would literally kill someone if they so much as flirted with you) but she has to control it if she gets jealous while you're out in public, when you're home tho, this would escalate into showing you who you truly belong to

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

at first, misty would be very hesitant in RECEIVING affection. she is very okay in giving it, loves to in fact, but being given it is something else entirely. shes used to rejection and scorn all her life, so having you, who would love to just be spooned by her and kiss her entire face all day, is something she has to get used to. but when she does, misty is very okay and content in you cuddling up to her while watching movies, or kissing her randomly while you're in public. holding hands too <3

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

misty knows what she wants, and knows exactly how to act for someone to like her (see s1 date scene, and how she moulds to the personalities of others to gain their attention) so courting you would be very the same! shed find out what you're into, and talk abt it as much as she can with you. if you like corny jokes, she will tell you puns whenever she can! if you like someone whos more quiet and reserved, she will tone down her exuberance until you like her back. it sounds sad, but this is how misty has navigated her relationships. once you're together for a while, she'll drop the act once she knows you love her

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

yep! like i said above, in my head misty masks ALOT. and will chameleon her way through her relationships. once shes comfy around you though, she will be her normal insane goofy, dorky, self <3

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

definitely a heavy amount of guilt tripping, manipulation, and dumbification. youd be very content in taking it too, after all, she said you deserve it for being so rude and misunderstanding her intentions

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

not many! shes not a fan of depriving you of what you need, she will still coddle you and lather you in affection, esp after a punishment

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

surprisingly very! but it can waver on the thin side in certain circumstances. if you'd flirt with other people to get her attention? zero patience. none. immediately she's grabbing you by the bicep and hauling you away

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

misty would be irreversibly crushed and changed if any of the above happened. she loves DEEPLY and without boundaries, completely emerses herself in the person she loves. so no, i dont think so </3

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

yes! misty isn't some unfeeling psychopath, she has intense and overwhelming emotions. if she abducted you, it would have been out of need to have you to herself, or wanting something from you. she would feel bad at your constant pleading, but in her head this is whats best for you, so the guilt would turn to knowing she's doing what you need

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

lets just say crash landing in the canadian wilderness, eating her teammates, chopping off her coaches leg, doing cannibalistic hunts/rituals, starving for 18 months, and generally going through trauma worth a life time, made her....transition into a 'normal' socially adapted women a little hard. although, its in my heart of hearts misty would have turned out like this regardless <3 ksdksdk

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

terrible! awful! misty does not like it when she sees you hurt. shed want to know WHO or what made you like this, and protect you. if you didnt want to talk to her, shed beg for you to tell her whats wrong. "are you okay? what can i do? ill do anything you need, just ask" and her concern would be too loving to ignore. her love language is definitely acts of service and gift giving

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

i dont think she'd control who you see/talk to/be friends with. misty is very okay with you having a life outside of her, but she WOULD want to meet these people and get to know them bc she wants to suss them out and maybe stalk them to know they arent going to hurt you

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

caligula. 100%. OR threaten to hurt themselves. misty would first shrug and say "fine, do it" but panic instantly at you being serious and intentionally harming yourself

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

hm, i think so, but only in a lapse of control/passion during sex. maybe misty holding you too tight to her, nails digging, or biting your neck too hard and drawing blood.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

any length! as far as misty can possibly go, she will. shes nothing if not determined and head strong

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

in my head, a couple of months of intense day dreaming and stalking is enough. misty needs you and wants you, and she can get very impatient

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

yes! as in, break them in? definitely yes. misty is persuasive, cunning, and manipulative, you wouldn't last long in denying her affections. esp when she is so sweet and caring and devoted to you. it wouldnt take long for you to be completely enraptured around her finger, voice, touch and words <3

[tojiscrack]

WIFEYYYYY IMY

i legit have been so proud of myself lately bc i havent been talking to shitbag almost at all. i even waited in my car until he walked up to school bc we both pulled into the lot at the same time and i didnt want him to talk to me!

'i HAD to implement dadjo in the series bc as much as his relationship with the characters in canon was more like a fun older brother looking out for his students, he’s so father coded, specifically during the exchange event in s1 of jjk'

I AM SO HAPPY FOR THIS!!! I LOVE DADJO HCS

'HELP HE’S JUST A GUY WITH A CRUSH 😭'

so was shit bag 💔

but i have decided that if y/n and kamo get tgth and then y/n realizes her true feelings for megumi and breaks up w kamo, i will forgive you. barely.

'girl any more of the y/n criticism from you and i’m gonna start to think you hate our poor mc 🫵🏽😟🫷🏽'

listen. i dont haaaaaate her... yet.

she just gives me SO MUCH SECOND HAND EMBARASSMENT. LIKE HOLY MOLY THIS IS BAD.

'now with that threat, i humbly remind you of the ‘angst’ tag 🌝 no comment on anything after that'

"MERCUPINE IS CANON!" i thrash against my strait jacket as they throw me into the room with the padded walls.

'but unfortunately, at some point from here and up until june, there are gonna be super slow updates :( i’ll address that another time tho! <3'

AWWW DAMNNNN. i hope everything is okay pookie bear 🙏

yk i havent been this in love with a fic since like 2022 when i found a 500k word bakugo fanfic that was literally written like a novel. AND URS IS EXACTLY LIKE IT BRO.

like writer to writer- your exposition is INSANE. being able to develop their friendship when they're only like 5 or so is so cool to me because the initial friendship development is something i struggle with lowk....

BUT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH PLS DONT DIE

'i am (unfortunately) a very picky eater. and i hate peanut butter ☹️'

STAY WITH ME. STAY WITH ME.

this is why we use unsweetened peanut butter protein powder. because, you can make it whatever texture u want and the peanut taste is toned down. and it adds protein to ur meal so u can be buff. (i am a gym bro)

'ik you mention that you guys have mutual friends and are in several gc’s tgth, so maybe blocking him is just not possible here, but giving him clipped responses when he texted and declining face-times is very much possible, i believe'

YEAHHH THATS WHAT IVE BEEN DOING THE PAST FEW DAYS LOL

he doesn't ft me tho which is great. he just sends me tiktoks that i respond to 23 hrs later so he doesn't bitch ab me losing our streak LMAO

'but make sure they’re very simple responses, nothing he can use as an opportunity to build on.'

yeah thats my move rn

'hmmm, this tells me a lot about him already 💀 i’m sorry kay, i do NOT like this imposter who-entered-earth-without-a-visa 😐'

YEAH BRO IDK HOW I EVEN LIKED HIM

like the past few days, the rose tined glasses have been lifted. esp bc one of our mutual friends gave him a kanye west american flag and he keeps posing with it everywhere.

liking kanye is embarassing enough idk why he's doing this too.

it reminds me of the time he trapped me in his car and made me listen to his explanation on why kanye west wasn't a bad guy.

'HAHAHA 😭 i’m dead serious. i don’t like that guy. i even feel like ‘shitbag’ as a name for him is a compliment, if anything.'

lowk ur so right

'do not compare our respectful-nonchalant-dreadhead-kamo to that bin-juice-of-a-human-being-SHITBAG. EVER 🤢'

I MEANT THE WAY WE REACT TO THEM LMAOAOAOAOAO

'did i forget to mention that i DETEST shitbag with my whole entire being?'

no i dont think u mentioned it 🤔🤔🤔

'CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT 🥳 WE LOVE TO SEE IT'

YES MAAAAM

'ok good, you’re not longer texting that unique-breed-of-human-kind, got my first point out of the way real quick. don’t ever text him unless he texts you'

YEPPP

'secondly, niceguy’s available. probably the only thing i agree with shitbag with. you should get with niceguy :)'

okay yeah but like even if im not that close friends w his ex-gf, we're still friends...

and our grade literally has 80 ppl in it so i would rather not do her dirty like that bc she WILL know

and we used to be rlly good friends in middle school

i snap him tho bc we are in fact still friends even if he dated my friend- i mean we have literally known each other for 10 yrs LMAO

'marry fictional men and die in love with them'

i think this is a very good plan. i am currently writing iwaizumi fanfiction bc iwaizumi haijime (27) athletic trainer is all i need rn!

lowk this fic was inspired by liar liar in the sense that i took inspo from how u have it start when they're younger / preshow. i had it start in their first yr so i can develop their friendship before they go straight into love. (i'm ur biggest fan btw)

'i’m not aware of it. even when i looked it up, i was a little confused haha.'

oh my god it's literally like the dumbest cringest game ever but i love it so much. it's an otome dating sim game and it's so nostalgic to me bc i used to play it when i was like 13.

but it's fucked up my sleep schedule bc part of the game is that u have to play the chatrooms before the next one unlocks or the previous one will lock and u have to pay (in game cash) to play it afterwards.

so i have a schedule.

i stay up til 1:52 to play the 1:48 chatroom and then i sleep, wake up at 6:50 for school, play the 3ish AM chatroom before the 8AM chatroom unlocks, and then go to school, play the 8AM chatroom, and continue playing the chatrooms throughout the day.

now let me show u the cringey ass messages these characters send and the cringey ass messages im forced to send (i have to pick through a few options).

LIKE THIS IS SO CRINGE.... BUT I AM FREE.

'but i am super glad you are starting to find enjoyable things to look back on that take you away from the negative doom-cloud that is shitbag! 😙 idek you irl but that genuinely makes me so happy for youuuu <3'

AWWWWWW ILYSM

'i’m living vicariously through you, honestly 😭'

AWWWWW

'THEY CAN STILL BE LONG, I LOVE HEARING ABOUT UR DAY AND STUFF AND GETTING TO KNOW YOU, but i’m glad shitbag will no longer be the centre of our conversations'

okay so lets kiss pls and ty

also have u heard the epic the musical concept album at all? like that one tiktok audio that's like 'i would fall in love with you over and over again'.

bc it's taken over my fyp w emo ass edits and my friends are SICK OF ME

too many satosugu edits w this audio and i'm gonna kms pls and ty

OKAYYYY THAT IS IT FOR TODAY'S UPDATE! I HOPE UR DAY IS AMAZING POOKIE BEAR <3

HELLO AGAIN!! <333

‘i legit have been so proud of myself lately bc i havent been talking to shitbag almost at all’ — I’M SO PROUD OF YOU TOO WHATTT 😭😫 i’m now at ease, we haven’t lost another one of our gorgeous girlies to the m*le species, thank the lord 😤

‘(…) and i didnt want him to talk to me!’ — YEEEESSSS, we’ve made it to that point! 🥳 today is a good day 😌

‘I LOVE DADJO HCS’ — me too 😋 it’s a shame gege didn’t implement this more in canon-jjk, but it is what it is, ig

‘so was shit bag 💔’ — NUH UH 🤨 shitbag is not just a guy with a crush he’s not even a guy at all, that’s an undiscovered breed right there , he’s someone who treats both the girls he likes AND dislikes like dog shit, and i’m not having it 😐

‘if y/n and kamo get tgth and then y/n realises her true feelings for megumi and breaks up w kamo, i will forgive you. barely’ — 🫣 we shall see… 👀

‘listen. i dont haaaaaate her... yet’ — free my poor mc from the shackles of ur scepticism 🤛🏽😔🤜🏽

‘she just gives me SO MUCH SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT’ — you think SHE gives you second hand embarrassment? 😧 girlypops, try reading my levi fic (don’t, actually, i’m just using this as an example haha) , y/n over there is unhinged to the point where second hand embarrassment is literally her middle name 😭

‘"MERCUPINE IS CANON!" i thrash against my strait jacket as they throw me into the room with the padded walls’ — LMAOOOO 😭 DKMMM 💀 technically they are canon (the story is centred around them), and even as the author who could potentially go for the bittersweet type of ending where they don’t end up together, i can easily say (with confidence) that they have a shit ton more chemistry than mermaid and kamotionless 😊

but we'll see how everything goes!

‘AWWW DAMNNNN. i hope everything is okay pookie bear 🙏' — well... i revealed why i had concerns about my (already ass) updating schedule now 👀 ik this ask was sent in a few days before my announcement last night, so ofc you couldn't have known when you sent this in. but now you do! and i appreciate ur support SOOO much. i swear, you have no idea <3

i also responded quite late to this ask 'cause it's quite long, and i like to address every single thing in longer asks so im not purposely missing anything out and then come across as dry haha 🥴

'yk i havent been this in love with a fic since like 2022 when i found a 500k word bakugo fanfic that was literally written like a novel. AND URS IS EXACTLY LIKE IT BRO' — 🥹🥹🥹

ik a lot of ppl complain about long fics, but i can’t help but love them (especially when i’m in the comfort of my own room just reading as i go with all the lights off, no school the next day, no alarm set, etc).

and this… coming my story to a novel? 😩

i’m so unbelievably flattered rn, like i want to grab you through the screen and i can’t ☹️

‘like writer to writer- your exposition is INSANE. being able to develop their friendship when they're only like 5 or so is so cool to me because the initial friendship development is something i struggle with lowk...’ — UGH, STOP IT, MY HEART CAN’T TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS 😫🩵🩵🩵

MY BPM IS HIGHER THAN NORMAL RN AND I HAVEN’T EVEN EXERCISED TODAY ❤️‍🔥

wishing i was shakespeare rn so i can give you the most poetic response that isn’t just ‘i’m so flattered’, ‘stoppp’, ‘ilysm moreee’, etc. the problem is that i’m always at a loss for words ‘cause of the range of compliments you offer 😭💕

‘STAY WITH ME. STAY WITH ME’ — 🙁 … ☹️ … 🌬️🏃🏽‍♀️‍➡️…🚪

‘this is why we use unsweetened peanut butter protein powder. because, you can make it whatever texture u want and the peanut taste is toned down. and it adds protein to ur meal so u can be buff’ — maybe i’ll try it 😳 i’ve yet to find a protein powder brand that doesn’t make me shit myself + give me acne, but we’ll see! i don’t have really high hopes tho (i’m a picky eater 😔)

‘like the past few days, the rose tined glasses have been lifted’ — the more i read this ask, the more i smile 😋

‘it reminds me of the time he trapped me in his car and made me listen to his explanation on why kanye west wasn't a bad guy’ — UMM?? THAT’S ASSAULT?? HELLO? 😭

ARE YOU OK? NEED A LAWYER? I’M STUDYING LAW, I GOT YOU 😟

‘I MEANT THE WAY WE REACT TO THEM LMAOAOAOAOAO’ — THANK GOD 😔

‘and our grade literally has 80 ppl in it so i would rather not do her dirty like that bc she WILL know. and we used to be rily good friends in middle school’ — mmm, yeah, so maybe not niceguy either. back to the fictional men plan then! (until someone new comes along and meets our high standards for you!) 😋

‘i think this is a very good plan. i am currently writing iwaizumi fanfiction bc iwaizumi haijime (27) athletic trainer is all i need rn!’ — WAIT WAIT WAIT, iwaizumi hajime from haikyuu? LMAO WAIT, I THOUGHT YOU’D BE INTO KAGEYAMA OR SMTH? 😭

HAHAHA I’M DYING, HOW DID I NOT SEE THIS COMING?

‘lowk this fic was inspired by liar liar in the sense that i took inspo from how u have it start when they're younger / preshow. i had it start in their first yr so i can develop their friendship before they go straight into love’ — 😳

a lot of my ao3 readers would tell me that i inspired them to write fics and stuff, but they never tell me what it is about my story that inspired them, yk? so as nice as it is to hear such a thing from them, i never know what exactly about LL got them writing 🙁

BUT THIS? 🥹

i’m so flattered honoured, genuinely. maybe one day, when i can stop scaring myself about reading other people’s works (it’s a genuine irrational fear of mine), i can pick up one of yours and give you the queen!treatment you give me every other day 🥹🩵

‘im ur biggest fan btw)’ — excuse me, DON’T call urself that. we’re friends 👊🏽🤨 (i’m spudding you btw)

‘oh my god it's literally like the dumbest cringest game ever but i love it so much’ — me talking about episode 2015 😀

‘but it's fucked up my sleep schedule bc part of the game is that u have to play the chatrooms before the next one unlocks or the previous one will lock and u have to pay (in game cash) to play it afterwards. so i have a schedule. i stay up til 1:52 to play the 1:48 chatroom and then i sleep, wake up at 6:50 for school, play the 3ish AM chatroom before the 8AM chatroom unlocks, and then go to school, play the 8AM chatroom, and continue playing the chatrooms throughout the day’ — HAHAHAHHAHAA 😭 IDK WHY THIS MADE ME LAUGH LMAOOO, you literally ended up making a whole plan around ur sleeping schedule for this game? 😭 DAMN, how good must it be???

I’M CRYINGGGG THE MESSAGES 😭😭😭

WHEN YOU SAID IT WAS CRINGE, I DIDN’T THINK IT WAS ‘i’d like to tell kay how i feel and make her mine but—’ , ‘you can have me right now!’ TYPE OF CRINGE? HELLO? 😭

I’M CRYINGGGG STOPPP

AND THIS YOOSUNG GUY COMING IN TO PUT IN HIS 2 CENTS IS KILLING MEEEEE 😭

‘omg’ after the zen guy literally declared that you’re his omega LMFAOOO

yoosung’s just a chill guy 😀

‘don’t let the beast inside of me awaken’ — HUH???? 😭

KAY I’M ACTIALLY DYING MY STOMACH HURTS SO BAD WTH IS THIS 😭😭😭

THAT’S SUCH A MALAKAI THING OF HIM TO SAY, wait—

👀

your type is literally malakai?

LMFAOOOO KAY X MALAKAI NO WAYYYY 😭😭😭

‘no one dare to touch her 🐺’ — BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAGAHAYAGAHSHSHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

PLS HOW DOES Y/N GIVE YOU SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT WHEN ZEN IS RIGHT THERE

kay pls tell me you’re joking. there’s absolutely no way 😭 and you told me all this in CONFIDENCE 💀

‘LIKE THIS IS SO CRINGE.... BUT I AM FREE’ — KAY 😭

self aware queen? 🥴💜

‘also have u heard the epic the musical concept album at all? like that one tiktok audio that's like 'i would fall in love with you over and over again.’ bc it's taken over my typ w emo ass edits and my friends are SICK OF ME’ — HAHAHAHA, no i actually haven’t 😭 so i looked it up just now and i’ve genuinely never heard of it in my life, ever’

‘too many satosugu edits w this audio and i'm gonna kms pls and ty’ — wait that makes sense as to why i haven’t seen it 💀

i don’t ship satosugu 👀 i can hear the shippers coming to bury me alive so my tiktok fyp is obviously gonna be catered towards videos i’ll end up liking and saving, and since i don’t actively search for satosugu edits and like and save them, my fyp is most definitely completely different to yours

hence why i’ve never heard of that audio 😭

but i should be glad! even tho i don’t ship them, i see tragedy in their friendship every time i see scenes of them together, so maybe it’s a good thing i hadn’t seen or heard of the audio before this ☹️

stop now i’m imagining you and zen with this audio HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH 😭

he’d fall in love with you over and over again… and you’d have to make sure the beast inside him doesn’t awaken over and over again 💀

ok i’ll stop 😭

[baby-xemnas]

Even tho Bepo does make a few comments about female bears, i wonder if it is more of an automatic response than anything, maybe something like compulsive speciism like you mentioned. Like it’s not something at the forefront of Bepo’s mind but that’s what is expected, that a mink will be with another mink, so that informs what he says out loud. I can’t help but think about how Bepo left Zou at such a very young age too, bc as far as we know, Bepo has been around humans far longer than minks at this point, so i wonder how that would’ve impacted or shaped his development and outlook on such things? In other areas too, I wonder if Bepo felt odd coming back to Zou, seeing the differences between himself and other minks who grew up and stayed in Zou or stayed in closer contact to minks even if they weren’t living in Zou. All this in relation to LawBepo and Bepo’s immediate intense strong attachment to Law, it’s interesting to think about!

yeeee.....

its a single crumb of Bepo's presense on Zou during that arc but i did appreciate when it was noted that "Even though he is from here, he is still an outsider" like thats GREAT thats a bit of worldbuilding i really appreciate making characters behavior more believable - ye no shit...not only did this guy not live with them, disappearing as a kid - he brought humans with him too - he is a complete stranger to the island. imagine moving to a very different country in elementary school - all your formative years would be shaped in accordance to the new place. I love that they treated him like the stranger he is

and GOOD POINT ABOUT HIS INSTANT ATTACHMENT TO LAW like yes of course its logical that he would be appreciative of a person who saved him - but Bepo had ZERO apprehension towards Law and following Law to a strangers house.. ofc u can say that he is too naive and easily trusting but it mustve been so crazy to him to be like wow! not only humans exist (when they met bepo have gotten over that initial surprise and probably hid from adults til pensha found him and beat his ass) but there are nice ones too! yay!!!!!!!!! :D!!

its absolutely compulsive species attraction like "i'm supposed to find a bear mink" and he just thought that way the whole time growing up and didnt even consider humans - and that was fine because he was very busy loving and supporting law - thought didnt cross his mind...if he felt horny he just thought "oh well i cant do nothing about this! idk where bear women are at!"

i love thinking about how weird it felt to come back home (and like i talked abt before i love that bepo didnt go home because he wanted to fullfill his initial wishes to 1) find zunesha on his own - reason he learned navigation 2) find out where his brother go - no he went to zou because (as he himself probably suggested as it was a safest place) law ordered them to lay low somewhere....i love that so much, that law going off on his personal vendetta mission caused bepo to fullfil his personal dream - the one that he put away for so long BECAUSE what law became way more important.

There is a sense of shame and wrong priorities there - imagine that instead of being a sort of triumphant/celebratory visit home where you can boast look at me i'm a pirate like my big brother! No instead he comes home asking for help, for a place to hide, not only for himself but strangers to the island - and he himself is as much a stranger as the humans. oof.

Its hard to imagine he felt that comfortable around minks at first, it was a wishful thinking like here i am among my people - but they look at him (and rightfully so) like an alien - and bepo is too worried about law to care....he is not there to integrate back into society....these people are not his people anymore, his crew and law are his family now

its super interesting and i really am sour forever that we didnt get more about this aside from "he is still a stranger even if he is from here" line about bepo and others being quarantined to a single area - and that one moment where bepo says "even if im a stranger this is my island too" when they are about to help defend zou against beast pirates along with locals

[gold-rhine]

Before the archon war trial arc begins we should get an event where all the archons and Neuvillette are present and you get to watch everyone's wherabouts like in that akademia tournament event, and Neuvillette keeps barely missing all the archons, like a Scooby doo bit.

Venti and Zhongli are actively avoiding him and coming up with dumb explainations for why they're chilling on the roof or fully left the premises(old man yaoi bait too)

Ei doesn't care she's ready to duel a dragon again but she's with Miko who DOES care and is leading Ei all over the place avoiding Neuvi

Nahida wants to have a civil conversation with him but she keeps missing him by chance because now Neuvi's running all over the place...

btw what do you mean, "ready to duel a dragon again"? i dont think raiden ever dueled a sovereign, the initial war between dragons and celesta happened waaaaay too long ago, and its during that war that sovereigns lost power. archon war when makoto came to power happened like, thousands of years later. so even if raiden murdered an electro dragon, which we didnt see mentions of tho, unless it happened at the very invasion of teyvat, the dragon would not be at full power. but thats like. zhongli territory old at least, i dont think raiden is that old. orobashi was most likely not a vishap, just a snake god, bc in enka they did experiments and torture on vishaps under his command and like. if he was a dragon, he'd know all vishaps are intelligent without tests.

the timeline is like. dragons rule and control the elements via authorities ->celestia invades ->war with dragons, celesta wins, most sovereigns are dead, all their authorities taken, BUT NO ARCHONS. celestia is powerful enough to keep elements under control by itself ->thousands of years pass, this is time of unified civilization and celestia being in close touch with ppl via heavenly envoys and sometimes nail-bombing->2 new descenders show up (we dont know if at the same time or not but im not sure), celestia has war with at least one of them, mb both, this drains their resources ->one of the descenders dead, the other makes truce with celestia, bc elements are getting from under control of celestia, i.e. risk of dragons regaining authorities ->celesta and descender create gnosis and give it to archons, this is done specifically to keep elements under control

sorry for digressing, yeah itd be funny. i think he should actually meet nahida, bc he already sounds sympathetic to her, she has rock solid alibi (being kept in a baby jail from birth for 500 years) and then one of the first things she did when she was out is to help healing dendro dragon. i just think nahida is under so much responsibility of always being the wise one and everyone else, and shes still a baby in a lot of ways, she needs someone older to look after her. honorary melusine

btw i dont think we'll ever get actual trials, i think we'll be confronting celestia before it can come to that

[dandyshucks]

realizing i wanted to ask - how did u first fall in love w/ guzma (irl) ? :o (@dmclr)

ougghh (/happy) Clara you always ask such good questions omg 🫶

umm... okay so. i should give a general "abuse CW" label i guess fjfkdl but I'll keep it vague and to a minimum of mention! also putting it below the cut because I RAMBLED SO MUCH, SORRY IN ADVANCE

tumblr kind of went crazy for the guy when the anime finally introduced him in 2019 (it took SO long to get to him, over 100 episodes in the su/mo arc 😭) and at first i didnt think much of him rly, but then somehow eventually (a few months later) i found out through osmosis that he's got trauma going on and my ears kind of perked up a bit LOL

(underwater just to set it apart from the rest of the post so it doesnt blend in and get confusing fndkdl) screenshot of the post i rbed where i first mentioned liking him fdsjkl

around the same time, i was having some realizations about my own experiences with childhood and family etc, and there was some other stuff going on in my life (also. the plague started so uh. that too.) that was just kind of culminating in like. A Lot of stress and fear and stuff. so seeing this character who has experienced somewhat similar things was ... comforting in a way? shared experience or something, idk. plus I've always been a sucker for misfit archetype characters, especially if they make a little family out of other misfits :')

another big part of the intrigue (because my crushes always start with a sort of 👀 phase fdsjkl, I have to think somebody is interesting in some way and want to find out More about them, and then feelings develop from there) for me was just the fact that he was Angry. like... the way I've personally learned to deal w abuse has been to always be meek and fawn. so seeing someone who went in the opposite direction, to become angry and strong and defiant instead, was SO fascinating to me and I was very curious to learn more about him.

so I looked into him more, loved what i found, related to him a bit, accidentally by some random occurrence stumbled upon some bf audios of him somehow??, wished he were real so we could hang out, thought about how I'd act around him and started to feel a little flustered about it ... it's all downhill from there once u reach that point smh 😔😔 (/silly)

for a long time i didn't really fully step into s.elfship territory w him - i dabbled a little but he wasnt The Focus™ in my brain yet. also we (as a system) have had a host change since then, so there was a previous juno that was not Me (even though we kept the same main name between us two parts), and they didn't like the guy as much as Current Me does djfkdl - theres also some ... relatively significant personality differences between the two versions of Juno, so I think Juno2.0 (me) meshes with him a lot better now than Juno1.0 did in 2020/2021

and then last year, i found and joined the s.elfship community and um. I absolutely did not mean for him to become The Main Guy and never would've guessed he would be, but... well,, we dont always plan things i suppose, feelings just happen 😭

anyways. it maybe seems kind of messed up but his ~tragic backstory~ is what drew me in initially bc it helped me feel less alone and scared when i was Going Through some pretty major shit lol. and then after that, i just kind of took the character base that pkmn had in place and ran with it to build on it and sort of make my own version of him that I could be friends with and eventually fell in love with ^^;;

TL;DR it was a mix of timing, similar history of abuse, intrigue bc of our opposite reactions to the abuse, and um... the way he is like,, strong and builds a safe place for other young ppl who feel unsafe or not accepted in general society fdsjkl

i get embarrassed talking abt it bc ppl seem to really hate it when abuse victims are weak in any way and need help, but ... i do really like that he is strong in some ways and would be able to give me a sort of safe place to let my guard down and receive help and care (as shown by the way he provides a safe place for the grunts, all the misfits and outcasts of Alola) ^^;;;; honestly kind of a Big part of it for me (and for pretty much all my s.elfship dynamics) is that he is able to protect me and care for me, because I have not like. experienced that ever. at least not properly. when your parents are the ones being abusive, you not only do not experience protection and care but you're also being actively hurt in some way by the people who are supposed to keep you safe. so to be freely given care and safety is kind of crazyyyy to me LOL, that is something i like a lot about him :')

OKAY RAMBLE OVER. i really tried to keep this as short as i could but,, brevity is not a strength of mine (esp when it comes to him) LOL. THANK YOU for the question !!! its fun to look back at how it all happened tbh :]

[anthroposeen]

tmagp 20 relisten notes!

we're 2/3rds of the way through the first season! very exciting, and with a lot of red string thats really starting to connect!!

as always, tma and tmagp spoilers under the cut! proceed with caution

celia:

- going into the meeting, celia is cautiously supportive of sam. so far, shes the closest to the (tma listener) audience in terms of background info. she's more inclined to believe sam anyway bc she has experience w the paranormal and especially with eye-related world catastrophes (from here on out, im going to approach celia as a character who is canonically from the tma universe, as i think theres plenty of supporting evidence at this point)

- she didn't know that starkwall were a militant branch that used to be employed with the oiar! in this way, shes working as a small foil to alice, who has a lot more info on government secrets, but actively avoids learning about paranormal ones.

- celia proposes that burning down the institute was actually done for good reason. as an audience, we can understand why (and even agree with her) but this is going to be a hard moral take to justify to her coworkers (especially if she wants to maintain a relationship with sam, whos falling on the opposite of this fence) and i get the sense that her grand reveal will eventually be drawn from them distrusting her. even from the perspective of tmagp characters, its becoming clear shes hiding things

- she says shes done research on TMI and describes its research as "catastrophic, world-endingly bad" ofc, shes right, but it does raise a question about how much of this research shes shared with sam, who requested she update him with anything she could find on it. either she was, and sam still believes that the protocol wasnt justified, or she didnt. and we dont know how much more she could be keeping to herself

- celia leaves an invitation for sam to keep her in on the conspiracy, but i dont see them agreeing on the morality of what he finds

sam:

- despite receiving pushback about his 'The Computers Are Spying On Us' theory last ep, sam is still determined to confide in a "safe" environment. as the audience, we know that phones, security cameras, and god knows what other devices are also being used to watch them, but this is still a proactive step on sam's part to avoid being listened-in on

- he's put together that starkwall initiated the protocol in 1999 to put a stop to whatever the magnus institute was doing -> based on the fan reactions ive seen, its been widely assumed that this was related to the tmagp!watcher's crown or some other eye ritual, and while thats entirely likely, the protocol could have been triggered from a large unbalance that wasn't necessarily ritual related

- he's pretty convinced that the protocol mentioned in ep 19 cant be the same protocol as in the modern day, positing that theres such a large lapse in time between the incident and TMI burning down (with sam and celia agreeing). but i dont think its a stretch for us to assume the protocols are the same, or at least based heavily in the same concept

- he received starkwell paperwork from 1999 via a mysterious email! though the address was different this time, it makes sense to relate this back to the email he received from "john", and also the email that sent gwen info on lena. im not sure if these are individuals each sending their own mail (jmj), or if its one person (thinking of the man colin keeps referencing as their spy)

- the paperwork he received was about the total destruction of TMI, but was heavily censored. i wonder if it was already redacted when it was recovered by the emailer or if they were the one who concealed parts of the documents

- "you cant seriously be ok with working for such a shady organization/ people died. they might still be dying." sam seems to really be coming into his protagonist wings this episode, reminding the audience why he scored so high on empathy at TMI as a child. similarly to alice, hes very motivated by protecting people, but has a strong sense of justice that i dont see in the other characters yet. while alice and lena are motivated by keeping the status quo for maximum guaranteed safety, sam is already pushing for change even at a personal expense

alice:

- expectedly, alice is more hostile towards sam's revelations, but not in her usual skeptic manner

- she knew about starkwall's history and reputation within the oiar and wasnt at all skeptical about their involvement in the TMI fire. i found this interesting because it showcases her specific brand of knowledge (government secrets and conspiracies) but also lacks the complete shut-down she normally uses when discussing paranormal topics.

- i think alice genuinely doesn't believe in supernatural stuff, or at least she's alright with vaugely accepting it as long as it cant affect her or her friends. she holds the same sentiment for government conspiracies, but without the heavy handed skepticism. i think she largely operates off of 'ive personally experienced this so i know it definitely exists' rules

- we get to see a small fan theory get confirmed this episode: alice does firmly believe in the conspiracy sam is looking into, but is motivated to ignore it for her safety and his own, and she admits to turning him away from it to keep him safe

- very important to note: she repeatedly says shes scared of them all getting fired, and seems to place getting fired and safety as two equal options, like you cant have one without the other

- we see alice refuse to believe certain aspects of the protocol conspiracy based on the idea that things dont run smoothly enough to support such a massive cover-up. ie; the computers cant load properly so they couldnt spy on them, and the protocol is not an ongoing project bc the staff are too small and flaky to take on that task.

- "i hate that thats how things are. i hate it. but it doesnt stop it from being true." -> this gave me flashbacks to jon and martin discussing the eyepocolypse in s5, where martin found it difficult to conceptualize and accept that the new world order was purely evil, constantly repeating that he hated reminders of their reality. always followed by jon firmly stating it WAS the reality, though, and denial was unhelpful. alice seems to be stuck in the middle of this same type of moral battle. constantly weighing her denial of her situation with the reality she is starting to be forced with facing

- the difference between her and sam's empathy lies in its scale. sam is willing to accept massive risk if it has the potential to help others, purely based on strong principles. whereas alice doesnt see the point in taking that risk- in putting everyone in danger- if it will not have a definite payback. she puts a high price on protecting her people, and weighs reality over hypothetical good

- as such, she refuses to be a part of the conspiracy, seeing it as an unrealistic risk that would do her and sam more harm than good

gwen:

- shes been assigned to recruit new externals, which does shine a new light on why she wanted more security. its one thing to interact with a contracted killer that has ties to the oiar, but another to confront one with no reason to respect her authority

- she is so clearly out of her depth in this career pitch

- "youve got completely the wrong idea", implying that the oiar isnt interested in controlling the actions of the externals. they're still free to do as they please, and the way gwen phrases it you get the sense that their opportunities are only increased through involvement with the oiar

ink5oul:

- they're tattooing on a dead body, and seem surprised that gwen was able to find their warehouse

- they dont fully understand what they're becoming. they can sense a change in their humanity and how they interact with energy (how they feed upon the fear of their victims and the attention from others)

- they refer to this need for attention as an addiction*

- another theory was confirmed! ink5oul is stealing designs from old artists like sutherland macdonald and oscar jarrett. i didnt think was going to be true when it first started circulating, but im not against the narrative move! it makes for a very conflicted character rather than a purely talented and perfect one. plus, i find it kinda funny that their not magically good at tattooing, their ascendence into avatar-hood started with them stealing designs

- they actually refer to their art in a really self depreciating way, only really having confidence when it came to their adaptations of older work, but still seeing their art as different and lesser-than the original

- i think a portion of this is due to the chemical ingredient of the ink -> though oscar jarrett doesnt have any alchemy ties that i could find, i think it might play a role in how the tattoos behave and how the skin beneath the designs was perfectly preserved

- despite their personal dislike of their own art, ink5oul still seems pretty egotistical, accepting that they must be better than others if theyve been given a platform. this is an interesting flip on an imposter syndrome, where we get a character who truly believes they deserve recognition knowing they didnt do the work behind the fame

- around the time ink5oul started enjoying the fear of their clients, their physical body also experienced a reflection of that. their tattoos began to change, with the ink (presumably the kind that jarrett had used) flowing under their skin. its implied that they use this to adapt designs into something more beautiful and brutal, as a way to continuously feed

- "have i changed or have i simply emerged?"

- ink5oul is one of the first tmagp avatars that seems to really disregard consent in their victims. ripping away the idea that victims, in some respect, "choose" to get involved in their fate. all of those people chose to roll the dice. that mugger chose to approach needles. the chef chose to accept lady mowbray's hunt. but ink5oul takes relish in the concept that they can take this away from people.

incident:

this is our first example of a live incident! taken directly from the interaction between ink5oul and gwen, most of the incident notes will be in their fields.

- what really strikes me is that gwen didnt ask many questions to prompt ink5oul into speaking, and we get a decently long and comprehensible (dare i say) statement from them. this could be explained as ink5oul just being full of themselves- its not out of character for an influencer to monologue about their life and accomplishments and drama, but its strange that we get such a concise statement in this setting. in tma, unless it was taken by an archivist or within the institute, statements were jumbled and inconclusive most of the time, so what was influencing ink5oul to spill their darkest secret? this is easily something that could end their career, but they say it all very casually, for apparently no reason

- i went back to check, and the incident is recorded through gwen's phone, not via a tape recorder, so im unsure what could be the influencing factor here

glitches/lies:

none

extra comments:

- *ide love to see addiction in the tmagp universe be explored in a new way. in tma we saw examples of how addiction fell into the becoming of an avatar and we got some examples of withdrawal, but i feel like there could be room for exploring a character whos getting sober. we saw this with melanie in tma, but her route to forfeiting her 'addiction' was through a horrible sacrifice, and i wonder if they'll keep with these rules in the tmagp universe or if addiction will play a somewhat different role

- im happy that ink5oul will remain a rogue agent for the time being, it offers some depth to their character arc that i feel other externals might lack, just because they become tools of the oiar and they might lose some spontaneity in their actions. though, im very interested in how the externals contract operates, since gwen seemed to think it offered a much better deal than free ranging fear (it checks out if the oiar is routinely feeding the externals).

[miiilowo]

I love asking questions heck yeah

How fucked are your William's joints? I feel like this is something you may have mentioned before? But I'm asking anyway bc good lord the springlock scars design in the tse graphic novel are so very prominent on th e joints

Ooh actually do you any thoughts on how getting springlocked affected William in general? Physically or mentally? And mayhaps how being springtrapped affected him too?

Ooh what are his feelings on Springbonnie

Ahh this afton focused is it? Sorry I just love the springlock suits in general . Hmm. Any reasons he may like the color purple, or be associated with it? Do you imagine his car actually is purple like the minigames? How is William's driving?

i lovw you <- youre asking me specific questions about stuff id never think about on my own

BONES !!!!!!! i have not thought about this before, somehow. ive thought about michael, but not william. i guess he would be pretty fucked up in the pain department, honestly. while the scars appear to just be skin-deep, whose to say it didnt hurt like a bitch when you have them Clamping Down On Your Fucking Joints? like, i briefly-and i mean BRIEFLY- dislocated my knee and it snapped back into place on its own, and it's still a lot more sensitive and weaker than the other one, so i have no trouble believing that he'd have physical pain like that. doesn't help that he is also an old man, and people generally hurt more as they get older

As for how it affected him mentally, I cant really be sure. Since i dont have like, a detailed description of what happened and how, its hard for me to try and put myself in his shoes and extrapolate from there. He clearly isnt too bothered by it, considering how much he adores the suits (and especially the spring bonnie one. for obvious reasons. which we can also assume probably springlocked him initially)

post-springtrap though? im conflicted. i know in the novels he makes a point of saying that he likes being springtrap, and hes fucked up enough to view him as a character-a role that he wants to play, a comical over the top villain. and while i do love that for him, really, theres something about how hes presented in fnaf 3; that quiet, barely audible groaning as he moves around the building, the relentless approach thats only stunted by the suit forcibly moving him toward sound due to its programming...................................ouuugggghhrghh. look. im a fucking sucker for horror, and i love how horrific fnaf 3 is when you get to thinking about it, so im biased toward it. we can use the novel springtrap as a fun way to learn about his personality, and how it plays into how hes cartoonish bastard, but i generally prefer the idea that it fucking sucks to be stuck in that suit. like, getting springlocked is bad enough, but the fact his chance to enact revenge was stunted by the suit moving his half-intact body around, probably causing immense pain? that shit fucks. really into that

as far as his opinions on spring bonnie....i dunno. hed like him. hes his character, after all, his.....literal fursona, in some ways. i dont think its a coincidence that he chose a spring bonnie related form to represent his digital consciousness, nor is it a coincidence that he repeatedly chose spring bonnie to be his physical form (see glitchtrap & burntrap; different bodies from springtrap, yet still spring bonnie. he did not have to do that. but he did)

The purple thing is also related to this last one. Its the accent color he used on spring bonnie (see glitchtraps vest & springbonnies bowtie), so he was probably rather fond of it. hes almost equally represented by yellow, so i think thats a top contender for favorite color too, but purple takes the cake. his car is a 1970 plum colored doge challenger with black accents To Me. i havent really thought about his driving. id imagine it fine, hed probably actually be good at it after getting used to driving 3 children around in it and having to focus on the road and them at the same time

[stellewriites]

questions about books! thanks for the tag @mikichko @pricegouge 🫂

1. the last book I read

i’m glad my mom died by jennette mccurdy

so fucking tough but i really enjoyed it

2. a book I recommend

the martian by andy weir

i’d previously struggled with first person in books and i was never into science but this changed my whole view on both,, mark is so funny and down to earth (badum tss!) you can’t help but get invested and the science is so easily explained - also i liked that a lot of it could genuinely be done except the initial sandstorm like it wasn’t bullshit for the plot. if you’ve seen the film then still give the book a go bc it goes a different way and it’s worth it imo

3. a book I couldn't put down

the book thief by markus zusak

it’s been a fair few years since i read this (ten i think? shit) but i remember coming back from college and reading it every day as soon as i got home and absolutely bawling all the way through. it’s on my reread list

4. a book l've read twice or more

despite watching things over and over i struggle reading things twice even when i really want to - but!! if graphic novels/comics count then ive read the watchmen a few times

5. a book on my tbr

my family and other animals by gerald durrell

one my grandma recommended years ago that i never got around to but im determined to read at some point. only short but it’s meant to be funny

6. a book l've put down

the first harry potter - tried before all of the author’s bullshit but i really struggled to enjoy it as much as people said i would. didnt even get halfway

8. a favorite book from childhood

a lot of these have been from my childhood lmao that’s when i did most of my reading but ill go further back into my niche zombie phase as a young teen and say world war z by max brooks (also loved his zombie survival guide,, it was like a special interest pls don’t ask)

9. a book I would give to a friend

i don’t really read anything similar to my friends? they either like practical craft books or band biographies,, i recced im glad my mom died to a co worker if that counts?

10. a fiction book I own

my best friend’s exorcism - i couldn’t tell you if it’s any good, ive not yet read it. a lot of my books are bought for me and it takes me like at least five years to get around to them

11. a nonfiction book I own

battersea’s a cat a day

a book where this pet charity has put together 365 tiny true stories about different cats to read every day 🥲🥲 it’s very cute

12. what I am currently reading

none atm - need to get on one i’ve been recommended soon

13. what l am planning on reading next

the one i’ve been recommended as mentioned above! it’s a romcom so a lil new to me for books,, i usually stick to fics for this type of thing and go more sci-fi/horror in published books but i think ill enjoy it

14. my shelfie

not an accurate shelfie on the left because it’s about 5 years old but i wanted to include my cat here

the covers are so sun bleached now in comparison on the right ahsjajkls - got maybe three shelves for books and one for art books/comics?

no pressure tags: @jackrabbitem @sentientcave @madstronaut @valkyri @boolger @noicedog @w00lgathering @xxdrixx @ohlawdthebirds

[tea-and-secrets]

idk what to do with my relationship rn

me and my partner have been dating for almost a year now and for the most part used to live relatively close to each other (2 hr bus drive away but i got to them every weekend) but they moved to a different country. for context, we both have bpd and im autistic and theyre my fp. i genuinely feel so unloved and its more of a death by a thousand needle pricks than anything and idk who to share this with at this point. they didnt gift me anything for christmas or my birthday even though they knew i love gifts and i tried to make it clear what i wanted. a couple of times they made it clear my opinions dont matter to them and i always have to provide evidence for things if they ask me. every time theyre upset they blow up at me and no matter what i do it usually ends in them telling me something along the lines of "i hate you" or "i hope you never wake up" and me being absolutely hysterical, but then them backtracking and telling me they didnt mean it but only if i tell them im literally suicidal. i try not to ask them for anything bcs they always say that theyre happy to do something for me but then treat it like its too much effort and im a huge burden and a bother. they ignores me when i tell her i feel horrible but when theyre feeling horrible they treat it like its only my responsibility to fix it and make them feel better and get very angry when i cant. i try to help them with everything but ive pretty much developed a freeze response to them even mentioning that they feel bad. i always try to be clear about what i want and what i think is wrong but also not too demanding and they say theyre gonna try to change and it never happens.

recently ive been feeling like the relationship is only hanging on me bcs i initiate calls, i usually text first, i ask if they want to hang out or not, i try to not keep them waiting for my texts, i try to always be there for them and i feel like i dont get any of that. they say they dont do anything all day basically but sometimes dont even have time to check texts. bcs of the time difference we basically only get to hang out from my 4 pm to 2 am and for most of that im either busy with chores or trying to be quiet around my family and they doesnt take that into account at all.

i very much do love them and would rather die than leave them but sometimes i think about what would happen if i just dont text them again after a bad night and idk what to do now.

.