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angstsfordays · 4 years ago

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Beautiful Pain (1)

Chapter One- A post-Blip world

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Reader

Summary: Post-Blip, you started to feel lost when most of the Avengers team are gone. Coping with your loss, you still find hope in the connection with your remaining friends. However, it is not easy as everyone is trying to figure their lives after the Blip.

Having a long history with Bucky ever since you both saved each other from Hydra, you were still glad you had Bucky after all this time. However, as you try to give Bucky space to find himself after being pardoned for his past, you start to wonder if you should ever cross the line of friendship before it’s too late.

That thought might have to be put on hold though, when you, Sam and Bucky find yourselves having to deal with threats that continue to rise in a post-blip world.

Chapter synopsis: Post-Blip, you find yourself more alone than ever as old friends are forever gone. You and Bucky struggle with finding life's purpose while trying to move on.

Warnings: Angst. A lot of guilt and self-blaming. Spoiler for ep 1 if you haven't seen it!

Word count: 2.4k

Notes: Here's the first chapter of the series! Check out the prologue if you have not done so! It gives you an insight into the OC's background and history with Bucky before TFATWS.

Hope you enjoy this read!

Opening up a tag list for the first time since I have gotten a request! Message or comment to let me know!

Leave a like, reblog or comment to let me know what you think! 🥰

Previous: Prologue | Next: Chapter Two |

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Present-day

Bucky felt his heart stopped for a moment when he realised what he was about to do to the terrified man from his dreams. Before he could imagine the next scene, his eyes flew wide open and he immediately sat up.

Assessing his surroundings to see that the television was still on, he realised he was home and have woken up from a nightmare. Even though Hydra’s brainwashing has been removed, the memories from his dark past continued to plague him.

The summer blanket you got for him pooled around his waist, his right hand reached out to give it a soft squeeze. The soft texture of the fabric comforted him emotionally as he sat on the cold hard floor. As he regained steady breathing, he looked around to see that it was still the early hours of the night.

He reached out for his flip phone- the one you couldn’t believe he insisted to buy over a regular smartphone. Pressing the buttons, he went to his inbox to see an unread message from you. Bucky contemplated opening it but decided to continue when he decided he wanted to hear from you.

Ever since the blip occurred, the days and weeks seemed to be a blur. Sooner than he realised, six months had just passed like that.

When Steve decided to go back to the past for good, all three of you including Sam were at a sudden loss. Bucky was disappointed but not surprised at Steve’s decision. Sam wanted the best for Steve and showed his support.

However, you were the most affected out of the group. He knew that despite putting a brave front, you were struggling with the loss of your friends in a short span of time. After all, you had spent a good amount of time with the Avengers and had a developed a close relationship with most of the team.

Bucky remembered how you immediately slumped to the floor when you heard the news about Natasha. You were at a loss of words before you started to break down when Steve went to comfort you. You always regarded Natasha as an older sister so her death hit you hard.

He recalled how you held back your tears at Tony’s funeral as you did not want to further bring down the atmosphere when Pepper and Morgan were there. He remembered how Tony was like an annoying but endearing older brother.

When Steve was disappeared from his spot, you didn’t think much of it thinking he would return in a matter of seconds after returning the stones. However, when all three of you looked to see an ageing Steve, you were the first to run up to him. Despite the astonishing expression that painted your face, you reached out to hold Steve’s hands to check if he was real.

Steve’s decision to pass Sam the shield was no surprise to Bucky. Even though Bucky found Sam irritating at times, Bucky knew he was a good man.

While you chose to accept Steve’s choice, it started to sink into your mind that the people once closest to you were gone or getting further. Bucky remembered how you were reluctant to let Steve walk away and Steve let you hold onto him longer.

You and Bucky decided to not let each other be alone that night. You two figured that at least you had each other and you wanted to cherish that.

-------------------—---//----------------------------

Moving forward, Sam had decided to find work with the U.S air force. Sam checked in on Bucky from time to time but Bucky contemplated to respond. After being pardoned for his past, Bucky found himself compensated but he still felt like a prisoner.

He was required to attend court-mandated therapy sessions to make sure he was doing well. You know that it was just a way for the government to have him under surveillance and in check.

He might be the oldest prisoner of war but he was still a super soldier and one with a vibranium arm. Bucky knew he was still deemed as dangerous in their eyes.

When you and Bucky discussed how to move forward, he confided that he wanted to make amends and you showed your support. When he asked about you, you seemed hesitant and a little lost for an answer.

The Avengers are gone. There was no more S.H.I.E.L.D.

Who were you now? What are you fighting for? What is going to be your purpose moving forward? These were all the questions swimming in your head.

You were reluctant to tell Bucky yet but a government official had paid you a visit while you were waiting for Bucky to finish his therapy session.

You were offered a position in a task force to maintain global security in light of a post-blip world. Given your abilities, you were viewed as an invaluable asset. However, you knew better than to take their words for it.

Revealing your hesitance, the official took a harder approach and laid out the truth. You were viewed as a potential threat if you were to not co-operate with the government. You are an unsupervised enhanced individual that is roaming freely. They do not want to allow that in the event that you were to do anything out of your own jurisdiction.

It was the Sokovia Accords all over again, you thought. The official added that you no longer had the Avengers team to fall back on. His words only added to the ache in your heart as you were reminded of your lost friends.

Additionally, he let off that Wanda had been involved in an event that caused the government to review their management of enhanced individuals in the country. Wanda was out of their reach but you were still around. They knew that you have been sticking by Bucky and thus decided to come for you.

Remembering Steve's words from the times of the civil war between the Avengers, you were not able to let yourself trust any words that the official said.

You didn’t want to let yourself be controlled especially by the government whom you knew had hidden agendas that they would not reveal to you. Their words of praises of how you would be a great addition made you felt like you would be nothing more than a tool in their master plans.

“What if I refuse?” You spoke to the official. The official's eyes hardened and his jaw clenched.

“Then Ms L/N, we will have to view you as a threat to national and global security.” You scoffed at his words when you stared dead into his eyes.

“You forgot that I was one of the many to help fight Thanos and brought the world back. This is how you decided to treat me after giving my service to this country? To this world?” You shot back in distaste.

You turned your back on the guy and walked off without giving him a chance to answer.

--------------------------//--------------------------

Hey Buck, I managed to find Wanda and decided to accompany her for a bit. She needs someone now.

I will let you know when I am back.

Don’t miss me too much ok! ;)

Bucky couldn’t help the smile that formed on his face at your last sentence. He missed you but he knew that you had things to attend to. He understood how much you valued your remaining friends. Wanda, being one of them.

-----------------—-----//---------------------———

Bucky sighed when he realised that he was not going to get away easy with today’s therapy session. Dr Raynor was really trying to push his buttons and even took out her darn notebook again.

That ticked Bucky off the most and he reluctantly gave in. He began to share about how he crossed another name on his list of amends. Dr Raynor then gave her opinion about how even making amends wasn’t able to help with his nightmares.

Bucky continued to deny that he had any at all but he knew Dr Raynor was not convinced. Glimpsing down briefly with an unconvinced look, Dr Raynor looked back up to Bucky.

“Look. One day, you’re gonna have to open up and understand that some people really do want to help you and that they can be trusted.”

“I trust people.” Not all but maybe just one. Only one person came to his immediate thought.

“Yeah, give me your phone.” Dr Raynor put aside her notebook before reaching over to take Bucky’s phone from him. As she searched up his contact list, she remarked that there wasn’t even ten numbers in it.

“Oh, and you’ve been ignoring the texts from Sam. Look, you gotta nurture friendships.” She spoke before noting that she was the only person Bucky called all week and how sad it was.

Dr Raynor was going to continue before she stopped herself. She opened up the chat with your name and read your last message to Bucky.

“What about Y/N?”

“What about her?” Bucky retorted.

“Seems like she’s someone you are close to?” Dr Raynor tried to imply something.

“She’s a friend,” Bucky answered firmly. Dr Raynor gave Bucky a glance before probing further. “I’ve seen her around before when she accompanied you at the beginning of your session. She seems nice.”

“She is,” Bucky answered curtly once more before deciding to shoot back, knowing his therapist was trying to probe more than he was willing to share. “What are you insinuating, doc?”

“Nothing. I am glad you at least have one friend. But you need to make more connections with other people.” Dr Raynor tried explaining. Bucky drifted off in his thoughts for a moment, thinking about how he didn’t need more people. He was fine with just you but he didn’t want to let on more than he wanted to.

He didn’t feel the need to explain about his relationship with you when you knew you two were solid. Bucky sighed internally when his therapist asked him what he wanted. Bucky thought of the calm and peace he had in Wakanda, his mind replaying the moments of you and him living a carefree life on the farm.

When he was told that he was finally free, he questioned “to do what?”. Was he ever truly free? The memories from his past, the long list of amends he had in his notebook. Could he ever truly be free from the guilt that constantly plagues him?

As Bucky made his way back to his apartment, he spotted his neighbour, Yori arguing with another neighbour, Unique over the trash. He reassured that he could take care of Yori to this Unique fellow before catching up with the grumbling old man in the alley.

Bucky convinced him that he would give a treat at their usual sushi place and that managed to pacify Yori’s mood.

-------------—-----——//---------------------——

When they were at Izzy’s, Yori mentioned how no one made it past 90 years in the obituary of the newspaper. The familiar waitress came up to the two and remarked if they were feeling adventurous since they did not order the usual.

Giving him a slight smirk, Yori suggested that Bucky should ask her out. Bucky immediately shook his head and gave Yori a bewildered look like he was crazy.

“Why not? Are you seeing that pretty friend of yours that always come to visit?” Bucky knew Yori was referring to you and immediately tried to refute the notion.

“Y/N’s just a friend.”

“Could have convinced me otherwise. You two seem really close.” Yori scoffed at Bucky’s statement.

“Such a pity. If I were 50 years younger, I would have made a move already.” Bucky chuckled at how Yori, despite being a grumpy senior most of the times, actually tried to make a witty joke. He silently agreed that you were indeed a catch and how it was crazy you have not been with anyone.

Well then again, you have always been with him all this while. Of course, as a friend, Bucky tried to convince himself that there was no way he would have a shot with you. You were too good for him and you definitely deserved someone better.

Even though he tried to convince himself, Bucky does not know what to do if you had managed to find someone and will eventually leave him to be on his own. He shook himself out of his inner thoughts and before he knew it, Yori spoke to the waitress.

“He would like to take you out on a date.” Bucky’s eyes shot wide open when he realised what Yori had actually done. Bucky tried to apologise on behalf of Yori for his bizarre behaviour but the waitress did not seem to mind. In fact, she was game and agreed.

After she went off to attend to other customers, Bucky shook his head and couldn’t believe Yori actually became his wingman. Yori then suddenly went silent for a moment. Bucky was nervous before hearing how Yori spoke of his beloved son who had passed away due to an incident.

Bucky listened intently with the guilt gnawing in his gut, his heart heavy with all of the weight of the world.

------———------------//------------------------—

Bucky convinced himself to go on the date with Leah. He decided to give himself the chance to make more connections as Dr Raynor had advised. The date was going well in fact. Leah seemed like a great gal but Bucky felt himself holding back.

There were just too many secrets he was holding in. What would she think if she knew who he really was? Would she even want to be in the same room as him then?

While he tried the whole online dating thing (much to your masked disappointment and amusement), he was not convinced if he could really make a romantic connection with anyone. Who was he kidding? Could he ever?

When the topic of conversation turned to Yori, the overwhelming sensation started to descend onto Bucky’s consciousness. Before he could stop, he immediately tapped out. Giving a pathetic excuse, Bucky rushed back to Yori’s apartment and had the urge to tell him the truth.

However, when he saw the altar that Yori had dedicated to his son, Bucky withdrew himself. He did not want to lose a friend in Yori even though he was dying to say the truth.

Bucky pretended to come up with an excuse to a confused Yori by paying his half of lunch before stalking off. When Bucky returned to his place, he opened up his notebook and stared at Yori’s name.

What was he to do?

A ring on his phone averted his intense thoughts and he reached for his phone.

Hey Buck, I am done on my side.

Would be back soon!

Can’t wait to see you again, missed you!

Bucky clutched his phone tighter and brought it close to his heart. He started counting down the hours till he could welcome you back in his arms.

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#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes #thefalconandthewintersoldier #tfatws #marvel fanfiction #angstsfordays #beautiful pain

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daily-dose-of-imagines · 4 years ago

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ᴅᴀᴛɪɴɢ ꜱᴇᴛᴏ ᴋᴀɪʙᴀ | Y̶u̶-̶G̶i̶-̶O̶h̶ | ʜᴇᴀᴅ ᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ

sksksk I’ve been meaning to do some more YGO and well thanks to precious baby @makeusfreefromthisfandom (THIS GOES OUT TO YOU BB) I’ve brought forth my passion to write for the first ‘anime’ I fell head over heels for. Yami Yugi will always have a special spot in my heart SKSKKS, but DSOD Kaiba? The animations???? Y’ALL.

Anywho, I hope you all enjoy these as much as I did with writing them~! Thank you all as always for supporting and loving our blog~! It means so much to Admin T and I! ;;

» » Admin Ko

Dramatic and one who won’t succumb immediately to his emotions, Seto Kaiba will literally avoid confronting his own emotions. Especially if it’s clear that despite his personal agenda, his heart has other plans.

When he first meets them, he thinks of them as nothing more than a 3rd rate duelist. (Throwback anyone?) Though it shouldn’t surprise many as he considers most, if not all that he duels against aren’t worth his time or air.

This changes though as the assumption of being a third rate duelist weaves into an unwanted rival. One who had skills that could’ve possibly gone up against Bakura or Marik in their prime; and for that he’s interested. A constant keep of tabs and self reflecting to further improve his skills.

Though of course the young CEO doesn’t expect his heart nor mind to slowly begin to weave them into his life in the way he least expects. Sudden dinner parties and unexpected lunch dates with him are excused as chances to observe his rival, when really he was enjoying the time he spent with them.

Mokuba is the one who takes this new change in happy stride as he not only shares this information with his own friends (the good ol’ gang), but with his own brother. After all, if the younger Kaiba knew anything about his older brother, it was that he could be completely dense to his own feelings.

It comes to the surprise of no one when the elder Kaiba adamantly refuses his feelings for them, yet that soon came to change after an almost fatal accident.

Word had gotten out of their affiliation with Kaiba, and not only had they been stalked and almost physically beaten to death, but was being threatened by his competitors. When this news came to Seto, best believe that he not only demanded them to stay and live with him, but that he’d look into the whole situation himself.

Seto only finally comes to terms with his emotions when they try to keep him safe from an attempt on his life. One that of course, ended in a physically draining duel. It’s then that Seto realizes how much turmoil and pain his heart went through at seeing their exhausted and weak form.

His confession is nothing short but over the top. Extravagant and eye catching, they can’t help but find it all endearing.

��───────────────❥

You soon come to learn that Kaiba is not the best at expressing his emotions. Rather put, he isn’t great at properly executing the emotions he truly feels. Majority of the time, you learn that it’s all hidden underneath a facade. A mask to keep those unwanted out.

It’s only behind closeed doors that you truly can see who he is as a person, and it’s nothing short but adorable.

He’s clearly passionate in what he does and loves to improve on everything he can. You think nothing of it at first, but soon you begin to realize the ways that he’s incorporating you into his passion. With your feedback and recommendations, you find that the tournaments and latest tech have your recommendations and ideas implemented.

You understand very quickly that he has insomnia, and spends a majority of his nights awake whilst going through his deck or left over paperwork. Though it isn’t the best, you find that Seto to be the most affectionate and cat like. With how he ends up curling up and snuggling up to you after an exhausting night, you can’t help but feel that swell of love build in your heart.

Despite not being physically affectionate, Seto is very clear with his feelings for you. He’ll notice the little things you need or desire and within the day or by the end of the week it would be set up and done for you.

You mention a cafe or restaurant you want to try out? He’s already booked the location for the next date night you both have. An interest in traveling? He has tickets ready for you both to explore to your hearts content.

Make no mistake though, even though he’s not the most affectionate he does show it in those rare little moments. Be it holding your hand as you both walk the streets. Or his hand resting at the small of your back as you both check in on duelists during a tournament, and in more private settings he’d gently caress your cheek while observing your sleeping features in the early morning.

#yugioh x reader #ygo x reader #seto kaiba x reader #yugioh imagines #yugioh #ygo imagines #ygo #kaiba x reader #seto x reader #seto kaiba

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waywardimpalawriter · 4 years ago

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Hey kristy-waves-I saw your blog and I liked it so much,so I have this request about castiel xreader about the song no light by florence and the machine ,I want it angst no happy endings necessary ,it's about the reader is hiding a secret about castiel and he knows that and faces her but she refuse to tell ,I hope you hear the song it might help and thanks

Hidden agenda

Pairing: Human!Castiel x Reader

Rating: PG

Warnings: anger, angst, verbal fighting,

Word count: 3,295

Note: Requested by @justmasblack a while ago, sadly I had problems with things in life and writing fell behind. That being said I’m now getting around to finishing up requests and hopefully other stories as well. This inspiration from the song ‘No Lights’ by Florence and The Machines. Enjoy doll.

Forever:

@angryschnauzer @feelmyroarrrr@aquabrie @fandommaniacx @becs-bunker

Supernatural:

@aprofoundbondwithdean @ruprecht0420 @akshi8278 @andkatiethings

“Listen buddy, um,” eyes darting everywhere but Castiel’s, not wanting him to see the truth. “You can’t stay.” 

Those are the words you walk in on, words that send a dagger through your heart not only for yourself but for Castiel as the look on his face speaks volumes. An array of emotions, from anger to disappointment and betrayal to the greatest being hurt all flit across his features. It makes your heartache and anger to ignite in your veins, combine that with an itch to punch Dean in his face for sending his best friend away.  

Taking two more steps forward you’re able to hear what Castiel says, “What do you mean I can’t stay?” 

Running a hand through his thick brown hair tugging on the strands in frustration, “You’ll be putting us in danger Cas. The angels their all looking for you and with Sam still recovering…” 

He leaves the rest hanging and though you don’t know if he’s actually looking at Castiel you suspect he’s not making eye contact as he normally would. You suspect there could be more to his reasoning and only part of it has to do with Sam. 

You go to step forward when Castiel speaks, rough and full of pain his voice cracks slightly, “I understand Dean, Sam’s family, and he’s still recovering, I’ll be going then.” 

Giving Dean one last look, Castiel spy’s you standing in the archway coming from the library, giving you a sharp nod as well before heading for the stairs. It’s unusual to have him walk away instead of just fly in a swish of trench coat and wings. Partly disturbing that the once powerful angel has been reduced to a normal human. This makes anger surge hotter, especially when the door slams, the ringing echoing through the bunker and your body with a finality you never wanted to hear. 

“What the hell is your problem Winchester? Why would you send Cas out to face such uncertainty and the possibility of death? He’s never been human before this isn’t something he should be facing alone,” anger tinging your voice as you step forward to confront the eldest Winchester. 

   Pivoting on his booted feet a deep glare marring his handsome features, “You think I wanted to do that, to send him out into a world he barely understands?” 

“That’s what it sounded like to me.” A sneer twisting your features, “You all but tossed him out the front door yourself. With no regard for what could happen to him.” Stepping down so that you’ve come face to face with Dean, arms crossed over your chest a glare showing the disapproval. 

Shaking his head, Dean slumps back against the war table, “I have no choice Y/N it’s either dump Cas out like yesterday’s trash or loose Sam.”

“Sam wouldn’t just up and…” realization smacks you in the face like an unexpected branch while running, deflating some of your anger. “Ezekiel threatened to leave didn’t he and let Sam die?” One sharp nod and you’ve come to lean next to Dean against the table. Knowing without words how hard this position is for him and what he’s gone through to make sure Sam heals.  

You are the hole in my head

You are the space in my bed

You are the silence in between

What I thought and what I said

You are the night-time fear

You are the morning when it’s clear

When it’s over you’ll start

Running a hand through already ruffled hair making it spike, “How can I not protect Sam when it’s my fault he’s in this mess. On the other hand, I’ve signed Cas’s death certificate,” pulling the stands Dean turns his back. Frustration courses through his veins making him itch to punch something. 

“I’ll go find him, help acclimate him to being human,” the very words shock you. Not that you don’t care for Castiel in fact if you were truthful… Shaking your head you push those thoughts aside, you were doing this to ensure his safety and wellbeing. “I promise to look after him, Dean.”

Turning, “You sure about that? You’ll be painting a target on your ass the size of Texas.” 

“Nothing I haven’t been through before,“ a deep sigh leaving parched lips. "Been hunting since I could walk, made a few enemies that way. Wiley Coyote chasing the Road Running,” giving a half smirk, “just a friendly game of tag that’s all.”  

Harsh snort leaving his lips, “I think you got that twisted sister,” shaking his head, Dean rests a hand on your shoulder. “Be careful and keep the two of you safe.” 

Smirking, “Now why would I go and do stupid a thing like getting us killed or captured?” slim brow lifting, you turn to head back the way you came. 

“All the same don’t let your mouth over load your ass Y/N,” calling after you, before slumping back against the table worried for the both of you warring with everything else already clouding his mind.

You’re my head, you’re my heart

No light, no light in your bright blue eyes

I never knew daylight could be so violent

A revelation in the light of day

You can’t choose what stays and what fades away

And I’d do anything to make you stay

No light, no light

(No light)

Having left without cleaning up or changing clothes you tossed your stuff into the passenger seat of your Ford Rancho, got in, turned the key and gunned the engine. Wanting to catch up with Castiel before he got too far or worse into trouble and your promise to Dean would be null in void before getting off the ground. Though you reasoned being on foot he may have gotten a mile, two at most. What you hadn’t counted on was the ride he hitched not far from the bunker. 

Exasperated you’re just about ready to give up driving around Lebanon looking when you catch a flash of something. A fight and by the looks a pretty nasty one with the guy on the ground getting the crap beating out of them. You pull over, jumping out to run over, getting the shock of your life when you see Castiel on the ground curled in a ball. 

Muscles react, hand goes to the angel blade in the small of your back hidden by your jacket, and ready yourself for a fight you may lose, “Hey assface why don’t you pick on someone who can fight back?”   

“Not your fight human just run away while you can still breathe,” tall and blonde, his nasally voice already getting on your nerves. 

“Pff,” flipping the blade a sneer on your face, “And why don’t you come over here and meet Mr. Pointy, he’s really looking forward to sticking it to ya.”

Lunging forward his own blade glinted in the low light, trying to take a swipe at you but missing as you’ve side stepped the angel. Who by the looks of things is still trying to use to his new body, “Ah what’s the matter fluffy haven’t got the balance to keep up?”

“Shut up mud monkey,” words gritted out between clinched teeth, eyes quickly assessing the scenario. Taking a few quick steps seeing that you drop your left side. An entry point he takes advantage of by landing a right hook to the side of your face. Having you stagger backwards at the power, “Not too cocky now are you human?” smirk drifting over his lips.

Catching yourself, tasting blood from the broke lip, you gather the coppery substance and spit it out right at his feet. “Nothing I haven’t felt before fluffy beside that punch was weak my grandmother could hit harder than that.”

No words, just lashing out throwing punches and slashed between the two of you. You’ve landed a few good ones to his chest, and side with cuts to his face angel grace flashing low with the cuts. While he’s managed to figure out your fighting style, inflicting a number of blows that have you staggering backwards and bumping into Castiel. Holding his bleeding side with one arm and trying to help balance you with the other.

“How sweet trying to help your girlfriend Castiel?” shaking his head in disgust a sneer crossing his angelic face. “Trading all of Heaven for these mud monkeys? You’re pathetic Castiel truly a disgrace to your angel wings.”

From your periphery, seeing the hurt and shame make his expressive blue eyes dim, and your blood to boil at the audacity of this piece of shit. Gently pushing away from his warm embrace, flipping the angel blade in your hand once more so that the blade is cocked to the side. Fire dancing in your eyes along with a healthy dose of hate for this piece of shit, “If anyone is truly pathetic it’s you. For following orders and not asking questions.” Taking a step forward new strength filling your veins at the memory of Castiel’s face. “You who think you’re so superior to us humans. But let me tell you one thing assbutt, Castiel has more heart and courage in his little pinkie than you have in your whole body.”

This time the angel snorts, hands out waving them carefully in front of him waiting for the next attack to come. Almost growing bored with the whole encounter. “Are you gonna talk me to…” before he could finish the words you start to attack.

Aiming your blade for his chest you throw it with all your might, only to have it deflected by his own blade. The act just the opening you needed to get a running start using his bent knee as a step to vault you up and around his shoulders. Arms wrapped around his neck to cut off air and put pressure to his throat. The two of you flailing in circles, he tries to stab at your arms and legs a few times. Getting a hit in a time or two, but his world is starting to go black, his senses unaware of the fact that Castiel has joined the fight.

Not wanting to lose you to this piece of shit you’ve taken upon yourself to defend him from, Castiel moves quickly as his injures will allow him. Picking up the discarded angel blade he moves forward, careful of the swinging weapon in the other angel’s hand. Castiel gets close enough hesitating for a fraction of a second, at killing one of his brothers. However, that thought flew out, especially when he notices that the angel has the opening, he needs to disengage you from around his shoulders and in the process ending your life.

Rage like he’s never felt before courses through his veins, his aim never wavers as it lands, sinking deep into the angel’s chest. Blood curdling scream leaves his lips, bright bluish white light enveloping them all, his body disintegrating under you, a yelp of surprise added to the noise. Feeling your body dropping, preparing yourself for the pain that would come. Eyes screwed closed but pop open when warm arms and chest catch you. Staggering a few steps, to almost dropping you, but managing to hang onto the most precious being in the world to him.

A surprised gasp leaves your lips when you land in his arms, your own go to wrap around his neck, eyes meeting the bright blues of his. You have to resist the urge to lean in to kiss him only helped by the wounds on your side as a hiss leaves you lips.

“Your damaged Y/N?” it’s both a conformation and question that has him gently moving towards the bench to set you down. Looking over your body and cursing his inability to heal you, while seeing the cuts adoring your face and sides. He flinches at the soft feel of callused fingers bringing his chin up to look you in the eyes.

“Nothing I haven’t dealt with before Cas I promise I’ll be fine,” eyes soft as you take in his own injuries. “We just gotta get back to my car and to a motel room to get cleaned up.”

Tell me what you want me to say

But would you leave me If I told you what I’ve done And would you leave me If I told you what I’ve become

‘Cause it’s so easy To say it to a crowd But it’s so hard, my love To say it to you out loud

You go to stand with help from Cas, the two of you holding on to each other and limping back to your car. Once in the driver seat a small sigh of relief leaves your lips, and you glance over at Castiel who’s got one arm wrapped around his chest where a gash seeps a thin line of blood through his shirt.

“Don’t,” gravelly and deep, though he doesn’t turn to look at you, just stares out the windshield.

Putting the car in drive, you pull away from the curb, “Don’t what Cas?”

Broken sigh leaves his lips though he still stares out the window, “Look at me that way Y/N, with pity in your eyes.”

Shock doesn’t even begin to tap into what you feel at his words. Surely he doesn’t think… “Castiel I don’t pity you. I’m worried and not understanding why you left the bunker.” Biting your bottom lip knowing that last part is a lie that tastes bitter on your tongue.

“Dean asked me to leave, it’s wasn’t my choice Y/N,” this time he turns to look at your profile hidden except for the times when they pass under a streetlight. “Did you know?”

No light, no light in your bright blue eyes I never knew daylight could be so violent A revelation in the light of day You can’t choose what stays and what fades away

And I’d do anything to make you stay No light, no light

Tell me what you want me to say

Rolling to a stop at the light, glancing over at Castiel his bright blue eyes searing into yours, making it very hard not to tell him the truth. “No, I didn’t know Cas.” Those five simple words bitter in your mouth, breaking your heart for the man beside and for yourself. “I only walked in on the last part of your conversation. Dean told me what happen and I left to find out to find you.”

Nodding solemnly, turning his eyes back on the road missing the hurt in your own. He’s unsure if he believes you but for now, “Thank you.”

“For what?” biting your bottom lip to keep the small sob of regret from leaving your chapped lips.

“Saving me back there,” his answer short and clipped while you pull the car into a parking spot.

Nodding though you know he can’t see as the interior is too dark, “Stay here I’ll get us a room.”

Watching you go, Castiel’s eyes drop to the cell phone on the dash. A text message from Dean flashing on the small screen that he can’t help but read.

Text: Have you found him?

Are y’all safe?

Fucking hell Y/N answer me.

The screen goes black as Castiel’s thoughts swirl in his head. Caught between picking the phone up to answer and just leave things alone. The answer comes with the next text message.

Text: You’re right Y/N I shouldn’t have made him leave. But I can’t lose Sam. Tell him….

Three dots blink for a moment as if Dean’s trying to figure out what to say next.

Text: Keep him safe and don’t let him know

The revelation hits him hard and he scrambles to get out of the car just as you come back from getting the motel key.

“Cas where are you going? I need to patch you up,” confusion coloring your eyes as you look him over. Gut dropping as to what has him acting this way. “What happened?”

“You tell me Y/N? What does Dean not want you to tell me?” eyes boring into yours making you flinch and turn away.

Running a shaking blooded hand through your hair, “It’s complicated Cas but I can’t tell you.”

You want a revelation You want to get it right But, it’s a conversation I just can’t have tonight

“Secrets never get you anywhere Y/N you know this. Sam and Dean know this so why the lies? Why keep this from me?” taking a step towards you wanting answers but also wanting to hold you. How could two conflicting emotions be warring inside his mind.

Moving towards the car to pull out your bags, “Not here,” motioning towards the room you’re rented for the night. Hoping that Castiel will follow and not just disappear.

Entering, you drop you bags on the bed as Castiel follows, standing as a status by the now closed door. “We’re in, talk.”

Sighing, you turn to face him arms crossing over your chest. Eyes catching the blooded shirt, “Take your shirt off and let me bandage you up first.”

“No,” firm and harsh Castiel stalks forward and grabs your arm as you’ve turned to rummage through your medical bag. The forcefulness in his tone and grip has you gasping.

You want a revelation Some kind of resolution You want a revelation

Pulling your arm free from his tight grasp, “I can’t tell you Castiel, its not my place plus I promise Dean,” seeing the pain, sadness that etches its way across Castiel’s features breaks your heart even more this time. Since you’re the one hurting him, something you promised you’d never do. Not to the man you love.

Shaking his head, “That angel was right I am pathetic for choosing humanity, for choosing…” he bites the last words off turning from you. From Dean, he could stomach the secrets and betrayals but from you that damn near killed him.

“Cas…” you step towards the injured angel now human wanting to try and make things right. “Tell me what you want me to say?”

Turning back, eyes catching yours, “The truth Y/N, I want you to tell me the truth.”

“I can’t.”

“I didn’t think you would. Goodbye Y/N,” starting for the door he doesn’t see you follow him till your hand grasps his. Thumb brushing over the back of his warm callused hand.

Wordlessly you try to tug him back inside, “Please,” you whisper, tears clogging your voice. Trapped between loyalty to Dean and your love for Castiel. “Stay, let me take care of you and we can do this together.”

“No not when I can’t trust you won’t hold other things a secret from me. Unless,” he pivots back pulling his hand free from yours. The warmth and tenderness getting too much for him to bare. “Tell me the truth Y/N and I’ll stay.”

Anguish flows through your veins, eyes down casting, arms wrapping around your body once more. “You want a revelation, a conversation I can’t have Castiel. Not tonight,” looking up at him pleading eyes dripping with tears. “Stay.”

No answer comes it’s almost like he has his angel powers back and he’s just flew away. But you know that’s not the case. No, this time Castiel walks out, quicker than you thought he could in his condition. That revelation destroys you. Legs weaken so that you drop to the musty carpeted floor. Sobs wrack your frame as you curl into a ball, cursing yourself for letting this happen. For letting him walk away.

You want a revelation You want to get it right But, it’s a conversation I just can’t have tonight You want a revelation Some kind of resolution Tell me what you want me to say

#Castiel x Reader #Castiel x You #Castiel x Y/N #Angst #sadness

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oradevilredeemed · 4 years ago

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Gossip Girl Rewatch

I decided to rewatch GG for the first time in 8(?) years. I haven’t touched the show since it ended and it’s interesting the views that have and haven’t changed. For my own amusement, the big things I liked/hated I will discuss as well as any other significant changes.

Chuck and Blair

You know what, yeah they were toxic but honestly I still ship them as much as I did before. Not only that but from season 1 to 4 we saw how they could be good and right for each other but also how they could be so wrong and destructive. From the end of season 2 we knew clearly they loved each other in an all consuming way but they were both broken and Chuck so much more so (honestly talk about the worst family and childhood ever) that they didn’t know how to handle or put limits on that amount of love. By having both let go at the end of season 4 we had season 5 to see Chuck become a man worthy of love through his relationships to others (Monkey is cute as) and through therapy which I wish we had seen and heard more of - he never went to Blair with a hidden agenda to bring her into his orbit for romance, he only did that once when Dan set it up because it was clear that in that moment Blair’s happiness included Chuck and then the next episode to try and understand what had changed and then because her own mother asked him. During that season we even got the clear juxtaposition of his former self by having Bart there to see just how much better he was at handling emotions and life changes.

While Blair got to explore the other types of love to determine which she wanted for herself in season 5, as Blair said herself it was her season to “run away and try to kill” that intense love that had her losing her way. She had always had a fairytale in mind and she got it and it nearly destroyed her and everything that made Blair herself. She then got her simple love, that was easy and she was content but ultimately that wasn’t for Blair who has always been passionate about something. The difference was this time she wanted the passionate but knew who she was as a sole person, she finally saw herself and had validation from the one person more influential then Chuck - her mother. In season 6 I appreciated the second time around how they had this understanding and communication over them wanting to set up a future for themselves separate from their relationship before fully committing and building their lives together. This help Blair complete her powerful women arc and also helped end Chuck’s history of unhealthiness in dealing with business and Blair - he kept her separate until he needed to scheme and them scheming together, using powers for good was never framed as a bad thing but as part of there skill as a lower couple. I also loved how naturally they both could fit in and help the other achieve what they wanted in a true partnership, demonstrating the way they knew each other, could bring out the best in each other and work as a team. Funnily enough watching it again I have a new head canon of Chuck and Blair in the 5 year time jump and beyond with them actually having one of the most settled and “normal” relationships and lives because they got their not boring out during the show and the circumstances of their wedding - normal would probably be a relief lol.

Season 5

I didn’t actually watch a lot of season 5 when it aired because I couldn’t but I read reviews and such and I hated majority of what I read. But forcing myself to watch it I...still hated it. Louis stayed way to long and Blair was just a bad character. I appreciated her friendship with Dan, but the relationship just wasn’t one I could get onboard with; something always felt off. I also loved Chuck working on himself, his friendship with Dan, and Monkey was pointless but cute so I enjoyed that and Chuck just really given things and his happiness up for Blair’s until it became obvious that Blair’s happiness lead back to him. I liked seeing the darker side of Serena but wish she had joined forces with Nate and Chuck more. The 100th episode was not “a love letter” and I stick by that. I used to hate but now love that Bart came back and was everything Chuck had imagined him to be. The first half of season 5 tonally felt like a completely different show so even though I didn’t like the Dair relationship it was easier and more enjoyable to watch than Louis.

Dan and Blair

I used to hate everything about them together, but now I enjoy their friendship and wish they had kept that between them. I didn’t like how Blair went back to judging his status in season 6. That brings me to the one thing I really dislike and that is how they ended. It was obviously done to cause some drama in season 6 but I feel there could have been a great moment of conversation between the two where they talked out her choosing Chuck and they could have maintained a friendship. Romantically I didn’t buy it, to me I found it one sided or just off somehow but I understand why others could ship them but it’s not for me and I was happy for it to be a relationship that led them (more so Blair) to an understanding of what they want. For Blair it was that while she could have safe and easy love and be content she would rather the passionate love that could bring her to the happiest she has ever been. For Dan I would say he wanted that role of ultimate insider.

Dan and Serena

I always liked season one and to a lesser extent season 2 versions of them. But afterwards initially no, I hated that they ended the show together and thought both (Serena) could do better. However, rewatching knowing what I know now (Dan is GG) is slightly different. I still love season 1 and to a lesser extent season 2 them but I found myself actually rooting for season 6 them, I felt the shock again when it was revealed that Dan had set things up but I also understood him a lot more that the feelings were genuine. I also could see why Serena could be so forgiving especially after her GG stint in season 5. The one thing I still disagree with though is the line that Dan being GG was him writing a love letter to them all, just no girl. I will say though that may head canon for them is that in between that 5 year time jump their relationship was still a little back and forth and not as settled as Chuck and Blair which I use Lily’s line of “I never thought we would get here” as my proof.

Bart’s Return

Oh I did not like that when it aired. I found it so soapy but on rewatch yes it was soapy but I also loved to see not only that Bart was exactly as Chuck imagined (and that we had actually seen - remember he was the one who swayed Chuck as the end of season one) but we also saw how Chuck was different to him and how he had grown. Chuck was fairly open about his feelings to Bart, even initially instigating a hug until it was clear that Bart and his feelings equal weakness self was there. In season 6 I found the decision to take down Bart extreme and a soapy device but they had set Bart up as this ultimate powerful bad guy that would have destroyed everyone’s lives so the only way for it to end was by him dying again.

Vanessa

I hated her on the first watch but on the second one I didn’t but I also can almost pin point the second that they had no clue what to do with her. On rewatch I actually liked her character but also feel like she was treated badly by other characters and ultimately the writers. I wish we had gotten a small glimpse of what she was up to after the time jump (she was the only character we didn’t see then) but I will stick with my initial thought that her season 3 faux dreadlock look was not it.

Rufus and Lily

On initial viewing I was really disappointed that they didn’t end up together and that she ended up with William but on rewatch. I think it made an odd amount of sense. Lily and Rufus had a lot of love but ultimately were different in fundamental ways that just couldn’t transpire to long term happiness. William blackmailing his way into her life was (funny I laughed when Ivy was going off) not great but out of everything in Lily’s life that was the least of issues. I do still love the call back to the end of season 1 though by having Lisa Loeb end up with Rufus.

Blair and Serena

Not much changed with my opinions but I will say I could see the systematic way they slowly broke Blair and Serena’s bond in season 5. Every time they called each other their best friend it started to feel insincere to the point where Blair even dating Dan a guy Serena had been and was so clearly I n love with didn’t even feel like something she should consider as wrong because that was something a best friend did. I don’t know if I feel they built them up enough after the events of season 5 but I also believe they wanted there friendship instead of being “stuck with each other” as Blair so elegant put in the season 6 premiere.

I’m sure there are a lot of other thoughts I have forgotten and some I have communicated terribly but ultimately I was surprised to find myself actually enjoying the rewatch. Watching in binge form was definitely an appeal but it also gave me some understanding and enjoyment to storylines I had previously disliked.

#gossip girl #chuck and blair #chair #blair and serena #opinions #rewatch #binge

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thezodiaczone · 4 years ago

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Leo Compatibility

LEO + ARIES (MARCH 21 - APRIL 19) ♥♥♥♥ Aries and Leo are Fire signs who love drama, passion and extreme adventure. You're a flashy, outspoken duo that plays by your own bold agenda. Restless souls, you need lots of physical and intellectual stimulation—politics, inspiring conversations, startup businesses—you'll juggle them all, making it look so easy. Of course, your emotional meltdowns require a team of therapists and devoted friends to fix, and you should keep those folks on speed dial. Adrenaline is your favorite drug; no surprise Aries Jennifer Garner and Leo Ben Affleck fell in love while co-starring in the action flick Daredevil. Like this Hollywood pair, who refuses to walk the red carpet together on principle, you respect each other's autonomy. Fire signs are by nature independent. You both need to make your own mark on the world, and you don't like anyone stealing your shine. In fact, trouble starts when one of you eclipses the other's big moment or makes the other look foolish in public. Rule number one: don't compete. With your rash tempers, it won't end well. Instead, be each other's biggest fans and champions. As the relationship progresses, put more effort into dressing up, especially if you become parents. Because you're so comfortable together, you could end up bumming around in burp cloths and track suits, dulling the sexy edge that attracted you in the first place.

LEO + TAURUS (APRIL 20 - MAY 20) This dynamic coupling is as stable as a batch of homemade explosives. Yet, you can't resist mixing those chemicals just to see what happens. The sexual pyrotechnics alone are certainly tempting. You're both proud, fierce and egotistical—two incurable hotheads—and you're attracted to each other's showy flair. When it's good, it's damn good: you get all the affection, doting and hero-worship you crave. You love to glam up like rock star royalty and paint the town together, drawing attention wherever you go. In fact, your shared vanity may keep you together past the relationship's prime. Sex is animalistic and hands-on (keep ointment at the ready for bites and scratches), and best enjoyed in the monogrammed sheets of the finest hotels. With your combined charisma and willpower, you could overthrow a midsized government, or form your own totalitarian regime. Bad days are brutal, though. The Lion assumes he's in charge of everything, but nobody bosses the Bull around. You both dig in your heels and go for the kill. Drama, shouting, and ego showdowns are your favorite weapons of mass destruction, and woe betide the day you turn those on each other. You're both capable of enacting a scene that brings down the house. Security!

LEO + GEMINI (MAY 21 - JUNE 20) ♥♥♥♥ You make great friends, since you both love to gab about everything from the Times to the tabloids, Ferragamo to flea markets. Conversations are fever-pitched and fascinating; you're both well-versed culture hounds. Romantically, the temperature may be tepid, though. Leo is a Fire sign ruled by the blazing Sun—the regal Lion wants to be consumed by passion, heat, devotion, attention. Gemini is an Air sign driven by speedy, information-gathering Mercury. Listening to The Leo Monologues, which span from political diatribes to emotional melodramas, is sheer torture. When Gemini dares to interrupt the King or Queen, suggesting that s/he actually GET TO THE POINT, hell breaks loose. Leo must learn to take Gemini's tough love and unvarnished feedback in stride, not as an ego assault. Unconventional Gem should assent to traditional romantic gestures: red roses, the Tiffany bauble du jour. Learn to adapt. Gemini rules the hands, and will need to put them on affection-hungry Leo more often, since the Lion is greatly reassured by touch. And yes, as an Air sign, Gemini will need to blow a little smoke you-know-where; Leo can be a nightmare without regular doses of praise. Gush and flatter—it won't be the first insincere thing to pass through Gemini's lips. Leo should keep a battery of patient friends on speed dial. Gemini may have multiple personalities, but as a romantic partner, s/he can't be your de facto shrink, psychic hotline, career coach, parent and social director. Spread the demands around.

LEO + CANCER (JUNE 21 - JULY 22) Can you say drama? Between Cancer's moods and Leo's ego, you're a camera crew away from being a reality show—the kind that makes you want to change the channel, only you can't leave the crash scene. Harsh but true. Your signs are both needy and bossy, but in different ways. Cancer is insecure and possessive, and this sign's sensitive Water element can quench Fire-sign Leo's excitement. Leo rules the zodiac's fifth house of drama, and suffers from a terminal case of what relationship expert Alison Armstrong calls "center of the universe disease." Cancer is ruled by the fluctuating moon, Leo by the sun. You literally can be as different as night and day. However, your knee-jerk reactions and hair trigger tempers cause the same amount of destruction. So what works about this match? It's packed with passion and romance, something you both adore. Cancer and Leo are heart-driven signs, and emotional highs are your breath of life. For all the crashes, meltdowns and train wrecks this causes, you remain fiercely, enigmatically loyal. Self-awareness is crucial to this relationship's survival. You both need to take responsibility for the drama you're capable of stirring up. In the best cases, you'll meet after you've learned to temper your emotions, or even better, logged a few dedicated years of therapy.

LEO + LEO (JULY 23 - AUGUST 22) Welcome to the jungle. Two hungry Lions can consume each other with passion, or destroy each other with pride. The relationship begins as a gushing praisefest, and you quickly form a mutual admiration society. Sensing a kindred spirit, your receptors start whirring and purring. You'll spend hours in fiery dialogue about everything under the sun, pouring on the flattery. Lust spawns as the conversation reaches a fever pitch, and soon your hearts eclipse all common sense. Remember "Bennifer"—the Leo-Leo coupling of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck that spawned the celebrity name-combining trend? Or the Oval Office cigar-caper-that-wasn't-really-sex between Leos Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky? 'Nuff said. Leos love to spoil and indulge your mate—but watch out, or you could create a monster. On the savannah, the lioness is the hunter; the male prowls the territory and sleeps up to 20 hours a day. Leo men can quickly become lazy and indulgent, while Leo women toil tirelessly on their omni-empires (think: Madonna, Martha Stewart). In rare cases, you can become a gruff, curmudgeonly couple—like two disenchanted cats who hiss and scratch, but stay together for nine lives anyway.

LEO + VIRGO (AUGUST 23 - SEPTEMBER 22) You're playing with fire here—literally. Passionate Leo is a Fire sign ruled by the Sun, and his solar power can light up a universe. Virgo is a practical, skeptical Earth sign who can throw dirt on Leo's flames before they have a chance to combust into a world-changing wildfire. It's a shame how quiet and subdued the awesome Lion becomes around Virgo. The problem? Leo is addicted to praise, and needs constant encouragement from his mate. Virgo is the zodiac's perfectionist; his critical nature can cause Leo to shrink-wrap himself into diminutive proportions. Think of Leos Madonna and Jennifer Lopez, and their marriages to Virgos Guy Ritchie and Marc Anthony. Yes, they had children with these men, which is important to the family-oriented Lion. However, both megastars toned down their flashy, go-getter images to play wifey. This dynamic must be avoided at all costs. Virgo's earthy nature should be no more than terra firma beneath the Lion's feet. In turn, Leo must shore up confidence, rather than take flaw-finding Virgo's feedback to heart. While Virgo is the helper sign, a codependent vibe can quickly form if he tries to manage Leo's demanding, dramatic life. Your signs are completely different; what's good for the goose is dead-wrong for the gander. Live and let live.

LEO + LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 23 - OCTOBER 22) ♥♥♥♥ You're a pretty pair, attracted to the other's good looks and charm. The courtship phase has all your favorite trimmings: massive bouquets delivered to your office, iPod mixes of your favorite angsty love songs, sonnets inspired by your affection. Leo and Libra are two of the zodiac's most romantic signs, and you love everything to be pleasant and harmonious on the surface. The challenge comes when it's time to get real. Rather than show your unpleasant humanity, you coat issues in saccharine, avoiding touchy topics to keep the happy vibes flowing. However, the artificial sweetness soon leaves a bitter aftertaste, especially for Leo. The Lion is a Fire sign, with a much more passionate disposition than cooler Air-sign Libra. Leo is pushy, Libra procrastinates, and you can get caught in a dance of anger as a result. When truly upset, the Lion roars. Libra can bellow right back, but he's more likely to withhold attention, the thing that Leo most craves. Leo's demands for affection, praise and validation can drain Libra after a while. Dramatic highs and lows tip Libra's scales off balance, inciting a passive-aggressive backlash. It starts with locked doors and escalates into Internet porn or even affairs if Leo doesn't get the hint. You may be better off as friends if you can't get beyond this impasse.

LEO + SCORPIO (OCTOBER 23 - NOVEMBER 21) This combustible combination drips with power plays, a white-hot dynamic you find infuriating and sexy in equal measure. In many ways, you're complete opposites. Secretive Scorpio is a private soul who rules the night. Leo is an exhibitionist ruled by the sun, and his piercing rays expose Scorpio's hidden shadows. Scorpio hates to feel this vulnerable—especially in public—yet, behind closed doors it can be thrilling. You're both passionate and imaginative in bed, with very little you won't try. As business partners and collaborators, you can make a dream team, too. You're both super intense, outdoing most people with your drive and focus. Leo plays the glamorous showstopper, and Scorpio acts as producer behind the scenes. (It worked for Leo Jennifer Lopez and Scorpio Diddy, who collaborated on her breakout album.) At least you don't compete for the spotlight, which can be a saving grace. But you'll struggle for the upper hand, since Scorpio likes to be in control and Leo is the bossy ruler of the jungle. Flirtatious, charismatic Leo can also spark Scorpio's jealous streak. Remember: darkness absorbs light. Leo must be careful not to get swept into Scorpio's powerful undertow and vengeful obsessions.

LEO + SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 21) ♥♥♥♥ This is a lively match of two compatible Fire signs, filled with fun and adventure. As lifelong learners, you both juggle many projects and interests, often running on fumes. While neither of you is around to keep the home fires burning, conversation and creativity are far more important to you than starched linens and home-cooked meals. You'd rather enjoy takeout from your favorite ethnic restaurant when the fridge gets empty, or sleep under the stars when you run out of clean sheets. Living on the edge is fun, as long as you don't fall off the cliff, especially with finances. During stressful times, you can exhaust each other, as you both can be emotionally demanding and dramatic. Leo needs more personal attention and praise than Sagittarius, but the truthful Archer doesn't give false compliments. He should learn to sing Leo's praises, if only to prevent time-consuming emotional meltdowns. Consider the benefits: a little acknowledgment keeps Leo purring for days, and gives Sagittarius uninterrupted time to read, start businesses, edit his documentary film. When life gets routine, mix it up with a spur-of-the-moment road trip, a long hike or a night at a decadent boutique hotel.

LEO + CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 22 - JANUARY 19) You're insatiably attracted, but you often end up hurting each other through a series of misunderstandings and ego battles. Leo is ruled by the confident Sun, Capricorn by self-doubting Saturn. That's just the start of your differences. Leo is a starry-eyed Fire sign who believes that anything can be achieved by sheer willpower and the refusal to take "no" for an answer. Capricorn is a traditional Earth sign, equally ambitious, but rarely willing to color outside the lines. He approaches life like a steady Mountain Goat, taking tentative steps toward his ten-year goals. Your different pacing could drive you both mad. Although loyal Capricorn is usually the stalwart partner in relationships, Leo is far more devoted in this match. Lusty Capricorn is mostly interested in sex. While you'll have plenty of hot romps, Leo can mistake Capricorn's physical attraction for love. Oops! The Lion must perform due diligence, and assume nothing. Unlike Leo, Capricorn's love is hard-won, not something he hands out like candy to Trick-or-Treaters. Then, there's the cheerleading that grates on the Goat. Leo urges Cap to believe in himself, which the Goat laughs off as fluff ripped straight from a cheesy self-help tome. Yet, lo!—Leo follows Covey's seven steps and becomes a highly successful person. Instead of congratulating Leo, war is declared: Capricorn scoffs at Leo's dreams, and Leo sets out to prove Capricorn wrong ("I'll show you!"). Before long, you stay together just to spite each other. What's the point?

LEO + AQUARIUS (JANUARY 20 - FEBRUARY 18) These opposite signs can be volatile match. Leo is the sign of the self, a born star and showstopper who commands attention wherever he goes. Aquarius rules the zodiac's eleventh house of groups and society—he's both the class president and its rabble-rousing radical. You're competitive spotlight-grabbers who can fight dirty, especially as you jostle to outdo each other. Case in point: Leo Whitney Houston and Aquarius Bobby Brown. Their destructive, drug-addled marriage brought Whitney's singing career to its knees. Yet, Leo is a hopeless romantic filled with haughty pride, standing loyally by a mate, fiddling while Rome burns. You both spark each other's jealousy, Leo by flirting with everyone in sight, Aquarius by treating his bazillion friends as though they're on equal par with Leo (they are). Leo is needy, demanding constant attention, but cool-headed Aquarius feels smothered by too much affection and togetherness. Aquarius will listen patiently to Leo's dramas, but only to a point. Leo must keep a stable of supportive friends on hand, and not turn the relationship into an exhausting soap opera script. Aquarius will need to show a little more emotion (besides anger) and tenderness, stepping aside to allow Leo's star to shine.

LEO + PISCES (FEBRUARY 19 - MARCH 20) Your signs are very different, but you can eventually gel into a lasting relationship. Pisces is a flowy, sensitive Water sign who needs a decisive mate. Confident Leo, a Fire sign, is a natural leader, eager to rule the relationship. Because Pisces takes longer to articulate his needs, Leo could mistakenly assume he's got the upper hand, and that Pisces is content to follow. Not so fast. In your own ways, you both wear your hearts on your sleeve, but you need to tune into each other's sensitive spots. You're incredibly romantic, and the tender passion between you is great in the beginning. However, you may hit a dry spell when it's time to get truly intimate. Secretive Pisces feels so vulnerable when his soul is exposed, and may lash out at Leo in an unconscious reaction to the Lion's strength—for example, criticizing Leo's appearance, weight or intelligence. These cruel barbs are actually just a projection of Pisces' own self-doubt, but they plunge a thorn in the Lion's paw no less. Pisces must work through the tedious knots of his insecurities, which lay deep in his psyche. Leo is a powerhouse who can run the show with his eyes closed, but he'll do best to step aside and give the Fish his chance to shine. Shy Pisces is a true creative force, but his brilliant imagination and keen intuition can be eclipsed by showy Leo. Work through this. Luxury is a weakness for your signs, and you love to indulge. You may need to take courses on money management together, or team up to make a fortune so you never have to worry about it.

#leo #compatibility #astrology #zodiac #love #relationships #Leo compatibility

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elopez7228 · 4 years ago

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Scenic route 20/47

Read on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/18268208/chapters/43229774

Start over : https://elopez7228.tumblr.com/post/620919089893933056/scenic-route-0147

***

The conversation flowed amicably and Rey was quite relaxed by the time the Millenium Falcon reached the parking lot of the tourism office.

Maz left the car with one last affectionate pat for BB8, taking a moment to thank Rey for wishing her safe travels.

Inside the immense air-conditioned mass that was the tourism office, a 4-feet-wide digital clock showed the countdown until the next eruption of the geyser.

With nearly half an hour to spare, Rey took a walk through the gift shop. She briefly admired the keychains and postcards, before pausing in front of an item that left her quite perplexed. Bear spray? What on earth was that?

The shopkeeper—who was appropriately decked out in green forest ranger attire—informed her that it was used by hikers to ward off bears in the unfortunate event of an encounter. An accessory that would surely save lives, given the population of grizzlies that roamed freely within the park.

Rey bought one because she knew that only too well. The odds of her being attacked by a bear a second time in so few days were low, but she had learned not to underestimate her natural tendency to conjure bad luck out of nowhere.

Her phone informed her it was almost show time, so she settled on one of the benches installed in a semi circle at a safe distance from the white crater of the geyser.

***

Syed felt like a punk in a playground. She had ended up in the middle a sea of tourists who were all wearing some hideous combination of sun hats, shorts, Hawaiian shirts, cameras, and—she shuddered—socks with sandals. She stuck out like a sore thumb against the pastel masses with her tall black-clad frame, her numerous piercings, and her menacing brass chains.

She cursed Kylo for sending her to hell, far from her friends, her audience, her guns... and him. She had taken multiple photographs of a very sloppily dressed Rey, who had taken the Millennium Falcon for a joyride. Now she was wondering who to send them to. Kylo? Or Hux? Or maybe Snoke?

Theoretically, she was doing this mission on behalf of Kylo Ren. But he had shown signs of weakness that in his interest, she had the duty to report further up the chain of command...his obsession for this little English brat was beyond comprehension.

He used the hunt for environmental activists as an excuse to justify his meddlesome romantic advances, but Syed was no fool. This girl was just a tourist. She wasn’t a secret agent of the Earth Soldiers. She was frolicking about with sunglasses and a cap glued to her skull, sipping some basic frappuccino, bothering bears, and taking selfies. It was improbable, and even impossible, that she was on a mission for an ecologist association that was making dooms-day preparations. She was too relaxed; obviously a woman on vacation, certainly not an agent on active duty.

Syed meanwhile, was always on the clock. It was a shame really, the amount of time had she wasted stalking that bitch.

She finally sent the photos to Armitage Hux. He was particularly pleased when he received an image of Kylo in the throes of passion with his plaything. She didn’t know what he would do with it, but she knew from experience that when Kylo needed a guardrail, Armitage Hux was the man of the hour. He would simply do a little sleight of hand and suddenly the unruly punk would fall back in line.

Everything would be back to normal...like nothing had ever happened.

As for Kylo Ren himself, knowing he needed a bone to chew on, she sent him hourly reports of his little protege, deliberately omitting any mention of the hitchhiker. It was really the only useful information of the day; and she preferred to keep an ace up her sleeve in case he decided to be difficult.

The hitchhiker was nearing the Millennium Falcon again, and Syed went off to disappear into the crowd.

The little woman circled the car for a while, then sat down on the hood, with spectacular ease. She took off her hiking boots and massaged the soles of her feet. Syed rolled her eyes. For fuck’s sake, this old hag was probably less important an update than she had initially anticipated.

When Rey came back, the woman had come down from her perch and was waiting patiently next to the mirror. Rey frowned. People had to seriously stop their fascination with her car. What was that all about?

All her wonder at the sight of the geyser (the truly magnificent explosion of water and steam as high as a five-storey building), faded to give way to an anxiety that was alas, very familiar.

"You’re still here?” Her reaction was harsher than intended, spurred on by the unexpected intrusion.

"I was waiting for you, I hope you don’t mind," Maz replied innocently. “I haven’t found another ride, may we continue some of this journey together?”

Rey regretted her initial inclemency. She reacted too intensely, to everything. She took a breath to force herself to regain her composure. Maz was harmless, but it was easy to see why she was struggling to find a helping hand: the park was teaming with pretentious tourists who were reluctant to change their route or their agenda...and who were suspicious of pickpockets. She had been one of them, after all.

Rey sighed, her shoulders sagging. “Okay, fine...but I’m warning you, I’m doing a tour of all the geological marvels out here.” She said with a smile.

“Fine with me,” Maz smiled in return. “Thank you very much. I promise you won’t even know I’m here.”

Rey swallowed a remark about Maz’s tiny stature, and gently pushed BB8 over to make space.

“It's funny,” Rey observed. “BB8 doesn’t seem at all disturbed by your presence. She’s rather aggressive with strangers, usually.”

“What strangers?” Maz laughs, reaching out to stroke the dog.

"Oh, just one stranger in particular," Rey corrected with a wave of her hand. “It was impossible for him to approach, she would try to bite him.”

“Had they met before?”

“No, of course not. He would have told me if...” Rey’s voice caught in her throat.

Did Ben and BB8 have history? It was unbelievable, and yet...he had immediately shown interest in her, seemingly out of nowhere, when they had joined him in the Jackson Hole Lodge parking. He even outright asked if BB was her dog.

It was a silly question to ask someone walking with a dog on a leash. Why would he need confirmation?

Now that she thought about it, he had asked the same strange question about the Millennium Falcon:

Is this your car?

Obviously, it was hers. It’s not like she was just playing Russian roulette out there, hoping to find a car she could force open in the middle of the parking garage. But it was strange that he tried to make sure.

That said, in his defense, perhaps it was simply because the Millennium Falcon was an infamous bastard of a car. Anyone would have been shocked at seeing a machine like this still in use! Who knows what went on in Ben’s head?

Her face had scrunched up into a worried expression, which did not escape Maz.

"Something bothering you?” She asked in a gentle voice, “maybe I can be of some help?”

"I don’t really know," said Rey, still pensive, as she slowly pulled out of the parking space, "I've experienced some rather unlikely things since I landed in Denver. I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

"Start at the beginning," Maz replied encouragingly. “I've got plenty of time.”

That afternoon, Rey and Maz visited some of the most spectacular geological sites around the volcano: boiling springs that gave way to rainbows, geysers by the dozen, bubbling fumaroles ...they even crossed paths with animals that were once threatened in the wild—but were in total safety within the park’s verdant confines. They came upon placid bison, elk, and bald eagles. Thankfully, they saw neither bears nor wolves. These animals, however numerous, tended not to approach busy trails.

They spoke a lot.

Rey found in Maz an attentive third party, to whom she could open up without fear of judgment, and especially without fear of the rampant sexual tension present in her conversations with Ben. She knew he was attracted to her, he did nothing to hide it. But as a result, she continually wondered if the words he said were sincere, rather than a carefully prepared speech designed to charm her to his bed. He had almost managed to get there, in fact.

In principle, there was no harm to that, she was a consenting adult. And she had to admit that she had savored every kiss, every touch...But her own ardor worried her. Had she flirted with Ben Solo because she wanted him, or because she needed to be reassured, to be held, after what Finn had done to her?

She had to put her heart back in place, heal her wounds, find her inner peace. Only then would she consider Ben Solo.

"You do not want to make him your consolation prize," Maz hummed sagely. “That is rather commendable.”

“I don’t think he cares either way. I mean, we are both consenting adults, but I don’t want to be a trophy...be just another notch in his bedpost.”

"You should talk to him...is it possible you’re mistaken about his intentions towards you?”

Rey narrowed her eyes. “Yes, we need to talk ...” about more than you know.

Maz was from Florida. She was bored of her apartment which sat at one end of the land, and thus decided one morning to go on foot to the other end. She had plenty of time, and improvised her itinerary at random. She had a host of tales to tell about backpacking trips to Central Asia or South America, often far from cities and crowds, and Rey began to wonder how old she really was.

It was impossible to say: her face was both smooth and furrowed, her eyes constantly hidden behind huge triple-focus glasses. Her hands were small but her fingers were long and bony. Despite her diminutive appearance, she seemed to burst with energy, and possessed an exceptional amount of savoir faire.

Yellowstone? She knew every corner of the place. Alaska? She knew which roads to use in which season. London? She had lived there twice in her youth. The Millenium Falcon? She had once owned a car of the same make and model. BB8? Canine behavior was no mystery to her.

What a strange old woman, Rey pondered, finally glad to have good company.

Black Sand Basin, Geyser Basin, Great Fountain Geyser, Lower Geyser Basin...The park's attractions were like cat nip to tourists, including Rey and Maz. It was hard to blame people for coming all the way to Yellowstone form the corners of the globe.

Evening was falling. The day had been exhausting, the traffic was atrocious, and the heat was stifling.

Rey went to the Madison Village campground in the park to reserve a place for the night.

Everything was complete.

Finally able to stop panicking, she was content to sleep in her car in the campground parking. Simple as that.

But what about Maz?

Leaving the campsite's bungalow, she returned to her car. The little woman was standing there, her bag hoisted on her shoulders.

"I’m all done for today," Rey explained, “I'm going to sleep in the car, they told me it was okay as long as I paid parking fees. How about you?”

She gestured awkwardly at the car. “Do you want the back seat? BB8 can come sleep with me...?”

Maz smiled to assuage her fears. “Don’t worry, young lady. I'm used to sleeping under the stars.”

"Right here?! With the bears and everything—“ Rey was incredulous.

“Don’t fret. I’ll take care of myself, you take care of yourself and BB8.”

Rey looked away as the sound of tinkling bracelets faded into the distance. Better not think about it, the last thing she need was an extra dose of anxiety. And besides, she was hungry.

The vending machine at the campsite procured a packet of chips, a flavorless coffee, and a Snickers bar. Dejectedly, she looked down at her meal. It was the food pyramid of sadness.

She wanted fresh vegetables and a hot plate...she would have to plan better tomorrow. These snacks were barely what she considered food.

What was Finn doing now? She couldn’t help but wonder.

He was probably still on the respirator; if there had been any improvement in his condition, Poe would have called her.

What was Ben Solo doing?

That was easy, he was about to give a concert. Rey pulled out her phone. Should she call him or send him a message? She opted for a message.

Good luck with the concert tonight! Not too nervous I hope?

An answer arrived immediately. He wasn’t on stage yet.

Thanks for the good vibes! But I wish you were here in the room.

#reylo #fanfiction #Scenic route #Modern AU

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nexthecryptid · 5 years ago

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This is Home Ch. 5

This is Home Ch. 4

Summary:

A pack called the Galra are up to something, and it’s somehow tied to the disappearances of creatures, and the increase of demonic activity. Keith had somehow stumbled into the danger when he found his mother, making the choice to stay away from his friends to keep them safe. But in the end it didn’t even matter. They’ve got targets on their heads, and the Galra are slowly closing in on his home town Arus. He isn’t sure how to face his friends… Two years was a long time to be gone. … There are rumors that are floating around VLD University, crazy ones. While some of them Lance could tell was him or his friends, there are others that were… inexplicable. To make matters worse, he’s having dreams again, dreams about someone who just vanished. It felt like he was being haunted. Lance didn’t know he was going to have other things to worry about until the ghost revealed himself.

…

Prefer to read it on A03? Read it Here!

First . Previous . Next

“There are only certain things you should keep hidden, mijo. Like plans for a birthday surprise, or maybe the ending of a t.v. show or book.” Her voice was soft, sounding like how a feather would feel as it soothed some of the anxiety he had away. He leaned into her touch as she ran her fingers through his hair, gentle and slow as she played with his curls. Her movements followed along with the melody of the ocean before them, the waves crashing and dragging along the sand before them in a silent beat that only they could hear.

“And the stuff we can do, right?” Lance asked, his grip tightening around the hand she had offered to him.

“Especially the stuff we can do. However, there are certain circumstances, certain situations, where it is okay to tell or show someone our magic. Like today.” Her words were supposed to be reassuring, but a spike of anxiety echoed through his body instead, making him want nothing more to curl into a tighter ball and hide. Today he had messed up.

“I’m sorry Mama.” He sniffed, tears trailing down his cheeks.

“Oh, Lance. Look at me mijo” She gently coerced him into standing in front of her, her hands gently lifting his face so that she could look him in the eye.

“I showed Hunk!” He cried.

“You did what was right. You saved your friend's life! You knew you could save him if you used your magic, and you did. I am so very proud of you Lance.” She gently wiped the tears away, leaning down and kissing his forehead with so much love, Lance could practically feel it wrapping around him.

“But… But what about our secret?” He asked.

“It is still our secret. Do you trust Hunk?” She asked.

“Yes! He’s my best friend! And he won’t tell anyone I promise!” He grabbed her hands, yelling as if it would emphasize his trust. And to him it did.

“You see? While it’s important that we keep our magic to ourselves, you will come across people that you can trust to tell. You just have to trust your judgement, and wait for the right time. Sometimes the time will come when you least expect it.” She said, smiling softly.

She took his hands into her own, holding them tightly before humming. He followed her gaze then, looking to the ocean and listening closely to the melody it sung.

…

Lance could still feel the ghost of his mother’s fingers running through his hair as the wind blew over him. He shivered as chills ran down his spine, the cold bite of the autumn air making him shake a bit. He pulled his sweater tighter around himself as he sat up, rubbing his arms to warm himself up a bit. He squinted through the brightness and looked around, noting that the sun hadn’t moved all that much. Neither Hunk or Adam had returned either, so he could tell he hadn’t slept for long. But it was long enough that he was cold. Another gust of wind blew through the small clearing again, Lance deciding that he could think about everything after he got himself into the sun. He left the stuff behind, figuring they could grab it later once his friends came back.

While the dream was short, it was more than enough to give him the message it had intended to pass over. Or at least he thinks he knew what it was about. He just didn’t really know how it fitted in with the rest. Every other memory seems to emphasize that the event was about Keith, that it had something to do with him. But there was something more than just that, he just didn’t know what. He could feel it though, like trying to remember an artist to a song he loved. On the tip of his tongue, but the words didn't come until it was already too late to matter.

A million questions ran through his mind as he crouched down by the pond, basking in the sunlight as he let himself warm up. He was always one for the sun, but even it’s warmth wasn’t comforting as he thought about the problem at hand. There was also a feeling that sat heavy in his stomach, one that he had been ignoring since the visions started. He was afraid to acknowledge it, knew what it meant if he did. But at this point, there really wasn’t anyway of not feeling it.

For once in a very long time, there was hope that Keith was alive. That maybe… he was coming back.

The word hope kept echoing through his mind then, drowning out all the questions that had been repeating themselves. While some of them were concerning, it didn’t seem as important as the fact that Keith was alive. Why else would he be having visions of him?

“I swear if I’m wrong-” He cut himself off when he heard something, dropping down to his knee and looking around to see where it was coming from. The sudden panic pulsed through his chest, his heart pounding loudly in his ears. It sounded like something was running towards the edge of the clearing, nearing where he had just left their stuff. He let out a breath of relief, figuring it was Hunk or Adam coming back from taking a look around, probably finding nothing. He stood up and brushed the dirt off his knee, prepared to call out to his friend.

What he hadn’t expected was to see a wolf jumping through the trees and stopping short of their bags.

Lance had only seen wolves through pictures or at a distance at the zoo. He had never seen one up close, and though he thought they were pretty cool, it really wasn’t on his agenda to make that happen. He had joked about them just being bigger dogs, but he knew better. He knew they were dangerous and now that he was staring into the eyes of a gray wolf, he could tell that they were a lot bigger than he had initially imagined. Bigger, and scarier.

He tried to remember all of the details that he had read the last time he was at the zoo, trying to think of anything that could help him in this situation. But all he could think about was the fact that wolves usually traveled in a pack when hunting. He hadn’t ever heard about wolves being in the woods though, so there was a possibility that this one was alone. It had been a while since they had come here, so the wolf could have shown up in that time, and there had been rumors floating around that animals started showing up. He just thought that they were about his friends. But if the wolf was alone, there was a chance he could just scare it off and then try to signal his friends to come back so they could leave.

That plan was quickly tossed out the window when the wolf slowly raised its head, Lance’s heart dropping as a loud howl echoed around them. There were others, and he wasn’t about to stick around to find out just how many there were. He took the opportunity, turning on his heel before taking off into the opposite direction. If he could make it to the trees, to one with low enough branches, he could climb his way up and avoid becoming lunch for the wildlife. The howl was loud, so there was no doubt that his friends were already on their way back, and they couldn’t be too far. Hopefully.

The howl was short though, hardly giving him a good enough head start. He could hear it kick one of the bags as it began chasing after him, Lance refusing to glance behind to see just how close the wolf was already to him. He cursed when he couldn’t reach the branches of the first few trees he neared, growing desperate as he tried to go further in while trying not to trip over the roots. Running from it was inevitable though, the wolf circling in front of him and blocking his way. He skidded to a stop, cursing as he landed on his ass, the pain shooting up his spine. He wasn’t running for long, but he still panted, his panic seeping into his lungs as he tried to scoot backwards. Tears welled in his eyes as the wolf stepped closer, Lance letting out a strangled yell. It made the creature pause, it’s head lowering, and if he wasn’t panicking, he could probably see the guilt in its movements. But instead he backed himself against a tree, pushing against it as if he could simply dissolve into the trunk. He squeezed his eyes shut out of fear, desperately trying not to imagine the amount of pain he was about to be in.

For the second time that day, something unexpected happened.

He felt the nose of the wolf press against his cheek in a gentle manner, Lance shivering at the way it felt slightly wet. Gross. He didn’t relax though, shaking as the wolf began to sniff him, hovering over his face, hair, neck, chest, like it was looking for something particular. He swallowed nervously as he felt the wolf pull away, a grunt coming from what sounded like their chest. He took a deep breath and slowly peeked an eye open, flinching slightly at how close the wolf had stayed.

It was then he actually looked at their eyes and took it in. They weren’t yellow like had initially thought, or how most wolves he had seen. Instead they were like light purple-gray and one that he had become accustomed to. But he couldn’t remember where he had seen the color before, and for some reason it bothered him. It drew him in with their familiarity, distracting him from the fact that he had just been running away from a creature that could kill him within seconds, it’s teeth only inches away from his throat. There was something… almost human. His eyes widened and it clicked in his mind that he wasn’t just looking at a wolf.

“You’re a… Shapeshifter…?” He mumbled. When the wolf’s ears perked up, it only confirmed what he had said. He relaxed a little, and if it weren’t for the situation, Lance would have found the way the wolf seemed to nod comical.

He wanted to ask them another question, find out what was going on. But he snapped his mouth shut when the wolf started growling suddenly, once familiar eyes now an eerie yellow. The fear from earlier quickly returned as he flinched when the wolf moved, watching as they turned away.

A loud bellow was the only sign Lance needed to know that Hunk was there, spotting the large brown bear rushing towards them. The wolf started barking, teeth bared and snapping their jaw in an attempt to intimidate the other, but Hunk didn’t stop. He threw his whole body against the wolf, knocking them away from Lance in one swift movement. The wolf caught himself though, landing on their feet before rushing back. They jumped onto Hunk’s back and sank their teeth into his neck, latching on as they clawed anywhere they could reach.

“Wait! Stop it!!” He yelled, panic building in his gut as he watched the two knocked one another around. Either neither of them heard him, or they were too caught up in the fight to acknowledge what he had said. He wasn’t entirely sure what to do either, tears of frustration welling in his eyes as Hunk let out a pained whine. He was panting heavily, and Lance could see multiple scratches on his friend’s body. The wolf didn’t look any better, standing on shaking legs with a distinct limp.

The growls, roars, or yelps they made covered any sign of the new creature that sprung forward, latching itself onto Hunk’s front paw before it could strike the wolf again. As if things weren’t crazy enough, it was a panther that came to the wolf’s rescue, standing protectively over the other when Hunk finally shook them off.

It was who the wolf had called for earlier.

“Lance! Over here!” He spotted Adam standing by the pond, arms waving for his attention. The panther seemed to notice him too though, darting towards the brunette. Hunk tried to go after them, to stop them, but the wolf caught him off guard, slamming its body into Hunk and knocking him over.

Lance got the gist of what Adam was telling him though, his hands stretching before him as he felt a sharp chill spread from his chest, down his arms and into his hands. Markings that had once been invisible glowed under his jacket as he concentrated, gritting his teeth as he felt the strain. The pond water rose and twisted from it’s bed, shooting out like a snake as it quickly scooped the panther up, carrying them along as it then scooped the wolf up. He was careful though, not wanting them to drown as he pulled his arms in, the water copying his movements as he pulled it towards him. He waited till they were a few feet away before letting them down gently. He couldn’t hold the yell that ripped from his throat as the water froze around them in a makeshift jail, feeling his arms grow painfully cold.

“Too much.” He mumbled to himself, his teeth chattering. He let himself sink down to the ground, his body shaking violently from the sudden drop in his body temperature. He was pretty sure his lips were blue, his breath visible as he let out a shaky huff.

“Take your jacket off.” Adam instructed as he ran up beside him, cupping his hands under the sun.

“Sheesh, you haven’t even bought me dinner.” He said, never the one to give up on an opportunity to joke.

“Lance!”

“Okay, okay!”

Lance whimpered slightly as he did what he was asked, wincing when the air hit his bare arms. There were clumps of ice stuck on his skin, snowflake patterns etched into the layer of frost that covered the rest. He would probably find it beautiful, if it weren’t for the fact that his arms felt like they had frostbite.

Hunk limped over as quickly as he could, huffing with what Lance could tell was agitation. Leaves started to form and collect around him as he walked closer, a sudden gust of wind whipping the leaves around him until he was completely covered. Just as quickly as they formed, they evaporated, Hunk no long a bear. He still limped as he made his way over, plopping down beside him with a hiss. He never looked away from the others though, still tense and on alert. Lance grimaced at how many wounds the other had, knowing that there were more under his clothes.

A glow coming from Adam’s hands caught his attention again, bits of light floating upwards like fireflies. He brought it over and slowly poured the light over his arms, Lance immediately feeling the warmth seep deep into his sink, ice melting off instantly. His shivering subsided, his eyes slipping closed as he let Adam’s magic do it’s thing.

“My own personal heater.” He joked, hearing Adam snort.

“Lucky me.” He heard, and he hummed in response.

“So what do we do with them?” Hunk asked, Lance opening his eyes to see the wolf staring back. In fact the panther was staring at them too, the two of them watching with wide eyes. It was weird to say the least.

“They’re shapeshifters. Or at least I think they are” Lance stated, the tension only growing when he said that.

Once his arms were fully healed, he put his jacket back on, still feeling the chill of his magic pulsing within him. He could feel something push at the magic that kept the water frozen, feeling like it was a nudge or a scratch that he couldn’t reach. He frowned, unsure what he was feeling. It wasn’t until he looked back to the shifters did he realize what he had done unintentionally. They looked confused, focused on some unseen force before padding around impatiently, tails flicking with frustration.

“I’m going to let them go-”

“Lance, no!”

“Just trust me.” He quickly said.

“We trust you Lance. But we don’t trust them. How do we know they won’t attack us once they’re free?” Adam asked, and he could understand his concern. But he didn’t feel like there was a need for it.

“Because if the wolf wanted to hurt or kill me, they would have done it before Hunk got here. There was plenty of time for it. We can’t get answers if we don’t talk to them. And until I drop my magic, they won’t be able to shift back, and Hunk you are in no condition to be switching back and forth to play translator.” He reasoned.

It was silent for a few minutes before Hunk sighed.

“Okay.”

He grinned, a wave of determination pushing him to climb to his feet. He ignored the way his legs felt like jello, figuring that they all had enough to worry about as he walked up to the ice. He slowly took a deep breath, looking to the panther and the wolf for a second. They looked antsy as they padded closer, and instead of scaring him, it sparked a jolt of excitement.

A shiver ran up his spine.

“Okay, before I let you out, just know that I could have frozen you solid and left you like those cavemen you seen in cartoons. So be nice or I’ll actually do that.” He warned, his tone light, but he was also serious.

He took a deep breath before pressing his hand against the ice, his stomach doing a flip as he felt part of his magic return to him. He felt less cold as he changed the ice back to water, returning it back to where it belonged. His legs didn’t feel like they would give out under him anymore, the chill in his chest dwindling away.

“Okay. You guys should be able to turn back now.” He said, looking back to the shapeshifters. They both looked to one another, and he quickly looked away to give them their privacy. With Hunk, it was fine, but for them, it almost felt too intimate to watch. He turned towards Hunk and Adam to give them a reassuring smile, wanting to reiterate that things were fine.

“Lance.” It was just above a whisper, and he noticed that it didn’t seem to come from either of his friends. The voice… sounded so familiar, but there was something else that made it the opposite. It was deeper, rougher than what he remembered, trying to place it to a face, to a person. He knew that voice.

“Lance.” This time his name was said louder, sounding almost desperate and pained.

Time felt like it had slowed as he turned towards him, his breath caught in his throat as locked eyes with the same gray ones he’d seen earlier. Only this time he recognized them, recognized the person who was staring at him as if he was a ghost. Maybe he was? Maybe he was actually dead and this was just his version of heaven or hell or whatever you’d like to call it. The last two years had flown by, and maybe the numbness that filled his chest was maybe his spirit drifting between existence and the afterlife. But it couldn’t have been that. No.

Because the pain that was blossoming in his chest felt very real. It hurt. As did the sob that ripped through his throat.

“Keith?”

...

A/N: Strong and protective Hunk is a blessing and you can try to rip that from my cold dead hands. My boy can fight!Please comment and let me know what you think!

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whatwashernameagain · 5 years ago

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Keep him safe - Chapter 27

You can read the previous Chapters here: Ch 1, Ch 5, Ch 10, Ch 15, Ch 20, Ch 25, Previous Chapter, Ao3 Link, Lo’s, Pat’s and Virgil’s aesthetics, Fantasy AU You are Magical, I’m dying to be with you

Pairings: Logan/Patton, Roman/Virgil

Words: 5.708

Warnings: wrestling and restraining, knifes, mild violence

Summary: Detective Logan Sanders and his best friend and dorky partner Roman Prince have made a dear friend in the lovely pattisier Patton. Logan however feels a lot more than friendship for the sweet man, even though he knows he cannot possibly have him. Their routine is broken abruptly when Logan finds bruises on Patton’s fair skin and slender wrists he could hardly have received from his costumary clumsiness. Meanwhile his partner Roman has his own demon to fight, which comes in the form of a little delinquent who seemed to have been pulled into a street gang quite against his will. Roman is determined to help the strange young man. It would be so much easier though if he just stopped hissing at him!

Notes: This is just a little feelsy chapter to show how Ro and Virgil handled Patton’s situation. More will follow soon.

Special thanks to @poisonedapples for helping with the idea of this chapter and to all of you who had suggestions or wishes. I love hearing your opinions. And of course, my betas have helped me every step of the way! @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 and @hanramz-the-fander you two are my heroes.

Chapter 27

The day Patton had been brought home to them had been a difficult one. Even if his arrival in itself had been a joyous occasion, his state had not been.

Virgil recalled having had a bad feeling from the moment first Patton and then Logan had shortly after hurriedly left the cafe. He knew he worried too much and that on one liked to be controlled or followed around by an overly attached, needy ex-gang member, especially not Patton who needed their respect now more than anyone. Trying to be helpful and to trust Logan, he’d locked the cafe up with his colleagues and taken the pets home. He had also called Roman to see if his partner had returned.

Unable to provide more information or reach Logan, Roman had given Virgil and the animals a lift to the flat. His deep voice had been reassuring while his big hands had closed around the steering wheel firmly, safely taking them home. The youngest member of their household had tried to listen. Logan had gone after Patton, so how bad could things really be? He’d never let the patissier down. Clinging to the feeling Logan’s calm protection still gave Virgil, he hoisted the fat raccoon clutching and grooming a chirping kitten higher in his arms and pressed his cheek to the cool rat riding on his shoulder. It nuzzled him.

“Voice-mail.” Roman muttered upon trying his partner’s phone after hanging up his fashionable wine-colored coat, going for an unconcerned tone and missing narrowly. He was a good actor, marvelous even with his brave smiles and honey-smooth voice, but Virgil’s dark eyes, used to watching men’s smiles for hidden agendas, watched closely and missed nothing. Though it caused him to juggle the too many pets in his arms a bit and hold a hissing Cat upside down for a few seconds, he managed to extract the kitten and settle it against the broad chest with a hopefully indifferent look. Roman’s expression was as warm as sunshine on dark wood as he closed his hands over the small animal. It kneaded his nice shirt with a rumpled purr. The tall detective mourned the loss of his lovely dark blue silk shirt with the tiny red rose pattern and resigned himself to adding another article of clothing to the growing pile in the wicker basket between the sofa and the desk. Logan’s indigo cashmere sweater as well as his oxford-blue dress pants had already found an undignified ending in there. Cat, insulted by being held upside down, made its way there now and buried itself in several hundred dollars worth of high thread count.

“How about this dashing prince puts on some water to make us a delightful chocolate chai-latte? Us hard working all-American men deserve sugar!” He exclaimed, hoping to tempt a smile out of Virgil. He knew the young barista was worried and might need some space, but sometimes he just didn’t deal well with the oppressive silence creeping into the nooks and crannies of the flat when no one interacted with him. He needed people to pay attention to him, to smile at him. Not because he thought he deserved to be looked at by everybody all the time, but because the familiar, heavy feeling that had followed on his heels as an inadequate, ignored child tiptoeing though echoing, too large rooms made itself known the moment Virgil turned away from him. He knew he wasn’t trying to hurt him, he was just anxious and probably suffering, but Roman couldn’t help feeling pushed away and lonely, like a child that just wasn’t enough once again. It was his fault. He had failed at cheering Virgil up because he wasn’t finding the right words, doing the right things. He felt unloved and lost suddenly.

Shaking his head, he squared his broad shoulders and put on a beaming smile. The kitten stretched up on wobbly hind-legs to lick his chin. It would be alright, a prince would not dwell on gloomy thoughts, he had water to boil and sunshine to spread.

Both stilled as the sound of a key being slotted in the front door announced the return of Logan. Neither voiced their hope, but both men wished for Patton’s smiling presence to follow the detective into the corridor, ready to beam at them and spend a cheerful and comforting evening on the couch or the now sun-bathed balcony, throwing furtive, pining looks at Logan when he looked away while receiving the same looks in return.

The image of a bright, smiling Patton clashed so hard with reality, it left both men frozen with uncomprehending expressions for a long moment. Logan was cradling a small, crumbled body in his arms, hiding him almost entirely in a pale blanket. There was blood in his hair, crusted on the side of his face which was swelling from the impact of a truly terribly anger.

The look on Logan’s face as he spotted them, lost and hurting and fearful, told them all they needed to know. Before either of them could force their feet to move, the door fell closed behind the detective with an audible click. Patton flinched hard in the arms that held him so safely, utterly silent despite his shock. He blinked his tearful eyes open and spotted Roman and Virgil on the other side of the room, two of the people that loved him more than anything. With a strangled, shameful whimper, he hid his face in Logan’s neck, wordlessly pleading with him to hide his bruised face. The detective looked as if he’d been slapped.

Virgil and Roman were left behind in the silence of the living-room that felt so loud, it seemed to press on them from all sides.

Tears filled Roman’s pretty, green eyes. He clasped a hand over his mouth, trying to stifle the sounds that wanted to escape. His beloved, sweet, innocent Patton. The young detective squeezes his eyes shut and tried to breathe through the pain. Allowing the bedroom door to close quietly behind Logan and separate them from his sweetest friend felt like it cut him off from everyone he wanted to be close to.

A movement, nothing more than a misplaced current of air touched by a silent creature, made him open his eyes. Virgil hat slunk into the kitchen like a shadow. Fearing his poor wildcat’s reaction, Roman settled the kitten in the basket on top of gray fur peeking out, turning just in time to see the younger man reach the counter on the opposite wall.

Virgil’s mind had filled with loudly rushing, deafening static, drowning out all other thoughts, all rational inhibitions. He prowled into the kitchen, vision red with rage, trembling with it, and grabbed a knife. He was back in his worst days, filled with feral, uncontrolled anger.

Men.

They took and hurt and destroyed everything pure and he wanted to cut through their restraining hands and free Patton from his selfish, groping hands forever. He would not allow him to use his friend again, to beat and choke and degrade him and leave nothing but a cold, worthless hull of a person.

Not Patton.

The metal was cold in his hands, lifeless just like he would be when Virgil was done.

Roman gasped in shock upon seeing his expression. It, more than the long blade in his pale hand, drove home what Virgil was about to do. Throwing himself in his way, he grasped for words.

“Virgil, please wait! I know you are angry and hurting-”

“He’s fucking hurt and I’m done!” The delinquent snarled at him, nimbly slipping past his larger form like water through Roman’s clumsy fingers.

Panicked, the detective tried to reach for him, succeeding only in having his hand nearly injured by shining metal cutting though the air between them.

“Virgil, you can’t- you can’t just- just kill him! It’s not right, please, you’d be thrown in jail and-”

Roman’s pleading was cut off by a truly arctic voice. Remorseless. He’d never spoken to the gentle man like that.

“You think I’ll let you find the body?” He hissed, wild. Dangerous. His hands were perfectly steady. A primal, old fear settled in Roman’s body. Virgil looked nothing like the elfin creature he’d fallen so naively for the moment he’d laid eyes on him. He looked inhuman, sleek like a beast that was build from flexing muscle wrapped in tar-black fur that stalks through high grass in the twilight. Eyes cold and claws ready to tear into soft flesh.

“Try to arrest me or stay out of my way.” He growled, half turned away from Roman already, who barely managed to find his voice, grasping for words – for the right words.

“You can’t do that to Patton, he wouldn’t want that! Virgil please, he’s here now, he left-”

“He’s never going to get away from him!” The delinquent spat the words at him with cold, harsh certainty, pushing against Roman’s chest so hard the force of the shove and the words knocked the wind out of him.

“Don’t you get it, you naive moron? He’ll always want to protect that fucking piece of shit, he’ll pull him back with his pathetic whimpering and Patton will fall for it because he’s a kind, selfless fool and he will die there and I won’t let that happen.”

The words were spoken with the finality of a sniper steadying his rifle to shoot. Even the slightest tremor of nerves, the smallest hitch in ones breath, the tiniest hint of a merciful heart could mess up the shot, and Virgil displayed none of those weaknesses.

Roman froze in horror.

The moment’s hesitation was enough for the slim form of the deadly little thing that was Virgil to eat through the distance between him and the door with hungry strides.

“You’ll break him.”

The young man paused in the door, leaving nothing but his inky shadow in the apartment while his body was turned outwards, towards a steep descend into revenge and violence, barely hearing the last, desperate effort Roman had to make.

“You know I’m right.” He spoke softly, approaching the armed young man slowly, like a small creature would a predator, knowing about the sharpness of its claws and the fragility of its patience.

“He can survive insults and pain, even abuse, but what you’re about to do with the wish to protect him...”

He was close now, just on the other side of the slim opening in the door Virgil had slipped through like a fox in the night.

“…it will shatter him for good.” He promised with soft voiced certainty.

Finally rounding the wooden, steel enforced door, he spotted the other, his thin form that had all of its former softness beaten and starved out of it, leaving nothing but a toughened body of a young man pushed to his limits, pushed too far by the suffering of what he had loved with the last innocence he had left.

The detective’s hand shot out, closing around the slender wrist and twisting it around, yanking him back inside with unexpected force. Virgil was fast, and feral, but Roman was ready to suffer, he was ready to fight. Shoving the door closed with click of heavy metal interlocking that sounded final, he roughly cornered the angry beast he’d captured against the wood with his body and forced his arm behind his back, the knife glistening cold and metallic between them. Virgil snarled, too angry to scream, pushed too far for words. He clawed against the door Roman pushed his front against, writhing like an electric eel. It was as if the detective felt the shocks bite at his body, painful whips of agony.

He twisted the knife free. It landed on the floor with a quiet clatter.

Roman felt Virgil’s arm protest against the way it was twisted, felt his shoulder blades like sharp-boned wings where he pushed his back against the taller man’s chest, trying to writhe his way out of the firm grip. His arm wrapped around a heaving torso. He buried his face in the pale neck and held on, in more pain from the brutal way the limb between them was forced up at an unnatural angle by the attempts to escape than Virgil.

The former gang member shook and jerked in his grip, a desperate predator choking in a net. His sob was an animal-like sound, like the pain had overwhelmed all humanity and left only a thing running on instinct alone. Roman released the wrist in his grip and turned the restraining hold into a hug, sinking to the floor and folding around the mangled little body.

His chest hurt with regret.

Crumbled on the ground and too tired to fight anymore, the knowledge of the mistake he had been about to make dawned on Virgil with cold, sudden clarity.

Roman was right. He was right. Patton would be shattered by that monster’s death. Virgil knew he was still trapped by him, by his lies, his demands, the things he had him believe – they were spun around Patton like an invisible spider’s web. Inescapable. And still, what he had been about to do would have damned the man he cared so much about more than anything Trevor could have selfishly done to him. He would blame himself and he would- he would-

Virgil could hardly imagine the suffering he would have caused. He could not believe how far he’d sunk.

He folded into himself on the shiny hardwood floor, staring at the hands he hardly recognized.

Defeated.

“I didn’t used to be like this.” He muttered tonelessly.

“Tell me about him, then. About the old Virgil.” Roman asked gently, daring to run a hand over his slender arm.

How was he supposed to answer this request, when he could barely remember him?

Closing his tired eyes, he held on to Roman’s question, following his wishes lest his traitorous, broken mind came up with more destructive ideas. He could not trust himself anymore.

Young Virgil Rain.

“He… he used to care about everything. So many things interested him, he needed to… to find out how things worked, I guess. It was all so fascinating to him, so full of potential. He had so many things to build, to fix. He thought he could fix the whole fucking world. He was naive. Had no idea about how dark it is out there. How little he could do. How fucking powerless he would become.” Virgil muttered, half there and half far away.

“Hey, none of that, my dear.” Roman chided him softly, brushing a tentative hand over his cheek.

“Tell me more about his character. About what made him laugh and what he dreamed of.”

Virgil turned his face away from the hand that offered tenderness and forgiveness.

“He was...” He sighed, running a shaking hand over his face. So tired, suddenly. So tired of himself.

“He was passionate about shit. When he wanted something, to perfect a new floor routine for his gymnastic training, start a science project or to learn about quantum mechanics or renewable energy systems he emerged himself until he drowned in it. He was methodical about it, and patient. A fucking idealist. And he was kind. He cared.”

“He sounds lovely.” Roman commented gently. “What would he do now?”

Virgil tried to think about it. His head hurt with the effort it took to cast his mind back so impossibly far, into another person.

“He’d find out what went wrong, locate the problem and make a plan, step by step, to get to the root of the issue. He’d start with the most pressing one and work his way down the list.”

“Then that’s what we’re going to do, you and me, alright?” Roman asked kindly, offering his hand.

“We’ll get your notebook and write down everything we know, everything we need, and every way we and others can help until Logan lets us know what we can do. Are you with me?”

Virgil stared at him for a long moment, his mind utterly blank. Then, slowly, the process Roman suggested began to form in his mind. They’d need a new notebook with plenty of subsections for mental and physical health, documentation for the police, support networks to contact and legal steps and requirements Patton might have in order to stay with them. The cafe needed to be taken care of and he had to call Remy and Emile and get them to help with a therapy plan. And his finances needed sorting. He’d be damned if any financial pressure or demands made him dependent of this piece of shit. Who knew how deeply he’d entangled himself in the organisation of the Pat-isserie? If he had part-ownership or if he’d used it as surety for his fucking business ideas or made Patton stand in for his losses. All of his experiences from doing the paperwork and dealing with the banks for the Scorpions gave him a clear picture of what needed to be done.

He took Roman’s hand.

They made a mind-map of things they needed to deal with - health, therapy, paperwork, housing, long and short term goals. Then they took care of Patton’s immediate needs – cooked tea for Logan to take to him and called his co-workers to close the cafe until further notice and sorted out clothes for him. Virgil called Remy who had him do a breathing exercise over the phone the moment he’d heard him utter the first words and ordered him to drink some water. He and Emile would work something out to support their friend.

The planning calmed Virgil. He got lost in the possibility of doing something good. He felt useful. Now, with some distance between himself and his own actions, he was baffled and ashamed at himself. There was so much Patton needed now, how could he have believed it wouldn’t matter if he got himself locked away for fucking murder? How could he have overlooked that protecting him from harmful influences was not the same as helping him? Especially he, who’d depended so much on the approval of a monster himself, should have known better. It was as if, after all the violence he’d endured, it had become his first response to any problem and he hated it. He hated what he’d become. A stupid, ruthless, dangerous thing. When he’d gotten so utterly lost in helpless rage, there was only one man that had dared to bring back traces of a person he used to be proud of being. Someone who had believed in him.

He looked up from writing down a list of things they’d need to purchase to gaze at Roman. He had settled on the ground next to the desk in his room, surrounded by notes and art supplies and was marking pages in the notebook with colorful washi-tape so they’d find them easily.

His chest felt full as he gazed at the shining, caramel hair pulled up in a messy bun, some of the locks escaping to fall into his face. Roman had saved his life from his own, brutally learned impulses. What did one say to express how much his intervention meant to them?

He stayed silent, intimidated by the depth of his emotions.

Roman looked up, feeling eyes on him, and smiled. Virgil’s breath caught on his thankfulness, his awe, on the sudden tenderness he felt for his selfless, gentle man, for his patience, his forgiveness, his strong hands that had restrained him when he’d needed it and soothed him when he hadn’t deserve it.

He slipped to the floor next to him without consciously choosing to do so, transfixed by the green eyes that still, impossibly, looked at him - after he’d literally tried to murder a man in front of a cop, as if he were innocent.

“You’re the most obnoxiously naive moron I’ve ever met.”

The words escaped him quite without his consent and mortified him the moment he’d said them, especially because he’d spoken them not harshly but with such wonder, such softness. He hid his face in his hands, half expecting Roman to snap at him or finally grow angry at his ungrateful, terrible behavior - or laugh at him.

Instead, he complained in an apparently scandalized tone that was a little too dramatic to be real.

“How dare you, you little… fiend!”

Virgil shrieked in surprise as his side was suddenly tickled. He was a little shocked at the sudden contact but had grown comfortable enough with being touched not to freak out, especially since Roman kept his large body a respectful distance from Virgil’s. Until the barista growled and tackled him.

All of the nervous electricity still thrumming through him, harmless remains of his murderous anger, made him itch for a way to use all that youthful energy vibrating in his veins. His young, lean muscles had hardly exhausted themselves in his brief fight with the detective, leaving him with the primal need to pounce, to roll around and wrestle and burn it all in a way that did not draw blood.

Roman yelped in surprise at suddenly finding himself on his back with the shy creature he’d barely dared touch without ample warning suddenly on top of him. Seeing the wild, playful glint in his dark eyes, he took a deep breath and a leap of faith and pushed back, carefully flipping him over. He was not sure about this decision at all and half expected to be bitten right there and have to live with the shame of having frightened his poor kitten again, however he’d hardly turned them around before Virgil squirmed like a snake and twisted out from under him, delivering a mean little poke to his ribs.

He gasped in surprise, whirling around – and promptly getting the arm supporting his torso pulled out from under him by nimble, mischievous hands. Landing on the fluffy rug with an ‘oof’, he found Virgil climbing on top of him, fluid and graceful like water and looking far too smug.

With a playful growl the young man could feel all the way to his bones, Roman reached around the narrow waist and grabbed him. His smile was so bright it blinded Virgil for a crucial moment, distracting him with how handsome the detective was when he was disheveled and happy and trusting, costing him the moment he needed to slip away.

He was on his back again. Despite the sudden rush of light and giddy feelings, he would not stand for this proud grin above him for even a second! This moron clearly needed reminding who used to be a prized gymnast.

Pulling his legs up between them nimbly, he wrapped his tights around the unsuspecting detective’s neck and pushed him back, making him yelp like a startled puppy and flail like a duck out of water.

Having him trapped between his legs and interlocked ankles was a heady feeling. Virgil was very aware of how powerful Roman was, taller and stronger than him in every way with his broad shoulders, long limbs and his firm built. He allowed himself to look more often now, despite having been caught a few times. Never had his interest been followed by a degrading comment, groping hands or a gaze that undressed him though. Instead, Roman had smiled and preened, even blushed sometimes, and always innocently enjoyed the attention. He’d never seen it as permission to take anything from Virgil. Even now, his hands weren’t rough and careful to be respectful as he tried to wriggle free, with little success. The former delinquent smirked at him gleefully.

He, in turn, seemed to need reminding that Roman regularly trained with Logan.

Flipping his legs over his body and rolling backwards, the detective twisted out of the firm hold of those strong, lithe limbs. His hair was helplessly disheveled and escaping from its bun, yet he was proud to have freed himself from his clever lynx. However, he was rudely denied the chance to gloat as he was tackled again with a fierce war-cry. Laughing joyfully he was helplessly swept up in the much needed distraction, rolling around the floor with Virgil like overexcited children. His thundercloud’s chucking was like music filling up the space between them that had been soaked in mournful silence.

Upon being tickled in retaliation for starting their match, Roman screeched helplessly and flailed to get a hold of those dangerous fingers. He ended up pinning Virgil under his body quite in self defense, panting from laughing so hard.

The younger man stilled for a moment, drawing in deep lungfuls of air, finally exhausted from pushing against this man that might as well be an excited golden retriever happily yapping at him. His wrists were pinned by the man-child straddling his hips to keep them away from his apparently vulnerable sides.

Lying there under a man larger and stronger than him, finally trapped securely, the urge to bite and scratch arose in his chest from sheer habit alone. He wasn’t because he was afraid – he wasn’t. Not while he was seeing Roman above him, awed and careful with green eyes bright with joy. Instead of curling his fingers to draw blood on the large hands restraining his wrists, he relaxed them, knowing he could escape if he choose to. Not only because he was well used to being in this position on his back and knew it was a simple matter of bringing his knee up in a very painful manner, but also because he realized that he had never been in this position quite like this before. He wouldn’t need to fight his way out. A word would suffice.

Despite being towered over, overpowered, Virgil didn’t want Roman to leave just yet. He had gotten beaten because he’d allowed it instead of resorting to the violence he’d hurt the other with so carelessly in many small ways before. He hadn’t hurt him this time though, even if it had caused him to loose their little wresting match and end up restrained by gentle hands he trusted. The defeat he’d accepted readily felt like a victory of the youth he used to be over the man he’d become.

Roman seemed to read some of his feelings on his face, stilling his body to wait for what Virgil wanted from him. He was warm over him, close enough that the tips of his escaped locks brushed Virgil’s cheek. Noticing how little space he’d left him, the detective pushed himself higher, fearful of frightening the usually so distanced creature willingly trapped between his knees. He was amazed at how close he got to be. For Virgil’s sake, he tried to ignore how much he liked this position. He got to keep the lovely being where he could hold and protect him and he wanted to spoil him with all of his tenderness, here in his grasp where nothing bad could touch him.

The movement drew Virgil’s attention to the way his body shifted, strong and attractive and built in a way young, flustered Virgil Raine would have fallen all over himself for in helpless awe. No one his hot had ever played a role in his life back then. This once feeling grateful for not being as innocent as he used to be, the former gang member managed to remain fairly calm despite the warmth and excitement rising in his body, coaxed out by the weight over his hips and the well cared for hands closed around his wrist, pinning them next to his head. He used to have such a weakness for men with strong arms and shoulders broad enough to easily throw him over. The fact that he was beginning to enjoy those qualities again was still a surprise to him, considering just a few months ago he had scrubbed his skin till it bled and had wished to never be toughed by a man ever again.

An uplifting thought came to him. He might not be the person he used to be, but at least got to enjoy having this handsome, overgrown puppy in his life.

Only a slight shift of his thin wrists was enough to make Roman pull his hands back and clamber off of him respectfully.

Virgil accepted the help and let himself be pulled up. Feeling a little unsteady from the sudden momentum, he staggered a bit. It had been a long day. Roman wrapped an arm around him securely, bringing him against his side with the pale hand still clasped in his. Running a soothing thumb over the back, Roman gazed at him patiently, searching his face. His look was oddly intimate.

In the renewed quiet of the flat, the severity of the situation crept back into the forefront of their mind, demanding attention with the sinking feeling it brought with it. Patton had probably been crying and in pain while they’d been rolling around like fucking imbeciles. Shame crawled up Virgil’s neck hotly. He turned his face away.

Roman took a loose hold of his chin before he could escape under his hoody and worry about his mistakes until he felt physically sick. Tilting his head up, he promised gently, “There is nothing wrong with sharing a moment of happiness when the suffering becomes too great to handle, my dear.”

Virgil scoffed at him and poked him in the ribs for good measure (and for calling him ‘my dear’, what the fuck). Roman’s yip made him feel slightly better though.

They returned to the living-room so they could easily be found. The larger room offered less distractions, less safety from the pressing misery and fear though. Patton was just next door, yet he felt a world away. The knowledge that he was too ashamed to allow them to help hurt even more acutely from how very clearly Virgil understood the feeling. Both men were helpless to stop the dark thoughts from creeping in. What had they done wrong to be kept away now? Had they hurt Patton?

Noticing their uneasy, Cat warbled in displeasure and turned her sharp teeth on the leg of the desk next to her basket to alleviate the stress that spread through the tense room. The nice, dark wood bruised immediately under the sharp little teeth. Swearing, Virgil rushed forward and extracted the raccoon with gentle hands. The cool rat sent a disapproving glare in her direction from where it was curled up in its cage.

The marks on the furniture made the barista guilty immediately. Even after all the care the detective had invested, damage done by him or his pet still made him nervous and a little frightened. Keeping his voice soft, he briefly spoke to Cat in the way he only ever addressed his anxious pet. It seemed to sigh in his arms, deflating into a heavy, furry form folding in his embrace.

The silence seemed to fold around everything like a heavy, cottony fog, yet it cut Roman like a knife. Silence was the sound of his childhood and he handled it badly. On bad days it left him sad and lonely even when surrounded by people. He thought it wasn’t doing Virgil any favors either to get lost in his head now, so he looked for a suitable distraction. Anything to fill the quiet distance between them and lighten his poor raven’s broken heart.

His gaze fell on the coffee table where he’d left another island over ever expanding beauty products slowly colonizing Logan’s flat. Yes, that would do nicely.

A few minutes later found the two with the raccoon settled on its back in Virgil’s lap, getting its pointy claws filed and painted in the fetching burgundy Roman had used for his toes. It rumbled contently, ignoring the kitten’s attempt to make it play while getting nail-polish all over its fur. Virgil was unwinding a bit but still found it hard to form words with the memory of his terrible behavior still so fresh in his mind. Roman tried his best to fill the silence with idle chatter, light and pleasant. He wondered where the detective found the strength to try to create such a calm atmosphere when Virgil himself felt ready to crawl under his covers and cry until everything went away.

Roman did not look as calm as he sounded though. His brow was furrowed in worry, his shoulders tense. Even his smooth voice seemed to have lost some of its confidence. Worriedly, Virgil gathered the strength to scoot closer. He had no capacity for speech left in his suddenly tired limbs. Everything felt heavy. He was drained to the bone. Instead, he hesitantly brought their sides together on the sofa and leaned his head on the detective’s shoulder.

Roman’s stream of words died down slowly. The silence that followed seemed to feel less lonely, as if the points of contact to the slender body by his side tethered him to the present, far away from large marble-floored halls he dared only cross on his tiptoes to avoid any unnecessary sounds.

They’d ended the night in the master-bedroom, curled around Patton who smiled at them so bravely. He’d been so strong, so selfless even as he’d flinched away from Roman. The fear on his bruised face had nearly brought the large man to tears. He’d hated himself in that moment, himself and his useless, inadequate body. All he’d wanted was to protect his smallest friend, and he’d only succeeded in hurting him. Irrationally, he’d felt rejected.

Patton had radiated love though, and pulled him in, his body tiny in his arms – and trusting.

Virgil too had silently suffered through his own thoughts. Patton had wrapped him in his arms like he wanted to keep him safe from any pain, yet he had no idea how terribly Virgil had been about to harm him. He didn’t deserve this fatherly kindness. They all wanted to help him, yet he could to nothing for them in return. He should leave. Clearly Logan, who’d wrestled with his temper so often, had the situation under control much better than he did.

Roman’s arm settled around Patton, drawing both the patissier and the ex-criminal against his chest. He was strong and safe and held on to Virgil as if he needed him.

_________________________________________

More exciting things than this will happen next chapter. As always, I’d be happy to hear from you!

ART or IDEAS:

Check out this lovely idea about the way Roman’s story might continue. A lot of smart people had wonderful additions to it!

Next Chapter

#Keep him safe #Sanders Sides #Detective AU

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imaginesfrommetoyou · 5 years ago

Text

things you said [1/12]

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: As you fight to move on from your past, it seems that some parts can never be forgotten. Otherwise known as a slow deconstruction of your relationship with Bucky Barnes.

things you said while we were driving.

The windows are rolled down halfway, the night air billowing in as you drive down the dark and winding road. Bucky sits silently in the passenger seat, flesh arm resting on the door as he looks up at the stars. The radio is as low as it can go without not being able to hear it; the song is slow, melancholy dripping from the voice that echoes through the car. It’s a peaceful kind of night, a type that you only have with each other. Away from the outside world, travelling but for the time being, simply resting in a middle place that is seemingly untouched by reality. There is nothing forced and nothing bad. There is the space between your bodies in the front of the car and the feeling of safety that comes along with it.

“It was sweet, you know,” you speak up. These are the first words spoken in the entirety of the first two hours of the ride, but the silence between the two of you hadn’t been uncomfortable. It was half after one in the morning and the two of you were exhausted after such a long day of gathering intel for a mission.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Bucky replies, voice rough from barely being used. He’s genuinely confused as to what you’re talking about. Sure, the two of you weren’t close, but he had always prided himself on being able to read people. He struggled the most with you out of everyone else on the team; it was what drew him to you.

You chuckle quietly, eyes flashing over to where he has turned to face you before flitting back to the road ahead of you. “You volunteering to come with me so that Steve didn’t have to,” you elaborate. “He’s always doing too much but that doesn’t stop him from caring about everyone so much. I didn’t really need anyone to come with me, it’s my problem… not that I don’t appreciate your help-”

Bucky hides the shy smile that’s forming on his face as he turns back to the window. “Just because it’s something from your past doesn’t mean that it isn’t important to the rest of us.” His voice is so smooth, so full of truth that you can’t help the skip of your heart in your chest. “I’m happy to help, especially since it means that Steve will maybe just rest for a bit.”

“Thanks, Bucky,” you whisper, shifting in your seat as you attempt to stretch your legs a little bit. “And I’d help you… if you ever need anything, I’ll be there. I know we’re barely even friends, but I’d like to be.”

“You wanna be friends?”

“Unless you don’t wanna be-”

“I guess I could use another friend.” You smile brightly, looking at him quickly so he can see your excitement. “Shuri always said that I was too much of a loner.”

“Wonder why she’d ever say that?” You joke. Bucky chuckles at that, watching as you shift again.

“Pull over,” he instructs you. “I’ll drive the rest of the way.”

You shake your head. “You drove us here-”

“I don’t mind, Y/N.”

Slowly, you pull over to the side of the road. Before you can fully stop, Bucky is already unbuckling and reaching for something in the back. He brings his metal hand back as he clutches onto a navy blue blanket before setting it onto the dash.

“Planning on falling asleep?” You joke as the two of you get out of the car to trade spots. You pause in front of the car, headlights making his face completely visible and readable as the two of you stand across from each other.

“Course not, doll,” he replies, a smile tugging at his lips. You’ve never seen him smile this much, never seen him so relaxed. “But you should get some sleep. I’ll wake you up when we get back to the compound.”

He steps around you, briefly placing his hand on your arm so that he can move between you and the car. His touch feels like it ignites a flame that dances across your skin and travels up to your face. Warmth envelops your body as you stand there dumbstruck for a moment, jumping slightly as you hear Bucky open his door. With a shake of your head, you head to the passenger side, opening the door and sliding in before the car takes off once again.

You rest the blanket on top of your lap, arms resting on top of it as you look out the window. Bucky has skipped the last three songs before finally settling on one, leaning back in his seat as he focuses on the road ahead.

“Do you know him?” You ask after a few minutes of silence. “The man I’m going after… I only know him as Castillo. He was… my handler? I guess that’s what I should call him, but he was in charge of the facility. Hydra, of course, was in charge of him.”

Bucky’s grip on the wheel tightens at the mention of the man. Everyone on the Avengers knew little about your past. Your case was kept under a tight seal placed by Fury, something that nobody could get past no matter how hard they tried.

Tony had tried at first, though. He pestered Fury and asked you sneaky questions. You couldn’t give him what he wanted, solid answers and information about everything you had gone through. So you showed him one of your gifts; access to one of your memories. When he had stopped screaming, you gave him a warm hug and left him to reassess if he was ready for everything that came along with your true story.

Natasha was curious, too, and she had said a few times that you looked familiar. Like someone who had lurked in the shadows, a ghost passing through her line of sight occasionally during her time before SHIELD. She asked you about it once only to be met with tight lips and a shake of your head. There was pain in your eyes, and while she didn’t understand what you saw when you looked at her, she knew that she was in no position to be asking for your life story. It was only later when she received a red piece of paper that she understood. Red was her past, and it seemed that it was a part of yours too.

Bucky had felt the same thing when he looked at you. A sense that he had known you a lifetime ago. Your eyes were striking when he first looked at you in D.C. back in 2014. You had been recruited just after the battle of New York, moving to D.C. with Steve as you attempted to find a place in a world that you had been hidden from for so long. You fought at Steve’s side as SHIELD was compromised and the Winter Soldier made an appearance. He saw you as he dragged Steve out of the water. There was a flutter in his chest that made him want to go after you on the spot. You scared him, causing a reaction in him that he had never felt or didn’t remember feeling; he didn’t understand that the sensation had been wiped from him long ago.

You had watched from the trees as he dropped Steve on the ground. He was terrified of you, unsure as to what your intent was as you watched him. He shakily backed away, retreating into the trees on the other side as you remained silent. You reminded him of something, someone that he hadn’t seen in too long. And as he walked away from you, he couldn’t help but want to find out who you were.

And he did. When the fight started between Tony and Steve, you helped to find Bucky. You were always fighting at Steve’s side, and he couldn’t help but to admire that. It seemed that whenever he looked at you, there was a fresh wave of emotions. Mistrust. Comfort. Anger. Sadness. Affection. All of these things that had been buried for so long.

After the fight, when everyone accepted their losses and compromised, reuniting the team and welcoming Bucky, you didn’t acknowledge anything that he was feeling. You had introduced yourself to him formally and created a friendship with him. And he went along with anything that you put in front of him.

“Bucky?” Your voice pulls him from his thoughts.

“Wh-What?” He stammers out, tongue darting out to dampen his chapped lips. His knuckles ache from gripping too tight onto the steering wheel. His eyes dart over to where you’re facing him, concern evident on your face.

“I asked you about Castillo and you zoned out,” you tell him softly. “I’m sorry if that brought you back to a dark place.”

He sighs, hand running over his face as he takes a moment to collect himself. “Yeah, I know who he is,” Bucky says. He can’t tell you that your question didn’t bring him to a dark place, that he instead got sidetracked by his past with you. The feelings that you awakened inside of him that he just couldn’t explain. “I interacted with him a few times. The Red Room.” You flinch at the words. He makes note of that. “My own times in confinement. He was a terrible person… still is.”

“What do you know about him?”

“Not much,” Bucky begins. “He was a different division, specialized in the gifted. But he was cruel. I remember feeling sorry for those he watched over. He was manipulative, frightening, and he always had his own agenda. Hydra was his job, but it wasn’t his mission.”

You remember Castillo as everything Bucky is describing him as. During your time as one of Hydra’s projects, he displayed many horrifying traits. “What do you mean about the mission?”

“He wanted his own empire to rule over. Using the enhanced as puppets, taking whatever he wanted without any consequences. He wanted total control and he was willing to do anything to get it.”

A chill sets into your bones and shakes you from the inside out. Your hand lands on the button for the window, quickly making it go up; Bucky notices the goosebumps on your skin and does the same to the other windows. The music fills the silence between the two of you as you stare out the window.

“I’m going to kill him, you know,” you confide in him. It’s something you’ve told yourself since escaping from Hydra. Ever since Fury saved you from your burning cell, promising you a life that would be your own.

“I’ll be there for you, every step of the way, doll.” There’s a truth in his words that even he doesn’t know the strength of. A part of him that’s buried so deep, threatening to spill out at any moment and revealing the truth about a life he doesn’t know. Because there was a part of him that said those words to you a long time ago, and all he knows now is that there’s a fire in his soul and you’re the one holding the matches in one hand and a bucket of water in the other.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky x reader #bucky imagine #winter solider x reader #winter solider imagine #avengers imagine #marvel imagine #bucky x you #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fanfiction

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sophygurl · 6 years ago

Note

Hi! I was just browsing through my activity and noticed that after I responded to your ask about ships a while back, you reblogged and shared your thoughts about Spuffy. I'm so glad you were able to read my opinions and understand them, even if you didn't agree with them. I just wanted to stop by and ask what your thoughts and feelings are on Spuffy? I'd love to hear your perspective :)

Oh wooooow, you have no idea how happy you just made me! I feel like I talk about spuffy quite a lot but without ever really saying much of anything because inside of me it’s just a lot of (!!!!!>?>>?!!?!>fjhghhf?!?!?!?!!?) YKWM? Like feels central exploding all over the place and it’s really difficult for me to put into coherent words.

But I’ve also been wanting and meaning to write some serious spuffy meta and kinda dissect what it all means to me personally, as a survivor, for some time now. And like. Especially with all of this purity culture stuff coming to a head, it feels like a good time to take the time to try and do it because, yea, shit not only doesn’t have to be pure to be helpful - but sometimes the darker stuff IS the Most helpful.

And I really did appreciate your perspective about the relationship because you talked about the ways in which it did and didn’t work for you without ever shaming anyone for the way it does work for them? And I wish we could all do that more.

So thank you so much for sending me this ask, and asking for my perspective because sometimes all it takes for me to finally settle down and write something I wanna write anyways is to be asked by someone else to do it!

This is absolutely gonna get long so have a read more cut.

For context, let me start by saying that I didn’t watch Buffy when it first aired - it was, mmm, I wanna say about 10-11 years ago when I decided to try it out. And while I was watching it, I was also in the midst of doing some heavy duty therapy work on my PTSD stemming from childhood sexual abuse and then some further traumas in my young adulthood that happened because of poor processing of said abuse. I’m not gonna get into details about my personal traumas except for some specific ways in which they relate to the lens in which I watched and processed the relationship between Buffy and Spike. BUT, due to that lens, there very well may be triggery content in this post.

My experience watching Buffy, in general, started out with me being really unsure what the draw was in season 1 and then slowly getting more involved in the characters and relationships and mythos as the series developed into a more mature and nuanced show. I was really hooked by season five, and season six is my favorite, with seven a close second.

I liked Buffy, the character, okay in the beginning but it wasn’t until she started really going through and processing her traumas that I started to personally connect to her. So season six was like, my jam. She was raw and stripped down to the nerve, and cycling between like outright rage to pure numbness and just lashing out trying desperately to feel and to make sense of her experiences and I was like - yea, Buffy, same, Same. And then in season seven she starts really contextualizing her trauma and using the pain of it to give herself more power and then sharing that power with others and it was just … fuck, I can’t even begin to tell you what that meant to me. In that last episode, I felt her handing me back my OWN power - like I FELT it - it really … anyway. We’ll get there.

And then there was Spike, who I loved right away. I love me some snarky villains. I love me the bad boy who has hidden depths inside of him. I love the villain who doesn’t … really fit the mold of the other villains in-verse. I love the villain who doesn’t mind working with the heroes if it fits his agenda. Basically, Spike was fictional catnip for me right out of the gate.

I adored Spike and Drusilla together for a lot of reasons, but for Spike to develop beyond just Big Bad, he had to fall out of her orbit, so I was okay with that ending.

On the other hand, I was never into Buffy and Angel. Watching the series as an adult, it just felt creepy to me how this old vampire basically stalked a very innocent-seeming to me teen Buffy. Their romance reminded me of girls I knew who fell for older guys when I was in high school where the older guy seemed sort of dangerous and mysterious and I get the draw from Her perspective - but not necessarily his? I don’t know, I just personally never really bought them being truly in love - they were sort of practice relationships for one another? Her as a young teenager, and him as someone just starting to re-learn humanity. I never Disliked them together… I just never shipped it. The idea of them being one another’s One True Love’s was just sorta meh to me.

So when Spike started having his crush on Buffy? I was so ready for that. Because it was so silly at first, right? It was not serious. It was creepy and weird and wrong. But in a way that appealed to me.

How do I explain? I guess, it had to do with all of the reasons that Spike was Not Like All The Other Villains/Vampires. Angel was always different but ONLY because he was cursed with a soul. It was a thing done TO him and when he reverted back to Angelus he was literally a whole different person and did not have any desire to turn back into Angel. When he was Angel, he was all brooding and guilt-ridden and terrified of his other self.

But Spike was always different just because he was different. This didn’t mean he had a soul or a capacity for love or the ability to be a Good Guy. It just meant he worked a little differently than the other vampires. I truly think he loved and was devoted to Dru. I don’t think she was capable of returning that love in the same way.

So, anyway, Spike is back and he’s split with Dru because Dru could just … tell … something was off and Spike was wanting to deny that but then suddenly - crush! Not love, not attraction, not lust, not desire - a freaking schoolboy crush.

But of course it was creepy because hello - soulless vampire who has never had a healthy relationship of any kind in his LIFE. But he starts doing these odd things, like wanting to comfort Buffy when he sees that she’s upset and being willing to take care of Dawn when no one else was available and HE doesn’t get it either, but somehow he’s becoming a slightly more decent person because of this weirdass crush?

IDK, that’s appealing.

And let me clarify. It’s not appealing to me because I see myself in the Good Girl who can make a Bad Boy into a better person. That is never what’s appealed to be about these types of relationships.

In large part because of my abuse, I see different layers of myself in each character.

I went through a large portion of my life pretending very hard to be a Good Girl and then when I finally came out of denial about the abuse realized that was because inside I felt like a very Bad Girl and then as I pursued more recovery realized it’s all a lot more complex than that but really I’ve been more of a Decent Person who felt like a Bad Person trying really hard to be a Good Person. I hope that makes sense.

But the point is. I see myself in both the Good and the Bad characters in these sorts of push-pull love-hate dynamic relationships.

And what I love about spuffy, specifically, is that they’re both … both. Eventually. I’m getting ahead of myself. But yes, Spike suddenly wanting to be decent here and there because of his weird developing feelings for Buffy appealed to me - and especially to part of me that feels Bad. I’m Spike in this scenario, not Buffy.

But I’m also Buffy, being really grossed by this Bad Person’s interest in me. When Buffy throws her money at Spike and says he’s not good enough for her - that’s me hating myself and saying I’m not good enough. But it’s also, strangely, me taking a stand and saying I’m worth better than the ways in which I was treated.

Gods, this whole abuse recovery dichotomy can be so confusing to explain because like. I never abused anyone. But the ugliness I feel inside of myself has to do with what happened to me, and also with what I know people in my family have done to others. So there’s this idea of Badness there. And the idea of there being forgiveness and redemption for that Badness is very very appealing.

And at the same time? There’s this beauty inside of myself that I always thought I was faking but that it turns out - is fucking real and precious and important. And standing up for that broken beautiful part of myself and saying no to being used and abused again is so powerful.

So in that scene? I’m the ugliness in Spike being hated by Buffy but I’m ALSO the powerful beauty in Buffy standing up for herself.

You can maybe see how this all gets even more tangled up the further we go, yea?

So Spike gets chipped and becomes a part of the team - all the while simultaneously reminding them that he’s still a Bad Guy AND slowly becoming a slightly better person because of his interactions with them and his feelings for Buffy. He’s not even close to redeemed, okay, he’s still a villain. He’s just a more and more intriguing villain, an anti-villain, even, eventually.

And then season six. And Buffy comes back. And she’s broken and raw and needing something that her friends cannot give her. She is needing to connect to the darkness inside of herself, and who is waiting there for her?

And so yea, okay, hatesex is very appealing to me just inandofitself. It’s like double the passion and it’s animalistic and there’s something so sexy and gratifying about two people just using one another with equal force, yk?

And Spike and Buffy are physically matched perfectly. She can take all her anger and pain and rage out on him without permanently damaging him. And she’s NEVER been able to let loose like that before. Her first time with Angel was a more tender and sweet moment and then - welp - turns out they can’t do the do. And otherwise she’s been with humans who she’s had to hold back with. There was zero holding back with Spike.

So from Buffy’s perspective, there’s this amazing relief and release and yea, even, empowerment in being able to just freely let herself go in this way.

From Spike’s point of view, it was about more. And here is where I feel for him because, at this point he’s still not really capable of love in the way we talk about it as being something from a soul. He’s chipped but not soul’d. He has strong feelings for Buffy that no vampire (besides cursed-soul Angel) should be able to have. But it’s not … quite … love. It’s passion and it’s care and it’s wanting and it’s even becoming something like friendship. But it’s not love, much as he thinks it is.

But he does Think it is. And he’s thinking it’s the same for her, but she just can’t admit it, yet. The hatesex to him … is just … sex. And he fully believes he’s winning her over. And so her constant rejection of him as a fully human person with a soul and feelings guts him - even as he’s still trying to convince himself that he does love her and she does somehow secretly love him back.

The fact that she keeps using him physically, and also keeps coming to him for emotional support, supports this belief and keeps him from understanding the reality of the situation.

Now, I think I mentioned than when I was watching this for the first time I was in heavy duty therapy mode yea? Well, there was another even heavier duty therapy mode a good tenish years prior when I had first admitted to the abuse I experienced and got really good and fucked up and made some bad personal decisions and here is where some of that comes to play because I saw myself in this scenario - again from both sides.

I am Buffy learning to enjoy the pleasures of my body and sexuality for the first time but also making really bad decisions about who to share that with because I am still so new to processing my trauma.

I am also Spike - longing for something more and better and being told (by myself) that I was not good enough, that I was bad, that I was not a full human person who deserved good things or good relationships.

(There, there, pastme - it does get better)

Back to first-time-Buffy-watching me. And I am enjoying the HECK out of the spuffy sex and I am feeling for poor pining Spike and feeling for Buffy who is hating herself for what she’s doing and also shipping them like WHOA because there is so much about their dynamic that is just sexy and fun and FEELS everywhere.

But I knew Seeing Red was coming, because I did have a few things spoiled for me just by existing in the world for years without having watched the show yet myself. I really didn’t wanna watch it, or the rest of season six. So I got into a spiral of just watching the earlier parts of the season over and over - specifically the musical and through the 3 episodes of heavy spuffy sex. I did a LOT of processing during this time and then eventually girded myself to watch what I knew was coming.

And Seeing Red is awful. Traumatic. Triggering. Terrible. But also, like, gods, did it make sense for where these two characters were at this point in time? I didn’t feel like it was contrived or somehow put in just for the heck of it. It made sense in the narrative. Spike legitimately just did not get it. He did not realize he was attempting rape until … finally … he did.

And the horror of that, the horror of realizing that he almost did that to the ONE person in the world that he has ever cared that much about? Broke him. Sent him off on a magical quest to get his fucking soul back.

No one did that. Even Angel was Cursed with his soul, right? No vampire ever wanted to get their soul back - even had enough non-ensouled feelings to have the ability to want such a thing. Not to mention going through the trials of actually getting it back.

Season seven Spike is such a different beast. He’s messed up from the soul-thing, but I honestly believe Most of his messed-up-ness came from what The First was doing to/through him. Because … gods, okay.

When Spike goes through the flashbacks and recognizes what his trigger is? (Like the show legit uses PTSD terminology here - it was a Trigger) He processes his Own old traumas and he is able to tell Robin basically - fuck it, I know who I am. I know I did terrible things without my soul, but I can’t and won’t beat myself up for that (for example the way Angel does) because it wasn’t entirely my fault and all I can control now is who I am now and what I do now.

Now THAT spoke to me as a trauma survivor. Stop hanging on to all of this so-called badness inside, forgive yourself, and move on. WOW. Fucking powerful.

And what he DOES choose to do is to be there for Buffy in any way she will allow him to.

Ensouled Spike is no longer creeping around her or making weird assumptions about her or trying to Get something From her. Ensouled Spike defends her when others attack. Ensouled Spike holds her all night when she needs it and gives her pep talks and asks what he can do to help and accepts when he can’t help and just stands there quietly willing to do battle With her.

I just … phew… that makes me emotional.

Because, again, I look back at some of those dysfunctional relationships I got into in my early 20′s and like. None of those fuckers would have done anything like that.

And my attraction to the Fictional Bad Boy with a Hidden Heart of Gold was never about expecting any of them to. I was with them, unconsciously or even some cases consciously, on purpose to punish myself or to work out past traumas with or just to Feel Something. I never expected or even necessarily wanted deep love from them.

So, here’s the thing. None of those fuckers would have done anything like that for me. Nor I them.

So Spike slowly gaining his redemption through his willingness to become a better person because of his love of Buffy? Fucking spoke to me.

And Buffy slowly accepting the darker parts of herself through her willingness to let Spike into her orbit because of her feelings for him? Fucking yes.

And when she hands him the - shit it’s been a long time - that medallion meant for a champion? And he doesn’t think he’s worthy, but she says she knows he is. Fuck!!! That is ME accepting ME, okay? All of myself, the good and the bad, the ugly and the beautiful, the messed up and the slowly healing. All of it.

And when he sacrifices himself in the end??? When that’s how she’s finally able to defeat The First? All that power sharing with all of the other women was *chefkiss* but it also took Spike. Spike who stormed on the scene in season two with snark and a twisted sense of love and no desire to ever be a hero? That Spike!? Sacrificing himself and STILL NOT BELIEVING BUFFY LOVES HIM.

Because by then, let’s be clear, she did. Maybe not the same way he loved her, but she did love him. And he doesn’t believe it, can’t believe himself worthy of that love. But he sacrifices himself ANYway?

THAT Spike? Is no longer asking anything in return. He gives all of himself and won’t even accept her statement of love in return. “No, you don’t. But thanks for saying it anyway.” Just AUGJH?!? You know???

That was me … redeeming me … for me….

So anyway.

I just want to add that AS I WAS WRITING THIS OUT, I got another ask in my inbox stating “People who like problematic or villainous characters are apologist for shitty people and should rethink their life because they’re shitty people.”

And this is the exact WRONG time to come for me like this because I just poured out my entire traumatized abuse surviving soul into the internet to explain why watching a problematic villain evolve and learn to do better helped ME to contextualize and process my fucking trauma. So fuck you. People who write anonymous hate without knowing the full story are being shitty and should rethink their actions because they’re shitting on actual REAL LIFE COMPLEX INDIVIDUAL PEOPLE.

The end.

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fullmetalscullyy · 5 years ago

Text

royai week day 1: coincidence

rated: t | words: 3562

read on ao3

“I don’t know, man,” Roy mused. “She made it pretty clear she didn’t want to see me again. I can’t even remember her name.” He’d been drunker than he cared to admit last night. Luckily, he’d suffered no affects from it this morning after downing two glasses of water before falling asleep.

“I know, but I’ve never known you to just give up like that,” Maes commented. As they stepped out into the street and left the busy coffee shop behind, Roy slid his sunglasses off his head and shielded his eyes. It was too hot a day for coffee but after his horrendous night yesterday, he needed the extra fuel to get through the day.

“True, but I always respect a lady’s wishes,” he griped, offended Maes would suggest such a thing. “Besides, it obviously wasn’t meant to be.”

Maes snorted. “Only because you fucked it up.”

“Maes,” Roy warned. He didn’t need this today. He had an important meeting at work today that needed all of his attention. What he didn’t need to think about was Maes’ efforts to try and push Roy and the woman from last night back together.

Roy’s oldest friend lifted his hands in surrender. “I won’t push it anymore. All I ask is that you consider it.” His words were sincere but the eyes behind his glasses glinted in a way Roy didn’t like. Knowing Maes there was always a hidden agenda when trying to set Roy up with someone. The man was married and had a kid on the way. Now that he was happy, Maes suddenly thought it was his life’s mission to ensure all his friends were happily married too.

“I have to go,” Roy announced, avoiding the opportunity for Maes to further preach how good it was to be married and how fantastic it felt to be father. Each to their own, but Roy wasn’t going to pressure some random woman into it especially when apparently, she didn’t even like him. Why waste time on a relationship like that? He’d made a mistake, acted like an asshole, plus, he didn’t even know her. Apparently that wasn’t enough to deter Maes Hughes, love life extraordinaire.

“Think about it, Roy,” Maes pressed, waggling his eyebrows. He laughed as Roy muttered under his breath. “Where’s the harm in that?”

“Fine,” Roy agreed. He could think about it all he wanted. It didn’t mean he would have to act on it.

“Take care of yourself, and good luck with the meeting!” Maes called as Roy begun to walk away. “Don’t fuck it up like you do with everything in your life!” he grinned. Maes crossed the busy road in Central and left Roy to continue his journey alone.

The sweltering sun beat down on Roy as he walked. It was far too hot to work today. His thoughts had already wandered to finishing time, contemplating how he would enjoy the last of the summer evening. He might go for a walk around the park near his house, or he could sit in his garden and soak up the last of the sun and heat while he ate his dinner.

That sounded like a better idea.

The air conditioning of the office building was a welcome change. It caressed over what little bare skin he had on show, cooling him considerably, as soon as he entered through the door. Without another thought and a quick glance behind him, Roy saw another person approaching the door, so he passed through it and held it open for them. A woman murmured her thanks and he nodded with a smile, heading towards the lift on the opposite wall.

Once inside Roy loosened the tie around his neck. His shirt was sticking to his back with sweat but it was too hot to keep his blazer on. Removing it, he loosened the cuffs and rolled up his sleeves. He still had an hour before the meeting. Plenty of time to cool down and make himself presentable again.

“Hey, Roy,” Jean Havoc greeted with a nod and a mock salute. Currently, his colleague was leaning back in his chair, unlit cigarette perched on his lips, feet raised and resting on his desk with his ankles crossed. A balled-up piece of paper flew from his hands and landed in the wastepaper basket. Jean pumped his arm and whoopedin celebration. “That’s four today! I’m already heading for a new record.”

“You know,” Roy ventured, weaving through the desks in their office to his own by the window. “You could do work instead. Just a thought.”

“It’s twelve minutes to nine,” he replied, checking his wristwatch. He too had forgone wearing his blazer and had his shirt sleeves rolled up. “Therefore, I have twelve minutes to get as much scrap paper into that bin from this chair.”

“Wow, Jean, you’re getting really good at telling the time,” Roy stated patronisingly. “Keep that up, buddy, and you’ll be onto analogue watches this time next year!”

“Shut it,” he muttered, face sour. “Anyway, this was a gift from Rebecca. It would be rude not to wear it.”

“Aw,” Roy crooned. “Even your girlfriend is conscious of you having the mental capacity of an eight-year-old.” Their youngest member, Kain Fuery, snickered from his desk, not looking up from whatever he was furiously scribbling down on a piece of paper.

“At least I have a girlfriend,” Jean muttered. Seeing the frown on Roy’s face, Jean’s expression perked up. “Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it,” he winked.

“I can take it just fine,” Roy muttered, glaring at Jean as he snorted, his mind obviously going somewhere far dirtier.

“Boss?” Heymans Breda announced his presence, poking his head through the glass door. He was leaning back, stopping in while passing, with a stack of papers on his hands. “Do you want these in the meeting room?”

“Yeah, that would be great Heymans. Thank you.”

“No problem.” He walked off, stack in his hands, and disappeared down the corridor to their meeting room of the day.

This whole floor was his. His company, Mustang Construction, owned it. It was complete with an office for Roy and his four employees to work in, another empty room which was used as storage space – but had been cleared out for today – a break room, and two meeting rooms. Being in the centre of Central, the space was expensive, but Roy had worked his ass off to start up this company and he’d managed to get it off the ground on his own merit.

This contract they were working on were with a company called Hawkeye and Son. Roy had previously worked with the Hawkeye in question, but word on the street was Berthold had retired and left it so his child, presumably, the son.

Something tickled his mind at the mention of Berthold, but he couldn’t grasp a hold of it… It must not have been that important if he could barely remember.

“Roy, Riza Hawkeye just called saying her team will arrive in about half an hour,” Vato Falman announced, entering through their office door.

“Okay, Vato, tha…”

Riza…Hawkeye…

Oh.

Oh no.

“Roy?” Vato asked, concern on his face. That was probably because he’d just paled considerably. “Are you all right?”

“Uh, yeah,” he quickly recovered, straightening his spine unconsciously. Oh… Whoops. “Thanks, Vato. If they’re on their way, let’s get to work, shall we?”

“Kobe!” Jean called, tossing one more balled up piece of paper as his legs dropped from his desk to the floor. It hit the edge of the basket and fell in.

* * *

RM: Holy shit.

RM: Holy shit dude.

RM: You won’t believe who’s taking this meeting.

Roy was sweating again under his blazer but for an entirely different reason than the heat.

Because, the woman who was spearheading this meeting, and the contract between Roy’s company and her own, was none other Riza Hawkeye, the woman he’d made an incredibly bad impression with last night.

This morning he hadn’t remembered her name but after hearing the name and seeing her face it all came rushing back to him and Roy paled for a second time that morning. It was enough that Jean noticed and asked him if he was all right. Roy had nodded numbly.

The name of the company was Hawkeye and Son, so Roy just assumed it would be a dude. He’d seen the name on the contract – it read R. Hawkeye – but hadn’t put two and two together until he saw Riza and her team exit through the lift outside their glass encased office. Seeing her face made all the pieces fall into place. Vato had left to greet them, as pre-planned, and showed them to the office opposite where they could set up and get themselves organised. Roy had ducked and buried his head in his paperwork, desperately fumbling through his pockets to find his phone.

MH: Who?

Maes replied almost instantly. Obviously, work was slow at his office today if he could reply to Roy’s text right away.

RM: Riza, from last night.

MH: That’s interesting.

Roy could almost hear Maes’ hum of contemplation as he sent that text, completely unconcerned about the fact that he may have fucked up this contract before it even began. Not intentionally, mind you, but this still wasn’t good.

RM: No shit. This is your fault. What do I do?

MH: Hey, at least you’ve remembered her name now. And how is it my fault?

RM: Maes. Focus.

MH: Well now you don’t have to think about anything.

Maes’ snicker entered Roy’s head as he read that text.

MH: Apologise and hope she’s professional enough that she doesn’t allow it to come between you both.

Before Roy could reply, another text came through from his friend.

MH: Or, use the same tactic as last night. Insult her father and assume she’s going to be an asshole like him. Because that worked so well.

RM: You know what? You’re a real cu –

“Mr. Mustang,” Riza announced her greeting. Roy turned off his phone screen as her team began to file into the meeting room. His own team followed behind with their own laptops and notes. Sliding his device into his pocket, Roy shelved his conversation with Maes until a later time. Riza extended her hand and offered it to him. Right. Professional. “It’s a pleasure to be here today to spearhead this contract with your company.”

“Miss Hawkeye,” he greeted pleasantly. “It’s our pleasure to have you,” he replied, switching on his charm as he did with everyone. It didn’t work. It was a minute movement, but Roy noticed the twitch of her eye and the hardness of her stare that lingered just little too long.

Right. She was still pissed.

“Can I get you a coffee?” he asked, offering his version of a peace offering in this environment. “Tea? Water?”

“No, thank you,” she declined. Again, that hard look was back. As if to show just how pissed she was, she took a seat at the table and poured herself a glass of water from the pitcher Kain had put out ten minutes ago.

Roy swallowed.

“I trust you looked over the information I sent over yesterday?”

“Of course,” he replied. Despite his evening being taken up by going out with Maes last night, he knew how important this contract was and had read up on everything before he left for the evening. Not to mention a quick skim over it this morning.

“Excellent. I expect no delays in this meeting, then.”

“Of course not,” Roy nodded, plastering a smile as fake as they come on his face. He didn’t care for the accusation that he was incompetent. That may have come across the previous night, but it was far from the truth. This was one of the most important contracts of his career and he wasn’t going to blow it.

The previous night, Maes had insisted Roy come out to this new bar with him. The atmosphere was good, the drinks were well priced, and both men agreed this would probably become their new haunt. It was well situated – located in the centre of the city but only a two-minute walk from a train station for them both to travel back to the suburbs. They’d gotten a little obnoxious and loud, talking about things they shouldn’t have in such a public place, but Drunk Roy and Drunk Maes were idiots who couldn’t help themselves.

“Yeah, the dad was a bastard so who knows what the kid will be like,” Roy had slurred, tipping towards the bar and landing to lean against it. “Probably a stuck up eighteen-year-old trying to tell me how to do my job!” He’d laughed, and Maes had joined in too.

Someone cleared their throat behind him. Turning, Roy came face to face with one of the most beautiful women he’d ever seen. She wore a simple white blouse tied in the middle with a belt, her black jeans hugging her body so perfectly Roy was almost drooling as he looked down. He wasn’t proud of it, but Drunk Roy really was a bastard. Her blonde hair hung loose, tumbling over her shoulders and dropping down her back. It was incredibly smooth and straight. She was stunning.

“That’s quite a claim,” she stated, taking a seat on a stool as she waited to be served. Roy was mute as he stared – no doubt looking like an idiot (but that was his usual state of being while drunk) – unable to voice a response. “Are you all right?” she asked with a light laugh.

It was the most beautiful sound Roy had ever heard.

“Y – Yes,” he stuttered.

She waited for him to respond, raising an eyebrow, but chuckling when nothing happened. Roy felt his face turning read as Maes guffawed loudly behind him.

“So, whose father is a bastard?” she asked conspiratorially, as if looking to be included in an inside joke. A smirk curled around her features as her voice lowered

Instead of shutting up like he should have, Roy snorted and continued his conversation from before. “Someone I used to work with. Total prick. I hated him.”

“What was his name?” the woman asked, offering him a sweet smile that he was powerless to resist. Maes protested from behind Roy, stating “I’m still here, Roy”, but he waved him off.

He should have shut his big mouth.

“Berthold Hawkeye,” he revealed, face twisting in distaste. “I’ve got to work with his kid soon, unfortunately, so I can only hope he’s an improvement!” Roy laughed loudly.

“My name is Riza,” she offered with a smile. Roy couldn’t tell because he was too drunk, but her smile tight and strained, as she offered Roy her hand to shake.

“Roy Mustang,” he smirked, lifting her hand to his lips to kiss the back of it.

“If you’ll excuse me, Roy, I need to get back to my friend,” she excused, retracting her hand forcefully and lifting two drinks off the bar.

“Here, let me help you,” he offered quickly, almost falling over in his haste.

“No, I’ll be fine, thank you,” she stated. “After all, you don’t want to work with Berthold Hawkeye’s kid.”

Roy stopped, thoroughly confused. “What?” he asked stupidly.

“Riza Hawkeye,” she smiled sweetly. “Nice to meet you.” The smile was still present but there was a rage in her eyes.

“Oh… Shit.”

Riza hummed in agreement. She turned and walked away, leaving Roy feeling like a fool. He’d followed her, trying to apologise, but he was drunk and Riza wasn’t interested.

“Good night, Mr. Mustang.” Her tone was cordial, but her expression was anything but as she sat down at a table next to a brunette. “I’ll be seeing you tomorrow.”

Shit.

What a coincidence it was that the woman he’d wronged last night – unintentionally – was actually going to be his business partner for – hopefully – years to come.

He had some making up to do.

Unintentionally or not, he’d been rude to her and she deserved an apology, regardless of what professional deal would come between them.

* * *

The day was successful, thank god. Roy had spent the whole of the meeting rattling off offers for Hawkeye and Son and proposing his plans to Miss Hawkeye. She seemed pleased with what she’d heard and by two o’clock, they’d come to an agreement and signed the contract between the two companies.

Roy could finally relax. And, stop sweating under her gaze. He’d caught a whiff of himself and during their lunch break he’d dashed to the toilet to apply more deodorant.

“Miss Hawkeye?” he called, exiting his office as he saw her team packing up to leave. She was the only one left in the office they’d been assigned for the day, her team already waiting on the lift in the hallway. “May I speak with you for a minute?” he asked, poking his head through the door.

“Of course,” she replied, not looking up from packing up her laptop. Roy closed the door behind him quietly, approaching her desk but keeping a respectful distance.

“I would like to apologise for my actions last night.” Riza finally looked up, raising an eyebrow. “I, uh, was drunk, and Drunk Roy is an idiot. Just ask the rest my team in there.” An amused look passed over her face before returning to sliding her laptop in its case. “I was out of line and making stupid assumptions. I apologise.”

Riza straightened, regarding him for a second. “You know, I remember seeing you working with my father.” Roy perked up at that, not expecting that response. “He used to take me to the sites with him. I wasn’t allowed to stay in the house by myself when I wasn’t at school.”

Roy did the mental maths. He’d started working with Berthold as an apprenticeship, when he was eighteen right through to when he was twenty-two. That had almost been ten years ago. Come to think about it, he did remember seeing a teenager sitting in one of the portacabins, cooped up all day, with Roy thinking how boring it must be for her.

“He was very strict,” she continued, volume of her voice lowering, gaze dropping to the table beside her. “And like you, I didn’t like him either.”

Roy swallowed again. He hadn’t meant to drag up painful memories, or make the conversation take this kind of turn. However, gauging by the look on her face, Riza needed to vent this out.

“It’s nice to meet someone who knew just how bad he was,” she added, expression holding a hint of relief.

“I’m sorry?” Roy asked for clarification because he didn’t think the man’s own daughter would come out with something like that.

“Everyone always sings his praises, tells me how great a man he was, but he wasn’t. I smile and nod because I’m “too nice” to tell them otherwise. At least, that’s what my friend says.” One side of Riza’s mouth quirked up.

“Uh, yeah, I…”

“It’s all right, Mr. Mustang –”

“Please, it’s Roy. If we’re working together now, I’d prefer to go by first names. Only if that’s all right with you,” he added quickly.

“Of course, it is,” she smiled. “It’s all right, Roy. I know how bad he was, believe me.” The haunted look in her eye told Roy it was more than him just being a strict parent and he felt dread pool in his stomach. “Anyway,” she added, taking a deep breath and exhaling in a rush. “I wasn’t happy because you’d already judged me on my father’s reputation, and not my own merit. Since taking over I’ve managed to turn this company around, which you stated you’d noticed over the years, and yet you still judged me.

“I apologise,” he interjected, feeling guilty, because he had judged her unfairly.

“Plus, I think you’ve suffered enough today, lying in wait to see if I would punish you for it.”

Roy found himself amused at the mischievous glint in her eye. He chuckled. “Yes, I think I have.”

“I’m a professional, Roy, and I need this contract just like you do. I wouldn’t have jeopardised it because of some dumb comment some drunk guy made in a bar last night. I thought you might have had a better head on your shoulders than that,” she winked, teasing him.

“Thank you, I appreciate that.” His thanks were sincere and as Riza smiled at him, he felt his stomach flutter.

“What a coincidence it is, that we would meet each other again after all this time, and it would be me who was heading a contract with your company.”

Roy chuckled quietly, holding the door open for Riza. “I would’ve loved to see the look on the old man’s face when he found out you were working with me, his “good-for-nothing” apprentice.”

“Oh, it was a picture,” Riza replied, gaze sliding across to his with an amused smile. “Would you hold it against me if I said I picked your company out of spite?” she joked, the pair of them laughing together, sharing an inside joke.

Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad like Roy thought they would be, working with Hawkeye and Son. He was excited to see where this new relationship would take them.

#royai #royaiweek19 #royai fanfic #royai fic #emma writes

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clean-bands-dirty-stories · 6 years ago

Text

Birds ~ Stan Uris (Part 4)

Word Count: 2364

Anon: Pidge

Warnings: Basically Stan gets majorly pissed and takes it out on the reader so um... yelling. insulting. cussing. aggression. onesided arguing. Just a lot of hate and hurt and emotion and ANGST!!

MASTERLIST

I just wanna watch the birds up there; track the migratory patterns that they flow. I wanna watch them from my chair with my binoculars, my latte, and my phone.

Stan had just had a really bad day.

He'd stayed up late last night to catch up on homework because he'd had his usual homework time wasted by his dad, who had spent two hours half lecturing and half just screaming at Stan about the B and a C he'd got in English and Government. Stan had the classes with Y/n and spent most of it thinking about or talking to them. The classes were boring and he was having a hard time keeping up anyway, especially when the teachers were so dumb. His English teacher, despite what they were supposed to be teaching, kept making grammatical errors on the board and it fully erasing pen marks and would only yell at him if he pointed it out. In Government, the teacher had hidden agendas and was trying to teach the kids in the class who to vote for instead of teaching them facts about what happened and about who was who. It pissed Stan off so much that not even Y/n could calm him down.

It REALLY hadn't been helping that recently he just hadn't been able to get Y/n out of his head, especially because they had missed the last hang out for birdwatching because their parents were taking them to the dentist for their annual checkup. Y/n had tried to work around it but their parents had made it a hard no. Y/n had explained the whole thing after lunch the previous day and Stan had been in a bad mood ever since. Put on top of that the getting yelled at ad his slipping grades and his frustrations in class...

Maybe it would even be safe to say that it had been a bad week. A bad few weeks.

Otherwise, Stan would have NEVER reacted like this.

He wasn't or to lose his temper when it included his friends other than when it was Richie. Even then, it was usually playful or him goading Richie on or just being generally sarcastic. He didn't hate Richie and he tried as much as possible not to give off anything that would suggest he did. Richie would take it to heart and believe that Stan hated him for months before anyone could convince him otherwise.

With Y/n, that chance of being angry dropped even more. It dropped to zero, actually. Or he would have thought since they made him so warm and comfortable and happy. Not today though. Today they made him go from irritated and bothered to full-on murderous.

Stan was trying to keep his mouth shut, but he was hypersensitive to all the little ticks they had. Pulling the grass, biting their lips, bouncing their leg, tapping their foot. How could he have ever thought they were quiet? Their hair was messy, just out of place from the way they'd styled it when they'd woken up. Their shirt was wrinkly, just a little, and it made Stan want to strangle them. They didn't sit up straight and the small clicking noises they were making with their tongue - even though their mouth was closed, muffling it - was setting Stan on edge even more.

Then they SPOKE.

The skies had been completely clear. Y/n had dug out a sandwich as lunch neared and Stan was refusing to move, eyes on the sky and body rigid with raging anger. Y/n held out her hand and he looked over for a second. "I brought you sandwich today!" Y/n announced with a smile that shouldn't have been there. Stan was upset and the birds weren't coming and they should NOT have been smiling. Instead of answering them, he simply returned his attention to the sky. Sensing he was upset, Y/n didn't push it again, shrugging it off and eating the sandwich themself. As they ate, they pushed the food into their cheek and quietly wondered aloud, "I wonder where they are today..." That drove Stan even more crazy. They were talking with their fucking mouth full what the hell?! REALLY?! After a second, Y/n pulled out a little twist cap bottle of juice. "Do you want water or juice today?" They asked Stan, whose jaw was now clenched so hard that pain flared through his cheek, making him flinch. When he still didn't answer, Y/n frowned. "Stan are you okay? You seem really upset and I-"

Stan finally snapped. Smacking Y/n's hand out of the air as they reached for him, he pushed to his feet and turned sharply towards Y/n with wide, wrathful eyes. "Just. Shut. UP!" He screamed. Y/n's eyes went wide and they recoiled, lips parting in shock. "How stupid ARE YOU? Can't you see that this isn't going to work out? Did you really have to go and ruin the ONLY thing I have left? GOD, Y/n, I knew you were nice and oblivious and I'm sure you want to be friends with all of us but not everyone likes you and this is MY space. This is my peace and quiet away from Bill's bossiness and Richie's spazziness and Eddie's hovering and Ben's poeticness and Mike's... Mike's..." He shook his head. "Mike! And you! This is my time to be alone int he quiet and watch the fucking goddamn birds- are you so separate to not be alone and have everyone like you that you can't just leave me ALONE?" He huffed, running a hand through his air and trying to calm down as he breathed deeply. "Just... leave me alone." He turned away, swallowing hard.

What he doesn't see is Y/n watch him, their heart shattering into a million pieces because they had gotten their hopes up. A tear and then two and then three fell down their face and Y/n stood shakily, wiping them away hurriedly. "I'm sorry," they whispered, their voice cracking and shaking with so emotion that Stan might as well have been slapped he was so suddenly awakened and aware of what he had just said and who he had just said it to. Y/n turned around, grabbing the handle of their icebox and taking it with them as they walked away, head on their feet as they watched their steps, trying not to trip as their vision was blurred by tears.

Stan turned around, eyes wide as he watched Y/n go. He felt sick to his stomach, but just stood and watched Y/n leave the park, put their icebox in their trunk before getting in their car and driving away. He had no idea how to sort his emotions or what to say to possibly make it all okay so he just watched, horrified and slowly filling with the most intense self-loathing he'd ever felt as Y/n never looked back. Not even once.

Trying to spot a lark in the park, parked in nature all alone...

Stan was nervous even before the time marked Y/n late but now that it's almost lunch and they still haven't come, Stan is about to explode. The last while they'd been busy with school so they hadn't seen each other at all, which had left Stan with no opportunities to make up with Y/n or even see where they stood as of now. He hoped with everything he had that Y/n would show, but he was doubting they would before it was obvious that they weren't.

He didn't even wait for lunch before he goes home.

That night he had a dream.

Stan didn’t know if it was sunlight or inside, artificial light, but Y/n made it look good as they smiled, glittering and glowing next to him. Their smile was brilliant and their body fit perfectly against his. He couldn’t look away or stop smiling, his insides warm and soft. He couldn’t determine if he was relaxed or if his heart and stomach and muscles were all twisted up with intense emotion and his heart raced and rammed so hard against his ribs he wondered if his bones would break and it would burst out, bloody and beating and demanding her to hold and cherish it.

They were talking, but he couldn’t hear the words they spoke. Just saw the way their curved lips formed words, hands moving to illustrate whatever they were sharing, eyes focused at the whatever was above them, be a sky or ceiling- Stan didn’t care. He was too focused on their proximity and warmth and how absolutely... pretty they looked. Maybe it wasn’t a fitting description, pretty, but Stan couldn’t think of a more fitting word. The light seemed to bend just to flatter them more, the air around them moving to take Stan’s away and give it all to Y/n. The elements themselves seemed to love Y/n as much as Stan did.

Love them.

“I love you.”

Y/n abruptly stopped, their eyes widening as they looked at Stan slowly. They waited only an extra second, but Stan felt no fear or anxiety. Which was strange, for him. He always felt anxiety. Now, though, as Y/n blinked and a smile slowly grew on their face as the world seemed to become even brighter and warmer, Stan felt nothing but goodness and peace. “I love you too,” Y/n whispered back.

Without even thinking about it, Stan pulled Y/n closer, their noses brushing as his hand cupped Y/n’s face gently, tugging them closer to him with a tenderness he had only when handling injured birds he stumbled upon.

Unlike during his confession, there was no hesitation as he went to kiss them. Y/n responded immediately, leaning forward as eagerly as he was. It was slow and sweet still, both of them grinning at the other’s finally realized feelings. Stan loved Y/n. They loved him back.

Their lips touched and the Earth seemed to shift, as if all the pieces of the universe had finally come together. Everything was right again. Perfectly correct. It was like walking into his room at the end of the day, clean and organized and everything meticulously placed after being at school with his messy friends (especially Richie) and the even messier students, who weren’t taking precautions to appease Stan or because they didn’t have Eddie, who wasn’t OCD like Stan but still desperately appreciated cleanliness.

Y/n leaned back, eyelids heavy as they forced them open. “Stan...” He hummed at his name, following with his eyes as Y/n moved over him, a leg on either side of his hip as they leaned down, pressing their lips together again but this time in a completely different way. Hair brushed skin as Y/n straddled Stan, reaching over to first interlace their fingers and then pull their four hands over their heads, Stan’s elbows bent and Y/n’s holding them up to hover over the boy laying underneath.

Stan could feel Y/n’s smile and he wondered if they had taken as much note of his as he had of theirs.

“You’re so beautiful,” he mumbled, awed by his own loose tongue and the wonderful ease for which he could finally say the things he had always wanted to. His hand came up, the tips of his pointer and middle finger running along Y/n’s temple, tracing their hair line.

Y/n rolled their eyes. “Yeah, okay, Stanley.” Stan frowned at the doubt in their voice and Y/n leaned down, kissing it away until he smiled again. “You aren’t so bad yourself.”

They laughed and then Y/n leaned down again, neither able to get enough of each other. This kiss lingered, though, and suddenly deepened as Y/n turned their head, their lips fitting snugly against Stan’s. Instinct took over as Y/n began to kiss him in a totally knew way, and he kissed her back with a fierceness he did not know he had. The hand that had not been on Y/n’s face now rose to their waist where Stan gripped their hip, pulling their body against his.

The pressure of pressing together made Stans breath catch in his throat and he nearly choked. Y/n reacted without hesitation again and Stan was beginning to realize that maybe the shock that Y/n had initially been caught up in when Stan had first acted was a rarity and from here on out, Stan would have his hands full.

Y/n proved his point true by suddenly rolling their hips, grinding against him. Stan grunted. “D-don’t do that.”

Immediately Y/n stopped, looking up and Stan swallowed another groan as space found its way between them in Y/n’s concern. ��I’m sorry. I don’t want to do anything you don’t want t-“

But Stan had already seen that despite what he’d initially thought because of how suddenly vulnerable he’d unexpectedly been, he very much wanted Y/n in every single way at that moment. He wanted to wake up next to them with morning kisses and breakfast and seeing them in his clothes. He wanted to see them in sweats as they stuffed their face like at lunch, after they hadn’t showered for two days because they’d been frantically busy and life just caught up with them and now they were in Stan’s uncomfortable zone, shoving their face and Stan didn’t recoil- he laughed. He wanted to see them clean, too. Preferably clean as much as possible because if he was going to be with Y/n that meant that he would be interacting with their cleanliness- or lack thereof. He could make allowances though.

Wait what had he been thinking about?

His hand suddenly tightened on Y/n’s waist and Stan blinked. Oh, right. Y/n looked at him with hesitant confusion, hallways between worry and apology. He suddenly jerked them close with both his hands. “I want you,” Stan whispered. “In every way.”

Y/n chuckled. “You’re going to be a handful.” The words were said in the kind of way that Richie would cackle at, all too smoothly responding, ‘Good thing I have two hands.’ But Stan wasn’t Richie and all he could think was:

He had just been thinking that about Y/n.

They went to kiss again, about to delve into the place after just kissing and laughing and heart eyes and onto deeper, more intimate, less innocent territory.

But then Stan woke up.

Tag List: @campcampie

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fandom-imagination-ss · 6 years ago

Text

Requested by sparkle -light : Will you please do an imagine based on the scene between Elijah and gia where he teaches her how to fight and Hayley walks in (2x04), but its Klaus and reader instead and Caroline walks in? thanks!

Authors note : I am so Sorry that this took so long!! I also hope you enjoy it! I’m a huge Klaus and Caroline shipper! And I absolutely LOVE the Mikaelson brothers! Elijah, Klaus and Caroline deserve better! Hopefully you like this imagine!

⚠️ warning: Not really.

Number count: 1889

**********imagine **************** You know Klaus since he showed up in mystic falls. He has always found Caroline to be a beautiful vibrant women. You found Caroline too be a stuck up, perfectionist. But you Knew it was because she doubted herself. So you tried not to let her annoy you. It helped that you weren’t friends with Caroline so you didn’t spend much time with her. Everyone who knows Klaus knows he fancy Caroline since meeting her. When klaus met you. He was attracted too your kindness. Unlike Elena, Caroline, basically everyone connected to the doppelgänger Elena. You didn’t have a twisted agenda. Caroline trying too save her boyfriend from Klaus. (You understood why everyone hated Klaus but you saw thru him. Seeing the real Klaus) You were the only person Klaus could talk to. Without having a hidden agenda. You didn’t want blood, or money or anything all you wanted too do was talk about your passions Art, music , History. And Klaus was intoxicated by your curious mind. And your Kind heart. Everyone tried too convince you too stay away from him. Elena, Caroline, Tyler, Jeremy, Damon, Bonnie, the only one who almost convinced you was Stefan. But he got distracted By Elena and Damon so you were able too leave the conversation.

You Simply saw Klaus as Klaus. A Monster. But redeemable. He’s siblings soon realized you were a good inferences on their baby brother so they fully accepted you into their little family. His siblings Elijah , and Rebecca enjoyed your company. Kol was fascinated by your loyal and gentle heart. Rebecca Enjoyed your innocence and Taste in fashion. Elijah for your Mind and how you were Showing Klaus the world for the first time. when graduation happened. Klaus declared to Caroline that she might of loved Tyler but he intended to be her last love. You overheard and was swooned hearing it. And was stunned seeing how Caroline didn’t take up Klaus offer. Klaus decided for a graduation present he would give Caroline a bunch of money. And Give you a Plane ticket to New Orleans. Klaus offered the world too both Caroline and yourself. She didn’t accept. But you did. You a human girl proved over and over again that Klaus was redeemable. Elijah and Rebecca accepted you as a member of the family. Rebecca shopped with you. Making you gain more confidence. Elijah helped you study for tests at the local collage you attended. You were all a complicated family the happiness was destroyed by accident. Davina and Kol did a spell, trying too get ride of Klaus The spell was suppose to Kill him instantly . But it hit you. Klaus barely shoved blood down your throat before you died. And when you woke up. He didn’t give you a option too other die a human or too be turned. You woke up. And Klaus instantly shoved human blood down your throat. Simply saying “I can’t live without you Y/n. Forgive me.” Three months passed. Your “day time ring” was a beautiful simple Ruby necklace. Klaus said it use to be worn by a beautiful princess who was always surrounded by handsome suitors. Today klaus was back. Since becoming a vampire you changed. Not just physically but mentally. You were still caring and the gentlest soul Klaus ever met. But now your confidence skyrocketed. But your fighting skills? Not so much! Klaus insisted on Training you too fight. You tried convincing Klaus to let Elijah to teach you. Mainly since you figured Elijah would be a kinder more gentle teacher vs Klaus. You almost had him convinced till he got into a heated debate with Caroline who dating Stefan or was trying too? Honestly Caroline love life was almost as complicated as Elena’s love life. But either way Klaus refused to listen too either you or Elijah when you both suggested to let him teach you. So here you are! standing in a closed room. Everyone was out enjoying the bright beautiful day. While Klaus was huffing and puffing annoyed at Caroline, he just returned from Mystic falls where he got into a huge debut with Caroline about Elena. And Stefan. You tried staying out of all topics surrounding Elena. Mainly because you couldn’t find the attraction both Salvator brothers had for her. Or what Matt saw in her. You aren’t close with Caroline or Elena. Bonnie on the other hand? You were great friends with Bonnie!. Either way you aren’t going too have a great practice with Klaus. He was frustrated and you knew this wasn’t going too end up with you being sore. And begging for Elijah too take over.!

Klaus spoke up, snapping you out of your thoughts. Too hear His British charming accent. It always made you lean a bit closer to hear him speak. you loved hearing him talk. When you first became friends with Klaus you got sick. And Klaus read the Hobbit too you. While you rested in bed. So you listened too him whenever possible. Especially now when you here. About too Fight Him. “you are my responsibility, Y/N. There will be hundreds of people who would love too rip you too pieces just because of Me.” Klaus walked around you. Trying to frighten you. It didn’t work. Even when you were human and his vines turned all black around his eyes. You were’t scared of him. Klaus grabbed your shoulder turning you around too face him. “Fighting is rhythm. There is a music , there is a pattern. You have too fight. Or you will die!” You rolled your eyes, pushing his hands off your shoulders, “Why? You can just fight them? Besides who would dare fight me? Everyone is terrified of you!” “exactly. What would happen if the wolves. Capture you too get too me? Or the witches?” Sighing heavily you understood. Klaus can’t protect you from everything. Even those you knew no one would be stupid enough too risk the Rath of Klaus. You simply Nodded your head fast., taking a step back to take a stance saying you were ready. Klaus grinned as you swinger a pouch at him. He easily blocked it. “You have too do it better! Y/N!” Swinging your fist towards your best friend, to only have it caught it with ease. Klaus pinned you against a brick wall. Pressing you against It. Moving your hair from your shoulders. He waited a moment just looking at you till he spoke in a low voice. “Come Now love. You can do better then that.”

Breaking free from his grip. You turned yourself around, too shoved him hard, Klaus took three steps backwards as you charged him. He broke free from your attack. Screaming “ Do better y/n!” You charged again getting him this time. You Pinned Klaus against the same wall he pinned you at. Klaus grinned brightly feeling your hand at his heart. “Good.” Looking up at his eyes. His beautiful enchanting eyes. He grabbed your elbow. “Good. , you did good.. Don’t be afraid to go for the kill.” “I’m not going too rip your heart out!” Klaus grinned reaching up touching your face with his free hand. He’s eyes soften. He smiled softly looking at his favorite being on the entire planet. The sweet girl who has touched every member of his family. Who taught him how too change diapers for Hope. Who has personality helped him stay good. And showed him to change his ways. He vowed too protect you for the rest of your life. A human mortal life. Which was ruined. But now he had too break the sweetness of you.. To help you survive where everyone outside of the house. He and his family had thousands of enemies now he had too teach you too survive. Looking down at your hand right in front of his hand hand. Breathing deeply you couldn’t harm Klaus not in the way he wanted you too. He noticed your hesitation. He sighed moving his hand too your wrist. Looking at you. “You have too.. to Survive.” Shaking your head fast. “Nope.. I can’t-“ moving your hand back he placed it back too his Chest as he reached back placing your hand back too his Chest. “You have too.. our enemies wont take it easy just because your beautiful.” “Klaus.. I can’t-“ “Love.. Do it!” You closed your eyes for a second before you pushed your hand thru his cage. Hearing him groaning loudly you opened your eyes seeing him gasping for air. Until he pulled you into a kiss. Which started you. It made you stop holding his heart as he cupped your face. You pulled back looking at him. Klaus looked at you valuable you couldn’t believe he kissed you. And you couldn’t believe how. Fragile he looked. You never seen him look so valuable. You grabbed his face with both hands pulling him into another kiss. Vampires feel things ten times more then humans. A little crush felt like full blown love. And being in love is incredible. You pulled back. Looking at Klaus ripping his shirt completely off. He grinned flashing that devilish smile. Before pulling you into another kiss. He turned you both around fast so your back was against the wall. As he ripped your shirt off before kissing you back. You smiled into the kiss as he pressed himself close too you. “Klaus?” You both pulled back. Stunned seeing Caroline standing there. Right at the doorway. You quickly tried to close together your ripped apart your shirt too have some Dignity. Also so Caroline doesn’t notice your Black sport bra. Klaus sighed heavily as he spoke “what is it Caroline?” “I need Help. Stefan is missing.” Klaus surprised you. And Caroline with his response “well. I’m a tad busy at the moment Caroline.” Caroline rolled her eyes saying she was serious she needed his help when she noticed you. “Holly Crap! Y/N you’re a vampire?” Nodding your head weakly she shook her head stepping closer too Klaus, “Klaus I need your help please!” Klaus sighed heavily as he spoke, “like always Caroline your timing is horrible!” He turned too face you kissing you. It was a quick kiss but he made sure it was passionate. As he cupped your face, “I’ll find you in a bit. After Caroline and her dramatic life dilemma is done. Then we can finish.” “training or this?” You asked as he grinned ignoring Carolines huffs and Puffs as he kissed you quickly, “Both.” You laughed at that as Klaus escorted Caroline out of the room. You breathed deeply and debated on other going for a 7 mile run too work out your now Frustration or a freezing cold shower!. You decided both.

#klaus mikaelson #klaus mikaelson imagine #elijah mikaelson #elijah mikaelson imagine #tvd #tvd imagines #the vampire daries imagine #the vampire daries #the orignals #the originals imagine #fandom imagine #imagine #requested #sparkle-light #@sparkle-light #imaigne

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randomfandomimagine · 7 years ago

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Sunshine in the Moonlight. Chapter 13: Sunshine

Fandom: Final Fantasy XV

Pairing: Prompto x Alexandria (OC)

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Something I would have to grow accustomed still would be Prompto’s bounciness and fidgety nature. Especially when he was nervous or especially excited, as he demonstrated as we boarded the boat.

We sat together awkwardly, dying to snuggle closer to each other yet battling with ourselves. Should we tell the others and face the embarrassing moment that would proceed due to their comments and smugness on the subject? Or should we keep it a secret and only show our affections in private? In all honestly, I preferred the former option as it would be too insufferable to stay away from him once I finally was with him. I was willing to face the embarrassment, as it wouldn’t last long and after that we would be free to be more affectionate.

I sighed, knowing I was overthinking it. Love shouldn’t be hidden anyway.

“So did you two kiss?” Noctis was suddenly standing in front of us, arms crossed and smirk present.

“Noct!” Both Ignis and I exclaimed in outrage, shocked by his insolent remark.

“Prompto?” He still asked his friend, smiling wider and leaning forward to tease him. The blond flushed bright red and bowed his head down, flustered.

“Ma-maybe? Heh” I noticed how he sneakily met me with the corner of his eye.

“I knew it” Noctis triumphantly threw his arms up in the air. “I told you!”

I gawked at him, wondering if that was what they were ‘arguing’ about on the lighthouse. If Noctis convinced him to tell me and that was the reason why Prompto confessed.

Perhaps they weren’t teasing us because they believed us to be a good couple, but because they were aware of both our feelings and were evilly waiting for us to get together. Patiently watching things develop, amused at how long it was taking us.

“There’s no need to get all shy and stuff” Gladio smirked from his spot as he leaned on the side of the boat. “We were looking forward for you two to get it on, so don’t hold back”

Was family like this, always so obnoxious?

“You are quite the adorable pair” Ignis smiled softly, giving me a meaningful look.

“Iggy…” I complained, hating all that attention.

I glanced at Prompto and had to chuckle at the sight of him. His entire face covered in a bright rose blush as he stared at the ground and awkwardly shuffled his feet.

“What? Not even a kiss on the cheek?” Gladio was having too much fun with the whole situation.

To my surprise, Prompto looked up and stared adoringly at me. My eyebrows shot up in astonishment as he engulfed me in his arms and held me tight against him. I couldn’t even be mad at the adorable gesture, knowing he had been holding back for the entire time we were on the boat. Even if it was merely around ten minutes.

“Can you all stop it?” I was quite positive that I was blushing myself. “I love that Prompto and I are dating now, but you’re embarrassing me! All of you!”

Reluctantly obliging, they all got back to their business. Ignis stood up from the seat behind us to go chat with Gladiolus. Noct wandered around the boat and said something to Cid –as he was there with us, controlling the boat –every once in a while.

Even Prompto let go of me and jumped up to his feet. I couldn’t tell whether he was jittery still or just too happy to contain himself, I just observed him fondly as he fidgeted around the boat. His camera shutter kept clicking as he took pictures of the sea non-stop. By that point, that sound had turned almost as familiar to me as was his own voice.

I leaned back on the seat and closed my eyes, deeply inhaling as I took in the salty scent in the air. I had never traveled by boat –we didn’t get too many chances at it in Lucis –and it was quite a life changing experience.

Someone plopped down next to me all of a sudden, and I didn’t even have to open my eyes to know who it was. I did, however, in order to meet with his wonderful blue eyes.

“Wanna take a picture with me?” He asked me with the most dazzling smile he ever showed me.

“Of course” I scooted closer to him as he pulled out his camera.

He held it up before us and I prepared to smile as he took it. My plan was foiled, though, when I felt his lips on my cheek. As the picture was taken, I knew my face had been captured as one of sheer shock and bashfulness. He would definitely adore that result.

“Prom…!” I complained, turning to him and chuckling.

“S-Sorry! Couldn’t help myself”

My cheeks were starting to hurt, as apparently I couldn’t stop smiling. I blamed Prompto entirely.

Sneakily, Prompto planted another peck on my cheek before running away giggling to himself.

“Pro-Prompto!” I complained again, violently blushing and seething in silence.

He just looked over his shoulder with the most beautiful smile as he fidgeted around the boat, pulling his camera out and taking even more pictures of the extension of the sea that surrounded us.

“Excited to see Lunafreya, Noct?” Gladio asked our friend, who shrugged one shoulder.

“Yeah…” He pretended like he wasn’t eager to meet her again, yet the twinkle in his eyes and the smile that tugged at the corner of his lips said otherwise. “It’s been a while”

“She also carries the ring of the Lucii, which she has been keeping safe all this time” Ignis stated, dedicating him a teasing glance. “Just for you”

“Will… Ravus be there too?” Prompto mumbled, saving his camera and making eye contact with Ignis. “Y’know, since his sister will be and all”

“That’s right” I made a face of displeasure thinking about a possible encounter with Ravus Nox Fleuret. “He attacked you, and apparently he’s working for the Empire”

“That’s what I mean” Prompto nodded, plopping down next to me yet again.

“Let’s hope not” Gladiolus suddenly turned somber, which hinted at an especially troublesome clash during their meeting.

“I do suspect his new power was acquired through dark methods”

“And that Ardyn has something to do with it” His name wouldn’t leave my mouth without a hint of mockery, almost disgust. Yet he somewhat frightened me as well, merely because of his hidden agenda. He had followed us wherever we went and even pretended to be an ally at first. However, his purpose escaped my understanding, which greatly disturbed me. “What are we to do once in Altissia anyhow?”

I had spoken up again just to change the subject. An unpleasant chill went through my spine at the thought of the chancellor’s twisted mind. I wanted to avoid dwelling on that subject.

“Meet Lady Lunafreya, of course” Ignis responded, gesturing with one hand. “And possibly face the Leviathan”

“Can’t wait” Noctis muttered sarcastically, pouting a tad.

“Leviathan?”

“A deity like Titan, Noct’s gotta pass the trails”

Forcing me to take my eyes away from Gladio while he spoke to me so they would land on him instead, Prompto cheerfully lay his head down on my lap. When I stared at him, he frowned and his expression turned hesitant and cautious in fear that I was bothered by his broad desire of maintaining the physical contact. I comforted him by smiling a bit at him.

“Hi” Prompto grinned, looking up at me. I would definitely have to get used to his restlessness, that boy had never been so hyperactive. And I had seen him interact with chocobos.

“Hello” I rested a hand on his hair, too endeared by his precious affection.

“I can explain it to you if you want” He offered kindly. “Tell you all that happened, we’ve got time”

“That we do” Gladio chuckled, diverting his gaze towards the never ending ocean.

“Are you gonna stay like that, though?” Noctis pulled out his phone, smirking again. “Cause then I wanna take a picture”

“We had to go to three different runestones” Prompto deliberately ignored his friend, despite the fact that he jumped with the flash from Noctis’ phone camera.

“Quite an ordeal indeed” Ignis backed him up, albeit with an unnoticeable smile for the photo.

Prompto caught me up in the events that took place while I was in Hammerhead. For the rest of the boat ride, we lingered in that position as we discussed said occurrences, with the help of our friends’ additions and contributions to Prompto’s tale.

Altissia was beautiful beyond words, so elegant with its classy and organized streets as well as calming with the water that surrounded it all.

I felt euphoric as we walked around Altissia, following Noct while he wandered at will. I merely rejoiced in the warm sunlight that gently caressed my skin, in the salt in the air and the wonderful feeling of visiting such a unique place with my best friends, sharing such an incredibly experience.

“Wow, this place really is something!” Prompto voiced my thoughts as well.

“Truly delightful indeed” Ignis agreed, letting his emerald green eyes wander around the city landscape.

“Hey, I heard some people talk about Lunafreya’s wedding dress” Gladio pointed out.

“Ah, yes” Iggy smiled fondly. “The wedding, I nearly forgot about it”

I absently listened to the conversation, too fascinated by everything around me as I had never left Lucis before and Altissia was like a magical land before my eyes. The buildings, the shops, even the people seemed interesting!

“Should we check it out?” Prompto wondered excitedly. “Noct, wanna see the dress?”

“I guess…” The prince shrugged a bit, neutral to the idea.

“You seem shy, Prince Noctis” I needed to take advantage of the situation, as I noticed a hint of blush on his pale cheeks at the mention of the ceremony.

“Cut it out” He frowned as he lay his blue eyes on me.

“Bet he’s dying to see Lady Lunafreya!” Prompto nudged him, even if his friend softly pushed him away.

“He’s not especially engaged in the conversation” Ignis seemed very happy about his silly pun, and it definitely made Prom laugh.

I wondered how Noctis truly felt about Lady Lunafreya. Obviously, he deeply cared about her. They had been friends ever since they were little, when the royal father and son spent some time in her hometown Tenebrae. However, I couldn’t help but to think about what kind of love his heart portrayed. Did he merely love Lady Lunafreya like a sister? Or something more? Were his affections romantic or plainly fraternal? I never really knew, due to spending so much time away from the prince and being stuck in the Council room instead. Yet on those counted occasions that I did catch a glimpse of the two of them being together, I observed a great familiarity among them.

“Maybe you should call the wedding on again” Gladiolus teased him, although it wasn’t such an awful idea.

“Become the symbol of peace, a lovely couple as well” I grinned, although sweetly, glancing at Noctis. The corner of his lips curved up as he gently nudged his fist against my shoulder.

I honestly couldn’t picture Noctis as a groom, actually getting married! Yet the wedding represented a truce, an end to the war between Lucis and Niflheim. Something as beautiful and pure as it was a union between two loving souls was also a promise of peace.

As we walked, we could hear people commenting on the wedding, the dress, Noctis, Lady Lunafreya… It was certainly a common topic, one that brought them together.

We soon arrived to the Vivienne Westwood shop, there where Lady Lunafreya’s wedding dress was displayed for the citizens of Altissia to see.

“Wow” I uttered as we stopped to look at it through the window display.

It was completely white, so long that it reached the ground and with independent sleeves as it was strapless as well. Quite an original and unique dress which, added to Lunafreya’s own beauty, would be quite a sight.

“Everyone looks so happy!” Prompto was amazed by the crowd that gathered around it, filled with glee as they dreamt of such ceremony.

I looked over to Noct, intending to analyze his expression. There was a tiny smile plastered on his lips as he admired the dress with dreamy eyes.

“Surely, the wedding would be a blessing to the world” I squeezed his shoulder as I spoke.

Noctis glanced at me when I did and showed me an amused yet fond expression.

“I say we look to it as soon as we wrap things up” Gladio suggested, in a romantic mood I had never seen him into.

“Lovely idea”

“Yeah! That would be awesome!”

“Sounds good” Noct chuckled as he kept on walking, setting the path as we followed after him. I still admired the streets of Altissia as we did, not having enough of it.

Prompto let out a sigh of content next to me, suddenly taking me by the wrist and yanking me towards him so our sides touched as we walked. He was still a bit hyperactive, apparently.

“Prompto!” I exclaimed in surprise.

“We should like, go on a date or something!” After my reaction, he backed up a little. “You know, if you want? Be alone for a while? This place is so romantic!”

“You’re already on a date!” Noctis exclaimed cheerfully, and although it convinced Prompto, his smirk seemed suspicious to me.

“With all of us” Gladio motioned to the whole group with a movement of his arms.

“You are a lucky man” Ignis teased him as well.

I let out a heartfelt guffaw as I turned to Prompto, who was blushing, flustered by their playfulness.

“I was talking to Alex!”

“’Course you were”

“Whaddaya say, Xanders?” Prompto reminded me of a puppy again as he stared expectantly at me, excited and smiley. I took notice of the fact that said loving nickname popped up whenever he felt especially playful or mildly flirtatious, and I adored such a detail.

“I agree, but you need to calm down” I patted his shoulder kindly. He pouted at my comment, refusing to give up on that energized mood. I resolved to fondly wrinkle my nose at him, to which he grinned before turning to his friends.

“Do you guys mind? It won’t be long, I promise!” Like an actual child asking his parents for permission.

“How would we mind?” Noctis carelessly waved a hand in the air. “We’ve been waiting for you two to get together forever now!”

Prompto slapped his friend’s arm, bothered for such a cheeky comment.

“We will meet in this very spot in around thirty minutes” Ignis calmly glimpsed at his watch before locking eyes with me and then with Prompto.

“Don’t be late, lovebirds” Gladio gave us his blessing by pushing us a little so we would leave already.

“Won’t be!” Prompto began sprinting, forcing me to run after him not to lose him.

I briefly looked over my shoulder to our friends as they walked away from us. Only Noct was glancing back, and he gave me a thumbs up. It made me smile. However, when I looked ahead again I had lost track of Prompto. Such a fidgety boy. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had gotten distracted with something adorable like a puppy or something fun like ice cream. That boy was so precious.

“Prompto?” I called him, walking along to see where he could have gone to. I looked around in an attempt to spot his blond head or his black clothes, yet there was no trace of him anywhere. “Prompto! Prom-”

As I passed a corner, someone held me by the arm and pulled at it so I was cornered against the wall, a body pressed against mine to keep me in place.

“They don’t suspect a thing” There he was, being the huge goofball he always way. I observed him lovingly while he jokingly glanced around us to make sure we weren’t spotted. As tough we were on a secret date mission.

“They know, Prompto, we literally just told them we-“

“Sh!” He shoved an index finger against my lips and another against his own. “You’ll blow our cover!”

As his eyes met with mine, I shook my head and smiled at him. He chuckled happily and shyly averted his gaze due to the intensity of mine. I couldn’t help it, I adored that soft and pure boy so much.

His arms were at either sides of me, hands leaning on the wall behind me as he had softly pushed me into it until my back leaned on it. However, when he realized his posture and his body pressed against mine, he gently distanced himself and let his arms fall back to his sides not to be cornering me. Knowing he was too timid to do something himself and taking advantage that we were alone, I positioned my hands on his face and pulled him towards me, aiming his lips closer to mine.

My eyes closed in delight as we shared a chaste and sweet kiss, loving and gentle. The butterflies I had almost forgotten about erupted in my stomach once more, pulling at my lips again until they curved up in the kiss. I noticed that his hands settled on my hips for a moment, tenderly squeezing as they passionately tried to gather as much of me as they could. However, he let go of me as we gently broke the kiss.

Curiously, I observed him as he pushed a tuft of blond hair away from his eyes and clumsily combed his hair with both hands. His cheeks were flushed so bright that his freckles stood out.

“Alex, If I… I don’t wanna overdo it and… if you ever get annoyed of me being too affectionate or something, I, uh… heh” Prompto tiredly rolled his eyes, almost to himself. “I just… like you a lot and I want to be holding you all the time and-“

“Prom, don’t be silly” I took him by the chin, quick to reassure him. “I’ve wanted to be held by you for a long time, I’m not going to grow fed up of it”

“Really? You too?” His eyes met mine, shining with an eager twinkle. “Ever since I met you, I…”

I remembered our first encounter, right before we left the Crown City. The puppy look on his face, the doe eyes and awed expression, his azure eyes watching me lively. The way in which he was looking at me at the moment was similar, albeit filled with admiration and adoration instead of curiosity.

I understood why I fell for Prompto, but him? We were quite different and my insecurities reminded me that girls like Cindy were so much more alike him. I focused not to read too into it as to not discourage myself with silly and self-conscious thoughts.

Prompto had mentioned several times how I was kind, smart, pretty and wise, sweet as well as some other things. And he genuine believed I was all of those things. It was good enough for me, yet… How did we fall for each other? How did two people so different end up together?

He was bright and warm like the sun, soft, energetic and bubbly. I was somber, stubborn and dull like the moon, often too serious and bland in contrast with him.

Yet Prompto got under my skin with his bright smile and his cute and upbeat personality, with his radiant presence and light of his own. He seemed to be the one to shine the brightest and cast his light upon us during the darkest times. Like the sunshine in the moonlight, like the light that overpowered the darkness, not only for me but for everyone else. Like the sunlight to my moonlight, like the yin to my yang.

I chuckled to myself, amazed by the effect he had on me yet again. I had never been one for romance, yet as soon as he appeared I was struck with all those feelings and emotions and corny ideas.

“What?” He whispered, his mouth still so close to mine that we breathed the same air.

“Nothing” I answered with a smile. “Just surprised that you fell for me on sight, sunshine”

Prompto chuckled heartedly to divert the attention from his blushing.

“Sunshine? Never heard that one before!” His grin was so wide that his eyes closed a little.

“Get used to it” I snuck my arms under his vest to feel his lean figure, and wrapped them around him.

“Great! I love the nickname, heh!” Energetically and eagerly, his arms settled around me too. That was what absolute happiness must feel like. Embracing and being held by the person you love, by your sunshine. A feeling unlike any other.

I pushed my cheek against his collarbone and sighed in content, overwhelmed by a feeling of peace and adoration that made me whole. As we pulled apart at the same time, I briefly pecked him on the lips and held him by the hand to take him with me.

“Shall we venture around Altissia?”

“Heck yeah!” Sweetly intertwining his fingers with mine as our palms were pressed against the other, he began running, taking me with him.

The thirty minutes were due, so we were headed for the spot close to the Vivienne Westwood shop as we had promised our friends. So little time, but we had savored every second of it. Prompto and I had spent a wonderful time, taking pictures and chatting, glancing at whatever products shops sold and buying a few things for each other –although all we bought was matching leather bracelets that Prompto was very excited about and that we put on immediately–and even buying some ice cream.

We walked side by side as we enjoyed the last of our ice cream, sharing a comfortable silence. I didn’t grow tired of being with him, it felt so calming and exciting, so cozy and comfortable. His presence was intoxicating enough not to feel pressured to fill the silence with mindless prattle.

“Can you hold this?” He mumbled out of nowhere, breaking the stillness of the moment.

“Of course” I held my hand up, prepared to take whatever he would give me, guessing it was either his camera or his ice cream. I was astonished when instead, Prompto rested his hand over mine and firmly grasped it. Yet when I tried to meet with his eyes, he shyly looked away.

My lips curved up in fond amusement and I had to lean closer to leave the lightest peck on his cheek. He cutely wrinkled his nose in response to my affection.

“Looks like you two had fun” Gladio’s voice surprised us as we met with them three again.

Grinning widely at the sight of our friends, Prompto hurriedly reciprocated my peck with another one before shoving the remnants of the cone in his mouth and walking over to Noctis.

“Noct!” The blond nudged him repeatedly as he pulled his camera out, without a doubt to show him the pictures we took. I only realized I was lovingly watching him being the adorable and bright goofball he always was when a tattooed arm heavily fell over my shoulders and mischievously shook me.

“Had fun, Alex?” I concealed my smile as soon as his smug voice asked.

“So what if I did?” I shrugged to appear nonchalant and casual.

“Nothing” Gladio insisted. “Not that you’re turning red or anything”

“It is quite endearing that you’re so fond of him” Ignis smiled a bit too, obviously glad that I had found something special in my relationship with Prompto.

I stopped hiding my smile and glanced over to the blond as he eagerly narrated Noct the lovely time we had together. Watching him being excited like a child was adorable, especially if it was due to interacting with me. He swung his arms around as he came over and stood next to me. Noctis followed with an amused and badly covered smirk.

Seeking Prompto’s affection, I flirtatiously leaned over him until he chuckled and eagerly wrapped an arm around my waist, which he used to pull me closer so our sides were touching.

“It’s so weird seeing you being so corny” Noctis pointed out, looking from me to Prompto.

“I’m not corny!” I objected, almost outraged.

“Why would you appear so flustered and embarrassed otherwise?” Ignis remarked wittily.

“Besides” I pretended like I did not hear him. “What about Prompto?”

The aforesaid was beaming, he was completely over the moon.

“Are we talking about the same person here?” Gladio acknowledged the boy’s broadness about his crushes. For the most part.

“Corny and proud” Prompto chuckled happily, nodding towards him.

“That is the voice of a true romantic” Ignis commented, whether jokingly or not I couldn’t truly tell.

The five of us indulged in some more free time while we rejoiced in the beautiful scene around us and the cheerful mood that settled in the group.

After reuniting with our friends and visiting Weskham –an old friend of King Regis –and being introduced to Camelia Claustra –first secretary of the Accordo Protectorate, as Ignis reminded us –we decided to carry on with our wandering around Altissia and jumped right on to a gondola that would take us to the Leville, where we would rest for the big day tomorrow. The day of the rite.

My hand grazed the water as I let it fall limply to the side of the gondola while we traveled to the hotel. I felt fortunate, blessed by experiencing such soothing beauty with my four best friends, one of which happened to be my boyfriend as well.

I was quiet, silently enjoying the moment as well as resting. It had been a busy day, and surely my wounds were yet in the progress of healing and hindering my energies.

Absently glimpsing at my friends, I took notice that Ignis was observing me fondly from his seat in front of me. Surely, he liked seeing me in such a serene and reflexive state. I smiled at him and he smiled back.

Prompto and I sat alone in the widest bench, so I rested my head on his shoulder and linked my arm with his. That ride was so romantic and so perfect!

“You okay over there?” Gladio, who sat at the edge of the gondola to my left, bumped his knee against mine. “You look sleepy”

“I’ll let you on a little secret” Ignis smirked a tad, which I knew wasn’t a good sign. “Alexandria gets extremely affectionate when she’s feeling tired or unwell”

Surely, I was tired and my feet throbbed from so much walking. Yet I wasn’t affectionate because I was drowsy or unwell, but because I was happy and loved Prompto!

“I’m sitting right here, Ignis” I reprimanded him, also sending him a glare.

“And when she’s scared” Prompto chuckled, nudging me softly. “Remember the chocobos?”

“Quite the contrary” Iggy responded, always amused by this demeanor of mine. “If too much attention is gathered on her she can get quite feisty when she’s frightened”

“She’s a proud one” Gladiolus joined in the fun.

“Always so snooty” And so did Noctis, I should have known.

“And she’s right here” I closed my eyes and ignored them. “Stop talking about me!”

I heard Prompto giggling as his fingers brushed against my sides in a kind gesture, gingerly enough not to tickle me. Even though he knew he had the power to do so and would surely save the valuable piece of information for a useful purpose and a convenient moment.

As usual, my drowsy state sunk me into a reflective mood. Yet this time it implied a rush of reality and I was randomly reminded that although I was spending a lovely time with my friends and new boyfriend, we weren’t on Altissia for vacation. We had a mission: Reunite with Lady Lunafreya so as an Oracle she would awaken the Leviathan and the Goddess would grant a blessing upon Noctis as the Chosen King. It was quite complicated, and truly of great importance. It reminded me the weight of our journey, of my role as Noct’s companion and my duty to protect him in order to carry on the prophecy that he needed to fulfill.

Such reminder broke my spirits a bit, but I held on to Prompto tighter. Perhaps ours was a perilous journey, and perhaps we needed to endure suffering such as the one we carried with ourselves after King Regis’ death. Yet we would still have each other.

The next day we met with Camelia and promised her to keep her citizens safe in a mutual agreement so Noctis and Lady Lunafreya could awaken Leviathan.

I must admit, I was quite impressed by Noctis’ politic skills as he spoke with her as a king. He had shown incredible strength and diplomacy, addressing the subject truly professionally and almost appearing to be a king in that unique Noct way of his.

When the moment of the rite arrived, however, I felt anxious and jittery as I remained by my three friend’s side. A big task was assigned to us, people’s safety was a stake and it was a great responsibility. In protecting the king and ensuring his success we also contributed to bringing back the light to the world as it was slowly fading and succumbing to darkness very slowly.

Also, I couldn’t take them off my mind. The fact that the Oracle Lunafreya needed to summon the Covenant and that Noctis needed to obtain the Hydraean’s blessing. I hoped everything went well.

I kept gulping, because my throat felt extremely dry. Although I had worked hard to improve, I still wasn’t a Crownsguard and I wasn’t prepared like they were.

“There is no need to worry, Alexandria” Ignis saw through my apparent tranquil exterior and noticed the signs that made clear that I was nervous. “Stay calm, you appear to be tense”

“I can’t help it” My voice came out as low and trembling in spite of myself.

“We’re just evacuating people for now” Gladio gently elbowed me in the ribs. “Don’t sweat it”

I glanced at the marching people with absent eyes, trying to occupy myself with something trivial in an attempt to trick my mind into not thinking about it.

“Yeah, no biggie” Prompto also felt the need to dedicate me some words of encouragement as well. “We’ve got this, Xanders!”

“This isn’t only about us, Prom” I turned to him and bit my lip in anxiety. “I’m concerned for Lady Lunafreya as well as Noct, the Covenant with the Hydraean is of great importance”

“You must have faith in Noct” Ignis almost reprimanded me, eyeing me warily.

“And I do, of course I do!”

“Then what’s the problem, Alex?”

“I… don’t know…”

“A bad feeling, perhaps?”

“Not really, I merely…”

“Don’t try to be logical, you’re just freaking out” Gladio added with a shrug. “It happens”

“I see” Ignis nodded to himself, averting his eyes to the crowd as he confirmed that the last of the citizens left Altissia. “It’s completely understandable, Alexandria, we won’t think less of you”

After all, it was the first true time I faced a situation as such. At least, outside the Council room. Unlike then, I was there to see everything develop for myself. I was in on the action.

“To be honest…” Prompto began to say shyly. “I’m kinda nervous too”

“You two are made for each other” Gladio playfully placed an arm over me and the other one over my boyfriend, hugging us both at the same time. I wondered whether it was the desired effect, yet such gesture brought a small smile to my face. If we were to ignore the sudden burning feeling in my cheeks.

“Gladio!” Ignis warned us, his eyes fixed on the sky above us. Noticing the alarm in his tone, the big man immediately let go of us. Upon following Iggy’s glance, we found with aerial imperial ships that were starting to surround us. The four of us complained under our breaths as we conjured our weapons, anticipating the battle.

“Is that all of the people?” Prompto confirmed, checking all around him to assure that all the citizens of Altissia had already left.

“I believe so!” Ignis responded, even if his green eyes wouldn’t leave the imperial ships.

“Go!” Gladio commanded as he started running once the evacuation was completed.

“Let’s hope Noct and Lady Lunafreya are doing alright” Prompto uttered as he sighed and followed him.

Ignis and I nodded to each other, in an understanding glance. Then we motioned to go with them, although Prompto and Gladio extended their arms before us protectively.

“Wow!” The blond exclaimed, taken aback by the small army of MTs that fell before us. I knew Altissia was somewhat under imperial domain, yet it angered me greatly to encounter them again. I hated those things.

“Damn MTs!” I screamed, summoning my handgun and pointing at one of them.

“Bring it on” Gladio defied them, materializing his huge sword while Prompto wielded his weapon as well.

“Stand back!” Ignis and I warned, involuntarily at the same time.

The MagiTek troopers were too close to our friends, so they urgently traced back their steps. Meanwhile, we backed them up. Mainly I, as Ignis didn’t have a long distance weapon like me. Prompto yelped when a bullet passed close to him, only to land in the MTs helmet.

“Nice shot, Xanders!” He congratulated me once over the initial shock. “That’s my girl!”

“Prompto, focus!” Gladio shouted at him.

“Yes, sir!”

“Be alert!”

At least I felt more confident with my fighting abilities at that point, as though I could truly help them and be a useful backup in case they were in trouble.

The four of us battled separately, each to his own. Gladio smacked his sword against the troopers with his brutal force, Ignis nimbly parried and Prompto shot and jumped around. I myself switched from handgun to sword quickly, as I had mastered during my time in Hammerhead, and efficiently took the MTs down.

As we fought, it started heavily pouring with rain. A very loud sound overcame us as well, causing us to briefly look in that direction.

The Leviathan. Lady Lunafreya had awaken it and also upset the Goddess somehow as well, for it stood majestically in all its glory, nearly shadowing the sun behind it with its splendorous size.

I realized then, it wasn’t rain which was falling over us. It was tiny drops coming from the sea that splashed all around due to the Hydraean’s awakening.

“That’s not good” Prompto whispered, barely audible under the gunfire noise.

“We must help Noct!” Ignis shouted to make himself audible over the racket surrounding us.

“He needs to get to the Leviathan!” Gladio agreed, his amber eyes still vigilant of the Goddess.

“On my way!” Prompto volunteered without giving it a second thought.

Just as our glances were directed towards the Leviathan, a ship sneakily approached us until it nearly landed. It opened to reveal Ravus Nox Fleuret, standing there elegant and silent.

“You’re gonna need help” His voice uttered emotionlessly. I frowned, observing the man before us. The man that had sided with the empire and was under the orders of Ardyn Izunia.

“Why would you want to help us?” I piped up, remembering how Ravus had attacked my friends while I was away.

His silence was suspicious, making me wonder what hidden reasons he might have. Should I believe his intentions were good? He was Lady Lunafreya’s brother, after all.

“You must go at once” Ignis commanded, grave and stern. “Noct needs us”

By the way he was looking at us, I knew he referred to both Prompto and I.

“But how?!” Prompto motioned in the Hydraean’s direction. “I can’t fly him up there!”

At his command, two MT troopers exited the ship, carrying some sort of motorized flying vehicle that somewhat resembled a motorcycle, albeit it had no wheels.

“That should suffice” Ravus took it from the MTs and handed it over to Prompto.

“Ha!” He guffawed, observing the big heavy object in his hands. “Awesome, this is perfect!”

“Wait, you’re going?” I held him back by his vest when he was about to leave, anxious about letting him go. If he left my side, I had no chance of backing him up.

“I gotta go!” Trying to loosen my grip on the garment, he turned around. “Noct needs us!”

”Prom, wait” I pleaded worriedly, not minding that we weren’t alone. I took him by the shirt instead and pulled him toward me, needing him closer to seek any sort of comfort. When our lips collided it felt familiar, it felt right. I managed to catch some air at last.

Yet when we broke away the world fell on my shoulders again. As soon as my lips left his, I was reminded of the horrible reality that surrounded us. Of the Leviathan and the darkness and the possibility that it could be our last battle against the Empire. I might not see them again. Maybe I would die, maybe Prompto would. Maybe all of us would. It was a far too painful thought. I was too unfamiliar with the violence of an actual and serious battle.

I frowned, trying to convey my emotions by putting them into words.

“I…” Was all I managed to say, my pride not allowing me to confess. Even if I truly didn’t know what I wanted to say. “I just…”

Perhaps ‘take care’ was the best option. Perhaps I wanted to tell him to come back to us in one piece, to fight his hardest to survive. Or I just wanted to let him know how much I loved him, or how scared I was. How much I longed for everything to be over and things to be okay and back to normal.

Prompto just nodded, definitely knowing me enough to realize all of my thoughts. He dedicated me a sad smile that was shadowed by his usual genuine and bubbly ones.

“You too” He said in response to my silence. That said, he began to walk away.

“Prompto!” I called him, louder than needed. But he did turn around, expecting an answer. “Be careful!!”

There came one of his bright smiles that made me feel like everything would be alright even when I knew it wouldn’t. Even in the middle of such situation, it was the sunshine during the storm, quite literally. And then he was gone.

Damn it, why did I listen to him? Not only was I busy ending the last of the MagiTek troopers that came my way, but also enduring a gnawing feeling of dismay.

I blamed Gladio for throwing me over his shoulder and carrying me away from Ignis, leaving him alone with Ravus. I knew how greatly capable Ignis was, but I still didn’t trust Lord Nox Fleuret, not to mention to leave him alone with my best friend. On top of all, I was left alone again when Gladio ran off to look for Prompto as he was taking too long to come back. All he had to do was carry Noct close to the Hydraean and drop him off.

Once I dealt with a new wave of MT soldiers that had attacked me yet again, I stormed off in the direction where Gladio disappeared from. Hopefully I would reunite with him, Noctis and Prompto. However, I stopped when a feeling of emptiness took over me. Something was definitely wrong. Ignis. Prompto. Gladio. Noctis. Lunafreya. One of them was in trouble. Perhaps them all.

Hesitating in the spot where I was stuck in, I glanced back to where Ignis and Ravus fought the MTs –that, ironically the imperial man was fighting back –and where Gladio and Prompto were supposed to be at.

“Hey!” A familiar voice called me, bringing me great relief with just his presence.

“Prom!” I turned around and ran to engulf him in a tight and desperate embrace.

“You okay?” His hand rested in my side as he immediately broke the hug.

“Yes” My smile dropped instantly when I looked at him.

“No worries, I am too” Mistaking my reaction, the blond showed me a reassuring grin as he shrugged casually.

It wasn’t because I was concerned about him, which was also part of the problem. Yet I immediately noticed there was something off about Prom, although I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. There was something about his voice, his tone, the cadence of it. Despite the fact that it was his voice, it didn’t quite sound like Prompto, how was that possible?

“What’s wrong, Alexandria?” That was the first definite proof that backed up my suspicion. Prompto never called me Alexandria anymore. Ever, only Alex!

I shook my head, blaming my restlessness to the frantic and hectic events that were taking place and must have been messing with my head. It probably slipped as he was too preoccupied with bigger matters.

“Nothing, I’m just glad you’re alright” I nodded, forcing myself to smile at him.

“Me too” He smiled too, yet… it wasn’t as genuine or bright as usual. Even forced, it felt unauthentic. Surely, the harrowing battle was affecting him as well. All the fire and destruction that surrounded us, the noise of explosions and war.

“Wait, where are Ignis and Gladio?” He looked around him to the empty streets of Altissia. “And Noct?”

“I don’t know where Noct is after you dropped him off, but the others are-” I admitted, pointing my thumb over my shoulder.

“Wait, what are you doing here alone?” He rudely interrupted me, something that he didn’t usually do.

“Ignis and Gladio insisted that I should go find you and leave them” My confidence started to shatter because of his judgmental tone. “You... you know how protective Ignis is, and Gladio basically…”

“Wait, so…” Prompto’s brows furrowed in astonishment. “You… actually left them alone?”

“Well, they…”

“What about sticking together? You chickened out!”

He was raising his voice, what was going on! Prompto wouldn’t yell at me… Was he really that angry at me? Mad enough to actually shout like that?

“I… didn’t!” I managed to retaliate, although perplexed. “Ignis-“

“I’m… disappointed in you” Prompto shook his head, looking me haughtily. “I thought you were better than that!”

I suddenly felt out of breath, afraid that my deepest fears came to life. What if he didn’t like me anymore because of it? I had disappointed him, and hearing him say it so openly broke my heart, it caused me physical pain in my chest as well as emotional ache as he threw my own insecurities in my face.

“What is wrong with you?!” Prompto’s hands slapped against my shoulders and shook me angrily.

It was unusual in him, yet the situation called for it. We were exhausted, concerned, filled with adrenaline and frenzy. However, that didn’t soften the impact of his words and actions. They still discouraged me and hurt me deeply.

“You’re-you’re right…” That was the worst part, I couldn’t quite blame it on him. I had been a coward when obeying Ignis’ orders. I should have stood by his side no matter what, even against his wishes. To protect him, to help him.

Feeling overwhelmed and extremely sensitive, tears started building up in my eyes. At least they would blend in with the raindrops that wet my cheeks if they were to be shed.

Just then, an explosion of fire erupted behind us. It illuminated the streets around us with a violent orange glow that gave me goosebumps. Even though I tried to convince myself that the fire came from Ignis himself conjuring it and hoping they were safe, the attempted thought didn’t quite ease my restlessness.

“Ignis!” Urgently, I turned back round to face Prompto. “We must go help him!”

Refusing to let fright control me again, I was determined to go on to his aid.

“We can’t!” Prompto’s fingers closed around my wrist, firm like an iron clutch. “It’s too dangerous!”

I paused, analyzing his eyes as I found a surprising amount of emptiness in them when they looked back at me. Devoid from all those emotions that he conveyed when looking at me. Fondness, joy, shyness, playfulness, vitality, softness. There was no trace of none of them.

He was contradicting himself as well. Before he was ashamed of me for not helping.

“Prompto…” I started, cautiously stepping away from him and freeing myself from his strong grip. “Since when you do care if it’s dangerous? Those are our friends we’re talking about!”

Perhaps Prompto could get scared more easily than others, yet that never stopped him. His friendship and loyalty were always more important, or else he wouldn’t have come with us and lingered in our company even through the dungeons. Even when facing his phobias and fears, he never left. His friends next to him made him brave.

The definite clue was the smirk that plastered on his lips next. It wasn’t soft like him, it wasn’t goofy or pure or tender. It was arrogant and scornful. And I had seen it before. I just couldn’t remember where. However, I was positive of something. No one could replace the real Prompto Argentum.

“You’re not Prompto” I sternly told him, defiantly staring at the copy of him.

I turned around, trying to catch a glimpse of where my friends were at. Perhaps the real Prompto was there, helping Ignis and Gladio. For the time being, I was not to remain there. I would go help my friends and forsake whoever that fake Prompto was.

“Oh, dear…” Behind me, I didn’t hear Prompto’s voice. “I have been discovered… It seems I’m not as good an actor as I believed myself to be”

My heart violently thumped against my chest when I realized who that voice belonged to. A gasp got caught in my throat with the deepest of terrors as I frantically turned around to meet face to face with Ardyn Izunia.

“Such a pity, isn’t it?” He spoke with sarcasm and condescendence. “If only you hadn’t seen through my brilliant disguise”

“Ardyn, you…” I began to say, prepared to vent with as many insults to his persona as I’d like. However, my eyes widened in panic with the realization that I wasn’t the victim to his games. I was merely a distraction, and he was a bait I stupidly took.

My friends were in danger, and I was there talking to a fake Prompto. Being held back, rendering me useless so I couldn’t help them.

“Gladio! Ignis!” I shouted weakly, nearly hyperventilating as I turned to where the commotion originated from. “Prom-“

A heavy painful blow came to the back of my head. Turning my back to him wasn’t the wisest idea. I heard his foul laughter as I fell limply to the ground, complete darkness engulfing my world.

Tagging list: @prince-of-wind, @toranyx, @ghadah1421

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