#especially when it comes to romantic relationships

[elysiansparadise]

Ruler of the 7th house in the houses

Ruler of the 7th in the 1st

These natives pay close attention to the relationships they form and, throughout their lives, learn the lesson of determining who is or is not worth having in their lives. These natives, although open to meeting people, are prone to having closed or small circles, because they know that they are capable of giving everything for those they love or appreciate. The future spouse of this native stands out for their impetus, their spirit of strength and their ease in taking the right risks. They will be a very decisive person, one who does not hesitate once they decide something and someone who perseveres until they get what they want. They will not be afraid to compete in any field, especially in the professional field, which can lead them to be a person who quickly climbs to the top. Future spouse may be someone very oriented toward personal growth and will ultimately put a lot of energy and focus into the marriage. Both will be a source of strength and motivation for the other, with the presence of their loved one being what they need to recharge their batteries or feel ready to take some important step. The native's partner can be someone who, although strong and empowering in appearance, hides a romantic essence, a charming personality who loves to pamper and be very verbal with the love they feel for the native. Passion will abound in this relationship, from that strong romantic and sexual attraction between the couple to the desire to be able to consolidate a stable relationship that works in the long term. The native's partner will be very present in their process of self-discovery and self-appreciation, they will play a very important role in the native's life and will lead them to know many sides of themselves that they did not know about. In their relationships, these natives bring enthusiasm, a lot of love, dedication and a willingness to commit. In addition, they make their partner get in touch with their romantic and loving side.

Ruler of the 7th in the 2nd

These natives highly prioritize stability when it comes to their relationships, which can lead them to be very selective when it comes to forming serious and long-lasting relationships. They are people who provide a lot of commitment, support, and perseverance in their relationships, as they seek to reassure their partners and give them the security they obtain in an equitable way. Your future spouse is a person who is already at a very good point in their lives, they have many resources and everything they need to live a life full of calm and zero worries. They stand out for their patience, perseverance and business vision. They can be people who start their own business, or who have a position with a very good salary. Their future spouse may have had a significant inheritance or be heir to a large sum of money and/or assets. They are someone romantic, with a serene and fancy appearance, but with an intense emotional world. In this relationship there will be a strong sense of support, the natives will feel that they will not be alone and that they can rely on their partner in every way, because they will see in this person someone sensible, who loves them and has shown them with actions that they are protected and loved. Their partner will show them what it means to have something stable in their lives and they will be able to face difficulties without the relationship weakening. Their future spouse will have great satisfaction providing for the native and will always try to fill them with pleasures and comforts. There is a strong attraction between them and they can be perceived as very attractive. They both value each other strongly and feel that the other is the best they have ever had in their lives. During their marriage, the native can obtain many assets from their partner, these being very often tangible and movable assets. Your partner will be charming, kind, spoiling and constant with you, loyalty and honesty will be two of the many values ​​that both will share and see in the same way. The relationship will develop progressively and both will take each other seriously from minute one.

Ruler of the 7th in the 3rd

For these natives, communication is one of the most necessary tools in a relationship, especially if it is projected for the long term. They are people who will always try to be open with what they think and feel to avoid misunderstandings. The marriage of the natives will be like a song to the wind that finds an echo in the corners of life. The couple will not only be a fun and witty lover, but a confidant, an eternal dialogue partner and someone with whom there will be an excellent intellectual connection. Their future spouse will be someone very intelligent, with a lot of knowledge in different areas and will likely be able to understand the native like no one else has ever been able to. Both will have a similar vision of marriage and will see in their loved one someone who wants the same as them when it comes to this commitment, someone who understands their values, who shares their opinions and with whom daily living is enjoyable and pleasant. They will be someone with whom the native can discuss and learn, someone whom the native will deeply admire and look up to. There will be laughter, debate and promises drawn between the lines, a connection that transcends the physical and entangles the mind and spirit. They will meet on casual paths, perhaps through a short trip, thanks to a mutual acquaintance or at a social event. There is a strong closeness between them, even before taking that big step towards marriage, both enjoy sharing their experiences, their ideas and any other aspect of their lives with each other. In this relationship, communication is fair, they seek to talk and share, but also accompany and listen. It is likely that during your relationship, both of you will go on trips together, wanting to see the places that the other considers special or significant.

Ruler of the 7th in the 4th

Natives that have this overlay long for an emotional connection when looking for or forming stable relationships, those kisses that cover their wounds, flooding them with peace and a feeling of security. They are looking for something long-term and someone who, like them, prioritizes the well-being of the one they love the most, their safety and comfort. A pair of arms to take refuge in when the darkness is overwhelming, someone to finally rely on, someone to let your guard down with, and you will find it in them, your future spouse. A warm person, who although reserved, will reassure the native with support, delicacy and a love so pure as to give meaning to the deepest longings of the native. In this marriage, warmth and affection will abound, and they will be overwhelmed by that feeling of being adored and loved for being who they are. Their future partner will be someone in touch with their emotions, someone who knows what they want and need to be happy, someone who pictures themselves next to the native, caring for them, providing gentleness, understanding and even everything that is tangible. The natives will feel that their heart is exposed and appreciated by their partner. There will be a lot of fluidity between both, a strong sense of familiarity and they will awaken in each other the strongest, intense but strangely comforting emotions. Being together will feel like having returned home after the chaos and whirlwind that others left behind, you can become very close and there is this constant desire to be close and together in all kinds of circumstances. Your future partner may be reserved, with high emotional intelligence and the ability to understand other people's emotions without judging or mocking them. Someone respectful, understanding. They have strong ambition and long to achieve great things in all areas of their life that they consider special.

Ruler of the 7th in the 5th

For these natives it is important that both parties know that they are loved and that their efforts and gestures are appreciated by the other. They want a partner who loves them just the way they are and with whom they feel they can be themselves. Marriage will be a stage where both will shine, supporting each other to express the best of themselves. The partner will be someone who motivates, who celebrates your achievements as if they were theirs and who always reminds you of the importance of following the call of the heart. The union will be marked by spontaneity, warmth and the ability to turn the everyday into the extraordinary. They will feel like excited young people, sharing secrets and dreams under the starry sky, and together, hand in hand with each other, they will create a relationship, a life full of passion and meaning. Your future spouse will be someone with a lot of self-confidence, someone who believes in their potential and yours, and above all, someone who dares to go after what they want. They will love to show you to the world, show you off and shout from the rooftops that you are what they love most, their demonstrations will go beyond verbal, it will be through their actions that they will shout to your heart how special you are to them. This marriage will bring joy to your life and can give you a boost of energy, confidence and self-love. You bring appreciation and affection to your partner, they will be that force that reminds them why life can be precious, that glimmer of hope in the nights of heaviness, and that loving kiss that makes their hearts beat like crazy. Your married life will be full of love, emotion, passion and joy, it will not be a quiet and routine romance, it will be one full of loud laughs, adventures together and the warmest desire.

Ruler of the 7th in the 6th

These natives have a realistic vision of marriage, they are not looking for a fantasy utopia, rather something that is positive, effective, healthy and beneficial for both in the long term. They know that there is nothing more valuable than a person who is really there by your side, who does not sweeten your ears with promises, but who is able to tangibly demonstrate the commitment they have and the love they say they have for the native. Their future spouse will be a person with a strong devotion to the native and the relationship, someone who is hardworking, devoted and who no matter how long they are together, will notice the details of the native that could go unnoticed by others, will have those romantic and small gestures that will reaffirm the love and affection that seems to strengthen with the years. Lovers who trust each other, not only will there be romance, but there will be trust, reliability in moments of tension, meaningful conversations and emotional support when stress consumes them in their personal lives. In this marriage, both will be the classic couple that adopts each other's behaviors, habits and small details. The coexistence between the native and their future spouse will be fluid and harmonious, since their practical approach to the relationship will make them patient, understanding and supportive with each other, a great team, strong and giving. Your future spouse may not be the most verbal person, but you will feel their love. They will look for a way to express to you, in your language or in your ways, how much they love you and how much you mean to them. They will be a person who seeks to support you, from a massage after a hard day, a delicious dinner whether made by themselves or from your favorite restaurant, or even something that seems as simple as asking you if you are okay or need something. With your future spouse you will learn what it truly means when someone makes an effort to understand you and make you feel loved, someone who isn’t afraid to make changes and who includes you in their lives.

Ruler of the 7th in the 7th

This overlay makes it clear to us that the native WILL get married this lifetime. The native, regardless of any other aspect of their chart, is committed and very focused on their relationships, they hold a special place for their partner and will seek to give their all to make the relationship work, this of course, knowing that their partner also will do it. These natives will meet the type of person they have always dreamed of, something like a blessing of destiny, a connection in which they mutually feel that they are the one for the other, as if the union was written in the stars from the beginning. Their partner will be the perfect mirror, someone who reflects your desires, your desires, and sometimes even your shadows, helping you get to know yourself more deeply through the relationship. Their future spouse will be someone who values ​​equality & justice, who seeks to build a union based on mutual respect and understanding. It will be someone romantic who will fill the native with love in all its forms, tangible or intangible, actions and words. The wedding will be a beautiful event, full of love and warmth not only of each other, but of family and friends. Each interaction will be an act of harmony, a dance between two souls who find in each other a lover, a companion and a home. The relationship will be marked by commitment and connection, by a mutual dedication that is not afraid of challenges. They will be companions in every sense of the word, a team that works together to overcome the tests and enjoy the triumphs. It will be a love that finds its strength in unity, that flourishes through reciprocity and that leaves a deep mark on the heart. They will experience a harmonious romance, a mixture of love and commitment that will make people outside believe in love.

Ruler of the 7th in the 8th

When we find this overlay, the natives are people who look for something deeper and more meaningful in relationships, they do not like superficial things, just one night or empty words. They long for a total surrender of mind, body and soul in which both feel the devotion of the other. Their partner will arrive as a mystery to be discovered, a bond that transcends the superficial and takes root in the depths of your being, someone who comes to give meaning to what love had been for you. They will be someone who inspires the native to face their fears, who accompanies them in moments of change and who, in their presence, allows them to take refuge and feel safe. The partner will be someone with whom they will share not only the material, but also the spiritual and emotional, building a love that is fueled by trust and mutual dedication. Both of them may have had tense or difficult experiences in love, from loneliness due to fear of being hurt to betrayal, traits of resilience that will make them feel love and respect for the other. The union will be marked by an intense and burning passion, by the ability to share not only the joys and high, but also the shadows and lows. The relationship will be a space of authentic intimacy, where both will dare to be vulnerable and discover themselves and their multiple facets. Between them there will be a palpable desire, an enormous attraction, that obsession with the other's body and that fascination with the one you call your spouse. Both will meet after a moment of great change, some tense situation that they will experience or after the departure of someone important. When they meet they will feel a pull towards each other, an indescribable attraction and they will feel that they were both destined to meet. They will bring significant changes in the life of the other, whether in their lifestyle or their way of seeing things. 

Ruler of the 7th in the 9th

For these natives, it is not enough to just feel those butterflies in their stomach to define if someone is the one they want to marry, they look for something deeper before taking this step. They long to find someone who will show them a new side of love, someone who has something to say, many things to teach and show them, a person to love, admire and feel fascinated by. We can define this marriage as a team that is willing to explore the unknown together, a constant exploration of the outside world and the interior of both hearts. Their future spouse will be more than a life partner, they will be a teacher, someone from whom the native will learn and, to whom the native will teach a lot in return. It will be someone who awakens the native’s curiosity, who ignites their passion for the vast and the deep, and who walks by their side toward endless horizons. Both will be very curious about each other, they would like to know each other completely and give a deeper meaning to the word marriage, something beyond two signatures on a piece of paper. A fulfilling union, in which both fulfill their dreams and desires together. They will have different backgrounds, they will have experienced really different things, different family situations, even opposites, and it is also likely that this person will be from a different country or continent. Both will have this beautiful effect on the other in which they will teach themselves to see life in a different way, they will feel that next to each other it is easy to appreciate those beautiful and luminous things about love, about themselves and about life itself. They will bring mutual joy, a lot of motivation and endless anecdotes that, when lived and remembered, will fill them with warmth. In this relationship, both will be able to visit new places, travel a lot and experience everything that they thought would only be a dream.

Ruler of the 7th in the 10th

Here we find people who take the idea of ​​marriage very seriously, they think very carefully before committing themselves and not only to someone, but in any area of ​​their lives. They are people with a preference for long, lasting and less sporadic relationships, which can lead them to spend long periods of time single. Their future husband will be someone of high status, older than them in age and/or experience, and is likely to be an important figure at both work and family levels. Their spouse will be someone responsible in marriage, as they will seek to provide for their partner, give time and effort to both the relationship and the native, seeking to always progress together. With a hard-working, professional personality and with this touch of calm and control, the native's partner will lead a calm and successful life in which they seem to be at their best by the time they meet. And not only that, but it will teach the native not to be afraid to rely on someone, it will show them unconditional support and show them that they should not carry all their sorrows on their own, that they will be there for the native, lending a shoulder to lean on, a person who does not complain with them, but who resolves and finds solutions to preserve the peace of mind and well-being of the native. Their partner will seek to form a home with the native, so that both form stability together, not only in the material sphere, but also emotionally. Their future spouse will be someone who will bring clarity to the native's life, as well as empower them to discover the path they want to take, this of course, always hand in hand and with their partner encouraging them. Natives may take a while to get married compared to the people around them such as family or friends, but this overlay guarantees them a lasting relationship, since they will not do it because of the impulsiveness of the moment or a spontaneous emotion, rather because of the conviction that the other It's what they want and who they want to spend their days with. 

Ruler of the 7th in the 11th

These natives seek to have a long-term relationship in which not only their personal space and independence are respected, but also their partner and they support each other in pursuing goals and dreams, without judgments or critical views. They are not people who are afraid of being on their own, so they don't mind letting go of people who they know are not what they are looking for or need in their lives. These people can form very lasting bonds with their friends and can attract friends who become their partners. Their future spouse is an independent person who does things their own way and, despite having a strong sense of individuality, knows how to interact harmoniously with other people, becoming perceived as charming, sociable and very intelligent in any social field. They will be someone ambitious and a dreamer at the same time, someone who visualizes the future alongside the native with hope, plans together and many new experiences. Marriage becomes a journey toward broader horizons, an encounter with someone who inspires shared dreams and fuels the vision of a better future. The partner will not only be a life partner, but an ally, a friend who walks with you towards common goals. Love will come like a fresh breeze, in a space where friendship and mutual understanding are the pillar. It will be someone who shares the ideals of the native, who respects their individuality and values ​​their hopes as if they were their own. They will be able to meet each other when they least expected it, at that moment when they are deeply comfortable on their own. Both can help the other make or meet new friends and can feel that they mutually motivate each other to meet more people and/or feel proud of the person who they are. They will mutually teach each other to never put aside their essence in order to fit in.

Ruler of the 7th in the 12th

These natives may have felt a difficulty in not only finding lasting love, but also difficulty connecting with other people in general on a deeper level. They are people who long for this strong emotional connection where affection and love is unconditional, a desire that is constantly in struggle with their rational side and the fears of previous betrayals. After bad experiences, they will meet their future spouse, a person who will give them that love that they felt they would never experience. There is a very deep emotional devotion quality in their relationship, as they will understand each other better than anyone else and will always be willing to do many things for the other without needing to recriminate them. Your future partner will be someone who is reserved, very in touch with their emotions and with a tendency not to trust just anyone with their heart and emotions. They are intuitive, observant, prudent and dual, because although they are romantic and warm with the native, they can be independent and closed. Their future spouse will be a dreamer, who will love to imagine a future alongside the natives, someone who will fulfill them and can put them on a certain pedestal. In your marriage, there is a feeling of being seen, that the other deeply understands you and strives to understand you. They will have no problem making changes necessary for the relationship to progress [such as learning to open up more emotionally], they will be secretive about the relationship, and they will not let others have a say in what you as a couple decide. You will feel this strong emotional bond with your partner, it is very likely that it will give you the feeling of having already met them before. Between you there is a lot of sensitivity, empathy, and you can help the other to heal or feel better. There is an addictive quality to their relationship that seems to attract them more and more. You will bring out the poetic, sensitive and fanciful side of your partner.

[northopalshore]

Solar Return collective

Observations I

This post is a short compilation of random solar return placement observations I've made. Nothing is organized in any particular manner.

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

☆ Moon (11° aquarius ) in Taurus 7th house

You will have a lot of admirers, and you will be very popular to the opposite gender. You may have fun flirting around with no strings attached. If a relationship develops, it will not be serious.

☆ Moon opposite venus in 7th house

You will feel very uncomfortable in romantic relationships. Perhaps you will feel very burdened with commitment and prefer to break things off quickly for ease of mind. Especially if it's in aquarius or aquarius degrees (11°, 23°)

☆ Venus in 1st house in libra/libra°

You will have a lot of suitors or admirers coming your way. You will likely experience a glow up of some sort as well. Dressing better, putting in more effort into your looks.

☆ Chiron (17° leo) in pisces 5th house

You will be breaking hearts this year. You will turn down many admirers and could potentially crush some spirits as well, although you might not be able to see the true extent of your actions lol.

☆ Neptune 5th house in Libra/pisces

You will be very enchanted by the idea of love. There will be many opportunities for you to romance and be romanced, however a serious relationship isn't very likely. You could just be into flighs and crushes. Moving from one and on to the next!

☆ Mars in the 7th house

You're likely to be pursuing a romantic interest this year i.e asking them out or proposing. Something in your love life or your close relationships may finally be progressing. You may also make more effort to meet people if you haven't already.

☆ Mars in the 2nd house

You will take more effort into earning money this year. You may get a job (whether full-time or part-time). You may apply to a lot of jobs at once as well. You feel more motivated to earn money. However, you may spend equally as much as well. You may have difficulty when it comes to saving money.

☆ Mars (12° pisces) in aquarius 7th house

You might have a one sided crush on someone. You might see a potential partner in them while they do not reciprocate i.e are emotional unavailable.

☆ Pluto 3rd house

If you are in school, you might be switching schools this year. If not, you will be changing the way that you speak or communicate. You could also learn a new language this year (or have to).

☆ Mars (22° capricorn) in 12th house

You might be moving residences, moving to another state or town because of work or your father. This could be a very big change.

��� Jupiter 1st house

You might be gaining significant weight this year. Being more confident, and comfortable with yourself as well as indulging more in extroverted activities (if you haven't before this), like seeing friends more, putting yourself out there.

☆ Jupiter retrograde in 1st house Capricorn/Capricorn°

You may be feeling rather self conscious about how you look and dress. Changes in your appearance may prove to be uncomfortable for you. You could experience a lit of skin problems as well.

☆ Jupiter (22° capricorn) in virgo 11th house

You could be gaining a lot of new friends from your work or school environment. You could work together or be in the same field as them.

☆ Uranus (16° cancer) retrograde in 6th house

You could be moving closer to somewhere you used to grow up or used to live. It could be significant to your parents or your mother, could also be related to you grandmother.

☆ North node in the 1st house

This year, you will be focused on finding yourself (again). You may take a lot of time to assess what you are and what you aren't, perhaps coming to terms with your individuality what really defines who you are.

☆ Uranus in the 1st house

You may be changing something about your appearance, you could be losing or gaining significant or noticeable weight. You could define signature looks as well. You may be changing what you normally wear as well (personal uniform). If you've dressed rather rigidly before, this year you will be more experimental. You may post photos or videos of yourself online more as well.

☆ Sun in the 8th house

You will be experiencing a deep personal change this year. Perhaps finally addressing inner demons or trauma that you may have been pushing back.

☆ Moon in cancer

You may cry a lot this year, be more sentimental or emotionally expressive. You could feel like being closer to your mother or a mother figure. You may feel more in tune with the feelings of those around you as well. Perhaps people will look to you for comfort or validation this year.

☆ Moon in the 3rd house

You could start writing about your feelings this year, maybe start journalling or talking about your feelings in general i.e.sharing with friends, recording voice notes or filming yourself talking. Finding more ways to express your emotions.

☆ Saturn in the 10th house

You could be taking your job or work seriously this year, finally locking in lmao. You may want to be seen as more responsible and dependable this year.

☆ Chiron in the 12th house

You may experience deep seated pain this year. It could be related to spirituality, or whatever secret sorrow you have kept to yourself this year. Perhaps a spiritual awakening has brought you a lot of pain. Learning something related to a loss or a late realization. Being more sensitive to the metaphysical world.

☆ South node in the 7th house

You may be less reliant on your relationships this year, less focus on your love life. Choosing to let go and ease your mind when it comes to relationship i.e letting go of control.

☆ Jupiter in the 10th house

You will get a lot of recognition for your work this year, you may get a promotion or some sort of title this year. A lot of people may look to you for guidance.

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

Thank you for reading!

@northopalshore

@northopalshore SRC 2024 all rights reserved.

[autonomousroboticorganism]

sparkmate (TF One Sentinel Prime)

pairing - Sentinel Prime x F!Reader

summary - Sentinel has never showed any interest in sparkmates, or at least that's what you assumed. turns out, you're wrong.

warnings - another mech pushes you/slight violence

a/n - i am delusional when it comes to this bot so expect a lot of delusional fluff about him in the coming days

Arrogant. Narcissistic. Obnoxious.

These were all words that could be used to describe Sentinel Prime. Along with crazy, weird and insufferably handsome. You couldn't imagine there being any femme who wasn't crushing on the leader of Iacon, and you were no exception.

But it wasn't like you could ever mean anything more than an advisor, a friend, to him. Because he didn't pursue romantic relationships, as far as you knew. It was an unfortunate fact you would have to live with, made difficult by being in his presence all the time. Everyday.

You watched your friends find sparkmates, and felt happy for them. Though every time they tried to set you up, it ended in disaster.

You only had one mech in mind, and that was Sentinel Prime.

It was just so hard to get his attention.

You various attempts didn't work, and you had pretty much given up and resigned the idea of ever being his sparkmate when something you did unintentionally got his attention.

You were talking to one of his elite guards, discussing some new security measures, when that guard began to hit on you. You, not knowing he was flirting, carried on speaking to him, accepting his compliments thinking they were said kindly.

Sentinel was looking for you, wanting a second opinion on his new paintjob, but that quickly darkened into wanting to get you away from that guard asap when he saw what was going on. The Prime was easily jealous, especially when it came to things, and a certain Cybertronian, that belonged to him.

"(Name)!" He called cheerily, but when he grabbed your arm his touch was anything but cheerful. It was hard, almost hurtful, as he pulled you away from the brave guard. "Let him know he's fired, later."

You gaped at the Prime, "What? Why? It wasn't even his mistake-"

"You misunderstand, dear (Name)," his voice was sickly sweet, like something malicious lurked behind his tone. "He's not fired because of that."

But he didn't elaborate, he simply kept leading you away from the guard. Away from all his guards, in fact. To a much more private area of his tower, one that had your jaw dropping when you entered. You never thought you'd ever see it.

His berthroom.

"Uh, what are we-"

He cut you off, "I heard your friends have started looking for a sparkmate for you. Do you want one?"

"I, um-" Being here was disorienting enough, but his question completely took you out. You didn't think he'd ask that, let alone care about your love life.

"Do you," He moved closer, repeating himself but slower, "want one, (Name)?"

Your processor whirled, trying to figure out what to say. You didn't know what the right answer was to that, or what his reaction would be if you admitted the truth, that you did want one.

So you did the next worst best thing.

You said, "I want you."

Then you clapped a servo over your intake, optics going wide. It took Sentinel a minute to process what you had just blurted out, before he smiled.

"Naturally."

"Look, Sentinel-"

"Open up," he tapped your chassis, and began to do so with his.

Your optics widened even more, and slowly you opened your chassis up. Your spark buzzed excitedly being so close to his, and when he moved closer to you there was no hesitance and no resistance in the bonding process.

When it was over, and your sparks were back in their chambers, you stared at him in disbelief. Not only had you just become his sparkmate, but you felt all the possessiveness he felt over you.

"Perfect!" He beamed, "Now I don't have to worry right? You're mine, and only mine."

"Worry..?"

Sentinel could be a lot sweeter and softer than most would assume. He was an egotistical maniac, of course, but your bond revealed all the affection and love he felt for you.

"Enough. Stop working, sweetspark."

Sentinel pulled you away from what you were doing simply to hold you. He loved attention, especially from you, and right now he needed yours.

"But Sentinel, you wanted-"

"That can wait."

His arms wrapped entirely around your frame, pulling you against his chassis as he buried his faceplates in your neck cables.

"This feels good."

You felt your faceplates heat up, "Yes, it does."

"We should do this more often," he pulled away with a very cheerful smile.

"Sentinel, have you never been given a hug..?"

"If you mean what we just did, then no," he shrugged it off like it was nothing. "I haven't exactly been close to anyone, in case you didn't notice."

"Hmm," you hummed, then hugged him again.

Once he realised touch was a sign of affection, you noticed him do it a lot more. From placing a servo on your lower back to holding your servo, Sentinel had to be touching you in some way.

Primus forbid anyone else touch you, though.

"(Name)! It's been so long!"

Before you could even register who the voice had come from, a mech was in front of you and reaching out to hug you. You stepped back, a bit uncomfortable when you saw that it was one of the mechs your friends had set you up with.

"Oh, uh, hi," you greeted uncertainty. You looked around, hoping this wouldn't get Sentinel's attention. Because this really was nothing.

The mech grinned, "So I've been thinking...last time was fun, right? I enjoyed myself, you enjoyed yourself...why don't we try again?"

"Actually I'm Sentinel Prime's..." You trailed off when he began to look afraid, and your frame went rigid when you saw a familiar shadow engulf the shaking mech. "Sentinel."

"My love!" He exclaimed dramatically, making sure to shoot the other mech a glare before grabbing your chin and pulling your face towards his. He kissed you possessively, putting on a show for the mech who'd tried to touch his sparkmate. "My name sounds so good when you say it, you know that?" He mumbled as he pulled away.

The mech was long gone. But so was Airachnid.

"What are you going to do to him?"

"What do you mean?" Sentinel smiled, digits ghosting over your jawline.

"..."

"Although, it was nice to hear you say you're mine."

"I tell everyone that."

"Really? Even better!"

He may have odd ways of showing it, but he genuinely cared for you. He genuinely loved you, even if he didn't know how to express it very well.

Not many dared to hurt you after word spread of you being Sentinel's sparkmate, but the few brave ones who tried?

Disappeared without a trace.

"You rejected me? Me?!" Another one of your failed attempts at dating approached you one day, anger written all over his faceplates.

Your eyes widened, but you didn't have the time to react since he was already so close. His hands shoved your chassis, leaving a few scratches, and you tumbled backwards onto the ground. Also leaving scratches.

Everyone nearby froze. Not because your sparkmate was approaching, but because of the mere consequences this mech would face when Sentinel found out.

"(Name), why did I have to learn from Airachnid that you were harmed today?" Sentinel asked when he entered your shared berthroom.

"It was nothing," you told him, turning to face him.

He looked genuinely concerned, and you thought your optics were deceiving you. Until he inspected you upon reaching you.

"Scratches aren't nothing," he glared at the marks. "Who did this?"

You relented and gave him the name and description of the mech. There was no use trying to stop him, he would just find out from Airachnid anyway.

"Are you even going to tell me what you have planned for that one?"

"Let's go get you a nice new finish! Maybe my colours?"

You literally become his prized possession. All he asks for in return is your undying love and affection, which you already give him. Sentinel might seem self-absorbed and uncaring, but with you, his precious sparkmate, he's the opposite, and more.

[sleepynoons]

hi op feel free to ignore everything under - all you need to know is i love your writing *shakes head vigorously*

there are several things i think were immaculately done, but that'd require me to churn out an entire research paper, which i don't have the brain cells for anymore post-finals. so here are some scattered thoughts yep and yap

-

i don't gravitate towards mysterious or reserved characters because my personality simply doesn't mesh well with them. in fact, when i was watching wbk, i was always so wary of suo, and felt lowkey a lil uncomfortable with him LMFAO

but strangely enough, i think this discomfort became a very integral and driving force throughout my reading experience. of course, this was already the case due to the violent and dark nature of yakuzas, underground sex work, etc., but emphasizing suo's yandere-ness and how he doesn't shy away from it really completed the tone of the story. also, i feel like i came to terms with suo's character, which i rarely ever experience in general. really, this is all to say that it makes total logical sense in my brain to imagine a route where suo evolves into a yandere, and part of me strongly believes his real background in the wbk manga/anime won't be too happy-go-lucky either (otherwise the alternative would be like him wearing an eyepatch for the shtick bc he's a chuuni??? idrk????).

anyway, the reoccurring theme of redirection in suo's tactics really sealed the deal for me, and i think it was a good way to tie in references to his relationship to his master, the martial arts that we know he's especially good at, and how all of these things he's kinda exploited and sullied to "become a worse person for you." suo being very knowing and intentional is so snakey and creepy but also, i get a lil fucked up when it comes to men who are obsessed, so also incredibly erotic LMFAO i also just want someone to buy me a luxury penthouse out of concern for my safety *sad fist bump*

one thing i did find unexpected is suo's leadership within the yakuza. yes, necessary for the plot, otherwise he wouldn't be able to pull any strings. but because source material heavily emphasizes leaders as individuals like umemiya or sakura or even hiiragi, it's interesting to place suo in juxtaposition with them. not sure if it's bc i don't find suo particularly reliable in general, but i think this fic made me realize that he's still wise beyond his years and very, very ruthless. it's def very telling that, throughout the story, suo resorts to fear to assert power. anyway, i j think it was a particularly interesting detail to add in his role in the succession conflict.

btw, i do like how suo's change and transition isn't fully told or revealed. it's not a story meant for us, as it's a truth really for suo and reader. but even reader can't really keep up with him at times, and i find that dynamic really charming, as sadistic as that sounds. i like that reader is so vulnerable. i like that reader is not afraid to be vulnerable around him in the ways that matter, even when she's aware that he's fucking insane. and i really like that reader is aware of how much it takes to be vulnerable, so she doesn't push him. i think reader restrains herself (un)knowingly, and that's her way of loving him. obv less romantic in real life lol (don't try to fix anyone, been there, done that, lost myself, and still finding myself), but i do like how reader is suo's salvation :,,, even if she doesn't think she's particularly patient, she really is - like girl, Fuck Him Already!!!!!!

(could go on and on about how juicy the friction and tension is between suo and reader but that's for pt 2 hehehe)

this is kinda my half-assed transition into talking about reader, and honestly, my thoughts from earlier encapsulate the general thesis i have about her: she's really a lot like suo, way more than she thinks. i think she operates in very similar ways, just goes about it differently.

i think reader is way more reckless. she's very self-sacrificing. she's very good at putting up a front, even when she's internally low in confidence and self-respect. i think she just wants to be happy with suo, and hopefully, with their other friends as well.

and truly, i think suo has very similar end goals. i just think, with how things turned out, suo made the very calculated yet risky (also aggressive?) decision to do the things that he did. making their underlying principals and values and reactions so oddly similar, from my perspective, is sooooo neat, and it adds more depth to why they go so well together.

also, reader is so brilliantly the comedic relief in this whole thing. usually, in storytelling, it's someone else and is used as fodder. i really like how reader is a lil awkward and bad with timing and everything else, cause it makes the reading experience flow so much better. really helped with the pacing of the story, gave it the character + breathing space needed to process everything. i also just like my readers a little fucking hilarious.

anyway, op, so beautifully written - see you in pt 2 gg

TOKYO VICE | part 1

You knew that if you agreed to move in with Suo, you'd be setting yourself up for a life without autonomy. You also knew that these alarming behaviours were all signs that he desperately needed therapy to process his master’s untimely death. Living with a man in constant grief, who refused to talk about his trauma unless he was making up a lie related to the nation of China, was probably not a good decision. Doubly so when this man was clearly paranoid about losing you, and triply so when he was a high-ranking member of a violent syndicate. Unfortunately for you, you rarely made good decisions. (Or: After joining the yakuza, Suo develops the concerning habit of controlling every facet of your life. This is somehow less worrying to you than your uncontrollable lust around him.)

8.7k words. suo x fem reader. deeply unserious yakuza au. yandere suo (not abusive and reader is into it), dark comedy, a little angst, smut. warnings: borderline sex work, off-screen criminal violence. nsft – no actual smut in this chapter, but there are still graphic discussions of sex. mdni. thank you to @sleepyqinfei for beta reading and to @/cafekitsune for the banner!

sequel to sincerity and this sakura/reader wip

part 2 here

You’re not exactly sure why you and Suo have never fucked.

It’s certainly strange, given that you're pretty sure that Suo has expressed at least passing interest in you over the years, and you have felt a lot of interest in him. (By ‘interest’, you mean that you feel an insatiable lust around him that you fight to ignore on a daily basis.) You can't exactly pinpoint why nothing has ever happened despite this mutual attraction, especially given your profession and indifferent feelings toward casual sex.

You can think of a number of probable reasons, which are separate from those you classify as stupid reasons. The latter class comprises silly concerns like a fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of not being pretty enough, fear of not being good enough, et cetera. All very juvenile feelings—insecurities that you had in your teenage years, the days in which Suo ran around Makochi as a delinquent while you worked an honest job at a bar. (It was a girls’ bar in the red light district, but that's neither here nor there.) Your circumstances have since changed, and those anxieties have since faded. None of them have any material consequence for your current life, so you don't see any point in thinking about them.

The stupid reasons, then, definitely don't have anything to do with why you've never fucked Suo. But you can think of a few, more concrete reasons that may explain it. For one, Suo has been your friend since childhood and it’s generally a bad idea to have sex with your long-time friends. He was also your roommate for a while and it’s an even messier idea to have sex with your roommates. And now, in your adulthood, he’s your landlord in addition to being your boss, which makes him the worst possible person you could have sex with. You could lose both your home and your livelihood if things go south—both severe, material consequences that should theoretically keep your lust at bay.

Also, he's also a member of the yakuza.

Now, strictly speaking—you're not really opposed to having sex with violent criminals. It’s definitely not a good idea, but you don't usually have good ideas anyway. But for the past several years, you’ve been pissed at Suo for joining the yakuza in the first place, which actually does keep your blatant attraction to him in check. You simply dry up when you think too hard about all the feelings of betrayal.

When Suo was on the cusp of graduating from Furin and thinking about his future, you’d grabbed him by the collar and made him promise not to join the yakuza. They constantly tried to recruit from Bofurin, and they especially wanted Sakura, Suo, and Sugishita. You were adamant about chasing them off from Suo and Sakura whenever they approached—you had no need to worry about Sugishita, as Umemiya had already said he shouldn't talk to them, so there was no chance he was going to—and you begged Suo over and over not to join. Delinquency was fine, but a crime syndicate was something else altogether.

Suo seemed serious about it when he said he'd listen to you. He even applied to colleges, talked about maybe becoming a teacher and eventually supporting you so you could stop working in the mizu shobai industry. Back then, he often teased you by saying that you should marry him and be his housewife (or he could be your trophy husband, if you so wished). You thought he was joking, but with the way he always talked about his life after his degree, you wondered if he would seriously suggest it.

Of course, it was most likely just teasing, and you were fine with that. You were simply excited that he'd found a career that would make him happy. Nirei had also been accepted to university at that point, and even Sakura had an honest job lined up on Keisei Street. The future had looked bright for everyone.

Then Suo’s master died, and he lost his fucking mind.

The two of you buried Suo’s master in a Chinese funeral. He had never had children of his own, having satisfied his paternal instincts by picking up strays, and he didn't have much in the way of family in Japan either, so you and Suo performed the shou ling yourselves. One person kept a constant vigil over his body while the other searched on Google for what arrangements should be made next. After all, while Suo’s master had immersed his foremost disciple in his culture, he had never taught Suo any funerary customs. He hadn't thought there would be a need.

Suo didn't cry nearly as much as you, but he was probably in more pain. Your master had trained you a little bit when you were a kid, and he'd taken you in for a while after your parents kicked you out, so of course you were gutted. But he had practically raised Suo, so it was naturally worse for him. More shattering.

You often think about the first night you decided you'd sleep with him in the same futon because he was crying so much. He insisted he was fine, but he didn't complain when you got under the sheets with him and started thumbing away his tears. When you took off his eyepatch, you found, to your astonishment, that he was crying from his missing eye as well. Both of you thought the tear ducts had been destroyed in either the accident or the enucleation, but it appeared that not even that prior trauma could mask his grief over this one.

Nevertheless, by the time of the funeral procession, Suo had stopped crying.

“Master supported us and taught us to stand on our own two feet,” he said as the joss paper burned. He took your hand in his and smiled. “So it'll be fine. We’ll be okay on our own. I'll make sure of it.”

At the time, you had found this very comforting. You didn’t think too much of it, as you had a bad habit of relying on Suo for your emotional stability. His master had raised him to be an emotionally intelligent person, so it had been fine, even though you had a track record of reckless decisions. He’d still exercised endless patience with you. He never once got angry with you, nor did he ever force you to do what he felt was the right thing. Instead, he gently redirected your self-damaging behaviours—not so different from the martial art that he practised.

He disapproved of the run-down and lonely conditions of your apartment, so he spent a great deal of time there and helped make it into a proper home. He didn't like how dangerous your job at the girls’ bar was, so he walked you to and from work every night until you never left without him. He worried when you started having sex with your customers, especially when you began having nervous breakdowns over it (you were, after all, still a teenager and really only interested in having romantic vanilla sex with Suo), so he staged an intervention with Nirei and Sakura. In this way, Suo convinced you that you were loved and protected and didn't need to do something you hated so much. They would get you out if you felt trapped. And you didn't feel trapped, per se, so you left on your own—but it was still only because of them. You promised them afterwards that you'd never do it again.

This was Suo’s brand of kindness as a teenager. He always taught people, guided them away from harm rather than steering them—a behaviour he’d mimicked from your master. Your master, in general, had defined all of Suo’s values and his way of living, which was honest and gentle and conscientious. It was one where he used his abilities to protect the weak and care for his friends. He even kept his spiteful and alarmingly violent tendencies under control, though sometimes he slipped when fighting genuine assholes. But he still tried. He tried because he strived to be as kind as his master—who represented everything that Suo wanted to be in his adult life.

Thus, the death of Suo’s master meant the death of his principles. It changed the kind of man that Suo wanted to be. You don't want to say that he became a worse person, but he absolutely became a worse person.

He especially became a worse person with you.

As it turned out, Suo’s idea of making sure that the two of you would be fine on your own was, well, not really fine. It wasn’t that he became cruel to you, per se. It was more that whenever he saw a problem with your behaviour, his approaches to redirecting it became—put as nicely as possible—heavy-handed.

After your master’s death, you got a job at a high end, yakuza-owned club. Two weeks later, Suo broke his promise to you and joined the yakuza. So I can stay close to you, he explained gently, wiping away your tears as you cried hysterically, but you're convinced to this day that he did it partly out of spite. So a few years later, when you started having sex with your customers again and he tried to stop you, you decided to spite him back. I need to stay on top of the rankings, you'd explained dispassionately. The mamasan said it's fine, and the manager doesn't care. He even thinks it's good for business.

Suo’s response was to simply become the owner of your club.

This move was very extreme, but also very effective. Any customer who so much as brushed against you on the premises was instantly thrown out, and the mamasan started watching you like a hawk to make sure you weren’t going to any love hotels after work. Douhan were off-limits. For the first time since your teens, you became completely celibate—not only because of your new workplace circumstances, but because you simply didn't want to find out what Suo would do if you got together with a man he despised (and he despised every man you dated).

His most absurd play was when he became concerned about your living conditions again. Your latest apartment was too plain, too small, and the area was too dangerous. It didn't even have a shower, and the other tenants behaved concerningly toward you when you went to the bathhouse at night. But the rent was cheap, and it was still an upgrade from your last place, so you shrugged it off when Suo suggested that you move. Even when someone tried to accost you at night, you were nonchalant about it. You kicked the shit out of them in a fight and continued your routine unbothered.

The next month, Suo bought a luxury penthouse and suggested you move in with him.

His offer (command) came with conditions. One of the bigger ones was that you'd let him accompany you out at night if you ever needed to run errands in dangerous places. Or—nevermind, actually. He should really just accompany you everywhere at night. Maybe during the day too. And—ah, there was no way you'd be going to work alone, nor coming back by yourself—you were now always to be driven by someone in his organisation, if he wasn't available himself. Rent was a point of contention, when you asked about it: you wanted to pay at market rate, and he insisted that there was no need to pay at all. He ended up proposing a highly discounted price, which would give you ample financial freedom, but questionable financial independence.

These were insane terms. You knew that if you agreed, you'd be setting yourself up for a life without autonomy. You also knew that these behaviours were all signs that Suo desperately needed therapy to process his master’s untimely death. Living with a man in constant grief, who refused to talk about his trauma unless he was making up a lie related to the nation of China, was probably not a good idea. Doubly so when this man was clearly paranoid about losing you, and triply so when he was a high-ranking member of a violent syndicate. Case in point—he was likely connected to the brutal accident that later befell the man who tried to assault you.

“I'm not sure what you're implying, but at least he didn't die,” Suo said cheerfully when you confronted him about it. Which really meant: At least I decided not to kill him. This was a flag bigger and redder than any other you've ever known, and you consider yourself an expert in red flags. You knew you should run in the other direction.

So naturally, you put your arms around him, tenderly said, I'm sorry I've been worrying you, and then you moved in the next day.

While Suo treats you with endless patience, you have personal limits to the patience that you exercise with him. Specifically, your patience with how he treats you.

You don't mind the lack of social freedom, nor the lack of personal freedom, nor the lack of freedom of movement. You also don't mind living with a man full of intractable trauma surrounding the death of every parental figure in his life; in fact, you'd rather be by his side than not, if he needs to cope with something so painful. And anyway, your friendship is otherwise unchanged if you ignore the heavy restrictions he's imposed on every facet of your life. So that's all fine.

But the celibate lifestyle that he's cornered you into? You simply aren't built for it. Holy shit, do you need to get laid.

Nearly two years without sex has brought you close to another nervous breakdown (there have been few better sources of entertainment or validation in your life), and worst of all, it has made your profound lust for Suo incredibly hard to ignore. Waking up every morning to him in a towel, his hair still wet from the shower and his broad silhouette exposed, tests the absolute limits of your self-control. The contours of his lean and muscled form are distracting enough; coupled with the vivid colours and lines of his irezumi, the sight of him becomes maddening. It is a horrible thing to be exposed to when you haven't gotten any dick nor strap in over a year. It gives you thoughts about him that are overtly sexual, which is bad, as you have materially consequential reasons for not wanting to fuck Suo.

Things with him must absolutely stay platonic. But with sexual frustration like yours, being platonic with him means that you need to get erotic with someone else. A boyfriend or girlfriend is out of the question; you don't want to be responsible for yet another brutal accident. So you instead decide to quit your job at his club and start working on Keisei Street. At least this way, you can start fucking your customers again.

It’s a perfect plan. Suo’s oyabun is very indulgent toward him, and everyone else in the family respects him too. He consequently has a tight grip on his organisation and the territory they control, despite his relatively young age. Not a single person is ever to touch Keisei Street—largely because Sakura is part of Roppo-Ichiza, and Suo is nearly as weird about Sakura as he is about you. Plus, many of his other fellow Furin alumni are in the gang as well. If Suo’s men ever started fucking with people on Keisei Street, it would not only have grave implications for gang relations—it would be personally upsetting for Suo. This means you can fuck all the Keisei Street customers you want, and not get a single one of them threatened or killed.

A pretty brilliant idea, if you do say so yourself.

Suo’s expression doesn't change when you break the news to him. He delicately places his teacup—custom-made from Yixing, just like the matching clay teapot—down on the mahogany tabletop, and he looks at you with a calm smile.

“Come again?”

“I'm quitting my job at Red Dragon,” you repeat. “I already gave the mamasan my resignation.”

“And she accepted it?” Suo asks, in a tone that is so carefully nonchalant that you know it means he is actually furious with her. “How interesting,” he muses. “What brought this on?”

“I've found a better paying opportunity on Keisei Street.”

“I'll give you a raise,” he says easily.

“A raise?” You cock a brow. “The pay is mostly commission-based at Red Dragon. You know that.”

“Then it would be unwise to leave. You have a loyal customer base at Red Dragon. All very rich, and”—his smile grows sharp—“very polite.”

Polite. An interesting word. It actually means: None of them will ever proposition or harass you because they know they'll be maimed if they do. An easy thought to use to your advantage.

“It's loyal but it's small. Everyone who's anyone in this part of town thinks that we’re married. Do you know how hard it is to pull new customers in when they're scared shitless of my yakuza husband? And anyway”—you frown, trying to look as pathetic as possible—“I'm lonely.”

Suo stares. He looks surprised, possibly because you absorb every minute of his free time with silly conversation, new restaurants, and skiing trips. (He likes snow, so you ask for these trips more for him to relax than anything else.) You also text him frequently on days he's working, and he very diligently replies, even if he's in the middle of something like a raid or a hit or brokering a massive deal. Suo still very strictly keeps to his rule of never touching his phone when in conversation with other people—unless he needs to text you.

So his suspicion is fair. Suo is very attentive and doesn't allow you much opportunity for loneliness. In turn, you’ve always been very happy spending time with him, even when it's only him.

“Lonely?” he repeats. “Are you, now?”

“Yes. You work so much,” you complain, which is not a lie, “and I don't have any friends to spend time with when you're gone.”

“You have friends from work.”

“No, I have competition at work. The hostesses are so cutthroat about rankings, they hate me. And each other.”

“You like Shuuhei and Hanzo,” he points out, referring to his men who most frequently chauffeur you.

“Yeah, they're friendly, and they're very funny. I like them, but I can't be their friend.” Suo stares at you, nonplussed, so you spell it out: “They're too scared of you to get close to me. What if it looks like they're trying to fuck the boss’ wife?”

“Hm…” Suo studies you, looking thoughtful. Perhaps for the first time, he's contemplating the consequences of restricting your freedoms and marking you as his. That is to say—maybe he's finally realising that you have no friends and no life.

The beads of his earrings glimmer as he tilts his head at you and frowns. Suo almost looks innocent with that confused face of his. “And how would working on Keisei Street help?” he asks.

“Because all our old friends are there!” you exclaim. “Sakura’s in Roppo-Ichiza now so he’ll definitely be coming by all the clubs. Tsubaki too. And Nirei and Kiryu visit them quite often—and even Tsugeura does sometimes, even though clubbing isn't one of his virtues.” You grab onto his arm, pull yourself close, and give him your most disarming, pleading expression. “Please, Suo?”

“Hm.” He strokes your cheek and looks at you fondly, in the way that one would do with an adorable and slightly annoying kitten. “I don’t think so. It’s not very safe there.”

He isn't wrong. Not only are you untouchable on his turf because of your association to him, Suo has also just crushed all the han-gure and petty criminals in his territory with brutal efficiency. His part of the red light district is, quite ironically, one of the safest places in the city, and certainly safer than Keisei Street.

But undeterred, you point out, “Shuuhei and Hanzo can still drive me there and back if you want. But I don't think it's necessary. Do you really think Sakura would let anything happen to me?”

This is the true brilliance of your plan: capitalising on the fact that Suo is as nearly as weird about Sakura as he is about you. He pauses as soon as you bring up the point, and you can practically see the gears turning. “Well, if it's him…”

“I even texted him about it. Look—here!” You whip out your phone, receipts ready. The corner of Suo's mouth lifts at your obviously rehearsed pitch. “He says he'd make sure I'm taken care of. And he says it'd be nice because he misses seeing us. Can you believe it—Sakura actually admitted that he misses us! Typed it with his own two hands and pressed send! I bet he was super embarrassed about it.”

“Huh. He even used a sticker. I've never seen him do that.” Suo smiles as he reads through the chat. He looks like his old self. You suddenly feel a little wistful, and also a lot bad. This started as a ploy to get laid, but it’s made you realise that you really do miss your friends—and Suo probably does too.

“If I worked on Keisei Street, then you would have plenty of reason to visit,” you point out, feeling somewhat tender.

“I guess that's true,” Suo says. Your heart aches a little bit at the look he gives you. It's a platonic ache, of course. Or at the very least, it isn't an erotic one. It doesn't really make you want to have sex with him anyway. But if you could lean forward and press your lips to his—platonically—then you definitely would.

Suo's civilian friendships are complicated by his double life. Quite unusually for yakuza, Suo’s syndicate insists on using pseudonyms and false histories to avoid anti-yakuza laws, on the off-chance that the police decide to do their jobs and actually enforce those laws someday. Lying for comedy is one of Suo’s greatest passions, so he was happy to manufacture an absurd backstory: his name is Yanzhao, and he learned kung fu in a Shaolin Temple before moving to Hong Kong and working for the triads. He wears the eyepatch because he lost his eye in an altercation with the cops, which he won. By the way, you're his criminally beautiful wife who he met in Macau. The two of you had to leave for Japan since he killed a police officer and now he's wanted by the governments of both China and Hong Kong. Also, he's a very devoted husband, so if anyone lays a hand on you, he’ll kill them too.

Somehow, everyone has bought into this story. Every criminal organisation in the red light district now fears a high-ranking yakuza known as Yanzhao, who is easily recognizable by his eyepatch and tassel earrings, and who is also homicidally obsessed with his beautiful wife.

In some ways, his infamy is convenient. No one wants to fuck with Suo, or with you by extension. But it also poses some issues: Suo has to keep a low profile in areas controlled by rival organisations, or else he might be ambushed. It also means he cannot easily go out and see his old friends. Even though he always masquerades as a civvie when he does, wearing stud earrings and a glass eye, it's still a little risky—especially since he likes to visit the strongest member of Roppo-Ichiza. While Roppo-Ichiza aren’t yakuza, they're still han-gure, so some of its more criminally entangled members might recognize him anyway.

But Sakura himself, bless him, has not put two and two together and figured out that Suo Hayato and Gui Yanzhao are the same person. This is partly because Suo lies very convincingly about his fictional career in the tea industry, but you think it's also because Sakura is so gullible it's endearing.

I use the glass eye now because it's better for networking, Suo had explained before Sakura could interrogate him too much, his voice too smooth and too quick for the other man to get in a word edgewise. My business partners find the eyepatch too silly. The tassel earrings too. By the way, would you like some Baimudan tea? I thought of you when I smelled it—I know you like fragrant things—so I picked some up for you on my last visit to China. I was there for business a couple of weeks ago.

He, of course, neglected to mention that said business involved meeting with the 14K triad.

Despite the enormity of Suo's omission (lie), Sakura is none the wiser whenever he meets with you. He thinks you're just a regular hostess who has freedom of movement and various other human rights, and that Suo’s just a regular guy who isn’t homicidally obsessed with you (a detail of Suo's fabricated life story that is unfortunately grounded in reality). All this to say, Sakura doesn't think twice about mentioning the fact that you have a routine of going to love hotels after work.

Suo, as always, remains calm in the face of unsettling information. He sets down his tea (just tea, without shochu), and politely says, “Pardon?” He's once again using the nonchalant kind of tone that suggests mortal danger.

“She's always going to love hotels after her shifts.” Sakura is frowning at you, pink but scowling. “I thought you said you were done with that stuff. You promised us you wouldn't do it anymore. Suo—are you really okay with this?”

On the one hand, you find it exceptionally sweet that Sakura, after all this time, remembers your promise and wishes to hold you to it. He was so worried about you when you started having those nervous breakdowns as a teenager, and he probably still is. On the other hand, you're shitting bricks at the fact that Suo is now aware of your activities. Because sure, he likely won't fuck with Keisei Street—but you realise, as he stares at you, that you can't be certain of this. After all, your fake yakuza husband has very real homicidal urges.

“Um,” you say. “It's just business.”

“Business,” Suo repeats.

“You don't have to do that stuff to keep good business,” Sakura grouses, unaware of Suo’s carefully suppressed rage. “You're real popular already.”

“Are you?” Suo asks, looking right at you.

“I mean—I told you the pay would be better, right?” you reply, voice oddly high and nervous, and this is when Sakura notices that something is wrong.

“Oh,” Sakura says, looking between the two of you. “Suo, you didn't know?”

“I didn't,” he says. “Actually, she told me specifically that she wasn't going to do that if she worked here.” He turns to you, still smiling. “That's the only reason why I allowed this at all, remember?”

A chill travels down your spine. You did, in fact, commit to a perpetually sexless lifestyle in order to be granted some semblance of freedom: Of course I won't sleep with any customers, you'd said. You know I don't really like doing that anyway. I promise I'll behave! I’ll be out of the clubs and right back home. Sakura said he’d make sure I’ll get to a cab safely after the bar closes and everything!

“Um,” you say again, but this time you have no follow-up.

“Wait,” Sakura demands, “what do you mean by ‘allowed her’? What, do you need to give her permission to work now or something?”

Suo smiles disarmingly at Sakura. Without missing a beat, he says, “Generally no. But we’re dating now, which complicates what she’s allowed to do with other men at her job.”

Sakura spits out his drink. You choke on your spit.

“I… um?!” Sakura’s staring at you, so you quickly recover. This is a mortifying lie, but it's better than Sakura finding out just how batshit Suo has become since his school days. “I thought we were going to keep that a secret, dear?”

“Ah, you're right. Sorry, I got too excited.” Suo gives you an endeared look before turning to Sakura. “We were going to keep it to ourselves unless we got serious about it. But we've been talking about marriage lately, so I thought it was fine to mention.”

“...”

You’re going to have an aneurysm. Why does every cover that Suo comes up with involve a marital relationship between the two of you?!

“Oh… holy shit.” Sakura’s expression is complicated—somehow, more complicated than yours, even though you’re the one getting cornered into a fake engagement. It's unbelievable how shy he still is about this kind of thing. Maybe it’s just particularly embarrassing since he's known you two for so long, you reason. Regardless, he remembers his social cues enough to say, “Congrats, guys. That's great. That's really great.”

Suo gazes fondly at you across the table. “We were thinking you could be our best man,” he adds, and you consider violently kicking his leg.

“O-oh. Uh, yeah! Sure! But what about Nirei?”

“Rather than having a maid of honour,” you say reflexively, used to lying through your teeth for Suo, “we’d like him to be our best man as well.”

“Oh. That makes sense.” Thrown off guard, Sakura completely forgets about the love hotel business. He whips out his phone. “When were you thinking of having your wedding? I'll put it in my calendar.”

“I’m not sure.” Suo turns to you. “What were we thinking again, dear?”

You're going to die. You're going to die and it's a good thing because if you survive this embarrassment, your future will be bleak. As soon as Nirei finds out about this, he’ll want to start helping you with wedding planning, and then it would just be too awkward to cancel things. You’ll have to enter a fake marriage with Suo, which will be completely sexless, because even with a vow of everlasting love, there are still too many concrete and materially consequential reasons for not sleeping with him.

Condemning yourself to a lifetime of sexual frustration, you reply, “I think we were talking about a summer wedding.”

The drive home is awkward.

Hanzo and Shuuhei pick the two of you up. Suo mentioned that he wanted to talk to you and you alone, so they bring the Rolls Royce with the privacy suite. The two of them are entirely cut off from you thanks to the soundproofing, which traps you with Suo, who’s drinking a bottle of oolong tea as the two of you sit in complete silence. You think he's waiting for you to squirm—which you do.

You stay like that for five, agonising minutes before Suo finally says, “So you're sleeping with your customers.”

You swallow. “Yes.”

“For business?”

“Yes.”

“How much do you make?”

You blink. “Huh?”

“How much do you get paid for a single night of work, including gifts that your customers give you in exchange for sleeping with them?”

You're halfway through citing your earnings when you realise where he's going with this.

“So you make less than you did at Red Dragon,” Suo concludes, “and you're very smart with your money, so I know you know that, and you probably went into this knowing that you'd end up at a net loss.” He turns to you, gives you a look so sharp that it almost scares you. All made worse by his civilian disguise, which makes him feel unfamiliar. His glass eye shines strangely in the light, and his scar tissue is hidden by the makeup you helped apply. You wish he'd taken it all off before having this conversation.

“So,” he says, “what’s the real reason you changed jobs?”

Already knowing that he’ll figure you out sooner or later, you admit, “I just wanted to start having sex again.”

Suo blinks. “You… what?”

“I wanted to have sex with people,” you repeat. “I hadn't been touched for nearly two years, okay? I needed to get laid or else I'd go insane.” You cross your arms and look away, suddenly feeling petulant. “I'm sure you've noticed that our arrangement makes it impossible for me to see people.”

He doesn't answer, because of course he's noticed. He’d designed his house rules with precisely this intent. If he accompanies you everywhere you go, then you can't exactly go on dates, and you definitely can't meet people for sex. Not unless you feel like having Suo watch as some anonymous guy fucks you, and you don't. As hot as the idea is, it’s definitely not platonic behaviour, and it would probably trigger the whole homicidal obsession thing.

“Do you like it?” Suo asks, startling you. You look at him, confused.

“What?”

“Do you enjoy having sex with your customers?” he asks. His voice and gaze are even. Unrelenting. “Does it make you happy?”

You stare at him, a deer caught in headlights. You didn't expect Suo to actually care about whether you enjoyed it or not, and you didn't really expect to care yourself either. But truthfully, you hated it. You simply weren't feeling it with most of your customers and avoided intercourse with all but one. Then in that one case you let someone earnestly fuck you, it was a complete letdown. Possibly the worst sex you'd ever had. You spent the whole time watching the clock, wondering how long it would take, and it turned out that your hookup had remarkable stamina but absolutely no technique. To pass the time, and in an attempt to feel something, you tried to imagine it was someone else who was inside you. You cycled through a whole list of people, including all of your exes, a few of your past customers, every single member of BTS, and then—finally, inevitably—your long-time friend, roommate, and landlord.

To your complete horror, when you imagined that it was Suo who had you folded in half, his cock so deep inside you that you could feel it in your throat, you came so hard that you drenched the sheets.

You lay there afterward as your customer showered, alone in the bed. Normally you'd be getting dressed at that point, but you were too distracted. You kept thinking about what it would feel like to be held by Suo after having your guts rearranged by him—embraced tenderly like you know he would do with you, kissing him platonically like you've always wanted to do with him—and you realised that you didn’t actually want to have sex with anyone else. Despite all your life experience, sexual experience, and job experience—in that moment, you felt like a lonely nineteen year old girl who wanted nothing more than to have romantic, vanilla sex with her best friend, but who was instead having impersonal, disappointing sex with various salarymen.

This was a feeling so disgusting that you’ve decided to never tell anyone at any cost.

“Yeah, it's fine. I guess I like it.” You pretend to study your nails. “Sometimes I cum, which is all I really want.”

Suo keeps staring at you. “That’s it?” he asks, voice measured and careful. You raise a brow, playing dumb.

“What do you mean?”

“That's all you want? Just to get off?”

You gaze out the window, trying not to look at his lips.

“Yes, that's all.”

No matter how batshit Suo gets, he always maintains a certain kindness and maturity in how he handles conflict with you. It's a lesson that he learned from his master, which has perhaps been distorted over time, but remains important to him nevertheless.

If you do something upsetting, Suo is never forceful about getting you to act differently. Sure, he has fucked up ways of either getting you to behave or making you understand the consequences of your actions, and perhaps he has his manipulative moments. It was probably not a good thing that he coaxed you into indefinite house arrest, for instance. But he never threatens you, and he never hits you, and he never disrespects you. In fact, more than anything, he makes it a point to never let you feel like you aren't loved.

So when Suo abandons you after that conversation in the Rolls Royce, you lose your fucking mind.

Suo doesn’t come home in the days following that evening, without any note nor explanation. For the first time in years, he stops replying to your texts. Your immediate thought is that he's been gravely injured or perhaps even killed, which sends you into a panicked spiral. But every one of his men who's come by to check on you has implied otherwise—but I'm not allowed to tell you anything else, anesan, I’m sorry, they all say. And when you realise that Suo is actually fine and he's just playing a fucked up mind game with you, one that makes you feel distinctly unloved, you feel simultaneously heartbroken and apoplectic. The man is not allowed to corner you into de facto imprisonment and then just fucking leave. In fact, if he tries, you might imprison him.

You spend a few days sitting at home and crying over this, as well as torturing yourself by thinking about useless things (fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, et cetera). But eventually, you get tired of wallowing in self-inflicted misery, and you decide to just track your fake husband down. His men have been adamant about not letting you out of their sight—presumably so you don’t fuck any more of your customers, because Suo can be spiteful like that—so you have to be strategic about your plan to find him.

You decide to do it during work. You tap out in the middle of a shift, feigning illness, so nobody bats an eye when you put on the most shapeless hoodie you own and throw on a face mask. Your chauffeurs (handlers) don't notice as you sneak off—and for the first time in years, you walk through the red light district all alone.

It feels strange not to be protected, and even stranger not to be surveilled. You marvel at the unfamiliar experience of complete freedom, and at the possibility of being able to run off and disappear if you so wished. But you don't, of course. Not only do you care too deeply for Suo to abandon him, you're also pretty sure he has your driver’s licence and ID card locked up somewhere. At least you haven't been able to find them, and Suo was oddly evasive about it when you asked. (I haven't seen them, he'd said, but I don't think you’d need either of those things immediately, anyway, do you? And you nodded in response, because it was true that you liked being his passenger princess too much to care about your licence.)

So rather than bolting for the subway, you head straight to your old workplace. The gleaming doors of Red Dragon welcome you as you cross its threshold, and you're greeted immediately by the scent of luxury colognes and expensive cigars—both evoking a strange nostalgia in you. Even the click of your heels against the marble floor feels familiar. You realise that you've missed the place despite its cutthroat culture and its owner’s authoritarian control over you, which you suppose isn't surprising. This club was more or less your home for years and, thanks to said owner, was the safest place you've ever worked.

And being that you feel you've returned to your very safe home, you don't expect it when you're abruptly stopped by the bouncer.

“Can I help you?” he asks, his arm in your way. You don't recognize him, but you see the edges of his irezumi peeking out from the rolled-up cuffs of his shirt.

“Yeah, actually,” you say. “I'm looking for Gui Yanzhao. Is he here right now?”

The bouncer—or chinpira, you guess—bristles.

“You're looking for who?”

“Yanzhao?” you say impatiently. “Eyepatch, tassel earrings? Owner of the club? Probably your boss?”

The bouncer steps forward and reaches for something in his pocket, which makes you suddenly nervous, and also makes you realise that in a hoodie and a face mask, you ordinarily wouldn't be allowed in this club, let alone into the room of its yakuza owner. You're so used to VIP treatment here that you simply forgot.

You take a step back. “Um. I think there's been a misunderstanding.” You lower your face mask, which doesn't help as you've never met this man, and he must be new. You’ll need to complain to Suo about his onboarding process later, if you aren't killed before you can find him.

It turns out that this yakuza rookie has a knife in his pocket, which is not the worst thing he could have been carrying, but is also not the best. You're getting ready to run in the other direction when a more senior member of the gang comes by. He gives you a startled look, which then turns alarmed when he sees his younger brother’s knife.

“Anesan!” he yells hurriedly, and he snatches the chinpira’s knife straight from his hand. His lunge for the weapon turns into a hurried bow. He pulls his colleague—whose face has turned very white in a very short amount of time—into an even deeper one. They look on the verge of prostrating.

“Oh, Yamashita. Hi! Is this guy new?”

“Yes! My sincerest apologies for my younger brother’s idiocy, and his insolence in raising a weapon at you.” There's a sheen of sweat on the back of his neck. “If you would like him to atone, then he would be more than happy to—”

“No, that's fine. I'd really like him to keep all his fingers.” If you have to see a rookie cut off his pinkie today, you think you might actually change your mind on running away. Fuck your documents—Suo can keep them. Surely life without proof of identity can't be that hard. “By the way,” you say, trying to change the topic before Yamashita can suggest alternative acts of atonement, “have you seen my husband?”

Yamashita hesitates at your question, looks conflicted. You feel a little bad for him, and for every other gang member who needs to worry about accidentally offending Suo. You watch him sweat for a full ten seconds before he says, “You can follow me. But anesan, you might find it unpleasant upstairs. I can find someone to drive you home instead, if you'd like.”

You give him a funny look. This was your workplace for a very long time—you can’t think of many things that would happen here that might seriously upset you. “What, is he cheating on me?” you guess.

“What? No! Aniki would never!” Yamashita seems genuinely shocked at the suggestion. “He's crazy about you!”

“Then I'm sure he’ll be happy to see me,” you say, although given that he's ignored your texts for four days straight, you aren't so sure. Regardless, this seems to be good enough reasoning for Yamashita, and you’re taken to the top floor of Red Dragon. You ponder the whole time, on the elevator ride up, just what exactly Suo’s been up to that's made Yamashita this nervous about letting you see him.

Then the door opens, and you’re given your answer in the form of several body bags—all cleanly zipped up and conscientiously laid out in front of the elevators in a single, neat row. A sight that is significantly worse than a rookie cutting off his pinkie finger.

“Oh,” you say faintly. You try not to throw up. “So this is why he hasn't been home.”

“Exactly!” Yamashita replies, beaming. “See, anesan, I told you. He'd never cheat on you!”

Suo is in the lounge of the top floor, which has been cleared of both civilians and corpses for the night. He's sitting on one of the couches, leaning back with his one eye closed, as if asleep. The golden tassels of his earrings are draped over the expensive leather of his seat, intertwined with his dark hair. A cup of tea sits in front of him, steaming. Even this far away, you recognize it by the scent alone: jasmine, probably from Longjing. One of the most expensive blends he has, and that which he saves for days he’s stressed, though he never admits it when he is.

The sight of him would almost look tranquil, except for all the blood on his knuckles and his cuffs.

Off to the side, two of his younger brothers are chatting away. One is pouring cups of some doubtlessly expensive liquor, and the other is smoking a cigar. There's karaage on the table too. You recognize all of this as part of a ritual that some of the guys like to do after a hit or a shootout, not dissimilar to getting ramen or McDonald’s after going to a club.

You catch a bit of their conversation as you approach. One of them holds up the liquor bottle (Isojiman sake, you now recognise from your girls’ bar days, one of the rarer bottles costing around nine million yen) and asks Suo if he wants to join. “No thanks,” he says predictably, “I'm on a diet.” Then he turns and looks right at you—startling you, because you had thought you were being fairly quiet—and gives you a smile so genuine that it reminds you of his Furin days. “Would my beautiful wife like to drink for me, though?”

“No thanks,” you reply, “but your beautiful wife would like to talk to you.”

The two guys clear out to give you some privacy. You’re left alone with Suo, feeling awkward after several days of resenting him for no reason. (You’d rather die than go to therapy, but the whole fear of abandonment thing is probably something you should start addressing.) You don't even know where you want to sit. Eventually, you settle for placing yourself next to him, which is a decision that Suo quickly overturns by pulling you into his lap.

A flutter erupts in your stomach as he settles you on top of him. This physiological reaction is absurd, as not even ten minutes ago, you were trying not to throw up at the line of corpses in front of the elevator. It should also scare you somewhat that Suo’s hands—delicately adjusting your body—are still covered in blood. But truthfully, you can't help but be happy when he makes you feel so loved.

You take one of the napkins on the table and start wiping at his knuckles. Tenderly, in case they're bruised or skinned.

“You didn't call or come home,” you start.

“I thought it would be too dangerous.”

You frown, thinking of all the bodies outside. “Was this a rival organisation?”

“No. They were ours.” He sighs. “A succession conflict. There are a few people who don't like how I'll run things if I take over.”

You nod. Suo is very old-fashioned in his ideals about the yakuza, which you think is an imprint of his master’s influence, and something that appeals to his current ‘father’. He values chivalry. He likes protecting the weak. His filial devotion to his deceased master has now extended to every member of his yakuza family, especially his oyassan. He’s almost certainly the top candidate for taking over after the oyabun dies, but being that part of his old-fashioned principles excludes lucrative projects such as sex trafficking, you suppose it’s natural that some people in his organisation would prefer him dead rather than in charge.

“You’ve never ghosted me during violent conflicts before though,” you say. “I was worried that something happened to you. Or that you were upset with me.”

Suo’s hand drops to your waist, pulling you a little closer.

“They knew where we live. They tried to get to you, you know.” Your eyes widen in alarm, so he cups your face with a palm. His thumb glides along your cheek, and your response is almost Pavlovian: your heart rate immediately slows at the comfort of his touch. “It’s fine. They won't bother you ever again.” The cheerful smile returns. “And if anyone else ever does, I'll handle them too.”

Your heart swells. Enthusiastic pledges of murder are not a healthy sign of affection, but after so much loneliness—whether from the past several days, or the years before that, you aren't sure—you can't find it in yourself to be disturbed. You feel and sound painfully fond when you reply, “I know.”

Suo’s expression dims a little then. “I thought you'd like the space anyway.”

“What?” You give him a confused look. You have never once given him any indication that you want even an inch of space from him. You'd crawl into his ribcage if you could. “Why would you think that?”

“I thought you felt suffocated. You left my club just so you could have sex with other people.” You blink, lingering on his wording. Other people. He continues before you can ask about it, sighing, “You didn't even ask me who I'd give permission to touch you. You just went ahead and decided on your own.”

“...”

You try not to look disturbed. Suo’s apparent wish to control your sexual decisions is news to you, and somehow more alarming than the murder pledge. And even worse—you immediately clench in response to his words. The thought of Suo dictating who does and doesn't get to touch your cunt is… well, your mind is heading in a distinctly non-platonic direction.

Trying to ignore the heat in between your thighs (but at the same time encouraging it), you ask: “Who would you have been, um, okay with touching me?”

“Sakura or Nirei,” he says immediately. “Though only Sakura would be interested.”

“What.” You gape at him, all arousal forgotten. “Bullshit. He would never.”

“Yes, he would.” Suo tilts his head. “Haven't you noticed?”

“I don't think there's anything to notice? And also—he’s so shy, I don't think he'd ever agree even if he were interested!” You give him a bewildered look. “He couldn't even look at us when we said we were getting married, he was so embarrassed!”

“Embarrassed?” Suo stares at you, an amused glint in his eye. “Is that what you thought was going on?”

“Was there anything else?”

He studies you for a moment, clearly entertained but not explaining why. “Well—it’s fine,” he says. “It doesn't matter for now. Especially since he's helping us plan a wedding and all.”

You make a face. “I still can't believe that's the cover you went for.”

“Are you upset with it?” he asks smoothly, and you huff and say yes, but from his sly look, you think he knows it's a lie.

Naturally, you deflect before he can further interrogate you. “So, given that you are now my fiancé, am I no longer allowed to work on Keisei Street and see customers after my shifts?”

You don’t expect it when Suo says, “No, you can.”

You stare. “What?”

“You can keep seeing customers if you'd like. You said it makes you happy, so why would I stop you?” Suo’s brow furrows, his usual calm replaced with concern. “Do you really think I do the things I do to make you miserable?”

Guilt gnaws at your heart. He looks so disappointed. “No,” you tell him. “I just thought it'd make you miserable that I was sleeping with people without your permission.” It is partly why you hid it from him in the first place, after all. You don't like to see him sad—you’re still haunted by the deep grief he was in, after your master died—and also, his misery tends to bring bodily harm to other people these days.

Cognizant of both concerns, you ask, “You’re really okay with me sleeping with my customers? I can stop, if you want.”

“No, it’s fine. I still don't like it, but you can continue for now if you want.”

Suo’s mouth curls—not in a gentle way, as has been his expression since seeing you walk in, but in a way that sets off your flight or fight response.

“I'm sure we’ll reach a mutual understanding soon enough.”

END PART 1

thank you genuinely if you read all that because this is a deranged au and I still can't believe I wrote it sldfkjsldfkj. please do let me know if you enjoyed my yandere suo delusions. sorry there was no smut in this chapter. I promise there is a ton in the next one (probably too much... lol. it's a 10k chapter and literally half of those words are about orgasm denial sldfkjalskdjdf). it's completely written and I hope to edit and have it up by next week!

also here is glossary of terms and world building notes if you are interested!

tagging @kweenkatsuki-fics !! <3

[moonlit-imagines]

What’s Love Got To Do With It?

Bruce Wayne x reader

warnings: alcohol!

a/n: SOWWY THIS TOOK SO LONG AND IS SO SHORT!!!!

prompt: @sacredwarrior88: “Song: What’s Love Got To Do With It? Artist: Tina Turner Character/Group: Bruce Wayne Relationship: Romantic”

You and Bruce weren’t too fond of public appearances, especially when certain newspaper columns raved about the “most eligible bachelor” for years and always took your relationship as a phase or Bruce’s rather than what it was—real and genuine.

Bruce led you down the stairs at the gala and gave you a comforting glance, reminding you that no one’s gossip should come between you two. You squeezed his hand and smiled for the cameras, hoping they got your good angles. “So, how long do we need to stay?” You whispered in his ear.

“The whole time.” He chuckled. “It’s our event.” You gave him an already exhausted look and nodded with a defeated smile. Perfect timing—a server with a tray of champagne flutes. “Here, this’ll help.” He grabbed one for each of you and watched you light up as you grabbed the glass.

“You’re right about that.” You took a sip and slipped your arm under his, leaning your head on his shoulder. “I think I might be able to survive this—if you stay by my side.”

“You don’t have anything to worry about.” Bruce assured, kissing the top of your head before you tilted it up and gave him a doubtful look. “Barbara is running things tonight, they’ll only call if it’s an emergency.” You hummed a chuckle and took a look around the busy room. Dozens of high-profile people enjoying the gala you and Bruce had put on together. Truly, most were surprised you and him had lasted this long. Even more so that you were putting on parties together.

“Beautiful night you’ve put together!” A woman you’d forgotten the name of complimented as she walked by.

“Bruce, I see y/n’s made an honest man out of you!” A man you’d never met told your partner and heard his fake laugh in response. “Hold onto them, I’d love to see how you throw together a wedding!” And the sound of that made your heart flutter, even if the man was being superficial.

“Our wedding.” You squeezed his arm and giggled ar the idea, making him red in the face. “I agree. I’d love to see what we throw together.”

“So would I.”

taglist: @captainshazamerica // @cipheress-to-k-pop // @the-did-i-ask // @azazel-nyx // @summersimmerus // @deanzboyfriend // @zoeyserpentluck // @mr-mxyzptlk-1940 //

[sillymommy6969]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝕱RIENDLY FIRE

Lara Raj x fem!reader

summary: when lara and fellow katseye member, y/n made an arrangement months ago, they didn’t factor in the amount of time they spent together as bandmates. now, breaching the no strings attached aspect of their relationship seems to be troubling more than the two of them

warnings: harsh language, suggestive/sexual themes, angst, mean! 𝕰 lara, jealous/possessive!lara, manipulation

Lara Raj could arguably be the single reason Y/N worked so hard to debut in Katseye. Sure, it had been her absolute dream growing up to be an artist, especially alongside bandmates as wonderful as the girls, but Lara Raj was just… different.

When Katseye first debuted, Lara and Y/N found themselves spending more time with each other… alone. They seemed to be paired together for a lot of promotions, performances and award shows. So one day, when the two of them were alone in the dressing room, something between them shifted.

But it would get complicated, especially with the dating ban in place for another eleven months.

So in between breathy kisses and stringed moans, with Lara standing between Y/N’s legs and her hands anchoring the younger member’s hips to the vanity table, the Indian singer proposed a simple, yet eventually lethal, arrangement; with no strings attached, they would be teammates with benefits.

At first, it was easy. Sneaking around while the girls were asleep or occupied with some crazy thing on their schedule.

But then, when promotions became more frequent and practices began flooding in before tons of award shows, it was becoming harder and harder to find just a sliver of time to sneak off together. Around the two month mark of their little agreement, Sophia had begun noticing something weird in the air surrounding two particular bandmates.

When the girls had their weekly movie nights, Y/N would offer to grab some snacks and drinks as the others chose a movie to watch. Lara would then make some lazy excuse to leave the group as well, and neither of them would return until the movie had started. Luckily, the girls were always too busy bickering and fighting over what movie to watch to notice. But amidst her attempts in mediating the childish drama, Katseye’s leader was picking up more than she initially intended to.

Just last month before an iheartradio conference, Y/N had to go to the bathroom to ease her nerves.

She notified Sophia, who offered to come with to help calm the frantic drumming of her heart, but the younger member declined politely. But then, Lara would tell Manon she’s going to check on little Y/N to make sure she was okay. And the eldest Katz didn’t pay her much mind.

Just before they were seated for the podcast, Lara and Y/N returned. The older’s hair was no longer neat and proper, but instead, messy and loose.

Y/N’s lips were swollen, her cheeks slightly flushed and her fingers tugging up her collar to hide the darkening beside peaking from her chest.

Sophia was not one to meddle in another’s affair, and certainly not romantic or sexual ones of or between her bandmates. But when the two would get distracted by each other or sneak off just a little too long, she needed to let them know before either of them got in trouble. So, she decided to casually bring it up with Lara one time during breakfast.

“Look, I don’t care if you guys are dating or whatever, but you need to be more careful before you get caught.”

Lara raised an eyebrow, scoffing in amusement at the leader’s statement. “What? What’re you talking about?”

“You and Y/N. I know there’s something going on between the two of you and you’re getting a little sloppy with the hiding.”

Silence rung for a moment, before Lara laughed.

“Oh no, you’ve got us all wrong.” She continued laughing, much to a confused Sophia’s dismay. “Y/N and I aren’t dating or anything. We’re just… y’know, hooking up. There’s no feelings or whatever, it’s just sex. Don’t worry that big head of yours, Laforteza.”

Sophia pressed her lips together in a thin line, watching the Indian make herself a cup of coffee.

“That’s really messy, Lara. Y’know Y/N’s much more fragile than you, she can’t hide her secrets as well as you do,” Sophia scolded, “Just the other day, she strolled into dinner with vickie’s down her cleavage, you’re lucky I covered her back up when I gave her a hug before the other girls noticed.”

“Sophia, relax.” Lara grunted, “It’s fine.”

“We don’t need a scandal already, we’re still in promotions for Debut.” The older crossed her arms, “I’m laying down some ground rules. No fucking in between schedules or in the house when we’re all here. I don’t want the others getting dragged in the middle of this if things get messy.”

Lara rolled her eyes, “Whatever. Is that it, you dictator?”

“Yes. I’m protecting you and Y/N, okay? Be careful.”

That was exactly four months ago. Katseye’s one year debut was just around the corner, but the girls were getting a little disorganized. The group’s dynamic had suffered a seething hit around the six month mark.

When Y/N sat atop the HYBE bathroom counter, catching her heavy breath, she watched Lara shrug her pants back on lousily and buckle her belt.

Y/N loved those jeans on Lara, it accentuated her torso, especially paired with the tight black corset top she was wearing. She loved the way her rings were cool against her hot skin when they were pressed flush against each other. Her lipgloss was smeared and her arms flexed as she brushed herself off in the mirror.

“Lara, baby… is everything okay?”

Lara wiped the corner of her mouth with her finger, pursing her lips towards her reflection. “Don’t call me that. You should get dressed, we need to be at rehearsal in three.”

Y/N swallowed thickly, fixing the fallen strap of her top.

She didn’t say anything, grabbing her pants off the counter. She hopped off, slipping them off quickly as she eyed Lara fixing her makeup here and there.

Lara had never been the easiest person to handle. Their arrangement had started out simple enough, but as time went on, things began to shift. Lara’s attitude had begun to change, too. Her playful teasing around their friends trying get her hot and flustered around people turned into sharp, almost cruel remarks, her flirtations increasingly possessive, and her behavior unpredictable.

Y/N had tried to ignore it. After all, Lara wasn’t the easiest person to confront, and Y/N didn’t want to ruin what they had going. But this time was different. The line had been crossed, and the younger member couldn’t pretend anymore that everything was okay. She needed to put her foot down, but she didn’t know how.

When she finally turned away from the mirror to shove her lipgloss back into her pocket, she felt Y/N gently grab her arm.

“Wait, can we just… stay here a little longer? Please?”

Lara glared down at her, but she wasn’t really in a mood to argue so she reluctantly agreed. As Y/N fixed her own look in the mirror, Lara leant against the counter with her arms crossed. She eyed Y/N’s neck, a litter of red bruises scattered down from behind her ears to her chest. Thankfully, as sheer as the top Y/N was wearing was, her hair covered most of the hickeys. And as much as that was breaking her own rule, Lara couldn’t deny the fact she loved seeing Y/N all marked up.

Y/N turned towards her, lips curled into the adorable smile everybody knew and loved.

“Ready for the new choreo? Megan’s been really excited for it, she won’t stop pestering me about it.” Y/N chuckled, running her slender, ringed fingers through her hair.

Eugh, Megan. She was always so happy and nice to Y/N with a stupid smile on her face. It was real fucking annoying.

“Yeah, it’s the only thing going for her in her life.”

Y/N bit her lip at the mean remark. She never understood Lara’s one-sided beef with Megan. They used to be roommates, but a couple months in, Lara was growing easily irritated by Megan’s antics. Eventually, they switched out roommates, so Lara was bunking with Manon and Daniela, with Y/N rooming with Megan.

Since the room switch, Megan and Y/N grew really close.

They were inseparable, best friends, and recently, Lara noticed Y/N was more confident in turning her down when she wanted to go on a late night drive up to Lover’s Point.

“I’m having dinner at my parents tonight. Be ready by seven and I’ll pick you up so we can stay there for the night.” Lara said, “Bring a jacket, we can go out for dessert.”

Y/N gulped thickly, watching as Lara got up to leave.

“I—I’m actually going to a movie with Megan tonight. There’s this new one coming out she’s been meaning to see and we wanted to go tonight ‘cuz it’s our off day.” She stated timidly, hearing everything fall silent before Lara stepped back towards her. The Indian had changed into a more fierce expression. She neared a fearful Y/N with each step, until the younger’s back met the bathroom wall.

“You’re blowing me off for Megan again?” she barked.

Y/N turned away, feeling her heart racing at the feeling of Lara’s breath fanning her cheek. One of Lara’s arms raised, holding her weight up against the wall beside Y/N’s head.

“She’s been really looking forward to this, I—!”

“No, you’re gonna tell Megan you’re gonna have to reschedule. I don’t give a fuck if it’s the most amazing movie ever made, you’re coming home with me tonight, you got that?” Lara said through gritted teeth. “You want me to go talk to her myself? Hm? You want me to go fuck her shit up so she’ll stop making you go out with her when you wanna be with me?”

Y/N shook her head, feeling Lara’s fingers grip her hips.

Her fingers were grabbing so hard at the exposed flesh of her hips, Y/N swore finger dents were etched into her flesh.

“Good girl,” Lara smirked, grabbing Y/N’s chin between her fingers. “Now, we’re gonna go to practice and you’re gonna talk to Megan Skiendel about tonight, understood?”

Lara leant in to kiss Y/N, but the girl shrugged her off, gently pushing her away.

“Lara,” Y/N said, her voice barely coming out as a whimper. She was already rehearsing the words in her head, but they felt foreign. “We should talk.”

Lara furrowed her eyebrows. “About what?”

Y/N exhaled, cheeks flushed. “About this… about us.”

Lara’s smirk faltered slightly, her posture shifting. “Us? What about us? Are you fucking someone else?”

Y/N’s heart sank at the possessive tone, but she refused to back down. “That’s the thing, Lara. I’m giving you so much of myself and my time, but you make me work around your schedule and you get mad at me when I try and spend my time with my friends. You don’t want to be exclusive, but you also get mad at me when I talk to other people. I don’t want to be with you. Not like that. I don’t want this anymore.”

Lara’s face twisted into a mixture of confusion and anger. “Excuse me? You were just screaming my name in our work bathroom five minutes ago.”

“I—I’ve been thinking for a while,” Y/N replied softly, trying to maintain her composure. “And this… it’s not what I want.”

Lara’s eyes narrowed. “So, what, you’re just gonna throw everything away? Just like that? We’ve been through a lot, Y/N. You can’t just walk away from this.”

Y/N bit her lip, feeling the weight of the words she was about to say. “You’ve been different lately. The way you talk to me, the way you act around me… it’s not the same. You don’t respect me, and I don’t think this is healthy for either of us.”

Lara scoffed, her eyes flashing with irritant. “Respect? Are you kidding me? I’ve been nothing but good to you. I’ve always been here when you needed me, and now you’re just going to throw me away like I’m nothing?”

“I’m not throwing you away,” Y/N said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I just don’t want to be treated like this anymore. You’re hurting me, Lara.”

For a moment, Lara was silent, her expression unreadable. Then she let out a bitter laugh. “Whatever.”

Y/N felt her eyes well with tears, as her fingers fidgeted with the waistband of her baggy sweats. “I’m not scared of you, Lara. I just want peace, and I want respect. If you can’t give me that, then it’s better if we stop.”

The silence that followed was heavy, and Lara’s anger simmered beneath the surface. Y/N could tell that the fight wasn’t over, but she also knew that what she was doing was right. She wasn’t going to allow herself to be bullied anymore.

Lara turned on her heel, her expression cold. “Fine. Have it your way. But don’t come crawling back to me when you realize you’re nothing without me.”

Y/N watched as Lara walked out of the room, the slam of the door echoing in her ears. For a moment, she stood there, unsure of what to feel. Relief, sadness, guilt — a mix of emotions that tangled within her. But deep down, Y/N knew that she had made the right choice.

A little later, during a break in the middle of their practice session, Y/N found herself in the dance studio with her bandmates. The tension from her earlier conversation with Lara still lingered, but the rhythmic beat of the music helped her focus. She would occasionally look over at Lara, who was snapping at anybody who weren’t at their peak, perfect state. Everybody seemed to be walking on eggshells around her, and even their instructor had decided to steer clear of any trouble with the woman. It was time for rehearsal, and she needed to get her mind off things. So, she took a bathroom break.

Only then did the girls truly ease into their break.

Megan was already stretching near the front of the room. Y/N smiled softly as she joined her. Megan was different from Lara. She was patient, kind, and always had Y/N’s back when things got rough. She was also Y/N’s best friend, and the two of them were practically attached to the hip.

“Hey, I haven’t had a chance to talk to you yet.”

Y/N sighed at her roommate’s words, “Sorry, I’ve been busy doing some personal stuff. I actually had a question about the flip routine, I can’t really get down.”

The redhead smiled, “Oh, yeah, girl. I gotcha.”

Megan was close to her, their movements so in sync as they tried out the new routine they were taught. Every step felt effortless, and their bodies became even closer when Megan began helping Y/N with a particular step, their faces just inches apart as they spun in perfect unison.

“You gotta have your leg pulled back like this,” Megan taught, a hand grabbing Y/N’s thigh and pulling her leg back. She was standing behind the older, a hand on her waist and the other along her inner thigh. “When you drop down, you need to land right here, not on your knee or you’ll shatter your knee caps.”

Megan walked around Y/N’s body, grabbing her hips from the front before guiding her to bend downwards to the ground.

Just a couple feet away, Lara wasn’t far behind. She had come back into the studio just as Y/N and Megan were getting closer. Her eyes flicked between the two, her gaze narrowing as she watched them move. Every step, every touch seemed to fuel the fire that was burning inside her. There was something about the way Megan and Y/N moved together that made Lara feel possessive, something that made her blood boil.

When Megan and Y/N collapsed into each other from laughing at how ridiculous the older looked doing the back-bend, Lara’s voice cut through the air, sharp and accusing. “Is this what you’ve been doing when I’m not there, Y/N? Are you letting her fuck you when I’m out?”

Y/N froze, her heart racing as she turned to face Lara, who stood in the doorway with her arms crossed.

Megan glanced at Sophia and the girls for help, before finally sharing a look with Y/N, who just shot her a weary frown.

Y/N took a deep breath, trying to keep her composure. “Lara, please. Not here, okay?”

Lara’s eyes flashed with something dark. “Say it.”

Y/N shook her head, stepping back. “No.”

The room was heavy with the tension, but Y/N stood firm. No more manipulation, no more games. It was time to move forward. And she was ready to do it; with or without Lara.

“Say it, shona,” Lara purred, her piercing eyes burning Y/N’s body up as the others looked to Sophia for help.

The rehearsal space fell into a tense silence after Lara’s outburst, and Y/N felt the weight of the moment settle heavily on her shoulders. Her chest was tight, her breath shallow. She had said what she needed to say to Lara, but she wasn’t prepared for the fallout. The other band members exchanged glances, all trying to avoid stepping into the middle of the drama that had clearly erupted between the two of them.

Sophia had seen enough. Her patience, always thin when it came to unnecessary drama, was wearing dangerously thin now. She had warned Lara about this happening, she had warned her about involving the group—and now the staff—in their drama.

“Lara, Y/N, both of you. Now. In the back room. Figure it out. I won’t have this mess in the studio.”

Y/N opened her mouth to protest, but Sophia’s glare silenced her. She couldn’t help but feel a surge of guilt; after all, she’d been the one to end things with Lara. But the tension had grown too unbearable to ignore.

Lara, with her usual defiance, scowled but didn’t argue. She stood up, and Y/N followed her, albeit reluctantly. The room was small, dimly lit, and devoid of any distractions. The door clicked shut behind them, leaving them both in a silence that neither of them knew how to break.

Y/N leaned against the far wall, arms crossed protectively over her chest, trying to hold onto the calm she had found earlier. Lara stood near the center of the room, her eyes on the floor, her posture rigid. For a long moment, neither of them spoke. Y/N’s mind raced, and she couldn’t stop replaying their argument. She still couldn’t believe how quickly things had escalated, how everything had shifted in such a short time. She wasn’t angry anymore; she was just… confused. But there was also a part of her that was deeply sad. She had never expected Lara to take things this far.

Finally, Lara spoke, her voice quieter than usual. She sounded to soft. So vulnerable. “Why the fuck do you do this shit?”

Y/N blinked, caught off guard by the sudden shift. “What?”

“Fuck, you drive me fucking crazy,” Lara muttered, still avoiding Y/N’s gaze. “Such a fucking brat, all you do is drive me closer and closer to the edge.”

Y/N shook her head. “Lara, I never—”

“Just stop,” Lara interrupted, her voice tight. “I can’t fucking stand you doing all that. Just making silly little plans with Megan and letting her grope you in the middle of our practice.”

Y/N’s brows furrowed in confusion. “But Megan’s my roommate—my best friend. Why are you so angry?”

Lara finally lifted her eyes, meeting Y/N’s gaze for the first time since the argument began. Her eyes were darker, filled with something Y/N hadn’t expected to see there: vulnerability.

“Fuck, I never thought I’d feel this way. About you. But I do.” Lara’s words came out in a rush, as if the truth had been choking her, fighting to get out for far too long. Her emotions spilt from her lips like vomit. “I don’t just want… what we had. I want more. And I know that’s messed up, because I’ve always said ‘no strings attached’, and I don’t know how to make up for it. But fuck, I need you.”

The room felt suddenly smaller, the air thicker as Y/N absorbed Lara’s confession. Her heart thudded loudly in her chest. It wasn’t just a slap of revelation—it was a soft, painful truth that Lara had been too afraid to admit, to both herself and Y/N. It hit Y/N harder than she expected, and she took a shaky breath, her mind spinning. It was horrible; she loved her.

“You… you have feelings for me?” Y/N asked, her voice barely above a whisper. She was afraid to hope, afraid to let herself believe that this could somehow be the reason behind Lara’s erratic behavior.

Lara nodded, her hands twitching at her sides, as if unsure what to do with them. “I didn’t mean for it to happen. I thought I could just keep things casual, keep things light. But then, when I started seeing you with Megan, I realized I want—no, need you to be mine and mine only.”

Y/N’s heart ached. The tenderness in Lara’s voice caught her off guard. She had never seen this side of her before. It wasn’t just the brash, cocky girl who flirted and made everything seem like a game—it was a girl who was, for the first time, laying her heart bare.

“I don’t know how to do this, Y/N,” Lara continued, her voice quiet but earnest. “I don’t know how to show you that I’m sorry, that I care. But I want to be with you, if you’ll let me.”

Y/N swallowed, her throat tight. The weight of Lara’s words, the raw honesty she was witnessing, made everything seem more complicated than it had been just an hour ago. She had walked into this room thinking she would have to hold her ground, but now, everything was different.

“I can’t just forget how you treated me,” Y/N said softly, her voice trembling slightly. “You hurt me, Lara. And I don’t know if I can just brush that aside.”

Lara’s face fell, and for a moment, she looked like she might fall apart. But she took a deep breath, steadying herself. “I know. I know I’ve hurt you. And I don’t expect you to forgive me just like that. But I’m asking for a chance. A real chance. I’m not perfect, Y/N. I’ve never been perfect. But if you’re willing to give me a chance to show you that I can be better… I’ll do whatever it takes.”

Y/N felt a lump form in her throat as she stared at Lara. She could see the sincerity in her eyes, the quiet desperation there. And despite everything, despite all the hurt, there was a part of her that still cared deeply for the girl standing in front of her.

She took a step closer, her voice soft but firm. “I need time. I need space to think about this. I’m not going to just jump back into something with you. But… I won’t shut you out. I just need you to show me that you’re really willing to change.”

Lara nodded, relief washing over her like a wave. “I’ll show you. I promise.”

Lara leant in closer, her breath whispering against Y/N’s ear. Her hands grabbed the younger's thighs, yanking her close until her crotch was pressed against hers as she leant forward. Y/N jumped, letting Lara press her against the wall.

“What’re you doing?” Y/N breathily questioned.

"I’m showing you how much you mean to me," she whispered, her voice husky as she smirked.

Y/N let out a breathy moan, she felt her face grow hot with excitement as Lara’s lips brushed against hers.

They were lost in the rhythm of each other's breathing, their bodies moving in perfect sync like two halves of a whole. Y/N felt herself being pulled closer, her hips grinding against Lara’s. The Indian’s hands cupped the younger’s ass as she swallowed whatever noises leaving the younger's mouth, squeezing gently. Their kiss deepened, their tongues tangling together.

Y/N felt herself getting lost in the sensation, her senses overwhelmed by the taste and smell of Lara. She was aware of nothing else except themselves, lost in this vortex of desire.

Lara’s fingers dug gently into Y/N’s skin as she pulled her closer, their bodies pressing together like puzzle pieces fitting snugly into place. Y/N felt herself being consumed by the heat of Lara’s desire, her own passion igniting like a flame touched to dry kindling. As they broke apart for air, their chests heaving like bellows pumping air into a furnace.

"Oh, shona," Lara panted, her voice husky. "I need you."

Y/N’s eyes flashed with desire as she nodded, her voice barely above a whisper. "Then take me."

And with that, they came together like two magnets drawn to each other's poles. Their bodies crashed together in a whirlwind of passion and desire. Their kisses grew more intense, more insistent, as if they were trying to consume each other whole. Their moans and gasps filled the air, mingling with the sound of rustling fabric and faint echoes of Debut outside.

[kathlare]

The One Where They Get Back Together

Welcome to the masterlist for this phase of Amelie and Lando’s story, set in 2024—a year where they’ve finally found their way back to each other. After years of missed chances, misunderstandings, and unresolved feelings, they are now in a serious and committed relationship. This timeline explores their growth, both individually and together, as they navigate the challenges and joys of being in each other’s lives again.

previous year / next year

Their journey hasn’t been easy—far from it—but it’s exactly what makes this year so meaningful. It’s a story of second chances, healing, and the realization that sometimes, the right person comes back at just the right time.

Thank you so much for reading and being a part of this journey! Your support and love for these two means everything to me, and I hope you enjoy watching them figure it all out (with plenty of laughs, love, and maybe a bit of drama along the way). 💕

full masterlist // request over here!

electric nights

behind the scenes

northern scapes

caught in the silence

fractures in the glass

across the world, for us

between us

taking the leap

fanboy - Eras Tour Melbourne

just us

the sushi test - Bahrain Grand Prix

sneaking glances - Saudi Arabian Grand Prix

caught in th glow - Oscars

tease and temptation

behind the grin - Austalian Grand Prix

reckless realizations

through the storm - Japanese Grand Prix

when the lights fade - Coachella

shifting tides

burning midnight - Chinese Grand Prix

orange chaos

into the spotlight - Miami Grand Prix

golden hour - Met Gala

bed chem

out off the bag - Emilia Romagna Grand Prix

stages of success - Saturday Night Live

virtual connection

drunk words, sober hearts - Monaco Grand Prix

please please please

inked in love - Canadian Grand Prix

surprise in the spotlight - Governor's Ball

between the quite moments

sweet distraction - Spanish Grand Prix

shattered moments - Austrian Grand Prix

balancing act

it's so romantic in paris - British Grand Prix

stage lights & stolen glances - Summertime Ball

echoes of sacrifice - Hungarian Grand Prix

drunk calls

shifting focus - Belgian Grand Prix

homecoming haven

sunsets & sparks

sun, fun and a whole lotta you

mullet madness - Outside Lands Festival

short n' sweet - Short n' Sweet Release Day

even miles apart - Dutch Grand Prix

surprise, baby

fuck papaya rules - Italian Grand Prix

unspoken tension

shattered sparks - Video Music Awards (VMAs)

unspoken words - Azerbaijan Grand Prix

electric feel - Singapore Grand Prix

showtime - Short n' Sweet Opening Night

call it what you want - Amelie's Birthday especial

shit show - United States Grand Prix

a night to remeber - Mexico City Grand Prix

you are enough - Sao Paulo Grand Prix

tears of triumph - Grammy nominations

juno - Lando's Birthday especial

everything as it should be - Short n' Sweet Closing Night

under the neon lights - Las Vegas Grand Prix

thankful for you - Thanksgiving Special

quiet respite - Qatar Grand Prix

tangled in love

papaya on top - Abu Dhabi Grand Prix

shining bright

feeling snowflakes

a symphony of lights

goodbye for now

just six more days

[ghostlyferrettarot]

🌁Pick a Picture:✨️❄️What wishes will come true for you?❄️✨️

•Pile 1 •Pile 2 •Pile 3

✨️Hello! I wanted to say thank you for being a part of my year and for supporting me so much, i am so thankful to everyone that took a little bit of their time to look into my page! I hope you guys have a Happy Holidays and i hope we can still be together next year <3✨️

❗️This is a collective reading, take what resonates and leave the rest❗️

✨️Paid Services ✨️ (Natal charts and tarot readings) Open!

🌸If you like my work you can support me through Ko-fi. Thank you!🌸

🎀Masterlist🎀

⛄Pile 1: The Hanged Man, 5 of Pentacles and Ace of Cups.

Hi pile 1! You are my creative people, and this is a sign that wishes related to creativity, personal growth and the beginning of new projects are on their way to being fulfilled.

There is a vibration of creative abundance and personal power, I feel like you will be stepping into your power, you will be manifesting into reality a creative project that you have been working on for a while.

The next few months will be full of opportunities to expand your mind and your creative nature. If you were waiting for that moment to launch a new idea or project, get ready to see how the universe opens doors for you. This is a period of fertility and manifestation: everything you sow with your effort will manifest successfully. Do not hold back because of doubts, because your power of creation is at its peak.

Wishes that have to do with artistic projects, entrepreneurship or simply personal development will be aligned. Remember that abundance flows to you when you nurture your passions and follow your instincts. It's time to take action and trust your vision.

❄️Song:

⛄Pile 2: The Moon, 4 of Cups and Page of Wands.

Hi pile 2!, there is a strong energy related to love and emotional healing. This pile brings with it the fulfillment of desires linked to emotional healing and deep relationships.

If you have been looking for a deeper type of connection, whether in the romantic realm or in your friendships, this is a time of revelations and healing. You will have more hope, restoration and an energetic flow full of inner peace. Those desires related to the perfect relationship, reconciliation or the feeling of belonging will soon manifest. It is a time to trust that the universe will guide you to what is right for you.

This pile also speaks of the importance of listening to your intuition. If there is something you need to let go or heal, the energy of the Moon is really prominent in this pile, so it suggests that the desire for emotional release will come true. You have the ability to release internal blockages that have prevented you from living love in its purest form. Self-love will also be key in this process. I feel like a significant connection, especially a soulmate one is coming into your way pile 2!

❄️Song:

⛄Pile 3: Death, 8 of Wands and 6 of Wands.

Hi pile 3! this pile indicates that you are in a stage of changes, where desires related to destiny and personal transformation are about to become true. You are going to experience powerful changes that represent life turns and success.

Desires that relate to important life changes and recognitions of success are aligned for you. If you have been waiting for a turn in your destiny, this is the time. Your guides tell you that the cycle is changing, and that what seemed uncertain will now become a golden opportunity.

It is a time of rebirth and evolution, you probably are in a transformative journey right now and its gonna pay off pile 3!

I also feel that wishes for prosperity, joy and success will soon come true aswell. It is time to shine and take advantage of the opportunities that the universe brings you. All that effort, those seeds planted with sacrifice, are now ready to grow and bear fruit, you are doing an amazing job, so trust yourself and soon you will live your dream reality step by step!

❄️Song:

✧˚.⋆Thanks for reading and let me know if it resonated!✧˚.⋆

Dividers by: @dollywons

[fucktoyfelix]

Building Consent Culture

From consent.academy

"Consent” is a word with many meanings and applications. It is more than ‘no means no’ and ‘yes means yes’. These simple rules are sometimes helpful, but consent applies to every part of our daily lives - and life can get complicated!

Consent is mostly about feelings, sensations, and power. And feelings, sensations, and power are really complex things. ​How easy is it for you to talk about your feelings? Do you always understand why your body is having different sensations? Do you always know how powerful you are?

Consent is about slowing down and taking in the bigger picture. One way to understand consent is to consider it a shared feeling created together through a process of constant, collaborative discovery. It’s a feeling that comes from voluntary agreement (made without coercion) between those with decision-making capacity, knowledge, understanding, and autonomy.

Consent is present in all forms of human interaction (not just sex). 

Practicing consent creates a space where the safety and agency of all parties is honored, using healthy communication and negotiation to craft informed boundaries. Consent, explicit and implicit, is dependent on the context of the situation, and can be revoked at any time. In any given day, consent is affirmed and violated multiple times. People do it to us and we do it to other people. Creating the conditions for consent is a skill that gets better the more you practice. We need to practice consent in regular, day-to-day situations so we’re prepared for more intense ones like driving a car, being in romantic relationships, and having sex. If we violate consent in these situations, we could cause serious, lasting harm. Practicing consent everyday lowers the risk of consent violations happening, and it also prepares you for what to do when things go wrong.

How Do You Practice Consent?

There are many ways to practice consent. Below are 4 pillars to help you practice consent in your own unique contexts:

1) Capacity 

Capacity is about how able you are to both give and receive consent. How much ability do you have to describe exactly how you feel and make decisions that are right for you? And how much ability do you have to listen to the feelings and decisions of others? Slow down, pause, and check in with yourself and others on how you are really feeling, emotionally, physically, and mentally.

If someone’s capacity is lowered in some way, there’s more risk of a consent violation, so try and find out if there’s anything you can do to help boost each other’s capacity. The mnemonic H.A.L.T.S. can be helpful to check in on some important aspects of capacity - Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, Sad/Sick/Stressed out.

Recognize that alcohol and other substances can lower your capacity a lot, if not entirely - if someone is unconscious, unable to remember what’s happening, or otherwise incapacitated, then the risk of consent violations is essentially guaranteed for most activities, but especially intense ones like driving or sex. People who are incapacitated need help to prevent harm occurring, so try to give the care they need, even as a bystander.

2) Information

Informed consent is about knowing and understanding exactly what you’re being asked to consent to. Is everyone answering questions honestly? Is everyone sharing and being open with the information they have? Does everyone understand what the words being used actually mean? Going through the “who, what, where, when, why, and how” is a good way to gather information. Pay special attention to the ‘what’, ‘why’, and ‘how’. For example, what does ‘hanging out’ mean? What exactly is a ‘date’? What does ‘having sex’ mean? Why do you want to do this activity, and with this person? What are the risks involved and how are you going to address them? The more you share and check for understanding, the less risk there will be of consent violation.

Being clear about what you're asking for is super important if you want to avoid misunderstandings and unintentional consent violations. And if someone asks you to do something, and you're not sure exactly what they mean or want, ask for clarification. You don't have to agree to something you don't fully understand.

 3) Agreement or Boundary Setting

​Once you have checked in on capacity and shared the information you need, the next step in the ongoing process of consent includes asking questions, making agreements, and setting boundaries. Being explicit is the least risky way to make an ask and set an agreement or boundary. Being explicit means being as clear and specific as possible. This includes:

Saying the words! Accurately describe the activity, how you feel about it, and if relevant, name the body parts involved. If it’s too difficult for you to say out loud, it’s too risky to do!

Setting time limits: Maybe you want to try something for a certain amount of time, or maybe you only have enough capacity for a limited amount of time. Setting a time limit is a good way to combine agreements and boundaries. For example, you might say, “I’m willing to try this, but if I don’t like it after 5 minutes, I want to stop.”

Some people say consensual agreements should be enthusiastic - enthusiasm is great, but sometimes people can seem enthusiastic when they’re actually nervous or scared. Judging someone’s body language can give you helpful information, but always ask how someone is feeling rather than assume. The way someone’s body is responding is not always representative of how they feel.

Again, agreement and boundary setting is part of an ongoing process. Take lots of breaks to check in on sensations specifically - how does your stomach feel? Is it tense or relaxed? Are your hands and feet warm or cold? How is your heart rate? Do you need a bathroom break? Asking questions like this gives someone the chance to figure out how they’re feeling by letting their mind and body catch up to each other. It also lets that person know you care about them as a whole person, and you understand that sometimes what we imagine something will feel like isn’t always the reality.

Remember that just because someone said ‘yes’ to something before, they don’t have to say ‘yes’ again. And if someone changes their mind in the middle of an activity - that’s ok! Stop and ask if there’s something else they’d rather do. Give people lots of time and space to answer honestly. Lastly, remind people often that saying ‘no’ is ok. It’s easy to forget, especially if we don’t feel powerful in a situation, or get overwhelmed by sensations.

4) Autonomy

Autonomy is why we practice consent at all. Autonomy is everyone’s inherent right to decide what’s best for their own body, mind, spirit, and story. If anyone wants to do something that involves other people’s bodies, minds, spirits, or stories, they have a responsibility to communicate and help create the feeling of consent between everyone involved. If they don’t, everyone gets to decide for themselves if they feel a consent violation has happened to them (this is when your boundaries have been crossed and you feel harmed). We all violate consent at some point, even if unintentionally, so we should practice taking accountability for our actions, as we would want others to do.  Accountability can be difficult but respecting someone’s ‘no’ is one of the easiest ways to honor autonomy. Don’t try to convince people to change their mind. Making someone feel afraid or unable to say ‘no’ is coercion, and a guaranteed way to violate consent. Also recognize that the absence of a ‘no’ is not a ‘yes’. Don’t assume that the way someone is dressed or behaving means they really want to say ‘yes’. Just don’t assume - it’s way too risky. Ask questions, listen carefully, and respect how people respond. Despite how complicated things can get, practicing consent can also be this simple.

[lune-moon-nuit]

Thoughts about Mike I had last week while watching the middle of season 4

While watching Season 4 last week (yes, I’m extremely late to the party), I’m truly astonished at how misunderstood Mike is by much of the fandom and the general audience. It’s clear that Mike from Seasons 3 and 4 often comes across as an awkward idiot who can hurt others with his words or actions—particularly Will and El. This starkly contrasts with how he behaved in Seasons 1 and 2. However, it seems people overlook an important factor: Mike is now a teenager. A teenager who already carries a significant amount of trauma yet isn’t in a position to complain, because he has always been the friend or boyfriend supporting the “main victim” of the story.

Mike was traumatized by Will’s disappearance, by the abnormal events and creatures that turned their lives and town upside down. He has witnessed countless deaths—just in the episode I recently finished in Season 4, he literally watched a government agent die right in front of him after barely surviving a shootout, and he even helped bury the body himself alongside Jonathan, Will and Argyle. Let’s not forget that Mike has also come close to death multiple times. The list of what he’s endured is long. Yet through all of it, he was just a child, then a teenager.

While it’s true he’s sometimes hurtful or clumsy in his behavior toward El—primarily out of awkwardness—people forget that this is his first romantic relationship. And not just any relationship: one forged under extraordinary circumstances. El herself couldn’t initially distinguish between familial love and romantic love, and Mike was subtly pushed into seeing El romantically, thanks to a heteronormative society and remarks like Lucas’s, which suggested a boy taking care of a girl must mean he “likes” her. After all, in such an environment, a boy and girl can’t just share a bond of care without romantic undertones.

Another critical detail the fandom seems to overlook relates to Will. In Season 1, at just 10 to 12 years old, Mike had suicidal thoughts. He literally jumped off a cliff, unaware that El would use her powers to save him. He had no idea. He made a deliberate choice to jump, hiding behind the bully’s threat toward Dustin. But let’s be honest—anyone with a natural survival instinct wouldn’t so easily choose to leap to their death, even under pressure. Mike knew he had no chance of surviving that fall. It was deliberate.

So we must ask: What drives a 12-year-old boy to feel so hopeless, despite having friends and a family who love him? By now, we know that Mike, alongside Will, was a target of relentless bullying, much of it homophobic. Even Mike’s father made homophobic remarks in Season 1, adding pressure that Mike likely didn’t fully comprehend. At the cliffside, hope for finding Will alive was nearly gone. Mike had lost all hope. I genuinely believe that for him to have reached that point, the weight of his struggles was far heavier than we realized.

Mike has suffered immensely. He was already dealing with significant psychological distress in Season 1, which continued to accumulate. In Season 1, his focus was on finding Will. In Season 2, it was on protecting and saving Will. In Season 3, he acted like a “normal” teenager, but he was still targeted—being threatened violently by an adult who lashed out simply because Mike was behaving like any other boyfriend with El. Instead of questioning the why behind his actions, people just blamed him. In Season 4, rather than asking why Mike struggles to express his love for El, the audience blames him for supposedly not loving her enough.

But if Mike is confused—if he struggles to articulate his feelings—why is that? Mike has always been the devoted friend and boyfriend, but the series rarely highlights the immense psychological toll this has taken on him. His reactions, in truth, are quite logical and normal. Especially when you consider the more-than-plausible theory that Mike is either bisexual or homosexual. His internalized homophobia, combined with societal pressure in the 1980s, the fear of judgment, the fear of himself, and his confusion about his own feelings, all align perfectly with his behavior in Seasons 3 and 4. After all, adolescence is when most people begin to explore their sexual identity, desire, and emotions.

Take his words to Will, where he mentions their meeting in kindergarten as “the best thing that ever happened to him.”Mike��s connection to Will is profound. But being a gay teenager in the 1980s—while also not wanting to hurt El, whom he deeply cares for and feels responsible toward—would mean he’s carrying immense self-hatred, frustration, anger, fear, anxiety, depression, guilt, and the overwhelming sense of being “wrong” (a feeling Will also experiences).

All of this makes me believe that Season 5 could greatly benefit from focusing on Mike by making him Vecna’s target. Vecna would have plenty to exploit: Mike’s traumas, his unspoken suffering, and his struggles with his sexuality. It would be a perfect way to force Mike to confront who he is and what he feels for Will—while also allowing Will to learn the truth. Such a storyline would introduce rich internal conflict, both for Mike and for their relationship.

Considering how explicitly queer-coded Mike is in Season 4, it would be an enormous waste not to explore this as a central narrative thread in Season 5. Doing so would not only bring Will and Mike’s relationship to the forefront but would also give us a deeper look into Mike’s psyche—all the pain he has endured silently, all the while remaining loyal and supportive toward Will and El. Mike has worried for them, searched for them, protected them, and fought for them. It’s time the series recognizes that, even without powers, Mike is the heart of the group. Without him, everything falls apart.

[mermaidsloveelriel92]

I asked a friend of mine, who is completely unbiased because she has never read the ACOTAR series before, to read two snippets of Gwynriel scenes, because I didn’t have any of my books on me because I was at work, to see if maybe I was missing something.I never thought I was because like SJM said I thought it was obvious. Anyway I asked her if she saw any kind of flirting happening between Azriel and Gwyn. I even used this scene so she could see if there was flirting.

And since they love to use this scene as Mate behaviour.

It really bugs me when they use this scene as proof of a mating bond between them. She’s not remembering it romantically and neither does he.

It’s like with Lucien and Elain. He will always be tied to the most trauma moment of her life and that’s not romance. If the scene between Azriel and Gwyn was meant to be romantic SJM could’ve wrote that scene without Gwyn being hurt or raped.

Lucien will always be tied to Elain’s trauma of being Made fae, can they move past it?

I think so.

Will it be from a romantic standpoint?

No.

I asked if there was any kind of romance between them and after reading both scenes. She said no. There is absolutely no romance between them and what Gwynriels consider flirting isn’t flirting.

Then because I’m an Elriel shipper. I wanted her opinion on theme so I looked up one of my favourite scenes because it really does show, in my opinion, the essence of what Elriel as a couple will be.

That’s right the potatoes scene.

I asked her if she thought that it was romantically coded and she said yes.

I asked her because she, like me, is for one) a seasoned romance ( any genre really ) reader and two) we both read between the lines on scenes we notice things are supposed to be noticed.

No hate to Lucien or Gwyn. I can’t wait to see their characters explored. I can’t wait to see Gwyn’s Lightsinger abilities explored. I don’t view her asking as Azriel this as romantic.

I view it as her wanting to understand why she does when she sings. She wants to know if Azriel , who is a Shadowsinger, glows if he sings.

She wasn’t trying to get to know him.

She was asking that to understand her own power.

I also can’t wait to explore Vassien. I think after Elriel and Emorie’s, Vassien will probably get their own book, or like Amren and Varian, they become a couple in the background of Elriel’s book, but I’m not entirely sure that will happen considering Vassa is tied to a major plot point, her curse.

Even though there’s been no meeting between them yet, I find it interesting that while Nesta and Emerie were looking for Gwyn, they ran into Balthazar.

I wouldn’t be surprised if somewhere down the road Gwyn and Balthazar meet and fall in love.

But that’s up SJM.

I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the ACOTAR series and the CC series. I strongly suggest reading the CC series before Elriel’s book comes out because there are important plot points that will come into play in their book. I’m currently in the middle of reading Empire of Storms.

I don’t understand all the Chaol hate. I think he’s a great character. He’s one of my favourites. I also don’t understand the hate for Aedion and Lysandra either, especially their relationship.

Sorry this turned out longer than expected.

[princesssmars]

concrete jungle with the devil.

some victoria neuman x reader headcanons.

part.ii of this

you’re beautiful, you’re talented, and you’re the secret girlfriend of a hot and potentially crazy congresswoman. what more could you ask for?

contains : fxf relationship. fluff. angst. manipulation, pretty toxic relationship because its the boys and its victoria, mentions of smut. readers hair and face not described.

wc : 2.415

a/n : started this when season two was airing. look at what an idiot i was.

you had forgotten how much walking was done in certain cities in the states, especially in the big apple. to be fair, you’d forgotten quite a few things.

you remembered things you had forgotten gradually after that night when you realized you were not only a supe, but a supe that had been unknowingly manipulating yourself with your apparent superpowers into forgetting parts of your life. would be a cool plot for a book if it wasn’t your entire life but, whatever.

after managing to think of the revelation without nearly having a panic attack and ‘crazy high blood pressure’ as victoria so eloquently put it, you’d fallen into a kind of…ease?

in her ‘loving worry’ the woman had put you under her watchful eye, moving you into her home to prevent you from doing anything ‘drastic’ and helping you acclimate to your new state of living. she paid for your expensive hotel for another week before not subtly (and not asking) recommending you stay in her townhome.

and she’ll make sure you’re as comfortable as you can be the entire time. find the guest bed uncomfortable? her first offer is for you to just sleep with her, but she’ll settle for making sure you have a new mattress and comforter set. feeling sad over your rapid change in diet? a personal chef is hired to make you authentic parisian dishes to your hearts content.

it’s completely jarring how she has such a hold on your heart. you know a part of you can’t move on because of your powers, but every time you try to remind yourself of how weird your situation is you’re roped right back in when she comes home from work and tells you how she was thinking of you all day, giving you physical affection when you seem open to it by pressing a sweet kiss to the side of your head.

as childish as it is, a small part of you wishes you had an actual label for your relationship. ‘woman who wooed me then flew me across the globe to accomplish my dream and then revealed she wants to take advantage of my unexplored power’ was more than a mouthful. even ‘partner’ would be preferable.

it’s amplified by the fact that you aren’t really in a relationship.

you’ve slept together, something you embarrassingly think about often at night when your hand trails beneath the soft satin pajama set she had gifted you. at the end of the day you do have needs, and having your sexual world rocked only to have to (reasonably) avoid the perpetrator as best as you can is all too confusing to process.

not to mention that she still treats you sweetly and romantically when in private, fingers brushing over your arms and pet names whenever she sees you in a room of her house, but outside and in public her career calls for…propriety? and a relationship with another woman in your career would hurt her numbers apparently. at least that's what her publicist said. she didn't seem very bright yo you, but victoria was throwing hundreds at her to support her campaign.

and oh yeah, she decides to tell you randomly on a thrusday night in while making dinner with her daughter that she actually is talking with another politician about running for president and vice president. zoe had to help you when you nearly choked on your pasta.

you hadn't delved too deep into politics when over in paris, only googling the basics about small party leaders who'd show up to bars and would likely engage in small talk over a few drinks. the first time you even learned about vic's profession you already heard alarm bells in your head, but president? seriously?

she tried to reassure you about it, listing off all the benefits it would bring to her family - which now apparently includes you. a better government position meant a better quality of living, moving into the secure grounds of number one observatory circle with access to the government's protection, connections, and loads of money. you and zoe both perked up at that. you looked at the girl curiously and she shrugged her shoulders, admitting later that she would like to be able to travel to more places farther than the met.

unsurprisingly, you grow closer to zoe. you aren’t given many opportunities to make a lot of friends, and the only adult conversations you get are your friends back in pairs over the phone and victoria along with her campaign help. at first you helped her a little with her homework, even if the curriculum for her private school was leagues above what you learned in your little low-budget middle school. eventually, you start to just talk about shared interests, and you're pleasantly surprised to find out the girl is musically gifted. its sweet to see that vic set up a corner of her office for the girl to practice her talents, and whenever she offers you listen to her play a piece on her cello.

you never bring it up, but one time victoria stopped at the house for a long lunch once and overheard the two of you talking about a piece you both loved before zoe practiced it on her instrument. she stood out of sight in the doorway for a minute and just observed. as soon as you noticed her presence she was gone.

when things start looking up in the polls vic starts to show a little leniency with letting you have an actual life. of course she uses some backdoor connections to get you a boost in your career, and you find a great deal of peace in being able to perform to your hearts content. it only helps that the atmosphere of entertainment in new york is alive and bursting, you meet so many fellow musicians and singers.

slowly but surely you start to fall for the city. sure it can be dirty and smell weird and have heaps of garbage everywhere, but just like with paris you’re able to find the hidden jems that lurk just below the surface.

and after some pestering whenever the two of you manage to be in a room alone together for more than a few minutes, victoria finally starts to explain to you…well, you.

you’d always gotten a bad feeling by vought, never liked the way they profited off of the supers and marketed them to certain countries and people. finding out that they made you the ‘way you are’ . apparently, both you and vic’s parents thought letting a company shoot some super drug into their children would a smart idea, that you’d both go on to do something great.

“well, i guess you are kind of great, in a sense. smart enough to become a politician, raise a good kid. are they proud of you?”

she only gave you a dry chuckle as she took a sip of her dark wine.

“yeah, yeah they’re really proud.”

as much as you start to try, you cant get in to her head. you’ve been thrust into the middle of her life and routine and there’s still so many things about her you don’t know. hell, you don���t even know what her power really is still. you can tell she wants to let you in some, either for her own feelings or because she wants to help you explore your supercharged feelings for her to understand more about your abilities.

but just like when you talked about vought, as soon as she’s about to open up you see that look, one of a fear you’d never quite seen before flash in her eyes before she quickly dismisses you.

so you decide to tale a.. drastic measure to get some things out of her.

you had been exploring your power a bit in your new daily life, just little things that didn’t make too much of a difference or affect anyone too greatly. a simple request for the customer ahead of you to apologize to a barista they’d needlessly ridiculed, innocently asking a rushing passerby to give you directions to a cafe you had just been dying to try. it took a few weeks to get the hang of it, the fact that it apparently worked best when you were singing and the toll it could take on your body, but the dizziness fades eventually.

it’s a rare night where the two of you are in the house alone together and you decide to celebrate your recent well-perceived performance by opening up a bottle of bubbly and sitting on the couch, dressed in some maybe too revealing pajamas and waiting for her to inevitably join you once she finishes settling in from a long day at the campaign office.

she joins you and clink s her glass to yours, rolling her eyes into your drink when you immediately ask her a question about all of her plans.

“its gonna take more than some expensive champagne and you looking like that for me to crack, but nice try sweetheart.”

“oh yeah?” your finger teases the rim of your glass, eyes trained on her movements.

“yeah. let’s stick to the basic questions for now.”

you hum a short tune to yourself and take another sip of your drink. “okay. you should tell me what you had for lunch today.”

“patricia picked me up a ceasar salad today. it had too many croutons, a really absurd amount. sat confused for a few seconds.”

her eyes scrunch up slightly and flick to yours. you take her silence as a sign to keep going.

“i never really get to talk to your assistant. she told me once her name was morticia.”

she laughs and sets her glass on the coffee table, “think she might’ve been intimidated by you. she can be a real tightass but she’s a hardworker, believes in my campaign and message and all that shit.”

“dont try to skirt past that, tell me why she’s intimidated by me.”

her eye twitches, clearly annoyed by what you’re doing and not used to someone having this kind of control over her. but each time you do it you notice the way her hand clenches on the cushion of the sofa, how her tongue darts out to quickly lick over her bare lips.

“she wants me, checks me out sometimes when we’r ein the office. but the reason i hired her is that she’s incredibly observant, and she’s probably picked up that the two of us have a weird thing going on.”

your eyes slightly scrunch together. “what do you mean by ‘weird thing’ ?”

clearly your aggravation at how she decided to describe...admittedly whatever this weird thing between the two of you was, its enough for your concentration to slip and allow her to get out of the concentrated hold you had on her mind. in only a few seconds she’s pinning your body down to the couch, your wrists held down by her hands and your drink falling to the floor with a loud shatter.

‘ugh! vic, what the hell-” you struggle to get out of her grip, thrashing your arms and trying to kick up your legs that are trapped under her thighs. you apparently greatly underestimated how strong she is.

“that’s it baby, get angry, let it all out.” she has a fascinated smile on her face that does nothing to quell your frustration, only giving you the desire to get right back to messing with her anyway how.

“tell me why you’re doing this to me!”

“i like watching you under me, plus i like having control over you. definitely don’t want you turning the tables on me again.”

you notice that when you command her to explain her voice takes on this fast tone, like she’s rushing to answer you as soon as you finish speaking.

“you think i’ve dont you what you’ve done to me?”

“isn’t it fucking obvious? you just forced me to tell you something i wasn’t supposed to mention. i have to keep sharing things with you, you make me want to share things with you. you’re controlling me and you don’t even know it.”

“why don’t you want me to control you?”

“because i’ve been controlled before. its horrifying. you could be horrifying. because it’s not part of the plan. none of this is. god, you were supposed to be gone by now but i just can’t…i don’t-”

both of you’re eyes are wide when her speech starts to slip, fighting against the control to keep telling you what she’s hiding. her head jerks and you feel a rush of hot liquid rush down your face, your hand miraculously free to let you feel the blood pouring out of your nose. you look back at her and she’s scrambled to the other end of the couch, eyes trained ahead of her as she gets herself out of the daze.

abruptly she stands up, swiping off any leftover unease and starting her trek towards the stairs as you wipe off the now slow moving trail of fluid trailing from your nose.

as soon as she reaches the first step you call out to her, blood dripping into your mouth as your voice takes on a bittersweet and melodic sound.

“how do you feel about me, victoria?”

her manicured hand clenches around the wood bannister so hard you fear it’ll snap.

“you’re powerful. you’re useful and you’re terrifying.”

tears prick at your lashline as you swipe at more of the red covering your mouth. her head turns to meet your blurry gaze.

“i think i’m in love with you.”

you zone out to the sound of her footsteps rushing up the stairs and the light-headness from exertion.

you had forgotten what one one of the worst things about being in a city was. how despite being surrounded by thousands of people and hundreds of lives, inevitably came those times where you were alone as a person could be.

[noirleo]

Oooo, can i plz hear all your jealousy HC for the bayverse boys? :3 hope ur week is going well!

oh my god yes

jealous turtles from most to least ◡̈

(all turtles + reader are adults ♡)

1. raph

c’mon, did you expect anyone else?

being a middle child with three brothers, raph grew up sharing everything he had—his food, his clothes, his personal space. so when he finds someone he has feelings for, he makes a point that he’s not going to share with anyone.

his brothers prefer to take more subtle, graceful methods of claiming their s/os when they feel threatened. raphael does not have a subtle bone in his body.

if someone tries to hit on you while he’s there, he will physically put himself in between the two of you, glaring down at his prey target until they take the hint (and probably flexing his crossed arms as he does so. he doesnt do all of that lifting for nothing).

vern tried to chat you up, once, when you first met. raph swiftly handled it, and you’re not exactly sure what was said, but vern now makes a point to keep a very conservative amount of space between you and him at all times.

a lot of his jealousy comes from insecurity—he definitely thinks you could do better, find someone you could actually walk around with, show off to your friends and go on vacations with.

so how does he cope? by proving his indispensability to you. when you date raph, you don’t lift a finger. need something from the top cabinet? he’s got it in his hands before you even have to ask. want to see a sold out concert? how convenient, he just managed to find some floor seats for you and your friends

don’t ask how he got them, it’s really best for everyone if you don’t actually know (both legally and ethically speaking).

asking someone else for help (god forbid you ask vern or one of his brothers, especially leo) will probably end up in some icy silent treatment and very short yes/no answers to questions that can only be cured by insistent apologies and lots of kisses

2. mikey

oh, our beloved little mikey

mikey spouts confidence, but much like raphael, he is deeply afraid that you’ll leave him for someone whose complexion is a little less green

while raph’s jealousy is defensive, mikey’s is pleading. he needs a lot of verbal reassurance that you’re his, nobody else’s

even when he’s not feeling jealous or insecure about the relationship, he just likes to hear you say it—and once you do, he’ll believe it wholeheartedly, all doubts and anxieties set aside (for the time being, at least)

when you’re around others (and even when you’re not) mikey is extremely physically affectionate, and probably will mention to anyone who will listen in a very unsubtle manner that the two of you are dating and really, really happy together, thank you very much

if you’re sitting, you’re sitting on his lap (or so close that you might as well be). if you’re standing, you can bet that he’s got an arm slung around your waist or your shoulder—just so everyone in the room is clear who you came with and who you’re leaving with

3. donnie

donnie’s jealousy is quiet. he’s much less outward about his feelings of jealousy than raph or mikey, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

when you mention a creepy guy from one of your classes getting a little too close for your comfort, he’ll nod and empathize; little do you know, he’s got the guy’s social security number, address, and name of his childhood pet pulled up on his laptop within seconds.

mysteriously, he doesn’t really show up for class anymore. rumours float around about some pretty shady things hes done being sent to the dean, president, and every RA on campus.

you confront donnie, and he just shrugs innocently. huh, weird, guess it’s a good thing you guys don’t hang out anymore then right? and then he’ll change the subject, but the triumphant gleam in his eye doesn’t go unnoticed

if someone starts to get flirtatious with you while donnie’s around though? all bets are off.

standing at 6’8 and made of pure lean muscle, donnie is fully aware of how intimidating he is, and it radiates off of him.

all it takes is one glare, leering from over your shoulder, and suddenly the person trying to flirt with you has some very important business to handle on the opposite side of the room for the rest of the night.

when you turn around to see donnie standing behind you, one hand on the small of your back, he’s back to his relaxed, smiley self

4. leo

leo is definitely the least jealous of his brothers. he’s confident, bordering on arrogant, and knows what he brings to the table.

i mean, c’mon. the barista who wrote their number on your coffee cup may be cute and share your taste in music, but how many times have they saved new york from an alien invasion? can they do anything to protect you in the event of a foot clan takeover?

didn’t think so.

communicating and trust are monumental to leonardo. right off the bat, he’s very straightforward about his intentions with you, and expects the same level of loyalty from his partner

leo’s trust isn’t easily earned so if he trusts you, then he does so completely and wholeheartedly. if you say that you and someone else are just friends, then he won’t think twice about it

that’s not to say he never gets jealous though. he’s just much more lowkey about it than the others

if you mention offhand being catcalled on your way to the lair one night, you’ll have a private escort for the foreseeable future

hes not big on pda, but you can bet that if he catches someone else’s scent on you, especially another guy, he’ll be extra cuddly when he sees you

he’ll for sure try to play it off though and subtly give you something that smells like him. oh, you seem cold, here’s one of his hoodies that he conveniently had on hand. go ahead and put it on. he’s just looking out for you, no ulterior motives here.

you see right through him, but you’re willing to look the other way for some extra snuggles.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

23 years!! So Eddie hasn’t been to confession since he was around 10?!

Well if that isn’t interesting!!! That feels so pointed because that is a very young age to stop going to confession - unless you’ve started to realise you’re different - that the church as been teaching you the things you’re feeling and realising about yourself are not ok according to their teachings and beliefs and the best and easiest way to avoid religious wrath, not look at yourself too closely and bury your feelings is to just stop going to confession (assuming he was still going to church with his parents as I can’t imagine they’d not have him go to church every Sunday at 10!)

[atissi]

okay very preliminary thoughts on mitski's new album BUT i think there's something with how "laurel hell" felt like a goodbye to the music industry (can't find the source but i remember reading that it was intended to be her last album under her contract) like i'm sorry anthony fantano but if you interpret the back half of "laurel hell" as being generic breakup songs you're missing like 80% of the context. to me TO ME it feels so clearly about her negotiating her relationship with fame, how she can't love her fans the way they love her, and how she feels like she sold her soul to her job, so the only thing to do is step away. but THEN "the land is inhospitable and so are we" was created after mitski decided to renegotiate her contract, specifically because she loved making music enough to deal with the negative aspects of the work. and then all the songs are about the ghost of love she can leave behind, despite the present pain or emptiness, and like. do you see it. do you see it.

[fxrmeldehyde]

made a playlist about being aromantic after a deep talk with oomf ☝️ it's a little short rn but I'll add more songs as I find them