#especially since shes the only one who doesn't at all resent you if you divorce her and says she's thankful for how you impacted her life

[lunarin64art]

Can't wait for update 1.6 to come to console so I can marry my wife a 3rd time❤️🌻

[djeterg19]

So I know Day needs to grow up and deal with his shit with Night like an adult but...where the hell has their mom been in all this? Because they all live in the same house. She must know there's deep issues between them. She was pushing hard for Night to be Day's guardian. Why would she ever think that would be a good idea with how much Day holds a grudge against/resents Night? Is this another case of her burying her head in the sand and ignoring the issue? Does she not care that one of her sons hates the other? Or is she just gone so much that she has no idea what their relationship is like? And why does she travel so much? She's a chef, a profession not known for needing a lot of travel, and a rich one at that. Even if she was doing things like frozen meals or cookbooks, she could be home way more than she is. Remote work, especially when you are as well off as they are, is not hard to arrange.

Not only that but there are signs that she parentified Night and made Day a golden child. Day clearly was a high achiever considering how well he did at badminton and Night has been expected to take over as Day's guardian even though I don't think that's what either of them want. Like what does Night want to do with his life? Is he allowed to have an interest outside of taking care of Day? Or does the family just expect him to give up everything because his brother got into a car accident picking him up?

And Day doesn't seem to have been held accountable or faced any consequences. He's gone through who knows how many caretakers before they hired Mork. Night mentioned they didn't last more than a couple of days at most and I can only assume they were working with professionals before they started resorting to the interview process where they first met Mork. His behavior must have been pretty bad or he just kept firing them without any consequence. And really he should not have had the power to just fire someone on a whim or if they said or did anything especially after it happened a couple of times. Because if he didn't have money or a family that enabled that behavior he would have been on his own much sooner. This goes back to my frustration that Day was not put into therapy after getting the diagnosis. And nothing was done to get Day to adjust to the new situation. The house wasn't changed and he wasn't given tools to navigate his own home either. I've ranted about this before so I will leave it for now.

And, yes, being a single mother is hard but she apparently had the option of allowing the dad into their life and didn't want him around. Don't get me wrong she had every right to leave and move away because of the cheating and not want to be around him but she should have found a way to co-parent with him or at least maintain some kind of relationship with him for the boys. Even if it was just phone calls or having the kids spend a holiday here and there with him. There's no indication that he didn't want to be a father to their children. Maybe it's because I come from divorced parents but when you decide to have children you should know that it will come with doing some things you don't like or wouldn't choose for yourself for their best interest.

Anyways, I don't think Night and Day's issues started with the accident. They go much deeper than that and I can't help but think it's due to how they were raised and in a way neglected emotionally that caused them to see each others as rivals for her attention instead of brothers that both equally deserve her love and attention. Because Day thinking Night is trying to steal their mom's affection is not normal at all. It's deeply unhealthy and has to have roots that have grown over years and not just since the accident.

[t3a-tan]

Enough with the Oliver talk changing the subject to James I have some questions:

Why did James and Emily divorce? It seems Emily still loves or at least cares about James and James VERY apperently misses his family

What's James relationship with her daugther?

Does James have human friends?

Also really wierd question but does he like dinosaurs?

Thats all :D

Oliver? Who's that? It's James time now 😈

James and Emily had a good relationship until James's mum passed away— James started drinking heavily and although at first they both brushed it off as a temporary coping mechanism it quickly became concerning. Emily and James both began regularly arguing over the issue until during one argument James lashed out and hit her.

Emily demanded a divorce right after that incident, and until James was able to find a new place to live he slept in a separate room. During the divorce process because of his alcoholism, and the fact that he had physically assaulted Emily before, he was not allowed to see her or his daughter until he was fully sober. Emily would still message him to let him know how their daughter was though.

James received professional help for his alcoholism, and although at first he resented his ex wife, he started going to therapy (required in the divorce agreement) and realized how bad he had been to her.

Eventually they returned to court on mutual terms and the divorce agreement was changed so he could see Mackenzie on certain days. He apologized to Emily and they became friends again but didn't get back together.

James has a good relationship with Mackenzie, though he doesn't get to see her often and missed out on her life when she was two up until she was four. He tries to see her as often as he can, and he and Emily plan to return to court again so that he can co parent Mackenzie fully instead of only being able to see her on certain days— especially since Emily struggles to do it on her own with a full time job.

James used to be friends with people in Emily's friend group, but after the drinking and divorce that fizzled out. A couple of them checked on him, and more of them hated him. He has people he talks to at work and he used to go to the bar with those people but he was never particularly close and stopped going to the bar for obvious reasons. So no, he doesn't have any human friends.

And he does like dinosaurs! His favorite is the triceratops.

Thank you for your questions! ^^

[zalrb]

I don’t know what to think of Logan and Marcia. Because I get why they’d be in to each other, why they’d marry each other and stay married. Logan has money and Marcia is composed, clever, and conniving and I think Logan would like that (so long as she didn’t attempt to usurp him). I never got the vibe that there were any real feelings involved, which is why I was so surprised that Marcia left Logan after Rhea (controversial opinion, but I don’t think Logan and Rhea were ever a thing, Rhea seems too well-adjusted for that IMO). I can get Marcia’s cattiness with Kerry, and obviously I get Logan fucking around but I never understood why it was with Kerry because she brings nothing to the table the way Marcia, Rhea, and even Caroline do.

I’m also interested in her loyalty to Logan. Part of it was that he had all the power, but Marcia’s very big on betrayal and even used the word “traitors” a few times, which made it seem more personal.

I’m curious about why Shiv dislikes her so much (but Shiv hates everyone, so…) and I’m interested in Marcia’s beef with Willa and her weird kinship with Greg. I think Marcia thinks people see her as an older Willa and resents that bc they’re on different levels but I do not get why anyone but Tom would like Greg lmao.

Logan and Rhea weren't sexually involved

and she was also clearly playing him

but I think it's clear they were still a thing

especially because being romantically involved with someone and playing them is kind of expected in this world at least to Logan, he says it about Marcia

and it's to the point that Logan doesn't know if his judgment is impaired because he's so swept up in her

which also happens with Kerry, he pushes for her to become an anchor

and it's only when he repeatedly sees how people are making fun of her audition tape that he's like OK well kill it

which is actually an interesting aspect of Logan, particularly since he can eventually admit to being worried about not thinking clearly because he's infatuated with a woman

Marcia leaves because Logan isn't discreet, everyone knows that he's infatuated with Rhea and it's even worse than with Sally-Anne, and she has a sense of dignity. It's one thing to have affairs, it's another thing to flaunt them

It's also interesting you never got the vibe that there were real feelings involved with Marcia and Logan when I thought it existed at one point because one of the most, if not the most, vulnerable scenes we see of him when he's alive is with her

yet I don't think loyalty is why she stayed, they negotiated more money and more power in the company for her in season 3 when Logan asks her not to divorce him because of the optics, they had an arrangement

In terms of Kerry, it's interesting because she kind of just shows up one episode and then her screen time grows with each season little by little and we don't have much backstory but when we see her talk to Greg we do see her have the same type of sharpness, no bullshitting attitude

while also being someone who is taking care of him, like Marcia isn't there anymore, he isn't going to rely on his kids, so not only does she sometimes act as an intermediary and a translator to the siblings,

she's doing the things Marcia used to do, like when she knows about his UTI plus she's young and ambitious and probably won't say "awesome" too much.

Shiv's dislike of Marcia comes down to power plays and control and who has more of it. Shiv likes to try and take control of situations and she's repeatedly told to stay in her lane by Logan or by Kendall,

even by Roman (though I'm thinking more of this latest episode)

and that's something she continuously navigates abd pushes back against but she's used to it coming from her brothers and her father and men but then there's Marcia -- and to Shiv, who is Marcia, really? just some other woman -- who plainly tells her that she's not in control

and that's also coupled with the access Marcia has/had to Logan that Shiv couldn't/can't get her own father

like when she wants to go see him after he comes out of the hospital and Marcia won't let her upstairs, Shiv talks to the staff and says "I'm Logan's daughter, I just wanted to thank you for all you do" as a way to establish that she's the authority and they should be taking their cues from her not Marcia

combined with the fact that unlike the old guard who will act sycophantic, Marcia expresses the contempt she has and it's specifically to Shiv about Shiv

[slocumjoe]

hey uhhh i went thru ur oc post history and u said gus set himself on fire?? pls context

I love this character because whenever someone asks about him I always have to take a deep breath and get comfortable and suck a breath in through my teeth. I treat him so poorly

More Gus lore, because that specific event is actually tied to the very first event that would fuck him up forever, so I can't really talk about it without going in depth.

This is explaining the core tenent of Augustijn's story, which is guilt and its dangers. Basically, where that constant guilt came from, and how it...turned out for him...

It turns out okay. Just...takes 200+ years, an apocalypse, a divorce, and his son dying! 🥳Yay🥳

Tw; Religious trauma, child abuse, suicide, drug use, cannibalism, mental illnesses, and yet another suicide attempt.

So, some background, Gus's mom, Emma, was a fanatic catholic and generally Bat Shit about religion. As you might imagine, this is the Direct Source of both Gus' questionable worldviews, traumas, and his biological inclination to uuuhhh bad Head Times.

Emma was raised mildly religious, but she...took to it too hard? Her family was not the cause of her obsession, Gus's grandparents and uncles/aunts over there actually cut her off at one point, because she was starting to worry them but reaching out led to her lashing out. So, they just...backed off. Emma herself was a simple, homebody woman, who wanted to be at home raising her kids, and tending her garden. She would have been this way even without the religious thing.

But Emma and her side of the family were prone to addiction, see? And religion became her point of fixation and obsession. This could have still been okay, if not for the church she went into. A catholic church in the Hague that was known by all for being kind of fucking out there, even by other hardcore Catholics. This was one she went into, and even her grandchild 240+ years later would feel the ripple of this decision.

Emma goes into church and gets gnarly ideas about how life works. Its a woman's duty to have kids and raise them, to be good to her husband and her house, to listen and obey her men. Sin is inevitable and everyone does it, only those that admit and accept punishment can get another chance at Paradise. God knows every action you take and he does not care for the context, he only cares about the action. There is no "well, but" under the Lord.

Emma has mental illness, some kind of depression and anxiety, so this Big Brother Watching And Judging fucked her up. Especially since her church, in particular, was physically abusive if you did not confess to anything during confession. They thought if you had nothing to confess, you were lying.

At this point, she's met and engaged to Theodore Reinier, a rich heir to a European manufacturing company. He's pretty, a gentleman, and best of all, rich, so she can have as big and luxurious a garden as she wants. She likes him. She does not love him. She's in her twenties and unmarried with no kids, and her poor family needs to be taken care of. So she marries him. Theodore is smart enough to see this for what it is, and kind enough to allow it. He lets his wife do her own thing and treats her as a friend, rather than a lover. She hates this, she wants to be a wife (she doesnt). She wants kids, he gives her one. Augustijn. This birth goes rough, and she's told no more children.

Theodore makes one rule; August goes to a different church, or he does not go at all. Theo really didn't like Emma's church and he certainly wasn't exposing his kid to that shit.

Emma pretends to agree and takes Gus to That Church. Theo doesn't attend, so he doesn't know this is happening until much later. Gus gets all the same nasty shit Emma does. Theo learns of this when he sees Gus covered in bruises from confession beatings. This puts a huge rift between him and Emma, and he pulls all the strings he can to have her church shut down.

Emma grows to resent and hate Theo and Augustijn for not being the perfect husband and child she deserves as a good, God fearing house wife. Augustijn is left to his nannies, Emma hides away in her private garden, fuming. Theodore tries to bond with his son, but Emma's poisoned that well.

Emma tells Augustijn about demons, to fear them. She specifically tells him about church grims, demons that hunt around churches in the form of a dog to drag sinners to hell. She says this as she's admiring her new obsidian dog statues for her garden.

Eventually, Emma goes yellow wallpaper and loses her mind, and is sent to therapy and put on medications. Augustijn loathes his father for his mother's state. Theodore just wants his friend and son okay. But Emma, as she's out in town, coming back from therapy, she stops at a friend's house while the friend isn't there, and hooks up with the woman's husband. Friend's husband was stern, strict with his wife, God fearing, and generally an obnoxious 50s ideal shithead husband. Everything Emma wanted. This wasn't out of nowhere, it was brewing in the background. She knew both of them from her old church.

Emma goes home, and finally having a reason for the guilt that's always plagued her, elects to acknowledge her sin. She drowns herself in the pond of her garden, stared down by three dark, ruby-eyed dogs, overseeing her passage into the afterlife. Her young son comes into the garden to meet his mother, after she's been gone all day, only to find her in a red pool. He looks up into the eyes of the dogs. He remembers nothing of this incident, blocking it out and having been too young to understand.

Years pass, and Augustijn turns to drugs as well, though his come from the darkest parts of the Hague, rather than a doctor. He turns to sex, to crime, to anything he thinks will either corrupt him so much he doesn't care, or will finally make his guilt feel justified. He wears his mother's cross necklace through it all, and sees her beloved dog with every sin.

Augustijn goes to America for college, to Harvard, studying to become a pastor himself. (This is maybe the most terrifying part of him, the fact that he almost got it). But he doesn't feel satisfied with it, has a moment of clarity and realizes he isn't fit to preach anything. The grim certainly doesn't think so. He instead follows his only friend, Isadora, into the military. The US government allowing their soldiers to do chems means his failed drug tests don't matter.

Augustijn becomes a sniper. He has always hurt people, excelled in it, but taking life frightens him, because he knows he has no right to decide who lives or dies, not like this. But he's in China, and he's told to kill. He does, and he's very good at it. His teammates marvel at just how scrappy and determined he is, like a weed, a mold.

The Biandukou Pass Incident occurs. He eats his entire team, trapped in a Chinese mountain range during a blizzard.

Delirious from almost two months of surviving on nothing but psycho and human flesh, Augustijn is let loose back into Boston, honorably discharged. His lingering hallucinations from his Daytripper addiction, mixed with psycho withdrawal, trauma, guilt, shame, the fear of God—everything culminates. He looks up and sees the figure that has haunted him since that one, awful day; the church grim, staring expectantly.

His mother drowned herself, so he thought it fitting if he set himself ablaze.

[styxnbones]

For cass: essentials 5, 8; life 7; death 3; clans 10, 12

ty im so happy ppl are interested in cass!

Essentials 5: as I touched on in the last ask, her sire is Astrid Hallman- originally a 10th gen Carrier Malkavian. Many year's prior to Cass' embrace, Astrid diablerized her own sire and became 9th gen which meant that Cass was embraced into the 10th generation as well. Cass first met Astrid as one of the rare gigs she would take for more legitimate private investigation type work among the many criminal contracts. Astrid was paranoid (as she always is) about being followed/hunted by someone and didn't want to approach the cops so she managed to get Cass' contact information. It was a simple job- extremely clear that no one was on to her and easy enough to prove, and Astrid payed quite well. A month later Astrid contacted them again, and again wasted their time. Same the next month. However Astrid was paying well and also had the benefit of being hot so Cass didn't mind. Eventually this turned into a proper relationship despite the red flags on both sides. Until, inevitably, Astrid's paranoia turned on Cass and caused her to think they had been lulling her into a sense of security while actually having found her out, which caused her to frenzy- killing Cass in the process before frantically embracing her when she realized what she had done. After that, still too afraid of having been sold out for diablerie, and now with the added problem of an unintentional childer, Astrid's controlling tendencies shot up to 11. She rapidly blood bound Cass and used that along with Dominate to keep her shut up in the apartment for a number of years until Cass could gradually chip away at her resolve and make a break for it. Their relationship is manipulative and controlling on both sides, since Astrid is chronically Paranoid and Cass's curse takes the form of Megalomania/NPD. Though, while Astrid genuinely loves Cass in her own fucked up way and just wants them both safe from the many dangers she perceives around every corner, Cass's resentment has only grown as time spent away weakens the blood bond.

8: technically, Cass isn't in v5 and therefore doesn't have any Touchstones TM, but if she was Lila and Rowan (who I mentioned in the last ask) would definitely be among them

Life 7: Cass is baptised and her dad had intended to raise her presbyterian- which was part of why her mother divorced him and went back to the US. Consequently she never actually grew up religious, and even with a small amount of dabbling in the occult since entering kindred society she still doesn't really buy into the Noddist mythology though obviously the existence of the supernatural is now undeniable.

Death 3: As is evident, Cass is a Malkavian. However, she hates the assumptions people make when that comes out, especially since she prides herself on being "the sanest malk you'll ever meet," so they often deliberately mislead people about what their clan is. It's easiest to go for Giovanni/Hecata as all the proof they'd need is to let someone watch them feed since they have the Grip of the Damned flaw. Likewise with Lasombra and the Cast No Reflection flaw, though that is preserved for very specific company.

Clans 10: Toreadors are a bunch of inattentive airheads as far a Cass in concerned. Good to have around if you can tempt them with something shiny, and they're rarely a serious threat.

12: The closest Cass has ever gotten to a Tzimisce was witnessing some poor fleshcrafted creature they found on it's last legs in a warehouse attempt to lash out at the coterie before being put out of it's misery. It was honestly pretty pathetic so she doesn't hold much respect for whatever particular Tzimisce did that, but having heard more about what Vicissitude can do in the hand of a master she's certainly wary of them in general.

[tobiasdrake]

Observations on BelialVamdemon's Vision Trap

The start of the confrontation with BelialVamdemon/MaloMyotismon is less than fantastic. As soon as he reveals himself, his sheer presence makes the entire cast (except Daisuke) so utterly terrified that they refuse to fight and embrace death instead. This feels remarkably OOC, especially for Hikari and Takeru.

Since all of his companions are suddenly useless, Daisuke has to face BelialVamdemon alone, with only the Adult-stage XVmon to fight with. Against all reason, XVmon actually manages to drive back Belial and force him to switch gears to a new strategy.

Belial imprisons everyone in a fantasy sequence of their own greatest desires. It lasts like five seconds before they each break out of it of their own accord, making the whole thing kinda pointless.

It does serve to show us what each of them truly wants most. But. Like. That's not really anything new for half of them. Takeru wishes his family wasn't divorced. Iori wants to visit the Digital World with his deceased father, who always wanted to visit the Digital World. That makes sense.

For the other two? It kinda just serves to draw attention to the disproportionate amount of focus paid to certain characters' home lives. Did you know that Miyako resents having a lot of siblings, and longs to have things in her life that are just her own? Did you know that Hikari's greatest ambition is to unify the Digital and Human Worlds, such that every human has a Digimon partner? No? Well, that's probably because this is the first time it's ever come up.

We've talked about Takeru's home life and personal struggles. We've talked about Iori's home life and personal struggles. We've talked about Daisuke's home life and personal struggles. We've talked about Ken's home life and personal struggles a lot. But Hikari and Miyako's home lives and personal struggles haven't gotten that same level of attention.

Well, that isn't entirely true. It's not like they've been devoid of character exploration episodes. It's just. Not this. Hikari's focus episodes were about the Dark Ocean, a completely supernatural threat that has no bearing on her actual character, wants, or ambitions.

Hikari's kinda just been a static support beam for everyone else to lean on throughout the series. Which is probably why her illusion is the shallowest of them all. "Hikari enjoys seeing people get along with Digimon." This character is so paper-thin that this was seriously the best they could come up with.

Miyako has gotten more attention, but not regarding her siblings and home life. In fact, her episodes tend to focus on her being a Disaster Bisexual. She falls head-over-heels in love with the other boys and girls around her at the drop of a hat. Ken, Mimi, and Mimi's friend Michael have all been recipients of this, off the top of my head.

But for some reason, her illusion focuses on an element of her life that the show hasn't really explored at all. We know that her parents run a convenience store and she has a lot of siblings, but we've never really gotten to know her family and home life beyond that.

And now it's supposed to be an important plot point on par with Takeru's broken family drama, Ken's remorse over the Digimon Kaiser, and Iori's longing for a father he never got to know. And it's just. It's not. The time has not been spent to make it so.

But then again, how important a plot point it actually is? That's debatable, because this amounts to a very quick temptation scene that everyone immediately gets over in like five seconds. I don't like it.

(Honestly, they probably should have let Daisuke get taken by the illusion and had Hikari be the one to come free everyone. We all know what Daisuke's illusion would be. It'd be Hikari reciprocating his affections. He has a well-defined personal ambition, and making Hikari the savior character would avoid drawing attention to the fact that she doesn't. Plus, like, being the light in the darkness is literally her job.

Or, alternately, they could have spent time to properly develop these two characters to the same extent that the boys got. But I digress.)

[kitsunefyuu]

Consider: Yoichi is the one he loved more than anything and nothing could ever truly take his place in his heart.

While Yoichi to him is like someone's beloved pet cat they've had since childhood, the Midoriya's to him are more like someone's pet goldfish they won at a carnival that they neglect occasionally.

Doc could give him anything, but I find it hard to believe he wouldn't have thought to experiment with his own children he conceived with all we know about his plans and the orphanages.

I don't think he would stay away from his family forever, he would loathe to give them fully up, but they might not be his number one priority and something he could ignore for now. They're more like pets he sort of likes. It's a muted affection compared to that overwhelming one he felt with his brother.

Trying to rationalize as to why his own son doesn't care for him when he had 9 years to build a bond with him even with call's. I say 9 due to face smashing thing. Don't really like the altering memory theory either, since we have no evidence and even with it it would seem like a cheap cop out for not developing Izuku's relationship with his dad. He must have not been there often or called if his son doesn't think of him as he almost dies.

His interest in Izuku would be ignited when he discovers he obtained OFA and then his obssession would begin there.

Kinda gay to have your brother be the only one you ever loved in you life. But everyone has their ships and can't say that's bad. I like to toy with that idea sometimes I just prefer him loving his family.

I mean if you like this concept don't let the fact I don't enjoy it bother you. Also, Izuku doesn't care even if dad 'loved' him because the bastard STILL just up and vanishes regardless. This is NOT at all related to whatever AFO feeling, since even if the dad is just a normal guy he NEVER shows up.

Since if is Dad for One can't reveal he is potato's face, and as someone who has been around kids. YES, they will hold resentment and it doesn't matter if it's because of 'work' you might as well have abandoned them. It doesn't matter how good you were prior to your disappearance if never come to any family bonding, meetings, etc for YEARS.

Inko might be mature enough to understand but I'm sure even she would be exhausted. Also contemplating divorce since Ms. Midoriya never shows up not even when son in the hospital.

It hurts to have a parent who cares more about work than your family especially since Izuku is already being bullied and mistreated.

There no need to RATIONALIZE that part since regardless if AFO loves them or not he STILL ends up not being there for them. EVEN IF IT TO NOT REVEAL HE A VILLAIN, it's cruel! Kid likely would refuse any phone call from the man who abandoned them.

Also, we don't have evidence for anything at the moment. So we can debate whatever but there no proof of whether he truly loved his family or didn't.

If want an example of dad fuck off and kid rather pretend they don't exist, but the dads aren't bastards technically just neglectful as heck.

Katekiyo Hitman reborn, the dad basically dead beat. Son will ignore his existence if could.

Full Metal Alchemist, Edward makes it clear Hohenheim can drop dead. As punched him upon first meeting.

Both are dad that just up and disappeared.

Also, I'm neutral about the memory alteration theory since it isn't really NEEDED to justify anything. It just some what ifs since, not recognizing his voice?

AFO voice is likely fucked up after the head bash and if Izuku thinks his dad doesn't give a shit avoids any phone calls anyway. I SOMETIMES DON'T RECOGNIZE PEOPLE's VOICE, it can just happen sometimes if been too long.

[iamauthenticallyme]

The Guilt And Shame That Comes With Eating Almost An Entire Vanilla Cake In One Weekend

Trigger Warning: This post contains discussions of depression, disordered eating, body image struggles, hygiene-related mental health issues, and mentions of suicidal ideation.

I'll have to tell you a little bit about my mental health journey so that this situation will all make sense:

When I was nine, I started lying to my mom about brushing my teeth for the simple fact that I didn't feel like doing it. After my grannE died when I was 10, I fell into depression but didn't quite know what depression was. It manifested itself as wearing the same clothes when I got to middle school because I had a uniform, not brushing my teeth or taking a shower often, and, when I turned 13, not eating breakfast, lunch, or dinner consistently unless I was at school because they provided breakfast and lunch. These all turned into habits that I still have except I don't wear the same clothes now that I'm 16 and in high school because I wash my clothes weekly. These eating habits manifested due to body image issues, probably because my siblings used to tease me for thinking I was fat; meanwhile, they've always been fatter and bigger than me.

I take showers almost every day before school, but on the weekends and off days, taking showers, brushing my teeth, and eating is difficult for me because I don't have a set routine or any reason to get up. This means I'll probably only eat one, maybe two, meals a day during this time. These habits are due to a lack of motivation to get out of bed.

When I speak to my mom about helping me break my unhealthy habits and adopt healthier ones, she does, but then, after a while, doesn't keep up with it, so neither do I. I understand that you have to be enough for yourself, and I can be enough for myself, but these habits can be difficult to break, especially if they've lasted years.

When I'm at my dad's house, I adopt healthier habits and a better routine on principle. If I don't, he'll chastise me for it and make me feel bad, possibly even cry because he's not always the nicest person. I make myself and my little brother breakfast and lunch; my dad and stepmom always make sure we have dinner to eat while my mom doesn't always, pretty much leaving me to fend for myself.

My dad has been complaining about my hygiene since before he and my former stepmom got a divorce when I was 13, so probably when I was 11. He used to say that it smelled whenever I went to the bathroom, even when I pooped and was on my menstrual cycle, and later, he would begin to complain about my not brushing my teeth consistently enough, which is understandable as he didn't necessarily yell at me about that; he was probably just a little worried as well as disgusted. For the record, my former stepmom was a horrible person who disliked me a whole lot for no reason at all, and my dad never stuck up for me in any way, sometimes getting me into trouble with her because he straight-up didn't care, so you shouldn't take their opinions to heart as it pertains to what I'm currently talking about and the time frame in which it happened.

My sister insults me, asking me when the last time I brushed my teeth or took a shower was. She never mentions the eating thing, perhaps because she doesn't eat every day either unless we're at my dad's. She only does these things to boost her ego, and she doesn't care about me in that way, to be worried. She has called me retarded many times, as well as asking if I'm stupid and special, while I've called her evil, a bitch in front of people at school, and mean. She says I'm mean too, but I believe that she has a limited understanding of who I am due to my spiritual awakening, her insecurities and egoic desires, as well as her resentment towards helping me. But I don't have control over what people say or think in regard to me or her. I'm sure I have a limited understanding of her too, for the same reasons, just in a different context.

Grandma was worried about what was going on with me when she smelled me. She never made me feel bad about it. Instead, she would try to talk to me about it. Although I never smelt like underarms, in between my pants smelt funny, not because my vagina did, but because, due to depression, I wore the same clothes for a while.

If my mom ever noticed anything, she never said so.

Can you relate to any of this? All of this? How old were you when you experienced any of this? Are you still? How old were you when it stopped if it has stopped at all yet? How old are you now? I'm sixteen, and although I haven't been depressed for two years, I still have depressive habits. Like I said, I struggle with taking a shower on off days, brushing my teeth, and eating dinner most days, but in general, on off days. The only time I eat mostly is if someone makes me food, preferably if someone walks to my room and gives me food, but I don't have a problem going downstairs and getting it if someone makes it and it's right there mostly.

So back to the present time:

My great-grandma, 83 years old, walks to Walmart often and buys us unhealthy snacks like cookies, chips, candy, and cake. Oh, and she loves soda very much. So I asked her if I could have a vanilla cake. I was expecting us all to share it, but I wanted a change from the lemon cake she usually buys, and I was craving vanilla cake. She brought me a whole cake, all to myself, and I don't always have very good discipline or self-control, so…

She got me the cake on Friday; I took two slices out of it. Then that Sunday, I was hoping it wasn't stale, and I was craving it, so I took three slices out of it and ate that along with a frozen dinner of some sort for breakfast. That night, I realized I hadn't eaten lunch yet, so by about 3 o'clock, I took the cake out of the fridge and put it in my room. I cut slice after slice after slice, and then one slice caused the cake to look funny, so I cut another slice to try and correct it, and it only got worse, so I kept cutting more slices… Remember how I told you that I struggle with eating, especially on off days? Well, I only grabbed the cake because it was closer than going downstairs and making some real food, which I would have to go downstairs to do. Before I knew it, about an estimated 90-something percent of the cake was gone, and my sister hadn't touched it...

After that realization hit, I felt ashamed and guilty. At that moment, I felt like I understood how some people with eating disorders must feel when they just keep eating and eventually throw it up. I was not going to be the one to throw it up, though. I hate throwing up, and I hate feeling nauseous because that means there's a possibility you will throw up. I felt tears coming to my eyes, but I didn't make myself cry, and not very many tears fell. Although I felt like I was going to cry many times after that. I had suicidal ideation from the age of 10 to 14, and for about three of those years, I suffered alone, no one knowing or probably really even caring what I was going through, and fleeting thoughts have been occurring since last summer. So, of course, I got the thought that I wanted to die. Of course, this wasn't the first time something like the situation with the cake or indulgence has happened.

I briefly took my mind back to the time I had nothing but a gallon of apple juice, three sodas, and 12 mini chocolate cupcakes in one weekend. My great-grandma and sister wanted to go to the store, but I found out that Grandma had said something mean about me, indicating that she didn't want me to come with her because she wanted to "walk fast." My sister asked me what I wanted from the store, and I, of course, heard a literal voice tell me, "no juice." Of course, I knew this was the voice of one of my spirit guides, and, of course, I figured that she wasn't going to buy me a big thing of juice and it was just going to be one bottle. So, of course, I asked for juice and cupcakes, and, of course, she bought me a carton of apple juice. I drank straight out of the bottle, so, of course, none of my family wanted to share the juice, and, of course, I finished it by Sunday. That weekend, I also found out, or thought, because of a YouTube channel I used to follow, that I was going through the Dark Night of the Soul, so yeah.

Because of how guilty I felt over eating almost an entire cake in a weekend, I consulted the divination website I always use to get guidance from my spirit team—facade.com. I was wondering if I should go on a week-long water binge—you only drink water or tea with no sugar for a week—which I've done three times and really enjoyed. I was wondering if diabetes is in my future.

They told me that instead of worrying about whether or not I'd have diabetes from my poor eating habits or lack thereof, I should take steps to eat healthier now. Instead of going on a weeklong water binge, I can drink more water throughout the day. Although I do drink water a lot in school, at home I don't drink much of anything unless it's right there in front of me, like soda or a gallon of tea that my great-grandma bought me. After that situation, I went to sleep and had two mozzarella sticks after my moms came home from pageant weekend even though I was supposed to be folding laundry. I didn't feel like meditating or doing any grounding exercises despite feeling like crying, I refused to simply calm down. I only wanted to go on my phone and do my own thing.

Honestly, I probably only told the story to share mine, in the hopes that someone will be able to relate to this. Just remember to not get so caught up in whatever you did that you consider wrong or bad. Instead of getting so caught up in the past, present, and future with anxiety, focus on grounding yourself in the present moment and what you can do to improve. Remember, there is probably always going to be a next time, possibly in a way you don't expect, so you're not a bad person for making mistakes. Trust me, I've been there and I'm still working on self compassion, self forgiveness, and self love.

So can you relate?

I hope you enjoyed this blog post. Parts of this weren't easy to write, so I hope that you approach this with kindness, compassion, and understanding. You never know what someone could be going through. I'm proud of myself for being able to share intimate details of my mental health journey once again. I'm not ashamed, and neither should you be. Remember, it's people who bring out these experiences, but it's our job to know what to do with them and how to transform them to make us feel empowered, and come out stronger. We are 100% responsible for how we choose to react to people and situations. Please like and follow for more.

[flowersofjannah]

Brothers & sisters please keep me and my husband in your dua. My mother in law is doing sihr to distance my husband from me and created hatred in his heart. He’s not the same anymore and it feels like everything is going towards divorce. I’m trying my best to save my marriage and crying to Allah but I feel so scared and anxious.

Jazak’Allah Khayr for reading this

Assalamu 'alaykum sister,

oh this is horrible, may Allah help the both of you and protect you both. Ameen. I know of someone who went through the same, unfortunately, it seems like this is a somewhat common thing. Mother's who are way too attached to their sons can resort to such evil things, may Allah protect us, ameen.

I know you did not ask for advice but I would like to give my two cents, if you do not mind.

But first thing is, are you sure your statement is true? A lot of times we defer our issues to black magic or evil eye but it could be own our sins or haram rizq, etc.

Please don't go to those people who say that they can find out if you have been a victim of black magic and they can even tell you who done it, they are bogus people doing absolutely haram!

If you have any amulets/taweez in your house, discard of them in the proper way. If you have photos with people in it hanging up in your house, take them down. Do ruqyah daily, have Surah Baqarah recited in the home daily. If you have any haram rizq coming in, do away with it , and look for halal. Both of you need to recite the 3 Quls 3 times each, blow in your hands, and wipe all over yourself, needs to be done morning and evening (fajr & maghrib) daily. This is an authentic hadith to deal with sihr (I can share the hadith if you would like for me to).

Consult a knowledgeable religious leader who looks for authenticity in their learning.

Be open with your spouse, if they don't know what's going on or what you feel is going on, you are doing a big disservice to your marriage. You can tell your husband your suspicions and why you suspect it. You both, together, will need to limit your interaction with your MIL greatly. Do not allow her in your homes, limit to talking to her only on the phones. Keep trusting Allah. And please, do not say you know it is your MIL, unless you have proof, because if she isn't, she will have quite a case against you on the Day of Judgment. To your husband, you can say that you suspect it as I mentioned before.

May Allah help you both overcome the issues in your marriage and put barakah, protection, and love in your marriage. May Allah remove any sihr or effects of evil eyes on your marriage and safeguard the both of you from it. May Allah grant you both a marriage full of peace and goodness, ameen ya rabb.

Lastly, (I am not saying to let go as a first resort, but a last resort): If you have children especially, if your husband is not complying to the treatments, and you think it's time to let go, trust your instincts after making dua for Allah to guide you. The lady I know who went through this is still in her marriage, it's been about 20 years since the chaos started, her husband hates her and disrespects her greatly. The children have been badly affected by this, they resent their mother a bit for staying in the marriage and have a minimal relationship with their father. When I go to her home, it's a strange and depressing aura, I dislike being there. I even suggested her kids to tell their parents to change houses because she found weird stuff in the house after her MIL and SIL came to visit, and in case there were more things she had not found yet, but the husband wouldn't agree unfortunately. So that might also be something you can look into. She still has hope for husband to change and that is why she is still staying but genuinely, no one agrees with her choice, not her kids, not even me, 20 years of all your husband doing is hating and disrespecting you, not giving your rights, and treating your children terribly? Additionally, he doesn't pray salah and says he is angry with Allah for taking his mother (she passed away). If this lady were not a mother and she wants to stay in hopes of things getting better, okay sure, I personally still don't agree with it but at the end of the day, it is her choice. But if your children are involved, I don't think one should stay for so long where your children are being emotionally and mentally tortured. I personally don't agree with it, may Allah forgive me if I am wrong. No judgment to her, her situation is very difficult, but I bring this up as an example to you that sometimes it's best to let go and move on, especially if kids are involved. Again, please note, I am not saying this as a first resort, please do give your best to your marriage, and give it time, it can take years to heal. But reconsider if you should stay if it's greatly affecting you and your children (if you have children) after all of the efforts put in, especially especially if your husband is not complying to the treatments.

May Allah help and protect you both, ameen. Take care my sister and keep your trust in Allah. 💗

[loadednachosao3]

Non-cartel au Salamanca family? Family restaurant!!! Maybe Lalo worked there too before he and Gloria divorced

Tuco would be in his 30s, been working as head chef since Lalo got fired left. His sister (Gonzo's wife) works at the register. The twins are a couple of years older than Nacho and have been serves/delivery drivers since they were teens (they share a 1 bedroom apartment bc um, well...the housing market these days, am i right?)

Nacho having really nice memories of getting to run around the restaurant when he was a kid but then being cut off from his dad's side of the family bc tio Hector took a while to forgive Lalo for getting divorced and coming out :(

More important question; are Lalo's parents alive? Bc I imagine seeing his granpa/ma would make Nacho feel all new kinds of shame :))

ok all of you gave me some really great answers but I think this one is gonna be the victor for me bc this is so cute

it weaves in really well with what I had already figured out for them, chiefly:

Tuco and the twins are around as "uncles" (they're technically Nacho's first cousins once removed but no kid can remember that), they would die for Nacho

Hector isn't around Nacho ever because Gloria put her foot down abt it after a particularly traumatic incident he caused Nacho during his childhood

and, to answer your question, unfortunately Lalo's parents are not still alive, which is why he was mostly raised by Hector, and coincidentally why he was so willing to cut Hector out of Nacho's life at the first excuse

abuelita Salamanca is still alive but she's Hector's mother and it's tricky to get Nacho to see her without Hector also being nearby, so he gets and gives Christmas and birthday cards as his main interaction w her

now, Gloria's parents are alive, but they live in Galeana, so Nacho's only "grandparent experience" in the US that is not a Salamanca is Manuel's father, who would also die for Nacho. he is this ancient old widower immigrant who speaks little to no English, who Manuel brought up from Mexico once he started his business.

though Nacho isn't blood, grandpa Varga treats him like his own, and Nacho loves him too. Nacho goes over there to help when Manuel can't, with things like shopping and cleaning and gardening and all. grandpa Varga always thanks him with an old person candy that Nacho doesn't actually like, but takes from him anyway.

as for Lalo, after leaving the family restaurant that exists now because this is too cute an idea to pass up thank u anon, he left and got a "good job" i.e. a higher-paying one, and Hector resents him for that especially. Nacho knows Lalo's new job is good, but doesn't understand what level of wealth they're dealing with, because Gloria made Lalo keep it under wraps so Nacho wouldn't go around thinking their family is rich and turn out entitled and spoiled.

[loopy777]

So a what if. If Lin and Tenzin's condom had broken, or the equivalent, Lin had actually carried the child to term, and the kid had been an airbender, do you think it would have been enough to save Tenzin and Lin's relationship? Or do you think it had way more problems than the two parties just wanting different things out of a relationship? Also how do you think Lin would have fared as a parent in this scenario?

Well, my father was once in a troubled marriage which he and his then-wife tried to save by having another child, and the result was a divorce, a second marriage, and me, in that order. So my philosophy has always been that you want a stable, solid relationship before having a kid, as a baby will likely just add additional stress to something that's already brittle.

LoK itself never really explained why Lin and Tenzin were having relationship troubles, just giving his explanation of, "Lin and I had been growing apart for some time. We both had different goals in life." There's some DVD commentary (that I never heard for myself) which clarifies Lin didn't want kids while Tenzin felted pressured to continue the Airbender line. Unfortunately, it doesn't elaborate on why Lin felt this way. We can speculate that her issues with her mother and sister might have played a part, but it's possible she preferred to focus on her career or something else.

(Note that as a fan of the strict definition of the word "canon," I don't feel that we are beholden to storyteller commentary. And the Mike and the Bryan have changed their mind about unspoken backstory before, so unless it's directly depicted in an animated Avatar work, the franchise at best considers it something that can be overridden. But at this point it's all we have to work with.)

So it's hard to say how Lin might react to having Tenzin's dream thrown at her like that. If it was just an unfounded fear of raising a child, perhaps due to resenting Toph, then perhaps she'd get over it quickly when she realizes that she's her own person and doesn't have to continue the legacy of bad parenting. On the other hand, if raising a child is something she truly doesn't enjoy, then being forced to do it isn't going to change her mind and could lead to some real troubles.

It doesn't help that I don't have a very solid grasp of Lin's character. She's another one in LoK's cast where I feel like her actions are dictated more by the needs of the plot than a solid sense of character. However, something I do think is consistent is that she's capable of being a very selfless person, willing to sacrifice everything for people she doesn't even necessarily like because she has a strong sense of duty as a protector. So I think that even if she doesn't want to be a mother and/or resents it, she'd try her best to be a good parent.

But I do think forcing herself to sacrifice so much for so long would have a horrible effect on her relationship with Tenzin. Seeing him so happy with having an Airbender heir would likely cause resentment over the long term, or at least create a disconnect between them, especially since Lin is part of a different culture from Airbending. And for all that she resents Toph, she does take on Toph's former job and fight using Toph's Earthbending styles, so there's a clear sense of legacy with her.

But I think the odds are on Lin raising a kid who isn't bad. My only big concern on that front is her anger issues, where she demolished Air Temple Island over Tenzin breaking up with and she takes her resentment of Tenzin out on Korra. So I can also see some kind of argument with her kid causing a long-term rift that isn't warranted, and/or she instills some real problems in the kid with dealing with anger. But perhaps Tenzin could help with that, if the relationship lasts that long.

[le-panda-chocovore]

I'm finally awake enough to write something coherent so if I may, allow me to ramble back :

You're 100% right about the fact that this AU changes nothing about their actual dynamics, honestly I used to dislike the sibling AU so I totally get you. But now I just think it'd be hilarious, plus we can put some depth in this scenario so here's my takes on the Asano-Akabane Drama :

Gakuhou disowned Karma so he's just acting as if he has only one son and that's all. Gaksuhuu isn't allowed to mention his brother at all.

There's a woman out there who divorced Gakuhou Asano and wasn't completely ruined by the process and I fucking love the idea of them fighting with a fake politeness in front of their lawyers (I think she must be as manipulative and smart as him if they were married). I'm sure she took a few valuable things from him.

Gakushuu and Karma try to hide that they're related. When people find out they just throw a bunch of lies to explain the family drama.

Karma is petty and angry and hurt so he wants to prove to his dad that he is worth something. He's going to show him that he can beat his golden boy without Gakuhou's special teaching, he'll show him that it was a mistake to abandon him. So the reason why Karma cares so much about not putting too much effort into his work is especially because Gakuhou encourages everyone to push through their limits, and Karma is willing to prove to him that he can be better while being lazy. And this is also why Karma is one of the few in Class 3-E who really cares about his grades since the beginning and is ashamed and dissatisfied with himself when he's not at the top.

Gakushuu kinda resents Karma because he got to leave the home and live happily far from their father. Karma has everything Gakushuu secretly wants but knows he can't have, so he's jealous and wants at least to beat him at exams to prove to Karma that he IS the better son. Crushing his enemy is what he has been taught since childhood and his academic status is the only thing he really has.

Gakushuu thinks his father's weird attitude toward Class 3-E has something to do with Karma being there, but he can't ask about Karma because Gakuhou keeps pretending the boy doesn't exist, and he can't ask Karma himself because... well they're not really close actually.

Their mother didn't want to leave Gakushuu with his father, but the boys were given the choice of whose parent they wanted to live with and they had different preferences. The mother tried to stay in contact but Gakuhou actively stopped her, and she eventually got too busy with work to keep trying.

(I also read a fanfic where Karma changed his first and last name so Gakuhou genuinely has no idea that the boy is actually his son)

Alternatively, if we want to step out of the resentment route : they both dickheads and they do fight for the first place but they don't actually hate or dislike each other. They have a "normal" sibling rivalry and they care about each other. They bond over trashtalking about their parents. And just imagine their friends' reactions when they find out that the two are related. Karma's just like "yeah he's my brother" as if it's not the second most improbable thing in the world after Koro-sensei's existence.

What do you think of Siblings Karushuu AU ?

Short Answer:

It's fine, they're cute... I guess. I don't care much for it, not because I dislike the idea, but because I feel like them being siblings doesn't really add much to their existing dynamic.

Long Answer:

I attempted to write Siblings!Karushuu early on. I have 1 complete oneshot, and I think one WIP (I don't remember if I published it in my Scrapbooks collection).

Thing is, I'm not sure what exactly about them being siblings is a draw as opposed to them being unrelated or just interacting in any other premise.

The both of them already have quite a robost family setup that influences their personality - Karma with absent parents, Gakushuu with his too-present father (and ?absent mother).

Sibling AU fics that I've read tend to shoehorn in Gakuhou to be Karma's father, which is expected since he's an established character in canon, and his role can't be omitted without too much damage to the rest of the plot. (Furthermore, if you're the kind of person who is writing a Karushuu siblings AU, you're clearly interested in the Asano family dyanmic (that's actually all there is to Gakushuu) so you're just not going to omit Gakuhou.)

Unfortunately I've observed that this rarely influences anything about Karma. Karma either remains as he is in canon and it's explained that he's a black sheep in his family to have ended up in 3-E, or the plot puts him in 3-A and it's explained that he either has an impending transfer to 3-E/it's his last chance; or that his nepotism is what keeps him in 3-A. Karma's values and principles about academics and the inherent worth of human beings is rarely affected in these retellings (because that's what people like about Karma) but because that's Gakuhou's main shtick, it feels like the whole premise didn't matter at all.

There's even less to say about Gakushuu's mother because neither Karma nor Gakushuu's mothers are present in canon anyways and it's easy to just explain them away as unimportant, given how much space Gakuhou takes up in the mind. Usually I read that their mother takes off with Karma and leaves Gakushuu alone with Gakuhou, so... no changes there.

Another potential appeal is the sibling dynamic between Gakushuu and Karma - but then I'll just question what exactly about a sibling relationship differs from... any other relationship between two unrelated people. Karushuu in canon already has the sort of snarky-bantering-rivalry energy anyways, if that's the thing you're looking for. I've seen fics that write them as estranged by having their parents split them up as kids, but then that's essentially the same as a childhood friends AU. I guess we really can't replicate familial love and the obligation of being blood related unless it's this specific context. The idea that they're cut from the same cloth, only separated by time, but they will eventually reunite... oh hey, we can make them soulmates, put a curse on them, or make a demon pact.

There's also the resentment angle, as overcompeting siblings tend to have, "you look like the other parent" acidity if we throw in a divorce plot. But that doesn't affect their existing interaction, I feel - it gives them different things to say when they fight, but they're still rivals as they would in canon.

I don't know. My point is that I guess I can't think of a premise that would interest me in a sibling au above any other au if I had the option. Any differences that do arise feel miniscule and don't affect the broad strokes of whatever I'm looking for in a fic.

...Not even incest, which is a hot take. Yeah, I read/write and enjoy incest. But come on, whatever Gakushuu and Gakuhou have going on in canon already is far more interesting than anything I could ever manufacture for sibling Karushuu. The strange enmeshment and tension that the canon Asanos have in Mamasano's absence, ...could work similarly to sibling Karushuu's furtive us-against-the-world codependency under their Father's omniscent gaze... if you're into that sort of thing. I could be, but more often than not the Asano family dynamic pulls me away from looking elsewhere.

I mean, I'm just not into the siblings thing. You could be. Don't take this post as my condemnation of Karushuu siblings, I still enjoy reading them and the quality of the fic takes precedence. I've had my expectations pleasantly subverted before.

Hehe thanks for the ask! I love rambling

[mc-critical]

How do you think Şah Huban and Ibrahim's relationship really was? We've never been given insights about it and while I would have loved flashbacks, the way it is also fits well imo. Şah has an air of mystery around her, part of why I love her so, because I love unravelling ambiguous yet clear characters with hints but not insights to their backstory. I've always been drawn to them and Şah Huban is another one of them.

Personally, I can see why they would be drawn to each other at first. They are both shown as appreciative of art, very intelligent and pragmatic and have a similar personality, but in the long run I can't see them working as both prefer to be the dominant partner and Şah is very prideful and always maintains a power balance with those not from the family, whereas Ibrahim is quite insecure. They'd clash.

Even Hatice's reminder of his status hurt him so much that he started an affair with Nigar. According to him, it was a loss of innocence between them and for sure Hatice's innocence, purity, and nativity is what I think drew him to her, and I can see why. Among all the darkness of politics, power plays, his own insecurities and early loss of innocence, Hatice would have been the one ray of light to him..Their entire early interactions and love was so pure and free of darkness and I don't think he ever had that with Şah, who I don't think was ever innocent.

Şah also told Hürrem that Ibrahim is quite difficult to control and I thought that was maybe hinting at the past. It always seemed to me that she was the one who ended things with Ibrahim, judging by her and Ibrahim's interactions ( I really wish we had more of those ) and I have many theories why.

Also, my personal interpretation is that she did move on from Ibrahim and only had vestiges of her feelings for him, his memories to be more precise, left by the time we see her. Unlike many people, I don't think her unwillingness to be with Lütfi sexually or romantically has anything to do with Ibrahim. I just don't think she loves him or wants him and I can see why tbh. While he is a decent enough politician, he doesn't have much personality to be attracted to nor demeanor lmao. even the way he read her that piece of poetry was quite dry, and he is visibly much older than her.

What do you think?

{I also love Şah's character for much of the same reasons you do. Her lack of a backstory and more simplistic design that isn't put through a deconstruction for a character arc in the way Hatice's was during S02/3 bring us one of the most unique characters in the whole franchise. These aspects of her personality complement her motivation and I find her motivation to be the most fascinating element about her that makes for an interesting, contrasting duality in all her relationships. Revealing more backstory for her risks throwing all this out of the window, that's why I'm usually okay with that the show not delving deeper into her past.}

Still, in the case of Ibrahim, I agree that we could've seen a few more flashbacks. I feel Şah's distance and tiny resentment of Hatice stems from her previous feelings for Ibrahim and more flashbacks would put that distance and resentment into more context, which I don't think would harm her character all that much. It would actually help flesh out Şah's relationship with Hatice on a deeper level and that's always welcome for me, since I found their relationship to be the epitome of where Şah's character shines the most. All these delicious contrasts, the way her ambition goes with the care she has for the people she's closest to.... I love it! sorry for the blabbering

I also pretty much agree with your view on Şah and Ibrahim's relationship. They definetly wouldn't get on all that well - their ideals would clash right out of the gate and Şah isn't a person that would pull rank out of ignorance, it's not something she wants to detach from, no, she's living with her position and she's proud of it. Anytime Ibrahim would disagree with Şah, I feel she's going to pull rank instantly. And that's not something that Ibrahim would bear - Hatice did it one time and that one time was enough to make him doubt his whole relationship with her, I believe with Şah it's going to be an even more reccuring conflict and it's going to make things even worse.

I believe that in Manisa, in their past, Şah didn't have hopes for so long when it came to Ibrahim. Maybe she learned very quickly that he didn't have any feelings for her. Maybe Ibrahim didn't pay all that much attention to Şah and if she tried to give him subtle hints, he didn't catch on them at first. If Ibrahim and Hatice indeed had tiny crushes on each other that just hadn't had the chance to flourish yet in Manisa (as the flashback from E58 implied) and Şah became aware of this? All these factors could've contributed to Şah moving forward, along with her ambitious personality. Even her older self isn't a person who would fight what she views as a pointless battle (she didn't want to fight Mihrimah, she didn't get why Hürrem was such a problem at first, she could hold her part in the decisions SS made for Hatice off for so long) and her love for Hatice was apparently present even when they were kids (the whole horse situation), so these would be decent enough reasons for her to want to step out of it.

Her getting to know Ibrahim more personally after he could've gotten the hint is very likely, too. Her "he's difficult to control" line is definetly something to ruminate on: maybe she decided that they wouldn't get along despite of all, because yes, she would like to be on the more controlling side of the relationship. Not only is Ibrahim very insecure and wouldn't handle it when someone is pulling rank on him, this line could hint that a part of Ibrahim has had that ambitious side of him back in Manisa. Not as much in terms of power, but rather as in his sharp mind and dreams he had together with SS to conquer more than Alexander the Great and maybe Şah felt this aspect of his ambition whenever they've interacted. That means he could have exerted some amount of control in the relationship, and maybe Şah wouldn't be so okay. Both could be very dominating and that could very well show even earlier. There wouldn't be any innocence in their relationship, it would only result in clash of personalities and philosophies and probably both of them got aware of this. While with Hatice it was possible for both of them to get over their extremely idealistic delusions, because they both were able and willing to reason with one another deep down, you wouldn't get that with Şah. It's probable she would consider herself right and not realize what's wrong, especially in terms of pulling rank, because well, that's what the tradition and law stands on and for her, Ibrahim's only role is to fit the mold.

Yup, Şah definetly had some of her feelings for Ibrahim remaining, because that's what moved a lot of her conflict with Hatice. Maybe she felt some jealousy that Hatice succeeded to make this work and that could be also a part of why she wanted to stop Hatice from grieving and didn't tell her where Ibrahim's grave was, but on the other hand, she had accepted it to an extent, as seen by her reaction when she learned about the infidelity. One could argue that she got irritated because of her own feelings, but I feel she felt bad for Hatice, too, and was really surprised that he pulled something like this. Yet both circle back to her own feelings anyways. Another reason why I think she didn't get over her feelings for him completely is that (most of) what she does is driven by personal desire and attacks directed to her personal bonds and attachments. It's Hatice's suicide attempt that drove Şah to act against Hürrem, but it's also Ibrahim's death that made her at least think whether should she act, in my opinion, because of something so surprising happening to a personal attachment of hers, seemingly all of the sudden. (in E84, she also said in front of Ibrahim's grave that she wouldn't let his blood stay on the ground) Şah's actions are driven by feelings more than anything else, but she tries her best to mask these feelings and only use them as fuel to her more pragmatic plans, if that means letting go of them or discarding them completely. She puts mind over emotion not because she doesn't have emotion or vulnerability or feelings lingering from the past, it's more because she considers pragmatism and careful planning the better, more effective way to achieve her goals. Just like the dynastic views and the elitism, it's something engrained in her she's proud of, but in the case of her feelings, when she's alone or with Hatice she can open herself a bit more. But because she has gotten over Ibrahim, she would never admit outright she has something for him in front of him or Lïtfi later.

I also don't think Ibrahim has ever had feelings for Şah to begin with. I don't think he forgot their experiences and memories completely (the "did your love turn into hate?" line) , but he has definitely left them behind him, even more than Şah herself.

While I think the love for another (Ibrahim) was a part of Şah's distaste for Lütfi, especially because the first hint of conflict between them, as far as I recall, was him sorta shading on Ibrahim in E82, it's definetly not the only factor. He just isn't a guy she could fall in love with, no matter how much he seemed to love her (more like tough love, but still), I'm sure she has gotten to know the more shadier aspects of his character, since they've lived together for so long. (even though the situation around the prostitute surprised her, since she hasn't ever seen such amount of disrespect, Şah may have seen other skeletons in his closet. He seemed to be very authoritarian in the relationship. She also said in E101 that the divorce was a long time coming and I don't think it all originated from the show, the situations there were simply the peak of previous issues.) It being a forced marriage made things even worse, no one would like a forced marriage. I actually admire Şah for keeping up with this marriage for so long and finding advantage in it, being as composed as possible. (when she is) Their daughter is most probably what kept them together all these years, on a personal level outside of Şah's ambition.

[ben-the-hyena]

So knowing Dick the 3rd actually has 2 older siblings and that Dick the 2nd had 3 kids in total intrigued me so much that in the course of ONE day I made lots headcanons

They are named David and Doris. David is a plane pilot who goes around the world and Doris is a hired goon who has blood on her hands but doesn't care. David is the eldest, Doris is 2 years younger. David has a sphinx cat as pet/henchman named Rameses, Doris a weasel named Schemey

They were 11 and 9 by the time of the original show, already existing. Their father wasn't absent unlike for Dick years later, he was a good villain dad to them, but they still suffered that whenever he was home the house was not calm and was full of tension since he and Delilah would fight every time

Dick the 3rd was made quite late (David was 18 and Doris 16) as a desperate attempt to save the marriage. But it was useless, Dick the 2nd and Delilah just despised each other at this point so the birth of the 3rd kid didn't help at all. On the contrary, now Dick the 2nd was so stressed at the idea of seeing her once home with new fights and arguments as well as knowing the years went by and he still never won a race that he just avoided home as much as he could, thinking about himself before his son even if he did love him as a selfish coping way (since he refused divorce for a good while, being a boomer, until giving up and accepting when Dick would be 12) while said son would grow up lonely with an absent father he would resent (who tries to catch up now all while acting like it was nothing which irritates his youngest child who is still angry) and still be pressured/subconsciously influenced in looking like him and siblings he hardly grew up with since they had their adult life and were home only on special occasions, siblings he also always was jealous about since father was THERE for them, all while having a guilt feeling in him deep down about the fact his role, marriage saver, failed, even if it had not been his fault (SOMEONE HELP THAT MAN HE IS TOO ANGSTY)

In that cancelled season 3 episode where Delilah misnames Dick as David before he corrects her and she shrugs with annoyance "ugh whatever", it's not (only...) to be mean but it's actually simply BECAUSE her eldest son is named David and parents of several children often get confused and accidentally swap names lol

Like I said in a post, I see David as trans, hence why he was not named Dick and was not influenced in this mysoginistic boomer family into following the dad's steps. His dead name is Dora and he transitionned around the time Dick was born, so for a good while notably during the original show their father had "2 daughters". However while it took time to Delilah to accept it but she ended up to and now uses the righr pronouns and name, Dick the 2nd is still in denial and is being innocently transphobic, sure that even 30 years later it's still a phase and "she" is just being a tomboy, keeps calling him by his dead name or "his girl", etc NO MATTER his hormone therapy, his suits with ties and his Dastardly moustache. David gave up and just grumbles

Dick the 2nd's siblings were around for their eldest niblings, barely caring for the youngest ("one so late ? What is he for ?") and therefore were influences. Dread Baron was notably close to David, influencing him in being a pilot (you can't tell me he wasn't one before becoming an athlete, just look how he's dressed ; I actually HC the same for his brother), and their sister Sherif Longarm's mother (WILL HAVE TO DRAW HER AND CREATE HER BIO) was especially close to Doris, teaching her about law and corruption which would become useful in being a gangster

David and Doris do get along (the villain way : mutual bullying and insults etc) with Dick, but there still is an awkwardness resulting in the fact there are too many years in between that had them not grow up together and sure know each other but more as acquaintances/pals than real siblings. The awkward tension is there all the time

David has no kids, Doris has psychotic triplet daughters, Dana Della and Dahlia, born from a very short Las Vegas marriage (dude flew the coup when he saw 3 babies in the ultrasound and never was seen again) who are preteens by the time of the show and are hellish to their youngest uncle, or to David too actually just anyone who isn't their mom and dares babysit them. Evil Huey Dewey and Louie

Scoob!Movie verse wise, David was the accident that had Dick the 2nd propose to Delilah out of boomer principles (you remember my post about my HCs for Scoob!Dick), Doris was made at a mutual attempt at convincing themselves the marriage was worth it and Dick the 3rd there too to try to save the marriage in vain divorcing when he was 13 after years of being stubborn. The age gap is not huge at all (2 between David and Doris, one 2 or 3 between Doris and Dick) so Dick the 3rd was not alone and they all grew together and Dick the 2nd was not absent (that is until he disappeared for 6 years to try to look for his dog never giving any news and they thought he was dead and were all MAAAAAD when after the movie's events he acted like nothing happened "HI KIDS DADDY IS HOME- OW WHY DID YOU SLAP YOUR OWN FATHER !?") but they all suffered from the arguments at home. David transitionned while their father was away being an international criminal, Delilah accepted more easily in this universe and even if it took a while to their father (super confused when that random young man punches him in jail when he was supposed to be visittee by his kids and see how much they grew, who the hell is he- wait he looks familiar) he ended up catching the thing after a good while. Doris became a goon while their father was away and no matter how much she coldly reminds him they had no idea he too was a criminal until they heard the news some days before he got arrested by Blue Falcon, he stubbornly/proudly is sure he was the influence

[fishklok]

Here is the expanded post, but I might be slightly incoherent.

Since Satenik was born in Armenia and came to America later, she always felt a strong connection to her heritage, which was strengthened with how her family made sure to remain close to local Armenian communities. Satenik never felt the urge to assimilate into mainstream American culture (although she did feel a lot of insecurities growing up over not meeting the accepted ideal of an American woman in the 50s-60s). Her heritage wasn't something she could put in a separate box away from all other aspects of her being. America was always a temporary place for her in her mind - even if she never got the chance to go back to her home country. But while she feels confident in her identity as an Armenian, her status as an Armenian-American feels shakier to her. By this point, she has spent more time outside of Armenia than within it, but she has a hard time fully connecting to the other members of her diaspora in her area. Despite the shared heritage, there is a difference of immigration stories, language (especially the nuances of Western vs. Eastern Armenian), and many other cultural differences. She still feels like she's going to return to Armenia at any moment, but part of her worries it won't feel like home anymore either.

In contrast, Melik never felt an issue assimilating into mainstream American culture, as many people of his generation felt pressured to do. Melik's family had been in America for a while, so any connections to Armenia felt like distant family history (also his mother had Iranian-Armenian roots, so his heritage always felt like a mixture to him). It wasn't like he wasn't raised within his culture, but that only drove the wedge in harder. His older brothers were very active in the community and made a tangible effort into connecting with their culture, so Melik always fell short in comparison. In short, he felt like being Armenian was something you could succeed or fail at doing - and he failed. In contrast to Satenik, Melik was able to keep his heritage in a box. If he's not going to a wedding, funeral, or church service, he doesn't feel the need to call himself anything other than American. Anything more feels more complicated than it's worth. But despite his insistence that he's "just an American", there is part of him that longs for that cultural connection. Even though he changed his very Armenian surname, he still kept his first name. And a lot of the resentment he felt towards Satenik for her close ties to their heritage was rooted in envy.

So Magnus basically got a jumbled-up version of both of their complicated relationships with culture and heritage. On one hand, Magnus never felt like he fit in with mainstream American culture. Growing up, most of his classmates knew his background wasn't like theirs. When so much of his upbringing involved his connection to his culture with the food, music, and languages in the house, he couldn't separate it from his identity in order to fit in. But on the other hand, he was mostly raised by his father after his parents got divorced, which only further separated him from his heritage. The remains he has of his culture now feel more tied to who he was as a child - not who he is now. Sometimes he worries it's too late to get that back.

Anyway, that concludes my way too long post about a subject that's way too messy that I have personal reasons to feel strongly about lol

When I get more energy I’m going to make a way too long post about my headcanons regarding Magnus + his family and cultural identity

Basically the summary is:

Satenik: I don’t feel a connection to the country I live in because my identity is so strongly tied to my heritage and the country I was born in.

Melik: I don’t feel a connection to my heritage because I feel a stronger tie to the country I was born in.

Magnus: I somehow inherited the confusion of both my parents and the meaningful cultural ties of neither??? How the fuck do I fill out census forms???

Satenik: I say I’m Caucasian because I’m from the Caucasus :)

Melik: I say I’m Caucasian because I consider myself white.

Satenik and Melik: We never thought about this for longer than 2 minutes :)

Magnus: What the fuck?????