#especially since she's NEVER thought abt him before this ?? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

base0h · 5 months ago

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HOW DO YOU NOT EVEN KNOW?

he said something awful, something he should’ve never said or thought about saying. but he said it, and now the damage was done. and he didn’t even know what he’d done, leaving you alone to reflect on the damage (feat. inarizaki! thank you for requesting this anon :)) kori, your best friend was always a mediator, but even this time she knew that you were the victim, and he was the bad guy (I get confused whenever I start using too many y/f/n and stuff like that so I just stuck my oc in here instead ✌️)

warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, s/o reader, angst, this does not have a happy ending with comfort sorry, your dialogue is in white, kori’s dialogue is in purple, kori is an oc not a canon character (click here for more info abt her)

You knew Atsumu was popular, that wasn’t a surprise. He was good looking, a talented volleyball player, and he was charismatic. What was there not to like about him?

But still. Why did it still hurt and make you agitated whenever other students would fawn over him? You knew it was bound to happen, hell— you fawn over him too as your boyfriend.

If you had to hear one more deafening squeal of his name, you’d probably lose your mind.

“Miya-kun!!”

“Miya-senpai!”

The worst part was that he always stopped and made time for them. Even when he was with you. You couldn’t lie to yourself, it hurt everytime you saw him smiling at the fans and giving them his time and attention when he probably should be giving it to you, his actual s/o.

You voiced your worries and concerns to your friend who always listened and lended her ears to you.

“I probably shouldn’t be feeling like this.. I mean he loves me right? Not the fans.” You said softly, but your tone was uncertain, you honestly weren’t sure what you were saying was true or not, and that scared you even more.

“No I think it’s pretty valid to feel like that. It ain’t fair for him to do that in front of you especially if you’re on an actual date. He should be paying attention to you, not some random fangirls or fanboys.” Kori replied, scribbling away on her tablet as she sketched and drew as she was listening and talking. Kori always drew when listening, she had a way with multitasking.

You found it funny that Kori offered such sage wisdom and support despite the girl never having been in a relationship nor having a crush on anyone. “Kori how do you always know about relationship stuff when you’ve never even been in one before?”

Kori looked up from her tablet with a slightly hurt expression. “I really didn’t need that stray comment—?”

You giggled, snickering to yourself as you reassured your friend that you were just teasing and joking around. You knew Kori was one of the sweetest human beings on earth, and you trusted her to have your back when you needed her to.

“But seriously though, you should tell him what you’re feeling. He’s so dense that I don’t think bro would know unless you tell him directly.” Kori suggested, going back to drawing. She was right, Atsumu was quite oblivious, and probably thought nothing of what he was doing since he was so used to the attention.

So you decided to gather your courage to speak to the blonde twin about your concerns. You thought that it’d go ok, maybe he’d be a bit confused, but he would comply and maybe give you a hug or a couple kisses to reassure you.

“Huh? Whaddya talkin’ about babe?”

…

What did he mean, “whaddya talkin’ about”?

You thought you worded yourself quite clearly for him to understand, you knew he wasn’t stupid or anything— at least not THAT stupid.

“So yer worried about all the other people talkin’ to me? Babe don’t worry, it ain’t like I’m kissin’ ‘em or anything.”

You felt your heart twist. Did he just— not get it? Or did he not care? Did he care about you and everyone else the same? No. That can’t be right, you were catastrophizing things.

“No that’s not— I’m just— Atsumu wait. Please listen for a second—“ you tried grabbing his arm, but he immediately pulled it away.

“I gotta go to practice y/n, ok? Can it wait till after?”

he used your name instead of a nickname.

“It’ll take like five seconds for me to explain—“

“Just leave me be y/n! Yer insecurities can’t get in the way of my practicing, nationals are coming up and you’re tellin’ me yer worried about other students talkin’ to me? Yer just as annoying and as distracting as them at this point!”

“you’re just as annoying and as distracting as them”

That sentence echoed over and over again in your mind. He didn’t really mean that right? He was just stressed because of nationals? He’d certainly apologize right?

But all you heard were his quick receding footsteps that disappeared as he walked into the gym, closing the door behind him. You were frozen there for god knows how long. It felt like a few seconds, but to bystanders and other students walking by, you looked like you’d passed out standing up.

“Uh— y/n…? You good?” A familiar voice asked, tapping your shoulder lightly. You snapped out of your daze and looked to your side where your friend Kori was, looking at you with concern and slight worry in her sleepy golden amber eyes.

You hadn’t even realized tears had pricked your eyes, which earned a silent gasp from your friend. “Whoa what happened? Did you get hurt or something??” She asked worriedly, her eyes scanning your body for any injuries. Your breath trembled as you just slumped over into Kori’s shoulder, letting out a choked sob that you didn’t know you were holding in.

Kori’s eyes were wide with concern as she hesitantly pat your back, returning the hug. She didn’t say anything or press you to explain the situation yet, she just let you cry for as long as you needed, offering tissues and water to help you calm down a bit.

After you had managed to explain what happened, Kori sighed knowingly, as if she wasn’t surprised he’d say that. “He was never the nicest dude around y/n. I’m sorry he said that to you that’s wrong.” Her tone was empathetic and gentle, and she tried her best to avoid saying anything bad about the blonde. You knew him and her weren’t on the best of terms for some reason, reasons unknown even to Kori, Atsumu just didn’t like her for some reason.

Kori did her best to try and at least distract you. You went over to her house after school and she did whatever you felt like doing. Watching TV, studying, playing games, listening to music, honestly anything she’d do to help you at least a little. You couldn’t lie it did help to distract yourself, it felt good to not think about Atsumu. It felt— freeing.

You hadn’t felt this free and light in a while. You didn’t even realize how much your worries and concerns about Atsumu’s loyalty had weighed down on you.

Ding, ding

Your phone chimed, a new text message incoming. You hoped, hoped that it would be from Atsumu. Why did you hope for that? You felt so free when you weren’t thinking about him, why did you want him to text you? Why did you still want him to be with you and spend time with you despite what he did, and how he dressed you out?

You peeked at your notifications, and sure enough, it was from him. You saw his profile picture at the beginning of the textbox, a funny weird picture which was most likely taken by Suna as he was fighting with his other half.

“Is it him?” Kori’s voice made you jump, you could never get used to how deep it was, it was kind of scary whenever she’d talk out of nowhere. You nodded, opening up your messages to see what he had said.

Tsumu: Hey where are u? Didn’t you have club today? It’s Wednesday I always meet you after school to walk you home.

Should you answer? Honestly you didn’t want to. You didn’t want to act like everything was fine. It wasn’t fine. You closed your phone, just leaving him on read as you went back to watching the TV in front of you. It was playing your favorite anime, and Kori was drawing as per usual right next to you.

“What did tweedledum say?” Kori asked curiously, her Apple Pencil scribbling and scraping against her iPad screen in a precise, sharp manner. You couldn’t help but crack a smile at Kori’s nickname for Atsumu. Kori called the twins “tweedledee and tweedledum”. You weren’t sure if she even knew their actual names still. Of course she gave Atsumu the tweedledum name because he was indeed dum(b) about 90% of the time.

“He just asked where I was. I usually stay late for club which ends at the same time as his practice so we usually walked home together. But I skipped today.” You explained as Kori hummed softly in response. Kori didn’t pry or try to bring up the subject again for the rest of the time you were at her house. She thought it would be better to just— let you not think about it too much.

She offered for you to stay over for the night, but you said no to that. But Kori was worried for you, she wanted to make sure you were ok—so she said she could walk you home at least, but you shook your head, you couldn’t make her walk you home too after all she’d done for you already. So you waved goodbye to her, saying goodbye to her mom that had just pulled in from work as well with a soft smile that was half genuine, and half fake.

One half was genuinely happy after Kori helped you out, but the other half was still stuck on that dumb blonde. You’d gotten several messages from him on both Snapchat and text.

Tsumu: hello?? Don’t just leave me on read babe wth??

Tsumu: where even are you? Are you at someone’s house??

You then jumped, shit. Your Snapchat location. You almost forgot to turn it off. You quickly opened the app and turned off your location sharing before shoving your phone back into your pocket, putting on your headphones to try and focus on something different. You blasted music on your walk home, listening to anything your shuffled playlist would give you.

It was like your playlist knew. It kept playing these sad angsty songs that you liked listening to during late nights where sleep just couldn’t find you. For the second time that day, you cried, letting out choked and uneven sobs that you once again did not know you were holding onto. You didn’t even know why you were so hurt by what he said, it’s not like he broke up with you or anything. But still— why did it hurt like he just shot you four times straight through your heart and soul?

It was as if the bullets remained, not exiting your body, but lodging themselves deeper into your torn up heart, digging deeper and farther inside of you, not having any plans of leaving you.

The only thing comforting you now were the snug fit of the soft foam ears of your headphones, and your long sleeves that couldn’t reach past your wrists, staying at an uncomfortably short length that only made you feel worse. Any little thing made everything worse. Everything was just too much. Some part of you thought maybe it would’ve been better to stay at Kori’s like she’d offered before. But you were already too far away to turn back now, you’d just have to hope that the comfort of your own home would suffice.

Osamu wasn’t as popular as his twin brother Atsumu. But that didn’t mean he was unpopular. He was just overshadowed by his twin, or as he called it, his “better half”.

It was annoying how they’d all gather around his brother, he too found it kind of disturbing and weird. However of course he felt a bit envious, insecure about his own likability and looks. Did people find his brother more attractive despite them being identical twins? But why? Was it just him?

You’d been friends with the twins for a long while now, ever since middle school, even before they had their distinguishing dyed hair. You liked Osamu better the minute you met them both. Atsumu was so brazen and confident, and he wasn’t afraid to express his high standards of his fellow players, even upperclassmen.

You found it off putting how offensive the blonde could be to people. It was irritating to be around him. Osamu was different. He was pleasant to be around. He had a sense of humor, was laid back, reserved, and friendly for the most part.

He loved food, you knew that from the first time you sat with him in middle school for lunch recess. His droopy tired eyes would widen and sparkle whenever he saw food in front of him, specifically onigiri. It was cute to you, how he’d light up and become a completely different looking person at the sight of some simple, but satiating food. It was one of the many reasons why you chose him and not anyone else.

You felt so confused and baffled that Osamu didn’t see himself the same way you did. You saw someone special, he saw someone that was second best.

You tried. You really did.

Tried to make him see that he was perfect in his own way, perfect in your eyes, perfect for you.

But there was only so much you could do. Only so much you could say. He had to choose to believe your words, and do the rest on his own. It was called self confidence for a reason after all.

Your anniversary was coming up, it’d been 2 years since you two started dating officially. You took this as an opportunity to plan something special for you and your boyfriend this year. You knew he’d been stressed lately because of the upcoming tournaments, and because his twin was putting more pressure on him than ever. You couldn’t count the amount of times you’d seen Atsumu chewing him out for accidentally missing a serve, a block, a receive, or a spike.

Every mistake he made, every single hesitation, his brother caught it and made sure Osamu knew exactly what he did wrong despite the poor gray haired twin already being well aware about what he’d done wrong. Having someone rub everything in his face was degrading and mentally exhausting.

Osamu was usually patient, you commended him for being as patient as he was with his brother. But it was taking a toll on his self esteem that was already fragile. Atsumu was basically hitting him in the same spot over and over again, not allowing the previous bruises heal before making a new one in the same area, eventually leaving a mark that won’t ever heal nor fully fade away.

But next week will be different. You’d make sure of it. You even enlisted the help from your friend to help you figure out some nice plans or ideas of what you could do with Osamu. However you knew at some point you’d have to overcome your beef with Atsumu for a moment, and ask him his thoughts. He was Osamu’s twin brother after all, he knew him better than anyone, maybe even better than you.

“You sure you gotta ask him?” Kori asked. Ugh, you didn’t want to of course. But yes, you’d have to put your dislike for his horrid personality aside for your boyfriend’s sake. You wanted your anniversary to be perfect after all.

“Can you come with me to ask him please?” You asked Kori, looking at her with pleading eyes, clasping your hands together. Kori looked at you, putting her pencil down as she sighed.

“Yeah no sorry you’re on your own.” Kori said with an apologetic expression. You let out a small groan, you knew Atsumu had some sort of beef with Kori, and Kori didn’t want to deal with a beef she didn’t even know was from.

“Oh come on please??”

“…Y/n you already know what will happen if I go with you.”

“Please Yoyo you’re my best friend—“ You tried using the nickname that usually got Kori’s attention, holding your friend’s hands with pleading eyes. If Kori went with you, you could make her ask instead of you, and if he got too exasperating to stand any longer, you’d have an excuse to leave.

Kori looked at you with a narrow and skeptical squint when you used that nickname on her.

“Don’t use that—“

“What, you don’t like it Yoyo-chan?”

“Bro.”

“I’ll stop if you come with me.”

“Nice try.”

You pouted and slapped her shoulder playfully with feigned anger as you crossed your arms over your chest with a sigh. But it couldn’t be helped, it wouldn’t be too horrible right?

“Huh? Yer asking me for help? That’s a new one.”

Ugh. It was horrible.

You covered your perturbed expression, but you couldn’t hide the sharp glare of your eyes as you tried to “fake it till you make it” as they say, and act cordial. But god, you wanted to tear off that smug looking grin off his face so badly. The tone he used was so condescending and belittling, it made you want to crush him with your bare hands, but you honestly couldn’t tell if that was just his normal tone of voice or if he was trying to sound like an egotistical asshole all the time.

Because if he was trying? He was doing an absolutely stupendous job.

“I just wanted to know— what are some of Osamu’s favorite things to do? I mean— I know what he likes but you’re his brother.. So I thought you’d know better than me.” You said, reluctantly swallowing a snarky insult you were about to accidentally say without thinking.

Atsumu scoffed and grinned at you, and you were expecting him to tease you which might’ve been your last straw, but surprisingly, he didn’t.

“Aw that’s sweet actually. I see why he loves ya so much.” You looked at him, expecting to maybe see some kind of smirk or malicious glint in his eyes, but no, he was genuinely saying that. You were pleasantly surprised, maybe this wouldn’t be too bad after all.

You felt yourself smile at the fact that Osamu had made it clear to his brother of his love for you. If even someone as dense and emotionally oblivious as Atsumu could tell, then Osamu must’ve talked about you a lot. The thought of him talking about you so much made your heart flutter, sending a rush of joy and warmth through your veins, fueling your excitement and determination to plan the upcoming special day.

As you two talked, your excitement grew with each suggestion Atsumu made. Your smile was spread wide across your face, filled with genuine adoration and anticipation from how excited you were to surprise your beloved.

However, you failed to realize that Osamu might’ve gotten spoiled early. Spoiled about the wrong thing.

He saw you, chatting with his twin with your beautiful sweet smile that melted his heart to a puddle whenever you showed him. It absolutely destroyed him to see you blessing his brother with the sight instead of him.

Osamu knew you weren’t super close with him, but it’d always been in the back of his mind.

Is he better than me? He’s probably more fun.

Am I too boring?

Am I less good looking?

Am I always gonna be known as “Atsumu’s twin brother”?

He cursed and muttered painfully to himself as he walked off, he couldn’t watch you continue smiling and talking with his better half so cheerfully. Oh if only he had heard what you were talking about, then he would understand everything.

But he left, his fragile heart and self esteem shattered to unmendable pieces of a jigsaw that would never fit back together because of its missing piece.

He felt like a waste. He truly did.

Oh but no it was the opposite of what he thought.. You were only talking to his brother so enthusiastically because you were planning something special for him.

However, things get lost in translation. Misconceptions cause one person to become blind to the truth, quick to catastrophize, making haste to blame and lock away their feelings to try and preserve what they have left to spare. For Osamu? This was probably the worst misunderstanding, worse than any other situation you’d hear about. This was worse.

Oh this was bad. You just kept smiling and talking eagerly with his brother from a distance, that's all Osamu could see. His mind made up the subject of the conversation he thought you were having with Atsumu, his mind immediately jumping to conclusions that were incorrect. Yet there you were, blissfully unaware of the accidental turmoil you’d caused your boyfriend to suffocate in. Alone. Basking with his old friend, second place.

It was the day, finally it had arrived— your anniversary! You had so many things rushing through your buzzing mind, your heart racing with the good kind of anxiety and anticipation of the day ahead. You absolutely couldn’t wait to see Osamu, you could barely contain yourself from excitement.

You found this restaurant with Kori by researching online. It was a place that specialized in making onigiri, which was an establishment run by an old married couple that had been working there for generations. Kori had said that usually these types of places had the best food, and she was certainly not wrong about that.

You knew it was his favorite, so you thought it would for sure make him happy if you took him there, right?

You were expecting to wake up with a message from Osamu, but weirdly, he didn’t, your notifications were as empty as you left them last night. You thought nothing of it, maybe he’d just been too busy this morning to text you, he’d probably just tell you in person.

With a slight skip in your step, you walked up the stairs of Inarizaki, the familiar chatter and buzzing of fellow students’ varying footsteps echoing throughout the long hallways filled with people. Your gaze searched each head, each person’s hair color registering in your mind as you scanned the area. You were searching for one with a certain shade of gray…

There he was, the one with gray hair by the lockers!

You had to push your way through some students who didn’t seem to understand that perhaps having a conversation in the middle of the hallway was inconvenient for everyone around them. But that didn’t matter right now, all that mattered was getting to your boyfriend.

“Samu! I found this super cute place that’s run by this family and they specialize in onigiri— I wanna take you there after school today ok?” Your vice was so chipper and enthusiastic, filled with adoration and love as he shut his locker door slightly harsher than normal. His gaze looked over to you, and you were immediately silenced by how cold it was. It was sharp, razor sharp, and frigid like a blizzard was raging in his dark irises.

You were confused— maybe he was just tired.. Yeah, that was probably it.

“…You ok Samu? We don’t have to go if you don’t want to I just thought that maybe you’d—“

“Why don’t ya go with Atsumu? You seemed awfully chummy with him earlier, so just go with him.” He snapped coldly. But his eyes, they looked so pained, hurt, and somber, not cold and apathetic like his tone.

And with that, he left you to drown in his quicksand-like words, his footsteps receding as he disappeared in the crowd of countless students.

If his words weren’t already enough, you were hit with the sudden realization that he had forgotten about your anniversary, the entire reason behind why you’d asked him to go with you.

What did he mean “you seemed awfully chummy with him earlier”?? What was he— oh.

Oh no.

No no no— he completely misunderstood!

You were talking with Atsumu about today and what you were planning on doing with HIM! It had nothing to do with Atsumu in the slightest!

But you knew Osamu. Too well at that. You knew that he’d be avoiding you now, avoiding you like the plague. He acted petty like that, just like his brother whom he refuses to admit is very similar to him in certain ways.

You knew he wouldn’t let you explain. But what really tore at your soul was that he didn’t even remember today was your anniversary. You had thought that maybe his lack of a “happy anniversary” message in the morning was a fluke, that he was just trying to hurry out the door to make it to school on time.

Now you knew he’d actually completely forgotten. Your throat felt so tight, your stomach hurt from guilt, but also betrayal.

Some part of you, some part of you knew this was going to happen. Or some form of this exact situation at least. You knew he felt inferior to his brother, and that it killed him inside. You’d tried your very hardest to make it so he knew you loved him and you always would choose him and no one else. But what could you do if he just wouldn’t believe your words, let alone believe in himself?

You, his s/o who he’s supposed to confide in, to trust in, to take your word over anyone else’s, didn’t trust your own words that you’d repeated so many times that you felt like a broken record.

He said he did understand and believe it, but he really didn’t. All those nods and silent “mhms” were all fake, he was never really listening. What occurred just moments ago that left you suffocating in pained silence was proof enough of that.

How many times did you have to fucking say it to him? Why were you the one that had to fix his insecurities? They were his insecurities, not yours. It’s self esteem, not your esteem. He was acting petty and jealous, and it was honestly starting to wear your patience thin.

Now that you were reflecting truthfully, you couldn’t remember the last time he’d talked to you about anything other than his stresses at practice, or his brother. It was always something negative.. you hadn’t realized how bad it wore you down.

You were constantly dumped with negative emotions, and honestly, it could be called trauma dumping at this point. It was mentally exhausting. Having to reassure him every single day of something you tried so hard to get him to believe in.

But if he still wouldn’t trust your word, why were you wasting your energy and devotion on his irreversible immaturity? Why did you have to do all the work only to receive bad news all the time and be expected to make him feel better about himself? It was making you feel bad about yourself. It was taking a toll on you.

You were basically being the positive energy for two people when it was already exhausting enough to be your own supporter.

You let out a sigh of relief, exhaling tension you didn’t know you truly had. Your mind had decided it was time for you to move on, time for you to make him figure it out on his own. He was a 2nd year student for god's sake, he was damn well old enough to fix his own issues.

However with the exhale, you felt your eyes prick with tears of hurt and betrayal from his carelessness, from his complete lack of regard for your own feelings. He had forgotten your 2 year anniversary, it wasn’t like it was on leap year or something! It was an easy date to remember!

But you assumed that he was so self consumed that perhaps his mind thought it was meaningless to remember. That you and your words were not memorable enough, nor important enough to form a lasting memory.

He was everything to you, and you were everything to him too. So why was he like this? Why was he so insecure and petty? Why didn’t he believe in what you were telling him so adamantly?

He only believed his own thoughts, his word came first. You loved him so much, but it was getting more and increasingly difficult to keep loving him unconditionally. It was an uphill battle.

And you were miserably losing.

You had no chance against his own self being the enemy. You would come in second place no matter how hard you fought because there was no first place for you to take.

You knew he wasn’t the sweetest guy around. He just wasn’t a warm and fuzzy type of person. But that didn’t mean he didn’t care about you, of course he did. You were the only one he didn’t actively search for dirt to use as blackmail material later.

He wasn’t the most warm and fuzzy person that’s for sure, but you loved him anyway. His fox-like eyes, his quiet and stoic demeanor, his tall stature, and his funny hobby of filming the twins fighting or bickering with each other to save for future references and laughs.

The team often wondered how he ended up making you, a kind, friendly, and sincere person, fall in love with him, the opposite of you. He thought about this as well, and sometimes felt guilty about the way he acted, how he was so detached and cold sometimes. Your love language being physical affection and touch combined with being Suna’s s/o was not a good synergy because he wasn’t the biggest fan of too much affection. Of course hugs, cuddles, kisses are all things he loves to give and receive. But in moderation. He got tired of it after too much.

However you did not. You could be pressed against him all day, in fact, holding his hand or being in contact every second you were with him sounded like the perfect scenario to you.

He never admitted it out loud, and didn’t plan to, but your hugs from behind his chair as he’s working on homework or studying were his favorite. The feeling of your arms wrapped around him from behind which allowed him to continue working on what was in front of him, but still allowing you to be near him, for your comforting presence be as close as possible.

Lately he’d gotten a lot of those, courtesy of the upcoming midterms. Now whenever you came over, he was always studying or working on schoolwork with his headphones on, his head leaning over and close to his desk as he worked countless hours and days, including nights. You were straying to get worried by the amount of empty energy drink cans that had accumulated on his desk, even on the top of his dresser. It was so bad that you could notice it while FaceTiming him. Not to mention the trash can underneath his desk was most likely full of them as well, just hidden from the view of the camera.

This was surely not good for him. At all.

Your mind was filled with concerned thoughts of him, worry swirling in your mind, distracting you from your own midterms that you had to study for as well. You suddenly had an idea during the peak of boredom during your math class.

You could go over to Suna’s after school, and buy you both some sort of bento box to eat. You knew Suna probably hadn’t eaten a real meal other than ice pops in days. He kept failing to realize that frozen fruity ice water in the shape of a flattened cylinder wasn’t exactly full of nutrients. Then you two could study together afterwards. Two minds working in tandem were better than two on their own. Or that’s what you thought at least.

Pulling out your phone discreetly, you texted Suna to let him know you were coming over, knowing that he probably would be on his phone right about now.

You: Hey I’m gonna come over today after school with some snacks and food, maybe we can study together?

….

Suna: yeah sure. I can’t text rn I gotta pay attention

You: oh my bad, I’ll see you after school

read at 3:32pm

You were a bit surprised that he was actively paying attention during class, especially since right about now he was most likely in AP world history. His tone even through text sounded stressed and a bit more harsh and cold than usual, but you knew he was anxious and worked up about the midterms which was absolutely valid and normal. But still, it lacked the usual hint of warmth that his texts usually had, regardless of his word choice.

You couldn’t take your eyes off of the clock, your gaze intently focused on each centimeter the second hand moved, slowly making its way around the entire circular clock on the wall, rotation after rotation. You swore the second hand moved backwards a couple times, as if time were quite literally reversing as you stared at the clock.

Your teacher’s lecture was essentially gibberish, your brain couldn’t focus on anything but the thought of going home to study and take care of your boyfriend who obviously needed the help. You were probably going to need help too from the looks of it, seeing as how you didn’t remember a single thing nor comprehend anything your teacher was saying.

RING RING

You practically fell out of your seat at the piercing ringing of the school dismissal bell. You sprung to your feet, as did everyone else, and as you were packing up your things, your teacher suddenly shouted something, his voice shouting over the commotion that had started from the bell’s relieving cry.

“Excuse me? The bell doesn’t dismiss you, I do!”

Oh for god's sakes— you wanted to take the damn bell and smack his head with it for saying that. Everyone audibly groaned, sitting back down with a synced chorus of irritated and grumpy sighs.

“Ok the homework is just studying and reviewing the accumulated material for the midterm on Thursday. You’re dismissed.”

…Are you serious?

That was it?

That was what he made you all stay for?

Oh nah god give you strength to not clock this bald, old, bitter ass, Walmart bill nye in the face with your textbook. You thought about it, seriously debating whether or not it’d be worth it. But you walked past him, deciding it wasn’t worth your time. You took a deep breath in and out, exhaling the pain of that math class as you walked with a determined look in your eyes. You had a plan.

You’d hit the convenience store on the way to Suna’s house, buy some food for the two of you, and then go over to his house to help him actually eat a normal meal, maybe clean up a bit, and then study of course.

With a fast and brisk pace, you walked into the store with a singular goal in mind, quickly picking out a couple of bentos for the both of you. Exiting the store right after you walked in, your quick pace never wavered as you made your way towards your boyfriend’s house, the plastic bag full of the food and snacks in your left hand, your bag in your right, determination in your eyes, and compassion in your heart.

As you knocked on the door, you saw the familiar face of his mom who immediately smiled upon seeing and recognizing you.

“Ah y/n, I’m so glad you’re here actually. Rintaro just got home— he’s been so quiet lately. He’s been locked up in his room everyday after school and on the weekends.. I think he’s studying but I’m a bit worried that it’s too much. The boy won’t listen to me either about drinking all those energy drinks.. maybe you’ll have better luck?”

His mom looked at you with hopeful eyes, and you smiled, nodding and reassuring her you’d try your best to help. His mom thanked you with a grateful smile, nodding as you walked up the stairs, down the familiar hallway to your boyfriend’s room.

You thought about knocking first. Should you? He was your boyfriend.. Did you really need to knock? Well it was courteous to knock before entering anyone’s do—

And suddenly the door opened for you, revealing the tall figure of Suna in front of you. His narrow, fox-like eyes droopy, tired, and strained from staring at a laptop for too long, or reading in the dark. He had faint dark circles underneath his hazel green eyes, and his hands were a bit shaky, just barely noticeable, probably from the obscene amount of caffeine he’d consumed these past few days to stay up and study. You showed him the bag full of various snacks and food with a little smile before he stepped aside, opening the for further for you to come into his room.

Your eyes widened slightly, but you stayed silent as you took in the whirlwind of disarray that was your boyfriend’s room. It looked like hurricane Katrina had ravaged his room. Empty cans everywhere, wrappers from countless ice pops, pencil and eraser shavings, crumpled up pieces of paper, and dirty clothes. It didn’t smell wonderful, that's for sure.

You saw just how exhausted he looked, how stressed and anxious he was. He never usually studied this hard for school, in fact— you’d never really seen him studying much at all. Midterms plus the stress of the upcoming volleyball qualifying tournaments were probably weighing down on him more than he could handle. You looked at him with a worried and sorry look on your face as you watched him eat his bento in silence.

He did not utter a single word, not a hello, not a how are you, just nothing but the silence and the sounds of chewing. It was awkward for you to say the least. So you decided to break this uncomfortable silence, trying to bring up a more light hearted topic to hopefully bring some light to his dark room.

“So.. Anything new and funny happen with the twins?”

You knew he liked to leave the twins to fight and bicker without stopping them because it was fun to film their brawls. He could care less about them hurting each other by accident, it was entertaining to watch them fight. He didn’t respond, he simply kept chewing, his eyes lost in thought as they stared at the ground with nothing but a vacant empty iris with no color or hue. It was like all the color was sucked out of his eyes, and it was starting to take his skin too. He was getting paler as you sat and stared at him!

Maybe he didn’t hear you, so you repeated yourself a second time, not noticing how the moment you started speaking, his fists clenched and trembled as he gripped his pant legs.

“Rin?? Can you hear m—“

“God y/n can you shut the hell up please?!” He snapped, his fist slamming against the hardwood floor, making the house shake just slightly, making you jump in surprise and shock. Your eyes were wide, searching his gaze for a hint of guilt or remorse, maybe he was just stressed and overstimulated?

But his eyes were ice cold, filled with irritation and frustration, not a hint of remorse in them. Did.. did he really mean that?

Surely he didn’t.

No he didn’t, right?

…Right?

“S-sorry..” You couldn’t help but stutter a bit, taken aback by his sudden outburst. He continued eating in silence, you could practically feel his frustration and stress seething off of him like smoke. You purse your lips together, struggling to not release your tears.

You knew it wasn’t all that bad, but still, it hurt to hear him say that to you. You knew it wasn’t supposed to make you feel this horrible, but it did. No amount of convincing yourself it wasn’t that bad of a sentence would take away or lessen the pain it gave you.

About 39 minutes of dead silence followed, and you got up, taking all the empty cans and containers scattered across his room and sticking it all into a trash bag, tying it up and leaving it by his door for him to take out later. You decided that maybe it would be best to leave him alone, and grabbed your things, opening the door to leave, glancing back at your boyfriend who was studying, wearing his headphones. You wanted to say goodbye, you wanted to say you loved him and to not push itself too far. Most of all, you wanted to hear him say that he loved you. But judging from earlier, he probably wouldn’t even want to hear your voice at all.

“See you later Suna.” You muttered under your breath, closing the door behind you as you left. Did he even realize you were leaving? He didn’t even look up from his desk. He didn’t thank you for the food. He didn’t thank you for cleaning up. He didn’t thank you for trying to help him. Nothing you did was acknowledged. You went out of your way to help him, and it appeared that maybe that wasn’t the right thing to do.

You quietly walked down the steps, opening the front door and closing it behind you.

With your back against the wall, hidden from Suna’s family, that’s when you began to feel tears welling up in your eyes, falling down your cheeks as you hid your face in your sleeves. Why were you crying? Was the stress of the midterms catching up to you too? Or was it purely because of his outburst?

You didn’t know. Hell— you didn’t know anything did you? Obviously not it seemed.

a/n - idk why but I’m in a very angsty mood 😂 I’m sorry for hurting you guys I really am 😭😭😭

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joejhang · 3 months ago

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my aftg hot takes

most of these are pretty lukewarm but i'm gonna get flamed for them anyway but whatever. spoilers ??? ahead ??? idk read at ur own risk

i don't think andreil ever say i love you to each other; i feel like the discourse about this is virtually endless ever since nora said it but honestly her explanation was so valid??? they're such a show not tell couple it just makes so much sense for them to show the "i love you" in their actions than ever saying the words out loud. esp bc neither of them have ever really heard those words and have them mean anything real or true or actually loving. personally i think their little percentages and the "i hate you"'s and kisses and keys mean more to them than an "i love you" ever could. i'm not a purist on this tho i do think i could visualise it happening maybe somewhere along the road i just think nora's explanation for this is very very in line with canon andreil.

i don't hate thea muldani; i've made a post abt this but basically my thoughts around her are literally just: she's a human being, and she's never gonna be perfect. i also find it very...interesting how the fandom likes to flame thea (an explicitly stated woman of colour) for being "problematic" and a "terrible person/character" when she doesn't act all that different from andrew, neil and kevin (white men) ??? idk it seems a little strange to me bc she seems pretty on par with them on whatever moral compass this batshit crazy fandom has decided to impose on these fictional and very much morally ambiguous characters. anyway go check out my post i go a lot deeper into thea's character and why she does a lot of things wrong but i don't rlly think she's deserving of the insane amounts of hate she gets in the fandom.

i don't think andreil ever get married; this MIGHT be me projecting bc the idea of marriage is just a very complicated and rough concept in my mind but also just i feel like there's something so beautiful about andreil never really putting a label on their relationship??? like they never define it by calling the other their "boyfriend" or "husband" they just are. they have nothing "concrete" binding them like a marriage certificate but they choose to stay with each other through everything. idk it's real to me but again i'm not a purist people can do whatever they want.

i've said it before but i'll keep saying it till enough people hear me: the aftg fandom mischaracterises literally the main fucking characters; i'm mostly talking about andrew and ESPECIALLY neil here bc neil is not a sweet, sunshiney, oblivious, blushy softboy and andrew is not a cold, unemotional, stoic, "conceal don't feel" stone. since i've already bitched on and on about neil's mischaracterisation let's just talk about andrew for a sec. i think andrew is actually a deeply emotional person and is fully aware of the feelings he experiences. does he vocalise or express them often? no but more often than not they show themselves anyway. him crashing out after neil was kidnapped, letting himself get walked like a dog by neil for three books straight, choking allison for slapping aaron, idk i could go on. but yeah you get it.

i don't actually think neil is that oblivious; before people come at me like "but nora said!" or whatever yeah, i know she said he's as dense as a brick when it comes to people flirting with him. considering how much of the ec the aftg fandom likes to disregard allow me to disregard this little bit of it, yeah? this isn't me tryna impose my own projections onto nora's characters, this is lit just me tryna explain how i understand neil josten (he's my bsf btw). he literally clocks his feelings for andrew in trk (after his deep convo™ with nicky) but he just files it away for later bc he doesn't consider attraction or romantic interest anything to be thinking about considering he's got the mafia and his serial killer dad on his tail. i also don't really blame him for not catching onto andrew's feelings earlier (tho doesn't he get pretty fucking close during that one convo they have in exites in trk???? someone correct me if i'm wrong but) bc dude andrew was out here sending fucking mixed ass signals like bro was saying "you are a pipe dream" and "i hate you" in the same fucking conversations like??? neil has always taken andrew at face value and he's not about to question him now. he's also never confused or uncertain about nicky or marissa and what their comments about him meant, he just genuinely does not gaf about them so he doesn't acknowledge them or pay them any attention in his narration. i truly truly think his dismissal of all the advances made upon him in aftg were borne out of indifference, not obliviousness.

have already said this in detail but i don't think andrew's actually a misogynist; the wording doesn't feel right. i'd probably describe andrew's distrust of women (esp. those in motherly/mother roles) as a similar ingrained wariness that neil has for older men. this is something borne out of trauma and shitty experiences that takes time and trust to unlearn. nora says a lot of things the fandom disregards and for me, this is one of those things i'm a little iffy about. misogyny actually isn't reflected in andrew's actions at all, i'd say. does he respect women? no. but he doesn't respect anyone unless they've actually earned it. and among the people he does respect and care for there are women (renee, bee). he doesn't treat women any differently and obv doesn't think they're any weaker than men are (considering renee wipes the floor w him their first sparring sesh). andrew's an equal opportunity hater and i don't think he actually has any sexist or even misogynistic tendencies. i think what is there is just a slightly biased worldview of disliking/mistrusting mother figures, given his bad experiences w tilda and cass (they've left him w more long-term emotional damage that's probably rlly difficult and complicated for him to work through esp considering cass did love??? him and he did want her enough to be willing to suffer dr*ke to be close to her; there's more to it but for the sake of word count i won't go into it) but honestly it doesn't actually show that much??? if people wanna say he hates women, sure, but for one, he doesn't hate a lot of things he's just very indifferent to them and two, he holds a pretty similar apathetic distaste for most people and things, so it's not like a very big distinction. i also think the whole "no girls" thing w aaron was very much a personal thing, and his mistrust of katelyn probably came from aaron's past (apparently negative) experiences w other girlfriends and friendships in general. and if i remember correctly the deal wasn't even "no girls" it was just "family only" which is why aaron didn't make friends w the rest of the foxes either. i digress but i don't think saying "andrew isn't a misogynist" is robbing him of any nuance as a character.

i like nicky and honestly feel similarly towards him as i do about thea; he isn't perfect and never will be and i think while the way he acts towards neil and others (see: matt, kevin) is pretty untoward and inappropriate, i also do see where he's coming from, esp after aaron's explanation of it. that it's a defence mechanism coming from someone who's experienced a lot of prejudice and harm because of his sexuality. obv i think everyone can agree his assault on neil was fucked up but i think nora was right in saying that nicky was high and drunk and not rlly in his right mind at the time, and he does apologise and i'm pretty sure she also said he and neil work it out privately anyway. he's a messy character and definitely not perfect queer rep but again, he's pretty realistic, and i think he's honestly a rlly well-written and complex character.

#defeated by the fucking word count again #born to yap forced to follow the word limit #zoe yaps #aftg #all for the game #neil josten #the sunshine court #tsc #andrew minyard #thea muldani #aaron minyard #nicky hemmick #andreil

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judeswhore · 2 years ago

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hope it never ends; jude bellingham

summary: mornings in the bellingham house

pairing: dad!jude bellingham x fem!reader

warnings: none just pure fluff

notes: you can find my masterlist here. this is based off of this ask i got <3 idk how i feel abt this but here we are :)

still half asleep, jude shuffled himself up behind you and wrapped his arm around your waist, tugged you a little closer to his chest to sink into your warmth. a low noise tumbled from your lips as he pressed his nose into the back of your neck, your hand settling over the top of his. the sun was starting to peak through the small gap in the curtains but it was your first sunday off and neither of you were in a rush to start your day. you shuffled back to be even closer to your boyfriend and he laughed softly, the noise a little rough and coated with sleep.

“missed me?” he asked, so quiet it was almost a whisper, the words slightly muffled by your skin. he peppered kisses over your shoulder, tugging a little at the arm of your shirt to expose more of your skin to him.

“always miss you.” you hummed when he started to slip his hand beneath your shirt, fingers splaying warm over your stomach. he brushed his thumb lightly against you and for the first time in three days you felt yourself relax. “don’t ever go away again.”

away matches had always been difficult, you hated when jude left and you had to find other ways to entertain yourself that didn’t involve him. but it had only gotten worse since you’d had your daughter who you were sure missed her dad more than you did. she would complain the whole time he was away, would be extra difficult during bath time and bedtime, half demanding she facetime jude before she sleeps. dealing with an overly spoilt daddy’s girl alone should be considered an olympic sport.

“i was thinking we could go away together. just the two of us.”

“away?”

“yeah, just for the weekend or something. figure we need a break.” he mumbled, lips still pressed to your shoulder. you could only nod, a small smile kicking up the corner of your mouth at the thought of getting to spend some time just the two of you. you adored your daughter but sometimes it was nice to have a break, especially if you meant you could get jude all to yourself.

“i’d like that.” your eyes were starting to close again, the steady rise and fall of jude’s chest and the soft back and forth of his thumb comforting. “y’think we can get an extra hour?”

“mhm, probably. i turned your alarm off when i got in, we have nothing to do today.” you muttered a soft thank you at that, always grateful for the smallest of things he does. jude shuffled and tugged the duvet further up over your bodies, tucking you in warm and tight. “go back to sleep for a bit, yeah?”

content in his arms you felt yourself starting to slip back into sleep, his soft even breaths tickling over your skin lulling you. but mornings could never be peaceful in your house for long.

the bedroom door slowly creaked open and you felt jude blow out a breathy laugh. “it’s like she knows.”

“mummy? can i-“ gaia peaked her head around the door, still looking half asleep in her twisted pyjama top. it was one of jude’s old football shirts, cut to fit her like nightie, still much too large but her favourite thing to sleep in when her father was away. she cut herself off when she spotted jude in the bed, a smile stretching her lips, face lighting up and then she was rushing into the bedroom.

“daddy!”

jude barely had time to untangle himself from you before she was climbing onto the bed and diving at him, knocking him back with the force. he laughed at her eagerness, wrapping her up in his arms and squeezing. she clung to his neck and you worried slightly she might choke him.

“mornin’ trouble.” he teased softly, rubbing his hand over her back in slow, loving motions. you shifted to prop yourself up a little, chest tight with adoration as you watched your two favourite people. gaia hadn’t even looked at you, was too busy trying to climb inside her fathers body with how tight she was holding on to him.

“i missed you.” she told him, finally pulling back to sit in his lap, grinning up at him with identical eyes. he swiped his thumb over her cheek before cleaning the smallest bit of sleep from the corner of her eye.

"yeah?" jude leant back against the pillows, half propped up as as he worked to fix his daughters shirt. "how much?"

"this much." gaia held her arms apart as far as she could, stretching a little to make the distance further and jude gave a playful gasp.

"that really is a lot."

"uh huh." she nodded her head with a serious expression.

"but i probably missed you more." he stated and you huffed a laugh at your daughter's offended look, her brows drawing in as she shook her head.

"did not."

"did too. you missed me this much," jude took hold of both gaia's hands and held them out at her sides again. "but i missed you this much." his fingers found her sides and he tugged her closer, leaning in to attack her face with kisses. she let out a shriek of surprise that turned into a fit of hiccupy giggles as she tried to squirm away from him. jude's lips met every inch of her face they could and you couldn't hold back your own laughter each time he made an overdramatic kissing sound.

"see, i missed you loads more." he laughed keeping her locked on his lap despite her attempts to get free, his fingertips tickling over her sides.

"no! mummy!" she gave another loud giggle and pushed at jude's face as he continued smattering kisses over her cheeks. it was the first time gaia had even acknowledged you were in the room and you simply raised your eyebrows at her when she attempted to look at you. "tell him i missed him more."

"i don't know if you did, baby, that's a lot of kisses." you mused, moving closer over the bed so you were pressed against jude's side. he'd stopped kissing her but he was still tickling her side, tears of laughter ready to spill over her lash line.

"but i made daddy cookies!" at that jude stopped, holding his arms up in surrender and gaia dropped backwards against the mattress with a dramatic sigh, chest heaving as though she'd run miles. she closed her eyes and laid in an uncomfortable sprawled out position, her legs in jude's lap.

"you made me cookies?" he asked. "and didn't tell me straight away?" he was feigning offence but he couldn't hold back his smile when he watched his daughter sit herself back up. she nodded as she clambered back onto his lap, perching herself on one of his legs.

"and i decorated them."

"oh well i think you might've missed me just a little bit more." jude grinned and pinched his thumb and pointer finger together, left only the tiniest bit of space between them. "like maybe this much more. how did you decorate them?"

"with faces.” gaia started to wriggle, getting ready to climb off the bed. “can we go eat them?”

“it’s a little bit too early for that, g.” you told her, reaching out to wrap your arm around her waist. she gave a loud laugh when you pulled her back, settled her down into the small gap between you and jude. she let you tuck her into the space, snug between you as jude pulled the duvet back up to cover you all, a soft smile on his lips.

“why don’t we just stay here and watch cartoons for a bit yeah?” he brushed his knuckles softly over her cheek as she snuggled down into the pillows before leaning in and kissing her head. “wanna spend some time with my favourite girls.” he glanced up at you with that and crooked his finger, his lopsided smile making your chest ache. “c’mere.”

gaia gasped when jude leant over to kiss you, a fleeting press of his lips over yours, her hands landing on both of your faces to push you apart. she waggled her fingers and tried to look stern, an expression that made her scarily like jude.

“uncle jobe told me i have to stop letting you kiss.” she stated, her tiny hand covering her father’s mouth as you captured her other one between both of yours. jude playfully bit her finger, grinning when she yelped and pulled away.

“you shouldn’t listen to uncle jobe.”

“why not?”

“because he’s an idiot.” jude leant over to the bedside table to grab the tv remote and when he turned around again gaia had shifted to try and snuggle into his side. he shared a knowing look with you, both of you aware your daughter wasn’t going to leave him alone for the next few days.

“i love uncle jobe.” she said, words muffled by the cotton of jude’s shirt.

“doesn’t mean he’s not an idiot. here, switch to this side, bug, then we can all snuggle yeah?” tucking his hands under her arms he lifted her to the other side of his body as he shifted into the middle of the bed, propped up just a little by the pillows. gaia snuggled straight back into his side and sent you a bright smile.

“c’mon, mummy.” she waved you over and jude matched her smile, holding his arm open so you could tuck yourself under it, your head settling comfortably on his chest. you brought the duvet around the three of you as you and your daughter snuggled down into jude’s warmth, happy to be back in his arms even after the short time apart.

“my best girls.” jude pressed a kiss to the top of both of your heads, unable to get rid of his smile or the overwhelming love in his heart. gaia held your hand where it rested on his stomach, your thumb soothing back and forth over her skin and jude wished he could stay like this forever. he never wanted to let the two of you go. “i love you both so much.”

#jude bellingham #jude bellingham fic #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham smut #jude bellingham one shot #jude bellingham blurb #jude bellingham fluff

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thedinosapien · 2 months ago

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Theory: Brooklynn talked to N5 before leaving

The finale leaves many things implied or even confusing – in a way that makes it seem like something happened, especially between the scenes where Ben warns Brooklynn about the Bumpy's egg in the suitcase and the scene where B leaves. I invite you to rewatch the final scene, so it will be easier to understand what I say:

It is implied that Brooklynn had a conversation with the Nublar 5 off-screen, hidden from the viewer. The implications of the scene:

Ben is the one who talks about Bumpy's egg, so he obviously put himself in front of his friends. In the next scene, we see the position of each of the boys and girls: in front, Ben (who talked about the egg in the case), behind him, Darius and lastly, Kenji, then we have Sammy in ahead of Yasmina. Keep Brooklynn's reaction finding out about the egg in mind, I'll talk about it later.

Although Ben asks for the egg, the one who has it in his hands in the last scenes is Kenji. It's not Ben, who loves Bumpy more than anyone, or Darius, who is Brooklynn's best friend. She decided to give the egg to Kenji, proving that:

A. Maybe she trusts him more than Ben or Darius (understandable, since Pincus didn't do what she asked and D left her with the Allo, but it would be a bit strange for the scene, don't you agree? After all, Ben is Bumpy's dad);

B. There was more to the scene than what is revealed to the viewer. A conversation, probably.

The only one Brooklynn hadn't seen before in the season was Kenji, so she didn't know about the affection he has for the baby in the shell, that is, she had no reason to choose him, again indicating that there was an exchange of words between the characters.

There is two hypothesis about what must happened:

• Before giving the egg to Ben, he (Kenji) interrupted and demanded to receive it in Ben's place. It would be strange, since one way or another they would already have the egg in hands – in very safe hands –, changing only the fact that it would be with Ben Pincus;

• Or better, Brooklynn took advantage of the great opportunity she had to give essential explanations for the third season: Santos would kill them if she noticed any sign of betrayal on B's part, but with only one egg missing and the promise that none of her "ex-friends" would get in the way of the plan, everything would be safer for Santos. B just had to take advantage of the small gap to tell her friends WHAT she was doing, WHERE she was going and WHY she was going there – remember, the others don't know anything about Sayona's plans. Those informations will be essential for the characters!

It makes sense, doesn't it? After all, part of the arc of Kenji's relationship with the others is that "nobody tells me anything". Having him as the center of the scene, being, somehow, the priority of information, implies a development in his arc and a future advancement in the others' as well.

Note, in the beginning, Kon was the last, but in the end he is the one who is the most ahead of his friends. There really was something.

Now, the final detail that is totally related to Brooklynn's reaction to the egg: Throughout the season she never knew that Bumpy would have a baby. Her reaction reveals that she realized she lost a lot. It's exactly what Earnest said: "You're nothing special [...]. You're never happy with the good thing you've got, right in front of you." This reinforces that Brooklynn's story is about enjoying the things she already has, what she loses with her obsession and what she also has to gain from it. She needs to balance a lot of things in order to finally understand, by herself, what the truly wants and needs.

——————

A stupid theory I posted on reddit and thought it would be nice to post here. Tumblr must be more active, so activity ≃ interaction + addiction/correction for the theory.

I should stop thinking too much abt this show

If it turn out to be totally wrong, I hope you guys don't remember my post lol

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vigilskeep · 4 months ago

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wait, Minerva "canonically" has a baby?? i want to know everything!! when how what - how does motherhood change her, pls elaborate, srry if you talked about this before, i just love them so much

she does!! i talk abt this less bc i think its self-indulgent jghsskks and that people are less interested in this, but it’s super fun to think about for me

the baby was a surprise, minerva was kind of being stupid about it lmao because she was being less careful than she might have been in the circle, especially because she’s a warden now so she’s less likely to get pregnant at all, without really thinking through what might happen. (i’m sure our local kinloch hold spirit healer companions both had their field days telling her off for this at some point.) but as soon as it does happen she wants the baby so badly. as a circle mage and then a warden she had never really seriously considered it a possibility for herself, but she loves children, and it’s been so long since she had a real family

it’s zevran’s and zevran is in antiva most of the time. i think she has a weird crisis about whether he’ll want anything to do with a baby, and she would despise for him to come back just out of obligation but also what if he doesn’t come back, and she ends up procrastinating telling him for, like, months. just a stupid amount of time. bc she was born to stress her man out and to give her wardens unnecessary grudges against him because they thought he had obviously chosen not to be here because obviously she would have told him. truly when will his suffering end. anyway he’s thrilled when somebody eventually does him the courtesy of letting him know

the baby’s a boy, she names him duncan, it sparks a whole other argument with alistair that we won’t get into here. he gets nicknamed junior a lot, partly bc he’s duncan jr, partly bc of the ongoing joke that he’s the resident Junior Warden. he was very much raised in warden blue since the cradle. because minerva is so busy and zevran is often away, he’s pretty much collectively raised in vigil’s keep by the awakening squad and whoever else gets added to that trusted inner circle. which works out bc wardens don’t often have kids of their own so they all just kind of... share this one lmao. (and possibly sometimes also oghren and felsi’s kid if they stick around?) it’s velanna who instigates this bc that’s what the dalish do and she’s also literally the only one here who knows what to do with a baby so thank the maker she’s here (minerva’s practised with kids but by nature they don’t have babies in the circle)

i’m so thrilled that spellblade is a crow-themed rogue-like mage subclass bc that’s exactly what i always pictured for duncan jr eventually. he’s a mage, his magic manifests very young, but minerva is very strict abt his studies and it has the unfortunate reverse effect of making getting his dad or nathaniel or sigrun to teach him combat much more fun. it works out really bc his magic having manifested is a tightly kept secret so it’s good for him not to have to rely on it

being a mother kind of changes/crystallises a lot of minerva’s priorities. it’s one thing to say, like, i would like to improve the situation for my fellow mages at some point, or, it sure would be nice to live past a warden’s usual limits. it’s another thing entirely to have a mage child and need to make a world that’s safe for him and live long enough to see it done. it ends up being a key issue of her conflict with the chantry between origins and inquisition because nobody’s quite certain what the rules are. obviously if she were still a circle mage any child of hers would be taken away. but she’s not a circle mage and arguably the chantry has no right to a child born outside of the circle, with no sign yet (as far as anyone outside vigil’s keep knows) of magic. (like i say it manifested younger than normal so this is believable even to those who think he will eventually show.) it definitely exacerbates tensions, shall we say, because obviously they can pry him out of her cold dead hands

he’s probably still only quite young in inquisition. six or seven? somewhere around there, i hate timelines. not sure where he is while minerva and her squad are on their quest, but given the very short list of people she trusts that much, i have to say that the most insane answer is likely: he’s in denerim as a temporary ward of the king. probably the first elven kid to be such

#minerva surana

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einsatzzz · 1 month ago

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Homicipher ft. Ryuuka rough drawings...plus some ramblings below! (there will be spoilers from the game btw)

I've always loved otome games but I didn't expect to like this game this much when I first watched a playthrough of it. Like, I didn't even know it was an otome game when I clicked on the video to watch it! I thought it's a normal horror vn game djdhdjvdjd

Anyway, I'm lowkey obsessed with these freaks. I especially like the four characters above so far. And I didn't get to draw them here but I like Mr. Chopped, Bride, Mr. Gap and Mr. Machete too! Also, this might already be expected of me, but I love the MC(Adami) too, they're so interesting!

Since I ended up liking it a lot and I also needed to get these wiggles off my brain, I ended up cooking some not-so-serious AU where Ryuuka gets isekai'd to their monster world. I chose Ryuuka because I know she would thrive there (she has quite the homicidal/murderous tendencies/urges, only kept at bay by her pursuit of knowledge + following her twin's moral compass) and can be a freak like Adami too fkhfmdbdnd so I thought it'd be interesting to yeet her in there!

I can imagine she's initially wearing her standard outfit at first (labcoat + black turtleneck dress), but at some point, it would be replaced by the raincoat since the labcoat would be soaked with too much blood (shoutout to Bride for the raincoat supplies). She's still wearing the turtleneck dress underneath because I don't think she'll fall in the water with those hand monsters, so she won't need a change of clothes for that one.

In terms of language learning, she's a pretty smart cookie, so she'll figure it out quite fast. So there's no problem there.

As for how the whole deal with Mr. Scarletella happened: I can imagine that since Ryuuka is a yakuza boss/assassin, she ends up dumping dead bodies of her victims in this strange but convenient building. Because somehow, the bodies dumped there are never found, which is a win for her. But then it turns out that that place is Mr. Scarletella's teritorry 😭😭 and he thought that those dead bodies that Ryuuka has been dumping to his place were offerings for him ("F-for me?! 🥺✨❤️" type of bs). That's why he ends up obsessed with her like in the og, so now he's chasing her down to get her name...👁️👄👁️ (deja vu...ive been in this place before...i can make a 🐥🍎 au out of this---)

Also another thing I wanna mention is that I firmly believe that Mr. Silvair and her would get along as both people of "science" dmbdmdbdnd but I must admit I need to re-watch and analyze his route and endings more, since I feel I'm still missing a few things abt him.

For Mr. Hood, I think she appreciates him teaching her about the language and him carrying her around when she does accidentally gets chibi-fied. In general, she appreciates people who are patient with her and people who knows when to stay quiet. The same would apply for Mr. Crawling though he's a bit on the chatty side. Ultimately, she also doesn't mind having a puppy-like character like him following her around.

My brain is starting to die again ughudhsjshhughhhhhh that's all for now!

#tw blood #cw blood #khr #homicipher #khre #khr oc #oc #oniyanagi #ninomiya ryuuka #ninomiya rinko #einart #queue i can't put into words #including general homicipher tag but not character names for now idk if i'll draw more for this shdfvsvfhgsvdfs #just really needed to shake this off my brain the other day or i'll explode from the anxiety attack that was terrorizing me 👍✨#its a very nice distraction and also just wanted to draw bloody stuff to cope #(are the sketches ship art? u can see it that way if u want but not rlly 100% bc it's just funny to me shfvhvfsdf)#i drafted the ramblings the other night while im about to pass out ; no im not rereading and proofreading that #dw ibuki daddy will be back soon he(ryuuka) is just chilling with some hot monsters

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hwathinker · 1 year ago

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"is beauty all that matters to you?"

pairing ; high school boyfriend!mingi x high school fem!reader warnings ; bullying, y/n is v insecure;(, lil bit angst?, mingi is soo comforting <3 wn ; i've been thinking about how predebut mingi had acnes, he doesn't look any less beautiful tbh. and i thought that if he had a s/o that has acnes it wouldn't change his mind abt loving her :(

wednesday, 7:30am

walking to school. your very favorite thing to do since it refreshes your mind from whatever happened on the other day before. today, mingi wanted to have lunch together with you. you both rarely go to lunch together. all just because you didn't want mingi to lose his fame in the school. well, sometimes you both walk together. but whenever there's a bad timing you would always avoid him after, and he understands that. it has been 4 months since you've confessed to him. and you still don't feel that comfortable to be acting like his girlfriend. "look! its your mingi! should we go to him?" a group of girls passed by you, one telling her friend to hit him up, the other pulling her hand to go towards mingi. "guys.. i don't think it will be okay.. haha!" the girl laughed. her smile was so bright, clear delicate skin, hair soft as a silk. hell, even the boys from other class had a crush on her. mingi was standing at the front gate, waiting for who even you don't know.

you watched them walking to mingi, heart beating so fast. what if mingi catches feelings? what if mingi leaves you for her? what if- "no thank you, i already have a girlfriend." what? mingi said what? you heard him. he told the girl he had a girlfriend. was this a dream? when the group of girls leave, one of them had tears in her eyes, her friends rubbing her back for comfort. mingi then saw you walking towards the gate, quickly smiled and waved at you. truly an angel. you fake smile back, walking to him. "did you wait long?" you asked as you both walk inside. "nah, i just got here too." he said. he still has his big smile plastered on his face. you turned to look at him with questioning face, "what are you so happy about?" you chuckled. "i don't know. maybe its because you finally agreed to be with me throughout this day." he said. oh how you didn't want to do this but you did. its kind of hard to be together, especially when you're the loser in this school.

"so its not about the girls that came to you and confessed?" you purposely asked that, knowing you're jealous. he knows that. "oh that! she just embarrassed herself in front of me. asking for my number and going on a date." mingi sighed. "i'm tired of these girls. i just want to be with you." that left you speechless. how did a kind nice guy like him want to be in a relationship with you, who's like a mess and only care about her academics not her face? you never asked him about his type, you were afraid of not being his exact type. "baby! you're jealous right?" mingi stepped in front of you, smiling like an idiot. "what? not even a little. who would get jealous by that?" you denied. honestly, talking about your feelings feels like you're putting blames on him.

"i know you so well, y/n. please don't ever hide anything from me, even your feelings." he goes beside you again, walking with his hands in his pockets. you're not that sure if you can do that. not even to your closes family members.

wednesday, 11:25am

lunch. its lunch y/n!!! you kept a brave face, standing in front of the bathroom mirror. trying to gather all your confidence to go out. mingi was waiting outside. he told you its fine to take your time and take a breath. "y/n please please please!! its just a lunch, its not like you've never walked around the school with him." you thought to yourself. honestly speaking, who wouldn't want to have a lunch with him. you were about to walk out, but you heard many girls were like.. gathering in front of the girl's bathroom? "mingi.. i wanted to give you this." then cheering were made by the other girls. "woohoo!! go girl!" "oohh is she going to be mingi's girlfriend?"

you stand behind the door, eavesdropping the conversation. then something like a box fell to the ground, making the other girls gasping in shock. "not interested." mingi said. then a light knock were heard as you jump in surprised. "are you done? its crowded here." mingi's voice was interrupted by the noises the girls made. you quickly touch up on your uniform and hair. walking out, the girls were just making disgusted face and glaring at you. "there you are." mingi was so quick to hold your hand. "ew what is this piece of trash doing dating such a beautiful guy?" one of them says. it made you look down to your shoe, feeling judged by it. "can you guys stop? its not like i'm the only guy in this school you could be dating." mingi sounded a bit rude. it was not his intention but because it was being thrown towards you, he wouldn't waste a time being like that.

you both walk away to the cafeteria, leaving those girls saying things. mingi was brave enough to stand up for you. even if it means to lose his popularity, he won't stop defending you just because of your looks. mingi held your hand so tight, reminding you that he will always be there for you. as you both walk inside the cafeteria, eyes were laid on the both of you. whisperings were quickly made. "look! why is she holding his hand?" "oh my god if i were her i would be dead embarrased!" "mingi is so handsome, what is he doing with that hag?" you just ignored all the comments from the other students. mingi cut the long queue line and bought some buns and drinks for both of you. he didn't let your hand go, not even a second. "hey! you don't cut like that! go behind man." one of the student in the line said. mingi just glared at him, looking up and down. the guy stepped back and cleared his throat.

finally, peace. mingi brought you to the rooftop. just the two of you, sitting comfortably with each other while feeling the wind. "i'm sorry if dating me is a fuss." mingi said, opening the bun and drink for you. you just sat there, staring at the bun. "you don't have to apologize. it should be me who should." you had tears in your eyes as you sink in your arms. mingi looks at you, his heart broke hearing you feel bad about being his girlfriend. "hey, you don't say that. okay? you're so beautiful you know that?" he reassure you. the first time you met was when you were alone crying at the rooftop when you should've gone to home. you wished you've never met him sometimes but you're also very glad he's there to protect you. "baby, don't cry. i promise i will protect you no matter what." mingi rubbed your back, his other hand goes to bring your hair behind your ear making you look at him. "you look beautiful, love. inside out." he said, wiping off your tears. you just smiled at him and laughed.

knowing he's the sweetest guy ever, you're not confident that he would spend the rest of his lives with you. why you? because he fell for your kind and sweet personality. but you thought either way. "thank you mingi. i'm really not in my best now, but you boosts my happiness." you said, grabbing the bun he opened for you. he smiled at you, feeling happy that you know he's there for you. mingi likes spoiling you with foods. especially when he knows that you love eating so much.

wednesday, 3:45pm

its time to go home. mingi, who's from the next class was fast enough to wait for you outside your class. sometimes its hard to not be in the same class at him since you're always getting bullied. but whenever mingi gets mad at them, they would always stop interrupting you for 2 or 3 days. but then they will continue to do it again. you saw mingi waiting outside, watching you pack your things. he mouthed a "quick" as his eyebrow furrowed. you just laughed and pack things quickly.

"hey! i'm sorry i kept you waiting." you said, hands both on the strap of your bag. "its okay. shall we?" he held his hand out, tilting his head to the other side of the corridor. you nodded and held his hand. many eyes were watching, but you try to just ignore it. what you didn't know, there was a group of girls from earlier at the bathroom watching, recording the both of you from the back. "heh, she wouldn't last long with him." the girl who confessed to mingi said.

outside, you and mingi walks slowly. enjoying the time together. suddenly his phone rang. "hold on." he let go of your hand, picking up a call from his mom. you waited for him to finish the call, then he end it with an 'okay'. he turned to look at you, sadness filled his face. "y/n, i have something up with dad. mom is picking me up at the front gate." he said. he held your hand again, continuing the walk. "that's a shame you can't send me to my house. but its okay! really." you said, putting up a fake smile at him. he still felt sad because he can't walk you to your house. "don't be sad! we'll walk together tomorrow okay?" you held your pinky at him, as he smiled. "okay." he connected his pinky with yours as he let your hand go. "i love you. i'll call you if i can tonight okay?" he said and you nodded. he then waved at you before entering the car. he watches you wave at him until he can't see you from the car window. sweet.

you walked alone, now in the alleys outside the school. man, your house was a bit far but you hold the urge to just grab a taxi. then, the group of girls from earlier grabbed you by your arm. they surrounded you as you leaned at the wall. "hey. you're song mingi's gilfriend?" one of them asked. you lips tremble in fear, not sure if you want to say yes or no. "answer me, you ugly bitch." the other one pushing your shoulder as you nodded. the girl, who had a crush on mingi smirked, laughing as she looked around. "break up." you looked at her in the eye, her demanding request was.. something you wouldn't consider to do. "why..?" your breath hitched, unable to look at her. "what do you mean why? you know exactly why right? a guy like him don't deserve you. he's insane to date such ugly trash like you." they laughed, other just caress your head, and the other one plays with your coat. "don't you know how hard his life is after you've associate with him? man, if he was still single, he would be so free and not feel like he's being caged with some ass like you." her words hurt like hell. what if what she's saying are true? what if mingi was actually suffering trying to protect you when its not his job to?

"i'm sorry." you said. then, the girl lifted her hand to slap you but there was someone that stopped her from doing so. as expected, it was mingi. "are you playing with her? or are you testing my patience?" mingi's voice was low but its enough to show that he's mad. "song mingi! u-uhh, aah! we were just talking to her haha! i was going to stretch my arms you know?" the girl stuttered, backing off from you. "stretching, my ass. leave now." he let go of her arm, pointing to the other way of the alley. "why should we? oh, we were just going to bring her to grab some drink, mingi!" the girl then wrapped her arm around your neck as she pulls you close. mingi sighed, closing his eyes for a second. he then grab your hand, pulling you back to him. "leave or i'll have your bare face on the internet." he had his arm on your shoulders as he widened his eyes to the girls. "fine! go with your ugly girlfriend then!" she stomped her feet and left along with her friends, leaving the both of you in the alley.

"y/n." he let your arm go, hands on his forehead as he sighed. "i told you, that you should call me when you're getting bullied like that." he says. he's still mad, the fact that you didn't try to tell him about it. you looked at the floor, avoiding his gaze. "is it true? that i'm interrupting your perfect popular life?" you had tears in your eyes, falling to the ground as soon as you move to sob. mingi was in shocked. how could you ever destroy that 'perfect' life? to him, you made it brighter. "they told you that? unbelievable. and you really believe anything they say about me don't you?" he held you in his arms, letting you cry. rubbing your back as he whisper comfort things. "its alright. i know you're fed up with what you heard. but it isn't true y/n. trust me. you'll hear more things about me. like how i do this and that. and you'll eventually believe it right? but turns out its not as true. i'm avoidant towards people. but your beautiful soul met mine. i haven't felt this happy since my primary years." he said, pulling you back and wipes your tears. truly a sweetheart. just like how people say about him.

"but why me? am i that kind to you? all i ever did was put pressure on you and made you protect me when its not even what you asked for in the first place." you sobbed. mingi hates seeing you break apart. even worse, when its about another students gang up on you. "if i chose you, i'd risk everything for you. one beautiful girl doesn't mean she always have a beautiful heart. and you? even so, i saw your kindness first. the clumsiness in you made it stronger." he laughed, along with you as you hit his arm. "i'm not clumsy." you denied, smiling at him. "whatever then. lets forget about it okay? lets go get ice cream." he grabbed your hand, then continue to talk about what's interesting around the town.

"you know. sometimes i wonder if you has ever catch feeling for a girl who has pretty face and pretty heart." you said. mingi stopped and looked at you silently. it took him minutes to answer as he press his lips together. "well, honestly. is beauty all that matters to you? because it's not, to me."

---

omg i finished this on 1day?! im super motivated for this lmfao but um lmk if there's any errors! ty n i hope u enjoyed it :p

#ateez #ateez x reader #song mingi #ateez fluff #mingi x reader #ateez fic #ateez imagines #atz #ateez smut #i love you song mingi #ILYSM MINGI #hwathinker⦮⑅⦯

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madockisser · 1 month ago

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Hello! I love your analysis and had a questions for you

What are your thoughts on Vivi and Heather? Do you think vivi is toxic?

Vivienne Duarte analysis/short vivi and heathers relationship analysis

hii! Thank you for the ask! btw yes i have seen your other asks and i am working on them! just verrryyy slowly(most of them are more than halfway finished but i am missing little tidbits of info)

let me just get this out of the way: her upbringing.

Vivienne very obviously adored Eva and Justin and considered them family. we don’t have a whole lot of her speaking abt them, but in the lost sisters Vivienne says that Eva was once speaking w her, in the bathtub, and Eva had pretty much told her to be kind. To be kind just because she should:

it makes me think a lot abt Eva and what she thought of the fae, and also madoc, but from vivis pov, she wasn’t too pleased w this as a child, and she “thinking it unfair, began drowning boats under the suds again”(not word for word)

i just thought it was worth mentioning. Vivi doesn’t seem to take her mother’s advice, but perhaps she COULD act worse. she COULD act like a monster, yet holds herself back from doing so? Vivi is half human, but faerie blood breeds true.

anyway, Jude only had good memories of her parents, they seemed to be very good to them all, Justin, who never raised a hand to discipline them, and Eva, who “threw her head back when she laughed” and stuff. I don’t recall any negatives of their parenting. Of course minus hiding the world of faeries and that danger from them, but can you fault them for that? Not really.

Anyway, vivienne had more memories as she was around 2 or 3 years older? She was 9 when madoc took her to elfhame.

The point is, she holds more fondness for the mortal world since she was there longer, and also acts like she has more fondness for their parents bc she is elder and has more memories of them.

i think she also holds more fondness for the mortal world bc she doesn’t want to face the reality that her father is a horrible murderer.

It’s unfortunate that we don’t see if she ever KNEW that she was fae before madoc came around, which would’ve been interesting, and if she didn’t, maybe she copes w being “a monster” by staying in the mortal world.

Her character is devastating.

She doesn’t seem to fault Eva for “stealing” her, or Justin for anything. She places all the blame on madoc(understandable, i only mention this bc jude doesn’t seem to do the same, partly so it’s easier for her to come to love madoc) and as the girls come to care for him, she seems to begins to try to convince them otherwise thru hurting them and raging.

random knowledge dump abt vivi below before the actual analysis:

1. vivienne is described a lot of ways, by Jude and Taryn, selfish but in a fun way, and moody when things don’t go her way. her behavior seems very up and down, could be from trauma, could be from her fae nature.

2. Vivi stays in elfhame for Jude and Taryn, and when Jude and Taryn are no longer at home, she leaves for the mortal world. which is bittersweet that she stayed for them and only them.

3. Vivienne faults orianna abt treating Jude and Taryn in a sort of discriminatory faerie way, but she also sorta does the same, through her actions.

Anyway sorry for the ramble, here’s the actual analysis:

I’m splitting this into parts, w her relations, like w heather. Vivi and heather, now i love them. Especially in the 1st book, a fae x human couple that meets up at the mall and at art school is soso cute!

but like every fae x human relationship, or any relationship at all, there’s bound to be problems.

Most of these problems stem from vivis personality and nature itself.

Before i get into it, i wanna quickly add that we see vivi thru Jude’s pov, so there already some bias, there. Also this is just my perceived opinion!

Vivi, throughout the whole series, is a very interesting character. honestly i often think that she’s pretty unfeeling toward humans.

she faults Taryn and Jude for loving madoc, for succumbing to the magical aspects of elfhame and the fae. which makes sense, she is fae herself, she has few reasons to have any sort of attachment to elfhame or the fae.

but it’s to be noted that vivi has the capacity to be quite cruel, slapping and pinching Taryn and Jude for loving madoc and the beauty of the high court.

(now you could say that cruelty was stemmed out of love, out of her want for her sisters to be safe, but vivis other actions are also pretty cruel, in the sense that she may not mean for it to be awful, but it is. she’s fae, so it’s harder to analyze her true feelings)

but what we see of Vivis personality, is that she is very selfish. Jude says that vivi acts like what has happened to their parents is her tragedy and hers alone. she also says that vivi is selfish in a way that can be fun, she eggs ppl on to have fun w her. (eva Duarte vibes)

i can understand how vivi may feel about the girls in elfhame, perhaps she blames herself for what happened to Justin and Eva, since of course, madoc came for vivi to bring to her elfhame. and then she perhaps further faults herself for not being able to persuade them to leave elfhame w her.

one of viviennes main problems however, is that she simply does not try to understand. she does not try to understand humans and their feelings, her sisters and their dreams, or why Jude and Taryn feel the way they do for madoc and for elfhame. She doesn’t understand that elfhame is their home.

Taryn says this in her internal monologue in the lost sisters:

now I’ve got mixed opinions on this. Of course she doesn’t want Jude and Taryn to stay somewhere that is vehemently unsafe for them, that harbors their murderous father and every other horrible thing for humans. but she almost acts like them staying and facing hardship is what they signed up for. she doesn’t seem to understand that they have little to no choice.

they’re human and she is not. they cannot glamour, and they are mortal. Leaving elfhame means eventual death. Jude doesn’t seem to fear it, but Taryn’s actions make it almost seem like she does. not just wanting to belong- they want to live long. who doesn’t want to live an immortal life in a magical world?

and not just that of course, it’s that Jude and Taryn, (mostly Jude since she states it in her pov) is that they don’t feel like they belong in the mortal world anymore.

now she is fae, but we have seen faeries with the emotional capacity to act without selfishness, to love wholeheartedly (obviously she loves her sisters)

i think vivi is painfully comparable to Locke. Don’t hate me for that take but I’ll explain how they have similar qualities, especially when it comes to treating humans. Humans they are supposed to care abt

the same way that Locke did not try to love the way a human loves, to only explain to Taryn not to expect a faeries love to be like a humans, effectively dismissing his neglect toward her, is pretty similar to how vivienne did not bother to not only tell heather at a suitable time abt faeries and that she is one, that she comes from a world where humans are hated, but also to completely dismiss heathers feelings and drag her to elfhame anyway.

And despite the abuse she has witnessed Jude and Taryn endure, she doesn’t even bother properly telling heather how to be safe in elfhame.

vivi acts very often when it benefits her, trying to drag her sisters to the mortal world, not telling heather abt what she is, etc. she wants and expects things to go her way.

She also pretty often dismisses her sisters dreams. Jude’s knighthood, taryns “throwing herself on some faerie boy”, Jude’s being queen, and oaks future.

She thinks of herself. she swims with Locke and cardan and nicasia and valerian, fully aware of the abuse jude and Taryn endure with them, because they’re friends.

maybe you can chalk it up to viviennes being immortal, so she sees Taryns and Jude’s inconveniences as not worth her time.

but as the one person who should be protecting her sisters, she sure seems to piss off and do whatever else is convenient for her.

add on: Her being friends w their abusers was always so strange to me. it sorta feels like a “told u so!” to Jude and Taryn. she WANTS Jude and Taryn to come live in the mortal world, so maybe she just doesn’t try to help in elfhame for that reason. like she goes out of her way to be a pain (by befriending their abusers) so they get fed up and LEAVE.

another edit bc idk where to fit this: vivi was also friends w rhyia, who, in Jude’s opinion, shared vivis content to throw away customs and sorta act unlike her status and title. free! anyway that leads me to how Jude also said that vivi also liked bringing shame to madocs name and would be proud of her if Jude did something to bring shame to their house (encouraging bad behavior is very funny of her)

i also want to add that vivienne knew that Taryn was sending messages to Locke. before Jude started seeing him. this is stated in the lost sisters. but when vivi is asked if she knows who Taryns secret man is, she doesn’t know. so either she’s dumb or she REALLY doesn’t pay any care or attention to her sisters at all.

now she is a redcap, we are reminded of this not only when she admits that she’s been waiting for the day to kill madoc and shoots him, but also when Jude punches that mortal boy, milo, who was hitting on her. Vivienne starts giggling and glamouring.

redcaps, such as madoc, are often described as sorta air headed (in other holly black books) much more focused on bloodlust or whatever conveniences them.

and that’s another thing. The glamour. She seems mostly fine with glamouring her sisters, and also heather. which probably means that she does it pretty frequently in the mortal world as well(aside from just glamouring herself to look human and glamouring leaves). take that info as you will, but i always thought of glamouring as pretty screwed up, though it is completely unsurprising that she would do it in the mortal world and it’s not something to hold against her. it’s just how she survives.

Similarly to how Jude struggles to survive in elfhame, even if that means becoming a spy and whatnot. Just survival yk

though she does admit to Jude that she never glamoured heather before the night of taryns wedding, which is good. bare minimum tho, esp compared to how cardan didn’t dare glamour Jude, and asked for her permission once tasked w doing so.

also if i remember correctly vivienne was pretty dismissive about glamouring heather when Jude confronted her.

now on a more positive note: vivi helps Jude when Jude asks, which was bittersweet (sisterly bonding time searching for a dead body!) and i loved that. i love that despite it all VIVI is always there for her when she asks. Even if she can be sorta cruel sometimes, she’s atleast there for Jude and Taryn.

After the coronation, vivienne said that she would’ve murdered madoc if his plan had gitten Jude hurt. I love her devotion to her sisters. And her willingness to off madoc at any given moment, especially for them. AND that she never gives up on them. She is always asking them to go to the mortal world w her. Stubborn! (I also like when she calls balekin an asshole!)

Vivi lets her live w her in the mortal world, she takes oak in, she helps Jude and Taryn randomly, etc.

now oak. poor vivi, being trusted w raising a whole faerie child and protecting him bc he’s a little prince! very similar to how madoc had little kiddies thrust upon him! Except this was not vivis fault, and she had no choice.

i think her and oaks relationship was cute, how they are still family despite not being directly related, how she raises him in a very big sisterly way! i think her raising oak also helped a lot w her character development. though we don’t see it, id like to think that she learned things from oak, how to be a better sister mostly.

though naturally she threatened to leave oak at school or ditch him (LOL she’s a very accurately written big sister imo) she didn’t, and cared for him, maybe in an offhand way, and maybe she dismissed his dreams, but that’s just how she is lol. Long lasting sibling tradition to dismiss their life’s work ig!

in qon, which im rereading rn so i apologize if i mistake something, heather and vivi are broken up(deserved) and heather asks vivi to wipe her memory of it all.

now vivi, again, doesn’t even TRY to understand. lol. i wonder a lot at the parallels between Eva and madoc relationship, to heather and vivis.

If they are even a little similar, then OF COURSE Eva left madoc, minus every other reason to leave him lol.

anyway, before her memory is wiped, heather is in elfhame, cardans a snake, and heather is an angel as always. she comforts Jude and tells stories to find some sort of solution to cardans curse. eventually, they’re off to patch things up. memory wipe and other romantic endeavors!

I’d like to add, that i think that vivi has the capacity to change, i think she did, while we only got glimpses of their relationship in tsh and tpt, the heather and vivi crumbs seemed so very sweet.

(Edit after reading “faeries never lie” i think vivienne HAS changed by the end, understands heather and where she is coming from, and truly does love her, and was willing to give away years of her lifespan for heather)

and i really adore the thought that she changed her previous foul behaviors for heather. that’s sweet. it’s HUMAN. Vivienne loved like a faerie, i assume like madoc, until she unlearned it, for heather, because she knew that heather deserved better and that their relationship was suffering bc of it.

i highly recommend faeries never lie, as it is adorable, and i loved it. Heather is a really cool character and I’m glad we got her pov on their relationship!

i won’t spoil too much, but what vivi puts heather thru, (GRANTED, heather DID ask for her memory to be wiped, but only bc of the trauma she endured in elfhame) was so sad to read. but their ending bro. IT WAS SO CUTE.

and I’m glad Heather sorta proved herself and proved vivi that she could be cunning, that she can handle the fae even despite her fear of them.

I’m glad to see that their relationship patched up nicely. even if it took vivi a second try to fix things, vivi def deserves a happy life after what’s she’s endured.

anyway, i think Jude’s and heathers relationship is pretty sweet. and vivi acting the way she does, helps the plot move along, and also helps with Jude’s character development. it really outlines that Jude truly is isolated.

moral of the story, i do like vivienne even if more than half of this was negatives (sorry) she could’ve been a better sister considering it all, but it makes sense to me why she wasn’t. She endured A LOT.

anyway, thank you for the ask! i hope it made sense, i sorta just dumped out all my vivi knowledge lol 🫶 (didn’t go back to get Taryn’s pov in the lost sisters bc i don’t trust that sketchy pdf 😒)

Anyway sorry it took AGES upon AGES to get to, i am really sick rn 😐 hope my feverish delirium made any sense at all, especially considering i kept going back and adding paragraphs between paragraphs (IM SORRY LOL)

#tfota #the cruel prince #jude duarte #the folk of the air #tcp #vivienne tfota #vivi tfota #vivienne duarte #vivi duarte #holly black #faeries never lie #heather tfota #the folk of air #the wicked king #the queen of nothing #madoc #taryn duarte

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tmwcs · 1 year ago

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hi reinaa hru? My brain just gave me an idea abt heethan where readen like runs away cause she thinks heethan doesnt want her anymore and she leaves all of her stuff behind so heethan cannot like track her by credit cards or by her phone so she leaves em all behind and flies away to her parents but surprise surprise, heethan finds her and gives her the most toe curling punishment to ever exist

also can i be 🏆 anon? thanks love u nd ur brain sm! ♡♡♡♡

”Surprise! Guess Whose Here?”

Warnings: heavy non/dub-con, mentioning of punishments, human rights violation, yandere behavior (hardcore yandere) mentions of the word ‘rape’ (again, non con), stalking, coercion, force, brutality, and lots of juicy, obsessive love. Reader is a bit touched starved and this is more consensual than you might think.

“Y/n! What are you doing here? Come inside, it’s dark.”

your mother pulls you in, completely stunned to find you standing at the doorstep. With hard work and perseverance, you left college and gave up your dorm assignment. Leaving no trace of your whereabouts, you left without saying anything to anyone. It was easy, considering the change in Heeseung’s behavior. You didn’t indulge any information regarding him to anyone, not even your parents; as far as they were concerned, you were here on vacation…a vacation where you will eventually indulge and spill your plans on doing college online, and eventually transferring.

heeseung had been quite distant, emotionally and mentally. Yet his possessive and obsessive attitude still remained, but it was so different to see it without the constant indulgence of your touch, the clinging ness of your kiss, and the desire for your flesh. He has been so stoic and barely spoke to you.

You had figured he lost interest, so you asked him if he wanted a break. It shocked you that he grew angry at your inquiry, and punished you by isolating you for days. Punishments weren’t out of the ordinary, at least for him. He always stated it was to show how much he loved you, yet since his behavioral change, his punishments lacked the brutal force of his physical caliber of passion and lust…it lacked the yearn for your body, which you never thought you would admit that you would miss, considering what he used to do was flat out rape, but would transition to an equal rate of desire on your part.

when the punishments came without his usual insatiable acts, you knew it deep down, you lost him…or rather, he lost you…he lost the love he had for you.

“sorry I showed up unannounced mom, we had a random break at school and I wanted to surprise you and dad.” Your throat grew shaky as you lied, you wanted to break down. You missed him so much, leaving him became the hardest thing you had to do. You didn’t even want to think about why he lost interest…especially since he said he would love you forever. That you were only his, and that he would die for your happiness. Was it another woman? Oh God…breaching that question nearly did you in.

“oh well you should have called, I would have prepared dinner for you.” Your mom expressed gleefully, not at all detecting the hidden sorrow beneath your gloried expression. “But this really is such a surprise, I’m just curious as to why you didn’t come together.”

your countenance perks up. “Together?”

“oh sweet pea! There you are.” Your father exclaims happily, almost as if he knew you were arriving. “Ethan, she finally arrived my boy!”

Ethan?!

Your eyes grew wide as you watched him enter the foyer, smirking victoriously as your father pats him on the back of his shoulder, bringing him in to your arms. “He told me that you were going to be paying us a visit and wanted to surprise you. He said that you both will be staying the entire weekend.”

“oh honey that’s wonderful!” Your mother claims jovially, before turning to preparing the guesthouse for you, Heeseung….and Ethan.

“mmmm you finally made it. I was starting to get worried when it got dark.” Heeseung exclaims as he pulls you into a hug, kissing atop your head. You weee stark shock and would have stopped breathing, had it not been the fearful gasp that forced its way out when he faintly brushed his finger over your ear, tucking the strands of hair behind it and whispering for only you to hear…

“But now that I caught you…be fucking ready for what’s coming…my bad girl.”

your mothers voice breaks the airy tone of his words. “It’s late, so why don’t you both go to the guesthouse and get some rest, we’ll do breakfast first thing in the morning.”

his cold hand establishes grip as he leads you out into the back door. Once you were out of sight from your parents, his gentle guidance turned into a harsh drag as he nearly flings you inside the guest townhouse. Turning to lock the door, he shuts the curtains before slowly turned his deadly gaze over to you.

you laid helplessly on the floor, using your elbows to back away as he approaches closer and closer.

“hee-Heeseung…”

“Don’t fucking talk.”

“but—“

he lunges down and toward, grabbing and restraining you as you shifted and did your best to break free through the scuffle.

“stop! Wait—why are you doing this?!”

he doesn’t even bother to answer you, instead, he takes out a leather strap from his pocket, in which he used to tie your wrists together overhead.

everything happened so quickly, the way he tore your blouse open as the buttons fly off and roll across the floorboard. He used his handheld knife to cut your skirt down the center, completely flaying it from your hips. Your undergarments shredded by the pure strength of his own grip. You would have panicked and braced for what was to come, but this time…it was different. He was stripping you—preparing you for something that he hadn’t done for a while. Did this mean he hadn’t lost interest? You wanted to ask, but the sash he fetched out from his back pocket restricted your vocal ability as he tightened over your mouth.

“I don’t know what you were trying to do…putting me through that, but frankly I don’t care to know.” He voices out as he snaps the lace material from your skin, leaving your cavity completely exposed.

“haven’t I made it clear how much I love you?! How much I care and cherish just you?! How i live solely for you?!” He grits his words as he presses his forehead and nose tip aggressively against you. His eyes psychotically wide with a malicious sense of amusement. Smirking deviously, he mocks a tone as he tells you…

“Now I don’t intend to make this pleasant for you, you have to be punished. when it starts to get painful, and believe me darling…it will…” he chuckles deeply with a dark sense of evilness in his voice. “Just remember that all punishments are reminders of our consequences. To be reminded of them, is not a punishment.”

You tremble as he whispered his shallow, but truthful words before raising the hem of his shirt up and above his head. His abdominal muscles flex as he flings the shirt away, along with his baseball cap. He undoes his jeans, pulling the material down with his boxers simultaneously, right before your very eyes. Your heart nearly stopped beating as you watched the stiff erect length of his shaft pop out, poking through the still air, fully perpendicular from his groin. An image that you had been without for weeks, it finally returned to you. Could it be that you misjudged the situation?

watching as your eyes soften, he raises his brows in annoyance, growing perturbed as the level of fear remains absent, which was quite out of the ordinary. Why were you so willing? Normally you would struggle up until the tip of his cock kissed your soft spot. Instead, you lay calmly, almost yearning for it. He wondered for a moment if you were playing games and conducted this whole charade on purpose, just to get a rise out of him. Was it possible that you wanted a punishment? Why wouldn’t you just ask for it? Or would that have lacked the authenticity of its gravity? Now he was curious. He swallowed his words and inquired while untying the sash from a round your mouth.

“what the hell are you doing? Hmm? You trying to be funny little girl? Because you’re pissing me off and I have it within me to make you bleed in more ways than my normal method.” His eyes grew fierce as his Ethan side flares and takes over. Your wrists remained bonded, despite that, you curl your fingers as you try to signal your willingness.

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…I thought…I just—“ you begin to tear up as you shy your face away and off to the side. Sobbing away, your hair drapes over your profile; you barely found a way to finish your verbiage.

seeing you breakdown so suddenly furthered his confusion. He was still too angry to entertain soothing you, until you pitifully spoke out. “I’m just so happy that you’re here…and that you still love me.”

his demeanor calms down and the anger in his countenance is replaced with shock. What did you just say?

“For weeks…you were different…cold and you just—you just didn’t seem like you wanted me anymore. I couldn’t take it so I left because I was afraid that if I stayed…I was going to find out the real reason behind your change of heart. I was wounded and ran due to your distraction…or at least that’s what I thought I was doing. If I had known you still loved me, I would have stayed…you know I would have.”

he remained still, hovering over you in despair and guilt. The moment you confessed, he knew exactly what you were referring to. He was so burnt out, focusing on graduation so he could be done with college, only looking forward to taking you away. Dealing with the contractors for the house, making arrangements, certain ones that held the purpose to isolate you front the world, but you didn’t have to know about that right now, which was why he was making it all happen in secret. His days were filled in preparing a future to keep you away from the world to only where he could see, breathe, taste, and get to you. Funny how the one thing that held any purpose in his life was the thing he ended up hurting.

he swipes your hair away as his tone softens. “Hey…” he leans in to your side profile, rubbing his nose against your cheek. “Heeeeeeeeey…”

kissing your ear, he warms you with his touch. Skin to skin, you are comforted by the smoothness of his frame. “Don’t ever think that. I have been busy, but nothing is ever going to take me away from you…and nothing will take you away from me. We belong.”

kissing you, you melt at his loving gaze, when you felt an aggressive tug on the bound on your wrist. “But…you fucking had me in pain when you left…and THAT…is something you’re going to have to pay for.”

you found it hard to believe, but his threat painted a smile on your face, as did his. “But I’ll go easy on you this time…just this time…” his voice trails off as he leans in and elopes your lips into a firm kiss. Your body waves against his when you felt his hands roam and explore the treasured parts of your body.

“Heeseung…please…please.”

“I know baby…I know..”

Inserting himself, he pumps the tip in and out, warming up your entry as the shifting motion causes you to lubricate, allowing him to feel the increase in moisture. Once the slickness heightened, he slowly inserts the rest of his shaft. The pressure of swallowing his cock, experiencing the fullness in your gut, and the faint sting in the stretch nearly made you tear up. It wasn’t out of pain or fear, though that would have been the case any other time, but with this very moment— for the first time in weeks, you felt satisfied and whole again.

“mmm…more…please do more…” you begged.

“more pretty baby?”

you nod as he bellows out deep inside. “Kay….let’s give you more then.”

he slowly exits before jamming the entirety of his shaft back in, electrifying you from toe to finger tip.

“Ah!!”

“yeah baby, let’s give you more.”

you scream and gasp out, tightening around his girth as your walls throb and pulsate, dancing against the harden muscle of his cock. Your toes curl inwards as you desperately dig into your own palms, reminded that you were still restrained by the leather strap.

“yeah baby? Bet you want more, huh?”

your eyes roll back as he continues to thrust at a vigorous pace, causing you to go limp and dumb while he loosens the barren virtue of your chamber. You lose the ability to speak once he shifts his position and stabilizes his weight on both knees. Swooping his hands under your thighs, he unites them together and leans forward, your kneecaps come inches away from your breasts as he props n’s steadies himself by holding them in place. “Fuck you’re so tight like this.” Thrusting away, he delightfully takes in the full view of his cock feeding your entry, the lipped folds wrapped around his circumference as he pumps the juices in and out. “Let me fucking feed you.” He grits out as he feels your hips dip down, succumbing to the intense pleasure. The nerves in your legs, arms, and phalanges grow heated and tingling; your inner thighs shake as your chest heaves yet your breathing hyperventilates.

“Ready for more?” He smirks as he taps against the backside of your thigh. You remained incoherent as he never lost the momentum of his thrusts. “Here comes more.”

Shoving deep inside, his tip twitches as he growls aloud. Tilting his head back, he exposes a full view of his Adams Apple as he hovers directly above you, nearly choking out a deep gasp as his balls pump and twitch, fueling his shaft to continue injecting the fruit of his love inside of you.

“Oh baby…there’s more where that came from.” His voice grows sinister as his chuckling transitions to a full born laugh. A malicious and devious laugh.

his gaze fully transitions—here…was Mr. Hyde.

Ethan….

#heeseung x reader #heeseung scenarios #heeseung smut #enha x reader #heeseung hard hours #heeseung hard thoughts #enhypen hard hours #enhypen smut #enha heeseung #heeseung fanfic #yandere heeseung imagines #yandere heeseung #enha smut #enha drabbles #enha drabble

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