#especially since it’s written so thoroughly for an audience of me!

[theajaheira]

been saying for a while that i’m writing this for me and i think that’s true, but i also think that because i’m writing this for me, the thought of sharing it is sorta insurmountably scary. marigold is so dear to my heart. letting her out into the world?? Augh.

[sweetsmellosuccess]

Deadpool & Wolverine

Dir. Shawn Levy

Early on in Shawn Levy's tumultuous MCU action flick, Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds, as always) starts casually referring to himself as the "Marvel Jesus." Sardonic blasphemes aside, the joke works because, in a sense, it's so achingly true. The MCU has been in a tight, downward death spiral ever since the scintillating crescendo of the early phase films, Avengers: Endgame, flailing around, attempting to reset the audience meter with the next batch of characters, lesser known, and given much less coherent storylines. In true Disney fashion, the MCU has been bleeding itself dry, with a neverending cavalcade of "content," via movies and TV shows, with ever more dwindling results. 

The dismal apex of the second wave of MCU faire came last year, Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania, which was as thoroughly soulless and badly constructed as an outhouse made out of Fritos. Shrill, incoherent, and filled with half-assed CGI effects that felt nearly insulting, the movie got trounced by audiences and critics alike (finally, some agreement!), and left the MCU to hole up and nurse its wounds, especially after the utter failure of last December's The Marvels (a superior film to Quantumania, but with even worse box office results). 

It's no secret the MCU has been in decline, spreading itself far too thin, and producing inferior work in the process. This year, Marvel has sagely decided to back off the endless churn of new releases, instead focusing their efforts on one release in calendar year 2024, which also just so happens to be a) The introduction of Deadpool (formerly a Fox property) into the MCU proper; and b) The first-ever "R" rated film in the MCU pantheon. 

Thus, the "Marvel Jesus," has burst through the building, and is attempting to resurrect a once revered brand, now fallen on callow times. So, no pressure, Mr. Levy, your film just has to meet the sky-high expectations of Deadpool Nation, while also rejuvenating an entire massive entertainment empire on its lonesome. Just how effectively it manages to achieve these lofty goals remains to be seen, but I can report that the film certainly gives it its best shot. 

With a script co-written by Levy, Reynolds, and a host of others, the film takes solid aim at the myriad of mistakes and miscues that has befallen the MCU over the years, incorporating 'Pool's murderously savage derisory jeers to poke righteous (and deserved) fun at the mothership, while retaining the series' gleefully indecorous, hyper-violent tone. 

As for the story, bear with me a minute. Yes, there is, indeed a multi-verse element, which I think by now we can all agree  —  with the notable exception for the Sony Spiderverse films, which remain delightful  — has just become rote and spent: A Get Out of Jail free card for overmatched screenwriters, and a means of re-incorporating extant properties under one mouse-eared umbrella.

That said, we meet Mr. Pool as he’s busy excavating Wolverine’s grave from Logan, James Mangold’s darkly somber (and significantly superior) film from 2017, meant to have been Hugh Jackman’s last time donning the Adamantium claws. As he does so, he’s pushed into laying waste to a bevy of Time Variance Authority enforcers. 

Out of context, we have no real idea why he’s doing what he’s doing, and so, cue the backstory: Because (spoiler alert) Logan has died on this earth, the entire planet’s timestream has become disrupted, and has gotten the ill attention of TVA operative Mr. Paradox (Matthew MacFadyen), itching to try out his unsanctioned doomsday device that would do away with that entire universe to clean up the timeline mess.  Faced with the real possibility of losing everyone he cares about, including former GF Vanessa (Morena Baccarin), former X-Force buddy Peter (Rob Delaney), and Dopinder (Karan Soni), Deadpool takes it upon himself to steal a multiverse transverser and hunt down a Wolverine from a different universe in order to use him to repopulate the missing Wolverine from his planet, thus sparing the universe Mr. Paradox’s planned extinction. 

Things don’t exactly go as planned. Eventually, DP does find a Wolverine, of sorts, but, as he himself puts it, he gets the “worst” one, a Wolverine who managed to let down his entire X-Men team, allowing them to all get slaughtered. Going from bad to worse, the pair of misfit brutes eventually find themselves deposed on a dead, post-apocalyptic desert world, like something out of the Mad Max-verse, running afoul of the local ruler of said wasteland, Cassandra Nova (Emma Corrin), a wildly powerful psionic type (and sister to Charles Xavier, founder of the original X-Men). 

Ergo, DP and Wolverine have to somehow make their way off this hostile plane of existence, with the help of a few former Marvel castoffs, get back to DP’s universe in time to stop Mr. Paradox from his diabolical plans, all while avoiding the army of alternate universe Deadpools, gathered together as a tribe of red-clad mercenaries (the cutest of which, without a doubt, Dogpool). 

There are certainly more hits than misses in this go-round, with some of the deprecating take downs ("Pegging isn’t new to me, friendo, but it is to Disney!") coming so rapid fire and from the hip, you have almost no choice but to fall for at least a few of them. True to form, DP is particularly merciless to the so-called hand that feeds him, putting Marvel in the crosshairs for some inspired burns (“Welcome to the MCU,” DP tells Wolverine, “but you’re hitting it at a bit of a low point.’) The film is filled to the brim with an enormous number of similar MCU full-body takedowns, profane quips, and wanton acts of violence, which helps distract from the fact that the story, such as it is, doesn’t really make a ton of sense, and seems to lose what steam it does have by the third act. Previous DP flicks have done the work of reaching a satisfying conclusion amidst all the dick jokes and beheadings, but here, Levy, Reynolds, and the rest of the writing team seem to have exhausted themselves in the first two acts, leaving the film’s climax severely underpowered. 

Still, apart from everything else, the film represents a desperately needed palate cleanser for the MCU from the last few years, a chance to show the world the company can acknowledge their missteps, and laugh at their mistakes. It's the first step of regaining their toehold on pop culture, and a welcome opportunity to reapproach their existing future projects with these painful lessons in mind. 

It's a hopeful idea, though I would be remiss if I didn't point out after this relatively quiet year, 2025 has three more MCU films slated to open. We can only hope they take this brief reprieve and do something extraordinary with it -- though, cynically speaking, I have my doubts. 

[ferry-man-sam]

Hi ferrymansam, my name is Mal, I have been a VERY HUGE fan of your work.. I've commented on What Lies at the Bottom on AO3 under the username aesopcarle and when I said nothing will ever top your fanfiction, I MEAN IT.. You replied to me and I haven't responded to your reply since even tho i really wanted to especially considering the fact I did not keep my promise to compliment your work for a day more T_T but i want you to know that i enjoy it so much!!

I go to an art school and in July we need to create some kind of project to put in our portfolio. I dealt with a lot of uncertainty, and lately I've not had sufficient inspiration to create something I'm really passionate about. But I am very, very passionate about What Lies at the Bottom..

I've written about you a couple of times, be it in my diary, or wherever. I've CRIED about you at least two times. I've met other people who have read your story on Asia server eng 1. I'm going to go to the love lock bridge and put me and chapter nine's names on a padlock.

I'm a tremendously big fan, and if I could please have your permission to make a fangame or fan animation out of your work I would be so grateful!! Most of the credits will of course go to you, and if I get any profit out of it, I'll do my best to transfer what I can, but I'm afraid of the difference in out countries (I'm Indonesian)

Thank you so much for your time and consideration and I look forward to making this come true 🙏

I’m almost at a loss for words for how insanely happy this message made me. I never thought I’d create something that someone enjoyed so intensely and thoroughly, which has always been a dream of mine that I didn’t think I had a chance of coming true until I reached a wider audience.

The fact that I’ve reached this with my silly little fanfiction has honestly astonished me, and I cannot impress upon you enough that this story wouldn’t have been complete without your enthusiasm and support. You have my full permission to create any kind of fan work you’d like, and please send it to me if you do! It might literally make me cry /pos

I feel like no words will truly ever be enough to thank you. This is one of the sweetest things someone has said about something I’ve created, and I’ll probably come back to this message if I ever have writer’s block it makes me so happy. I have trouble completing things, and this fic was a rare instance that I felt compelled to do so, and I’m so very glad I did. I wish nothing but love for you, and I am so glad to have created something you loved so much!!

In tears, In the most positive way, thank you.

[kitchfit]

Year in Review: Books Pt 1

Tumblr deleted the entire first draft of this, which is cool and awesome. It was too long anyways. These aren't meant to be full on analytic reviews, just blurbs about my experience with the books and what I thought about them. I might move into more in depth stuff later on next year.

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

He was pride. She was prejudice. Can I make it anymore obvious?

I started this on CD audiobook for the first half before driving my car off of a cliff. I was fine, but Elizabeth Bennet was a casualty of the accident, so I found the rest of the book on Libby with a different reader who had Very different vibes. It kind of fit how I felt about the book. Jane Austen is very good at regaling the audience from Elizabeth's point of view about how Darcy is the shittiest man alive, while turning at the halfway point to reveal he is actually the Only Good Victorian Man to exist.

I've seen this tale play out in both BBC and Keira Knightley formats, which are both fantastic in their own right, but I was significantly more invested in the characters this time around, especially the supporting cast. Elizabeth/Darcy romance was very cute, Jane and Bingley was adorable, Elizabeth's shitty cousin was hilarious. I like the glimpses of how she thinks about the rest of her family that you don't get in the movie. She hates how her dad views her mother as entertainment, she hates how her mother treats her children like products to be sold, she hates how her younger sisters make them all look silly. Damn she's really hateful, huh? Almost like she's preju-OHHHHHHHH.

Coraline by Neil Gaiman

The Funny Cat, The Spider Mom, and the Weird Door

This was a book I was excited to get into. The movie freaked me out when I was little, as did it everyone else, and I'll get to that since I watched it immediately after this. Maybe this Friday. But it isn't anywhere near as vividly horrific as the OG Evil Narnia. In a fun way. There's an implication in this book that the Other World and Other Mother are just two of many possible little horrors that live under your bed or behind the door that shouldn't be there that want to hurt and/or eat you. Kind of like real life. That's okay though, you can get through it alive. And Coraline proves it.

I like her a lot as a character. She isn't near as naive as she is in the movie, and catches on to the nature of what's happening on the end of night one, thus Other Mother kidnapping her parents to serve as motivation to come back. That gives the book freedom to explore the Other World and its nature thoroughly, and watch as it all crumbles around Coraline. I like that everything is just a bunch of bugs stretched into the visage of pleasant things by a giant spider. I also love that spider's contrary motivation. She needs to feed, but there is also a genuine desire to love Coraline, to be a mother, whatever her bizarre conception of what that means. Evil hungry desire is more pressing though. Get in my web, girl.

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C. S. Lewis

Digimon season one for 1950s British kids.

At some point I decided to reread all of the Narnia books. I got through like, 4 of them in a weird order due to how Libby works. I promise I do read physical stuff its just hard to find the time to finish them. The first book the Narnia line up was originally written for my boy Clive's real life goddaughter Lucy Barfield , who was temporarily displaced as a child during WWII, as a children's story. He even dedicated the book and maybe the whole series to her. However, by the time he finished this one she was already an adult and "too old for fairytales." Classic blunder. I'll still read your stuff, Clive.

The whole of Narnia is a wintery wonderland turned on its head, its magic and majesty suffocating under a thick sheet of ice. Jadis is a very cool antagonist. She's not super complex, but she's a very strong character and extremely threatening villain, as we see throughout the series. The Pevinsies all have a sweet relationship. Edmond's an asshole in a very realistic sense, but they all care deeply for each other in an even more realistic way. The end of the book starts a pattern Mr. Lewis likes to repeat where a quick epilogue is hamfisted into the end that blows over large swaths of time in a hurry to resolve everything. I have problem's with that in later books, but it works best here, skipping to the famous reveal that time moves much faster in Narnia, and two decades or so only equals a few minutes in our world. A little fucked up. Go through puberty again, Pevinsies, this time in BRITISH SCHOOL.

Prince Caspian by Clive

Ocarina of Time for 1950s British kids.

The second book in the series gives more context to the world Narnia lives in, while also screwing with our perception of what Narnia is in first place. A previously unmentioned country to the east invades and colonizes Narnia, oppressing its people and removing magic wherever they can. Lewis can write about the complexities of colonization as he actually comes from a country familiar with this kind of shit, believe it or not. Who are they conquered by? A country of Minotaurs? Dragons? Wayward dwarves still allegiant to Jadis? Humans??? What the hell?

Turns out Narnia is the weird magic fairytale place even within its own universe. Everywhere else is inhabited by eternally 18th century European style society. It's also 1000 years later, but a year for our dudes, so the Pevinsies get to experience how Narnia has changed physically in all that time. Like Cair Paravel, that place two whole pages mention in the first book. I like that the age reversal thing is acknowledged in this book, and how that might have affected our heroes and their development. At the end of the book, the colonizing force gets sent to Earth, and Prince Caspian is crowned as King Caspian. Aslan (or maybe one of animals, idr) says outright that Narnia is better ruled by humans than its own people. Which is. An odd note to end on a book whose main conflict is colonization. Huh.

A Horse and His Boy by C. Staples L.

He was a horse. He was his boy. Can I make it anymore-okay shut up.

This is an interesting one. Five books into the Narnia series and we are introduced to brand new protagonist, with zero connections to previous characters, in a place that is not Narnia. He's a young boy who runs away with a talking horse in their desperate attempt to both escape slavery. They meet a spunky, ass-kicking princess who's also running away, this time from an arranged marriage. Narnia in this story is more of an ideal their working towards, rather than a physical place the story spends time in. The plot is very refreshing in this aspect, especially if its the fifth, or in my case, third Narnia book you've read in a row. It could likely stand on its own outside the rest of the series, though you do get a surprise cameo from the adult Pevinsies pre-wardrobe-return, which is fun.

I do have a couple issues with it though. I'd argue against the idea that all of Narnia is a direct analogue to Christianity. Aslan is definitely furry Jesus, and C. S.'s theological beliefs are an obvious intentional aspect of the storytelling, but most of the books have themes and lessons outside of that and pose a genuinely fun fantasy world to engage with. The religious metaphors in this book specifically are pretty heavy-handed though, and not very delicately woven in. The setting of the story also pulls allusions to several real-life Middle Eastern cultures, and if you think a white British dude in the 50s wrote about that respectfully? Sorry no. There's also a lot of mention of Boy (I straight up forgot that kids name) being Special and Different for having pale skin and blue eyes. :/. At the end is another rapid-fire epilogue that blazes through Boy's life as the new prince of wherever that I think the story could have gone without. Just let it end with dignified mystery, Clive.

The Magician's Nephew by Siwel S. C.

Honestly Clive the mulitverse trope has been done to death, bro

Last Narnia book on the list as of now. Luckily, its also the best one. This is a prequel to the whole of the Narnia continuity, which details the creation of Narnia and the origins of Jadis, but the actual plot revolves around two new Brit kids Digory and Polly. Digory is described as grubby at least sixteen times throughout the story. His mom is sick and his magic uncle sucks ass and he's scared and he has no friends. Polly decides to be that friend which ultimately burns her as he's also a bit of a selfish brat. Learning to get past that brattiness and mature enables Polly to forgive him and ultimately helps him save his mother.

The plot takes place in the Wood Between Worlds, which has still stuck in my head and spurned on my imagination years later. You move outside of Earth to find the grandness of the Milky Way, you escape the Milky Way to discover the imperceivable majesty of the universe, and you find the indeterminate edge of that universe and land yourself in an idyllic forest with trees so high you cannot see the sky, the forest's floor dotted with puddles leading to other worlds. Jadis' origin is also pretty fascinating. A queen so obsessed with ultimate power she destroyed her own empire rather than let her sister take it. Aslan roars the world into existence. The whole vibes on this book are pretty stellar, ngl.

The Bell Jar by Silvia Plath

You wouldn't be cool if it weren't for the lessons that you learnt in the BELL JAR, nah, nana nah nah.

And now for a weird fucking heel turn. And also the last book I'm doing for now. I'm going to be honest, my original interest in this book came from the song "I Cut Myself" by Talkshow Boy, who mentions the book in the above lyric. Also, my college roommate said she liked it a lot. I went in with zero expectations and was surprised at how hard it hit home. I've never been personally institutionalized, but I know people who have, and I can relate to the downward depression spiral Esther goes through in this book.

Its interesting to see the thought patterns and paradigms that Esther voices in her inner monologues that partially lead to her mental break. Little observations that reveal her hyper-awareness and implicit nihilism. They're good observations too. The vivid description of the horrific image of a woman giving birth compared to a dulled animal being hooked into a machine. You can see her perspective on a lot of subjects, probably even agree with much of it. It makes sense, as this is the author famous for vivid and introspective poetry more than anything. Looking at the historical context for this book made me sad, especially given how hopeful the ending was, at least how I read it.

Going to shift into movies at the end of the week. I'll need to start doing these at least bi-weekly if I want to finish before the end of the year. Also more bisexually.

[typekiku]

Thoughts on Mahoyo Movie

hello hello everyone!

how are all my fellow type moon fans and other "people" doing?

good? good!

anyways so i saw some shit takes going around on the net and decided i would write out my opinions on them here. screaming into the void can be real therapeutic especially for a fellow mahoyo fan like myself.

without further ado here i go

AOKO RINFACE?!?!

(Ignore the somewhat low-quality picture here.)

This is probably the funniest take since it actually is the very opposite: Rin is based off Aoko!

"bUt hOw kIkU? "You poor lost soul may be thinking, and this is actually correct. FSN did, in fact, come out almost a decade before Witch on the Holy Night did. Congratulations, you are right! Pat yourself on the back, champ.

With that being said, Rin is still based off Aoko! Don't believe me? Let's see what Nasu himself has to say on this matter.

NASU: Yes, the heroine with glasses from old "Fate" named Ayaka Sajyou had a rival character who was a total rich-kid, spoiled heiress type. She would look down on you and laugh at you, like Luvia. Her servant was the Lancer. You could say she was the basis for Rin's character. When Shirou snagged the main character position for "stay night", it was this character who transformed into Rin to fill the rival role. We wanted Shirou's rival to be more likeable than the snobby heiress, though, so we took inspiration from Aoko Aozaki, a character Takeuchi and I both like. Azaka, Akiha, and Rin are all Aoko-type characters, but I'd say Rin is the most like Aoko. I really didn't feel like making "Witch on the Holy Night" when we were working on "stay night", so I made the executive decision to create a feminine Aoko. Though I suppose she turned out to be more of a clumsy Aoko than a feminine Aoko... Takeuchi seemed to intuitively understand what I was going for, and his "Fate version Aoko" meshed well with my vision for Rin.

from : Fate/ Character Material II

(https://tri-hermes.org/Materials/cmii-rin.html)

So yes, indeed, Rin was based on Aoko. If you are still confused on how this is possible, you must understand that Witch on the Holy Night is one of Nasu's very first works, written all the way back in 1996, being an almost 500-page novel at the time.

It was obviously shelved for a long while, but the characters within it have remained influential, showing up throughout various different works of Nasu's, but especially Aoko and Touko, who would go on to be important throughout the Nasuverse.

(Also, Soichiro Kuzuki is basically a colder soujuuro and probably even from the same organization.)

Hell, we even have some original artwork from how Aoko looked back then. Compared to how Rin looks now, they don't really look that similar, to be honest.

Now this Aoko, drawn by Takeuchi in TYPE MOON character material all the way back in 2006, after fate/stay night, could be argued to look a lot like Rin, but even that would be a stretch of the imagination (and eyes).

Regardless, what is my point here? Its silly to call Aoko a rin face when:

a) She doesn't even really look like Rin (I'm not even going to bring up Koyama's version of Aoko since that's meaningless).

b) She precedes Rin in both having been created before her and designed before her.

That doesn't mean the movie version of Aoko doesn't look like Rin, because not only does she kind of look like her, but it's probably intentionally meant to provoke these kinds of takes since, in the eyes of most of the audience for Witch on the Holy Night, Aoko might as well be a completely new character.

Honestly? who cares? This "Aoko looks like Rin" business pales in comparison to a bigger worry of mine... How will Ufotable properly adapt Mahoyo?

Mahoyo is a visual novel that has more quiet scenes than action, and will they really manage to adapt that well or lean more into flashy, hyped action scenes?

This worry of mine stems from Ufotables Heaven Feel films, which while I still thoroughly enjoyed, I felt disappointed at all the cut scenes that served to establish the relationship between Illya and Shirou, and likewise the cut scenes between Shirou and Kirei, which are both just as important as Sakura to the main story.

Instead of focusing on the main climax of Heaven's Feel and the climax of the whole FSN, which is Shirou's final battle with Kirei, they extended the Salter vs. Rider fight and made it out to be the centerpiece of the route, which it is in fact not.

Judging from the trailer it will likely adapt up to at least chapter 6 which leaves the rest for maybe another film? possibly even a trilogy which i mean i just don't see happening to be frank but i could be surprised!

Most importantly....

WHERE IS MY FATE ROUTE ANIME DAMN IT??? I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONG... TEN YEARS AT LEAST!

ahem

So yes, that is all I have to say on this matter. I'm both excited to finally get to see Mahoyo in film and for others to get into this series that I so love! It will be great to see others get into it, even if it is possibly a shitty adaptation.

also seeing others call this a fate spinoff physically hurts

Thanks for reading my rant of the day!

cyaaa

[strawberry-soot]

:3c Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love❤

Mya you lovely creature, don’t put me in the spotlight like that!! XD

After some careful consideration, I decided to put them in no particular order, so here we go:

The Other Side of Sunset [TWST I Malleus/Leona I teen and up audiences] is a 15K rant about art, family, and shepherd’s pie. Imposing time and spatial constraints on this story was not only a fun challenge to write but also makes for an interesting narrative while Leona and Malleus pretend to ignore they’re trying to prolong the sun’s funeral march for as long as possible for reasons they’re slowly figuring out with each passing minute.

here we are now [TWST I Malleus/Leona I mature audiences] is about as much slowburn teenage angst as you can expect from MalLeo. I especially enjoyed expanding the cast from a Leona/Malleus-centric story to everyone meddles in one way or another and the total chaos that ensures in later chapters. Though, of course, delving into the MalLeo dynamic and thoroughly chewing myself through what makes them work while they steadily learn that hunger isn’t always a violent thing was an overall memorable experience for me.

By The Book [TWST I Malleus/Leona I general audiences] reminds me that the Diasomnia found family dynamic never gets old, especially when I get to explore Malleus’ relationship with each of his dormmates while he tries to figure out what love is, how a broken heart is just as good as a cracked rib, and why the fairytale he painted for himself was flawed from the start.

I contemplated putting a different Rook/Vil fic as one of my faves but time away from home [TWST I Rook/Vil I teen and up audiences] was such a huge time commitment that more or less started my journey as a fanfic author so it’d be rude not to pay it the respect it deserves. It’s admittedly a bit scary when you first see the length, but I think the way I told their story in a more fragmented style makes for a pleasant read overall that’s best enjoyed at your own pace. Love is trying to see the beauty in things, and Vil and Rook learn in an agonizingly slow way that they have love in abundance.

Despite The Blame Game [TWST I Azul&Jack I general audiences] being my least popular fic, I really had fun pushing myself in terms of imagery and weaving as much ocean-imagery into it as possible. It’s not focused on any ship, but Azul and Jack’s dynamic and the underlying power imbalance that comes with it was fun to explore nonetheless. Writing this fic also made me come round to Jack since I initially thought he's too self-righteous and hypocritical for my liking, but actually portraying him made me understand him that little bit more. Jack’s just a puppy. How could I dislike him?

[addictedtostorytelling]

Sort of a weird question but I was wondering if you happened to know if Holly Gribbs was originally suppose to be Grissom’s love interest? He just seemed pretty flirty with her on the pilot, and since Sara wasn’t thought up of until the second episode, I didn’t know if that’s what they were going for. A Grissom that hugs new coworkers is so weird!

hi, anon!

i've never seen anything to say that she either was or wasn't, so i honestly can't give you an "official" answer.

the only stuff i've ever read about the character makes it sound like the decision to kill her off came fairly early in the process, as the actress had tested poorly with test audiences.

that said, my personal sense is that she wasn't necessarily written to be grissom's love interest, for a couple of reasons.

for one thing, her depiction skewed toward making her seem both very young and very green, much more so than with sara; grissom hugging her and looking out for her, while not presented as being entirely paternalistic, does seem much more like a boss looking out for a rookie than a "white knight" swooping in to save "the princess," at least to me. though the actress (chandra west) was actually a year older than sara is (and only two years younger than jorja fox in real life), holly herself comes across as being very much still a "kid," to the point that i think there would have been a creep factor had they tried to pair her with the much more experienced and distinguished grissom.

for yet another thing, i don’t think the way that grissom is written/depicted as interacting with her is necessarily meant to read as romantic. while it is a bit flirtatious, the grissom of the pilot is a flirt all around (which is part of his s1 oocness)—but, again, to me, the hug doesn’t read as being at all emotional or sensual; it’s just meant to be human and endearing, an acceptable quirk for a grissom who is, at this point in his history, being presented as much more open and even “normal” than the grissom of later seasons will be.

furthermore, i also think that during the pilot era, the writers weren't really in a place where they were conceptualizing of grissom as someone who might have a long-term love interest at all, never mind the holly gribbs component specifically.

like.

the grissom of the pilot is much more like some of billy's former movie characters than he is like the grissom we eventually come to know and love, not only in the sense that he is a loose cannon much more so than the restrained and introverted man he will eventually morph into but also in the sense that he is a bit of a “cad about town” (as opposed to the later grissom, who is so thoroughly monogamous and uninterested in romance outside of with sara). while his conversation with charlotte meridian tells us he's not necessarily successful in his dating efforts, there is still something of a sense that he “gets around.”

i think he was very much written, in the beginning, as that classic cop show hero: the man men want to be like and women want to be with.

so i'm guessing that had that iteration of the character tested well and been something billy was more interested in pursuing, the writers would have kept him “single and ready to mingle” for a long while; they wouldn't have tried to tie him down to one girlfriend.

and, i mean, in s1, they really don't do so, even as is: he has romantic interactions or at least flirtations with charlotte meridian, teri miller, sara sidle, and even a few female suspects and persons of interest throughout the course of the season. while sara is his official love interest (and was conceived of as such since before jorja fox even auditioned for the role), she is so in a very "long game" sense, with the writers in no rush to get her and grissom together and very willing to pair him with other female characters in the interim.

that so, i just can't imagine that they went into writing the pilot with the idea of holly being “the one” for grissom (and especially not because, frankly, the actress was not strong enough to play off of a powerhouse like billy).

anyone they were going to cast as grissom's love interest was going to need to be a much more charismatic performer in her own right.

i think they only eventually changed tacks between the writing of the pilot and episode two because of feedback they got from the test audience and because of billy's vision for the character.

as was talked about at paley fest 2015, there was a considerable time gap of probably about five months between the writing and filming of the pilot in the spring of 2000 and the writing and filming of episode 01x02 "cool change" in the fall of 2000, during which time jorja fox was hired.

i think some of grissom’s more “too cool for school” tendencies got nerfed between episodes 01x01 and 01x02 and that the writers wanted a way to ground him and round him out, and that’s where the idea to give him a long-term love interest came from.

but before that revision to the character was made, i don’t think anyone was thinking down the lines of “who is going to be the love of grissom’s life?” yet.

that’s just my sense, though—and, like i said, i can’t either confirm or deny if holly gribbs was originally intended to be grissom’s love interest or not.

it’s just my personal sense that she wasn’t.

sorry i can’t give you a more certain answer!

thanks for the question! please feel welcome to send another any time.

[hismercytomyjustice]

I spent 95% of the day today writing. I’ve finally hit 35k, but the last 3k were a STRUGGLE. I think they turned out okay, but my god I had several moments of “fuck this.”

I think the issue was this was a way more research heavy chapter and I didn’t feel as confident about writing some of the side characters. They don’t have much screen time in the game, which made it all the more stressful.

I desperately want to finish this fic. I don’t want to have made it this far only to give up. I s2g the Cardcaptors fic that I wrote that was almost twice as long as this didn’t give me NEARLY this much trouble. Maybe because I was more familiar with the source material?

I did get a really sweet comment on it recently though that I still need to reply to. I’m always baffled and pleased when folks take the time to read my older stuff.

I want to say I’m around 75-80% done with this fic now, though I still have no idea how the hell I’m going to end it.

…especially since I still haven’t finished the game…

I’m like 250+ hours in, but I still need to kill Orin and Gortash, save Lae’zel, get the Wyrm, fight Raphael, find Minsc… I’m sure I’m forgetting something. I know I could just power through to the end but I’ve been enjoying thoroughly exploring everything. I’ve also kind of worn myself out in the process though. There is just SO MUCH in Act III, it’s overwhelming.

Work has been hella busy again the past week or two too, which doesn’t help. I’m kind of dreading tomorrow because I have so much I need to do. I am getting desperate for a break and our next holiday isn’t until Memorial Day at the end of May. I’m probably going to have to take some PTO or at least a mental health day at the rate I’m going. The burnout is hitting HARD.

I love my job as much as one can love a job, but my god it is exhausting and demanding. Thankfully it isn’t like this all the time, but the periods where it is SUCK. Things will quiet down in another month or so, at least for a good chunk of the summer. I hope.

I think when I’m done writing this fic (please god in the next few weeks or so), I’m going to post it a chapter at a time like I did with my Cardcaptors one. Maybe a week apart to give myself time to edit each chapter. Pretty sure that’s the only way I’ll be able to trick myself into editing.

It’s just been so nice to have something I’m excited to write about again. This is the longest thing I’ve written in literal years. I feel like I’ve grown a lot, or at least I hope I have.

I’m also hoping that by writing more fanfic, I’ll be able to strengthen my writing for original stuff too. Right now I’m just trying to be happy with whatever I put out, so long as I’m writing something. Even if I don’t finish it.

I spent so many years struggling to get a word on the page because I spent so much time learning about writing through cons, books, podcasts, etc that I was hypercritical of everything I did. I stopped enjoying the process and I felt like a failure. I knew enough now that I knew what I did wrong or where I had skill gaps, but I had no idea how to fix any of it, so I just stopped creating. I forgot why I loved writing so much in the first place.

A book that’s really helped me view writing in a much healthier way is The Actor’s Life: A Survival Guide by Jenna Fischer. Yes, it’s geared toward acting, but the advice she gives is just as relevant to other creative fields.

She talks a lot about giving yourself permission to do the thing, about not having to be at the same level as your idols to pursue your dream, and about how important it is just to create.

It’s so important to enjoy the process because, otherwise, what’s the point? So long as I’m having fun, it’s worth doing. Even if I never reach a wide audience with original stuff I do in the future, I have to remember I’m doing this first and foremost for myself. I’ve found I enjoy that type of content more too, where the creator takes risks and unashamedly throws their passion into their project.

Yes, this is just a fanfic I’m working on, but I’m honing my skills through it. It’s a lot less terrifying to play in someone else’s sandbox and it’s so much easier for me to get out of my own way while I do it.

But at the same time DAMN I AM SO READY TO BE DONE haha.

Fingers crossed I will be soon!!!

[plow-and-propose]

a big aspect of the Chrestomaci series is adults failing to protect (and even actively endangering) children

this isn't weird. it's a big part of children's adventure as a whole. if the main characters were properly looked after all the time, we wouldn't have a story. I am a big proponent of terrible things happening to children in children's fiction, and Diana Wynne Jones did a very good job of conveying how frustrating and frightening it is to be a child without any real agency. I thoroughly enjoy her writing and she's a big inspiration for me.

but I do feel that at times, in Charmed Life and Christopher Chant especially, it sorta feels like narrative is actively placing blame on the children?

Cat Chant essentially gets adopted without his consent and brought to a household he doesn't know, in a place he doesn't know, by people he doesn't know, all while his sister continues to use and manipulate him. he's even physically punished for not stopping his sister when like. she could have killed him. technically she already had. more than once.

Nobody is honest with Cat until the last quarter of the story, and yet I felt the ending chapter just sort of said "silly boy! none of this would have happened if you'd just put your faith in these strangers!"

I didn't feel like there was any acknowledgment that maybe Chrestomaci could have tried harder to connect with him, which becomes particularly jarring now that I'm reading Charmed Life.

Christopher, objectively, does bad things and treats other people terribly, and he deserves to face consequences for it. but he's also a child who's been ripped away from his happy life on the whims of adults who do not know him, multiple times, and at no point so much as acknowledge that he's suffering. of course he's a massive asshole!

I felt similarly about some of Witch Week. most of the characters in that book are horrible people. most of them are also abused, frightened children. yet there's a scene where Chrestomaci essentially tells the pov character "you've been bad. do better" and I'm like bruh he witnessed a woman being hunted for sport when he was eight. the world he grew up in actively makes people worse like c'mon

maybe it's just because our understanding of parenting and childhood and psychology has changed since these books were written. maybe it's just because I'm misinterpreting the texts. but either way, I'm finding these stories frustrating at times in a way I'm not sure I'm supposed to.

I'm in the last quarter of Christopher Chant so I'll see how I feel at the end.

EDIT: ok i think Christopher Chant handled it much better! I'm not a massive fan of how everything wrapped up in the end, I feel like several significant issues were sorta waved away... but I'm also not the intended audience by any means. if I was a kid maybe i wouldn't have noticed ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

in any case i really enjoyed this book!

[miraculouscontent]

Hi, Adrien is handed things on a silver platter whereas Marinette has to work for them.

First thing’s first is just the concept of the love square. Chat Noir gets to interact with Ladybug no matter what because they’re heroes. Ladybug - who carries the weight and responsibility of heroism without getting benefited from it - is required to go to every battle due to her purification ability, and Chat Noir of course is going to show up because he loves both flirting with Ladybug and the freedom of being a superhero.

In addition, Adrien got his miraculous by helping Master Fu up (something that would be expected out of any semi-decent person; by the way, yes, I know the “””significance””” of the action, and it’s silly), whereas Marinette saved him from being hit by a car.

Adrien was allowed back in school with still no explanation from Gabriel (especially since he’s Hawk Moth) as to why he thought it was a good idea to send his son to a school where the very first akumatization had happened. It was Adrien’s goal for the episode alongside making friends, and Nino offered him friendship out of pity when Adrien sulked about how Chloe was the closest thing to a friend he had.

Chat crushes on Ladybug because she stood up to Hawk Moth in a speech dripping with confidence, caught what seemed like hundreds of akuma, and came up with a plan quick enough to save Mylene and Ivan from falling to their deaths from the top of the Eiffel Tower. Marinette (who Chat fell in love with one side of first, mind you, so already this is to his benefit), meanwhile, crushes on Adrien because the narrative gave her a falsehood about him never having any friends (i.e: no Chloe) and he gave her an umbrella while he was ten meters away from his actual ride (like with Fu, again, any decent person--).

Chat’s crush on Ladybug makes things harder for her because it causes him to throw tantrums mid-battle, get distracted and distract her because he’s busy flirting, all of which make her feel guilty for not returning his feelings. Marinette’s crush on Adrien makes things hard for her again because it causes her to embarrass herself while virtually everyone who knows teases/mocks her for it, their opinions of her even being dragged down due to the crush (see Alya with the Lila situation).

Chat is shipped with Ladybug by Parisians everywhere and Alya delighted in taking a picture of them kissing (that got posted on the Ladyblog without Ladybug’s consent). Likewise, the other LadyNoir kiss (that Ladybug had to do to free Chat from Dark Cupid’s control) was shown on live TV for all watching to see. Marinette’s kisses with Adrien, however, were either wiped from the timeline (in which Adrien got to keep a secret from her so he could date “””Ladybug”””) or used to humiliate her because Adrien was attempting a prank.

Ladybug realizes that Chat is in serious about her, not because he told her himself, but because he relayed it to Marinette who happened to be Ladybug. Marinette, on the other hand, has spent 3+ seasons attempting to confess her feelings to Adrien or make advances on him, all of which ended in some form of failure and some of which through no fault of her own.

Chloe shoved her in “Bubbler” (Adrien didn’t even check on her) and then Nathalie crushed the note she’d written on a scarf that Marinette put tons of time and effort into, leading to Adrien thinking it was from his dad.

“Copycat” was accidental and came on too strong, requiring its deletion.

She got distracted by Alya and forgot to write her name in “Dark Cupid,” her letter only further solidifying Chat’s crush on Ladybug.

She kept getting interrupted in “Gamer” after Alya chided her for using the event to get with Adrien (despite Alya doing the same thing for Marinette during the film in “Horrificator” while Mylene was MIA).

She wasn’t able to tell Adrien about Lila’s thievery in “Volpina” because the grimoire had to remain a secret.

The hat in “A Christmas Special” got given away within minutes and then not even brought back on-screen by Miraculous Ladybug (Adrien never even thanked Marinette personally for it).

Kagami came out of nowhere to take the fencing spot in “Riposte.”

Deciding not to make schemes only led to her embarrassment in “Gigantitan.”

She got made fun of and the notes all conveniently looked the same in “Backwarder,” leading to her mixing them up.

The macaron for Adrien (that Marinette would prepare every week) never got eaten by him and ended up causing the akuma after Chloe had emotionally manipulated Marinette into scheming with her.

Practicing on a statue (as per Tikki’s advice) in “The Puppeteer 2″ humiliated her when Adrien revealed himself as the statue.

She was embarrassed during the party in “Party Crasher” because she was pressured into dancing without her consent.

The timeline had to be reset in “Chat Blanc” and she had to lie to her friends that she hadn’t given Adrien the gift even though she’d actually succeeded, while the hat she made just for Adrien got written off as a gift from a random fan (which is an even worse fate than the scarf).

The confession in “Felix” was deleted by Felix himself before Adrien could see it.

And Adrien, meanwhile? Ohhhh boy, lemme tell you about Adrien.

He gets put into suggestive/close positions with Ladybug on many, many occasions, all for “free.”

He got a kiss from Ladybug in “Dark Cupid” that, remember, got photographed and put on live TV.

He got to goad the audience without consequence about he and Ladybug potentially being in a relationship eventually - gaining the knowledge that all of Paris was invested in LadyNoir to thoroughly stroke his ego - and then Ladybug had to act like they were a couple in “Prime Queen” to the point of holding Chat’s hand and saying that they were in love.

Likewise, “Glaciator” featured Ladybug having to act like a couple with him again, now to the point of kissing his cheek, and then Chat got a blush from her after he’d spent a good chunk of the akuma battle pouting that Ladybug didn’t come to the date he set up (that she hadn’t even known was a date because he purposefully withheld that information) despite her telling him that she’d have to see about it because she had plans.

He was reassured in “Anansi” on being “irreplaceable” after he made an unnecessary comment about being replaced by a turtle (Carapace).

He got to carry Ladybug around bridal style and also save her in “Sandboy” and “Reverser” respectively because she was rendered essentially useless without him, then got to save her again in “Frozer” after giving her the cold shoulder for rejecting his feelings.

He’s the one who got told by Marinette’s own parent not to apologize for how he feels in “Weredad” (note that Marinette herself never got this talk from Sabine, nor Tom, which very much could’ve prevented “Crocoduel”).

He got a cheek kiss from Ladybug in “Desperada” after getting to undo the very-much-against-the-rules identity reveal he made to her via Second Chance.

He got to look good in “Gamer 2.0″ when Ladybug was seeking advice from him despite the fact that her and Chat’s situations hero-wise are absolutely, completely, 100% different and he didn’t even try to take that into account.

He got Ladybug resting her head on his shoulder because of what she saw in a deleted time in which he - unbeknownst to her - lied by omission.

A fake Ladybug tried to kiss him on two separate occasions, “The Puppeteer 2″ and “Ladybug,” much to his delight (something to note is that the fake Adrien who went after Ladybug in both “Chameleon” and “Felix” tried to force themselves on her).

He got the “jealousy” moment from Ladybug in “Heart Hunter” and then a hug from Aquabug in “Miracle Queen.”

He received no repercussions for taking Ladybug out on a date (that she wasn’t aware was going to be a date) in “Gang of Secrets,” at best having to apologize for her behavior to the people around them.

He got reassured that Ladybug “couldn’t do this without him” in “Guiltrip,” even to the point of being told that she “probably doesn’t tell him enough.”

He got told by Ladybug that she would never abandon him in “Hack-San” because he was guilting her sulking about how his not knowing her identity would mean that he’d never see her again if she left him somehow.

And before you think this only extends to the romantic aspects of love square, let me tell you now that it definitely doesn’t.

Marinette entered the bowler hat competition and had to defend her own work to the judge.

She ran for class representative and had to earn the trust and faith of her class in “Darkblade” when put up against Chloe’s bribery.

She did whatever she could to make sure Juleka got her picture taken in “Reflekta.”

She had to actually craft a pair of glasses suitable for Jagged Stone in “Pixelator” and then make a gorgeous album cover for him in “Guitar Villain.” (note that this partially led to “Troublemaker” where she was just happily wanting to advertise her parents’ business, and the writers multiplied her Adrien pictures for the sake humiliating her when it was caught on live TV)

She had to work to get ungrounded by improving her attendance in “Simon Says,” because she had been busy being a hero.

She worked to try and get Nathaniel and Marc to get together on a project, knowing it would be good for both of them.

She set up an entire celebration for her bully to try and make said bully feel good about herself in “Malediktator.”

She did Kitty Section’s designs and costumes in “Silencer” and then had to go protect them from being stolen, along with her friends’ music.

She had to wear multiple miraculouses in “Kwamibuster” in order to go against Kwamibuster and get back both the ladybug earrings and the cat ring.

“Gamer 2.0.” Just... “Gamer 2.0.″

She made a whole complex lockbox to protect the Miracle Box in “Gang of Secrets.”

She worked to reach out to Zoe in “Sole Crusher” even after Zoe trashed her in front of the school, going as far as to try and comfort Zoe’s akumatized form.

She had to stand up for the movie to be fixed in “Queen Banana” because no one else would.

She has to work each and every akuma battle as Ladybug, figuring out Lucky Charms that can range from simple to complicated, while simultaneously dealing with a partner who relies heavily on her plans and will occasionally make things harder by either throwing tantrums mid-battle or distracting her.

And meanwhile...

Chat Noir got to throw the blame onto Ladybug for Theo’s akumatization in “Copycat.”

Marinette covered for him in “The Collector” when he was the one who recklessly lost the grimoire by not being careful with it.

He got handed Fu’s identity in “Syren” after whining to Ladybug, throwing blame on her and trying to bribe Plagg so they’d tell him, threatening to quit while Paris was underwater, and all of this while Marinette herself only got to meet Fu because she had the grimoire on her.

He was given the moral high ground in “Malediktator” despite not having to actually care about Chloe enough to call/check on her.

He got to sit back in “Chameleon” and not concern himself with judgment or comment on the situation with Lila, even going into “Ladybug” where he continues to inform no one about Lila (including Marinette, who briefly believed that Lila came to her senses and was willing to make amends) after Lila got Marinette expelled, despite the complete lack of risk on his part considering who his father is and how harshly Lila would be dragged through the mud if she dared to trash his reputation.

He clumsily trips in “Captain Hardrock” in a fashion that reveals an instrument he happens to play, leading to him getting invited to join Kitty Section within seconds of being on the Liberty. (so when Adrien is clumsy, it’s to his benefit, and when Marinette is clumsy, it’s to her detriment)

He never got called out for distracting Ladybug and digging for details that could relate to her identity in “Kwamibuster” (which, again, forced Marinette to do all the work to fix things).

He got a party thrown for him in “Party Crasher” by Nino, and also guys that Adrien had never put forth effort into interacting with or befriending (Marinette had also been through more with all of them sans Nino).

He got to force Ladybug’s favorite traits of his out of her in “Truth” because she was under the influence of Truth’s powers.

He got off the hook for sacrificing himself in “Lies” by flirting about Ladybug’s “irresistible angry little pout,” and also never got repercussions for flirting with another girl while dating Kagami.

He never had to face consequences for smashing a chimney in “Sentibubbler,” even as he was dismissing the gesture because he knew Miraculous Ladybug would fix it.

He didn’t have to apologize for his behavior in “Hack-San,” whereas Ladybug "had to” for telling someone else her identity (the details of why - i.e: that she was having a mental breakdown and needed a release from it - being completely left out) and not telling him that she was leaving (when she literally hadn’t had time to tell him anything; do note as well that Adrien didn’t have to do the same in either “Backwarder” or “Startrain”).

He received no consequences and was in fact rewarded for allowing the akuma in “Wishmaker” to hit him, a choice that Viperion has to live with because it caused him to see both Ladybug and Chat’s identities (meaning now Luka - someone who, like the guys in “Party Crasher” - Adrien has done virtually nothing for - can support Adrien since he knows).

And I could go on, I really could, but my point is that Adrien is given all of the sympathy and sad points while Marinette basically never is. Just like how he was born swimming in money, fame, and adoring fans, the show hands out praises and all the things he’s ever wanted because he’s sad.

He doesn’t have to try. He can whine and complain and vent to Plagg about how “replaceable” he is because the show will mollycoddle him to the moon and back. They’ll put his crush on Ladybug’s shoulders to make her feel guilty while Marinette is over here having to bust her butt just for a chance at Adrien recognizing any semblance of her feelings, and he goes on being blissfully ignorant of them so he doesn’t have to suffer like Ladybug does.

In addition, Marinette has to either be “““making mistakes”““ or embarrassing herself in order to get screen time because the burden of lessons fails upon her, whereas Adrien can be name-dropped without even doing anything.

It’s not just the love square that’s unbalanced, it’s everything between these two. Ladybug is scolded and punished for the slightest act of selfishness while Adrien is encouraged and rewarded for being selfish and demanding things. Marinette has to work to be noticed (and sometimes won’t even get that much) while all Adrien has to do is put on his best sad face and the show will bend over backwards to either give him exactly what he wants or make him the sympathetic one through the narrative.

Even if Adrien had known about Marinette’s crush at the time that Ladybug knew about Chat’s, it wouldn’t matter, because the tipped scales in how they’re treated would still make it so Marinette is the one at fault for “dumping her feelings onto Adrien” while Ladybug is still forced to interact with Chat even if his advances make her uncomfortable.

[herorps]

shadow and bone and racism

shadow and bone just came out so i can now finally break my silence bc holy shit do they go ham on the racism and me being me, i just have to tell you all about it. possible spoilers and triggers for anti-asian racism and microaggressions.

to preface, i was very privileged to receive a screener for the entire first season last month and i was actually excited to watch it bc i have friends who love the books and the show piqued my interest since it was announced. and i also have to say that i never read the books and i probably never will ( tho i’ve been told i would like soc ) but i did like the show overall. 

i think sab is a good adaptation and that the fans will like this show. i thoroughly enjoyed it and as someone who had very little to almost no knowledge about the books, i didn’t have trouble keeping up with the fantastical world. 

however that doesn’t mean i can’t be critical of it. 

i think the show can actually benefit from people being critical about it because so far, it feels like they took a very tone deaf direction and ran a marathon with it. 

what i’m talking about, is alina starkov being half-shu. 

now, i said before that my interest was piqued for this show when it was announced and one of the major reasons is the casting of biracial actress, jessie mei li, in the role of alina starkov. i can’t tell you how happy i was to see that a half-chinese actress was cast as the lead in a series based on such a beloved ip, especially since the creators of the show consciously changed alina’s ethnicity to be half-shu before casting calls were even sent out. ( for those of you who are also non-book readers, shu is the race of people from the country, shu han, and is based off primarily mongolian and chinese cultures ) 

so i was endeared with the idea that this character, that is coded white, was deliberately changed to be coded asian ( and coded mixed race to boot ) because the producers wanted to include diversity into the show. i commend that, i love that, i support that. but i believe the way they handled it, shouldn’t have been the way they handled it. and it’s because alina’s race is constantly brought up. 

obviously of course race is going to be brought up at some point. alina in the show is surrounded by white people when we first see her, and her home country of ravka does have a hostile history with shu han----i get it. racism is going to play a part in alina’s story. but it doesn’t necessarily need to go so far as to constantly remind the audience that she is shu in almost every interaction she has with someone she meets. 

and that’s a big part of the issue, is that nearly everyone she meets will bring up the fact that she’s part-shu. and a lot of the time, it’s said with hostility. now i’m not exactly sure if i’m just being particularly sensitive because of certain recent events, but the anti-asian racism hits differently these days. idk. 

because that’s what it is, at the end of the day. it’s racism. alina is often the target of very hostile racism and it seems to mainly be directed at her character and her character only. 

and honestly, on a surface level it makes sense, i sort of understand what the producers are trying to do. ravka has a turbulent history with shu han and were involved in wars with them and they’re often seen as the enemy so obviously that would affect a shu-mixed person growing up in ravka, a very white country. but on a deeper level, it reminds me a lot of the anti-japanese sentiments during wwii. the production team even created a banner that i felt called back to those anti-japanese propaganda of that era. ( mind you it was shown multiple times, in main focus, and acknowledged by characters that were coded shu ) 

but on the other hand, they’ve done a considerable job to diversify at least the ethnic makeup of ravka. there are black and brown grisha at the school and there are people of different cultures ( noted by costuming, etc. ) in ketterdam and there’s even a shu-appearing trainer that teaches the grisha to fight. so my question is, why is this very hostile treatment primarily geared toward shu people and geared toward alina specifically? it just doesn’t make sense to me. 

and when i say it’s specifically geared toward alina, i mean that it’s very apparent that they’re targeting her specifically, because mal  ( played by a possibly mixed-race archie renaux ) is also coded to be of mixed shu blood. while it is not explicitly stated that mal is shu, it is heavily implied that he is mixed, but he is never subject to the treatment that alina is, and the only times he is subject to racism is when alina is also present. in scenes where we see alina and mal as kids, they are often both referred to as “mutts” or “half-breeds”. but when they are older, only alina is continuously called those things. 

this isn’t even touching the microaggressions she faces after she’s at grisha school and this one line that made my gut wrench so viscerally i had to pause the episode and replay the part so i could confirm what i heard. [ episode 3 spoiler warning ] i’m trying to avoid posting screenshots or from spoiling parts of the show but there’s a scene where alina is being cleaned up and made presentable by servants and one of them says “I’d start by making her eyes less Shu.” [ end episode 3 spoiler ] i don’t think i have to explain to anyone how offensive that is. and i understand that the intention was to show how racist this servant is, that the entire point of of this weird racism plot is to show how the people of ravka can be racist and ignorant, but to have that line be written by a white writer, approved by a white showrunner and said by a white character to the face of an asian actor/character feels very tactless. it feels like another antagonist alina has to go against is racism itself. 

what also turns me off about this scene is that jessie mei li revealed that this scene is what actresses had to audition with. “...the sides that they sent for the audition, like Alina is talking to Genya and they’re talking about her eyes and they’re talking about her Shu ancestry.” having actresses of mixed-asian ancestry come in and act out that scene for white producers doesn’t really sit right with me. and i know that there’s an argument to be had about how it’s important to show the minutia of what it’s like to be ethnic in a world ruled by white supremacy and that it’s important to show how alina’s race affects her story, but i don’t think that going this far is necessary to the development of plot or character. 

and i don’t personally know jml, i don’t know how she feels about the show apart from what she’s probably briefed to talk about in interviews, but it is perfectly valid for me to feel iffy about the microaggressions while she feels that it’s necessary for character development ( again, this is just an example, i have no clue what she thinks of the racism ). our experiences are different, our upbringings are different, but we’re both happy to see representation and i’m happy that she’s happy to see an actual mixed-chinese character on screen as the lead. 

i’m glad that the producers were open to diversity and were open to making the lead a person of color, but it’s things like the treatment of shu characters and exchanges like “Tell her...Oh, I don’t know...good morning.” “I don’t actually speak Shu.” and “I didn’t know the Zemeni had such talent.” “She’s Suli.”  ( zemeni is a race of “dark-skinned” people and suli are coded south asian/mena/wena so this exchange is just white people mixing the brown people up )  that remind me the majority of the writers and producers are white. 

now i’m not saying that you should boycott the show or that this show is the most problematic thing to ever grace my retinas, because i really enjoyed watching it and i want to see what season 2 has in store ( more crows content please ). but, i want you all to please keep all of this in mind when you watch the series and think critically of what kinds of unconscious biases these producers had. you’re allowed to have nuanced opinions, you’re allowed to be critical of the media you enjoy so long as you understand where some people’s criticisms are coming from---where my criticisms are coming from. i just hope in future seasons the treatment of alina gets better and that she actually learns to love her shu side because otherwise it’s just going to be problematic as the show continues. 

[raeynbowboi]

Animation Analysis: Centaurworld

When I first saw the trailers, I initially wrote off Centaurworld as a mindless, stupid kid’s show. You know the sort. The kind that talks down to its audience and treats them like they’re braindead morons. Like Teen Titans Go. The entertainment equivalent of dangling keys in front of your baby to distract them. But I’m surprised to find I enjoyed... aspects of it. Wammawink and Horse had a great foil dynamic and their duets were often really compelling character explorations. I also found myself laughing at Glendale and her kleptomania bit a lot. Glendale was easily the funniest character by a wide margin, followed by Wammawink and Horse. The final villain of the Nowhere King and his backstory was also quite engaging. He felt like a tragic mix of Beast and the Little Mermaid, loving his Beauty from afar, and changing to be with her. I found all of these elements to work and be compelling. The music was also really good, having an almost disney-level quality in some of them. The show was also clearly written as a musical, as like a normal musical, there would often be reprised versions, or repetition of instrumentals from one song in another, which makes it less of a show with songs, and more of an animated musical where the music strings together quite nicely. However, there were other aspects that bogged the show down as a whole. I won’t knock the tone, since that’s going to be more subjective, but if you asked me what the actual theme of the story was, the only one I can really point to is Horse changing and having to learn to love and accept who she’s become, and also kinda sorta reads like an allegory for being trans or coming out as gay? You’re noticeably different, but hope not to lose the people you knew before you made that switch. Other than that, the only other theme I really came away with was maybe the juxtaposition of cutesy silly cartoons next to dramatic serious ones, trying to prove that even a silly cutesy cartoon can get dark and complex. But this is sort of where the show falls flat a bit to me, at least. It may have these ideas or themes like togetherness or acceptance, but doesn’t really explore these ideas thoroughly enough to make it clear that’s the moral we’re supposed to take away from the story. Yes, connections and family is certainly important, but why they’re important is never explored. Not in any way that doesn’t come off as comedic. The scene where Durpleton meets Chet certainly does a decent job at demonstrating found family, but it’s immediately undercut by the comedy of Wammawink arriving on a helicopter and Zulius appearing out of nowhere. That’s my other issue with the show. The characters are rather static. Aside from Horse and maybe Wammawink, nobody really changes by the end of the story. Durpleton has an arc about becoming a father, but it comes off more like Stabby developed Stockholm Syndrome, especially because his sudden change into a weird chibi baby form is never explained. Glendale is still a Klepto, Wammawink is still an overbearing hyperprotective guardian, Zulius is completely disregarded as a joke because we never see his backstory and he just... makes up with Sublime effortlessly, to the point where it basically becomes a non-issue. The only character I felt shows some growth is Ched, expect it’s not so much that he grows, as much as we learn his origins. And once we learn his origins, he keeps acting like an obnoxious tool, which fails to redeem his shitty personality. He’s not a Tsundere, he’s just an obnoxious bully who negs Horse at every opportunity. Some of the ending is also slightly contrived. The purple-haired lady (I think she has a name but I swear they NEVER say it in the show, they just call her ‘my lady’ or ‘princess’.) just knows to stab her husband, even though we’re not really sure how much she knows about who he is. We sure did have time for a dumb fandom/con plotline but not time to flesh out and actually explore her relationship with the general. Because we literally never see any part of their actual marriage. If you’re just looking at the flashbacks in sequential order, we see her marry the general, her lead the elk out of the dungeon through the sewers, and then the three of them together in the rift. That is literally all we see of that phase of her life. There is no indication of how she felt, or how she came to learn what was going on. We don’t get to see that change of mind, that ‘aha’ moment, which causes the Last Lullaby to feel weak. It lacks the weight it should have because we barely know who she is as a character. She’s in 4 episodes, and most of her screen time she just kind of... exists. We don’t really know how she feels or what she wants. And that’s sort of where Centaurworld falls flat. It spends so much time being whacky and colorful it forgets to really develop its characters. Which is why I have to sadly put Zulius into the box of bad queer representation. He’s just a joke character. He’s comedic relief. He’s just a bad gay stereotype with no deeper nuance or deeper character. He’s a surface-level cliché, and that’s so disappointing for a show that seems to want to present itself as progressive and open-minded. But being a gay stereotype is 99.9% of his character. Season 2 is also rather aimless until the finale movie. There’s this subplot of Horse needing a win, and to feel like her decision to stay was the right choice, but the main plot surrounding this subplot are kind of boring. The Horse thing is great and makes terrific sense for her character, but the episodes that facilitate this arc are rather uninteresting. Glendale helps a bunch of arctic centaurs with their anxiety, but I can’t really say this feels like any sort of conclusion to an arc. There was never this fixation on Glendale being hyper fragile to the point that she broke under any kind of pressure and would never be the type to lead or inspire others. She had running gags of anxiety and nervous break downs, but they don’t feel resolved by this episode. It just sort of comes off as a weird joke that Glendale has actually managed to turn a bad situation around to her benefit. At the end of the day, Centaurworld was... interesting. I’d be willing to give it a B- if only because there are plenty of shows more boring, soulless, and lacking any form of identity than this one. But character arcs stall out, and some side characters who feel like they should be explored end up sidelined. I would have bumped the show up to a B if it had committed to the major character death. But no, stupid kid show logic dictates we must treat a death scene with the utmost seriousness and then immediately undercut it by going “just kidding”. It’s to the point now when a character acts like they’re dying, I’m just looking at my watch wondering how long they’re going to milk this before playing an Uno Reverse on the whole thing. Centaurworld is honestly a mixed bag. It has good music and the main character is interesting, as well as the villain. But it’s also kinda rushed, and filled with side characters who are either stagnant or underdeveloped, leaving it as a decent and memorable show, but held back by lack of depth and focus on further details. I’m satisfied with giving it a B-. It’s above average. But, I doubt I’ll rewatch it more than once or twice in the future. Kinda like She-Ra. It was fine, but I’m probably not going to go out of my way to rewatch it again and again now that I know how it ends. Would I recommend it to others? Maybe, but they’d have to be people that I know would appreciate the show’s tone and aesthetic.

[alj4890]

All Through The Night

A Choices: The Royal Romance Dark AU fanfiction. 

A/N Other than my few Bloodbound shorts, I’ve never written anything with supernatural overtones before. After receiving requests to see Liam and Riley’s story if he was a vampire, this storyline was born. Since it is set in one of my favorite books from Pixelberry, I had to include as many of the main and supporting characters as I could. The following chapters will explain more where they and what our main characters are. Not going to lie, I am very anxious to step out of my comfort zone for this, but I’m also super excited to see how it goes. Along with The Royal Romance, I will be referencing and altering both The Crown and The Flame and The Royal Masquerade.

@gkittylove99​​ @krsnlove​ @kingliam2019​ @texaskitten30​ @yourmajesty09​ @mom2000aggie​ @ofpixelsandscribbles​ @twinkleallnight​ @lodberg​ @twinkleallnight​ @amandablink​ @neotericthemis​  @mm2305​ @sfb123​ @iufilms​​ ​ ​

Masterlist

Prologue

Once upon a time...

"Father!" Zenobia rushed down the stairwell. "Kenna is at the gates!"

King Luthor's frown deepened as he studied the places his troops had been destroyed. His hope to unite the five kingdoms and wipe off the abomination was for naught.

Kenna would not stop until he and his surviving offspring's heads were on pikes.

...until their blood filled the crystal goblets of the Dark Queen.

"What do we do?" His son, Diavolos, asked.

Luthor knew it was only himself Kenna wanted. After he had killed her mother, hoping to stop the monsters once and for all, Kenna would have her revenge.

If only he had known that she was a vampire...just like her mother.

"Listen carefully." His voice trembled at this possibly being the last time he was able to speak to his son and daughter. "A Nevarkis must always be ready to fight the creatures that prey on the weak and vulnerable."

"But..." Zenobia sniffed. "How? How can we possibly kill the unkillable?"

"She can be killed just like her mother before her." Luthor snapped. "Sunlight. A dagger to the heart. Cutting the head off." His features hardened with resolve. "Know that those are our true allies. Continue your training with daggers. Never stop being vigilant. Educate your children. And remember: where there's one vampire, many more lie in wait in the shadows."

Diavolos stepped forward and gripped his father's shoulder. "We will fight for you."

"No." Luthor corrected. "Fight for our people. The innocent. Fight for a chance to live without fear of monsters."

He cleared his throat. "If I should die--"

"Don't say that!" Zenobia screeched. "We'll be--"

"Kenna is coming for me." Luthor interrupted. "I know I must face the consequences of my actions."

"But--" Divalos lowered his head. "What are we to do?"

"Kill her." Luthor ordered. "Let your emotion be your strength." He took their hands. "And remember that a vampire is nature's evil incarnate. They will do whatever they want and kill anyone who they think is in their way." His voice turned to pleading. "Kill Kenna before she has a chance to kill you."

Zenobia nodded in a jerky manner. Diavolos swallowed with tears in his eyes.

"Good. Now prepare yourselves." Luthor pulled his sword from its sheath. "The devil herself is here."

*****************

Two years later...

Kenna cuddled her infant son, humming a lullaby.

Dom came in, a soft smile gracing his lips at the sight of his family.

"How are we this evening?" He asked, placing a kiss first on her lips then one on his son's forehead.

"A little fussy." Kenna explained. "But otherwise perfect."

"Good." Dom stretched then went to stoke the fire. "I will be going out later tonight."

Kenna's head jerked up. "Why? Are there more rumors?"

He nodded, a determined frown formed on his lips. "The Nevarkis brats refuse to let us live in peace." He moved to stand before the window that looked out toward the kingdom he had once lived in.

High in the mountains, the couple and those like them had found sanctuary. They built a kingdom, one of darkness and shadow that allowed them to live freely. He and Kenna were crowned the rulers, chosen by their people...those that were cursed as monsters.

"Si and I will be standing guard." He explained. "I will not risk you or our child."

"Dom..." Kenna pulled him close, capturing his lips in a long tender kiss. "This must end. I was foolish to let my need for revenge take over." Tears sparkled in her eyes. "Luthor might have left us alone if I had given him a chance."

Dom's face contorted into furious hatred. "A Nevarkis can never be trusted!" He gripped her waist, hands heating as he lost his temper. "He would have plunged a dagger into your heart the first chance he had."

"Dom." She said softly when he singed her clothes.

He wrenched his hands from her with a grimace. "I didn't burn you, did I?"

She shook her head. "I'm fine." She tried to lighten the mood. "Just a little overheated."

He took deep breaths to get himself under control. "Stay here where it is safe." His eyes searched hers. "Have you fed recently?"

"No, but I should be fine until you return." Kenna lifted a bottle with blood for their son. "I can call on one of the servants to help me if I need to."

"Promise me you won't go outside." He pleaded.

"Only if you promise to come back to me." She responded.

His lips quirked in that cocky smile she has always adored.

"Always, my queen." He kissed her once more, then slipped out the door to search out their enemies.

******************

Present Day New York...

"Cordonia...land of both beauty and mystery." Riley wrinkled her nose. "Boring."

"No, it isn't." Hana argued. "I think that is the perfect beginning."

"Look at the comments from our last video." Riley swiveled her laptop so her friend could see. "People love our walkthroughs and all but hate my narration."

"Well..." Hana's brow furrowed. "Maybe we should try to add more to it than just narration." She pulled out some sketches. "We could add some animation of the history before showing our footage of the country."

"That might work." Riley mumbled, tapping her pen against her notebook.

The two set to work planning their next project.

After years of trying, they had finally achieved their dream of traveling for a living. The two college friends had taken every class they could on how to make their hopes into a reality. With Riley's love of history and business and Hana's talent with art and fashion, the pair had created a successful travel channel that showcased rarely visited countries and cities around the world.

Hana took care of all the shopping and dining found at their chosen destinations. Her "day trips" were hailed as must see for anyone planning a vacation. Riley took over for what could be found at night. Myths and legends blended in with what could be discovered once the sun set. A place's nightlife was thoroughly researched and reached a wide variety of their audience, causing many to plan a vacation just on her recommendations alone.

"Did your mom suggest where we should go first?" Riley asked, after skimming the same few articles about the elusive country.

"Not really." Hana hedged.

Riley glanced up. "Is she giving you a hard time again?"

"Yes." Hana slumped in her chair. "She told me to call when I was done playing tour guide."

"Geez." Riley grumbled. "Does she not realize that we have created a legit business?"

"Ladies shouldn't be involved in anything that does not pertain to their husband and family." Hana quoted. "I was supposed to have my debut to Cordonian society last year." Angry tears filled her eyes. "She still hasn't forgiven me for missing out on the Masquerade Ball."

Riley wrapped her in a comforting hug. "I'm sorry."

Hana patted her back. "Don't be. I finally feel like I can accomplish anything."

"That's because you can." Riley sat back with a grin. "Especially with planning out what we should focus on first."

Hana giggled as she went to search out some of her old books she had inherited from her grandparents. "These might help you with your part."

Riley's eyebrows lifted over the titles. "The Crown, the Flame, and The Night Queen."

"That is the earliest recorded story of vampires and monsters in Cordonia." Hana explained. "Queen Kenna Rhys and King Luthor Nevarkis both fought over uniting the kingdoms that make up Cordonia." She shook her head in disbelief. "There is a legend that Queen Kenna was a vampire that married a man who could transform into a dragon."

"For real?" Riley eagerly opened the book. "What happened?"

"Luthor died." Hana reached for another history book. "Some say it was a sword fight while others say she ripped his throat out with her fangs."

"Whoa. Either way, she sounds pretty epic."

"His son got revenge though." Hana flipped to another chapter. "He sneaked in one day and supposedly dragged Kenna into the sunlight. Before her husband could save her, she burned to ash."

"Brutal." Riley shivered. "What did the dragon do?"

Hana shrugged. "Supposedly he left with their child to protect him." She pointed at some drawings rendered from the Dark Ages. "Kenna's son came back to extract revenge. He eliminated one entire side of the Nevarkis family tree."

"And let me guess," Riley picked up another book. "The remaining Nevarkis's struck back?"

"It's supposedly been a feud for centuries between the Nevarkis and the Rhys' families." Hana pulled up an image on her phone. "Though one is currently ruling Cordonia."

Riley studied the image. "Queen Olivia Nevarkis. Looks like the Rhys lost the throne."

Hana shrugged. "There's a myth that they still rule Cordonia from the shadows."

"Mythical royal vampires, huh?" Riley laughed at the thought. "I hope I bump into one just so I can figure out who's really in charge."

Hana giggled at the thought. "You would be the only person to ask a logical, government question instead of the usual, whoa you're a real live vampire!"

Riley threw a pillow at her. "Hey! I can be calm and collected when faced with the unknown."

Hana threw the pillow back. "Tell that to the supposed haunted house we visited on our last trip." She broke out into laughter with Riley's defense that squeaking doors were the true villains. "On that note, I'm going to start packing. Our flight leaves first thing in the morning."

"I'll be ready." Riley promised.

Once alone, she flipped to a more current timeline of the supposed Dark Kingdom.

King Constantine Rhys the Third rules over what is his rightful kingdom. Rumors swirl that he is simply biding his time until he can eliminate the usurper, Queen Olivia Nevarkis, First of Her Name. The people know that one day, a Rhys will sit upon the throne, uniting the Dark Kingdom and Cordonia once and for all.

****************

Cordonia's Royal Palace, 2 a.m.

"Heeeerah! Olivia threw her daggers as hard as she could while doing a roundhouse kick.

The blades struck into the chest, head, and groin of the makeshift dummy.

She brushed the few strands of red hair that had escaped her hair clip out of her eyes. With a great deal of scrutiny, she studied her dagger placement.

"The one to the head needs to go deeper."

She spun around with a start at that all too familiar voice.

"You're late." She folded her arms and tapped her foot.

Liam rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry. Had to stop off for a quick bite."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "That's not funny."

"Not that kind of bite." He teased, holding up a styrofoam box.

"Oh." She blinked in surprise. "I forget that you enjoy normal food too."

He chuckled at that. "There are certain foods that I don't think any man could ever give up."

Olivia decided to ignore that as she wiped the sweat from her face and neck. "Now that you're here, let's get the formalities over with."

"Very well." Liam gestured toward her. "You may go first."

She sat down on a bench lining one side of the palace gym. She motioned for him to join her.

"Not you!" She hissed when she saw his all too familiar guard.

Drake Walker bristled at her tone. His brown eyes clashed with her green.

"Give us a moment, please." Liam asked him.

"Don't let your guard down." Drake warned. "Remember, she's a Nevarkis."

Olivia tensed. "Perhaps you should remember what happened the last time you said something like that."

She quirked one eyebrow at the man and felt a sense of glee when he winced in memory.

His hand automatically drifted to his side where one of her daggers had once struck true.

With a quick bow to Liam, Drake stepped back out into the hallway.

Liam shook his head. "Are you two ever going to get along?"

"Stop talking stupid." Olivia snapped. "Now then, as you know...I must have my revenge."

"I know." Liam folded his arms and leaned casually against a column.

She eyed him for any sign of hatred.

It drove her crazy how unvampiric he could be.

He seemed almost human.

He seemed...kind.

A vampire is nature's evil incarnate. You can never trust a Rhys.

Those words had been drummed into her skull by her parents and then her aunt after their deaths by Constantine's hand.

And yet...Liam had done the unthinkable.

He had actually been a friend to Olivia.

*************

The night after her parents' funeral, five year old Olivia had been sitting alone before the fireplace, weeping over them.

Her aunt had left her to deal with her own grief and to plan the next attack upon Constantine.

As she searched for a tissue, Olivia jumped back with a shriek at the little blonde haired boy that held the Kleenex box.

His eyes were filled with unshed tears as he handed her a tissue.

"Who are you?" She asked, remembering that a Nevarkis must always be brave.

"I'm Liam." He explained. "I wanted to...I wanted to tell you I'm sorry about your parents." He sniffed and took a tissue for himself. "My mom died too."

Olivia blinked and took a cautious step forward. "Are you...are you a vampire?!"

He nodded.

She whipped out the dagger her mother had given her and rushed at him.

Liam moved faster than she could comprehend, gently keeping her hand above her head.

"Let go of me, monster!" She ordered. "You're why I'm all alone!"

"I didn't do anything." He told her, anguish taking over his handsome features. "I don't want to hurt you or anyone."

"Liar!" She snapped. "That's what you do. Lie and kill." Her tears ran faster down her cheeks. "And now you'll kill me."

"I won't." He promised. "I swear I won't hurt you." He ignored his own tears trickling down his cheeks. His blue eyes burned with resolve. "My mother made me promise never to hurt a human."

Olivia shook her head. It had to be lies. Isn't that what vampires and monsters do? Lull you into letting your guard down so that they could have an easy kill.

"Your father will pay for what he did." She said, hoping to see his true, evil nature. "He must die!"

"I know." Liam slowly released her and took a step back.

Olivia watched in surprise as he sat down before her fireplace and pulled out a silk blue ribbon from his pocket.

He motioned for her to join him.

She slowly lowered herself down, dagger poised in her little fist in case he made a move.

"May I have your hand, please?" He asked.

He patiently waited on her to decide whether or not to give it to him.

She tentatively placed her hand in his.

His lips turned up into a relieved smile as he wrapped the ribbon over their joined hands.

"What are you doing?" She asked, lowering her dagger.

"Making a bond." He explained. "I, Liam Rhys, Crown Prince of the Dark Kingdom, promise to never seek out revenge and to end all vendettas against the Nevarkis family." His blue eyes held her green. "Just as my mother, Queen Eleanor wanted me to."

Oliva's lips parted. "You mean it?"

"I do." Liam's voice held a great deal of sincerity. "I would rather walk into the sun than not do as she asked."

"Oh." Olivia sniffed. She could understand that kind of devotion.

"Do you," Liam's cheeks colored. "Do you think we can be allies?"

"A Nevarkis will never be friends with a monster." She repeated the rhetoric that she knew by heart.

"But," Liam's shoulders slumped. "We're not all bad."

"All monsters are bad at heart."

"I'm not." He pouted. "I don't want to be."

"You're so weird." She muttered.

"Am not." Liam grumbled. "I hope I'm not."

Olivia looked down at their hands still bound together. "I guess since you promised something, I should too."

He didn't bother to hide his surprise.

She stuck her tongue out at him. "I, Olivia Nevarkis, The Crown Princess of Cordonia, swear that after I kill Constantine Rhys, I will lay down my weapons." Her brow furrowed. "I'll pick them back up though if you or any other monster tries anything."

Liam's smile grew. Before she could react, he tugged her into a quick hug.

"Now we can be friends!" He cheered.

"Friends?" She shook her head. "I'm a Nevarkis and you're a Rhys. We can't be friends."

"We will be." He vowed, jumping to his feet. "I have to go before Father finds out I've sneaked out. I'll try to come back in a few nights."

Olivia didn't have a chance to tell him whether or not she wanted him to. In the blink of an eye, he had jumped from her balcony and was already out the palace gates.

*****************

That had been the beginning of Liam's visits. Through the years, he had remained true to his promise. He did all he could to befriend her and never tried to sway her from seeking vengeance.

Olivia had once asked him how he could take her threat against his father so easily.

He had merely shrugged, explaining that he knew it was the way of things. His father had killed both her parents, while he had only lost one. He hoped she didn't since he did not wish to see his father or her dead.

Olivia had then told him again how weird he was, bringing another smile to his lips.

And now here he was again, calmly taking her promised vengeance well.

"So what business brings you here tonight?" She asked.

"Father thinks it is time I chose a wife." Liam responded. "I thought you should know that I will be spending more time in your kingdom to find one."

Olivia shot up off the bench. "What? But you promised to never hurt a human!"

"And I will keep true to that." He explained.

"But..." Olivia's brow furrowed. "You'll turn her into a vampire."

"Only if she wishes it." Liam explained. "I won't force her to make such a decision."

"I see." She began to pace while thinking. "You'll have vampire children."

"Only if she's a vampire." He reminded her. "Remember my brother."

Olivia paused. She had forgotten about Leo Rhys, The Great Disappointment of the Dark Kingdom. His mother had begged Constantine not to turn her. It had never been asked before, and in his mercy he had agreed. That was when they all discovered that a monster and a human could only produce a human child. In order for the heir to the Dark Kingdom to be a vampire, both parents had to be the same being.

"And you'll be fine having human children?" She asked. "If you're chosen bride refuses the Vampire's Kiss?"

"Of course." He responded.

"Lord, you're so weird." She muttered.

His smirk flashed. "Let's hope the woman I choose doesn't think so."

"Are there no women in your kingdom you can choose from?" She asked.

"I've looked." He shook his head. "It's hard to explain, but if one doesn't have an arranged marriage, then we must search until we see the one meant for us."

"And you somehow got weirder." She brushed her hands down her pants and held one out to him. "Good luck, I suppose."

"Thank you." He grasped her hand and lifted it to his lips. "I'll keep you updated on my progress."

"There's no need."

"Of course there is." He winked at her on his way out. "We're friends."

Her lips parted to once again remind him that they couldn't be. For some reason, she decided not to say it.

Liam had somehow wormed his way into her life and had become the closest friend she had ever had.

********************

The Lee Residence, Shanghai, China...

Lorelei paled as she reread the report. 

It can’t be. Not Now!

Of all the times for this to happen, it would be when her stubborn, foolish daughter decided to visit. 

Given the nature of her relationship with Hana, she knew that there was no way she could convince her to postpone her trip to Cordonia. 

There was only one course of action left to take. She would have to call the one man who was capable of protecting her daughter. She would promise hiim anything as long as he kept Hana out of Liam’s clutches. As much as wanted her to give up this ridiculous hobby she called a job and settled down with the right sort of man, she would never put her in the path of becoming the next vampire queen. 

Setting down the packet of information from one of her informants, she checked to make certain no servant was out in the hallway and then searched for the needed phone number.

Taking a deep breath, she placed the call.

Her trepidation grew when he didn’t immediately answer.

"Hello."

"Lord Beaumont?" 

"Yes." She could hear a door closing in the background. "Who is this?"

"Lorelei Lee." She replied.

"Lady Lorelei." He responded with a recognition. "How can I help you?"

"My daughter and her friend have got it in their heads to come visit Cordonia." She began. "I'm not certain how long they intend to stay, but I was hoping that I could retain your services."

"For what exactly?" Lord Beaumont asked.

"Protection." She replied. "I have heard through certain channels that the dark prince is beginning to search for a bride." She took a deep breath. "We do NOT want our daughter anywhere near that vile creature."

"I understand." He replied. "I usually don't do personal security. With my brother, Bertrand, retired," he hesitated, "it is left up to me to help protect Cordonia's borders."

"My husband and I would be in your debt if you could watch over her in the evenings." Lorelei cajoled. "I've heard that your brother is planning on extending his vineyards. We would be more than happy to invest in the production and distribution of his sparkling wine. Perhaps even let it be the only sparkling wine we serve in our hotels."

"Send me her information and picture. Call her and tell her that since our family is an old friend of yours, that I've volunteered to show them around. Find out where she's staying and when she plans on arriving."

"Oh thank you, my lord. We--"

"I'll also need a contract prepared and signed for all that you offered." He added.

"Yes of course. I'll get everything to you at once." She promised.

Once he ended the call, she sank back down onto her chair. 

She bowed her head and began to pray that her daughter came to no harm these next few weeks. To lose Hana to one of the many creatures that roamed the night in Cordonia was too horrible to even contemplate.

If anyone could keep her daughter safe then it was none other than Lord Maxwell Beaumont.

[lady-divine-writes]

Good Omens - A Corpse, Cake, and a Cuppa (Rated NC17)

Summary: Aziraphale is Death and Crowley is the serial killer who keeps murdering to catch a glimpse of the ethereal being he fell in love with. (1714 words)

Notes: Written for the above Halloween prompt from @new-endings/M.A.D.#8943. Human Crowley au. It’s kind of gory, I’m not going to lie.

Read on AO3.

“Jesus Christmas!" Aziraphale yelps, tiptoeing through the thick pool of red coagulating on the concrete. Threads of it cling to the soles of his shoes when he lifts his feet as if trying to drag him down. Aziraphale has seen a great deal of blood in his time. None of it has been pretty. But this is especially gruesome.

He wonders if that’s for his benefit.

"Look at... look at this! Look at all the… !” Aziraphale takes a pause and breathes in deep, pressing the thumb and forefinger of his right hand to his forehead. Tension causes a vein to distend and throb - quite the feat since, as a non-human entity, he shouldn't be able to experience this kind of pain. Or so he thought. In the thousands of years he's roamed earth reaping souls, he's finally found the one mortal who can give him what humans call a migraine. And he doesn't like it. Not one bit. “Could you please just… stop already?"

Crowley grins, thrilled giddy by the arrival of his intended audience. “No,” he replies, shoving the slicked head of his filthy ax deeper into the severed spine of the fresh corpse at his feet.

Aziraphale grimaces as the blade lands with a resounding slap. 

That ax of Crowley's gets on every one of Aziraphale's nerves. It's effective for its purpose but positively unsanitary. It makes his skin crawl every time he sees it.

Crowley lifts it slowly, eyes Aziraphale menacingly.

Eyes his nice, clean coat, Aziraphale realizes.

“Crowley!” he warns, putting both hands up in defense. “Don't you dare... !”

But Crowley doesn't let him finish, hoisting his ax higher with part of the dead man's torso attached. He doesn't need to do anything after that. The torso falls from the blade and splashes down in the pool, accomplishing what Crowley set out to do.

“Holy... GAH!” Aziraphale leaps back to avoid the spray. He frowns at his clothes when he sees he wasn't quick enough. "Look what you've done! You’ve made a mess of my coat!”

“Improved it, I’d say,” Crowley snarks. “Given it a pop of color.”

“I've had this coat for ages and hadn't collected a single stain! Not one! And look at your shoes! Ruined!" He gazes down at Crowley's feet in despair. "I actually liked that pair.”

“Really?" Crowley tilts his head, batting his eyes innocently. "You didn't tell me that.”

“Yes, well... " Aziraphale busies himself fishing a handkerchief out of his pocket. Praying he’s swift enough to save the fabric, he pats at the specks on his sleeve "... it’s not my place to tell a homicidal maniac that he looks fetching in snakeskin, is it?”

Crowley pouts, his lower lip jutting out, making him look comically childish despite the streaks of blood running down his cheeks. 

Aziraphale’s brows pull together. He glances around, trying to work out what's wrong. "What? What is it?"

"You're being mean."

"How am I being mean?"

"You're calling me names."

"Accurate ones, yes."

"You sound disappointed."

"You think so!?"

“B-but... but why? I took your advice!" Crowley argues. "I changed me m.o.!”

“I didn’t give you advice! I said you should stop killing innocent people!”

“I did! This guy?" Crowley plants the heel of his sopping shoe into the dead man's crooked neck for emphasis. "He weren’t innocent! He was a serial killer, too! He just happened to be shite at it!”

"I can see that." Aziraphale peers into the vacant eyes of the man on the ground, spirit buzzing beneath his skin, waiting to be reaped. But Aziraphale is in no rush. In the choice between filling out paperwork and shooting the shite with Crowley, surprisingly, he chooses Crowley. 

Or maybe not so surprising, Aziraphale muses, biting his lower lip and indulging in a private chuckle. He rolls his eyes in disgust at himself right after. What are you doing? Stop that!

"Besides, I'm doin' you a solid!" 

Aziraphale scoffs, snapping back to his senses. "How do you figure?"

"You're Death, ain't ya? I'm keeping you in business!"

"I don't know if you've read the papers lately, dear boy, but humans are dropping like flies thanks to their own stubbornness and stupidity. You're slap in the middle of one of the worst pandemics in history, but instead of doing what you can to stay safe, you lot spend your time arguing over petty b.s.! I won't wear a mask! It's against my rights! I'm not taking the vaccine! It'll make me sterile! There is no disease! It's all a big conspiracy! Meanwhile, in the states, some orange lunatic has everyone drinking bleach! Believe me, I hardly need your help doing my job!" 

“Oi! Don’t lump me in with those prats!”

“Why not? You’re not wearing a mask, I see.”

“Don’t have to. I got my shot. And I keep me distance.”

“But you’re covered in blood! Did that man you dismembered have the virus!? You don’t know!” Aziraphale cringes at words that sound far more like concern than scolding. Which he should be doing. Scolding and ridiculing, and possibly calling the police.

But he won’t.

If Crowley were thrown in prison, it would be harder for Aziraphale to find an excuse to see him. Aziraphale has yet to decide if that’s something he wants, but either way, he’d prefer it not be at the expense of another life.

"Fine. Whatever. If that's the way you feel about it... " Crowley grumbles, letting what remains of that statement die as embarrassment rises to his cheeks, settling beneath the red already there. He crosses his arms over his chest and turns his face away. 

Just like a child, Aziraphale thinks. 

And as with a child, Aziraphale should have nipped this in the bud much, much earlier - like when Crowley realized that he could summon Aziraphale whenever he wanted by upping the frequency of his murderous antics. 

This, to date, is his twenty-seventh kill.

Aziraphale doesn't know how Crowley spotted him. He's pretty adept at avoiding human detection. But after victim number eight, Aziraphale turned around, scythe in hand, and there he stood: tall, gangly, bizarrely besotted, dressed in black and wearing sunglasses at one in the morning. Aziraphale thought Crowley was a run-of-the-mill psychopath looking for attention, seeing Aziraphale as a hapless dolt to play cat-and-mouse with, not knowing for one second who he was dealing with.

Not only did Crowley know exactly who Aziraphale was, but he had taken a considerable shine to him.

Aziraphale humored the man when their paths crossed so he could get on with his work, never for one minute considering the consequences. Thinking back on their past interactions, Aziraphale can pick out the hints Crowley had been dropping.

Aziraphale played right into them, and he could kick himself over it.

"We have to stop meeting like this," Aziraphale quipped dryly after Crowley had beheaded some poor, down-on-his-luck fool. "I'm going to start thinking that you have a thing for me."

"Finally!" Crowley tossed his arms in the air. "At this rate, I was going to have to murder half of London and spell out the words ’Will you go out with me?’ with their bodies. Do you know how time-consuming that would have been?"

Aziraphale had written that comment off as a morbid attempt at humor. 

Now he feels like an imbecile.

He’s going to get an earful from Gabriel if he ever gets wind of this. Aziraphale has been able to cover up the increase in London deaths by blaming the pandemic. But once people get their acts together and things calm down, he’ll have to come clean.

There’s a serial killer roaming the streets that has a serious crush on him.

Aziraphale lets out a heavy sigh as he comes to a decision.

A bad decision.

He's going to regret this. He knows he's going to regret this. 

But will he really though?

Aziraphale looks Crowley over, still moping with his nose in the air. He examines him at depth - his sharp features, his debonair style (hiding beneath a litre of blood), his devil-may-care attitude, his rowdy sense of humor. If he were another angel, or even a demon, Aziraphale would have asked him out already, body count or no. 

So what is he waiting for?

It’s not entirely unheard of, an angel dating outside their dominion. And as for the moral issues of dating a murderer, well, Aziraphale is an angel. He has a responsibility to bring sinners to the light, help them see the truth. That can be done anywhere, not just in church - on a street corner, in a diner…

Back at his flat.

Besides, he and Crowley have a lot more in common than Aziraphale did with his last paramour, an angel he had dallied with solely for the fact that he was guardian of comestibles.

It seemed like a match made in Heaven, so to speak.

Far from it.

“Look - if I let you take me out for coffee, will you stop the gratuitous bloodshed?”

Crowley all but gasps when that question leaves Aziraphale’s mouth, the grin growing on his face transforming, becoming less maniacal and more… normal if that makes any sense. "One cup of coffee. That's all I ask."

"Then come along. Here… “ Aziraphale snaps his fingers, cleaning Crowley thoroughly before he takes his arm. “If you're good, I'll let you buy me a slice of cake.”

“That’s very generous of you.”

“I’m glad you think so. I’m a very slow eater. And I figure the longer I stay with you, the more I can keep an eye on you."

“Deal. But, you know," Crowley starts, his tone so filled with teasing he’s on the verge of giggles, "if you, say, spent the night at my flat, you could keep an eye on me for hours. Think of all the people I wouldn’t be able to kill.”

Aziraphale smirks, amused that they both had a semblance of the same idea. “You don’t say?”

“I do.”

“That’s blackmail.”

“More so than you bartering human lives against a cuppa and cake?”

Aziraphale shrugs, but he doesn't relinquish Crowley's arm. He does, however, relieve him of his ax so he doesn’t get any ideas along the way. “Fair point.”

[kaizokuou-ni-naru]

The Voyage So Far: Dressrosa (Part Two)

east blue (1 | 2) || alabasta (1 | 2) || skypiea || water 7 || enies lobby || thriller bark || paramount war (1 | 2) || fishman island || punk hazard || dressrosa (1 | 2) || || whole cake island || wano (1 | 2)

wild how this is upwards of 750 chapters in and yet i still get a big dumb smile whenever luffy declares he’s going to be king of the pirates. one piece is a series very much driven by its main characters and their goals and dreams- i don’t think it would be nearly as good if the main character was anyone but monkey d. luffy. 

personally, i always just feel kind of proud whenever he says this, because- yeah!! he is!! that’s luffy, he’s going to be king of the pirates, and we’ve known that since day fucking one. 

i really think there’s something to be said about usopp never taking credit for saving luffy and law from sugar. it’s arguably his greatest feat in the entire series thus far- an impossible, perfect shot across an entire country, with an angry mob inches from his back- and he never even tells anybody he did it. he’s come a long way from someone who tells tall tales about heroic acts he never did to someone who doesn’t even feel the need to take credit for ones he really did, so long as his friends are safe.

i really like how corazon’s introduction and characterization throughout the flashback is handled. at the start of law’s flashback, we know a few things about him already: that he’s someone law loved very much, and that he was killed by doflamingo. we know how this ends. 

but then cora is introduced as a clumsy mute weirdo who nearly kills law as one of the very first things he does, and we as the audience aren’t really sure how to reconcile that- and then the rest of the flashback is us, along with law, slowly discovering what a complicated and contradictory but ultimately good person he is. something very similar happens with the asl flashback- we know the endpoint of luffy and ace’s relationship, but the flashback is all about how they got there, from attempted murder to willing self-sacrifice. 

i think it’s really cool the way law and doflamingo’s backstories are layered together. they’re characters who exist with a lot of parallels and similarities between them already, which is something they’re both clearly aware of- i’ve mentioned before i think the only real difference between them is that law got corazon where doflamingo got the executives- and presenting their backstories simultaneously only makes that more obvious. 

i’ve always found it so interesting that we get what’s pretty much our only substantial exposition about the will of d direct from a former celestial dragon. it makes sense- cora’s basically the only character we’ve met who both has this information and is willing to share it-  but i don’t know, there’s something that feels very poetic to me about him having this information that’s clearly been suppressed and hidden by the dragons and willingly choosing to share it in order to help protect law, a D, who should technically be the very enemy he was once taught to hate and fear. 

i really like corazon. 

it fucks me up that we can tell the exact moment cora dies from the moment law starts making noise again. 

this might be a controversial take? i’m not sure. but i like baby five. i think her and sai’s relationship is really sweet, and people might complain about her getting off easy or whatever but i’m honestly glad she gets a happy ending after being thoroughly emotionally abused and broken her entire life. and on a lighter note, she’s also just a fun character to watch through the whole arc- the running gag with her crying whenever law glares at her is still one of my favorites in the whole series. 

the shot of robin’s bloody back is a favorite of mine, because it’s a reveal that doesn’t get lingered on at all, and yet at once it gives the entire proceeding scene a lot more weight when we understand just how much pain she must’ve been in the entire time. and yet she never even flinched or faltered while protecting rebecca. nico robin is very, very strong. 

there’s something so deliciously fitting about diamante’s final fall ending with him cracking his head on scarlett’s grave, and something so lovely about kyros and rebecca finally getting their proper reunion there, when neither of them ever really got a chance to mourn.

law’s line about the strawhats trailing nothing but miracles in their wake is one of the first ones i always think of when i think about the strawhats in general and luffy in particular, mostly because it’s so true. from the very beginning, the strawhats have been doing the impossible, from sailing to the sky to breaking in and out of the world’s greatest prison, and law saw that and staked all his hopes on it and they did not let him down. 

also i think it’s very cool of law to, when held at gunpoint and down an arm, grin, flip doflamingo off, and tell him to eat shit and that luffy is going to kick his ass. love that for him.

i think dressrosa does a very good job of making the victory against doflamingo equally law’s and luffy’s. they cooperate and trade off fighting him throughout the arc to great effect, and i think it’s pretty clear that neither of them could have tackled the massive challenge of dressrosa alone. 

while the final fight is luffy’s, it’s made clear that that’s only after law’s done absolutely everything he could and spent the majority of the arc distracting doflamingo, keeping him occupied, and even fucking shredding his insides with pure radiation before finally needing to tap out. i think it’s a good balance, given that luffy is the protagonist but law’s grudge against doflamingo is the driving force behind the entire arc. 

conqueror’s haki clashes are always very cool, pretty much regardless of who or where or why, but the one between luffy and doflamingo is a favorite. 

one of the things that’s always impressed me about one piece in comparison to other shounen series is how it handles its powerscaling- in that it does it well with a gradual increase and villains who vary widely in strength instead of every arc necessarily needing to be bigger and better than the last- and i think the way it handles powering up the main characters is a big part of that. 

through the entirety of one piece thus far, i’d say luffy has had three major power-ups- second and third gear in enies lobby, haki at the timeskip, and gear four here in dressrosa (an argument could also be made for ryuuou in wano, but i think that’s less major than these others). this helps prevent runaway powerscaling and also makes new power-ups feel like a genuine event, which i really like. 

i once referred to luffy as ‘hopebringer’ in a conversation with friends, and it’s a descriptor for him i think sums up really well how he manages to save so many people while insistently not being a hero. luffy inspires people, inspires whole countries, starting all the way back with coby in romance dawn. it’s one of the reasons i think it’s fitting how thoroughly he’s associated with the dawn. 

doflamingo is very, very scary. which is interesting, because he’s indisputably less powerful someone like kaidou, but at the same time i find him a much scarier villain, and i think it comes down to doflamingo’s gleeful, wanton cruelty. not that kaidou is in any way shape or form a nice person, but our first introduction to doflamingo is him forcing marines to attack each other just because he’s a little bored. he hurts people just because he can, and finds it funny. 

relating to my earlier comment about hope, i really like how the whole country comes together at the end to cheer luffy on and count down to his return. it makes it feel all the more triumphant when it does, especially for the citizens of dressrosa who’ve been suffocating under doflamingo’s rule for years and can finally, finally see freedom.

other people have put a lot more thought of the symbolism of doflamingo’s eyes and glasses than i intend to, but i’ll settle for saying that it’s the breaking of the glasses, before anything else, before the birdcage even vanishes from the sky and everyone is safe, that shows us that, at long last, doflamingo is well and truly defeated. his glasses break, and so does his power. 

i’ve written a longer post about it before (here) but it’s a recurring motif that one piece’s worst villains are those that steal people’s freedom, including, in the cruelest cases, the freedom to express their emotions openly. we see it with koala and the celestial dragons, with the failed smile fruits in wano, and here, too, with kyros. and, much like koala, triumph for him means finally being able to cry. 

i mentioned it back in the first post, but i’m so, so happy rebecca and kyros get the happy ending they deserve. they’ve both been fighting a war that they never should have had to for years and years, and they both deserve to get to just live, now, peaceful and quiet and together and surrounded by flowers. 

i really dig the note dressrosa ends on. it’s happy, of course, obviously, with the liberation of the country, kyros and rebecca’s happy ending, the creation of the grand fleet, even law getting some degree of closure through his talk with sengoku, but it also leaves this massive, gaping question- what now? 

in a way, doflamingo’s speech here follows up on law’s new era speech from punk hazard. luffy and law have just thrown a major wrench into the delicate power equilibrium of the entire new world, and we have all these characters out there who might be affected, who might want to take advantage, who might try to seize the throne. 

[jokerous]

what are some fanfics u recc 😭🤲

I’m glad you asked, anon ;);) 

There are TONS of Heath Ledger’s Joker fan fiction that have been written since The Dark Knight came out and it’s totally understandable because Heath Ledger and Christopher Nolan managed to create such an ICONIC and multi-layered character with so much left for the audience to explore. I can say I’ve read quite a lot of TDK Joker stories since I first was introduced to fanfiction in, like, 2013, and, despite that, I’m very picky when it comes to fics and especially the portrayal of the Joker. 

I’m going to list my all-time faves below and I’ve decided to divide them into three groups: post-TDK Joker, pre-TDK Joker aka Jack Napier and, by popular demand, Batjokes. Also I’m assuming you are of age because the majority of these fics are rated M.

Post-TDK:

the Bad Jokes saga by Doctor Harley Quinn. A brilliant Nolanverse JxHQ adaptation of the Mad Love comic. This was the very first Joker fic I read and there was no going back :D and it’s still one of my faves <3 Reading order: Bad Jokes, Malady, The Ringmaster, Funny Business 

the Clockwork saga by the amazing HoistTheColours. I can honestly only speak superlatives about these series and this author. This is the most unique story I’ve ever read, beautifully written and structured. Reading order: Clockwork, Blackout + Clockwork AU sequels: JK, Burn 

Not Playing With A Full Deck by 4ofCups. What an EPIC story (though it’s more like a novel) and an action movie plot! The author is a witch genius who managed to describe the events that happen within a week or less in a 74-chapter fic (over 500k words) and include an insane amount of thoroughly developed characters, a total rollercoaster. Her Joker is extremely mean and ruthless, just how we love him :3

The Doctors And The Nurses They Adore Me So by the talented Lauralot. Arkham Joker shenanigans. Probably the most hilarious Joker POVs I’ve ever read. 

the Pastimes series by Doctor Harley Quinn. A gritty and thrilling Joker/OC fic full of angst and mind games. Reading order: Vivisection, Strategy, Metamorphosis, Shockwave

The Joker's New Pet by PrincessOfNerds. My guilty pleasure.

The Harlequin by knit-wear. Another great Nolanverse JxHQ fic, with incredibly written Arkham therapy sessions.

The First Responder by The Queen of Mean. 

Crazy by nohfase. Joker gets himself a personal tailor.

Pre-TDK Joker aka Jack Napier:

Grave by BCooper. The ending is super depressing, just how we love it :3

Original Sin by littlebatgirl. A beautifully written Jack Napier and Selina Kyle origin fic. 

Changes by SomeoneNewer. Probably the most gradual descent of Jack into Joker I’ve ever read. Kinda reminds me of the Going Sane Joker comic with a few differences.

Strings by Silential. I LOVE THIS FIC TO BITS. About the Joker/Jack, the origin of his knife play kinks and his wife who “gets in deep with the sharks”. 

WWJD by HoistTheColours. THIS STORY THO. An incredibly written gem. Not only did it make me emotional while reading it but completely wrecked me at the end. 

 Batjokes:

Life is so much better when you're dead by toluenesister

Dissolve and absolve series also written by the talented toluenesister

An Offer He Couldn't Refuse by Kayliana. The most hilarious batjokes fics I’ve ever read, hands down. Plus, it’s beautifully written and the dialogues are amazing and the Joker is so in character, totally would recommend ;)

Special mentions:

Untitled by 0anon. Well THIS author just perfectly captured the Joker’s actual train of thoughts. Wanna know how and what the Joker thinks and plans? Do yourself a favor and read this fic.

Dear Joker by 4ofCups. Joker responds to letters and gives his priceless advice to the readers of Gotham's premier advice column.

Happy reading :)