#especially his mother who did her best with her circumstances

[teafiend]

Am a fan of the character of 蔣簥 and despite my many issues with the show and its unremarkable writing, am rediscovering the reasons why it left an impression in my mind. Quite a few lessons to be gleaned here.

[the-greatest-magic-of-all]

Since it's coming up on the first anniversary of FH: Junior Year, I've been thinking about that hypothetical (probably unlikely) fourth season, and I really think it should be set during the Bad Kids' High School Reunion. Especially after MisMag 2, I feel like the storytelling opportunities just compound if the Intrepid Heroes had the space to let the Bad Kids' circumstances change more drastically than they would if they did a Senior Year or even a Homecoming.

Like, you could totally still have the first episode set in their Senior Year, and have it be on their Graduation Day. The Bad Kids could have all of their sweet, sentimental moments that you'd want to see (while also setting up the season's Big Bad, ala The Seven) and have the six of them (Fig crashes the Grad Party) take a group picture photo.

All of them are filled with so much hope and aspirations before hard cutting to ten years later and meet all of them in their late twenties (thirty for Fabian), and they are doing... not horribly, but we've seen what Spyre's like for teen adventurers. What's it like for a bunch of adults who used to or still do adventure??

How much have the Bad Kids grown? How much have they backslid into their old ways? How much do they keep in touch, and who are the ones who are still closest after high school?

How does Fig feel about getting older and maybe losing some of that teenage rebellion? How does Kristen deal with actually having a congregation that's counting on her? How often does Gorgug think about killing his new boss, Arthur Aguefort? How exhausted is Adaine in the midst of the Wizard equivalent of a Doctorate (and her mother still evading her and Aelwen)? How badly does Riz need this reunion because adventuring without his best friends just isn't the same? AND most importantly...

How many divorces is Fabian Aramais Seacaster on, and why is it two?

[witherby]

Sorry if you answered this, but since jj raised punch what was that like for him? Like especially when she was super little?

-⏳

Great question! It was some of the most stressful parts of his life!

⚠️ This is a violence and injury-heavy series. Graphic descriptions of harm may apply. ⚠️

You have to understand that there was already a lot going on in the first place. JJ had only been brainwashed into Momsy and Popsy's little family for about a year before Harley broke up with the Joker and fled. She'd finally hit her limit with abusive and toxic relationships and his rampant cheating every time she turned her back, so she tossed her old costume in his face and peaced out without sparing a second glance at JJ.

Feeling abandoned, and still trying to keep a shred of sanity after his violent conditioning, JJ was now the sole source of Joker's attention, and it was bad. It took months of trial and error — much, much error — to learn Popsy's hair-triggers and how best to appease or avoid them. He learned the best ways to smile for him, when the right time to laugh was, and when to make himself scarce. For the most part, he got a routine down and could handle his new life just fine.

Even if he sometimes dreamt of thick, comforting capes and a ruffle to the hair and warm, hot meals, even if he woke up from nightmares about his conditioning just barely suppressing a scream, even if he occasionally fantasized about stuffing a grenade down Popsy's big grin and watching him paint the walls red, JJ had a routine he worked hard to maintain.

Until you appeared. Your mother was some henchwoman the Joker had taken a liking to and apparently had some unprotected fun with a couple months before Harley left. Unfortunately, Popsy hadn't let her go to the hospital to deliver you, so you were born in a pile of tarps and packing peanuts in the corner of their latest hideout. Your mother suffered a bad bleed and hadn't made it, leaving a brand new infant without a food source and your father literally incapable of caring less.

"What do I look like, a father!?" The Joker had laughed. Only to see JJ standing just off to the side looking sheet white. "Oh, right. Congrats, Junior; if the baby dies it's all your fault, 'cause Heaven knows I won't be doing any of the heavy lifting! Ha! Someone fetch me my coat, I've got a date with Batsy tonight I just can't miss!"

And wasn't that a horrifying job to give a 12-year-old.

So JJ buckled down, gently brushed the packing peanuts from your sticky body, found a clean blade to cut your umbilical cord, and wrapped you up in one of his hoodies. Your mother was hauled off and disposed of in a garbage bag with zero fanfare, and he swore to himself that you would not follow suit. You, who was so small and innocent and undeserving of the cruel circumstances that had befallen you, yet there you were all bundled up in his arms.

The last time JJ asked a henchman for help with something, they deliberately fucked it up and got him in trouble, so your brother took you with him to go rob a grocery store of all the formula and diapers he could physically carry, coming to terms with the fact that he would not be able to rely on anyone for help.

No one else would care for you. No one else would try. But Popsy told JJ to do it, so he would. He could do this, no problem. JJ was still struggling with coming into his identity, but his intelligence was as high as ever. How difficult could caring for a harmless baby even be?

It was hard. It was so fucking hard actually. The memory of how hard it was getting you through your infant stages is still enough to give JJ palpations today.

You cried a lot. All the time. Part of that was because you were cold — abandoned buildings seldom still had any utilities running, least of all the HVAC — and part of that was because you were hungry — villainy did not come with a paycheck — but JJ did his best to make it work. Every day he strapped you to his chest, paranoid that leaving you alone too long would result in Popsy or a henchman deciding to do away with you, and helped make the next batch of plans to either take over Gotham, take out the Bat, or both. Every afternoon he worked with his hands and shimmied you to his back so stray sparks didn't hit your skin from welding or blowtorching, as he built weapons and traps and moved big pieces of cargo from point A to point B at Popsy's command. If it was a good day, there was, at max, one tantrum from his Popsy to defuse. If it was a great day, you were quiet and didn't draw anybody's attention thus triggering one of Popsy's tantrums. There were so few great days in your infancy.

And in the evenings, when all the work was done and Popsy had retired for the night, JJ climbed to the highest point in the building and made a warm little bed out of every stolen material that wouldn't be missed. He'd make sure you had a fresh diaper and a full belly, wrap you up in a stolen onesie, and read to you with stolen baby books just above a whisper. And you would stare at him with your big, round eyes, and reach for his hands with your itty bitty ones, and grip him as tight as you could. Watching. Listening. Taking your cues from him, slowly but surely.

JJ would then lie down with you securely on his chest and listen to you breathe as you slept. He'd stare at the ceiling and think back to Janet Drake when she used to pay him any attention as a baby. He couldn't recall the sound of her voice anymore, but he remembered that she would hum for him when he was fussy. He remembered that she'd give him little squeezes to comfort him. He remembered her kisses to his forehead.

He remembered Bruce's pats to the top of his head. He remembered Alfred's gentle shoulder squeezes. He remembered Dick's brilliant smile.

Tim JJ would use those fading memories to help him care for you as best as he could. Because that's all they were anymore, memories of a past life that no longer belonged to him. The sooner he accepted that, the easier it would be to fully and completely settle into his new life as Joker Junior and as your big brother.

Despite having no formal education, you were a quick learner. When you started to walk and talk, it didn't take long for JJ to teach you the ins and outs of navigating life under the Joker's rule. You made some mistakes, of course, because you were a child being raised by a teenager. One such mistake, in which the Joker had taken a hammer to your wrist for accidentally setting off a small explosive in the latest warehouse, led to the realization that you don't feel pain.

That was good because pain couldn't be used to bully you into submission.

That was good because it meant you wouldn't stay out of commission for as long whenever Popsy wanted to put you to work.

That was bad because Popsy could do just about anything to you with little consequence.

That was bad because Popsy liked it when his victims suffered consequences, and your lack of a "proper" reaction sometimes exacerbated his ire.

JJ adapted. Taught you what signs and cues to look out for in terms of how bad an injury was since your body couldn't do it for you. Put you on a feeding schedule when he realized you didn't have hunger cues, either. Helped you understand the swimming in your vision when you were sick and the tingly numbness in your fingers and toes when you were frightened. Showed you how to properly apply face paint and helped you dye your hair green to please Popsy. Tried to teach you how to read and write so you could help draw up blueprints, and how to do basic math so you could properly weigh the amount of explosives needed to build a bomb. Made up games the two of you could play when all the day's work was done. Learned to style your hair and taught you proper hygiene to keep you healthy and help you feel pretty.

JJ did everything for you. At first because it was asked of him, and then because he loved you. He loved to make you laugh and smile, he loved to teach you new things, he loved to invent new games with you, he loved to keep you safe.

Because the Joker might be part of his family, but he's not crazy enough to believe that the man has any love for him. You do, though. You love your big brother and love to learn and laugh and play with him just as much as he does.

JJ raised you from birth when your mother could not and your father would not. You are his baby sister and you are the joy in his world. He'd do it all again for you, no questions asked.

[urautismdiagnosis-wistie]

•°○ let the fireflies play ○°•

✨she couldn't sing for nothing and he couldn't dance for nothing can I make it any more obvious✨

Kwaziis parents (in my au, Misty Memories), Anira and Kenneth. They're in their party clothes lol Yes they have full character arcs and lore and no im not going to share their whole lives right now.

HOWEVER,I shall BRIEFLY describe them and how they met under the tag!!! <3 u don't have to read but yeh :> 😊

If yall have any questions about them or their personalities tho let me know in comments or ask box :>

Their story takes place from late 80s to early 90s btw,

Kenneth is clearly the second son of the Calicoed Jack and younger brother of Kingsley by about 2 or 3 years. Kenneth (also nicknamed "Kenny boy"or "Kenny kit" as a child) is... Well to be honest hes not very good at being a pirate, especially not like his parents. An anxious and overly cautious one.

He couldn't properly swing a sword without closing his eyes for fear of injuring himself, he was clumsy (even by non feline standards-), and was afraid of spiders. (And heights... and loud noises... and that one Pelican that tried to eat him when he was a kitten- and also-)

However, he was still raised a pirate and had the soul of one, shanty songs and tales spread through the ocean about its depths and tragic battles- He was also very good at cooking-

As a result of his mothers... tragically lost battle with illness, (and witness of his fathers struggles with infection after losing his eye and leg)hes also extremely paranoid about disease and injury...

(his father loved him dearly but hadn't realized that kenneth had low self esteem for... not living up to him, his mother, and his brother... CJ was a young and inexperienced father and also tried his best to teach kenneth- you know like fun survival challenges between him and his brother and how to fight- he uh.. he was good at surviving on an island at least? It was very safe of course, they weren't actually stranded, but it was "just in case" and also "the pirate way" and whatnot.

CJ (calico jack) did tease him a bit about "still feeling like a wee kit" in regards to his pirate failures, it wasn't ever in mean spirit, more fondness over his sons excitement in sharing the shanties he wrote himself! (Shanties cj would later use to stay sane in the amazon...) but kenneth still felt hurt by those comments though he never showed it... laughing along🥺 <:< )

anyways since kenneth didn't want to be a self proclaimed dead weight and was so concerned about injury and disease (bot as easy to get hospital treatment as a pirate yk?) Kingsley advised him to get real schooling- schooling that would give him credibility for a fake identity so he could become their crews official medic someday. Something incredibly valueable and needed.

Thats how he ended up spending half the year at a "flexibility school" in Japan meant to accommodate children who couldn't stay at school for the full year. Whether it was due to international travel, long term illness, apprenticeships (the salty spirit was usually undercover as a "transportation vessel" for the "Sarah Sails" company which was just a fake company made by their clan the Split Tail), and ofc children hopping between foster families- because of the flexible needs yk?

Like Anira.

Anira Kucing (name inspired by the kucing Malaysia cat breed) is, who would've guessed it, originally from Malaysia. Anira doesn't know this but her mother had fled from her home country due to the unfortunate circumstance of being a prime suspect for the death of her sister. Unfortunately, while her mother did manage to take a new identity in a new country, she became very ill from cancer when anira was very young and died <:( thus she was legally an orphan, and ended up attending the same school

Anira is ah, ahem, a... unique individual- grew up assuming her father had abandoned her and her mother- only to lose her mom while young and still be seen as a foreign stranger of Japan despite being raised there her whole life. She also had an interesting tendency to pickpocket everyone in sight :) because if she didn't have anyone to dote on her she might as well dote on herself! Yk with like.. stolen cash that the rude rich kids that whispered about her didn't even need anyways >:)

Anira thus became Very Talented at getting people to talk about themselves, and while that was a great way to distract people from their wallets,it was also a GREAT WAY to get fresh juicy gossip ✨ then she hears about this FOREIGN ENGLISH SPEAKING CAT GUY???

Needless to say lil wee kenneth was uh.. a very new lil guy and ofc she just hadddd to help him cuz she's so kind and great! Esp since he looked so lost and like a total dumdum. well what happened was she ran up to him after school, dragged him away to a random street as she rambled in broken English, and then said "watch this!!"

And proceeded to pickpocket three very mean looking older teens. Kenneth, who, understandably, was very freaked out by this tried to drag HER away from them- and then well... hes got broken japanese and well things escalated 😔

He got into a fight with the three older teens, or rather a "run way swat at with claws and TRY TO RUN AWAY SOME MORE because oh great im corned in an alley :) , he also tried to find anira so they could both run away but uh... she was gone...

He tried to escape by scrambling over the wall of the alley only when a small paw reached out to help- and thus they escaped together-

Later on when they caught their breaths on a rooftop, he tried his best to ask her *HEY WHAT THE HELL* as politely as he could. This tiny little menace grinned as wide as possible and showed him FIVE WHOLE WALLETS full of coins she stole! She thanked him and told him SHE was going to treat HIM to some icecream 🥰🥰🥰 and anyways kenneth immediatly fell in love. And you just know she ate up his cringey (cute) middleschool love poems too

Of course when he went to "do his sailing apprenticeship" well- of course our girlie mightve sorta followed him and stowed away and well mightve forcefully wormed her way into his entire family 🥰🥰🥰 honestly tho she had like two crack headcanons that kenneth was actually an alien spy since he was so bad at being a cat or a secret pirate because he just agreed with crime very casually and didn't realize how strict laws actually were. She DIDNT THINM HE WAS ACTUALLY PART OF A PIRATE CREW THOUGH-

Anira very much fell in love with the freedom of being a pirate, the culture and the family, and also the beliefs of the polynesian cultures they visited and adopted many of the beliefs as an honorary sister of sorts ig? Yeh :>

If you're wondering yes she did join their crew and became a navigator of the salty spirit! Very good at it too lol, and CJ loved her and doted on her like his own daughter,often sneaking her candies- Kingsley and she became ah, how shall we say- the siblings who have heinous prank wars either with eachother or on literally everyone else and can't be left alone together under any circumstances.

anira always loved kenneth for who he was entirely and kenneths entire bloodline is just a wee man who falls for a woman who commits crimes and he's no different. I'll have to post about calico jackand his wife maddie sometime

Anyways thats it lol, more details about them and their relationship and story will be shared later on hope you enjoyed lol

Enjoy this icecream as a reward for reading all of that ✨🍨✨

[babybearnation]

Soulmate au Pato who's soulmate hates the entire thing but ends up as in love with him as he is with them please bear

love me some good angst

pato o'ward x gn!reader (soulmate name on wrist au)

cw: mentions of abuse (not between pato & reader), mentions of self harm

you hated the idea of soulmates

why did someone have to be chosen for you? why couldn't you make your own choices?

you grew up with a father who didn't act like the dream soulmate to your mother

you were pretty sure soulmates weren't meant to abuse each other after all

therefore, you ignored the name on your wrist, covering it up with bracelets or makeup

you even tried scratching it out of existence, but no matter how deep you cut, the scars would simply fade out of existence

you hated it all

as you got older, you got better at ignoring it until you were mostly unaware of it

your friend was a huge fan of motorsport, mostly f1, but as the 2024 season continued on, you heard one name that made your hackles raise

patricio o'ward

it was the name that lined your wrist

you were thrown back to being a teen again, trying to cut the name off of your wrist

when your friend begged you to come to the indycar paddock with her, you weren't sure what to do

you couldn't lie without exposing the truth about your aversion to soulmates and who your soulmate was

but you also didn't wanna run the risk of meeting him and being forced to confront that bond

you eventually agreed, not wanting to leave your friend to go by herself

you were trying to remain positive and confident as you walked through the paddock, but things soon turned sour

you lost your paddock pass

it had your name on it, thanks to your friend jazzing it up, and now someone, maybe even your soulmate himself, would find it

and sure enough, that's exactly what happened

you were hunting around for your paddock pass, meanwhile pato himself held it in his fist as he chatted with other drivers, waiting for someone to mention the missing pass

the only reason pato was clinging to it was because it had your name on it - the same name on his wrist

when your friend spots the drivers, including your soulmate, you aren't expecting her to drag you over, but she does

you're lowkey panicking, especially when she tells pato your name and he turns to you, eyes wide

"my soulmate" is all his says when you two make eye contact and its your friend's turned to be shocked

she looks back and forth between you two before turning to the other drivers and suggesting they leave you two alone

you're adamant she stays but nope, she's gone

you tell pato how it is - you don't care for him, you don't care for being his soulmate and he will not, under any circumstances, try and pursue a romantic relationship with you

when he offers friendship however, you reluctantly accept, unable to deny him and his puppy dog eyes

you two actually get along insanely well, becoming close friends

sometimes you find yourself imagining what it would be like to date him, but you always snap out of it, reminding yourself of your parents

you can't deny that you feel insanely drawn to him though

and before long, you do actually feel romantic feelings for him

you go to your best friend, sobbing and begging for advice

she comforts you, promising that you should go for it because pato is a total gentleman who would wait forever for you should you need it

you arrange to meet up with pato and when you do, in the safety of your own home, of course, you confess everything

the abuse you grew up a witness to, your history of self harm, your fear of soulmates, your fear of love and all your feelings for him too - all of it spilled out of you in a chaotic mess that ended with you sobbing your heart out

pato held you through it, promising that everything was okay and he could never force you to be with him if you weren't ready

you appreciated that and promised to update him on your feelings and how you were coping

he would encourage you to try and get into therapy but he would be willing to wait for however long it took if you didn't want to

you thanked him before gently kissing him on the lips

and pato glowed golden for the rest of the week

© all rights to babybearnation 2025.

[thisismeracing]

Ex | MS47

SOCIAL MEDIA AU

Pairing: black!singer!reader (she/her) x mick schumacher

Warnings: curse words, Twitter environment, breakup, mention of food, pregnancy, it's not proofread, etc etc. Minors DNI!

summary: Y/n and Mick used to be the golden couple in the paddock, that's why the internet went wild when they announced their breakup. Imagine how they reacted when Y/n dropped a song about not wanting to be his ex. Would the couple have any hope in getting back together?

a/n: none of the pictures used are mine, they are all from Pinterest and other apps. everything else is made up by me and I do not give permission for it to be published on a different platform. I would appreciate it if those things could be taken into consideration 💛

my masterlist | my taglist

yourusername

liked by dualipa, mercedesamgf1, and others

yourusername New song is out 🖤 Hope you guys like it!

view all 19,976 comments

schumicedes This feels like such a personal song, it gave me chills!

⤷ yn1990 It's like she recorded a voice message for him and then dropped it as a song.

f1sainzito I still can't believe they broke up, I'm still mourning their relationship

⤷ charleslechair1 I bet they will get back after this song lol

ynprincess I love her but this cover feels so...weird, idk, like it's rushed

⤷ mickeyn someone made a thread on twitter explaining it a bit, but it's basically a picture mick took of her, she wanted to make her message clear and that's why it's so artistically beautiful, it goes beyond the aesthetic

jorjasmith you’re so brave and pure, Ily!❤️❤️

winteryn Yn wanting to be friends with her ex, meanwhile I literally changed cities so I wouldn't see mine again

⤷ cruelsummer1 that's why I feel like they like gave themselves time, not really broke up fr, and now they realize it was not the best idea because they literally love each other.

dojacat Don't make me miss my ex, yn!!!! ☠️

woffantastic NOT THE MERCEDES ADMIN LIKING IT

mickschumacher

liked by georgerussell63, mercedesamgf1, and others

mickschumacher ⛰️

comments on tihs post have been limited

ynandschumi I wanted to comment something but I just know it will be deleted, so I'm just gonna say: you guys look good, hope you enjoyed your hike!❤️ also Angie seems a bit sad without her mother doesn't she....................

⤷ mercedessummer bestie, you did not LMAO

lewishamilton Roscoe says he's mad he was not invited!

mickschum90 I love you, mick!

sunandstarsyn This does not give happiness vibe...

dailycelebsupdate

liked by wonderfulyn and others

dailycelebsupdate We woke up this morning to the leaking of Y/n Y/l/n’s baby shower. The singer spent a little over a year off the radar after her breakup with F1 star Mick Schumacher, only to show up now pregnant! Who are we betting on to be the baby daddy?

view all 10,467 comments

ynlove we aint betting a thing, and stop saying “only to show up” as if these pics were posted intently, they were LEAKED. Respect Y/n’s right to her privacy!

sainzsunny I hated the fact that the leaked something that she did not want people to know, but my bet would be that she and Mick are back together since that song release 🤐

mickeyf1 You guys are disgusting

swiftieyln She lookes so peaceful, glowing and everything 😭

⤷ ynhundreds that because she was being able to keep her private life to herself.

f1gossipupdates

liked by user90, and others

f1gossipupdates Is everyone thinking the same thing?

view all 9,789 comments

schumacher47 Is leaking season? Wtf the wrong, why cant celebs have their privacy??

⤷ f1khalid especially Mick, he’s really open about how he likes to have his personal life respected. 😔

ynstars BABY SCHUMACHER ON ITS WAY!!!

hockeyf1d They MARRIED???!!!

ynbrasil I just know Yn will be pissed when she open her socials to this shitshow

yourusername and mickschumacher

liked by mercedesamgf1, estebanocon, and others

yourusername It's been a long ride and we wanted to share with you guys in a different way, the circumstances, however, did not help, so we are sticking to the good ol' Instagram announcement. We got married last year and decided to keep living in our particular heaven, I hope you guys don't get this the wrong way because we love the love and support some of you give us, but Mick and I needed to bask in our own love without interruptions or assumptions. This love grew bigger than us and it will be walking around the world in a couple of months. We appreciate our friends' discretion, and our fans' love, we see you and we love you. We hope you guys can respect our privacy and our wishes on keeping some details to ourselves. Love, Mick and Yn Schumacher

view all 34,572 comments

ynweeknd SHE SIGNED AS YN SCHUMACHER OMGGGGG

schumickeyf1 "This love grew bigger than us and it will be walking around the world in a couple of months" PLEASE IM SO LONELY THIS IS A WHOLE NEW LEVEL OF ROMANTIC

mickschumacher Forever, mrs. Schumacher ❤️

⤷ yourusername forever and some more, my love 💗

charles_leclerc omg thank goodness you guys told everyone, I was so scared I would let it slip

⤷ lechair16 Charles ☠️☠️ LMAO

lewishamilton you guys deserve all the happiness in this world 🤍

ynandmick I was right and nature is healing

twentyoneyns So let me get this clear, my ex gives me a reason to go to therapy, while Y/n's ex gives her a ring, then all the love and orgasms in the world, and then a baby??????????? God definitely has its favorites.

⤷ schumercedes not the orgasms 🗣🗣 HAHAHAHAHAH

ynandmickey MOTHER AND FATHER

⤷ popyn Literally

mercedesamgf1 We already have a spot for them 💜

sunnydaysyln Are we calling the baby schumini or minimacher? or baby schumi? or macherbaby?

⤷ yourusername HAHAHAHHA I love them all

********************

If you liked it, make sure to like and reblog <3 feel free to talk to me as well, my inbox is always open!

I will start a taglist on my posts, to be part of it you just gotta comment/send an ask saying so, and most important: have your age in your profile (I don’t interact with minors!). See you guys next story! <3

[oasinoebe]

The Haymitch and Gale Post Nobody Asked For

Haymitch and Katniss share plenty of similarities, but I can't stop thinking about how Haymitch's circumstances/young Haymitch's personality reminds me more of Gale than Katniss.

Just like Katniss and Haymitch, Gale also belongs to a very poor family and he lost his father in the mines. He has younger sibling(s) that he loves dearly, and he hunts to sustain his family.

Like Haymitch, Gale's mom does laundry and is generally a more present mother than Mrs Everdeen. Being from the poorest part of the district, both Gale and Haymitch (understandably) have some underlying resentment towards the richer people from town, especially the two rich blonde girls who own a ridiculously expensive gold pin (in the sypnosis, Haymitch describes Maysilee as "the most stuck up girl from town"). I am so, so interested to see how Haymitch's perception of Maysilee changes, since we already know that they end up allying in the games.

Gale’s perception of Madge would also have obviously changed when/if he found out that she had run all the way to the Victor's village in the middle of a snowstorm to bring extremely expensive Capitol morphling that managed to ultimately save Gale's life by providing him relief from the pain. Not to mention that Gale was technically a lawbreaker in the eyes of the new Peacekeepers and if they ever found out that she had helped a "criminal", Madge could be severely punished, the fact that she was the Mayor's daughter not really mattering anymore.

Katniss did not have any such prejudices about town/seam, at least not to the extent Gale did. Her best friend is the richest person in D12.

Somehow, Haymitch's persona (at least in the interviews that Katniss saw in CF) reminds me more Gale than Katniss. Katniss is a very quiet, reserved kind of girl, while Gale and Haymitch seem somewhat cockier.

I think that as Haymitch gets older, he becomes much more like Katniss, in the sense that he is more disillusioned and less angry at the world in general. He is also more compassionate. He only voted for the 76th games to lure Coin into a false sense of security because he just KNEW that our girl Katniss had something up her sleeve. He knows her that well.

I wonder if Haymitch ever saw himself in Gale just like he saw himself in Katniss?

(These may or may not be the ramblings of a delusional Gadge shipper who used to have a Haysilee phase)

[extremely-judgemental]

Long Post

I was thinking about Silver Flames (because why have a good start to the year?) Anyway, there are a lot of discussions on Cassian’s and Rhysand’s behaviours, but what is going on with Azriel? He is the only one ‘kind’ to Nesta even when her sisters give up on her. He knows and understands her better than anyone, and later, he becomes her best friend. However, he also agrees with Inner Circle on her ostracism and imprisonment. It’s inaccurate to say he’s out of character since we know very little of him. We don’t have his POV to know his true intentions yet his actions are quite clear, and they are at odds with his identity.

Nesta’s imprisonment

If there is anyone to feel, at the very least, uncomfortable about confining Nesta for being an inconvenience, it should be Azriel. He spends the first eleven years of his life as a captive and is tortured by his half-brothers. He knows better what it is like to be punished without a reason, especially at the hands of one’s family, and its impact. The idea of imprisonment alone should be a tripwire for him, yet he plays a willing chaperone. Assuming Azriel can’t recognise this as abuse solely based on the circumstances, he should be alarmed to find a wounded (despite the fae healing) Nesta the following morning after she falls down the stairs. Whenever she gets a bruise outside training, it should make him question his brother because it’s what his own did to him when they were alone. Interestingly, the thought that Cassian might be the cause crosses his mind, although he is merely amused by it.

Cassian’s relationship with Morrigan

These two share a weird—if not deeply disturbing—relationship intended to hurt Azriel enough to distance him from Morrigan. And this doesn’t change even after one of them gets a mate. This should affect Azriel on so many levels. Cassian supposedly ruined his chance with the woman he loved (no one owes anyone anything here, but in this case, that should be his train of thought). Cassian is also the first among the two to get mated. 

Now, a mate is more sacred to Azriel than his brothers, and he has been yearning for one for centuries. During the solstice, Cassian and Morrigan exchange inappropriate gifts when everyone in the room is aware of the bond to some extent, except Nesta. Even if he doesn’t have proper experience with healthy romances, it must infuriate Azriel to watch Cassian disrespect the bond enough to flirt with another woman. It could have been an interesting moment for him to truly see his friends for who they are, and for his jealousy to morph into resentment towards Cassian for treating his mate essentially like a mistress. But he doesn’t show any signs of it.

Azriel is not just protecting the sanctity of the mating bond but his worthiness. When he sees anybody treat their mate poorly, it should drive him to act. It shouldn’t even be a question of whether he would choose this or his brother. It is often shown he doesn’t hesitate to go against even Rhysand, so why doesn’t he in this case? The core of his identity should trump his loyalty to his family.

Cassian’s relationship with Nesta 

The three brothers are raised in Illyria, where women are abused, mutilated, and their lives are controlled. They are supposedly superior to their kind who treat women better. And Azriel is said to be the most respectful as his mother’s suffering influenced him at a young age. Now, to see Nesta hurt under their care while her mate shows no concern should lead to him questioning Cassian’s character. 

Moreover, based on the importance of this bond in his life, Azriel will have certain expectations of how a mate is meant to be treated. For him, it doesn’t matter what kind of person the mate is since she/he is a blessing. He goes above and beyond for Morrigan and Elain for the flicker of hope that either might be his. Like Cassian, the mated relationships he witnesses are Rhysand’s parents and Rhysand with Feyre. He might have noticed stark differences in their treatments. He sees Rhysand threatening Nesta for simply not agreeing with his wishes, for things aren’t even a crime; Cassian disregarding Nesta’s wishes, mocking her, belittling her, not standing up when everyone is against her. And yet, Azriel supports every one of his choices.

For these reasons, his reaction during the Blood Rite is baffling. Azriel is the only one emotionally driven to consider Cassian’s fears and reckless enough to support him in retrieving Nesta. Instead, he consoles his brother.

If he recognised all of this, it’d explain why he cared for Nesta and how it developed into the understanding between the two. Honestly, I didn’t get the sense they were that close for Azriel to go bat-shit crazy at the bog when Nesta went missing. It felt so out of place from laughing at her bruises one day and then caring deeply for her the next. One minute he’s ready to attack Nesta for fighting with Elain, the next he is more relieved than Cassian to find her.

Azriel’s shadows

Aren’t they supposed to be sentient? Now, they are sort of an extension of Azriel, but they tend to react on their own irrespective of his feelings. We see that with their hiding around Morrigan and Elain while playing with Gwyneth. The shadows' reaction to these women is meant to be signs of the truth they can see but not Azriel—the truth he isn’t willing to accept. Why are they only expressive when his romantic prospects are concerned, but not the one thing that brought them together or invoked his ability in the first place? Shouldn’t they be disapproving of the whole imprisonment since it’s something Azriel suffered, even if he doesn’t want to equate the two, even when he’s repressing his trauma? It’s confusing and beats the point of sentience if they obey him when his entire being is constantly threatened.  

Sure, Azriel is creepy. But this is much worse—making his past and desire for a mating bond his whole personality for three books, his behaviour is completely ironic.

Everything Nesta is subjected to by the Inner Circle should be a stressor for him. It would be hard for Azriel to realise that the brothers who accepted him despite his past turned into abusers themselves. If it is one instance, it’s understandable why he would be too blind to it. But they pile over one another in a way he can’t just ignore them.

In his book, these will be addressed—his imprisonment, his relationship with his mother and half-brothers, his self-esteem, the impact of Morrigan and Cassian’s actions on him, and the mating bond tied to his worthiness. But since Azriel enabled Nesta’s poor treatment in House of Wind, this is going to seem to come from a place of entitlement and self-centredness; that these become an issue only when he faces it. 

I’ve never seen a narrative so biased against a character. The very foundation of Azriel is stripped in order to validate and justify Cassian’s (and Inner Circle’s) behaviour towards Nesta.

[bella-goths-wife]

“Meet the family”

Ghostbusters x reader

Warnings: illusions to suicide, reader is dead, strange mother daughter relationship, implied dysfunctional family

Egon has a very carefully planned out Monday, he has a rigid routine that few people he allows to disrupt.

First he wakes up and has his usual hearty breakfast of eggs and some kind of meat, unless he’s had Chinese takeout the night before, in which case he’ll eat the leftovers. Next he quizzes himself with some brain challenging puzzles to keep his brain functioning and active.

After that he’ll arrive at the ghostbusters headquarters at exacting 8:15AM, go on a few jobs, usually around three which will take him to 9PM. At that time he will head down to his lab, do a few experiments before fruitlessly trying to communicate with your spiritual being.

Yes, Egon Spengler rarely let anyone disrupt his perfectly planned out Monday morning routine.

But this strange woman waiting outside ghostbusters headquarters certainly managed to disrupt it, especially when she claimed to be your mother.

———————————————————————-

Egon wasn’t sure what to make of your mother as he offered her a seat at the desk.

She didn’t look like you, from the rare photo he found of you or your ghostly apparition. While your mother was a stubby little woman with a pinched sour expression and a penchant for scowling, your face was like a fox’s with how your smile perked up on your lips and your eyes held a unique light to them.

“Landlord said her boyfriend picked up her stuff” your mother said with a grim look as she pulled out one of her cigarettes, not the elegant kind that most ladies these days used, but the musky smelling ones that usually accompanied established gentlemen in the drawing rooms of their expensive homes “said you took all of it home”

“Yes ma’am” Egon says with a cautious nod as he tried to analyse how this conversation would go “I didn’t realise her family wanted it”

“So you assumed” your mother said quickly with a slight scoff “you couldn’t have called first?”

Egon is taken aback by the woman’s words as his eyes narrowed, wondering what this woman’s intentions were.

“With all due respect ma’am” Egon started as your mother smoked her cigarette “her things had been in storage for well over a month, I assumed she didn’t have any family”

The woman stilled slightly before puffing out smoke with an almost empty expression. This wasn’t a woman who looked like she was wracked with grief, nor did she look like she was happy with the circumstances. The woman just looked vague, with no discernible emotion behind her well put together look and her unmoving mountain of makeup purposely put on to hide the effects that aging had on her body.

“She had something of mine within her belongings, a small locket that was my mothers” your mother spoke stiffly with a tense look as she smoked “I’d hoped she’d give it to her children one day, though I don’t suppose that’s happening anymore”

The brief opening of a vulnerable side was shown like a fast moving slideshow, and Egon knew he’d have to work fast to get anything more out of her.

“Was she your only child?” Egon asked calmly, an analysing look in his eyes as he tried to spot weakness

“Her father had a few more somewhere along the line, but she was the only one in wedlock” the woman sniffed in an almost disgusted manner “rightly so that she was the best one out of the bunch”

“I see” Egon says with a taken aback expression, he’s about to speak again but he’s quickly cut off

“Can you bring her stuff out here” the woman asks almost impatiently “I want to find my locket”

Egon nods with a sigh, this woman wouldn’t get him anywhere in finding out more about you. All she was after was her own little material items.

———————————————————————-

The woman shuffled through the boxes that Egon had brought out, hands working almost softly as she grazed them over your various items.

Egon had expected her to treat your items roughly in an attempt to salvage her lost locket, but the way your mother went through your things was almost ritualistic.

She skimmed her fingers over the letters of each of your various awards, reading each one slowly and carefully as if recreating the memory within her mind.

“What was she like?” Egon asked to cut through the tense silence, breaking your mother out her trance as she let go of your awards “when she was younger”

Your mother lets herself think for a moment, almost having to use a considerable amount of effort into making sure she phrased it right

“She was a fidgety child, never stayed in one place for too long” the woman speaks in a hushed tone “her teachers said it was due to her being unchallenged for her intellectual level, that everyday living bored her”

Egon nods thoughtfully as the woman speaks, looking through the various boxes for her locket. Taking in as much information as possible

“She excelled in everything she did, with some pushing from her father and I” the woman explains with a melancholy look “she had the same problem as me really”

“What’s that?” Egon asks curiously as he helped the woman search

“She was born knowing too much” the woman says with a heavy sigh “ignorance can help people escape the dreary aspects of life, she wasn’t able to do that so she’d cause trouble instead”

In that moment, realisation dawned upon Egon. All your mischievous actions and your games weren’t out of malice but out of boredom, at least before them trapping you it was.

You were intellectually stuck in life and in death with no real challenges to cure your eternal boredom, that’s why the ghostbusters attention had been such a respite for you.

And they had punished you for it the moment you had made a mistake.

“I heard from the landlord that she died quickly” your mother spoke quietly as she held onto a prize ribbon for a highschool chess tournament “she was always in such a rush to reach the next goal”

There was a considerable silence that hung heavy in the air as Egon tried to digest her words, to understand them.

The silence ended as the woman’s fake nails tapped against the metal of the newly retrieved locket that laid in her hands, the fine metal work and the small encrusted jewel showing Its extraordinary value.

The woman clutched the locket close to her heart before placing it around her neck, putting it in the same position as you wore it in so many of your photos.

“I brought something” the woman said almost hesitantly as her hand disappeared into her purse before pulling out a small, old stuffed bunny toy “I found it in her old room, I wanted to give it to her but I’m not sure where her remains are”

Egon inspected the bunny toy in his hands and looked at the pure white fur as if it was another piece of the puzzle slotting itself together

“She’s had since she was a baby, it was the only thing that calmed her down from crying” the woman said with a far away look in her eyes “please make sure it’s put with her grave”

“I will” Egon says with a sympathetic look and a quick nod

The woman gets up to take her leave, leaving behind the rest of your belongings. She turns to look at Egon one more time as her mouth opens hesitantly

“My daughter was brilliant in every way” she admits quietly “I think that’s what drove her too it in the end”

And with that the woman left Egon alone with thousands of thoughts swimming in his head.

———————————————————————

You had trashed his lab again that evening, out of anger.

You had seen your mother enter the building but the cowardly part of you that was still human refused to go into the room where she talked with Egon.

Instead all of your resentment was taken out on egons lab equipment, at least the stuff he hadn’t moved out of it to avoid your wrath.

Egon only sighed when he saw your mess, knowing you were in the room only by the temperature drop alone.

Usually he would fit a scolding into his tight fit schedule, but not tonight.

You observed him and his distracted state before watching as he placed something on the slab in the middle of his lab.

Your eyes zero in on the bunny and a flurry of emotions spin around your head like a tornado and you swore that if you’d had a heart still it would be beating out of your chest.

Egon observed motionlessly as your translucent figure became visible and slowly clutched the bunny toy, similar to how your mother had with the locket.

Egon spun around and walked out the room, deciding to give you some well earned privacy. He decided it was time he looked through the rest of your things

Time to figure out exactly who the little ghost the ghostbusters had caught was.

[justatypicalwizard]

[Giyuu is in love with you but you had to marry Sanemi] angst

Giyuu was never one to express his emotions, to let them reflect as if his face was a mirror. That's why, despite watching the woman he loved get tied by the sacred knot to another man, he didn't move a muscle.

You were only a servant, a poor, lost soul tossed around the whirlpool of life, thrown into the Oyakata mansion by fate to wipe the floor and rinse the rice at dusk. You were your weak and soft self when the demon attacked you on your way from town. You were still crying and shaking when the demon crumbled to dust, the piece of flesh from your arm fell from its disappearing mouth. You couldn't focus your eyes even though Giyuu kept you tight to his body, running towards the mansion.

It took a few nights of Shinobu's meticulous research to find out the power of your blood. The next few missions only proved the thesis further. Whatever pumped through your veins was poisonous for demons, even a small splatter left sizzling spots on their skin.

As always Oyakata had only one purpose - humankind.

It didn't come as a surprise to the others when a marriage proposal was set. Giyuu could never imagine a world where a small and vulnerable servant would disobey her master, especially if the matter was so urgent. So, when he heard that you agreed to all the terms of your new mission and life purpose, not even a sigh escaped his lips. What better could you do?

The way in which you peaked at Sanemi Shinazugawa whenever he came into vision had something fearful in it. It also held a dose of a different feeling, something warmer. Giyuu looked at thousands of terrified faces, he knew fear well enough to smell it from a mile. Happiness on the other hand. Could you be happy?

After a few months your expression changed. The look of your doe like eyes was no longer laced with fear. Did you get used to Shinazugawa? Can someone even get used to him or were you simply lying?

The fair haired man was a brute at his best, a monster at his worst. And yet, it was his idea to take you as a wife. Something about not wanting to leave a woman's honour stained and a bunch of children fatherless or at least that's what he seemed to say one night during training.

If someone would ask Giyuu, there was no love in Sanemi's eyes when he mentioned you. There was no joy in his voice when he reported to Oyakata saying you're pregnant. There was no difference between how he spoke about a group of trainees and you.

Somehow, you still managed to put a smile on your face. Was his treatment enough to satisfy you? Did you throw yourself into the role of a wife and mother, not thinking about the unfortunate circumstances, about the lack of choice, the dryness of these emotions. Were you fine without love in your life? Of course you would love your children but who would love you?

Giyuu's thoughts cost a few demons their heads. He sliced and cut, easing out his anger, letting it drip with his sweat, leaving his system.

Soon, he started to miss the anger, it was easier than what he heard.

It was after you gave birth to a small yet healthy boy with hair as fair as the moon's cheeks. The baby was brought before Oyakata who looked at it as if it was a precious treasure. They were just talking about trying out the baby's blood, as it gets a bit older, when the child started to cry. The few other Hashira and Oyakata's wife tried to calm the tiny boy but the tears wouldn't stop rolling. Shinazugawa kept still, only looking at the baby wriggling and kicking in his hands.

Your quiet footsteps were heard only by Giyuu but as you walked past him, you didn't even spare him a glance, too entranced with your crying child.

Shinazugawa looked like he wanted to say something but ultimately decided against it, handing you the child. After a while the crying eased and the boy was lulled to sleep by your quiet murmurs.

“He's hungry.” You said more to yourself than to others.

Oyakata left after a few more words and a promise to keep up to which Sanemi and you nodded, your head bouncing back and forth with the force of a person fighting for their dream. The Hashira left shortly after, every beside Giyuu who disguised his true intentions, lying about meditation and a further meeting with another Hashira in a moment. Truthly he just wanted a glance at the kid, at the fruit of your (and his) work. So when you and Sanemi started to talk, he could hear everything as clear as day.

“I told you to rest.”

“The baby was crying.”

“I can handle.”

You kept silent for a second.

“Sanemi-” So you called him by his first name. “-thank you.”

He didn't answer. Instead the sound of a short breath reached Giyuu's ears. It ached to turn around, to see when the brute did to you. Grab your arm? Look at you with those hateful eyes? Turn his back to you? Punish you for stepping up?

Finally, Giyuu felt thankful he did not turn. Another sound came forth, the sound of a kiss.

It was easier to bear when he convinced himself you were unhappy. It was easier to picture Shinazugawa as a monster who used you at night and left you in the morning. It was easier to treat it as a mission from Oyakata. Every lie Giyuu fed himself was easier than looking at your eyes, fixed upon another man's face, filled to the brim with love.

[scarletqueenx]

chapter one - lazarus rising

Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Summary: After a few months dating, Dean abandoned you in a motel room without giving you any explanation, years later his brother and he saved you from a demon and now you hunt with them discovering every day new mysteries about your family and the destiny that awaits you. Heaven, hell, demons, angels, vampires, witches and much more.

A/N: English is not my first language. This is my first time writing in the readers perspective, as i'm used to write oc´s.

series masterlist

Time passed, but for you everything froze at the very moment your eyes met Dean's lifeless body. The shock of losing Dean had hit you hard, more that you had imagine, and you found yourself moving through life on autopilot, simply going through the motions of each day without truly living.

At first, you tried to be there for Sam, to be there for him in what you knew were the worst days of his life. You also tried to stand by your father and your worried little brother side. You tried to help Carter, Maddie and Harper get their lives back to normal. But every second that passed was like a dagger of pain piercing your body.

Two weeks after Dean's death, you disappeared. You left without a word. You received millions of calls from your family, Maddie and Bobby but they all ended up on voicemail.

You tried to keep busy by hunting and not think about the pain that constantly weighed down on you. But no matter what you did, the pain was always there, a constant, dull ache in your chest.

You couldn't breathe.

The days were endless and agonizing, so much that you found yourself withdrawing more and more, isolating yourself from the world and from others. You didn't want to be around people who were happy and carefree; it only made your own suffering much more unbearable.

Nightmares haunted you every night, replaying the image of Dean's lifeless body in your mind over and over. It was a torturous cycle, one that left you feeling weak and shaken to your core. But it wasn't only the dreams that haunted you.

Lilith's possession of your body and mind had left its mark. Even now, you could feel the demon's presence lingering within you, a constant reminder of the evil that had touched you.

The world seemed to lose its color, fading into shades of gray. Every sight, sound, and feeling was tainted by sadness, and the only way you felt you could cope with it was to drown your tears in alcohol. It was the only thing that brought you any comfort. At night, as you closed your eyes, you hoped that your dreams would transport you to a better place, a world where Dean was still alive and by your side.

You fell into a routine. Hunt, sleep, drink and repeat. All while looking for some way to bring Dean back to life.

Meanwhile, trying to adjust to the routine of living with his father, away from his sister and Maddie, Peter was trying his best to reach out to them. Maddie had decided to sell her mother's house and, following Bobby's invitation to stay with him, was now helping the hunter with research. You barely answered your phone, if you weren't hunting or drinking, you were sleeping or just didn't want to talk to anyone.

Harper was another mystery to the boy, the mystery in which he had decided to refuge in the absence of his older sister and the shock of discovering that he also had an older brother. Carter had disappeared from the map after that night, so Peter had only Harper to rely on.

It wasn't just curiosity that drove Peter's interest in Harper, but also a deep sense of empathy. After all, he understood what it was like to be a young person trying to find his place in the world, especially in such unusual circumstances. But he couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to her story than met the eye.

Harper Kenner, daughter of Grant Kenner, had lived nearly fifteen years trapped within herself, without aging more than a couple of years and unable to control her own body and mind. That would leave its mark on anyone. Peter longed to know what supernatural being had possessed her. His initial theory had been a demon, but the compassion she exuded and her apparent powers didn't align with typical demonic behavior.

Now Harper lived with Bobby and Maddie, hiding under a different name and trying to make sense of everything that had happened to her over the past years. While also trying to grasp what her father's death while possessed by the demon Dorian meant to her and her now new life.

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

September 18th, 4 Months After Dean's Death

A new day awaited while you were still asleep, curled up in that musty motel room. The bed was particularly comfortable compared to the other motels you'd been in, but that hadn't helped for your night to be peaceful and free of nightmares.

When the harsh sunlight hit your face, you woke up grunting and wincing. Your head ached from the alcohol you had consumed the previous night, and every one of your senses felt heightened and painful. You knew you had a tough hunt ahead of you, but all you wanted to do was stay in bed and ignore the world. Still, you knew from experience that trying to rest would only bring memories of Dean to your mind. So, despite your wishes, you forced yourself out of bed and stumbled towards the bathroom to take a hot shower.

The coffee at the motel wasn't the best, but it did its job of waking you up completely so you could get to work on that case involving a nest of vampires. You had been chasing them for several weeks from Florida, to Nashville, Tennessee, when you finally felt you could take them down once and for all.

You sat at the small table in your room, looking over everything you had researched as you finished your cup of black coffee and prepared your weapons. It was the ringing of your phone that brought you out of your thoughts. Thinking it was Peter, you didn't even bother to look its screen as you ignored the call, but when it rang once again, you decided to answer as you let out a sigh.

"What is it?" Your voice came out sharp and full of annoyance, but there was also a trace of concern. You didn't want to be bothered, but if it was an emergency and your brother was in danger, you would leave everything for him.

However, no one answered on the other end of the line. The only thing you could make out was the shaky sound of someone's breathing.

"Hello?" Confused, you pulled the device away from your ear to look at the caller. It wasn't your brother, your father or anyone you knew, it was a completely unknown number. Frowning, you spoke once again. "Hello?"

The lack of response from the other end of the line only increased your unease. In a burst of anxiety, you ended the call without a second thought.

Barely a minute later, that unfamiliar phone number called you again. With your jacket on and ready to go hunting, you answered in exasperation.

"Listen, if this is a joke, it's not funny. Stop calling me or I swear I'll come after you." You stated firmly before hanging up.

The person on the other end stared at the phone in astonishment at your aggressiveness.

Surely you weren't the only person Dean had called from that empty gas station after waking up in his own grave in the middle of a perfect circle of dead trees, laying on the ground as if an unearthly powerful blast had felled them. But at least with Bobby he had managed to open up and tell him what had happened, but the man hadn't believed a single one of his words.

Upset with himself for not being able to talk to you and frustrated that Bobby didn't believe him, Dean found himself forced to steal a car to travel to Sioux Falls, where Bobby's house was located.

Things there were very different compared to how Dean remembered them. Bobby's house used to be an uncrowded place. Bobby hardly had any visitors or guests other than the Winchesters, but now Maddie and Harper occupied his only other bedroom. Having them with him was like a breath of fresh air despite the hard time the hunter was going through with Dean's death and yours and Sam's departures. Bobby didn't have children, but those two girls were certainly becoming his family.

On top of that, Peter had shown up at his door the night before, backpack over his shoulder and a tired expression on his face. The Holloway boy had run away from home, tired of watching his father lock himself in his office and practically ignore him to avoid the big elephant in the room which he still hadn't wanted to talk to him about his brother Carter.

Maddie's food had improved Bobby's eating. He could cook, but if it weren't for her love of photography, Maddie might as well be a chef. Meals were also the only time Harper talked to them at all, since most of the time she was quiet, lost in thought or reading one of Bobby's supernatural lore books.

Due to the long trip from San Francisco, Peter had spent the morning sleeping in, missing even lunchtime. When he finally awoke, overcome by a nightmare, Peter descended the stairs. The house fell into an uneasy silence, sending a shiver down his spine with each step he took.

"Bobby? Maddie?" He called, peering into the kitchen, which was impeccably clean and empty. "Bobby?" He called once more, walking into the living room. "Don't ask me why, but I think my sister needs our help."

Peter stood speechless as he walked up to the entrance of the house. There was no sign of Maddie and Harper, and Bobby seemed too calm considering the other person there. Across from the young Holloway stood Dean Winchester, in the flesh, and breathing.

"I thought you were supposed to be in a pine box?" Peter stared at him in shock, eyes narrowed and body slightly tense. Dean couldn't help but chuckle at his playful comment. He hated to say it, but he had missed Peter's smart-ass comments and their little bickering relationship.

"Yeah, it surprised me too." Dean admitted, turning back to Bobby. "You had to bury me, really?"

"I wanted you salted and burned. Usual drill. But... Sam wouldn't have it." Bobby explained.

Dean nodded as he looked back at Peter, who was scrutinizing him with his eyes while tilting his head to the side.

"How do we know you're not a demon or a shapeshifter or a...?"

"He already passed all the tests." Bobby said, cutting him off.

"All?" Peter raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah, all."

"It's me, kid." Dean assured him.

"If that's true, then we should tell my sister."

"Yeah, sounds good." Dean nodded, not wanting to wait another second to see you. "What were you saying about her needing help, by the way?"

Peter shrugged.

"I don't know. I just woke up with this strange feeling."

"Let's take it one step at a time." Bobby said, walking into the living room. "Dean. Your chest was ribbons, your insides were slop. And you've been buried four months. Even if you could slip out of hell and back into your meat suit-"

"I know, I should look like a Thriller video reject." Dean noted. Peter chuckled as Bobby nodded.

"What do you remember?"

"Not much." Dean shrugged. "I remember I was a Hellhound's chew toy, and then... lights out. Then I come to six feet under, that was it. Sam's number's not working. He's, uh... he's not..."

"Oh, he's alive. As far as I know." Bobby sat down.

"Good... Wait, what do you mean, as far as you know?"

"I haven't talked to him for months."

"You're kidding, you just let him go off by himself?"

"He was dead set on it."

"Bobby, you should've been looking after him."

"I tried. These last months haven't been exactly easy, you know. For any of us." Bobby looked down. "He was quiet. Real quiet. And then he just took off. Wouldn't return my calls. I tried to find him, but he didn't want to be found."

"Same with my sister." Peter added.

Dean's face fell as he took in the words. His heart ached as he thought about you, struggling alone and refusing any help. He couldn't imagine what you must have gone through, how much pain and confusion you must have felt. The thought of you struggling and alone, not wanting to be found... it was almost too painful to bear.

He felt a pang of guilt and regret for being gone, for not being there for you. He could only hope that now that he was back he could find a way to make it up to you somehow.

Still, Dean tried his best to shake off the flood of emotions that had come over him at the mention of your struggles. Right now, his priority was Sam. He needed to find him and make sure that he was safe.

"Oh, damnit, Sammy." He muttered.

"What?" Bobby looked up at him.

"I don't know what he did for me to be back, but whatever he did, it is bad mojo."

"What makes you so sure?" Peter frowned.

"You should have seen the grave site. It was like a nuke went off. And then there was this... this force, this presence, I don't know, but it, it blew past me at a fill-up joint. And then this." He added, stripping off his jacket to roll up his sleeve and reveal the handprint burn on his left shoulder.

Peter's eyes widened as Bobby stood up.

"What in the hell?" The man asked.

"It was like a demon just yanked me out. Or rode me out." Dean explained.

"But why?" Peter asked, confused. That didn't sound like the topical demon behavior.

"To hold up their end of the bargain." Dean answered.

"You think Sam made a deal." Bobby assumed,

"It's what I would have done." Dean admitted.

Minutes later, Peter sat on the porch of the house with a comic book in his hands. His attention however wasn't on the comic but on Harper, who now sat in one of the cars in the junkyard reading another of Bobby's books.

She and Maddie had returned from running errands shortly after Dean had shown up. Their reactions were completely different. Harper didn't know Dean, but she knew he had been a sore subject at Bobby's house. Maddie had barely spent any time with him, but during her time as Peter's babysitter she had grown very fond of you and the two hunters, especially knowing how much they meant to you.

Maddie's caring nature and empathy made her drop the shopping bags all at once and throw herself into Dean's arms to wrap him in a tight hug. The girl couldn't help but think how happy his return would make Sam and you, also selfishly hoping the two of you would get back in touch.

When the door behind him opened, Peter rose quickly to his feet, directing his gaze toward the two men now descending the porch steps.

"Did you find Sam?" He asked. Dean nodded.

"Sam's in Pontiac, Illinois."

"Isn't that where you...?

"Yeah, right where I popped up." Dean replied as he walked behind Bobby toward his car. "Hell of a coincidence, don't you think?"

"I wasn't going to say that, but it's certainly weird." Peter said, putting away his comic book. "I'm going with you."

Dean stopped in his tracks, turning on his heels to look at him. Peter looked so much like you it hurt to have him in front of him. The memory of your voice echoed in his head, reminding him of the pain and exhaustion in your tone.

"I don't think that's a good idea. Maddie offered, but you and Harper are better off here."

"You don't even know Harper. You don't know what happened that night. We can handle whatever happens." Peter assured him.

"You'd help more by finding out what the hell possessed Harper."

"As if we haven't been looking for that the last four months." Peter snorted in annoyance.

"Then find your sister." Dean pleaded, holding him by the shoulders. Peter took a deep breath of air, ready to argue, but the look Dean was giving him was a completely new one. Dean used to display this arrogance and that easygoing attitude, but now that look was completely gone and it had turned into one of desperation. Peter couldn't say no.

"Fine." The boy agreed.

Dean sighed with relief.

"Thanks, kid." Dean cracked a smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

Peter nodded in silence as he watched him go.

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

The reunion with his brother wasn't what Dean had expected. He was taken aback to find a half-naked girl accompanying Sam in his motel room. Dean's joy at reuniting with his brother was tainted by his concern for him and the dangerous and reckless act he had likely performed to bring him back to life.

And for Sam, even after Bobby had assured him that the tests had confirmed it was really Dean, he couldn't shake off his confusion.

"So tell me, what'd it cost?" Dean asked, standing above him, arms crossed as Sam sat down.

Sam smiled, taken aback by his question.

"The girl? I don't pay, Dean."

"That's not funny, Sam." Dean replied. "To bring me back. What'd it cost? Was it just your soul, or was it something worse?"

"You think I made a deal?" Sam frowned.

"That's exactly what we think." Bobby nodded.

"Well, I didn't."

"Don't lie to me." Dean asked, looking at him with suspicious.

"I'm not lying." He scoffed.

Despite his insistence, Dean didn't quite believe his words.

"So what now, I'm off the hook and you're on, is that it? You're some demon's bitch-boy?" Dean asked, walking towards him. "I didn't want to be saved like this."

"Look, Dean, I wish I had done it, all right?" Sam stood up, angrily.

Upset and confused, believing his brother was lying to him, Dean grabbed him by the front of his shirt.

"There's no other way that this could have gone down. Now tell the truth!"

"I tried everything." Sam assured him, breaking Dean's grip. "That's the truth. I tried opening the Devil's Gate. Hell, I tried to bargain, Dean, but no demon would deal, all right? You were rotting in Hell for months. For months, and I couldn't stop it. So I'm sorry it wasn't me, all right? Dean, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Sammy." Dean took a step back, believing his brother. "You don't have to apologize, I believe you."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm gladdened that Sam's soul remains intact, but it does raise a sticky question." Bobby spoke.

"If he didn't pull me out, then what did?" Dean said.

Taking a deep breath, Sam sat back down and asked them if they had talked to you.

Bobby and Dean share a look and shook their heads.

"She wouldn't have made a deal." Dean assured.

Sam chuckled.

"She was even more determined than me to do so. It hadn't past even a few hours before she started looking for ways to get you back."

Dean sighed.

"So, what? We have to travel all the way out to California?"

"No need. She disappeared two weeks after you died. She's been driving around the country focused on hunting all kinds of supernatural beings. And her father's nearby, as a matter of fact. He has a conference in Chicago on Greek mythology tomorrow. Maybe he knows where she is." Bobby told them.

"We can also call her." Dean suggested. "She answered my call yesterday."

"So you did talk to her." Sam noted with a frown.

"Not exactly." Dean replied. "I... Bobby didn't believe me and when I heard her on the other end of the line... She didn't sound like herself."

"If she'd gotten you out of hell she'd be expecting a call from you." Bobby said. "Maybe it was something else or someone else that got you out of there."

"Yeah, right. What?"

Bobby shrugged. "Don't know. But maybe she could help us. Henry must know where to find her."

"I doubt it." Sam said. "I called a week ago, Peter answered, but he assured me they hadn't heard from her for about a month."

"I asked him to look for her while we were here. Maybe he found something or got in touch with her." Dean noted.

"Okay, I'm on it." Bobby nodded, pulling out his phone to call Peter.

"So what were you doing around here if you weren't digging me out of my grave?" Dean looked back at his brother.

"Well, once I figured out I couldn't save you, I started hunting down Lilith, trying to get some payback." Sam explained.

"All by yourself. Who do you think you are, your old man?" Bobby glared at Sam.

"Uh, yeah, I'm sorry, Bobby. I should have called. I was pretty messed up." Sam sighed. "Anyways, uh, I was checking these demons out of Tennessee, and out of nowhere they took a hard left, booked up here."

"When?"

"Yesterday morning."

"When I busted out." Dean sighed.

"You think these demons are here 'cause of you?" Bobby asked.

"But why?" Sam asked.

"Well, I don't know – some badass demon drags me out and now this? It's gotta be connected somehow."

"How you feelin', anyway?" Bobby looked back at him with concern.

"I'm a little hungry." Dean shrugged.

"No, I mean, do you feel like yourself? Anything strange, or different?"

"Or demonic?" Dean raised his eyebrows. "Bobby, how many times do I have to prove I'm me?"

"Yeah. Well, listen. No demon's letting you loose out of the goodness of their hearts. They've gotta have something nasty planned."

"Well, I feel fine." Dean assured.

"Okay, look, we don't know what they're planning. We got a pile of questions and no shovel. We need help." Sam noted.

"Maybe we can do something about that." Maddie spoke through the phone, for she had been listening to their conversation since Bobby had called. "It's good to hear your voice again, Sam."

Sam smiled slightly at the sound of the girl's voice.

"Same here, Mads."

Dean looked at his brother before asking if they had heard form you.

"No, but Peter can find her." Maddie answered.

"I've been studying magic behind my dad's back with some of his books, I think I can do a quick and easy locator spell." The boy explained.

Dean shifted uncofortable. The idea of using magic, good or bad, wasn't really something he liked.

"I don't know... Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I just need something from her or her blood and I've got both, so."

"This is a really bad idea." Harper muttered in the distance.

"If you don't like it you can always call your friend." Peter said in annoyance.

"How many times do I have to tell you she's not my friend?" Harper complained.

"Surely you care about her or you would have told us who and what the hell she is by now. She possessed your body for years, you have to know who she was."

"I told you it's not important. Forget it."

"Forget it?" The boy scoffed. "Lilith possessed my sister that night, I found out I had a brother and that a demon was the one who killed my mother. I can't forget, Harper, that being was the only one who tried and helped me."

"That being let my father die at your brother's hands after promising to protect us." She argued, annoyed at his insistence. Dean, Sam and Bobby couldn't help but share a glance at her response. It was the first time in four months that Harper had said anything about who had possessed her and it certainly wasn't what they had expected.

"Demons lie, Harper, shocker." Peter rolled his eyes.

"It wasn't a demon."

"So what was it?" He looked back at her.

"Will you two stop arguing?" Maddie complained before Harper could said anything else. "It doesn't matter now. Peter, find your sister."

"Okay." The boy nodded.

"It matters if she knows who got me out of hell." Dean said. "Harper..."

"I told you I don't know anything." She interrupted him.

"If she didn't keep her promise, why are you protecting her?" Maddie frowned, looking back at Harper.

"I'm not. It's just..."

"I got it." Peter interrupted her, gaining everyone's attention. "She's in Nashville, Tennessee."

"Didn't you just say you were in Tennessee chasing some demons?" Dean turned to his brother.

"I was, but not in Nashville. She must be there hunting something else."

"There are records of people missing around Nashville." Maddie announced, looking at her laptop. "It looks like a vampire case. Several hospitals are reporting loss of blood supplies and people with piercing wounds on their necks."

"I know a psychic. A few hours from Nashville." Bobby spoke. "Something this big, maybe she's heard the other side talking."

"Hell yeah, it's worth a shot." Dean nodded.

"I'll be right back" Bobby said, taking his phone before exiting the room.

Finding himself alone with his brother, Sam finally decided to ask him the question that he had been pondering since their reunion.

"Hey Dean, what was it like?" Sam tried to remain calm and not sound insistent as he looked back at Dean.

"What, Hell?" Dean asked. Sam nodded. "I don't know, I, I must have blacked it out. I don't remember a damn thing."

"Well, thank God for that." Sam sighed.

"Yeah." Dean replied looking down. "There's still one thing that's bothering me."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, the night that I bit it. Or... got bit." He chuckled at his own wit. "How'd you make it out? I thought Lilith was going to kill you."

"Well, she tried. She couldn't." Sam answered.

"What do you mean, she couldn't?" Dean frowned.

"She fired this, like, burning light at me, and... didn't leave a scratch. Like I was immune or something."

"Immune?"

"Yeah. I don't know who was more surprised, her or me. She left pretty fast after that." Sam said before explaining everything about Lilith possessing you and scaring Ophelia of when she saw Lilith in your body.

"That's odd."

"Yeah." He sighed.

"How did she take it?" Dean asked with concern.

"I don't know. She didn't say anything to me. You should ask Peter, but I think she's been distant even with him these last few months."

Dean nodded as his concern for you only seemed to grow by the second.

"Huh. What about Ruby, where is she?" Dean asked after a few seconds.

"Dead. For now."

Dean bit his lower lip, as if he wasn't sure whether he wanted ask the next question.

"So you've been using your, uh, freaky ESP stuff?"

Sam turned back to him, confuse.

"No." He assured.

"You sure about that?" Dean raised his eyebrows. "Well, I mean, now that you've got... immunity, whatever the hell that is... just wondering what other kind of weirdo crap you've got going on."

"Nothing, Dean. Look, you didn't want me to go down that road, so I didn't go down that road. It was practically your dying wish."

"Yeah, well, let's keep it that way."

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

Bobby stood in front of your motel room, next to him, leaning against the wall were Sam and Dean, each feeling a mixture of anticipation and nervousness as Bobby finally knocked on the door. After a few moments, it creaked open, revealing you—disheveled and battered—on the other side.

Seeing him, your eyes widened in confusion. "Bobby. How... How did you find me?" You whispered.

"Peter tracked you down." He answered. "We need to talk."

Your shoulders slumped slightly, and you leaned against the doorframe.

"We have nothing to talk about." You said, crossing your arms on your chest. "I told you I needed time."

"I heard you, but things have changed."

"What do you...?" Your words trailed off as Sam appeared next to Bobby. Your confusion quickly turned to disbelief, especially as your gaze landed on the green-eyed man next to him. "Dean?" You mumbled.

Dean took a step forward, his eyes drinking in the sight of you. He reached out a hand hesitantly, as if trying to convince himself that you were really there. Dean tried to take another step forward, his eyes pleading you to believe him, but your gaze narrowed.

"Don't come any closer." You warned, your voice hoarse from disuse as you took a step back.

Dean froze, his outstretched hand hovering in the air.

"It's me." He said, his voice laced with heartbreak.

Your breath hitched, and your eyes widened with disbelief. "That's impossible." You whispered, your voice laced with shock. "You're dead."

Bobby and Sam watched anxiously as the tension thickened in the air. Dean took another tentative step forward, desperation in his eyes.

"I was." He gulped, his voice hoarse. "I woke up in my on grave two days ago. I don't know how or why, but I'm here. It's me."

Your breathing grew ragged, your body shaking with a mixture of emotions. You leaned heavily against the doorframe, your eyes flickering over Dean's face and body as if searching for some sign that he was lying.

"How?" You asked, your voice cracking. "How is this possible?"

"We don't know yet. We were actually hoping that you would have some idea on how." Bobby replied.

"You think I made a deal?" You raised your eyebrows, looking back at him. "No. I... I tried, God knows I did, but they wouldn't have it."

Sam and Bobby shared a look at your response as you continued to watch Dean with doubt in your eyes. Dean looked back at you, noticing your clear exhaustion defined by the dark circles under your eyes.

Suddenly, your expression hardened, and you pushed yourself upright, your body tense and alert. "Prove it." You then spit. "Prove that you're really you."

Dean's eyebrows furrowed in confusion and hurt at your hostile tone, but he understood your distrust. He raised his hands, palms up, in a gesture of surrender. "How?" He asked gently. "What can I do to prove it?"

Sam and Bobby exchanged worried glances as they watched the standoff. Your eyes flicked from them back to Dean. "Tell me something only you would know." You asked.

Dean let out a breath, wracking his brain for something you and him had shared that would convince you he was truly him. After a moment, he spoke. "You have a tiny scar on your right hip, shaped like a star." He said quietly. "You got it when you were five and fell off a swing."

Your eyes widened in shock, and your tough exterior wavered for a moment. You remembered the accident vividly and had never told anyone but him about the scar. The realization that only the real Dean could know something that personal rattled you. But still, you weren't fully convinced.

Dean seized on the flicker of uncertainty in your eyes, taking another slow step forward.

"And your favorite movie is Dead Poets Society." He said gently. "You cry every time you watch it."

"He passed all the tests. It's really him." Bobby assured you.

Tears welled up in your eyes as the memory of watching the movie together came flooding back to you. You had never told anyone that either. Dean's words hit you like a freight train, and your defenses crumbled slightly.

Dean took another couple of steps toward you, his expression earnest. "Please, sweetheart." He pleaded. "You know me. You know it's really me. I don't know how or why I'm back, but I am. I'm here, and I'm real, and I'm not going anywhere. Not ever again."

Your eyes flickered over his face, your heart at war with your head. Seeing and hearing him after thinking he was dead for so long was overwhelming and impossible to comprehend. But the details he had given you, things only you and him knew, they were undeniable proof he was telling the truth.

You took a shaky breath, your voice barely more than a whisper. "It's really you?"

Dean nodded, his own eyes glistened with unshed tears. Tears barely perceptible, except you. "It's really me."

Unable to hold back any longer, you rushed forward and threw yourself into his arms, hugging him fiercely. Dean stumbled back a step, but he quickly recovered and wrapped his arms around your trembling figure.

You buried your face in his chest, inhaling his familiar scent, trying to convince yourself that he was truly there. For a moment, all was silent except for the sound of your shaky breathing and the steady thump of his heartbeat.

Bobby and Sam felt relief as they watched the emotional reunion unfold before them.

Dean held you tight, his own emotions swirling in his chest. He buried his face in your hair, breathing in your scent. As you pulled back, your eyes roamed over his face as if memorizing every detail. A mixture of shock and joy danced in your gaze.

"How is this possible?" You asked, your hands still gripping the fabric of his shirt tightly. "You were gone. I saw your body... I mourned you. How are you here?"

Dean's expression darkened as he remembered the strange circumstances of his resurrection. "I don't know." He replied. "Believe me, I've been trying to figure it out since waking up. But, either way, I'm glad I'm back."

A smile tugged at your lips as you replied. "Me too."

Dean pulled back further, suddenly noticing the injuries on your skin and the exhaustion etched into your features. His hands dropped to your sides, and a frown tugged at his lips.

"You look tired." He murmured, his voice soft. "And wounded. What happened to you?"

Having been caught up in the intensity of the reunion, you suddenly became aware of the stinging pain in your own body. You winced as you shifted your weight. You sighed and let your hands slide from his waist, but you kept your gaze fixed on him.

"I'm fine." You said, though he could tell you were lying. Sam and Bobby exchanged knowing glances, silently cursing themselves for not having noticed your injuries earlier. You caught their looks and shrugged, attempting to downplay your pain. "It's just a scratch."

Dean's eyes widened as he noticed the blood that was staining your shirt.

"It doesn't look like 'just a scratch' to me." He said firmly, stepping forward to examine the wound.

Reluctantly, you lifted your shirt, revealing a deep gash in your abdomen. Dean sucked in a breath, his face paling as he saw how serious the injury was and how recent it looked.

"What the hell happened?" Dean asked, gently running his fingers over the wound.

"It's not that bad." You protested, but the pain in you was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore.

Dean shot you a frustrated look. "Not that bad? You have a gash the size of a dinner plate in your stomach. That's worse than 'not that bad' in my book."

You opened your mouth to protest again, but your knees buckled suddenly, the pain becoming too much for you to bear. Dean and Sam were quick to catch you, propping you up between them.

"All right, that's it." Dean said firmly. "We're getting you patched up."

He and Sam each took one of your arms, carefully guiding you toward the bathroom. Bobby followed closely behind, already gathering supplies for makeshift stitches.

In the small bathroom, you leaned against the counter as Dean examined your wound more closely. Sam stood nearby, his brow furrowed with worry. Dean doused a piece of cloth with antiseptic, readying himself to clean the wound.

"This is going to hurt." He warned you.

You braced yourself, gripping the edge of the counter tightly.

"I can handle it." You replied through clenched teeth.

Dean began cleaning the wound, his touch firm but gentle. You winced, your eyes squeezed shut, but you didn't pull away. Sam watched silently, his hands clenching and unclenching as he tried to contain his worry and anger.

Once the wound was cleaned, Dean took the needle and thread that Bobby handed to him. He began stitch the gash, his fingers steady and precise as he worked. You bit your lip to try and stifle the pain as best you could, your knuckles turning white from gripping the counter.

Dean's focus was completely on the task at hand, his brow furrowed in concentration as he continued to stitch the wound. Bobby stood nearby, his concern gaze flickering between you and the Winchesters.

Finally, with one last stitch, Dean tied off the last stitch.

"All done." He announced, stepping back. Bobby handed Dean a roll of gauze, and he began wrapping it around your abdomen to secure the stitches. As he worked, he couldn't help but ask. "So, you gonna tell us how you got this injury in the first place?"

You exhaled deeply, the pain already lessening now that the wound had been properly treated.

"I got it fighting a nest of vampires." You said, your voice slightly raspy from pain.

Sam and Dean exchanged surprised glances, their expressions a mix of concern and disbelief.

"A nest?" Sam echoed. "You took on a nest of vampires by yourself?"

You shrugged nonchalantly.

"I've handled worse." You replied, though your weariness suggested otherwise.

Sam sighed in frustration as he stepped out of the bathroom, feeling inevitably responsible that you had ended up like that. After all, he hadn't stopped you from leaving, nor had he looked for you afterwards.

Dean shook his head. "You're lucky you didn't end up worse off. Or dead." He scolded, finishing up the bandage.

As Dean finished wrapping the bandage, he noticed the look in your eyes, a haunted acceptance of your own mortality. It was a look he knew all too well.

"You didn't care whether you lived or died, did you?" He asked, his voice gentle, but layered with concern.

You shrugged, avoiding his gaze.

"You were dead. I didn't care about anything else."

Dean's expression darkened at your blunt response, both pained and frustrated with your dismissal of your own well-being.

"That's stupid. You had Peter, your father, Maddie, Sam and Bobby" He grumbled, carefully helping you off the counter.

"They didn't matter without you here. Nothing mattered."

"So that's it, then? You just stop caring about everyone if I'm gone?" He asked, the pain of your words stabbing through him. "You'd just throw your life away like it doesn't matter to anyone else?" Dean's jaw clenched at your admission, a storm of anger and hurt swirling within him. "You don't get to throw your life away like it's nothing." He continued, his voice rising. "Dammit, sweetheart, you matter. You've got people that care about you. People that need you."

"I need you."

Dean's breath caught in his chest at your words, the raw honesty sending a shiver down his spine.

"I'm here now." He said softly, his anger fading.

Your eyes welled with unexpected tears at his gentle response, the weight of your own loneliness and grief finally catching up to you.

Dean pulled you gently into his arms, holding you tightly.

"I'm here now." He whispered, burying his face against your hair. As he held you, he could feel the tension slowly leave your body, your head resting on his shoulder. Neither of you spoke for a few moments, both lost in your own thoughts.

Sam and Bobby, now standing just outside the bathroom, watched the tender scene unfold. Bobby's expression softened as he observed the moment between Dean and you.

As the moment stretched on, reality slowly began to intrude once more. Sam cleared his throat, and both Dean and you looked up, a mixture of embarrassment and tenderness filling the small bathroom.

"You guys gonna come out any time soon?" Sam called out, a hint of amusement in his voice.

Dean rolled his eyes, reluctantly releasing his hold on you. You looked up at him, your expression a mixture of embarrassment and vulnerability.

"Yeah, yeah, we're coming." Dean called back, shooting a annoyed look at Sam as he gently guided you out of the bathroom.

"Feel better?" Bobby looked at you.

"Yeah. Much better." You replied as Dean guided you to sit down on the couch.

Dean shot Sam a sharp look when he saw his amused smiled.

"Shut up, or I'll shut you up." He grumbled, taking a seat next to you on the couch.

Too tired to protest, you leaned your head back against the couch, closing your eyes.

Sam took a seat in a chair across from the couch, a smirk still on his face. "Just saying, I never thought I'd see the day my brother turned all sappy over a girl." He teased.

"Keep it up, and I'll show you sappy with my fist in your face."

"All right, you idjits, enough. Save the fighting for the monsters." Bobby spoke, crossing his arms.

Half-dozing on the couch, you opened your eyes just enough to speak. "Shut up, all of you." You mumbled, your voice tired. "Trying to sleep here."

Bobby raised an eyebrow at your words, his expression becoming serious.

"Sorry, kid. No time for rest."

Sam nodded in agreement, his humor disappearing as he remembered the gravity of their situation.

"Yeah, we need to know who got Dean out of hell"

You sighed. "Right. So what's the plan?"

Keep Reading: Chapter Two

want to be tagged? here you have my tag list

main masterlist

dean winchester masterlist

Tag List: @deans-spinster-witch @lmhf1 @mochminnie @helo1281917 @barnes70stark @slyregg @ultramegavoid

[witchofhimring]

Family tensions (short fic)

Pairings: Tamlin x Reader, Feyre x Rhysand, Nyx x OC (Tamlin and Readers daughter)

Synopsis: Your daughter Tamar is mated to Rhysandss son Nyx.

Warnings: family tensions

Despite your insistent that this was in fact not the end of the word Tamlin still insisted this was the worst thing to happen. 'Have those Illyrian rats not taken enough from me!' Following your husband up the flight of stairs, you attempted to convince him that Tamar might just love Nyx. Of course you did not fully blame him. Given his past with the Night Court and its ruling lord and lady one could understand. You were torn between wanting to protect your husband and look out for Tamara. 'Perhaps we should talk to Tamar first?' Tamlin turned around. 'That is exactly what I intend to do!'

Unfortunately, the pair of you had horrible timing. Because when the door to Tamara's room was opened it was not just your daughter there, but Nyx.

Tamlin looked ready to pass out. There his daughter and Nyx were, Tamara on his lap reading a book. The moment they realized who had walked in both jumped up. 'What is this!?' Behind Tamlin came you. 'Hello Nyx.' You said politely. Oh dear. Nyx's blue eyes went back and forth between Tamara and Tamlin.

'Father, this is Nyx.' Tamara, looking unrepentant, stared defiantly at her father. It occurred to you that Tamara did not know the whole story between your families. Perhaps you should have been more forthcoming. 'Tamara dear, could we talk about this in private?' You gave Nyx a tremulous smile. 'Yes. Boy, leave.' Nyx ignored your husband. Placing himself protectively before Tamara, Nyx drew himself to his full height. 'Tamlin calm down. Nyx could you go to your parents and speak to them about this?' It was best to deal with this diplomatically. Tamlin was mostly calm these days. Years had passed since you last saw him so angry.

'Nyx. You go and I will deal with my father.' Tamara placed a hand on Nyx's shoulder. 'Are you sure.' Nyx seemed unwilling to go. 'I will be fine. You being here will make things harder. Go back to your parents.' Reluctantly Nyx left, only when he was sure Tamara was safe. Against your will, you liked him for that.

'You were where!?' His father was leaning forward on the armchair of the throne. Nyx stood before his parents in the throne room. Empty except for them three of them, Nyx was wondering just how well this would go. His father had no love for the Lord of the Spring Court. To heard that his son was courting that lords daughter might just send him.

'Is that where you have been.' His mother sat on the throne. Rhysand looked towards his wife. 'You knew?' 'No my love. I had no idea where Nyx was. But our son is nearly grown now. Should he not be allowed to chose who he loves?' Feyre, although not having ever fully forgiven Tamlin, was of a mixed mind. She did not know his eldest child well. But the few times they met Tamara had been polite. And if this had been going on for years then perhaps this was not a hasty decision. Rhysand had no such debates. In this mind this was terrible. Under no circumstances was he to be in laws with Tamlin of all people.

'I do love her father.' Rhysand raised an eyebrow. 'And what if this is a plot?' Both Feyre and Nyx looked shocked. 'Father-you can not mean-) Nyx spluttered. 'Tamara is true to me. And Lord Tamlin was nearly red with rage and-'Rhysand raised a hand. 'I'm sorry, he was what?' 'Furious. I doubt Lord Tamlin will agreed to this marriage.' Suddenly Rhysand smiled, eyes lighting up. Suddenly this marriage seemed like a terrific idea. 'Furious was he.' Rhysand was starting to think this marriage was not such a bad idea.

The idea that Tamlin might be furious over this possible marriage made the idea of uniting their families seemed a splendid idea. Rhysand nearly giggled himself sick with delight. Feyre told him he best behave. Especially since a month later they were invited to the Spring Court. Tamlin did not greet them. Feyre had never met Lady Y/n, but she had been polite, although warry. Feyre could understand why. If it had been the other way around she might be hesitant. Yet Y/n was polite and soon they were in the tea room. Feyre could not believe how different this place looked. Everything was so tidy and had a homely feel to it. Cakes and eat were placed on marble tea tables. Conversation was slightly stilted, Y/n seemed careful of every word she said. And that was when Tamlin entered. Feyre's hands clenched with anxiety. While Y/n was courteous Tamlin might not show the same restraint. Taking a seat, Tamlin kissed his wife on the cheek.

It was mostly Feyre and yourself talking. Despite your apprehensions she seemed nice enough. On the other side sat Tamlin and Rhysand sitting in stony silence. Tamlin seemed to be looking anywhere else but Rhysand, and Rhysand's mouth was placed in a frown. While the mothers seemed quite happy to chatter amongst themselves, the fathers looked like to smack each other. You prayed this would go well.

that was when Nyx and Tamara entered.

Notes: I plan to make more fics for this concept. This is kind of shorter than I would have liked but oh well. As I wrote this on a whim future fics might be slightly different. Hope you liked it! 💕

[s-awturn]

Us, again || CS55

summary: Abandoned in a strange country, with no money, friends or family and a positive pregnancy test, Y/N finds herself on the brink of unprecedented chaos. There is no one she can count on, except her ex best friend, who she didn't want to have to turn to.

cw: conflict, abandonment, crying crisis and mention of an anxiety attack. Old conflict, nostalgia, separation, problem solving, relationship to be established, ex-friends to lovers. Extreme cuteness

a/n: I wanted to start something like this, and Carlos and Toto are always my favorites for angst and this plot arose especially for the grid's smooth operator. And I articulated the details of the story while reading "my tears ricochet" by @spngi and it's no secret to anyone that I'm a drama girl, so be aware that this is going to be a lot of drama, something cute and sweet, we'll see how it turns out.

a/n¹: notes: oh my god, this took so long to finish, I almost gave up when Tumblr lost everything I had ever written (I almost cried) after four attempts, three days, I finally finished it, anyway, I hope you like it, yay!

Freely inspired by Taylor Swift's "cardigan".

“I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs / The smell of smoke would hang around this long / 'Cause I knew everything when I was young / I knew I'd curse you for the longest time”

"This isn't happening, Y/N, Don't fucking fuck with me! This isn't happening!" I hear Aaron's raised voice as he walks through the hotel room, in my hands, an urgent ultrasound and a pregnancy test with a static "positive" on the test screen. "I can't be a father now!"

"I also didn't choose to be a mother now, Aaron, much less did I make this child alone!" I respond, equally upset and stand in front of him, I would never let him, or any man in the world, get above me.

"So it's decided, we will have the abortion" he says as if it were simple, and my mind spins in a huge spiral, I don't know if abortion is an option for me, much less in a strange country and in circumstances like this. "Ireland guarantees the right to abortion, we can do it today, hopefully!"

Aaron holds my arms tightly and shakes me lightly, trying to convince me. I move away from him as if I had been shocked and stop in the other corner of the suite, looking at him as if he were a stranger.

"I'm not going to have an abortion, much less in a foreign country! I cannot and will not decide this overnight, Aaron!" I speak and I see him become more exasperated and veins grow on his forehead, a sign of stress.

"You've got to be fucking kidding," he complains, and I don't like the glazed look he's giving me. "You can't decide? Y/N, fuck, we have plans, we start our trip now and you can’t decide?”

"No, we're talking about my body! Whether I carry this pregnancy forward or not, is my decision!" My voice echoes in the room and Aaron sighs, I feel a bad shiver running up my spine when I see my boyfriend's green eyes go dark.

"You're right, it's your decision, it's your body..." He rests his hands on his hips, breathing deeply "let's sleep, we'll go back to London and talk better"

I nod and change into comfortable pajamas. The test and ultrasound are forgotten on the table. All around us, the strange tension and feeling of something wrong only allow me to sleep much later than I would like. Aaron falls asleep as soon as he hits the pillow.

-- ♡ --

I wake up as the sun escapes the translucent curtains, my body hurts like I've been hit by a truck. I barely open my eyes and my intuition kicks in and I sit up so quickly that my muscles groan with pain, there is no sign of Aaron, his bags are not in their place, I jump out of bed and open the safe, I only find my passport, torn up, in fact. No sign of my cards or the money we brought for the trip.

Tears burn my eyes as the truth crashes down on my head.

Aaron abandoned me in Ireland, alone, without money and with my documents torn up, he destroyed me. I start to hyperventilate, there's no one I can ask for help, no one to rescue me, I'm alone in a country I don't even know. My boyfriend left me, alone, pregnant, without money or any fucking support.

"Son of a bitch!" I scream and collapse on the floor, crying without stopping, I should have followed my instincts, but I trusted that he would never do something like that to me, I trusted his feelings. I was such a idiot! It takes me a few minutes to recover, taking deep breaths with my left hand on my flat stomach.

"I'll find a way to get us out of this, baby, I promise" my voice shakes and I try to stop crying. "Your stupid mom will find a way, we'll be fine soon"

After forty minutes between "I'll fix this" and "Oh my God, I'm fucked", I call the hotel reception, and I have the excellent news that my stay is guaranteed for another eight days, a Since Aaron — my stupid fucking ex — we paid before we left. At least I have a guaranteed roof over my head for a week, with food and clean clothes, I wouldn't be completely homeless.

My parents passed away years ago, my friends walked away from me when I started dating Aaron, which means I'm fucking alone.

A new bout of crying chokes my throat and I'm tired of being strong, I can't believe that stupid man left me and stole my money. I feel so, so destroyed. I face the test and the ultrasound, I wanted my mother to be here, I wanted her to comfort me and tell me everything would be okay.

Five days later.

"Wow, really? One hundred and fifty euros for a new passport? I don't have that money!" my hope dies as soon as I understand how bad my situation is. "I have the police report, isn't that worth anything?"

"I can check with my superiors, but it will take at least two weeks, Miss L/N"

"Two weeks? I can't afford to stay here for two weeks, I have no money!" My voice shakes and I suppress the urge to cry.

"It's the best I can do, Miss"

"Well, thank you then..." I thank you grudgingly and hang up. It's been five days since Aaron left, in the meantime, I've sunk into so much self-pity that I'm sharing the rent with Samara. I've swallowed my pride the last few days and called some old friends, but all the calls went to voicemail, and that doesn't surprise me.

What did I expect? That they would welcome me with open arms after I turned my back on everyone? How I was deceived;

My reservation will expire in three days, and then I will literally be in the gutter of Dublin, with no chance of returning to London, all the disappointment turns my stomach and brings on the disgusting feeling of sickness, I only have time to run to the bathroom and vomit my breakfast into the toilet. I don't know if it's a symptom of pregnancy or if it's a consequence of the horrible situation I'm in. I brush my teeth and go back to the room, going straight to the suite's balcony and facing the view of the city, I hope Dublin's landscape makes me forget how bad everything is around me. Sitting on the lounge chair, looking at the azaleas on the balcony wall, she absently ran her fingers over her belly; If you asked me a few days ago if I wanted to be pregnant, my answer would have been a giant "no", but now, I feel anxious about the little things.

Looking forward to buying the baby's clothes, choosing the color of the room or making a list of names, nothing will be easy, I know, but I will make it work, even with all the difficulties and problems, I will strive to be a good mother, and a father too if necessary.

"You didn't come at a good time, little one, but I promise I'll do everything I can for you" I murmur, trying to be confident and find some way out. There are no more tears to cry, there's no more pain to suffer so I'm not going to waste any more energy on it, fuck Aaron, I'm capable of taking care of everything, I just need some time, but I'll make it. I remain on the balcony until the end of the afternoon, when the hotel reception calls me, letting me know that dinner is already served, the mention of food makes me salivate with hunger, in the same way that it shakes my stomach in previous waves of nausea. "I need energy to sort things out for us, little one, so you can let mommy keep the food down today, huh?”

I talk to my stomach as I look for my cell phone in the mess on the bed, ignoring the pieces of my passport, otherwise I would have a tantrum and be able to get to England by swimming. I greet some guests, who ask me how I am and if the baby is already giving me trouble, and they also ask me if I managed to solve the passport problem. These same guests found out about this when they found me in tears at the reception, sympathizing with the situation I was in.

"We're fine, he's already deciding what he likes to eat, and avocado toast isn't on the list" I say laughing as we go downstairs. The restaurant is not that crowded, most guests prefer to dine in local restaurants and pubs, so most of the seats were vacant, the process of serving my food and choosing the table furthest from the air conditioning takes less than ten minutes. The food on my plate is almost gone when I'm drawn to the call of an Irish sports program, they were going to rebroadcast the Monaco GP qualifying, with comments from the commentators. I don't even notice the time passing, I end up staying there in the restaurant as the guests leave and say goodbye to me, and my heart starts racing like a rocket when the camera focuses on Carlos Sainz.

"I haven't heard anything from him since... Oh, it's been so long..." I murmur, resting my chin in my hands, hoping he can get a good position. Even though I haven't been to the races for some time, I still know how things work and I also know that Monaco is a difficult circuit. I can't help but be thrilled when he gets P2, it was quite an achievement! This leads me to wonder if he still keeps the same phone number.

Can Carlos help me... I know I'm being selfish, but I have no one else to turn to, and I'm about to despair. We were friends until one of his girlfriends decided that there was no more room in Carlos' life for me, until she decided that I could no longer come between them, not that I would, I always wanted my best friend to be happy, with whoever he was, and what hurt the most was Carlos agreeing with her and cutting me out of his life. Carlos was my best friend.

"It doesn't hurt to try, I already have the 'no'" I murmur, sliding my finger across my cell phone while I look for his phone. With my heart racing, I press "call" and wait and at the height of my anxiety, I count the seconds until he answers. Thirty seconds until I hear Carlos' familiar voice.

"Hello?" He says and I can't hold back my tears, like an emotional idiot.

"Carlos?"

"Y/N? Is that really you?" He looks as surprised as I am.

"Well yes, it's me" I give a choked laugh, the tears are blocking my nose, soon I'll be exhausted. "I know we're not friends anymore, Carlos, but I need your help... I don't would bother you if it wasn't necessary"

I hear the sound of a door closing and a strong accent complaining in what I think is French.

"You would never bother me, how can I help you, cielo?"

And then I talk, I say everything that's happening, my sobs make me cry in some parts, the hormones are already in an uproar, apparently. Carlos listens to me without interrupting once, and if I know him well, I know he's messing up his hair and frowning like he always does when he's concentrating.

"I wouldn't be calling if I weren't desperate, Carlos..."

"Calm down, calm down, you did well in the place, cielo, I won't be able to go, of course, but you'll be home soon, I promise" he says, there are no signs of hesitation in his voice and It comforts me in a way I can never explain. I hear the sound of drawers opening and a sheet of paper being torn apart "give me the address of the hotel, I won't be able to go, because of the rush, but I will send my advisor to take care of everything, don't worry, bien?"

"Thank you, thank you so much! I can't even tell you how grateful I am" I speak emotionally and give the hotel address next to the phone, in case I don't answer.

"There's no need to thank me, cielo, I would never leave you helpless, never" he assures me and I feel eighteen again, sitting on the sidewalk outside my house with him, the two of us eating ice cream and talking about his season. Oh God, I missed him so much.

"Congratulations on P2, you were great" I say sincerely, Carlos is a great driver and I know how much he works every day, I don't need to be with him to know, he is very obstinate.

"Oh, did you watch it? Thanks, Y/N"

We stay silent on the line, sharing our breaths until I break.

"I don't have enough words to thank you, Carlos, but thank you, you saved me" I say, swallowing the lump that suddenly appeared in my throat. "I need to sleep now... Good luck in the race tomorrow, I'll be rooting for you"

"Thank you cielo, have a good night" he says and we remain on the call until I hang up. Carlos and I have always shared silence, staying silent has never been a problem between us. When I lock myself in my room, all the weight of that day falls on me like a stone, I take a hot shower and lie down, tormented by memories.

"You don't call me anymore, so I came to see you, your mother told me you were here" I say, entering his room, something we always did, Carlos and I always went to each other's houses.

"Well, I didn't return your call for a reason" he said and I saw Isabella, his current girlfriend come out of the bathroom, wearing one of his shirts. "We'll talk later, Y/N"

“You never call me Y/N, what’s wrong, cielo?”

"We can't be friends anymore" He says it without pity, harshly and even cruelly.

"Huh? Why? Because of Isabella?"

"Isabella has nothing to do with this" he says quickly, standing in front of his girlfriend, Isabella puts on shorts and says she will give us privacy, I don't even look at her face, keeping his eyes on Carlos. "your feelings do!"

"What the fuck are you talking about, Carlos?! My feelings? Are you crazy?

"I heard your conversation with Blanca" he confesses and I feel my heart stop, he shouldn't have... "Don't make me say, Y/N, So spare us the humiliation of having to break your heart over feelings that should never exist, because you know, we would never have anything."

I could call him names, fight him, or do anything else, but I just nodded and took off the friendship bracelet we had made last summer. A stupid symbol of our bond, which no longer exists.

"I think you're right, I hope you're immensely happy, cielo and that you can achieve everything you dream of" I leave the bracelet on his desk before leaving the room. I say goodbye to Mrs. Sainz and Blanca, Carlos' sister apologizes, she didn't know he was listening. "It's my fault, there's no need to apologize"

I said goodbye to them, aware that it would be the last time we would see each other like that, I had been accepted at a university in England and with the death of my parents, nothing kept me in Spain anymore. Except only for Carlos.

But not anymore, that was the last time I spoke to Carlos.

My heart jumps when I wake up, I feel my face wet and I confirm that just like in the memories, I cried. I really had feelings for Carlos, but I was willing to ignore them if it meant having my best friend with me, I didn't care if he was dating or anything, I just needed him, I didn't have anyone else, feelings that shouldn't have even arisen. I didn't want to ask him for help, but I knew I would never have the courage to ask Blanca, Reyes or Mr. Carlos, so I had to swallow my pride and call him.

I'm still looking at the hotel ceiling, thinking about the floodgate that Carlos opened in me, with just one phone call. I thought I was over it, that the hurt and resentment were gone. As for the mistake, I was as hurt and resentful as years ago, it still hurt as if it had been done yesterday. My daydreams are interrupted by a call from an unknown number, I answer and make the mistake of answering while yawning.

"I'm sorry, please, I just woke up" I ask before hearing the person, who laughs, I would recognize that laugh anywhere, even in a crowd. "Carlos"

"Sorry for waking you up, cielo" he says and I feel my skin itch, the nickname takes me back to good days, where everything was sweet and full of dreams.

"Relax, I literally just woke up. Is everything okay?"

"Yes, yes everything is fine, I just called to let you know that there will be a car to pick you up at one o'clock in the afternoon, you will be taken to a private flying field straight to London" he says, I hear the buzz of the pitlane in the background, lots of shouting in Italian and the uproar of the crowd. The race would start soon. "Is everything okay with you, cielo? Can you get it ready in time?"

"Yes, definitely yes, I didn't want to bother you, Carlos, especially before a race."

"Ah" he clicked his tongue, dismissing my apology "it's no big deal, I promised I would take you home and I will, there will be a car at the private airport to take you home, just give your address to the driver, and don't worry about paying anything, you only need to worry about eating and resting during the trip, as for your passport, I scheduled a time for you to get a new copy of your document, in three days, you will receive a memo on your cell phone."

My throat constricted, well here I am feeling like crying again, these hormones are still going to make me dehydrated from crying, or my tears would dry up at some point.

"You're being a guardian angel for me, Carlos, I'll never thank you enough" I murmur hoarsely, swallowing the tears.

"Oh no, no please, don't cry, you know I never know how to deal with your tears" he says and I know he's despairing, which makes me laugh and sniffle, in a strange way that I know I've never done before "I'm not doing anything much, if with all this money, I can't do something simple like take you home, what is all this for?"

"I know, thank you very, very much... I'll pack my bags and have coffee, you'll do well in this race, I know that" I say quickly and hang up before it gets awkward, or rather, weirder.

The following hours are a mess, checking in at the hotel, the journey to the runway and much of the flight are done with my mind on standby, I could only think about how betrayed I felt by Aaron's attitude, how I needed to swallow my pride and ask for help from someone I swore I wouldn't see again. The Earth turned several times until it threw me into Carlos Sainz's life once again. I sink into the armchair looking at the fluffy clouds through the window.

"I said I would find a way, little one, and we're going home now. Maybe you'll question my methods in the future, but not my results" I laugh at my own joke and I let my hands rest on my belly, I suddenly feel anxious to see it bigger, Being a mother was not a goal for the next five years, I'm not at all prepared for motherhood, but I don't know how to describe the panic that gripped my heart when Aaron suggested the interruption. I have a stable job, which allows me to work from home and a flexible schedule, I have a small apartment, but with an extra room for the baby and well, I decided to move on. I already feel very connected to the baby, and there is a break in the loneliness that I have felt for years, it is good not to feel alone.

My cell phone rings the moment I turn the key in the lock, Carlos' name flashes on the display and I answer it while trying to push my bags inside.

"The driver just told you he dropped you off at home, did everything go well? Were the flight attendants kind to you?"

"Yes, yes, everything was fine, Carlos, the flight attendants are really cute, I was treated very well, you can put your weapons away" I breathe a sigh of relief as I sit down on my sofa, finally away from all that hell I went through in Dublin.

"That's good, cielo, I've been worried about you all day"

I don't know what to answer, I don't know what Carlos expects from me after all these years, after so much distance.

"I'm glad you're home and well, cielo, I'll let you rest now"

Another time, we are silent on the call until I ask "did you win?"

“It was Charles' home race, my job was to make sure he won, but I got second place” he says, there's a certain 'job done' tone in his voice. "I'm happy with today's result"

"That's good, I'm happy for you, and for your teammate" I say sincerely.

"Thank you, that matters a lot... Anyway, rest okay? You can't sleep late anymore, take care cielo, call me for whatever you need, anything, don't hesitate" he says with such firmness that It almost makes me uncomfortable, so we hang up. I don't know if Carlos is back in my life and I don't know if I'm okay with that. It's so confusing, but I don't need to deal with it right now, I have more important things to take care of.

Almost two weeks later, I got a new passport, applied for new cards and was being monitored by an obstetrician. Luckily I didn't run into Aaron a single day, I changed the locks, I threw his things in the trash and made my transition from a committed woman to a single woman smoothly.

"What do I need to buy at the market?" I mutter as I check cupboards and fridge, licorice dangling from my lips. "milk, eggs, sugar, tomatoes and pasta... Cheese and bacon, for sure" Maybe I'll make a carbonara when I get home from the store. I had been in the middle of an Italian food fixation for days, all I wanted was pasta, tomatoes and cheese. Just when I finish making the market list, my campaign rings and I have a heart attack when I see no one other than Carlos Sainz — and all his other surnames — standing at my door.

"Carlos? What are you doing here?"

"I don't know, to be honest I don't know, but after you called me, I couldn't stop thinking about seeing you again" He says it so fast I think he's going to choke and I pull him into the apartment before the neighbors see him and decide to hold a carnival on my doorstep. He wastes a few seconds looking around, for an instant I saw my best friend there, the guy who knew everything about my life and who today, knew nothing about me anymore, big breakthrough.

"I'm sorry if you think that explains anything," I reply, looking at how lost he looks. "but again, what do you want here, Carlos?"

"I want to apologize, I was a shitty friend to you, I was cruel, I belittled your feelings, you are the most amazing and resilient person I know" he says, taking a step towards me, I don't back away, but I make it clear that he is not welcome in my personal space. "Life without you has been bad, very bad and I only realized that when I saw you, weeks ago."

"Walking away was the best thing we did, Carlos. God knows how we would have ended up if you hadn't put an end to it."

"No, it shouldn't have, it wasn't the right thing! We were left without our best friends because we didn't know how to deal with things, I didn't know"

"Carlos, you can't be best friends with the guy you're in love with, at some point I would hate you and that would be worse"

"and you didn't hate it?"

I keep quiet, because yes, I hated him for a long time, I still think I do and I don't even know why I'm trying to defend him. It must be the hormones talking.

"Yeah, yes I hated you for a long time, maybe I still hate you, but you were my best friend, I can't hate you forever"

I look at the man who was my mainstay for years, my confidant, best friend, accomplice, the guy who won my heart with gumdrops and notes in candy wrappers. The man I fell in love with and broke my heart. There is a mixture of feelings in me, hurt, pain, hope, resentment, all of it shaking my heart nonstop, I don't know what to feel.

"I don't know if I can have you around, Carlos, you were really my best friend, but you were also the guy I fell in love with and who broke my heart, I don't know if I'm ready to have you back"

He swallows, taking in what I said, and for a moment, I think he's going to give up and walk away, but he nods and straightens his posture "okay, I'm going to prove that I'm sorry, for everything, for being a shitty friend, a stupid guy, I'm going to make you forgive me and" he pauses, to emphasize everything "I'll be with you, I'll make up for all the years, all the pain, I'll deserve you, Y/N, I swear"

I don't even know what to think, my mind goes blank as I try to understand what he's up to.

"What if I don't want to?" The question escapes my mouth without permission, the filter between my brain and mouth is off, apparently. "What makes you think I might want you in my life again?"

He doesn't respond for a few minutes, I can almost see the gears in Carlos' head turning, trying to find a good answer.

"Nothing, but that's never been an impediment for me, you know"

I just stare at him, surprised by that, my mouth articulates, but no sound comes out.

"You came all the way here from Spain for this?"

"I would come from anywhere in the world"

After that there wasn't much we could say, Carlos insisted on staying and making pancakes for me, and I couldn't say no as my stomach growled like a monster at the mention of food. In an instant I was watching Carlos move everything in my kitchen, he chops strawberries and blackberries while letting the pancake batter rest for a while.

“Aaron looked for you?” He questions, putting the fruit in a bowl and only looks at me when I sigh loudly. "What? Has he been bothering you? I'll sort it out"

"What? No, no! He didn't show up"

"Then why do you look frustrated?" I watch Carlos put the frying pan on the fire and add the yeast to the dough, and then stir gently, placing small discs in the hot pan.

"I'm just tired, all the stress from the trip is still affecting my sleep..." I murmur, stealing a piece of strawberry, the smell of the pancakes increases my hunger and Carlos laughs when he hears my belly rumbling. "Don't laugh, I'm eating for two and you have no idea how much this little one likes to eat"

We enter another silent space, Carlos focused on finishing the pancakes and my mind wanders to our conversation, some time before. I'm not a hypocrite in saying that I've already forgiven Carlos, but I don't think there's still space for that kind of resentment, I'm not eighteen anymore, I'm about to be a mother, I no longer have the time or inclination to feed old grudges. And God knows how much I missed him all these years, I refused to watch any races so I wouldn't have to see him. Calling Carlos and asking for his help seems to have put all our dramas in order, It made me understand that one way or another, my life would end up intertwined with his again.

No matter how much I wanted or tried, I would never be able to completely move away from Carlos, and it's time to accept that.

"Here you go, eat it all, I don't want your baby to grow up hating me" he says and pushes over a plate full of pancakes, berries, honey and some icing sugar. A beautiful montage.

"I hope it's good, or we'll both hate you" I reply and laugh when he turns pale, I take out a generous piece and the sweet smell intoxicates me for a few seconds. I go to heaven and back when I chew the piece of pancake, the taste is light and the dough melts in my mouth, I know I can eat this for the rest of my life and be happy every day.

"Holy fucking God, this is perfect, Carlos!" I take a piece of pancake with a strawberry and feel heaven on my tongue, a moan of appreciation makes my whole body vibrate, this is perfect, damn"If you had used that to apologize, I would have definitely accepted it from the beginning."

"if I had known food was the secret, I would have come prepared" He laughs as I finish eating, nothing more is said until I finish the second helping, which Carlos was happy to serve me.

I slide my finger across the plate, picking up the traces of honey and sugar, humming as I literally wipe the plate clean. I insist that he put everything in the dishwasher and come sit with me so we can sort everything out, once and for all.

"I still can't believe you came all the way to London... You got my address from the driver and you're here, making me pancakes and everything..." I say, playing with one of the cushions while Carlos takes the armchair in front of me. I allow myself to face him, he's even more handsome than before, the trail of beard over his chiseled jaw, his thick hair in an elegant mess, Carlos is a vision of fucking paradise.

"I'm not lying, Y/N, I really want to make amends with you, in any way" he assures, and breaks the distance between us, sitting next to me while holding my hands. "You missed me so much, and when you called me crying, I realized that we missed so much from each other, I wanted you to be at my first victory with Ferrari, I wanted to see your graduation, help you move in... "

In a strange way, I'm grateful that he doesn't mention the fact that I was in love with him, not that I'm ashamed of it, but ignoring it might make us easier to get along with.

"We can try, Carlos, try to be friends again, because my goodness, I missed you so much" I confess and he laughs.

"I promise to make it worth it, cielo" he squeezes my hands, running his thumb affectionately from the back of my hand. "I won't disappoint you"

"I bet it'll be a boy," he says, stealing a spoonful of my ice cream, fast enough to avoid the hit of my spoon on his hand. "God said to share bread, you know?"

"Exactly, He said to share the bread, not my ice cream" I mumble, protecting the container with my body. Carlos has been coming to my house for weeks, always bringing food — I'm beginning to suspect that it has a direct connection to my stomach and my hunger —, gifts for the baby and books on child psychology, food introduction and everything he considers necessary to educate a child. He's been taking over my couch whenever he has time off. I dare say that I see more Carlos than my neighbors. "And why do you think it will be a boy? This is misogyny, Sainz"

He tries to steal my ice cream again and this time I slap him right in the middle of the forehead, which is effective because he moves away. "I'm not being sexist, I'm following my intuition, okay?"

"The last time we followed your intuition, we ended up in the middle of nowhere, at three in the morning in a car without gas. If it weren't for my father, you would be grounded to this day." I respond, changing the sofa, Carlos is willing to steal my ice cream, interfering with a pregnant woman's right to satisfy her desire for a sweet treat after lunch. I'm going to report him to human rights.

"But do you think it's a boy or a girl?"

"I have no idea, I still don't have that 'maternal intuition' that I've seen in the support group for solo mothers, but I'm fine with any option, I'll love it regardless of gender" I say, my right hand slides over my recently completed five-month-old belly. "I should have found out the sex at the last appointment with the obstetrician, but this little one here had his back turned, can you believe it?"

Carlos laughs, throwing his entire body back and falling onto the sofa. I just watch him laugh, being enveloped by his laughter like a fluffy blanket.

"Seriously, I didn't even know that was possible, crossing your legs, ok, but being on your back is something new" he says, still laughing and drying his tears. I just realize how close he is, When I feel your hand on my belly, the calloused palm warms my skin even with the shirt between us. My breath hitches in my throat, something new growing and It's not just the little traveler in my womb... I don't know if that could be a good thing, especially considering our history.

"Yeah, she told me to go back there in a few days, if I want to find out the gender before the sixth month, then I'll be there on Tuesday, I won't have a meeting at work and I can buy the paints" I explain, poking at the ice cream, trying to distract myself from Carlos' hand on my belly.

"I just need to be in Maranello on Saturday, so I can join you if you want" he suggests, finally moving to his end of the sofa.

"Really? I don't want to disturb you, I know race week is coming and you need to prepare" I say trying, I don't even know what I'm trying, I'm going to blame my exploding hormones.

"I can deal with that later, you need my opinion on paint colors and someone to hold your hand while you root for the business class traveler to be facing forward this time" he said, and looks at me meaningfully "that is, I am most needed here"

"Are you sure? You don't need to go"

"I would be there, even if I were playing crosswords in the office waiting room" he says, without giving me any chance for discussion.

"Okay, whoever said that is no longer here, now pass the ice cream slowly and no one gets hurt" I say and hold out my hand, waiting for the container he stole when he thought I wasn't looking. "Now"

"That's unfair," he grumbles, handing over the pot.

"I'll let you have the ice cream if you get pregnant in my place."

"You win, you can have the ice cream"

-- ♡ --

"Do you want me to come in with you?" He asks and I bite my lip to keep from laughing, Carlos is holding my bag under his shoulder. Quite a scene.

"I need someone to hold my hand, and" I look behind him "I don't see any more volunteers, so smile, you've been selected" I smile, waving my index finger as if it were a flag.

"Okay, let's confirm that my intuition is right"

"Uh-huh, of course yes, cielo" I say, entering the office.

The obstetrician doesn't need to ask any initial questions, since I was here a few days ago, so asking how I am is irrelevant. I change into that horrible hospital gown and lie down on the stretcher, Carlos looks anxious in the passenger seat and my hand grabs his so fast I don't even register it, I laugh nervously as the cold gel is spread across my bulging belly.

"Let's hope he's being an exhibitionist today" she says confidently and starts to use the device.

"How can you understand anything here, it's all blurry" he says, approaching the screen. "Where is his head?"

"Shut up, chilli" I say, but I give a nervous laugh "I don't understand anything either, so let those who do understand tell you what we're seeing", I shake his hand and receive an eager smile.

"We're lucky today, he's turned around, or rather, she" she indicates on the screen and I start crying immediately, Carlos squeezes my hand and wipes my tears. "Congratulations, you will be parents of a very strong-willed girl."

"Oh, no, no, I'm just the family friend" Carlos corrects her, but this is forgotten, given how much I'm crying. "You're crying a lot, should I be worried, cielo?"

"I-I'm fine" I sniffle crying less, I'm having a little girl, I don't even know what to say, I'm exploding like fireworks "I'm fine, really"

"I'll leave you two alone" the obstetrician leaves and I feel, cleaning the gel from my abdomen and I am hugged tightly, Carlos supports me with care and zeal, there is so much between the lines here, so much implied.

"That little girl is so lucky to be born as your daughter" he murmurs, stroking my hair gently "a little girl, damn you were right, my intuition is shit"

I press my hands to his shoulder blades so hard I feel my fingers tremble. "Thanks for coming"

"There's no place in the world I should be, cielo"

"You want me to go to the next race? Why?"

"I like having important people cheering me on there, and Charles is bothering me to meet you" he says, painting the wall lilac, he's all dirty, there's dye in his hair, and of course, he is shirtless. As long as I don't have a knife at my neck, I will never confess that the vision is messing with me. "I will take care of everything, you can stay in the same hotel as me"

"You should stop taking care of everything, or you'll have a heart attack instead of appendicitis" I murmur, Carlos insisted that I sit and watch him paint, he even brought books, chopped fruit and even Alexa to play my favorite playlist. "Seriously Charles Leclerc wants to meet me? Why?"

"I have no idea, Charles must have heard it one of the times you called me" he replies. Carlos speaks so quickly that there's no way not to be suspicious, but I give him the benefit of the doubt, I'm sure Charles will tell me why.

"Mhmm, I know... Now I'm curious to meet him too... But the trip to Budapest can be so tiring..." I murmur, peeling the pear as I watch him slide the paint roller along the wall perfectly, Carlos is meticulous and perfectionist in everything he sets out to do, so I admire the paint stains in his hair and on different parts of his body, thank God the fan is on here, otherwise I would be melting from the heat, and having him there, almost naked, doesn't help much.

“It’s not like I’m going to let you take a commercial flight to Hungary, please Y/N, I’m not that petty!” He retorts, touching up the paint on the roller while giving me a quick look "You will go with me to Budapest, on a private flight and I will leave you staying in the same hotel as me, if you are worried, I will hire a private neonatal nurse to accompany us, but I really want you to go, it's important for me to have you two there with me."

"If you insist on that—..." I try to say, but he interrupts me.

"I insist yes, and I'm glad you agreed, I was ready to start the Infallible Convincing Plan for Carlos Sainz" he says and I laugh loudly "What? Am I not convincing?"

"Persuasion isn't one of your best qualities, chilli" I mutter, picking up the folded sheet of paper from among the books he brought me "changing the subject, I listed the female names that I liked most for the baby, feel free to give your opinion, I'm quite undecided here, I have good options."

"I'm listening, I hope they are good names and none taken from the books, considering how obsessed with A Court of Roses and Thorns you are, the girl is in danger of being called Feyre" Carlos shamelessly mocks me and I throw the pear stem at him. "I'm just telling the truth, cielo, but come on, give me the options"

"You know, Ancient Egypt has been my Roman Empire for years, so I thought I would pay homage to one of the greatest queens of that civilization, none other than Cleopatra, but" I pause, aware that Carlos will want to object, so I continue quickly "I chose to shorten the name, Cleo. It's a good option, right?"

"It's a beautiful, elegant and feminine name. I like it, you have a good option" he responds, with his back to me, giving a beautiful view of his lats contracting and relaxing. Oh God, what a hell of a handsome man.

"Well, the next option is Athena, as the Greek goddess of justice, wisdom and war, I don't think I need to explain further, right?"

"It's good, but I still prefer Cleo"

"I like Margot and Elena, they are both elegant and short, I didn't think about long and complicated names, I don't want her to have problems learning to write her own name"

"It's a good justification, giving her a name that's easy to read and write... So I still prefer Cleo"

"Don't you want to hear the other options?"

"Nope, I like Cleo, it's beautiful and very meaningful, and it matches her last name, she'll love it, when she understands it"

I hadn't thought about my last name when choosing the names, so Carlos' reasoning makes sense, so I already had a name chosen.

"Alright, we have a winner, I like Cleo too, thanks for helping me choose"

"You're welcome, we are here to serve well and always serve" he makes an exaggerated bow and I laugh.

"Oh really? My kitchen faucet is dripping non-stop, can you fix it for me?" I ask ironically and Carlos wipes the sweat from his face, giving me another meaningful look.

"Of course yes, cielo, I'll sort it out as soon as I'm done here"

"I'm kidding, chilli, you don't have to worry about it"

"But not me, I'll sort it out as soon as it's over" he insists and I give up trying to make him give up, Carlos is as stubborn as a wild horse, it's no wonder he's at Ferrari. Which makes me think of something:

"I agree to go with you, but I want to meet Lewis, it's my condition" I point my index finger and Carlos looks at me, raising his eyebrow.

"Really? I need to find out what makes Lewis Hamilton so appealing to the female audience" I can't identify the feeling in his voice, and I adjust myself in the seat, stroking my protruding belly. Being pregnant isn't easy, the nausea, all the swelling and fluid retention is horrible, I was already sleeping poorly because my belly wouldn't let me find a comfortable position and of course, I've already lost all my clothes. But I don't regret for a moment having continued with the pregnancy, my little traveler is a gift, Cleo already makes my days wonderful. I observe the lilac covering the walls little by little, making her room take on shape and color, soon the furniture would be assembled.

"I think it's the voice, he has a very good voice to listen to, I could listen to hours of ASMR of him speaking" I respond, hearing Carlos mumble intelligibly. "What did you think of color? I didn't want pink because I thought it was too obvious, and I love the combination of lilac and green"

"I like it, they are very pretty shades and you chose a good brand, they don't have a strong smell and they pigment well on the wall... I'm almost done here, where do you leave the tools to fix the tap?"

"Carlos, I was joking, don't worry about it, the plumber will come on Tuesday to fix it, I'm serious" I say, hoping he will forget this story. "Don't worry, it's serious!"

He puts the rest of the paint in the can and takes the paint roller to the laundry area. I even try to help, but Carlos forces me to sit down again when he returns from the laundry area. He himself collects the newspapers from the floor and opens the windows.

"I need a shower now, can I use your bathroom?"

"Obviously, feel free, I'll order a pizza for us" I say, following him to the living room, Carlos waves and gives a quick kiss and and go to my bathroom in the suite. I see how his jeans fit well on his hips, leaving the waistband of his underwear slightly visible and God only knows how that messes with my hormones. “Y/N, you fucking need to control yourself, he’s your best friend, stop acting like a needy bitch.

"Are you Y/N? Finally! It's a pleasure to meet you, Carlos talked a lot, a lot about you!" Charles tells me, giving me a tight, loving hug. He is really very handsome and It's easy to understand why his fans are so obsessed with him, he's gorgeous. He has an adorable dimpled smile on his face and I feel shaken all of a sudden.

"He also spoke a lot about you, Charles, it's great to meet you too" I return the hug.

"I hope he said good things"

"I tell her the truth!" Carlos shouted from afar.

Soon we are surrounded by the team, who are extremely warm and kind to me, but I feel claustrophobic among so many people.

"Okay guys, give her space, please, you're making her suffocate" Carlos appears as a salvation and takes me out of the crowd, Charles follows us to the empty area of the garage. "Are you okay, cielo? Here, drink some water, it's too hot and you can't get dehydrated." He offers me a disposable cup of water and makes me sit down. "I have to talk to my mechanics now, but Charles can take you for a ride in the pitlane, if that's okay?"

"Of course, of course don't worry, you can go, we'll be fine"

"Well, take care of them, Charles"

"Relax, being with me is the same as being with God, relax cabrón"

"That's what scares me" Carlos says and kisses me quickly on the cheek, not caring what it does to me, not that he knows.

"Ready? I'm going to give you the best guided tour of the pitlane" Charles interlaces his arm in the middle and guides me through the pitlane, he is approached by a lot of people, always being extremely kind and attentive, he makes some jokes while introducing the places and some people.

"Y/N! Carlos didn't tell me you were coming!" Lando comes running towards us and hugs me too, we were already close to the Mercedes garage, one of the employees told us that Lewis was in a meeting, so I decided to wait

"It was a last minute decision, there was no way to warn you anyway" I say while Charles takes a chair from the Mercedes garage and makes me sit down.

"Why did you meet her before me?! I hear Sainz talking about her all day!"

"I live in London and I met her during his visit, so I tagged along! It's not my fault you don't live in London!" Lando retorts and I laugh at them.

"Sorry if I'm Monegasque! I didn't choose to be born in Monaco!" My laughter echoes around the room and they stop arguing, and then they laugh too, but the moment is interrupted by Lewis Fucking Hamilton. He's more impressive up close, damn it.

"It's good to finally meet Carlos' girl, you've been the talk of the paddock, he says and my cheeks burn and he hugs me too. The four of us talk for almost forty minutes, Lewis is exactly what I expected, polite, kind and attentive, he really has the aura, that aura that few people have and that made it clear why he is one of the greatest in the sport. He's really impressive.

"Let's go to the garage chérie, you need to get some rest, it's too hot for you to stay out here" Charles says as he guides me to the Ferrari garage, where Carlos is already waiting for us, Seeing him is like a cool breeze on a scorching day, he looks so good in red that wow, it hurts to remember he's leaving the Tifosi.

"How was it? Did you enjoy the ride? Did Charles treat you well?" He asks and sizes me up, but I nod dismissively and hear Charles click his tongue, offended.

"I'm fine, Charles was a perfect gentleman to me, and we met Lando on the way, it was amazing!" I say.

"That's great, cielo, let's go to my room, you need to rest, there was a lot of excitement today" He takes me to his private room and lets me rest on the bed there, I don't mind, my feet hurt so much and I wanted to get some sleep, Carlos sits on the edge and rubs my belly, he looks strange, like he's uncomfortable. "Are you okay? How is Cleo?"

"We're fine, she's great" I reply and feel her move and kick, Cleo is Carlos' biggest fan, apparently, she always moves when he speaks, loves the sound of his voice and kicks in the exact place where his hand is. She's going to be his biggest groupie, and there's no argument.

I watch him, feeling my heart beat like a fool, Carlos has been exactly what I hope he will be, a friend, a great companion, he is always in connection with me, I hate knowing that I'm falling in love with him again, that I'm entering that gray area again, putting our friendship at risk because of my stupid feelings, so I'm going to swallow whatever I feel because I'm not willing to be without my best friend again, I couldn't bear to lose him and I want him to be part of my daughter's life, of our life. So it's okay for me to stay in the friend zone if it keeps him around.

"What's bothering you, chilli? You look strange"

"I... I need to tell you something"

"Carlos, if you brought me to Budapest just to kick me out of your life, I swear to God I will run you over with your own car!" I exclaim, trying to pinch his muscular abdomen but failing, obviously.

"What? Of course not, it's nothing like that" he laughs nervously "It's something else... Well, I know this shouldn't happen, and I don't even know how to tell you this, but spending the last few months with you It's been the best thing in my life, I love spending any available time with you and Cleo, helping you with everything, this has left an impression on me and continues to leave a lasting impression on me, I'm so grateful for allowing me to be a part of this."

He stops, leaving tension in the air, making me anxious.

"What I want to say, cielo, is that my feelings have changed, I no longer feel like your friend, I'm just falling more in love with you every day, I tried to avoid it, because we are friends, but it was inevitable and when I realized it, I was already in love. I know it's not the best case scenario, and I broke your heart before, so it's okay with me if you don't reciprocate, but please, let me stay close to you, close to Cleo, I already love this little traveler, I love her so much and it hurts to imagine not being around—..."

I didn't even notice when I sat down on the bed, but I notice the exact moment my hand grabs the collar of his red t-shirt and I kiss him. As I imagined doing since I was sixteen. Carlos responds almost immediately, there is urgency, care and satisfaction in his kiss, all spiced up by the sweet taste of cinnamon. It's exactly how I always imagined it. It's sweet, strong and intense.

"If it's up to us, you'll be with us forever, cielo" I say and he breathes a sigh of relief, kissing me again while leaving his calloused hand on my belly.

"I'm going back to London now, fuck it, my little girl is coming" he says on the cell phone, I hear the sound of him moving around the room, I breathe loudly when the contraction hurts and I want to cry, but I don't.

"No, no, you're saying goodbye to Ferrari, Cleo won't like knowing that her father is abandoning the race like that" I say in one breath. "We're fine, okay? Blanca is here with me and Reyes will be here soon, please stay calm, love and promise me you will win, for us"

Carlos whimpers and I stop holding him, bursting into tears, I wanted him with me there, but I would never forgive myself if he didn't race his last race with the Maranello team, and Cleo will understand in the future. I know it will.

"Cielo... This is fucking unfair" he kicks something and I sob "I wish I was there, you need me, both of you"

"Win the race, chilli, for us!" I scream because Blanca takes the phone away from me, because I enter the operating room.

-- ♡ --

Cleo is perfect, there is nothing Aaron about her, thank heavens and she is absurdly restless, she doesn't cry, but she doesn't sit still either. I'm absurdly in love with my little traveler, ga she is beautiful, healthy and was born at exactly the same time that Carlos won the race in Abu Dhabi, that didn't give him the championship, but it was extremely important for us, because the checkered flag waved when she cried.

"She's beautiful" Blanca is standing next to the stretcher, holding my daughter's little hand while Cleo breastfeeds, still with her eyes closed. The silence of the maternity corridor is broken by quick footsteps, the door to my room is opened with force and I see Carlos there, he still looks like a mess in his Ferrari overalls, messy hair and very, very tired.

He doesn't say anything, he just walks towards us and kisses my forehead for long seconds and looks at Cleo.

"I'll leave you alone" Blanca gives a suspicious smile and leaves the room.

"Lamento llegar tarde, pequeña estrella, pero gané la carrera por ti". He says in Spanish and I melt with so much love, Cleo seems to recognize his voice and calm down. "she is beautiful, too beautiful, I'm sorry for being late, mi amor"

"It's okay, chilli, you're here at the right time" I say, grateful to smell his expensive cologne, it feels like home and gives me so much comfort. "Thanks for coming."

"There's nowhere I want to be, cielo" he murmurs, carefully I make Cleo stop breastfeeding and cover her breast with the hospital gown. "are you really okay, cielo?"

"I'm, I'm fine actually... How did you get here so fast?"

"Fred left a jet ready for me, I just did the race, got the trophy and came here as soon as I could" he says, running his finger on Cleo's cheek. "She's so beautiful, her nose is identical to yours, happily."

"Do you want to hold her?"

He looks nervous, but accepts it. Carefully, Carlos places Cleo on his lap and walks around the room, talking softly to her, it's the most adorable scene in the world, my heart fills with love as I watch them.

"Cielo, will you marry me?" He says, still looking at the baby in his lap. "I want you close to me always, I want to take care of you, of Cleo. God, I love you both so much and I can't spend another day away from you"

"Are you serious?

"Damn it! I've never been so serious in my life"

"Yes, yes, yes! There is no one better for me, no better father for Cleo" I say in tears, and he comes over, sitting next to me on the hospital gurney. We both watch Cleo sleep in his arms, she looks comfortable and happy with him, just like me.

Months later.

"Let's go see daddy, sweetheart" I say, clearing the entrance to the paddock. It was Cleo's first race since she was born, Carlos had been looking forward to this race for weeks, but didn't want to travel with her so young, so I waited for the Silverstone circuit. I'm in the process of moving to Madrid, but it's happening gradually because of the racing, the 2025 season has been unusual, Williams is finally scoring well, Carlos is having a great season so far, so I thought it was only right that we came to support his race.

Cleo babbles happily, clapping her hands as the team members greet us and joke with Cleo, my little traveler laughs to everyone. She is Miss Congeniality herself, drawing attention wherever he goes. When we finally arrive at the garage, we are greeted by the sound of an engine being tested, the mess of Netflix with the team and Carlos aside, talking to Alex as if they were two old gossips, and when he sees us, he smiles so wide it shines like the sun.

"¡Mi estrellita!" He talks loudly as he comes towards us, Cleo claps her hands and laughs, making the cute baby sounds, getting the team's attention, I don't mind seeing my little girl be his focus first, this is part of what I idealize paradise to be. Cleo laughs as Carlos kisses and tickles her, so I go to greet the team, ask James what his predictions are for the day's race and talk to Alex.

"Where's Lily? I thought I'd have company during the race" I look around, trying to find her, but I hear Alex sigh.

"She's at a golf tournament in Asia, she won't be back until Thursday" he says sadly "She wanted to come, especially since it was Cleo's first race, but she couldn't miss it..."

"Oh, and will it be broadcast? I want to root for her" I say, the two of us spent a long time talking until Carlos came to us, they are both blushing and smiling, which makes my heart skip a beat.

"Hey cutie, I loved your blue jumpsuit it suits you so much" Alex holds out his hands to her and of course my daughter goes with open arms to him, Alex takes her for a walk and sees her cats, giving me and Carlos a little time together.

"Hey cielo, Thank you for coming, it's important to have you here" he says and kisses me, wrapping his arm around my waist, keeping me close."I like this dress, any special occasions?" He says, looking me from head to toe, I try not to blush under his malicious scrutiny.

"I thought we could have dinner today after the race"

"Oh, really? I think we can request a special babysitting service from Lando and Charles... And extend our dinner to the room, what do you think?"

"Excellent! We can make things better then" I suggest, playing with the zipper on his suit.

"And how do you intend to make things better, mi cielo?" He asks quietly, and suddenly everything around us disappears, leaving just the two of us there. The air becomes thicker and my breathing is heavy with anticipation.

"A bet, if you win the race, I'm in your hands, otherwise, you'll be under my yoke, what do you think?" I suggest softly, he laughs, running his tongue over his lips as he stares at me.

"I'm in, and I'm prepared mi amor, because I'm going to be at the highest place on the podium today" He assures me and kisses me, the team calls him to run, I find Alex and Cleo in the corner of the garage, both playing with one of his kittens.

"Come on baby, let's let Uncle Alex run" I pick Cleo up and she whimpers, wanting to keep playing with the puppy. "then we play with the kitten, love, I promise" I say to to comfort her, Alex promises to leave the kitten with Cleo later. The two drivers prepare for the race and I decide to watch from Carlos' room. Cleo is not used to the noise of the cars and I don't want it to become a nuisance for her.

The whole race is full of unforeseen events and surprises, no one is really expecting Williams to perform well, but Carlos and Alex are getting everything they can out of the car, putting pressure on Lewis and Lando in the first positions, the last laps literally become a game of musical chairs, the four exchange risky overtakes, the last lap is marked by an interesting exchange and Carlos takes first place, with Lewis in second and Alex in third. Cleo and I celebrated in the pilot room until we were taken to the garage, When Carlos arrives, he is euphoric and celebrates with the team, I love seeing his joy, how well he is with Williams. He comes to us and picks Cleo up, throwing her in the air and making her laugh. I'm taken by surprise when he kisses me, amidst applause and screams from the team.

"Thank you, thank you for everything, mi amor, I love you, I love our family"

"I love you, chilli, and I know Cleo does too" I respond, leaving my face close to his and kissing him again. I never thought that my life would have such a huge turnaround and that I would end up here, once again in love with my best friend and, on top of that, being reciprocated by him. I thank each and every entity that has guided me to this moment, I thank my incredible partner, my perfect family and our wonderful family.

I watch Carlos go get his trophy, he refuses to leave Cleo in the garage and she loves being in the middle of the mess.

And I love seeing them.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO S-AWTURN™ 🪐. I do not allow copying or republication. Any unauthorized publication will be reported.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[singlebraincelledgoat]

FSYY concept art

Wanna know what the definition of insanity is? Trying to figure out what over 350+ characters look like in an ancient Chinese novel cause oh my god why are there so many characters how did anyone keep track of them

Anyways, I’m slowly but surely making it down the roster

Starting with one of my niche favorites from this novel, Lei Zhenzi. That one guy who ate the apricots that happened to turn you into a thunder bird

In a lot of modern adaptations, he’s more monstrous in his looks and personality. I’ve watched a movie where he was basically China’s version of the Hulk (it’s called The First Myth Clash of Gods. Not the best movie but it’s a huge guilty pleasure to me I love it lol)

He’s not like that in the book at all, in fact he’s kinda a fail girl in my eyes. I wanted to lean towards an interpretation where he may be this huge bird person (I’d imagine he towers over most of the other generals. Maybe like 6’8-7ft tall), but he’s still a little self conscious about it all. He can’t get around without making at least one stranger panicked at the sight of him. He was a person at birth, but his circumstances have completely changed everything

Also, I think he has the most underrated power concepts. I wanted to base him off of paragon falcons because imagine this guy diving straight at you at 240 mph with a trail of lightning behind him. I think a lot of Shang soldiers have described him as a sentient lightning bolt with how quick he is

Next is the Huang family! Which have more people so this yap session is gonna be way longer. Buckle up lol

I always saw Huang Feihu as this serious and commanding general, but he’s also that sweet old guy who’d drop the hardest wisdom when you needed it. It’s what makes him really generally well liked

Like when NeZha rescues him and his family, he expresses a lot of subtle gratitude to this stranger that just saved his family’s lives. NeZha, a little unused to this kind of affection, brushes it off initially. But it leaves a lasting impression that eventually leads to him really connecting with the rest of the family

Feihu really be pulling his weight as a single dad of 4 + NeZha /j

I know Lady Jia narratively serves as motivation for the Huang family to rebel, but if there’s one thing I’m known for it’s giving female characters all my attention like they deserve

I think Lady Jia is a foil to her husband. Where he was serious but sweet, she was sweet but serious. Always polite and quiet, but was very stubborn and more prideful. You could not get her to do something she didn’t want to

All their kids got their mother’s pride, especially after her death. Imagine being TianXiang, about 7 at the time, suddenly being thrusted into rebellion and grieving the lost of his mom. TianXiang stronger than me, I would not have survived

I was listening to the Ithica saga when I made these concepts, so I may have had a few EPIC Telemechus thoughts put onto him lol. TianXiang mainly takes after his dad, carrying a much stronger empathy that stems from him. He was a kid, so he did kid shenanigans even in the Zhou camps and any neighboring villages. But he’s got his father’s charm, how could you say no to him? Especially with everything going on

As for TianHua, he takes after his mom mainly. A prideful hothead who wants to do great things. I got a little confused about his origin in the translation I read, but I think he was taken away from his family by his master when he was like 3. Which means he never got a chance to connect with his mom as when he joins the rebellion she was long dead (oough imagine how jarring it was for him to come back only to be the brother that most resembles their mom)

Ultimately, their pride and emotions were what lead to the Huang family’s downfall. TianHua, in his pride and stubbornness to fight, ignores his master’s warning of his fate. His father and brothers next, fighting both the Shang army and their own grief over loosing another family member. And finally TianXiang, his pride to his family making him unwilling to acknowledge the Shang dynasty. Plus, he’s the last living member of his family, what is there to loose?

God this bloodline is so doomed…

I was gonna yap more about them all but I think I’ve already written a lot lmao. Maybe I’ll save some of those thoughts for another post

[artist-owl]

Just read The Goblin Emperor in 2 sittings interspersed only by sleep and holy heck I need to talk about it

(under a cut bc this got long)

- how tf can people say that nothing happens in this book EVERYTHING happens! It's not an action/adventure plot so most of the stuff is court intrigue and Maia frantically trying to stay afloat in it, but that is things! Not to mention getting thrown into all of the dense worldbuilding and names at once. I could follow along, but with some difficulty, especially at first - it was a great way to get into Maia's headspace.

- speaking of Maia: I love him.

- if anything happened to Maia I would kill everyone in this room and then myself

- luckily his household agrees with me there

- he's such a well written character. He's uninformed, but intelligent. He's trying his best, and does very well considering the circumstances, but he still has moments where the stress and loneliness of his position gets to him. Also moments where you really remember that he's 18. Frankly I love those moments.

- I like how the "character in powerful position shows that they're A Good One by being nice to the servants, unlike everyone else" trope was handled here. It can feel unconvincing and/or slapped on, but it makes sense here - his mother was from a culture where that's the norm, and she taught him to do that. Gave a realistic reason for him to think like that!

- I love Csevet for almost the opposite reason as Maia. Mans is Thee most competent person in the court, and seemingly was just Like That bc he was thrust into great power at the same time as Maia. I love how he's a bit of a priss and very strict about rules, yet is somehow one of the warmest figures in court to Maia.

- I really like Maia's complicated relationships with his parents and guardian. Love bordering on reverence for his mom bc she died when he was too young (also can we talk about how Chenelo was SIXTEEN when she married the emperor and had his kid?? She was younger than Maia now 😭). Apathy bordering on anger for his deadbeat emperor dad (it feels so realistic - Maia's mad at him for what he did, but also had Zero relationship with him so it's a really distant anger. Also the mans is already dead, so. No closure there either). And Setheris. Maia just quietly goes along with him in the beginning, exerts his power as emperor a few times to get him Away, but then after he's apart from him for a while everytime he sees him he ends up displaying a more overt panic response because Setheris still registers as a danger, but one that he's not as used to anymore. And Maia still doesn't want him dead, just away. It's all messy and tangled and so well written.

- also Beshelar losing his shit when he hears how Setheris abused Maia :) definitely the most humanizing moment from the character who Maia just sees as really judgemental for most of the story, and it does feel like a big turning point from "this kid's alright" to "if anything happens to Maia I will kill everyone in this room and then myself and not even because that is literally my job I would just do it"

- I just think Cala is neat :)

- I really like how Idra and Maia's relationship developed, and Idra as a character. You really get the sense that he has an entire life happening off-screen. Also I'm pretty sure Idra's sisters were the first people to hug Maia since his mom died and I'm normal about that :)

- it was fun to watch Csethiro warm up to Maia over time. I like how she expresses this by expressing her desire to throw down for him whenever the opportunity presents itself.

- I want to reread this immediately. Maybe with a notebook to mark names and relationships this time, that helped tremendously when I read the Silmarillion and I think it will be useful here too.

- I appreciate that the sequels were a spin-off series and that Maia's story is more or less complete as far as a compelling novel goes, but I need more. Does anyone have fic recs? Preferably ones that deal more with the interpersonal relationships of Maia's household than of the political drama?

[russellsppttemplates]

He's going to be so loved (Pierre Gasly)

You're afraid your children won't have all the love they deserved

Note: english is not my first language. this is another long piece that is about a sensetive topic that I have hopefully depicted with the respect it deserves.

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: pregnancy, curse words, family issues (reader has cut ties with her family)

"Y/N, chérie, how is little man treating you?", Pascale asked once you opened the door, allowing her and Charlotte, one of your sisters in law, inside the house, "he's a kicker, that's for sure! But he's been good lately, usually just needs me to tell him once and he'll stick to just move around", you giggled helping them with their coats before getting together in the kitchen, "I'm finishing my breakfast, do you want something while I finish? Some biscuits, tea, coffee? Oh, Pierre also made this cake with me yesterday, I had a big craving for it and it turned out really good!", you offered, "I'll have some tea, please. And maybe some cake too, although if Pierre made it, I might start with a small piece and see how it goes from there", Charlotte chuckled as she helped you bring the plates to the table.

The initial plan was to get a few smaller things that you still needed to get, like muslin cloths and such things, but like any other time you had shopped with company, you ended up with way too many bags filled with baby things. When you got home, Pierre had already arrived back from work, meeting you at the door and helping you carry the bags up, "Mon amour, how was your day?", he asked, kissing your lips and grabbing some bags, "it was good, my feet are a bit sore, but I really enjoyed spending time with them!", you exclaimed, reaching the nursery and putting the bags on the floor, your arms opening sp you could hug your husband, "I kept telling them that, as far as I know, there's only one baby here, but they insisted on getting all of this!", you giggled, feeling his hands rub your bump, "Our family is growing and they're very excited, it's just one of the ways they show how happy they are and their support too", he said, kissing your forehead.

To anyone, that would be a simple comment and it would brush them as quickly as it was said. But for you, it stayed playing in loop in your mind. The reminders that you did not have your family by your side came and went since you decided to keep away from them, especially when it came to big dates or important moments, but recently it had been a constant thought.

Cutting ties with your family had been the best decision, there isn't a day that you regret what you did. Having said that, it was still something you wished you could have in different circumstances. To have your mother share her experiences, to show you things from when you were little, to have your father teaching you and setting you set up the nursery and tell you all about your family's customs through the years.

Pierre's family had been incredible like always. They knew just enough about what happened with your family and not only respected it but also supported you in any way they could, taking you under their wing like you were one of their own from the beggining. The pregnancy had been received with massive excitement from everyone, and they kept calling whenever they had the chance, wanting to know how you were and if there was anything they could do to help you and Pierre in this journey. But lately, it had been a bit of a handful dealing with your thoughts.

.

"Can you grab the bag, please?", Pierre asked once he parked the car, checking something on the car before exiting it and lacing your hands once he got out, locking it and heading to the front door of Charles' place.

They had invited you over for baby Hervé's shower, welcoming you inside while you looked around, "we have a specific chair for you so you can be comfy", Charles said as he pointed to his wife, "she ordered me to do it", he chuckled, "hey! You don't know what it is to carry a baby around! It's hard work, and we both need to rest!", she reasoned with her husband, hugging you the best way you could before she introduced you to the people you didn't know. While they had a lot of friends and family you already knew, Charles' in laws were there too and you hadn't yet met some of them. They congratulated you, easily chatting up about everything and anything while you ate the snacks and drinks being passed around.

Pierre felt his body get a little bit lighter. It wasn't like your demeanor had changed that much in comparison to the last few days, but you certainly looked comfortable and like you were enjoying yourself.

"There's something on your mind, and I have time while they decorate biscuits. So, spill it", Charles noted, sitting next to Pierre on one of the high stools, sipping from his drink while he looked at his bestfriend. "Does Y/N seem off to you? Or has she seemed off to you recently?", he wondered looking at his wife admiring her work of art in the blue powdered sugar icing.

"I mean, she's lost some of her energy, but that's normal at this stage. You can't expect that she is running around now", Charles reasoned, not understanding where he was going, "it's just, I think she's been a little crestfallen, quieter than usual lately, and she hasn't said anything to me in that regard, she's been very quiet. I've tried to get her to talk, but she never says much", Pierre slumped his shoulders, "you just have to take it day by day. It's a lot these days, I'm sure you feel it, too. And they feel it even more. Family and friends are a great help, but there are some things they have to deal with on their own and it's hard to juggle all of it. She'll come to you whenever she feels ready, trust me", Charles patted his back.

.

You put all the baby clothes you had washed and dried in the hamper, supporting it comfortably on your side as you walked up to the nursery. The room was coming along well, the crib was already finished, just needing to be done with the softest sheets your skin has ever felt, and the rest of the furniture had been assembled whenever you and Pierre found the time to do it. Setting the clothes on top of the dresser, you opened the respective drawers to allocate every piece, taking the time and effort of remembering who had gifted them to your baby boy. Charles and his wife got matching sets so that both of the boys could look alike, Pascale had gotten way too many pieces for you to keep track on, claiming she was so excited to be a grandma again that she couldn't help herself anytime she saw something cute and had to get it.

Without noticing, tears started falling from your eyes and into the small pieces of clothing, marking them and creating a strain on your breath. Breathing in this late stage of pregnancy was already difficult, and sobbing wasn't helping it. You carefully walked to the chair you had put in the room so you'd have somewhere to sit during the night, proving its usefulness now as you tried to manage your emotions.

Pierre came out of the bathroom after his shower, already dressed and towell in hand so he could take it to the laundry room when he heard movement in the nursery. He didn't expect to see you like how he found you, cheeks red and tear stained and a trembling lip while you looked up at the ceiling.

"Hey, amour, what's the matter? Are you in pain?", he walked, throwing the towell on the corridor and kneeling in front of you, holding your hand in his while the other brushed the hairs out of your eyes. "I'm not in pain, I'm okay", you gulped, "but I haven't been feeling good. And I've wanted to talk to you, but I didn't want to bother you, even though you always say I could never bother you, but I'm telling you now, I guess", you blurted, receiving an encouragement nod from your husband.

Sighing, you played with his fingers, "lately, it dawned on me that my family isn't around for this, for me or for baby Alexandre, for us", you began, "and seeing Charles and his wife and everyone for there for Hervé, it got me thinking even more like, everyone was there to see them! To see the mother to be, to support her and congratulate her. And I'm not saying this in a bad way, because I'm so happy that they have it. And I know we have that from your family, I'm not complaining about them either. Everyone has been lovely, but fuck, I won't have my family supporting me. I won't have my father checking up on his little girl after she gave birth or have my mother share her experiences because the thought of having to be in the same room as them chills my bones. But that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt still, because it does", you cried, the attempt of looking up to stop the tears from flowing failing as Pierre carefully wiped them.

"How long have you been feeling like this, mon ange?", Pierre asked, now holding your face in his hands, "a little while, and the shower just made it a bit stronger, I think. Fuck, I sound like an awful person, I'm sorry", you apologised, "hey, no need for that. It's okay to feel like this, you don't have to feel guilty about your feelings", your husband reasoned.

"It is the best decision to keep away from them, I wouldn't change it for the world. But it will only be me passing down our traditions, and letting him know how things used to be, our language, our customs", you sniffed, wiping your nose on your sleeve, "because I don't want him to not know. It is a part of me that I'm proud of and I'm not letting my parents take that from me too", you breathed out. Rubbing your hands, your husband looked for your eyes, "and we will make sure he knows. Him and his siblings if we are fortunate along the way. I know a few words myself, and I'll help with all the traditions. I'll make your recipes, even if they don't taste as good, I'll teach them about all the holidays you celebrate and that we will celebrate too and I'll support you in anything you decide to do, I promise", he stated, smiling in hope you'd mirror his, the corners of your lips lifting a little.

"I know they're your family, but I'm sure that our little one is going to be so so so loved, he's going to be doted on by everyone", Pierre pointed out, "and we will make sure we do everything we can for that. And you are going to tell me everytime things get too much, okay? I hate to see you like this", he asked, earning a nod from you, "now, how about we sort these clothes so we can finally decide on the outfit he's wearing for when he comes home?", your husband teased you, "your brother gave us this little set he found and I think that's the one, let me show you it", you said, getting up and waddling to the pile of clothes, happily showing you the choice and smiling as you watched your husband's excitement about it all. Your little boy was going to be so loved, and it didn't have to be from a blood relationship.