#ambition of class mobility
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Am a fan of the character of 蔣簥 and despite my many issues with the show and its unremarkable writing, am rediscovering the reasons why it left an impression in my mind. Quite a few lessons to be gleaned here.
#TVB drama#Cantonese drama#AMBITION#孽吻#Amy Kwok#Gallen Lo#Michael Tao#old drama#there is something to be said about this very average drama#a show with lots of lessons acquired with the right framing#a whole dissertation could be written about red flags#ambition of class mobility#the fallacy of ‘choosing better’#intersectionality#this is not a tightly written or memorably performed show#but still offers quite a lot to ponder on#halfway through and yes#still love the main FC and her name here#thoughts on narcissistic psychopathy#and ‘masking’#and how it is quite impossible to avoid it if one is targeted#and yeah#no matter the villain’s sympathetic backstory#he is fully responsible for his many crimes#and he should have been punished more#he got off too easily#and stop putting blame on mothers#especially his mother who did her best with her circumstances#all faults lie with the villain himself and no one else
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one thing i really like about the apothecary diaries is how fluidly maomao moves between high- and low-class society, between the rear palace and the pleasure district, allowing us to see the parallels in the power dynamics. in both settings, we see women trying to make the most of their relative stations with whatever tools available to them, which are often shared. much of the politics of the series centers women and the ways they try to navigate the world through seduction, marriage, beauty, fashion, manipulation, etc, because these are the things they're valued for. their appearance, their social graces, their "purity", their marriageability, their ability to bear children, and beyond - these all lend political, economic, and social leverage to themselves and their families regardless of class.
the mystery angle in particular enables the story to closely examine what tools and motives are available to women in the apothecary diaries in a way that's contextualized and humanized. it's also how the series highlights said women operating with a keen awareness of society's expectations and systems. whether that's applying deathly white powder to maintain impractical beauty standards, faking illnesses to deter certain visitors, using parlor tricks to subtly punish callous men, or wearing ostentatious outfits to hide a certain truth, each mystery we encounter reveals more about what it means to navigate the world of the apothecary diaries as a woman in addition to revealing their cleverness (or lack thereof) in doing so.
maomao is no exception to the rule, often weighing similar questions of propriety and power before she acts - although she does engage from a unique position. she's a literate woman from the lower class with special circumstances surrounding her birth, versed as an apothecary, and favored by highly ranked members of the court. this, plus her marked lack of ambition beyond medicine, gives her a lot of mobility between and (relatively) unbiased insight into both the high- and low-ranked parts of society. in turn, we readers are given a fantastic protagonist to explore what i consider a core draw of the series: seeing how maomao chooses to move through the world, highly conscious of her own social positioning as well as that of all the other women around her
#the apothecary diaries#kusuriya no hitorigoto#maomao#my jessays#anime analysis#there's extremely light hints at content beyond the anime and even manga but i tried to be careful#kusuriya analysis#idr how to tag this for myself lmao i think tad stinks as an acronym frankly#anyway i love how much women are centered in the apothecary diaries it's truly delightful and i love seeing maomao connect with other women
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george russell for the ask game!
oh anon, I am absolutely devastated bc I typed a whole long answer to this on the bus home from the movies and tumblr mobile ate it!!! but I will try again, bc George deserves it
George is a fascinating mass of contradictions and I want to hug him at all times (we would look stupid, he's over a foot taller than me). George is clever and driven and baby-crazy and concerned about saying the wrong thing and open about his tough relationship with his dad! George is misread as capital-p Posh when he's actually a middle-class striver! George is fast and talented and the nakedness of his ambition makes people uncomfortable but he has a strong sense of duty! George had to be kicked out of the Williams discussions about signing Alex because he was too partisan!!! George parties with Fernando! George is so self-aware that he hurts himself with it! George is the leader of the GPDA!!!! George can be over-rehearsed but also cries in front of reporters!! George looks like Bambi and an alien and Michelangelo's David all at once, and the way I feel about him should be studied in a lab
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Lily. Is she just a popular Petunia? On the surface they’re two sisters that could hardly be more different, the elder unattractive, dull and untalented and the younger beautiful, vivacious and magical. But they both chose domineering upper class bullies. They’re both concerned with social respectability. They both place themselves in physical danger for their sons. And while I can’t see Lily shoving a child in a cupboard, she also seems to operate within the framework that violence is acceptable if she can justify to herself the victim deserves it. Lily gets called a Mary Sue a lot and I get why but I think JKR put just enough in there to make the case that that she’s as grey as her chosen company lol
This take on Lily as a “popular Petunia” gains even more depth when we consider their working-class backgrounds and how each ultimately chooses a partner who offers social mobility—though in questionable ways. Petunia finds security and an upward social shift by marrying Vernon, a man who embodies traditional middle-class respectability with all its rigid, judgmental values. Lily, on the other hand, ends up with James Potter, who, by magical standards, is akin to a wealthy, privileged elite. James’s status, confidence, and the power that comes with his family’s legacy mark a clear jump for Lily in the wizarding social hierarchy, just as Petunia’s life with Vernon marks a leap into conventional middle-class security in the Muggle world.
Both sisters align themselves with men who embody aspects of control and social status within their respective worlds, suggesting they value security and social respectability—even if it means overlooking or accepting certain flaws. Petunia tolerates Vernon’s small-mindedness and cruelty, while Lily accepts James despite his past as a bully and privileged figure. Yet Lily’s decision is often portrayed in a highly idealized way, with Rowling rarely delving into her motivations or background beyond her role as Harry’s mother. This lack of context is perhaps one of the biggest issues with Lily’s character: she’s preserved as an almost saintly maternal figure, untouchable and morally pure, which can feel one-dimensional and even hypocritical, especially when we learn about her past friendship with Snape. Rowling’s reluctance to explore Lily’s complexity leaves her moral standing somewhat hollow, given that she rejects Snape for his darker choices while forgiving James for his own troubling traits.
In the end, both Lily and Petunia are driven by a desire for social respectability and stability, but their different worlds shape those ambitions in distinct ways. By elevating Lily to an untouchable status as Harry’s “perfect” mother, Rowling misses the chance to flesh out the complexities that make her choices relatable, instead framing her as a near-flawless martyr. This leaves her character feeling almost like a “Mary Sue” figure, unable to reconcile the murkiness of her past or the double standards within her relationships.
#lily evans#lily potter#petunia evans#petunia dursley#vernon dursley#james potter#severus snape#harry potter#harry potter meta#harry potter analysis#harry potter headcanons
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Who do you ship Pandora with, if anyone? And how do you imagine her dynamic with said person?
lily, probably!
alright now that we’re hiding under the cut, let’s talk about the secret real answer. this is genuinely a diabolical Hear Me Out & we’re all pinky promising to put our delusion hats on okay….
lowkey…. it’s lucius malfoy 😭 i believe they ruined each other for all other people. it’s a haughty stuck-up social climbing failson & the strange sickly carnivorous girlinventor who haunts his waking dreams and nightmares.
LISTEN!!!! i know i sound completely bonkers but i’m entranced by the idea of a younger lucius (with much less status and wealth before his marriage into the black family), who is much scrappier & angrier & more pathetic & desperate & obsessed with upward class mobility & completely insane. he’s still the Worst, he’s just a lot more pitiful and unhinged and his obsequiousness is genuinely embarrassing.
and then there is pandora, who only has her brother, who turned down the option of being heir to an ancient pureblood house, who is as freakish & uncaring of other’s opinions as anyone can get . who is just as angry as him. and he pisses her off
i think they would hate each other but i also think she would sneak that smarmy slytherin weirdo into the greenhouse & he would kick petulantly at an overturned flowerpot & she might brush his hair back from his face. they would hate each other but he would be disgustingly in love with her (without admitting it) and she’d be surprised whenever he acted like a gentleman. she likes his ambition for political power and he likes hers for invention. i NEED to see lucius tortured with love for a disheveled hippie ravenclaw….
it’s bohemian artist x sleazy politician!!! it’s evilwife x pathetic cringefail husband!!!!! she could fix him (get him to share a blunt with her)!!!! they would never publicly associate with each other of course, but there’s a really combative mutual fondness / fascination there.
they’re coriolanus snow x lucy gray baird variants
#a#i’m actually a lunatic. let’s all promise to keep this one secret & never mention it again#ludora
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Idea: Bill's insistence that free will doesn't exist is just another cope so he doesn't have to take accountability for destroying his dimension
Oh yes, absolutely!
Also, It's also highly likely (and referring to previous posts) that he feels aversion or disgust towards the topic, mainly due to his own personal experience.
If the world of Euclydia bears even the slightest resemblance to Flatland's, then whatever has been sold to society as "free will" would be a complete scam.
Flatland, in itself, is a critique of Victorian England, focusing on the rigidity of the class system that characterized the era.
Society is governed by some kind of hierarchy in which rising up the social ladder is practically impossible, unless you already belong to the highest elites.
The rigidity that exists between social classes makes mobility between them literally impossible.
Within this context, the nature of this hierarchy consumes the lives of the inhabitants to the point where it becomes the center of all their motivations, incapacitating them from having other ambitions. They live by and for this. They oppress the lower classes, and claim violence against the weak is justified. They live by and for this. This is a self-absorbed, narcissistic, and rotten society that cannot see beyond their own selves.
Knowing this, anyone who says that "free will" exists in a society like this is either an ignorant or is just lying.
The number of sides you have decides your place in society, your profession, and every other aspect of your life.
Don’t agree with that? Get ready to be isolated from society, stigmatized, and in the worst case, sentenced to death.
Of course, seeing it this way, Bill was exposed to a society where free will could be considered an optical illusion, so it’s understandable that he firmly believes it doesn’t exist and even mocks it. Bill can’t help but project his problems onto others.
He watches us and sees us as an extension of Euclydia's failed society...
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I still can’t believe HOTD turned Addam into a coward. 😐 Instead of the brave boy from the book, who was assertive enough to claim a dragon to prove himself as a Velaryon, we got a joke sequence of Addam running away scared and then laying on the ground cowering before Seasmoke. GRRM is clearly not pleased with the show screwing up the dragonlore. Based off what we see in canon, it’s unwise to show excessive fear in front of dragons as that can be a death sentence. So show!Addam only became a dragonrider by accident, because the plot demanded it, and not because of his own merit.
The scene should’ve been Addam making an active choice to claim Seasmoke for himself. In the book, Addam was described as “relentless” and “determined”. HOTD should’ve portrayed Addam taking matters into his own hands and going out of his way to claim Seasmoke as a way to earn Corlys’ approval. Instead we got Seasmoke randomly dropping on Addam from the sky. Claiming a dragon was the key for the dragonseeds to obtain upwards social mobility and join the ranks of the noble class. That is the reason they all participated in the Red Sowing in the first place. Hugh & Ulf are shown to have motivations for claiming a dragon, but where is Addam’s motivation in the show? Why is he not allowed to actively pursue his ambition to rise higher?
Even after that awful scene of Addam & Seasmoke in episode 6, I thought perhaps HOTD would still let Addam show the same assertive nature of his book counterpart, now that he’s finally become a dragonrider. He would fly to High Tide to confront his father and make Corlys acknowledge him because he’s no longer okay with being ignored. Except in episode 7, Addam continued to be a passive character. He tells Rhaenyra that he had no design on becoming a dragonrider; he’s just very happy to be of service to her.
The book version of Addam was willing to claim the Driftwood Throne for himself, though it meant pushing aside Rhaenyra’s son, Joffrey. During the Fall of King’s Landing, he didn’t just follow the example of the other dragonseeds, but took the initiative to act separately. He also escaped the dragonpit rather than submit to an unlawful arrest. Then he set out to clear his name from the false accusations instead of just sitting around to wait the war out. Fire & Blood consistently portrayed Addam as the type of person who takes control of his life in his own hands, who acts according to his own choices, and not solely what his superiors tell him to do. The only one whose will Addam was beholden to was his (grand)father, Corlys, and that’s because they have mutually aligned interests; it’s through his relationship with Corlys that Addam can connect to his Velaryon side, which is the sole reason he’s involved in the war to begin with. It’s such blatant character assassination for HOTD to portray Addam as a passively obedient figure. Rhaenyra says one word to him and he’s immediately bending the knee. After that, he’s just quietly obeying every order given to him. Alyn tells him to stop dreaming big and so Addam has to downplay himself, and he just goes along with being a passive character. 🙄
The duality between duty and defiance is one of the major themes in Addam’s story. Why bother adapting the character if you’re going to remove half of what defines him as a person?
The show didn’t even include the scene of Addam swiftly saving his little brother from the much larger wild dragon, Sheepstealer (who had already killed plenty of other dragonseeds that appeared before him). Although if that event happened in show canon, I guess Addam would just run away scared again.
#asoiaf#house of the dragon#addam velaryon#addam of hull#corlys velaryon#rhaenyra targaryen#joffrey velaryon#hugh hammer#ulf white#alyn velaryon#alyn of hull#seasmoke#sheepstealer#text#the writing on this show is fucking ridiculous#everything is either an accident or a misunderstanding
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Character Timeline: Pilar Rodriguez Luna
Pilar's timeline goes along with Angeline's, which you can read here!
1868:
Pilar is born to a working-class mestizo family (European and Mixtec ancestry) in Oaxaca, Mexico. She is assigned male at birth and raised as a boy.
She’s educated at parochial school, where she does well, known for her lively intellect and predisposition for music, dancing, and sculpture.
1896:
Pilar goes to the capital, Mexico City, to study law, but while she’s there, she makes tons of friends in the theater scene. She especially develops a taste for puppetry, inspired by the tradition of carnival and mask folk art which originated from Black and Indigenous Mexicans. She learns craftsmanship from artisans and develops a small following among both lower and upper classes.
1898:
As she ages, Pilar discovers that she feels uncomfortable with manhood, and she attributes this to her attraction for both men and women. She begins incorporating female impersonation in some of her acts, and she has relationships with both men and women.
1899:
Pilar gets more involved in leftist anarchist circles, specifically with the Partido Liberal Mexicano. At this point, she’s making a living performing, including for the ruling elite, but revolutionary messages and themes creep into her shows.
(At this time, Mexico was in a period called the Porfiriato, a dictatorship under Porfirio Diaz. Upper and upwardly-mobile classes were prosperous thanks to Diaz’s laissez-faire policies attracting US investors. But the working and lower classes suffered, especially many Indigenous people in the Yucatan, who were basically enslaved.)
1900:
After a Partido Liberal uprising that the military crushes, one of Pilar’s performances is a little too obvious in its symbolism—a herd of pigs stampedes a jaguar, causing other jaguars to send the pigs to their bloody demise. The next day, soldiers search Pilar’s apartment, and she’s banned from performing further.
Pilar continues to perform in secret, but one of her clandestine performances is raided, too, and she’s arrested. The experience leaves her shaken. Her comrades begin to fear for her life. They make arrangements for her to flee to the United States.
One of the operatives who knows about Pilar’s sexuality confides in her that he’s heard that since London was swallowed into the earth, its attitudes regarding sex and gender have loosened up. There’s also something about a Moonlit Chessboard where it’s possible to tip the scales of power in ways that you can’t do in the waking world. Pilar’s interest is piqued, and she asks if she could be sent as an agent there.
For the arduous journey to London, Pilar “disguises” herself as a woman. Then she arrives in London and just…doesn’t take the disguise off. The only puppet she has left with her is a small marionette of a woman that, secretly, is what she’s always hoped to look like.
1899 (1901):
Pilar has started Neath HRT and begun to learn English. To pay the bills, she goes back to puppetry, experimenting with all the new materials and figures available in the Neath. She spends time at Wilmot’s End, studies the mirrors, finds Parabola and the Chessboard.
1899 (1902):
Pilar’s puppetry career has taken off more than ever. She’s always pushing the boundaries of what she can do with both practical effects and Silverer-ing. But she is notoriously difficult to pin down for fans and the press, earning her the moniker “the Flighty Puppeteer.” Though she doesn’t have many close friends, she’s happy enough.
Then she hears that one of her lovers back in Mexico has been killed, jump-starting her Nemesis ambition. And in her dreams of the chessboard, there’s one Red Bishop who, it seems, plans all her moves not to further the Red cause in general—but to corner Pilar.
#pilar rodriguez#angeline hui#my reference people for pilar are: jim henson and chappell roan if that gives you an idea about what she's like lmao#i gotta draw her in some wild looks sometime#police violence
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[“Our institutions have socialized us to scarcity, creating artificial resource shortages and then normalizing them. For example, because the residents of affluent neighborhoods have been so successful at blocking the construction of new housing in their communities, developers have turned their sights on down-market neighborhoods, where they also meet resistance, often from struggling renters fretting about gentrification.
As this dynamic has repeated itself in cities across America, the debate about addressing the affordable housing crisis and fostering inclusive communities has turned into a debate about gentrification, one pitting low-income families who have stable housing against low-income families who need it. But notice how contrived and weird this is, how our full range of action has been limited by rich homeowners essentially redlining their blocks. Or consider how a scarcity mindset frames so much of our politics, crippling our imaginations and stunting our moral ambitions. How many times have we all heard legislators and academics and pundits begin their remarks with the phrase “In a world of scarce resources…,” as if that state of affairs were self-evident, obvious, as unassailable as natural law, instead of something we’ve fashioned?
The United States lags far behind other advanced countries when it comes to funding public services. In 2019, France, Germany, the Netherlands, Italy, and several other Western democracies each raised tax revenues equal to at least 38 percent of their GDPs, while the United States’ total revenues languished at 25 percent. Instead of catching up to our peer nations, we have lavished government benefits on affluent families and refused to prosecute tax dodgers. And then we cry poor when someone proposes a way to spur economic mobility or end hunger? Significantly expanding our collective investment in fighting poverty will cost something. How much it will cost is not a trivial affair. But I would have more patience for concerns about the cost of ending family homelessness if we weren’t spending billions of dollars each year on homeowner tax subsidies, just as I could better stomach concerns over the purported financial burden of establishing a living wage if our largest corporations weren’t pocketing billions each year through tax avoidance. The scarcity mindset shrinks and contorts poverty abolitionism, forcing it to operate within fictitious fiscal constraints. It also pits economic justice against climate justice. When lawmakers have tried to curb pollution and traffic gridlock through congestion pricing, for instance, charging vehicles a fee if they enter busy urban neighborhoods during peak hours, critics have shot down the proposal by claiming it would hit low-income workers in transit deserts the hardest. In many cases, this is true. But it doesn’t have to be. We allow millions to live paycheck to paycheck, then leverage their predicament to justify inaction on other social and environmental issues. Politicians and pundits inform us, using their grown-up voice, that unfortunately we can’t tax gas-guzzling vehicles or transition to green energy or increase the cost of beef because it would harm poor and working-class families. My point isn’t that these tradeoffs aren’t pertinent but that they aren’t inescapable. They are by-products of fabricated scarcity.”]
matthew desmond, from poverty: by america, 2023
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The Ambition of Eleanor Cobham
One of the questions I have about Eleanor Cobham is just how much anxieties around her social mobility, her gender, class and sexuality, have impacted the way she was viewed and is now remembered. So Take, for instance, her ambition.
We know she was ambitious because, well, we know. Everyone says so, it must be true. But the idea of her ambition rests on two pieces of evidence. The first is her social mobility itself. That she went from damsel to concubine to wife and duchess. The second is her downfall, the accusations that she had employed witchcraft to bring about the king's death and ensure her rise to to queen.
The first seems to confirm the second, the second the first. But when we separate the two, when we don't automatically assume that Eleanor was ambitious, and look at each incident on their own, then they don't necessarily confirm anything.
Let's start with the witchcraft accusations. I could write thousands upon thousands of words about the accusations themselves so I'll try to be brief. The main accusation against Eleanor and her associates (Roger Bolingbroke, Thomas Southwell, John Hume and Margery Jourdemayne) was that, on Eleanor's instigation, Bolingbroke, with Southwell and Hume assisting, had drawn up Henry VI's nativity chart that predicted he would die soon, unless he managed to avert this future through prudence. They then publicised this prediction, with the intention being that the common people people to withdraw their love from him (apparently, being king was a bit like being Tinkerbelle - if people didn't believe in you, you ceased to exist). The indictments for Bolingbroke, Southwell and Hume suggest that they were imagined to have used demonic assistance to draw up the chart. It's not clear what role Margery Jourdemayne played in this plot.
The accusations against Eleanor also seem to have included love and fertility magic. Eleanor was accused of using love magic to induce Humphrey, Duke of Gloucester to marry her and the marriage was annulled as a result of this idea. It's possibly in this area, not in the necromancy and astrology, that Margery was involved.
The main motivation ascribed to Eleanor throughout is her ambition. Her only motivation mentioned by chroniclers is that she wanted to know to which estate she would come. Which means she wanted to know if she would become queen which means she wanted to become queen which means she wanted Henry VI to die. In short, she was imagined as desiring the death of Henry VI to ensure her rise to the top - and, retrospectively, her status-defying marriage was recast as one of coercion born from her ambition.
There is no real consensus between historians on Eleanor's guilt or innocence of these accusations. It's fairly common to find the idea that she was guilty of "no more than foolishness" or curiosity or fertility magic, and that the idea that the charges were exaggerated or politicised. But there some historians who think she was completely and utterly guilty, and there is no evidence for there being a conspiracy against Eleanor or Humphrey.* There is also an idea that Eleanor was entirely set up, though this is fairly rare to find from historians.
While we can't acquit Eleanor, we can't convict her. Which means there is reason to doubt the accusations against her are proof of her guilt and proof of her character. And even the accusations were true, that she wanted to know when Henry VI would die, her motivations may have been less two-dimensional and more complex than "ambition". Concerns about Henry's health, mental or physical, may have been behind Eleanor's alleged inquiry, as well as insecurity about her position should Henry die and Humphrey succeed him. We certainly can't take her admission of using fertility magic as "proof" of her ambition and treason, as some historians have done. Her society was deeply patriarchal and based on primogeniture, it would be natural for her own to have felt anxiety about her lack of children and try to remedy it. Not long after Humphrey's death, anxiety about the succession would become an open issue, publicly remarked upon, but it seems logical to imagine that this anxiety was present before Humphrey's death and before Eleanor's downfall. Henry VI was unmarried and childless, his heir was an ageing uncle who had no legitimate children. Even if it wasn't openly expressed, the wider ramification of their childlessness would have affected Eleanor. If she and Humphrey had a child, it would have relieved this anxiety. Yes, it would mean she might become the king's mother (assuming she survived the birth, assuming she outlived both Henry VI and Humphrey) but accusing her of callous ambition because she wanted to have a child in the middle of this anxiety seems a very narrow view.
I'd also add that while her admission of using fertility magic seems very reasonable, it may not have been true - she may have cracked under pressure and admitted to it in effort to stop the questioning. She may have attempted to acquit herself of the more serious charges by admitting to something lesser.
At any rate: we cannot take it as a given that the witchcraft accusations were true and we cannot take it as a given that they were proof of her ambition. What they might tell us, instead, that she was perceived in a way that made her vulnerable to such allegations. Whether that perception had any basis in reality is not known or recoverable. In other words, the idea that the accusations "prove" her ambition must remain doubtful.
To move onto the first piece of evidence, the idea that Eleanor married Humphrey out of ambition... this is even harder to be certain of.
That Eleanor made a status-defying match is clear. That she made a meteoric transformation from damsel to concubine to wife to duchess is undeniable. That this would arouse suspicions of ambition and greed - and of witchcraft - is also obvious. But does it actually mean Eleanor was ambitious? That she deliberately seduced Humphrey to rise herself?
It does appear that the idea of a high-status man being seduced, manipulated or bewitched by an ambitious woman of lower-status to fall in love with them was the standard explanation for these matches in the first place. Alice Perrers was accused in Parliament of bewitching Edward III, Katherine Swynford was figured as having bewitched John of Gaunt by chroniclers, Anne Boleyn was accused by her enemies of bewitching Henry VIII (though witchcraft was not a charge laid against her), while Elizabeth Woodville's marriage to Edward IV was sometimes accredited to sorcery performed by herself and her mother, Jacquetta of Luxembourg. All women were presented as ambitious in their witchery. Eleanor's alleged seduction and bewitchment of Humphrey thus fits into a pattern where the women of lower status were figured as overly ambitious and employing witchcraft to seduce a high-status man into loving and potentially marrying them. While most people accept that witchcraft and magic aren't real (or, while "real" to the people who use them, have no real power), these accusations become transformed into proof that these women were beguiling temptresses, raised to rise and/or driven by ambition or a desire for self-aggrandisement, that they used their sexual wiles to manipulate men into loving them.To put it another way: the woman was an ambitious witch-whore and the man her hapless victim, a sexual weakling.
Of course, it's possible that one or more of these women were really ambitious, that they did set out to seduce their lover. But we should be careful to accept the misogynist constructions of medieval and early modern chroniclers and commentators as factual evidence, particularly when we see this same idea presented over and over again.
It's also interesting to note how the idea of any of the women mentioned in the example as "ambitious" loses or gains currency depending on the view of the woman. For example, the idea of the ambitious Katherine Swynford only has currency in Ricardian/Yorkist circles where it is used to denigrate the Tudors' Beaufort heritage; she is more likely to be figured as a romantic heroine than an ambitious upstart. Similarly, the view of Elizabeth Woodville as an ambitious schemer tends to have greater currency amongst those Ricardians who figure her as Richard III's enemy and those who use her as a repository for the misdeeds of Edward IV, while those more sympathetic to her see the story as a misogynist smear. Similarly, Anne Boleyn might be a romantic heroine, victim or a cold-hearted schemer depending on where one's opinions on her lie. For Katherine, Elizabeth and Anne, their status-defying marriages can be construed as proof of romantic intentions. Katherine, in particular, is almost universally rendered a romantic heroine because of her transformation from governess to mistress to duchess.
Neither Eleanor nor Alice appear to have been read as sympathetically, perhaps because the nature of their downfalls seem to confirm the view of them as ambitious upstarts and/or because there is no popular counter-narrative seeking to redeem them. Or perhaps it is the obscurity of their lives outside the misogynist vitriol of chroniclers or the lack of a great dynasty descended from them that makes this negative view of them seem so tempting.
But to view a concubine or a woman marrying up as either a romantic heroine or an ambitious schemer places her in a binary and relegates her to two different stereotypes, both with misogynist elements (reducing a woman down to her romantic life is a form of misogyny). Recent scholarship on medieval mistresses have acknowledged the power dynamic between them and raised the possibility of coercion. In Women in the Medieval Court: Consorts and Concubines, Rebecca Holdorph notes that:
Given the power dynamic, many women and their families would have found it ill-advised or impossible to resist the advances of a nobleman or king. Some families probably encouraged women to acquiesce to a powerful man's demands, whether or not those demands were welcome.
In other words, a woman's ability to consent to the relationship may have been compromised; she may have faced pressure from her family, her lover or from both. I don't say this to mean "every mistress was coerced" but to raise the probability that some mistresses may have limited choices in their relationships. It is impossible to tell when this was the case with Eleanor or, indeed, any mistress; evidence expressing their perspectives on their lover or situation simply does not exist. Ruth Mazo Karras, in Unmarriages, raises the possibility that the union between a concubine and her elite lover could be arranged between the woman's family and her lover similar to how a marriage would be arranged. If so, Eleanor's relationship with Humphrey may have been begun through an agreement between he and her father, than through her own actions.
How Eleanor would explain how and why she entered a relationship with Humphrey and why she married him cannot be recovered. She may well have been ambitious and used her body to rise. She may have felt she had little to no choice, that pressure from her family or from Humphrey was too much to resist. She may have fallen in love with him or felt he was a kindred spirit - they seem to have shared intellectual interests. She may have been motivated by a combination of these reasons or more. In short, the idea that her relationship with Humphrey was borne of her own ambition is unknowable and cannot be "proof" of her character.
There is little evidence for Eleanor's ambition outside these things. In a letter petitioning Eleanor, she is referred to "the right high and full mighty princess and full gracious lady Duchess of Gloucester", but this seems like a more standard address of a high-ranking noblewoman than proof that Eleanor demanded to be referred to in such terms. It might tell us that this was how she was perceived as wanting to be addressed and seen as but it does not tell us if this was something she actually felt and believed.
While Humphrey's manor at Greenwich known as La Pleasaunce was a grand manor house and tower that emphasised his stature and was associated with Eleanor to some degree, it is also clear from Rachel Delman's discussion of Margaret of Anjou's building work at Pleasaunce that the residence as Margaret received it was not grand enough for a queen. Eleanor did not construct and build with Humphrey a home that overemphasised her status or revealed her ambition to be queen..
Basically, the main pieces for evidence for Eleanor's ambition are open to doubt. If Eleanor was innocent of treason and did not want Henry VI dead or if Eleanor married Humphrey for love or for some other motive, then the view of her ambition changes dramatically. In the end, the belief in her ambition becomes a product of circular logic. We know she was ambitious because she seduced Humphrey and attempted to murder Henry VI with magic to become queen. We know she did those things out of ambition because we know she was ambitious. We know she was ambitious because---
And the view of her ambition is a stereotype. Most people desire to improve their standing in life, few do it such two dimensional, caricaturing ways. The real Eleanor, even if she was driven by ambition, was probably more complicated than the cold-hearted, scheming seductress she is usually presented as. The (unevidenced) claim that she was "raised to rise" may well be a story of a girl and woman who was exploited and pimped out by her family seeking to find security. The view of her callously trying to determine when Henry VI would die may well have been a desperate move by a woman who felt threatened by her husband's enemies and seeking to gain a powerful position from which she, not they, would have power. This all builds off the idea that the accusations were true and that she was ambitious, clearly - but attempting to give her more complexity than "she's an evil ambitious witch". She may well have been moved by love and a desire for children, not ambition at all. The point is: she could have been anything.
*The idea that Eleanor was completely guilty and there is no evidence of a politicised attack has become quite a common pattern amongst historians writing revisionist histories of 15th century figures who are known as Humphrey's adversaries, namely the Beauforts and William de la Pole, Duke of Suffolk. Most also treat Humphrey very harshly, and in these cases it is clear that Eleanor is treated as no more than an extension of him.
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Question for the brit’sh folks: I was thinking about hogwart houses and their value systems and about how JK shows her bias towards these value systems. She holds Gryffindor values in very high regard but seems to look down on Slytherin. One of her biggest issues seems to be that of the ambition trait. Ambition is almost always portrayed as a negative quality to the point that those who aren’t even in Slytherin with this trait are treated quite poorly by the narrative (Percy you deserve better).
I’ll admit right now that I don’t truly understand the class system in the UK. (I’ve found myself asking “wait what jobs do the Malfoys and Blacks even have? Where is this money coming from” And then I have to remind myself that they’re old money aristocrats types). I’ve made attempts to get it but I’m still a bit perplexed. So as an American reader some things in the series completely went over my head and I’ve had to have them be pointed out for me to even notice them (thank you Snape meta writers!).
As an American reader it is a little strange that ambition is held in such contempt in this series. The whole thing about America is to try to do better than your parents did, to move up in life, to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and achieve that American dream! So when you start analyzing the series with that perspective it is a bit puzzling.
So I guess my questions are: Is JKR’s aversion to ambition a “her problem” or is this a general view that the British class structure encourages. Or to put it a different way, does British society look down upon upwards economic mobility? And if so what are other ways this is reflected in the series?
For a more general question: Is the idea of the American dream in contrast with traditional British values? If so, what do these culture clashes look like?
(Also I’m not asking if you personally as a British citizen have a problem with ambition but more trying to understand UK culture and society)
#this is giving sophomore English class#im expecting a 5 paragraph essay in MLA format on my desk by Tuesday or else we’re not watching great gatsby (2013) on Friday!#guys I’m sorry#someone let me know if I sound stupid#I’m trying!#I just feel like as an American it’s kinda hard to really understand british classism because it seems pretty different than the classism -#we have over here#hp meta#harry potter fandom#harry potter meta#hp#harry potter#gryffindor#slytherin#wizarding world#britain#british culture#uk#percy weasley#snapedom#pro snape#hogwarts houses
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Bandai Taketh Away
12 Days of Aniblogging 2023, Day 1
Last year I wrote a post extolling the virtues of Birdie Wing, 2022’s breakthrough “how the fuck did this get made” mafia golf campfest. It’s the little show that could, animated on a shoestring budget to an audience of maybe two dozen extremely online yuri fans who tried their hardest to get literally anyone else to watch it.
It was almost certainly a financial failure for Bandai Namco, whose hopes for kicking off a VR-focused franchise fizzled in real time during season 1. But the resulting anime was a blast, a shoujo sports melodrama where literally anything could happen.
Birdie Wing took a few seasons off between its cours, during which Bandai Namco’s second lesbian anime of the year began airing: Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury. My jaw dropped as I watched the first episode recreate Utena’s setup beat for beat, including the female main character taking another girl as her fiancé. It’s a gutsy move which set my expectations high. G-Witch was my introduction to Gundam, and the highs of the first season were amazing. Even if I had some occasional complaints with the pacing, the cliffhanger ending and narrative ambition left me very excited for more.
Season 2 of Birdie Wing was set to fill the gap between cours of G-Witch, but ~something~ happened behind the scenes. It ended up being delayed to Spring 2023, where the two shows would air together. Great! That means double the lesbians. Or…zero?
Fair warning: From here on out I will be both a hater, and a spoiler.
Both seasons start without a hitch. G-Witch finally pops the safety bubble of its setting, with a terrorist attack on the academy followed up by an episode from the viewpoint of Dawn of Fold soldiers trying to survive a retaliatory crackdown from the Spacians. It pulled no punches with its violence and war orphans and trauma, a good sign for the struggles that awaited the main cast. Meanwhile, Birdie Wing continued to pay tribute to old-school Class S after its boarding school arc by involving its cast in a nightmare incest soap opera concerning Eve and Aoi’s parentage and the sins of the previous generation. Both are great developments for their respective shows, suggesting plenty of good stuff ahead.
Unfortunately, this is when both of these shows begin to fall apart. Eve and Aoi manage to beat the incest allegations, but afterwards their relationship just…stops. Their chemistry all but dissipates, the homoerotic rivalry giving way to their personal relationships with golf instead of with each other. The plot keeps the two of them apart as much as possible, devoid of the angsty longing from season 1, as the girls each succumb to a different form of golf cancer (even without the gay-baiting, at least Birdie Wing is still insane).
For G-Witch, a much more ambitious anime, this decline manifests as a creeping realization that they’re simply going to drop most of the open plot threads. The show takes its sweet time, even as it becomes clear that it’s barreling towards a finale at 24 episodes. The long-awaited plot twists are handled fine, I guess. But any sense that the show is aiming for greatness fades away, as it simply tries to drag itself to the finish line, buckling under its own weight. What we see on screen is what we get, and you’ll have to fill in the blanks yourself to really be happy. The Earthian-Spacian conflict ends up as mere set-dressing, and characters who clearly had intertwined backstories never even get the chance to interact. The obvious examples are the man who killed Suletta’s dad in the prologue resurfacing and that never really coming up, and everything to do with Chuchu and Nika’s backstories. I’m not here to nitpick, but it’s a shame that everyone’s characterization is left so thin. G-Witch really feels like it was meant to be a full 50-episode series, and I’m led to believe that this trimming down happened during production, as there’s just no other reason to set so much up without resolving it.
At last we reach each show's conclusion. Birdie Wing is saddled with a final arc full of professional tournaments, which is always going to be weaker than the dirty mafia golf on a conceptual level. The timeline begins to rapidly accelerate and suddenly we’re skipping ahead months, and then entire years. We don’t get to see most of Eve and Aoi’s final game, or even the period of time where they reconcile. An enduring friendship and rivalry is implied at the end, but it’s nowhere near the mutual obsession that the prior season depicted. Not an ounce of queerbait remains, even for the terminally yurigoggled such as myself.
Meanwhile, G-Witch dedicates some of its precious final minutes to a fight with Lauda (Jesus Christ is the Schwartzette is wasted on him), and just like Birdie Wing the two girls at the heart of the show barely get any time together as the end draws near. They ultimately opt for a Macross-Symphogear ending in which Suletta pilots a Gundam that shoots gay rainbow lasers and defeats her mom with the power of love and friendship. That’s fine! But that’s the ending for a show that didn’t happen! In its last act G-Witch retreats into its shell, unable to commit to the moral weight of the world it had built up. Laughably, the epilogue time-skips to a neoliberal utopia where Miorine solves the earth-space conflict through her sheer girlboss acumen. Suletta and Miorine’s gay wedding is implied at best, and an after-credits message states that this is the conclusion of The Witch from Mercury as a story, prematurely killing any potential follow-up.
The rest is history. Kadokawa redacts an interview to remove references to Suletta and Miorine being married, Bandai releases a statement that their status at the end of the show should be left up to interpretation, and everyone is mad forever.
What happened? Both of these shows fell apart at the same time, and both in a manner that defused their implicit queerness. Birdie Wing was always a bit of a trainwreck even at its best, so in a vacuum I would have just concluded that the production ran out of steam, unable to live up to its earlier writing. But the timing of Season 2’s delay, combined with the corporate meddling that affected G-Witch, makes me downright conspiratorial. Something went down at Bandai Namco, and it led to them ordering their productions be revised halfway through to scrub out all the gay shit and play things safe. I wouldn’t be surprised if this occurred at the same time as G-Witch was trimmed down from its initial 50 to 24 episodes with no chance of a continuation. It’s also not too much of a stretch to imagine Birdie Wing receiving a “stick to sports" mandate and Yosuke Kuroda subsequently phoning it in. I don't know how else to say it: there's no reason to do an incest fakeout if you're not even going to follow up on it afterwards once you've gone through the difficult work of exonerating them.
Witch from Mercury was a commercial success (it sold a shitton of gunpla, at least!) so it seems like a surprise that Bandai Namco would clamp down creatively in such a destructive way. Or maybe not. This may be the first female-led Gundam, but in a lot of other ways it’s fairly restrained as far as Gundams go. Perhaps BN decided that G-Witch had to be a balancing act to please everyone, preventing the creative staff from truly swinging for the fences in the end. Of course, that backfired horribly and they ended up pissing off himejoshis and regular mecha fans alike. I know it’s something of a fool’s errand to expect undeniable LGBT representation from anime, but when you begin with an explicit Utena homage, I expect better.
This has all been a bit of a downer, so I wanted to end things by sharing the anime I watched this year that actually gave me what I wanted out of those two shows.
Watching through the original Mobile Suit Gundam made me realize just how conservative G-Witch is in a lot of its storytelling. 0079 is a deeply radical show for its time, and still would be if you made it today. The unhesitating depiction of war and death through the aesthetics of a 70’s children’s show is particularly bold, and even the parts of the anime notorious for being overlong successfully reinforce the overall mood of the work. Amuro’s transformation from innocent child to unrelenting psychic soldier is as inevitable and upsetting as it should be, and even with all the “filler” the script feels much tighter than the G-Witch, which ambles around with side stories that don’t resolve and characters that don’t go anywhere. Imminently watchable. I love that the mommy issues in Gundam go all the way back, and I'm also starting to understand why you fuckers have been arguing about Char Aznable for 40 years.
you.
I also watched Kakegurui this year, which served as a great alternative to Birdie Wing. It doubles down on the best parts of that show – mostly-female cast, high stakes gambling, dubious lesbian rep – with an all-consuming sleaze to it. Grab some friends who aren't easily scandalized and try not to worry too hard about gaze or the intended audience, and it will be a hoot. The production values are great, even if most of it inevitably goes to girls making upsetting faces. The first opening in particular is an animation highlight. Of course, this is a MAPPA production, so they’re far too busy flaying their workers alive in the pits of hell to ever get around to another season. May their company unionize or perish.
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misery / chapter one
Sequel to Who Is This Person Nine months after the catfishing incident and Sanji still can't catch a break. After a major arguement with Zoro on the night of his birthday, Zoro breaks it off entirely claiming to have found someone new. Sanji moves on and meets Charlotte Pudding, a popular food infulencer, whom he develops a superficial but pleasant relationship with. However, news gets around that Zoro goes missing and Sanji can't help but dig into what happened. read on ao3
authors note: Well shit. After my much-needed hiatus, I am back with a sequel to Who Is This Person? Sorry for the delay in this story, I tend to have a relationship with One Piece where I binge 200 episodes then don’t watch it for a year. A lot has happened recently. I had a mental breakdown, it was incredibly suicidal and I'm currently in recovery from that. The Counseller I'm seeing while I’m waiting for a diagnosis said I should go back to writing fanfiction (as my last happy period was when I started this account) I was also really into JJK for a while but I’m dwindling back into One Piece. Sorry, this is who I am XD Anyway, all that aside, I’m so excited to be working on this story again. I really enjoyed writing Who Is This Person so I’m here to give you all Misery.
The buzzing of his phone brought Sanji into alertness. He had been pulling an all nighter studying for his exams and only the incessant beeping of his mobile device could bring him out of it. He looked at the clock seeing that it was two in the afternoon. He had slept in quite significantly.
A lot had happened since the so called ‘Zoey incident’. That was nearly a year ago now. Nine months exactly. In the aftermath, Sanji tried to move on with his life. He had a renewed sense of vigor about his ambitions and wanted to climb higher. Sanji had been nonstop pestering Zeff about being made a sous chef. See, he was fine with just being a regular chef, but he saw himself aiming a bit higher. Zeff...as always said no. The old man never directly said any of this, but he didn’t want Sanji to become tied down the Baratie. Again, Zeff never said this but always seemed to push Sanji to explore more options. He wanted him to aim higher than being here.
Culinary School seemed like the next step which...had kept him busy. Enrolling had kept him busy. Classes, assignments and then the practical tests seemed to consume his time more than working at the Baratie ever had. He sometimes almost forgot about nine months ago.
Almost
It took Sanji a few moments to wake up fully as he sat up in his bedroom. He still lived in the same place. He looked out of the window from where he was sitting. He didn’t intend on leaving his room today. But once he felt ready to see the message, he grabbed his yawn and with a big yawn and a stretch, he was ready to open the message. It was from Luffy. It had been a few days since he had seen Luffy. He hadn’t been working nights, so he didn’t even get to see Luffy that way. Every now and then, Luffy will send messages begging for Sanji to close so he can come and take the food he used to almost a year ago.
L: SANJI
L: ANSWER ME
L: angryface angryface
L: WHERE ARE YOU?
And the rest of the messages were angry gifs and angry faces. Sanji watched them roll in. It seemed that Luffy had been trying to get a hold of him. It wasn’t long before Sanji replied.
S: Sorry I was asleep.
S: What do you want?
L: LMAO were you sleeping during the day?
S: Some of us are busy and work.
L: I WORK
S: Bothering Shanks at his job doesn’t count as work.
L: > : (
S: Okay. What did you message me for?
L: I need you at the Baratie! Tonight. 7.
S: I’m not working at 7 just for you to get freebies.
L: No no as like a not work thing?
L: YOU DON’T NEED TO WORK.
L Is what I’m tryingt o say
L: *trying to say*
L SANJI IT’S SO IMPORTANT PLEASE COME AT 7.
Sanji frowned, rubbing his eyes of the sleep that was still there. What did Luffy have to message him about a surprise for. He didn’t respond just yet. He stretched his muscles feeling all the tension in his back from sitting at the desk all night. Then, he replied.
S: Fine. I’ll be there.
Sanji tossed his phone to the side and then stood up. He shook off the remnants of sleep. Seeing as his plans of lazing were finished, he decided to have a shower. Just a quick shower before getting stressed and going into the kitchen where he made himself a strong cup of coffee. As the coffee machine hummed and the smell of Arabic coffee roamed in the kitchen, his mind began to drift as it often did when he was alone.
Zeff was right. He often was about these things. Going to school had broadened his horizons. It challenged him on the way he thought about food. It had been good for him.
However, his mind often went back to one person and no matter how much he tried to forget, he still thought about him.
He made his cup of coffee and sat down at the table.
Zoro. Even just thinking about him made his stomach turn. Zoro and he had been incredibly rocky recently. From the outside, it looked as if Sanji and Zoro got on a lot more than they used to. They hung out alone. They went out for dinner. They would go home and hook up then Zoro would leave. However, Sanji still held him at arm's length. Any attempt Zoro made at deepening their relationship was batted away. Sanji didn’t want to deepen their relationship. They were friends with benefits and nothing more.
As much as he tried to, Sanji found it difficult to move past what happened. Nine months later. Sanji gripped his cup as resentment and confusion pinged inside of him. He took a long sip of his coffee as he felt brewed. As much as he tried to shake these thoughts, they always go back to the same thing. It bothered him – the fact that Zoro seemed to take up so much space in his mind. Not even his exams took up this much space. The boundaries had been made clear; at least that was what Sanji told himself anyway. They were just friends with benefits. A little friendlier than before. A lot more complicated. The lines blurred in a way that Sanji couldn’t control. He hated it. Truely and utterly hated it.
Nine months. Nine months really should have been enough time to move on. However, whenever he closed his eyes at night. All he saw was Zoro.
With a frustrated sigh, Sanji put his cup on the table a little too forcefully, the clatter of porcelain and the glass table jarring him out of his thoughts. He needed to clear his head. Thinking about Zoro wasn’t helping. He had to figure out why Luffy was insistent on meeting up tonight but if he knew Luffy, it would be chaos which was very much a welcomed distraction.
As the day went on, Sanji decided to push the thoughts away and not acknowledge them anymore. He instead focused on trying to play a guessing game about what Luffy is planning. He laid out an outfit, opting into going for something that is casual but put together. After all, this was his home turf, the Baratie, even if he wasn’t working tonight. Old habits die hard.
As the day went on, the idea of Luffy planning a surprise took up his mind and he wasn’t thinking about Zoro anymore. It could be something endearing to outright disastrous, both ends of the spectrum Sanji had experienced time after another. By the time the evening rolled around, Sanji made his way down the stairs and there he was, standing in front of the restaurant. He pushed the doors open and noticed the quiet atmosphere. The evening rush had obviously not happened yet...which was weird for it being 7. He looked towards the kitchen and seen Zeff there, barking orders at the other chefs with his usual gruff demeanor.
“Oi. Old man,” Sanji called out as he looked through into the kitchen. Zeff glanced up, a brief look of surprise but then went to his usual gruff nature.
“Thought you were taking the night off, eggplant?”
“I was. Luffy said I needed to come by 7,” Sanji said, leaning against the counter.
“Oh. If it’s Luffy you are looking for, he’s around the corner,”
Sanji nodded before continuing to go around that way. However, once he got around the corner, he was meant by thunderous yelling.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY”
Oh yeah. It was his birthday today.
He was so busy with school that he must have...forgot. No, he didn’t forget. Who forgot their birthday? No, he just wanted to wait until he was a little less busy to celebrate his birthday. So, up till this point, he didn’t make too much of a big deal about it. He didn’t know how this translated into him getting a surprise birthday.
Sanji’s eyes scanned his friends. Nami, Usopp, Robin, Franky and of course, Luffy standing there. Luffy was grinning widely and bouncing with his usual excitement. A large cake decorated with bright icing. He recognized the cake; he had seen Zeff making it, but he had insisted it was an order for someone else. So, Zeff was also in on it. Huh.
“Luffy...” Sanji looked away, trying not so subtly to mask his embarrassment. When he looked elsewhere, he was Zoro. He was drinking a beer, as always. The sight of him made Sanji’s heart do weird shit so he looked back at Luffy, “You know I didn’t want to celebrate until I finished my exams...”
“Nonsense!” Luffy said, grabbing Sanji by the arm and pulling him towards his friends, “Everyone needs to celebrate their birthday properly,”
Sanji was pulled over to the table by Luffy who was determined to make sure that Sanji enjoyed his birthday with his friends surrounding him.
“You didn’t have to go all out,”
“This isn’t all out.” Luffy waved off his concerns with an infectious laughter.
Sanji couldn’t help but smile at Luffy’s infectious energy. He glanced at Zoro, still drinking beer pretending he was too cool for his birthday party.
Luffy’s excitement was appreciated though. He took a seat between Robin and Usopp. The cake was nearby. He couldn’t help but appreciate the effort.
“Still, you didn’t have to-”
“It’s not all out,” Luffy insisted with a grin, his eyes sparkling with that usual excitement. “We wanted to do something nice for you. Nami and Zoro helped quite a bit,”
Once again, his gaze went back to Zoro who was now avoiding his gaze. The mention of Zoro helping plan this seemed to catch Sanji off guard. He had to wonder how much Zoro contributed to the arrangement of this part. It made his chest feel rather tight which...was problematic to say the least.
He could not. He could not let his emotions ruin the night.
“I find it hard to believe that Zoro actually helped...” Sanji rolled his eyes, sitting back in his chair trying to give off an impression that he didn’t care, “It actually is thoughtful which makes me doubt it,”
Zoro shot him a look, still nursing his bear as his scowl deepened, “Yeah, well, don’t get used to it,” He muttered, although looking closely there could have been something of the smallest hint of a small very small smile, something soft that almost felt like fondness.
Even if Sanji tried to be indifferent, his mind felt like it was racing. Honestly, he didn’t know why but inside it felt like it pissed him off. These little, small meaningful gestures made it incredibly hard for Sanji to separate himself from Zoro. It made it easier to...forget about what happened. Sometimes, it felt like he could maybe ease up around Zoro.
Maybe...just maybe.
“Maybe next time, stick to what you are good at,” Sanji shook his head, “You know, heavy lifting and lack of direction,”
In front of everyone, their banter felt normal. It felt like things had never changed. It felt as if they had just moved on from their lives. However, Sanji felt a weird edge right now. Tension with unresolved feelings between them as he tries to still be indifferent.
Luffy, obviously oblivious to everything that was going on, laughed, “You two never change!” He said before grabbing another slice of cake. “But hey! At least the gang is here!”
Breaking eye contact with Zoro, his attention was back on Luffy. Luffy was right. This was a nice gesture from all three of them. It would be a shame to have it ruined by his own racing mind. He looked at Zoro who avoided his eyes.
“Yeah, you are right,” Sanji smiled, “I appreciate it...thank you,”
The rest of the evening passed in a blur of laughter, jokes and the comfort of being surrounded by friends. What Sanji didn’t know was that Zeff had closed the whole restaurant so that they could focus on Sanji’s surprise party. Amazing food came out as well as drinks and desserts. Luffy definitely had his fair share of food and Zoro had his fair share of drinks.
When desserts came out, Sanji excused himself and went outside. He needed to...collect his thoughts. He needed to think about things outside. When he was outside, he sat on the step of the door and lit up a cigarette. He was lost in his thoughts outside when the door opened.
“Are you okay?”
Thankfully, it wasn’t Zoro. It was Robin. Sanji exhaled a long plume of smoke. The orange glow of his cigarette lit up his face in the darkness. He didn’t immediately respond. He just let the silence speak for itself. Robin was...for better or worse, incredibly perceptive. She always had been. Sanji had heard that Robin had been...somewhat involved in the club that Zoro frequented...or used to.
“Yeah,” He said, although he wasn’t sure if he believed that and his voice lacked the conviction for her to believe him too, “Just needed a breather...”
Robin didn’t say anything immediately, but she did sit next to him. She allowed him another puff of his cigarette before speaking.
“It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, Sanji,” She said, her voice understanding but cautious as she didn’t wish to overstep, “Especially on nights like this. Birthdays can be...a time of reflection,”
Sanji took another drag as he watched the smoke curled into the night air, “I guess. I’m certainly in a reflective mood tonight,”
Robin nodded as she watched the smoke dissipate into the night air, “It’s understandable,” She said as her tone was gentle, “A lot has happened recently. It’s only human to be affected by what happened,”
Sanji shook his head with a very bitter chuckle, “I thought I moved on. I feel terrible... Luffy, Nami and... Zoro put a lot of effort into this and I... well, can’t help but think about things,”
Robin decided to let him talk rather than inject her own thoughts as her hands rested on her lap, looking out into the air. Her presence felt...so warming that he couldn’t help but talking even more.
“It’s like...you know, I tell myself that it doesn’t matter. I’m better off just focusing on my career and future but then,” Sanji gestured animatedly in the direction of the restaurant, “Zoro does something...stupidly kind... and I feel like those walls I’m trying to build up around him just...”
He realizes how it sounds and retracts slightly. Robin didn’t need to know every single detail of what was going on. He retracts and takes another puff of smoke, feeling even more bitter than he had done.
“It’s clear that Zoro has some sort of effect on you. It’s not easy to let events go...” Robin responded.
Sanji frowned. It wasn’t what he wanted to hear. He wanted her to call him a jerk but then again, that wasn’t like Robin. Robin was...perspective.
“Nine months. I’m still stuck,”
Robin turned her head slightly, “Moving on isn’t a linear process. Sometimes, it’s two steps forward and one step back,”
Sanji let out a sigh, running his hand through his hair. “But I don’t want to have these feelings. Zoro did the worst thing he could have done to be me ever and I can’t let it go. I just...want to let it go...” He clenched his fists, the frustration and bitterness simmering inside, “I hate him. I really really hate him but sometimes I don’t,” There was a beat of silence before Robin spoke up.
“Then, you need to talk to him about it. Make those boundaries clear or forgive him. Either way, holding onto it and hoping that it will go away, will only hurt yourself,”
His jaw tightened. He wanted to reject her advice and brush her off. He had gone for the past nine months without talking to him about it, but he knew that she was right. Holding onto this anger, this bitterness and it was bothering him. The truth was sinking in. Maybe it was time to decide. The thought made his stomach do funny things, but Robin was right; he couldn’t keep running from it forever. He had to face this head on.
“Thank you, Robin,” His voice softer, more sincere than it had been before, “I’ll think about what you’ve said,”
She gave a small nod before standing up.
“One step at a time,”
Sanji watched her get up and go back inside. Despite her being gone, her words echoed in his mind. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do now but for the first time in these past nine months, he felt like he had direction...he knew what he had to do.
He took the final drag of his cigarette before stubbing it out. With a deep breath, he stood up and turned back towards the door. The night was still young. His journey was not yet over, and it was like Robin said...
One step at a time.
-
The night went on for a couple more hours, nearly approaching midnight. Everyone had a great time. The evening continued with laughter and conversation. Thankfully, Sanji’s mind felt more at ease as he joined the rest. Even if he had to decide what to do, it was enough peace to let him enjoy the rest of the night. As it approached a new day, the group's energy began to wane, and people began to leave. Robin and Franky, who were still a steadfast couple left together, Luffy and Usopp left with intentions of going back to Luffy’s and Nami left with the intention of spending the night with Vivi who she was still very much dating. As Sanji began to watch everyone leave, it left him alone...well...not exactly.
Sanji was assured by Zeff that he would handle the mess in the morning which had Sanji having his last cigarette of the night outside. He looked towards the stairs leading up to his apartment. He was about to turn and leave when he heard someone else leave the restaurant.
It was Zoro and they both looked at each other. Sanji continued to smoke, and Zoro watched him as if he wanted to say something, but didn’t so Sanji was the first one to speak.
“Wanna come up stairs? It’s a long way home,”
It was the nicest way of asking Zoro if he wanted to stay the night. Now that everyone else was gone, Sanji and Zoro could drop the acting.
“Sure. I didn’t want to walk home anyway,”
Sanji shook his head with a humorless laugh. His reply was gruff as usual but there was some warmth behind it. They stood there for a moment, the silence between them was thick with words they couldn’t say then. It was tension that in the past nine months had become very familiar. It had begun to define their relationship...their very complicated relationship.
Once he was ready, he stubbed out his cigarette as his mind reeled from the advice he had been given by Robin. It couldn’t be put off any longer. Sanji had to do something about what was on his mind.
“Come on. Let’s go then,”
Zoro followed Sanji without a word. The quiet footsteps on the stairs were the only sound as they made their way up to Sanji’s apartment.
When they were inside, Sanji flickered on the light. There was a soft glow in a familiar space. Zoro looked around. He was unreadable. Maybe he could tell that change needed to happen too.
Sanji busied himself to begin with. He kicked his shoes off, tidied up a few items and the like as if to avoid talking to him. As normal, Zoro helped himself to a beer from the fridge and sat on the sofa, watching Sanji clean up.
“Are you okay?”
Sanji stopped what he was doing and looked at Zoro strangely. Was it that obvious?
“I’ve been in a reflective mood...” Sanji muttered, thinking about the conversation he had with Robin recently.
“Yeah?” Zoro said but more to prod more of an answer as if wanting to know Sanji’s thoughts but all it did was bring hesitation to the blond who stopped what he was doing and sat on the chair across from the sofa, away from Zoro. The familiar tension felt strange.
“Yeah...” Sanji’s voice was low as he leaned back in his chair.
Zoro’s expression remained stoic but there was a flicker of something on his face, but it was unreadable. Sanji didn’t know whether Zoro was also feeling reflective or if he had no idea what he was talking about. Either way, Sanji leaned forward.
“I keep telling myself that I hate you. I really do hate you. Yet, when you do things like what you did tonight with Nami and Luffy...” Sanji ran his hand through his hair, “It pisses me off because you do these kind decent little things and then I don’t know how I feel...”
Zoro didn’t say anything. What could he say? They’ve been over this countless times. No matter how many times they ended up in each other's room or have these little meet ups, they still go around in circles talking about nine months ago. Neither of them was over it nor honestly, no one could be blamed.
“I hate you for this. I really do...”
Zoro looked directly at Sanji, “I don’t blame you,”
Sanji’s breath caught. That was it. Zoro accepted it with bluntness, and it caught him off guard entirely. He had expected an argument, maybe a gruff retort but instead, Zoro accepted it.
And that just annoyed him even more. It was suffocating and yet, this was the most honest that they had been with each other this whole time.
“I don’t want to keep going around in these circles,” Sanji’s voice was strained, “But I don’t think I can move forward...the way that things are going,”
“You think I haven’t tried? That I don’t want to try and move on?” Zoro responded, clutching his beer like an anchor, “Do you think I haven’t suffered from this too? I know nothing I can say will make you accept what’s going on...”
“Then why do we keep doing this? Why help with the party? Why do you keep coming back to my place? Why?”
There was a beat of silence. Sanji had clenched his fists so hard that specs of blood appeared on the palm of his hand, but it didn’t hurt. He had bigger fish to fry right now, and it was all about Zoro.
And Zoro just continued to stare at him. He settled his beer down on the table and leaned forward, as if trying to close the distance between them, “Because...” He began, his voice lower and more measured than normal, “No matter how much we hate each other and no matter how much we hurt each other, I cannot stay away from you. You think I enjoy this? That I love how much of a mess we are?”
And that felt like an honest admission from Zoro. Something that Sanji could not honor in return as he scowled, “Then why the hell are we doing this? If you can’t stay away and I can’t let it go, then what the hell are we doing here?”
And there it was again. That silence showed that neither of them knew the answer. Those raw feelings just bubbled below the surface.
“I don’t know,” Zoro sighed, “I don’t know okay,” His voice low and rough, “I don’t have the answer, but I wish I did but I don’t,”
Sanji scowled and pinched the bridge of his nose, “I can’t keep doing this with you,”
“You don’t have to,” Zoro said, standing up as if something finally snapped, “No one is forcing you to do this. Maybe we should stop seeing each other,” Sanji’s heart clenched at those words even though a part of him had been expecting this conclusion. He had thought about this countless times before, about what it meant if they did cut ties and moved on. Yet, hearing Zoro vocalize it, made it real.
“Is that what you want?” Sanji didn’t stand up. He looked up at Zoro who looked as if he was about to leave, as if he’d had enough.
Zoro hesitated but the tension in the room pushed him to talk about it, “You’ve made it clear. You can’t do this anymore. So, you don’t have to. I’m giving you an out,”
Sanji took a deep breath as if trying to steady himself. Everything felt as if it was crumbling around him, and he was grasping to give himself some normality. But maybe it was too late. Maybe this was the new normal. Everything felt already broken. A wave of emotions crashed around him as a mix of anger and sadness. Zoro’s words were logical and to the point. He was giving Sanji an out and that was logical, but it was a punch in the gut after everything they had been through.
This was the exact moment he had feared and wanted.
“You are giving me an out?” Sanji stood up, shaking his head in disbelief and frustration, “Like it’s that simple? Like walking away will finish all of this?”
Zoro clenched his jaw, “Maybe it is that simple, Sanji. Maybe we are making it more difficult than it had to be,”
It was the moment he had to decide. Sanji’s heart raced and for a moment, he just couldn’t find the words. What did he want?
“I think you are right,” Sanji said. Maybe he was right. Maybe they needed to stop. “Maybe walking away will help,”
Zoro nodded, his face unreadable but he looked towards the door and then back to him, “I agree. I will leave you alone then...” His words hung in the air, heavy and final. The silence that followed it was suffocating and filled with things that they didn’t even get a chance to say. Finally, there was an end to this unrelenting cycle.
For a moment, time stopped. By the time that Sanji realized that time’s arrow marched forward, Zoro opened the door and was gone. The blonde stood there frozen. So that was it. Zoro had walked out of his life as if it was nothing. He had wanted this – to end this cycle but now that it had happened, Sanji felt hollow. He clenched his fists again, realizing the pain of cuts on his hand but it was nothing compared to the pain in his chesrt. Nine months. He’d put up with this for nine months and for what? What did he have to show for it?
Instead of relief, he felt loss.
He sat on the sofa, the exhaustion of the night caught up on him. He rubbed his face, noticing the wetness on his cheeks.
One step at a time.
But what was the next step? What did he do next? How did you move on now?
Sanji leaned back on the sofa, reaching for his lighter and cigarettes. He lit one up and stared at the ceiling. He had made his choice, now he had to live with it. Maybe that’s how it was supposed to end.
One step at a time.
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okay, real quick [not so quick as it turns out, you will notice these get longer as i go on for basically no reason; this is as succinct as i get i think]:
italy (1914–1925): oligarchic/corrupt liberal parliamentary system, relatively weak + poor among the great powers, frustrated territorial ambitions despite a handful of colonies. heterogeneous radical nationalist movement (stretching left to right on various issues) in wwi advocates participation in the war for various conflicting reasons, and then sticks around after the war ends—at the same time as the national humiliation of unsatisfied territorial demands, a brief economic recession, problems w veteran demobilization, proto-revolutionary labor unrest, and the general collapse of politics-as-usual. radical nationalists generally consolidate into two camps, 1) a more radical and popular one behind mussolini ("fascists"), built mostly on the use of armed force against rural socialists (and to seize control of local govt) but also including a pro-worker 'left' faction, 2) a more reactionary, pro-business, monarchist, etc clique (ani). mussolini is handed power after a show of force in rome in 1922 but presides over a seminormal conservative govt (what we might call 'illiberal democracy' today?) until the fascist murder of the socialist leader giacomo matteoti in 1924; the ensuing crisis eventually forces mussolini to stand before parliament in 1925 and declare an outright dictatorship, but the regime that emerges in the late 1920s represents a series of compromises and the input of multiple, fascist + nonfascist (esp. the ani), contending factions
germany (1918–1933): late to imperialism and industrialization but caught up fast, becomes the industrial heart of europe under an increasingly militaristic authoritarian monarchy. stripped of colonies and much of its european territory after wwi, briefly succumbs to a communist rev that's crushed by the new post-imperial liberal democracy. diverse and aggressive far right subculture variously focused on imperial restoration, territorial aggrandizement, antisemitism, etc. german workers' party, working-class offshoot of a racialist occult sect, is among these groups and is quickly commandeered by adolf hitler and the adjective 'national socialist' added. radical nationalist ecosystem feeds off of national humiliation of defeat, abdication, etc etc, economic crisis, veteran problem, and continued impositions by france. nazi attempt to exploit a serious crisis in 1923 and take power by force fails, party banned and hitler imprisoned, during which time he fleshes out a sophisticated ideology of, basically, revolutionary racism, entailing complete dictatorship, social levelling and worker mobilization, new imperial conquests to the east, and extermination of racial inferiors. hitler released from prison early and gets party unbanned, great depression in 1929 catapults the nsdap into national politics, claiming a third of the vote by 1932. to the nazis' 'right' arguably are the dnvp (authoritarian, monarchist, pro-business) and the vaguely authoritarian presidential clique clinging to power by emergency rule as of 1930. nazi militia attacks leftists in the streets but also tries to rally workers and supports the late 1932 berlin transport strike; despite apparent radicalism, hitler promises industrialists he's their best option and so they pressure the weak/collapsing presidential regime to bring the nazis into the fold. this occurs as a result of internal squabbles in the conservative camp when hitler is named chancellor in early 1933, and only a few months of 'illiberal democracy' ensue before the nazis install a single-party dictatorship and, more specifically, begin consolidating much more total party control over the state and traditional elites than the italian fascists ever managed
spain (1930–1937): neutral in wwi. declining imperial power; largely poor, weak, and agrarian, similar to italy; conservative dictatorship overthrown in 1930, king rules as interim dictator until new elections act as de facto referendum on the monarchy: republicans sweep the cities in a landslide, the king goes into self-exile, and a liberal democracy is proclaimed. radical nationalist subculture partially inspired by what's going on in italy seeks restored authoritarian catholic monarchy. a young intellectual called ramiro ledesma ramos, like the nazis and fascists, preaches something beyond that, a revolutionary totalitarian republic based on worker mobilization and sweeping expropriations + nationalizations. he joins w an extreme catholic in 1931 to form the jons, composed of radical university students. in 1933, the aristocratic lawyer and dictator's son, josé antonio primo de rivera, founds his own fascist-inspired 'falange', somewhat more catholic and moderate; the falange wins two seats in parliament w help from the mainstream right. the year later the falangists and 'jonsists' merge, though josé antonio soon consolidates autocratic control w/in the party and kicks out ledesma. although increasingly violent towards leftists, the falange remains a minuscule and mostly irrelevant force. the rise of the popular front in 1936 sees a state crackdown on the falange and josé antonio's arrest, after which he begins plotting for armed insurgency; however, the military takes the initiative and stages a coup which becomes a civil war. the falange balloons in membership and joins the rightist 'nationalist' camp. w most of its old leadership executed by republicans, the nationalist generalissimo francisco franco coopts the falange and converts it into his personal power base in 1937, gradually purging the falange of authentically fascist elements over the next several years.
romania (1923–1941): not only victorious in wwi but, unlike italy, gets massive territorial concessions largely satisfying any lingering irredentism. no colonial history except that of its own colonization. deeply impoverished and agrarian society + oligarchic/corrupt liberal parliamentary system, w a looong history of antisemitism. jews are only granted civil rights in 1923; in the same year, professor and antisemitic politician a.c. cuza founds the lanc: aggressively anti-jewish on an almost single-issue basis. within the lanc is a faction of university students banking on the student protest movement of the early 1920s; their leader, corneliu codreanu, thinks cuza should go beyond electoral activity and build an armed mass movement capable of mobilizing a) students like himself, and b) the peasantry, or in other words the students' parents. this results in the codrenists splitting from the lanc in 1927 as the 'legion of the archangel michael' espousing a semiheretical and mystical school of orthodox christianity, genocidal antisemitism, and a sort of peasant socialism. over the 1930s the legionaries do in fact become an armed mass movement of the youth and peasants, and a persistent thorn in the side of the oligarchic establishment, at one point assassinating a prime minister. politics finally grinds to a halt in 1937, when the national christians (authoritarian, antisemitic, but not revolutionary; successor to the lanc, w a love-hate relationship to the legion) are hoisted into govt. the nc administration proves too friendly to the legionaries and instead, in 1938 king carol seizes power from above, creating a royal dictatorship w a vague/amorphous single party collecting members of the old oligarchy. codreanu is assassinated and the legion declares all-out revolutionary war on the state, but unsuccessfully. they remain a threat though; in 1940 carol changes tack and tries to coopt the legion, but his regime breaks down and he abdicates in favor of military dictator ion antonescu, who more fully absorbs the legion into govt in a franco-like arrangement. unlike franco who was able to slowly marginalize the falange, the legion's unruliness makes it an unsustainable partner: a 1941 legionary revolt turns into a horrific pogrom and antonescu purges it in the most brutal and decisive anti-legionary crackdown yet. this doesn't stop the more 'orderly' and pragmatic antonescu regime from participating enthusiastically in the holocaust.
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Fighting to Stand Still
At one of our union actions recently, someone mentioned the idea that we (by which I mean striking workers) are often fighting so hard just to stand still. We’re fighting against job losses, we’re fighting for a pay rise that simply matches inflation. We’re trying to stop our sector hemorrhaging workers.
In the NEU we’ve now been on 8 days of strikes, and maybe… just maybe… we’ll get a pay rise of 6.5% that doesn’t quite match inflation. It seems like the junior doctors might get similar. Nurses ended up with the 5% they voted to reject.
Never mind pay restoration. Certainly never mind major improvements to our working conditions.
I’m not saying the will isn’t there to keep on fighting- my union colleagues continue to inspire me with their dedication and desire to keep on doing this. I think there’s a lot of hope in teaching about all the unions striking together.
But I do think the real ambition isn’t there- the real desire to say, “Actually, it’s not enough to make things a little bit better for teachers, but also we need to start thinking about real societal change”.
Equally, I think I’ve mentioned on here before that I think the Tory long term goal is to do away with qualified teachers in England for all sorts of reasons. When I first started talking about this, I felt like a conspiracy theorist, but more and more people seem to be coming up with the same conclusions.
In England, most teachers working in state schools will have, or be working towards QTS (Qualified Teacher Status). This means they are degree educated professionals, many of whom will also have a post grad qualification like a PGCE.
This creates two problems for the Tories. One, they have to pay teachers a decent, competitive graduate salary- and that’s expensive. The Tories don’t like wasting money on state education.
Two, in general, people with degrees don’t vote Tory. I don’t want to stereotype here, but people with a degree level education tend to be able to think critically about what they’re told. They often hold social views that work against the Tory narrative. And they’re exposing children to those views.
The Tories don’t want socially mobile young people who are able to think critically about right wing propaganda. They want the working class to have limited options and to know their place, and buy into fascist narratives uncritically.
The solution? Get rid of teaching as a graduate profession. Have students supervised by TAs on a low wage, whilst they learn from pre-approved government videos and complete tasks created by AI. Lower educational attainment for the working classes. Less critical thinking skills. Less money wasted on educating them…
It sounds terrible and dystopian, right?
To avoid that, perhaps fighting to stand still is worth it?
#Uk politics#education#strikes#neu#neu strikes#industrial action#fuck the tories#what are we fighting for#leftism#culture wars#class war
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Commander as Companion Meme
@dragonologist-phd's original template is here!
Name: Sparrow
Race: Plumekith aasimar
Class: Magus--Sword Saint
Appearance: Sparrow is a woman who is easily missed--small and unassuming, with straight long brown hair and plain clothing in muted earth tones. She has a long face prone to frowning, and would be described as plain, though in certain lights glimmers of gold can be found in the undertone of her skin and in her eyes--subtle signs of her aasimar heritage. She also has strange reddish discoloration along her hairline, around her eyes, and on the tops of her ears--on closer examination, you can see tiny scars around empty follicles, as if the skin had been permanently bruised from excessive plucking. She carries herself in a hunched posture as if to make herself smaller, and avoids your gaze when she speaks.
Favored Weapon/Equipment: A longsword wielded in her left hand, and magic in her right. She focuses a lot on shielding or defensive magic to create armor, as she typically doesn't wear any, and touch elemental spells that she can direct with her sword.
Top Skills: Knowledge (Arcana), Perception, Mobility
Alignment: True Neutral
General Personality: Sparrow is a reserved and quiet individual. She rarely speaks about herself or her past and it takes a lot of trust for her to open up. She folds easily under pressure and will rarely give her actual opinions on something, though when asked she often gives practical advice that focuses on completing the task with as little resources as possible that avoid collateral damage. Despite her quiet demeanor, she can be goaded into outbursts of passion, and will consistently work herself to the bone to achieve goals or to help those she is loyal to. If her companion quests are completed with high trust she will grow to be more animated and opinionated, though she will always remain someone who reserved around those she does not feel comfortable with.
What traits/values do they admire?
Displaying empathy to others in very bad situations and avoiding unnecessary violence or harming defenseless people. Using caution and discretion when dealing with matters when able. General devotion to a cause or people and shows of loyalty. High-minded ideals, drive, and confidence or ambition. Respecting her opinions, boundaries, and decisions.
What traits/values do they disapprove of?Authoritarian decisions. Excessive violence or lack of care to the public and the defenseless. Ignoring her boundaries and requests, or going against her advice. Any and all forms of slavery, including using conscripted forces, aligning with Cheliax in any form, or the lich path in general.
Are they affiliated with any deities?
No. Sparrow is an Atheist. She can be asked about this and she'll make an especially bitter comment about gods not finding her worth their while, so she doesn't see them as worth hers. Then she'll apologize for the comment. (An atheist commander will have additional dialogue options wit her similar to conversation with Ember).
What do they think of their role in the Crusades, and of sharing the Commander’s Mythic powers? What are their reasons for joining the commander’s party?
Sparrow will react pretty negatively to being in the Crusades, and to the Commander's power. She finds it exposing to be in the epicenter of such a large movement. She first joined the Commander's party out of necessity, being stuck in a city that was burning to the ground, and stayed at the Commander/Anevia's encouragement because her skills were useful to the cause. She'll admit that she would not have joined the Crusade by choice, and definitely not as the Commander's companion, but she is already here she will help.
Who are their friends among the other party members?
Seelah: Seelah would be one of the first people Sparrow feels comfortable with, drawn to opening up a little to her friendly and casual demeanor. They end up sharing battle tips, swapping stories and jokes, with Seelah acting as a big sister. However, Sparrow gets uncomfortable and irritated at Seelah's piety, and any time Seelah tries to learn about Sparrow's past, Sparrow avoids the question. When Sparrow's past comes to light in Act 3, there's dialogue that shows Seelah feeling hurt that Sparrow never trusted her enough to share her past of her own volition.
Lann: Sparrow and Lann get along pretty well. Sparrow finds some of Lann's opinions grating, but Lann's own self-deprecating humor and easygoing manner quickly makes Sparrow comfortable enough to express them in one way or another from time to time. However, whenever Lann gets genuinely irritated Sparrow immediately backs down and shuts up, showing she's never fully comfortable with him.
Ember: Sparrow does not treat Ember like a child but rather a peer and an equal, and one who has valuable advice to give. She will often express envy at Ember's lack of resentment and her ability to approach strangers with an open heart. Ember often calls Sparrow out on her own perceived flaws in an attempt to get her to open up about herself--saying that she is a good person because she's in the Crusade even though she is frightened, and that she's doing a lot for everyone by being a steadfast friend. Ember also consistently encourages Sparrow to take off her "mask" which Sparrow will get very uncomfortable over.
Woljif: Sparrow is unfailingly kind to Woljif, often using him as a source for supplies. She will let him play games with her and even run cons by her, and will get defensive about people ribbing on Woljif's cowardice. Her lack of judgment comes from her perspective that all people are shaped by their environments rather than some intrinsic aspect of their nature--Sparrow's perspective is that Woljif probably could have become something other than a thief and a coward but it was far less likely to happen considering the fact he was persecuted his whole life for being a tiefling. She can hardly blame him for the circumstances around his childhood and the behaviors it ingrained into him, and appreciates the fact that Woljif is open about how he puts himself first, and finds him comfortable and easy to talk to. Woljif for his part can kind of tell that Sparrow's kindness comes from a somewhat patronizing stance but will ultimately ignore it because it makes Sparrow an easy mark. Later on, if his quest is completed with his human side winning out, he'll thank Sparrow for not judging him.
Sosiel: While Sparrow finds Sosiel's religion grating, as well as some of his overtures of kindness patronizing, she will end up pretty close friends with him, specifically letting him speak to her about his worries and concerns over his brother and offering him comfort and advice. Later, after her past is revealed, Sparrow will talk to Sosiel a little bit about how she lost her own brother and how she finds it difficult to understand his own conflicted emotions about Trever--to her, it wouldn't matter what kind of person her brother had become if he was alive, and she hopes he can find that same resolve within himself. If Trever survives Sparrow also becomes close to him as well and offers advice for his nightmares and panic attacks, and sympathize with him over his experience as a battle slave.
Arueshalae: Sparrow will be wary of Arueshalae's intentions and desires. However, Sparrow also believes that anyone and everyone can change with enough desire to do so, and is supportive of the idea that Arueshalae is attempting to earn redemption. Because of this she will make a concentrated effort to keep an open mind because would be unfair not to and if Arue's attempts are genuine, derision and doubt will not help--and if they are not, well, her support does not leave her so exposed as to make her more vulnerable than she already is with Arue part of their team. This willingness to give Arue a chance will eventually develop into a tentative, then firm friendship.
What about rivals?
Daeran: Sparrow and Daeran tend to have a contentious relationship--the most openly contentious out of anyone, in fact, as Daeran's comments are able to get a rise out of Sparrow in a way that very few other people can manage. Sparrow finds him immature and selfish, and Daeran delights in pushing her buttons. He finds Sparrow's self-restraint dull and her non-confrontational demeanor passive-aggressive and hypocritical. However, they actually end up agreeing on a lot of topics--gods, nobility, the accountability of individuals and the hypocrisy of so-called "righteous" people--and Sparrow finds him genuinely funny, to her irritation. If they are in the party together, nine times out of ten if Daeran makes a cutting or witty remark, the KC will notice Sparrow visibly holding back laughter and looking angry about it. There are a few camp party banters where Daeran will even approach Sparrow with kindness or what seems like open interest in her thoughts; however, Sparrow will always retreat when he does this because she interprets it as a setup to a joke where she is the punchline. There is dialogue that can trigger after Daeran's final quest which has Sparrow reaching out more or being more open with Daeran, and Daeran commenting on it. Daeran asks her if she thinks that knowing about his tragic past has suddenly made him nicer and Sparrow says no--she's just decided that his jokes are funny after all. Epilogue slide screens can show that she is one of the companions Daeran still spends time with after the events of the game.
Nenio: Sparrow finds Nenio's consistent questions invasive and thoughtless at best, and downright harmful at worst. She will refuse to engage with Nenio in her experiments and will avoid speaking with her at all if possible. Occasionally, if pressed, she will show that she takes issue with Nenio's single-minded approach to her desire for knowledge, expressing disbelief and disgust that Nenio would choose to forget everything about her life--about the people who existed in her life--all because they weren't "important." To Sparrow, knowledge without context is meaningless and Nenio's desire for it is alien to her. If the KC completes Nenio's companion quest, there is camp dialogue that can trigger where Nenio comments that Sparrow has been far more willing to help her with her experiments, and makes hypotheses based on why--settling on the fact that, having learned Nenio's nature as a husk given consciousness, Sparrow has developed a misplaced sense of sympathy toward her. Sparrow admits that she'd been wrong to judge Nenio so harshly, and hopes that she might help create memories of others that Nenio might find important enough to keep--or, at least, help Nenio realize that memories of those who care about her are important on their own. It is implied, if not directly stated, that Sparrow sees her family, particularly her brother, in Nenio.
Camellia: Camellia will be surprisingly polite to Sparrow, though her more gracious manners are clearly because of Sparrow's presentation as Lady Evaethi in Nerosyan, and her genteel manners are barbed in a similar way that they are with Daeran. Sparrow treats Camellia very warily, responding with equal politeness to Camellia's comments but declining any direct help or any information about herself. Camellia may try to push for more information, but after Sparrow's past is revealed she loses interest and the polite veneer.
Wenduag: Wenduag writes Sparrow off as weak and unworthy of her notice, taking her quiet and non-confrontational demeanor to mean she has very little will or drive of her own. She'll comment that Sparrow would be unlikely to survive on her own and would be smart to ally herself with the strongest person in the room, the same way Wenduag does; Wenduag in fact believes that is what Sparrow is doing. Sparrow will, like with most other characters she is uncomfortable with or dislikes, avoid Wenduag whenever able and refuse to rise to the bait. The few times she will come into conflict is when her true past as a slave is revealed, and Wenduag makes a comment that the position is appropriate for someone of Sparrow's demeanor.
Greybor: Sparrow finds Greybor uncomfortable to be around. She's not terribly against his profession--in her opinion killing for a job isn't somehow more evil than killing for a zealous cause--but his clear enjoyment in the art of taking another life makes her find him emotionally apathetic to the suffering of others. He can say he doesn't lose sleep over what he does because he's "a professional" all he wants--Sparrow sees it as an inability to truly see other lives as real people, which means that at the end of the day, good reputation or not, he's untrustworthy. She is respectful to him whenever he asks for anything but will otherwise avoid talking to him entirely.
Are they on any councils? If so, what sort of advice do they give?
Sparrow can be found in the Logistics and Leadership Councils. In Logistics she gives advice focusing on stretching supplies as far as they can go, as well as egalitarian distribution methods. The Leadership Council has her advising ways to ferret out the minds behind the propaganda campaign of the Wary to root them out of the Crusade--she does not believe that placating the masses as a whole will provide long-term benefits.
Where do they hang out in the Defender's Heart? Drezen? In the Abyss?
In Defender's Heart, she can be found near the stairwell to the basement, close to Forn Autumn Haze and Jernaugh.
In Drezen, she's outside the inn. Dialogue can indicate she takes up another room near Nenio (and is not terribly pleased with this arrangement).
In the Abyss, she's found near where the rescued aasimar stand if they are saved.
What are their idle animations?
Placing her hand on the hilt of her sheathed sword; looking around, pulling out a notebook and flipping through the pages before adding something into the margins, checking the bags on her waist.
If they’re taken to Areelu’s lab, what is their dream?
Sparrow is inside a house cluttered with blueprints for various inventions such as water filters, teleportation devices, and bridges. Sparrow is sitting next to a human man with similar features as her, watching him create a miniature model of one of the designs. He is talking animatedly about the process while she listens, smiling. She looks far more at peace and open than the KC has ever seen her.
When Sparrow sees the KC her expression collapses, then shutters. She apologizes if she caused a delay and moves to leave.
Afterward, Sparrow will reveal various amounts of context depending on her trust level; a high-trust Sparrow will inform the KC that the man was her older brother, Crow. He had basically raised her until she was eleven, when they made a trip to Alkenstar that was waylaid by slavers. Sparrow was captured and sold into slavery; Crow was murdered.
Do they advise the commander to abandon or keep their mythic powers?
For Azata, Angel, and Trickster, she will say yes, supporting the ideals of goodness and freedom (respectively) that they represent. She shows varying levels of enthusiasm with each of these paths in order.
For lawful and evil-aligned paths she will tell them to go Legend. Demon, Aeon, and Lich paths all have her urge the KC to let the power go and find themselves--the amount of vehemence she gives in her argument correlates to order, with her being most against the KC becoming a lich. Doing so immediately drops her trust to the lowest level, regardless of its level before, and if she was romanced it automatically ends. Something similar will happen if the KC becomes a Devil in Act 5.
If the KC goes Swarm, she leaves like all other companions.
How/when do they join the Commander’s party?
Sparrow is found at the beginning of the game in the tunnels underneath Kenabres--after Camellia but before the group encounter Lann and Wenduag. She will help the group fight off a group of spiders with only magic, and in the subsequent dialogue Seelah will provide her with an extra weapon.
She joins the general thrust to escape the caves and helps the efforts to assault the Gray Garrison.
Describe their companion quest:
THE TRUST COUNTER: Important to Sparrow's quests and just learning about Sparrow in general, Sparrow has a trust counter that affects her actions and reactions to you throughout the entirety of the game. The KC automatically starts off with low trust, which means she will not willingly divulge any information about herself or her opinions without being pushed (an action that will further lower her trust). Basic dialogue where you can ask her about herself has her dodging questions, and a KC that never gains her trust can't learn even basic facts about her life.
However, if she's in the party she will often make suggestions and recommendations, which the KC can dismiss, support, acknowledge but not follow, or shut down entirely (which stops these interactions). Doing so raises and lowers trust at various intervals. Many Good, Chaotic, and angel-aligned actions will also inspire trust, while Evil and Lawful decisions tend to make her lose trust; however an Evil KC can absolutely gain High Trust and happy endings with Sparrow as long as they are not a lich or devil. Completing her companion quests positively and showing her support and acceptance are the easiest ways to gain high trust with her. High trust is necessary for her best ending.
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Sparrow's first quest can be triggered in Act 1 by speaking to her in the Defender's Heart. She will request that, if the KC has time, to go by a merchant's store in upper Kenabres where she was to meet an artificer before the attack. She will refuse to provide more information than this, but will stress the importance of it and her gratitude if the KC can find the time. (This quest is not an urgent one and can be done after the attack on the Defender's Heart.)
The KC would then need to travel with Sparrow to the location marked on the map. They will find the place destroyed and overrun with cultists. After they are killed, Sparrow finds and identifies the body of the man she was supposed to meet. She is clearly upset by this revelation--showing a surprising amount of emotion compared to what the KC would have seen in her before this point--and immediately starts searching his body; the KC can react to this but she will ignore them. After that is done she will go to the nearby shelves and start going through the books on there, trying without success to find something.
The KC can eventually get her to stop and demand an explanation; she will not give one other than the fact that she'd very desperately needed the thing she was paying for. The KC can press for more information but she won't give it; at this point they can offer to help, let her take the time to look through the store, or tell her that this is a waste of time and they should leave. The first two options add to Sparrow's trust and cause a period of two hours to pass; the third option causes a loss of trust but ends Sparrow's search and allows the party to leave. Regardless of the choice, nothing is found.
Sparrow can be spoken to again in the Defender's Heart after the quest is done; depending on how the quest ended and Sparrow's trust level at the time, Sparrow will show varying levels of disappointment at what had occurred. She will not state explicitly why she had reached out to the artificer, but higher trust will have her admit that it was an important, life-changing item, one that she will now have to find an alternate way to obtain. The KC can ask for more information, or offer to help her, which she will express gratitude for but decline; this problem is hers to deal with alone.
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During Act 1, a special conversation will trigger either after the party meets Daeran or after the attack on the Defender's Heart, whichever comes first.
The KC will come to the Defender's Heart and find Sparrow wanting to talk to them--if Sparrow is low trust, Anevia will also be present.
If she is has high enough trust (basically can only be reached if the KC has chosen angel options before now or her companion quest was completed positively before this interaction), Sparrow informs the KC that due to recent events she has realized she needs to disclose something about herself to them. She then tells them that, while she would very much prefer to be called Sparrow, many outside of Kenabres would know her better as Lady Evaethi Arvanxi, the only daughter of Lord Gregoriath Arvanxi of Cheliax. She has lived in Mendev as an attache for the Chelish diplomatic envoy for two years. She stresses that her past is simply something she wants to leave behind her and that she would have preferred it if no one ever found out about it, but that recent events (either meeting/recruiting Daeran, who knew her in Neroysan, or the latest demon attack) has prompted her to let the KC know of this so they would not think she was untrustworthy.
If her trust threshold is not met, Sparrow is not informing this to the KC of her own volition, but because Anevia--who has known about Sparrow's identity this entire time--has strongly urged that Sparrow be open about her past to help establish trust. Sparrow is more sparse on details and reticent to elaborate on her past, stressing even more that she does not want people to think of her as the woman she was even a few months ago.
The KC can either be understanding and accepting (which greatly increases trust), ask her if she's keeping any more secrets (she will say yes, but that they're not important to the Crusade), deride her for lying to begin with (trust loss), or tell her that she's on thin ice (minor trust loss). Sparrow accepts all responses with equanimity and thanks the KC for their time.
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In Act 2, while the camp is setting out, the KC can find Sparrow packing bags--now that Kenabres is safe, she's leaving. KC can let her go, wishing her well or ill; this will cause her to permanently leave the party and remove her as a companion. Alternatively, they can try to convince her to stay.
The KC has two options to convince her: a persuade and an intimidate option. The skill check on the persuade option is higher the lower Sparrow's trust is; if the KC has accrued the max amount of trust possible at this point, it is not even a skill check, while a very low trust relationship will force the KC to pass a relatively high check for their level. Persuading Sparrow will make her stay and raise her trust.
The intimidate check is always the same, and relatively low; it's essentially threatening to look further into Sparrow's past if she doesn't continue to make contributions to the Crusade. Sparrow will stay if it is passed, but it causes a massive trust loss.
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In Act 3, Sparrow's second companion quest triggers after the first of the major quests is completed (either the Mythic or the Crusade quests). A new Councilroom event appears, stating that a representative from Cheliax has come to Drezen to discuss important matters with the Commander. Entering Drezen/the councilroom triggers the cutscene where a man introduces himself as Lord Gregoriath Arvanxi, third cousin to House Arvanxi's head and Lady Evaethi Arvanxi's father. He has come to Drezen to help represent Cheliax's interests in Crusade efforts, but more importantly he is here for his daughter; he informs the KC that Evaethi is not a fighter at heart and he was very concerned when he heard news that she had joined the Crusade as part of the Commander's group.
While in the conversation, Gregoriath will ask questions about how Evaethi has been, if she's been hurt. He comes across as an overly concerned father, but some things don't ring very true--he describes his daughter as flighty, impulsive, and with no sense of self-preservation or head for the politicking of her station. This all flies against what Sparrow has shown for herself, and the KC can tell Gregoriath this; if they do he will get quiet and say that is surprising. Either way he will insist on speaking with her.
The KC can reach out to Sparrow at this time and inform her about Gregoriath wanting to see her. Sparrow will thank the KC for the info and state she will reach out to meet with her father; a low perception check will let the KC know that something is very off with Sparrow. A high perception check will show that this information has terrified her for some reason. Both checks will allow the KC to inquire further about Sparrow's relationship with Gregoriath, which Sparrow will rebuff regardless of trust level. However, the KC has the option at this point to tell Sparrow that, whatever the issue is, they will be there to help her. This leads to a large trust gain and Sparrow thanks the KC but states that she will meet with her father alone, because this is something she has to do by herself. She asks the KC not expect her to accompany them until this matter is resolved.
After either a rest, or the KC leaves Drezen and returns, a cutscene will occur where a furious Gregoriath approaches the KC in the council room. He informs the KC that the woman who has identified herself as Evaethi is an imposter--whoever this woman is, she has stolen Evaethi's identity and possibly killed his daughter. The KC can inquire for more details and learn that Gregoriath confronted Sparrow about this, but Sparrow fled Drezen and is now on the run. He wants help bringing her to justice. The KC can agree to help in various ways, but refusing will cause Gregoriath to leave and Sparrow to be permanently removed as a party member.
If the KC agrees, Gregoriath will state he knows how to track her--though questioning him will not provide how--and he provides a location to go to that will intercept her path to Kenabres. When the KC travels to the location, they will find Sparrow having just arrived. She seems surprised, then resigned, and asks if the KC is going to kill her now. Gregoriath will appear at this point, and demand the KC allow him to take her back to Cheliax to be tried and punished for the murder and impersonation of Evaethi. Sparrow will say nothing in response.
The KC has three options: give Gregoriath what he wants and let Sparrow be tried, kill Gregoriath instead, or ask Sparrow for her side of the story.
Attempting to turn Sparrow over will make her go hostile, with her saying she would prefer to die than "go back." The KC will have to kill her, and Gregoriath will be very upset but will drop the matter and reward the KC if the KC points out that he still got justice, in the end. Sparrow is permanently removed as a party member, but "Cheliaxian funds" becomes a buff in Crusade management mode.
Killing Gregoriath outright will shock Sparrow, who will ask why the KC did so; the KC has various responses which will either raise or lower Sparrow's trust. Back in Drezen, depending on trust, Sparrow will reveal aspects of her past--a high-trust KC can learn basically all of her past, while a low-trust KC would only learn she was a slave.
If the KC tells Sparrow to state her case, Sparrow will be shocked, but then explain--she is not some random murderess who came across Evaethi Arvanxi; she was a slave to the house and had specifically been bought to impersonate Evaethi as needed. Evaethi was not murdered, but ran away when she had been ordered to go to Mendev and had escaped her father's overbearing presence for the first time in her life. Sparrow knew that Gregoriath would kill her and every one of Evaethi's other servants if he ever found out, and that is why she pretended to be Evaethi in Nerosyan. The KC can ask various questions here--asking why Sparrow didn't just run away reveals that Sparrow had been branded with a tracking rune, one that meant Gregoriath could always find her, and that Sparrow had come to Kenabres to try and get rid of it so she could finally disappear.
Gregoriath will attempt after several questions to intervene, admitting he did obscure how he knew Sparrow in an attempt to save face. He calls Sparrow a failure for not protecting his daughter and ungrateful for everything they did for her--she was given food, an education, and a comfortable life that let her adequately intimidate a noble. Sparrow's temper flares and she calls Gregoriath a monster who took away her name, her past, and her brother, and if she were a stronger person she would have killed him in his sleep. Gregoriath still demands Sparrow's arrest and a trial, which takes the KC back to the previous options.
Handing Sparrow over leads to the same result as it would have before learning her backstory. Killing Gregoriath leads to a slightly different response from Sparrow--an automatic high trust gain and her appreciation, rather than shock and confusion. The KC will also now have a third option--declaring Sparrow an invaluable asset to the Crusades and stating they have authority as leader of the Crusades under Mendevian law, they can either conscript her service to the Crusades as a slave (which leads to massive trust loss) or they can demand Gregoriath free her (which leads to a massive trust gain). Gregoriath will not have any recourse to take Sparrow but will refuse to lift her tracking brand and will tell the KC they will regret this.
Afterward, Sparrow will be stunned and nearly catatonic. She will ask for any questions to wait until she gets some sleep. When the party enters Drezen again, a cutscene will happen in one of the rooms of the inn, where Sparrow continues to be largely unresponsive. Finally, depending on how the quest ended, she'll ask why the KC acted the way they did. They can respond in various ways, both positive and negative, that can change Sparrow's trust level accordingly; ultimately Sparrow will state that the KC's reasoning makes sense and starts to quietly cry. She'll admit that she's been under Gregoriath's power for so long she can barely comprehend that, at least in some way, she is no longer beholden to his control. While her current situation is hardly ideal, it is farther than she'd ever thought she'd get.
The KC can ask questions about her plan and what she had been thinking of when Gregoriath first came to Drezen. They can also ask her why she did not just tell them the truth. She will admit that she couldn't imagine the KC believing or supporting her--either they would write her off as a runaway slave or they would consider what Gregoriath offered to valuable to defend her. With high trust, she will tell how she tried to escape before, and told the one person she thought she could trust: Evaethi, trapped in that household the same as Sparrow was, even if for different reasons. Sparrow thought that made them sisters, but when she told Evaethi of her plan to get them both out of the Arvanxi household, Evaethi told Gregoriath. That is why Sparrow was branded to begin with. Sparrow will end the story by apologizing for thinking the KC would react the same way--she was clearly wrong.
After this quest, more dialogue options are available for Sparrow to talk about her time as a slave with the Arvanxis; for example, the KC can learn at this point that Sparrow used to have feathers that no longer grow due to them constantly being removed over and over so she could better impersonate Evaethi. Sparrow will also talk about her childhood in Dehrukani and her relationship with her brother.
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Sparrow's final quest occurs in Act 5, after either Iz or the Ineluctable Prison is completed. There will be a cutscene in the council room where the KC receives a message from a soldier from Kenabres. The main purpose of the meeting is to discuss the state of the city, but while speaking to the soldier he will mention that he had come across a group of Chelish soldiers traveling up to Drezen to discuss something regarding Gregoriath Arvanxi.
The KC can then bring this up to Sparrow, who will express concern that they are coming on behalf of Gregoriath (if the Act 3 quest was resolved peacefully) or they are going to look into Gregoriath's disappearance (if he was killed). Sparrow tells the KC that either way it is likely meant to be some kind of public statement that she would prefer be kept private; she asks to intercept them on the road before they make it to Drezen so they can resolve this as privately as possible.
The KC can agree or disagree; disagree causes trust loss and will have Sparrow either outright tell or hint that she will take care of this herself if the KC will not help her. Declining again fails the quest and has Sparrow leave the party. Agreeing will cause a new location to appear on the map about halfway between Kenabres and Leper's Smile.
KC and party with Sparrow go to this location; entering the area causes a cutscene to trigger where they are met a group of elves wearing Cheliaxian armor; a perception check shows the armor is ill-fitting and clearly stolen. Before the KC can do much but notice that there's something up, a trap triggers that knocks out the entire party. When everyone wakes up, the elves are gone--and so is Sparrow. The KC can follow the area, taking out monsters along the way, to find a cave. There, they find Sparrow with the elves and another figure--a scarred human man who identifies himself as Crow, Sparrow's presumed-dead brother.
The KC will learn in subsequent dialogue that Crow did not die when the slavers kidnapped Sparrow, as Sparrow had believed--instead, he had been gravely injured, and had been taken in by a group of Ekujae elves who nursed Crow back to health over the course of years. He had stayed with them, hobbled by his physical and emotional injuries, until he learned of the Fifth Crusade and heard of Sparrow's activities within it. Returning to society he unearthed Sparrow's history and connected it back to her enslavement in Cheliax, and came to the conclusion that she is now being used as a battle slave in the Crusades. He's here to rescue her, and has isolated her from the rest of the party to remove her tracking rune so they can escape.
The quest splits after this point:
If Sparrow was low trust with the KC, Sparrow will be awake and urging Crow to hurry--the KC will hear her tell her brother that the KC is dangerous and that she's afraid of what they'll do if they find the pair. It's unclear if Crow had come to rescue Sparrow completely of his own volition or if Sparrow had helped orchestrate her own escape. It's clear that, either way, Sparrow has not remained in the Crusades willingly.
Crow will accuse the KC of enslaving his sister, and no matter what the KC tells him, and despite Sparrow's pleas, he will always attack and the KC will have to kill Crow. Sparrow, distraught, will also try to attack the KC. However the KC can talk her down with a successful high Intimidation check. If the KC is a lich, they also have a unique dialogue option bypassing the intimidation check that has them threaten to raise Sparrow's brother as an undead slave if she does not fall in line.
If the KC fails to intimidate/threaten Sparrow into compliance, she will attack and must be killed. If they succeed, they can either tell her to get lost, which causes her to flee and be permanently removed from the party, or inform her that her work in the Crusades is not finished. She will remain as a companion, though her dialogue options completely change; her exchanges become quiet, deferential, and obedient. She makes it clear she will do as is bid and serve the Crusade however long the KC deems necessary.
If Sparrow is mid- or high-trust, when they enter the cave Crow will still be working to remove Sparrow's tracking rune, but Sparrow is dazed, confused, and gives dialogue indicating she thinks she's hallucinating; Crow will make a comment apologizing for having to drug her again but her reaction when she woke had been violent and he plans to explain everything once they're safe.
When Crow removes the tracking rune, the KC intervenes and like before, Crow accuses the KC of keeping Sparrow in the Crusades against her will. However, Sparrow will react with relief upon seeing the party, and that gives Crow enough pause that Sparrow can recover a little, and the KC can try to speak to Crow. The KC now has the option to attempt to convince Crow that Sparrow is a willing companion; this involves a number of persuasion checks, which can be higher or lower depending on mythic path (evil paths require higher persuasion checks to make Crow stand down).
Failure to pass two persuasion checks causes Crow to attack, though the KC has the option to spare him after defeating him. Killing him will make Sparrow leave the party automatically, heartbroken over the loss of her brother, though she will not attack the KC over it. If the KC spares him and lets him go, Sparrow will thank the KC for their mercy and apologize on his behalf even though Crow shows no remorse and will tell the KC he will save his sister one way or another. He leaves, and Sparrow mourns the lost opportunity to reconnect with her brother, stating she wishes she'd had the chance to convince him herself that she chose to remain with the Crusade. She remains as a companion.
Passing the checks will cause Crow to stand down, though he will insist he doesn't believe that Sparrow belongs in the Crusades; she has had enough violence and misery in her life, and requests to take Sparrow with him anyway so that he can help her heal. In exchange, he will offer his own services to the Crusade as an engineer. Agreeing loses Sparrow as a companion but gives a massive buff to Crusade armies; refusing keeps Sparrow as a party member. Sparrow stays silent until the end and will not argue with the KC's decision to stay or go, thanking them either way for convincing Crow of her willingness to fight for the Crusade. She then apologizes for not saying anything herself, stating she wished she'd been able to tell Crow herself, but she just couldn't figure out how to speak up, even to her own brother.
Alternatively, instead of trying to convince Crow on their own, the KC can ask Sparrow to tell Crow the truth.
If Sparrow is mid-trust, she will hesitate, fall over her words, and eventually fall silent, just telling Crow to "listen to the Commander, please." This brings the dialogue back to the persuasion checks. Quest endings for KC persuasion remain the same, though Sparrow's dialogue will now include her apologizing for not being able to convince her brother properly. She's stayed silent for so long that she doesn't know how to really talk to or stand up to someone. She thanks the KC for doing it for her and commits herself to the Crusade.
If Sparrow is high-trust, she will be open and forthright with Crow, thanking him for coming all the way here to save her and expressing joy that she's alive...but stating that she is with the Crusade because she wants to be, because it is the right thing to do, and that she believes in the Knight Commander's vision. Crow will comment that he can't believe his gentle little sister would ever willingly enter battle, and Sparrow is kind but firm when she tells him that his gentle little sister died when she was taken by slavers. Sparrow's walked a long road since then, and it's made her into a different person--one who does not love him less, but has different priorities. Depending on the KC's mythic path she will have slightly different dialogue on her vision, but will basically state that she wants to close the Worldwound by any means possible, and then live her life beyond that to the best of her ability--by either finding happiness for herself or helping others. She asks Crow to understand and support her decision.
Crow will believe her; Sparrow stays a companion. He also offers to help the cause his sister has dedicated herself to and provides his services to the Crusade. Post-quest dialogue will have Sparrow thank the KC for helping her with her brother, but more importantly, for believing in her and giving her the strength to find her voice again. She'd spent her entire life hiding behind masks, pretending to be something she's not, and she's always been terrified of showing her true thoughts and feelings. But the KC's support has shown that she has the strength to be herself, to face what makes her afraid and not break from it.
Are they romanceable? Describe their romance quest/scenes if you want!
Sparrow is romanceable to a KC of any gender. The KC can start flirting with Sparrow basically as soon as they meet her, with dialogue options that compliment her appearance and her ability with a sword; Sparrow will thank the KC but will otherwise act wary to the attention. Once the KC has established some trust with Sparrow, however, additional dialogue options will appear to compliment Sparrow's problem-solving skills as well as discuss her opinions on various matters in the Crusade, which she will respond more positively to.
Multiple flirtatious dialogue options can be picked throughout the first three acts, specifically in the post-quest dialogue in act 1 (where the KC can tell Sparrow that they would help her with anything she asked), when convincing her to stay in Act 2 (a line something along the lines of "I see you in my future" or something equally cheesy), and as reactions to a lot of Sparrow's commentary to various events if she is in the party.
Post Sparrow's Act 3 quest, Sparrow will ask the KC why they defended her, when Gregoriath had the law and his status on his side and Sparrow had lied to them. There are a multitude of options, but one is the KC telling Sparrow that they defended Sparrow for Sparrow, alone--that they care about her. Sparrow, if she's been flirted with at all past this point, will ask what the KC means by this. She sounds wary, or perhaps hopeful. The KC can either talk about how they value as a companion and a friend, or they can tell Sparrow that she means a lot to them, and that they want something more.
If Sparrow is low trust she will thank the KC for their attentions but say she does not return them. Otherwise, she will hesitate, saying she isn't sure that a relationship is wise...but that her feelings for the commander are also stronger than she'd ever expected them to be. She's willing to give this a chance if the KC wishes. If the KC agrees, Sparrow will become overcome with emotion, and the two share a kiss. The KC can, at this point, escalate the relationship to a sexual encounter.
If, at any point, Sparrow's trust dips into the low threshold, the next time the KC enters Drezen/the Nexus, Sparrow will break up with them, stating they're not the person she thought they were.
Besides the romance initiation scene in Act 3, Sparrow also has romance-specific scenes in Act 4 and 5.
In Act 4, a romance scene triggers after the Battlebliss aftermath, the next time the KC enters the Nexus. Sparrow will ask if they can spend a minute alone, and will take you to an area otherwise inaccessible on the Nexus, on a platform higher on the skull-mountain. There, she'll say that the KC deserves a minute to rest and relax after what had happened to them. She'll procure some goods that she managed to get from the Alushinyrra market and set up a small meal for them, talking to the KC the entire time--she'll be slower to speak than usual, but still insistently talking about where she got the food, how she made the table, what the wine is, and make other stilted small talk. The KC can cut the date short at any point, be gently encouraging, point out Sparrow's strange behaviors, or criticize the aspects of the date.
While some dialogue options will change her trust level, Sparrow will react in the same way as long as the date continues, growing increasingly frazzled, her sentences becoming disjointed as she doggedly tries to continue a lighthearted conversation. If the KC asks after her she will insist she is fine--is the KC fine? Are they okay? This place can be stressful, even for someone as powerful as the Knight Commander. Then, when she tries to pour the wine, it slips from her hands and falls to the stone ground, shattering and splattering both of them.
Sparrow stares at the broken glass and starts to laugh, but very quickly the laughter turns to sobbing apologies. She had just been trying to make a nice distraction for the KC and she screwed it up, she ruined it all, she made things worse. The KC can show discomfort at the extreme emotion, walk away from her (which will drop her trust immediately to low and trigger a breakup), or attempt to soothe her. Eventually, she will calm down a little and apologize again. With some prodding, she'll admit that the KC's abduction to be a slave in Battlebliss had affected her badly. She feels that she failed by not being able to protect them, and has failed again with her breakdown. The dialogue will also make it clear, though Sparrow will not state this outright, that the KC's abduction reminded her of her own enslavement. She'll also admit that she expects the KC to leave them at some point--if not because of this awful display, then something else in the future.
The KC can comfort her here in various ways, telling her that she couldn't have done anything to prevent the capture, that it all turned out all right in the end, and that the gesture of trying to provide comfort was appreciated even if it didn't turn out okay. The KC will also have the opportunity to ruminate on how being captured affected them (or didn't affect them). They can also tell Sparrow that even if she did make a mistake, mistakes wouldn't make them leave her. Sparrow will clearly be comforted by whatever the KC says, and makes one last apology--that she made an attempt to help the KC about her. They end up spending further time alone together before the scene ending.
In Act 5, a final romance scene will trigger if Sparrow earned her high-trust ending--she come to the KC's chambers, excited and more visibly joyous than she's ever been before. The KC can ask if it's regarding her brother and she will briefly mention that, yes, she's ecstatic he's here and alive--they've been talking a lot, and Crow has been reminding her of things about her past that she's long forgotten, like he's giving a piece of her childhood back to her. But that's not why she's here--she'll point to her forehead, and the KC will see that the discolored scars and empty follicle holes on her face have started to fill--there is the beginning of new feather growth all around her face. Sparrow is ecstatic, having believed her feathers would never grow back, but the KC's power must have healed her enough that they finally started to grow again.
She thanks the KC for their kindness, their support, and most importantly, their affection. Sparrow tells them that she doesn't know for sure if they feel the same way, or if they ever could, but that she wants them to know that she loves them, and will stay by their side as long as they will have her. She has found purpose, strength, and healing with them--she's regained her feathers. When she first entered Kenabres, she only wanted escape, with no idea of what a future could even look like. She couldn't ever imagine being happy. But now, with the KC, the future is bright and clear. The KC can reciprocate her confession here, and they share a kiss and then time alone.
Poly Option: If Sparrow is romanced alongside other characters, during the jealousy confrontation scene in Act V Sparrow will sincerely tell the player that she's never cared if the KC finds love an affection with other people; however, it's clear their other partners want a committed relationship. She encourages them to settle with who will make them happiest and lets them know she will always consider them a friend even if they choose another. Choosing another person will show Sparrow be saddened but wishing the best for the KC . Jealousy camp banter will also reflect her wishing the KC's chosen partner well.
Consequently, if only Sparrow and Daeran are romanced, there is no Act V jealousy scene. Instead, when both of their final quests and relevant romance scenes are completed, Sparrow and Daeran will both show up in the KC's chambers to hash things out. They both make it clear that while they've never cared much about the KC sleeping with the other person, it seems that their entanglement will not be short-term and they should probably figure out where to go from here.
The options available for the KC are only successful in specific final romances and endings they achieved with both characters--if criteria isn't met Sparrow and/or Daeran will reject the option and make the KC choose another. The first option, successful in all endings, is for the KC to choose one of the two of them to continue their relationship with, stating they do not want to continue with the other in a permanent relationship. Depending on the endings achieved, their reactions will be different (Sparrow will be more vocally upset in her High Trust ending than her Mid Trust Ending; similarly, Daeran will be genuinely heartbroken if his True Love ending was unlocked but will be unbothered if the KC achieved the passion ending).
If Daeran is in a passion situation and/or Sparrow achieved her mid-trust ending, the KC can successfully tell them they don't really have terribly deep feelings for one or both of them (whichever has the relevant ending) and will ask that it remain casual with that specified person. Sparrow and Daeran will agree to this amicably enough as long as these conditions are met; both romance ending slides would remain the same in this case.
If Sparrow's High Trust ending AND Daeran's True Love ending were achieved, the KC can tell them that they had hoped to continue their relationship as-is with both of them, and that they feel very deeply/love them both. Is that possible, or will they force them to choose? Sparrow will tell the KC she is confident in their love and knows that the heart can love multiple people at once--if Daeran is fine with it, so is she. Daeran will be flippant--as long as he knows he's first in the KC's heart, he supposes he can be first among equals. Besides, there's worse people to be in a relationship-by-proxy with. At this point they'll affirm that they both will continue their relationship with the KC; Daeran will, at this point, hint drop he wouldn't be against a threesome or arrangement in that direction, though Sparrow interprets the comment as a joke. Both Sparrow and Daeran's romance ending slides alter to reflect this arrangement.
What would their ending slides be like?
Low-trust ending (Sparrow forcibly conscripted): Sparrow remained by the KC's side after the events of the Crusade come to a close. Whether that was by choice or by force, Sparrow would never say; she had a lot of experience being a silent and dutiful servant, and she fell back into old habits under the KC's command. One day, Sparrow tried to disappear once more, and was killed for her efforts.
Mid-trust ending: Sparrow left the Crusade with everything she thought she could have wanted--she was free, her brother was alive, and they were returning to Garund together to try and make a home. But Sparrow's new life was just as quiet and stifled as it was when she carried the weight of another's name: she could not connect to her resurrected brother, or her neighbors, or to anything else. She took to long walks into the dangerous wilds around their home, and to drinking late at night; when her brother found her one day, she asked him, "Do you even know who I am? Do I know who I am?" Soon after, she left her home for the second time, and she never returned.
High-trust ending: Triumphant from the success of the Crusade and in her newfound freedom, Sparrow set off to fulfill the plans she started to make while in the Knight-Commander's company. Though her brother asked her to return home with him, she gently refused. She had a life that she wanted to live, and that meant she needed to actually live it rather than run and hide away. She promised as they parted that she would visit him as often as she could, and kept to her word. [If KC non-evil aligned] Sparrow became a knight errant, traveling the lands to help the people who did not have voices for themselves, breaking shackles, fighting monsters, and doing whatever she could to lift people out out of the circumstances that have trapped them. [If KC is evil-aligned] Sparrow traveled the world to experience everything it had to offer, searching for new sights, experiences, and people. She learned a dozen new skills and wherever she went, she was sure to use her real name, because she was no longer afraid of being herself. [If KC remained in Drezen] No matter where she traveled, Sparrow always found time to visit her dearest friend in Drezen, to reminisce and speak to the Knight Commander of her latest exploits. One day, she'd always joke, she would come to stay; eventually, she does. [If KC chose to leave Drezen] The former Knight Commander could also be found with Sparrow from time to time, joining her on her adventures. The two remained steadfast friends their entire lives.
Romance [mid-trust ending--replaces non-romanced ending]: No matter where the KC went, Sparrow was not far behind--she gained the nickname [Player name]'s Shadow, one that she never stated any preference for or against. She grew quieter over the years, though her smile was no less warm for the person she chose as her life's partner. If she found dissatisfaction in their relationship or her own sense of stifling confinement--well, at least she has the Knight Commander. That has to be enough.
Romance [high trust ending--replaces the KC mention in non-romanced segment]: No matter Sparrow's plans or ambitions, one thing always remains the same--wherever the Knight Commander went, so did she, and [his/her] ambitions were also Sparrow's. Sparrow found true joy, happiness, and peace in love for the Commander, and vowed to never leave her beloved's side. [poly ending] Another common sight with Sparrow was, of course, the Commander's other love, Count Daeran Arendae. Though many speculated about possible jealousy or resentment, to all appearances Sparrow became close friends with the Count, bound by their shared devotion to the Commander. Over time, Sparrow was just as likely to be seen in the Count's company as she was to be in the Commander's--and of course, all three together was the most common sight of all.
Aeon ending: In a world without the Worldwound, relations between Cheliax and Mendev were not nearly so close, and Lord Gregoriath Arvanxi never had to send his child to Nerosyan. Sparrow remained Eva, the slave and body double, until an uprising in Westcrown had Sparrow abandon her post and take her chances in the fight against the diabolic royalty of the country. It was a chance that did her no favors, in the end; she died in one of the ensuing fights. [Memories preserved] Fellow rebels honored Sparrow's memory after she fell, as she was a keen-eyed strategist and stalwart fighter. Many would recall that she took inspiration from an old leader she served under, one who sacrificed everything for the greater good, though no one knew who she could have been referring to.
Any other fun facts?
As stated previously, good actions and good-aligned KCs have an easier time gaining Sparrow's trust. However, it's not impossible for an evil-aligned KC to gain Sparrow's trust, affection, and her happiest ending. In fact, evil KCs will actually have a unique high-trust interaction with her, which can trigger in Act V after the necessary trust has been accrued. Sparrow will bring up the fact that the KC seems to care about her well-being and extends kindness and understanding to her but does not show that same courtesy to the rest of the world (this dialogue is different and more intimate if the KC is romancing her). She expresses conflicting emotions about her feelings (either platonic or romantic) toward the KC as an individual and her dislike and discomfort at their actions of leading the Crusade.
The KC can persuade her of their regard in various ways, including stating that she has earned kindness and care while the world at large has not, that she is an exception to a typical rule because of the KC's feelings, or that what the world sees as disregard or callousness is misrepresented. All of these require a persuasion check, though how difficult it is depends on the option (as Sparrow is more likely to believe logical arguments--that the KC's worldview is more complicated than she's seeing--rather than emotional--that she's just that special to the KC). If passed, Sparrow will express relief at understanding the KC's perspective and will reaffirm she believes in the KC. This will lock her relationship as high-trust. If Sparrow's in a romance, this conversation can lead to sex.
Alternatively, the KC can crush Sparrow's hopes and dreams and state she has been misinterpreting the KC's actions toward her as regard or care for her thoughts and feelings, and that they in fact do not care. (This causes a massive trust loss.) Doing this, or failing the persuasion check, will leave Sparrow shaken and upset, believing her worst fears have been confirmed. This will end the conversation and lock Sparrow out of her best ending and can even push her into her low-trust ending.
Provide some dialogue/bark examples!
Conversation start: "At your service."/ "Yes?"
Conversation End: "I won't keep you." / "Until we next set out."
Selection: "I am here." / "We must move on."
Assigned a task: "If you so say." / "Will do."
Skill Check Success: "There." / "Anything else?"
Skill Check Failure: "My skills were not sufficient for this." / "I will do better next time."
Perception check: "We need a closer look at this."
Combat Start: "Stay behind me." / "You go no farther."
Critical Hit: "This will be quick."
Low Health: "I can carry on."
Knocked Unconscious: "...I'm sorry..."
Refusing to equip something: "This will not be useful to me." / "I would need more time with this to utilize effectively."
Provide some examples of companion banters!
Sparrow: I understand your desire for profit...but considering the nonexistent price you paid for stock, I cannot expend more than one hundred gold for it. If you cannot lower your price I will have to take my business elsewhere. Woljif: Fine, fine! A hundred! You and Daeran oughta start an aasimar gang together. This is robbery!
--
Nenio: Aasimar girl, let me examine your wound before you heal. I hypothesize that your celestial heritage provides other avian features besides feather growth and would like to measure your bone density. Sparrow: And compare it to what? Do you plan to break everyone's bones for a control group? Don't answer that. The answer is no--leave me alone.
--
Regill: Your practicality speaks well for your abilities as a soldier. Should you wish, I am sure you would pass induction into the Order. A purchase could be made from your current owner and you could earn your way out of your chains. Sparrow: [with barely suppressed rage] What an interesting option for my future, Paralictor. If you'll excuse me.
--
Arueshalae: You are so wary with everyone, and yet you would trust a demon. I am grateful but...why? Sparrow: I...trust has nothing to do with it. We are shaped by where we come from, but we are also more than those places. If you truly wish to change, my condemnation will not help you nor protect me from betrayal if you are lying.
--
Wenduag: So you've lived your life in under the boot of a master...it makes sense. The way you bend under the slightest pressure--it just proves that the weak are only meant to serve the strong. Sparrow: Speak of this again in my presence and you will see how weak I am.
--
Seelah: --and you just need to meet more people! C'mon, it'll just be a few of the soldiers, some good drink, and a hearty meal. Say you'll come? Sparrow: I would not be much company but...if you insist. Thank you.
--
Ember: Sparrow, why do you hide all the time? We're friends, but you're always wearing your mask. Your real face is very pretty, you should show it more! Sparrow: Masks are not just for hiding...they also guard. The smarter move is to stay protected. If I were braver like you, maybe I would try. But I am not.
--
Daeran: I used to see you, you know, shadowing the corners of banquets in Nerosyan. You would never speak a word--my set thought you were either too stupid for speech or had been rendered unable due to some tragic accident. And yet the truth is so much more boring...you just like to act like you have nothing to say. Sparrow: [if Act 3 quest is not complete] I found Mendev's elite had no worthwhile topics of conversation. I am sure you understand, Count. [If act 3 quest is complete] You are an intelligent man. Surely you understand why I did not wish to draw attention to myself while I playacted a noblewoman.
Sparrow: --and if you ever bothered to take a moment to actually look at the--wait. You're goading me again, aren't you. Daeran: Don't stop now! You were just about to convince me, I'm sure. And your face when you bother to have an expression is actually quite fetching.
#cassy writes#oc: sparrow#ngl. i do not expect anyone to actually read this the whole way through#there's a fun meme and then there's brainrot but the migraine has hit and i am past shame#wrath of the righteous#pathfinder wrath of the righteous#pwotr#wotr#pwotr pals
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