#especially considering she’s the one with field work experience LOL

[twelvebooksstuff]

Finally!!! Some Book!Sarah Harding content!! Firstly I LOVE the art, it captures her VERY well!! Everything from the colors to the facial expression is just spot on!!

Secondly, they ABSOLUTELY did her dirty in the movie, to the point where they are barely even the same character anymore. And combining her with Richard Levine was a mistake for many reasons, not the least that they are foils to each others, and that Sarah would never be so impulsive!!

local man dismayed to learn that awesome female action hero is even more awesome in the book than the movie: “why did they do my girl dirty, watering her down like that?” he asks.

(meme below the cut)

[xiaomainlmao]

Tighnari teaching Cyno a few things about love with your help

Just a random brain rot from last night lol.

The slightly suggestive part is highlighted separately.

----------

When Cyno starts developing a crush, he doesn't really accept it because he wasn't sure of his feelings. Of course he consulted Tighnari first, and of course he received a "you're falling for them idiot" from him after he denied it for the nth time.

But when Cyno finally accepts that he is in love, he consults Tighnari again.

Surely Tighnari could help him with his feelings right? Especially since he has you, and thus has experience in this field

Everything starts nice and easy, with the two of them first discussing how real the light novels are when it comes to relationships

Planning a confession was also not so difficult (executing the plan was a different story though, it took Cyno months to finally go through with it)

Oh boy, forget about organizing dates, Cyno didn't even know how to hold someone's hand without a strictness like he's arresting or protecting them

And that's where you came in.

Tighnari starts with holding your hand and letting Cyno observe how gentle his hold was

If you don't mind it, then Cyno probably tried to hold your hand too, trying not to be too rough

He considered you a friend, plus he was in his "deep-learning" mode, so he didn't get embarrassed around you

Then came how sappy he should be, what phrases he should use and how often he should say things

Tighnari was in control through most of this conversation, but you had to help him neutralize his views because Cyno was a different person and you knew that all of Tighnari's tricks may not work for Cyno

(all of this would be easier if you know who Cyno's crush is, but depending on how you ask him, he would either be a bit too straightforward about his answer or would avoid answering that question for days)

(Cyno gets embarrassed easily and Tighnari loves teasing him)

You guys try teaching him the language of flowers! Just make sure the topic doesn't stray too far away from flowers though... (Tighnari may end up rambling about plants in general, and then start complaining about poisonous mushrooms and how people always mistake fungi for plants)

you both take turns telling Cyno about things he can do, things he can buy and where they can take them

Tighnari even teaches Cyno how he can make bookmarks out of leaves and flowers, because who doesn't love them?

All this ends up being a fun bonding activity for the three of you

When Cyno does go on the date, you both follow him

Is it to determine whether the person he's interested in deserves him or not? Partially

Mostly you, or rather, Tighnari is going to observe how Cyno deals with the date, because he's going reprimand him for any foolish mistakes he makes (Tighnari is a strict teacher in everything lol)

If Cyno's interest ends up being Nilou, then she'll probably notice the two of you behind him.

She might even wave at you when Cyno is not paying attention, a knowing smile on her face

----------

the not-so-sfw part

this part starts when Cyno's crush (now partner) tries getting intimate with him

but Cyno is not experienced at all so he asks you and Tighnari about your first time

Tighnari may end up getting a bit too scientific though by using proper terms and all the risks involving everything

this is also the part where you start feeling like Tighnari may have an exhibition kink

"How do you kiss someone?" Tighnari's answer should have been "just go with it, it may feel awkward at first but you get into it eventually"

but no

he uses you to show Cyno how to initiate kisses

the first one is a simple, innocent one where he gently holds your face and kisses you

and then comes the "if they like it rough, try this", where he pulls into him and kissing you aggressively

"or this one, which is rather popular in light novels", where Tighnari pins you up against the wall

Cyno observes you both closely until Tighnari actually kisses you, that's when he turns away saying "okay I think that's enough for me"

Thank god he turned around

Thank god Cyno did not notice Tighnari's knee because gosh that would've been even more embarrassing than it already is.

Tighnari also shows Cyno how he can hold their waist or just hug them from behind in general

He wraps his hands around your stomach and snuggles close to your neck, making you giggle

Even Cyno thought that was a cute hug

In the next one, Tighnari holds your waist and sways you around. His instructions for this one was for Cyno to imagine he was in a ballroom, dancing to slow music. Just typical romantic stuff

The NEXT one however, was a bit more... intimate

Tighnari pulls you closer by the waist and snuggles into you, his tail effectively covering the hand that was hovering a bit too close to your thighs.

He tells Cyno that this one can be used when his partner is feeling down and wants to feel protected (except, Cyno did not know where Tighnari's hand was, so he thought it was a completely innocent affair)

He ends the session by teasing Cyno about how he should ask him about even more intimate things next time to which Cyno replies "yeah no, I think I get that part. Your recollection of your first experience was enough for me."

Tighnari just laughs, but you notice his eyes. The slight disappointment in them. He wanted to show you off.

You don't know how to ask him but questions start running through your head.

Would he do this in front of everyone? Knowing him, he won't. He'll probably want to do it in front of people he completely trusts

Does he want to share you? Maybe with Cyno, and that's it. Probably not even with Al Haitham or Kaveh.

Would he let someone else do the same things he does to you? No, you don't think so. He'll only let them get so far with you.

While you ponder, you notice Tighnari smiling at you.

He must have realized what you were thinking about, because he just smirks and asks "well, how did you like that?"

----------

[malfiora]

Characterization Compendium

Key

Star sign: (canon vs. inspiration) traits from that sign that fit with this character

Canon = this is the character's sign based off their official/generally accepted birthday

Inspiration = this is the sign that this character reminds me of, and here's why

Colors are based off the elements each sign could be:

Air • Water • Fire • Earth

Batfam

Bruce

Walks the razor's edge between light and dark and develops an unhealthy but necessary dependence on his kids (particularly Dick) to stay grounded in the light.

Loves his kids, loves being around them, will never say this to them unless he's on the brink of death but there are signs. Loves them all equally but treats them differently based on personality, age, and background, which is often mistaken as him playing favorites (it's not).

Immutable personal moral code but demonstrates mental flexibility (or cognitive dissonance) toward others, especially his allies.

I go back and forth between Catholic, Jewish, and agnostic for him.

Pisces: (canon) works well with any other sign, creative, deeply emotional and intuitive, hates being inauthentic, shuts down when hurt or slighted, nonconfrontational (in relationships not in the field lol – he'd rather ignore the problem than have a difficult conversation about it)

Dick

Extremely observant, which manifests as intuition. This means that both his deductive reasoning skills and ability to read others are par excellence. In social settings, he won't vocalize this process (depending on the context he may not even realize he's doing it) but will react to whatever he reads. Others read this as charm (or intimidation).

Talent for leadership despite working more efficiently alone. Both his charisma and experience make people naturally turn to him, and a deep seated compulsion to meet others' expectations means he often does take the lead.

Relationships: Barbara is one of his best friends before anything else; Jason is his (the one he gave the mantle of Robin to, the person who first shifted his identity toward mentor/big brother); Tim is the first he got to mentor; Damian is the son-brother (the one he raised and dotes on)

Scorpio: (canon? inspiration) [I will die on this hill] charismatic, manipulative, deeply and darkly emotional (some may say broody), fiercely protective of loved ones to the point of avenging them, holds grudges probably longer than he should, will lash out when hurt but feel bad about it

Barbara

Used to dealing with men who have strong feelings about everything (i.e. Dick and Bruce) and not being taken seriously (first year or so as Batgirl, then later dealing with people's perceptions of her while disabled) so nothing phases her. Still, she has some insecurities, which she overcomes with sheer force of will that projects strength. Ultimately, she'd rather suffer in silence.

Doesn't completely agree with all of Bruce's ideologies (leading to some friction between her and Dick), especially around killing since her father's a cop. But they align enough to be allies. She respects Bruce and believes in Batman.

Aquarius: (inspiration) Follows her own inner compass, pulls away the more someone tries to control her, enjoys engaging in mental exercises

Jason

As Robin, he was constantly caught in the tension of living up to Dick's example and wanting to be considered his own person. He always treated Robin with reverence and tried to do everything by the book. His own trauma and Bruce's guilt have convinced them both that Jason was a "problem" – he wasn't. He took school and his material comforts seriously because he never had them, so he was a tidy kid and a great student. Critical thinking skills that he honed from reading classic lit.

As Red Hood, he's now torn between living his own life/principles and begrudgingly wanting to regain Bruce's trust/faith if not his love. (He's never lost Bruce's love, but he has yet to accept this.)

When he came back to Gotham, he was pissed that his death seemed to change nothing: Joker was still alive, Batman had a new Robin, and crime was still everywhere. He took matters into his own hands. He still believes his way is better than Bruce's but recognizes that it's futile to pursue his vision with the Batfam still around. If he thinks he can get away with it, he'll kill someone he thinks deserves to be killed (e.g. someone who hurts children, sexual assault perp)

Leo: (canon) headstrong, charismatic leader who attracts people to him even if he doesn't try/want to/understand why, can be insecure about why people like him (are they just using him/wanting something from him, or so they genuinely like him?), protective of those closest to him, he'll talk a lot of shit but it actually takes a lot to provoke him to act, but when he does it's vicious and you'll feel like you deserved it

(Additional context)

Tim

Burnt out gifted kid who was adultified as a teenager because he had to basically raise an adult (i.e. help piece together again Bruce's mental health). Middle kid syndrome – used to being ignored and uses it to his advantage. Often manipulates (or tries to) the others to enact some plan. Pretty shameless

Knows a lot of random stuff because it's helpful for a case but kinda clueless about anything else, great at deductive reasoning. Lives to terrorize Dick (sometimes) and Jason (always), while genuinely trying to be a good big brother to Damian and Duke.

I usually envision Tim as middle/upper class east/southeast Asian, which comes with a few features: private tutors, attending a private or magnet school, expected to go to college; additionally, some cultural practices that Tim doesn't take too seriously since his family is multi-gen American. He def has a jade Buddha necklace somewhere at home.

Libra: (inspiration) rigid sense of justice and morality, good judge of character

Cassandra

Doesn't speak often, preferring to listen and use nonverbals. Has strong opinions about things. Protective of her adoptive family, enjoys participating in shenanigans if only because she's included.

I want to learn more about Cass and think harder about how I want to write her, doesn't stop me from trying.

Taurus: (inspiration) strong opinions that take a lot of energy to change, reliable, trustworthy, stoic

Steph

Keeps things lighthearted but doesn't forgive very easily. She and Bruce have a shaky relationship due to his (perceived) lack of trust in her but she keeps things positive due to her love and respect for Barbara, Cass, and Tim.

Extremely resourceful, solid investigative and deductive reasoning skills, dedicated to the mission, fiercely loyal but also independent.

It can't be overstated how much I respect Stephanie's ability to fill a role, on top of her creating her own.

Sagittarius: (inspiration) down for adventure, has her own set of principles and doesn't follow people who don't adhere to hers or at least have their own, impulsive, good with money, regrets nothing

Damian

Projects self confidence, which is mostly authentic, but he has some deep insecurities around living up to the expectations and examples of everyone who came before him. Extremely independent but protective of those who rely on him / he cares about.

Inevitably acts like a child when it comes to mature topics, feeling strong emotions, and wanting to form connections with others (particularly caretakers). Strict vegetarian due to his respect for life, was raised Muslim and maintains some of the cultural practices.

Leo: (canon) Very much an August Leo – somehow attracts others to him regardless of how he feels about it, no need for external validation (although it's nice to hear), respects competence

Duke

Simultaneously has a lot to prove and needs no one's approval. He cannot sit by when he has the power to do something. Exercises probably the most emotional intelligence and self awareness of the Batfam. Doesn't fully see himself as part of the Batfam, and definitely feels guilty about being "chosen" when his other WAR friends were discarded. He looks up to Tim, who was mostly Robin when Duke was a kid.

Def uses his Black card when it makes life easier or funnier for him. Similarly, he plays up being a metahuman to garner sympathy or whatever from the others. Deep down, he's insecure about his powers because he doesn't know many other folks with powers who can help him train.

Leo: (canon) charismatic leader who attracts people to him, independent, doesn't care about what people think of him because he knows himself, knows exactly how to be annoying

Miscellaneous

How the sibs see each other (post)

[looney-mooney-studio]

I have two questions for the Linda Cipher AU! (More might come in the future lol)

-What do some of Linda’s friends/colleagues/family members think of Linda during her time with Bill/after the initial breakup? Especially with how it seems like she gets worse and worse overtime?

-Also does Bill have any alternative forms (such as a more human form) in this AU? Or is he just his funky triangular self?

Excited to see more of this AU’s development :)

Okay, so. In my mind, she fucked the triangle. It is the triangle she dated, the triangle she had a partnership with, and the triangle she had kids with. But in the Star Wars special, Candace specifically says “Oh cool, mom remarried?”, meaning she WAS publicly married to SOMEONE. Most likely someone who at least APPEARED human enough to have seemingly 100% human kids with.

But Bill doesn’t have a physical form in the human world, and he certainly doesn’t have the ability to make his own body here. (Sorry human bill fans.) We know he can possess people (my friends and I even tossed around the idea he might have possessed one of her colleagues), but then that’s a whole other person he’d have to make a deal with to bring into this and I’d prefer to keep the story cleaner than that. This isn’t about Linda being with some random guy who Bill happens to be possessing, this is about Linda being with Bill.

We know he can possess corpses, but I don’t think Linda would agree to keeping a deceased human body in her house, even if it’s just a vessel for her husband to keep up appearances. What’s far more likely, especially in a show with hyper realistic prosthetic and robotic technology like Phineas and Ferb, is for her to make him a puppet. Or at least, have one commissioned.

With that established, let me throw you a curveball. Do yall remember this guy?

This guy is Professor Parenthesis (pronounced paren-thesis, like a college paper), a former colleague and current wannabe arch nemesis to Major Monogram. He was introduced in the OWCA Files special. When promo materials of this dude were first going around, there was a pretty decent chunk of the Phineas and Ferb fandom who theorized he might be the biological Flynn father, since he bears a not insignificant resemblance to Candace and Phineas.

Then the episode aired and we found out he was actually a bug piloting an android.

So. You know. That kind of killed the theory. And now the Book of Bill’s come out and the closest we’ll ever get to canon confirmation of a possible biological father for the Flynn kids is a one-off joke implying that Linda had intimate relations with a sentient demonic extra dimensional triangle, so the theory’s like, extra turbo dead.

What I’m about to propose is absolutely not true. Professor Parenthesis is shown to be a skilled roboticist, and most likely built this android from scratch himself. But WHAT IF this was a discarded android that Professor Parenthesis found, studied, fixed, and modified for his own purposes? That would be much easier for him to do than building it from scratch himself, considering the amount of large heavy machinery it contains.

I don’t think Linda has much experience working with robotics, but Linda very much strikes me as a collaborative scientist, not the lone pioneer that Ford tried to be. She could very easily have found fellow scientists in other fields to help her develop technology like this, and she could say she wants it for the possibility of remote space exploration, making it easier for people to experience space and do tasks such as space station repairs without spending money sending actual people into space.

She’d argue it should be as humanoid as possible, since humans are used to piloting ourselves and she’d say the transition should be as immersive and seamless as possible. She could also propose the technology could be used for other purposes, such as the development of artificial limbs. She wants a remotely pilot-able android that mimics the human experience as much as possible, including the dexterity and sensory feedback of an above-average human body to compensate for a large variety of skill levels. And she thinks this sort of technology will need several prototypes, some of which will fail.

It’s not too difficult for her to obtain a “failed prototype” as a gift for her partner.

When people meet Linda’s new partner, she introduces him as William Cipher Birchtree, long-lost heir to the Birchtree family legacy of Ciphertology, named for their god. He seems strange, but he makes her happy, and though his beliefs are peculiar, he also seems to be a good match for her wit, and it’s not like there aren’t scientists with strange beliefs out in the world. Her colleagues tease her for her involvement with the cult, but her work is sound, revolutionary even, and she works exceptionally well with her colleagues. Even if she’s getting bizarrely involved with her husband’s obscure cult.

When she breaks up with her partner - her husband - she cuts off all ties to the scientific community. She destroys her own life’s work - a portal to other dimensions, one specifically designed to make faster-than-light speed travel feasible by taking advantage of foreign laws of physics - and renounces it all, warning everyone she knows never to use the portal.

She can’t skip town though, she kept most of her technology in the basement, and she doesn’t want anyone else getting their hands on it and potentially letting her ex husband through. And beside which, her daughter’s best friend lives next door. She can’t bring herself to cut out her safety net entirely, and not many of her neighbors were even aware she was an astrophysicist in the first place. So she stays in Danville. And, eventually, she meets someone who loves her even when she’s not being revolutionary.

[kamryn1963]

So Long, London- Chapter 22\30

A little late but better late than never I guess, lol (it's been a long week)

But here it finally is, so enjoy!

Small disclaimer: I'm in no way shape or form a licensed medical professional or have any experience in the medical field. I'm simply a teenage girl with a laptop, access to google and a dream. So please take anything medical related in this fic with a grain of salt.

It felt like an eternity before a doctor came out with any sort of news. Trudy was the one who talked to him when he finally did, considering she was Al’s emergency contact. 

With how bad it could be, Trudy had to remind herself that Al’s injuries could’ve been a lot worse than they are. 

Al had been internally bleeding from his spleen that had ruptured from the explosion. The surgeons had ended up removing his spleen during surgery, as well as stitching up a large gash in Al's leg. Along with that Al had a dislocated shoulder, which had been set, several broken ribs and many bruises and burns. Which thankfully weren't deep. And a concussion which Trudy was just thankful hadn't been worse. 

That’s what she felt about all of his injuries. Especially since Trudy was well aware how the rest of Beckett’s victims had ended up. Alive was a miracle in itself. 

The relief had been palpable when Trudy told the others what the doctor had said. Everybody breathed a sigh of relief. Al would be able to heal from this. It’d take time but he was alive. 

Eventually everyone stood up and eventually split. Erin took Michelle and Lexi down to the cafeteria to get a bite to eat. Both girls had barely said anything since they arrived due to shock and nobody knew if they’d be able to handle seeing their dad right now in this state he was bound to be in. 

Everybody else headed back to the district. No matter how much they all wanted to check in on their friend, everyone was aware that the case, and getting James Beckett behind bars where he deserved to be, was the priority. 

Trudy headed straight up to the ICU to find Alvin’s room number. She wasn't surprised when Hank was right on her heels though she had kind of wished he went back with the others. 

Trudy really wasn’t that angry at him, the only one that had any right to be was Alvin. But she was still pretty pissed and that wasn’t going to change. 

What had happened to Al wasn’t Hank’s fault and Trudy wouldn’t swoop so low as to put the blame on him. Not when she knew he was probably already doing that without her interference. 

That didn’t mean Trudy couldn’t be mad about Hank’s actions before. The mere thought that Alvin Olinsky would steal a million dollars was laughable. Trudy expected a large sum of that money if he had. 

She shook her head as she approached the nurses station, and asked for the room number. Both her and Hank headed down the hallway stopping just outside the room. The curtain was partially open and a nurse was clearly checking Al’s vitals, so neither of them went in yet but they still got a clear look at their friend. 

“Al”. Hank whispered hoarsely as they got sight of him. 

Al was still intubated, Trudy thinks she vaguely remembered the doctor mentioning something about that. The left side of his face, where Trudy figured he landed since most of his injuries seemed to be on his left side, was bruised and cut up badly. Trudy could see some of the burns on his face and more on what was visible of his arms and chest. 

This wasn’t the first time Hank and Trudy saw Al hurt, not by a long shot. But it was the first time in a while since it had been this bad. Since Trudy had truly felt the fear of losing her best friend. Her brother. 

“Trudy? We can head in”. Hank said quietly and Trudy realized she’d been spacing out again. She followed Hank silently, standing on one side of the bed while Hank went to the other. 

“Alvin? Hey, we're here”. Trudy said softly even though she doubted Al could hear her. She set a cautious hand on his forehead like she was worried that gentle touch would break him. 

They sat in silence for what felt like hours, the steady beeping of the heart monitor the only sound in the room. Both held one of Al’s hands as they got lost in their own thoughts before Hank finally spoke. 

“I wasn’t thinking rationally. I know that. And I’m sorry”. Hank winced a little at the unfamiliar words but he knew he had to say them.

“It’s not me that you need to apologize too”. Trudy reminded him a little sharply but she didn’t feel like softening her words right now. 

“I know. You mind stepping out for a minute, Dee?” Hank asked as he moved his chair closer to Al’s bed, gently squeezing his hand. 

Trudy looked a bit hesitant, but still nodded as she exited the room, pulling her phone out to send an update to Antonio and Erin. 

Hank didn’t say anything for a couple minutes, just looked at Al. Really looked at him. Past the injuries and his cut up face. He saw the dark bags under Al’s eyes, the way he looked so much older than he was. How he looked stressed even in sleep. 

“Al? Can you hear me? I’m sorry. God I’m so sorry- I- god…” Hank’s voice broke and his head fell forward as his shoulders shook with silent sobs. 

What had he done?

Hank righted himself and froze. Due to having a firm hold on Al’s hand, Hank moving had tugged Al’s arm slightly. Not much or enough to hurt him, but enough that Hank now had a good view of Al’s forearm. 

What had caught his eye was a few new burns settled amongst old and healing cuts. The cuts all looked old enough but the burns is what worried Hank. They weren’t fresh but they were definitely new. 

Hank knew exactly how Al had gotten these burns on his arm. Them not being fresh told him that they weren’t from today. 

“Al. God damnit”. Hank sighed as he focused on Al’s face again before turning to where he knew Trudy was just outside the door. 

Hank was trying to figure out if he should call her back in or what he should do when he heard a choked moan from the bed. 

Hank leaned in a bit closer, and saw Al’s eyelids beginning to flutter. 

“Trudy? He’s waking up!” 

[starlight-time-machine]

Week in Review

08/18/2024 – 08/24/2024

Sunday

Week 28 of missing Cipher Academy

UNDEAD UNLUCK PEAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK Ruin coming back to ruin the day is another callback moment, but it’s so gratifying to see Fuuko react entirely different this time around – it really shows just how much she’s grown. In general, Fuuko’s just so kickass in this chapter…AND THE TITLE DROP WITH ANDY COMING BACK AHHHHHHHHHHH

SpyFam was literally a nothing chapter lol not to be a slice of life complainer but. Even the slice of life elements of it weren’t interesting to read.

Nui ni Koishite ii Desu ka?: I haven’t read a lot of straight romance manga…I’m just not big into the genre, I think… But I felt strangely compelled by this one when I saw a plot description on Twitter, and I surprisingly really enjoyed reading it. I think I just like romances where the main leads are forced into a situation where they have to help each other out/keep a mutual secret (such as Fruits Basket). I like the comedy that arises from their absurd situation, I like that the girl is a little unsettling about her love of plushies, and I like that due to the nature of the curse, the guy has to be invested in making the girl happy. God, if this manga had come out like ten years ago, it would’ve gotten the 60 chapter run it deserved rather than the rushed 2 volume run we got here… The romance progressed quickly, which was nice, but I would’ve really loved to see them either develop the romantic build up more or explore their life as a couple afterwards, especially in regards to each other’s families (we haven’t seen the girl’s family at all)… I haven’t read the ending yet so there’s still a bit to go, but I mourn for what could have been. Now I’m gonna have to be the weirdo championing for this shoujo manga that literally like only ten people outside of Japan have read…

Monday

Umm

Tuesday

REVUE STARLIGHT EL DORADO HAS FINALLY ARRIVED I have work to do but I couldn’t help myself and played through a route…the Kaoruko and Maya route is sooo funny and cute, and seeing Ayasa reach new heights in her voice acting as Salvatore was a real highlight. I was, admittedly, a little disappointed in the overarching story: I was hoping Judy would be more of a menace like they were priming her to be, and I can’t believe they didn’t even show us the KaoMaya corporate bonding retreat… The most this route did was give Class B more of a spotlight, but even then they were kind of just reaffirming their intentions without going through much of a real arc. El Dorado was fun, and the music was great, but it being truncated also left me wanting more. (And this is unfair to El Dorado, but Salvatore’s backstory was so similar to Ouyang’s from She Who Became the Sun that I was expecting a similar arc trajectory, only to be somewhat let down when it wasn’t as brutal as SWBTS lol. But maybe that’ll be different in the full version of El Dorado.)

Watched the Make Some Noise episode with Brennan, Jacob, and Lou and goddd it was so funny. The three of them have great energy together.

Wednesday

Umm

Thursday

Read through both volumes of Until I Love Myself, and it was a pretty well told and moving memoir. I appreciated the care that the mangaka put towards depicting the differences in other people’s experiences and how they may have gaps in their own knowledge, but their commitment to connecting with others is inspiring to see. I would give it a 7/10 overall.

Friday

I picked up Potion Permit again. I had bought it in like 2023 and played the shit out of it, but seeing that the dev team was still constantly pushing out pretty major updates, I wanted to wait until it was more complete to play it again. Fast forward to now, where my friend got Fields of Mistria on early access and streamed it to me because I was also interested in the game…it’s cute looking, but I think the issue with a lot of indie games is that their art direction is gorgeous but their writing suffers. And considering how I only play farming sims if there’s a Love Interest I want to date, and how none of Mistria’s options really interest me right now (and the lack of multiplayer)…I probably won’t pick it up in the future. But seeing the various items you can collect and running around doing tasks made me nostalgic for Potion Permit, hence the return of my potion madness. More on it when this gaming binge session ends.

Saturday

Potion Permit’s got me in a vice grip. It’s undeniably a mediocre game, but there’s something about it that really compels me. People have called it grindy and unfinished, and that much is true, but I love grinding the resources and fighting the creatures and doing my little tasks around town in the most efficient way possible and levelling up my bonds with the villagers. I think I just like the conceit of being an apothecary more than being a farmer – I love making potions and supplying them and doing little puzzles as a break away from the regular gameplay. Writing wise it definitely struggles a little, as most of the bond stories aren’t that deep or engaging (Matheo’s romance path is like the only one that has any real chemistry). I feel like there’s an outline of a personality for each character, but their dialogue writing just doesn’t do those personalities justice (the writing voices aren’t strong, and sometimes there are grammatical oddities that make things sound off). Also there’s just way too many characters. Did we really need two sets of “doubles”? And have all four of their names start with D??? Despite of all my gripes, however, I can get sucked into playing this game for hours on end…I’m probably going to go until I max rank everyone’s bond levels and then consider the game complete lol. 7/10.

[babyboibucky]

The Match - Part 8

Pairing: CEO!Bucky x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Summary: You get a preview of what it’s like to be working with Mackenzie.

Warnings: I apologize as there is no smut in here lmfao but there is a stubborn Bucky lols

A/N: The jitters just never go away whenever I post a new part for this ajkcnjasncakjcnakj I find this part boring tbh but uhh things will start picking up again in the next part I promise

The Match Masterlist || MAIN MASTERLIST

Bucky decided to push through with his partnership with Wilson Enterprises. It was a big one, so it definitely required the entire team's effort and perseverance. Apparently, this is the company's biggest, most major project yet so this was going to look really good in your resume. It would also provide you with more credibility to further excel in your career.

Except that Bucky actually hired a marketing consultant to take over the entire project as his revenge.

"Any questions? About the project or about Kenzie?" Bucky asked, standing in front of the conference room, next to Mackenzie.

You confidently raised your hand when no one else did. Bucky tilted his head, a tiny smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. He knew you were affected, of fucking course you were!

"Yes?" he called out.

You stood up and sighed softly, "I mean this in the most respectful way, Mister Barnes." you said, emphasizing his name. "But as the head of marketing, what exactly is my role here? Given that Mackenzie was hired to spearhead the marketing aspect of this project." you said, giving Mackenzie a passive aggressive smile.

"I don't want to overstep on some boundaries here, that's why I'm asking. I just want clarity, that's all." you said.

Bucky was about to respond when Mackenzie stopped him, grabbing his arm and squeezing it before taking over the floor. You narrowed your eyes at how her slender fingers were wrapped around Bucky's arm.

"Honey..." Mackenzie started. "There's nothing to worry about, this is a collaborative work between you and I. So think of yourself as my assistant, someone to help me out with the project." she responded.

Bitch.

"I'm not an assistant, Mackenzie." you said, smiling at her.

Mackenzie laughed, "I'm sorry, my bad. I shouldn't have used that term. Oops." she said. "Although, I believe I have more experience in this area so maybe consider me a mentor?" she suggested.

Bitch!

Bucky cleared his throat, "If you have certain ideas, you can discuss it with her. She is a consultant after all. Given her impressive experience in the field, I'm sure you'll learn a thing or two from her."

The meeting was wrapped up by noon and you simply couldn't wait to get yourself out of the conference room. You didn't feel like talking to Bucky anymore in all honesty, not after what he was doing. You knew this was just to spite you, get you to cave in first and give in to him.

All the more that you wouldn't, especially not when he actually used your job against you.

Everyone started rushing out of the conference room, ready to head out for lunch. As soon as you reached the doorway, you overheard the short conversation between Bucky and Mackenzie.

"Hey Bucky, we still up for lunch?"

-

The bathroom was empty when you stepped inside and thank god for that because you couldn't hold back your emotions any further. Tears gathered in the corner of your eyes, not because you were hurt. Fuck no, you were angry and frustrated. So fucking angry at yourself for getting into this mess, at Bucky for being such an entitled prick, at the entire world for plotting against you.

You groaned in irritation as you wiped away your tears, sniffing as you looked at yourself in the mirror.

You worked your ass off for this job, for your position. You risked your dignity when you let Bucky fuck you. You weren't going to let someone take that away from you.

You quickly fixed yourself when the door opened, followed by the loud clacking of someone's heels.

"Omg, are you crying?" Beverly gasped, rushing over to you.

You snickered, "No." you lied, "My eyes are itchy." you huffed out before noticing that Beverly was holding a sandwich in her hand.

"Why did you bring your sandwich here?" you curiously asked.

Beverly shrugged, "The pantry's full and the other girls don't exactly seem to like me...so..."

You shook your head and sighed, "Come with me, let's have lunch out. I need to get out of this fucking place anyway."

"Yay, omg! I knew you were nice! You're like, the only girl who actually talked to me nicely." Beverly said, tagging behind you as you exited the bathroom.

"Oh, there you are!" Mark called out. "I was looking for you. Wanna grab lunch? Oh...who's this?" he asked, noticing the blonde girl trailing behind you.

"I'm Beverly! I'm Sir James' new secretary." she introduced excitedly.

You sighed, "Don't ask me why." you said when Mark turned to you with a confused look, still not sure what happened to Bucky's previous secretary.

"So, lunch out? With Bev?" you asked.

-

You were completely zoning out during lunch despite the ongoing conversation between Mark and Bev, something about yoga? You honestly couldn't care less, not when you were feeling so conflicted about your current situation.

Would Bucky actually go that far just to get you back? Or does he actually hate you for saying no to him and is basically using his authority to make your life a living hell?

"So I heard about the new girl." Mark said, that snapped you out of your trance.

"Huh?" you asked.

"I find it weird for Mister Barnes to hire someone when you're here." Mark pointed out. "I mean, are you okay with that or..."

You snorted, "Fuck no. Look, I'm not gonna be the bigger person here. I was offended as fuck." you admitted.

"Yeah, it's super weird because she was hired through Tinder or something. Is that even legal?" Beverly pointed out as she scrolled through her phone.

You and Mark turned to her abruptly, "Tinder? Wait, what?" you asked.

Beverly chuckled, "I heard them talking this morning and Kenzie was like, 'It's so funny that we matched on Tinder and ended up doing business there you know' and I'm like omg Sir James has Tinder and I have one too but I never saw him there, bummer."

"Motherfucker." you hissed out.

Mark made a face, "Are you okay?" he carefully asked. "You've been really tensed since last week."

Apparently, Bucky never deleted his Tinder and have been swiping right on women. And that's how he met Mackenzie who just happened to be a marketing consultant. Now you were just furious, was he fucking her too? Has he been fucking other women this entire time?

"Hey, Bev..." you said, a plan hatching inside your mind. "Can I ask you a favor?" you asked nicely.

Beverly nodded, "Um duh, you're basically my office BFF now."

"If you ever hear Mister Barnes and Mackenzie talk about hmm, I don't know...something interesting. Maybe about the project...me 'cause you know, I'm the head of marketing and Mackenzie’s in the same field...let me know, will ya?" you asked.

Mark chuckled nervously, "I don't know what's going on but isn't that an invasion of privacy?"

"She's not going to eavesdrop, Mark. She'll just...listen closely." you explained.

"Bev might get in trouble if Mister Barnes finds out." Mark warned.

You waved a hand, "She'll be fine, Mark. She's his secretary, she has to know everything. Besides, I'm not going to let her get in trouble, if she does then I'll take care of it."

Beverly squealed in delight, "Omg, you are not my office BFF. You're like my office mom! You and Mark are literally my office parents." she said, lifting her phone up in the air.

"Selfie! This one goes to the 'gram." she said, taking a quick photo of the three of you.

She then proceeded to edit the photo while you and Mark continued eating lunch.

"Bev, you should really put your phone away and eat first. We have less than half an hour left for lunch break." Mark called out.

Beverly groaned and rolled her eyes, "Way to get into the role, Mark. You're such a dad."

You snorted, "Yeah. Loosen up, daddy." you teased.

"Playing family after just one date, huh."

Bucky's presence in the same restaurant should've really intimidated you, most especially that he just witnessed you tease Mark like that. But you were too mad at him to even care, what was the point even? He didn't believe you even when you told him the truth that Mark was just a friend.

Why even try now?

"Hi Sir James." Beverly greeted happily.

"Mister Barnes." Mark acknowledged.

Bucky ignored them and kept his eyes on you. You didn't falter under his gaze and simply stared back at him with blank eyes. It's as if a staring competition took place when the both of you merely looked at each other, neither of you looking away nor attempting to do so.

"How was that date last Friday, Jim?" Bucky asked, his eyes still trained on yours.

Mark made a funny face at the name that Bucky called him but shrugged anyway. Before he could even respond, you decided to answer on his behalf. If Bucky wanted to spite you, you'd give him a taste of his own medicine.

"It was actually great. We might go on another one this Friday." you said.

"We are?" Mark asked in a whisper.

Bucky's hand landed on Mark's shoulder, "Don't count on it, Andrew. She's going to be doing a lot of work on Friday due to the project." he said through gritted teeth.

You shrugged, "Oh, but I thought Mackenzie's doing all my work?"

"I'm ready to head back, Buck."

Speak of the devil herself. Mackenzie weaved through the tables and approached Bucky, her face brightening up when she saw you, Mark and Beverly.

"Oh, hey you." she greeted you. "Look, I think we may have started off on the wrong foot earlier. I'm not here to take your job, just here to spice things up a bit. Improve your ideas, give Bucky some assistance." she chuckled, holding onto Bucky's arm yet again.

You fought back the urge to grab your glass of water and throw it at her face. As the saying goes, kill them with kindness. So you merely shrugged and extended an arm for a handshake.

"Of course. I would love to improve your ideas as well, you know. Just a healthy discourse between two marketing professionals. We good?" you said.

Mackenzie forced out a chuckle and reached for your hand, "We’re good. I look forward to working with you." she said before turning back to Bucky who was still gazing at you.

"Let's go?" she asked sweetly.

Bucky smirked at you before wrapping an arm around Mackenzie's waist, guiding her out of the restaurant the same way he did to you. You were too focused on Bucky's body language around Mackenzie that you failed to notice that Mark was watching you closely, your expressions and how you reacted towards Bucky.

"I think I know what's happening."

-

"You what?!"

"Shhh!" you hushed Mark and peeked out of the empty pantry to make sure the coast was clear.

Mark noticed the tension between you and Bucky and he came to a conclusion that the both of you dated at one point. He wasn't really wrong but he wasn't right either. So you decided to tell him everything, from the moment you matched with Bucky on Tinder until your last conversation with him last Saturday.

"I honestly thought you were dating, I didn't know there was sex involved. No wonder he had been calling me weird names." he said incredulously. "Was that you and Mister Barnes that Janet reported to the HR?" he asked, stifling his laughter.

You groaned, "Yes. Ugh, gave me a panic attack when I found out about that incident report." you said.

"Hey..." Mark called out. "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this. Your secret is safe with me." he reassured.

You nodded, "I think it was about time that I told someone about us anyway. This whole situation is driving me crazy and I don't know what to do next. And I'm sorry for dragging you into this mess, I shouldn't have said that we were going out again. I don't want you or your job getting compromised because of our petty fight." you exhaled.

You had to admit, you felt so much better now after confiding with Mark. It somewhat alleviated the weight on your shoulders, knowing that there was someone aware of what you were going through. Who would've thought that this person would end up being Mark? You did have friends outside of work of course, but you felt like they all wouldn't really understand the situation.

Half would hate you for rejecting Bucky and the other half would hate you for even swiping right on him.

"Do you mind an unsolicited advice?" Mark asked.

"Not at all." you said.

"Ignore him. Don't let him or Mackenzie get to you. Do what you do best, you're great at your job and you'll be fine. That might get him to realize that you're not a prize to be won. And if he still doesn't see that, then that's his loss. You're more than just that hot marketing girl at work." Mark said.

You laughed at his last statement, "Hot marketing girl at work?" you asked, shaking your head.

"It's true. So if in any case you decide to ditch the CEO and move on, you know where to find me." he joked, throwing a wink your way.

-

You wanted to finish all your reports so you could focus on the huge project so you decided to work until around nine in the evening. The floor was already empty by the time you were done. Bucky seemed to be working too, given that he was still replying to e-mails at this hour. Wanting to get all the reports over with, you decided to submit it to him before going home.

During the elevator ride to Bucky’s floor, you couldn’t help but wonder whether he was alone in the office. Would Mackenzie be there with him? Even at this hour? Your grip on the folder tightened at the thought of catching them in the act.

But did you have any right to feel this way though?

Brushing off the thoughts, you exhaled loudly and prepared yourself for whatever it was you were to witness. Upon reaching the door to Bucky’s office, you slightly turned your head to listen to anything. It was quiet. No hushed whispers nor strained grunts-- they weren’t fucking, thank goodness for that.

You decided not to knock and just walk inside like you used to, reminding yourself of Mark’s advice.

Don’t let Bucky get to you.

When you saw Bucky hunched over his desk, typing away on his e-mails instead of bending a certain brunette somewhere in his office, you had to admit that you were relieved. He looked up and his eyes looked dead tired, you almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

“You should really learn how to knock.” Bucky called out, slamming his laptop shut.

“Look, Bucky. I was just rushing to submit these reports so I can go home.” you explained and placed the folder on top of his desk.

Bucky frowned, “I said to call me Mister Barnes.”

You huffed out, “I honestly don’t care, Bucky. I’m not playing your damn games anymore.” you said and turned around.

A hand on your arm pulled you back, harshly turning you around to face Bucky. He was fuming, as usual. At this point, you were no longer fazed.

“You think I don’t know what you’re trying to do?” he asked.

You clenched your jaw and pulled your arm back, “I’m not doing anything. You bring in Beverly or Mackenzie or whoever it is that you have up your sleeve. I don’t fucking care. I just want to focus on work.” you said and stepped away.

“And you should too, Bucky.” you added.

“I don’t believe you.” he said.

You sighed, your shoulders dropping from exhaustion at this whole shenanigan. “I’m done, Bucky.”

And with that you turned around to exit his office, leaving Bucky unsure whether you truly meant what you said. A victorious smirk graced your lips as you walked back to the elevator.

You were far from done.

-

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[russadler]

All That Remains: Chapter Two

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

A look back to happier times and a defining conversation

A/N: Hey lol once again sorry I took so long. This chapter is relatively shortish (?) because it was originally part of the next chapter, but I decided to split it since it was getting long lmao. The next chapter will actually be coming soon I promise I was like almost finished but decided to publish this section since it was done and yall need to get fed.

Also another note I guess? I refer to Russell as “Adler” even though its third person Sophie centric. I believe since they came to know each other through work, Sophie only initially heard/knew of him by his last name and will still refer to him in her mind as such. I didn’t do this much in the first chapter but I thought about it and also it felt weird calling him Russell all the time LMFAOO

August 2nd, 1980

“…I’m surprised you never had kids.” 

It’s more of a question than a statement, and an admittedly nosey one. They’re currently in the midst of a very picturesque picnic in a field of their choosing, the pair of them eating lunch while sprawled across a spare blanket pulled from the back of Russell’s car. The man in question is currently laid on his side, chewing a strawberry and peering up at her with a curiously cocked eyebrow making an appearance over the rim of his aviators. 

Sophie wriggles under the scrutiny, a blush rising to her cheeks as she redirects her eyes towards her leather boots with a timid huff. They had been together for more than enough time by now, enough time for the lustre of having Russell Adler as her boyfriend to have worn off. Yet, even all these months later, a mere glance from the man was enough to leave her flushed and stumbling over her words. 

“I’m sorry —“ She rushes to apologize, sandwich suddenly forgotten as she picks sheepishly at a loose thread on her dress. She had meant to word things a little…differently, but who was she kidding? it wasn’t her place to ask such things in the first place.

With Russell, the more you pressed him, the further away he pulled. His trust came with patience and time, a small price Sophie didn’t mind paying. There were things he held close to himself, his marriage being one of them. It was obviously a sensitive topic, or at least one he didn’t enjoy talking about. She hadn’t intended to interrogate him about the fact he didn’t have any children despite being married for a little over a decade, it was his business. Only recently had he begun sharing that part of his life with her, and it was a sign of his trust that she deeply valued.  

And here she went, utterly obliterating that carefully constructed confidence because she seemed to lack a brain-to-mouth filter.

“You’re fine, kid.”  Russell soothes, interrupting her scattered thoughts. The woman manages to to will herself to look at him again, where his enlivened grin signaling he was more amused than offended by the statement. 

He sits up, and one of his hands moves to rub at her thigh in reassurance. “I admire that you’re always pretty straight to the point.” He notes lightheartedly, subtly pacifying her current flustered state.

The woman huffs, self conscious despite the comforting words. "It gets me in trouble way too much.” She confesses, biting into her sandwich a bit too harshly. It was true. She had a terrible habit of being too honest for as long as she could remember, and it had made for some terribly awkward experiences throughout her life.

“I’d argue telling the truth is a pretty good thing to get in trouble for.” Adler remarks in return, his hand remaining on her thigh as he continues with his lunch. She could tell he was making a point of appearing relatively unconcerned about the whole thing, likely in a bid to provide her some sense of consolation. The man was leaving little room for her to feel upset at herself. 

Sophie releases a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding and relaxes, shoulders loosening as she finishes the last of her sandwich. 

There’s another beat of silence, and then it occurs to her that Russell had managed yet again to wriggle his way out of talking about himself. It was a common pattern, nearly every time she attempted to make conversation that centered around him, he would artfully steer the conversation away from himself and find a way to redirect the topic towards her. 

He was annoyingly good at it, too, and she was just starting to catch on that he was doing it in the first place. 

“Wait! You didn’t answer the question!” The brunette gasps, exasperated. “You always do this!” 

“Do what?” Russell retorts, behaving as if he were completely ignorant of what was the matter. He always acted as if he didn’t know.

“You always find a way to not answer me! Every time you change the subject and then hope I forget!” The woman laughs, failing miserably in her attempt to come across as annoyed. His behavior was maddening, but Sophie often found she was less irritated and more awestruck that the man was so artful at playing people. 

“I’d never do that, you’re just making things up.” Russell quips, mouth twisted with a lopsided smile as he continues the playful banter. “I love talking about myself, actually. Could do it all day.” 

Adler just keeps smirking, stuffing a strawberry into his mouth as he does. The younger rolls her eyes, because as much as she loved him, the man could seriously be a pain. “You don’t actually have to answer the question if you don’t want to. ” She adds, humor now absent from her voice as she quietly rearranges the bundle of wildflowers she had picked.

“I said it was fine, sweetheart. Don’t worry about it.” Russell tells her again, his voice calm and even as he continues to rub circles into her skin. There’s a brief pause, and suddenly the hand on her thigh stops moving. “Wait, do you want kids? Is this your way of asking?” He asks, his head suddenly shifting to level her with a steely gaze. Despite the presence of the aviators on his face, she can feel the intensity of his stare. The man’s demeanor had grown suddenly serious, alert even.

“No! I mean…kids are nice and all and I don’t mind them…but I’m not really dead set on having them.” She explains, her own hand darting to grasp Russell’s larger one. From one moment to the next, it had suddenly become her turn to offer reassurance. “In all honesty, I feel I’d quite rather do without them, really.” She returns the man’s heavy gaze with one of her own, both in search of his reaction and in the hopes of communicating her honesty. "I was just…curious.” She admits shyly.

It was the truth, she wasn’t one of those girls whose ultimate life goal was of being a housewife with the white picket fence, apple pies, and endless kids. There was nothing wrong with that ideal per say, but it wasn’t something she saw herself wanting. 

The woman wasn’t really looking to make children a part of her life. If it happened, it happened, but she could go without them and feel just fine about it. 

Russell, on his part, seemed relieved. Accepting her answer with a nod, his gaze moves towards the sky above as he gives her hand a short squeeze.

Then to her complete surprise, he decides to answer the question anyways. Sophie turns to look at the taller as he begins to speak, shifting to lay on her left side and face him as he leaned back on his hands. 

“Well...there’s a lot of reasons, really. First, my job.” Adler then pauses to spare her a brief glance, as if to ensure she understood what he was attempting to convey. It was no secret that Russell was often away, leaving her for weeks and sometimes months on end. She was never allowed to have any hint of what he was doing or even where he was going, all that she could know was that his work was very important and very dangerous. 

Sometimes she found herself sitting at home and just hoping he was still alive. Confirmation that he was okay only came when he either called her to say he was coming home (which was rare) or until he appeared out of the blue. It wasn’t a feeling she liked having, and a sentiment Russell hated subjecting her to.  

It was just the way it was, the way it had to be. Their relationship would always come second to work, Adler had made that very clear from the start. She was either in or out, and he made sure that she knew the price that she would be paying in being with him.

Russell sighs, the exhale sounding deep and tired before he continues. “It would be unfair to do that to a kid, they wouldn’t understand why their dad was away all the time...And it would have been unfair to my ex, she would have had to essentially raise them all on her own.” 

Sophie nods silently in understanding, the living scenario was on she had come to understand personally. The periods of absence would be difficult on both mother and child for various reasons, and it was good that the couple had weighed the risks.

“Some of the guys at work are okay with that, and have wives that were okay with that, but for us..?” He continues, voice even as he grasps one of the flowers she had stuffed into the picnic basket and begins rolling the stem between his thumb and pointer finger. “We didn’t want kids that bad. We were okay, just it being the two of us.”

“You both ended up going your separate ways, too. I could imagine if you had kids that would have been a nightmare.” She adds, a relatively astute observation but one that she felt was worth mentioning. They had made the right choice after all, it had seemed. 

“God, I’m thankful we didn’t for that reason especially.” Russell replies with audible relief, thankful that children hadn’t been something to consider in their subsequent divorce. 

There’s a moment of silence, and she thinks he’s finished speaking, especially seeing that he officially answered her question. 

But then he sits up properly, clearing his throat before speaking once more. “And all these years later my feelings about it are the same and I don’t regret it.” He tells her, sounding confident and assured as he rips most of the stem away from the main portion of the flower with a powerful yank. “Even if I wanted them now, I’m a bit too old to be a dad. So that ship has long sailed.” 

Sophie nods. Russell was a man of very few regrets, and his sense of judgement was one she had come to trust wholeheartedly. He turns to her, an arm reaching out to tuck a few locks of her hair out of the way before placing the remainder of the flower behind her ear. 

The woman smiles so hard her cheeks ache. Russell Adler was a romantic, despite the fact he vehemently denies it. It was true and no one was going to believe her ever. “I don’t think you really missed out, everyone I know who has kids just complains about them.” She states, still smiling.

The taller’s chest rumbles with a chuckle. Having carefully maneuvering the food out of the way, he then wraps an arm around her shoulders, he pulls her down to lay at his side as she lets out a surprised squeak. “Have we been talking to the same people?” He asks. 

“If one of them is named Jason Hudson, then yes.”

Russell laughs then, and it’s music to her ears.

[writing-in-april]

Converging Parallels

Spencer Reid x Female Single Mom Reader (Spencer’s POV)

Summary: Spencer goes to a support group Penelope suggested after the death of Maeve. He quickly connects with a single mom who’s experiences have been similar to Spencer’s.

A/N: I’m prefacing this by saying I know shit about math and am horrible at it lol 😂 so my math analogies might be horribly off 😂 This is my fifth fic for my 30 fics in 30 days for April- this one was requested by @samuel-de-champagne-problems- this is the request- (go check out there fics too!!) I tweaked it a little bit so I hope you enjoy it 🥺 a lot of it is confined to Spencer grappling with his thoughts- but there is dialogue I promise lol 😂I had a good time writing it ☺️Thanks for all the love recently and if you want to drop me an ask for any reason you can do so here- I’m always looking for some new friends on here (I promise I don’t bite lol) Thanks again and hope y’all enjoy 🥰

Warnings: Angst with a hopeful ending, General dealings surrounding death and grief, Mentions of Maeve’s death, Reader’s a widow, Guilt about moving on, Reader’s child is a daughter

Main Masterlist Word Count: 1.6k

Parallel lines were never supposed to meet, they were set on a strict path following in a similar direction with no hope of ever converging. At least that’s what was the widely accepted definition by anyone with any authority in the field of mathematics.

My own math degree was being contested by a set of two lines set on a collision course with each other, though they were not supposed to. Logically I knew that the two lines were not beholden to any mathematical equation as I was referring to two human lives.

We were set on a similar course, only slight differences that seemingly were leading us to different destinations, or at least I tried to convince myself that. I tried every night to convince myself that she was only a friend, that it wasn’t what she wanted and I was desecrating the memory of the person I still claimed to be the only person I loved.

Logically I knew that by forcing where I wanted our relationship to go, what I thought the universe wanted to happen wasn’t what I truly wanted. The reason I had boxed us in so vehemently was only because I was scared and guilty, I knew it too. I wanted us to converge, but logic doesn’t always win out when dealing with guilt.

It had all started with Garcia mentioning that I should consider going to a grief support group after the death of Maeve. Every action I took was being weighed down by her death, whether I cared to admit it or not.

Garcia had good intentions when she suggested going to this meeting to me, of that I was sure. It isn’t that I saw no reason to go to the support group, I just knew that it would dreg up all the unwanted feelings that bombarded me enough already.

The flier in my hands felt heavy even though it was made of paper it weighed my hands down enough where I almost dropped it. I could have let it go then to have it fly away, being taken by the wind, that would let me forget about it. But, I knew it would have only made me forget for a short while, I’d inevitably get questions from Garcia and my own mind wouldn’t let me forget the reality of what had happened. And, logically I knew that it would most likely help. So instead of letting the wind take it away, I crumpled the paper slightly in my hands out of frustration, moving my feet forward one step at a time to enter the building.

That’s where I had first met her. When I first walked in I didn’t immediately lock eyes with her or anything, my eyes were too fixated on the ground for that to happen.

I only noticed her when she was invited to tell her story. Her strength instantly captivated me, almost making me feel like a failure at first. Her story of how she lost her husband was eerily similar in some aspects, especially the cause of his death. The feeling of failure on my part to be strong swirled in my gut as she recounted her struggles that were so starkly similar to mine. She even had a young daughter to take care of as well, she often spoke of her whenever she told her story, almost neglecting herself sometimes- which she admitted she knew she needed to work on.

However, when she came up to me to talk after the meeting was concluded my opinion switched to view her as inspiring. We began getting coffee after each meeting, sometimes talking for hours, sometimes sitting in silence. Whatever I needed she was there to give it to me, whenever she needed help I wanted to be there too.

To see our almost parallel lives begin to converge at first felt like someone had driven a car into traffic about to collide straight into my path. My mind would not stop arguing about whether or not I should pull away from her or not, like guilt was on shoulder and my potential happiness was on the other.

—-

Guilt was eating away at me from the inside out slowly, that part of my mind would not stop clawing away any good aspect of my relationship with Y/N. The relationship between us had shifted in recent weeks, tension invading what had once been a simply platonic connection formed through our shared experiences. When it became clear to me what our lingering stares and touches were leading to, guilt had reared its ugly head to burrow its way down deep and take root.

It had disrupted my sleep even more than usual, nightmares ranging from Maeve guilting me to the visuals of her death. The images of Maeve and any time I had shared with her invaded my brain at all hours of the night, haunting me. I scrunched my eyes up tight, maybe that would banish the images from my brain. That only made the guilt worse it seemed as I now felt double the guilt for wanting to banish the thoughts about a person I still claimed to love.

My hand hit the pillow in frustration, then grabbing it and throwing it to some unknown location across the room. Sitting up, no longer being able to tolerate laying down knowing that sleep would never come, made my exhausted joints beg me to lay back down. I leaned forward to put my head in my hands, also tangling my curls with my fingers. I tried to think about what Y/N had said to me at one of the first meetings I had attended, my normally impeccable memory struggled as the memory of Maeve’s bloodied face would not leave. Screaming internally was the only thing that seemed to work to push the words I was looking for forward,

“I try to think about something my therapist told me- Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow, May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow.”

The quote wasn’t something groundbreaking or new, though the origins were unknown. But, the words still struck me deep everytime I forced my memory to call back on them.

The words she had spoken in the meeting when talking about her husband made me want to try too. She inspired me whenever she told snippets of her story to me or the rest of the group, her story had been similar to mine- with the added element of having a daughter to raise on her own.

Her strength was what had drawn me to her initially, like a moth to flame. Our relationship wasn’t even a friendship at first, just two people sharing advice (more her giving it to me) about how to deal with crippling grief.

What had blossomed since then from death and decay had thrown me for a loop. I hadn’t been expecting for this to happen, I never even thought romance would be an option for me again. I thought that I would have one great love and that our time in the sun had ended along with any option for romantic interests in the future.

Then she came along and spun my thinking upside down, not that I blamed her at all for it. She originally had just reached out to help me, not to pursue any romantic connection purposefully while I was vulnerable.

She continued to stay with me to help despite my urge to push her away even though that’s not what I wanted. I tried hard to convince myself that our lives were never meant to connect, that we were destined to remain apart.

It took many more sleepless nights for me to realize what I hadn’t seen for so long, even with Y/N reassuring me at every turn. Maeve would want me to be happy, I was sure of it. So I’d try to let myself, no longer letting myself get hindered by my own swirling thoughts of guilt that Maeve wouldn’t have wanted me to feel.

—-

Asking her out on a date had been surprisingly easy once I had let go a little of my guilt. We had chosen to go somewhere different than a coffee shop, since we already did that often. I took her out to more of an upscale restaurant than she was used to, which may be too fancy for some for a first date, but she deserved it. She worked so hard to take care of her daughter and even me to some extent.

At the end of the night we were both standing outside her door ready to go in to relieve the babysitter for the night. I had already given her a chaste kiss for the night, even though my nerves kept trying to talk me out of it. I was about to say goodbye when she grabbed my wrist to hold in her hands. She looked afraid at first, almost like she wondered if I wouldn’t like her touching me. Touch may bother me with most people, but she wasn’t most people, I’d happily share germs with her. When I did not pull away relief was evident in her eyes, then taking a big breath before speaking,

“Would you like to meet my daughter?” Her voice was shaky, understandably full of worry.

“Of course.” In the past hesitation would have littered my voice if she had asked me the same question. But, my thoughts had been slowly shifting to want our lines to converge fully and with no fear. Sure, Maeve would always capture a place in my heart, but I was ready for our lives to collide. Our parallel lives converged into one line, with a set path forward. It may get derailed from its intended path, but we would be stronger together than apart.

Ask me anything

—-

Tag lists (message me if you want to be added):

All works: @shotarosleftpinky @oreogutz @90spumkin @kyra-morningstar @s1utformgg @takeyourleap-of-faith (damn tumblr just let me tag them)

All MGG characters: @muffin-cup @willowrose99

Spencer Reid/CM: @calm-and-doctor @destiny-tsukino @safertokiss @slutforthegubes @onlyhereforthefanfics @jareauswifey

[skygayzer]

OC questions for Ida Kowalski my Yakuza OC!

Questions from this post!

(A heads up there is a lot of unexplained lore but just bare with me)

Also was inspired by @majimemegoro !

1. What was the last time they pulled an all-nighter, if ever?

Ida can be a bit of a heavy sleeper, so she hardly ever pulls an all-nighter unless she is told otherwise.

2. What’s the weirdest place they’ve ever slept?

On one occasion back in Poland, Joanna caught Ida sleeping bent over on a fence. Another time she was found arms crossed sitting on a chair with her back hunched over with her head between her legs.

And she wonders why she has back problems..

3. If they were living now, what type of face mask would they wear — ie, plain black, patterned, with words, etc?

She would either have a regular blue plain one or one with a photo realistic mouth on it.

4. As a young kid, were they particularly attached to any comfort items, like stuffed animals or a blanket?

She used to have a 'good luck' coin, but a boy in her class took it and threw it into a well.

5. What do they think of abstract art?

Can AND WILL stare for hours, she gets sucked in easily. Then afterwards will say "eh, it's cool I guess."

6. When going out in cold weather (say under 0C/32F), what kinda outfit do they wear?

She is not a fan of the cold so probably a flight jacket with a couple layers of shirts under, regular jeans with high socks and combat boots. (She I'd always wearing combat boots tho lol)

7. Are they afraid of heights?

No. While she does start to feel a little dizzy if she looks directly down from a super tall building.

8. Are they a fast/slow/average reader?

She is a slow reader, but only because she has a harder time processing things sometimes.

9. Are there any foods that they really fucking hate?

Radishes.

10. On a scale of 1-10, how bothered are they by the sight of blood?

5 out of 10 I think, depends on how much or what caused it.

11. When’s the last time they laughed so hard they cried, if ever?

This is actually quite often she does this, mostly at others expense. Like when she tried helping Shimano shave his head and it was so patchy at first and he was super pissed.

12. Do they prefer baths or showers?

Showers. She prefers to be quick, especially since she was used to using the showers at her old jobs and had to be in and out before the other workers got there.

13. What’s a reoccurring dream/nightmare that they have, if any?

She dreams A LOT, But usually it's just a jumbled mess. However, she always dreams of Poland, and her old house with the roof having patches of moss. She dreams about her old school and the cows in the fields.

However after her involvement with the Tojo-clan, nightmares become more frequent. Death is a very common theme in them, whether it's her friends, family, or her own death.

14. When they visit museums, do they go slowly, reading everything, or go through quickly?

She loves museums, she likes learning about history and other cultures but her favorite subject of all is art. Can sit for hours studying a piece. Enjoys colorful landscapes like Claude Monet's work.

15. Do they ever cry at movies/books/shows?

YES. She always cries while watching the naked island, despite that she considers it her favorite Japanese film.

16. Have they ever kept a journal?

Yes, but she doesn't write in it anymore. She just keeps it for memories.

17. Are they good at jigsaw puzzles? Do they enjoy them?

She is okay with them, but it takes too long for her to do it by herself. Only likes doing it with her little sister, or her grandma.

18. What’s the most physically uncomfortable situation they’ve ever been in?

When she is held hostage by the Jingweon, they try to get information out of her however she fights her way out. Probably the most painful experience.

19. What do they do when they’ve got a song stuck in their head?

Openly hums it or sings it.. VERY LOUDLY.

20. Favourite type of baked goods? Are they good at baking?

Polish donuts!

21. Are they a good kisser?

When you have as many girlfriends as she had, you certainly gain experience heheh. So yes, very!

22. How much do they follow the news? Has this always been the case, or has it changed over time?

She has always followed the news for both Poland. The reason she often checks the Poland news is due to the fact she eventually plans on moving back when the economy gets better.

23. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Strawberry (HAS TO HAVE STRAWBERRY CHUNKS IN IT AS WELL!!!)

24. Do they ever cry because something is too cute?

Nahh... until a baby holds her finger or a puppy licks her hand then she is on the VERGE of tears.

25. Do they have any superstitions?

Being Jewish, she has a lot of superstitions that have been passed down from her mother and grandmother. Like never leaving a book open or to avoid stepping over someone! She even knocks on wood despite it not really being a Jewish superstition.

26. How consistent/regular is their sleep cycle?

It WOULD be consistent if she didn't sleep so damn much, it's a personality trait at this point.

27. If they were to play D&D, what race/class would they pick?

Probably a human warrior, very much based off herself.

28. Do they sing in the shower?

Yup.

29. Can they play an instrument? Which one?

Nope. The most she ever did was playfully mash the keys on a piano at a club once. She was removed.

30. Can they ride a bike?

NOPE! never learned due to never being able to afford a bike. When she finally bought one for Joanna, who understood how to use it rather quickly, it was Joanna who tried to teach her to ride a bike instead.

31. Favourite meal of the day?

Breakfast, if she doesn't have it she will be cranky the whole day.

32. What do they smell like?

Usually smells like those flower bouquets you buy, it's her perfume.

33. Do they like to doodle?

No, she isn't too skilled in drawing and never really bothered trying.

34. What’s one of their guilty pleasures?

She reads trashy romance novels! Hohoohohoo!

35. Do people usually notice their eye colour?

Nope! They r a regular brown (brown eyes rule ✊)

36. What are their lying “tells”? Are they aware of these tells?

She does this thing where she will run and play with her hands, rubbing her thumb across her knuckles, rubbing her hands together, ect.

37. A friend whips out a camera unexpectedly and goes “say cheese!” — what pose do they strike?

She will either do a big smile or make a funny face.

38. What would be the worst quality that someone could attribute to them, in their own mind? As in, what would they think is the worst thing someone could think about them — that they’re selfish, lazy, violent, cowardly, stupid, etc.?

That she has no value.

39. How do they mark their place in a book?

Uses a random ribbon or thread.

40. Big spoon or little spoon?

Typically a big spoon but really loves to be a little spoon!

41. How much time/thought do they put into their outfit on an average day?

At most 20 minutes, she usually gets ready rather quickly and doesn't really care about how she looks, but Joanna will usually help her pick out an outfit if she can.

42. What’s the most ridiculous thing they’ve ever spent money on?

Colorful ribbons, she doesn't really use them but she just liked having something pretty to swing around hehe.

43. What’s a funny story that a stranger has about them?

(Idk yet but I am thinking of sub stories for her that are wacky and fun!)

44. What do they consider the kindest thing someone has ever done for them?

When a certain hitman agrees to take her body back to her family. (No I will not explain any further, if you know you know. )

45. What’s the cruelest thing they’ve done that they don’t regret?

Beating up and almost killing, a family patriarch for hitting his wife (who Ida is also in love with).

46. What’s their least favourite chore?

Washing dishes, IT'S SO BORING!!

47. The person they care about most/their best friend asks them to hide a dead body. How willing are they to help, no questions asked?

Depends on the person. If it was her sister, or someone she really trusts and cares for she would help them, of course asking questions. But anyone else, she would simply tell them to not involve her.

48. What’s the favourite way to eat potatoes?

Masher potatoes and gravy!!!!

49. If they were a plant, what would they be?

A common poppy.

50. If they had to give an impromptu hour-long lecture on any subject, what would they talk about?

Poland, especially to someone who isn't from Poland. She misses her home despite the situation her family went through there. She misses everything from the smell to the land to the old houses. She can go on for hours about how she used to go to a lake along with other kids and how they ended up having to run home with leeches in them, or how she and Joanna would go collect rocks and she convinced her to throw them at a cop.

51. What would be/is their most-used/favourite emoji?

If she ever lived long enough to use a phone she would use 😎. She thinks sunglasses are cool.

52. What would/do they put as their computer/phone wallpaper/ background?

A photo of her family!

53. Have they always had their current hairstyle? If not, what’s another hairstyle they’ve had in the past?

Well, when she was a kid she used to have longer hair, but then a boy at school would tug her hair all the time. Eventually Ida started cutting her own hair, and eventually learned to style her own hair. (As "styled" as it can get).

54. When they can’t fall asleep, what do they do?

!!! RARE!!! But probably read or do some exercising to make herself tired.

55. What do they consider the best decision they’ve ever made?

Befriending Yayoi Dojima.

56. What do they wear for a day out at the beach?

Probably a tank top with shorts.

57. How do they feel about babies? How would they deal with a friend’s baby being put in their arms?

Loves them! She helped raise her sister so she has some experience. While she isn't really a fan of caring for one she loves squishing their little cheeks and making faces at them. Would gladly hold one if someone needed her to, would probably try to tickle it or something.

58. Most embarrassing situation they’ve ever experienced?

Being rejected by a girl I think, otherwise I can't think of anything else. (Might change in the future)

59. How do they feel about rollercoasters?

Loves them! Would go on one whenever she got the chance.

60. Have they broken any bones and if so, how?

Yes, multiple ways. Broke her leg when she was 7 from jumping down from a tree, her big for after angrily kicking a cement block at 12, broke her left hand after tripping and landing on it wrong, when ISN'T she breaking her bones?

61. Do they consider themself a good liar?

Not sure, if she gets caught, well she gets caught, if she doesn't then she doesn't.

62. Would they rather have very cold weather (under -20C/-4F) or very hot weather (over 30C/86F)?

Actually prefers the heat due to getting sick easily. Plus she enjoys going out and getting ice cream or going to the beach.

63. How good are they/would they be at Monopoly?

Would probably be good at it.

64. Do they like musicals?

YUP YUP YUUUP!!!

65. Have they ever been blackout drunk? Under what circumstances?

Yes, it actually happens a lot more often than it should.

66. What genre is the book that they’ve read the most times in their life?

Romance drama.

67. What’s something they (at this moment) think/hope they’ll never have to admit to someone else?

That she was involved in the Jingweon massacre.

68. How good/bad are they/would they be at assembling IKEA furniture?

Very bad, too impatient and has a hard time understanding the instructions probably.. Would quit in 5 minutes.

69. What’s something that really scared them as a kid?

Leeches. (Also being abandoned)

70. Are they allergic to anything?

Bees.

71. What’s the longest they’ve ever gone without sleeping, and why?

Two days after the Jingweon massacre.

72. Feelings on spicy food?

Can't handle it. At all.

73. How much do they jay-walk in cities?

What? What makes you think she would jay-walk?? (I am lying she does it all day everyday whenever she gets the chance).

74. Do they have any tattoos or piercings? Do they want any/more?

Has no real interest in tattoos, and never bothered to get a piercing.

75. Preferred way to eat eggs?

Hard boiled eggs with garlic salt!!!!

76. Do they consider themself an optimist, pessimist, or realist?

Realist I think, tries her best to be positive but with her situation it's a bit hard.

77. If they’re served a food they don’t like (at like, a restaurant or someone else’s house), will they eat it anyways or leave it to the side?

At a restaurant, she would probably just take it to go and give it to someone who she might think will like it, if at someone's home of course she is gonna eat it. She doesn't want to be impolite. (Unless she can't eat it for reasons like her religion then she would simply explain she cant eat it but would thank them anyway.)

78. Would they describe themself as funny?

Oh for sure.

79. How physically flexible are they?

Not very, can't be flexible with a back pain like hers lol.

80. What’s the most bored they’ve ever been?

Before, it was in school. But now it's whenever she has to be in a room during a meeting. Absolute dread..

81. What’s one book you’ve read that you think they would also like?

I KNOW SHE WOULD LOVE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID OR CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS. She would look at the drawings and giggle to herself while kicking her feet in the air.

82. What’s a scent that never fails to make them nostalgic?

The smell of the woods, earthy smells.

83. What’s the worst thing they’ve done on a dare?

Pulled an officer's pants down and tripped him which caused him to fall off a bridge into a river. She helped him out and apologized but it still landed her in a cell.

84. How did they celebrate their coming-of-age?

Had a bat Mitzvah ceremony!

[hrtiu]

Would you consider writing something super short, like a couple hundred words, about Tech helping Brit'ni integrate that really tough problem you had trouble with a few days ago? 😅 (sorry, I'm trying to make you laugh lol)

Ah! You're the greatest! Ok, I think I can manage to put something together. for you <3

"Argh!!" Brit'ni let out a primeval scream and threw her stylus across the room. It landed against the dull durasteel wall with a pathetic plink, the sound not equal to Brit'ni's rage.

Tech looked up from the servos he was soldering and lifted his safety visor, eyes blinking at her in confusion. "What's wrong?"

"It's this stupid assignment," Brit'ni said, gesturing to the datapad she'd been staring at for the past two hours. She'd come to Tech's apartment to study--he had the perfect, no-frills setup and even just being around him focus pressured Brit'ni into being more productive--but so far she'd made almost no progress.

"Ah, the economics of past cultures class?" Tech said, pressing a finger to the bridge of his nose to lift up the goggles that weren't currently over his eyes.

"Yes," Brit'ni said with a scowl. "I don't understand why I have to learn any of this to study history. When am I going to need to find the expected value of a random variable curating a museum exhibit?"

Tech set his soldering gun down and pursed his lips, like she'd insulted him personally. "Just as your understanding of history and cultures can inform the way I program this computing system," he said, gesturing to the servos on his work bench, "so too can statistics inform the way you evaluate and interpret history."

"Ok, ok, you can get off your high fathier. Just help me, please?"

Tech's eyebrows raised and he nodded. "Certainly."

He got up from the workbench and headed over to Brit'ni. With each step she wondered if she was making a huge mistake. She'd never asked Tech for help on this sort of thing before because she had a sneaking suspicion he'd be absolutely insufferable. And she liked kissing Tech. She didn't want to mess that up.

"What seems to be the problem?" he asked, leaning over her datapad.

She took a moment to answer, letting herself enjoy the warm feeling of him looming over. "It's this integral." She pointed to the tortured s-loop on the screen, even just the sight of it twisting her brain into knots. "I know we're supposed to use a change of variable, but the new derivative just doesn't fit."

She'd looked at it backwards, frontwards, sideways, and upside down. She'd stared at this problem for thirty minutes straight without writing so much as a single calculation. But the harder she stared the more inscrutable it became. She was convinced that only a true genius could solve it, and even then only after considerable effort.

"Substitute in u equals w over pi sin of x," he said.

"What?"

"Substitute in u equals w over pi sin of x. This is a normal distribution, and that will become obvious once you take that substitution."

Brit'ni stared at him blankly. It had taken him less than five seconds to find the solution. Five seconds. Five seconds to solve this thrice-blasted problem. "Seriously?"

"Yes," Tech said, his brows gathering together in confusion. "Are you having trouble hearing me? This question is a bit tricky, but quite solvable. From your outburst earlier I was worried it might take longer to help-"

Brit'ni stood up fast from her seat, her chair scraping noisiliy against the floor beneath her. "I'm going to get some air," she said, as if there was anywhere you could get fresh air on Coruscant.

"Brit'ni, did I do something wrong-?"

"No, you were very helpful."

"It was no problem at all, the question was elementary-"

"I'm getting some air!" Brit'ni reiterated with more force, slamming the door shut behind her as she stalked from Tech's room.

She ended up going for some jwa bing--a tasty fried dough snack sold by a vendor just outside Tech's apartment. She walked around his neighborhood, slowly consuming the greasy disc as she let herself cool off. The area was a little tough, but during the day she felt safe enough.

About a half hour later and Brit'ni was filled with regret--both at the heavy, greasy feeling settling in her stomach and at the childish way she'd reacted earlier. She knew Tech wasn't the most tactful with how he expressed himself--it was one of the things she liked about him. She'd need to be patient with him if she wanted him to be patient with her.

She walked back to the apartment and Tech buzzed her in without question. She entered the keycode to his room and was already composing an apology in her head when the door whooshed open to reveal a flustered Tech, his goggles resting haphazardly atop his head and a stack of flimsi--flimsi--in his hands.

"Brit'ni, I wanted to apologize-"

"You shouldn't have to apologize," Brit'ni said, almost angry with the contrite lilt to his voice. "I was being childish. You helped me, and I'm grateful."

"I appreciate that, but I still need to apologize. I spoke with Echo and he helped me understand that by answering your question so quickly and with no explanation, I may have implied a shortcoming in intelligence on your part. That I trivialized the difficulties you were having with the assignment by suggesting that it should have been easy."

He was right, of course. That was exactly how he'd made her feel. Most of the time Tech's staggering intellect didn't intimidate Brit'ni. She knew she was smart too--maybe in different areas, but smart all the same. And she knew that Tech's brilliant mind sometimes kept him from seeing the bigger picture. But every once in a while it hit her just how much better he was than her at certain things--a lot of things, if she was being honest. And sometimes it hurt.

Tech took a step towards her and held out the short stack of flimsi like a peace offering. Brit'ni took it and looked down to find neat lines of scribbled calculations filling the flimsi, Tech's consistently-chaotic handwriting unmistakable.

"I wrote out a detailed explanation of the integration--each step as well as the underlying theorem supporting them," he said, taking a step back as soon as she had the flimsi securely in her hands. "I also tried to build in an explanation of the kind of intuition that makes problems like these easier. When I said this problem was simple, it is because I have seen others like it before. The next time you see a problem like this you will see what to do next just s easily. It is only a matter of experience."

Her eyes scanned the first page of notes, and already the impossibly tangled problem she'd been slaving over for several hours seemed to slip loose. His notes were thorough, straightforward, and easy to understand. She could do this.

For some reason, hot tears filled her eyes. She clutched the papers to her chest, the stress of her coming exams and the frustration of the assignment hitting her all at once.

"Brit'ni?" Tech asked, his voice quiet. "Is this acceptable? I can offer an alternate apology-"

"It's perfect, Tech," she said, raising a hand to wipe the moisture from her eyes. "Thank you."

Relief flooded his expression and he stepped up to her, wrapping his arms around her in that oddly precise way of his. "I think you are very intelligent, and especially knowledgeable in your field," he said into her hair. "And I want to be able to help you when you need it."

"I want that, too," she said, her voice muffled by his chest. "Just... try not to be a condescending ass about it."

He chuckled, the sound resonating across each unit of surface area they shared. Then he coughed. "I'll, eh, do my best. I'm sure you will always let me know if that is the case?"

"Deal."

"Deal."

[shima-draws]

Hiro is here!! We've all been waiting for him!!

You know the drill by now, all the yummy details about his background are under the cut ;) Also be warned it is VERY long I went a little feral writing his backstory lmao

Hiro

Age: 17

Hair color: Orange

Eye color: Pink

Element: Psychic & Forest

Okay so a lot of this is gonna be stuff I'm pulling from posts I've already written to make it easier on myself and so I don't have to repeat anything.

Before he was born, the Novune Forces approached Hiro's parents because they knew that he would be born as a dual elemental. Part of their goal was to raise several dual type children to become human weapons--they targeted dual type babies specifically because they're said to be more powerful since they can use more than one elemental type.

It was the perfect opportunity for Hiro's parents because at the time they were not ready for a child despite agreeing that they were going to have it. Ofc the Forces did not reveal their plans so to them it turned into a nice surrogate parent situation where Hiro's mother would give birth to him and he'd immediately be given up for adoption afterwards. It was definitely hard for them to part with him but they trusted he'd be in good care. Well. That turned out great, as you can probably tell :')

Hiro, along with Kaz and Mallary, became the Forces' iconic trio, with Hiro considered to be the golden child and the most dangerous between the three of them because of his high intellect and skill in combat. He grew up under a very strict regimen and would spend hours each day dedicated to training both his mind and his elemental powers. He's an extremely gifted psychic elemental and took to his abilities almost immediately--he’s able to read his opponents movements and set up traps before they can even get to him. He’s usually airborne for most battles he’s in; he finds it easier to strategize from a higher vantage point, and he also just likes to float around and dodge enemy attacks and act like an ass lmao. He’s a pro at immobilizing his enemies so they can no longer move, ending his battles swiftly and cleanly. Physically he’s not very powerful so he uses a magic staff to fight. His intelligence more than makes up for his lack of super strength!

He has a special power like Kaz’s extra dragon typing (and, like Kaz, he has a streak in his hair from the experimentation)—Hiro gets visions of death, basically predictions of the future, and his visions are never wrong. He’s able to see who dies in battle and the Forces use this to their advantage so that they can prepare around any casualties. Hiro hates getting these visions because he doesn’t like seeing people die, he witnesses their last moments and it’s certainly traumatizing for him;; and like Kaz, this power was something he only unlocked through lots of experimentation on him, so he usually passes out for hours after getting a vision since it’s not a “natural” ability he was born with.

As for his second typing, it was something he never really clicked with. Forest elementals have to be very attuned to nature and are generally more kindhearted and gentle people, but since Hiro grew up in a base with only limited access to the outside (and because he’s forced into acting as an antagonist), his forest elemental powers were repressed over the years. He’s already powerful enough as a psychic elemental so he doesn’t feel the need to resort to a second power, especially since his superiors viewed his second typing as useless and he never received proper training on how to use it. He's already a huge threat as he is so they said good enough. The Forces believe that if something is useless, throw it away, so they eventually abandoned any hope of him succeeding in bettering his forest powers, and focused solely on enhancing his psychic abilities and making his death visions clearer.

Before Hiro became the cold-hearted and snarky colonel that the Forces know him as, he was actually a very kind child with an aversion to violence, and cried often. That got forced out of him pretty quickly though--he learned right away that disobedience means punishment and the only way to pay for his mistakes is by verbal and physical abuse. Poor baby :'( He and Kaz and Mallary go through a LOT of unfair shit as kids. The event that really drove home his intense determination and flawless record was the first mission he was ever sent out on.

This happened when he was around 13. Usually members of the Forces don't get to go out on solo missions unless they have a high position or are old enough to, but he was the exception because of his talent and because it was an experiment to see if he could handle it. His mission was to infiltrate a small, family run guild and basically gather intel and find out what their agenda was, as there were rumors they knew of some of the Forces’ plans. Upon Hiro’s arrival to the town where the guild was situated, he ends up rescuing the Guildmaster’s daughter, Lorelai, who is around his age. Unknowingly, he triggered his forest elemental powers, which caused them to land in a field of flowers he’d bloomed. Because of this, Lorelai starts to call him Flower, since he couldn’t come up with a codename in time and he doesn’t have a real name anyway lol

A couple weeks pass and Hiro spends more and more time with the guild, growing closer to Lorelai and being lulled into a false sense of security. He becomes extremely jealous of how the guild lives, and is very emotional at how much of a family they are, and how sweetly they treat him. Hiro starts to ponder over whether or not he should be sneaking around behind their back, when one day the guild is attacked while he’s out. When he returns, the village is set ablaze, and when Hiro demands what’s going on, his superior informs him that he was merely a decoy to get their defenses down, since apparently the Forces had definitive proof that they knew of their plans. His superior orders Hiro to search the village and kill anybody who was left.

Hiro, panicked, searches for Lorelai, and finds her hiding in the forest nearby. He apologizes to her and has a mental breakdown, blaming himself for all of her misfortune. Lorelai realizes that he’s being kept in the Forces against his will and begs him to run away with her. Hiro knows that he’ll be hunted down if he does, and Lorelai could get hurt, so he tells her he has to stay with them. In the midst of this, they are confronted with the current colonel of the Forces, who encourages Hiro to kill Lorelai. Hiro refuses, and the colonel calls him out for insubordination. The colonel then decides to kill both of them in order to get a promotion. Hiro leaps to defend both Lorelai and himself, and in the scuffle, receives the scar on his head, and accidentally kills the colonel. Traumatized, bloodied, and terrified, Lorelai is the one to apologize to him as he cries his eyes out. Hiro numbly reassures her and tells her to run while she can. Lorelai admits that she loves him and bids him farewell, hoping that they can meet again, and that she’s sorry she can’t do more for him.

This is when Hiro decides to become the perfect agent—dangerous, cruel, and flawless, so that something like this never happens again, and so that he can have enough power to make the decisions rather than just following orders to mindlessly kill people. From then on out he does what he’s told without any complaints and has a record for never failing a single mission the Forces have given to him. Any enemy considers him to be absolutely ruthless because he does not hesitate in battles and will neutralize with no questions asked. He’s a cocky little bastard around enemies lmao he loves to snark them and tease them. He’s strictly against killing after what happened to the colonel, so instead, if it’s a high risk operation, he erases the memories of his targets to reduce the threat. Because he’s so uncomfortable with the thought of death in general he reasons that losing your memories is better than dying, and that makes it easier on the Forces as well since they’ll leave less of a trail rather than just killing people left and right. 

Growing up, Hiro didn’t interact with Kaz very much, and they usually just saw each other in passing. However they both respect each other a great amount, and they sympathize with each other, being in the same sort of situation. Both the Hiro and Kaz hate their upbringing and hold a grudge against their superiors for their treatment and experimentation on them;; As for Mallary, Hiro became enamored with her because she reminds him a lot of Lorelai (who he later admits to being his first love). He finds her strength captivating and the way she doesn’t give a shit about other people’s opinions admirable. Hiro eventually falls prey to her manipulation and falls over himself to please her, which bothers Kaz because he knows Mallary’s just toying with him.

After the Forces’ plan to kidnap Ginni and use her as a hostage blows up in their face, Hiro finds out that Kaz had escaped with her, and commends him on the extremely smart decision to do so lol. He wonders if he should start considering leaving the Forces as well, seeing as he’s mature and responsible (and smart) enough to make it on his own. He’s ordered to retrieve Kaz which was a HUGE mistake on the Forces’ part because they didn’t realize Hiro’s loyalties lied more with people on the outside. Hiro meets up with Kaz and Kaz eventually convinces him to desert the Forces and work with him to stop their plans. Hiro agrees to work as a double agent for a while, leaking all of the Forces’ information to Kaz, Ginni, and the guild. In the midst of all this, Hiro meets Olivia, who pretty much calls dibs on him and she’s like “Listen Ginni got to give Kaz his name so can I give the colonel a name?? Please???” So she starts calling him Hiro! And finally baby boy smarts up and starts crushing on a girl that actually gives a damn about him and god dammit it’s the cutest fucking case of puppy love since Dusk/Nozomi. Hiro absolutely adores her, but he’s too nervous to actually do anything about it because he’s got huge abandonment issues (thanks again bad parenting! And Mallary!) and doesn’t want to ruin one of the only genuine friendships he’s ever had. But he is head over HEELS for Olivia and it’s so……softe.

Mallary finds out that Hiro’s acting as a spy, and retaliates. Hiro realizes just how awfully she’s treated him and defeats her, allowing him to escape and officially join up with the guild.

After that it’s a whole bunch of crazy action stuff as plans come together and they get to take down the Forces. Hiro falls harder and deeper for Olivia while she remains oblivious (at least, for a little while, until she finally starts noticing). He grows closer to Kaz and Ginni as well, and begins connecting with Kaz on a deep level because of their shared history. (They’re kind of like brothers, and Hiro considers him to be his best friend :’) )

Once the Forces are defeated, Hiro and Kaz both decide to go on a journey of self discovery in order to better themselves and learn more about the world they haven’t seen due to being locked up for so many years. Kaz and Ginni are already on the verge of forming a relationship, but with Olivia and Hiro it’s still tentative since she’s unsure and he still feels inadequate as a romantic partner. Olivia admits that she likes him and Hiro is so happy he’s ready to burst, but then he realizes it’s not the right time for them to be together so he gently rejects her. (Olivia takes this as an actual rejection tho not a “I’m not ready to be in a relationship with you yet tho I WANT to” and Ginni’s like YA’LL ARE SO DUMB I S2G).

Hiro and Kaz go their separate ways, and Hiro travels around for a while! He eventually settles in a lovely little village where he learns about his forest elemental powers and how to use them better. He’s finally able to connect with other people and essentially becomes way softer around the edges, revealing the true personality he had when he was a kid. A year or so passes and suddenly Kaz, Ginni and Olivia show up to reunite with him, and not long after that Hiro and Olivia FINALLY get together and start dating 😔👌 (Ginni: TOOK you look enough, god)

At some point the four of them go on a journey together and Hiro runs into his biological parents again…!! And he finds out he has a younger sister and they all reconnect and it’s SO EMOTIONAL

Other than that I think that’s all I have 🤔 Thanks for reading though this epic rollercoaster ride of a story plot lol!

Extra personality traits

-Hiro’s sarcasm and snarkiness is a defense mechanism to prevent anybody from seeing his vulnerable side, and also a way to trick the fear inside of him. Kaz is the one to point this out actually lol

-Despite that he does enjoy teasing people lightheartedly and being sassy, once he gets comfortable enough with them! There is a difference between his snarkiness towards enemies compared to that towards friends

-Is EXTREMELY loyal to the people he cares about. At first he tends to act prickly and kind of standoffish towards people he doesn’t know well. Over time he becomes more open to trusting others. Once you earn his trust and he deems you worthy of his friendship he instantly becomes softer and kinder haha, it’s like a switch

-Often dismisses people that he thinks aren’t worth his time or aren’t smart enough to hold an intelligent conversation with him

-Spends a lot of time reading and gathering knowledge. He is very book smart—but not very people smart :’D He and Kaz will spend hours in the guild’s library, since they’re both very thirsty for information outside of what they studied during their time in the Forces

-Touch starved as FUCK. He flips his shit every time somebody touches him in a friendly way, and will melt into a puddle if he gets hugged

-He can be very nosy and insensitive sometimes, prying into other people’s personal affairs if he thinks he can solve the issue

-Absolutely a tactics expert. He calculates all of his moves very carefully, and uses prediction tactics to leave no room for error. He enjoys coming up with mock battle situations to challenge himself.

-Very self-sacrificial;; he views the lives of those he cares about to be far more important than his own. He’ll lay his life on the line for his friends in an instant

-Is the person in the group who is the least fond of violence. If he can find a way around injuring someone, he’ll do it. He prefers to restrict his enemy’s movements or slow them down so they can’t fight back. He is VERY good at neutralizing opponents before they can even register it

-SUPER speedy. Due to his small size he’s very quick, most people don’t see him coming

-He’s really sensitive about his height fjmaksldmas he snaps at people who make fun of him for it

-Tends to levitate when he’s in deep thought. Olivia finds this very cute

-Blooms flowers when he’s happy/embarrassed

-He’s actually. A very talented dancer :0 During his year away from the guild he learned a lot of folk dances at the village he was living in, and when the others witness it they get really starstruck because it’s super mesmerizing!! He blooms flowers as he dances

-At his core he’s a very compassionate character!!

-After escaping from the Forces, he’s able to express his emotions more openly, and goes back to the way he was as a child. He’s a crybaby :’) He cries whenever someone he cares about gets hurt

-The only person in the group with the fucking brain cell, and the most rational one. Unless Olivia gets involved, then he gets stupid and flustered lmao

[ships-bynoa]

The Titans are almost back, bitches. aka 3x06

Guys, literally every time the titans are together-or even paired up-the episode gets ten times better, but in 6 episodes there is simply not enough Kory and Gar. I can easily forget that when I’m basking in the episode they are in, especially when they’re giving us family dynamics.

Kory:

“You’re not mad that I left. You’re mad I came back.” Kory’s face tells us Blackfire is right on the money, and who would know her better than her sister?

So, Kory, oh boy. Our girl is on edge. She is slowly unraveling and is super vulnerable and raw with Kom around and little sister is going to exploit it and her guilt, which I think she’s carrying a lot of. So far their dynamic has been fascinating because there’s so much to read between them and so many accusations being flung back and forth, from both. From Kory; you sense guilt and even contempt and from Kom there’s envy and resentment, but also there’s a sense of idealization for her older sister, too, which of course, with younger siblings, there always is an element of that. And as an older sibling, there is always an unspoken and sometimes spoken responsibility placed on them for their younger siblings. Parents often don’t realize it, but they can create a lot of tension within siblingships by assigning roles.

They remember home and family very differently, which is often the case, too. Kom was often thrown in the pit and to that, Kory attributes her sister’s constant rebellion as the reason, and yet, Kory herself was a bit of a rule breaker, sleeping with her guard, Fiddei.

Kory was being suffocated by the laws and customs of her home planet; one could say she rebelled by going on a mission, to escape her duties. Home did neither of them any favors because while one rebelled because she did not fit in, the one who did fit in was dying inside, surrounded by little robots and becoming one herself. Being told what to eat, wear and who to love or be friends with is yikes.

I was thinking Kom began her game of manipulation in the bunker, but she really started before that when she sent Fiddei to bring Kory home when she probably intended to kill him all along. After all she would’ve castrated him if she’d had the chance to for sleeping with Kory in the first place. Shortly after Fiddei’s death, Kory flamed out. No powers. Emotionally wrung out from the news her family was dead and now the culprit is here. These two know each other very well and know exactly how to get underneath each other’s skin. Right now Kom is getting underneath Kory’s and our girl is losing patience fast. 

I’m wondering when exactly Dick will tune into Kory’s anxiety-ridden state and step in to support.

Ultimately, I just want to see what truly happened to the girls on their planet and how we have the versions we have now. Like, Kory said to Rachel, “No one is born good or bad, we are defined by our choices.” I get the feeling Kory has given Kom so many chances to make a different choice and has become disillusioned, meanwhile Kom believes nothing she does will give her the respect she feels she deserves anyway, so she may as well blow shit up, figuratively and literally. At least then she’ll have Kory’s attention.

Gar: 

Gar losing it on Dick was so cathartic and yet he could’ve gone much further, considering Dick abandoned him last season to go jail and hallucinate Bruce. It ultimately led to Gar (and Conner) being kidnapped and experimented on by Mercy. It’s actually all the adults fault this happened, but as the leader promoting his family everywhere he goes, he needs to keep his eye on the ball. He would know if he spent five minutes at home with them that Gar is struggling. Last season Gar was #OperationSaveTitans and this season he’s #ThisFamilyIsDying. He’s doing what the adults should be doing, or at least leading the charge on it. He’s the glue, but who will hold him together?

He’s carrying too much emotional responsibility and Dick’s dismissal, because he is fully locked into Gotham and being Batman, makes me mad. Get your head in the game, Grayson. Gotham is going to eat your family while you retread the nostalgic steps of your past.

We all know Dick’s not good at expressing himself emotionally, though he’s usually forced to express something when talking to or being confronted by Kory, so I was proud of him for giving Gar the floor to speak. I just wish Gar spoke about himself, but then again, he needs more time and consistent offers to be heard. I’m happy Dick followed up the conversation up with a bonding/training session. There was definitely pride in Dick’s face because Gar really has come a long way in this group, but he needs MORE SCREEN TIME. I’d like to see the two of them out in the field together the way we’ve seen Kory this season with Gar and Conner. 

I wonder if Gar losing control is the start of all his trauma bubbling up to the surface, will being in Gotham, hunting down a friend be too much?

As a side, has the CGI tiger face gotten worse?

Kom (and Conner):

First thing’s first, what music are we thinking Kom listens to? Probably the kind of music she can break your tailbone to, like, Kendrick Lamar, J. Cole and Jay Z, or Prince, Jimmy Hendrix, Stevie Nicks and Led Zeppelin? Rihanna?

Kom is absolutely a villain this season and if she isn’t, what a waste that’ll be. A mastermind at mind games (see, her picking up the chess piece), who is going to drum up Kory’s paranoia and anxiety around her being there. Trying to kill her suspicion by guilt tripping her while simultaneously being a do good-er to the group, feigning interest in helping the Titans to earn her way in, a tip from our boy, Conner.

She says she wants acceptance and I believe that’s absolutely true, but she doesn’t know how to get that without using power, so she’ll continue to covet acceptance through and with power because according to Kory, she’s always been a climber. Add to that, being born the cursed child and the only royal member born without the gift of fire, something that differentiates them from the common folk, being too frail to participate in the same games as Kory, having a speech therapist be her only friend while being the object of ridicule and you have a villain origin story nicely set up.

I really enjoyed Conner and Kom’s exchange. The boy lit up when he spoke about seeing his family happy and it made me light up. He’s so genuine and has a big heart and Kom is going to take advantage of it, that’s not to say she won’t develop real feelings for him, but she can like him and still use him.

Conner’s “you have to earn your way into the family,” is perhaps an internal and personal struggle he has from sharing blood with Luthor. I think it may come from an insecure place because he was made a titan as soon as he woke up and no one questioned it, but as he’s only half of superman, he’s constantly trying to prove his usefulness for good, which losing Hank has rocked, leaving him vulnerable to Kom’s recognition for his otherness. Their otherness.

She gave us insight into her mind, but also she has likely seized an opportunity to use the vulnerability against Conner and to her favor by making him her kindred. Outcasts. Will she gain influence over him? He’s still young and learning, and trusting, too.

Her interest in him felt layered, ignoring the ugly customs of sex servants, she was also observing Kory’s relationships and ranking them in her sister’s life. Her being able to determine who may have Kory’s interest (which Kory gave away with her vulnerable display of worry over Dick’s welfare in front of Kom) will surely come into play at some point, right? After all, Kom did kill Kory’s last lover/royal guard. This may be me projecting. LOL.

Romantically, I’m waiting to see how they play it before I decide if I like it or not, but so far, they have a nice chemistry. Friendly.

Dick (and Barbara) :

What a lovable dumb ass. 

I was so happy Kory lost it on him and called him on his lone ranger shit, at least when it’s her, even when he’s being an idiot, he’s still listening. “Let’s go.” and I thought it was hilarious that he tried explaining himself, but when Gar called him out, he got all huffy with, “Excuse me, young man.”

Gar asking Kory not to have words with Barbara over Dick getting shot was so funny because Dick’s face seemed to ask the same when she asked how it happened. We love a protective Kory. I’ll be looking at him when it’s his turn to reciprocate.

I don’t like him dismissing their concerns about his personal safety and how it affects them, it’s like he’s learned nothing after running off alone to battle Trigon, or rather has unlearned his lessons of S2. I’d like to see some more permanent emotional growth from him by this season’s end. In his current state, he’s not an exuding leader. He can’t be when he’s still wrapped up in Bruce and all things Gotham. He’s not tuned into Kory’s anxiety, or Conner’s grief and insecurity, or Gar’s emotional burden. 

He’s started making it up to him, but he has much to do in taking Gar’s concerns and emotional needs seriously.

I’m not even going to try and work out the timeline between Barbara and Dick and Dick and old Titans in San Fran and S1. But it doesn’t bode well that Dick’s dream with Barbara ended in a nightmare. 

I wish they’d never did the whole Dick and Dawn relationship in S2 because they’re basically repeating some of the beats in showing us how they don’t work as a couple, only his relationship with Babs makes a lot more sense even though I don't care. Dick has unfinished business with that relationship, Bruce and Gotham and I can only hope he’s wrapped it up for good by this season’s end. I want to see relaxed, smiling and happy Dick in THE PRESENT. I still Babs will be the one to notice and point out Dick's feelings for Kory.

Barbara (outside of Dick) is being downplayed a little, no? Dismissing Dick’s suspicions about Jason when he arrived, showing no knowledge of Jason’s visits to Crane and then taking the bait and moving Crane after he got a light beat down. A commissioner who was also a very capable vigilante is tricked by a recording and goes to meet “Bruce” on her own. I really enjoyed that she could hold her own and the fight scene was really good, but it was a bit baffling that she fell for that ruse. So far, she’s not entirely good at her job.

Dick’s a distraction in his own right and her feelings clearly get in the way, which is why she keeps asking him to leave the precinct and Gotham; because she’s pining a fantasy and he’s ruining it. Lastly, I really like the way Savannah plays Barbara.

Why’d they do that to Tim?? :(

Overall, it was a better episode and I enjoyed it more than latter episodes, but they’re not quite there yet for me. I’m  still waiting for Team Titans.

[never-not-ever]

update

So to have some sort of structure I’m creating some main points ahead of time. I feel like everytime I start to type up a post I get lost on one point and then it’s just an essay of that one thing...

therapy

work

dentist

weight loss/body image

productivity on days off

Okay so first up therapy. Which ironically covered everything above except the dentist lol. So maybe this’ll just be a recap of therapy?? Anyways I love my therapist! She’s so informed and I love that she’s done some work/still does a group in the eating disorder community. I mean she’s been around long enough that I think she’s dabbled in a lot of different types of mental health treatment and LOC but it’s just been so helpful to have her ED treatment experience while I’m starting out in that same field. 

Today I mentioned how “tricky” (the word I used a lot, usually it’s the word “weird” lol), how tricky it is thinking about my own person weight loss journey in the past and wanting to pick it back up because I still haven’t hit my healthy goal weight. I know in the past at times things would become very obsessive with the scale, numbers and calories. How easy it is to get sucked back in. Even catching myself thinking “how much weight can I lose before the 4th of July BBQ”.. As of now my first step is to just start walking again. As much as I want to go back to the gym and start eating better I know it’s probably easier and healthier for me to just do one thing first instead of jumping back in cold turkey with everything. I think the only thing I can do right now is to make sure I’m constantly being honest with my therapist to make sure I don’t get too carried away/lose control and make sure we catch any red flags or warning signs. 

On a less serious note, I’m struggling hardcore with being productive on my days off instead of just lounging around and watching tv and catching up on sleep. It’s something my girlfriend and I both slack on and our apartment can get pretty messy at times. I think we have a lot of junk that needs to get thrown out. She considers it all valuable or of value some day. Regardless we both know we need to do a huge deep clean and organization of everything before we get the new kitten next month. And according to history we’ll end up putting it off until the last minute. I feel like we both work better last minute under pressure even though I don’t like that but at least it gets done...

Lastly the dentist. I hate the dentist mostly because of my embarrassment and fear of being judged. I’ve always had really bad teeth and because of my fear of the dentist I wouldn’t go until things got really bad. My ice addiction these past 6 months have clearly not been helpful with my teeth. I keep telling myself that today will be the last day I eat ice and then it never happens. Especially at work with the hospital ice that’s easier to crunch on.. Ugh.... Obviously I’m not eating ice in front of patients because it can be a behavior but I do on my break and on my way home from work... I used to actually not do it on my break cause I was worried other staff would think it was an ED thing and but now I could care less and I always have food on the table as well so it’s like obviously I’m eating as well, I’m just having some after dinner ice too.... A whole paragraph about eating ice... crazy!!

[randomdcfangirl]

Jason x Superman's daughter!reader

Request: Hi can i request a jason todd x reader where reader is a daughter of a hero and defends jason infront of the jl by @illzarr

(A/N): You didn't specify if you wanted them to be a couple or not but I made them one, hope that's okay :) Also I made it Superman's daughter.

Tags: @redhoodieone @avengerdragoness @comic-nerd-dc

Keys: (Y/N): Your Name (Y/S/N): Your Superhero Name

Word Count: 1,381

Warning(s): Cursing, arguing, mention of child abuse, talking about Jason's death, league may be a bit rude and ignorant when it comes to Red Hood, also a bit insensitive

**********************************************

Being on The Watchtower wasn't something Jason liked doing, especially since he wasn't Robin anymore. As Robin it was fun and he liked it but after everything it wasn't a fun experience. Red Hood isn't seen as a hero in the hero community like he is down in Crime Alley. Moral codes got in the way of that.

How the hell Jason got (Y/N) Kent or (Y/S/N) he has no idea, no fucking clue. Why did Clark allow it you may ask? He did not, he doesn't know, good thing Jason carries Kryptonite around, he's not dying a second time to Superman.

Jason doesn't even really know why he was called to this mission, it wasn't hard and they wouldn't need backup so he was a bit on guard because of that. He was walking with his Nightwing, his brother of all people, to this meeting that Jason is pretty sure isn't a meeting. Jason's pretty sure he's getting set up but he was going with it for now, well somewhat.

"Wing, you need to tell me right now, am I getting set up?" Jason asked him.

"I'm not going to take you to get arrested, Hood. If I wanted that it would've happened a long time ago." Dick let out a laugh.

"Wow thanks, glad to know you don't want me in prison." Jason joked. "But actually, this isn't a mission is it?"

"To be honest, I wasn't told anything either. So I honestly don't know." Dick replied.

"Okay, now I know it's not a mission. They were prepared for me to ask questions so they didn't tell you anything." Jason sighed. "Guess I'm arguing with somebody today."

Dick shrugged and they continued on their way to the conference room. That conversation didn't give Jason any information at all. They arrived in the conference room a few minutes later and everyone was there, already waiting for them. There was a seat for Jason at the table between Diana and (Y/N), Jason cautiously walked up and sat in the chair while Dick walked around to sit next to Bruce and Clark.

"Now that we're all here we can get started. So, it's not really a mission." Superman said. Jason's suspicions were confirmed.

"I had a feeling, so why am I here?" Jason sighed.

"Think of this as sort of an intervention, Batman has no say in anything we've done and he cannot stop it." Diana said.

"Intervention for what?" Jason asked confused.

"Your actions as the Red Hood." Clark replied.

"If this is about killing I haven't killed anyone in the past year, bats already beat you to that "intervention" a while ago." Jason said with finger quotations.

"Not just the killing, there's a lot of younger heros that look up to you and you're too aggressive out in the field." Diana explained vaguely.

"But yes mostly the killing." Flash said.

"I didn't sign up to be a role model, that's not my fault. All I do is mind my business and do my job, I don't think that's a need for an intervention." Jason replied.

"Okay, let's talk to Jason instead of Red Hood, drop the persona." Superman said. "Clark to Jason."

"Sorry but Jason isn't any different, I think the person you're looking for died in a warehouse 8 years ago." Jason replied, Clark flinched a bit at that remark. "Just spit it the fuck out, why exactly am I here?"

"They don't like the way you act and work down in Gotham like they have any authority down there in the first place." (Y/N) said from her place next to Jason.

"(Y/N)." Clark warned.

"No, all you guys ever do when he's here is criticize like you have authority over him. Well guess fucking what, you don't. He's a grown man who can make his own decisions and you're not his family. Maybe you were considered so at one point but in my opinion you lost that privilege a long time ago!" She exclaimed to all of them.

"(Y/N) you don't hav-." Jason started but she cut him off standing out of her chair.

"No! I do! I'm sick of all of you trying to change who the Red Hood is! Just because he has a different moral code? Also did you know that he's never once killed an innocent person? Did you know Red Hood has only ever killed murderers, rapists, child molesters, because I don't know about you but those people don't deserve to be breathing in my opinion anyway." She said darkly then turned to Jason and talked softly. "They brought you up here because Joker is dead but they wanted to know if you did it or not. They wanted to see if they could make you say it without straight out asking you."

"He's dead? When? Who?" Jason asked quietly in shock.

"We were hoping you knew." Green Lantern said with a bit of sarcasm in his voice.

"If I was never stopped he would've been dead a long time ago. But no I didn't kill him, I wish I did but nope." Jason was keeping himself composed from the shock.

"Okay, he didn't kill him, like I told you many times. But you wanted to know how I knew so you know what I'll tell you. I was with him for the past 2 weeks every single night and day. He's my boyfriend and he's the most kind hearted, hard working, strongest and intelligent man I've ever met. I've never been treated with such respect and love so I'm not going to sit here and let you tear him a part in lectures anymore. He does too much good down in Crime Alley to deserve it." She said strongly to everyone in the room. Bruce sent her a nod because he's glad Jason has her.

"Oh really, what good has he done?" Green Arrow said.

"When was the last time you guys gave out food to street kids or an orphanage? How many of you guys help kids with homework or the kids who have to cover bruises on their arms or legs while at school? When was the last time you gave a sexual assault victim peace of mind knowing their attacker can't hurt them anymore? When was the last time you worked your asses off every single night to bring kidnapped children home from a trafficking ring? Probably never for most of you but Jason does it every single day while dealing with his own demons up in his mind because guess what he's gone through literal hell and back and that shit ain't easy!" She exclaimed more. "C'mon babe, you have no reason to be up here. Let's go home."

She grabbed his hand after they both stood up and they walked out of the room. They left everyone in the room including her father who didn't know what to think.

"That's three bats now somehow involved with my family." Clark sighed.

"It's not fun from my side either, Clark." Bruce replied standing up. "Also don't ever call a meeting to do with any of my children again. Especially not Jason, he deals with enough already and you have no authority over Gotham so your input on my city is not accepted. Leave my family and my city out of League business, this meeting is over."

Batman is scary but Batdad is scarier.

When Jason and (Y/N) got to his apartment they changed out of their gear and into sweats and comfy clothes.

"You didn't have to do that you know." Jason said wrapping his arms around her from behind while in their bedroom looking out the window.

"I did, I know you won't defend yourself with actual facts and would likely turn to anger to protect yourself so as your girlfriend I decided I'd take it upon myself to protect you the way you try to protect me, even though I'm Kryptonian." She replied. Jason huffed a laugh because he does do that even though she doesn't need it.

"I love you." Jason told her kissing the side of her head.

"I love you too." She replied and turned to give him a real kiss.

They'd deal with Superman later.

****************************************

Hi, I haven't wrote is fic in a long time but here this is. I'm still doing the Jason x Bermudian!reader I'm sorry that's taking so long. But I love you guys and hopefully I'll be more active on here :) <3 (Also I couldn't think of a title lol)

[emersonfreepress]

What would the ro's be like in a zombie au?

whyyyyy anon whyyy. I'm actually gonna write this in like.. slightly different terms, you'll see. any time I even briefly think of a zombie au I'm just like

I WANNA WRITE IT SO BADDD

i don't even allow myself to entertain it for very long because getting into that would be the worst thing ever for my productivity with the alpha omg 😂😂 so I'll put like the ideas that pop into my head for writing a zombie au, to work some of that creative frustration out 😆

so in this very general, absolutely noncommittal idea of mine, the main cast are older and the setting is in and around a civilian settlement led by the Emersons.

and as a refresher, i like my zombie aus to have fast zombies and fast infections ^ ^ 28 Days Later/Train to Busan style babyyyy, we the Sprinting Dead up in this bitch 😆

= = =

Gabe is, predictably, looking for what's left of his family. Following rumors of safe havens and bunkers and such. Starts the story as someone who tries to be diplomatic, if not outright pacifist, but as times get tougher and resources dwindle, he'd become one of the most cutthroat motherfuckers in the wasteland. Low-key though, low-key. People won't trust you if they know you’re capable of throwing them to a horde for strategic reasons. Like if Rick turned into Shane (for those of us familiar with early Walking Dead--idk did that happen eventually? i gave up before we even met Negan lol). The end justifies the means :) Damn, I can legit see Gabe going full evil in a zombie au omg 😂😂 i want to write it so fucking bad

Preferred weapon for zed encounters: rifle

Preferred weapon for human encounters: handgun

Faith in humanity: fucking zero

Zombie kill count: plenty; the type to kill every zombie he has spare ammo and time for

Human kill policy: When it benefits him or the people he’s looking after

Survival rating: B+; he can make it out of some pretty dire situations through sheer will to live and ruthlessness

- - -

Kile has arrived--clearly, this is the timeline they belong in. They start their journey with Gabe (and their doggo) and stick to him like glue, even reluctantly so when Gabe eventually has them join the settlement. This can only go one way, though: Kile's just too much of a wildcard for the group and hates being told what to do. (Especially now that society has fallen, wtf) They'd make their exit alone and unannounced aside from a brief head’s up to Gabe. It's slightly bittersweet, but also? They get to loot and hunt and sneak around and kill fucking zombies, all by themself. Kile is a loner, a hiker, and a hunter to begin with so they do beyond fine on their own. However, once the inevitable violent human threat comes for the settlement, Gabe is sent out to convince Kile to come out of isolation, just this once please, to be the camp’s super soldier help defend the camp.

Zed weapon: p much anything they can get their hands on, ranged or melee, blunt or sharp, w/e; improvised weapons

Human weapon: hunting knife

Faith in humanity: never had any to begin with

Zombie kill count: lol infinite?? any zed they come across is double-dead if they have the time for it

Human kill policy: at Gabe’s direction or when provoked enough/threatened

Survival rating: A-; they trust no one, live in isolation, and prioritize survival above all else. only reason it’s not higher is they would risk their life for Gabe or their furbaby and also... their own Rambo-esque antics def attracts the occasional horde lmao

- - -

Jack... this poor boy, he doesn't deserve a zombie au 😂 He's one of those people that first believes zombies are just sick people, too squeamish to keep up with TV news coverage at the onset and too upset to consider anything else. He'd hunker down at home, staying holed up even while his neighbors evacuated, and probably be discovered while the main group is looting the same place as him. When people try to tell him the real state of the world, he'd be in denial until he absolutely couldn't be anymore. idk, probably after Kile shooting a bunch of non-lethal holes thru a zombie to make a point (attracting more in the process lol).

He’d almost immediately join the medical team at the settlement and as word spreads about how easy he is to talk to, he quickly becomes the literal on-site therapist. It's a role he embraces but... idk if it's an emotional burden he can bear. He's very emotionally resilient! But he ain't a professional lol imagine a whole settlement of traumatized zombie survivors seeking you out for counseling, yikes. He also can't say no to a person in need, so instead he quietly spirals into a very private depression while continuing to help others!!

Zed weapon: Oh gosh, do I really have to?

Human weapon: ...Kindness?

Faith in humanity: Unrealistically high

Zombie kill count: Single digit

Human kill policy: Not ever, unless completely unavoidable and to defend the defenseless

Survival rating: C...? idk, that feels generous. D+. To be protected at all costs!!

- - -

Jessie also had the initial reaction of hoping zombies could be saved, but she woke up from that dream swiftly. The science-minded person that she is, esp with her interest in biology, leaves her determined to find anybody who's got the intellect, expertise, and resources to start doing actual work toward a treatment, cure, vaccine—anything. Nothing would get her to finally unabashedly embrace her love of science (and innate leadership skills!!) faster than a zombie apocalypse! In fact, it’s thanks to her that the Emerson settlement’s got a small but growing team of scientists doing as much research as humanly possible to best educate the others on the outbreak and zombie behavior. Def no zombie experimentation going on though lol. ...Not yet, at least.

Zed weapon: rifle

Human weapon: rifle

Faith in humanity: High! We’ll find a solution! Don’t give up hope!

Zombie kill count: Double digits, but less than 30

Human kill policy: Only in unavoidable self-defense or defense of others

Survival rating: B! She has experience with ranged weapons, farming and gardening skills, first aid, camping experience, and a can-do attitude with a healthy dose of realism!

- - -

Rain remains cargo as I said in the last post about this 😆 They'd be very good for keeping clothes repaired and making useful modifications in the settlement, but their life up to this point has been very sheltered and privileged. We're talking somebody with a chauffeur and a personal chef before the outbreak! They would contribute to quality of life and homemaking efforts more than anything—an overlooked aspect of these scenarios tbh! After as many months of dragging their feet as possible and being nigh impossible to track down when you need them, they eventually become involved in meal planning and even help out with medical stuff if they're asked.

Zed weapon: how do you reload this thing again?

Human weapon: switchblade or other concealable sharp-pointy

Faith in humanity: Very low

Zombie kill count: 0! Can you believe it!

Human kill policy: Well if it’s you or me, of course I’m choosing me.

Survival rating: C. Being so tiny helps them find good hiding spots and their self-preservation is high enough to keep them from unnecessary risk-taking. Plus they're very stealthy! Self-defense is a major issue though, so hiding is always their best option.

- - -

Rupan/Rohan scouts for and leads scavenging missions and is Curt's right hand on the recruitment team. The two of them together are the perfect combo of diplomacy, debate, and deception--although R is more honorable about the last one and will only deceive for strategic reasons. When they aren’t looting and recruiting, they’re doing peacekeeping inside the settlement. Most social disputes end up getting brought to them for mediation and they’re pretty dang good at making and enforcing calls. One day they’ll wake up to realize they’ve basically become a sheriff and feel the need to puke their guts up and do something, anything, to reassure themself they’re still punk 😂

Zed weapon: SMG

Human weapon: shotgun

Faith in humanity: Believes in fundamental goodness but knows better than to trust first impressions

Zombie kill count: decent, more than 40; you won’t catch them having a field day tho, they’re trying to gtfo of most zed situations

Human kill policy: Violent threats have to be taken out. And they aren’t, at all, immune to a revenge rampage either...

Survival rating: B-. Can handle themself both with humans and zeds but is vulnerable to hostage situations and truly difficult sentimental/interpersonal decisions!

- - -

Vivian/Vincent manages inventory and stock and they run it so efficiently it’s scary! They're the perfect pick: a hawk-eyed tyrant and tattletale 😂 Despite constantly butting heads with just about everyone on every imaginable thing, they quickly become an important part of the inner circle of decision-makers for the settlement at large. Terrible at stealth, jumpy, and squeamish at the sight of blood and gore, they literally never go on missions unless they're 100% needed for their expertise on a supply run. (They would deny all of these shortcomings are that big a problem, meanwhile R is definitely acting as their bodyguard lol.) When they do tag along, they're prone to becoming the damsel in distress. Seriously, it happens near every fucking time. It's like they just attract only the most improbable and perilous zombie attacks and hostage situations 😆

Zed weapon: shotgun

Human weapon: handgun

Faith in humanity: Medium; seeing people work together at the settlement helps restore it a bit

Zombie kill count: Double digits, under 25

Human kill policy: Violent threats have to be taken out. Well, no, not by me! Get one of the ruffians to do it!

Survival rating: C-. They’d be higher if they weren’t such natural zombie bait.

- - -

Heidi is running the settlement, well-organized to the degree of actually managing to bring bureaucracy to a post-zombie apocalypse settlement 😂 People are free to come and go, but getting in if you don't live there requires trading something of value (fuel, med supplies, food, etc), temporary surrender and registry of firearms and explosives, and you gotta GTFO at the time and date specified upon entry! You can stay long-term if you contribute to the community in a tangible way—and each person admitted is approved by Heidi personally. Yes, every individual. No, she has no free time. And she is not known to be lenient with rule breakers—you want rule bending, you’ll have to go to Curt for that. People kind of hate her, but it can't be denied that she runs a tight ship. She kind of throws herself into the work to avoid the harsher reality at large and hasn't left the settlement in a long time. She's out of touch with how bad things have gotten in the wastes, but she knows better than to take reports at anything less than face value--even when she's skeptical.

Zed weapon: rifle

Human weapon: handgun; dagger

Faith in humanity: Medium. It fluctuates, honestly

Zombie kill count: Double digits, less than 20

Human kill policy: Violent threats must be taken out if they can’t be reasoned with. Spare those who surrender, eradicate those who don't, keep an eye on the newbies. Not tryin’ to nurse any vendettas around here lol

Survival rating: B. She's good with a firearm, masterful at persuasion, and savvy enough to calculate risks appropriately. Also far tougher than her prim exterior and demeanor suggests!

- - -

Curt leads the recruitment and reconnaissance teams! When a new person or group shows up in the area, Curt's the one who stalks watches them, decides if they're worth approaching, and if they should be approached with an invitation, a simple acknowledgment/announcement of their presence, or an outright armed warning to leave the area. He also keeps tabs on morale and general confidence inside the settlement, alongside R. When he isn’t leading those efforts, though, he’s flirting with settlers and squirreling his way out of manual labor and other chores. He’s also secretly growing weed at his place--don’t tell Heidi or Vi ‘cause they’ll wanna yell at him and ration it UGH.

Zed weapon: SMG, explosives

Human weapon: handgun, dagger

Faith in humanity: Pft, sorry, what now?

Zombie kill count: ...way more than you’d expect

Human kill policy: I don’t start confrontations, but I sure as fuck end them.

Survival rating: A! He’s good at playing hapless idiot when it suits him to be underestimated, good with firearms, and capable of being ruthless and decisive in life or death situations! Plus he has no qualms about ditching the settlement if he decides it’s not working out for him. Just don’t tell Heidi lol