#especially because literally she knows that he’s the one man who she can always rely on

[wibbly-wobbly-kylie-wylie-blog]

as much as i feel bad for cangxuan, i also am like… buddy you could’ve told xiao yao you liked her YEARS ago like sooo long ago and you didn’t and went and married other women which you know is a big no no for xiao yao

[morphean42]

Falsettos unpopular opinions because two people asked for this and honestly I don’t give a fuck anymore. I want to state this isn’t in response to anyone in particular, though, and if you get offended by any of these think about why. For a good reason? Please tell me and I’d love to debate it, truly. For a petty reason? You’re simply part of the problem.

1. They are Jewish. End of story. If I see anything related to Christianity or Christmas or whatever the fuck with them… shut up. Yes Whizzer is half-Jewish, yes in the revival Cordelia isn’t Jewish (WHICH BRINGS ME TO ANOTHER POINT ILL GET INTO LATER), yes they are most likely secular as evidenced by Mendel’s “religions just a trap” and ‘Days Like This’, no this does not give you the right to ignore their ETHNICITY AND CULTURE.

2. It’s okay to like the revival more. It’s not okay to ignore the original just because you get blinded by conventionally attractive men. Going to my Cordelia point, she’s Jewish in the original, her line ‘Shiksa caterer’ is ‘Kosher caterer’. Again it’s fine if your headcanons and fanfics and fanarts are based on the revival, I love it too, but stop acting like it’s the only version.

3. Whizzer’s entire personality does not revolve around being gay. He’s not a sassy twink. He’s a full grown man with issues that need to be addressed. Again, I reiterate, he is not a twink. Stop. Drawing. Him. Skinny. And. Hairless. I don’t care if ‘ oh but but that’s just my art style!’ Shut up.

4. Correlated to the above point, here are things Whizzer is not: a prostitute, a drug addict, relying on Marvin for everything, a twink (saying that again to get it through peoples fucking skulls), innocent. I’m 100% positive if the people who had these headcanons watched the OBC version of the show they’d never continue to advocate for them… once more I’m begging you guys to look past Andy Randy’s beautiful face and actually use critical thinking skills when it comes to Whizzer.

5. Short but (not) sweet: don’t claim to understand Marvin if you haven’t watched In Trousers. Just don’t.

6. If you flat out hate any character in the show, you’re wrong. Yes I’m still mad about the Mendel thing; if you think any one character is worse than the rest and isn’t just a fully human person with flaws and nuance, you don’t understand the musical as well as you claim.

7. It’s not the ‘gay’ musical. If you like falsettos for Whizzvin and nothing else, please, just… I don’t even know. There’s so much more to it than ‘ooo boys kissing.’ Please grow up, this leads into a whole other point but fetishisation is never okay, no matter who does it.

8. So many people treat Trina as either a perfect angel or just the side character in the way of the gay people. She’s an entire person, an entire character with flaws and hardship and terrible actions done by her and to her. Treat my homophobic queen with the respect she deserves, and acknowledge her faults too. It’s more misogynistic to treat her as perfect when she has issues too than just saying ‘she’s never done anything wrong’.

9. Stop making AIDS jokes.

10. This next one is probably the most iffy on the list. I will never be one to police fandom and creation, you can engage with material in any fucking way you like it literally doesn’t matter to me… but I dislike AUs. Now, I’ll always enjoy a little fun, adding in a twist like lesbian Whizzvin, or enjoying a feel good college AU. But. Especially for Falsettos the canon events are so fucking important and cannot be disregarded as casually as some do. AIDS is an extremely important part of the story, as well as the fact that both Marvin and Whizzer are men. I’m trans myself, but I dislike making them so simply because everything about their characters, all the characters, are so highly specific and important to take these aspects away is to disrespect the message of the musical.

11. It’s very important Mendel is straight. I see some people headcanon him as bisexual or trans or so on, and this just feels so wrong to me. Trina and Mendel are straight and that’s why their acceptance and love for the others in the Tight Knit Family is so important, especially Trina struggles with moving away from the idea that these ‘homosexual tendencies’ are wrong. They are straight but they love Whizzvin and the lesbians just as much as anyone else.

12. This one is so petty and I accept that, but… HIS NAME IS NOT MARVIN GARDENS. GARDEN IS A JOKE CHRISTIAN BORLE MADE BASED ON MONOPOLY. Jesus guys please just stop it it’s so stupid, William Finn didn’t have a last name for Marvin on purpose, and though I can’t do more than theorise what that purpose was, Gardens is so stupid. It’s not even funny. Same goes for Cohen, which just is odd. The only name I could begin to accept is Falsetto, and even then… just work around the last name in your fics.

12 1/2. SIDE TANGENT Jason would never take Weisenbachfeld as his last name. As a child of divorce… no. He’ll never view Mendel as a true father over his own dad, especially after Falsettoland, and he wouldn’t take that name. Hell, I’d known my ex step-father since I was two and I’d never have taken his last name. So, please, I never want to see Jason Weisenbachfeld again. That’s just not how it works.

At the end of the day this is just me alone in my room bitching… I just hope these points resonate with others.

[murder-cookie-dust393]

Ok yeah I think I was too vague or something. Also yes that is a quite from a song.

Here’s some cookies I had in mind when Y/N said this:

Pure Vanilla

Crème brûlée 

Black Pearl

Red velvet?

Sea fairy

You can add extra if you want, but it’s optionally.

-🪑Anon

Okay so I did some brief research on the quote (because I've always never understood what it meant) but basically it means that the person doesn't wants all of the other's love. Which in this case is just feeding into the yandere idea.

I'm so sleepy so if things are weird...I'm too lazy to care.

Tw: Mentions of murder, isolation, kidnapping, nonconsensual transformation of the body, delusions, threats

Pure Vanilla

- If you don't know if this man is obsessed with you, you are inherently stupid. I've basically confirmed he is definitely one of the most obsessive ones, so you feeding into his delusions is not helping. At all.

- MC notices his (extremely obvious) attraction to them and says said quote, "Don't go wasting all your emotions, lay all your love on me". This makes him delighted, as he thinks you're accepting his delusions.

- His delusions are basically that you were meant for him and him only. You should always rely on him for any kind of help you may need. You were destined to be together.

"Oh, my darling bluebell! You really just want me to put all my attention on you, don't you? My, my, I guess I have to fulfill your requests." *smiling so creepily*

- I would imagine he would either A. Manipulate everyone into thinking you're married, or B. He isolates you from everybody. He locks you away in his castle.

Crème Brûlée (FINALLY SOMEONE WHO USES THE DIACRITICS)

- Bro is obviously very focused on his music 24/7. He's constantly practicing or editing his notes on what is going on musically in his sheet music. But...that doesn't mean he isn't keeping an eye on you too.

- He'll be very subtle compared to others when it comes to his yandere tendencies. He's someone who prefers to work in the shadows when it comes to his murders (he will murder 100%). The only time you'll ever see his unhinged moments are when you are alone with him, or you've been blatantly ignoring his affections. I will say, he isn't that obvious, so he can get pissy easily.

- *insert MC saying the quote*. Two things: one, he'll be so relieved and giddy that you notice his affections. Like he is literally doing twirls and jumps of joy. Second, he can narrow his focus onto the tiniest of details easily, so I can imagine he'll be a lot more obvious with his motions.

- Oh and he'll murder more. You basically accept him being a murderer.

"Huh? Why do you look so scared? Don't worry, I'm not gonna stab you or anything. I just killed Mint Choco over there for being too chatty with you." (Average Pianist moment: murdering our competitors /j)

Black Pearl

- Why the fuck would you do this. Like okay Pure Vanilla locks you away, and Crème Brûlée goes stabby stabby, but her??? You are literally everyone is fucked, including you.

- Just like the prior two, she'll be joyous that you're more accepting (kind of). She's much more calm about it. She just kinda giggles before threatening to take you back to the sea with her.

- That's what she does. She drags you down into the sea with her. You'll be kept some kind of structure, whether it's an abandoned ship or an underwater cave. From there, she just admires you and snuggles you a lot. Expect dead bodies as presents.

- She's not necessarily worshipful like Golden Cheese is. She's more so comfortable especially with the fact you're the first person to not have abandoned her/shut her out. More like a clingy but threatening cat.

- Like if you try to leave after what you said she'll just get pissy and destroy all the reasons you have to go back to the surface.

"Aww, now you don't have to go back up there! You can just stay here with me, in our home. You and I need some alone time..."

Red Velvet

- He's odd about it. When you feed into his illness, he's like "Why do you love me???" He assumes you love him back. He's so happy about it but also is confused over whether it's true or not.

- Regardless, he'll be more insistent on protecting you with his cake army. He doesn't want to lose the fact that you don't fear him. You want his love right? What better way than letting his cakehounds be all over you?

- The downfall to this though is that if you try to escape or anyone tries to take you back, he'll rage. He'll be irrational and try to turn you partially into a cake monster like him. He thinks you'll have to stay with him then. He prefers to mould you with a cakehound design.

- Then you'll be extra cute.

"Look at your little ears! They suit you so well. Now you're really the 2nd parent of my children."

- Cakehounds will see you as a parent no matter what.

Sea Fairy

- I read my general headcanons on her, and I think if she sees that you are accepting her actions, her guilt will go away. Then she'll be much more firm with doing anything immoral.

- I think instead of simply trapping you in her tower, she'll try to somehow make you a cookie related to the sea. She'll use her powers and permanently turn you into relying on the ocean.

- If you try to protest after she's done the transformation, she'll be confused. Didn't you say you wanted all her love? Well, this is all her love. You'll eternally have to rely on her and be within her presence.

- She'll feel guilt once more over you being distraught; however, she also feels this is your own fault for saying you want all her love. You could have said you just wanted her attention, not literally all her love.

- She'll try to comfort you after. It's a struggle though.

"Please do not be so troubled. I assure you this form will not change your identity. Only visiting your friends above the sea will be arduous."

—————————————————————————

Please do not feed into a yandere's illness. Literally you're just making a pit of doom for yourself.

Also, if you use Crème Brǔlée’s diacritics I love you.

My back hurts so bad. But anyway, hope you enjoyed! I need to snooze.

- Celina

[wizashcs]

Hi pookie

Ill give you a good start on this bc Im so happy you write these ahain💗

Can I get some ideal date headcanons with Zoro, Nami and Robin? Like what is their dream date would look like with their s/o. Sfw/nsfw is fine too~

Thank you for always supporting me, my dearest!! Of course, I'll give you everything you want.

One Piece Headcanons - What is their dream date with their s/o like, with a little spice~

Zoro

This man is such a loser when it comes to dates, because if he's in love, I'm sure he doesn't know what to do exactly. I think he's relying on his partner more in the planning of dates, since he's fine as long as you're happy. (But choose an activity that he likes or at least doesn't hate, because then he wouldn't get grumpy.)

His ideal date is just you, him, and a beer for each one of you. You'd just find yourselves a nice little nowhere, without the sharp noises of your crew members, and just talk. Maybe he'd even get a little more open about his old stories when he was a pirate hunter, or he'd even talk about his days in training, when he was just a boy. He'd also listen to you talk, secretly being glad that he gets to know the little things about you. (He would be so surprising sometimes, when he'd just randomly give something to you that you've mentioned him years ago. You'd be so emotional about it, while he denies the fact that he remembered at all. No need for him to be called a sweet loverboy, you know.)

Nsfw part:

Since you two have found a little privacy, the swordsman would probably get cheesy enough to pull you onto his lap, listening to you like that, then, after a while, he'd start to run his fingers under your shirt while he's behind your back. When you ask him "What are you doing, Zoro?" - he'd simply reply: "Nothing, continue." You decide to join his game, by trying to ignore his touches on your bare stomach and chest. Needless to say, Zoro would take this as a challenge, and will do everthing to make you lose. You can feel him getting hard on your bottom, his chest touches your back, his mouth is sucking on the side of your neck, leaving blood red hickeys on you, marking you as his once again. Meanwhile, he'd play with your nipple with one hand, and tries to untie your bottom clothes with the other. You two will not get out of there without breaking a sweat, that's for sure.

Nami

(s/o is afab)

Nami likes money, but also likes spending money, especially when you're with her to do that. You two would decide to have an all-day date, including some shopping, and then in the evening a hot bath together, undisturbed. When you guys are out there shopping, she'd insist to buy some new clothes for each one of you, and believe me, she hypes you so much when you put on a new set of clothes. "Baby, this was literally made for you. You look stunning." Even if you're insecure about it, she'd buy it for you. Who knows, maybe one day you'll change your mind. (She will be working on changing your mind very hard.)

When you came back home with your stuff, you two decide to have a bath together. I'm sure she have planned all this, so she'd buy scented candles and colorful bathbombs for your lazy night together. You sit in the tub first, so Nami could sit between your legs, pressing her back against your bare chest, leaning her head to your collarbones. At first, you'd just enjoy the bathbomb's gentle tangerine scent, and the blinking lights of the candles you lit, with the ship's easy rocking. Silence, at last.

Nsfw part:

The feeling of Nami's red hair tickling your skin, she's caressing your leg with her nails gently, from knee to thigh. It would drive you crazy. She always drives you crazy. "Nami, you're doing this again..." You breathe out softly. It seems your scolding wasn't very impactful with that pleased moan. She'd turn her head to you, and smile playfully. "Doing what?" She answered with brattiness in her voice. You both know where'd that lead to. The door is locked, so who could stop you two? Nami turns over to you with her body as well, and you'd pull her into a passionate kiss. She'd hug your neck with one of her hands, and with the other, she'd start to wander down across your chest, then your stomach, slowly down there, on your heated spot. She would begin drawing circles around your clit, and after a little while, her middle finger would find your slippery entrance under the water, carefully but also confidently pushing her way into you. You moan and run your fingers through her orange tufts, making her sigh a little. "It's been so long... You won't escape me now." She'd say just before she'd lean back hungrily to the mouth she was longing for.

Robin

Robin would appreciate cozy dates, where you two would visit a nearby library, finding some goods to read together back on the ship, in her room. You'd choose something easy, a short romance novel for the night, instead of an archaeological science book. (I mean, she would really like that, and I'm sure she would read from those to you as well, but no way that's an easy subject.)

When you came back from the library with the book you chose together, you decide to settle into Robin's bedroom. She would open a nice bottle of wine for the two of you, and you could begin your cozy, reading night. You'd read the chapters aloud, and when you reached the end of a chapter, you would take turns. To be honest, you both love hearing eachother read. There's something of a passion, an art about reading to someone. Robin's words flow into your mind like a river, wishing the chapter would never end, because that would mean she'd stop speaking on her gentle voice, and you'd have to take turn. "I could listen to your voice all day." You said, when Robin finished her part. The woman smiled gently, almost shy. "I could read you all day."

Nsfw part:

So you persuaded her to read the rest of the chapters by herself... She sat on a sofa all this time, but as the time passed, you two found yourselves laying on her bed, cuddling. Robin held the book between her two summoned hands, while you rested your head on her chest, snuggling up the her tall, slim shaped body. She held you in her own arms, while she was reading the last chapter of the book. You'd stroke her arm that held you, and then, from a sudden thought, you'd put your hand on her lower stomach, starting to caress her with your nails tenderly. Her stomach jumped a little each time when you touched her, but she managed to keep her words flow the same as before. You became pretty amazed, seeing her being able to resist for so long, even after you began to do the same to her inner thighs, and eventually reached her womanhood as well. Yep, she'd read the last chapter until the last page's last word, while you literally finger her. "You are an unbelievable one." She says, and just after she put the book on her nightstand, she'd turn to you and pull you closer with all four of her hands. "Now... Let's see how long you can ignore my touches, my love."

[bloomeng]

I know MXTX is a good author I want to get that out of the way before I get into this. She’s a fantastic (male) character writer and she has a great grasp on interpersonal connections. Though she’s working in an established niche genre she’s still very creative, I think SV especially is evidence of that. But there’s one thing that I just can never seem to get a pulse on, and that’s how much she means to comment on classism.

Author’s intent is always gonna be tricky especially when I have to rely on translated texts and interviews. There’s probably a lot of nuance that I miss, not to mention literally interviews I’ve never seen etc. It also doesn’t help that I haven’t read most of TGCF yet, so I can’t comment on that series, and with SV this conversation is less applicable, so for the sake of what I know best I’m gonna be using MDZS as my main example.

Classism is undeniably at the heart of MDZS’s themes, however for years anytime I analysis the text I’m usually fairly cautious to note that I don’t know if this was intentional. This isn’t because I think MXTX is stupid or can’t handle deep conversations, it’s simply because I can’t tell if it was her intent. On paper it seems obvious; WWX, JGY and XY’s wealth disparities, how privilege drives the plot, literally everything about the Wens as a whole. So much of the novel’s runtime is spent showing us how corrupt the feudal system can be, going so far as to have a protagonist who dies for the cause and two antagonists who are driven to be awful because of their poor circumstances in life. It feels intentional that WWX was granted a certain amount of privilege based on something he was born with (his parents connections) and how easily people turned on him. Sure he does unethical things but if not for his status it’s likely he wouldn’t have had to do half the things he ends up doing, not to mention that plenty of people didn’t like before the demonic cultivation started. JGY acting as a foil for WWX feels intentional and I would absolutely consider them foils regardless of intent. With all this in mind I would be inclined to say that yeah, MDZS is commenting on classism, but then WWX marries into the corrupt system and we the audience are supposed to read this as a good thing.

This has always been my biggest qualm with the book. We spend so much time showing how awful this system is and the two people who do anything to try and save it are punished for it by death. Sure WWX is brought back but as soon as he’s in Mo’s body he’s aimless. JGY is of course the secondary villain of the series, but MXTX goes out of her way to make us understand that even when JGY had power, his birth kept him from actually holding any real control, and what control he did have he mostly used to get bad people out of power and make the community better (he was biased and paranoid and vengeful but MXTX’s characters are nothing if not nuanced). Why set all this up to end up in such a contradictory place?

I get that solving such big issues such as classism isn’t easy and we want a happy ending but does MDZS even have a happy ending? None of the mc’s besides LWJ and (supposedly) WWX and LSH and LJY are in good positions by the end of the story. I remember reading MDZS for the first time and thinking that LWJ would fall for WWX because of his radical ideas and eventually see that the Lans were contributing big time to this awful system that favors wealth over everything. Especially because we have a second plot line about whatever was going on with LXC and JGY. And then it just never happens. Instead the Lan sect are painted as ok just because they’re monks. The system wasn’t the issue actually it was the people in charge but don’t worry they’re gone. Life is great now that the most powerful sects are in the hands of a 15 yr old, a man with unchecked anger issues, a council of elders that think corporal punishment is the solution to everything and a man who committed to a life long bit to get out of all forms of responsibility. What could go wrong?

I’ve always thought it was strange and ooc that WWX just accepts going back to Cloud Recesses. His literal incense burner fantasy was a cottage in the woods away from society. He never really warms up to the rigidity or their bland ass food, and he doesn’t even really respect the Lans culture more than he has to. It’s clear he only lives there for his husband and son’s sake. So why am I to believe this is his fairy tale ending?

The only answer I’ve been able to grasp over the years is that the romance genre of the novel overpowers everything else.

This is what brings me back to my original point. I don’t know if MXTX’s intended to comment on class, because if she did I struggle to understand how the ending of the story fits this intention. Which means by default it wasn’t the intention, at least not the priority. I mean ok duh, obvious conclusion, this is a danmei, it’s the bl genre, of course the romance comes first, but that’s not exactly what I’m getting at. You can absolutely have a romance that comments on other things at the same time and I think MXTX’s writing is smart enough to do this, except it fumbled so hard at the end it left me questioning if she even meant to comment on classism in the first place.

A part of me thinks that all of this commentary was just a coincidence of the genre conventions. Cultivator/ historical fantasy tends to just have classism baked into setting, so maybe that’s all it was. Perhaps she was just borrowing what was already there to make interesting character motivations and it wasn’t done with any intention of commenting on any sort of greater societal issue. Which for the record would be ok. I’m not policing what MXTX should write and romance for the sake of romance is perfectly valid, but as a reader I’m allowed to say this particular instant made me dislike the actual romance she set up. These issues in the book made me actively dislike LWJ. I’m on an island about that though. Getting back to my point, I struggle to call this commentary intentional and thus things like WWX and JGY suddenly feel unintentional as well.

I also find MXTX’s own words to be contradictory at times. For instance, she’s mentioned that after SV she found writing more than one couple to be too taxing. When asked if other characters in MDZS were gay she said explicitly they were not, yet both MDZS and TGCF have unofficial side couples that are an inch away from being canon. She’s also mentioned that XY, Sl, and XXC were old characters of hers and were originally going to be the focus of the book, which leads me to believe that they would’ve been a canon love triangle. So I am skeptical when she said all the characters besides WWX and LWJ are straight. I’m not accusing her of lying or anything like that. Tolkien contradicted himself so many times in his letters and essays, it’s sort of par for the course in my opinion. What it does mean though is that I can’t get a read on her intentions. What I can gather from what she tends to focus on in her extras, interviews, and just the fact that this is the BL genre, I’m inclined to believe that a lot of these parallels are unintentional but then I circle back to just how heavy handed it all is and I’m unsure again.

Anyway this was just the world’s longest way to say that actually we don’t have any idea what her intentions are and this is why when I’m analyzing her work I make a point to not put words in her mouth.

[sugar-grigri]

Yo! I wrote an analysis of 167 that you might be interested in. https://www.tumblr.com/lottimiqo/752646719530041344/when-are-people-going-to-start-noticing-that-denji

Thank you!!!!! I'm very flattered when people send me their analyses.

But I'd just like to make a few comments about what I've read!

It's vital to take each interpretation seriously, and I take yours seriously, as it explains Denji's initiative by analyzing his verbal behavior, which is a brilliant approach given that we're dealing with an almost silent chapter.

Just as you have to accept that I didn't read the chapter that way. And I think that our difference in reading can be explained by a crucial element, the fact that you rely on the second half of the chapter, deciding to base your analysis on a specific moment, whereas I always prefer to take a global view, sometimes even in an extreme way, by analyzing one chapter in relation to the others.

The 2 are equal, because a perfect understanding of an important moment is just as interesting when read as a whole. You'll prefer to clarify the analysis when I'll prefer to focus on the coherence of an entire work.

But to get back to the basics, there's something fundamental that I don't see taken into account very much in general: Denji doesn't know who he's kissing. What I mean is that even though the first kiss with Yoru was received positively and he undertook a second kiss, Denji thinks he has a relationship with Asa when he doesn't.

I know it's advisable to steer away from a literal reading when it comes to Asa / Yoru, and you're right to prefer a more metaphorical approach.

But even by a symbolic, metaphorical approach, the narrative consequence is completely different. For one wants to kill CSM, while the other wants to save him. Denji's embrace of the one who wishes to kill him is fundamentally strong in its contradiction. If it were Asa, the conclusion would be more logical and gentle.

Above all, you decide not to focus your analysis on the first part of the chapter, which I find fundamental. For the first chapter is expressly about Denji's desire to distance himself from his sexual appetite, and he has several non-verbal reactions.

Like placing his hand in front of his crotch!

Just as it's vital that the chapter opens with Denji wanting to mutilate himself, not wanting to see his limb severed, but also taken out in such a place, just as touched. In short, Denji expresses a clear desire at the beginning of the chapter not to suffer.

Just as Denji is anxious for the woman he thinks is Asa to see his dick, he's afraid of being mutilated. Intrusion and mutilation are placed on the same plane in this bubble.

Especially the first part gives a dimension of struggle between the two. The knife drops but Yoru violently grabs Denji's crotch. Yoru makes it explicit: I deny your feelings and the confrontation with CSM is all she's interested in.

I don't know if Denji really initiated the kiss. He's not bent over to do it, he's bent over because he's constantly hunched over and literally has his dick on borrowed time. The questioning around the kiss is on Yoru's side. For me, she's the one who initiates it.

She kisses him, pulls back abruptly as she realizes what she's done and looking back at Denji, feels like doing it again. She moves forward, backward and intensifies.

Just as we can analyze Denji's non-verbal behavior, his hands don't touch Yoru, he remains disturbed and overwhelmed by his sensations.

That's why, for me, this chapter is profoundly noisy in its silence, in its violence. Denji wants to get rid of his sexual appetite but he doesn't want to be mutilated, but Yoru decides to force him into his patterns. Just as it's when Denji is abused that Yoru remembers his kiss with him.

Because assaulting Denji pleases her. Perhaps because she has feelings for him through Asa, but also because she craves violence against Chainsaw Man.

The most logical conclusion to all this is sexual assault. A brutal compromise, reconciling hatred and unhealthy desire.

Denji never looks Yoru during the act, more often staring into space as if glued to the need to realize, but he's constantly caught short.

Denji is overwhelmed and his body no longer belongs to him. Yoru is hogging it. Just as Yoru is monopolizing Asa's.

Anyway, that's how I see it.

[hyperref-lex-ia]

lots of common reactions i get as a mute person

all the following are peoples reaction when they assume i am deaf, the most common assumption

- flustered and lifts hands to try and sign and then lowers them when they realize they dont know ASL

- flustered and starts to sputter and talk before settling on mouthing things at me

- mouths “can you lip read”

- talks really loud at me (which wouldnt do much if i was deaf so idk)

- goes to find something to write on

- sometimes if i type on my phone in my notes when i need to say something other than yes or no people will go to literally take my phone from me to type back instead of literally anything else

- signs some of the more common sign, i get thank you a lot (especially in customer service situations, which is where most of these happen)

- if it is someone on the street saying something and they assume im deaf when i sign at them they usually just disregard me which is actually really nice

these next ones are when people dont assume im deaf, which is rarer

- talks to me normal

- talks to me like im dumb

heres a few nice incidents

- guy asked me if i was mute in spanish and i nodded and he asked if i knew spanish and i was like not really lol (live in a heavily hispanic area so i picked up on enough to understand) and he switches to english and shares about a talk he had gone to recently about mutism

- girl working at sonic assumed i was deaf and ran inside just to grab her phone to help me which i thought was really sweet so i just didnt correct her

- just today i was using the self checkout at a gas station and the guy behind the register sees me getting frustrated with the card reader and slides over a piece of receipt paper that says “tap works better” and i am like “i dont have tap” and i decide to just cancel the self checkout and move to him cause hes got good vibes and he holds the bag up and raises an eyebrow allowing me to have a choice in it which i dont often get. when i am leaving he signs “have a good day” super slow and obviously practiced a lot, and the fact that he obviously learned that just in case this happened made me really happy

- every time someone has happened to know ASL in public, its always surprising how many hearing/verbal people know ASL, almost always because they are CODA

- the enthusiastic gay man at my eye doctor who got so excited when he saw i signed even though he doesnt know it, because he thought it was so cool

- every person who goes “oh you speak ASL” and then immediately thinks about thay sentence and kind of 404 errors out as they realize you cant speak ASL

- the tiny middle aged mexican woman who has worked the store at my school the entire time ive been going there who knows me because i always go there for caffeine and snacks, and manages to always communicate with me despite a couple language barriers and will often berate me if i dont get water with my caffeine or if i dont get food, and who also wishes me happy holiday for every holiday that comes around, and was also very visibly worried when i had to rely on a cane for a few months

- my painting professor who always takes so much pressure off because hes so blunt, when i came in with a cane everyone danced around asking about it and he walks in and goes “what the hell happened to you??”, the most recent thing that made me laugh is we were talking and i was using TTS and as we are walking into the studios he goes “im gonna go talk with Ronnie, give your thumbs a break” and then we both started laughing

the worst interaction ive had

- had one of my professors numbers which happens sometimes because it makes life easier and she texted me out of the blue saying she “had a dream she was at my wedding and i spoke my vows” with heart emojis and i did not know this woman at all and i was like…what the fuck…not only is that unprofessional but also ableist

lastly shout out to my friends who translate for me purely off lip reading who dont know ASL

[sparklingmusicofstars]

Catarina's romantic tastes

Who is most likely to end up with Catarina ?

To me, it's definitely Geordo, he has the most romantic moments and is with Catarina most of the time. We have his POV very often in almost all the volumes, especially where we can see how much he loves her. He is also definitely one of Catarina's closest friend. Now I think that 4 people can possibly be considered as romantic interests by Catarina. These people are Geordo, Keith, Maria and Sora. But they are all missing something very important to be loved romantically by Catarina.

I think that to be loved romantically by Catarina (I also looked at the game for that) you need 4 important things :

Someone very reliable, someone she can rely on, protect her and that she wouldn't have to hide anything from them and of course be able to "scold" her when she is doing reckless things

Someone she can be comfortable with, who doesn't want her to behave in a perticular way

Someone who can makes her feel good, because Catarina seems to have a serious inferiority complex, this person would have to help her having more self-confidence.

Someone who can makes romantic advances (not too much) without being uneasy.

For the time being the only people who have all those qualities (or almost) are Raphael, Sora (Aaqil), (Cezar) and maybe Nicol.

I unfortunately won't put Sophia because she is "best friend" ranked and she is helping Nicol.

Geordo : 1, (2), (4)

Geordo almost have all these qualities but he is missing a very important thing, he is not able to make her having more self confidence and that's one of the reason Catarina can't love him (now) romantically. Honestly I don't particulary like or hate Geordo (though I HATE his version in verge of doom) But one of the reason I can't love him is because it's partly his fault if Catarina lacks so much self confidence. At first I thought he didn't know about her inferiority complex but in LN13 he told her that she is always undervaluing herself so it means he knows. Moreover there is the fact that Catarina is literally harassed by the noble ladies who want to become Geordo's fiancée, he is doing nothing to stop this harassement, even if Catarina has a strong heart it doesn't mean that it can't hurt her, she is still a human. The reason why Catarina doesn't react is because she thinks that they are right, that she is not worthy of being Geordo's fiancée and that she doesn't have any qualities. I mean, Catarina is okay on Geordo CHEATING on her because she is "not good enough for him" and because she is a "villainess". It won't lead them anywhere. I think Geordo is horrible for not trying to put an end to this because I'm sure that if he has done that Catarina wouldn't have so much of an inferiority complex and could more easily love him. After all "To love someone you need to love yourself first" so as long as Catarina doesn't love herself she won't be able to love anyone. To put it simply, the reason why Catarina is so dense is because she lacks too much self confidence.

Keith : 1, (2)

In Keith's case he is lacking the 2,3 and 4. unfortunately for him he is acting too motherly so Catarina can't see him as a man, what's more he is always calling her "big sister" and it won't help him. I won't deny that Keith is a gentle man but it's also mostly his fault if Catarina is always undervaluing herself. I know that people think that he is just scolding her about that not being ladylike but he never tried to praise her even just a little to make her feel better. He didn't even try to stop the harrasement either. And he is too dependent on her to make the progress in their relationship. And honesly I don't understand why people who love Catarina can love her mother. I think she can be very mean and heartless, as good proof of it when Catarina was kidnapped she was sure that her mother would just abandon her if the ransom was too much, I felt very sad for her at that moment. And she also scolds Catarina too much and for almost nothing sometimes. Honestly If I had a mother like that I would be very gloomy all the time. So, If Keith wants Catarina to see him as a man he needs to act more manly and be more sensitive to how she feels.

Mary : 2,4

Mary is very similar to Keith for some things because, like him, she worsens Catarina's complex (though not as much as him) . By always telling Catarina how difficult it is to be a prince's consort she makes Catarina feel very bad about herself. And even if Catarina feels comfortable around Mary she doesn't see her as a reliable figure who can protect her and Mary isn't able to say the right words to make her feel better. Though regarding the romantic advances she would have no problem. But now she is more trying to protect her from her rivals.

Maria : 2 ,(3)

Even though Maria can be reliable she is unable to protect Catarina and Catarina can't see her as someone she can really rely on (since she has to save Maria all the time). Maria can't make romantic advances and is not serious about it and even if Catarina is comfortable with her she can't help but think of Maria as "the heroine" which creates a distance between them. And Maria unfortunately can't help her with her inferiority complex nor make Catarina feel better about it.

Alan : (1),2, (3), (4)

I have mixed feelings for Alan, because he has 1, 2 but he is lacking the others qualities. Unlike Keith and Geordo he doesn't make Catarina's complex worse but he still can't make her feel better about it. Maybe part of it is because they spend little time together and rarely alone. And even if he teases her and can be rude sometimes he is still very honest and gentle (when he wants it) And tsunderes are always very popular ^^ He just needs to learn how to act more manly and learn to be less shy with relationships and it will be perfect. Because if Catarina see Keith as a mother, she see Alan as a child and doesn't take him seriously in romance matters.

Nicol : 1, 2, 3, (4)

About Nicol, I think he has 1,2,3 but is lacking a bit 4. Nicol is a very gentle person and can be very romantic (take the example of LN8 and 11) Since he has a little sister he is used to take care of people and he doesn't want her to behave in a specific way because he likes her the way she is. He also doesn't make Catarina's complex worse and if he could talk more I think he could help her to be more confident. He only has one major problem...You guessed right : His devilish charm but the poor guy can't do anything about it. But with the help of Sophia and his parents who support him, I think that, if he tried he would have almost no problem to win Catarina's heart.

Raphael : 1, 2, 3, (4)

He has all the qualities needed but maybe because he doesn't have much time with Catarina he lacks a bit 4. He just wants to protect her and is okay with anyone she ends up with as long as she is happy. He can give her great advices and praise her with the right words to make her feel better and to him Catarina's opinion matters the most (like Nicol) . He isn't afraid of scolding her if needed out of worry for her and even if he doesn't see her often he is very sensitive to her feelings, sharp, and really trusts her. He just needs to be more serious about his pursue and I'm sure he would have no problem winning Catarina's heart. He is also one of the only one Catarina see as a man.

Sora : 1 ,2, 3, (4)

Sora, too, has almost all the qualities because it's obviously with him that Catarina is the most comfortable around. He is cool and reliable. Even if his ways of showing his worry can be rude or too honest he is still a very caring person and he is ready to protect Catarina as much as necessary, even indirectly. He is also quite smart because he can make subtle romantic advances to make progress. Like the way he chased the guys away at the ocean harbor by pretending it was "his job". Or the way he always takes her to her carriage at the gates of the Ministry even if it means take a detour to go back to the dorms. He doesn't particulary help her with her inferiority complex but he doesn't worsen it either.

Cezar : 1, 2, (3), 4

I don't know much about Cezar since we didn't see him much but he seems to have 1,2 and 4. Unfortunately he doesn't seem that serious about his pursue but, like Sora, he is easygoing and considerate so Catarina is very comfortable with him. But maybe because he doesn't have much time with her we can't really see him trying to win Catarina's heart. He is able to make romantic advances (but doesn't do it) and he is reliable and can protect Catarina . And he is a prince so he can perfectly compete against Geordo and the others. So I think his problem is mainly the motivation and he doesn't have much self- confidence himself and I think that's why he would be a good match for Catarina since he can help her with her complex and Catarina with his.

Aaqil : 1, 2, 4, (3)

I'm not sure about Aaqil but I think he has almost all the qualities. He is reliable and can protect Catarina, and she does see him as a man (at least not as child). He wants her to be herself and prefers when she is acting casually and is okay with her outstanding personnality. I don't know if he can help her with her complex but he can make gentle romantic advances and Catarina is comfortable with him. He has a very gentle personnality and really cares about her. I think he and Catarina just have to interact more with each other and they could end up together. He also needs to help her with her inferiority complex.

EDIT : Geordo and Keith also made an expensive mistake in their confessions. They didn't tell her WHY they love her.

[evasleveragefanshit]

I wanted to talk about The Broken Wing Job and a thing I noticed about Parker.

I think we all know that Parker is definitely Autistic-coded, though to exactly what extent that was directly intentional depends largely on who you ask.

What I noticed is Parker's initial hostility toward Amy. She gets upset because Amy is trying to be friendly towards her in a way Parker interprets as insincere.

I think a lot of Autistic people can relate to the experience of being suspicious towards people who act friendly, especially if it might be insincere, because social interaction can be filled with invisible landmines. This can result in people who do the opposite of masking. Basically, seeing conversation/ friendly overtures as a type of conflict and refusing to play the game. Rather than try to figure out the rules for optimal conversation (and risk getting them wrong and being ostracized), they just skip to choosing to make things as uncomfortable for the other person to avoid trying and failing.

I think we see Parker do this a lot throughout the series. I mean, her first instinct when she feels social conflict while grifting is literally to start stabbing. She never masks to make the team more comfortable, even when she learns how to play the game to grift.

So, when it comes to The Broken Wing Job, Parker acts as weirdly as possible. See: "Best meal I ever had was in French prison." I see this as her trying to communicate 'I am not like you' in an attempt to get Amy to acknowledge the communication barrier and leave her alone.

HOWEVER, as the episode goes along, Amy not only accepts all the strange Parker gives off, but shows Parker some of her own strangeness back. (See: all of the people watching).

Amy met Parker on her level and communicated in a way Parker understood.

This is really important because even her teammates sometimes fail to do this. They don't always 'get' Parker, and because of this they can sometimes dismiss her. I think Eliot and Sophie are the worst about this.

Sophie gets Parker sometimes, but as a grifter she relies on the rules of neurotypical interaction, and can sometimes get frustrated with Parker, or try to get her to do it the "normal" way.

Eliot out of all of them is the most stereotypical man out of all of them, and as such he has a strong tendency to enforce this worldview. He does this to Hardison, at least originally, when he sincerely does not value computer skills because he deems them "geeky/ nerdy". Similarly, he is the one who most frequently chides Parker to get her to be less weird. That said, he tends to speak straight forwardly, say what he means, and honor his word. So out of all of them, he may be the one she understands the best.

Anyway, that's all.

[pavlovianpanic]

first off, i just want to say that sometimes i just look at how a game is made to operate in the way i was taught game storytelling, so to me, it really always comes down to this: hope vs. despair, good guys and bad guys. all stories really rely on that formula in a way, even danganronpa straight out just goes "it's fucking hope or despair!!!!" and we ran with it. it's the most basic of storytelling. there have to be antagonists to the protagonist(s). without it, a story kind of falls apart. no one wants to watch a bunch of really good guys doing really awesome cool things with no conflict. that's just boring.

i know there's a lot of discourse, it's even on the wiki, about what communications nathan is and is not having with his dad and jefferson. his dad emails him. we don't see direct contact with jefferson. however, arguably, nathan lives right on top of jefferson's work. they don't have to really be too secretive in too many ways. it's not unusual for jefferson to speak to students, and he openly favors nathan in ways that we can infer and sort of see. he has openly kind of been nathan's mentor because ... i really don't think anyone would notice or question it. the principal? noticing anything? okay, sure. and the other students? who are young teens worried about themselves, more worried about if nathan is going to kick their ass or not? they aren't paying attention unless they have to. max wasn't. she only notices things when they become important at first and then later picks up details as she knows to start looking for them actively. because she is a video game character and that's usually how that goes. we don't know what to do until we know what to do, ya know?

so ... it's split in the assumption of nathan is also communicating with his dad on his burner phone or not. i think he was. i think sean will often block nathan's number because nathan "asks too much of him", and will unblock him later to talk with nathan. if he really needs to, he can just email him, but there's something too instantaneous about nathan texting him all the time. ask me how i know rich dads act like this? how they also have two phones and you have one number? how they never text back unless they need something from you or need you to make them feel better? but when you can be used as a way to boost them? they're all over you finally. it's nauseating.

and it's harsh, but it's true. a man like sean doesn't want to be bothered by nathan. nathan is his son, yes, but not always his priority. that's just how rich people can be. that's how anyone can be.

personally? sean is a huge red flag as having npd imo. he made his son have borderline, that's a condition you are not born with but bred to have if that makes sense. a lot of nathan's uncontrollable urges are because he saw his father never have to control his, and only in public does sean really "control himself" but he's described as mean, so he's not trying that hard. the people he tries hardest with are the people above himself. and in reality, everyone is beneath him, they just don't know it yet. learn, nathan. learn your place.

nathan only exists to sean when he needs nathan to exist (and almost vice versa). when they share the same space, one must become very small in cohabitation and submissive ... and that's not going to be sean. sean is the dominant force of that house, he is the decider, he is the moneymaker, and he is the man. being a man is very important to nathan, i wonder why.

i don't think jefferson really acts as this like "catch you when you fall!" and then pulls the rug on nathan by ignoring him until nathan finally makes it up to him. again, no one cares if a teacher is talking to their literal favorite student who they mentor, especially in a college-like environment. it's a high school masquerading as a college, but like ... no one notices, they care about what's going on with them. additionally, you know no one in this school cares. look at kate? the whole thing? her own friends ditch her because the literal bully bullied her who likely bullies them. come on, man. i know kids are like that, but jfc.

do i think he communicates with jefferson on that phone? of course. i think nathan is also a person that gets very high and sometimes doesn't even know what phone he's on. like, if we as sober people sometimes can't even remember what tumblr accounts we're on and mess up, i imagine a boy on all the drugs he's on is probably prone to making a mistake. i mean, a lot of his story is making mistakes. but again, i think he reaches out to his dad because his dad is ignoring him and he "needs" sean's help. in the end, only "daddy can save you, nathan" kind of vibes. i think he knows his dad will hurt him, but keep him alive, whereas now with jefferson ... he's beginning to not be so sure. i think nathan was hot and heavy in pursuing this dynamic with jefferson, was mad it got cold when he fucked up, and then was also scared when it heated back up again as it started to spiral out fast.

additionally, for sean, he has a very limited voice, especially taking bts out entirely. we know him almost not at all, we know an idea of him. but we know enough to know what he would sound like, how he would treat nathan, and all of nathan's telling us the whole game what he's like is pretty clear. nathan is desperately trying to reach his father, who will and will not listen depending on if he wants to or not. sometimes, he just doesn't want to hear what nathan has to say.

i think victoria is a choice from jefferson to pressure nathan. he knows victoria isn't the right choice, but it's also victoria that nathan really reveres and protects. jefferson knows that. he talks to nathan. he knows what he's about. nathan is all but literally screaming out for anyone to listen. that's all jefferson had to do, just like sean said: listen. nathan will come undone instantly. so, in putting victoria on the chopping block, it encourages nathan to act harder and faster to go for the ones he really wants nathan to get. this is all fear tactics and emotional manipulation with these two.

additionally, i could talk about their (nathan and jefferson) mutual fascinations with kate and max (and rachel) ... but that's another post for another time.

also my last important late addition: nathan is always screaming about his dad in public. thus this is why his dad tells him not to do that anymore. he still does, but that's why.

[ajaxbell]

Story of Kunning Palace is everything I shouldn't like and I love it

I picked up Story of Kunning Palace rather spontaneously, something to watch when I couldn't sleep, something to replace the run of really awful xianxias I keep quitting after a couple episodes. I went in knowing nothing about SoKP.

I was not prepared.

Oh, I said to myself, Zhang Linghe is in this. Fun!

Well my friends, while you should watch this because it's excellent, you should also brace yourselves. I did not expect to be utterly obsessed with this show and binge it all in like a week. Like literally I never do that. But the plot is interesting. It's beautifully shot. The cast is quite excellent. And the chemistry is off the charts.

Bai Lu is fantastic in this. She takes a complex roles and nails while giving the character an undercurrent of vulnerability that should win anyone over. She has sizzling chemistry with everyone she encounters, including one character who is the human equivalent of cream of wheat, and with the princess which is utterly delightful.

But Zhang Linghe. Whew, let me sit down and fan myself for a second. This is not the man who deftly played both Changheng and Xiao Run in Love Between Fairy and Devil. This is not the sweater-clad romantic his Studio seems to want to portray him as. This is... something else. Let me start with the caveat that I rarely go for the villain. I especially do not go for the villains who do not seem redeemable. And here in SoKP his character, Xie Wei, does not initially appear to be redeemable. He is a red flag a mile wide. He is a calculated mask of refinement over seething rage that always seems on the verge of breaking through. He appears capable of real violence. He sneers. He threatens. He's possessive and jealous to a disturbing degree. He generally looks disgusted with the world around him. And it is sexy as fuck. Why I am so in to this character? I can barely explain it beyond good acting and good storytelling. He is an utterly unhinged character, a veneer of civility over a feral creature ready to kill you at the slightest provocation, at least until you penetrate his armor. And then whew. You're in for quite a bumpy ride from beginning to end with his character, but so worth it for some incredible character development.

This is a reincarnation story of sorts, though slightly muddled since Chinese censorship won't allow those stories. It opens on the Empress, Jiang Xuening (Bai Lu) narrating her rise to power by any means necessary only to fall when rebels over take the palace. We see a lot of cruelty and violence and then rather than dying the Empress wakes up in the past with all her memories intact.

In this new life Jiang Xuening does everything she can to change events from the future she remembers, but ends up in the thick of it anyway. Along the way she collects an incredible cast of characters who all seem to fall in love with her (as you will too) and a long list of enemies so vile you will find yourself shouting at the screen for our heroes to just poison these assholes already.

It is especially interesting that here many of the side characters are the kind of good and honorable heroes, with excellent fighting skills or noble birth, that you often find at the center of these stories. Our secondary characters are sunshine, sweetness, and upright morality. But our leads are intensely morally grey, rely only on their wits, and are so packed full of trauma it's amazing they can function at all. And yet the story manages to wring some incredible depictions of friendship and loyalty out of this morally dubious center and make a story so irresistible that I lost sleep to watching several nights in a row.

In fairness some of that was because I just sort desperately needed more of Xie Wei the walking red flag, because whew he was so compelling. But it is truly a good and intricate story so full of twists that the constant surprise makes it even more satisfying. Highly recommend. But don't go into it looking for a sweet love story, it's a violent palace intrigue story with a side of very morally dubious and toxic romance with a smattering of consent issues, but weirdly, maybe even better for that? (And if you have a choking kink, this show will reward you!😅)

(And I'm not much one for celebrity gossip, but I will say that Zhang Linghe and Bail Lu gazing at each other in promo appearances for this has real 'get you someone who looks at you like Wang Yibo looks Xiao Zhan' vibes. Their on screen chemistry is searing, but it seems to have somehow carried over to or from real life because these people seem to very much, uh, admire each other.

gif from here

[kerubimcrepin]

Episode 9: The Legendary Unikron

The post where I finally make the naming format of this blog more sane

This is the same place as the one, where in the episode "Heads for no Tails" it will be revealed that Kerubim obtained the legendary, life-draining Heads for no Tails restraint while pissdrunk. Y'know. The one meant for an Ondine created by Djaul to trick the dragon Aguabrial into creating a Dofus.

Yeah, I will not think too much about the fact that it is flipped. To me, they're The Same Place. I guess he's been drinking here for decades. Kind of cute.

And yeah I guess it means the Ondine named Ondine, from the episode Like a Snapper in the Water is literally just named "Siren the Siren". I guess her mermaid parents weren't very creative. I'll mention this when I liveblog that episode too, but I would feel bad, if I didn't mention this here too.

We will talk about my feelings on Kerubim leaving the legendary demon-killing life-draining shackles somewhere Joris, in his shelf-climbing corridor-running wisdom, could reach, later.

We'll get there when we get there.

Glad to know there's a reason Kerubim and Joris live in a bad neighborhood. And that reason is that Kerubim wouldn't be tolerated anywhere else.

Love his scary and off-putting behaviours.

Okay, rant incoming:

Firstly, this is a customary french drink bowl, to stop any wondering from the non-french aware readers. It's normal for French people to drink coffee, milk, and tea from a bowl, soup-style, in the morning and in the evening. So this part is normal.

Now onto more sillywhacky part of this: What the fuck is Joris doing here, exactly?

As we can see, his Bowl of Liquid is steaming even before he starts pouring the chocolate milk into it. Is he adding chocolate milk to hot milk? Is he adding chocolate milk to cocoa or hot chocolate? (I will fight people who don't differentiate between them, they're two different things, you heathens.)

Is he, mayhaps, adding it... to tea?

We will never know, yet the question is haunting.

Interestingly, it seems that one of Simone's jobs around the house is polishing swords. Also, her being here so late means that, quite predictably, she is a live-in maid.

(You can see that like, 50% of this blog is me paying to random details that could only be useful in like, extremely faithful fanfiction, and 50% getting whacky with this show's storytelling.)

I love Simone so, so much. Truly, she is Joris's cooler aunt.

No comment besides this image.

Joking. I do have a comment, actually. Imagine me putting on a tinfoil hat here, btw.

I think it's kinda telling that Joris's main fear, the one that re-occurs a multiple times during the show, and always, without fail, makes him break down in tears, is Kerubim dying.

The facts that are important to keep in mind are: They've been living together alone for Joris's entire life, Joris knows he's adopted, and Kerubim himself is an orphan, which he doesn't really hide.

Which leads to multiple conclusions, which all coexist:

1. Joris is a kid who's very aware of the mortality of parents/guardians, and that, above everything else, that he is lucky to have a home and a semblance of family. That if Kerubim wasn't there, he may not have had that.

Which is uh... a pretty stressful thing for a kid his age to know, I suppose!

Especially considering the fact that Kerubim is an old man riddled with back pains, and for 7 years had such a level of post-lou-divorce post-battle-with-julith depression that he could not figure out how to get them into a clean, non-shitty non-hazardous home.

And now that their home IS clean, still can't make it non-hazardous.

2. Joris and Kerubim are much closer than most parents and children, because they literally have no other relatives, and Kerubim has pushed away most people who would consider him a friend in the past. Only relying on one another isn't the best or healthiest idea, but what choice do they have?

You can't just show up at home, be like "i would be dead, if it wasn't for you giving me water, my jojo <3" and not expect to inflict some eldritch horror levels of psychic damage onto your son.

Especially considering the fact, that he KNOWS, from your own shitty stories, that when you're gone, and it IS a when, because you're an old man who's constantly complaining about his health, he's going to be fending for himself all alone.

It's pretty obvious, then, why Joris would put Kerubim on a very high pedestal and, as will be shown later, prioritize the man's feelings over his own. Kerubim is his best friend, his role model, provider, guardian, AND the only one family member he has.

Besides depending on him, Joris knows papycha is a very, very lonely and sad person, — and who is he, not to try and make the life of the one person, who's most important to him, better?

If Kerubim isn't always happy, both in general and with Joris, then that's the worst thing ever, and if Kerubim isn't amazing, all-capable, and Not Going To Die Within The Next Couple Of Years Due To Being Old As Fuck, then their life is Over.

So Joris has to put in a lot of work.

This analysis isn't even picking apart the nitty-gritty of Kerubim being an orphan and having abandonment issues, or the way those things make him latch onto Joris the same way Joris latches onto him — as if this child is his Only Hope and Savior, Who Won't Leave Him Like All The Others.

And how that might lead to him REALLY liking Joris idealizing and putting him on a pedestal, despite the guilt he might feel knowing that that's kind of a... not-good parenting tactic.

...Man this post isn't even a rewatch liveblog anymore, it's just an analysis post, innit? 💀

[the-pink-baphomet1861]

Some Alexia Ashford headcanons? I read you had the ask box open and I am always interested in the headcanons and opinions of hardcore Ashford fans.

Thanks for the ask! I have a lot of thoughts about her, lots and lots of thoughts. I an microwaving her in my brain.

Both she and Alfred were born on December 13, 1971

Despite being able to hide it better, she is just as much of a sadist as her brother and relishes the terror she can cause, it’s even something of a bonding activity between them

The extent of Alexander’s genetic manipulation is actually rather limited. He believed that because they were created from Veronica, they would inherit her supposedly superior skills and intelligence as well, with only Alexia displaying the characteristics he was looking for.

She cannot cook to save her life. She usually relies on servants to do it for her, and considers it beneath her. Even if she did, the results would probably be less than edible.

Alexia never really had any friends or peers growing up. She progressed so quickly through her education that she never had the time to form any relationships and the work environment at umbrella was competitive at best and outright hostile at worst, especially considering her age. The only people who have been with her throughout her life are her brother and her father. 

Despite this, Alexia can be rather sociable, or at least put up a front. She knows exactly what to say and how to say it in order to get what she wants from others, but if it doesn’t work, then she has no problem switching to viciously insulting them in an attempt to force them to do what she wants.

Her relationship with her father was distant, he taught her and her brother sometimes, gave them his expectations, but he otherwise just observed from afar, only congratulating her on her studies and otherwise hardly talking to them otherwise, with the exception of expensive gifts for her, which mostly consisted of dolls and research equipment. Alexia doesn’t care much for the dolls, and usually just gives them to Alfred, who adores them, but she is glad for the research equipment, as it helps with her studies most of the time.

With the only other constants in her life being her distant father and exhausting studies, her devoted brother, Alfred, is something that brings her great joy. He always plays with her when she has a break and supports her whenever she needs it. Alexia cares very deeply about her twin, probably the only person that truly genuinely cares for unconditionally, but it’s still not an equal relationship. At best, she sees him as a fun pet that does what she says when she says it and at worst as a cherished toy, an object that she can play around with. Even though it’s unconditional, it’s still an unequal and toxic relationship where Alexia is the sole focus and Alfred is a devoted yes man for everything she thinks, does, or says.

She did most of her university learning remotely from the Antarctic base, sending in essays through letters and discussing with teachers through phone calls. This was done partially to keep her safe from the possible dangers of university life, but also so Alexander could keep a close eye on what she was researching.

Her obsession with ants started when one of the classes she was attending had an ant farm that was used for research, which she grew fascinated with. Once Alexia left the school, she requested an ant farm of her own in the Antarctic base, which she took care of herself and intensely studied, growing more and more fascinated the more she observed and learned, even writing her thesis on them. Alfred took care of it when she was away for school, but once she went into stasis and Alfred was placed on Rockfort, it slowly wasted away.

Once she graduated from university, Alexander wasted no time in putting her in charge of the Antarctic facility. She wasn’t a very good boss on account of her being incredibly forceful and strict and also being a literal child, but she did get results, and that was what mattered to umbrella and Alexander.

The discovery of their origins is what started her belief that she was destined to become queen of all life. She had always been self absorbed, but learning that she had been made in a lab is what caused it to spiral into a complete god complex.

Alexander might have been her first human subject, but she had already begun testing on lab mice as well as the ant colony and enormous plant that she commands after emerging from her pod. Most of the lab mice died, either from toxic compounds building up in their bodies or spontaneous combustion, but one did survive the mutations, and became the basis for her experiments on Alexander. The mouse eventually gained super intelligence and became DIJ.

Prior to her hibernation, she had to cut her hair and nails to an extremely low length to prevent them from growing to long as she slept, especially considering the extreme amount of chitin her body would be producing.

The T-veronica virus was what allowed her to survive the cryogenic process, which would normally be lethal, by producing heat that prevented her cells from freezing completely while it integrated into her genome.

She froze herself on her birthday, and would have been annoyed with Alfred’s tardiness had he not been dying at her feet.

She placed Alfred in the pod with the intent to revive him with the T-veronica virus, as he had yet to fully die. (I’ve even done a few drawings of my concept for what a T veronica infected Alfred would look like.)

The reason Alexia even bothers with capturing Steve and Claire is both because of revenge and because she believes she’s already won at this point and that nothing can stop her.

The enormous anthill beside her pod had multiple functions. The first was to store the growing veronica plant so she could control it in the future, and so that the veronica infected ants would slowly develop beside her. Once their development was complete, they would be capable of producing the same virus they were infected with, allowing her to infect the world.

The complete symbiosis with the T-veronica virus, especially due to the fact that it happened during what would normally have been puberty, has caused her to mutate to the point that she can no longer be considered human. In fact, her human guise is little more than a thin outer layer that can easily be burned away with little difficulty, and her internal anatomy is only human in the barest sense possible 

She experimented on Steve in order to test her own strain of virus and its controlling effects on another human and as revenge for his part in Alfred’s death, and intended on doing the same to Chris as further punishment for Claire. 

Her transition into her first form involves both the burning of the outer layer and the rapid growth of plantlike vines across her body, these vines are connected to her circulatory system and allow her to spew both flammable blood and toxins. In about a week, these growths will recede and the outer layer will begin to regrow, until in about a month, she will be able to pose as a human.

Alexia’s second and third form are much trickier, the second form is the result of both the destabilization of the virus and her own rage. Most of her lower body has swollen into a massive plantlike mass with three openings that spawn small malformed creatures, suggesting that most of the mass is likely her mutated womb. Her upper body can only be recognized as formerly human by her face and general shape, becoming something that more resembles a monstrous ant queen or dragonfly covered in plantlike growths. As this form sustains damage, it slowly begins to degrade both from the gunfire and the immense amount of energy it takes to spawn her creatures. Eventually, Alexia separates from her lower half and begins flying about, with a long tail connected to her abdomen that was most likely part of her spine. Her regenerative powers were far to active for just gunfire to take down, so the linear launcher was required to use enough energy to finally destroy her. She might have been able to revert back to her humanoid form, but that would be unlikely.

She has never once spoken to William Birkin and doesn’t even know he exists.

[sugutoad]

matchup trade for @lady-of-endless  !

ATTACK ON TITAN MATCHUP

Significant Other

I ship you with… Reiner Braun — The Armored Titan. I wholly believe that he is a person who will balance out your more introverted, colder demeanour with his loud persona and even louder heart. He understands your need to appear without any flaws, always leaning a shoulder for you if you ever need to. While most people prefer Reiner with a more timid character, I think someone with almost equal confidence could balance him out. 

RUNNER UPS: Hange Zoe and Jean Kirschtein

HEAD CANONS

Reiner Braun is a man who knows that he should never rely too heavily on anyone especially when in the cruel world they live where lives are taken again and again and he can not do anything about it. And yet, when all his feelings are bottled up and his thoughts shoved at the back of his head, he wants to go to you. You were a new doctor he had met after coming back to Marley and when you took him as your patient, he found it so easy to let everything out to you. You never judged him nor laughed. You just nodded your head and listened quietly. He quickly came to realise that no matter what, he could rely on you and you would always stay. You help him reach the inner parts of his soul, the small fragments of peace he still had left and bring it out.

After three months of not seeing him, your paths finally intertwined while you had been looking for flowers. While digging through your wallet to get out the money at the side for your new bouquet, the store owner came to you, handing you the bouquet for free? You were baffled at this. And your confusion didn’t get any better when the owner replied that a man had bought you the bouquet. Looking around, you saw him again with brown twinkling eyes and a little smile as he waved at you. After that, you bought him lunch and it slowly began a thing for the two of you to eat lunch with one another. And as time went on, your relationship had also developed into something new. 

He is so consumed by you. A single glance at you makes him forget all his problems for you are all he needs. Whenever he takes you on a date, he almost never chooses anything for himself, but what you choose to do. He will hold on to your hand while you walk endlessly for hours, talking along the way in hushed tones and soft giggles (with an occasional snort). He would later take you stargazing and buy you a new set of bouquet every time. He would be those boyfriends who take one flower out of the bouquet and keep it at home, so they know when the flowers die and you are in need of a new set. 

At night when the two of you are in the comfort of your bed, he would hold on to you tightly, rubbing circles on your back or tracing the tattooed crescent, while kissing your head until you are asleep. He would kiss your forehead, then the tip of your nose, then your beauty mark and finally your lips, worshipping every subtle feature on your body. And when you are asleep, he would count the freckles on your face to help him fall asleep. He is definitely an early riser, so whenever you wake up, he has a whole breakfast ready and set on the table. 

The memory of you is etched in his head, from your sweet smell and your blonde hair. He would so love the height difference between you because Reiner himself is quite a big man and you look so tiny next to him! It’s so adorable.

I just know Gabi would love you! You're her cousin’s girlfriend and you are literally the coolest and have a tattoo? She literally spoke with you once and decided that she would want to be you. So when you date Reiner, be fully prepared for a 10 year old kid following you everywhere and mimicking whatever you do in an attempt to be more like her role model. 

[magnusmodig]

||. was browsing through tags of a comic thor post and found this beauty in someone's tags:

i love the acknowledgement of odin as a godking above father & how that’s hurt thor not just loki

obviously, I won't name the person's reblog on this blog but it's something I've always felt is largely true about the mcu odinfam situation, particularly where the father and the boys are involved.

Odin's parenting style (being strict, and the all-father above just a father), hurt Thor just as much as Loki. They were both hurt by their parents and especially in vying for their father's approval. (aka: his affections, because really any child desperate for their parent's attention, approval, pride is really just craving unconditional love.) People seem hard pressed to believe that this sort of pain was exclusive to Loki... which I fundamentally don't understand. (Need I remind everyone that Odin didn't just say "you're unworthy to call yourself a king and a hero bc you're being selfish in your ambitions"... which is true. He also got a good, walloping "you are unworthy of the loved ones you have betrayed" TO HIS FACE before being stripped of his powers and banished to some backwater planet for an indefinite amount of time...)

The reality of the situation is Loki always had Frigga to lean on, confide in, and be in his corner. Even if it was off-screen, truth is that he told Frigga what he learned about being a Frost Giant the first chance he got. He confided in her his worry for Odin's health ("i never get used to seeing him like this"). She actively expresses support and validation in front of him in a way that Loki at least positively acknowledges even if he doesn't always receive the words, and while I don't believe Thor wouldn't have gained the same solace from his mother, I am of the opinion - based on (this deleted scene from "THOR") in particular - that she would give support in the same way she would with Loki ... and it never landed with Thor. Because Thor is not Loki. And Frigga doesn't always know how to speak to Thor so Thor can hear her.

So, really at the end of the day, whether it was true or not, Thor only had himself to emotionally rely on. Coupled then with being primarily under the express tutelage of an extraordinarily strict father who was priming Thor to uphold his own legacy, (apparently not be anything like Hela despite the two kids being polar opposites) and 'never seek out war but must always be ready for it' and then you get a sentiment that ultimately can be summarized in Thor's words at the end of Dark World when he comments his reason for surrendering his birthright of his own volition: "I would rather be a good man than a great king." (which, sidebar, but I am entirely convinced is Thor commenting on his father's way of ruling, his father's way of parenting, his father's way of being. And quite frankly, no, I don't think the real Odin would ever let Thor give up his birthright to go live on Earth when Odin is old, dying, and the whole of Asgard is primed and ready to follow Thor as their new All-Father.)

alt., in the words of comic!thor his (extremely mixed) opinion of Odin:

"A hard god, my father, but one who would move heaven and earth for his children. And did , quite literally, on many occasions. From Odin, I learned command. I learned the ways of the worlds and the godly arts of war."

[cycat4077]

Fargo S5 E4: Insolubilia - Notable moments :)

Just some of the immediate things that popped into my head.

Spoilers under the cut!

I love love loved the opening scene! The Jack Skellington mask was so eerie and creepy. Joe Keery's movements with it, as well, made it feel as though Gator really was this calculating predator hunting its prey. Plus, the camera angles and lighting really built suspense. Usually in horror scenes it's over-the-top and they are relying on the anticipation of jump scares. But the opening scene really made the fear feel real.

Dot. This poor woman... Her looking back on her burning house was absolutely tragic. Juno Temple really conveyed through just her eyes how Dot felt like everything she had wanted and built for herself was slipping away. Dot wants to live happily with her family in a warm, cozy house. Yet she watched it all burn, and you could feel her pain. Plus the scene where she climbs into the hospital bed with her husband further drove that pain home. She was literally clinging to the one thing that had made her feel normal and loved for 9 years (besides her daughter, of course). Yet, even that was slipping away given that her past had caused him to get hurt (with permanent memory loss?).

The exchange between Gator and Dot is SO interesting. There's history there! Dot should have immediately been on the offense against him, yet she called him out. In previous episodes, we had Gator refer to her as Dot despite him knowing her real name. There seems to be some respect/care there deep down on both sides.

The timeline doesn't support Gator being Nadine/Dot's son - she's in her 30s and he's at LEAST in his 20s - but that also means that Gator would have grown up with Dot around for at least part of his life. She likely took on a mother-like role to him in some capacity. It's going to be really interesting to see if Dot will be able to find the soft Gator that the director eluded to (and that the Jack Skellington imagery eludes to) and help him turn his life around for the better.

The scenes with Ole Munch absolutely make my skin crawl, but his monologue in the bathtub was actually really powerful. Especially the part where he says that as soon as the people who are used to getting everything they want can't have something, they claim they have lost their freedom. (I'll leave it at that ^.^)

FINALLY confirmation that TWO of Roy's wives were MIA. I've had this theory since the first two episodes that Gator's mom had gone missing. Roy likes his wives young and submissive. Based on Dot/Nadine, as soon as those wives want control of their lives, Roy retaliates. I assume it is no different for his first wife which has to be Gator's mom. I've had it in my head that Gator witnessed his mother's murder as a boy but Roy has conditioned him ever since to believe that it was either an accident or deserved. I can't wait until more backstory is revealed!

Speaking of Roy...my goodness. I have never really watched anything where Jon Hamm had a major role before but I can definitely see why so many people praise his acting. Roy's last scene was so cold and calculating. It is such subtle acting and it's brilliant! We really got to see how evil Roy is and it was beautifully acted.

And because I find Gator to be such an interestingly layered character, I also loved to see his reaction to what Roy had done at the end. When he walked in, for a moment, he was no longer the tough guy, unphased by hurting others. There was a moment of shock and potentially disapproval on Gator's face when he saw the man writhing and slowly dying. I think it was a moment of "woah, did my father actually do that?" however, it was quickly replaced by turning that concern towards Roy. I like to think that the delivery of that scene hinted at the conditioning that Gator underwent during his upbringing to always put his father and his father's intentions as top priority.

We'll see how it all continues to unfold, but for someone who has never watched any previous seasons of Fargo, I'm absolutely loving the writing, acting and filming of the whole thing :)