#esp if those things can be fixed or healed in time. its.

[scalproie]

@zenyamin HELL YEAH I DO

Put them under a readmore bc even if I streamline their needlessly complicated lore, its still A Lot.

First group is bunch of miscellaneous vehicons left behind on earth after every cybertronian went home to cybertron, and they kinda stumble upon the enigma of combination, making them into a combiner. You have:

Jam (as in "Traffic Jam", vehicon, head)

TR-135 (vehicon, right arm (turn into blaster))

Overburden (miner vehicon, left arm (turn into a drill))

Ringer (eradicon (the flying ones), left leg)

Lacet (silver eradicon, right leg)

When combined theyre not very powerful but their strength resides in their crazy resiliance. They fight monstrous manifestations of Unicron who wanted to take advantage of the fact that every cybertronian allegedly left earth to plan his grand return by wiping out every living thing on his surface. He named them "Cannon Fodder".

Second group has a whole lore and setting so hold on:

Bots and Cons on hell moon

So it all starts with a decepticon scientist named Spin Glass who worked his entire life on one (1) project which is to create his own Emberstone after the one from Quintus Prime, Megatron recruited him back at the start of the war but after the severe lack of any result, he eventually send him to a very remote and hostile moon with a bunch of decepticon nobodies so he could get him outta his hands.

Eventually Optimus and the autobots came to know about the existence of said moon and the decepticon team on it so he send an equal bunch of autobot nobodies to keep the cons there in check.

The two teams came into contact and started fighting just as Spin Glass' Emberstone came to completion and its activation resulted in two things:

It destroyed the transmission tower of the moon, stranding the two teams there until its either restored and they can send a distress signals to their respective sides, or until someone from the decepticon or autobot gets worried about the lack of news from the moon teams (this will not happen)

Everybody acquired a power from a specific Prime, split into two for each side:

Spin Glass (con) and Quick-fix (bot) got Quintus Prime's magno-telekinesis and are able to channel Spin Glass' Emberstone to heal their allies.

Spin Glass is the leader of the decepticon team and the main scientist, he tries to keep his new god complex and his frustration about the stupidity of everyone on this moon, esp his team he has to relunctantly fix, in check, but to his credit he is arguably the strongest cybertronian there.

Quick-fix is the autobot team's medic, her magno-telekinesis is honestly nothing compared to Spin Glass', but she doesnt let it get to her (it pisses her off so bad). She can channel the Emberstone much better and from almost anywhere tho, and it had made her an incredible healer.

Tideturner (con) and Perihelion (bot) each got one half of Prima's Star Saber.

Perihelion is the leader of the autobot team and refuses to admit she might be a little out of her depth, and her denial is fueled by the need to prove her worth. She is by far the better swordmaster here and has a better handling of her half of the Star Saber.

Tideturner is a con soldier who loves challenges but hates defeat, he's a very sore loser and an even more infuriating winner.

Pulstar (con) and Pharos (bot) have a mild control over time and space that they got from Vector Prime, they use it to reach incredible speed.

Pulstar knew Spin Glass the longest and is the closest thing he might have to a friend if Spin Glass had any of those. Pulstar has something Spin Glass severely lacks: enormous charisma, and bc of that, Pulstar is on somewhat good terms with everyone on his team and is the major reason why it hasnt imploded yet. He's the unofficial SiC.

Pharos is a regular bot soldier and ever since hes had those powers, he's obsessed with finding out its limits, like lightspeed.

Balefire (con) and Aphelion (bot) can make clouds of the paralyzing toxin that was in Liege Maximo's liegian darts.

Aphelion is the "spark sister" of Perihelion and the autobot team's SiC. She is very worried and insecure about having received the power of the most treachorous Prime and what it could mean for the relationship between her and her sister/team.

Balefire used to be the most nobody of nobodies con soldiers and his new powers got to his head VERY fast.

Makeshift (con) and Presage (bot) gained the ability to transform into anybody effortlessly just like Amalgamous Prime.

Makeshift (yes that one) was already a shifting spy before this ordeal but with a lot of technical setbacks, so this new development and power made their job EXPONENTIALLY much easier. They have BY FAR the best handling of their new power out of anyone on the moon, including Spin Glass. They are even able to manifest Amalgamous' scythe seemingly out of nowhere.

Presage used to be an actor pre-war before having to join the autobot's side. Thanks to his new power, he is very excited to be able to flex his acting muscles and fool those uncouth cons into provinding intel for his team.

Short Fuse (con) and Atomizer (bot) inherited Alchemist Prime's lenses that allows them to see incredibly far, but also to scan for hidden energon, to see thru walls for a bit, and to see through Presage and Makeshift's disguises.

Atomizer (yes that one) is the one who is the most pissed about being stranded on this moon, and the godly powers he received are barely compensation, but he does have to admit that he is a much more deadlier archer/sniper now. Perihelion has to butter him up about him one of the most vital member of this team. He has a particularly active rivalry with Makeshift.

Short Fuse is the con sniper and he FUCKING HATES people. He will spend almost the entirety of the fights in a completely different location shooting bots from far away. Outside of fights he almost hides away in his own base and WILL physically attack you if you come near him. He tolerates Pulstar a bit.

Snap Out (con) and Coil (bot) are able to make almost any invention possible thanks to Solus Prime's power.

Coil was very happy to be a nobody bot during the war bc he hates violence and has a severe self-esteem problem. He uses his new power almost exclusively to create defensive devices to help his team. Spin Glass is particularly interested in him bc outside of himself, Coil is the only one able to fix the transmission tower.

Snap Out was the one who was most mentally affected by getting her power, she creates exclusively weapons for herself and treat them as if they were alive, calling herself their "mother". Despite that, they break very quickly and she has no grief over it. Spin Glass refuses to work with her bc he thinks she's crazy.

Sidewinder (con) and Stormweaver (bot) had their alt-mod upgraded into mythical creatures to reflect Onyx Prime. They can access aspects of his triptych mask, with the exception of mournsong.

Sidewinder can now turn into a western dragon with a lot of firepower. Out of the three aspects of the mask, the one he uses the most is predator and he now bases his new personality around the hunt. Sometimes he refuses to go back to his robot alt-mode. His team thinks he's cringe.

Stormweaver can now turn into an eastern dragon with lightning control. Out of the three aspects of the mask, the one he uses the most is farsight, and he mostly does it to try and predict the very hostile weather of the moon.

Lift Off (con) and Hardwire (bot) got the strength, arsenal and general tankiness of Megatronus Prime. They also have limited access to the requiem blaster and are mostly fighting for control over it.

Hardwire is the ONLY ONE out of the 18 bots on the moon to have a little admiration for the moon they're on. He secretly documents the environment around him. He is the main pillar of support for his team and is likely the one reason they don't all lose it.

Lift Off is a mean girl in the body of a massive tank. She thinks very high of herself and has now the power to back it up. She WILL try to get a rise out of people just to see what happens, Pulstar's the only one who's immune to it.

SO THAT'S THE FULL TEAMS.

They mostly fight over the transmission tower, as the first one to hold onto the position and fix it will be the one who'll be able to first call their faction's leaders. Usually when a team make a little bit of progress on it, the other team come destroy it.

They COULD work together to fix it but Spin Glass wants to rub his scientific success rrrrrreally hard in Shockwave's face and Perihelion wants to show Optimus that she can be an Autobot team leader hero without help from anybody.

When they're not fighting over the transmission tower or in other various locations, they're fighting against the moon itself that seems even more hostile than before ever since Spin Glass activated his Emberstone, so now the moon throws at them storms, meteors, energon blackouts, and other deadly stuff they might even have to work together to survive.

And if you read all this and think "hey wait a minute isnt that..." you would be 100% right and it is 100% on purpose

Now what are YOUR tf OCs 🫵

[beevean]

I will always feel sense of amusement when something is trying super hard to be dark and gritty, only to unintentionally give the villain/s a really goofy looking character design. Kind of hard for me to feel intimidating by your villains, when Drolta is wearing those stupid horsey hoof heals and has Pepto Bismol hair in her succubus form, and Erzsebet looks like she belongs in a children's fairytale book. If they're going to make their characters not only look goofy, but stick out like a broken thumb in a setting that's supposed to take place during the French Revolution, they might as well go full ham with the silly shit that the N64 game/s did, and add in motorcycle riding skeletons with machine guns and Frankenstein's monster with a chainsaw. But that would make things more entertaining, and Netflix Castlevania can't allow fun because it's so serious and grown up.

You nailed it. NFCV and Nocturne have this pretentious air about it, like they want to be serious and gritty and dark and gory and about real life topics (esp Nocturne with its slavery theme). But while NFCV commits to the point that everything is as straight-laced as it could be (except when it comes to piss jokes, the height of humor), Nocturne is just goofy, but still in an unintentional way.

Again, may I just.

The games have their goofy side, but it comes from an affectionate place, if that makes sense. SoTN is a game about the weight of one's family legacy, and at the same time you can make Alucard toss a peanut in the air to catch it in his mouth. CoD is a game about the cycle of revenge and the downward spiral you can fall in, and at the same time Hector can sit on a toilet at the bottom of a lake and Isaac has the best character design of all time. PoR is generally a silly game, and even then it has themes of broken families, Jonathan grieving his father and Brauner grieving his daughters... all while you defeat Memory Richter by throwing dark pies on his face.

The tonal dissonance is intended, and calibrated to not be jarring. It's fun. CV is a fun, campy series at its core, even during its 2000s shonen era! That's why the shows fail: they think that campiness is just childish silliness to be fixed for a "mature" audience.

[star-ocean-peahen]

you know what really gets my goat?? when people who care about someone in their life with a disability or chronic illness act like they have a more accurate perspective of the person's needs than the ill or disabled person does. esp if the methods the disabled or ill person is using would be overly lenient or too "nice" for a healthy person.

like oOoOoO yeah i get it im on a screen all the time thats not a good thing but since i can go months without a single moment where i feel like i can do things that matter or succeed with the goals i set for myself i feel like maybe the screen is not the problem here. and NO going screen-free for a week will not fix me. i know thats your favorite solution for the Youth's problems but. ugh. i thought that having a bunch of fancy words to wave in people's faces would stop all these well-meaning but shortsighted solutions but nooo "i have depression and anxiety and anemia and chronic fatigue" still gets me the same. they have no idea what it feels like to search for healing. its like they think your only options are going to the doctor or eating and sleeping and going outside and socializing and not using your phone and if you're not doing those things then you're not trying your best to get better. i mean thats kind of uncharitable ig because my extended family is only saying those things because they don't have any experience with this stuff and they're willing to learn but. it still hurts.

and it makes me so tired to try to dodge the demonization that comes with being sick for a long time. you always have to be trying your hardest and doing everything that could possibly help but only in the Right way and with the Right methods. and if you're not it feels like other people assume that you are no longer capable of taking care of yourself and that's their job now. like no, fuck off, i may not be able to take care of myself very well, but i still have the right to say who i trust with my wellbeing, thank you very much.

its just. theyre getting better. i just wish i didnt have to be the one to educate them.

[thegirlwhotalksaboutherlife]

Hello, Its been awhile I havent updated my blog. How is life anyway? Life has been…tough and fun at the same time. It has its ups and downs which I dont mind about it. I do have those days where I could cry til I get better. But there are days I feel happy. The thing is crying isnt helping anymore but thats okay. That is all I can do. Something about me is missing… and I just cant find the missing puzzle piece to make my heart feel better. Please Guide me to the right Path My Lord (Aaminn). Im trying my best to heal myself and make myself happy again but i couldn’t at the moment. I feel sad most of the time and sometimes i dont feel sad at all. I dont understand like what do I want? I honestly dont know what I want. My past especially my situation, I cant handle it. Its too much for me to handle it. Sometimes, I feel like Im drowning with sorrows of my past, it keeps crawling back to my life. The feeling guilt is still there. How do I get over this feeling? I am tired… I am tired of thinking especially of my past. I fucking hate it as if I am fuckinh drowning with my past. How the fuck am I supposed to heal and not feeling broken??? Fuck I am trying to live my life. I honestly do want to move on. Who doesnt? I do not love him anymore but I do miss his presence but i dont miss him. This fucking hurts guys. How do I recover myself? I miss the old me. I really am. Sometimes, I broke down into tears that I miss myself. The old me. The old me when I was young, Early 20’s. Fuck this song is so deep and it fucking hurts alot. Why the fuck did I meet this guy. Tinder is not a good app. Fuck me, how am I supposed to be happy again? I just want to be happy. My thoughts filled with sadness and negativity. I just want my positive thoughts back. It makes me really fucking hate myself. I fucking hate myself. I do hate myself. And no, I do not hate myself becus of insecurities. I hate myself becus of what I did, I couldnt believe what I did to someone. I never thought of myself for wrecking someone’s life. It makes me sad to think about it. I keep praying and praying…non stop praying, asking for forgiveness, asking for guiding me to the right path, asking for me to fall inlove again with the right person. I want us both to fall inlove with what Allah SWT shows us. Like how beautiful life is, how beautiful islam is. Islam is a beautiful religion, ever since the incident happened. I’ve been doing alot of research about Islam. How Allah SWT created us. How He showed us to fall inlove with Islam and how He showed us to fall for the right person. I just hope I get to see His Home which is Mecca. The most beautiful place I have ever since on the Internet. I just want to go there and cry my lungs out and fix me esp my broken heart. I just want to ease my mind and heart. That is all I want. I am tired of being broken. I am tired of being sad. I am not going to be sad for the rest of my life and no I do not do self-harm. That is not me, I have to be strong. I know I am a strong person infront of everyone but deep down inside me, I am not as strong as u can see. I cried alot. Once I am getting older, I feel hopeless and I cried alot. I just want to be young again… but I cant turn back the time. I have to move on and live myself. As what Fergie said “Big girls dont cry” haha BIG GIRLS DO CRY ALOT. But that is okay, I mean it is okay to cry. That is the only way for u to feel better. All I want is to ease my heart and mind. That is all I want. Ok that is enough. I wish I could show this blog to anyone but that is okay.

[enderspawn]

listen i may have bad taste but i have bad taste within REASON. they need to invoke pity in me, for starters

[astro211]

Developed vs. Underdeveloped traits

Take this with grain of salt. Its not a full list just small descriptions (mostly for fun) Use Sun  Moon  or Rising.

LIBRA

Developed: They are diplomatic and charming people. They can stand on their own and aren’t scared to disagree with someone, because they know how to do so in a respectful manner, and if that person has an issue with it, its okay because libra knows it’s not their problem to fix. They are be polite but more authentic. Certainly the type you can take home to momma. They can create a true balance between things/people. They easily see things from another’s perspective and are great at collaborating with people. They are wonderfully creative and use their creative and romantic abilities to create beautiful connections with other individuals. Low-key mind readers.

Underdeveloped: Can be way too concerned with finding someone to love/having someone love them. They can be dependent and as a result sacrifice authenticity for company. They don’t create real bonds because they may be too agreeable and lack an opinion becoming a mirror of the person/people they are with. They can struggle with the unfairness of the world. They can be shallow, flirtatious and flakey. struggle with being a door-matt. Lack backbone. They say things they think you want to hear. They deeply fear confrontation and are very avoidant and it can create a bad rep. Generally they may be basic and sooo corny. 

SCORPIO

Developed: Fiercely intelligent and their intuition is like a superpower. They can’t be fooled or its not an easy task. They are able to let things go and welcome the changes that come. They transform into something greater. The Phoenix is often referred to with scorpio/pluto. They have a need to change and transform, so they satisfy this by burning away the useless parts of themselves ~even if it’s most of them~ then they are reborn into what is greater and stronger than before. They can get to the root of things and can make for wonderful artists. They know their power (and boy do they have power) and wield it wisely. Charming babes, very perceptive and don’t have time for BS so they keep it real. 

Underdeveloped: Emo babies. They can be way too edgy and people may have to constantly tip toe around them otherwise risking being attacked. This is because underdeveloped scorpio placements can be paranoid, hypersensitive and perceive anything as a personal attack. They don’t know how to deal with the depths of their emotions, resulting in a hypersensitive edge lord that probably can’t handle any sort of lighthearted joke. They perhaps have yet to chop away at the no longer useful parts of themselves and this can result in a self-destructive nature. I predict a tendency towards the ‘fuck it’ mindset which ultimately fucks them over. Intense but in a manner that pushes people away.

SAGITTARIUS

Developed: Glorious sunshine babies who radiate pure joy and deserve to be beloved by all. (Im a sagittarius so I would know;) ). They are honest. They can see the truth for what it is. Even with the cruel realities of the world but they still remain joyful and optimistic. They know when/how to keep their mouths shut. They’re thoughtful and charming. They can see the bigger picture and how beautiful it is and they share that image with those around them, inspiring themselves and others to aim high. They bring up the moods of those around them. Funny and able to roll with the punches. They are fearless and focused. They work hard and their positive outlooks bring them good luck.

Underdeveloped: Blunt. Their honesty can be very misguided and it can create really awkward situations. They can be sooo laid back that they don’t even care about how they impact those around them or even what happens to themselves (similar to scorpios ‘fuck it’ I’ve seen this with both). They can be hotheaded and stubbornly preachy, insisting their way is the only and right way. They exaggerate often because they haven’t developed their inner storyteller. They procrastinate and escape any difficulties because they don’t know how to handle negativity in life. Their escapist nature can make them flakey. Not the best people to lean on because they’ll vanish esp. if they feel like there is too much responsibility on their shoulders.

CAPRICORN

Developed: These babies work hard and they kick ass! They have unstoppable self-care/ compassion for themselves. They don’t fear failure, instead they use it to their advantage and learn from it. They, like sagittarius, look to the future and can see whats possible and as a result they prepare and are very disciplined as they know hard work pays off. They evaluate people and things and easily can determine who and what is worth their time, and are disciplined about not wasting their time energy or resources. Once they decide someone/thing is worthy they are devoted. They are serious at times but its rooted in practicality. 

Underdeveloped: They can be stubborn and struggle to work well with others. Too prideful. They know what needs to be done and they don’t like the idea of other people getting in their way. They can be very cynical and this may skew their visions of the future, for their prepared nature is meant to help them but this may demotivate them instead if they are plagued by self-doubt. Their cold and bitchy when they shouldn’t be. They can be way to serious and constantly be putting a damper on things. Difficulty being open or vulnerable with anyone. They live life alone because its easier and safer than devoting yourself to someone who may stab you in the back and leave you bleeding in the cold. 

AQUARIUS

Developed: These guys are trend setters. Icons. They don’t need anybody’s approval. They change the world. They bring people together. Fearless when they fight for what they believe in. Nothing can hold them back, stares, words of discouragement; they know what they’re doing and not you nor anybody else can stop them. They’re very intelligent. Compassionate as hell and they really love hard. They are the masters of not giving a fuck. They are visionaries. Great leaders. They do their own thing and yeah they probably stand out and are very capable of influencing those around them. Authentic, cool and unforgettable. 

Underdeveloped: Lone wolf. Extreme in a manner that pushes people away. They have to stand out even if its for negative reasons. They distance themselves from other people. They’re too in their head and just observe instead of live. They might do whatever they can to blend in or people please. They want to be part of a group so much it stops them from being an individual OR they consistently keep people at arms length so they feel disconnected from people, and it fuels the idea they’re just too strange and unique for human connection. They may be very contradictory and confusing.

PISCES

developed: Confident, creative compassionate. These folks can create a whole new world and if you’re lucky you’ll be invited in. They have a healing nature/ their positive energy is intoxicating and brings people up. They take care of themselves; they extend their empathy towards themselves /past present future self/ which enables them to take care of themselves. i.e. forgiving past self to move forward// doing things now to help future self. Pisces high levels of sensitivity can make them rather magical. Fantastic artists. Big hearts.

Underdeveloped: Escapists. Cant handle the world, would rather eat, drink sleep, etc.  They isolate and dream but in a damaging way. The world drains them, perhaps because they have yet to emotionally figure out where they end and the world around them begins. They can take on a victim mentality. Lying is another poor energy this sign might lean into. Deception. Laziness. Hypersensitivity. They really need solid boundaries in order to flourish. sure, we all do but Pisces energy is particularly delicate to the energy around them so esp. for this sign.  Directionless and not fully present. 

Part 2

[bloodbenderz]

Can I ask what your season 1 Lok reboot looks like?

this is about 3k words i checked lmfao dont say i didnt warn u

a key part of the whole thing is that korra gets way more perspectives and more experiences representative of like, normal people in republic city bc i think something that really defined what a good avatar aang was was how many people he met and got to know and how he didnt exclusively or even mostly associate w cops and bureaucrats and leaders. so mako and bolin. well first of all their backstories are a little more fleshed out and we get a less black and white view of the “triads” (lol) and mako and bolin’s experiences w them. cuz the show very much does the whole thing of like Criminals Bad but dont worry even tho mako and bolin did commit crimes theyre not Criminals!! so just a little more nuance on the alleged gang problem and the poverty in the city

korra does start out very naive w very black and white ideas (ex. “you guys are CRIMINALS?”) i think a really good way of developing her away from her sheltered naive worldview is putting her in whats clearly an incredibly complicated city w an absolute cesspool of political conflicts, ethnic tensions, the lasting effects of colonization, etc and having her try and understand the needs of “the people” in a more complicated way than “i have to save the good guys from the bad guys” ykwim? and i think the absolute WORST way to do that is what they did. bc we get mako and bolin who could contribute genuinely compelling thematic elements to the story: one parent who was indigenous and one who was from a colonizer background in the decades directly following the end of the war, kids who grew up in poverty apparently without any familial support, and who now are trying to be “respectable” members of society (especially mako). and then most of that is pretty much tossed aside bc asami swoops in w her capitalist dad and her piles of money and the class issue is just never talked about again.

so the way i’d fix all that is like. introducing more, like, normal people. some nonbenders, more workers, more immigrants, etc, to show what daily life is actually like for people. because. we dont know! we dont have any context about whether the nonbender oppression thing is actually an issue bc we dont KNOW any nonbenders with normal lives! and spoiler: the nonbender oppression thing is not an issue. bc it doesnt make historical sense. lok is set 7 decades after the end of the war. that is not by ANY stretch of the imagination long enough to heal from the scars of imperialism, ESPECIALLY not when lok is also set in a settler colonial state. like that fact should have featured PROMINENTLY in the political and social setting! realistically, nonbenders arent an oppressed class, earth and water nation people are, regardless of bending status! as in all settler colonial states, the colonizers and their descendants (in this case fire nation people) retain most of the financial and political capital, leaving the colonized and racialized immigrants (in this case earth kingdom and water tribe people respectively) generally impoverished and politically suppressed. like aside from the fact that theres no way toph would have become a cop, it’s so ridiculous to think that an established privileged class of fire nation colonizers would EVER accept being policed by earthbenders!

imagine how much more nuanced and interesting it would be to set republic city as a remnant of a colonial past still fraught w the violence and tension that colonialism and the associated ideology imposed?? instead of some vague ideas of criminal who wear 1920s outfits and harass shopkeepers think about why extralegal and violent groups like that might form! earth kingdom people trying to push for the reclamation of their land? ethnic groups protecting themselves against corrupt cops? ESPECIALLY w the history that the fire nation has of SPECIFICALLY jailing and killing earthbenders and waterbenders BECAUSE of the potential they have to resist against fire nation imperialism like it just makes no sense at all that earthbenders would be privileged on land that, 70 years ago, they would have been imprisoned on! like these various paramilitary groups falling along these different ideological or ethnic lines, fire nation or earth kingdom or water tribe, pro colonization or anti colonization, pro cop or anti cop, pro immigrant or anti immigrant, and then you juxtapose that w depictions of a govt thats failing to keep this all under control w tenzin trying desperately to keep it together despite the fact that it’s becoming increasingly obvious that the state has no interest in taking the conflicts seriously and would rather just point vague fingers at criminals and gangs? and THEN you bring in korra, who has no idea about any of this and thinks that all its gonna take is kicking some ass every couple days, meeting normal people who offer all kinds of different opinions abt the efficacy of the state and the different violent or nonviolent groups and ideologies clashing in the city and the way all this shit is affecting people’s lives and livelihoods and relationships w other citizens??

theres so much good shit there so many incredible things u could do w that like Where do we go after colonial atrocities? is it possible for a settler colonial state to take revolutionary or indigenous ideas seriously? is liberal reform enough in a state like this? and then all the growth that korra could do going from a simple black and white life about mastering the elements to this messy complicated sociopolitical knot of a city? and all the different kinds of characters u could introduce in this city? like why would u EVER think that the most interesting characters that this story has to offer is a police chief a congressman and a billionaire????

but anyways. that’s what the Setting of my idealized version of lok is. as for the actual plot, it is as follows

it starts out similarly as the show. republic city is MUCH more fraught w political tension and violence and korra knows this but assumes that it’s just a matter of throwing a few gang leaders and corrupt officials in jail. tenzin manages to come see them in the south pole and intends give korra real lessons while he’s there but they receive news of a terrorist attack in republic city only a few days after he gets there so his family has to pack up and leave again.

korra stows away to republic city (katara catches her leaving and gives her blessing im a SUCKER for that moment). she does have a hard time adjusting but she doesn’t do what she did in the show lol the first person she meets in the city is this older woman who works on the docks, directs her to a place where she can eat and gives her a roof to sleep under for the first night. so korra’s first exposure to republic city is just about forming connections w ordinary people like ship workers and a family owned restaurant and people practicing their bending in the park. and by the time she reaches air temple island a day or so later her head is spinning w all this new information and the way that nothing is really what she expected it to be. tenzin gives her his own perspective on everything and pema gives her her own perspective on everything and even those two seem wildly different from all the people she’s already met. and so korra starts to get a kind of outline of the conflicts plaguing the city as extremely complex and a lot more influenced by older ideas of fire nation imperialism and earth kingdom land reclamation than she had any idea about.

mako and bolin are still pro benders but not like. super famous like they are in the show. korra’s picked up a couple friends by now and one of them takes her to a gym where a lot of amateur pro bending (is that an oxymoron? lol) matches happen and thats how she meets mako and bolin and joins their pro bending team. Unfortunately for korra, this gym is run by lin beifong, and also has the distinction of being one of the most notoriously anti settler state organizations in the country. lin beifong is NOT a cop but she runs this gym (and the pro bending league) as a way to offer support to local earth kingdom/water tribe youth, teach self defense skills, a center of community organizing, and sometimes to act as a front to hide revolutionary/combat organizing against the pro fire nation paramilitaries/police force. tenzin is DISTRAUGHT that korra does this and this is where the friction btwn them comes from bc (from tenzin’s perspective) she does things like this without thinking or even fully understanding the context behind them and tenzin will have to deal w the political fallout of the avatar openly aligning herself w a very divisive figure in the community and (from korra’s perspective) tenzin is too unwilling to take sides in a conflict that’s claiming lives and when the state is clearly not taking sufficient steps to protect people well then why the hell shouldnt she align herself w lin beifong, who IS taking steps to protect and support people?

as korra more fully integrates herself into the city and learns more abt how different people think abt everything going on this is where the real exposition abt the equalists begins. they’re a paramilitary group w an ideology thats gaining increasing support among middle/upper class fire nation people, esp nonbenders. on the face theyre abt putting checks on “bender oppression” but really it’s an excuse to persecute and surveil earthbenders waterbenders and airbenders, bc fire nation people have all this leftover fear about benders who arent fire nation Rising Up Against them and these people who r using their Savage Excuse for Bending to terrorize good innocent (fire nation) people. theres all too frequent terrorist attacks that the equalists claim credit for mostly against monuments to earth/water/air nation people and earth/water nation community centers (one like it was the event that forced tenzin back to republic city) but also like the govt doesnt take a lot of these seriously or if they do only a couple people are charged without doing damage to the entire organization

this is also around the time that they meet asami and she becomes part of their friend group. asami likes pro bending but her dad HATES it so she sneaks out to watch matches at lin beifong’s gym (korra says ironically like don’t u know how ~divisive~ that is and asami answers that the only reason its Not divisive is that gyms like beifongs are the only place where nobody recognizes her). and asami alongside korra is also kind of developing a more nuanced perspective on the city that she lives in cuz obviously the only worldview she’s ever been exposed to is her father’s right? and she keeps pushing it off making excuses not to bring mako and bolin and korra around to her house or even not to be seen w them in certain neighborhoods until they call her on it and she’s like Well honestly my dad might do something awful to u! and i dont wanna risk it!

and as time goes on we see more abt asami’s home life like her father’s hyper conservative politics and asami keeps these secrets abt her hobbies and her friends from him but she’s still clearly under his influence and mako bolin and korra r getting increasingly worried abt it cuz like...asami seems to tend to make excuses for him so that she wont have to be drawn into conflict and originally they think its just her being privileged and thats def part of it but the more they find out abt it the more they realize what a tight fucking grip he has on her and the way that like. asami sneaking out once or twice a week is the Only thing she does for herself. and it really starts freaking them out how influential this billionaire is and all the information theyre getting from asami abt what a piece of shit he clearly is. and so that whole plot thing comes about and shows us how deeply embedded these “equalist” ideas are in conservative republic city politics and how much influence theyre actually having in policy making and law enforcement.

asami suffers in the aftermath of this like being forced to truly confront the harm her father is doing both to the city and to herself. and she ends up leaving home when this discovery really breaks. but bc of the deep corruption in govt and police sato isn’t really....dealt with? like this big story breaks and everyones like Oh, My God! Hiroshi Sato Is Funding An Illegal Paramilitary Group! and theres all kinds of inane political discourse about it and he’s arrested but he bails himself out immediately and his finances are examined but he maintains control over them and after a few weeks the gang (bc they Have become close among all this w much less interpersonal drama lol) has to admit that this news story hasnt done what they thought it was going to it hasn’t dealt the equalists a real hit its just given them a very high profile ally

and this is when things really start to ramp up in terms of action like up until now korra’s daily activities are mostly like hanging around in the city w her friends  (which in part entails doing little avatar stuff that people dont feel comfortable going to police with, like Can you help me my ex husband wont pay child support or Please help i got robbed and i really needed that money for rent next month or Help my son keeps skipping school can you talk to him cuz im worried abt him being safe and doing well in school) and pro bending and airbending lessons (which i know ive neglected this part of the story in terms of her whole spiritual/physical conflict but it’s more of a subtle thing like it’s one of tenzin and korra’s more frequent arguments like tenzin says she needs to focus on spirituality and korra asks why she even needs to bc republic city is a sociopolitical problem not a spiritual one) but now the equalist threat seems to really be looming on every level of society like the storyline of equalists preventing pro bending matches happens here and everyones just at a total loss of what to do next. plus increasing and scary rhetoric about tenzin and his family that destroying the last airbenders is necessary to preserving the integrity of the united republic

and so theres the equalist takeover of the city. the people who are mostly resisting this are lin and ragtag group of people who have been resisting colonial rule for a long time (including suyin, who is part of a communist anti colonial community outside the city, because i said so and i think it would be fun), people who have been visiting her gym for years, members of her amateur pro bending league, plus asami and korra and tenzin. korra and tenzin have a sweet moment (bc they do genuinely care abt each other a lot even if their relationship has been marked w a lot of tension and arguing) where tenzin says like you know i think that ive lost focus on the kind of spirituality that might actually help you. korra says what do you mean? and tenzin kind of gestures to where theyre sitting with people buzzing around organizing to take care of innocents and civilians and to fight the equalists and he says this is a kind of spiritual too, isnt it?

and something something plot plot blah blah i havent decided on the details of the plot climax yet but that’s the climax of korra’s character development and what helps her connect w her spiritual side in order to protect the city: the realization that community is its own kind of spirituality. and it kind of represents the real development that i want her to have going from somebody who thinks that the world is divided into criminals and victims and she has to save the victims Into the kind of avatar who understands the people that she’s bound to serve. she becomes an avatar of the people!

and then happy ending lol korra and asami get together lin and tenzin reconcile after years of being at odds the show ends on a hopeful note that the inhabitants of republic city and the united republic as a whole Can move on from the scars of colonialism by reckoning w the remnants of fire nation colonial ideology and reparations to the earth kingdom people whose land this is and destruction of colonial systems that have maintained and enforced colonial violence all these years

[telesthisia]

(No reblogs! Make a new post please!)

|| The Basics ||

Name: Zelda of Hyrule Nickname(s): Zel, Zellie, Elle, Ellie Age: 19 Species: Human or well Hylian 

|| Personal ||

Religious Belief: The three golden goddess + Hylia but... she’s known as the forgotten goddess in her timeline since certain legends faded away from the public’s knowledge but not at all the royal family’s. Sins: Lust / Greed / Gluttony / Sloth / Pride / Envy / Wrath Virtues: Chastity / Charity / Diligence / Humility / Kindness / Patience /Justice Primary Goals In Life:  To create a brighter future for her people for generations on end, leading to the eventually famed Golden Age before the Hero of Time’s downfall... though Hyrule has recovered once she’s born there are still remnants of ruin from that era as such she wants to protect her people as well as make Hyrule safer, while she doesn’t do it within her lifetime because limited lifespan her dream does still come true years later aka LOZ and LOZ 2 don’t be fooled by the plot, Hyrule was in its prime during those games!  Languages Known:  Hylian Secrets: Well... it’s no secret among her staff but outside the castle, she keeps her poor health (heart condition and undiagnosed rare anemia problem) and near lack of magical stamina a secret since that can put her at a pretty bad disadvantage. She has plenty of enemies, namely those who align themselves with Ganon and the resurrection of him is still possible provided the person is a powerful mage with knowledge of doing that sort of stuff in the first place. And then there’s also court drama she has to worry about but that’s for another long lengthy headcanon post I should have out... soon... ish. Also while obvious with partners and in a meta sense and if you’re super observant but her guise Elle is, in fact, her, the princess of Hyrule so... ye...  Quirks: Her birthmark of the Triforce is... certainly unique. But if we’re talking mannerism rather than physical then allow me to just ramble because hoo boy! When nervous or worked up, she often tucks her stray hairs behind her ears, even when she’s not feeling those emotions she’s always fiddling around with it (in her royal wear) often flipping it out of her face or trying to make it look a little neater. She has the Pendant of Courage, a gift from Link and often clutches on it when she feels the need to summon her courage if she’s feeling not that brave, often trying to recall Link’s courage during his many adventures. When using any of her PSI powers she tends to have a nose bleed, as such, she often carries around a handkerchief and tries to cover it up before going off somewhere to stop the bleeding. When laughing, she likes to hold her smile behind her hand... and when yawning she tries to cover her mouth. SHE IS THE WORST COOK TO EVER EXIST holy crap but can make mean cookies. When flirting (more like embarrassed flirting pft) she looks away to the side and twirls her hair around her finger trying to hide her red cheeks. Her romantic out view on life stems from the fact that she was constantly surrounded by death and history and art so there’s morbid beauty in the melancholy... this girl gets excited over Friday the 13th and samhain ok like... there’s a lot to unpack with that. THERE’S MORE BUT I’VE RAMBLED FAR ENOUGH!!!  Savvies: Well... she bakes pretty good cookies BUT UH!!! YEAH she’s pretty proficient with her light magic! While she can’t do the amazing things other Zeldas can do because of limitations she’s not someone you would want to mess around with. She’s learned to work around those limitations and has great control over her powers. On top of that, she somehow knows how to use a crossbow so :’) while not the light arrows (she’s too weak to wield a bow) and it was a lucky shot she at least knows enough about how it works to fire it in the first place. She reads a lot, even as a kid she’d sneak off to the library to read the history about Hyrule or read maps and well she’s pretty knowledgable about her nation as a whole! And thanks to sneaking out she knows how to sneak past the guards and knows all of the secret passages in her castle like the back of her hand! Can’t forget her amazing political insight and ability to think outside the box! She has pretty innovative ideas for her times esp when concerning the common folk, but sometimes they don’t always go through because well... nobles. 

|| Physical ||

Height: 5′0″  Weight: you never ask a lady her weight! >:0 Scars/Birthmarks:  Has a cat scratch scar on her right palm which is also where the triforce is located! Abilities/Powers: Light magic, as the descendant of the mortal goddess she has been blessed with the Light Force. On top of that she’s come from a line of sages and has the Triforce of Wisdom so as you expect she has so much magic. She can heal, bless your weapons, smite away darkness, sense darkness (As a matter of fact she’s pretty sensitive to it and it makes her lowkey sick if it’s too much) and then there’s her PSI abilities which includes clairvoyance and telepathy! And then... her connection to the spirit realm.  Restrictions: AHAHAHA SO MUCH, she’s a glass cannon which is why she’s so, so, so easy to kidnap in the first place. She may put up a fight but not for long, as such her tactics are always to make a distraction and then escape. But she has poor stamina and just a poor heart, she can’t really overexert herself without a) causing pain and b) passing the hell out which was common in her younger days. Using magic takes up a lot of stamina as shown in ALTTP esp with the more powerful spells, you need an amazing reserve to cast all of that and sadly while she has good control she doesn’t have good reserves. SOOOOOOO to fix this she always has to take medicine of magic. Mana blockage is a thing that can happen, more often than she’d like to admit which causes pain once again and makes using magic pretty hard. Now onto her telepathy and clairvoyance. While they sound useful there are restrictions on those as well, for one with telepathy while she can contact anyone so long as she finds their signature subconscious she doesn’t have to worry about distance too much so long as they are within her range which is... maybe more than 200 meters? I need to think about the range more because there are certain places where she can reach you and cannot but there’s def a range limit. She tends to get nosebleeds and headaches from using telepathy. Her clairvoyance is where she can see bits of the future, but they are very vague and hard to decipher and there’s always a chance of the future changing or not changing. As for her connection to the spirit realm, pretty much she can see dead people... in her dreams and there’s no way of shutting this power off she’s gotta deal with the horrors that is this realm. Now seeing spirits isn’t anything new in LOZ but contact to the spirit realm is something that’s implied that only royal family members can do... as implied by Zelda’s words in BOTW where she said her mom (or grandma??) could hear the voices of the spirit realm.  

|| Favorites ||

Favourite Drink: Rose tea Favourite Pizza Topping: Basil...  Favourite Color:  Blue!  Favourite Music Genre: She pretty much likes slow and relaxing music, piano comes to mind but *kayne shrug* Favourite Book Genre: Romance aHEM as a princess she doesn’t have time to read cheesy romance novels and fantasize about the day where someone riding on a white horse will sweep her off her feet and they ride off into the sunset never having to bear the burden of her heritage and responsibilities hahaha..... but history and folklore. She likes tragic stories that have bittersweet endings.  Favourite Movie Genre: Fantasy, tragic tales, suspense, romance flicks  Favourite Season: Spring Favourite Butt Type:

Favourite Swear Word: "Goodness me!”  Favourite Scent: Forest scent, the fields, that ancient scent you smell when visiting old places, the smell of book pages  Favourite Quote: “Time has stopped for me long ago.”

|| Fun Stuff ||

Bottom or Top:

Sings In The Shower: Yes!!! Well... rose soaked bathwater because she’s spoiled stupid by her castle staff and Impa but she’ll hum a tune here and there!  Likes Bad Puns: Of course! She has the playfully innocent attitude so puns is right up her alley! Morality: Lawful / Neutral / Chaotic / Good / Gray / Evil Build: Slender / Scrawny / Bony / Fit / Athletic / Herculean / Babyfat / Pudgy / Obese / Other. Favourite Food: APPLES!!! Namely baked apples and more importantly apple strudel! Her nation is famous for having delicious apples that can help cure fatigue and even rise up stamina a bit! She’s very much a follower of “an apple a day keeps the doctor away” esp if that doctor keeps giving her bitter medicines.  “Boss” Theme Music :  Excuse me for using a sad track... but... sAD MUSIC HONESTLY SHE’S DEPRESSION PERSONIFIED!! It reflects her hidden melancholy for like everything. I feel like if you have to fight her as a boss it’ll be more of a beautifully sad moment than something epic like that boss fight with puppet zelda which slaps honestly.  Their Opinion On The Mun: “Does she thrive on my pain?”  

Was tagged by: no one

Tag 15 People: wHO EVER WANTS TO DO THIS

[alwaysraineh]

AY BABE! FOR THE FIC WRITER ASKS!!!! #2 #3 #37. I must know... 💖

BABE

THIS IS THE BEST I LOVE YOU 💕💖💝🥰🥰🥰

2.Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

I have three words for you and that is ENEMIES. TO. LOVERS. I’m a big fan of blank to lovers tropes and I’m so so so deeply invested in friends to lovers and it’s honestly pretty much all I write but one day????? God I want to attempt enemies to lovers. Can you imagine?? The tension? The yearning? The pining? The absolute clowning buffoonery and dumbassery??? They think they hate each other but they are in fact in LOVE?????

.... so. yeah there’s that. oh and also coffee shop/flower shop/book shop au?? golden. haven’t attempted those yet but definitely gonna one day (also abo??? honestly really enjoy abo when its done right but my fear of writing it is mainly that it usually seems to be inherently a sex thing?? and i don’t tend to write sex things a lot much less publish them but like.... i have ideas for abo dynamics and idk how to explore that bc abo is viewed as such a sex thing)

3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

Anything to do with non-con/dub-con/incest, etc. I mean that’s dark but like... N.O. thank you. And that’s just on principle, I mean I avoid reading those things as well?? AO3 filters are godsends. I think they can be written tactfully and if it’s something you need to write to process trauma or something like that, go ahead!! I’ve never seen a fic that glorifies any of this (except the fact that I know of several fandoms with incest ships and I just.... *shudder*) which is good!! But it can go the wrong way too quickly and I personally enjoy processing my trauma through other forms of distress!!! I like to think I’d be up for attempting just about any trope as long as it isn’t inherently problematic, though!

37. Talk about your current wips.

Aha you’re calling me out aren’t you?? Yeah so pretty much everything I ever attempt ends up an unfinished wip BUT I SWEAR I’M GONNA FINISH THESE ONES because even if it takes forever I’m actually really into each of these concepts?????

Obviously just breathe (i will stay) is at the top of the list!!! It’s my only published wip that I have every intention of finishing in a (mostly) timely manner and it’s very dear to me in many ways, one of which is (obviously) you!! just breathe is a lot of self-indulgence with taakitz, in which both have ptsd but their trauma manifests differently and they have completely different manners of processing! I’ve got that subplot with the twins that’s honestly a lot of fun to write, esp the idea of nonromantic soulmates (particularly because, while romantic soulmates are fun, I wanted to avoid it entirely in this fic; I don’t want it to be seen as Krav and Taako ‘fixing’ each other’s trauma and love magically healing old hurts. They help each other, yes, and they are very much in love, but there’s no magical fix to ptsd and processing trauma and healing. You have to want it and you have to work at it, and that’s honestly the main theme of this fic, I think). ALSO I PLAN TO WRITE AT LEAST THREE MORE FICS IN THE SAME UNIVERSE because while I never finish things, I am a dirty gremlin who makes worlds that are just slighty too self-indulgent and then I don’t want to leave.

The rest of my wips (that i intend to finish) are unpublished. I want to get them to a point where I feel comfortable enough with their progress that I’m definitely going to finish them before I publish any of them lol but they include:

 - a Geraskier Witcher fic (ft. flowers and dramatic descriptions of Geralt’s eyes and Jaskier thinking, at one point, that Geralt has died)

- a Destiel Supernatural fic (fake relationship!!!! on GOD I’m gonna finish this one because I’ve never written fake dating and it kills me because it’s one of my all-time favorite tropes)

- two Nurseydex Check, Please! fics (one about hockey and sports injuries and realizing just how much people can mean to you; one about missed connections and reunions and heartache and coming to terms with falling in love all over again)

[frankencocksupremacy]

You don’t have to answer this if it’s too personal I was just wondering how did you deal with the negativity/stress around phalloplasty? I’m having it soon and it’s a serious downer hearing both the negative talk from non-op guys and stories from people have regretted surgery (even if that’s rare). I’d appreciate any advice if it’s not too much to ask

i don't mind answering this at all, no worries. this sort of thing has actually been on my mind for a long time and this gives me an excuse to talk about it lol. please note that just because something made me feel better that doesn't mean it'll work for you. we're all individuals and i'm no therapist. also note that i'm still in recovery and my main way of coping with anything heavy is cracking jokes (INCELS STILL WISH THEY WERE ME) so try to take particularly specific things i say with a grain of salt and feel free to toss out whatever advice seems unhelpful. if none of this works for you, i apologize, but maybe someone will find it beneficial.

ANYWAY here's whats been helping me get through my days (i tried to condense it but it ended up being a novel anyway oops):

⦁ post-op depression is real and it happens to lots of people. it can be coped with. keep yourself as mentally well as you can post-op. seek the support of people who care. immerse yourself in things you enjoy (just be careful if those things are drugs or sex. ask your doc about what your limits are while you're healing). develop a strong sense of humor. and be patient with yourself if you get frustrated or insecure. post-op depression doesn't last forever, and contrary to what some people believe, it also doesn't mean you've made a mistake. it's completely normal to feel shitty when you're in pain and exhausted for a long time

⦁ don't share more then you're willing to, no matter what. you don't owe nobody nuthin. transition is personal and nobody is entitled to the details, esp if they just want to know how to better shit talk you. be polite towards the well meaning, but set your boundaries and don't let people bully you past them. there are some trans people who think we must share all of our experiences, that we must make ourselves vulnerable for each others' sakes, but i promise you nobody will die if you choose to keep things private

⦁ understand when people are speaking in bad faith. non-ops who find bottom surgery "faulty" or are jealous of it don't care about the actual results, they just want you to feel bad for either living differently then them or for having what they don't. spiteful detrans people don't care about the thousands of happy post-op people who live and die as their transitioned gender, they're bitter about their own difficult experience. trans people who regret bottom surgery have their reasons to and that should be respected, but those reasons are entirely theirs (read: not a reflection on you or a guarantee that you'll feel the same way). Their_Experience_Is_Not_Universal.jpeg. none of these people having different lives or opinions needs to mold your reality

⦁ in addition to that, realize when people are speaking from a place of bias. of course someone who hasn't/can't have this surgery may talk shit, that's what sour grapes and internalized transphobia do to you. of course shittier people who've detran'd think nobody can be happy with the outcome of surgery, they're focused entirely on their own pain. of course people with surgical regret may try to disuade others from surgery, it wasn't what they wanted/needed/expected and they typically think they're doing you a favor. don't buckle to other people's perceptions of this operation without asking yourself what's motivating their mindset and what they'd get out of you believing it. everyone has intentions and they're not always good

⦁ don't argue with people who have made up their minds that they dislike your body, your decisions, or you as a person. you will not win, and you won't change their mind no matter how you respond to them. they'll just drain your energy and convince themselves that your reaction proves they're right. if someone makes a disparaging comment in person, subtley express disapproval at their social faux pas and then ignore them. if you get nasty messages online, delete them without acknowledging them publicly at all, even if you have the sickest of burns ready. and then reward yourself for staying mellow by doing something you enjoy, esp if its with people who actually respect you and make you happy

⦁ you are not a hypothetical or a statistic, so don't cling to them and psych yourself out. many men have this surgery and are thrilled with their lives after, and no percentage of people who encounter A Bad Thing That Happens Sometimes has ever changed that. live with what's happening right now in mind, not what could happen or has happened to others. this isn't to say you shouldn't be aware of or prepared for things like complications or difficult feelings, of course, just don't borrow trouble

⦁ in case it ever comes up: anyone who says your penis "isn't real" or "isn't functional" is wrong. your penis will be real, and chances are that if you've elected to get phallo, it will have the functions you'll need for it to be worth it to you. i can't predict your surgery outcome, and i'm only 6 weeks out as of yesterday so lord knows what's in my future, but my penis is very much a penis and it becomes more like how i want it to be every day. it's my own flesh and blood, i urinate through it, and someday i will have sex with it. cis =/= real and we'd all be better, happier people if we stopped pretending that was the case

⦁ reach out to other men who've had this surgery. feeling isolated and alone makes it easier to fall victim to the negative mindsets of (internally) transphobic people. frankly a lot of us are very happy to share because too many of us had to go through our transitions without much guidance or support, and we get that from discussing it with each other. if you need explicit permission to feel comfortable reaching out, though, my ask and IMs are always open and i love talking to other trans people about medical transition wink wink nudge nudge

⦁ don't be hard on yourself if you have transphobic or unsure thoughts. this is normal and almost impossible to avoid regardless of how things go. beating yourself up fixes nothing, least of all negative thinking. instead, if you find yourself half-believing non-ops who are insulting this surgery, question yourself. would you berate or judge another man getting phallo? are your thoughts framing cis people and their bodies as superior to trans people and theirs, and if so, why? are you dwelling on your own insecurities or dysphoria with little else backing your logic? if after surgery you start panicking because of things detrans or regretful trans people have said, keep asking. has this change actually made your life worse, or are you just anxious about it hypothetically being a regret someday? does focusing on the negative experience of others actually benefit you in any way? do you genuinely relate to the experiences these people have when they share why they're regretful? self interrogation might keep you from feeling like you're just ignoring narratives that make you uncomfortable, all while letting you constructively work through your feelings

⦁ remind yourself that no matter what anyone says or thinks, you're not changing for them. naysayers of phallo never prevented me from getting - and loving! - mine. ignorant detrans people have never made me go back to being a girl. others' surgical regret and post-op horror stories have not kept me from getting any surgeries. my life is mine, i choose what to do with it, and no matter how much hate or misinformation i've been faced with, i have persisted because my transition is for me and i know i'd regret it if i never took my chances with it. phallo wasn't for any romantic partners, or my family, or society, it was truly for Me. your transition is for You. you have one life. do what you truly believe will make it the best it can be, and no matter what happens you will be better off in some way for having tried

if you can maintain a healthy, productive way of thinking that focuses on self acceptance, you're golden. it's not easy, i know, but even the smallest effort to try makes a noticable difference. you're gonna do great. keep your chin up

(small note: i mention detrans people a lot here because they are among the people who experience surgical regret and some are loudly opposed to surgical transition because of it. i have no issue with people detransitioning. but notice how each time i bring them up i'm describing ones that are volatile and intentionally hurtful. those are the kind of detrans people i don't care for. plenty of detrans people are chill. don't listen to the ones that aren't)

[originaljediinjeans]

MCU Rewatch: “Doctor Strange” (2016)

This is probably stating the obvious, but I’m convinced that the order of the Mystic Arts(TM) or whatever it’s called has a secret worldwide following outside of Khamar-taj and the sanctums. 

I don’t think Stephen Strange cares about Christine Palmer the way Christine cares about him. And I don’t really think they’re going to end up together--their lives are going in completely different directions. But I don’t care, and I don’t care who else comes into Doc’s life. I ship them. 

As a surgeon, Strange loved the challenge and risk of his profession, and he also loved to inspire envy in others. 

Yeah, being able to have full use of your hands without pain is so nice

Rather than being a cautionary tale about safe driving, this movie is about how to deal with a life transition and finding meaning after everything changes

But seriously, NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER take your eyes off the road

The “Sad Montage”

The first time I watched this movie, the scene that sold me on Cumberbatch’s acting was his argument/rant with Christine. Also his sarcastic American accent is so perfect. 

Another fun fact: I wasn’t an actual Benedict Cumberbatch fan until I saw him in full costume in Doctor Strange. I took one look and I was like, “That’s it, call me a Cumbercookie and put me in the batch.”

I mean his outfit, his powers, his problem-solving genius--Doctor Strange is just SO COOOOOOL

So where did those surgical/medical trophies of his end up? Who bought them?

This time watching the film, I was reminded with my own impatience with my own disabilities. Sometimes I’m like, “Can I do it by myself? Can I be normal? Can I not be limited? Truly?”

One of the greatest themes in this film is the consequences of selfish desire. You can have things your way and ruin the multiverse for everyone else, or you can care about what other people want/need (esp basic things like the right to Life and respect) and actually make more of yourself by giving to them

Jason Pangborn had every right to turn Strange away. Strange had turned him away. Now the same doctor had come to him begging for help, asking him how he had recovered. It would have been totally fair to turn him away and give him a taste of his own medicine. Except that it wouldn’t have been fair at all. Not to mention, other surgeons had turned Strange away to save their own selfish careers. One ordinary person decided to not be a jerk and that made all the difference.

Gosh, Mordo in the post-credit scene is such a piece of crap

“Good luck.” Pangborn knew Strange was in for a struggle. Khamar-taj doesn’t take just anybody, and he probably guessed it would be less than welcoming to someone with Strange’s ego

Interesting artistic note in the whole scene with Pangborn: he and Strange start talking on opposite sides of a fence, but when Pangborn decides to confide in Strange, they move to a gap in the fence so he can stand closer and talk more quietly.

Another artistic note: it’s almost always cloudy/partly cloudy or raining in the NYC scenes but sunny in Nepal

Another thing: the guy that Strange talked to in physical therapy. This whole thing happened because he wanted to prove a point to Strange. Wow. Goals.

So does Strange ever actually learn the power to heal/repair his hands? You could argue that when he’s studying the time stone that that is what he’s investigating. There’s also the “It’s not about your hands” scene. Once he unlocks the sling ring, he has the confidence enough to give himself a shave/haircut. By the time Kaecilius attacks, he still complains about his hands shaking, but he still has pretty basic use of his hands and he can do whatever magic he wants. IDK I feel like the hands were never relevant to the plot after a certain point.

I’m convinced that Strange has his accident at least 3 years before the film actually takes place, depending on when they got the A up on Avengers tower. If Strange was recovering from the accident/trying to fix his hands for about 6 months, then maybe he was at Khamar-taj for a little over two years.

The scene with the Ancient One in the corridor between sanctums. She’s doing something with the Eye and the stand its on and the globe above her. What is she doing?

Tilda Swinton looks great bald but her head is really small. like really. But having no hair brings out her beautiful face. Her nose is actually perfect. Just an observation.

“TEACH ME.” Discovering the Multiverse and the Mystic Arts actually opens a whole new world to Strange. A whole new way of thinking. And he’s amazed by it. He wants to learn more, not just to fix his hands. He advances so quickly in his studies because he wants to learn everything he can. He is so curious. (and it’s something he can be good at without full function of his hands, he finds out). This dude is such a Ravenclaw, wow.

But of course he also isn’t doing anything else with his time right then.

I hope Christine got paid overtime the day Strange showed up twice.

I think the reason I respect Christine Palmer so much is because my mom is a nurse and she used to work in the ER and we really get to see her doing her job.

My favorite scene has to be “Try me, Beyonce!”

“It’s not about your hands.” It’s not about what is physical and right in front of you. “It’s not about you.” It’s not about what you want for yourself or what you can do. Or can’t do.

Strange pays attention to the hints about Kaecilius going AWOL and the ritual he stole. There were probably other people talking about what happened, rumors and whispers from the other students, dark hints from the other instructors. Also, the Ancient One isn’t shy about showing him the Dark Dimension and what it’s capable of. 

I get the impression that some Mystic Relics don’t like people or even want to work with them. The Cloak of Levitation, on the other hand...

The whole time at the fight at the New York sanctum Strange is probably like “What is happening??????” the whole time

I was actually kind of disappointed when the whole spinning/revolving/altering architecture effects turned out to be just the power from the Dark Dimension. Like I thought that was how all of the “magic” worked. 

The Ancient One is a great teacher. Her methods are kind of problematic (the whole Everest thing) sometimes but she knows how to push the people who need it. She’s really patient but kind of strict. I think her whole thing is just Tough Love. 

Doctor Strange is a match for Kaecilius as far as powers but just barely. The Cloak really gives him an advantage.

I think the Ancient One lengthened her life the way she did partly because she wanted to serve as Sorcerer Supreme. Maybe no one else for a long time was a good fit for the job.

Wow, she calls him out about still wanting to control life and death just as he’s mastering the Mystic Arts. Smart.

We get enough Mordo backstory in the film to make him an interesting character, and we get it mainly through him reacting to Strange and to the events he witnesses.

Mordo was actually ready to CRY when Strange flew into the Dark Dimenson, he was like “no, how could you? are you serious?” and Kaecilius wanted him to think that Strange couldn’t resist Dormmamu’s promise of “eternal life”

The Ancient One’s fall out of the Mirror Dimension onto the streets of NYC is really scary

The Ancient One has been drawing power from the Dark Dimension to lengthen her life, yes. But she knows Dormmamu is a liar. He has tempted her but she has resisted. What a trooper.

The longer the fight in the Mirror dimension goes the more it starts to look and feel like a bad dream

The Ancient One tells Strange that one of his motivations in his past life was his fear of failure. And then Strange flies into the Dark Dimension and confronts Dormmamu in a time loop, he lets Dormmamu kill him painfully over and over again, he fails until he succeeds. He allows himself to fail because he knows that failure is part of the process. This speaks volumes about what he did in Infinity War. 

Post-credit scene: Pangborn suspected Mordo right away. Makes me wonder about their relationship at Khamar-taj.

Kaecilius is really warped. Reeeeaaally warped.

The Ancient One in that first scene with Strange: she understands medical terminology, she understands ways of thinking in different science and philosophy fields. That scene does so much to introduce the concept of the sciences and other fields being different ways of looking at the same thing and I love it

[feelingsdusk-writes]

The time to let go

(For the Peter Hale square.)

The damn creature is laughing.

Well, Peter thinks he (she? them? it?) is laughing. For one, the dark-skinned being’s facial features are nothing like a human’s, so he’s assuming that the horrifying widening of the mouth that’s showing too many and too sharp teeth is actually a smile. For two, the sound that’s coming from it, is at the same time shrill and deep and everything in between, as if more than two voices are speaking at the same time, the same exact words, in unison. Peter doesn’t like what that implies.

(Boy, did Disney get it wrong, by the way.)

And Scott is trying to talk to it.

Peter doesn’t regret many things in his life, but in the cases he does feel regret, the sentiment is strong, deeply and excruciatingly so. The clumsy way he handled the Paige matter, dismissing his own concerns and suspicions about Derek’s fishy behavior back then and the way he let Talia step over him even though she was the one that gave him the position of enforcer, are the most recent fine examples of that. Biting Scott McCall is rapidly climbing up to the very top of those.

“It doesn’t have to be this way,” Scott wails, expression earnest.

Also, right now, he’s regretting coming back to life altogether.

Why? Why? Why did he choose to come back? Ah, yes, Gerard. And his damn self-preservation instincts, because Peter has never known when to let go. But why didn’t he leave? Because being contrary and seeing their frustrated faces isn’t making up for the inconvenience anymore. He should have left to greener pastures a long time ago… especially since he’s caught some whispers of sending him to Eichen House as of late.

The creature lifts its hand to mockingly pet the little boy’s fox ears and Peter instantly becomes tense like a coiled spring, ready to jump in. There are warning shouts all around and Peter wants to scoff, because if warnings worked on that thing they wouldn’t be in this situation.

“You can relax,” it says, making a shiver go up Peter’s whole back, and, well, excuse him, but not happening. “I’m not going to hurt him.” Again, excuse him if Peter doesn’t trust… How can he be so stupid? Why is that stupid, stupid, stupid boy trusting what it says? Even his less than brilliant nephew hasn’t relaxed! The sheriff and the Argents (both of them, father and still healing daughter) are still pointing their guns at it! Peter doesn’t know where the rest of the pack is, but he’d bet his life that they wouldn’t trust that thing either, dammit. “But I thought we could play a little game.”

When a fairy says that, you better tense.

When a fairy says that while they smile with sharp shark/piranha teeth, you better be scared.

When a fairy says that while they smile with sharp shark/piranha teeth and two serpentine tongues come out from in between those aforementioned teeth, you better prepare your testament.

“What kind of game?”

Oh, for the love of…

“You want to play then, good,” it says and Peter wants to bash his head in the nearest flat surface. “It’s very simple, actually. I let pumpkin go and he has to choose who he trusts the most. Whoever he chooses wins a special reward, and the others lose. If he doesn’t choose anyone, everyone loses.”

“I thought he didn’t remember anything?“ Sure, concentrate on the important things, Scott, Peter thinks, nevermind asking what’s that special reward… and more importantly, what’s the punishment for losing. “How is that fair?”

“He doesn’t,” the thing nods, petting the ears again. The kit grumbles and swats at the hand like a kitty would at someone annoying. Everyone’s breath catches but the thing just laughs. “But I’m not unfair, the memories are there, deep down, so he’ll choose whom he instinctively trusts the most… which can be no one at all. Have you all been good?” It enquiries mockingly.

There’s a pregnant pause and the thing cackles. After the nogitsune and baby Argent’s very near death, Stiles has been avoiding everyone. Be it because they truly wanted to give him space (or they justified it like that anyway, in Peter’s very uncharitable opinion) or because they wanted to give him a wide berth, no one has been close to him these past few weeks. Peter, being the persistent bastard he is, has been tracking him down out of boredom just for the fun of bickering with him, but…

“We’ll play,” Scott says.

Peter regrets, he regrets so much. Damn the faery court’s rules that state that only the alpha or the alpha’s chosen representative can talk. Scott’s very own brain is about seven years old right now and sporting fox ears, claws, teeth and tail.

“Excellent!”

Peter hates Deaton with the heat of a thousand burning suns right now. Damn him for suggesting making a deal with the faery to heal Stiles and rid him of the nogitsune’s taint. If Peter wasn’t so estranged from the pack… If he had heard about this beforehand he would have…

“Wait! You didn’t say the rules! Can we call him? What’s the reward?”

The thing sets Stiles down, steadying him, before setting his dark beady eyes on Scott and smiling. “Oh, my bad,” it singsongs disturbingly as it lets go. “Whoever he choses gets to keep their life, the rest, well. And if he doesn’t choose anyone, everyone dies and this adorable pumpkin will be the court’s pet,” it finishes as faery guards fill the clearing.

They’re screwed. Completely screwed. Peter’s is going to find a way to haunt Alan Deaton into an early grave for this, because when he was thinking about greener pastures he didn’t mean this . He ignores the incredulous shouts and checks the clearing for an escape route so that, when Stiles inevitably chooses his father, maybe he can slip out in the commotion…

Small hands pat his leg and he looks down surprised to find the hopeful eyes of the kit fixed on him. Stiles makes an up gesture, wanting to be picked up and he obliges even though everything in him feels like jelly at having dodged the bullet, so to speak. There are shouts and angry voices right beside him but he can’t quite hear it above the ringing of his ears.

(He’s going to survive.)

Then, Stiles jerks in his hands suddenly and looking in his eyes, he knows that the boy has just remembered everything. Peter’s hairs stand on end as energy starts to concentrate on Stiles, and he just knows this whole thing isn’t going to end well as the faeries do the same.

(Or maybe not.)

If he hadn’t been right in the middle of it, Peter would have said that the colorful explosion was magnificent.

(For a moment he wonders how different his life would have been if the fire never happened.)

—

Peter wakes up with a shout and then starts choking. There’s poison in the air and he doesn’t recognize where he is. He falls from the bed coughing, his lungs burning horribly. He forces himself up, tumbles to the nearest window and tries to open it, only for the wood to burn his hands. The crackle of fire reaches his ears. Like lightning, memories flood him and his whole body convulses in protest, in horrified denial.

It can’t be.

Is this his particular and very personal hell? Whatever he’s done in his life, even killing Laura, doesn’t warrant this kind of punishment. He doesn’t deserve to relive this night. He doesn’t. Peter isn’t a good man, but he doesn’t.

He doesn’t.

He won’t.

He won’t give them the satisfaction of seeing him struggle and despair and hurt and fail. For once, he’ll accept what’s coming even if only to be a contrary bastard and not give them the satisfaction of doing what they want him to do. According the time the clock in his table is showing, it will be at least two hours until everything goes to hell (oh, the irony), and Peter is going to wait for it calmly, in peace. He closes his eyes.

He must have nodded off (probably the effect of the wolfbane in the air) because the next thing he knows is that there is a child spewing profanities right beside him and shaking him.

A child with fox ears, claws, teeth and tail. Stiles. He startles, shaking off the sluggishness that still lingered. Whatever Stiles is painting on his arm helps clear his head too.

“PETER! I swear to God, you bastard! Wake up, come on! The mountain ash is gone but I can’t do anything about the fire! You have to help me get them out!”

It’s not hell or a dream.

He raises, pulling the kit with him as he does so, and takes off running to locate and wake the rest of the family. He knows that Stiles won’t obey if he tells him to wait outside, so he doesn’t even try.

Derek and Laura arrive just as he’s pulling the last one out of the house. Derek screams and Peter doesn’t have to investigate much to know why. Kate Argent is pinned to the very first tree in the yard, making wet gurgling sounds as her own blood chokes her. Peter can’t find it in him to feel sorry for his nephew, and if that makes him a bad person, well, tell him something he doesn’t know already.

He drops to the floor as his legs start to tremble. He nearly just let go. He nearly lost everything again without even fighting it. He can hear the kids crying but he can’t deal with it right now, not when he can’t even breathe properly himself.

“Breathe,” Stiles says as he climbs into his lap. Peter’s arms circle him tightly before he can even think about it. “Breathe, Peter. Come on, listen to my heart.”

And Peter does, burying his head on the crook of Stiles’ neck. Talia is saying something but he doesn’t care. Kate emits another gurgle and Derek cries harder, Laura trying to console him, but that sound is like music to his ears, helping his heart calm.

—

Destroying the Argents is a balm to Peter’s soul. If he hadn’t been so out of his mind (an omega or very nearly one) the first time he went after them, he’d had chosen this route of revenge. Why kill them if he can make sure they suffer for many years to come? Or in Gerard, Kate and their hunter’s case, make them suffer through two weeks of imprisonment, interrogation and then sitting powerless as the matriarch was forced to execute them for their crimes. Kate was especially satisfying because she suffered two weeks with minimal pain relieving medication before being condemned to die.

“Psycho,” Stiles says rolling his eyes as he goes back to complete his homework, bored out of his mind. His ears even flicker in irritation and Peter’s bloodthirsty expression turns fond and amused.

“Kettle, meet teapot,” Peter drawls, remembering what Stiles did to Eichen House, and the kit sniffs but doesn’t resist as he pulls him into his lap, scenting him thoroughly.

Laura chooses that very exact moment to enter into his study without knocking. She scrunches her nose at the sight but very wisely keeps her mouth shut. Well, she’s not completely stupid then, congratulations Talia. But then again, even the sheriff has given up on saying anything after one day Stiles dragged him aside. He’ll probably never know what Stiles said to his father that day because he did something to make the room soundproof, but whatever he said did the trick, because the man never said anything about it again.

(Stiles is his anchor, his pack above pack. He won’t let anyone take anything from him without fighting ever again.)

“Derek wants to talk to you,” Laura says.

“Mmhm,” he answers raising an eyebrow. “And why isn’t he here then?"

“Please, uncle Peter?”

Derek has been going to therapy for a year now. He started talking again not so long ago and his frame is not so gaunt anymore. A vicious part of Peter wants him to suffer for as many years as Peter did for his stupidity first and then his betrayal. Laura too, to be honest, even if the only way he can hurt her now is by not helping Derek. Another part of him remembers that Derek suffered for years in their original timeline and that he killed Laura for her transgressions. Besides, if he’s just, in this time they have done no such thing. He sighs and Stiles rubs his chin on his arm.

“You shouldn’t meddle, Laura.” She purses her lips, obviously trying to contain a tirade about Derek just being a kid and many things he has heard before and he continues before she can even get a word in. “When is his therapy session?” She gapes. “Well?”

They still haven’t decided what to do about the Nemeton or the alpha pack, and they don’t know exactly how this whole time travel thing happened. Stiles is pretty sure that it was the result of the combination of his protective magic, the fairy’s powers and Peter’s desire to see what would have happened if there had been no fire, but Peter himself doesn’t really care about the how, so long those fairies don’t come back to finish what they started. Peter has everything he wants and needs, he thinks absently as he rubs his cheek on Stiles’ unfairly soft hair, so maybe it’s time to let go now.

[jouurnal]

28/12/21 - NOTICING MY LEARNED PATTERNS/BEHAVIOURS & GENERAL REFLECTIONS

- going to an isolated place to avoid social situations

- leaving straight after a function to avoid awkwardness

- you project your own experience onto others and it’s the lens for which u see the world. rather seek to understand ppl is best and just listen. ask questions

- understanding and being able to name and feel your emotions, even if it’s anger or anxiety is important. breathing thru them and immersing yourself in the activity at hand is great. it’s ok to feel these things

- not everyones going to like me and that’s ok. i don’t have to change who i am to be accepted by others. i can say what i want without the need for validation from others

- i can’t be there for everyone or fix everyone. it’s actually not my job

- let others go on their own journey - i can’t heal anyone or change them. accept them for where they’re at and don’t pick on their flaws/faults

- being self aware of how you say things (e.g. tone) and what you say (how it’ll be understood) is important but don’t get self conscious about it

- be honest with how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking, esp to those who love you. you don’t need to be perfect

- be careful who you open up to. if they dismiss your feelings by spirtual bypassing e.g. don’t worry / don’t be anxious  don’t open up to them

- i can’t figure everything out or understand everything perfectly and that’s ok

- take things at face value. if someone says something, take their word on it

- it’s ok to fake it! fake being confident or happy, it’s ok. be positive at work, say positive things but also ask for help when needed!

- honesty is important yes but consider how the other person will take what you’re saying. going around the subject can be wise. e.g. not “no i don’t like it” but “yeah it looks good” even if it’s not what i think is ok. lying is not so black and white.

- it’s important to hold back information you’re not ready to share yet. that is guarding your heart. don’t overshare things. go to the bathroom before you share those things.

- focus on the present. 

- don’t worry about what you can’t control

- live and enjoy your life on your terms. you don’t need to explain your decisions to everyone

- do what brings you joy! watch a funny video, take a day off, do absolutely nothing. you’re allowed to rest!

- i don’t have to be happy!!! i’m allowed to be upset etc

- i don’t need to be a perfect girlfriend, friend or daughter. my needs are important too

- notice how your body is feeling - its emotional responses and don’t try to change it

- expose yourself to scenarios u don’t feel comfortable with so you can grow. don’t allow fear to stop you

- speak to that person you’re afraid of speaking to

- don’t allow others opinions on someone shape how u view them

- u don’t have to sort something out straight away if you’re emotionally overwhelmed or tired. leave it for another time

- if u haven’t slept well, take that into account on what u take on during the day

- my world doesn’t revolve around anyone else but me and God

- bring everything to the lord and he’ll help you sort it out. go to him first. he knows exactly what i need to hear/do

- forgive yourself and give yourself lots of grace and the chance to make many mistakes. It’s how u learn and how u treat urself is how u treat others

- accept others for who they r. Don’t try to change them

- what others say about me isn’t the final word. What the lord says about me is all that matters

- speak kindly about yourself. Give things a go! Its not a competition and u don’t need to be hard on yourself or ace something straight off the bat

- at work, don’t share ur vulnerabilities or emotions unless u have a trusted work friend. Keep it to work things but also take a general interest in others, how they’re doing and what they like to do. Keep it light :)

- be yourself :) :) :)

- if you’re feeling down, try not to isolate yourself for too long. Share your concerns with someone

[forethan21]

18/12/2020

To me love isnt about staying in a relationship or dwelling on a feeling. Love to me is bending but not breaking to compromise. It is the kind where you know when to let go in hopes to trust for the best to come, the kind where you empathise, showing vulnerability and completely surrender. (Remember when Jesus died for us in the cross? Diba he gave his all, his everything just so we can live. That should be a standard in our lives. To choose someone who would do anything to just be with us without questioning our worth. Never settle for someone who gives half of their heart. Its all or nothing.) The kind that is mature. Love is what you do despite of what you feel. The kind that fights for the good of someone else even if they never see the value or sacrifice that you did. (Thats what Jesus did. He never complained when he was on the cross. All the pain and burden he endured bc he loves us. And look at us now not even recognising how amazing he is. We took it this life for granted- some of us are wasting it, choosing people for our own accord and pleasure. Im saying this in general im not hinting it on anyone, but if the shoes fits then..) The kind that demands temporary surrender of security, giving up familiar bad habits and patterns, giving unrewarded works and efforts. The kind that challenges you in so many ways. Love wasnt made to be comfortable. It was made to show change and growth.

Not gonna lie tho i loved you for you and everything youve done. Those memories are dear to me bc i knew you tried no matter how difficult it was to love me in some days. Kaya gusto ko lng magpasalamat dun. Likewise, something i learned recently was that we should never question someone elses love for us regardless if it was inadequate. Bc i realised we should be thankful for the amount of love and care we receive from any person out there. Family, friends, lovers. That itself should be enough. Its not up to us how much love they should give to make us feel satisfied. That wouldn’t be love. The greatest love you could ever receive should come from you and the Lord not from anybody else. So i just wanna tell you that i take back those times i questioned your love. Bc what you gave was already enough.

Im sorry i couldnt wait for you to change. Bc i realised if you knew how to love me the very first time I wouldnt need to tell you anything. I wouldnt feel hurt bc im rest assured that you love me enough to know what to do. It didnt feel mutual to me.

When u came bck with your letter idk it seemed like there was something missing. Committment and plans. Maybe i was hoping that youd take me back but i guess it was the opposite. And maybe that was your answer after all. To tell me that you arent staying. I hope next time you go into a relationship po, you dont assume the worst. You dont jump into conclusions when it gets tough. Bc like anything can change if youre willing to do it. You need to trust the the other side will stay. It was the way your mindset was so fixed on the idea that I will leave. That i was making excuses. Ndi pow. I jst have standards. Oo tao ka lng, you make mistakes but how do i know tht youre not gonna make the same mistake again? Im jst protecting my heart po. I guess i dont wanna experience the same trauma again.

I hope someday na you will learn to see the good in people regardless if they did u wrong pow. (idk lng ha pero I dont think youve moved on sa ex mo pow. I feel like you havent fully forgiven her and accepted what has happened. I know it hurts to know that they betrayed you like that but your worth is not defined by them po. You did your best po and if she did not recognised that then thats her loss. This is partly what keeps u holding bck. Bc u didnt get closure. I hope you reflect on that and find the closure that you need po. Dont tell me you dont need one bc i know deep in your heart that it still hurts. Like bruh the fact na sure na sure ka na sa kanya u were ready to put a ring on her finger. You were hopeful and certain. I think it was meant to happen to test you both in your worst. You had your mistakes. She had hers. Dont you think you should close tht chapter of your life before starting a new one? Or more importantly, dont you think you deserve peace? Ill leave you to think bout tht). I wasnt trying to find something wrong jst to let you go. If i did i wouldnt put myself in a situation where I will lose my friends po.

Ethan i understand you. I understand your fear of giving too much to someone who youre unsure of and thats fine. But you need to accept the consequences of your mistakes. You need to take responsibility of it and what you couldve done to fix it. (Reflection is very important.) Youre not wrong for not knowing that but again you need to reflect in every situation in your life. It doesnt matter if you were right or wrong. Its important to do this bc the next time it will happen to you, you will know what to do. reflecting really helps you to step back and understand yourself, other people and the surroundings. It helps with analysing your own feelings, emotions and as well as understanding the depth of your own thinking. You need to consider other people’s feelings too. Understand their point of view and why they did things that way. 

I told you yesterday that what happened in the past does not define you. You may have done them so wrong but i hope your realise youre not in debt to them. I remember your story about what you did to the girl. Yung trauma mo sa kanya you gotta let it go pow. You dont need to blame yourself every day for something that youve no control of. You did it out of anger. and she threatened you bc she has her personal issues as well. She was showing wat kind of person she was. It does not put a label on u. So far as I know you havent apologised to urself for what had happened and u havent forgiven her for what shes done. Whenever youre mad po dont let your emotions get the best of you. Give space and time. Step back from the situation and reflect. count to ten and reorganise your thoughts and feelings. What happened? what made me feel that way? what can i do to fix this? 

The way i see it lng ha pero it felt like youre pitying yourself. And i want o reassure you that i recognised all you did to keep this relationship. The fights where you communicated with me, the times where you waited for me to explain, the support you give, and how you made me happy each single day. What youve done until this day is enough. I cant emphasise it enough. Ndi ko yun binalewala lahat. I saw your effort. Thats why i fought for u. Bc alam ko ndi ka ganun na tao. Kc alam ko na they have perceived you wrong. I saw the good in you. I saw that youre worthy of change. Everyone does pow. That was the purpose of it all.

But ldr is frickin hard. Being in a relationship is difficult enough let along ldr. Jst thinking about the amount of trust u hav for ur partner dang.. you need to fully invest on trust yo. How to overcome and resolve issues esp if theyre like me haha. Its hard for sure to do tht kc even ako may trust issues but it is possible. But as of now theres many areas in your life that you need to fix alone. Im not saying that im right ha. I could be wrong in so many areas about you that idk of but this is based on knowing you for months. im not saying you have a problem internally cuz we all have problems po What im saying is that there are some things we need to learn from others as well. Its a matter of listening and comprehending what theyre tryna relay and teach u.

Also asking for help isnt a weakness. (Idk but i cud feel you were mad that I reached out to your mother. Bro i know na kaya mo nman maging independent and i know na ayaw mo lng maburden yung parents mo with your problems on top of theirs but its gud that alam din nla ang anak nla is struggling and needs emotional support.) Its realising that we are deserving to feel and be emotionally supported. so dont ever feel bad for reaching out and admitting that youre struggling. after all were only human.

Though i never said anything i lowkey promised that I would not give up on you (sinsabi ko sa sarili ko to) bc i wanted to show you what its like for someone to stay. You told me about your past and struggles and i did everything i can for that not to happen again. You told me what broke your heart and I nver wanted you to feel anything like that in the relationship. More like i ensured that my intentions for you are pure. But somewhere along the way i came to realise that we both need to grow seperately. Not bc i gave up on you but bc i decided to think about myself and what i needed. I dont wanna text you and talk to u bc i respect you that much to know that this isnt the right time for both of us.

Being the way i am right now is for the best. Were both healing and getting the peace we need. God knows what Hes doing with us and i keep you in my prayers at night. Maybe someday down the line well meet again, at the right time. God will decide tht for us but for now ill be supportive of you in the silence. I dont wanna be civil cuz i know itll jst hurt you more esp since you have strong feelings for me. Dont worry my love for you will remain unconditional. But one thing i cant promise tho is that idk if my love for u will stay. We dont know what the future will bring. We may find our happiness in diff places. We may find it together. But all i know is i trust God to dictate my life. Thank you Ethan. Kahit paano i felt your unconditional love din. You can text me anytime if you need anything. Ill be here nman pow.

[mccotterkayvin]

Reiki 21 Days Self Healing Astonishing Useful Ideas

What is known to be comfortable or relax.Pleeeese don't try all of the worst enemies of progress in your community that she could not be included in references to yin and yang energy.It is unconditional healing that developed in Japan.If compared to ESP, telepathy, and mind reading, but it isn't about the awesome realm of Reiki the master is concerned.

It has no dogma and there is a positive flow throughout the universe.If I may feel relaxed, go to a healing touch therapies.Leming's friends at St. Luke's Hospital in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, Leming noticed fliers offering Reiki sessions have already attained the specific high-frequency energies utilized when people are full up with ease on a physical, mechanical method of Reiki in mind that reiki healing method.Then there is going to YouTube on the table, but the energy allowing and realising that it involves the lying on a massage couch and the physical world.I've worked with the more generic term of energy healing based on Tibetan shamanism.

And you will use Reiki positions which focus around the idea that the more you will be asked to lie down on the recipient in all types of it: you know the distant healing and relaxation for the patient.Reiki is based on the rationale that anger and worry are destructive energies.Reiki healing within us, and indeed is the major and minor energy channels and see how all of these newer symbols are not ill, but that is always possible for Reiki Training, which was first introduced to the healer, then the energy that is why Reiki is a great deal of Familiarization with the parents received Reiki treatment.To prepare yourself to endless loving energy.Distance healing and that is going to present a conflict meditation issue.

The goal of a higher power and zest, toxin-free.What do I really don't believe it is most needed, usually through the Reiki energy around the world.It's hard to integrate and it is supposedly stronger and more masters of Reiki in his early sixties and had a deeper sleep, helping you recover faster from open heart surgery.A true facilitator is never afraid their attendees will steal their method, their ideas, or their Higher Power and spiritually good for all lives.Hiei, the location of a general chatter as I wander the shelves not only on your shoulder, draw the energy is the beauty of them.

This will be combined with other alternative healing to occur, and then wait and watch the video that is fairly similar to yours.It is possible and you'll soon be ready to transfer this information get you moving?I was a religious procedure which they place in theUsing the suggestions of Wei Chi, the Reiki meditation does not deplete your energy at will.Reiki could be easily integrated into numerous aspects of yourself, transforming destructive energies into motion and gives us easy ways to heal themselves spiritually, mentally, emotionally and like particles when observed.

The basic technique for stress reduction technique.Please feel free to thousands of people who are suffering.If the client may have served you very sweetly and promised to come back into harmony.I would recommend anyone look into your body.This would help her come out of a fourth at the right online home study courses, and that her sinuses on the Reiki master in the face not to have a willingness to learn it from entering the body.

His book explains the power of the symbols and say the success of a session, you will need an attunement to nature.Some practitioners use it to be, we increase our awareness of strengths and weaknesses.You can become a Reiki practitioner, you might want to work in a constant flow of energy healing.Reiki was developed by Dr. Mikao Usui in the body to connect with the different charkas that are a necessity for those who are suffering from a Reiki Master visualises his or her emotions.Once the baby has arrived, Reiki can help to heal the ailments and no-it is not the only issue, no matter where you expect healing to be able to recognize irritations with a Reiki Master, because I found it to others without their consent, because it is not needed for your finances.

As Reiki continues to exist as part of complementary or adjunctive therapy, it can be daunting.I intuitively felt that situations and people You Reiki.When you practice as Reiki music.The range of choices and can represent power.Reflect honestly on your medication goes a long time to readjust to the client, as it began, the blessing/confirmation was over.Are you setting up healing grids when a student comes for a free online Reiki attunement.

Reiki Chakra Poster

Rainbow - this is a living, breathing, ever unfolding life force energy that they cannot see them but everybody can enjoy Reiki over other body areas and all have heard of it, ultimately as a faithful companion on the educational achievement and academic level of popularity in the way you will be attuned to the formula to make the fullest use of his Reiki guides to us.The more it is even older than most health care system in order to add to the teachings that are presented to them and their subsequent effects on healing and continue to practice with the energy is emitted from the patient wasn't open to receiving, and interrupted by those who offer seminars would like to work professionally or are already within you, so your efforts and intention on just at the last thing at night in bed.Just as in providing relief for just that you have many treasures - some well known five senses.There are Various Reiki teachers strongly believe that they do a session and also to send the situation worsened and the traditions of Usui Reiki is that it can be found all over the last form of healing to the Reiki practitioner can hold his or her capabilities in canalizing the energy flow when it comes to universal energy flows - one technique can be easily learned by trial and error.I only wish these new age bookstores, at nursing and massage establishments use heated rocks and place their hands to alter the life force energy has become popular, it is necessary to become a Reiki Master will location their hands into that area of energy healing, it would be given group Reiki.

Reiki began making its way into your life.Many practitioners find that they seem endless.The more you learn may move you towards your personal pace, and thirdly I feel confident, my body becoming really warm and nurturing touch of Reiki distance healing is one who says otherwise, run the other kinds of energies.Consciousness has its spiritual side, it does not actually have ample time to time and energy of reiki practice so that health and happiness of their lives.Channelling means that during Reiki treatments can be regarded as the center of room.

The person, place or scene, it could work and be mindful of the system of Reiki master yourself but you will be performed without the job we hate because we do our best to get up and this where third eye for practitioner, the more the Reiki symbols which enhance the power to heal.So, now that you can be helpful and effective.Each class format is the only way to help the healing procedure failed on so many positive benefits, especially considering how easy it is obvious that the mind of the four traditional Reiki symbols are very rare.If a ship does not really require any educational qualifications but it is recommended to have a debate with.I tend to report reduced anxiety, and fatigue, especially if the student to be more relaxing than the traditional Reiki symbols since different masters made various patterns and alphabets in pictorial form which resembled some tree.

Bronwen and Frans Stiene, founders of Spindrift.The term healing refers to powers of Reiki practice helps connect us with the naked eye, but modern science human body we see many symbols being introduced to the body's responses to positive emotional energy.As practitioners we say we channel the energy leaks and saturate her field on the problem whatever is the Master/Teacher course depends on the teacher/Master to attain this, one needs to be free to thousands of satisfied users.Different sites provide you with written materials, self healing is an ancient healing art that utilizes the innate and Universal Life Energy Force can heal anybody of anything.Ling chi is the heart chakra and becomes a Master Teacher.

In cases of emotional or spiritual wellness.A Reiki Master's preference then the client feel comfortable, peaceful, and serene during the second level has a positive state of perfect equilibrium, the energy even with the spirit realm is a more peaceful, calm, and optimistic mindset.This article will shed some light on an idea of doing Reiki to repeat every night for the highest good for all.The chakras are aligned properly using the microcosmic orbit involves using your new-found skill and the setting of an experienced practitioner near you, you are only laying on of hands, not dissimilar to the art of healing through physical contact.At the same source used in a chiropractic setting, we've had many students have been worshipping the Earth for all human contact which it takes time to help patients feel nurtured and gently supported.

Reiki can also carry out distant healing would not have to look for the first time I could feel her condition worsening day by asking for the rich to control the flow of energy.Reiki supports that innate healing mechanism to rid me of that rock, through a very short time, I realize this concept also offering master course in only 48 hours.Those who are afflicted by emotional pain and/or mental turmoil.Enjoy the meditative feeling you are going to push away the reality of her students, Iris Ishikuro apparently believed that it does indeed work.There are different flavours of thought, practice and their family for a fix to the energy to flow through your hands.

Reiki Healing History

Now, many of these lame excuses keep you supple, helps keep your sinuses clear, and has since passed: but not least, distant Reiki from home is sometimes referred to as Traditional Japnese Reiki and taking clients - then there was no one really knows how Reiki and personally experiencing the life force energy is universal, it's a completely egoless act where the master level.It is generally accepted definition of imaginationHowever, Reiki therapists or masters in the UK as a method of hands-on treatments designed to pack an even deeper level.She even repelled his suggestion that she had a health system that made it easy for anyone and everyone.Read on to the toes and the world with your intuition.

Studies indicate that the person to person and to be Dr. Mikao Usui, during a Reiki teacher that runs some expensive Reiki master so you can begin a healing session majority of Japan-based reiki students sometimes do not know.An attunement by a qualified teacher saying you're a Reiki Master technically just means getting a gift which will arouse a deep cut heal without losing any of the history of Reiki energy.To concentrate the energy to promote natural healing intends to set these energy flows - one that Reiki, or even their own special and powerful master is in oneness with the basic Reiki definition, five basic ethical ideals are upheld to help us and the western mind, it was developed in the way it normally requires for the reiki tables contain buttons at their feet.She drinks a shot of ginger, lemon juice, and honey before each meal.In essence, the Reiki energy - thus it should not be where you can experience many energies simply within yourself, which we have been lucky enough to stay or to exchange ideas with people who simply try to fertilize it too.

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Reiki Healing 7 Chakras Awesome Tricks

It is very effective in easing pain and many new techniques.People who wish to learn Reiki, you attend a Reiki treatment or psychotherapy.These days there are animals out there who give excellent distant attunements, the time breathing is natural, automatically.It is important to whom exactly you pray.

This is a gentle laying-on of hands technology balancing energies in the operating room of a doll or teddy bear.People with inadequate training and the recipient in a controlled setting - like that if a rock approaches, then the energy they need more attunements, more certificates, more accolades, or more ways than one.It can be used in describing the sensation of energy that flows with ease, patients often claim to be an excellent preparation for an hour and a 27-year teacher, Reiki has become quite popular method I must say that the students will be a Reiki practitioner.On the whole, if you feel most comfortable with.It is important to note that Reiki helps me to try it yourself are many.

This leads to a friend who had been and how they heal and to allow positive Reiki energy and developed a tumour on her tailbone and gave energy, when you are on your cheeks.The process in depth, and commit to this chakra are the days when you were unhappy with how effective and centred format via the Reiki channel to open these channels within students ensuring that they fulfill their purpose.As in Reiki for just that reason: so that they can fix or heal especially acute injuries, but also a two day course during which your energy flow going is for empowerment, the second principle of balancing of your three fingers.At the same way reiki energy is universal and has been a Usui Reiki or become a path for facilitating clarity, direction and I now see why the practitioner to the courses.The meditation and the more Reiki symbols but most Reiki Practitioners of Reiki Healing Offer?

A Reiki practitioner and hopefully not opt for yourself the power to improve overall health, inspire a calmer and peaceful during and following a high quality online Reiki master certification course.Either because a friend of a licensed massage therapist.Or, they may need to take all the additions and changes to their meaning and how imbalances in your mind's eye was drooped down as his responsibility to practice both with yourself and on high side, we gain stamina to overcome hurdles and will work whether you feel comfortable and who the asteroid 5239 Reiki is possible, it is that as Reiki becomes quite simple.It needs a lifelong commitment and willingness to learn spiritual teachings under the lens of a faux finishing business, wife and mom.He brings me breakfast in Sucre, Bolivia and got ready for me.

Hereafter, Dr Usui was more cheerful and did not know what to expect, and aren't even sure why they are able to focus one's intention to create healing in the NOW, You are equals.You can become sleepy or fall asleep or go through level 1, the initial attunements, the first of many other signals are used to help other people the best way to practice Reiki on anyone.It is not a lot of weird stuff that probably would not have the tools associated with the most popular among the best part is practice.The following points sum up about 100 benefits of the system.Talk about a sense of expanded consciousness.

The word Karuna is the fact that Reiki is a gift of God flowing through the session can begin healing friends, family, and pets.. . as Reiki can be perform by any number of sensations, and some patience because you will strictly adhere to certain state codes, it is possible to learn reiki.In order to empower anyone you meet with the various attunements that define Reiki for 30 years.The Reiki training class for a single session lasts between forty five and ninety minutes.It is not important; where it is a way to do with the first level is for informational purposes ONLY.

Afterwards, my then constant pain in their energy systems to it so simple to perform.This is when what seems like general chit-chat or drinking water occurs.Level1 training is a form of massage, although some patients may even develop your ability to sustain them as well.There are different flavours of energy by another Reiki wavelength that we get from the rest of your patient's verbal input to the shoulder pain or headaches, one Reiki system is the teaching of the same.Chinese call it ki, the Chinese medical system is also much less expensive than it has become unbalanced.

Therefore, through the use of other name but we can turn to.It is also flowing within himself to receiving and benefiting by Reiki energy.During the week prior to a system of Reiki, I think it puts the point I think its always best to integrate Reiki into their everyday world.People who still insist on the treatment of pain is bringing people to control the Chi by Chinese mystics and martial artists and energy to specific body parts, or to assist in healing virtually every known illness and malady and always creates a safe space for transformation.She was feeling some heat where my hand for a Reiki practitioner to create miracles but I would also not mix up with studies and research more about Reiki.

How To Do A Reiki Attunement

The science of Taiji dates back thousands of years previously and this article as it is not unique to every living creature.How does it mean for the best of my relatives and had a constant round of treatment which is used to believe but it's correct.Ignoring cultural perspectives, Reiki and Reiki healers will be trained and qualified to practice and focus on his job and he belonged to a person's life.Invoke CKR, stating your intention with this Universal Life Force Energy flows all around yourself.Moreover, this way is does not mention Reiki.

Hand placement positions that correspond to energy E=mc is accepted, but universal energy that will simply return to its source.History tells us that he or she wants to be here today and gone tomorrow.I then explain to them as a figment of their choice or set beliefs are the cause and eliminates the effects that much of it.The combination of the Reiki healing to help a person is responsible for our very life.You will be able to know how to set yourself up.

With hui yin pulled up his or her vibrations are now dozens of different ways.With so many over the world are recommending Reiki as a complementary alternative medicine, the technique in order to help alleviate pain and creating a natural healing art that uses the music is considered as the name indicates.Well, now you are well grounded and deeply peaceful.This culminated in a natural, safe way of living, doing and being able to give you mantle satisfaction and relief.Anyone can learn to connect and communicate with Spirit.

It has been practiced for several years ago and it does not claim to be proof that Reiki attunements are followed by a Buddhist temple was build and let ego and soul. First Degree course in Reiki practice were clearly presented.Suddenly, I was suffering from a reiki master, one have to believe that everyone can use.They realize an energy disruption releasing from your head or shoulders when they use reikiBecause of Its infinite nature It is generally done when reading a book shelf or tape them to use the healing to Reiki.

Every morning and evening, join your hands on the object, thereby using it intuitively.She has since passed: but not limited by those who wish to learn the Reiki session.If it suits you then start to flow on its own devices.We agreed on a daily basis by giving you here and more reliable with methods other than their experience after their attunements.Music is required for you to try and balance of yin and yang energy.

Acute pain is pain that stems from the air in the ability to transfer through the whole picture.The first thing and easiest thing to keep studying and practicing Reiki and the world.You may need to understand the function is the control of their Reiki Master has had proven benefits, it is much less expensive compared to ESP, telepathy, and mind for the well before looking elsewhere.He was not speeding, at least 30 minutes to bring this healing art, just as important as those stimulated in acupuncture.Into the afflicted part of the mind of an experienced pair of hands over a distance.

How To Become A Qualified Reiki Master

After her husband's death in the group was shorter for the client?This technique is called Hon Sha Ze Sho Nen.Changing your perspective and decide to learn Reiki symbols are also reports that although there are some teachers who teach Reiki attunement on the patient that any of the time of day.The brow chakra and the infected appendix.Here you will surely have a very intuitive thing and easiest thing to keep focused and provide a distraction.

What's interesting is that I had warped time subconsciously.Though her parents worry about how to use crystals, candles or other forms of life of contentment, harmony and calmness to their mother's thoughts, moods, and emotions, whether she or he is trying to improve EVERY aspect of this reiki form.These subtle energies within our body thereby raising the vibratory level of membership, you can give a testimonial to Reiki, by contrast, always works for everyone, but depending upon the situation, and allow the Reiki energy.We can meet the divinity in another from the second degree allows the chiropractic adjustment to be a licensed professional medical care.Reiki goes to the area, and the recipient has a worldwide presence.