#eskel/julian

[fanby-fckry]

Ciri: *angrily* ARE YOU-

Jaskier: *calmly* Fucking

Ciri: KIDDING ME?! YOU-

Jaskier: Fucking

Ciri: IDIOT!

Eskel: ...what was that?

Jaskier: Yen and Geralt banned Ciri from swearing, so I’ve volunteered to help her out.

[fandom-junk-drawer]

What Jaskier sees daily as he wanders the grounds of Kaer Morhen

(Vesemir is crying in a corner somewhere because his sons are idiots)

[help-help-i-need-an-adult]

[spilledbutter]

alright back on my fae!jaskier bullshit

there are myths of fairies assuming the guise of animals

imagining jaskier in animal form acting as a companion for the witchers and helping them out in times of need

like lambert is getting stiffed by an alderman so jaskier turns into a magpie and starts pecking the shit out of the alderman and shitting in his hair until he drops his coin purse for lambert to take

geralt gets injured on a really difficult hunt and jaskier turns into a horse and hauls him bodily back to camp

eskel needs help getting information for a quest so jaskier turns into a mouse and sneaks into rooms and listens to conversations to help him spy and reports back what he's learned

but ALSO imagining him using his powers for evil

jaskier couldn't sleep all night and is up before eskel for once. he turns into a rooster and wakes him right the fuck up because he's bored

jaskier turning into a horse to talk shit about geralt with roach. they keep neighing and whinnying together and geralt gets progressively more and more annoyed. he will not tell geralt what was said

he and lambert need to cross a fast-moving river and the bridge is broken. jaskier, the little shit, turns into a fish and swims easily across. lambert has to figure out how to cross on his own

i could honestly keep going this is so fucking funny to me

[underpreparedbard]

Respond to this with a pick-up line Jaskier would use on the Kaer Morons

[solcorvidae]

Modern Witcher AU: My Headcanons (part 2 of ?)

Jaskier was put in a ton of winter sports as a kid. He knows how to ski and ice skate very well. He can snowboard but prefers skiing.

Geralt, on the other hand, never learned to skate. He and Eskel have not been able to find skates that fit their boot size since they were teenagers.

Geralt likes yard work more than other household chores. He likes maintaining the garden and arranging a nice living space to hangout in and Jaskier is very appreciative.

Jaskier is usually super busy in the winter months. He attends get togethers, dinners, parties, etc. Geralt does the opposite. He and his family head home for some time to relax and catch up with one another after being on the road. They don’t often do big activities or social events, mostly staying in the house with each other for the duration of their stay.

Geralt, Eskel, and Lambert shared a room until Geralt started to get into his teen years. Their childhood room had a bunk bed for the two oldest boys and a single bed for Lambert. Lambert eventually took over Vesemir’s office and it was converted to his new room. Now, they each have normal bed frames that sit on the floor.

Geralt wears a dark brown, felt, pinch front cowboy hat. He is very attuned to the etiquette and superstitious beliefs around wearing one.

Eskel and Jaskier are the same height (6’0)

Geralt is 6’3 but often people assume he’s shorter. He slouches when he sits and tries to take up as little metaphorical space in the room as he can. When he stands up, his posture is straight as a board and this adds to the surprise many people feel when they see how tall he really is.

Eskel is the opposite. He has a large but warm and inviting presence when he enters a room. He makes himself known and takes up a lot of space with his big personality. People often assume he must be taller than he really is and are often surprised when they stand next to him and see eye to eye.

Lambert is 5’11 and bitter about it.

Eskel has textured, somewhat oily skin but shockingly left his acne struggles in his teen years.

Geralt was blessed with little to no acne most of his life—including as a teenager.

Lambert hasn’t quite grown out of it and still gets the occasional (relatively mild) blemish. They usually appear when his disposable razor starts to get dull and begins to irritate the skin--Geralt tries to get him to invest in a safety razor, to no avail.

All three boys share a bathroom at Vesemir's house and Vesemir has his own tiny ensuite bathroom. He doesn't care if they trash their own space as long as it doesn't start growing mysterious molds…

Everyone having different hair colours (especially Geralt) meant that it was difficult to blame each other for hair left in the bottom of the tub/sink. But oh did Lambert try.

They are banned from using Vesemir's bathroom unless they absolutely have to. The shower however, is non negotiable. It is off limits altogether.

The only exception to this rule is when any of the boys are sick. When one of them is ill, Vesemir sets them up on the floor with blankets and a pillow so they don't have to keep running to the bathroom in the middle of the night. It also helps that he can keep an eye on them and monitor if they start getting worse or need to go to urgent care—Eskel was particularly bad for lying about not being sick for a long time.

As a child Geralt would wake up every night in the middle of the night from the dead of sleep and be afraid to fall back asleep on his own. He always climbed to the top bunk where Eskel slept and he felt safe. If Eskel wasn't there or he didn't want to wake him, Geralt would walk to Vesemir's room to fall asleep in his dads bed where he felt just as safe. It took him a long time to grow out of this habit.

Even though his boys are all grown up, Vesemir would never turn them away from any sort of "childish" comfort, especially when they're going through a particularly hard time. If they ever needed a hug or wanted to fall asleep in his room, all they had to do was ask.

[Modern AU Headcanon Masterpost]

[random-apollo-child]

Jaskier geralt ciri yen and some other witchers walk into a town

Jask: I've been here before.... let's leave

Cöen: why do you wanna leave

Lambert: bard, what did you do

Jask: I- *scoffs* why in the world would you think I did anything

Geralt: jask what the fuck did you do

Yen: you very clearly did something

Jaskier the chaotic neutral bard: I may or may not have set a few building on flame

Ciri who thought jaskier was a lawful good person: *Spits out water* you fucking what??

Papa vesmir concerned: bard what the flying fuck

Jaskier the white wolf's bard: it happened like 7 winters ago

Eskel: what the FUCK

[dapandapod]

Brave your neck to see the sun

Just another thing that lives in my head rent free that is half a fic, half an idea, that begs to be written, so here is the mix of it. And because who I am as a person, I slapped it on Ao3 as well.

(cw, lettenhove has fallen, sad stuff in general, loss of family, their spirits)

Because....

Cursed Jaskier.

I mean, he is immortal, and his home, Lettenhove, is but crumbled rock by now, and jaskier is tied to their ruins. 

And maybe madness is threatening in the corner of his eye, maybe the past is talking to him, maybe the stones remembered what they looked like in ages past.

And Jaskier cannot leave.

Maybe this is where jaskier goes after the mountain, because when he last was home, it was still standing.

But the land is fallen, burned, ash on his tongue.

Maybe there was a curse put on the stones rather than him, keeping what remains of the family bound to the ground, for the dynasty to defend against an army should they return.

And Jaskier is caught in the ruins, and the remains of his family and his childhood.

Geralt finds Ciri, and she dreams of Yennefer, yes, but she cant' stop dreaming of a land that was, and she feels herself pulled there, but it is too dangerous, because it is on the other side of the army following her.

When they finally go, the survivors in the gathering of houses on the outskirts of Lettenhove speak of a ghost, of lights as the darkness is falling, of the sound of crying, and singing, sometimes laughing.

It takes time for them to make it up there, the magic fighting them every step of the way, making it treacherous and dangerous.

Jaskier can hear them coming, but they are not the first ones attempting to seek the treasures of what once was, and he hides.

They find a lute, broken in what seems in a fit of rage against the stones. some of the strings are still connecting the neck to the body, and Geralt feels a pang of fear when he recognizes it.

Jaskier has had time to make many hiding spots, a routa of sorts, of small camps. There are weeds growing around the cracked stones, sticking up defiantly, baring their necks to see the sun.

Eventually Geralt finds Jaskier, hiding in one of the crumbled rooms, a half burned painting propped up against the wall, a little girl with one eye covered with yellow locks looking out, holding the hand of her older brother.

Jaskier holds his dagger out, until he realizes who it is.

Geralt doesn’t know how to break the curse, and it hurts Jaskier to leave. They can’t stay with him, and to not raise suspicion they have to leave him behind.

Jaskier watches them leave, and he knows that he won’t see them again. Why would Geralt come back after all, now that Jaskier finally can’t follow.

He waits until he can’t see them anymore, until he believes they can’t hear him anymore, and he screams out his frustrations, voice echoing against the stones.

Eventually Yennefer finds him, and she has the solution. Not a pleasant one, but one that allows him to leave.

His bloodline is tied to this place, imprinted on him when his fathers father brought him underground and a small child, and put his blood among his ancestors.

What Jaskier thought was madness was instead shattered remains of a spirit.

With the witch’s help, Jaskier’s mother’s spirit wakes, and she cries when she sees her son.

“Where were you?” She asks, she grieves, she screams, until her rage has run its course.

More spirits rise, and Yennefer keeps them safe in the middle of the courtyard.

The curse can’t be lifted, but they learn that Jaskier can be freed, can move on from his past if he lifts his imprint away from the stone.

A grave hag has taken residence below, her cackling and grunting traveling up the stairs, and Yennefer too must leave Jaskier, to bring a witcher to help.

Her magic is still fragile, and she places her hand on Jaskier’s cheek as he takes her goodbye, leaving him with the spirits of his family.

Eventually it is Eskel who kills the hag, keeping Jaskier company when he laughs a little too loudly, his eyes a little too wide with unrest and grief.

When Yennefer finally returns, she brings Geralt and Ciri once more, and they are surprised to see Eskel by Jaskier’s side, the hag dealt with.

Yennefer presses Jaskier’s cut palm against the cold stone of his ancestors, chanting as she recalls his blood, distangles his past from the stone.

Above, the ruins creak and groan, the spirits growing agitated. They shriek and they trash and they try to protect their home from the intruders.

When they emerge, Jaskier is quiet. He is quiet as he tests his first steps outside the ruin grounds, and he is quiet when he looks back to what was his home, and then his prison.

The ground is covered in weeds, slowly dancing in the wind, the spirits keeping their own company.

Lettenhove is no more, and the ruins remain unbothered. 

Sometimes Jaskier returns, just to speak with his sister. Sometimes he sings to his mother, and talks about the worldly affairs with his father.

Jaskier is not tied to the stone anymore, but his spirit will not rest until his family does.

Ciri doesn’t dream of the ruins anymore, but sometimes she gets a faraway look, takes Jaskier’s hand, and asks if he would take her to the coast.

Geralt and Yennefer never reconnected after the djinn. and eventually finds another djinn to break the wish.

She finds her own way, even if it is connected to Ciri’s, and she finds her own destiny in the shape of a Merigold.

It takes time for Geralt to build up what he broke. Takes time to figure out how friendship works, and even more so when Geralt figures out his own feelings towards the bard.

The bard is not the same man, how could he be, but he grows anyway. Grows like a defiant weed in the cracks of a stone, baring their neck to see the sun. 

[dftea]

Give all you have been or could be

Accidental Warlord AU (@inexplicifics). Aiden/Sasha, Lambert/Milena, Livi/Dragonfly, Eskel/Geralt/Jaskier - All Is Not As It Seems

or

Duke Aleksander of Velen, Lady Milena de Roggeven, Lady Oliwia Bartol, and Viscount Julian de Lettenhove are plagued by strange visitors to their noble houses.

Who are these black-clad intruders and why are they so determined to disturb their isolated perfect lives?

But all is not as it seems.

[read on ao3]

[jaskierror]

in ways that can't be said — chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE — SNORES & SNORTS

Geralt, a very tired and very overworked librarian, finds an eccentrically dressed man asleep in the library right as they're about to close.

Jaskier, a very tired and very overworked educator at the local museum, accidentally falls asleep in a library whilst doing research for an upcoming exhibit and is awoken by a devastatingly attractive librarian.

---

By the time closing rolled around, Geralt really, truly, honestly just wanted to go home.

In general, Geralt preferred to not work closing shifts. The library stayed open until 7pm most evenings, but he liked to be home with Ciri as early as possible; Lambert was always happy to watch her until Geralt got off work, given that Lambert’s job in Dol Blathanna’s Public Works department wasn’t a traditional 9-to-5, but, well. Geralt missed his daughter, is all, and was perhaps a bit clingy when it came to her. Sue him for loving his kid.

Despite his reluctance to work past 5pm, Renfri had caught the flu, and Geralt had agreed to cover her shift while she recovered, meaning he would be at the library until about 7:30. Of course, by the time it was half past 5, he was itching to get home—by then, he would normally be pulling into his driveway in Upper Posada, and Ciri would be running outside to greet him while Lambert watched them with poorly disguised fondness from the front porch. He would pick his daughter up, balance her on his hip, ask her about her day at school and what she and her Uncle Lambert had been up to since she got home. He would get to kiss her on her forehead, and cook dinner (lately, she had become a big fan of dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets), and—

Anyway. Enough of that.

The minutes and hours ticked by with relentless, deliberate slowness, and Geralt felt nothing but relief when it was finally,  finally time  to start closing. Zoltan offered to organize the information desk and the front seating areas while Geralt swept the shelves for any stragglers and re-shelved any books sitting around.

Geralt worked quickly, eager to finish up and return home—in the back of his mind, he wondered what Lambert and Ciri had eaten for dinner—and he was returning a book of traditional Temerian recipes to its rightful shelf when he heard…

Well.

It seemed to be somewhere between a snore and a snort, in all honesty, and Geralt could only sigh deeply and brace himself before rounding the corner.

He had been expecting any of a number of things, really. Typically, it was elderly people who would fall asleep at the tables, but in his years of working at the library, Geralt had practically seen it all.

Still, he was surprised when, in one of the cushioned wooden chairs, slumped down onto the round table and surrounded by a veritable pile of books, was a man with a mop of brown hair actively using an open book as a pillow. There was a peaceful expression on his face, features soft and neutral and relaxed, and he seemed to be drooling onto the book just a bit. His clothing was… colourful, mostly. He wore a pair of bright purple slacks and brown loafers. On top of a short-sleeved button down, he had on a sweater vest with a garish blue leaf pattern covering it. There was a well-made leather satchel slung over the back of his chair, and Geralt spotted an assortment of silver rings on his hand.

Right as Geralt finished looking him over, the man released another ungodly snore from deep within his chest, and Geralt had to resist the urge to snort in amusement as he walked over and shook the man gently by his shoulder. Almost immediately, he grumbled into the book and began to blink awake, and Geralt hastily removed his hand, waiting patiently as he got his wits about him.

After a quick stretch in his seat, the man twisted to face him, still blinking the tiredness from his eyes, and Geralt was shocked by just how blue they were as he stared up at Geralt. The man froze for a moment, looking a bit like a deer caught in the headlights, before he seemed to take in his surroundings and look properly embarrassed.

“Sorry,” the man grinned sheepishly, then paused to yawn and rub at his eye before continuing. “I must’ve fallen asleep. Do you, uh, happen to know what time it is?”

Geralt looked down at his watch, then back up at the man. “Five till seven.”

“Oh, fuck,” he cursed, standing up. (Geralt was slightly ashamed to admit that he hadn’t realized until just then that the man was of a height with him.) He began hastily stacking books and piling some in his arms. “Is there still time to check these out? I can come back tomorrow if not, but I was really hoping that I—”

“Calm down,” Geralt said, raising an eyebrow at the man’s hurried, panicked flurry of movement. “Go to the desk. Zoltan can help you. You can leave anything you’re not borrowing here.”

Relief and hope flashed though the man’s unnecessarily blue eyes. “You’re sure?”

Geralt just nodded stiffly, watching as the man thanked him profusely and gathered his things, carrying a handful of books with him as he rushed off toward the lobby. Once he’d disappeared and his shuffling footsteps faded out, Geralt rummaged through the rest of the titles he’d accumulated. They all seemed to be on art and music across the Continent—a book of Aedirnian folk songs, a history of Kerackian musical movements, an encyclopaedia of Kaedweni sculptors. Geralt hummed under his breath, then began the monotonous job of putting everything in its rightful place.

---

In his defense, Jaskier really hadn’t meant to fall asleep at the table.

Ever since he’d moved to Aedirn, he found himself exhausted more often than not. His life had consisted of a series of rather sporadic, spontaneous moves ever since he decided to leave his family home in Kerack to pursue the arts. He’d moved to Redania years ago to attend none other than Oxenfurt Academy, and had spent his summers gallivanting around the countryside with his schoolfriends. After three years of study, he graduated with degrees in Music Performance and Art History, and a year later, had earned a graduate degree as well. He had then promptly departed for a year of backpacking through Temeria, after which he’d returned to Oxenfurt to teach for a term. Most recently, he had uprooted his entire life to move to Dol Blathanna. He’d decided on a bit of a whim that he needed a change of pace—new places, new sights, new people. As soon as he had a job lined up as an educator and program developer at the Dol Blathanna’s Museum of Art and History—which, everyone had to admit, was truly a perfect fit for him—he had packed his things and been on his way.

That had been nearly two months ago, and Jaskier had been working overtime to establish a life for himself in the city. He’d always been a restless person, needing noise and hustle and bustle to keep himself sane, so he had signed a lease for a rather expensive apartment close to the city’s center. On the bright side, the location made his commute to work rather convenient, and he was near enough to nightlife that he had found a handful of bars and cafés he could play the occasional gig at. He’d also taken to offering music lessons on the weekends to help make ends meet. Between his musical pursuits, unpredictable work hours, and numerous side jobs, he was, well. Pretty tired, all things considered.

However, there was no time to rest! He had been tasked with a laundry list of assignments at work in order to prepare for the summer; the museum always put on educational programming and enrichment opportunities for children when schools were out of session, and Jaskier’s job was to propose and develop said programming. Thus, on one of his rare days off, he had gone to the library to do a bit of light research; he had a handful of ideas for some interactive exhibits, but he needed to flesh them out a bit more.

The research ended up being less light than he had planned, because of course it had, and soon enough, Jaskier had a pile of books around him. By the time he had finished flipping through the third book, he was becoming rather tired, and—

Okay, well. Look. Here’s the thing. Jaskier was tired, and he had been up until very early in the morning because he’d played a gig for some swanky hotel bar in the central business district, and the library was just cold enough that it was making him drowsy, and the sounds of people flipping through pages and trodding up and down the aisles was soothing him, and the books were, in all honesty, starting to bore him, and—

He fell asleep. He fell asleep, okay, and in his opinion, that was a very reasonable consequence given the clusterfuck of a headache his week had been.

Next thing he knew, he was being shaken awake by a man gorgeous enough that Jaskier, for a brief moment, froze in place and forgot entirely where he was. (He froze, which he never does. Julian Alfred Pankratz does not freeze, gods dammit, but sweet Melitele, who could blame him? The man was stunning.) He was tall and broad-shouldered, his long white hair tied messily into an updo with a few strands framing his face; he had honey-golden eyes, a strong brow and nose and jawline, and a few faint scars decorating his face. He wore a white button-down with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and a very flattering pair of black jeans. He also, much to Jaskier’s embarrassment, had a name-tag; in large letters, it read GERALT RIVIA, and underneath, in smaller text, LIBRARIAN . The library’s logo was depicted to the left.

A very gorgeous man, and a librarian to boot? Unfair.

Though he tried to appear smooth and suave and generally like a competent, put-together adult, Jaskier knew he fumbled through his interaction with the man, and he felt a bit like a fool the entire time. As he practically scurried off with his handful of books, his face and neck warmed with embarrassment. At the desk, he found the “Zoltan” individual Geralt had spoken of, a short, stocky man with a mohawk and full beard, and Jaskier hurried through the transaction before practically fleeing from the library. It wasn’t until he had returned to his apartment nearly twenty minutes later that he finally felt like he could breathe again.

He went through his evening routine of taking a scalding hot shower, changing into pajamas, and lounging on his couch with leftover takeout and a glass of Est Est. (Est Est was definitely beyond what he could afford at the moment; that particular bottle had been a farewell gift from Essi.) As he ate and drank, he flipped through the books he had checked out and wrote out ideas, notes, and questions in his work notebook. And if he occasionally remembered his downright embarrassing encounter at the library and then buried his face in a pillow as he tried to emotionally recover, that was nobody’s business but his own.

As the hours passed and the clock crept closer to midnight, he’d come up with more questions than anything else, which was. A bit of an issue.

Even with his extensive studies in art history, Jaskier didn’t know as much about Aedirnian artistic customs—his studies had placed a focus on traditions in remote, mountainous regions of Redania and Kaedwen. He could talk for hours about the production of Redanian watercolour paints, and had quite literally co-written one of the most comprehensive books on Kaedweni folk music, but he’d wanted the museum’s summer programming to have an emphasis on local arts, which meant that he’d need some help.

He then realized that this probably meant asking one of his new coworkers for direction, which he would, to be quite frank, rather perish than do, because he felt that most of them already thought he was silly and foppish and deeply unserious, with the way he was always running to and fro with his head barely attached to his shoulders, never seen without a cup of coffee and bags under his eyes. However, it was either facing his coworkers, all of whom had chronic cases of stick-up-the-ass-itis, or… going back to the library, and potentially facing the tall-gorgeous-intimidating librarian again. (Geralt, his brain supplied helpfully.)

Neither option sounded particularly appealing, and both avenues would undoubtedly lead to Jaskier making a fool of himself, so he decided that he would simply go to the library as soon as it opened at nine in the morning; he severely doubted that the man would be working from nine to seven on a daily basis, so he was probably in the clear.

…Probably.

---

AN: hey y'all! hope you enjoy chapter 1!! keep up with me on my ao3, found +here, and my twitter @nottveth. chapters 2 and 3 are already written and posted on ao3, but will be updated here over the next few days.

[drop-dead-art]

guys i am fucking DYING i am SLAIN

This story is “Fuck (and I mean that in the best way possible” by LunaEclipse and I LOVE IT. It’s a modern!au where Geralt has aphasia after a motorcycle accident, Jaskier is a new neighbor who immediately accepts Geralt (because that’s what our sweet cinnamon roll does) and guys i just love it so much

[fanby-fckry]

Yennefer: *Screams*

Jaskier: *Screams louder to establish dominance*

Eskel: Should we do something?

Lambert: No, I want to see who wins.

[fandom-junk-drawer]

What Jaskier sees while watching the Kaer Morons do repairs to the Keep.

[help-help-i-need-an-adult]

Modern AU:

Kaer Moron’s Family Car

@0dde11eth @everything-but-the-not-natural @i-pet-spuders @fandom-junk-drawer @dancinginmyoldsatindress @thequeeninyellowlace

[spilledbutter]

so you guys ready for s3 in july or what

i'm expecting a lot of very important plot developments, given everything we know so far:

jaskier wears eyeliner in every scene. no exceptions

bisexuality is canon. go buckwild, no exceptions to this either

gordon is upgraded from "guest star" to "main cast" (king)

new roach is upgraded from "guest star" to "main cast" (queen)

eskel didn't actually die, it was a doppler. yeehaw

something something cat witchers something lambden

evil!jaskier for real (come on, just one episode)(as a treat!)

[eggcompany]

Jaskier and His Snuggly Wuggly Killing Machines Part 17

Spin off from our story 'Jaskier and the Snuggly Wuggly Killing Machines' !!!

The story of Aiden and Lambert's marriage. Includes mentions of blood and sexual dysfunction.

“Daddy… um… Jaskier, can we talk to you. Alone. For just a minute.” Lambert asked quietly. He was holding tightly onto Aiden’s hand as they both looked down in front of Jaskier. Jaskier was sitting on the porch writing down some lyrics and ideas as Eskel fluttered around his planters. Geralt was laying out in the sunlight. Jaskier looked at the cats, worriedly. 

“Yes, yeah of course. Eskel, I’m gonna step into the house for a moment, stay out here with Bear. Come on kitties.” Jaskier says and calls to the eldest who nods. Jaskier steps into the living room and the two motioned for him to sit down on the couch. They sit close to each other on the opposite side of the plush black couch looking at him nervously. 

“What’s this about? Are you two okay? What’s going on?” Jaskier said and looked between the two. Both were blushing and looked rather nervous. Oh gods what if it’s a preganc-

“We wanted to ask for your blessing.” Lambert spit out really quickly. It pulled Jaskier out of his own mind. Jaskier looked confused for a moment before Aiden took a deep breath and explained. 

“Roy wants to move away. He doesn’t want to bring me with him since I… have Lambert here. He agreed to let me choose where I go and I talked to Lambert for so long and… We want to know if you’d give blessing to our marriage? I wanna stay here, with my mate. I think I’d die of heartbreak if I had to leave him again…” Aiden said and let his eyes flash up to Jaskier’s a few times. Jaskier listened intently. He stared at them before his jaw dropped and he smiled widely. 

“Oh. My. Gods. YES!!!! Oh yes yes yes! What kind of unions do witchers partake in? Oh I’ll have so much food delivered and we can do whatever you want! Oh my babies are getting married! Oh finally! I’ll have to call Roy for your papers. Oh my gods Yes yes yes yes yes!” Jaskier said and jumped to pull the boys into a big hug. He kissed both of their cheeks and foreheads and all over their faces. Both boys hugged back and started saying thank you’s. When Jaskier pulled back he saw that they had tears in their eyes. 

“Thank you Jaskier. Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Aiden cried and hugged Lambert. They had wanted to do this since they were young… before they were even out in the world. They cried and held onto each other chanting thank you’s. Jaskier jumped and stepped outside. 

“BOYS! Come congratulate your brothers!” Jaskier says and goes back and hugs them together again. Eskel walks in first and sees them crying. 

“You told him? Yes? Oh Jaskier you said they could?!” Eskel smiled widely and hugged the newly engaged pair. Geralt walked in and kissed Lambert’s cheek. 

“Finally. Finally Lammy. You get to have your union.” Geralt whispered and teared up as he spoke to Lambert. Lambert smiled and looked so happy he might burst. Aiden doesn’t look much different. They kiss and Geralt and Eskel move to stand next to Jaskier. 

“Witcher’s practice blood unions. Vesemir might still have what we need. It’s palm pricking or slicing and then being tied together by silk, usually a scarf or just a strip of fabric. I’ll use the house phone to call Vesemir.” Eskel explained. Geralt wiped his tears and nodded. 

“I’ll help them find something nice to wear on the laptop. Oh my gods they’re finally getting to marry.” Geralt said. He felt like a weeping mother but he walked to the basement to get the laptop Jaskier had bought for them. Jaskier smiled and bent down to kiss the boy’s cheeks. 

“I will call Roy and have him mail me your papers. Can I tell Yennefer? She’ll be over the moon.” Jaskier asks and pulls out his cell phone. Lambert sniffs up his nose and nods. 

“Yeah, Aunty Yenn can know, we don’t want it to be a secret. You can tell whoever you want.” Aiden explained and quickly pulled Lambert to face him completely and seal their lips together tightly. 

Jaskier patted their heads and quickly clicked Yennefer’s number. It rang two times before she picked up. 

“Hey Ja-”

“MY BABIES ARE GETTING MARRIED! Get your ass over here.” Jaskier said excitedly. Yennefer was quiet for a moment. She had just been yelled at but still…

“If it’s not Lammy and Aiden I’m gonna skin them alive.” She said quietly. Jaskier laughed and ended her worries. 

“Yes, it's Aiden and Lambert. Now come on, we need to plan!” Jaskier said happily and hung up. He started thinking. 

He had some space in the back outside the fence… maybe enough room for a little ‘loveshack’...

“Lammy! Baby, darling, my mushy wushy little angel! What can aunty get you for your wedding? What do you want?” Yennefer asked a few days away from the union. 

The transfer papers were getting processed and on the way. The plan was for Vesemir to kind of officiate, he would prick the boy’s palms (the father of higher status was supposed to but Vesemir was their Papa.) and Jaskier would tie the silk scarf (the lesser man’s job, Jaskier was still quite honored).

There was a large tarp hanging from the two trees that stood at the corners of the backyard. Behind it workers built a small building. Luckily enough the plumbing could be run by digging alongside the fence. It was a small little building that resembled a mini version of a farmhouse. 

There was a space with just enough room to fit a king size bed with a closet attached. There was a small bathroom with an average sized tub, toilet, and sink. There was a main area of the house that had a TV, pull out couch, a small fridge, and a countertop along one wall. There was a square ‘porch’ in front of the door that Jaskier had decided to put so they love birds could have flowers or maybe a few rocking chairs. It was a quaint little home that was only right outside the mansion’s back door. Yennefer and Jaskier had ordered and hid all the supplies to decorate and fancy up the house once the painters were done. 

“Um… Me and Aiden might want a few new blankies… big ones. Cause we really like our blankies now! We do! They’re so soft and nice and snuggly but they can’t fit around us both good. That would be really nice Aunty.” Lammy said from where he had his head laid on her lap. 

She was scratching lightly at his ears and just enjoying his purrs that mingled with the other kitty asleep on his chest. Aiden was dead asleep after getting loved on all day by Vesemir and the other boys. Yennefer smiled down at the kit and ruffled his hair. 

“Of course! Are you sure that’s all? You know I won’t tell daddy what you ask for.” Yennefer reminded him. Sometimes it was easier for the pups to ask her for something if they were embarrassed. Geralt had asked for ‘lady undergarments ’ a few months ago, he really just wanted to feel pretty.. Jaskier had found out because Geralt liked to wear them to bed, though during the days he wore them under his boxer briefs. Eskel wanted a heating pad for his leg cramps but didn’t want Jaskier to know about his cramps so Yennefer didn’t tell. Lambert knew about the things she’d given his brothers. 

Lambert flushed red at a thought. He didn’t want to seem...lewd. Sure Aiden had entertained him but they hadn’t been able to… couple. Neutered and all.  He looked down at where Aiden was face down on his stomach. 

“You won’t think I’m icky?” Lambert says quietly and looks at the ceiling instead of at the woman. Yennefer moved her hand to cradle the cat’s face. 

“Nope. I won’t think you’re icky.” Yennefer reassured and ran her thumb up and down across his cheek. Lambert bit his bottom lip and scrunched his eyebrows together for a moment before sighing and relaxing. 

“Can I ask you for medicine?” He whispered. Yennefer was confused. Was this like Eskel and his cramps?

“Of course dear, I’m a doctor, you can ask me for medicine. What kind of medicine do you need?” Yennefer whispered back. She had learned that when the babes whispered, you best whisper back if you want an answer. Lambert looked down at his snoozing mate. 

“Something so we can… consummate our marriage… if it’s possible.” He says in a voice barely loud enough for the woman to hear. Yennefer smiled down at him and rubbed at the base of his ears. 

“I think I can pull some strings.” She said and Lambert broke out in a big smiled, face still tomato red. 

Time was ticking. Tomorrow was the day. And Jaskier was absolutely shitting himself. 

He had posted the announcement online and had been flooded with packages and letters and messages for the last three days! He had to go to the post office every day to go collect his P.O. box and yes he appreciated everything but it was so overwhelming! Him and Yennefer stayed up late going through and weeding out the bad packages from the good gifts. There were brushes and treats and homemade socks and hats and quite a few blankets. And the letters! Hundreds of letters. Some to the boys, some to Jaskier, some to Geralt who had become the boy most of the fans thirsted for… (Jaskier kept those to himself. Geralt wouldn’t like reading most of them.)

And then there was the Kitty House which was perfect but some of the decorations were still in postage. 

He was every color of flustered and struggling. 

Thankfully Vesemir was happy to help and contain the babes and help the cats choose the day. 

Yennefer also helped. 

She mostly situated the new small home. She had chosen the entirety of what it would look like. From the dark stained walnut hardwood floors to the rustic theme that flowed through the house. The green walls, warm browns, blacks, and tans. She had accent carpets, squared ceiling lamps, and a fully stocked bedside table. Matching towels and accents in the bathroom.  You automatically felt at home in the house. It also helped that she had been lighting a nice honey candle while she worked. Jaskier walked around looking at everything one last time before he would lock the door until the next day when he would present it to the newlyweds. He checked the kitchen. Snacks, drinks, cans of spaghetti Os and Ravioli, running water, ice maker…

With a sigh of relief and locked the door and walked back to their own home. 

What a disaster. 

There were four boys dead asleep in the middle of the floor in a big shirtless pile with Vesemir resting in the recliner, rocking back and forth gently. Past that though? Piles. Piles of dishes in the sink, decorations in boxes to be put up in the morning, boxes upon boxes of gifts for the kittens from himself, his friends, and thousands of fans around the world. Piles of blankets and pillows that were once a nest but the boys had grown too hot for. Jaskier sighed again, this time in discontent and started cleaning up. 

He finished the dishes as Yennefer made her way through the entry. She looked over at Jaskier at the sink and snickered as she peaked at the sleeping pups, smiling lightly at the small sleep noises they were making. 

“You’re tired, aren’t you.” She said and leaned her hip against the counter top to the man’s left. He looked at her and rolled his eyes. Even after a shift at the hospital, she still somehow looked like a model. It was disgusting. 

“Yeah. I’m actually fucking exhausted. Mind if I take a nap?” He asked. He felt like he could fall asleep on the floor at the moment. Yennefer walked to stand beside him and wrapped her arms around him. 

“You’re a good daddy to them, Jask, you’re doing such a good job. They are happy, healthy, and they love you. Go take a nap. I’ll order burgers for dinner. Go sleep Julian.” Yennefer said and patted his back. She shoved him toward the stairs but just the thought of climbing them made him want to die. Jaskier instead walked to the end of the couch and flopped down face first and wiggled around until his head was on a pillow. He closed his eyes and was dead to the world. 

“No Papa, you have to hold him. He holds us when we get too sleepy. We can’t! You’re the papa.” Floated into Jaskier’s ears as he slowly came out of what must be the best sleep he’s had all week. 

He felt heavenly heavy as he slowly woke up. He listened for a moment before opening his eyes. 

“Babies, shush, you have to be quieter.” Jaskier realized it was Vesemir’s voice, deep and barely above a whisper. What he found confusing though is that the couch rumbled when he spoke. How odd.

Jaskier cracked open his eyes and was met with a sight. He was laying in the eldest witcher’s lap, head resting against his shoulder, with all four youngin’s sitting around the recliner chair. Geralt was sitting on the floor with his chin resting against the arm of the chair watching Jaskier with big round eyes. Eskel had his head propped on his fist on the footrest of the chair, Vesemir must’ve flipped it up while Jaskier slept, looking like he was almost asleep again. Lambert and Aiden were behind him resting against the side of the chair dozing peacefully, facing each other. 

“Oh, hi daddy…” Geralt said when Jaskier blinked and locked eyes with him. Vesemir had one hand wrapped around his waist and rubbed gently at his side as Jaskier yawned. 

“The boys insisted that I had to hold you because that’s what you do to them when they sleep. I didn’t mind.” Vesemir said as he lightly squeezed  Jaskier’s hip. The man sat up and stretched to plant a soft kiss to the older man’s cheek. A light pink rose up to his cheeks as Jaskier was pulled over the side of the chair into Geralt’s lap. 

“Thank you Vesemir, that was very sweet of you to do. Geralt?” Jaskier said from his seat in the cuddle witcher’s lap. Geralt wrapped his arms tightly around Jaskier’s torso, shoving his face into Jaskier’s neck. His ears tickled at Jaskier’s face.

“Yes daddy?” Geralt replied sweetly without removing his face from the warm skin of Jaskier’s neck. He was inhaling deeply, taking in the nice scent of his daddy’s skin and hair. 

“Can you let me up?” Jaskier said in a soft love filled voice. Geralt nodded and lifted Jaskier up by the hips. Jaskier smiled, his boys were so strong. Jaskier stretched his arms above his head. 

“Okay, everyone up. Dinner, bathes, then bed. We have a big day tomorrow.” Jaskier announced as the boys tiredly stood and made their way to the kitchen where Yennefer was on the phone. 

Oh Lords…. My babies are getting married.

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Jaskier woke up at 4 a.m. He woke up in his bed, alone for once in many months. Alone in the bed, not alone in the room. The floor however was a mindfield. Geralt was at the foot of the bed sucking lightly on the tip of Eskel’s tail. Eskel was face down in the carpet with one leg straight and the other bent, his usual position due to his habitual self soothing at night. Aiden and Lambert were closely cuddled on the large pile of quilts that usually occupied the floor beside the bed. 

Jaskier tipped toed carefully around them in the dark room, cautious to not trip on a blanket or step on a tail. He closed the door behind himself as he walked to the kitchen. Yennefer was already sitting on the couch with the TV on, warm cup of coffee in her hand. She smiled at him as he flumped down in the chair closest to the couch. A documentary about the fall of Witcher Guard Animal training and creations was on with subtitles. Yennefer waved and flicked it over to a show about sharks. 

“Just… learning. How do we feel Mr. Father-of-the-Groom?” Yennefer said quietly as she looked at the man. Jaskier had dark circles under his eyes and looked absolutely exhausted. 

“Great.” Jaskier said and cracked a true big smile. His corn blue eyes sparkled with joy. Yennefer smiled and stood up. 

Only so many hours in a day and at least two needed to be dedicated to coffee and started the meals and double checking. 

Hours rolled by. The two humans worked calmly. Jaskier felt more and more relaxed the more they got done. He felt calm as he wove flower chains from the fresh flowers that had been delivered. It was therapeutic. One foot turned into a yard turned into a dozen yards and soon the flowers were hung in a large loop in the backyard from wooden stakes. He breathed easily as he wove more and more chains to hang down from the ring and created a curtain of blossoms of all colors. 

Soon the sun warmed away the grass’s dew and he laid out the blankets and mats Eskel, Geralt, and Vesemir had made. ‘ Customs, Jaskier’ he’d been told. They were large, loosely woven and made from all sorts of fabric that he assumed Vesemir had provided. They covered all the ground from the bottom of the steps of the patio to the ring to flowers and all the ground inside the ring. 

Yennefer was busy in the kitchen. She had cleaned the fridge out and organized what was needed for the large dinner. The food should arrive right before the ceremony. She made sure the outfits that were chosen were clean and spiffy.  The outfits being a royal blue button up shirt, an olive green button up shirt, and two matching pairs of brown trousers.

Vesemir said he’d dress the boys and take care of the beforehand preparations of the cats. He had shown Jaskier the red silken scarf that was once used in many ceremonies and unions in the old Kaer. 

Soon 9 a.m. came around, a thunk rang out through the quiet house. It was followed by a white haired witcher quietly stepping down the stairs. Jaskier watched him yawn and stretch his tail as he walked. Jaskier stopped tying up a gift a fan had sent, it was a rather nice set of squishy blue chew toys, to watch the nude wolf make his way to the bottom three steps. When Geralt reached the third to last step he stopped, eyes wide. 

“Hi” He said and reached to cover himself. He usually wasn’t so modest but apparently the presence of a few small dark looking bruises scattered around his thighs turned him into a prude. Jaskier raised an eyebrow at him and smiled. 

“Good morning Bear, what’re you up too? Wanna come have breakfast?” He asked as if he didn’t see the hickies near the base of his tail as he turned around to walk quickly back up the stairs. 

“No daddy! Thanks but not hungry!” He said and walked back toward Jaskier’s door. Jaskier let out a chuckle and continued to wrap gifts until he was done. Half an hour had passed and Jaskier climbed the stairs. There was rustling and talking but he couldn’t make out what was being said. He knocked on his own door before opening it. 

Lambert and Aiden rolled off the side of the bed wrapped up in blankets so they laid between the wall and the bed opposite to the door. Eskel and Geralt were wiping their mouths and scooting away from each other. Aiden called out first. 

“We weren't doing it!” He said and his bed head popped up over the edge of the bed. Lambert groaned in embarrassment. Jaskier laughed and looked at the two older boys on the floor. Their ears were flat against their heads in shame and their tails were curled around to hide their crotches. 

 “We weren’t doing anything… promise.” Geralt said and looked up with big amber eyes. Jaskier smiled and shook his head as he walked over and rubbed at the hair between his ears. 

“You’re all just boys. Come on. Time to get up and get dressed! We’ll have breakfast and Papa is almost here. Come on. Wedding day! Wedding day!” Jaskier chanted as he left the room. The boys got up and went to their own rooms. 

“Do you think I did okay? We can always change it.” Jaskier asked as Eskel and Geralt brushed their tails and pulled on their plain black trousers and crisp white shirts that buttoned halfway. Jaskier thought they looked so dashing and clean with their ears and tails freshly cleaned and brushed and their skin clean and softened with lotion. 

“It’s perfect! Jaskier, you did a wonderful job! I’m sure Lammy and Aiden will fully agree.” Eskel said as he pressed a light kiss on Jaskier's forehead. Geralt came and kissed the other side of his head. 

“It’s so pretty Daddy. So much food, too! Couldn’t have hung better chains from the stone walls myself. Lambert’s gonna be giddy like a little girl when he sees it all.” Geralt said and smiled and looked toward the stairs, up toward where the soon to be newlyweds were getting washed, brushed, and dressed. 

“Thank you boys. Always so sweet! Now go find your spot and sit. Me and Yen will be out soon.” Jaskier said and patted the boys on the bums as they walked out to take their seats on the rug, sitting with their backs to the house leaving a nice space between them. Leaving the walkway open for the cats to walk hand in hand. 

Soon Jaskier was standing with tears running down his cheeks and his lips pulled tight in the biggest smile. Vesemir had told him what to wear, a nice white shirt and a pair of blue trousers. As per tradition no one wore shoes or heavy coats. ‘ The Earth binds us all together, boy, less layers brings us all together. Weddings are no place to show stature in society.’ Vesemir had explained to him a few days ago when he was looking at suits. 

Vesemir stood with silk and newly polished golden pin in his hands. He looked perfectly dashing, radiant and glowing. Jaskier had helped him in the bath while Geralt and Eskel washed upstairs. His grey hair shimmered like polished silver, brushed and smooth floating around his shoulders. His ears were clean and brushed into a perfect point and his tail was treated similarly.  Jaskier knew he was hurting but put on a wide smile for his boys. He had been rubbing at his knees and groaning from his hips all morning. Still, he looked like he could never be happier. 

Yennefer was sitting between Geralt and Vesemir on the rug looking as regal and beautiful as ever. She had no makeup on and her hair was flowing in soft curls. She was wearing a lovely simple purple sundress and had a small light purple flower tucked behind her ear. ‘ No mother, no sister, no daughters or kids, but perhaps a lovely aunt will hand you over?’ Vesemir had said a few days ago. Men bond them together but only a woman or a child could give them away. 

Lambert and Aiden walked out of the twin doors of the house, hand and hand, smiles bright enough to blind the sun. Shirts all clean and soft looking, feet bare yet clean, and ears and tails brushed and smoothed and pointed. 

Step by step more tears ran down Jaskier’s face. The ground almost shook with the sound of the grooms and their brother’s purring. There was the rhythmic thumps of wagging tails coming from the ground. 

They stopped to stand in front of Yennefer. Lambert smiled at his aunt as she rose up, with the slight assistant of Geralt’s offered hand, she took their open hands into her own and stepped to stand beside Vesemir. She did what they had practiced. She held their hands palms up as Vesemir took the pin and as gently as possible pricked the middle of their palms. She then went back to sit beside Geralt. 

Jaskier quickly wipes away his tears just so new could fall. He took the silk into his trembling hands and made the loop as Vesemir spoke. Jaskier tied when he was supposed to as Vesemir said the words. Jaskier had no idea what he was saying, some old witcher language he said it was. Lambert was tearing up a bit and Aiden’s purrs were loud and strong enough to make him shake. 

With a final word Jaskier tried the bow around the now clasped hands. With a tear running down the oldest witcher’s face the ceremony concluded. Aiden and Lambert stood with tears running down their faces, faced each other, rubbed their noses together for a moment before kissing each other lightly. 

Geralt and Eskel hooped and hollered and clapped. Yennefer smiled and clapped. Vesemir wipes the tear from his cheek and patted their shoulders. 

“Off you go now. Go to your home. My kittens…” Vesemir said and the boys hugged him and turned to Jaskier who was bawling like a baby, waving them off. 

Like two giddy kids they took off to the small house a few yards away. They opened the door, Aiden opened the door really as his right hand was free, and they stopped by the doorway and waved at the four on the rugs before walking through. 

“Yen, I need a glass of wine.” 

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