#episode: 47

[valvarads]

—I haven’t been acting like myself. I’m not the thinking type, but I was thinking so much. It was just wasting time.

[killjoy-prince]

House M.D. but it's when Wilson says House's name

[finnyfinster]

"The average person is being followed by at least 2 eldritch horrors" wrong! The average person is being followed by 0. Arthur Lester, the narratives blorbo who's being followed by 100,000 eldritch horrors is an outlier and should not have been counted

[mydirtyvalentine]

yeah so part 47,, how are we feeling folks?

[chuckle-clips]

Boruff: It is ruminate. 

Charlie: Yeah! Let’s fucking go, dude! I fucking told you! Yes! Let’s go! Let’s fucking ruminate, dude! Get me out on a goddamn field, putting my mouth to the goddamn soil, and let me cruise! Fuck you! 

Ted: Oh my god, your veins are popping out of your neck right now. 

[correct-hermitcraft-quotes]

Tango, laughing in emotional distress: I think I'm gonna eat some tasty cake! And then slay more bees.

[getinthemuseum]

Someone get arthur Lester a cough drop.

[maple-keenes]

current favorite hermit chat moment from season 10

[arthur-lesters-nipples]

“Arthur- lean on me. Please, let me help”

[cynosurus]

You tell your friends this is one of the absolute best tv series you've ever seen.

You are not wrong.

[sagesparrow394]

“I don’t know, Gillion, I could go for a fish fry.”

“I could take you.”

Once again ZERO HETEROSEXUAL EXPLANATION

[threebooksoneplot]

24 hours only: help us choose a book title!! 🌞🌚

Quick: we need a ridiculous title for our next fake Twilight Saga book, a parodic Edward-POV retelling of Eclipse (in the style of Midnight Sun)! We’ve narrowed it down to three options.

*Frozen Hell — because Edward is Hades **Frosted Inferno — because Edward is extra Hades & also Frosted Flakes and Robert Frost ***Corona Light — evoking the corona of sunlight visible during a solar eclipse’s totality and for no other reason. Why, what did you think it meant?

Get those votes in by 5 AM EST on Tuesday, Aug 13th, when we’ll announce the new title along with our upcoming Eclipse cover contest. (And don’t forget to tune in to our Season 3 premiere on 9/11/2024!)

Three Books One Plot is a Twilight podcast with a twist: we simultaneously read Life and Death and Midnight Sun! This season: we'll once again brave the dangers Stephenie Meyer wouldn't as we continue Life and Death and Midnight Sun into the Eclipse era. More info here.

[desperate-acts-of-capitalism]

SOUNDCLOUD - SPOTIFY - APPLE PODCASTS

PATREON

In another edition of SPOOKY ACTS OF CAPITALISM, we discuss the world's most iconic film of all time, and why it made $126 Morbillion at the box office. Prepare to be scared and also terrified.

Edited by Noah

BIG THINGS ARE COMING

[hyakunana]

Interrupting all my chores for a very important event

[sarahkomik]

comically large AK-47

[chuckle-clips]

Charlie: He doesn’t know what you’re saying, he’s from three thousand years ago, look at him. 

Ted: It just kind of feels like you like LA so much that you decided to make your hair imitate one of the palm trees. 

Charlie: It looks like you hate LA so much that you tried to revert it back to a time when nothing existed but caves. 

Ted: Yeah, caves and you— really, the only thing that you're missing is maybe— go outside and take some of that Dave’s Hot Chicken you were eating, maybe try to find a chicken bone in there and stick it in between that little fucking— I don’t even know what that is, what is that? It looks like a— it looks like it— You know what you look like? You either look like a chia pet or one of those troll— little kids toys that they sell. You look like fucking Trolls World Tour, the movie. 

Charlie: You look like you’re about to scavenge and/or migrate. 

Ted: You look like a Smurf without the blue. 

[All laugh]

Schlatt: Thanks, guys. That’s awesome. 

Ted: You look like the Smurfs fought in the Civil War.