#episode: 47

[valvarads]

—I haven’t been acting like myself. I’m not the thinking type, but I was thinking so much. It was just wasting time.

[killjoy-prince]

House M.D. but it's when Wilson says House's name

[finnyfinster]

"The average person is being followed by at least 2 eldritch horrors" wrong! The average person is being followed by 0. Arthur Lester, the narratives blorbo who's being followed by 100,000 eldritch horrors is an outlier and should not have been counted

[chuckle-clips]

Boruff: It is ruminate. 

Charlie: Yeah! Let’s fucking go, dude! I fucking told you! Yes! Let’s go! Let’s fucking ruminate, dude! Get me out on a goddamn field, putting my mouth to the goddamn soil, and let me cruise! Fuck you! 

Ted: Oh my god, your veins are popping out of your neck right now. 

[mydirtyvalentine]

yeah so part 47,, how are we feeling folks?

[correct-hermitcraft-quotes]

Tango, laughing in emotional distress: I think I'm gonna eat some tasty cake! And then slay more bees.

[getinthemuseum]

Someone get arthur Lester a cough drop.

[maple-keenes]

current favorite hermit chat moment from season 10

[arthur-lesters-nipples]

“Arthur- lean on me. Please, let me help”

[cynosurus]

You tell your friends this is one of the absolute best tv series you've ever seen.

You are not wrong.

[desperate-acts-of-capitalism]

SOUNDCLOUD - SPOTIFY - APPLE PODCASTS

PATREON

In another edition of SPOOKY ACTS OF CAPITALISM, we discuss the world's most iconic film of all time, and why it made $126 Morbillion at the box office. Prepare to be scared and also terrified.

Edited by Noah

BIG THINGS ARE COMING

[hyakunana]

Interrupting all my chores for a very important event

[chuckle-clips]

Charlie: He doesn’t know what you’re saying, he’s from three thousand years ago, look at him. 

Ted: It just kind of feels like you like LA so much that you decided to make your hair imitate one of the palm trees. 

Charlie: It looks like you hate LA so much that you tried to revert it back to a time when nothing existed but caves. 

Ted: Yeah, caves and you— really, the only thing that you're missing is maybe— go outside and take some of that Dave’s Hot Chicken you were eating, maybe try to find a chicken bone in there and stick it in between that little fucking— I don’t even know what that is, what is that? It looks like a— it looks like it— You know what you look like? You either look like a chia pet or one of those troll— little kids toys that they sell. You look like fucking Trolls World Tour, the movie. 

Charlie: You look like you’re about to scavenge and/or migrate. 

Ted: You look like a Smurf without the blue. 

[All laugh]

Schlatt: Thanks, guys. That’s awesome. 

Ted: You look like the Smurfs fought in the Civil War. 

[mymalevolenthyperfixationpit]

“Surely you can’t expect me to climb a 30ft pole and take the already loose eye out of a dead man’s skull!” -the guy who scaled a vertical shaft dozens of feet tall, shimmied around the exterior of the nth floor of a mansion on a cliff during a storm, has survived an elevator drop from inside a hotel to the bottom of a massive underground cavern, stumbling into an eldritch meat pit in the bowels of another world, and being thrown down a mineshaft, and has killed “I don’t know, seven?” people, two of which by shoving his thumbs through their eyeballs.

Y’all will do fuck all for Yorick smh.

[sarahkomik]

comically large AK-47

[midnightellis]

Lasombra are sexy and I will never be convinced otherwise.