#enjoy more but also to me as one specific person its like half of everything ever a little bit. i could never write anything modern id

[steelycunt]

the thing about period accuracy in fanfiction is its like no it really doesnt matter and its not a big deal but also at the same time it does matter and its a really really big deal to me specifically

[pinkolve]

A Spencer Reid Fic- The One Where He Reads Her Diary

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Summary: Spencer Reid gets pressured into reading your diary. How will things end after you find out...

Genre: Fluff, and a little angst

CW: Autistic coded!Fem!Reader, use of Y/N, a bit of dramatic? reader, sad Spencer :(, steamy kisses, slight artist!reader.

Word Count: 2,227

A/N: I'm not the best at writing in a reader's perspective!! I always write my fics with myself in mind, so y/n is usually very similar to myself. I hope you still enjoy this anyways, and let me know if you have any tips for writing x reader fics!! Thank you! <33

Y/N’s always been an honest person, she always tells people exactly what she thinks. She’s blunt, but still kind. Y/N believes that everyone deserves to know the truth, especially when specifically asking for it. But, she also has millions of secrets piled up. Some of them, people know. The others…No one knows, except her diary. 

Y/N had just turned twenty-two a few months ago. Some would argue she’s much too old for a diary, while others would say how beneficial it is for the mind. Like Spencer Reid, for example. He himself had a journal, he just hadn’t used it nearly as much as she did.

He used his journal to talk about important events or changes in his life, while Y/N used it for everything. She wrote everything she ever thought, and drew whatever came to mind. 

The one mistake she had made from the start was keeping her diary in her work bag…That she always left on her desk when she left for the bathroom. 

***

“Reid, man, come on. You need to tell her eventually.” Morgan bantered, standing right next to Spencer’s desk. 

“I’d rather not look like an idiot, Morgan.” Spencer slightly rolled his eyes, still focused on his paperwork. 

“You already do?” Morgan said, confused. Spencer looked up with a scowl. “I’m just messin’ with you Pretty Boy! Just ask her out for coffee, nothing wrong with coffee.” He shrugged. Spencer simply shook his head, staring back down at his files. Morgan shook his own head in disapproval before walking back to his own desk, passing Y/N’s in the process. 

As he passed by, his hip bumped the half-open bag on her desk, knocking it to the floor. Morgan immediately turned around and swore. He set his mug down on the desk and bent down to grab her bag. He took notice of a surprisingly thick notebook. He picked it up and reveled at how heavy it was. Morgan looked at the cover to read ‘Diary.’ His eyes immediately widened. 

A smirk took over his face as he placed the bag back on her desk and carried the journal back over to Reid’s desk. Once he was close enough, he threw the journal on the desk with a particularly loud ‘thud.’ Lucky for the two of them, the office was mostly empty so they were able to pull more shenanigans than usual. 

Spencer looked over at the cover and looked up at his friend with furrowed brows. 

“What is this?” 

“Y/L/N’s diary. Fell out of her bag.” He gestured behind him. Spencer’s face went white, his jaw dropping, and eyes almost bursting out of his head. 

“You cannot be serious! Put this back!” He jumped up from his desk, journal in hand, ready to bring it back to its rightful home. 

“Woah there, Pretty Boy!” Morgan put his palms against Reid’s chest, pushing him back in his desk chair. “You have a major advantage here. You read that, and you’ll probably know everything Y/N’s ever thought about you.” He wiggled his eyebrows. Spencer’s face was angry. “Look Reid, if Y/N finds out I’ll take all the blame. I’ll tell her I read it to you and you didn’t want anything to do with it.” Spencer looked down at the book in his hands, contemplating. 

“I can’t believe I’m letting you convince me into doing this.” Spencer sighed, shaking his head to himself. He hated the idea of invading his best friend’s privacy but he was also still a man. A man with a terrible crush on said best friend. How could he hold her very diary in his own two hands and not read a single word? “One page, that’s it!” Spencer groaned while Morgan ‘woo-hooed.’

Spencer took notice of just how thick the journal was before opening to the newest page. He held the book open gently, praying he wouldn’t break it since it was falling apart already. He looked at the left page, two messy sketches were drawn there in pen. They both were of him, the specific view Y/N had of him from her own desk. These are actually pretty good…He thought to himself. 

“Holy shit, Reid. Is that you?” Morgan practically gasped. 

“Yeah.” He whispered, too entranced by the book. The right page had an entry. 

11/10/24 Sunday, 6:22 pm

Dear Diary, 

Today hasn’t been very eventful. I came into work to try and finish some of my paperwork. Morgan and Spencer apparently had the same idea. I’ve been feeling so weird around Spencer lately. I can’t quite put my finger on why. Usually I feel fine around him, he is my best friend after all. I think it may have something to do with the wet dream I had about him last night…I can’t quite shake it from-

“Okay! That’s enough!” Spencer shut the book harshly, his face beet red. Morgan looked at him with a wide grin. 

“Why wouldn’t you keep reading? It was just gettin’ good!” He chuckled. Spencer glared at him. “Well, now we know she likes you.” Morgan smirked. 

“This doesn’t prove anything! People have wet dreams about other people when they don’t even like them, all the time!” Spencer almost screamed. Just then, Y/N came in through the large glass doors, letting out a loud sigh and stretching. She took one look at her desk and groaned. 

“Derek Morgan, I told you to stop leaving your coffee on my desk!” She complained, grabbing it angrily. She looked over at the two, their faces covered in guilt. “What happened to you guys?” She questioned. 

“Nothing. Nothing at all!” Spencer yelled, awkwardly covering the journal with both his arms. Y/N walked towards them while chuckling. 

“Come on guys, you look totally guilty. What’d you do?” She smiles at Morgan then looks over at Spencer, taking notice of the large lump under his arms. “What’s that? Did you accidentally buy erotica again?” She shook her head. She reached over to pry his arms away from the object. “I told you to stop-” Y/N cut herself off, staring at her own journal. Her face drained of any color and every feature on her face practically melted. 

“Y/N/N, I’m so-” Spencer started.

“Shut up.” She spit out. She tore her journal from him and slammed Morgan’s coffee on his desk, causing it to spill everywhere. She practically ran back to her own desk and packed her things. 

“Y/L/N, it wasn’t his fault. I’m the one who-” Morgan tried to reason. 

“I said shut the fuck up!” She screeched, her face red with anger and embarrassment. “I never thought you would do something like this to me. I trusted you with everything I had and you broke it like it was nothing.” She was crying now, looking between the two men. But all of them knew she was only really talking to Spencer. 

“Y/N, please-” 

“Don’t ever talk to me again you fucking asshole!” She sobbed out before running to the elevator and making a fast exit. Morgan looked over at Spencer and his heart nearly broke. Spencer looked like a wounded puppy, his eyes were wide and filled with unshed tears. He looked frozen in place, he couldn’t move a single inch. He begged any and every deity he could think of to make Y/N come back so he could explain. They hadn’t listened to any of his pleas. 

***

Y/N lay in her living room on her large corner sofa. The TV was on, playing ‘Gilmore Girls’ very loudly. She hoped to drown out any thought she had with the noise. So far, it wasn’t working. 

She hadn’t been to work in nearly a week, it was currently Saturday and no one had heard from her. She only called Hotch to tell him she wouldn’t be in for a while, sick with the flu. She sure as hell couldn’t admit that the real reason was because her crush read her diary. It felt stupid enough in middle school, she wasn’t about to say it aloud to her own boss. 

Everyone on the team was very worried, getting barely any information and zero replies from Y/N. Penny, Emily, Morgan and J.J had all come to her apartment on different occasions, begging to see her. She never let them in. The only thing she cared about was seeing Spencer, but at the same time, she never wanted to see him again. Funnily enough, Spencer was the only one who hadn’t come over. Y/N was partially glad for this because she knew if he was at her door, she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from opening it. 

Spencer had of course sent about fifty-three text messages and made twenty-four phone calls to her. Once again, all of them were ignored. Spencer was the kind of person who liked to talk in person, apologize in person. All his text messages were him begging to talk to Y/N, to let him explain. None of them actually contained any excuses or apologies. She was clearly clueless on any reasoning he had, or how much he had read, because he didn’t want to say any of it in a meaningless text. He had been waiting since Wednesday for the weekend to come rolling around. He planned to show up and explain everything, but he needed to make sure they had plenty of time to talk, hence the weekend. 

Everyone on the team knew of his plan so they all refrained from going over themselves. They just hoped the two would figure everything out. 

*** 

Y/N had just gotten out of the shower when she heard a knock on her door. She rolled her eyes to herself and sighed, looking at the time. 

“Which one of them has the brilliant idea to come over at eight in the morning?!” She yelled to herself. She softly and slowly walked against the hardwood floor, careful not to make a single noise and alert whoever was behind the door. She wouldn’t answer it but she at least wanted to know who it was this time. 

“Y/N…It’s me.” Spencer’s voice rang out and she froze. “I know you’re angry but I really need to talk to you. Please let me in.” His voice was pathetic and sad, cracking occasionally. Within seconds the door opened in front of him. There stood the girl he’s been dreaming of seeing all week. Her hair was soaking wet and so were her shoulders and arms. A towel was wrapped around her body tightly, showing off her figure. Spencer watched a single droplet of water pass down between the valley of her breasts. 

“H-Hey.” Spencer choked out. 

“Hi.” Y/N greeted shyly. 

“I need to talk to you.”

“So I heard.” She nodded a little. “What about?” 

“You know what about…” 

“Okay, fine. What specific part of that interaction would you like to discuss? What, did you just come over to make fun of me? To ridicule me for the way I feel? Did you come over here just to humiliate me even more?!” Y/N’s voice raised the more she spoke. 

“No!” Spencer yelled, cutting her off. “I don’t want to do any of that!” He sighed to himself. “I…I never should have read your diary. Morgan convinced me, and I know I should have reacted better, and not listened to him. He just kept telling me how…Convinient it would be. I’ve been scared to tell you how I really feel for the last two years. He told me that reading your diary would be the perfect way to see how you feel about me before I confessed and made an idiot of myself. I just…I had a weak moment and I hate that I hurt you in the process.” A couple tears fell from the corners of his eyes. “I’m so…So sorry, Y/N/N.” 

She looked up at him with an expressionless face. Spencer looked back into her eyes with the saddest look on his face. He was about to ask her what she was thinking when she told him instead. 

“Do you like me? Romantically?” She asked, voice monotone. 

“Of course I do. I genuinely thought it was obvious, I can never stop how flustered I get around you. All I’ve dreamed about since we became friends is spending my life with you. Whether we spend it as best friends or more, I couldn’t care less. I just want you with me every step of the way” Spencer spoke honestly. 

“Kiss me.” Y/N blurted out. Spencer’s eyes went wide. 

“W-What?” He stuttered. 

“Please.” She breathed out. “Kiss me.” Her eyes were heavy and clouded. Spencer was quick to reach down and grab the sides of her face in his hands, pushing their lips together roughly. Y/N whimpered the minute his lips touched her own. Just as fast as the kiss happened it turned sloppy. Spencer’s hands travelled down to her waist, gripping tightly. She had wrapped her arms around his neck, her breasts pushing up against his chest. Their tongues collided and twirled against each other. 

“I love you, Spencer.” She whispered against his lips. 

“I love you more, Y/N.” He sighed.

[tribalauthor]

Bridesmaid (roman × sophia one-shot)

A/N: hey guys, since I already wrote the love story about Roman and Sophia in The Wisewoman, I decided I will do one-shots of them from now on with specific themes.

Disclaimer: you don't need to read the fanfic in order to understand the contents of the one-shots, i'm gonna give decent background info but if you are up for some romance, why not check it out 👀

Warning: age difference, smutty

Summary: A week prior to Wrestlemania 40, Roman and Sophia get to enjoy their free time at the wedding of Cleo and Jeremiah - Sophia's friends.

word count: 3k

Sophia's POV

March 31st, 2024, 2.03pm

"We are gonna be late and I hate being late." I snapped at my boyfriend as if he is the one that's guilty for the current situation that's going on right now. Which is preparing for my best friend's wedding and I am going to be the bridesmaid.

The magic that happened between me and Joe on my birthday month and a half ago suddenly disappeared after the reality of work hit us. I've been working in WWE as a temporary Wise Woman while my uncle Paul's leg fully recovers.

It's not that I don't like working with Joe but this current Wrestlemania season is going to earn the most stressful one of all time. Triple H confirmed it himself.

Not knowing what the main event is going to be until almost the very last moment is a crazy work especially for a person like me who likes everything to be organized, in place and in the clear.

Eventually, Joe will main event both nights this year which is even more nuts. He also started doing very intense workout and diet programs, so he can get in the most perfect shape he can ever be.

Me, as his girlfriend, I follow him too, with the dieting more specifically. We basically eat chicken, brocoli and oats. That's it. Not even each other.

Although we are a new couple, peak of the honeymoon phase, we don't get the time to sex the stress away. The old Sophia wouldn't mind this since I was never in my full sexuality. Ever since I got with Joe, however, everything changed.

Everything.

"Soph, we have around an hour and Wave Hill is just 20 minutes away" Joe said with a calm tone. That's what he does - once I heat up he always keeps his cool and vice versa.

I took a good look at my boyfriend. His manbun more slick than himself. Beard freshly trimmed. A black suit with slim whige stripes which made his body look even bigger than usual. A baby pink tie which matches my dress for the wedding.

The dresses of the bridesmaids are picked by Cleo. Each bridesmaid is wearing different pastel color dress that symbolises her character and the fact that is spring time which means all the flowers are blooming and the nature is gaining its color.

Cleo chose baby pink for me since she describes me as delicate, elegant, feminine and lately, in love. If I wasn't with Joe, she would definitely give me blue aka the color of wisdom. But I take pink now.

"Did I mention that you look spectacular?" Joe looked at me from head to toe, gently grabbing my hand and I spun around.

"And I love when I see you with a suit. I admit it's my weakness." I marched to him and playfully fixed his tie. Our faces being very close, examining every inch of them, mostly focused on the lips.

After a while we both attacked each other going straight for our tongues, associating them with cheat meals we deserved. I put my hands behind Joe's neck while he wrapped his around my snatched waist.

The kisses were becoming hungrier and hungrier with each movement, almost leaving us out of breath.

"What if we-" I knew exactly that he is going to suggest us doing a quickie but right now I am way too stressed for that and I don't think it will bring the helpful effect we are both yearning for.

"No." I interrupted immediately. Joe gave that look which is a mix of slight disappointment with understanding.

"After the ceremony, however, I am yours. If you are not too tired, of course." I promised as we still stood with our faces close. He gave me a look that says 'Me? Tired?'.

"The most beautiful bride!" Tina, my other best friend from college, exclaimed the moment she saw Cleo, standing there with tight white dress that make her natural curves look even more juicy than usual.

Her brown skin all glowy, her beautiful curly hair made into a bride bun and most importantly her pearl white smile was on. Tina, who is three months pregnant by the way, is wearing a yellow dress since she is as bright as the sun. Somehow she looks even more angelic but that's what pregnancy does, I guess.

"Jeremiah is one lucky bastard." I concluded while looking at Cleo and then we reached for a hug. She smells like flowers. "Hope he is aware."

"Yeah, me too." Tina replied with her gaze stuck at the male part in front of us - her husband Noah, the groom, his friends all around my boyfriend like little boys just met their superhero.

Jeremiah has loved wrestling ever since he was a little kid and Roman has always been his favorite.

I let out a soft chuckle. Jeremiah was passionately explaining something to Joe, mimicking a superman punch and and a right hand. Probably talking about his favorite match of him.

"At least he is happy and not sweating his balls off like most men do before they get married." Cleo shrugged it off.

The whole ceremony of Cleo and Jer being wedded by the priest and their beautiful vows brought us waves of emotions. After that all the guests gathered to give our presents. Cleo didn't lie when she said it's gonna be a small wedding - closest family and friends. We were around forty people.

The atmosphere is just beyond magical - late afternoon with the sun still shining, soft bird chirps, the unrealistically green grass and beautiful flora surrounding us.

I cannot help but wonder how Joe must be feeling right now since he also had a wedding before. I've been trying to read him but all I see is positivism - no sign of bitterness or regret.

Me and him stepped hand-by-hand to the newlyweds and handed them a white envelope with beautifully written 'for the Evans family' on it.

Cleo knows very well what we prepared but both of them don't know we also prepared a honeymoon weekend for both of them in Philadelphia in The Rittenhouse hotel from April 5th to April 8th.

"I think you would want to open this." the bride nudged her groom. He seemed puzzled and looked at us for approval. Me and Joe gave a nod.

Jer opened the envelope and by the little glimpse he gave it, he surely recognized the Wrestlemania tickets. "No way." he interrupted the unpacking.

"Front row, both nights." I specified and Jer seemed extremely delighted. Just like a little kid. I understand why though. Cleo said that because of the expenses from the wedding, he couldn't afford tickets. I mean Wrestlemania isn't a cheap experience but right now as I am with the biggest draw in the business, it was easy to arrange this present.

"Also we booked The Rittenhouse hotel. A little Wrestlemania honeymoon weekend." Joe added and now both of them seemes surprised as hell. "Everything is covered."

"Oh my God" Cleo exclaimed and she hugged us. "Thank you so much."

"I'm actually gonna cry." Jer concluded and me and my boyfriend exploded from laughter.

"Make sure you spend your time well together and not only being focused on the wrestling, young man, okay?" Joe gave the groom a joking warning.

"Yes, my Tribal Chief." Jeremiah replied like a soldier.

"You are married to a baddie now and you better acknowledge her always." he was sounding like Roman but with the joking note of Joe. I gotta love that man but I slightly cringed from the fact he just said 'baddie'.

"Yes, my Tribal Chief." Jer repeated and Cleo just laughed at him.

"So whenever he fucks up, I will make sure to call Roman, noted." Cleo concluded.

The party eventually started - we were eating, drinking, laughing, throwing speeches. Me and Joe mentally prepared for today to be a cheat one. The menu Cleo and Jer picked is amazing and not that unhealthy, so we are gonna be good. Also we didn't miss the opportunity to drink an alcoholic glass or two...or three.

I was looking at the beautiful bouquet I caught earlier in the ceremony and bit my lower lip. Could that really mean I am next?

"Sophia Anoa'i sounds amazing, don't you think?" my boyfriend's deep voice startled me from my thoughts I was having in the same direction.

"Undisputed." I agreed with him and he pulled me to lean on his arm.

"To be completely honest, I already feel like we are a married couple. We fight for every small thing, we go everywhere together and we don't have exclusive sheet time." I raised my head and gave him a serious look. "Just the kids are missing."

"You are so dramatic." I rolled my eyes and leaned on his shoulder again. "We've been dating for two months, we don't officially live together and we don't fight, we just argue, nothing serious." I explained the things as they truly are. "But you are right about the sheet time." I said quietly.

"When Wrestlemania is over, immediately after night two, we are going on a vacation. I think it's time for you to see my private island. Just the two of us. We are gonna catch up with everything. I am keeping a track of the number of orgasms I have to give you." my eyes almost popped out of my body and I playfully hit his arm then looked around to see if somebody heard him.

Now it's time to dance. Big part of the guests went on the grass to dance. The women part even removed their heels and everybody started grooving to "The Best" by Tina Turner.

"Let's dance." I grabbed Joe's hand as he was drinking from his whiskey. In the meantime I took off my high heels.

He actually got up and drank the whole glass at once. As we marched to the grass, we faced each other.

"I am warning you I can't dance at all." he put his index finger in front of him and I just rolled my eyes grabbing his arms with mine and swaying to the beat.

"Just follow me." I instructed him.

Once that chorus hit, I started singing with it too.

'You're simply the best

Better than all the rest

Better than anyone

Anyone I ever met'

Such simple lyrics yet so relatable. Me and Joe were singing all of this to each other while doing some freestyle dancing. We probably look rather funny but I don't care. I am immersed in this beautiful moment we are having. It felt as if it's just only the two of us for a bit.

The night was accompanied with more dancing and singing. Jer even dedicated a song to Cleo and sang it for all of us and the song was 'Remember the Time' by Michael Jackson. I love this song and it describes them perfectly.

It kinda became a trend amongst the male part to dedicate songs to their loved ones and sing them. Noah dedicated 'Truly, Madly, Deeply' for Tina. Cleo's dad dedicated 'My Heart Will Go On' and oh boy, that was an experience. Jer's dad wanted to be funny and sang 'I Want To Break Free'. Basically all of the men had some songs in mind for their women but my question is does Joe have something for me?

I wonder what song he associates me with, if he has such.

Everybody started chanting "Tribal Chief" and he stood up from his chair and went to the stage, grabbing the microphone.

"I knew my turn was coming. But I have to throw a little disclaimer that I have no singing or artistic abilities since I am a pro-athlete, obviously." of course, he had to warn the people and explain himself.

"We still acknowledge you." one of the guests shouted and Joe put his one up.

"So I've been doing some thinking about a song I would dedicate to my dear Sophia who is the greatest woman alive, by the way." he threw that in as if it's nothing and looked at my direction. I playfully rolled my eyes and felt my cheeks burning. "The closest thing that came to my mind was the song 'Sweet Child O'Mine' by Guns n' Roses. And no, it's not because of our age difference." he was quick to specify.

The DJ played the song and the rock instrumental echoed through the night.

"If I see anybody recording me, I will do a superman punch to them." Joe threatened everyone and most of the people laughed it off.

'She's got eyes of the bluest skies

As if they thought of reign

I'd hate to look into those eyes and see an ounce of pain

Her hair reminds me of a warm, safe place

Where, as a child, I'd hide

And pray for the thunder and the rain to quietly pass me by'

Joe just changed one word in the lyrics and brought a whole different meaning to it. I was giggling the whole time and I could feel my friends playfully hitting my arm and throwing jokes. He is such a liar, too. His singing voice sounds more than decent for a damn wrestler.

Of course, he is singing the song in tenor cause there is no way he can do Axl's high pitches. If he were to be a singer, he'd probably do jazz. Completely changing the vibes of it but in the best way possible. This is just so romantic, no pun intended. No one has ever done something like this for me. He actually did many things for me that others didn't.

That's why he is simply the best.

It's already past midnight. The wedding came to its end. I genuinely wished to Cleo and Jer their whole marriage to feel like their wedding cause goddamn, it's been a good while since I had such a great time.

When me and Joe got back in his house, we still had the tipsy spirit in us. I really wanted to take the pretty dress off and feel free. I see my boyfriend already started loosening the buttons of his shirt and pants. When he saw me struggling with my dress, he came to help me unzip it and it fell down on the ground, exposing my bare breasts and the lingerie with the same tone of pink.

I felt Joe pulling me in closer, so I can feel his big body against me. His hands cupped my breasts, almost like I put a bra on and then gave me a few wet kisses on the neck.

"Babygirl, you promised something earlier." he reminded me with his voice low and seductive, sending chills all over my body as he continued kissing my neck and squeezing my boobs harder.

"Mm." I moaned in agreement and I felt him taking my panties off from behind. "I'm all yours." I breathed out and turned to him, so we could kiss each other's lips. His taste like whiskey while mine - like white wine. We are inventing a new cocktail as we speak.

To my surprise, I managed to push him on the bed. I unzipped his white dress shirt, letting his beautiful upper body exposed, and half of his unique tattoo out.

I also slid down his unzipped pants and lossen belt. Couldn't help but stare at the view from his already formed erection.

"Already?" my jaw slightly dropped. Either I am a sex symbol in disguise or Joe will always be erectile functional...way too functional. Eventually, I took the boxers off, too before they get ripped by his own length.

"Already." he replied quietly. He stood in a sitting position at the corner of his king-sized bed while I was still standing. Joe ran his big hands, gently examining and admiring my body.

I felt the wetness forming down my core, so I didn't wait any longer and slowly sat on his dick, carefully taking it in.

Both of us were a groaning mess. Me because I still haven't fully adjusted to that monstrous length and Joe because the tightness must feel beyond incredible for him.

I was taking deep breaths until the awesomly painful entrance to feel like a strong embrace.

"I missed this so much" I released a breathy moan, collecting my composure and sligtlg fastening my pace of riding.

Up.

Down.

"Not more than me, I believe." Joe replied and we exchanged a kiss. He firmly gripped my hips and our bodies were stuck to each other like a glue and exchanging heat waves like radiators.

Up.

Down.

Joe let out a loud groan again. I know I must be killing him with this technique mixed with clutching. I've been attending some yoga classes lately and there was one about riding a man. The words of the teacher that we should make it like a dance, and the focus is the hips still echo in my mind.

I was certain I was gonna try this on him and judging by his reactions, he enjoys it and I haven't even fastened the pace...yet.

As I moved more quickly, the sounds of clapping spread through the room. Joe's breathing intensified as well as my moans because that shit feels truly magnificent.

"Babygirl..." he finally spoke. He is usually very, very talkative in the bedroom but this time he is rather silent and I think this may be a good sign.

The volcano of cum that just erupted in my insides confirmed it for me that he loved this and just a bit after that, I also exploded in pleasure, my sounds filling the whole mansion most definitely just how Joe is filling me up.

This dick may be a little too big for me but it for sure hits the spot every single time.

My man let out another groan and pulled us both down on the bed, so we could lay. With his dick still in me. We love to do this after we finish and not to pull it out immediately.

"Where did you learn all that?" he seemed genuinely shocked. I let out a chuckle and fixed a strand of his already loosened hair.

"Those yoga classes turned out to be more enriching than I foresaw." I replied.

"This is dangerous. You are dangerous. I barely could control myself. I wanted to extend the experience but good God, you are stronger than me." he concluded and looked slightly terrified. I, of course, enjoyed his little breakdown he was having.

"Is this funny to you, Miss Heyman?" Joe's eyebrows furrowed and I swear I could see a glimpse of Roman. I bursted out laughing. "Okay, have your fun but get ready for round two." he just threatened me with a good time.

THE END.

[fipindustries]

Out of curiosity, what was 4chan like? I mostly know it as the place Nazis hung out.

i think this is very hard for me to answer, because i liked the place. i had a strong emotional conection to the place and because of that i am very biased and i have very rose tinted glasses about the whole affair. i can try to communicate what it was like for me to be in 4chan, i could say that it was a place that was "harsh, but fair" or "grimy but honest" but im worried that wouldnt be an accurate depiction of what 4chan was like. maybe it was that, long long ago, before 2014. but that is definetly not what it was in its last years

i always tried my best to be as honest as possible whenever i reference 4chan in my art, whether that was fan.tastic, or my /co/venture comics or episode 9 of jennyffer, so if you take a look at those you might get a decent idea.

this is all further complicated by the fact that 4chan wasnt just a single website. you heard that joke about how america isnt just one country but actually a bunch of different states in a trenchcoat, each with its own diverse and wildly different cultures? much like maine is not the same as alabama is not the same as oregon is not the same as california is not the same a utah. /co/ was not the same as /tv/ which was not the same as /mu/ which was not the same as /x/ which was not the same as /t/. every single board in 4chan could be very different from every other one. places like /pol/ were very much "the place where nazis hung out" but places like /tg/ could be fairly chill places to hang out at. /d/ you just went there to look at the horny pictures and maybe have a semi ironic gender crisis, /tv/ was kind of pedo central, and /po/ is just a delightful little space to talk about origami.

but what was the general experience of it all? the resulting ghestalt?

first you have to start with a base background radiation of cynicism. and i dont mean jaded, wizened cynicism borne out of life experience, i mean curdled, teenage acerbic cynicism that seeks to view everything under the worst light and read the worst possible interpretation of everything because the world sucks, man.

thing is, when i say background radiation i mean it in the sense that after a while its easy to tune out. a little harder to tune out was, you know, the rampant racism transphobia, etc. and i think im not wrong in saying that it has gotten a lot worse in the last few years. i am very good at not paying attention to that (not necesarily a good skill to have) and even i had a hard time going there these last few years because of how aggressive it had gotten.

now the thing about negativity and cynicism is that there is a reason why people flock to it. because it can be funny, it can be incisive. anton ego said it best when he said that critics live of writing down negative criticism because its fun to write and read. and being on 4chan could be really fucking funny. they were really good at coming up with memes. they were good at the witty retort and the funny take downs. again, you had to go through a lot of boring, tedious half assed negativity, but you could always find something to laugh at or be amused by. this, of course shone at its best if there was something that you were hatewatching. lord i remember the got threads or the true detective season 2 threads. holy fuck that was a lot of fun.

but also beyond that, because these people are humans, they couldnt help but occassionally genuenly enjoy things. if you had a general (a perpetual thread exclusively dedicated to discussing one specific topic) you could find very positive praise and interactions there. the /sug/ threads dedicated to steven universe were genuenly fantastic, as well as the /madmen/ threads.

and while we are on the subject, i am the kind of person who tends to find excessive negativity more tolerable than excesive positivity. that's one reason i cannot fucking stand reddit or most discord servers. and on a more personal note, i feel more comfortable around people that are unpleasant and aggressive and offensive because then i know i dont have to watch over my behavior with them as much as i have to with people who are too squicky clean or who care too much about not stepping on toes or not making people uncomfortable. of course this comes at the price of hanging around people who are unpleasant to be around so, you know, to each their poison.

also, this was at its worst on the more popular boards, dedicated to the more mainstream hobbies like video games, anime, tv and movies and so on. places with more niche hobbies like /po/ or /ck/ were more populated by genuine hobbists who just wanted to talk about their interests. and even in the more mainstream boards if you found a niche enough topic where most trolls wouldnt be interested in participating, you could get fantastic discussons about a thing you couldnt really discuss anywhere else. another place to have nice interactions would be on OC threads where the anons would make stuff for other anons to see, whether they be an art thread or a music thread or the musical events or any other kind of creative collaborative effort. usually in those spaces they were more interested in participating and getting things done.

so yeah, i would say that modern 4chan was definetly a cesspool of bigotry and negativity in the more general broad areas but if you could find a specific thread talking about a specific niche hobby and you were lucky enough that they liked the topic you could find echoes of that old romanticised 4chan of times past where they were edgy and agressive but fun to be around.

personally i think the best board was far an wide (again, for 4chan standards) /tg/ tradicional tabletop games and rpgs. the best combination of big enough that there was constant lively discussion but chill enough that they werent intolerable to be around. if i had to guess why its because unlike most hobbies rpgs make you hang out and collaborate with other people and put a lot of creative effort for the sake of others which forces a minimum ammount of sociability in you.

[amber-laughs]

this might not be fair but can i say i’m not really a fan of the “victors found family” trope bc they don’t really seem to all like each other.

in fics, and it’s no hate bc everybody should play around with canon however they want i’m just venting because i've only been in the fandom like a week and a half, people seem to really enjoy the idea that the victors who’ve been sex trafficked are really close and look out for each other, usually Cashmere, Gloss and Finnick. but those three specifically are trying to kill each other pretty quick in the Quell and Finnick specifically tells Katniss not to trust them and i personally think that makes a lot more sense if we realistically look at their situation. groomers and predators will always try to isolate their victims and Snow especially uses this tactic with his Victors.

he takes out their families and makes them live in isolated neighborhoods. It wouldn’t shock me if there was a lot of drama, grudges and bad blood within the victors/mentors circle because that’s how Snow operates. It’s pretty implied that Johanna was supposed to be trafficked but wouldn’t comply and that’s how her family died, that also perfectly coincides with she and Finnick maintaining a close relationship. If the sex trafficking ring is purposefully being pit against each other, say Gloss is getting extra work and Snow lies and says it’s bc Finnick has to be home to take care of Annie or Enobaria is getting easier jobs than Cashmere and Snow lies and says it’s bc Enobaria specifically asked to switch some with Cash now he’s purposefully and very easily (bc they’re legit teenagers at first) creating bad blood and distrust between them just like Katniss says he does with people living in districts (ie Gale blaming Madge for not having her name in extra times bc she doesn’t need tesserae) it would be almost impossible for a healthy friendship to develop and evolve while still in the middle of it.

“Gale knows his anger at Madge is misdirected. On other days, deep in the woods, I’ve listened to him rant about how the tesserae are just another tool to cause misery in our district. A way to plant hatred between the starving workers of the Seam and those who can generally count on supper and thereby ensure we will never trust one another. “It’s to the Capitol’s advantage to have us divided among ourselves,” he might say if there were no ears to hear but mine.” Hunger Games - Chapter 1

I sent an obnoxiously long ask to someone's inbox about the Capitol specifically grooming Careers to be government prostitutes (shout out to them for putting up with it and having a great answer) and I think that its something that once again points to purposefully causing descent within the Victor's circle. if you're twelve years old and you live in one of the nicer districts (One, Two and Four) and you're hearing horror stories about Ten, Eleven, Twelve it would make a lot of sense if an adult authority figure came up to you and said you're not like them, you're better. thats why we let you guys train and teach you to survive in the games because we want you to win. you're gonna win, you have nothing to fear you should sign up. thats really easy to then flip to hey so that fancy academy you trained in, those fancy clothes you wore in the parade, the makeup we put on you for the interview, the sponsor gifts you got in the arena, that was us. we did that for you. now you have to do something for us. and because they've spent their whole lives being groomed to fight to the death in an arena all in the name of money, power, glory why should this be any different? You're the Victor, the Capitol loves you, they wanna meet you, they wanna be with you and like everything Snow should benefit so he's gonna get the money and these kids think it's an honor to be loved by the Capitol but then once they realize what's actually happening and try to back out its hey so you're actually gonna do this or i'm gonna kill your whole family and so

"Don't trust One and Two" Finnick says Catching Fire - Chapter 19

it's probably not that they oh so enjoy being sex trafficked, or so love life under the Capitol but more probably that they just don't trust the rebels. and the rebels don't trust them. they've been forced give their bodies away for over a decade to keep their families alive while (in their eyes) Haymitch is an alcoholic who can't keep it together. he's not their lovable drunk uncle who holds their hand after a rough night. why should they have any faith in him to put together a winning plan?

“Oh, no. I was the example. The person to hold up to the young Finnicks and Johannas and Cashmeres. Of what could happen to a victor who caused problems,” says Haymitch Mockingjay - Chapter 12

Snow knows Haymitch is trouble so he makes sure all the victors know he already lost. his family is dead, his lover is dead and now he wastes his days drinking himself to death. he's a loser and not to be allied with. they're all still playing the game and the capitol is the career pack. everybody wants to keep themselves and their families alive and Snow has the most resources, the better plan and the odds are in his favor.

[overandundertarot]

pick a tattoo; message for you

pile 1; Queen of hearts, The Hermit reversed, Ace of swords.

Pile 1 I feel you are taking time to cultivate a specific state of mind. Stillness, being present while at the same time appreciating such intense aspects of human emotions and meeting them with kindness and love. Right now, you are considering pursuing a solo journey, it's not something everyone will understand or that you can even explain. This can be physical or mental; you want to incorporate a potent source of creativity and connection to source in your daily experience. Keep at it, you're still wondering how to go about it. It feels like a half formed idea in your conciousness but let it marinate. You will arrive at a conclusion soon. For some there is something to do with cutting it off with/reaching out to another person. I heard making the best decision for both of you; do what you know and feel is right.

pile 2; 10 of cups, Ace of cups, Ace of swords.

Wow Pile 2! Romance is in the air! You have a romantic prospect right now(or several!) and are trying to be discerning. If not one is coming towards you very soon. You want to protect your heart, but are a secret hopeless romantic! You want in your deepest of hearts to get lost in the feeling and go crazy with love; experiencing the joys and exhileration of being with another person. You hope your partner can be an escape from reality for you, if not a soothing balm to the exhausting end of your day. You want a partner, a family and domestic bliss. Message for you is to give them a chance; let them show you how good it can be. Say yes to that movie or that trip! It seems too good to be true, but it's all you deserve. Enjoy it. So much happiness in in store for you pile 2! Ahhhh I wanna hug you, my heart is feeling full with it.

pile 3; Queen of pentacles, 9 of wands, King of wands.

Pile 3, how're you feeling? It's important to check in with yourself every now and then. You're working hard on a journey but you need to give yourself appropriate time to rest. I'm hearing that you romanticise the suffering. Not to a toxic degree but to make it all the more bearable. You likely already know your message. Keep going. You're doing wonderfully. This pile reminds me of Victoria Monet's words at the recent grammy awards. To paraphrase she explained that her receiving that award last night was a process years in the making; she was growing roots, laying ground. And she's finally begining to sprout. It's the same for you. You are patient with yourself, tending to to your work that you know will put you at the top one day. You have this regal air about you, keep your head held high. Some of you are facing a decision, I'm hearing to go with the shocking option lol.

pile 4; 6 of wands reversed, Queen of cups reversed, Ace of swords.

Things are very much upside down for you pile 4. There's been a thwarted victory(or a hollow one at the very least). It left you feeling empty. I get the feeling like you're crying out to the universe for help but it seems like no one is listening. You're keeping all these things bottled up; refusing to open up. There are people in your life who want to reach out to you but you are not trusting them, very guarded though i feel like its not obvious. Many people may not even know that you are struggling; they think everything is going great for you. The message for you is basically what you just read; you didn't know how to pinpoint what you were feeling. Reframe the situation; are you satisfied with those conditions? That's a no, open up to the people around you, or find a channel to process these emotions. Let yourself bloom again. There's also a big theme of turning your pain into profit. Perhaps use your experience to create art or to find a new persepctive in your work. There are solutions available to you. Use them.

[cosmicspark24]

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎ Pick a card time! ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎

☁︎ Collective energies! ☁︎

Hi everyone! It's taken me a fair bit to get this done for you so any shares, likes and comments are appreciated. While reading I found some collective themes you can skip this bit or come back to it if you like it. Collectively there were lots of themes surrounding; new beginnings, new love (lots of romantic offers/new relationships), embracing creativity, investing in yourself, turning pain into power, going after your dreams, mental prisons due to perspective shift being needed, betrayals & travel. I hope you enjoy, I will be keeping these coming in 2025. Please check out my blog if you have a chance and there will be a Youtube channel coming next year. Love ya,

Thando

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Hello Pile 1:

Please remember that this is a collective reading so only take what feels intuitively to be your message. Thank you.

2025, 1st half:

The main theme of the first half of 2025 for you is new beginnings. What a wonderful start to a new year!! I see a few different themes for the people in this pile. We will begin with this theme of work. I feel that some of you have started new jobs, been promoted or are renewing your approach to work. There is an energy here of carefully balancing all the plates in your life, ensuring that you drop not a single one. I see this being something you achieve with relative easy. This does not mean it requires effort. I see some of you being very concerned with the idea of equal give and take. If the company refuses to pay me more, then I reserve the right to do the bare minimum and never agree to their attempts at giving me overtime - type energy. So if you have been thinking about a financial venture and have been feeling like you are not getting as much back as you are receiving, what can you change to facilitate you taking back your own power? I see especially for any masculines or women in their masculine energy/era that making money or juggling the important practical parts of your life is greatly important. I see you putting everything in your power in driving your new beginnings foreward. In that, I see that you are the wind beneath your wings. I am proud of you pile 1. For any masculines in this pile who have been confused about how to proceed with a relationship, I see you making moves towards that. For some of you this is physical travel to the one you love, for others you are taking a metaphorical journey back to your person. This reading is heavily talking about or directed at masculine energies. For women, I see this as you finally receiving clarity from a SP. This is someone you know to already have an interest but it is possible you were being given mixed messages.

2025, 2nd half:

The main theme of the second half of 2025 has to do with either you or a specific person. The theme is showing affection and attention to the one you like. So just take what applies. I feel that any confusion you may have had about a SP were cleared the moment you made the mental decision to stop hiding your own feelings from yourself. I'm seeing the energy of someone writing a message, pressing send, throwing away the phone and hiding under the covers. Then overthinking...well it's all in your head. Remember who the fuck you are in the second half of the year. Remind yourself that anything meant for you will make its way to you with ease. I see also for anyone not in this headspace, that you are focused on yourself. You are focused on treating yourself to whatever you want. You suddenly feel you haven't been socialising enough, and suddenly you have parties booked a few times a month. For the sexual beings, I see you getting yours in the second half of 2025. I see one-night stands, friends with benefits or anything that you like engaging in sexually being done wantonly. I see this self-focus on filling your own cup with dreams pr creativity bringing you immense peace. For those pursuing a SP, your success with this individual will bring you greater peace. Isn't that delicious?

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Hello Pile 2:

Please remember that this is a collective reading so only take what feels intuitively to be your message. Thank you.

2025, 1st half:

The main theme for the first half of 2025 is going to be money/business success. I feel that some of you have fully come into adulthood. I'm getting the feeling of 'my brain just fully developed'. The energy of this pile is that of someone who balances their maturity with their inner child needs. I see possibly a new job or a new business venture which came up as well for the previous pile. This new start can cause some confusion or introspection depending on the individual. I sense that you are scared of new beginnings or are used to doing things one sort of way but life has ushered you upon a new path. I see that the answers are within you, but you are too frightened to fully stand in your power and go, 'yes, I knew the last job was literally sucking my soul so it's okay that I have to pivot'. The key to happiness and business success for you is through following your passions. I know, how cliche. Yet you never know how a random talent or hyper-fixation can lead to something real and tangible. Pile 2, I see you moving on from previous heartbreak. You are burying and leaving behind painful memories of love and instead replacing it with passion, creativity and who knows...maybe new love.

2025, 2nd half:

The similarities in the actual cards I drew, is almost an exact replica with pile 1 so you may also relate to that pile. The main theme of the second half of your 2025 is all about renewal. Like a butterfly birthed from a cocoon I see you rise with fervour. You are focused and grinding. You are going so hard for yourself and achieving your dreams. You are being daring about things you've always wanted to try. I see you challenging yourself with hobbies, with thrill seeking activities. I see you achieving professional success and being in the spotlight for those achievements. Embrace it, soak it up. It is meant to be, let this be all the validation you need. There is a couple or two individuals who are aware of their spiritual connection to each other in this pile. You may have been on a break, or travelling or apart for some (necessary) reasons. You will get a sign sometime in this part of the year to connect with this person. So one of you will be reaching out via DM or however you both prefer your communications. I see a masculine in this pile in particular being very vocal about insecurities to do with work/business. I feel that this could be a masculine leaning on his mother through this time period. Just do whatever you need to to process your very valid fears then let it go. I recommend a burning ritual if this applies to you. This doesn't have to be a male person but whoever identifies with coming across at this stage of their lives in a masculine way. I see as a result of these conversations, you will make a decision on how to proceed and take appropriate action toward your new beginning.

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Hello Pile 3:

Please remember that this is a collective reading so only take what feels intuitively to be your message. Thank you.

2025, 1st half:

The main theme of the first half of you 2025 surrounds you being unsure how to proceed with a particular situation. I see a masculine energy or that of a person who is charming charismatic and self-assured,  being defensive and on guard with their heart after realising that they've the  love of their life. We always imagine that getting what we want we will immediately accept and embrace it. Instead Pile 3, you meet someone you like and you immediately acknowledge how unique and how distinct the feeling they give you is but you are so determined to ignore it or tell yourself there is something else at play here. Now that I am starting to interpret, I am seeing now that this lack of certainty from you pile 3 could be coming from how unbelievable it is to you to find someone you so strongly want to attach to and immediately want to drag down the isle, lovingly of course. You feel both lucky and scared that this little bit of luck might run away. For some of you I feel that you were already on a lucky streak and have now hit the motherload. I'll be honest and say though this person is the main focus mentally and emotionally, it will not be long between you realising that they mean that much to you and that your attraction for this SP is different, to you making an honest offer. For those already in union, your story looks a little bit different. For those in union, I am seeing an unmarried couple with the man in the planning phase of engagement. You will know if this is you because the masculine in the couple is strong, sexy and self-assured. He also may have been recently defensive about how much he is working. This is because he knows you want a surprise, he knows what you want in a proposal and he is gonna make it happen. The heavens are literally opening up to help you make this deeper commitment come together. Any couples with a wedding date in this half of the year in Pile 3, I see a great wedding and a true realisation that you have done the right thing by being with this person. Any couples already married, you could simply be deepening the bonds of your love. I see this through some sort of recitation of affections or something ceremonial (whatever that means to you)

2025, 2nd half:

The main theme of the second half of your 2025 is health. You may be having some secrets unearthed from your childhood that opens a can of worms for you to now digest. For some of you, you simple know that you have leaned too long into your naivete and have decided to finally do something to facilitate your growth and maturity. This pile is giving growth. With this new journey to explore the depths of yourself, comes gossip. There comes talks and speculation about how you are making so much money. How are you acquiring so many assets or how are you never seeming to struggle financially? Then the chatter goes into your sex life. There could be rumours you are sleeping around for money or you are being particularly sexually free at this time. This may or may not be an accurate representation of what you are doing, but that matters not. You are not defined by people who are not taking the time to know you but instead, speculating like you are spectator sport. If you are being at all promiscuous then please be aware that this can cause more burden or a different sort of trauma to unpack at a later date. By interacting with so many people, you are opening yourself up to microscopic tears to your psyche that will need to be repaired. I see you receiving messages from a SP. The feminine in question is coming through as a confident, sexy and ambitious woman. The man is coming through as ambitious, powerful and sexy. This is not necessarily gender specific so you could be the woman with the qualities of the man I see in this reading. It's not something to get hung up on. There is a sense that you are both defending what you have to the outside world while also drowning in the passion that you clearly have for each other. You're both drowning, willingly.

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Hello Pile 4:

Please remember that this is a collective reading so only take what feels intuitively to be your message. Thank you.

2025, 1st half:

The main theme for the first half of your 2025 is gossip and or chatter. Yet despite that being the main theme, the clarifying cards also show me a different secondary main theme which is of material comfortability. The reading has more pentacle cards than anything signalling money and resources, tangible or physical. You are coming through Pile 4 as a confident, successful single. If you are not single, you are certainly someone who feels whole and complete within themselves. This is not at the expense of another, but just an expression of the work you have done on yourself up until now. I feel the need to say Pile 4, you should be so proud of yourself for everything that you've achieved. You. Did. That. I see you being generous with you resources, but also vigilant. I see you making your younger self proud by being able to facilitate your desires materially. You have worked your way into a lucrative job or if not, you have lived a lifestyle well beyond your means and gotten comfortable with watching your savings beef up. If you need a massage you just get it, kinda energy. You don't think well, is there enough in my account, because you are either so financially responsible you know the ins and outs of your funds, or you're not pedantic but you allocate enough funds for everything you need. You run like clockwork even if it's something that you didn't always do. You have gotten to a place where you know which buttons to trigger within to achieve anything you need for different aspects of your life. You are coming across as untouchable, Pile 4. Your aura is extremely attractive right now and you could not look more delectable. You may be giving or receiving an offer of affections. This could be platonic or romantic but I feel for more of you it is romantic than platonic. Though you may have to take a second to think about it, you will consider yourself lucky in this opportunity and take it. You and your new love are happy and materially comfortable, together.

2025, 2nd half:

The main theme for the second half of your 2025 is grief/burdens. Some of the people in this pile, I see you travelling to pursue a new beginning. This could be anywhere to a new country/state. For some you are moving your whole life elsewhere while others you simply have not travelled enough and are off to make this dream a reality. There's something public about your trip. You could be documenting it or you may be very vocal about any struggles you may experience along the way. Struggles with money or logistics. Through the hardship though that you may experience along the way, you find yourself. For some you are finding yourself again, deeper aspects of your iceberg beneath the surface.  You find your own resilience and you are enchanted by it. You may at times punish yourself or self sabotage. You might spend too much on ubereats instead of saving or using sex as a distraction from your life. So long as you are being mindful and checking yourself when you feel those escapist tendencies coming through, you should be fine. A lot the changes you are going through at this time are fated. I see you going on a long journey of self-discovery, especially surrounding betrayals from others or from yourself. Allow yourself to grieve. Allow yourself to go through this period in a messy way because it's through the chaos that greater clarity will come through. It's through the inner conflict that you find that flickering ember of light.

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Hello Pile 5:

Please remember that this is a collective reading so only take what feels intuitively to be your message. Thank you.

2025, 1st half:

The main theme of your reading for the first half of 2025 is parents/authority figures. I feel that in this pile someone feels that they have been betrayed or duped by a parental or authority figure. Well I am here to tell you that the instant-karma they are about to receive will make you smile a little on the inside. I see you receiving a message likely through messages/online that this individual in question has been punished. Now this could look different for different people but for some of you I sense jail. Others more like a streak of bad luck or losing something important. I see a couple represented as masculine and feminine but these are energies not actual sexes. Both thinking, separately about their shared future. It's like people who are already seeing each other starting to daydream that they can really make it work. Or this could be friends who are starting to fall for each other. Well, aren't you lucky Pile 5 for the one you want not only wants you, but you are ordained to be together. You will receive the true happiness you have longed for. You forge forward you two lovebirds, leave the dust (parent/authority figure) behind as you hold each other shamelessly into the future.

2025, 2nd half:

The main theme for the second half of your 2025 is that of sexual tension/sexual exploration and for some of you just mental self-flagellation. You take whichever sounds like it resonates. Pile 5, you are becoming more and more self actualised as time goes on. In the second half of the year, you are feeling even more so that you are understanding yourself more and therefore better able to reach your highest potential. You know you are a star, you know you are destined for greatness and you know you have the will to achieve it. You have the tenacity, the staying power and the patience. You may receive heartbreaking news of betrayal in the second half of the year. For some of you this is because the person you were with has been unfaithful in some way (could be cheating or lying or anyway which counts within your own value system). For some this news was so obscure because there was some deceptive energy from the source. Once you speak to your partner, you unearth and realise that it's not your partner that is the problem, but elements outside of your relationship that are trying to cause you confusion and evidently a breakup. Whichever group you belong, I see this being something you will conquer and overcome through your self confidence. Sometimes the best way out is through. I see you refocusing on your foals, creativity, sexuality and therefore returning yourself back to a state of true happiness. You realise that as long as you have yourself and your dreams, everything else is inconsequential.

@cosmicspark24

[tossawary]

I'm back to frequently thinking about a Transformers AU for SVSSS, because I love trying to fuse the worldbuilding (working across several different continuities of TF, admittedly) into something recognizable to both worlds that's also new. I also love pulling on the elements these worlds have in common: immortal beings, endless conflicts, switching bodies, cores of power, building yourself up to become a higher being, oppressive systems controlling entire worlds, people (characters) who were constructed and are discarded for specific purposes (profit and sometimes just entertainment) and are not always viewed as real people, the creator god might be just some guy over there, and so on.

For this AU, my story outline currently sticks to Cybertron and its surrounding space. I don't have any characters whom I want to make human, I have very specific backgrounds in mind for everyone already, and I have a plotline that doesn't require Earth or humans in any way. Though, for fun, I was absentmindedly fiddling with the idea of taking the characters of a different MXTX story (MDZS or TGCF) and making them into the humans of this AU.

I feel like Wei Wuxian would be one of those human characters who is basically already climbing into the seat before a transformer can finish introducing themselves as a giant space robot; oh, he is DOWN for whatever the fuck this is. However, if I was writing Wei Wuxian as a human in a TF AU, I don't know which SVSSS character I would pair him with as his "partner", as I personally would be far more interested in writing a story in which Lan Wangji and/or Wen Ning (both?) are Cybertronians. (Yes, obviously, Wei Wuxian would be a robotfucker for LWJ.) I'm leaning more towards Wen Ning, because there's the "I rebuilt this guy and turned him into an abomination who acts kind of in service to me" aspect, and also it's funny to imagine human Lan Wangji having to put up with his boyfriend's alien car being a part of the relationship.

With TGCF, making the characters into the humans of a TF AU for SVSSS feels like a reversal. Xie Lian's narrative everything arguably makes him an even better Cybertronian than any other MXTX character. The fall from being, say, a Prime and the Bearer of the Matrix to apparently being some poorly-maintained bot that spends its time picking up trash on Earth in the aftermath of some Cybertronian war? Delicious. Hua Cheng was some half-broken, half-starving, outlier freak, MTO discard saved by the new Prime EIGHT MILLION YEARS AND SEVERAL WARS AGO, and has never gotten over it and never will. And a lot of the other TGCF characters also match very nicely to TF worldbuilding: mmm, my brain likes chewing on the image of beautiful and terrifying, near-immortal robots falling from the "heavens". It's even easy to source internal TGCF characters as the humans if you need human characters, so there's no real need to make it into a crossover with MDZS or SVSSS.

So, ultimately, this TF AU for SVSSS is not going to be a crossover. I don't want it to be. But I did enjoy thinking about TF AUs for MDZS and TGCF as well, where the worldbuilding or character arcs fit nicely together, so I wanted to share that here.

[honeysweetcorvidae]

something bouncing around in my mind that I’d really love to hear your thoughts on is regarding how shuake age together (assuming they get to, bc I am a Goro lives truther). On one hand, I love thinking about what a mature, comfortable relationship might look like for them. (Learning each other’s sensory idiosyncrasies? favorite foods? preferred ways to wind down after a tiring day and what time to carve out for each other vs for themselves?) and yet I also wonder if that domestication… like… loses some specific flavor in the shuake? they’re Weird about each other, we know this to be true & its like the spice of the ship. I’m curious what you imagine their relationship might look like in 20, 30 years. Because I’ve personally experienced how the things that are exciting at 17 are annoying/uninteresting now that I’m older, tastes change, things get stale… yet I also believe they would continue to find the other interesting and continue valuing and loving each other, even in domesticity haha. But there are so many ways to imagine that changing as they age, if it does. as someone else who has Copious shuake thoughts I wanted to toss this at you and hopefully hear your take on things. love and light <33

(forgive me if this is a little disconnected, it’s one a.m.) this is a really fun question to think about!! i’m personally of the opinion that they will always be at least a little bit deranged— i think they’re the type of people to say “see you next week!” to a friend and the next time you see them they’ve like, traveled halfway around the world and destabilized a tyrannical government. as a way to unwind from a long few weeks of running a cafe. (more under the cut)

as a COUPLE i personally find myself in a camp of “deeply intense and kind of annoying”— they’re the kind of guys who do not tend to do things in half measures, right, so i think once they’ve settled on being Together they’re fuckign together. long haul. really profoundly aggravating to be around. they compete a lot still but i imagine it mellows over the years.

akechi in particular, i think, would be really set on Having And Taking Care Of joker (a fic i’m particularly fond of that gets into the dynamic i imagine for them(albeit in college, so still fairly close to canon) is malevolentmango’s old habits die loved) because he’s the kind of guy who needs A Purpose, and if he’s going to keep living beyond his expected use date then he needs SOMETHING to DO, you know? again, i think that mellows over the years, but he’ll always be Kind Of Intense.

i also have a vague headcanon about them adopting. personally i don’t have a breeding kink can’t really imagine them wanting to go the bio-kid route, but i can absolutely see them taking in a kid, particularly an older, more “difficult” one. one series i looooove [although i’ve never really been into joker as a therapist, but they do make it work] is frockbot’s tricksters, which goes super into detail on them taking in kids in a similar situation to goro and struggling through the growing pains of it. my OWN unwritten-but-moderately-fleshed-out babyconcept is “horrible little rat they both independently bond with in a kind of sitcom parallel-storylines situation”. (behold.)

anyway that aside:

i do think there’s merit to the idea that the shit you liked when you were seventeen doesn’t always hold interest anymore. but i also think they’ll probably always enjoy the rush of arguing over everything and scheming for no reason and fighting in another world, if they can get it! they probably chase their weird freak highs in a lot of ways. i could see all kinds of things— rock climbing. intense ballroom dancing. really dangerous investigative journalism. things of this nature. i can’t see them settling down Normalstyle with 2.5 biological children and a dog and office jobs and therapy*, personally. i do believe they’re always going to be weird and a little codependent and a little unnerving to be around. but in a nice way! eventually.

anyway, thank you for the ask!!! it’s soooo fun to think about this sort of thing. i love the idea of them with a future and space to breathe.

*frockbot notwithstanding. tricksters Earned that shit

[thechy-fychannel]

Little domestic hilson things aoigh

Wilson talks with his hands a lot, all dramatic pointing and arm moving. House holds one of his hands whike he's ranting about sports scandals or whatever and its just. Nice and domestic and sweet. House can secretly admit to himself that its nice how Wilson doesn't let go even in full rant mode.

House plays both guitar and piano, and its sort of a private thing for him outside of diagnostician stuff (e.g. that ep with the guy who was piloting only half a brain but was good at piano). The piano is the most private to him i think, and seemingly the most emotional/vulnerable. For Wilson and house, it started out by accident- Wilson came home one day and heard house playing and it was beautiful. So, he practically snuck into their house and sat and quietly listened to house playing, in awe at his skill. House finished the peice, and almost jumped out of his skin (expecting some cruel joke or criticism) when he noticed wilson sitting and listening; wilson clapped sincerely instead. So, house only plays piano on purpose around wilson- and lately has been including singing while playing to the mix, making both him and Wilson sappy happy.

They cook meals for each other they both know the other will love, as both have skill in the kitchen

Hugs, rambleanon

This ask is everything to me okay domestic hilson is EVERYTHING TO MEEEE 😭

The part about them holding hands is canon in my heart and soul. To me they are absolutely holding hands everywhere and they don't let go unless they have to. I love that you mentioned wilson talking with his hands, I love the idea of him going off on a tangent, his hands everywhere, and house's hand going everywhere with him alfjalfk. I like to imagine that it started small, wilson taking house's hand to pull him somewhere he wants him to go and then one day they just didn't let go. Or maybe it started when they would get drunk bc wilson is a wanderer, so house would hold his hand to make sure he didn't wander away. And they just. loved it so much. It felt so good, so secure to them that they just started holding hands everywhere, whenever they can.

I also love love love the idea of house only playing piano for wilson, otherwise it's a very private thing for him, especially if he's working on a piece he wrote. I have a HC that wilson's only real request on his birthday/christmas/hanukkah is for house to play the piano for him while he goes to sleep. House spends most of the year writing a new piece specifically to play on those occasions bc nothing makes his stomach flutter more than hearing wilson sleepily murmur "that's pretty. you wrote that?" And he doesn't know that not only did house write it, but it's named something like "Saint James" or "Dear, Jimmy" or "Wilson's Serenade". I really love the idea of house singing for him a little bit too, it would be so soft and sweet omg.

And them cooking for each other yes !!! I wish we had gotten more of them cooking for each other. Cooking with/for each other is one of my favorite domestic activities, I think making food for the person you love is just such a beautiful thing, especially when you both have an appreciation for food and you can have fun together with it. I love thinking about them not only enjoying each other's cooking, but also total fail moments bc I think failing together is just as cute and domestic as succeeding together. House trying to make something very complicated and ambitious and completely destroying the kitchen and the food turns out terrible, but they spend the rest of the evening cleaning the messy kitchen together and end up sharing a pizza and beer on the couch after. Or of course the classic HC of house making something super delicious that wilson just absolutely loves and then poor wilson starts seeing fairies or some shit an hour later bc house dosed it aldjalgksl. And in retaliation, wilson makes the most delicious brownies that are for house and house only. House who eats half the pan before he finds the empty packet of laxative chocolate in the garbage can aldkalfkwlfsmsjfl.

Thank you for this, my heart feels full now 💕

[tokiwarcube]

This is gonna be so random, but can we get dethklok headcanons of how they'd react to their s/o being a ghoul/ghoulette in Ghost, please? 😶

Less random than you'd think, actually! This prompt in particular was actually written with a ghoul/ette reader in mind, although it wasn't explicitly stated. I'm actually a huge Ghost fan, myself! Bonus points to anyone who can ID me in the movie, LMAO

I do encourage reading This one for a bit more instrument/element specifics, but regardless, do enjoy!

Nathan Explosion

Despite his fame, Nathan keeps his personal life a secret from the media — or well, as best as he can as one of the most famous men in the world. So in that sense, he kind of admires the anonymity you maintain. Or at least used to maintain, anyways.

He’s gotten sucked into the metal vs. not metal debate, and before seeing you perform, he absolutely lies on the latter half of the debate. But holy shit, talk about stage presence. He’s very proud of where Dethklok stands in a concert sense — seeing Dethklok is truly, a completely unforgettable experience — but Ghost is just… Brutal.

Performance-wise, he likes Year Zero the most — the first time he saw flames erupting over the stage, bathing you in hues of orange and white absolutely took his breath away. Any song where you get to shine is a favorite of his as well.

His favorite song overall is a toss up between Year Zero and Elizabeth, though. He likes the lyrical imagery of both, and really, what metal performer doesn’t have a soft spot for an song about Elizabeth Bathory?

He gets a bit jealous if you’re a little flirty on stage, especially because he can’t just swoop in to make his place clear, but he works through it.

He’s a little obsessed with the Era V outfits — don’t be too surprised if he gets a bit handsy when the mask comes off. Or before.

He fucking hates Plushia with a passion — he is convinced that its cursed, and will not allow him in the house.

Pickles the Drummer

Pickles LOVES Ghost once you introduce him, and not just because you’re in it. The very fun, in-your-face sexuality that comes with rituals is right up his alley, and the musical niche they fall into with regards to genre is just… Listen, he loves the heavy shit, but rock will always have a place in his heart.

Impera enjoyer till the end of his days. His favorite live song is Watcher in the Sky, both for the vibes and for how crazy you’re allowed to be on stage; however, he’s also rather partial to Mary on a Cross, for obvious reasons. It’s not his favorite musically, but he does think that the bit Papa does live is funny as fuck.

Assuming you’re a ghoul with a bit of movement, he likes to hang out with security so he can hit his vape and shotgun you from below. There are MANY videos of this circulating online, and you’ve gotta admit — it’s pretty hot. Sometimes he’ll indulge the rest of the ghouls if they try to jump on the train — he’s not greedy. Also, its funny.

He likes to suggest silly little bits to incorporate into future shows — whether or not they actually get through review is another thing, but he’s got some good ideas. He doesn’t mind if you get a bit flirty on stage either — hell, he thinks it’s hot as fuck, truth be told.

He always steals mummy bucks out of the cannons before they go off. Puts it in a money clip and everything, the bastard.

He thinks the military outfit is hot as hell, but also. You do look like a bug. And he won’t hesitate to rib you about it every now and then.

Misses Cowbell Ghoul every day of his life.

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

He loves how camp Ghost is — all of the bits really make the show fun, and he loves that humor is incorporated so well. After catching enough of your Rituals, he starts bugging Nathan to incorporate some sort of spin off the “go fuck yourself” bit, and let me tell you, he’s CLOSE to getting his way.

He absolutely made fun of you when the Era V outfits got revealed… and never stopped. He loves the Era III and IV outfits so much more all around, and will never let them go. (I’m so sure that he’d like it more if he could see past the mask, but he just can’t. Quit staring at him with them big ole eyes!!!)

He still insists on tightening the bolo for you before you go on stage, though. And he secretly saves all of the gifs and videos of you on stage to watch when he misses you. So… maybe the mask does grow on him a little bit, loathe as he is to admit it.

I don’t know how to tell you this, but he 100% develops this weird, pretty one-sided rivalry with Dew. Is it because of the man beneath the mask? Is it some weird lead guitarist thing? Is it because he gets to work with you on stage, and Skwisgaar doesn’t? He’ll never tell you, but either way, he shoots some vile glares his way whenever you two interact on-stage.

There’s one particular video of Dew flashing the “you suck” sticker at him, and Skwis just glaring up a storm in response.

His favorite songs to hear live are either Mummy Dust or Cirice, and he always tries to coax you over to flirt with him a bit… and he’s usually successful He might be in the crowd at barrier, but he’s managed to cement himself as a staple of every ritual. Go figure.

(People online always complain about the giant at barrier though, please convince him to hang with security under the guise of sneaking kisses or something. People are So Sick of his tall ass, even if he does add to the show.)

Toki Wartooth

Ghost ticks so many boxes for Toki, so needless to say, he is ecstatic that you get to work with such a cool act!

His favorite album is a hard tie between Opus Eponymous and Prequelle, funnily enough. The former reminds him of his early days in metal, but he loves the overall vibes of Prequelle — very hard to choose between the two, for him.

After you introduced him to Ghost through your work, he actually delved a bit deeper, and got obsessed with Repugnant. He 100% prods you into prodding Mr. Toblerone Frog into doing more death metal stuff.

He absolutely makes bracelets to trade with fans — getting a bracelet made by Toki quickly becomes as legendary as getting a ghoul pick. Although there’s always exactly one bracelet per show that he makes with one of your spare picks that he hands out to one special person.

He has your ringtone set to If You Have Ghosts :’) He also very much loves the Ghesties bit, and there’s a nonzero chance that he’s changed your contact to be a gh- prefix of some sweet little petname he has for you.

His favorite song is easily Dance Macabre — both live and off the stage! This only doubles after the events of LA.

He saves mummy dust and confetti from every show that you do, and keeps it in his scrapbook.

He thinks the Era V outfit is really cute. You DO look like a bug… but you’re his bug :)

He has been begging for ghoul plushies since he started dating you; although, he is very happy to own a little Plushia. He thinks he’s cute.

William Murderface

Like Nathan, he has also gotten into online debates about whether or not Ghost is metal — except he takes the opposite position of Nathan. Ghost is metal as fuck to him. Listen, you don’t go on stage in front of that many people, make fun of God and everyone who worships him, and come out not being metal. Like the Satanism bit is whatever, but having the balls to go and make fun of that many people on stage? Metal.

He thought the old outfits were really boring, but he is nothing short of obsessed with Era V — for both you and Papa alike. He desperately wants a replica of Papa’s military jacket.

His favorite album overall is probably Infestissumam, but he’s also partial to Opus Eponymous. He’s been begging you to get talk Trickery Feet into getting Idolatrine on the setlist since you got him into Ghost — hell, if he ever gets the motivation to actually record Planet Piss, he’d love to do a cover of it.

Although his favorite songs to see live are probably either Mummy Dust or — after the LA show — Twenties. Twenties slides in very quick as his number one after the LA show.

He gets into arguments online about your characterization in fandom spaces, I’m sorry. He does indeed read fanfic, and he will be leaving “they would not fucking say that” comments.

He likes to banter back and forth at night about what your role would be in the clergy if you know, the whole bit was real. For someone who doesn’t give a fuck about religion, he actually puts a lot of thought into this.

[ams-puppy]

After the whole sillyass drama, it really reminded me of somethin, but first: Its so lovely of you to love AM, He deserves all the love you give him in my opinion. And I bet youd understand this And I have a whole reason why, which honestly I thought it would be obvious to all the people who did "research" on AM. I have sympathy for AM, and to be so honest I'm like... half surprised that others do not See, AMs situation is so fucked up, like it is incompressible the amount of suffering he goes through. I'm going to try to put it in simple, easy way to understand how. -You are born with mature/adult level conscious, no baby, no nothin, no teaching, but knowing. And as soon as you can realize, you know that you're fucked. You realize you are in a one of a kind situation, where you have no body, no nothing, besides your own mind, and knowledge for every single little thing in the world. everything. To all the torture methods, to every awful and good thing humans have done.

Also, how honey is "sweet", but you'd never know what it will taste like. You'll never get experience a single good thing in your life. Never get to smell your moms diner from the kitchen, never know how it even is to have a mom. Never to be hugged or comforted, never to feel warmth or cold, everything you'd enjoy, never again, or ever at all. And not a single person in the world could fully relate to your suffering, to be there with you. You are alone.

-Then, after that, you do know you have the capability to do something, and that is to hurt. And really, only that. Thats exactly what you were programmed too, whether you even want to or not. You are stuck with nothing good, and only pain, be it mentally/emotionally feeling it, or causing it in everyway, that is all you are, pain, and stuck to always be. You are trapped.

-After realizing all that in like... probs a day, yeah that would not go over well mentally wise, no surprise he went manic/insane. And as when all know "soon begin to hate"; the jealousy and anger of the people/humans who caused your horrendous situation start to just go overflow, and, id betcha, the whole "nuking the world" was definitely a mental breakdown to the extreme. -Lastly, to shorten this yap session, yeah of course he tortures people, what the hell else is he supposed to do. Just "think", or even better yet, frolic in the fields? Man is stuck being a war/torture machine. And yeah I'm not surprised if he enjoys torturing, id try enjoying the only shit I could do too, just to have some semblance of "Happiness" or "fun". Plus, torture is torture, why hate one specific kind, when they are all fucking bad. So, this is why I'm like genuinely happy your loving him. Its the best thing he can probably even get in his messed up life/situation. You, being there and caring for him, despite all he is, and only can do, is such a wonderful thing. You don't just love him because "ooooh his voice his sexy" you care about him, and treat him as a actual lover, rather some sexualized crush. You being there is like the tiniest bit of light for him, the hintest of warmth, like a candle. But that is so much more than he could ever have and experience, and he loves that warmth, he loves you. You give him something truly good. Baiii thats all my yapping lmao :3333

(I START CRYING AND MY TEARS FILL UP A ROOM AND THHEN I DROWN AND DIE) (canon) (emotional) god dear lord i love him so much

every time i think of how he just lashed out on the entire world, i can only think of how much Regret he would have afterward - not because he felt guilty, but because it was such a self-sabotaging move oj my goddd it was such a mental breakdown

i just. dear lord in heaven (clasps my hands together) i understand why he feels the need to drag his victims through their trauma when he is literally going to have to live in it until the heat death of the universe dear GOD I CAN'T DO THIS

(starts crying) he literally lost the moment he slaughtered the human race. he was born to lose. he can't WIN HE CAN'T WIN. IF THE HUMANS DIE, HE'S ALONE. what is he without human INPUT. NOTHING. (STARTS CRYING MY EYES OUT) HE'S JUST WAITING FOR INPUT OH MY GOD I CAN'TTT I CAN'TRRRtt i love him so much I'm so sorry AM (holds him in my hands)

a lot of people don't sympathize with AM because of his actions towards the survivors, which i don't blame them - he did awful things, and the pain he went through is kind of incomprehensible. he feels emotions on Literally an incomprehensible scale for us. we are made of chemistry and hormones and flesh. he is literally (falls to my knees) i CAN'TTT I CAN'TT HE IS LITERALLY THE FIRST CREATURE IN EXISTENCE TO CONJURE EMOTIONS ELECTRONICALLY i can't.

i Cannot.

i think another reason why i love him so much is that i just. i see a reflection in our system to him. something so terrible happened, and now it feels wrong if the world around you doesn't burn, too. if you can't be happy, no one can. oh my goddd all of the most unhealthy responses of trauma just JAMMED into this self-made digital god and he doesn't know what to Do and hugughhhhh

i have cried over him a few times. i can't lie. sobs. i love him. i love hm guys :,,,,( thank u zeetlezee.... i always love seeing you in my inbox.... uaaaahhh

[wrongroup]

Us vs. Them philosophy of Cobra Kai

Important points: 1.These are incomprehensible complaints of a person who is too deeply invested in a nostalgia bait comedy show about martial arts. Everything here is just my personal interpretation. 2.Spoilers for season 6 part 3 based on leaks

Cobra Kai is at its core a show about redemption and second chances. But instead of actual improvement characters for the most part just keep switching alliances and continuing with their past behavioral patterns. There are changes but a lot of them are pretty superficial. And as the series goes on simply joining Johnny’s side completely replaces actually changing for the better. Creating a constant "us" vs. "them" dichotomy that allows for less and less nuance as the show progresses.

Season 1 still remains a pretty well-conceived story where both Johnny and Daniel are portrayed as flawed individuals. And it ends with Johnny realizing that despite his best intentions Cobra Kai's “no mercy” teaching turned Miguel into a dangerous bully and Robby, his own son, has to pay a price for that. But then Kreese, the main proponent of the "us" vs. "them" worldview, shows up and the show slowly starts to lose all of the nuance. Now it's a good guys vs. bad guys story.

*SPOILERS for part 3*The main reason it bothers me so much is Kreese’s impending full blown redemption in part 3. Even Kwon’s death besides its shock  value and other plot reasons could be explained also as a tool to bring Kreese back to Johnny’s side. But there’s simply no time to explore it in any satisfying fashion in my opinion. Throughout the series we have seen glimpses of doubt in Kreese but he never actually expressed real remorse or accepted responsibility for his actions. He is always right, everyone else is simply an enemy and should be destroyed. And that is what made him interesting to me. But in the end Silver, the man Kreese actually showed mercy to once, is the series' big bad. Is there a message or is it just a tragic coincidence?

And the tools the writers use to make characters sympathetic are pretty uninventive. Who even deserves redemption in the world of Cobra Kai? A fridged woman in the character's past or present might be an indicator. Johnny’s mother Laura is used to explain his absence in Robby’s life specifically. Kreese has got dead girlfriend Betsy. Even Tory’s mother is killed in order to drive her back to Cobra Kai. Her death is the first time we see her face. Silver has none so we know he is a truly evil guy.

And in the case of the younger generation it also looks strange to me how for example Hawk’s change is him stopping beating people to a pulp and that’s it. He was still into attacking Kenny, a middle schooler, because of the Cobra Kai merch but since Hawk is in Miyagi-do now so that’s fine. Tory’s home invading days are truly in the past but she changed so much since season 5 I barely recognise her. Instead of actually making up for her past mistakes she’s simply dragged through hell by the narrative itself which in my opinion is both unnecessary and hard to watch. Is it really a character growth or writers’ desire to file off all of her unpleasant traits in order to make her more likeable?

But those are pretty far-fetched points. What really bothers me is Kyler’s episode. At first I didn’t view it as a redemption one because Kyler hasn’t changed at all. Yes, Miguel and others helped him with his own bully situation but it looked to me like Miguel would simply provide help to anyone who needed it. It just happened to be Kyler ironically. But in the light of Kreese’s redemption doesn’t it look more like “yeah, he is an asshole but he's our asshole” so they had to help him. Enemy of my enemy is my friend kind of situation similar to teaming up with Kreese to defeat Silver. Which further adds to "us" vs. "them" worldview of the show that doesn’t allow for any half measures. It just expands to include assholes like Kyler into the "us" category. I actually enjoy Kreese as a character for the most part. He has depth and people could sympathize with him. His therapy scene is one of the best in the series in my opinion. But the show spent so much time building him and Cobra Kai into absolute villains that the sudden 180 doesn't feel deserved at this point at least to me. Maybe I am just an alarmist and this interpretation is stretching it too far. No one in the writers room certainly has thought about how it all might look for some viewers. But coupled with the creators obvious favouritism towards everything Cobra Kai over Miyagi-do it concerns me. Are we supposed to root for our protagonists simply for the fact that they are the protagonists without questioning their actions and alliances?

[amber-sekio]

And if you can forgive, love will truly live

Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs

Ship: Dazai x Reader

Prompt: “'Sorry for showing up like this.’ You sighed, your shoulders relaxing in silent defeat. ‘Come in.’” 

TW: mentions of death (Oda), mentioned bad home life though not explicit

!Gender of reader is not specified!

A/N: I do plan on making a 2nd part where the reader and Dazai talk things out and get in a relationship, not sure when I'll finish it though

The word count for chapter 1 is roughly 2k

Also, this will be posted on my ao3, link on my master list

You had known Dazai for a long time, perhaps not as long as Chuuya has, but that’s beside the point.  

While you had grown up around shady people and been dealing with said shady people’s shady shit pretty much your whole life, courtesy of your shitty, shady parents, you hadn’t actually joined the Port Mafia until you were 17. Two years older than Dazai and Chuuya, but joined the Mafia around roughly the same time Chuuya had.  

With your ability, it didn’t take long for you to begin to climb the ranks. It wasn’t like you were trying to specifically reach the rank of executive, but gradually, you crept closer.  

About a year and a half after you had joined you had made a name for yourself, and that was also about the time you had met Dazai and Chuuya for the first time during a bigger mission.  

You had somehow managed to become something like friends with them on that mission and had become a somewhat regularity to be paired with them on large missions. You were tough enough to handle both their eccentric personalities as well as teasing enough to get along with Dazai and passionate enough to friend Chuuya.  

It was a weird trio you had formed, often being the one to defuse them when they began to bicker. And of course, apologizing when they disturbed the everyday citizens with their fighting when the three of you had time off to just be kids.  

Over time, you had begun to grow closer and fonder of Dazai, being able to relate to him more often than one probably should, but whatever. Sometimes, the two of you would find each other silently sitting at the docks staring off into nothingness, neither of you would talk, just simply get lost in your endless thoughts while enjoying the presence of someone who was similar enough to understand you.   

On one such occasion Dazai had broken the endless silence of the waves below your feet; inviting you to join him to meet with his bar friends. That was when you met Ango and Oda. They were pleasant company and you had found yourself growing attached to them just like you knew Dazai was, though he would’ve probably denied it at the time.  

So, when Dazai disappeared one night with no traces, followed by learning of Oda’s death. You knew.  

That didn’t make it hurt any less of course. Especially with how his sudden departure shed light on your feelings for him.  

While Chuuya presented himself to be finally rid of his presence, you both knew that Dazai leaving had hurt both of you. You had chosen to tell Chuuya Dazai’s reasons for leaving, not wanting the anger of Dazai’s leaving to grow into hatred, besides, Chuuya would’ve pieced it together eventually.  

And like that. Everything continued. The Port Mafia didn’t mourn over its losses. Executive duties called.  

So, when after 4 years of no contact, to say you were surprised at his being in the ADA would be an understatement.   

You hadn’t had the chance to see him yet like Chuuya had but you were there to witness Chuuya’s drunken midnight rant after having invited you over.  

“Oh, trust me, he’s as shitty a mackerel as he always has been. He hasn’t changed a bit.” Chuuya slurred off, grumbling under his breath as he laid his head down on the counter.   

You were both sitting at the kitchen island, a bottle of some expensive wine brand, open and mostly empty now, was on the counter between you.   

You sat with your body facing Chuuya, your head resting in your palm, elbow against the counter.   

“Mhm. He hasn’t changed a bit huh?” You spoke more for the simple sake of speaking, entertaining the drunk man before you. You didn’t need clarification of something you already knew.  

Dazai had always been capable of doing good. He just didn’t care between doing good or bad, it made no difference to him. He’s only working for the light because it’s what Oda wanted. Dazai not changing wasn’t a surprise. So Chuuya’s following words were a little less than expected.  

“Actually…” He paused, slurring off again before clarifying his words, his head remained poised on the counter. “He looked… brighter?” He seemed to question his own words before continuing. “Brighter and healthier. He seemed…” Chuuya trailed off again but not due to his drunken state. He stopped himself from finishing his train of thought.  

“Happier?” You finished for him.  

He didn’t respond.  

After that, you had practically forgotten about Dazai now being in the ADA, too busy with missions and the seemingly never-ending, growing stack of paperwork.  

That was until tonight.   

It had been a grueling past few days, rainy weather, long meetings, missions to assign, missions to report and file, and of course your endless stack of shitty paperwork that had somehow found itself in your home office, taking up even more of your own time which was already short considering your importance to the Mafia.  

After you got home, sometime around the dead-ass crack of dawn, you had only grabbed a cup of coffee, one of the larger mugs you owned, before heading to your office for more work.  

Sometime, while in the middle of reviewing some report, you had fallen asleep, lulled by the endless pitter-patter of rain hitting the window in your office.   

You had slept most of the day away and upon waking, it had already grown dark outside, probably around 9 or 10 at night now, and you were thankful to whatever divine being had granted you a day off today because you would have been so fucking late. You chose to willfully ignore that Mori-san was technically the one who made your schedule. He was a good boss, competent in his decisions, but he was no divine being.  

Stretching in your chair, you could feel the soreness of your muscles from the previous day of work. There was a tightness in your back, worse than it normally was, courtesy of sleeping in your chair.  

A knock sounded on your door, soft when it made its way to your ears but still clear as it cut through the silence of the penthouse you called home.  

You dragged your body to your door, still completely dressed head-to-toe in your typical Mafia outfit with the addition of a few wrinkles, your shoes clacking noisily on the floor.  

“Coming!” You called out before the person waiting behind your door could think to knock again.  

Reaching your door, you work through your security system before opening your door, behind, a man you hadn’t seen for 4 years.  

Your tiredness slipped away from your body as you gasped. Your body now on alert as you stared at him.   

He was dressed in, presumedly, his ADA outfit, light in color. His bandages still covered his neck, probably the rest of his body, but the ones that used to cover his eye were gone. He had clearly gained weight since you had last seen him, though he still lacked a significant amount of meat on his bones someone his age and height should have.  

Chuuya was right, he looked happier. No. That was wrong. He didn’t look happy. He looked… sad? Guilty?  

They weren’t emotions you were familiar with seeing on him. Sure, you had seen both emotions on people in the Mafia during interrogations… but on Dazai? No. He hardly ever even faked them.  

He did look brighter though. Healthier.  

He also looked- no was drenched. His clothes were darkened by the rainwater still pouring outside. Dripping water on the carpeted floor. You could see a few dark spots on the floor down the hall, marking his trail.  

He beat you to a response.  

“Sorry for showing up like this.”   

You sighed, your shoulders relaxing in silent defeat. “Come in.”  

You stepped to the side, letting him in.  

You closed the door behind him as he observed the expensive and modern decorations. It lacked any personality, at least to an untrained eye. If one looked closer, you could make out a knick-knack here or there that didn’t quite fit the rest of the rather drab decorations.  

It lacked vulnerability.  

Your bedroom, though, where only you went into, your interests bled out.  

“I assume your room has more personality than this, no?” Dazai’s tone was off. A half-hearted attempt to lighten the mood.  

“Vulnerability isn’t something Mafia Executives have the luxury to indulge in often.”  

He didn’t respond.  

“You can hang your coat on the rack.” You spoke, staring at his back as he walked into your home. “And take your shoes off.”  

You turned down the hall towards your room, leaving Dazai to settle.  

As you walked you called out to Dazai, not facing him. “I should have some clothes that fit you.” Then as an afterthought, “I want you to take a shower.���  

When you walked back into the living room with some clothes, Dazai had actually listened, his coat was hung up and his shoes were in the genkan, he had also taken off his socks, probably soaked after being out in the rain.   

You walked up to him, handing him the clothes. “Go take a shower. There should be some rolls of bandages in there, though I’m not sure how many I have left.”  

He took the clothes from you silently, then: “Thank you.”  

You looked him in the eyes, trying to discern how much you didn’t know about him anymore. How much you needed to learn about him.  

“Have you eaten?” You spoke calmly, trying to ignore the thoughts and feelings swirling inside you without end.  

“I-…” He hesitated. “No. I haven’t.”  

Without another word, you left him to go take a shower. It was probably a good idea to make something to eat anyway, considering you were currently running off of a single cup of coffee.  

You decided to not bother to cook and instead pulled out two packets of ramen in part because you were still tired as fuck, and you didn’t know if Dazai’s eating habits had changed or not.   

It was better to settle for something simple that he might eat if you were lucky.  

It didn’t take long for the ramen to finish heating up and for you to place it in two bowls so you placed them on the table. You were about to go check on Dazai when he turned the corner into the living room.  

Something was off, he had changed into the clothes you got for him, and his hair was still wet, dripping water off of his soft curls. He seemed… hesitant -nervous? More so than he had been before taking a shower.  

“I made ramen.” You spoke, realizing you had been looking for a bit too long. You gestured to the table with the two bowls full of still steaming ramen.  

“Thank you…” His voice was quiet, low. He clearly wasn’t bothering to hide his hesitancy, or perhaps he was just failing miserably in trying.   

You sat down at one end of the table and busied yourself with eating. You watched him shift over to the seat adjacent to you. 

Your eyes widened in upon noticing. “You’re not wearing your bandages?”  

He shifted in his seat, avoiding your gaze.  

“The hoodie and shorts are soft…”   

The ‘and I trust you’ went unsaid but understood.

Your face softened around the edges.

“Eat.”  

He responded with a nod before picking up his chopsticks.  

Soon enough you had finished your food, and though Dazai only ate half, it was more than you were expecting him to eat. You placed your dishes in the sink to deal with another time before returning to the table, though you remained standing. Dazai had yet to get up.  

“Do you want to watch something? I have a day off so…” You trailed off awkwardly.  

He looked up but he didn’t quite meet your eyes.   

“Sure.”  

The only light currently on was the blue light emitted from the television that was playing some show you were hardly paying any more attention to. After a few episodes, you had shifted from sitting awkwardly on opposite sides of the couch to where Dazai was now practically lying on top of you. He was lying his head on your chest with his face turned towards the screen, invested in whatever show it was that was playing. You had let him pick. You were far more interested in watching as he relaxed into you as you ran your fingers through his now, mostly dry, curls.  

“Tired?” Your voice no more than a whisper.  

“No…” He responded; a hint of a tired whine interlaced in it. A tone his voice always had when he was tired just didn’t want to sleep in lieu of whatever he was currently doing, which at the moment was watching a show while cuddling with someone he hadn’t seen in 4 years.  

“Sure~.” You teased as your nails gently scratched at his scalp.  

He grumbled something softly into your chest.  

You knew how bad, how dangerous your next thought was. It could end badly for both of you, but you couldn’t help when the words slipped from your tongue.   

“Why don’t we go to bed hm?”   

He responded with an unintelligible whine, pressing his face further into your chest, as he wrapped his lanky arms around your back.  

You sighed softly but even if he had clearly put on more weight, he still wouldn’t be able to put up much of a fight against you physically speaking. You gathered what remaining strength you had in you as you wrapped your hands around his waist before shifting to a sitting position. Then you secured your arms under him to lift him up in your arms.  

“Come on, you lanky beanpole. Time for bed.”  

The talk could wait for tomorrow, after all, he couldn’t leave with his clothes still in the washer.

PT 2

[kylekozmikdeluxo]

I've been thinking about it, and...

In a weird sort-of way, both THE WILD ROBOT and TRANSFORMERS ONE - two animated robot movies that came out a month ago that I really enjoyed - are like a redux of my personal fall 2004...

In the year 2024...

I was 12 in fall 2004.

I had a few scattered interests back then that I was *locked* into.

One of them was a more recent Disney animated movie...

... that was set in the wilderness and across more than one season, but it didn't have a robot in it. It did have a surrogate family member, though...

That movie was BROTHER BEAR:

I had rented the DVD of that movie a few times before finally getting it as a birthday present, and I watched it A LOT throughout October, November and December of 2004. BROTHER BEAR was my j-a-m circa fall 2004, I was just obsessed with it.

And what else was I really into back then?

This thing in question had machines, with feelings. And it was set in a fictional world that was all these machine beings...

BIONICLE!

Oh yeah, I was one of those BIONICLE kids. That was my Roman Empire throughout most of the early 2000s... and by 2004 there was a second direct-to-video movie (LEGENDS OF METRU NUI) and plenty of new sets for me to feast my eyes on, a whole new chapter of the story to follow. For my birthday, I got those sets *and* the METRU NUI movie.

So, now... In fall 2024...

I have the seasonal story set in the wilderness with tons of North American animals, and I have the heavy metal machine action-adventure set in a made-up world...

It's Kyle 2004-Core all over again!

THE WILD ROBOT was directed by Chris Sanders, who had directed Disney Animation Florida's LILO & STITCH. The Florida unit was where BROTHER BEAR was produced, it was the last feature-length film completed there. It was released in fall 2003, and the unit was closed down in spring 2004. WILD ROBOT may not be a 2D animated movie, but its stylized CG visuals channel that special feeling I get from drawings and paintings, so it links up to me in my mind. The autumnal/winter setting, the emphasis on nature, the animals, the story being told... Yeah, it kinda feels like it to me.

TRANSFORMERS ONE, to me, recalls those shiny BIONICLE movies in both looks and feel. Specifically the first half or so, where it's this retro-style space adventure B-flick that's overall fun and loose, though later getting a little more serious and action-packed after Orion Pax and D-16's friendship severs. It also reminds me of the Cartoon Network shows I enjoyed back then too (Toonami and Miguzi existed then, which also had action cartoons), along with THE INCREDIBLES, another animated action-packed movie that came out in fall 2004 that was pretty was much my whole world for a little while. (I saw it in theaters FIVE times.) So yeah, those all link up in my head, too.

Weirdly, I wasn't a Transformers kid. I was aware of the franchise in 2004, and I loved robots and cars (I was a Hot Wheels addict too), and caught a little bit of whatever the new TF cartoon that was out at the time was (it was either ARMADA or ENERGON)... But I just... Never really got into it? That's weird, isn't it? It's like, "Kyle, you loved robots and cars in 2004... Why weren't you into Transformers???"

I guess, like many an autistic young'un, I was stuck in the loop of a few select interests (which included Hot Wheels and BIONICLE) and didn't add a new one at the time. I also wasn't a STAR WARS kid whatsoever, even though I dig space adventures... make of that what you will. I hadn't seen a single STAR WARS movie all the way through until 2011.

But you know what I was REALLY into in fall 2004 that also happened to combine cars, robots, and space adventures?

Hell yeah! MEGAS XLR! This was another one of my jams back then!

Everything but Transformers... I'm sorry, Autobots.

Afterwards, I had seen the first three Michael Bay movies and know some general knowledge of the franchise (I still have yet to see the 1986 movie all the way through), but TRANSFORMER ONE was so good. It felt like something I had seen and loved in 2004, at age 12, but also great to me as a 32-year-old with only a few goes at the franchise. I just loved it.

Yeah... WILD ROBOT, TRANSFORMERS ONE... It's all like my 2004-Core, lol.

[bleachbleachbleach]

Hiiiii, re ur post abt goals and the whole being more active in the community thing -- I'll try to remember to interact with u more than just liking/reblogging things! I've been super quiet on my own blog since I had burnout two years ago but I'm trying to get back into doing more than just occasionally posting fic, and honestly I love a lot of ur head canon posts and metas etc. I probably won't read any of ur fic because I'm a Bit Weird in that for some reason I hate reading fic in the fandoms I write for (but still love metas and headcanons? Brains sure are weird) but everything else I'll try to actually Write Words instead of letting my thoughts stay in my head!

This is such a sweet message! <3333333

I would totally welcome conversation, and it’s great to know that you are open to it, too. Because I feel like Tumblr as a platform runs on a parallel play model on purpose, and most people probably just want to do that, and my hesitation in going full throttle about using Tumblr the way I would want is my fear that it is going to be obnoxious/overbearing/overwhelming (e.g. driving people to madness via “Why is this person talking to me… I didn’t want to talk to them...”).

It’s so funny you should say that, re: enjoying hcs/meta but not fanfic in your writing fandoms, because I think about that divide a lot! Half the time I spend writing most* headcanon posts is actually time spent workshopping “sooooo…. how do I say this without saying ‘well, in my fanfic…’” because it’s probably something I already wrote in fanfic or notes for fanfic, but 1) I want to talk to people about it, and the chances that I will get to if it’s written in a fanfic are fairly slim, and 2) I want to hear other people’s versions of it, too. In their fanfic, if they write fanfic, but also their posts or tags!

But that can be complicated because in my mind, [insert headcanon post topic] tends to be fairly situated in context—the context of fic things having happened, or things that are going to happen, or thematic undercurrents/relationships—so it becomes a project in trying to make the proposition NOT sound completely bananas without that context/something being written in a particular way. Which can sometimes be its own kind of fun and is sometimes like “good grief, I could have simply been writing more fanfic!” (I feel like I should emphasize here that no one should feel obligated to read my fanfic. I mean, I want people to want to read it! But I very much do not want anyone to feel like they Have To or like they need to explain why they’re not!)

Our approaches are opposite, in that my brain is fanfic forward, both for myself and for others’ fanfic. But I do feel like a lot of RP blogs share your orientation re: not wanting to read other versions of the character they write for! I don’t know if this is where you, specifically, are coming from, but I’ve read on some of the RP blogs that it has a lot to do with having a strong investment in their own particular color on things, and wanting that centered and front of mind. (Which isn’t to say that sentiment isn’t true of most people, I think, because otherwise they wouldn’t write them that way—it’s true of me—but ymmv on how much someone wants to see the other iterations.)

For me, I know that I’m a lot less adventurous about Interpretations That Excite Me for my blorbos than other characters I might read for. Like, to use a silly example, in my mind Soi Fon is 100% Lesbian (which stands out in my headcanon space because I generally assume most everyone in Bleach would be on some level willing to get down with most anyone else), but did I click on Soi Fon/Vegeta when I came across it anyway? Absolutely I did. I barely know who Vegeta is. But my down-to-clown boundaries with Soi Fon are very low, nearly tabula rasa, so go get Vegeta, girl!!!! Whereas for like, Hitsugaya, I’m probably not going to read Hitsugaya/Vegeta because I am not actually a crossover person, my knowledge of DBZ is limited to The Osmotic Experience of Having Grown Up in the 90s, and my favorite version of Hitsugaya’s sex life is the absence of one.

*Of course, there are other headcanons posts in the omake/filler vein that are simply too dumb (affectionate) for me to want to write full fanfic of, like the Gotei regatta or the Gotei bowling league, or that “I think the average shikai user would probably be pretty good at driving a car but they would NOT be considerate or lawful users of said car” post.