#enjoy more but also to me as one specific person its like half of everything ever a little bit. i could never write anything modern id

[steelycunt]

the thing about period accuracy in fanfiction is its like no it really doesnt matter and its not a big deal but also at the same time it does matter and its a really really big deal to me specifically

[overandundertarot]

pick a tattoo; message for you

pile 1; Queen of hearts, The Hermit reversed, Ace of swords.

Pile 1 I feel you are taking time to cultivate a specific state of mind. Stillness, being present while at the same time appreciating such intense aspects of human emotions and meeting them with kindness and love. Right now, you are considering pursuing a solo journey, it's not something everyone will understand or that you can even explain. This can be physical or mental; you want to incorporate a potent source of creativity and connection to source in your daily experience. Keep at it, you're still wondering how to go about it. It feels like a half formed idea in your conciousness but let it marinate. You will arrive at a conclusion soon. For some there is something to do with cutting it off with/reaching out to another person. I heard making the best decision for both of you; do what you know and feel is right.

pile 2; 10 of cups, Ace of cups, Ace of swords.

Wow Pile 2! Romance is in the air! You have a romantic prospect right now(or several!) and are trying to be discerning. If not one is coming towards you very soon. You want to protect your heart, but are a secret hopeless romantic! You want in your deepest of hearts to get lost in the feeling and go crazy with love; experiencing the joys and exhileration of being with another person. You hope your partner can be an escape from reality for you, if not a soothing balm to the exhausting end of your day. You want a partner, a family and domestic bliss. Message for you is to give them a chance; let them show you how good it can be. Say yes to that movie or that trip! It seems too good to be true, but it's all you deserve. Enjoy it. So much happiness in in store for you pile 2! Ahhhh I wanna hug you, my heart is feeling full with it.

pile 3; Queen of pentacles, 9 of wands, King of wands.

Pile 3, how're you feeling? It's important to check in with yourself every now and then. You're working hard on a journey but you need to give yourself appropriate time to rest. I'm hearing that you romanticise the suffering. Not to a toxic degree but to make it all the more bearable. You likely already know your message. Keep going. You're doing wonderfully. This pile reminds me of Victoria Monet's words at the recent grammy awards. To paraphrase she explained that her receiving that award last night was a process years in the making; she was growing roots, laying ground. And she's finally begining to sprout. It's the same for you. You are patient with yourself, tending to to your work that you know will put you at the top one day. You have this regal air about you, keep your head held high. Some of you are facing a decision, I'm hearing to go with the shocking option lol.

pile 4; 6 of wands reversed, Queen of cups reversed, Ace of swords.

Things are very much upside down for you pile 4. There's been a thwarted victory(or a hollow one at the very least). It left you feeling empty. I get the feeling like you're crying out to the universe for help but it seems like no one is listening. You're keeping all these things bottled up; refusing to open up. There are people in your life who want to reach out to you but you are not trusting them, very guarded though i feel like its not obvious. Many people may not even know that you are struggling; they think everything is going great for you. The message for you is basically what you just read; you didn't know how to pinpoint what you were feeling. Reframe the situation; are you satisfied with those conditions? That's a no, open up to the people around you, or find a channel to process these emotions. Let yourself bloom again. There's also a big theme of turning your pain into profit. Perhaps use your experience to create art or to find a new persepctive in your work. There are solutions available to you. Use them.

[amber-sekio]

One-shot Prompt

Title: And if you can forgive, love will truly live

Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs

Ship: Dazai x Reader

Prompt: “'Sorry for showing up like this.’ You sighed, your shoulders relaxing in silent defeat. ‘Come in.’” 

TW: mentions of death (Oda), mentioned bad home life though not explicit

!Gender of reader is not specified!

A/N: I do plan on making a 2nd part where the reader and Dazai talk things out and get in a relationship, not sure when I'll finish it though

The word count for chapter 1 is roughly 2k

Also, this will be posted on my ao3, link on my master list

You had known Dazai for a long time, perhaps not as long as Chuuya has, but that’s beside the point.  

While you had grown up around shady people and been dealing with said shady people’s shady shit pretty much your whole life, courtesy of your shitty, shady parents, you hadn’t actually joined the Port Mafia until you were 17. Two years older than Dazai and Chuuya, but joined the Mafia around roughly the same time Chuuya had.  

With your ability, it didn’t take long for you to begin to climb the ranks. It wasn’t like you were trying to specifically reach the rank of executive, but gradually, you crept closer.  

About a year and a half after you had joined you had made a name for yourself, and that was also about the time you had met Dazai and Chuuya for the first time during a bigger mission.  

You had somehow managed to become something like friends with them on that mission and had become a somewhat regularity to be paired with them on large missions. You were tough enough to handle both their eccentric personalities as well as teasing enough to get along with Dazai and passionate enough to friend Chuuya.  

It was a weird trio you had formed, often being the one to defuse them when they began to bicker. And of course, apologizing when they disturbed the everyday citizens with their fighting when the three of you had time off to just be kids.  

Over time, you had begun to grow closer and fonder of Dazai, being able to relate to him more often than one probably should, but whatever. Sometimes, the two of you would find each other silently sitting at the docks staring off into nothingness, neither of you would talk, just simply get lost in your endless thoughts while enjoying the presence of someone who was similar enough to understand you.   

On one such occasion Dazai had broken the endless silence of the waves below your feet; inviting you to join him to meet with his bar friends. That was when you met Ango and Oda. They were pleasant company and you had found yourself growing attached to them just like you knew Dazai was, though he would’ve probably denied it at the time.  

So, when Dazai disappeared one night with no traces, followed by learning of Oda’s death. You knew.  

That didn’t make it hurt any less of course. Especially with how his sudden departure shed light on your feelings for him.  

While Chuuya presented himself to be finally rid of his presence, you both knew that Dazai leaving had hurt both of you. You had chosen to tell Chuuya Dazai’s reasons for leaving, not wanting the anger of Dazai’s leaving to grow into hatred, besides, Chuuya would’ve pieced it together eventually.  

And like that. Everything continued. The Port Mafia didn’t mourn over its losses. Executive duties called.  

So, when after 4 years of no contact, to say you were surprised at his being in the ADA would be an understatement.   

You hadn’t had the chance to see him yet like Chuuya had but you were there to witness Chuuya’s drunken midnight rant after having invited you over.  

“Oh, trust me, he’s as shitty a mackerel as he always has been. He hasn’t changed a bit.” Chuuya slurred off, grumbling under his breath as he laid his head down on the counter.   

You were both sitting at the kitchen island, a bottle of some expensive wine brand, open and mostly empty now, was on the counter between you.   

You sat with your body facing Chuuya, your head resting in your palm, elbow against the counter.   

“Mhm. He hasn’t changed a bit huh?” You spoke more for the simple sake of speaking, entertaining the drunk man before you. You didn’t need clarification of something you already knew.  

Dazai had always been capable of doing good. He just didn’t care between doing good or bad, it made no difference to him. He’s only working for the light because it’s what Oda wanted. Dazai not changing wasn’t a surprise. So Chuuya’s following words were a little less than expected.  

“Actually…” He paused, slurring off again before clarifying his words, his head remained poised on the counter. “He looked… brighter?” He seemed to question his own words before continuing. “Brighter and healthier. He seemed…” Chuuya trailed off again but not due to his drunken state. He stopped himself from finishing his train of thought.  

“Happier?” You finished for him.  

He didn’t respond.  

After that, you had practically forgotten about Dazai now being in the ADA, too busy with missions and the seemingly never-ending, growing stack of paperwork.  

That was until tonight.   

It had been a grueling past few days, rainy weather, long meetings, missions to assign, missions to report and file, and of course your endless stack of shitty paperwork that had somehow found itself in your home office, taking up even more of your own time which was already short considering your importance to the Mafia.  

After you got home, sometime around the dead-ass crack of dawn, you had only grabbed a cup of coffee, one of the larger mugs you owned, before heading to your office for more work.  

Sometime, while in the middle of reviewing some report, you had fallen asleep, lulled by the endless pitter-patter of rain hitting the window in your office.   

You had slept most of the day away and upon waking, it had already grown dark outside, probably around 9 or 10 at night now, and you were thankful to whatever divine being had granted you a day off today because you would have been so fucking late. You chose to willfully ignore that Mori-san was technically the one who made your schedule. He was a good boss, competent in his decisions, but he was no divine being.  

Stretching in your chair, you could feel the soreness of your muscles from the previous day of work. There was a tightness in your back, worse than it normally was, courtesy of sleeping in your chair.  

A knock sounded on your door, soft when it made its way to your ears but still clear as it cut through the silence of the penthouse you called home.  

You dragged your body to your door, still completely dressed head-to-toe in your typical Mafia outfit with the addition of a few wrinkles, your shoes clacking noisily on the floor.  

“Coming!” You called out before the person waiting behind your door could think to knock again.  

Reaching your door, you work through your security system before opening your door, behind, a man you hadn’t seen for 4 years.  

Your tiredness slipped away from your body as you gasped. Your body now on alert as you stared at him.   

He was dressed in, presumedly, his ADA outfit, light in color. His bandages still covered his neck, probably the rest of his body, but the ones that used to cover his eye were gone. He had clearly gained weight since you had last seen him, though he still lacked a significant amount of meat on his bones someone his age and height should have.  

Chuuya was right, he looked happier. No. That was wrong. He didn’t look happy. He looked… sad? Guilty?  

They weren’t emotions you were familiar with seeing on him. Sure, you had seen both emotions on people in the Mafia during interrogations… but on Dazai? No. He hardly ever even faked them.  

He did look brighter though. Healthier.  

He also looked- no was drenched. His clothes were darkened by the rainwater still pouring outside. Dripping water on the carpeted floor. You could see a few dark spots on the floor down the hall, marking his trail.  

He beat you to a response.  

“Sorry for showing up like this.”   

You sighed, your shoulders relaxing in silent defeat. “Come in.”  

You stepped to the side, letting him in.  

You closed the door behind him as he observed the expensive and modern decorations. It lacked any personality, at least to an untrained eye. If one looked closer, you could make out a knick-knack here or there that didn’t quite fit the rest of the rather drab decorations.  

It lacked vulnerability.  

Your bedroom, though, where only you went into, your interests bled out.  

“I assume your room has more personality than this, no?” Dazai’s tone was off. A half-hearted attempt to lighten the mood.  

“Vulnerability isn’t something Mafia Executives have the luxury to indulge in often.”  

He didn’t respond.  

“You can hang your coat on the rack.” You spoke, staring at his back as he walked into your home. “And take your shoes off.”  

You turned down the hall towards your room, leaving Dazai to settle.  

As you walked you called out to Dazai, not facing him. “I should have some clothes that fit you.” Then as an afterthought, “I want you to take a shower.”  

When you walked back into the living room with some clothes, Dazai had actually listened, his coat was hung up and his shoes were in the genkan, he had also taken off his socks, probably soaked after being out in the rain.   

You walked up to him, handing him the clothes. “Go take a shower. There should be some rolls of bandages in there, though I’m not sure how many I have left.”  

He took the clothes from you silently, then: “Thank you.”  

You looked him in the eyes, trying to discern how much you didn’t know about him anymore. How much you needed to learn about him.  

“Have you eaten?” You spoke calmly, trying to ignore the thoughts and feelings swirling inside you without end.  

“I-…” He hesitated. “No. I haven’t.”  

Without another word, you left him to go take a shower. It was probably a good idea to make something to eat anyway, considering you were currently running off of a single cup of coffee.  

You decided to not bother to cook and instead pulled out two packets of ramen in part because you were still tired as fuck, and you didn’t know if Dazai’s eating habits had changed or not.   

It was better to settle for something simple that he might eat if you were lucky.  

It didn’t take long for the ramen to finish heating up and for you to place it in two bowls so you placed them on the table. You were about to go check on Dazai when he turned the corner into the living room.  

Something was off, he had changed into the clothes you got for him, and his hair was still wet, dripping water off of his soft curls. He seemed… hesitant -nervous? More so than he had been before taking a shower.  

“I made ramen.” You spoke, realizing you had been looking for a bit too long. You gestured to the table with the two bowls full of still steaming ramen.  

“Thank you…” His voice was quiet, low. He clearly wasn’t bothering to hide his hesitancy, or perhaps he was just failing miserably in trying.   

You sat down at one end of the table and busied yourself with eating. You watched him shift over to the seat adjacent to you. 

Your eyes widened in upon noticing. “You’re not wearing your bandages?”  

He shifted in his seat, avoiding your gaze.  

“The hoodie and shorts are soft…”   

The ‘and I trust you’ went unsaid but understood.

Your face softened around the edges.

“Eat.”  

He responded with a nod before picking up his chopsticks.  

Soon enough you had finished your food, and though Dazai only ate half, it was more than you were expecting him to eat. You placed your dishes in the sink to deal with another time before returning to the table, though you remained standing. Dazai had yet to get up.  

“Do you want to watch something? I have a day off so…” You trailed off awkwardly.  

He looked up but he didn’t quite meet your eyes.   

“Sure.”  

The only light currently on was the blue light emitted from the television that was playing some show you were hardly paying any more attention to. After a few episodes, you had shifted from sitting awkwardly on opposite sides of the couch to where Dazai was now practically lying on top of you. He was lying his head on your chest with his face turned towards the screen, invested in whatever show it was that was playing. You had let him pick. You were far more interested in watching as he relaxed into you as you ran your fingers through his now, mostly dry, curls.  

“Tired?” Your voice no more than a whisper.  

“No…” He responded; a hint of a tired whine interlaced in it. A tone his voice always had when he was tired just didn’t want to sleep in lieu of whatever he was currently doing, which at the moment was watching a show while cuddling with someone he hadn’t seen in 4 years.  

“Sure~.” You teased as your nails gently scratched at his scalp.  

He grumbled something softly into your chest.  

You knew how bad, how dangerous your next thought was. It could end badly for both of you, but you couldn’t help when the words slipped from your tongue.   

“Why don’t we go to bed hm?”   

He responded with an unintelligible whine, pressing his face further into your chest, as he wrapped his lanky arms around your back.  

You sighed softly but even if he had clearly put on more weight, he still wouldn’t be able to put up much of a fight against you physically speaking. You gathered what remaining strength you had in you as you wrapped your hands around his waist before shifting to a sitting position. Then you secured your arms under him to lift him up in your arms.  

“Come on, you lanky beanpole. Time for bed.”  

The talk could wait for tomorrow, after all, he couldn’t leave with his clothes still in the washer.

PT 2

[tornrose24]

I’ve been rewatching The Ghost and Molly McGee and have concluded watching season 1. These are my thoughts and observations:

-I love how Scratch slowly warms up to Molly across the season and it is easier to catch when you watch the episodes in order. From going to a complete jerk, to valuing her friendship, to caring about how she views him, to not wanting to lose her.

-I also love how this show’s art style is like a storybook come to life in every shot.

-It makes even more sense as to why Scratch haunts Adia’s old home. Todd’s soul gravitated to the one place in Brighton that held happy memories for him, where life had yet to turn him into an anxious, fearful adult. It was a safe space for him, and he was mad when a family managed to move in and invade it. Especially Molly specifically moving into his personal room/the safest spot in the house for him.

-Molly and Scratch are BOTH horrible liars. It’s funny how similar they are in that detail, and it’s even funnier if they call each other out on it.

-Scratch is an absolute asshole to a lot of people and enjoys seeing them suffer during this season, but I think that partly stems from a ‘I was/am miserable so I like seeing others suffer.’

-I’d say Molly’s worst episode is the Snow Day episode (not listening to what everyone else wants to do) and Scratch’s worst episode is the Internship episode (taking advantage of an intern to do basic, unhelpful tasks and being a bigger asshole than usual).

-Molly nearly dies 4 times (the machine during ‘Friend off,’ was willing to catch hypothermia in order to have fun in the snow, was almost hit by the truck, and was nearly sliced in half by Jinx).

-Scratch, Mr. ‘So afraid of dying that I never lived a day’…. Gets trampled by animals, eats poison berries, gets hit by a tour bus, gets blended by the machine from ‘Friend off,’ and is sliced in half by Jinx among all the possible things that WOULD have killed him in this season if he hadn’t been a ghost at the time.

-In ‘Very Hungry Ghost’ Scratch doesn’t get to eat any of the food intended for the ghosts. Because he wasn’t fully a ghost, that feast was not meant to be eaten by him.

-I admit I have yet to catch Scratch’s ‘nervous habit of scratching his arm’ during these episodes.

-There’s a recurring theme of the adult characters regaining their passion for something they once loved in a few episodes.

-However I also appreciate showing very realistic struggles, like financial concerns and how you can’t magically restore your community and town to its glory days without some effort put into it.

-Libby’s mom can be seen as an early cameo during ‘The (Un)natural.’ Of course, she would be there for her daughter ^_^

-I’m not a huge fan of the Christmas episode (never rewatched it until now) but GOD do I love the pink sky they use against the Christmas decorations and snow.

-In Pete’s news article in ‘Twin Trouble’, it mentions that other city planners mysteriously disappeared. However, I don’t think the show EVER addressed that, because such a story fascinated me and made me wonder if there was more to Brighton than meets the eye.

-There was a wasted opportunity in not discussing who or WHAT The Chairman was. Was this mystery meant for season 3?

-Scratch mentioning that he is dead throughout the show hits differently now that we know its quite the opposite. So does seeing him having to do mandatory things for the ghost world that he technically shouldn’t NEED to be doing at that moment.

-So does his interactions with Geoff. Oh boy.

-Was Scratch specifically assigned to scare Brighton? What about the other ghosts from there, like the Tugbottom siblings? Howlin Harriet? Sonia? Why don’t we see them doing their job as much as Scratch has to?

-The sheer irony of Scratch believing that he didn’t have any fears in ‘Scaring is Caring’ only for fear to be the reason WHY he was a ghost to begin with. Once again, there’s a hell of a difference between ‘Scratch as a human being afraid of everything’ and ‘Scratch as a ghost being afraid of losing Molly and would do anything to save her.’

-No seriously, it gets to a point where Scratch risks his existence to save Molly in this season and in the next one-if he had been human, he would have been willing to die for her.

-‘All Night Plight’ is an episode I hadn’t rewatched until recently. And it hits a LOT differently this time around. Molly wanted to form a forever memory with Libby and Scratch by seeing that comet and she managed to win over Scratch who went above and beyond to ensure that was possible. While that memory is now somewhere hidden in Scratch’s mind as a living person, this episode likely was one of the events needed to push him into becoming someone who would take chances and embrace life upon coming back to life.

-Considering the number of times Molly almost dies, it would have been one thing if Scratch didn’t take it too well if he failed to save Molly. But if he learned that he was the one who had the chance to come back to life and not her? Yeah, that would have seriously wrecked his mental state.

-That moment when you realize that it was TWO souls hovering on the edge between life and death that changed everything in the Ghost World. Also I could be wrong, but I caught that Molly AND Scratch both have a brighter glow compared to most other ghosts in the Ghost World. Was this stealth foreshadowing, or just a coincidence?

-Scratch’s declaration that knowing Molly was the highlight of his afterlife. That moment when you realize Molly brought him joy after years of being miserable as both a ghost and as a human. This girl reached out to him and was able to get him to open up when no one else did. This girl who is showing him how to truly live once more. This girl who he openly declares to be his friend no matter what others will think.

-When I see Wraith!Molly hugging Libby and Scratch, I just wonder ‘WHY DOES MOLLY HAVE 3 ARMS?!’

-As good as this show is, a lot of folks who watch these Disney Channel shows are likely used to the more story-oriented shows. While the ‘slice of life’ style for TGAMM did pay off, the slow pace and length it took for the episodes to release likely worked against it and I could see why it didn’t attract more viewers at the time.

Stuff relating to Todd:

-Scratch possesses people a lot in this show, but especially in season 1. I’m reminded of someone who talked about the wraith theory on YouTube and he had this guess that Scratch might someday possess Todd and then realize something is different this time. I think that having Scratch use the possession trick so often was building up to that one moment in the last episode because it WAS a matter of time until he possessed Todd.

-As I said in a previous post, I caught Todd in the stands during The (Un)Natural, which was his ACTUAL debut episode. It was easy to miss the first time, but its a noticeable establishing character moment since he’s the only audience member who is visibly NOT happy despite that the team is winning.

-Molly stopping at Todd’s house during the song montage in the bandshell episode hits a lot differently now after the series finale. But then I laughed when she smacked him in the face with a flyer upon stopping by the house a second time in the same episode.

-We have confirmation that Scratch (as Todd) knew the mayor when they were kids and that is a tale I’m very curious about.

-I caught Todd in the audience during ‘Citizen McGee’ when the mayor bestows the honor of being mayor for a day to Molly. I admit a cynical side of me thinks that this is how he actually remembers her name in the last episode…. But at the same time he was so on auto-pilot during that time that he likely wouldn’t pay much attention or remember those events that well. (Plus, you can’t be expected to remember someone’s name once all the time). I refuse to believe that he remembered this event and that Scratch’s memories were what actually triggered the name.

-Todd’s actual lines are very limited (I don’t think he gets many in season 2 compared to this one). While Dana Snyder was voicing him, Snyder lowered his voice so much that it’s really hard to tell that he’s the one voicing Todd. I keep putting my ear to my computer to listen, but Todd barely sounds like Dana. I think they did this on purpose to avoid making it too obvious that Todd IS Scratch. (And that’s probably why he doesn’t talk as much in season 2…. Until the last episode of course).

-The Internship seems to double as foreshadowing, and not just because Todd appears or that his ‘junk’ held some very crucial clues. Molly believes that the pawnshop is where happy memories go to die while Weird Larry assures her that it’s where memories can be reborn into something new. So… is the pawnshop a metaphor for Scratch’s own depression causing his ‘death’ and how he’ll be resurrected into a happier person?

[tokiwarcube]

This is gonna be so random, but can we get dethklok headcanons of how they'd react to their s/o being a ghoul/ghoulette in Ghost, please? 😶

Less random than you'd think, actually! This prompt in particular was actually written with a ghoul/ette reader in mind, although it wasn't explicitly stated. I'm actually a huge Ghost fan, myself! Bonus points to anyone who can ID me in the movie, LMAO

I do encourage reading This one for a bit more instrument/element specifics, but regardless, do enjoy!

Nathan Explosion

Despite his fame, Nathan keeps his personal life a secret from the media — or well, as best as he can as one of the most famous men in the world. So in that sense, he kind of admires the anonymity you maintain. Or at least used to maintain, anyways.

He’s gotten sucked into the metal vs. not metal debate, and before seeing you perform, he absolutely lies on the latter half of the debate. But holy shit, talk about stage presence. He’s very proud of where Dethklok stands in a concert sense — seeing Dethklok is truly, a completely unforgettable experience — but Ghost is just… Brutal.

Performance-wise, he likes Year Zero the most — the first time he saw flames erupting over the stage, bathing you in hues of orange and white absolutely took his breath away. Any song where you get to shine is a favorite of his as well.

His favorite song overall is a toss up between Year Zero and Elizabeth, though. He likes the lyrical imagery of both, and really, what metal performer doesn’t have a soft spot for an song about Elizabeth Bathory?

He gets a bit jealous if you’re a little flirty on stage, especially because he can’t just swoop in to make his place clear, but he works through it.

He’s a little obsessed with the Era V outfits — don’t be too surprised if he gets a bit handsy when the mask comes off. Or before.

He fucking hates Plushia with a passion — he is convinced that its cursed, and will not allow him in the house.

Pickles the Drummer

Pickles LOVES Ghost once you introduce him, and not just because you’re in it. The very fun, in-your-face sexuality that comes with rituals is right up his alley, and the musical niche they fall into with regards to genre is just… Listen, he loves the heavy shit, but rock will always have a place in his heart.

Impera enjoyer till the end of his days. His favorite live song is Watcher in the Sky, both for the vibes and for how crazy you’re allowed to be on stage; however, he’s also rather partial to Mary on a Cross, for obvious reasons. It’s not his favorite musically, but he does think that the bit Papa does live is funny as fuck.

Assuming you’re a ghoul with a bit of movement, he likes to hang out with security so he can hit his vape and shotgun you from below. There are MANY videos of this circulating online, and you’ve gotta admit — it’s pretty hot. Sometimes he’ll indulge the rest of the ghouls if they try to jump on the train — he’s not greedy. Also, its funny.

He likes to suggest silly little bits to incorporate into future shows — whether or not they actually get through review is another thing, but he’s got some good ideas. He doesn’t mind if you get a bit flirty on stage either — hell, he thinks it’s hot as fuck, truth be told.

He always steals mummy bucks out of the cannons before they go off. Puts it in a money clip and everything, the bastard.

He thinks the military outfit is hot as hell, but also. You do look like a bug. And he won’t hesitate to rib you about it every now and then.

Misses Cowbell Ghoul every day of his life.

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

He loves how camp Ghost is — all of the bits really make the show fun, and he loves that humor is incorporated so well. After catching enough of your Rituals, he starts bugging Nathan to incorporate some sort of spin off the “go fuck yourself” bit, and let me tell you, he’s CLOSE to getting his way.

He absolutely made fun of you when the Era V outfits got revealed… and never stopped. He loves the Era III and IV outfits so much more all around, and will never let them go. (I’m so sure that he’d like it more if he could see past the mask, but he just can’t. Quit staring at him with them big ole eyes!!!)

He still insists on tightening the bolo for you before you go on stage, though. And he secretly saves all of the gifs and videos of you on stage to watch when he misses you. So… maybe the mask does grow on him a little bit, loathe as he is to admit it.

I don’t know how to tell you this, but he 100% develops this weird, pretty one-sided rivalry with Dew. Is it because of the man beneath the mask? Is it some weird lead guitarist thing? Is it because he gets to work with you on stage, and Skwisgaar doesn’t? He’ll never tell you, but either way, he shoots some vile glares his way whenever you two interact on-stage.

There’s one particular video of Dew flashing the “you suck” sticker at him, and Skwis just glaring up a storm in response.

His favorite songs to hear live are either Mummy Dust or Cirice, and he always tries to coax you over to flirt with him a bit… and he’s usually successful He might be in the crowd at barrier, but he’s managed to cement himself as a staple of every ritual. Go figure.

(People online always complain about the giant at barrier though, please convince him to hang with security under the guise of sneaking kisses or something. People are So Sick of his tall ass, even if he does add to the show.)

Toki Wartooth

Ghost ticks so many boxes for Toki, so needless to say, he is ecstatic that you get to work with such a cool act!

His favorite album is a hard tie between Opus Eponymous and Prequelle, funnily enough. The former reminds him of his early days in metal, but he loves the overall vibes of Prequelle — very hard to choose between the two, for him.

After you introduced him to Ghost through your work, he actually delved a bit deeper, and got obsessed with Repugnant. He 100% prods you into prodding Mr. Toblerone Frog into doing more death metal stuff.

He absolutely makes bracelets to trade with fans — getting a bracelet made by Toki quickly becomes as legendary as getting a ghoul pick. Although there’s always exactly one bracelet per show that he makes with one of your spare picks that he hands out to one special person.

He has your ringtone set to If You Have Ghosts :’) He also very much loves the Ghesties bit, and there’s a nonzero chance that he’s changed your contact to be a gh- prefix of some sweet little petname he has for you.

His favorite song is easily Dance Macabre — both live and off the stage! This only doubles after the events of LA.

He saves mummy dust and confetti from every show that you do, and keeps it in his scrapbook.

He thinks the Era V outfit is really cute. You DO look like a bug… but you’re his bug :)

He has been begging for ghoul plushies since he started dating you; although, he is very happy to own a little Plushia. He thinks he’s cute.

William Murderface

Like Nathan, he has also gotten into online debates about whether or not Ghost is metal — except he takes the opposite position of Nathan. Ghost is metal as fuck to him. Listen, you don’t go on stage in front of that many people, make fun of God and everyone who worships him, and come out not being metal. Like the Satanism bit is whatever, but having the balls to go and make fun of that many people on stage? Metal.

He thought the old outfits were really boring, but he is nothing short of obsessed with Era V — for both you and Papa alike. He desperately wants a replica of Papa’s military jacket.

His favorite album overall is probably Infestissumam, but he’s also partial to Opus Eponymous. He’s been begging you to get talk Trickery Feet into getting Idolatrine on the setlist since you got him into Ghost — hell, if he ever gets the motivation to actually record Planet Piss, he’d love to do a cover of it.

Although his favorite songs to see live are probably either Mummy Dust or — after the LA show — Twenties. Twenties slides in very quick as his number one after the LA show.

He gets into arguments online about your characterization in fandom spaces, I’m sorry. He does indeed read fanfic, and he will be leaving “they would not fucking say that” comments.

He likes to banter back and forth at night about what your role would be in the clergy if you know, the whole bit was real. For someone who doesn’t give a fuck about religion, he actually puts a lot of thought into this.

[cricketnationrise]

some sentence sunday 24.4

is this thing still on?

i have a lull at work which means i have time AND brain space for actual words to get written! so pls enjoy this extra bit from my big bang fic that i'm sooooo close to finishing and really excited about. thanks everyone for the tags today and the last month, you're all below the cut bc there are so many people that have tagged me its overwhelming (affectionate).

Nora assumes that there is actual football being played based on the level of noise around her, but she’s fully focused on June and the rest of the cheerleaders for the first half of the game. The part of her brain that’s always on wonders if there’s an equation that could predict what routine June or the cheer coach will call the squad to do next. She knows there are some routines for defense and some for offense, three options for when the team scores, some more general pep and tumbling ones, and a specific routine they use whenever the marching band plays the fight song, plus a halftime routine. There’s bound to be some way to track the statistics of each and build a predictive model that’s relatively accurate, but Nora would need more data, like a lot more. She’d also need, unfortunately, a much more in-depth knowledge of football, which she absolutely refuses to engage in. So while the math likely checks out, Nora isn’t going to be the one to do it. Alex keeps her from dying of boredom for the rest of the game, happy to snark with her about the other team (she’s not dumb enough to talk shit about her own team while smack dab in the middle of the bleachers), make up fake names for all the fancy football plays, and generally treat the marching band like their own personal karaoke machine, belting out the lyrics of everything from Carry On My Wayward Son and All I Do Is Win to Seven Nation Army and Tequila and every song in between. She even gets into the spirit of the whole thing enough to dance like a maniac when the drumline goes ape-shit at the end of the third quarter. She catches the pleased disbelief on June’s face when they make eye contact over fancy flying drumsticks and tumbling cheerleaders and tries not to blush in response. In fact, Nora’s almost won over to the idea of sporting events in general and football in the specific for the atmosphere alone by the time the game ends.  So it’s even more fucking annoying when Evan goes and ruins it.

sincerely, thank you for the tags while i've been drowning in sets and stage effects and scenery strikes and six day/ten hour weeks for the last month i saw them and appreciated! it was a delight seeing all your wip wednesdays and sentence sundays and last lines - definitely helped keep me sane!

@kiwiana-writes @celeritas2997 @cha-melodius @rockyroadkylers @inexplicablymine

@hgejfmw-hgejhsf @cactusdragon517 @violetbaudelaire-quagmire @magicandarchery @leaves-of-laurelin

@itsmaybitheway @indestructibleheart @tailsbeth-writes @porcelainmortal @anincompletelist

@firenati0n @three-drink-amy @adreamareads @wordsofhoneydew @14carrotghoul

@sherryvalli @ships-to-sail @xthelastknownsurvivorx @affectionatelyrs @rmd-writes

@suseagull04 @iboatedhere @onthewaytosomewhere @getmehighonmagic @heysweetheart-writes

@happiness-of-the-pursuit @tintagel-or-cockleshells

and tagging: @sparklepocalypse @dumbpeachjuice @missanniewhimsy @the-lincyclopedia @montrealmadison

@cheesecurdsgravyandfries @everwitch-magiks @anchoredarchangel @smc-27 @clottedcreamfudge

@orchidscript

plus an open tag if anyone needs/want the excuse to post as well

-💜🦗

[gurathins]

24 and 26!!! Micro fic time!!

YEAAAAA THANK U <3 i know it says micro fic but. well. it's a bit longer than that. also something that happens a few hours before this :3

24: tender & 26: how dare (you)

summary: Klara gets worried that Toby's not answering her messages and decides to go investigate what's going on along with her coworker, Jay.

warnings: implied capture, implied murder

"It's not answering the messages."

"Oooooh, you sound worried. Do you have any specific reason to worry?"

"How dare you to even imply something like that?"

"I'm just kidding, just kidding," Jay looked at the front mirror and noticed Klara glaring at him, "I'm sorry, that was a bad joke," he paused for a moment, before adding, "Can you please watch the road now?"

"Hmmph."

"But, I'm sure it is fine. I mean, maybe it's just walking back home? Or taking a longer public transport trip?"

"Tobias might rarely ever care about its leg problems but it's not so stupid to walk ten kilometers to our apartment. And it does use its phone on walks," Klara said, "It likes to look up things it sees outside for fun. And tell random facts about them."

"Well, hm... maybe it's just enjoying a bit more coffee than he was going to?"

"I don't know. But I have a bad feeling," she muttered and stopped the car. "Do you have access to all the active protocols in projects?"

"There's different kinds of them? Hang on, let me see," Jay took out his tablet and opened the table. After scrolling for a moment, looking for the filters or onformation, he closed the device and shook his head. "Only the public for all workers ones."

Klara stared out of the window for a moment, then suddenly hit the steering wheel with her hand, while yelling, "Fuck!" She took a deep breath and leaned on the wheel. "Ugh. Okay, hm. Can you check how far the cafe is from here? Like, do we have time to stop by for a moment and see what's up?"

"Sure. It's a... six minute ride! I'll drop the coordinates to the car," he swiped the file on his screen, "And, well, I'm sure Sarah will understand if we're late from the meeting. It's not like she can handle everything by herself."

"God, thank you so much," she pressed on the screen to switch gps on and continued to drive.

---

The cafe had barely any people there, with two middle-aged men sitting outside on the terrace and a few others inside. One of the men winked at Jay and the other one giggled a bit as he and Klara entered the cafe.

"Excuse me, hi!" Klara waved at the barista, "Can you help me with something?"

"Sure," they nodded and leaned closer, putting the towel and the half-wet cup on the counter, "Can I get you something?"

"No," she said quickly, before Jay could say something else, "Have you seen this person?"

"I am sorry, but answering this goes against the cafe's privacy rules."

"I have this person's permission to know."

"I am sorry, but answering this goes against the cafe's privacy rules."

Jay smirked. "Well, you could skip the rules, this one time?"

The barista looked at him for a moment, before replying, "I am sorry, my programming does not allow me to," they paused for less than a second, and continued with a recording of Jay's voice, "'skip the rules.'"

Klara covered her face with her arms. "Why did they make the robots obey laws so strictly..." she muttered, and quickly glanced at Jay opening his mouth to reply, "Not even a word about robot uprising."

The robot stood quietly for a moment, before asking, "Can I do something else for you?"

"I'll have a cappucino," Jay said, ignoring Klara's glaring, and waved his wrist in front of the counter. "12 universal credits... How does you wife have money to hang out here so often."

The barista smiled and said, "Got it, be right back!"

Klara looked at him. "If you even think about getting into my car with a cup of coffee-"

"Don't worry, don't worry, I'll drink it here. Though, I did see an empty smoothie cup beneath the passenger seat."

"That was Toby's frappé, actually."

"Ah, of course it gets to ignore the rules," Jay thanked the barista that gave him his cappucino, and continued, "Wait, why was it under passenger seat?"

"Won't you want to know that, you nosy litt-" she stopped mid-sentence. "That table outside. That's its leather jacket on that chair."

Jay followed her outside and stopped by the table. "Maybe it forgot about it?"

"Don't be ridiculous. Tobias would never forget its favorite jacket."

The two men sitting by the other table looked at them. One of them, the one with a red scarf, and who originally winked at Jay, asked, "Are you two looking for something?"

"Huh?" Klara stared at them for a moment, "Un, yeah. How long have you been sitting here?"

"Since the morning!" The other man said, "We're celebrating Peter's," he pointed at the man with red scarf, "divorce here. And seeing how many people he'll manage to stop and talk to by winking. That's how Petey met his spouse. I'm Mark, by the way."

"Speaking of, does this one count?" Petey asked and frowned a little when his friend shook his head.

"Uh, alright, um. Have you seen this person?" Klara showed them a photo of Tobias, "Um, without the cat, though. I'm pretty sure it left her home."

"Oh, hey, we sure did!" Mark nodded. "Short little butch, right? The one with these big brown eyes with this...tender gaze. And a smile. You remember the one, right, Peter?"

"Ooooh yeah! It had this fluffy white sweater on a blue shirt. I complimented the sweater and it said that it actually belongs to its wife. That it likes wearing when it's feeling anxious or sad. Its wife must be a lucky gal."

Klara felt a lump in her throat and hugged the jacket tighter. "Do you, um- Can you tell me what it was doing here?"

Mark nodded. "Sure! First it stopped by to talk to us, then it went inside to get a latte-"

"And a cookie!" Peter added.

"Right. Or maybe two cookies, even. Anyway. Then it went to sit by that one table and waited. What book was it reading?"

Peter had almost answered when Jay intereupted, "A bit less details, please. We're in a hurry."

"Well, okay then! Where was I- oh, right. It was waiting by the table until this man, strawberry blonde hair, greyish eyes. Had this blue jacket, like that one corporation's ads. The one that does all kinds of meds."

Peter muttered, "I think it does more than meds."

While Mark answered him, Jay leaned to Klara and whispered, "That sounds like Archie, the guy whom Samuel appointed as the new lead chemist on the project."

"Makes sense. Tobias said that it needs something from its friend at work."

"Now you don't think it's collecting evidence. do you? You know what that mea-"

Mark cleared his throat. "Ahem. The guy went to get iced tea first, then came back and sat next to this person you're looking for. They seemed to have a friendly chat. We didn't really listen to, but I did hear some talk about 'files' and 'project'."

"Your doe-eyed buddy also got a bit twitchy when the blonde arrived," Peter added, "it looked here and there every now and then, and paid a lot of attention to sudden noises."

"Please, it was like that even before that guy arrived. And did you see its big eyebags? Definitely made me believe into the 'anxiety' part."

Klara sighed. "Right, okay, hang on" she picked up an empty glass on Tobias's table, standing next to a cup with some latte still in it, and a half eaten cookie on it. She pushed away all the thoughts that tried to offer all the worst case scenarios explaining why they weren't finished, poured some water and drank the whole glass. "Alright. Let's get the most important question answered. When did they leave?"

The two men looked at each other. "Three hours ago, probably?"

"The robot didn't notice they left because of the jacket and never ended up taking their dishes away," Peter added while looking at the table.

"How did they leave?" Jay asked.

"Well, this person you're looking for, it said something like it's feeling sleepy or weird-" Mark began.

Peter interrupted him for a moment. "Actually, it said it was feeling strange."

"Yes, anyway. This other guy offered it to stand up and take a few steps, maybe that would help."

"Well, it did that and almost fell! Good thing the tables are sturdy, or else it would've fallen face first on the asphalt."

"Uh-huh. The blonde offered some help for it to stand up. As your person was muttering something about barely feeling its legs, or, hell, everything, a black car drove next to the cafe."

"A black car?" Jay asked, "Do you remember the car's license plate number?"

Mark looked up, then shook his head. "No. But it had this dark red stripe. And a red poppy flower."

Klara muttered something to herself and Jay asked Mark to continue.

"At first your buddy got a bit scared at the car, but the blonde man seemed to somehow calm it down and got it in the car."

Peter snorted. "I'm not actually sure he calmed it down. Looked more like the doe-eye was on a verge of losing his conciousness."

"Don't be ridiculous, Petey, why would it? It was probably just sleepy. It's not like we witnessed a corporate hostage situation or anything."

Klara and Jay exchanged glances. "Wow, okay. Thank you for your help," Klara managed to say and took out her phone. "Are you staying here for longer?"

Peter nodded. "Uh-huh, we still have two hours before the cafe closes at eight."

"Okay, well," she typed a small amount of money on the screen and stretched out her hand. "Here's for a few more cups."

The old man smirked and waved his wrist against hers. "Always happy to help, ma'am."

"Yeah. And good luck with finding this person of yours," Mark smiled.

"And happy divorce say to you," Jay murmured and waved them a good bye.

Klara and Jay walked back to the car.

Klara placed the leather jacket carefully on the passenger seat and stared at it for a moment, until Jack's voice brought her back from her thoughts. "You do know what this all means, right?"

She nodded, ignoring the feeling in her stomach. "We need to get to the lab building."

"Why do you think they are there?"

"The labs have a specific kind of nanobots that effectively gets rid of all kinds of biological substances," she explained, "Officially it's to make the scientists' lives better. In practice it also makes it easier to deal with some problems that occur, of which the corporation doesn't want others to know. Technically it's also against the corporate rules but no one bats an eye unless you complain to internal affairs."

"When you say problems, you mean something like whist-"

"Do not say that out loud."

"God, sometimes you're even more paranoid than your wife."

"It's good to have similar hobbies with your spouse."

"But you do understand what kind of status Tobias has right now?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Klara muttered, "Come on, let's go there. We're half an hour late from that meeting anyway. And call Mabel, please."

"Why?"

"I need to complain to internal affairs."

-------

taglist (reply/dm/ask in tags to be added or removed):

@spaceratprodigy @elvves @dekarios @aeducanthaig @edgepunk

@dickytwister @hiddenbeks @terendelev @tuntau @babylon5

@claudiawolf @velocitic @eluvixns

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Hello! Can you write a small fic about Mr. Qi falling in love and proposing to the Farmer pretty please 🥺

Sure thing, dear anon! Have some Mr. Qi x Farmer one shot! Enjoy 💕

_________________________________________

Of all Mr. Qi's quests and tasks that Farmer had ever received, this one was the strangest. And it was so because... well, there was nothing strange about it, which was rather atypical for the mysterious blue man. No descending into Skull Cavern under any conditions, no growing blue fruit with a funny face and sunglasses. Nothing like that, the paper of the letter they pulled out from the mailbox in the morning simply had only one sentence written on it, "I'm waiting for you at my casino today. Don't make me wait, dear."

"Dear"... If Farmer had told anyone that the man who for a year and a half had given them the most extraordinary tasks for generous and interesting rewards had become their lover, no one would have believed them. On the other hand, the people of Pelican Town are no longer surprised by the deeds of "The Hero of The Stardew Valley," "The Most Chaotic Farmer in the World," and "The One Who Drank a Jar of Mayo on a Bet" (Farmer definitely had a few more nicknames, but can't remember them all anymore). So if they introduce Mr. Qi, an unusual wizard and demi-god, as their partner, it'll be just like a normal Tuesday for the locals.

Hmm, no specific date was written, but Farmer's curiosity was as immense as their determination and stubbornness. So quickly rearranging farm chores, they changed into clean clothes and headed for one of the four teleport obelisks. A simple touch of the huge structure with their fingertips and in the blink of an eye, instead of blooming field of crops, the Calico Desert appeared before Farmer's eyes, with its relentless heat, palm trees, cacti, and of course, the Oasis.

Reaching the shop door, Farmer was greeted by the cool air conditioning and Sandy's warm smile. The shop owner always welcomes guests, especially guests like Farmer (best friend and good customer!). They handed the girl a bouquet of daffodils they had managed to pick before teleporting to the Calico Desert, at which the girl's smile grew even wider. Sandy offered Farmer a cup of cool milk, but they politely declined, heading toward the door to the Casino while the girl accompanied them with an interested look. Standing like an unshakable rock, the perpetually serious-faced Bouncer silently stepped aside to allow the club member to pass. Farmer nodded their thanks, and without wasting a moment more, entered the dark room.

The sounds of slot machines, the clinking of glasses with expensive cocktails, the smell of cigars, someone's loud laughter and a voice full of disappointment at the lost amount of money... Everything sparkled with gold and diamonds, luxurious carpets and expensive furniture, and even being an honored guest of the Casino, Farmer felt a little uneasy. All the noise reminded them strongly of the city environment they had lived in before. It was not bad here, but the wooden house, cows and and forest were more dear to their soul.

"It's good to see you, darling." Thankfully, Farmer didn't have to wonder for long what to occupy themself with until Qi met them.

They turned back around and their gaze softened at the sight of their favourite person. Still the same familiar black clothes and hat adorned with gems shimmering in different colours of the rainbow, still the same round purple glasses and still the same enigmatic smile.

Mr Qi stepped closer to Farmer so they could hear him better amidst all the noise in the casino.

"I knew you'd come as soon as you read the letter."

"You always know how to keep me intrigued." Farmer smiled slyly. "Though this time I'm all guessing as to what the assignment will be."

"Does it have to be another assignment? Isn't just spending time together an good reason to meet?"

Farmer also shortened the distance, almost walking right up to Qi, gazing into his face.

"Of course, it's a great reason too. Especially since I was starting to miss you," if they weren't in the centre of the room, surrounded by people, Farmer would have taken off Qi's glasses to see his beautiful, cosmic eyes. "It's just that usually on occasions like this you turn up on your own, rather than sending letters."

He chuckled. "True. And there is a reason for that, my soul. There is something I must show you. But first...

We need to move somewhere a little more... private."

The snap of Qi's fingers echoed loudly in Farmer's ears, and the world before their eyes faded into darkness. The background noise of the casino was gone - no more clinking of coins or chattering of club members. Before the young farmer could worry, the entire black space was filled with the glow of a thousand stars, as if they were in outer space. Qi's figure stood in the same place where it had been when they were in the Casino, still smiling mysteriously. Except that the blue man's gaze, hidden behind a thick layer of glasses, was full of love at the sight of his beloved Farmer and the thought of how beautiful they were, surrounded by lights in the pitch darkness. As they gazed with delight at the space into which Qi had transported them and himself - after all, he always knew how to surprise them!

Raising his hand upwards, Mr. Qi's palm was enveloped in threads of his magic until an object materialised a few seconds later. Farmer's eyes, mesmerised by the stranger's magic, nearly flew in or out of their orbits when they realised what their mystical partner was holding.

"I guess I don't need to remind you of the traditions of your cute little town," Qi rubbed the Mermaid pendant between his fingers, the material was smooth and pleasant to the touch, "though I think you deserve a whole world more than just this pendant."

Qi had planned this moment in advance, choosing the right words and the right time. However, the speech he was about to make was interrupted by Farmer's abrupt embrace and a passionate kiss. Not even the great Qi could have foreseen such a thing.

"Tut-tut," although he tried to look like he wanted to lightly scold Farmer, there wasn't an ounce of annoyance in his voice. "I've prepared a whole speech, dear. It is not very polite to interrupt your interlocutor so rudely-" but even here Farmer did not let him finish, but once more touched Qi's lips with their. The man himself didn't seem to mind any more - it was at least a little different from what he had planned, but hearing the quiet and happy "I accept" from his lover, Mr. Qi no longer thought of going according to the script.

It had turned out even much better than that.

[nopeferatu]

okayyyy i guess ill just write abt some things that i wanna get out before i forget to??

- LOVE, love love how they made ennis the one who initiated all of the romantic affection between the two. literally insane over it. it feels so in-character, considering ennis has probably been affection starved since his mother died when he was a kid. of course he has alma, but do we really get the sense that ennis was ever very affectionate with her? could he have been, in rural, christian, wyoming, where conervative notions of courtship prevail? did he even want to be, knowing that the only person he shows real attraction towards is a man? who knows. we just know that he was craving love, and lucas did an amazing job at capturing that need.

- the "'lets ranch up together', 'no bc earl and rich'" conversation happens after ennis tells jack that he'd divorced alma...a year and a half earlier. what an interesting change! it seems like both adaptations, movie and play, mess around with that specific sequence of events. i really enjoyed what it brought to this specific show, though, because in the script it's described as a "gut-punch" to jack when ennis tells him he already left alma in response to jack telling ennis that he'd decided to leave lureen. it really hammers home the idea that jack thought it was just their wives getting in the way of their life together all that time. it was framed wayyy different than jack driving up 14 hrs after getting his hopes up thanks to a phonecall or a postcard from ennis abt the divorce, but it still hits the beat it's supposed to, where we as the audience can see that its the first time their relationship shifts—and not for the better.

- "little darlin'."I got to hear "LITTLE DARLIN'" not just once, but TWICE. still not over it.

- the show also brought more...i guess, explicit attention to the fact that ennis really only wants to do ranch work, and how much that affects his family. i know its present in all the texts, but the new conversations he and alma have regarding the various 'city jobs' she tries to rope him into and the dead-end ranch jobs that keep going belly up from underneath him are just really sad. he's someone who craves wide open spaces, and the beauty of film allowed heath to capture this hunched, clenched, uncomfortable look and feel of a man who seems too big for any room he's in. ennis is not happy in domesticity. he's a saddle bum through and through, and out with nature is where he belongs. but since theatre (esp theatre in-the-round) doesn't have the luxury of different set dressing, those conversations and arguments bw ennis and alma capture that same bit of characterization.

- i...dunno how i feel about mike's jack, if i'm honest? lucas was incredible. i think he brought just the right amount of taciturn and tender, rage and remorse to a role that needs all of that in an actor. i think mike's jack was a little...idk. too big, if you get me? like there were certain line deliveries that i felt could've been said differently, or had different emotions behind them than the ones i was picking up on. i know stage is different, so in both cases, the actors went VERY big (heath's quiet, simmering rage is a completely different beast against lucas' loud, screaming outburtsts, for example), but...idk. there was just something about mike's jack that threw me off? I told my friend that I was iffy about his performance, and without prompt she said, "I didn't like how much he laughed at everything" and I think I feel the same. For example, the "I didn't want none of either kind but fuck all has worked the way i wanted, nothing has ever come to my hand the right way" line was said really jolly, without much of a edge to it, and i think thats what's thrown me off-kilter so much. in mike's performance, i didn't feel the bitter edge to a lot of his lines that occur later on in the script that are apparent to me not only in jake gyllenhaal's performance, but in the SS text, itself.

He was technically very good and I love the silly things he'd do to get ennis to open up, but he was a little too jovial, not enough bitchy, not enough moody and sassy like jake's jack. i see a lot of jake's jack in mike's performance bc aside from a few lines about how much jack likes the rodeo, all we can really glean from either characters in the SS text is that ennis is quiet, and that jack talks a lot. im not trying to compare the two performances too much bc they are fundamentally different actors working in different mediums, but heath and jake brought a lot of dimsension into charas who could have turned out waaaay different had different actors played them and gotten in touch w different emotions within the script, so i can see how other actors could look to the film for a lot of inspo on how to go about portraying ennis and jack while trying to do their own things as well. my issue is that jack becomes very heartsick and bitter and just plain fed up with everything about his life by the time their last trip rolls around, but play!jack never let that bitterness start to show, so by the time that jack does his whole "i wish i knew how to quit you" monologue, it felt very abrupt to see him screaming and yelling and hollering at ennis like that.

i dunno, after seeing tons of ppl in the brokeback tag over the past few months saying that mike faist was their favorite jack, i was actually really expecting a lot more? but as it stands, jake gyllenhaal still reigns supreme. he captured every facet of jack twist that makes him so compelling to read and write and think about and analyze, and mike, while he was still very good, didn't do that nearly as well imho.

- the play firmly cemented to me that jack twist is just bottom coded, i guess

- some of the music hit at different scenes than i had initially thought they would?? i thought the play would end on "hale strew river" playing in the bg as *SPOILER* old!ennis holds the ghost/dream/memory version of young!jack in a mirror of the way he'd held jack by the campfire on brokeback in '63. but that was not the case. this is an instance of where my heightened expectations made the reality seem kind of disappointing in comparison. i'm also kind of sad that my other favorite song, "beneath the moon," was only featured as a diegetic recording heard on a clock radio (NOT live), and it was played during a scene between alma and ennis. Like, looking back at the lyrics it makes sense:

Why don't you take me for a stroll into the sunset

Another lonely summer's day is ending soon

Oh, let us walk another mile into the twilight

And let me be alone with you beneath the moon

But i thought that it was going to be played during a scene where another one of jack's frequent proposals of a life together gets rejected. when the soundtrack for the play was released it gave me the same vibes as "i dont want to say goodbye", one of the few original songs on the movie soundtrack, and i was POSITIVE that this was a jack-longing-for-ennis song. like, it's all about sunsets and twilight and the moon and all this outdoor imagery, and as we all know, jack and ennis are literally only together underneath the sunsets and twillight and moon! so im actually really sad it wasn't an ennis/jack moment :c

- the actor who played jack's dad played the role a lot more emotionally than i expected. movie!john is very, again, muted and quietly bitter, just like all these characters are. play!john seemed really...what i can only describe as choked up? like, he was shouting and got really riled up in his "jack used to say" monologue at ennis, and there was some disgust in there and a lot of anger, but what i actually read was more like him telling ennis "you're part of the reason why my son is gone." and then he gets up and walks away from the table, and exits the stage. it was really really heartbreaking. maybe i have a different read on the performance than what was intended, but it opens up a whole new side to john twist that i think would be interesting to explore.

- theres a few little added lines of dialogue on jack's part that are great. when they leave brokeback and are heading away in opposite directions, jack turns back around and goes "ennus-" as though he's going to make his proposal to start a life together then and there, but ennis knowingly cuts him off and says smth like "see you around, jack twist", and shakes his hand goodbye. there was another moment (the divorce admission, the rich and earl confession scene) where jack is talking about their sweet life together, and hes talking about them being in rocking chairs on their porch in front of a nice fire and ughhghf....it called to mind this line in one of my all-time fave fics, Recompense:

Couldn't set out on the porch, just set, quiet and together; there wasn't any porch, wasn't even any house, where they could be seen setting. Start hauling their canes, their bifocals, damn electric blankets, up in back of the pickup? They couldn't have that life. They couldn't have any life at all. The weight of Jack's misery, pressing all around, seemed enough to cave him in.

one i didnt like, though, was when jack and ennis are wrestling, jack gets pinned under ennis and says "sheep be damned!" before ennis kisses him in the first romantic display of affection we see bw the two. also when the sheep get mixed up, ennis has a meltdown and tells jack that aguirre will realize the counts off and put 2 & 2 together that they're fooling around, and he yells smth along the lines of their trist being "sick", and Jack says smth like, "you sure didn't seem to think it was sick this past month."

this is just a me thing honestly bc i'm kind of a SS purist in some instances, and one thing that always stuck with me is that jack and ennis never talk about the sex they're having when they're on brokeback. aside from the "im not no queer" convo, the sex wasn't even alluded to; they just "let it happen," and i think thats veryyy in-line for a character like ennis. i think jack would love to talk about it, but he doesn't wanna spook ennis away, so he keeps his mouth shut. i dont think either of them would speak, even in a roundabout way, abt their sex life when they're 19 on brokeback, and thats why the whole "redlined it all the way couldnt get here fast enough" line is so revelatory imo, bc its the first time either of them acknowledge the conscious choice theyre making to fuck. so idk. i didnt really care for the fact that they were (somewhat) openly referring to their tryst while still on brokeback

- less a note of the show and more a note of the audience, but i saw the show twice and the first night i saw it, the audience laughed at REALLY sad and serious moments that i in no way thought were laugb worthy, and i felt like maybe i was taking the work too srsly until i saw the final performance and THAT audience didnt laugh at any of those really sad moments. so i got rly irritated abt that the first night cause it wasnt even like the lines were delivered in a jokey way or anythibg....

anyways. i need to sleep. look out for some other posts cause im sure ill have more to say the longer i stew on it

[inkblackorchid]

I was gonna try to keep my mouth shut, but I can't. I just can't. I have to go on another Aki rant because I feel like I'm going to explode. It's about this scene:

This drives me insane and I'm putting this under a readmore. Expect incoherent screaming, all ye who enter here.

Ok. Ok. I have so many issues with this scene. Specifically, with the way it develops later, when Aki's busy trying to figure out how to save a child from being swept up by a storm:

And I just. Look, I think the fact that I already wrote a fic that basically completely turns Aki's reaction here on its head should basically tell you everything. But! But. Allow me to defend why I think this whole scene is one big heap of horseshit, with a bit of analysis of canon and actual evidence to back up my claims and shit.

The thing is, I have seen people give this scene a charitable read. I've seen people be happy for Aki to enjoy freedom from the psychic powers that have given her so much trouble in her life. And the thing is, if this were season one or season two Aki, I would be completely on board with that take. Unfortunately, this scene is preceded by the pre-WRGP arc. But more on that below.

Moreover, I can make an educated guess about what they were going for here (in terms of messaging, because this is a kids' show at the end of the day and messaging is something you have to be properly concerned with when it comes to these). I can imagine it running somewhere along the lines of "you don't need special powers to be a hero". Or even "you can grow past the hurt and/or the mistakes in your life and still become a good person or even a hero". And really, I wish I could believe that take. It's just. The writing simply doesn't add up. I wish it did, but it doesn't.

This is where we get back to the pre-WRGP arc. And not just that, actually, but the timeskip between the dark signers and pre-WRGP arc, too. Because the thing is, the last time we have seen Aki in anguish about her powers on-screen by the time the episodes above (108-109) arrive was during the DS arc, during the duel with her father, which happened during episodes 40-41. 40. to. 41. This was over sixty episodes ago at this point. And after that, that's it. As far as the DS arc is concerned, Aki's conflict about her powers is resolved the second she controls them for the first time when her father tries to interfere in her second duel against Yusei.

(Yeah, remember this moment? That was literally the last time we saw Aki in conflict with her powers.)

And I know some people would argue "but what about the dark signer duel with Misty?". And yes, I get it. Misty does accuse her of having murdered her brother with her powers and Aki gets incredibly (understandably) upset about it. But the thing is, we know that's fake, and during the duel, Aki knows that, too. She goes as far as insisting that there were no casualties at the duel where Misty thinks Toby died.

(Yes, I have screenshot proof for literally every dumb little thing in this show, why do you ask?)

It's only after Misty keeps pushing and backing her into a corner during their duel (and literally gaslighting her) that she begins to believe Misty's version of the events. Which is why this doesn't "count" as Aki being in conflict with her powers the way her second duel with Yusei does. At least not to me, feel free to debate me over this if you wanna.

Okay, but what am I driving at here? Fair question. Let me hop back to after the dark signers' defeat.

So, we know there's a half-year timeskip between the DS and the pre-WRGP arc (which was allegedly enough for NDC to connect the city and Satellite, deal with all the social issues that entailed, and also build a giant duel network, which I will never believe but I digress). Unfortunately, what exactly our main characters did during that timeskip is never addressed, it's just kind of there to segway immediately into the WRGP setup. So the only thing we can do is guess at what they got up to based on where they are as people by the time we get back to them during the start of the pre-WRGP arc. So where's Aki at when we see her again after the dark signers' defeat then?

Oh, she's attending duel academy again now! That's nice. So that probably means the student body isn't scared shitless of her anymore and she's not being ostracised anymore.

Wow, she's an exceptional student! That means she must be a really good duellist. So she got the hang of her powers, then?

...Ah.

Do you start to see my problem? Past the DS arc, we are not being given any indication that Aki is still struggling with her powers or still resents them or herself like she used to. You could be forgiven for thinking that she's healed in the meantime. She's fine. She has accepted herself and can now use her powers safely. Which makes her later claiming "she no longer needs that cursed power" a bit... hmmm. And another thing. The fact that she refers to it as "cursed" rubs me the wrong way. After the defeat of the dark signers, she literally never does that even a single time before the moment in the hospital during the storm. (I'd post all the screenshots to prove it here but for one, tumblr doesn't allow it, and for two, I hope you'll believe I did my due diligence without it.)

And it just irks me. If the powers are still a "curse" to Aki by episodes 108-109, why give us the moment above?

And why give us this moment, where she saves Sherry, Yusei, and herself with those powers?

And why give us this moment, where she literally uses her powers at a public event to protect people, and is evidently not cussed out as a witch for it? Neither of these moments do anything to indicate that Aki still hates her powers. They don't indicate that she sees them as a "beast of burden" or necessary evil of a sort, either. On the contrary, I don't think it would be too out there to claim all these moments make her look rather badass. Like a small celebration of "hey, now she can finally use these powers for cool and not evil things!".

Yet, somehow, we still end up with episodes 108-109, where the writers expect the audience to buy that Aki was secretly still hoping she might eventually be rid of these powers after all. And maybe this would be easier to swallow if there weren't also the fact that they later literally go back on it to add to this confusing mess. Because the thing is, we all know the finale scene after the three-way duel with Sherry where Aki protects them with her powers (which have suddenly reappeared, aha!) again and also finds out she can use these powers to heal. So not only is the framing of Aki suddenly being glad to have lost her powers extremely weird, it's also temporary anyway!

So my question is. What was the point. What was the point of all this if the writers ended up going back on it anyway? Because I want to believe there's a reasonable, charitable explanation that also makes sense with what they show us in terms of Aki's characterisation past the DS arc, but if there is, I cannot for the life of me find it. If anything, this whole thing feels like it completely contradicts itself.

First, they tie up Aki's conflict with her powers with a neat bow after she manages not to hurt her father anymore. Then, they launch into the pre-WRGP arc and blatantly tell us that she can now control them. No questions asked. Indisputable fact, and we get nothing that contradicts that, either. Then, we get a bunch of setup showing her using her powers, too, and what's more, we get other significant players in the cast taking notice of it, too, as though it might become relevant. Because Sherry isn't the only one who gets curious about Aki's powers.

(I will never understand how Placido's hood works together with his horn-thingies and have stopped trying at this point.)

The literal, central antagonists of season 3-4 also take notice of it. Like that means something. Like it'll come up again later. But, well. We know it doesn't.

Instead, she suddenly loses her powers out of nowhere (and we are never given a reason for it, either, which does nothing to make this writing decision seem anymore understandable). And, look. The thing that upsets me most about this isn't even the fact that it feels a little inconsistent with Aki's character post DS arc. If that were the only problem, I could still suspend my disbelief far enough to go along with the idea that she secretly still hated her powers quietly in the background and wanted them gone anyway. What really pisses me off is that it reeks of zero setup and knee-jerk decisions in the writing room ten miles against the wind. If they wanted us to believe Aki's glad to be rid of her powers, why give absolutely no indication that she's at odds with them past episode 41 anymore? Why let her state outright that she can now control them? Why show her on several occasions using them to her own and other people's benefit, the way a hero would? And if her powers are supposed to vanish and it's supposed to make sense, why is there no reason for it? They already used cyborg timetravel at that point, they could have literally come up with any nonsense related to that and it would have probably made at least more sense than just letting her powers vanish for no reason at all. Also, if the message behind all this is supposed to be either of the things I mentioned way above—if the idea the audience is supposed to be getting is either "you don't need special powers to be a hero" or "your past and/or your mistakes don't define you and you can heal and grow past them"—why reintroduce the powers, which, in this reading, would be a symbol of Aki's pain, of her mistakes and her dreaded past, at the very end, during the finale, then? It just doesn't add up, and it frustrates me to no end.

The writers wanted to make the moment Aki realises she can help people (well, one person, a child) without her powers seem triumphant so bad, but every time I watch it, it just completely falls flat for me. This isn't a triumph, this is a hot mess of bad writing decisions. All I'm saying is, if they wanted me to buy that Aki would be happy about losing her powers here, they were missing a hefty amount of setup and also shouldn't actually have given them back to her during the finale (no, not even as healing powers).

Moreover... I'll freely admit I also have a personal problem with this scene. I've seen this show and these episodes several times by now, and during my last rewatch and my current one, something about this scene has been creeping up on me, and I think I've figured out what that is now. So I talked about the possible message behind this scene already, and the reading I've given so far was fairly forgiving. But the thing is, there is another reading that has occurred to me that I can't unsee anymore. As much as you could make a valid case that this scene is trying to say that people don't need to be special to be heroes and save others, that past mistakes don't define us, and yadda yadda, there's also a much, much less pleasant way to interpret this scene: "You're better off if you don't stand out." And I'll freely admit, this interpretation probably occurs to me specifically because I was considered a "weird kid" at school, singled out by bullies, and avoided by "popular" kids (take a wild guess why I relate to Aki so much!). And over the years, you learn to downplay that "weirdness" because you become desperate to be accepted by someone, anyone. And given everything the show gives us about Aki's relationship with her powers, it'd make sense that this idea would be buried somewhere in her head, too. It's better not to stand out. Don't be weird. Sand down your edges so there's no chance people could get upset about them. You're better off being whatever everyone else considers "normal" than being whoever you are. It doesn't matter if this is a part of who you are, just become someone else. Someone who's easier to accept. Who's easier to love. You don't need your "weirdness".

You don't need this cursed power.

You know, the "cursed power" that Aki had from the beginning of the show, that was a part of her for years, and that the show didn't give any indication could vanish. The power that we were led to believe would just be there forever, because it was simply a part of Aki, not a conscious thing she (or the narrative) could choose. The power that we were, for all intents and purposes, led to believe she had mastered and maybe even accepted along the way. But sure, let's get rid of that. It's better if she's """normal""". And more convenient for the writers, too! After all, if she doesn't have powers anymore, they can't cause plotholes (of which the WRGP already has enough) and can't possibly give Aki any more badass moments, which makes it that much easier to sideline her. And let's package this weird, shittily set-up moment in a message about how she's better off without her powers anyway. She's happy! It makes complete sense that she's happy. She's finally normal like everyone else. Ignore the way people who might relate to the character could possibly interpret this moment differently. And ignore how none of the writing surrounding this moment makes sense.

...Sigh.

Okay, I think I've let off enough steam. I just. Yeah. I'm sorry, but I cannot for the life of me view this scene in a favourable way and watching it today made me want to chew glass tbh. My only solace is that they went back on this trainwreck writing decision in the finale. Which, really, just makes this whole mess really, really pointless, doesn't it?

For anyone who stuck around this long, thanks for reading. Sorry if this got extra-rant-y. Idk man, I just think “it’s worth the effort to accept yourself as you are, even with all the bits you might not like at first” would have been a better message than whatever this turned out to be.

[pebblysand]

HERE WE GO! WELCOME TO THE PAGE PALS PROJECT! THIS IS YOUR CONVERSATION STARTER FOR CHAPTER ONE. FEEL FREE TO SEND IN ASKS OR JOIN THE DISCORD FOR MORE!

HANDY LINKS/INFO:

chapter: i. out of sand (baby girl)

wordcount: 10, 157

playlist: notes here

castles FAQ: here

g e n e r a l t h o u g h t s:

I felt very emotional, beginning this chapter. There is a sense of finality in this project that I hadn't quite grasped before. This is - in all probability - the last time I read this fic. This is the last time I read this chapter. A chapter I have read dozens of times in the past few years - every time I was stuck, every time I needed to 'get back in.' Most of these paragraphs roll off the tip of my tongue when I read them out loud, because I've seen them so many times. And, I know that for you, reading this, this might not be the last time. Because you will go back, re-read this fic as many times as you like for as long as the internet exists. But I won't. That's not how my brain works, and I need to put projects behind me. To make room for new ones. And, so there is a sense of excitement, yes, reaching the end, but also a sense of grief.

If everything goes well, and if I do post the last chapter when I intend to, castles will have been four years of my life, almost to the day. COVID came and went, so did a couple of jobs, a relationship, a parent. I recently listened to an interview from Alexandre Astier where he described meeting someone in a supermarket once, who asked for an autograph for her husband. 'Ah, he's a massive fan,' she said. 'Though, to be honest, I never got into your work myself.' He was talking about how, for 'normal' people, people who aren't artists, someone else's art is just that: something that you like or don't like. But, for us, it's a part of ourselves. It's thousands of hours of work. And, sometimes, I wonder what castles says about me. What these thousands of hours have come down to. If I die tomorrow, which I hope I do not, this is one the things that I will leave behind me. And, so: what does it say about me? I mean: beyond the politics and the feminism and the quirky little interests. I mean: me, as a person. What do castles readers know about me? I'm not sure I even want to know.

t h e r e - r e a d:

I really enjoyed re-reading this chapter. It's funny to me how for you guys, depending on when you started the fic, you might have read multiple versions of this. I didn't make any big changes, nothing massive, but I did add a couple of scenes/lines here and there throughout the years, I'm curious to see whether you will notice.

in terms of the chapter itself, i think one of the things i like most about it is how it flows. it has that very distinctive castles prose to it, with the timeline that moves back and forth, the run-on sentences, the spiralling in and out of scenes. i recently got a comment on ff.net (lol) that said the chapter was messy and unreadable. and i think in a way, i like that. because frankly, if that bothers you in chapter 1, then you're probably not the right person for this fic, you know? i think chapter one serves its function well. a first chapter is supposed to be an intro, a taste of what you will read next, and i think it is perfect in that. it introduces the plot, the dynamic between the characters. it's long enough to signal that this isn't a fic where you'll read fifteen chapters in half an hour. i think you can read chapter one and tell if this is a fic you'll enjoy or not. and, that's what i want, really. that's what a first chapter should do.

having said that, i think there are two things i want to specifically dive into.

t h e h y p o:

early in the writing of castles, i used to get a lot of criticism about my version of post-war harry and ginny. particularly, there seems to be a subsection of the hinny-shipping crowd that basically thinks that harry and ginny would just meet after the war, scream at each other (or, that at least, ginny would be angry at harry for leaving her behind), kiss and make up, and pour their hearts out to each other about past events. specifically, these people believe that ginny is very good at weeding secrets out of harry, at getting him to talk, and thus the events of castles are not canon compliant with both of these characters.

i feel like objectively, it's not really my place to say whether that's correct. i think multiple versions of the same thing can be 'correct' depending on how you write them. but, if that's what floats your boat, if you have a very strong headcanon about this, then fine - by all means, go read something else (again, that's also the point of chapter 1). but i think this hypothesis sort of stuck in my head for a while, in light of the comments i was getting, because i couldn't help but wonder if that version of things isn't simply an idealised version of reality.

because, to read the books strictly: 1) ginny's anger at harry isn't obvious. you could argue it is there but she's actually quite calm in the break up scene. i am not sure she is that angry with him, especially when you think that she's just been through a war, lost a brother, etc. i think ginny is someone who knows there is a time and place for anger, and who is also incredibly strong and resilient. she still kisses him even after the break-up, after he's clearly decided to leave her behind , so i'm not sure she would lash out in these circumstances. additionally, 2) there's actually not that much evidence that harry and ginny talk to each other - ever. they're a hot and heavy thing, but they don't share much emotional stuff on screen. you can interpret the 'sunlit days' however you want, in the absence of further information, but it's not a given that ginny ever shares anything of importance about her past or her traumas, like what happened with tom. the one scene everyone always points to is the 'lucky you' scene, but that's a mutual understanding more than it is a conversation. she actually never mentions anything beyond very utilitarian details meant to help harry realise he's not being possessed. and, harry never canonically tells ginny about anything of importance in his life either.

and so what all of these comments drove me to do, a few months ago (i think i added this in september 2023) was to link that to the theme of those early chapters of castles. because one of the key elements of chapters 1-3, specifically, is this idea of the lifeline. of the way harry and ginny have spent months, at this point, idealising each other, idealising their reunion, for it to later come crashing down on them. and so i thought i would use the opportunity of chapter one to 1) try and address the 'criticism' above, and 2) make it fit within the world of castles. it led to this:

In his head, their reunion would have been something sweet, like her lips moving against his, the taste of the raspberry-flavoured lip balm she used to wear the year before. He would have confessed to all of his sins, to almost dying, to Hallows and Horcruxes, to the fear and the nightmares, to leaving her behind. ‘I’m sorry,’ he would have said. ‘I am so, so sorry.’  And, he would have tried to explain like he did last year, that all he ever wanted was to protect her, to keep her safe, and she would have yelled. Shouted at the top of her lungs in a rapid succession of angry jabs about what an arsehole he was. ‘I can take care of myself!’ she would have thrown back. ‘You left me!’  He would have looked to his feet. With time, he hopes that they would have fixed it. In reality, though, Ginny Weasley hands him a toothbrush that morning, as he sits back on his heels. Her stare digs holes into the side of his face and he wonders if, had he been Hermione or Luna (had he been a friend, still), she would have cajoled him. Handed him a wet towel for his forehead. Instead, she closes the door behind her on her way out. ‘You should shower,’ she says.

i love the sort of whiplash effect this scenes gives, of the fantasy v. post-war reality, which is obviously a massive theme in castles. and i also love the way it subtly signals that ginny might have changed (just like he has) throughout the war. because, obviously, she has, and we later find out why.

s e x a n d f u n e r a l s:

i cannot express how attached i am to that scene, and to that line in particular. i think there's a number of reasons for this:

first, it's the line that basically motivated me to start castles for real in 2020. i have said this before in other posts but i started drafting some sort of post-war hinny fic as early as 2007. i never finished anything, then when i was 17 (2010), i did a re-read and actually drafted something new. then dropped it again. and, that file transferred from laptop to laptop, from file to file for ten years without me touching it much. until covid came and i was looking through my drive, and i tenderly read what 17-year-old me had written back then, including this 'first time' sex scene which, to be honest, has mostly remained untouched in the final version of this. and, i remember finding it, reading it, and thinking the rest of what i had written was a bit cringe, but that one scene seemed to work. and then, i got to the (now famous) line: to him, the spring of '98 is about sex and funerals, and thought fuck, that's a good line. like, a really good line. and i didn't want to let it go to waste. and, so, four years later, here we are.

i think that line is a very good symbol of what this story is about. 'sex and funerals' - it's a metaphor for how life is about the good and the bad things. that they co-exist as one single entity, and that the beauty of what we do, of the way we live, resides somewhere in between. it's why i chose it as the summary back then, and why it is still the summary now. i really built the entire fic around that line. so, yeah, 17-year-old jo, you already had something going for you, darling.

l a s t l y:

a thought i had while re-reading (and please don't come at me for this), is that... this could have been a one-shot. like, it really could have. i finished chapter 1 and there's a sort of finality to it, isn't there? like, i'm glad i continued this fic, but part of me thinks that all i've been trying to say in the past four years actually is in this chapter. obviously, not as detailed or subtle, but it's there, you know? it could have been a one-shot, lmao.

but anyway, i'm curious, did you guys enjoy your re-read? did you notice the changes i made throughout the years? did you enjoy them? feel free to send me an ask or join the discord server to discuss. i'm so excited to get this discussion started and hear your thoughts!

[sunwarmed-ash]

I love you, friend! 💕

A couple of my headcanons for your amusement:

1) Connor likes to spend his free time playing video games (esp. farming sims) because they trigger the Mission Successful reward system in his brain

2) Gavin has quite the collection of fantasy dildos 😈

first off i love BOTH OF THESE. Very canon to me imo, I wrote the second one first, I hope you enjoy!

*NSFW warning*

Secret Box

This thing, between the three of them, that started small and innocently enough, turned into something so much bigger, stronger, and honestly sexier than any of them initially intended. So much so they closed on a three bedroom house last week and Hank, Sumo, Connor, and Gavin are moving in together. 

But moving is also greuling, at least to the two humans who complained about aches and pains every free moment they could. It's why Connor offered to bring everything in in the first place. Connor would not get tired. He was specifically designed for advanced stamina. But Hank and Gavin were two of the most prideful and stubborn men Connor has ever met. 

It took them a while to agree, but after Hank’s back popped in a way that was more bad than good, he threw the white flag and thanked Connor for his help before going to pass out on the couch. 

Gavin lasted a little longer, but once he and Connor carried their king sized mattress up two flights of stairs, he threw the flag too.  

There aren't too many more boxes, under half a dozen, and most of them headed for the same floor. He should be done and ready to lay down with his exhausted humans in about 15 minutes. 

Connor moves another large wardrobe box containing some of Hank’s old suits exposing a time faded blue, 15x15x10 box that he doesn't remember packing on the truck. Or seeing before honestly. 

Written all across the slightly yellowing cardboard is handwriting that matches Gavin’s, the words, 

DO NOT OPEN UNLESS YOU ARE GAVIN

I MEAN IT DICKHEADS

MY STUFF, HANDS OFF! *

Over almost every surface. 

A padlock opened in Connors vision and a prompt to 

Open the box? 

Had him biting into his lip so hard it bled, in strain to do the right thing. 

Because, well it's not his stuff. It’s very obviously Gavin’s. But whatever is in there, it's obvious he wants to keep it a secret. Under plenty of warfare in fact. 

What's the phrase Hank always says to him, curiosity killed the cat? 

Well, Connor isn't a cat, he’s an android. But he’s also not an idiot. He won’t open it down here, in plain view of everything and everyone. He will take it upstairs, into their shared master bedroom and open it there. 

~

Connor hasn't felt a choice impact him this strongly since he deviated. It's weird. It's just a box, he shouldn't be afraid of the damn thing. But it wasn't necessarily the box that was scary. It was the potential of everything that could be in there. 

What could be in there that Gavin didn't want Hank and him to see?

Maybe it was something super rare. Like the world's only albino guinea pig. 

Or maybe Gavin’s a master jewel thief and it's full of diamonds… 

Or maybe Gavin’s a deranged maniac who keeps his victims severed heads in a box!

Or worse….

What if its an embarassing snapshot of Connor from the DPD Christmas party?!??!

His fans whirring in his obvious anxiety attack has him shaking his head and clearing all of the ridiculous thoughts he just had. It’s just a box. And he knows Gavin better than he knows most people in the world after nearly 2 years. 

But once he opens the lid of the long traveled box, he instantly wished he hadn’t. 

Mostly, because in that moment, someone had come into the room behind him, exposing his crime. And even worse, that person was Gavin. 

“Hey! What are you doing!”

“I'm sorry!!” Connor panics, slapping the lid back onto the box so hard its sides folded under his force. He didn't even get a chance to look at everything inside, he was too scared of Gavin’s much deserved, wrath. 

“Ey, easy!! Those aren't cheap you know!” Gavin says, genuine worry in his tone and Connor’s hands pulls off the box and steps back. 

Hank and Sumo are on Gavin’s heels, barging sleepily into the room to add to his humiliation. 

“What’s- oh shit. Ha! I see you found Gavin’s collection.”

Connor and Gavin’s cheeks boths flushed in embarrassment.

“Hank!” Gavin scolds at the same time Connor asks, 

“What are they?”

“What do you mean what are they? They’re fucking dildos” Gavin says hotly, temperature matching the blood boiling under his cheeks. 

Connor looks at the box with the busted lid again, though he doesn't need to. He has the video feed already saved, he can bring up every inch of his first glimpse in high graphic detail. 

“But, they don’t, look like our other ones,” Connor says carefully, reading Gavins stress levels and adjusting his particular phrasing. 

“Cuz they’re not modeled after human dicks,” Gavin says again, and Connor thinks about the one on top. The one that didn't look like a dick at all. More like a tongue, easily as long as Hank’s cock but curved and shaped drastically different. 

“And that feels good?” there wasn't any judgment in Connor’s voice, just genuine curiosity. He thinks that's what really gives him the upper hand and reduces some of Gavin’s stress. 

“It feels phcking incredible. All of them do.”

“Some of those are big Gavin.”

“I’m well aware.”

Connor’s eyes glazed over, imagining Hank using any of them on Gavin, or vice versa. It was enough motivation for Connor to then ask, with the biggest, softest eyes he can, if he can fuck Gavin with one. 

~

Gavin’s knees shake as he struggles to take the ninth irregularly bulging inch, but he begged for it deeper, his cock still stiff and spitting fluid all down the shaft.

“Phck,” he can’t keep the pant back as much as he wants to. It hurts, but in the way he loves, and the fact that Hank and Connor are both so obviously getting off to it only adds to it. 

“You’re doing so good Gavin,” Hank praises, and Gavin feels more fluid fall off the tip of his cock onto their mattress below. He felt like he was about to lose his mind, so he’s glad at least it looks more polished than he feels. 

“Con, don’t stop, please.” 

Connor’s hand squeezes his hip before twisting the bulging dildo in his ass. 

The pleasure that rocketed through Gavin’s body at that particular action knocks out his knees and Gavin is barely holding his face off the mattress by his elbows. “Oh my god.”

“It’s actually Connor, but I appreciate the compliment,” the robot sasses and if Gavin wasn’t so desprate for an orgasm, he might have shot something back. Instead he shuddered, and pulled his tired legs back to their original position. It lined one of the bumps of the dildo up with his prostate and Gavin was putty in Connor’s hands. 

“Are you gonna cum?” Hank asks, sitting on the bed beside him, running his warm hand across Gavin's face to get the sweat out of his eyes. 

Gavin nods in Hank’s hand, and then Connor’s thrusts becomes relentless. It doesn't take much at all, and then Gavin is screaming through a painfully strong orgasm. 

~

AN: I'm sorry for the minor crack, but I just had to with the spongebob reference. It really wrote itself. You can blame Daddy Clancy for the melding of fandoms in my brain. 

As for the sex toys, use your imagination or alt the links I got the inspo from 1. 2.

* do I have a box just like this? Wouldn't you like to know weather boy.

[anghraine]

I meant to post a bit more about the Jedi: Survivor experience with my best friend and Ash, and keep ... not doing it, mostly because I couldn't think of a way to do it without massive spoilers. But here are some (yes, massively spoilery) impressions of the first half (or so?) of the game under the cut:

There are definitely traces of the usual Star Wars uncritically colonialist assumptions, IMO—we're still discovering exactly what ye olde Jedi got up to on Koboh and how the narrative will ultimately treat it, but it's even more striking in some ways in Cere's dynamic with the Anchorites on Jedha, I feel? I like Cere a lot and it's not uncomplicated, but ... yeah.

Aesthetically, Jedha fucking rules. For all the variety and diversity of Koboh, Jedha feels so drastically different in every way, and the locations there are just incredibly cool and distinctive while still feeling recognizably "Jedha." I've loved just about everything we've seen there, especially the singing temple stuff. The revelation that the Empire didn't even know this amazing ancient temple they were destroying was a safehouse and were just destroying Jedha's wonders for unrelated casual Imperial reasons made its destruction hit even harder, honestly.

I also love Koboh a lot. It is nice to spend time in a planet with varied biomes and some of the specific locations are deeply interesting—I like the old meditation chambers/puzzles a lot, the Lucrehulk "dungeon" was absolutely fantastic, and I love the way Pyloon's evolves as you recruit people and do quests and things. It reminds me a bit of one of my favorite mechanics from the beloved game of my childhood, Might and Magic VII, in which your initially shitty castle evolves over the course of the game as you build up your reputation with people who can work on it. That was a lot rougher and more basic than Survivor's development of the saloon, though, so I'm really loving this base-building kind of aspect to it. You can even grow a garden <3

OUR GIRLFRIEND MERRIN IS THE GREATEST <333 I don't even like the concept of Nightsisters and I adore her to pieces. The romance is incredible. J, who is handling the controls (Ash and I have admitted we don't have the nerves for the game's parkour requirements), managed to navigate the whole "Do you trust me" portal sequence without a single failure, so it was just this wildly cinematic experience following from one of the few really good game kisses I've seen. I'm pretty sure J was sweating after the portal sequence though—it was wild. Definite MVP.

I really enjoy the variations in personality between the random indistinguishable enemies. Even the basic raiders have people who sound like Sith cultists and others who talk about how sad it is that the Jedi are gone, and the B1s are funny but also the fact that there are some who are ambitious and wildly overconfident, some are just kind of amiably clueless, some are scared and actually say they don't want to be used by the radiers ... B1 rights, honestly.

We have a lot of reservations about Santari Khri and also enjoy the sheer obnoxiousness of Dagan Gera. There's obviously quite a lot to learn about what exactly his deal is (apart from being the latest in the SW tradition of Scary Disabled Men, I guess!), but he's such a dick, lol. J trashed him in our most recent fight and the whole time, Dagan was sneering about how pathetic and pitiable Cal is and how everything is part of his master plan before running away with his tail between his legs. Ash went, "this guy, what is his deal" and I was like "Obviously it was all a social experiment!"

I think the raider bosses who have been rewarded with ancient recovered lightsabers are really interesting as foes in combat, because the first time it happened, we were like "what the fuck?? is this another Jedi apostate or what" and as the fight really kicked off, I went "...actually, I can't exactly say why, but I'm pretty sure this guy isn't Force-sensitive." J went "yeah, it really feels like he was never any kind of Jedi, but not for any especially obvious reason..." It's an interesting element of game design that you get such a distinct vibe from lightsaber-wielding combatants who can't use the Force without a single obvious element.

Fratricide guy was creepy as fuck, what the hell was that character design, God

I love nearly all the other named locals, though. Not just Greez (though I love Greez), but the bar regulars are just such a fun crowd. Not sure anyone can surpass SKOOVA STEV but Caij is a delight, the random finance bro is hilarious, Monk is one of my favorite droids ever, Zee the droid is more truly Jedi than most actual Jedi, etc etc.

There's a random interspecies gay couple, which was kind of charming, in part because their relationship is apparently built on the strong basis of them both being haters. Love it for them, though the one is so visibly inhuman that it's like... okay, cool, but feels like LF definitely hedging their bets still.

It's taken a long time to mention the protagonist, but I actually do really like Cal. He definitely doesn't exist in my personal OT-based vision of this era, but I don't feel like I need to accept him into my personal Star Wars Prime Storyline to enjoy this for what it is. I wish more SW EU products felt that way, honestly.

[burst-of-iridescent]

so i just went through your entire anti-lok tag and everything you said in it was SO WELL WRITTEN. i wanted to ask if you might have any analyses or anything (or just good old rants! we love being bryke haters) - about something that i noticed, which is this sort of... ATLA/TLOK dichotomy between how all aang's villains seem to be focused on gaining power/dominating the world or whatever, but the villains in TLOK seem to revolve around very pointed targeting of korra and specifically stripping her of her agency/bodily autonomy, but i don't know how to expand on that point.

(idk just. TLOK has a whole list of scenes that make me VIOLENTLY uncomfortable in a way even the worst of ATLA doesn't? and i thought you might have some input to share about it, if you don't mind me asking)

thank you sm!! i'm glad you enjoy my lok and bryke salt <33

i know what you mean, because it's something that struck me when i was watching lok as well. korra's villains are far more personal to her (particularly in what they do to her, or want from her) than azula or ozai or even zhao ever were to aang, and while that isn't necessarily a bad thing (in fact it can often be good to have a personal relationship between your hero and villain; just look at how much more impactful and meaningful zuko and azula's arc was compared to aang and ozai's), there is a way to do it right and that was... not what bryke did.

we didn't need to see korra brutally bloodbent and stripped of her bending, or brutally attacked by unalaq, or brutally tortured by the red lotus or - you got it - brutally beaten up by kuvira (over and over again, might i add). i'm not saying that violence never has its place in storytelling, but it needs to have an actual purpose that's not just shock value. atla, for instance, knew when and how to utilise violence: the sight of gyatso's skeleton in the southern air temple, aang's murder by azula, even katara bloodbending... the violence in all of those scenes was necessary either to communicate vital information to the audience, or drive home the emotive and narrative significance of the moment, or both.

in lok though, bryke hardly, if ever, achieved either of these objectives - especially because it was mainly only ever korra who got the brunt of the violence. no other character is repeatedly targeted and assaulted and violated even half as much as korra is, even when they're facing the same antagonists. tenzin's fight against the red lotus in book 3 gets a tasteful pan to black (one of the few times i think bryke did use violence purposefully; knowing what not to show is just as important as knowing what to show, and leaving the audience with the dread of tenzin's fate was actually sadder and more terrifying than letting us see what happened to him) but korra's agonizing torture at the hands of the red lotus is so long and drawn-out that it begins to veer into torture porn.

imo, this can probably be attributed to two things: 1) bry.ke thinking trauma = character development because they don't know how else to write a good character arc (and they still somehow fucked it up - i will never forgive them for making korra thank zaheer, of all people, for helping her overcome her trauma, like what the absolute fuck bry.ke), and 2) they wanted lok to be "more mature" than atla, which shows both that they fundamentally didn't understand atla, or what constitutes good storytelling, and also that someone desperately needs to tell them that simply upping the violence and hamfistedly handling "complex" topics does not maturity make.

(given the way bryke has written women, i also have to side-eye the fact that the strong-willed, independent, brown female protagonist is beaten and battered and torn down far more than the peaceful, affable light-skinned male protagonist ever is, even during an actual war.)

and of course, contrary to what our dear bryke probably expected, simply brutalizing korra season after season in the name of shock value and development did not, to anyone else's surprise, make lok the better show in the end.

[altschmerzes]

oh i'm FASCINATED to hear what your thoughts on lost are so far

FAIR WARNING this is probably not going to be very nice to the show so if you're a big lost enjoyer and don't wanna see that this would be the time to keep scrolling. sorry for the delay also. guy who has been typing his thoughts and then getting distracted on a loop for several days.

basically: i don't know why, but i have been deeply compelled to watch the show lost recently. like, i genuinely don't have an explanation. i know i'd seen like, half of season one about a million years ago and have no memory of any of it so this is functionally my first go through it.

in short: i think it has its strengths and its weaknesses. to me, more weaknesses than strengths. i know opinion degraded as time went on but even just where i am now, i do not know why this thing has the like 'one of the best shows of all time' reputation that it has. i really, truly don't. like, it's fine, sometimes it's even good, but like. why do people talk about this like it is the pinnacle of television. it is however like, almost hypnotically watchable, and i keep going through like, handfuls of episodes at once.

more under the cut.

in long: so i'm on the early early episodes of season 2 and i already know that most of this show is mystery boxes inside mystery boxes half of which never really have a payoff that's satisfying and so i'm pre-emptively frustrated by that. it's like.... i would love to be excited by the mysteries that come up, but instead of getting to excitedly wonder 'oh wow i wonder what the explanation for that will be!' i'm instead sitting here thinking 'gee i hope that's one of the ones we get an answer to.' it's not a great feeling, and mostly i'm like. man why do they keep giving jj abrams creative authority over things. he's a good director, why do they keep ruining that by letting him WRITE too.

also there is so much weird racism and misogyny in here lmao. gd.

anyways. moving on to specifics.

i will confess i am a sucker for disaster survival scenarios. it's half the appeal of any apocalyptic thing to me, and this delivers. i'm enjoying the mystery boxes when i can put aside the fact that i might not get to see inside them at all, depending. i think the flashbacks are well structured and sprinkled in with effective timing and degrees of revealed information. i think one of my fave parts is how much of like... the Weird Shit in the flashbacks is just. not clear about whether or not it's related to the island? were the numbers hurley used to win the lottery actually cursed? does disaster and death follow walt around or is his former stepdad just an asshole and it's all a coincidence? what was up with the fucking psychic claire talked to? etc. that's one of the ones where i'd be fully comfortable with that question never being answered. it's satisfying as hell just to wonder.

characters! the extent to which i do not give a single fuck about jack, kate, and sawyer is amazing. like. they're all so resoundingly uninteresting to me. i actively think everyone here would be better off if sawyer was dead, because even for me (noted asshole with a heart of gold enjoyer, I KNOW, I KNOW) he is A Bit Fucking Much. if he does not ease up soon it's gonna be Bad. i mean it's already bad but. lmao. his best moments so far were telling jack about what jack's dad said to him in the bar and saving michael after the raft is destroyed. kate is just... everything about her is so overwrought and i'm just bored and a little embarrassed every time we have something focusing on her. i do like that she's abjectly doing shady shit sometimes, they should lean into that more. gaslight gatekeep girlboss etc. jack is so nothing it's amazing. he is baymax to me. he is not even baymax, baymax had more of a personality. why is he the protagonist of this show, he is such a generic white dude audience insert character.

i really love sun, hurley, charlie, claire, michael, walt, and - when he is not YELLING AT HIS WIFE - jin is okay too. i also really enjoy sayid and i have to say that like. i think they have massively fucked it up with his writing in several points, it's like. stereotypical and almost comically racist at times but i also have to like... idk, i do have a significant degree of legitimate respect for the swing they took with him in the first place, to be honest. it's like. idk. this was a show that aired in 2004, written and filmed before that, and i know his character made a lot of people Big Fucking Mad to have in a show about a plane crash as an unambiguously sympathetic and positively depicted character, missteps in his writing and all. it doesn't excuse the mistakes made with him obviously but the context in which he was written makes me like. idk. appreciate the fact that he exists, and kinda tip my hat to like. you guys Tried saying something here. i gotta respect that.

jin and michael's odd-couple friendship is extremely charming to me. hurley is the sweetie of all time and i really love how he just... is willing to interact with people on a straightforward level no matter who they are or what's going on? locke cracks me the fuck up. like all his magic healing disability and general premonition shit aside, it's extremely funny to me to watch grandpa survivalist finally get to LARP his dreams of being a hardcore jungle man. he is fucking insane gd blass.

i will say um. the less said about shannon and boone the better. eugh. literally why would you do that. like... it throws me so much every time someone finds out about That Whole Mess and literally does not react at all. before somebody screams and whines and cries about how IT'S FINE TO EXPLORE TABOO SUBJECTS IN FICTION STOP BEING A PURITAN YOURE BEING A FAN COP WAAAAAAA i'm not saying you can never write this sort of thing just like. literally why is the entire narrative framing of it a tragic starcrossed lover thing. why is nobody reacting like this is as nasty and weird as it is. lmao.

anyways.

here's some clips from my watching it, mostly based in how fucking funny i think jack's whole Situation is.

[quietbooklion]

Some thoughts on Ayakoi App

Since I'm replaying Ayakoi so I get to post my overall thoughts on the common routes, each faction and their respective characters, I also wanted to talk about how I felt overall about the game, more specifically the app since the Switch version is just a visual novel without the gacha mechanics.

Overall I think that Ayakoi is a good game. Not perfect, mind you but a good game. I do enjoy the setting of it taking place in the Meiji era along with the use of Ayakashi and reincarnation. And I do like the characters, even the ones who I consider to be just fine. More than that, I liked how each faction tells a different story and how tied each character is to said faction. And not to mention the main theme of the game is the bonds between people, whether they be romantic, familial, or platonic. And it's just a chill game you can play. So yeah, I think it's a good game. But it's not without its issues.

I think my main takeaway issue would have to be that the game works better as a regular visual novel, not a gacha. Because you can't rely that much on a gacha game that has a short shelf life, especially if it's not making money, which is the case for Ayakoi for the JP server and especially the EN server which stopped any and all updates. The way I see it, Ayakoi really is just a chill, comfy type of game that has a decent amount of plot and character development. The more I'm playing the Switch version, the more I appreciate the fact I can just sit back and enjoy the story without the hassle of getting SSR cards and the amount of grinding and materials I needed. I know that Event stories and both SR and SSR cards have stories that help further the character's development, add in more backstory, and I do like that added detail to the overall arching storyline. Personally for me I never worried whether I got a character's card or not in the gacha banner because I knew I wouldn't be missing out on much as compared to the Main and Event stories. (Unless it's Oji, then I'm gonna collect every one of his cards). So when I look at the game as a whole, I don't see any reason why it should be a gacha when I can easily see it as another type of Love 365 game where you buy a main and side stories with coins.

Now, with Ayakoi running on a live server, it's going to inevitably get hit by an EOS announcement or like with the EN server, stop updating entirely. It's not a matter of if it'll happen but when. And seeing that Voltage's apps don't seem to be doing all that well financially, I'm not sure when Ayakoi will stop updating or get shut down. And if it does shut down entirely, all the stories will be gone, which is why I hope one day Voltage will release all story content as DLC to the Switch or release Ayakoi on Steam. We get the Night faction story, Event stories, and the sequel stories as DLC. I mentioned in a previous post that at the rate Koga's Sequel story has been released (Half of it was released and years later they're releasing the other half), I do not see the other guys getting their sequel stories before the game stops updating or shuts down. There are so many unanswered questions and loose threads for each of the character's storyline (especially for Yura and the Night faction) that we'll probably never get the answers if the game shuts down. Which is why I hope people archive this kind of stuff before it gets lots in the ether.

I still think Ayakoi overall is a good game for what it is. I hope one day Voltage will just release everything as DLC for the Switch or a Steam release. I would gladly pay for it just to preserve it. I very much adore this game.