#end generational trauma

[theereina]

[starry-bi-sky]

do yall ever think about bruce/batman!clone danny standing in front of his bathroom mirror after finding out he was a clone and silently tracing his face. The slope of his jaw and point of his chin. The high angle of his cheekbones and the shape of his eyes, the curve of his brow bones and the shape of his nose. The volume of his hair and the way it curls and gets fluffy when it gets too long.

His hair is black the same way a crow's wing is black. His dad's hair is black the same way a black bear's fur is black. His dad's eyes are blue like the ocean is blue. Danny's eyes are blue the same way a glacier is blue.

His dad has a square jaw and straight flat hair, and he tans and gets a face full of freckles when he's out in the sun for too long. Danny burns like a lobster and his face remains untouched. Danny has a sharp jaw and tall cheekbones, and Sam says when he's not smiling there's almost something regal about him. You would never call Jack Fenton "regal" when he's not smiling.

Sam says when he's not smiling he looks scary the same way a stone statue is. Jack Fenton when he's not smiling looks scary the same way that german shepherd staring at you across the street is.

Do you ever think he grew up wondering if he was adopted. Because of course, he has black hair and blue eyes like his dad. But having the same color doesn't make you someone's child.

Or, worse, things he's heard from the other kids and the other parents and even some of his teachers growing up; that he was the product of an affair. And that his dad was just too stupid to notice. And Danny would defend his parents until the day he died, because Jack Fenton wasn't an idiot and Maddie Fenton wasn't a cheater.

But doubt comes in with fickle tongue. his parents swear up and down that he is their child when he asks about either. That Danny just had his grandparents' features, but he was their son and they loved him.

But Danny doesn't look like either of his parents. His mom's eyes are blue like an aquamarine and Jazz's too. And they burn like lobsters in the sun too, but Jazz gets freckles on her face and so does Maddie. And as Danny grows up he doesn't bulk up or get stocky like his dad did, and when he hits puberty he doesn't shoot up like a tree like Jack Fenton did.

He stays small, and they say he's a late bloomer (and he is), or that he just has his mom's height. But he's fast and has good stamina, and some days it feels like he's built entirely different from his family. That the things they went through growing up just didn't apply to him. Jack and Maddie Fenton both had acne and breakouts when they hit puberty, and Jazz inherits it and he's seen the amount of skincare products she keeps on her side of the bathroom.

And then he hits puberty and breaks out maybe once or twice, but his skin stays clear for the most part and the problems and changes his dad went through just don't happen to him.

And the truth is worse than all of the lies.

How horrifying.

[clairenatural]

okay but you see sam has ALSO fallen for dean's act. sam also believes dean to be the macho, daddy's soldier, beer boobs cars guy he presents himself as. this is why sam makes fun of dean whenever he even lightly steps out of that mold and thinks it's harmless banter instead of attacking an insecurity. it's why he laughs when john talks down to dean in the early seasons and it's why he seems surprised when dean is more comfortable with himself in the later seasons. it's why he just scoffs but doesn't push it when dean puts up a front and refuses to talk about his emotions and just accepts whatever excuse he makes at face value. it's why he offers dean a strip club to make him feel better when cas dies. and this isn't his fault!! dean has spent a very long time perfecting this image in front of everyone and ESPECIALLY to sam because along with it comes safety and security and stability and the only person. who has consistently been able to see through it. is castiel

[ineed-to-sleep]

Some sketches I did to try to get a feel for what I want my Rook to look like 🤔

[akirathedramaqueen]

The bias is not always conscious

And that's the case with Stolas. That's it, that's basically the post, so you can count it as your tl;dr, but let me elaborate. :)

(A little gratitude note! Sorry @tealvenetianmask, I failed being concise here, but I thank you for encouraging me to put it all together :3 I also thank you for our conversations about Stolas and about museums in particular which heavily contributed to it)

I think there's some misunderstanding when people get offended by the suggestion that Stolas acts classist/racist. It seems that people assume we’re implying he is malicious and intentional with it, but the actual problem is that he doesn't think.

S2EP2, Seeing Stars, 1:29

The problematic behavior we're discussing is reflexive and internalized. Stolas was raised in an environment where the lower demon class is looked down upon, and while he believes he expresses nothing but deep respect for Blitzø and treats him as an equal…

Goodnight, Blitzø. S1EP7, Ozzie's, 14:50

And while you can see from this bow that this intention is sincere, which is both wonderful and fascinating—he preserved this profound gesture ever since he was a kid, despite being actively discouraged from doing so!...

[Stolas]: I'm Stolas! It's nice... Ouch! [Paimon]: Don't bow to that one! He bows to us! Idiot! S2EP1, The Circus, 7:40

He was still raised in privilege and influenced by the narratives around him. For him, it's acceptable because that's what he was taught is fine. It's part of his everyday speech, and he never actually asks Blitzø, or anyone else, how they feel about the literally belittling nicknames (like literally—do you notice how often he uses the word "little" when referring to imps?).

I mean... there's a lot, okay? I'm just going to pull out some examples off the top of my head. All of them are from Season 1, and I'll explain why later.

I was hoping you brave little imps would accompany us! S1EP2, Loo Loo Land, 5:15

Ugh, that's better... Where's Blitzy? He's my knight in shining armor, not you, littler ones! S1EP2, Loo Loo Land, 13:22

And it [grimoire] isn't supposed to be lent out to itty-bitty imps like yourself. S1EP5, The Harvest Moon Festival, 0:30

Greetings, tiny Wrath Ring imps! S1EP5, The Harvest Moon Festival, 8:22

[Stolas, in the background]: Who dares threaten my little impish plaything? S1EP6, Truth Seekers, 18:20

How the fuck did you get caught by humans? Are you little creatures not being careful up here? S1EP6, Truth Seekers, 19:38

He also takes pride in being part of Ars Goetia. That pride seeps into his mind whether he wants it to or not. He lives in a huge palace, never worries about money, can arrange a seat in a club that’s always booked out, and gets admitted to a hospital immediately, while hellhounds wait five years for a Hellbies shot.

Being part of the Goetia family is rather valuable, you know. S1EP2, Loo Loo Land, 4:39

Most of these examples come from Season 1 because, after the disastrous Ozzie’s date, Stolas begins to unconsciously cut back on this language. He seems to sense that something is wrong, though he doesn’t fully understand why. However, he is acutely aware of the problems with the transaction and the unfair dynamics it creates, and he is serious about putting Blitzø on equal ground by providing him with the means to run his business independently of Stolas.

And still, he maintains full control over the conversation during the Full Moon meeting, immediately dismisses Blitzø after one mistake, and throws him out. He continues to impose his narrative on Blitzø and…

I don't look down on you! How many times do I— When have I ever?! S2EP9, Apology Tour, 2:45

When have you ever indeed, Stolas? You literally look down on Blitzø saying that. This moment illustrates the problem clearly. He isn’t lying when he says he doesn’t look down on Blitzø because he genuinely believes he doesn’t.

Despite all said, Stolas is making a tremendous effort and is progressing, and he is far ahead of Stella, who is openly classist/racist and very conscious of her biases. So I believe—no, I know—he will get there one day. But not today.

This is something I take quite seriously, and I think people need to understand how dangerous this subtlety can be, as it happens all the time in real life too.

How often do you ask yourself why medical research groups are predominantly represented by white, cis, upper-middle-class males, and how this affects the efficiency of treatments suggested in these studies for everyone else—women, people of color, non-binary folks, and those who struggle financially?

How often do you visit museums and see art created by wealthy aristocrats who defined what constitutes 'fine art,' while 'folk art'—often created by marginalized communities—is overlooked and lost to time?

I could elaborate further on how deep and cruel this bias is, but I’ll stop here. I just ask you to consider why you might get offended when someone points out Stolas's subtle bigotry and why you might downplay it compared to the loud, aggressive Blitzø, whose anger and avoidant issues are obvious.

Just sit with it.

[4threset]

"There is a nearness and its gravity is echoing."

[glassrooibos]

Look I can’t draw stoats ok IM SORRY OK I still love them

[porrigens]

my contribution to @sintracorp-zine 📦

[tvmusiclife]

🥹

[cult-of-the-eye]

undiagnosed autistic jonathan sims as an 8 yr old being raised by his traditional south asian grandmother who thinks autism is either rude geniuses or children with "mental issues" so she just thinks jon is different. so she tries to change him, she tries to hammer the rules she got taught to assimilate into an entirely different society into him, where you must always excuse yourself from the table and never eat rice with your hands. she tried her best. but so did he.

[fandomsnrambles]

Huh, found an older art piece of the FSM as a child

My anatomy is meh here but oh well. The eyes around him are basically the onis and the dragons. Its the pressure he felt when they were making him chose sides in a war… yikes.

Rambling below cut (and sketch!)

I hc he ran away when he was 14-15. This is him as a kid, basically 14. Also, i thought it’d be fun if he looked like both his sons hence the two toned hair (personally think he made his kids asexually btw cause its hilarious)

I also like to think hes a lot like BOTH his sons personality wise.

ANYWAY that moment when trauma hits you like a truck. As a child soldier, you are robbed of your childhood (lloyd parallel fr) and then you run away making 16 realms, 2 kids and possibly humans as well. You ingrain it into your everyday life and never realise your coping methods are unhealthy until you suddenly realise you’ve hurt your sons, but its too late by then.

My angst material is focusing on the generational trauma here btw

I mean FSM runs from the pressure from everyone around him -> Wu and Garmadon feel pressure to uphold their fathers expectations and everyone elses -> Lloyd trying to uphold expectations from everyone around him…

(Also, so fun cause my lloyd design looks like his grandfather, OOF think of the parallels is what i’m saying)

This family makes me crazy…

Bonus,, sketch

[worldwright]

childhood books that are so fucked up on the reread part 1 of infinty: septimus heap. our guy was a child soldier from birth. the entire city-state dealt with an oppressive police state for a decade, waiting for the monarchy to resurface. this fucking necromancer will not ever go away. not after the first time he dies and certainly not after the fifth. you'd think he'd be bored by now. some old queen moved a tower to the other side of the palace for no reason. the main character got time-kidnapped for six months and had to live in the same place that all his loved ones had not been born in yet. his best friend was raised by wolverines. his other best friend is named Beetle. the castle is called The Castle. there's a defunct nuclear reactor underneath it. some of the rats can talk and have human levels of intelligence and people still put out rat traps and try to kill them. there's a fuckin time purgatory that some guy thought everyone would love even as an increasing number of random lost travelers got trapped there forever. if you think you know all the secret tunnels under this place no you don't. and you can rent pink paddleboats in the summer

[the-witch-of-woods-beyond]

“if you go, i’ll stay, you come back, i’ll be right here” but it’s clarke griffin giving her life so that bellamy blake and all her friends could make it to space, surviving through sheer will, and calling him on a radio every single day for six years until he could return to her and the home she built for them all.

[kraviolis]

i keep seeing ppl in the notes on my camila post being all like "dont drag greg universe he was a great dad" which yeah, he was! i'd never argue against that. he did so good with what he had, but i would not say that greg was ever as involved in steven's life as much as he should have been.

the mr. universe episode in SU:F is proof of this. greg had helicopter parents that micromanaged him, so greg did what anyone would: he raised steven in the exact opposite way. is that a bad thing? depends on how you look at it. let me explain my perception:

steven grew up with so much freedom. he was allowed to eat what he wanted, dress himself how he wanted, go where he wanted, and do what he wanted. greg gave steven everything he never had growing up, but in doing so he deprived steven of everything he did have as a kid.

the reason steven clings to tightly to routines, schedules, specific diets & mealtimes, work, academics, etc. is because he did not have access to these things as a child. do you know how important routine is for a growing child? steven didn't even have a specific bedtime as a child. that shit absolutely fucks with your entire circadian rhythm later in life.

to be fair, i believe greg did the right thing with keeping steven out of public school. he wouldn't have thrived in that environment at all and it wouldve done more harm than good and greg did a great job making sure that steven wasnt too emotionally or socially stunted from this choice.

but everything else... the no doctor appts, no dentists, no bedtime, no mealtimes, no private bedroom, no supervision for like 80% of the time-- like, greg didn't even homeschool steven beyond third grade, probably.

greg was a good man for getting over his anxiety around magic/gem stuff enough to allow steven be so heavily involved in it. he recognized that steven needed to integrate with gem stuff to have that connection to his mother. i will never argue that greg should've sheltered steven more. he raised a good fucking kid. and without steven's involvement, the earth would've literally been destroyed.

but here's the problem. greg was more worried about being like his parents than he was of the effects this shit would have on steven's life. he made steven feel like he had to choose between two worlds. like he wasn't allowed to be both gem and human because greg would flinch and look away from steven's powers.

i do not blame him. he's only human and hindsight is a bitch. but we cannot deny that greg did in fact neglect steven by not being more involved with steven's life as a gem.

was greg a bad father? no. not at all. he made mistakes. all parents do. but greg often and actively refused to be involved in such a major part of steven's life. even if we factor in that the crystal gems themselves made him feel unwelcome, it still doesn't ever excuse it.

[lgbtlunaverse]

I think if marcille opened her mind a little beyond her mild butchphobia she'd honestly find postcanon more masc-presenting Falin SO hot like... Falin travelling the world and bringing her gifts from faraway countries, climbing in through her window late at night upon return to see her before anyone else. Literally the prince of Marcille's dreams if only she could see it. She's not quite there yet but she'll get it eventually I believe in her.