#and i never did finish the book but god am i reminded of that.

[starry-bi-sky]

do yall ever think about bruce/batman!clone danny standing in front of his bathroom mirror after finding out he was a clone and silently tracing his face. The slope of his jaw and point of his chin. The high angle of his cheekbones and the shape of his eyes, the curve of his brow bones and the shape of his nose. The volume of his hair and the way it curls and gets fluffy when it gets too long.

His hair is black the same way a crow's wing is black. His dad's hair is black the same way a black bear's fur is black. His dad's eyes are blue like the ocean is blue. Danny's eyes are blue the same way a glacier is blue.

His dad has a square jaw and straight flat hair, and he tans and gets a face full of freckles when he's out in the sun for too long. Danny burns like a lobster and his face remains untouched. Danny has a sharp jaw and tall cheekbones, and Sam says when he's not smiling there's almost something regal about him. You would never call Jack Fenton "regal" when he's not smiling.

Sam says when he's not smiling he looks scary the same way a stone statue is. Jack Fenton when he's not smiling looks scary the same way that german shepherd staring at you across the street is.

Do you ever think he grew up wondering if he was adopted. Because of course, he has black hair and blue eyes like his dad. But having the same color doesn't make you someone's child.

Or, worse, things he's heard from the other kids and the other parents and even some of his teachers growing up; that he was the product of an affair. And that his dad was just too stupid to notice. And Danny would defend his parents until the day he died, because Jack Fenton wasn't an idiot and Maddie Fenton wasn't a cheater.

But doubt comes in with fickle tongue. his parents swear up and down that he is their child when he asks about either. That Danny just had his grandparents' features, but he was their son and they loved him.

But Danny doesn't look like either of his parents. His mom's eyes are blue like an aquamarine and Jazz's too. And they burn like lobsters in the sun too, but Jazz gets freckles on her face and so does Maddie. And as Danny grows up he doesn't bulk up or get stocky like his dad did, and when he hits puberty he doesn't shoot up like a tree like Jack Fenton did.

He stays small, and they say he's a late bloomer (and he is), or that he just has his mom's height. But he's fast and has good stamina, and some days it feels like he's built entirely different from his family. That the things they went through growing up just didn't apply to him. Jack and Maddie Fenton both had acne and breakouts when they hit puberty, and Jazz inherits it and he's seen the amount of skincare products she keeps on her side of the bathroom.

And then he hits puberty and breaks out maybe once or twice, but his skin stays clear for the most part and the problems and changes his dad went through just don't happen to him.

And the truth is worse than all of the lies.

How horrifying.

[targaryenluvs]

SEE YOU AGAIN

pairings: robb stark x fem!targaryen!reader, platonic!stark family x reader

warnings: none!

a/n: i had only two drafts and this was one of them!! might just get back into got/hotd writing! god this was written a while ago

Within an hour you wound up being introduced to the entire Stark family. You especially liked Ayra, she reminded you of Rhaenyra in certain aspects such as her rebellious behaviour. Although you did have to cover your head with a scarf for the most part, your violet eyes were quite hard to miss. You chalked it up to a birth defect and were introduced as a maiden of the Red Keep, returning home for marriage but also a friend of the Eldest three children.

You yourself had never visited the North before, as your parents had deemed it unworthy of being visited by a Princess. But you found yourself growing fond of the place despite its cold nature.

You had also found Nyraxes huddled in front of a bonfire in a near by cave. Surprisingly she hadn’t torched the entire area and it’s inhabitants. You had wondered how the Starks had managed to tame a dragon.

But at the moment you were more concerned about getting home. As nice as it was to be in the area, you found yourself surprisingly longing for the Red Keep. Currently you found yourself dining with the family, the food seemed foreign, scarcely containing any notable fruit or vegetables but Jon had explained the lack of crop in such harsh times, which you understood. You felt uncomfortable, out of place.

Everyone chatted so freely, everyone knew each other where as you were an outsider in every way. Your gorgeous purple eyes in contrast to the ever so common brown and black, bright, striking silver hair which was no longer covered, compared to red and brown.

“Y/n, who are you marrying my dear?” Catelyn questioned you as the entire table diverted their gaze to you. Your face became hot, especially under Robb’s sharp gaze. “Yes Y/n, who are you betrothed to?” You felt like ripping him a new one, perhaps feeding him to Nyra.

“I’ve returned home for my parents, we’re heading up to Casterly Rock for the wedding, he’s a lord but I doubt you would know of him your grace.” Laughs bellowed out around you, Robb loudest of all.

“Your grace?” Robb cried out. “Hush you all. She has decorum and respect unlike most, why mock her for it? My dear, please, call me Catelyn.”

You nodded.

Ed and Catelyn still didn’t know of your real name, nor your lineage/descent. That much they may have been able to get their heads around but you weren’t so sure they would have opened up their castle to you quite so swiftly if they knew of the, as most royals and small folk would claim, “Beast” in the caves.

You sat at your windowsill looking out onto the courtyard as a someone knocked on your door. “You alright if I come in love?” You allowed him in. “Not the view your used to?” You nodded, “I wish to go home Robb. But if what you say is true how can I? All the Targaryens are gone. My Aemond, ended up dead in battle Above the Gods Eye along with my Uncle Daemon. Aegon, Helaena, Her children, Otto, Rhaenyra, Nyra, Jace, Luke everyone. In the history books and life I am forever known as the Princess who Hid. A coward.” You cried as he sat down and hugged you.

As he soothed you Robb slowly raised you face to him, as he wiped away your tears. “Not everyone.” Your head shot up, “What?” You croaked, “I didn’t finish the book my love. Aenys the mad King has two surviving children. Daenerys and Viserys. Although Viserys passed away a long time ago.”

“A-and Daenerys?” “Alive, and well as it seems. She’s been wed to Khal Drogo seemingly pregnant too as it seems.” Robb swiped a stray hair behind your ear as he leaned in, so did you.

-

You woke up the next morning after Robb as his side of the bed was seemingly empty. You prayed to the old gods and new that no one had heard the two of you yesterday. And if they did that they wouldn’t mention anything it. Everyone had broke their fast earlier on in the day as you had slept longer than usual. You weren’t use to having such lengthy nights of rest but were more than grateful.

After dressing you walked the halls with Arya for a bit before making your way to the courtyard where everyone seemed to have gathered for something, it wasn’t long before Sansa pulled you in front of all the people where the reason for the spectacle (rather reasons) came into view.

Robb was laughing loudly before Jon attacked, blade in hand. Robb swiftly moved to the side away from Jon and used his blade to propel Jon forwards again. As Jon fell Robb raised his sword to his neck.

“And you’re dead.”

Jon laughed, “Perhaps you should become a knight brother.”

They’re laughter stopped as you stepped out, fully dressed in your old clothes and determined. “I take it you’re planning on leaving now?” You smiled and nodded, “I appreciate your hospitality Robb, Jon. But if I do have surviving family than I must go to them. Thank you, truly.” You spoke as you walked past them, as much as you wished to stay longer you knew you’re descendants needed your help.

So as you mounted your Nyraxes, you couldn’t help but look back at him.

Maybe, you’d see him again.

[rinhaler]

It'll Probably End With Me Being Forgot

CHAPTER SUMMARY : you never thought you and yuuji were the type to keep secrets from each other, but he doesn't need to know megumi kissed you. maybe he already knows... why else would he be acting so weirdly?

boyfriend!yuuji itadori x f!reader x bully!megumi fushiguro

WARNINGS : 18+, consensual sex, vaginal sex, creampie, cum eating??, face sitting, praise kink, drug taking, bullying.

WORDS : 6.6k

notes : am I actually posting wusyaname on a friday?? wild

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“Nervous for tomorrow?”

Yuuji whispers as he lies flat on his stomach with his arm over yours. Nervous is a good word, a very apt word for how you should feel.

It’s Monday tomorrow.

Your alarm will be ringing in a few hours for you.

It’ll be your first day back at university since you were spiked. It’ll be the first time you go to your class and see the girls who publicly humiliated you. And it will be the first time you are in the classroom with Megumi again since you destroyed each other’s sketch books.

Nervous would be a good way to describe what you should be feeling.

But, honestly, after this weekend and seeing how little Toji needed to do to send the fear of God into his son, you didn’t feel nervous.

Megumi is a paper man, and his father had no hesitation to piss on his parade, making him a small pathetic pile of mush. You aren’t nervous, not one bit. You're confused however, and you're wracked with guilt.

Because you've decided not to tell Yuuji about the kiss.

So much has happened, so much has changed in so little time. It wasn’t so long ago that you could barely pry Yuuji away from your soft folds as he devoured your intimate flesh. He couldn’t get enough of you.

And you were always close to being late for class.

Today, however, you wake up and he does nothing but press a gentle kiss into your shoulder and instantly goes to get shower and dress for class.

Is he losing interest in you?

It's a ridiculous thought you shake away immediately.

He’s probably just… No.

What is wrong with him?

Or maybe it’s you. Something is wrong with you.

There's no use dwelling on it now, not when class is right around the corner. It’s best if you just focus on getting dressed and talk it out with him later.

You decide to swap out your usual paint covered leggings and baggy t-shirt for a nice pair of figure-hugging jeans and a scanty crop top. If that doesn’t remind him how much he loves being intimate with you; you don’t know if anything will. You finish painting your face with light makeup as Yuuji re-enters the bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist.

Not even a glance in your direction.

It’s only been a day since you had the best, most intimate sex of your life. And now he isn’t even registering your existence. Your lip wobbles as you try and hold it together. It’s dawning on you what’s going on.

This is Megumi’s fault.

He’s got inside of your fucking head and he’s messing and warping with your sense of self and your worth.

Why did he fucking kiss you?

Yuuji knows.

He must know for him to be so distant with you. No, he doesn’t, you argue with yourself. You breathe through pouting lips and try to bat away the tears forming in your lash line.

You startle a little when you feel Yuuji’s hand cup your shoulder. You turn to face him, seeing that he's already dressed. That’s why he didn’t look at you. He was getting ready for class! He isn’t ignoring you.

Of course he doesn’t know about Megumi kissing you, how could he?

The hand on your shoulder travels upwards to cup your face. His lips find yours and every insecurity you’ve ever felt in your life dissipates. He pulls away, resting his forehead on yours, the tips of your noses touching gently together.

He's searching your eyes.

“You look amazing princess,” he states. Your eyes shut softly and a tear finally breaks free and rolls down your cheek. He quickly swipes it away with his thumb, he even warns you that you’ll ruin your makeup if you don’t cut it out. “you don’t have to do this today y’know? A lot happened to you, take another day… hell take another week if you need to.” he assures you.

God he’s so fucking sweet you think you might get tooth decay if he says anything else to you. He kisses your lips again, and then your forehead before crouching down and resting on the balls of his feet. He holds your hands, delicately rubbing his thumbs over your soft skin as he waits for you to speak.

“I want to,” you tell him honestly, “but I think the longer I leave it the harder it’ll be.” you confess. He nods. He brings your hands to his lips and kisses softly.

“Let’s get you to class then. I wanna show off my pretty girl.”

His fingers interlace with yours. It’s weird that you aren’t running through the halls together. You’re early, only by a few minutes, but still. You’re strolling through the building with not a single care in the world.

You lean back against the wall outside of your classroom, the usual spot where you’ve lost count of how many times he’s kissed you too intimately for public viewing. This time, he does kiss you, but it’s soft and gentle.

He has so much fear in his eyes. He’s terrified about leaving you here. With those vile fucking girls and that piece of shit he thought was his friend. You smile, though.

It’ll all be okay.

Yuuji scowls as he hears giggling. Your blood runs cold. The girls snicker as they see you and walk into the classroom. He wishes he could get them expelled or something. Anything to keep them away from you.

He notices the time on his watch, it’s creeping dangerously close to 9am. Regardless of how early you got here, Yuuji is still going to be rushing to his class. He engulfs you in a hug and you smile warmly.

“Text me if you need anything. Okay baby? Anything.”

You start to speak but you both notice a familiar silhouette out of the corner of your eyes. Megumi. You knew you’d see him again sooner or later, but his presence is all consuming and downright miserable.

Yuuji frowns, but nothing more. He knows Fushiguro isn’t so imbecilic to try anything in front of him. You hold Yuuji’s face and turn him to face you. His loving brown eyes stare into yours. Every crease and every pore of your beautiful face. He can tell from one minor change if you’re okay. So he’s examining hard.

“I’ll text you Yuuji, promise.”

He kisses you one last time and stands in the doorway as he watches you find somewhere to sit.

Megumi and the girls are sitting near the back, so he smiles when he sees you take a seat in the front row closest to the door. You smile back when you see him mouth ‘I love you’ to you. You do the same, and finally he runs down the hallway to his own class.

It's a pretty painless class all in all, you were definitely expecting worse. You hear the girls talking in an insanely high pitch as they attempt to flirt with Megumi.

But of course, he's his usual stoic self. You do your best to avoid turning to look at them. However, when you hear them snicker and say things like ‘she pissed herself in the club’ you want a hole to form under your seat and suck you into nothingness. Your eyes bulge when you hear something you hadn’t expected.

“Shut. Up.” Megumi speaks in annoyance. You know he isn’t defending you, he hates you after all. But it still makes you smile to hear the girls try and defend themselves.

“I thought you hated her Megumi!” the redhead whines.

“I thought I told you to shut up.”

Regardless of your three bullies making unnecessary comments in the back, there are three students around you that offer their support, telling you that they heard what happened and that they hope you’re okay.

It's nice knowing that you had other people around you and not just your boyfriend. Your classmates didn’t know the full extent to your ordeal, of course, but it was still appreciated.

You're surprised when you see Megumi begin to pack away early. Apparently, he has a dentist appointment. He ignores you as he walks by. He gives you nothing but the gust of wind that breezes by from his stride.

While everyone is getting on with their work for the last thirty minutes of class, your teacher approaches you to discuss your sketchbook.

If nothing else, you know the trauma of being spiked in the club would provide a perfect sob story to get you more time on your work.

You still hadn’t pinned the blame Megumi for ruining your sketchbook. What would be the point? He’d only retaliate that you did the same to his.

You took full responsibility for the ink incident, but with the help of your drugging ordeal, he offers you a hefty extension on your work, thank God. He spends the remainder of his lesson talking with you and giving you tips on how to create a new body of artwork.

“Megumi actually started again from scratch, for some reason, and he’s managed to get a lot done in a short period of time.” he tells you.

You nod along as if you don’t have a clue as to why Megumi would start again. You actually do feel a little bad that you ruined all of his hard work.

You were just as bad as him in that aspect.

He clearly puts a lot of time and effort into his drawings, but you ruined them all in an instant. But you only feel a little bad, since he did exactly the same to you.

But is it fair to be so petty?

“Perhaps you could ask him for some advice.” your lecturer suggests.

Your lips pull into a straight line. You have to think of something civil to say that won’t expose your burning hatred of the black-haired menace.

“I’ll think about it.”

Logically, you know that nothing bad will happen to you; but you begin packing away early so you can immediately sprint out of the room.

Without Megumi holding the girls back, you're worried that they might try and do something to you. You stick to your word and leave the room as quickly as your legs will take you.

Yuuji will be finishing his classes soon, too. You consider going to the sports hall to meet him, but you know he’ll be showering again and changing before coming to meet you. You head towards the exit, deciding it's smarter to wait by his car instead.

As you're rushing, you collide with another student. Thankfully neither of you drop anything like a classic cliché, however it is a cliché that the student you ram into happens to be Megumi.

Isn’t he meant to be at the dentist?

Before you can get away, he covers your mouth with his palm and pulls you into the boys toilets. He locks you both in a cubicle and he remains straight faced as you began to cry.

“Shut up, stop screaming, I’m not gonna do anything.” he tells you. Your chest is heaving, but you nod. He seems sincere, but it’s hard to tell with him. He uncovers your mouth. Your eyes squint as you examined his nose.

He looks like he wants to kill you when you began to smirk.

“Too much sugar on your donuts, Megumi.” you speak as you wiped a finger over your own nose. His eyes bulge as he understands what you mean in an instant, quickly swiping the back of his sleeve over his nose to clear away the coke he’d snorted. “What do you want from me?” you wonder.

“Yuuji seemed unusually calm when he saw me today.” he begins. You raise your eyebrows, prompting him to continue. “I can only assume that you didn’t tell him that we kissed.”

Your heart stops as he speaks. You raise a finger to your lips and repeatedly tell him to be quiet. Anyone could be in here listening to you talk. “First of all, you kissed. I slapped you away.” you whisper-shout. “I should tell him, really, I have no reason to protect you. Especially after this.” you threaten, he does nothing but roll his eyes at your idle threat.

“Unless you liked it,” you want to argue his point, but he interjects immediately. “I was high so don’t flatter yourself.”

“You’re high now, do I need to worry? Have you got more misery in store for me? Or are you going to do as your daddy tells you and leave me the fuck alone?” you question.

He leans back against the wall on the cubicle you’re squashed in together and he observes you. He thinks it must be nice to have as much power as you do, knowing your enemies weak spot.

His will always be Toji.

“I’m actually done with you,” he explains. You’re sceptical, it seems too good to be true. “I found out something very exciting at your parents house. Do you want to know?”

“I don’t care, honestly.”

“I wasn’t going to tell you anyway. It’s more fun for me that way, but just know you’re fucked… and it has nothing to do with me.” he explains as he opens the door. You push him backwards so that you can leave first. You look at him in the mirrors above the sinks before walking out.

“Goodbye, Megumi.”

You’re loitering around parking lot waiting for Yuuji. You recognise a car that pulls up, and you smile when you see a familiar face.

It’s Toji.

He beams when he sees you. You walk over to him and give him those polite rich people kisses on each cheek. You smile again when you notice another person step out of the car.

This car isn’t Toji’s; it’s hers. She introduces herself as Tsumiki, Megumi’s sister.

“Nice to meet you.” you tell her.

“Did the brat give you any trouble? We came to pick him up, wanted to keep an eye on him.”

You lie, shaking your head. You’re sure he’ll manage to shake the information out of his son if he really wants to. He examines the space around him, waiting to see when his son will turn up. You can tell he’s apprehensive. He’s never been a hands-on father before. It’s all new territory for him.

He notices you examining Tsumiki. He knows exactly what you want to ask, but you're too scared. You don’t want to sound offensive or rude.

“She’s not mine princess, my ex-wife’s kid.” Toji fills you in.

“Dad she didn’t ask,” Tsumiki huffs. “Sorry about him.”

“Don’t apologise for me she wanted to know; look you can tell by her face. Right?” he gestures you, he's looking at you over his sunglasses with raised eyebrows, so you nod.

It isn’t lost on you that she doesn’t have the same jet-black hair as the Fushiguro’s. But genetics works like that sometimes, however in this instance your instincts are correct.

Eventually Toji’s spawn arrives; looking meek and submissive under his father’s intense glare. Toji questions why he looks so guilty, but Megumi doesn’t say a word.

Tsumiki is clueless. She knows about a girl who got spiked after the police came to question Megumi, but she has no idea that girl is standing before her very eyes, and it was his fault after all.

Toji has no intention of telling her.

“You’re really sticking around then, huh Toji?” you ask with a cheeky smirk on your face. Megumi scowls, he was furious that you were daring to have banter with his fucking dad. He still hates you, but he knows he needs to be smart around you now. Only because his prick of a father is staying for the time being.

“Yeah, I am.” he replies. “Maybe I’m expected to be a decent father and learn from my mistakes, yeah?”

There's something about Toji that makes you feel safe. He's like your guardian angel. You feel untouchable with him nearby. And Megumi fucking hates that.

Those few hours you spent with him in your father’s study are the closest you’ve felt to having a real parental figure in your whole life.

The family all move to get into Tsumiki’s car. But before they can leave, they're all drawn to the yelling, sprinting, pink-haired boy approaching you. He wraps his arms around your neck and smothers your lips in passionate kisses.

“Hello to you too, Yuuji.” you giggle.

“We need to go home, I need you home, now.” he explains. Tsumiki coos over the cute display. Toji snickers, while Megumi is seething. Yuuji says quick hello's to Toji and Tsumiki while point-blank ignoring his ex-best friend.

“Someone’s keen,” Toji chuckles, “Wrap it up kid. Don’t wanna end up with one of him, do ya?” Toji speaks gesturing his thumb to the side, pointing directly at Megumi.

Your face flushes with heat, at that.

He’s so forward and he doesn’t care. Tsumiki smacks his arm lightly as she gets inside of her vehicle and starts it up. You and your boyfriend step closer to your own car, but before you can leave Megumi moves towards you.

“So fucking cute.” Megumi starts. “Such a shame that you're keeping secrets, right?” he torments. Yuuji continues walking to the car door so he can take you home.

“No one is listening to you Fushiguro.” Yuuji tells him as he snaps open the door. He's about to duck inside, but Megumi has one last thing to say.

You're panicking. Is he really going to tell him?

Is he really about to spill, right fucking now, that you shared a kiss?

“Get in the fucking car ya little bastard.” Toji hisses as he grabs under his sons arm and tries to pull him away. Megumi snatches it back and gets closer to you. But he keeps his body positioned so that it's facing Itadori.

“I walked past the sports hall earlier, Yuuji, very interesting presentation I saw through the window.” Megumi smiles evilly. Yuuji slammed the door and gets closer to your bully.

“Shut the hell up,”

“Agreed, shut your fucking mouth.” Toji speaks as he slaps Megumi upside the head. “You deaf kid? I said: get in the fucking car.” he finishes, finally dragging his son around and shoving him into the backseat. “Can’t fucking help yourself, can you? Stop interfering in that girl’s life.” you hear him in the distance before slamming the door and sealing Megumi inside.

Whatever doubts you had about Yuuji this morning are quickly dashed. He buries them in a coffin and forces the nails in as he practically rips your clothes off your body.

He can’t keep his hands off you.

His gentle fingers caress each and every inch of your body while his lips do the same with soft, peppered kisses.

The days of him thinking you're made of glass seem like a distant memory as he fucks you. The slow, deep, lazy sex you had at your parent’s house is long forgotten.

He's like an animal, really giving it his all as he fucks you from behind. You're screaming and crying into the pillows. He doesn’t fail to tell you how much he loves you, either.

But you already knew that.

You convulse around him, and he empties himself inside of you. It's deep and creamy, and he's enamoured by the equally thick and creamy ring forming around the base of his cock as he kept drilling into you.

And it doesn’t end there.

He doesn’t care that your cunt is stuffed full of his seed. Yuuji pulls you around like a ragdoll as he lies flat against the bed.

His face is your throne.

And you're royalty in his eyes.

“Please princess, please. Need you to sit f’me, okay?” he looks up at you with pleading eyes. Something Yuuji Itadori has never been shy about since the day you met him is his love for eating pussy. In these few months you’ve been dating, you’ve never been let to forget that.

He praises what tasty slick you have, the best he’s ever consumed. So, to have you deny him of his fountain of youth, from his taste of heaven, has been unbearable.

“Need it s’bad baby. Please. Pleaaaase let me taste you.”

Who are you to deny him?

His arms lock around your thighs. You hold one hand against the wall to stabilize yourself and your other laces through his pastel pink locks. You bite your bottom lip as he sucks at your sensitive bead.

He's so needy and desperate; you can tell he hadn’t gotten to enjoy licking at your folds for a few days. It makes you shudder when you feel him suck his cum out of your hole and spit it back in.

“Oh God…” you sigh. Your heart rate soars. You aren’t going to last much longer. But that's a good thing for Yuuji. That’s exactly what he wants. “Yuuji—!” you cry.

His palms slap onto your ass and he pulls your heat closer to his face. He really wants you to sit. He squeezes your flesh tightly, it's a signal for you to cum. He doesn’t dare pull away and risk wasting a second of consuming your flavour as you straddled his head.

You can hear him though.

He’d be saying something like ‘go ahead and cum, princess’ so you do. You hum and groan through the pleasure of his tongue laving and sucking your clit and he loves the way your legs tremble.

You climb off of him and he sits upright. He locks a hand around the back of your head and pulls you in for a crashing intimate kiss. You think he might want to go for another round for a minute, but it slows. He kisses your cheek before turning you around and pulling you to lie down with him. Yuuji plays with your hair and your eyelids feel heavier.

“What was that all about, Yuuji? Not that I’m complaining.”

He wraps his arms around you and kisses into the crown of your head. “Does there need to be a reason? I just love you baby.” he reminds you, kissing you again.

“I love you too.” you smile. But you can’t relax, because something is playing on your mind. It had been playing on your mind the whole car ride home, but you didn’t want to mention it. It was even in the back of your brain while he fucked you into oblivion. “What was Megumi talking about before? The sports hall presentation?” you query.

You feel Yuuji’s body tense up against you.

Maybe you should have kept it to yourself.

“What? Are we listening to Fushiguro now?” he asks, anger clear in his tone.

“No! It’s just—”

He rises to his feet, quickly pulling his clothes back on and heading towards the bedroom door to leave.

Hopefully he’ll tell you in his own time.

His stare is kinder as you approach him later. He welcomes you to join him on the sofa with open arms. So, you hop quickly towards him and sit in his lap. You nestle into his chest as he strokes your body sensually with his thumbs.

“Hey,” he whispers hoping to get your attention without startling you. Your eyes find his, those beautiful hazel hues, and you feel as safe as can be. He looks… sad. His eyes are glossy, and he kisses your forehead forcefully. “What we did today princess, I need to do that every day.” he tells you.

“What do you��?”

“Please, please don’t make me explain. I love you, you get that, right? So please, I need to be with you like that every day.” he tells you. He's literally begging you. Begging for your body every single day. That isn’t something you could promise.

What has gotten into him?

“Yuuji I just don’t—”

“Baby!” he yells. He feels you jump in his arms and pulls you closer into his body again, shushing and cooing.

He’s sorry, he is, he’s really sorry.

He doesn’t know what’s gotten over him, he never ever yells at you.

You don’t understand and he can’t explain just yet.

“You know I’d never make you do anything you don’t wanna, right baby? Just this one thing, I need you to do this for me.” he tells you. His two hands hold your whole face and he looks at you with those pleading eyes. You don’t know what’s going on, but you can’t refuse him when he’s looking at you like that.

“Okay.”

You do as he asks, every single day.

It’s only Friday, but you wonder how much longer this is going to go on before he gives you the explanation you're patiently waiting for.

But it didn’t come.

He had the perfect opportunity to tell you when you went out for your usual Friday lunch into town, but he chose not to. Instead telling you about his classes.

You kiss him goodbye as you head towards the art building.

Would Fushiguro be so stupid as to think he’s still entitled to share your cubicle space with you?

Yes.

He doesn’t look at you though, maybe he’ll leave you alone today. Although that seems painfully optimistic.

He almost ignores you as you come in and find your seat. But he can’t completely, how could he when you looked like that? You’re always so glamorous and well put together, usually. But today, you’re in sweats with no makeup.

You’d be embarrassed to tell anyone the reason; but the truth is you were so fucked out from Yuuji going to town on you every single night with no reprieve.

“Not looking so high and mighty today, princess.” Megumi mutters. “In fact, you look depressed.” he adds.

“God. My fucking God. Seriously. Christ. Shut the fuck up.” you moan. Maybe the sentence was a little extreme. But with Yuuji keeping secrets and Megumi getting his digs in, you couldn't take it. “Did you... never mind—” you decided to keep schtum.

You wonder for a brief second if the reason Yuuji was so desperate to be intimate with you was because he knew about the kiss. But if he did, you’re sure Megumi would be in a hospital bed rather than in your personal space.

“No, I didn’t. Stop fucking talking about it. It didn’t mean anything so shut your fucking mouth.” Megumi hisses through gritted teeth. “Neither of us want anyone finding out, seems like one thing we agree on, so stop bringing it up.” Megumi finishes.

You nod in agreement. If anyone finds out, you'll be mortified. Although you didn’t do anything wrong – it would seem so much worse than it is since you didn’t immediately confess the truth to Yuuji. Although, he seems to have a dirty secret of his own.

“Interesting that you decided to keep it to yourself, though. Why?” Megumi contradicts himself as he presses for more information. You lean over to him, hissing back at him just as he had to you.

“Don’t you think you’ve blown into my life like a hurricane and fucked up enough?”

You sit back upright as your lecturer approaches your cubicle. He commends how well the two of you are getting along, going as far as to compliment you for taking Megumi under your wing.

You cringe with embarrassment as he mentions the fact you’d discussed him helping you build your sketchbook back up to full health. Megumi smirks at that. Your lecturer leaves you be, and your eyes weld shut as you feel Megumi turn to you with a wicked grin.

“What do you say, princess? Gonna let me help you out?”

“I’d rather die, actually.”

“That can be arranged.”

You scoff, deciding it would be best to focus on your work once again. You need all of the help you can get in restoring it to its former glory.

Your blood freezes over as you feel Megumi’s seat scrape across the floor. He has no reason to get up other than to go to the bathroom or to taunt you.

He brings all of his own equipment and he doesn’t use paint so he had no use for going to the sinks to get water to clean paintbrushes. You jolt as you feel one of his hands rest on your shoulder and the other on your thigh. He lets his head settle carefully on your other shoulder.

He's examining your sketchbook.

“What do you think you’re doing?” you ask him.

“You’ve done more work than I expected in such a short time, especially after your… unfortunate drinking incident.” he hums, the vibrations go through your ear and make you shudder. He smirks at that. “I think you can do better than this.”

“Okay.” you huff. “Now, tell me what you really want.” you utter, it's like he's undeserving of the effort of your breath. Complete derision drips from your tongue.

He turns his head so his mouth is level with your ear; he wants each and every word he speaks to cut deep.

“I was just wondering if Yuuji has told you about the sports hall presentation I stumbled across yet.” he whispers. The soft lilt in his tone tumbles straight into your ear canal. You want to turn and face him, but when your head moves a little you consider that his lips might find yours again.

“Why don’t you tell me Megumi?”

He tuts, and tuts, and tuts some more. “Oh… I couldn’t do that.” he expresses. “You heard my old man tell me not to interfere, right? I’m sure Mister Perfect will tell you when he’s good and ready.”

He's being sarcastic and patronising. But still, he's right. You’re sure he’ll tell you…

All in good time…

You gather your things and leave class. It actually doesn’t irritate you that Megumi is walking by your side.

He’s quite tolerable when he’s quiet.

You're a little confused when you arrive at the car park. Yuuji’s car is nowhere to be seen. Toji’s is, though. He steps out to say hello to you again.

“Somethin’ wrong sweetheart?” he wonders.

“Yuuji’s car isn’t here, I don’t—”

“Get in, I’ll take you home.” he says as he opens a door for you to hop in. You nod in agreement. But you think you better text Yuuji in case he comes back to find you.

Having Toji around is really coming in handy for you.

And maybe, just maybe, it’ll help Megumi work through his issues too.

The car ride is awkward as Megumi refuses to speak. Toji makes him sit in the back, like a little kid.

His dad doesn’t care that he's pouting, though. He's being sweet and talkative, asking you about your day and your classes. He picks up on your appearance too, but he isn’t rude about it. He simply asks if everything is okay, and you nod.

You think so, at least.

He waves goodbye through the window as you get out of the car. You're staring at your front door as Megumi gets out and sits in the front. They drive away, and you're still staring.

Why were you so nervous?

Your stomach sinks as you enter the bedroom you share with your boyfriend. He halts all movements and he looks like a deer in headlights.

He's… packing.

Why the fuck is he packing?

“You’re leaving me—?” you ask him.

“No! Baby, I didn’t want you to find out like this that’s why I came home early.” he tells you as he comes closer to you, but you back away, and it made his heart ache. You’ve never avoided his touches before, you’ve never evaded his desire to love you. “Please let me just—”

“You are. Oh my God! You’re fucking leaving me!” you cry. He's rambling about how badly you need to listen to him, to hear him out. But you can’t. “It's really something that I should have trusted Fushiguro over you.” you spit. You immediately regret saying it, but it's too late to take it back now.

“What the fuck did you just say?”

“Don’t dare try and take the moral fucking high ground when you’re packing your bags to run out on me.” you clap back. He runs his fingers through his hair and sits with his head in his hands on the side of the bed. “You know what?” you ask as you drop to your knees. “I’ll help you pack.” you lie, zipping up his suitcase and picking it up to throw down the stairs.

“Stop it! Put it down!” Yuuji shouts. He wraps his arms around your body so you could do nothing but wriggle and writhe against him.

“Let me go! I hate you! I fucking hate you, Yuuji!” you bawl as you do all you can to get free. Tears stream down your face as you lie to him. You just want to hurt him like he's hurting you.

But it's not just hurting him.

It's killing him to hear you say something so vile.

He knows you don’t mean it, but it's still the worst pain he’s ever felt.

He manages to pull you down onto the bed and subdue you. His eyes water as you burst into loud, unforgiving tears and cover your face. He’s gone about things in the worst possible way. He should have known it would turn out like this, but he really thought he was doing the right thing.

“Baby.” he whispers.

You uncover your face and he was hovers above you. You stop crying for a moment, and he hates how bright and shiny your face was with glittering tears.

It’s his fault.

And yet, for some reason your heart is racing. His face lowers and your hands clasp around the back of his head. Your swollen puffy lips found his in a deep, bruising kiss. You feel all of the air in your lungs escape. You couldn’t get enough of him. How could you say you hate him when you there is so much tension between you to kiss him like this?

But you remember his suitcase and push him away. You swipe the back of your hand over your lips and gather your breath.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, why did you kiss me? Stay the fuck away from me Yuuji.” you pant, your tears breaking free again.

“BABE! Please! You’re so fucking stubborn will you let me talk?” he yellS. “I’m not fucking leaving you, I promise. Not like you think, I need you to let me explain.” he states. You're receptive, but still terrified.

“Not like I think?”

He opens his arms, inviting you inside. You're hesitant, but allow it. He lets out a little chuckle and shakes his head when you ask him if he’s met another girl.

You are and will always be the only girl for him.

He pulls you both down, so you're lying on your sides with your heads on the soft pillows. Your eyes focus on his as you allow him to speak.

“The presentation Fushiguro was talking about, it was about a trip. And it’s mandatory.” he tells you.

This is the best possible outcome.

He isn’t leaving you and he hasn’t met someone else.

Did he really think you were going to go crazy over a weekend trip?

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want us both to be upset about me leaving. I just wanted to love you as much as I could and have as much sex as possible before I had to go.” he sniffles.

That’s not the type of thing you say when you’re only leaving for a weekend. Your lip wobbles and your eyes filled again.

This is killing him.

He doesn’t want to fucking go. He doesn’t.

“How long will you be gone?” you weep. His eyes close as he tries to hold back his own tears. He isn’t ignoring you, but he knows as soon as he answers it's real. “How long Yuuji.” you whimper.

He breathes. Tears leave his eyes silently, but he quickly wipes them away. “Three months.” he answers, his voice cracked and broken. You break down into tears again and he hugs you closer to him. How are you going to live without him for three whole months? “I’m so- I’m so s-sorry.” he mutters, trying to control his breaking voice.

“Where will you— How far are you g-going?”

“It’s um, a tour of Europe.”

You feel your heart tear and tear with each sentence he speaks.

You’ll be alone in the house with no one to come home to and cuddle each day and night. No one to talk about your day with or tell you about their own. You’ve had relationships end and felt less pain than this.

He's quite literally your other half. The only person who could possibly complete the puzzle of your heart and you're losing that for three months.

“Please just uh- I need you to,” he stumbles over his words. Unable to process what he was actually about to ask, to speak. “Please tell me you don’t really hate me. You don’t, do you? I love you, I love you. Please, I need you to tell me you don’t really hate me…” he speaks with minimal voice breakage.

Tears roll out of his eyes but he manages to keep strong. You, however, are a mess. How could you say something so abhorrent to the man you love, the person you loved more than anything in the world? You wrap your body around him. Crying into him heavily and kiss him all over.

“I love you Yuuji, I’m so so sorry.” you blubber. “I could never hate you. I’m sorry, Yuuji I’m so fucking sorry. I love you; I do. I really fucking love you.”

You're sick. You don’t want to eat, to go to the bathroom, to sleep. You don’t want to waste a single second of time with him.

“I have to leave on Sunday.” he speaks into your hair, almost silencing his voice. After tonight you have one day together. One day before he leaves you for three months.

“I feel like I’m dying.” you confess. He kisses your neck before speaking again.

“I know. Me too.”

© 2021 fuwushiguro | © 2024 rinhaler

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

a good omens grieving update because if I'm crying at 5 am you better be too.

Good morning, maggoty loves of mine. Despite all attempts to distract myself and you all with wedding cakes and dresses and textposts, it is five in the fucking morning, and I've been crying for half an hour already.

I'm listening to the Pentatonix cover of Hallelujah on loop and I will never be normal about anything ever again and there is nothing you, I, God, Satan or even Neil can do about it.

@mirrorleaf was kind enough to hijack my stupid royal family post with this fucking gorgeous edit of season 1 set to Hallelujah. Thank you, I'm now fucking sobbing and I found another edit again of season 1 and then I read fics and now I'm NOT FUCKING OKAY.

All the times Aziraphale looks up to Heaven and prays, how hopeful and desperate he is, and then the way he looks at Crowley while he's pinned against the wall, entirely calm and sure and safe.

And the song playing with Love is not a victory march, it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah over Crowley crying over alcohol when he thought Aziraphale had died. I'm not okay.

I need to watch season 1 again. When I watched it first, it was in two installments with you maggots on livestream, and the first installment was like two days after I was kidnapped as Mascot of Good Omens. Needless to say, it was all a fever dream.

Then I watched this edit now and there's so much. There's so much fucking layers and emotion and nuance that I didn't notice. And it's absolutely going to wreck me and then I'll have to rewatch season 2 and by then I'll have no self-preservation and I'll have read the book and I'll never ever be okay again and I'll have to live with it.

You all really just found a guy on the internet and fucking wrecked him, huh. This fandom really just did that. Now salt and pepper shakers made me think about Crowley's Fall and the inherent transience of human nature and The angel you knew is not me.

It hurts. I thought I was ridiculous about Drarry. No I was entirely fucking reasonable about Drarry. This is a gut punch except to the throat. Repeatedly.

I remember when I made a post a day or two after finishing season 2 and someone, @thescholarlystrumpet it was probably you, told me that grief isn't a linear process and to take care. To anyone outside this broken fandom, that would seem like a disproportional response to a show's season 2 finale when we know that it will end happily. Everyone in this fandom knows how much that reminder is needed, though.

Besides, though we know that the show ends happily, we know that Aziraphale and Crowley will be together and it is inevitable, how does it still fucking hurt so much? I knew all the spoilers, technically, of the show before I started, and it still surprised me with the emotions.

I had to stop writing this post for a few minutes because an image came to my mind and I had to sketch it. Of how I'd felt when I came here, lonely and frightened, and how the fandom grabbed me and forced me to watch the show and how much it hurts and how beautiful it is and how it feels like a mirror. A shattered mirror, one that's soaked with all our blood and tears, but it showed me I wasn't alone. So here, have this brief sketch and do NOT come at with about pretentiousness my beloved maggots because for one, I have always aspired to be pretentious and for another, THE SUN HASN'T FUCKING RISEN AND I'VE BEEN IN TEARS WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

Congratulations, the next time anyone asks you if you've ever killed anyone, every one of you can confidently say that yes, you are indeed directly responsible for murder. My blood is on your hands, motherfuckers, you adopted a Mascot and then killed him.

[aluria-sevhex]

THE KING FUCKING ONE-SHOT ME

notes:

-why am i being so anxious lol. if i die i can loop again it's fine

-i love this game's music

-wtf is the stuff all over the place and the gate

-i love how when Sif forgets terms for stuff like the kiln the others will remind him

-a mirror...

-"everyone say fromage!" F R O N C H

-Siffrin has a lot of pocket space

-aw, Odile's eyes light up when she's learning things

-woah this Sadness is just giant hands

-I FOUND MIRA'S ROOM

-ooo Mirabelle likes horror

-the barrels. are EVERYWHERE

-discussion of crafting your body has led to the wonderful sentence "High heels hurt my feetsies..." thanks Isabeau

-woah Sif's cloak is magic

-Isabeau's so considerate of the fact that Sif doesn't like being touched :]

-ok where the fuck is Siffrin from and how did they get the cloak

-FUCK. LOOP KNOWLEDGE BLUNDER

--aw that's kinda cute how Odile will ask questions about stuff she already knows to get the emotional component

-huh. this gate has weird writing that they can't read. and the gate looks like... stars... hmmmmmmmm

-CREST TIME

-i picked the wrong way :( WELP TIME TO EXPLORE THIS ROOM

-ah yes the "handsome young men falling into beautiful heartbreaking madness" horror anthology

-THE SCHADENFREUDE!!!!!!!!!

-openphrase123

lol

-aight i'm looping now

-um. Loop. what would happen if you saw the others

-what's up with that book Bonnie was reading...

-WAIT FUCK I MEANT TO CHECK THE LOCKED HOUSES I'M GONNA HAVE TO LOOP AGAIN

-the world would be inside of the universe...

-yeah i can't be assed to search the entire House for the book rn that's like 2 floors i've cleared. i'm looping forward.

-the little nodding Siffrin when he zones out is cute

-woah. observatory...

-hmmmm Mira can't remember who studied in the observatory. maybe this is tied to Loop? or the starry gate? or the disappearing island?

-trying to read the books gives you a headache

-istg this is some Gaster shit

-COLOR? WAIT THE WORLD IS MONOCHROME. HOW IS THERE A BOOK ON COLOR THEORY

-Siffrin where the fuck are you from

-welp. looping time

-lol the crying key is in the super duper cool notebook

WAIT THAT'S A MEAN THING TO DO. THE GAME IS BEING MEAN LMAO

-loop-de-doop-de-doop

-might as well go do some things in Dormont if i'm looping anyway

-ok time to loop forward to floor 2

-uh-oh. Sif is having a crisis over not being good at their job. :(

-looping forwards. round and round and round we go...

-"if you hadn't picked up the key wouldn't we be stuck?"

Live Siffrin reaction: (Yes.)

-lol bathroom break. fictional characters NEVER go to the bathroom

-Sif whaddya need to do alone?

-lol

-Sif is SO glad to have the loops

-:0 intact Change God statue

-KEYKNIFE

-what the- they got teleported! this is sus...

-feel like the bit where Sif laments the loss of the keyknife and thinks they could've found another use for it might be foreshadowing...

-FUCK FUCK FUCK MIRA IS KO

-fml Odile is the only one left standing

-first game over damn

-jesus fucking christ this is a bleak game over screen

-is he gonna finish himself off

-fuck that's bleak

-ok he finished the Sadness off

-WAIT DO I HAVE TO GO THRU FLOOR 3 *AGAIN*??? THIS IS BULLSHIT

-grinding for exp

-had to go to dinner. back

-it's nice when Bonnie gets to deal the final blow :]

-time to try again!

-I DID IT :D

-uh-oh. Mira is freaking out at the sight of another frozen person :(

-oh her roommate :(

-Mirabelle you're not useless :(

-HOLD UP. THE *HEAD HOUSEMAIDEN* GAVE MIRABELLE THE ABILITY TO NOT GET FROZEN?

-hehe Odile is hungry. SNACK TIME... maybe *i* should eat more.

-love how crab is used like a swear word

-Siffrin's like "i"m fine!" and i'm like "ARE you?"

-hey King why do you have stars on your gauntlets

-THE KING JUST REFERENCED SIF SPECIFICALLY?

-...what does he need to remember...

-Siffrin is sus

-DID HE JUST FUCKING 1-HIT US?

-this is one hell of a game over

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

sharing my blurb for SLUT ME OUT 3 here (although i recommend reading all of them, everyone across the spectrum of haters and champions brought their A-game for this, as is only right and proper), both because this was the most fun i had blurbing all year and because i need to share the greatness of SLUT ME OUT 3, the most fun two and a half minutes in music i've heard this year, with as many people as humanly possible; do yourself a favor and click play, but, like, maybe not in public (this song is disgusting and i am obsessed)

Nothing about such an aggressively single-minded ode to fucking as many bitches as physically possible should work, and yet I listen to “Slut Me Out 3” and am filled only with radiant joy. The song is is so hyperbolic, so extreme, so wildly filthy and yet weirdly unhorny that it’s impossible to take at face value as an expression of actual human behavior or desire; it reminds me less of other songs about fucking and more of that sketch where Vanessa Bayer can’t nail the tone on a cutely self-deprecating Instagram caption. Every single detail is miraculously deranged: the most genuinely disgusting scatological image I’ve encountered this year or possibly this decade, all the more jarring because it comes right on the heels of an incongruously sweet bit of mama’s boy pride; the concept of an endorsement with Plan B, as if the manufacturers of emergency contraception are a cereal brand signing a deal with the gold medalist of the Sex Olympics; the fact that she wants him to have her baby; “marinated pussy.” Take the proclamation “fuck her til my dick bleedin’”: for a half second it sounds normal, just a guy bragging about his stamina in the sack, and then your brain processes the actual line and you think, wait, what? Is that… good? Is it supposed to be hot? Is it even possible? Should he be seeking medical attention? Lines like that break reality, rendering the universe of the song cartoonish and bizarre. NLE comes across as some kind of pornographic comic book mutant, a superhero whose gift, burden, purpose, and promise is to fuck every woman alive. His dick is not just huge, it’s inconveniently large; his touch is so hot it can literally be fatal. When he excuses himself after finishing the job with two freak hoes to depart for an orgy at “pussy villa” (a pussy villa? the pussy villa? is Pussy Villa a proper noun?), his attitude is that of Batman, depositing the Scarecrow at the precinct before turning right back around to resume his unceasing rooftop watch. His hunger for justice (sex) is as insatiable as his determination is relentless; wherever there is pussy to be fucked, he’ll be there, Tom Joad as written by Philip Roth. The whole ridiculous scenario floats easily by on an ebullient beat, busy but never crowded, anchored by NLE’s motor-mouthed nonchalance. Carey Washington’s playfully chipper refrain functions similarly to the close-ups of women laughing in ecstasy during the stripping scenes in Magic Mike XXL, reassuring the audience that however it might look from the outside, everyone involved wants to be here and is having a grand old time. After the music cuts out, she says “Oh my God,” laughing and incredulous. You can almost see her rolling her eyes, giving him an affectionate shove, turning to us as the house lights come up, smiling and shaking her head as if to say, can you believe what we just did? [10]

[cycloneofthewild]

Did i write almost a thousand words for this? Yes yes i did. Enjoy pure fluff -Arisanna📚

Arisanna found herself wandering deeper into the archives, away from the portal. She did this often although it normally ended with Caspian dragging her out for a break. Ari smiled softly, running her hands over the books as she walked along the shelves. She spotted an all too familiar one.

Lady of The World

She walked over and picked it up. It was about Momboo after all. Momboo, Strawberri, who was always kind to Arisanna never questioning how she acted. Momboo who's smile reminded Ari of a sunset. Whos mere presence made Arisannas heart race. Gods she sounded like Fenris.

She sounded like Fenris. Had she fallen for Momboo?

Arisanna fumbled for her comm and clicked on Fenris’ contact. After a few rings he picked up.

“Ari?” Fenris’ voice came through. Arisanna could hear Rae hushing Vaeh in the background and smiled knowing her brother was happy.

“I think i understand now” The words tumbled out of her mouth without thinking. Fenris was quiet for a minute before responding, “What? Ari what do you understand-”

“Everything you said about Rae, the way you talked about him I understand now” She explained ever so slightly cutting him off. She heard Fenris chuckle.

“So who's the lucky guy? Or lady?”

“Momboo” Arisanna mumbled her face growing hot. She sat against one of the shelves still holding LoTW.

“Are you going to do anything about it?”

“Fenris Momboo is gone”

“Ari, when was the last time you visited?”

“Uh a few months ago? Why?”

“Ari Momboo is back”

Arisanna froze hearing that. She was back?

“Will I see you soon?” Fenris asked, laughing.

“Shut up” Arisanna muttered with no anger in her voice and ended the call. She stood up and ran back toward the portal area. As they got closer they slowed down to walking.

————

Momboo hummed walking through the fields of flowers around the tree. She enjoyed being able to feel the breeze on her face again. They had seen almost everyone again except a certain allay. Apparently Arisanna spent most of her time in Elysium now.

“Momboo?”

Momboo turned around and spotted Arisanna standing at the edge of the field. She was even prettier than the last time Momboo had seen them. She smiled softly and walked over to the allay. No sooner did Momboo get within arms reach did Arisanna throw herself into their arms. Momboo hugged the former, feeling her shoulder get wet with tears.

“Are you alright Ari?” Momboo asked cautiously. Arisanna mumbled something incoherent into her shoulder. “Hm?” Momboo prompted.

“Didn't think I'd get to see you again” Ari repeated, stopping herself from calling Momboo a petname.

“I'm right here petal, I'm not going anywhere,” Momboo soothed not noticing how she called Ari ‘petal’ until after she finished speaking. “Why don't we spend some time catching up? I've been staying nearby,” She added, feeling her face grow warm.

~~~~~~~~~

The two of them sat on Momboo’s old couch. Arisanna looked over at the other gathering up her courage.

“Hey Momboo?”

“Yes Arisanna?”

“Why- why did you call me petal earlier?” Arisanna asked, watching Momboos' expression. It hit them when they saw her face flush.

“Well you're really important to me Ari and I think, I think I see you as more than a friend,” Momboo explained.

Arisanna stared at her, processing the words for a minute before responding, “I think I do too.”

Momboo smiled and pulled Arisanna closer, planting a soft kiss on their cheek. “Would it be okay if I called you my girlfriend?” Momboo asked, unable to contain her happiness.

“That would be more than okay Boo, gods I feel like I'm living in one of those fairytales the allays tell me about,” Arisanna replied, a smile of her own plastered across their face.

Momboo laughed, wrapping her arms around the allay. “Am I your fairytale then Ari?” They asked. Arisanna hid her face in Momboos dress as she felt it get warm again. The two of them sat there simply enjoying each other's presence.

————

Momboo smiled, running her hands through Arisannas hair as she slept. The allay had admitted to not sleeping much recently and had consequently been made to take a nap. Momboo heard her communicator ding and she looked down seeing a message from Caspian.

Traveler(Caspian): Have you seen Arisanna?

Momboo: She's currently napping at my house

Traveler(Caspian): Why is she with you Boo? You actually admit your feelings?

Momboo: Caspian!

Traveler(Caspian): Is that a yes?

Momboo: Yes Caspian I admitted it

Traveler(Caspian): I take it she felt the same? If you two are hanging out?

Momboo: I'm not answering that

Momboo laughed, putting her communicator down, turning their attention back to her girlfriend. Gods that was amazing to think about. Arisanna looked up at her slowly waking up.

“What's so funny fairytale?” They asked, voice still laced with sleep.

“Caspian knows about us now,” Momboo replied smiling at the petname. Arisanna woke up more at the mention of Caspian.

“I should get back to Elysium soon”

“Can you show me Elysium?”

“Of course, as long as you don't mind my siblings flying around,”

“Your siblings are lovely Ari I wouldn't mind at all,” Momboo assured them. Arisanna pulled herself up to sitting and held out a hand to Momboo who happily took it. The two of them walked quietly to the portal and stepped through.

“Welcome to my home Boo,” Arisanna said when they entered the archives. She happily showed Momboo around pointing out the different areas of the archives.

If Caspian found them passed out together hours later he made no mention of it.

[pjo-tvs-version]

Fanfic no. 3 !! Wohooo!!! I never thought it would happen. I am sticking with Annabeth POVs currently as I enjoy writing them. This one's based on @liesmultixxx's suggestion of the day Percy goes missing. Title from Love Story by yet again Taylor Swift. Enjoy!

Beggin' you, "Please don't go, " 

I stand outside by the gates of my school, excited. It was a lovely Saturday afternoon and Sally had insisted on having lunch with her. The crowd around me was buzzing with enthusiasm too. Today was the last day of school. Everyone was planning their summer vacations. I smiled knowing that I had already planned how to spend the entirety of the few days I got. Training at camp, finishing the plans for the renovation of Olympus, helping out with the architecture of the new cabins, teaching the new campers a few tricks, chatting with Sally and of course, spending time with my Seaweed Brain.

I was told by a particular green eyed boy that I often get lost in my thoughts. As much as I hate accepting that, it's the truth I realise now. As I’m happily going over my to do list for this summer, I hear a car’s horn, startling me. It’s Paul’s Prius with Percy in the driver’s seat, wearing his orange camp shirt. “Did I scare you, Wise Girl?” he says mockingly. There is a mischievous twinkle in his eyes and it feels wonderful to observe it without a Greek apocalypse taking place.

I dump my books in the back seat, taking my place beside Percy as we set off to his New York apartment. A lunch by Sally’s and then we will be off to Camp Half Blood. I was eager to go to camp as I hadn't seen it in a while. I am looking forward to seeing the new campers, even the ones from minor gods. Yesterday Chiron had even Iris messaged me about my requirement for building the new cabins. Percy was most probably picking on my thoughts (that was something I realised that he is pretty good at doing since we started dating.)

 “Well someone looks happy today despite her pessimistic attitude”, said Percy. “Let me remind you that you have an English research paper to write a History project to work on and not to mention solving questions from Trigonometry” I replied.  Percy let out a groan and said “Well you take the win on this one but please tell me you are helping me out with trigonometry.” I laughed. It was so funny to see the Savior of Olympus complaining about maths homework. I retorted “Only if you give me an extra blue cookie.” Percy looked aghast and I was just enjoying the banter. I knew I hit the right bargain.

 “You drive a hard deal Annabeth. Can’t we just stick with something nicer like I give you an extra goodnight kiss and you help out with the soul destructive maths?” “Hmm let me think about it” I pause dramatically and pose to be in deep thought and then add “nope.” “Please Miss Owl Head. I am begging you” Percy adds with the cute baby seal eyes. Oh no! I stared at them and it was a mistake. The eyes always got me. “Okay fine the extra goodnight kiss it is in exchange for the maths homework. But I am warning you beforehand, I’ll just teach you the method, you are solving them yourself. Also the good night kiss better be good.” I say with a sigh. He grins and I can’t help but adore his raven coloured hair. The rest of our ride passed with more banters about school, camp and dates. I enjoyed every minute of it.

I waited as Percy parked the Prius. Sally is already standing at the door. I could smell the delicious lasagna bubbling in the oven. As always Sally hugged me. She smelt of cookies and honey suckles. It always filled me with warmth whenever I was with Sally. She was like the parent figure I never had. She always treated me so warmly, like her own family. It always managed to make me feel cosy and warmed my heart every time.

“Come in quick! The lasagna is almost done, my dear. The blue cookies are in the oven right now. They will be ready soon too. "Sally said as she beckoned her inside the Jackson apartment. Percy eyes always glazed with amazement whenever a Sally Jackson styled blue cookie was in a 1 mile radius from him. Percy helped Sally set up the dining table as I went to his room to freshen up and change. 

When I returned to the table, a table was ready for three. Paul I had been told by Percy was in school, teaching. Sally and Percy were seated already and were waiting for me. A dish full of mouth watering Lasagna, Sally’s classic seven layer dip with tortilla chips and a jug of lemonade were kept, ready to be eaten.

“Dig in '' Sally said and that is exactly what we did. Gods, it was delicious. We talked as we ate. Sally inquired about my school, Percy sprouting out facts about marine life and me going over my plans for the summer. There was utter chaos as the three of us ate and chatted and it was soo much fun. When our meal finished, I along with Percy helped clear up the table. It sounds weird but I had fun doing the dishes. 

When everything was done we sat on the couch with the blue cookies. Percy’s eyes rolled up in ecstasy at the sight of them and I was pretty sure that my face was pretty much the same. As I savored my last chocochip bite, I glanced at the watch. It was almost 4. I stand with Percy in tow. We had to leave for camp now.

Sally hugs us goodbye, packing a few cookies for our trip to camp too. We hail a taxi to Long Island. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Percy and I stood on Half Blood Hill, enjoying the view. Camp Half Blood was buzzing with excitement everywhere. Many of the Apollo kids were doing target practice. The satyrs were playing a sweet tune on their pipes to grow the strawberries. The sun was dipping and the view was breathtaking. “Race you down the hill. Whoever loses doesn't get the last cookie” I shout before sprinting down the hill. “Hey, that's not fair! You went first. But you're on Chase. Anything for my blue cookies.” Percy retorts and he races against me. 

As always it ended as a tie so the cookie will be divided into half. Chiron was there to greet us. After exchanging a few hugs, I went to meet my siblings in Cabin 6. Malcolm welcomed me back warmly. I make my way towards my bed to start settling in. Unpacking took way more time than I expected. “Hey Annabeth, time for dinner. We are even having a campfire tonight.” Malcolm calls out as I stack my last book on the shelf. Perfect timing. “Coming Malcolm," I reply.

After a filling dinner everyone gathers around the fire for a song night. I sit beside Percy, a little at the back of the crowd. We sing, laugh and dance till our throats are sore from shouting and our knees are worn out from the dancing. The crowd dispersed albeit reluctantly since we were having so much fun. Me and Percy walk, hand in hand towards our cabins.

The walk was purposely slow since we were savouring the solitude. As we reach the entrance of his cabin we both halt. A drop of water fell on my nose then another on my shoulder and then on my hand. Before I knew it, I was standing under a mini raincloud. Percy was getting drenched in the rain too but he was smiling, that classic troublemaker smile and his sea green eyes were full of amusement. “May I know exactly why Perseus Jackson is it raining only above us? Considering that you are a Son of Poseidon, it puts you in a quite suspicious position. There is no scien-” I say before I am cut off. 

Percy’s lips are on mine as kisses me soft and slow. As he pulls away grasping for breath, I remember that he kept his promise about the goodnight kiss. Something must have shown on my face as I leapt to the realization because Percy’s smile widened. “So this is your special goodnight kiss I see. Where both of us are drenched in rainwater” I say. “I always wanted to kiss you in the rain. Might be romantic you know. But I kept my promise. So math homework tomorrow?” he replies. He really is a Seaweed Brain. He looked so cute with his hair plastered across his face and pearl like water droplets on his eyes that I could’nt help but kiss him again.

I will begrudgingly admit that it was actually kind of romantic but there is no way I am saying it out loud. We pull away and I say with a sigh “Okay, maths homework lesson in the morning in the strawberry fields. Okay?” “Thank you so much Wise Girl. Good night.” he says with a yawn. “Goodnight Seaweed Brain” I reply, feeling sleepy too. I make my way towards my cabin with my heart content. Tomorrow will be a fresh new day and I can finally enjoy myself after so many taxing years of war.

I wake up to a sunny morning. I freshen up and grab my supplies. Chiron had requested me to meet him first thing in the morning as he wanted to discuss a few new cabin designs for me. As I make my way to the Big House, I am interrupted by Clarisse. “Have you seen your kelp-filled headed boyfriend? He was supposed to spar with me to a death battle.” Clarrise asks. I laughed. So Percy and Clarisse are going toi spar. Guess I’m going to watch a good show. “I’ll go check on him. He’s most probably snoring in his cabin.” I reply. Clarisse nods and goes to her cabin. 

I knock on the doors of cabin 3. No response. I knock again but still not a single reaction. That was weird so I just pushed against the doors to find an empty bunk bed. Where was Percy? He most probably must be playing one of his pranks on me. I step out and call out his name. Still no answer. I find Chiron waiting at the steps of the Big House. I’m sure he would have some idea. “Have you seen Percy Chiron?” I ask. There is a look of concern in his eyes. “Annabeth, dear I thought Percy was somewhere with you though it is unlikely that he would be awake so early in the morning.” Chiron responds. “What no! I just got up and was on my way to your office when Clarrise asked me if I knew where Percy was. I said no and went to his cabin to find him but he was’nt there.” I say, panic seizing me. “Annabeth, you are not the first camper who inquired about Percy. Are you sure you have no idea where Percy is or is it some joke?” he asked me.

“I swear on the Styx Chiron that I have no idea where Percy is.” I say as my dread increases in my heart. “Well this is serious then. I am going to announce this immediately” Chiron said.

Every camper was searching every possible place. I was getting terrified with every passing second. Percy pulled off pranks but they were light hearted. When I find him, I’m seriously going to threaten him about this. He has no right to give me such panic attacks. After a while of searchin everyone gathered in the Amphitheater. “We’ve looked everywhere, only the strawberry fields are left for us to-” Connor says before I cut him off.

The strawberry field, of course he must be there. Maybe he wanted to surprise me by getting up early and being ready to study. I race against the wind. As I reach the entrance of the field I shout out “I’m here Seaweed Brain. Time for maths.” Still no reply. He was’nt there. My heart was thudding against my chest and I fell to my knees. Where was Percy? The rest of camp arrives to find me there in this miserable condition. Malcom approaches and kneels beside me. “Don’t worry Annabeth, we'll find him. He must be somewhere, I’m sure of it.”

I burst into tears not being able to control them. Percy was gone? Overnight? He kissed me goodnight yesterday and now he is gone? There was no trace of him. He wasn't in camp and I realise with a foreboding fear that this isn't a prank. Chiron removes the crowd as Malcolm hugs me fiercely. “He’s gone, he’s gone” I say with shuddering breaths. “I was supposed to teach him maths, go on a date with him tomorrow and…”. “Annabeth, it's okay. He will be fine” Malcolm tries to reassure me. “You don’t understand. Where is he? Is he alive or…….” I didn't complete the sentence. That’s not possible. I was going to search for him until I found him. A part of my brain nags me- what if I don’t. I push that thought away. I stand up with shaky legs and reach for my cell phone and dial Sally. After a few rings she picks up, “Hey Annabeth how are you and Percy? Any issue?”. “Sally is- is Percy at home?” I say even as my heart slows with dread. “No Annabeth! Why would he be here?”. I can’t reply. I lost my voice and I didn't know how to respond. What should I tell her. Sally must have sensed the silence was not a good one because there was concern in her next words “Annabeth honey Annabeth are you okay? Is Percy okay…” If only I knew that my happy, planned summer was going to be my worst possible one….

So how was this? Positive criticism is appreciated. Thank you @liesmultixxx for the lovely suggestion. Hope you liked it!!!

You can read it here on AO3 too

[ownedbythescribe]

Tighnari | Over Panacean Lotuses

ıllı Synopsis: "I’m like a newborn fawn now, Tighnari, forced to face the world with a blank slate mind. Will you still love me as I am?” Fate gave him another chance, and Tighnari snatched it up in his hand. No matter what, he will not let go. Never again.

ıllı Genre: Hurt/Comfort

ıllı Notes: Gender Neutral Reader

ıllı Part 1: Tighnari - Charmolypi

ıllı A/N: This is the sequel to Charmolypi, just something to close that story by. It’s also a bit of self-indulgent.

It was a lax noon in Sumeru, and by the god's favor, the garden beside the Akademiya was empty of students. Only the sound of nature could be heard and appreciated, so much that it almost made you fall asleep if it was not for Alhaitham’s constant reminder to finish your essay and research material. The soft glow on your wrist became your motivation against the drowsy tide that threatened to sweep you away. Suddenly, you felt a little mischievous and wanted to see the gray-haired male’s reaction to it.

“Haitham, I finally found my fated.” You giddily claimed, pulling your knees closer to your chest at the simple thought of his name and adorable appearance. Alhaitham, pulled out of his concentration on the book, raised his eyebrow at your words. He could see your eyes shine with infatuation and glee, making him curious about who could make you act like that. He was also skeptic that you might have just hit your head somewhere and was currently delusional.

Yeah, that could also be an option too.

“Why are you looking at me like a mental hospital escapee? Geez, way to give confidence to your cousin. But listen, he’s from Amurta, and I heard that his peers often commend him for his academic records. He’s an aloof guy, but I heard that he was not bad to hang out with. He doesn’t like noisy places from what I heard, mostly because of his sensitive ears. He’s got a sharp tongue, though.” You rambled. Alhaitham could already feel a headache coming his way from the way you described your fated and how it seemed like you had fallen deeper than possible.

“I pity him then.” He couldn’t help but tease. A gasp left your lips at his audacity, immediately smacking his arm. You pouted and told him that you had great features that he would—scratch that, should love. You have a unique personality, are witty, knowledgeable on elements and machines, not to mention, you love cooking. What is there to dislike about you?

Alhaitham sighed and placed his right hand on your head, a way to calm you down. He advised you to get to know him more before fully giving yourself to the guy, to remain rational amidst the flurry of emotions you might experience. The prospect of you ending up in tears if this relationship were to fail did not bode well with him. Although he was blunt and rude most of the time, he was glad that you did not take everything to heart and strived to better understand him. You two were each other’s anchor ever since your grandmother died, the only person who loved both of your eccentricities.

“I will! Don’t worry. Should we go home and cook dinner? I bought a new recipe book in Port Ormos, and there’s a dish I want you to try. I’d also like to test another item in your laboratory later. I think I’m nearing a breakthrough!” You exclaimed.

“All right, don’t get too excited now or you’ll trip down your uniform.” He warned. Just as he said that, you stepped on your green dress, causing you to slip and stumble. He gave you a deadpan stare while you clutched your pained knees, comedically tearing at the jinx.

This was but a memory lost to the curse of unreciprocated love of the fated. Truly a painful and depressing episode. Clutching on to the bed, you glanced around to find recognition on your new abode. It was familiar, especially the earthy yet flowery scent that lingered in the air. It reminded you of the warmth he held.

‘He…? Who’s he? What?’ You begrudgingly thought, breathing heavily as you forced your legs out of the floor. Every limb in your body hurt, like Sumpter Beasts stumped through you. Even your head throbbed, causing you to feel dizzy and nauseous. You whimpered at pain, almost ready to throw up if it was not for the voice that entered the room.

Against your blurry vision, you saw a man with dark green ears and tail. His dual-colored eyes stared at you, worry evident in his eyes. Your hands unconsciously reached for him, but you felt yourself partially faint from the pain.

“Woah there. Why did you get out of bed, (Y/N)? I just went out to get your medicine ready. Here, sit down.” He led you to a soft cushion before going back to the table.

Silently watching him work, you tried to recall who he was. There was something flickering in your mind, but you could also hear chains rattling. It was annoying.

“It…hurts.” You mustered. Tighnari glanced back, eyes squinting at your shaking figure. He swiftly finished your medicine and helped you get situated back to bed. The drug worked immediately, knocking you out cold.

The Forest Watcher watched your figure relax while he held your hand tightly in his hand. He swept the hair out of your forehead and wiped off the sweat clinging to your body. It had been two months since he found you in Aaru Village with Alhaitham. He had been delivering your treatment himself. It was not an easy task. Simply confessing his feelings and accepting you as his fated will not miraculously heal you in one day. It was a slow recovery from there on, and it was his responsibility to do so.

“Soon, (Y/N). You’ll be healed. I promise you, then we’ll go to Vanarana and Inazuma like you wished.” He whispered, stroking your cheeks.

Tighnari’s fond eyes slightly watered at how difficult it had been. The damage done by the curse was immense, that you looked like a doll, lifeless yet always in pain. Alhaitham informed him that you were laid off from missions by the temple until you recovered. He also gave the fennec fox hybrid research notes with regard to the curse and the treatment tested by doctors in Bimarstan. He almost gave up, but losing you will be the death of him. No exaggerations there, especially knowing his kind.

With a soft sigh, Tighnari went back to his work. Luckily, the other forest rangers were understanding of his predicament. Collei took the initiative to lighten his workload as he cared for you, while he got Amir and Nasrin to lead most of the expeditions in the Avidya Forest. Cyno would come by from time to time, but he knew that the General Mahamatra had his own burdens to shoulder.

“Let’s see, we’ve managed to get this far. This medication should be administered next week.” He uttered, reading the papers he got from the Scribe.

Hours later, you woke up from your slumber. You blinked languidly, trying to erase the sleep that crept into your eyes. The afternoon light around the room made you feel nostalgic for some reason. It was like you had been in this room numerous times. Standing up, you trudged outside to get some fresh air.

“Beautiful.” You uttered, mesmerized at the scene before you. The large white flowers around made the place special. The birds chirped and flew into the sky, ready to come home and rest for the day. The foxes skittered around, gathering their kits back for dinner. They all had their homes, but where was yours?

You were not sure how long you were outside, watching everything around you pass by. It was like time did not exist in your world. It was a little chilly, but the hollow feeling in your chest felt like the winds of Dragonspine. You had a lot of questions, but one thing you wished to know was where was the person who took care of you?

“(Y/N)! There you are.” You heard somebody say. It was that guy. He seemed distressed, or from what you could recall was the name of that emotion. You were not sure, but you turned around to walk towards him. Albeit a little unstable from the lack of movement you had minutes prior.

“You lummox! It’s already freezing out here. Why didn’t you come back to heat up?” He asked. You fiddled with your fingers.

“The sunset was breathtaking, so I sat down there. I wished you were there to see it too.“ To say that Tighnari was surprised was an understatement. It was the first time he heard you say a complete sentence in months. He could not help but hold your hands tighter, happy about your progress. His warmth made you smile. It was nice.

Tighnari bit his lip at the look on your face. Serene was evident in your eyes, and the small curve of your lips assured him that you would recover, that he would not lose you. As for you, there was a place that you wished to go with him, but the words were stuck in your throat. You did not know how to articulate your request properly, but he circled his thumb at the back of your hands. It was a silent encouragement to tell him what you wanted.

“Can we go over there? I saw crystalflies flickering by that hill. You might love to see them too.” You urged. It was strange for Tighnari to be obedient, but your words made him crumble.

“Don’t let go of my hand, okay?”

Once you reached the top, you silently watched the dendro crystalflies flutter in the wind. It was adorable how they flew around, shining the viridian Forest before you. The questions that occupied your mind for a while now have resurfaced, and you had the urge to ask this person.

“I’ve been having dreams, most likely bygone memories. I seemed to like this one person, but I can’t recall his name. You resemble him so much, so I deduced that it might be you. M-May I… know your name?” Your meekness seeped through his heart, the guilt and pain blending to deal damage to the Forest Watcher’s heart. He was aware that fragmented memories were one of the effects of the curse. It was just painful for him for reality to jab him in the gut.

“Tighnari. I’m the Forest Watcher, Tighnari. I hope you remember my name this time, (Y/N).” He decided to tease in the end. Your eyes widened at his tone, making you laugh at his words. It made him giddy to hear you laugh to your heart’s content. He was satisfied.

“This may come as a surprise, but can you tell me about us, Tighnari? Are we close?” The query left him stunned and conflicted. You could see it in his eyes, so you held his cheeks. Honesty, that was all you ask from him.

Tighnari, albeit skeptical, told you stories based on his memories. You were from Spantamad and met him, an Amurta researcher, to collaborate on a project on Withering Zones. It was the first time he enjoyed being in the presence of somebody. You had an eccentric wit and personality that attracted him to you like a magnet. Eventually, he figured that you were special to him, even before your name was etched on his wrist. However, you eventually drifted apart due to busy schedules with you working for the Temple of Silence while him with the Forest Rangers. He missed your adventures and idle chats during this time, so when his hands were free, he would invite you to hang out sometime.

Tighnari noticed you were listening intently, so he continued. He recalled one special memory in his mind. It was the moment you danced under the moonlight, and the Nilotpala Lotuses were gleaming as you used your vision. It was the moment he fell deeper for you, but he could not reenact his feelings, at least not until it was too late. He ended his story with finding you in Aaru Village with Alhaitham, suffering from the curse.

“So… you love me?” You whispered, flushed yet saddened at the thought of Tighnari and his love for you.

“Every inch of you. It became a misunderstanding because I did not enact my feelings despite being fated. I was confident that my love was conveyed to you, but I was unclear. Right now, I want to express myself thoroughly, to tell you that you are the only one I’m willing to spend my life with.” He replied, his eyes flaming with determination. You gapped like a fish out of water, overwhelmed that he never lost faith in what you two had.

“I’m like a newborn fawn now, Tighnari, forced to face the world with a blank slate mind. The memories you have of me may not reflect the person you once knew. Will you still love me as I am? Will it be all right if I lay my heart in yours?” Tears slipped through your eyes, anxious yet relieved to finally voice what you had been holding back. Tighnari wiped your tears and placed a kiss on your forehead.

“I will. You have my heart as much as I have yours.” You closed your eyes and let yourself rest in his chest, his beating heart calming your own. It almost lulled you to sleep. The Forest Watcher held you impossibly close, wanting to feel every being of you in his. No matter what, he will not let go. Never again.

Please do not copy or repost my stories, but notes and reblogs are always appreciated!

[corpsentry]

recent stories i have read or watched or vored sexily

1. so yesterday i was on page 139 of gideon the ninth and today i finished it. i did nothing until i finished it. i physically could not stop. i mean i should have known it from the moment it had the most epic characters page of all the houses and each house had cool as balls names like Hope Of The Emperor and Wisdom Of The Emperor and Rose Unblossomed or however that one goes but holy mother of god…………. they did not lie this book went hard as fuck. i was reminded of something and i’m going to reblog it shortly so you can read it but i saw a tumblr post that was talking about dungeon meshi’s character designs versus genshin impact’s and another where an author was like ok but where’s the gross part?? where’s the pathetic in the characters??? and gideon the ninth does this so well. god, gideon and harrow are trying to beat each other into the ground for the better part of the book but then you get this insane 180 flip and they’re in a POOL and mein gotte when harrow said i am undone without you my eyes cried Just A Little. i forget, i think, sometimes, that people are most beautiful when they are wretched and clumsy and honest. i think this particularly because i’ve been on a hetero chinese language dramas and movies binge lately and i turned off the part of my brain that revels in messy honest art and let the part that wants to stare at bailu for 30 hours stare at bailu for 30 hours. but maybe it is time to stop watching things only to look at beautiful women (who are, admittedly, very fucking beautiful). maybe it is time to GO TO THE FUCKASS FARAWAY LIBRARY TOMORROW TO BORROW HARROW THE NINTH. what da hell. the world building in this novel is motherfucking exquisite. you have to work so goddamn hard to make a line like Emperor the Necromancer Divine God Salvation The Resurrection with a bunch of little semicolons in between work but it works, it works because it’s cool, it’s cool because it’s grimey and gross and funny, i would do astounding things for all of these people (except silas, who can get fucked). and gideon is such a spectacular narrator, to be introduced to this world through her eyes is an honor and a gift, and harrow….. HARROWWWWWWW AOUUUUUUUU YAUUUUUUUUUUUU i’m obsessed. it’s over. i am officially down horrendous

2. now i’m gonna talk to you guys about amidst a snowstorm of love 在暴雪时分. my mom keeps being like so are you done with the helsinki drama yet and i have to keep being like no because There Is No Drama but anyway ok i started it because wulei…….. and now i am Bereft and Despaired fr that they put wulei in this when man has so much more to him. listen up my guys. i have never seen or read or heard or played a story that has so little….. story. it is remarkably, devastatingly substanceless. it is like watching a 3 hour chill lofi playlist. every once in a while the dog in the animated background runs around the armchair. the fire crackles through the same 5 frames. otherwise— nothing. i’m honestly amazed that they managed to do this, this, this is Not what slice of life is. this is also not what straight romance is??? i am a longtime purveyor of the hetero romance arts and this is hetero romance sans all of the misunderstandings and miscommunications that generate teary breakdowns and mismanaged fights. there is literally no conflict which can be fine except there isn’t even, like, admiration for the small things in life or familial love or friendship which Does Not A Story Make. now i don’t say this lightly as i am a strong believer that if the plot only advances because the cast is too fucking stupid to talk to each other then it’s a shit plot but for the first time in my life i wish there Would be a petty misunderstanding so we could at least see a fraction of the characters’ personalities. now see the Premise is that the protagonist goes to finland to participate in a 9-ball competition and pulls the brooding grad student she meets there back into the world of billiards or whatever but the 9-ball is just a vehicle in the purest sense for the romance. she will be like i practice now and then go practice and then wulei shows up with coffee and that’s it, the 9-ball table was there so wulei could lean on it and look hot in 4 shots. i’m genuinely astounded. nothing fucking HAPPENS in this drama. literally i will sit through an entire episode and it’s just like, zhao lusi wants coffee…., there is coffee…., romantic moments (6-7) insert song (2-3) close up slow mo gazing (399999). seriously i would commit unspeakable crimes for wulei but even i cannot watch this drama straight without falling asleep. it is the emptiest thing i have ever seen and it is so spectacularly committed to this absolutely void of writing. also wulei’s character is dirt poor but he spends all his money on taking zhao jinmai to expensive ass fuck restaurants and then gets sick from overwork and no one TALKS about it. it’s not even a decent straight romance because there is no communication or anything remotely interesting happening in the relationship. it’s not a drama, mein gott, it’s a medley of cute heartwarming moments between two very beautiful and very talented actors who have been kidnapped and locked in a snowy nightmare where all they can do is smile at each other shyly and sometimes hold hands. crazy…………….. wasted potential for my babygirls………. (bereft)

3. watched episode 2 of oh no here comes trouble不良执念清除师 i cannot get over the fact that pu yiyong draws digital art. it’s just so lovely a detail. the first time they showed his drawing tablet and the tablet pen i was like WOAA…. HES JUST LIKE ME FR i mean he’s just like me fr he has a goofy little mullet and he talks back like it’s his 9-5 it’s brilliant. this is excellent representation for brooding angsty teens who also like to draw with clip studio paint. Possibly watching this at 2 am was a mistake as i am prone to nightmares about godless things but it’s such a fun drama and it handles tonal shifts with a clarity that i rarely see in tv….. also pu yiyong’s actor is just great. i mean god, he has eyebrows and they’re mad at you. good for him. slay

4. we’re on episode, i dunno, 23 of the double墨雨云间 now i think and it’s great but it’s true, especially after binging 80% of gideon the ninth in one day that much like how genshin impact’s character designs are designed to be attractive to as many people as possible, the double’s characters are meant to be perfect and attentive to the maximum number of people. the catharsis of seeing the protagonist triumph over the evil conspiring antagonist is only cathartic so many times, and i think im running up against the ceiling of that catharsis. we know fangfei’s brilliant and we know xiaoheng won’t let anything happen to her so it just becomes 5d chess between the morally black and white chess players, it becomes watching schemes unfold and collapse like origami boats, over and over again. they don’t sink because there isn’t any water. they’re beautiful but they can’t bear weight. and after spending too much time in these homes, in the chinese dramas hole or the kpop gorilla groups hole or the mainstream shounen hole i have to punch myself in the dick and be like ok now you are re entering the world as a person amongst other people, because it gives you tunnel vision! they’re all conventionally attractive queens with snatched waists and perfectly managed profiles, variety show personalities but you see i remembered that I Want Harrowhark Nonagesimus. i want the grit and the dirt and the morning sunlight all at once. what i mean is i will be borrowing harrow the ninth from the public library tomorrow if it means i have to take a train 2 hours out to fuckass nowhere to get it. what i mean is i am going back into the game and i am going 2 Win

[berrypass-de-murdler]

87. The Water Tower Bar & Kill

Book 2+ update!

Fletch would prefer to make fewer designs and artworks. She is not dropping out, but doesn't generally like large projects and prefers to only make occasional designs when she has motivation.

Instead of reading and writing episodes in groups, I am going to take them one at a time to try and ensure there aren't many short duds

And episodes will be posted at night my time instead of the afternoon, so there will be a pretty big shift in posting time-

None of this matters to anyone but me lmao

DON'T READ THE EPISODES UNTIL YOU'VE FINISHED THE FIRST BOOK!!

Logi full-body gurgles, lacking a real stomach.

LOGICO: All right I will FOOD. Jesus.

He goes to the Water Tower Bar & Kill to get food. At least the food isn’t served up by Aubergine. But it’s still SO BAD!

LOGICO: EUGH! [spits out] This is SO BAD! What even is this? WAITER: ‘Chicken’. LOGICO: My god.

The waiter that just told him that suddenly drops dead! NOOO, THE VICTIMS CAN’T HAVE LINES OR WE GET ATTACHED TO THEM 😭

LOGICO: Well, there’s an excuse not to finish my food. MIDNIGHT: Oh, Deductive Logico. Funny seeing you around here. LOGICO: Don’t you have a movie to work on? MIDNIGHT: You have a movie to work on.

Dusty and Argyle are tearing at steak together, and some woman suspect is there too.

LOGICO: Who are you? MARENGO: WOW. VERY FUNNY.  LOGICO: No seriously. MARENGO: UGHHHHH.  LOGICO: Oh, ohhh… the background character. MARENGO: YES, idiot!

As if all this behavior wasn’t suspicious enough, Dusty is also inhaling a LOT of wine.

LOGICO: Where did you get that??? ARGYLE: This is a BAR, ya moron. DUSTY: UM, NO! I GOT THIS FROM MY OLD FRIEND FATHER MANGO! HE LOOOVES WINE! LOGICO: Yes, I’m aware. DUSTY: He taught me that wine is so important, I don’t even need the movie industry anymore. I have wine instead!

Logico doesn’t want to hear any more of whatever this is. 

DUSTY: On second thought, I gotta be somewhere.

He runs into the bathroom and never comes out.

ARGYLE: Good. I hate that bloody cheese-stick. MIDNIGHT: Ohhhh, lookit…

Midnight is admiring a framed DVD box set of his movies, hanging on the wall.

MIDNIGHT: It reminds me of my movies.

Logico gets a creepy text.

‘Hey bbg’

He screams aloud. He replies ‘WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, FUCKING CREEPY ROBOT WITH A DESIRE FOR INTIMACY????’

‘It’s Irratino :’<’

‘OH.’

MIDNIGHT: Logico. Stop staring so endearingly at your phone. You have a job. LOGICO: Oh right. WAIT A SECOND! THE BACKGROUND WOMAN SNUCK AWAY!!

Logi finds her.

MARENGO: Okay… OKAY! Fine. FINE… I wanted to be more than just a FUCKING background extra. Not even… not even DEDUCTIVE LOGICO remembered me. LOGICO: Why can’t you just WORK HARD and develop yourself as an actress to break into the industry? 

Every single other person in the diner starts laughing VERY loud. Even Midnight. 

LOGICO: WHAT?? I’M SERIOUS!!

They laugh louder. 

LOGICO: STOP!!!

It is DEAFENING. Logico gets a headache and can’t hear his own thoughts, so he stumbles out of the building, letting another criminal go.

MARENGO: I’LL NEVER BE IN THE BACKGROUND AGAIN!!

Logico sits for an hour until his nonexistent ears stop ringing.

The end!

I'll be making the last three designs soon <3

Babi drag queen rat

I'm sorry for my mood T-T I'm having a lot of mental problems

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[knotwerk]

holy shit i fucking love editing. (remind me i said that in two weeks.) 

i’m working on the proper hydration series finale aka PH6. i finished writing the first draft on 4/6/24, clocking in at 85k words. and then i sat on it for a few days before rereading it, did an extremely cursory once-over edit, and sent it off to my first reader & og beta @demolitionwoman-blog (CHEERS!!!). she started working on the beta, and by the time she hit chapter 3, she made the observation that the next step in the editing process for this might not be a typical beta read, but a structure/development read, and maybe a reverse outline would be a good next step. 

and i was like, i have never heard of a reverse outline. like, i have never heard of most things, really; i just started writing fiction in fucking august 2022 and am having a FUCKING BALL learning by doing. so i googled reverse outline, read the top three hits lol, and was like OH FUCK YES. 

because i do not Outline-outline when i write. all respect to those who do!!!!!, but i just Can Not. i have tried, and i get both daunted and bored, and that combo is like fucking kryptonite to my brain. for a longer piece (or a piece that doesn’t just burst out of my fingertips in response to a gifset or bts drop or tweet or gc comment 😅), i do make a sort of vibes outline. like, i open a fresh doc and splort down all the themey ideas i’m able to put words to at that point, and i make notes on whatever beats have already formed in my head, but it’s loose and sketchy at best. and then i write and see what happens as the story unfolds, and i go back to that notes doc to sort of talk to myself about it, to update the vibe outline as i get further in my draft, etc. 

but PH6 is the longest & most complex thing i’ve written yet, so by the time i got to the end of the first draft—by the time i’d put the whole story into words—i was like, oh my god, what is this. like, has this done the thing i wanted to do, per my vibe outline, and also, what did it actually do, and is it legible (whatever that means; like far be it from me to tell the reader what they should get out of something, but, generally speaking, is it cohesive.). now that i have told the story, like… what the fuck is the story about please, and does it "work." 

so i “finished” my reverse outline yesterday and omfg it’s helping so much and it’s SO EXCITING!!!! LIKE, THIS IS HELPING ME WRAP MY MIND AROUND THE THING I DID, SO I AM BETTER ABLE TO SEE WHAT I AM TRYING TO DO!!!! AND I CAN WORK WITH THAT!!!!!

it’s like i had a bunch of kittens scrambling around in my brain and while i was writing i was like 'oh i love these kittens so much, and i really hope this story herds these kittens effectively so they slow down just enough that people can really see their cute little faces (including me, i am people)' and then i finished the first draft and was like 'ahhh did the story herd the kittens??? i can't tell, they're still moving too fast in my brain' and then the reverse outline showed up and was like I COME BEARING TUNA AND FIFTEEN CARDBOARD BOXES and now i can see the kittens better. 

and then! i slept on it last night, and this morning my brain was like, “oh, here, why don’t i just efficiently articulate the vibes and arrange them in a tidy visual diagram that reveals how they all flow through the story for you?” WHEE!!

and then i got so excited that i had to put it down and write all this instead of working on it further 

(this, which could probably use its own reverse outline lmao)

like, i’m reading Mary Ruefle’s Madness, Rack, and Honey, which is a book of collected lectures that i cannot stop screaming about and that slaps so hard i keep having to throw it across the room, and just the other day i read, in the chapter “On Secrets,” 

I used to think I wrote because there was something I wanted to say. Then I thought, “I will continue to write because I have not yet said what I wanted to say”; but I know now I continue to write because I have not yet heard what I have been listening to.

and i think the reverse outline is helping me hear it a little better, and that is fucking exciting.

[redflemmefoxy]

Allow me to share my humble opinion of actfl

🦊Spoilers ahead🍎

Honestly I sobbed so much during the whole book:

💜 Evajacks reunion got me like:

💜Jacks pov were pure emotional damage and I absolutely digged it

💜Nothing could beat the phoenix three scene

🍎I just loved the romance, the angst, the pining, the ending for Evajacks. I was surprised to see people who weren't fan of Jacks pov - the way they were one of the best imo.

🍎We did get crumbs of his past, I actually was satisfied with that especially when you know he did it so castor/chaos wouldn't be alone🥺

🍎Honestly for me it was enough when it comes to backstory, we also learnt how strong Jacks feelings for Eva were. When I tell you the man did everything so that she would be safe even if it means he would never feel anything by burning his heart (literary) 😭

🍎Jacks was absolute menace in this book😂, I absolutely loved every time he made Apollo nervous even when he wasn't there. Him breaking Apollo nose was💯

🦊I absolutely loved Evangeline in this book, she annoyed me a little at the start of tbona as she was stubborn. But here she proved she has changed and learnt for her mistakes, heck she even had an amazing character development. I loved how confident she was even without her memories, she was strong🔥

🦊I loved when she slapped Apollo 10/10 moment (it reminded of Rosaline slapping Romeo in go away Romeo, great webtoon btw)

🦊🍎I am so glad they got their happily ever after, they way I was worried they wouldn't. Each time I was scared for them, they really deserved it🥺❤️

🤡Apollo, oh god he was such a clown from the start to finish. I actually found his povs interesting tbh, he really lost himself somewhere in the way. I actually had a good laugh when his plans failed, at the same time at times he was kinda psycho and scary. Overall not bad villain essence

🐉Okay but Lala was so cool, she had brief appearance but I loved all the scenes with her. Her and Eva going on a trip to retrieve Jacks heart was fire🔥

🐉Lala and Castor ??? Unexpected but not unwelcome, actually a spin-off of their story would be lit like the tension😳. Also I think Lala's story as the Unwed Bride would be interesting to explore

🐉Which leads me to a question of besties going on trips are need and don't get me wrong partners to lovers or enemies to lovers on a quest are my jam. But we need more bffs going on quests😍

💜Aurora was absolutely evil, now it was shocking to learn she was the reason for Jacks curse, but honestly I didn't mean it. Like she was the ultimate mean girl. I hope we will see more of the Valors.

🍎🤔Now we didn't get the apple lore, although I read somewhere that apples were used to calm Jacks urges, so I guess it makes sense. Perhaps we will learn more in the owlcrate alternative ending

💘The alternative endings were such a gems, a pity there are not part of the main story (btw they can be found in tumblr, the only missing one is from the owlcrate edition)

Overall, it was such a painful beautiful and fun ride. I enjoyed it a lot, I am looking forward to Stephan Garber's next books🥰

[gnrbitch]

Grunge Days Pt.3 - New Rose

Warnings: Drug-Usage, Smoking, Profanity,

Book one/ earlier parts

————

1990

Y/n thought back to that time in 1986 when she swore she was never gonna pick up another needle again.

Wrapping her sweater around her, she sighed as she walked towards the apartment her friend Chris, had told her about. The girl was currently staying with him and his girlfriend Susan, aka her manager.

Chris had known Y/n was entering the beginning of an addiction, but who was he to judge, he himself using also. So when Y/n desperately came to him, he had told her about a drug dealer he knew here in LA.

And now here she was, knocking on this random persons door, making sure she was at the right room number.

“Who are you?” A man with shaggy brown hair asked, slightly cracking the door open.

“Um- Y/n” She said awkwardly, “Look i’m here for some dope, my friend said he was gonna call to tell you about me”

The man opened the door, “You Cornell’s friend?”

“Yea-Yea I am” She said shakily, feeling a bit lightheaded.

“Alright, come in” He said, letting her through the door.

Y/n turned to look at him, “Hey is it cool if i shoot up in here? I’ll leave right after”

“Fine by me-” He the man shrugged, being able to finish his sentence right before someone else spoke up.

“Y/n?” The voice asked

Y/n’s eyes widened as she turned to look at who had called her name, and to her worst nightmare, there Slash was, sitting on a couch.

“Shit” She mumbled to herself.

“So, how much do’ya need?” The man spoke, Y/n turned back to look at him, and walked to where he was sitting.

“4 grams” She said, a cloud of shame suddenly looming over her.

“Alright, 70 bucks” The man told her, as he handed her 4 little baggies of dope.

Y/n pulled out the cash from her pocket, shakily handing it over to him.

“Jeez you’re starting to look rough, go sit over there” He smiled at her, whilst nodding his head over to the couch, the same couch Slash was sitting on.

Y/n weighed out her options very quickly, get high, or walk all the way back home, and probably end up puking her guts out. She chose to get high.

She quickly went to go sit down on one end of the couch, Slash being on the other.

She cursed to herself as she realized she had no spoon, and no fucken needle to shoot up with.

Slash watched her quietly for a moment, then he handed her a spoon and a needle.

“It’s clean” He said, talking about the needle.

“Thanks” She said as she looked at him, she probably looked like shit.

Well, not to Slash, sure she looked pale, and looked like she was about to pass out. But to Slash (Maybe cause he was high) she looked so good, beautiful even. He thought about how she got better with age, but then the dawning realization that this was Y/n, as in Duffs little sister Y/n hit him. Shit, he thought.

Y/n leaned back with her eyes closed after she shot herself up, sighing out a breath of relief. Thank fucken god for Chris and whoever that shaggy haired guy is.

But then she was also hit with the reminder that Slash was sitting next to her. So she opened her eyes, did her best to sit up, then turned to look at him. Weirdly finding that he was already looking at her.

“I won’t tell if you don’t” She croaked out, sending him a small smile. Knowing she had just given him the same dilema she gave him back in 86’.

A flash of him & Y/n back in 86’ ran through Slash’s head, it was as if they were reading each others mind. He smiled and looked down as he shook his head. “Fine” He said.

“Alright, cool” She said as she got up, shoving the baggies she had in the inner pocket of her jacket.

His head shot up to look at Y/n as she stood up “Where are you going?” he asked.

“Back to my place” She calmly said.

“Well how are you getting home?” He asked again

“With my legs” She shrugged

“You’re walking?” He asked… again.

“Yea- it’s not far” She responded.

He got up and dug in his pockets for his keys, looking at her once again. “I’ll take you home”

Y/n furrowed her eyebrows “It’s fine, you don’t have to Slash”

“I’d be an ass to let you walk back alone” He said

“Alright, fine” She shrugged, she was too lazy to walk back anyways.

She turned to look at the shaggy haired dude, “See you later….”

“Nazareth” He finished her sentence.

“As in the band?” She asked, a smile gracing her face.

He nodded his head at her, “Exactly”

“Sick” She said, a smile still on her face as her and Slash walked out.

“What a cool dude” She said to Slash as they walked through the halls of the building, making their way to the elevator.

Slash nodded his head, “Yea, he is”

“Y’know who i haven’t-” Y/n started as Slash cut her off.

“I didn’t expect it to be you at that door Y/n” He said, turning to look at her.

“Didn’t expect you to be on that couch, Slash” She shot back.

Slash cleared his throat, before asking Y/n a question that had been nagging him ever since he saw her walk through that door.

“Have you been using since you know- 86’?” He asked.

Y/n was caught off guard by that question, furrowing her eyebrows, she said “No”.

Slash pressed the elevator button “So when did you-”

“Hasn’t been that long, it’s been like what 3 months?” She questioned, not even being sure of her answer.

But it’s not like she was lying, it has only been a few months, she picked up the habit right before she came to LA, it made dealing with this new founded fame much easier.

“Right” Was all he said

“So what has guns been working on now?” Y/n asked, trying to break the ice between the two.

Slash rolled his eyes as he shrugged, “Been tryin to get back into the studio, but Axls acting like a drama queen and Stevens too fucked up to play”

Y/ns eyes widened at that, “Stevie? What’s wrong with him?” She asked

“Fuckin dope” He said as they walked to his car, “Doesn’t know when it’s too much” he said

Y/n nodded at him as she frowned, poor Steven, maybe she should go visit him, she thought.

Those thoughts leaving her head as her eyes widened at Slash’s car, “Looks like that Welcome to the Jungle check was fat Slash”

Slash let out a laugh, “Yea, it was”

“So you’re like a hot shot now huh” She smiled at him as they got into his car.

“Still the same dumbass you know Y/n” Slash said as he started the car, a smile also on his face. “What about you huh? I bet if we turn on the radio right now Alice in chains would start playing”

Y/n just laughed as she looked out the window, her brother suddenly coming to mind.

“How’s Duff?” She asked, “I’ve asked him but all I get are mumbles”

“He’s been drinking a whole lot more, that’s just how he communicates now”

“oh” Was all Y/n said

“So are you gonna tell me where you’re staying?” Slash joked

“Oh right! Sorry” Y/n laughed, realizing the car hasn’t even been moving. “Just go straight, i’ll tell you when to make a right”

Slash nodded his head as he began to drive, “So who are you staying with?”

“Just a friend and his girlfriend” She said, her head on the window.

“What about the guys?” Slash furrowed his eyebrows

“Laynes staying with his girlfriend, and the other two, i donno”

“Right” “So are you guys touring or something?” Slash asked

“Make a right on the next street” She said, “Touring? Yea!” She said as she suddenly got excited, “You’re not gonna believe who we’re opening for” She said

“Who?” He asked, smiling as he glanced at her.

“Van Fucken Halen” She squealed out

Slash’s eyebrows raised as he kept his eyes on the road “Van Halen huh?”

Y/n excitedly nodded her head, even if Slash couldn’t see her, “I’m so fucken- make another right, i live at the third apartment building” She said. “But yea, I’m so fucken excited, i think i might pass out when I see Eddie” She smiled.

“When do you leave?” He asked, slowing down as he stopped in front of the building.

“In a week and a half” She said “I’m so fucken excited” she sighed out, noticing that she was already home.

“Yea, i could tell” He smiled at her, kinda upset that this was the end of their conversation.

There was a awkward pause in the car as the stared at each other.

“Do you wanna come in for a bit?” Y/n nervously asked.

“Can I?” He said

“Well yea, comon” She said as she got out of the car, Slash imitating her.

“How long are you living here for?” Slash asked as she he followed behind her.

“Not sure, i’ll probably leave once i come back from touring with…” She let out a gasp “Van fucken Halen!” She said, her excitement coming back to her.

Slash laughed as she opened the door to her place, hearing Susan on the phone.

Susan covered the bottom of the phone as she saw Y/n, “Okay that sounds good- hold on”

“Y/n, you and the boys have a show tomorrow down in San Francisco” Susan said as she looked over the girls shoulder, looking at Slash standing behind her.

“Okay that’s cool, when are we leaving?” She asked.

“Tomorrow morning. Be up at eight” She said

“Eighttttttt that’s so early Susan!” Y/n whined

“Yea but you and i have to go pick up the other boys”

“Fine, See you tomorrow Susan” She said as she walked over to her room, Slash following her, Slash tripping as he walked into her room.

Y/n laughed at him, “Dumbass”

“Pretend you didn’t see that” He said, embarrassed.

They laid on her bed, backs on the wall as they talked.

“You excited for tomorrow?” He asked her

She nodded her head, “Yea, i’ve only been there once”

“When?”

“We opened for Iggy right after the record came out, but i’m pretty sure we’re gonna play in a run-down club”

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with a fucked up club” Slash said as he turned to look at her.

“Hey, i never said there was” She rolled her eyes at him. “Wanna get high?” She asked

“Sure” He shrugged

The pair spent the rest of the night talking with each other, laughing at as they told each other their embarrassing moments on stage, and of course, Slash laughed every time Y/n would bring up Van Halen.

He was really excited for her, and he was glad he decided to stay.

“You sure you don’t wanna sleep over? It’s pretty late” Y/n asked as they stood at her doorway.

“It’s fine, plus i wanna get all the guys in the studio tomorrow” Slash said

“Oh shit, tell me how that goes” Y/n laughed

Slash rolled his eyes as he smiled “Hopefully it’s not a fucken shit show”

“Hopefully not” She nodded her head

“Well i’ll see you another time” Slash said

“Yea, hopefully” She said

She closed the door and headed straight to her bed, closing her eyes as she thought about how the thing that tore her and Slash apart, is the thing that might bring them back together.

And how Layne is gonna be pissed that she’s now cordial with Slash, she could just hear him already.

“Y/n what the fuck”

“He was such an asshole”

“I can’t believe you”

Maybe she’ll keep this night to herself.

————

AHHH I FINALLY FUCKEN UPDATED!!!!! Sorry for the stupendous lag.

Hopefully you guys enjoyed!!! Let me know what you think.

Tagged: @alysais2cool @hoodiesandicedcoffee

[pprodsuga]

omggg a snippet just for meeee i'm so honoured u wanted to share something with lil 'ol me. stop it before i develop a parasocial relationship with you...

on a different note, if u will allow me to rant for one wee second.. this is completely irrelevant to anything but i was looking for some romcom novels to read (bc i need to stop letting fanfiction consume me), and tell me why authors pick the ugliest most generic ytest names. i haven't read a real book in a while and i'm so used to reading ff now where even side characters have korean names that the switch over back to western books is awful. i had to stop my search bc wtf is GARRETT and TUCKER. ik a korean name is just a name, there's nothing objectively special, but it's just more unique in the sense that i don't see it often outside of media. the only way to get around this is fantasy books where the names aren't even real names (thank god the book im currently reading is fantasy). PLEASE can i just get an ethnic name and maybe more ethnic characters or something... sob. i just want a college romcom to cope so i can get away from college au's😭 yeah it's fucked for me. thank u for listening to my unsolicited bitch sesh

-comet

just for you, for always being so thoughtful in your words. more under the cut to spare the dash.

your first messages back in june struck a chord within me for two reasons: talking about my writing was an incredibly kind thing for you to do and it validated the hell out of my work. but also, i was experiencing a lot of friendship turmoil that i had to navigate (re: why i wrote never to keep).

i don’t know if i’ve ever expressed just how grateful i am to have read your messages at that time because for that entire month, i felt like i did not have anyone in my life to back me up when i stood up for myself. knowing that you thought i must be someone with a great deal of empathy and kindness restored a bit of faith in me and who i am as a friend. i reread your message over and over again until i could remind myself that i am who i am for a reason. so thank you.

character names are something i think about a lot, both in fanfics and regular fiction. i’m oftentimes taken out of the story when it feels so incredibly yt (but go figure, i’m not white but have a “white” name so i understand that there is some nuance sprinkled in there). but sometimes we just crave that subtle representation in an ethnic name so i don’t have to wait for the author to explain that they’re not….white. in every sense of the word. but like if you’re gonna pick a white name then at least make them sound HOT?

onto the snippet! i’m excited to post this one. no idea when i’ll finish writing/editing but i’m excited that you’re excited. not providing context bc im a menace and will make you wait. 😎 (thank you for being excited.)

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

Sunghoon turns to look at you. “You were always the most unpredictable part of my day.” 

“Me?” 

“Yeah. You moved into the apartment next to mine and running into you a few times a week kept me on my toes. I don’t know. I guess I saw you as someone I would have potentially befriended. I could at least pretend I was coming home to talk to someone who cared.” 

“That’s…very sweet. You’re a nice person, Sunghoon.” 

He sighs. “I don’t feel that way. I don’t know when I’m gonna see my family and friends again and explain all of this, but I'm starting to get the feeling that they’ll never hear from me and they’ll never know what happened tonight.” 

“You know,” you begin, “a lot of my life was spent moving from place to place and never having anything or anyone to call home. I can’t imagine what it must feel like for you to leave everything behind. For that, I truly am sorry.”

“It’s really not your fault,” Sunghoon says dryly. “Whoever tried to kill you should get a bullet to his head.” He hears you laugh awkwardly.

“Yeah, well that likely wouldn’t solve our problems.”

“What do you mean?” 

“I don’t think that man acted on his own accord. It’s too professional to assume he’s working alone.” 

“You’re saying he’s working with someone else?” 

“Or, he’s working for someone.” 

Sunghoon gulps. “I hadn’t thought of that.”

“The price of freedom is high. Remember that.” 

“You know, none of this explains how you know what you’re doing. If you know, for that matter.” 

He doesn’t hear you move for a short while and closes his eyes shut. Once again, he’s found himself slipping up and saying things that don't translate well. Too afraid to speak, Sunghoon considers sleeping and dealing with his actions in the morning. 

“I know what I’m doing because I’ve done it before,” you say through the darkness. “When your whole life revolves around survival, you adapt to the best of your ability and do anything to stay alive. I’ve learned a few things from my time on the run so please know that I know what I’m doing.”

“Who are you?” 

The room is silent. 

“Someone you can trust.” 

[xueyuverse]

"The Henna Wars" review

♥️ 10/10

⚠️ Possible spoilers

I finished The Henna Wars and my god what an incredible book. I devoured this book, in one day I read 80% of it. It has such a pleasant rhythm, the writing is so addictive, it generates so much curiosity and makes you freak out so much that it's honestly very difficult to stop reading.

This book debates cultural appropriation in a way I've never seen before. Yes, you can use art, food etc made by non-white people, no, you can't take it as your own, want to go over someone whose thing you are using/reproducing/consuming be part of that person's culture and then act as if it were just fashion, as if diversity were something just for profit, as if it wasn't part of someone's experience.

Appreciate and even utilize art from other cultures made by people from those cultures, and when someone from that culture is saying that what you're doing (without even knowing what you're doing) is cultural appropriation and racism, shut up and listen. It's not about you.

Nishat suffered racism and homophobia in a hellish way. She saw other people using her culture to win a competition and profit /while/ they were racist and violent towards her at the same time that she had to deal with her own friends saying that her discomfort was victimism and childishness. It's no wonder that she had no desire to respond to the violence, because even her own friends saw her pain as nonsense or selfishness. No one cared what she had to say, or her feelings.

I am genuinely happy to have followed the development of these people, especially Nishat's parents. Her parents, whose story made Nishat muster the courage to come out to them, but who were ashamed of their own story and didn't want Nishat to be the shame of their family like they were to hers. However, they really sought to understand, they tried hard to change their limited mindset and support their daughter.

I understand their fear of also not wanting their daughter to suffer from gossip, rejection and other violence, because I've heard my own mother say that too, but after someone brought her out to the entire school, I believe this made them start to put Nishat's safety and happiness first. And it was actually really nice to read, it reminded me of how my mother reacted to me being a lesbian.

Her reaction was the same as Flávia's mother, in fact, but the way Nishat's parents went about studying the community out of love for their daughter reminded me of my mother. It was really cute to read them worrying about what Flávia would want to eat for dinner.

As for Flávia, her development is also very good. I didn't really like how oblivious she was to the racism and bullying that Nishat suffered, it made me very uncomfortable, mainly because her cousin is precisely the person who did all this to her the most, but I believe that she improved a lot like everyone else there, she recognized her mistakes and would be someone who would continue to improve after the end of the book.

I really liked how the author addressed xenophobia against Brazilians too. I don't know if you, foreign moots, have any idea, but, as Brazil is known as the country of Carnival, Football and Funk, foreigners (mainly Americans and Europeans) end up relating these things to mess and bitching, also adding to the fact that they see us as a people incapable of forming complex thoughts (there have literally been Europeans saying that either you are Brazilian or you are a thinking being), and those who suffer most from this are women.

Latina women in general already suffer from a lot of sexism, and speaking as an afab Brazilian, I know how sexualized Brazilian women are, seen as someone who would accept anything and treated like stupid, quarrelsome bitches.

Flávia is a black, bisexual and Brazilian woman, the stereotype gets even worse with people like her.

The author portrayed this very well, she perfectly showed how much Flávia feels out of place in Ireland and uncomfortable because she is fully aware that being Brazilian makes her a very big target of sexism there, while also showing that her dual nationality makes her also have some identity crisis.

The characters in this book will definitely remind you of at least one person you knew in real life, and I think it's impossible for you not to identify with anything there or not feel welcomed/represented.