#emotional control is self control

[short-wooloo]

"Claims to control the uncontrollable"

This line, is so, fucking, stupid

First off: Emotions can be controlled, people in real life do it all the time, it's not that fucking hard, in fact it's essential to being an emotionally healthy human being

This show tries so fucking hard to be anti Jedi but it just ends up being a complete idiot fest

Moreover, the Jedi are Great at controlling their emotions! They're Really Good at it! I'd list examples, but it's 99% of all Jedi

And you can't waive it away like "oh he's a jerk, you're not meant to take what he says seriously" because these words are very much in line with leslye headland's own, he's an author's mouthpiece, the intent here is obviously not "ignore this jerk he doesn't know what he's talking about" it's "this guy's a jerk but he's got a point", even if said "point" is really dumb and nonsensical in context

[inkskinned]

what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.

[the-joy-of-knowledge]

Common Sense for women in their 20s

Define your raison d'être

Journal regularly, in fact daily

Figure out the right hairstyle for you

Buy clothes that fit your body type

Learn to do you own makeup if you'd like to wear it

Observe, observe, observe

Try to participate in the society

Know that not everything is within your control

Do not live in fantasy or fear, they are distractions

Read books

Learn to form you own opinion

Do not force friendships

Do not stress the small stuff

Spend time getting to know your self

Know women's history & History and use it to your advantage

Have some intellectual rigor

Create your own community

Find a third space

Take your vitamins

Your wellbeing and wellness should be your priority

Have role models for every area of your life

Have discretion

Do not be quick to anger

Have mentors and be a mentor to others

Your social skills will take you far

Be responsible, the world is not so forgiving to women

Know when to stand out

Know when to fit in

Curate your life to fit your goals and desires

Understand strategy and how best to use it to your advantage

Get acquainted with what maks the world go round

You have to climb socially

You need allies in areas where you want to win

Be kind

Be content with what you have, otherwise you will pay the price

[akiacia]

some of the right words

[dykedvonte]

I think a big misunderstanding is the power people give Curly to actually change things about the way the pony express operates or could’ve done things on the Tulpar.

We are talking about a company that docks pay for bad synergy despite mandated psych evals that should tell which staff members would work well together, only allots for 5 hours of sleep despite having literally no other tasks to truly do and locks all resources behind the access of one person. The last one is likely to manage resources and make it easier to justify collective punishment and blaming one person for it; someone needs something in “excess” or the captain gives in? It’s all on them your pay is docked. Instant resentment.

It’s insidious how the company works, it’s by design to distract you from coming after them, to force tensions to line their own pockets. With all the restrictions and forced interactions, altercations are bound to happen. 5 hours of sleep a day, limited sources of entertainment, no real tasks… the monotony alone would cause bad cabin fever, mix that with just only one absolute mediator and you get the exact environment that allows shit like in the game to happen.

The idea he could just complain and try to throw his weight around to get them to dig into their pocket for the crews comfort is laughable and misses the predatory and dehumanizing aspect of capitalism the Pony Express represents. Curly was and is still just another asset to them. Being a top show pony doesn’t mean he’s anywhere close to the actual top. He is the top of the working ladder, not whoever’s in corporate, he wouldn’t even be on the bottom step unlike what Jimmy perceives. The resounding recommendations he would get are almost mocking as they throw him out like nothing just like the rest. Being a shitty fucking company, how much do you bet they’d mean anything anyways, especially since he wanted to leave the field all together.

He made a fuss and they didn’t listen, he says he should’ve done more but you can tell he knows it wouldn’t have changed anything. Jobs like this are willing to make a sacrifice if it means even a penny more. Curly makes a bigger fuss they likely would’ve just found an “unrelated” reason to fire him, hired a more pliable guy or, terrifyingly, promoted Jimmy. The company was failing, going to shut down whether anything happened on the ship or not. But knowing that they were shutting down and that everyone, including him, would be out of a job with this being their last paycheck, he had to factor in not destroying the last bit of their financial stabilities combined with every other issue on the vessel and his own. He gets another cryopod or locks and then he has to break to them that they are not only fired but there will be substantial cuts to their paychecks due to the “upgrades” (things that already should’ve been in place on their part) on top of anything else that could be docked along the way.

You can blame him for saying it so early into the trip but then again, if he mentioned it later who’s to say it wouldn’t have been worse? On the capitalism side alone how would people in a galaxy away from home, out of a job and already stir crazy react? Don’t get me started on how Jimmy would have reacted if he realized he only had two days left to fix what would be a very hard to miss “problem” in his head…

I can’t even consider explaining this as devils advocate because it’s just facts of the world we and they live in and factors that heavily affected the situation. People are just so quick to make claims on the ease of the choices when P.E literally makes it hard to choose to do anything but suck it up.

[mauvearts]

Caranthir

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[maslosstuff]

Remember when Howard had that idol instead of making wishes it corrupted him but Randy never learns it. So when Randy discovers that everyone in Norrisvile has been mind controlled by Evil Julian. Randy is overwhelmed and doesn’t know what to do his first instinct is to run to Howard that he doesn’t know what’s going on with his mom, Theresa, Heidi or anyone he just needs his best friend. All Howard responds with

“Calm down it’s okay, Randall”

Randy realizes he’s alone

[seilon]

my only complaint about 2005 dw is that we didn’t get more episodes with gung-ho mortal baby jack harkness. absolutely smitten by that fucker

[amygdalae]

since I was a child I have always liked the Hulk due to his sadness

[selfhealingmoments]

[curioscurio]

what if I told you johnlock was real in 2024

[short-wooloo]

There are a million and nine reasons why I hate the "anakin has x personality disorder" takes (mostly because people treat it like it's textual fact and not just their fanon interpretations), but by far the thing I hate most about them is like 70-80% of the time the "evidence" for it (no matter the disorder whatever the armchair psychologist pulled out of the hat this week) always seems to be "Anakin gets angry sometimes"

[storytellerslense]

JJ Maybank character analysis

The meaning of the gun

"I got this thing, you know, to protect us" (JJ Maybank, Season 1, Episode 3)

At the start of the Pilot we see JJ Maybank as a funny, imaginative, rebellious guy who, although doesn't really think through the consequences of his actions, seems quite harmless.

However, his personality becomes a bit darker and erratic after he steals a loaded gun. He gets literally obsessed with always carrying it around and, to the dismay of the Pogues, does not hesitate to show it off for intimidation.

The possession of the gun holds a deep symbolic meaning for JJ Maybank, which goes far beyond the simple necessity of self-defense. Psychologically it can be described as "compensation" and a "defense mechanism." These terms describe how individuals use symbolic objects or behaviors to cope with inner conflicts or to make up for a lack of control in their lives.

The gun as a symbol for power and control

For JJ, who grows up in an environment where he has little control over his own life and safety, the gun symbolizes the opportunity to regain control. The gun gives him the feeling that he can protect himself and his friends.

Also, JJ is the one who faces the most oppression from many sides—whether it's from his abusive father, societal stigmas, or conflicts with the Kooks. Owning a gun represents a form of power that he otherwise lacks. It serves as a means for him to defend himself against those who oppress him.

In a powerful scene in Season 1, JJ points the gun at his abusive father and later breaks down crying to his friends: "I can't take it anymore... I was gonna kill him!"

The gun as an expression of JJ's inner conflicts

JJ's decision to possess a gun is an expression of his inner anger and desperation. The weapon represents his deep-seated frustration and his drive to combat the feelings of helplessness that overwhelm him due to his familial and social circumstances. It also expresses JJ's self-destructive tendencies. His willingness to take extreme measures highlights the depth of his emotional pain and despair.

The gun as a proof of coming of age

For JJ, forced to grow up early due to parentification, the gun also symbolizes his claim to independence and maturity. It is a means through which he can prove himself as capable and adult, someone who can protect himself and others.

Because he is often not taking seriously, JJ believes that possessing a gun will earn him more respect. It is an attempt to strengthen his position in the social hierarchy and assert his autonomy.

"(...) Remind you that I am the only one who can properly defend us." (JJ Maybank, Season 1)

The key moment of JJ losing his weapon

In "Outer Banks" Season 2, Episode 4 JJ Maybank finally gives up his weapon. It happens when the Pogues are about to get cornered by the police. JJ brandishes his gun in order to assert control over the situation. Recognizing this, John B steps in by assertively taking the gun out of JJ's hand, letting it fall to the ground, gently reassuring him, that he is going to be ok.

This message was extremely important for JJ, lifting the heavy weight of responsibility finally off his shoulders. JJ, being usually prepared to constantly put his own life on the line for the well-being of his father or his friends in order to "earn" their love and respect, was now protected and guided himself by his best friend.

"It's gonna be alright." (John B., Season 2, Episode 4)

After a short moment of indecisiveness and shock, JJ gives in and completes the act by quickly kicking dirt over the gun, so it stays hidden before the police can find it.

This is one of the most powerful, though underrated scenes in Outer Banks, because it really marks a key moment of JJ's personal development. It signifies his willingness to confront his inner demons: giving up control- for once not relying on himself but really trusting someone else's judgement. He is also accepted and cared for without having to proof himself or fulfill someone else's needs beforehand.

[the-joy-of-knowledge]

TED Talks for the New Year

Here are TED Talks that will give you a guide to a successful year

How to learn anything

Power food for the brain

Secret to self-control

Don't be a jerk to yourself

Building your identity capital

Improving your body language

What your future self wants

Saying Yes

Habits of original thinkers

Become the person you can't imagine

Designing the life you want

Be your own life coach

How to talk so that people listen

Curiosity over ambition

Life is your biggest project

How to achieve your most ambitious goals

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

[zhi-liet]

emotional support strawhat