#embrace the failure it's part of the experience

[jack-of-heartstrings]

Some of us take it very seriously. There are a few things you have to accept if you want to enjoy Miraculous Ladybug, is all.

First is just that it's built like this:

You have to accept that watching it means dealing with the extremely over-the-top aspects, the stupid and the absurd, whether funny or frustrating in a given case. You have to accept that the world as a whole is heavily exaggerated, that Marinette memorizing Adrien's schedule for three years is this world's equivalent of an awkward teenager learning her crush's class schedule and going out of her way to bump into each other a few more times a day in the hall, etc.

You have to be willing to accept that everyone is frustratingly stupid. There are like four characters who own 98% of the world's braincells, and Marinette is only allowed to use most of hers when she's fueled with overwhelming anxiety on the behalf of others rather than her love life. Everyone else is surviving by passing around the last 2%. In that regard, yeah, maybe you've gotta not take some parts too seriously, be willing to groan or laugh or both at the absurdity.

But if you can deal with that or are the sort of person to find it fun more often than frustrating, then what Miraculous does well, it does really fucking well.

It's not always right away, and I feel like a lot of dissent in this fandom comes down to impatience or lack of faith in the ability to achieve a satisfying payoff when things aren't going like people wanted Right Now. (Ex: Chloe was set up for failure from the start, Marinette made numerous bad choices discouraging her progress and encouraging her to backslide, s3's finale explicitly said she lost hope, the most comically "evil" parts in season 4 follow a distinct pattern, and now she's finally had lasting consequences and been removed from the easy comfort enabling her behavior, but rather than think breaking down the world around her could be room to finally rebuild something new, all I see anyone take from it is a "bad ending", as if they don't think she's coming back, as if she's not living in the city where Felix, now a part of the team, also lives, and as if Audrey's words didn't hauntingly echo Tomoe's to Kagami. Like.... There's potential here guys. Yes this was a whole tangent mini-essay, I digress.)

But the themes? The symbolism? The subtle background worldbuilding from the very beginning? The rewatch value when you realize how long Adrien has had A Weird Relationship With Feathers, or you see the statue outside his house and how it differs from its real life counterpart, or you look into the painting Emilie's portrait is based on, or you've watched long enough to develop a Pavlovian chill down your spine when anyone says the word "Perfect" anywhere near Adrien or Kagami? The direct acknowledgement that Marinette's romantic fantasies are straight up turning her anxiety into a form of escapism so that she never actually has to DO the things she's Too Worried About and thus can escape the risk of rejection, and the fact that she's aware of what she's doing?

The way they've built Lila/WHATEVER-her-name-is up slowly but surely over time, starting with the chronologically last episode of season 1, and the first of the series to REALLY say, "Hey, this won't always get resolved in 22 minutes, actually"? The way her whole thing is LYING, and that's treated as horrible, and at the same time, a literal requirement for all heroes? The degree to which Marinette lies all the time? The bad excuses world champion? To the point that Luka, whose entire character was so deeply tied to truth and openness, experiences one of his biggest moments of character growth via embracing a bold-faced lie? The way season 5 set The Big Liar up as the new main antagonist while simultaneously setting up the biggest and most soul-crushing lie Marinette has ever told?

And yeah, to OP's point, the way characters parallels interact. Gabriel and Marinette, the humble tailors who fell for the beautiful rich blondes who never actually cared about being rich, but wanted to be free and loved. Gabriel and Adrien, the only two Agreste Boys to ever exist (with Gabriel's name change reveal and all), and the way Adrien's love for Ladybug was often all too much like his father-- obsessive, needy, prone to angry outbursts-- never on the same level, but something that might have gotten there, given time. Marinette, who has been desperately trying to stop overplanning for every single thing, but has been validated for doing so again and again, and punished numerous times when she didn't account for enough. Marinette, who wants so desperately to ensure that everyone and everything is okay that she ends up trying to control everything, precisely the kind of thing Gabriel spiraled from.

And yeah, Nathalie seeing those tendencies sounds like exactly the kind of thing we can hope to see, and dear GOD I hope you're right OP in that she'll oscillate between enabling habits and trying to do better as a mentor than she did as a peer.

Yeah man. Miraculous Ladybug has an insane amount of stuff that can be taken very, very seriously. It's not everyone's cup of tea. The writing in early seasons is very different than later ones, and if people would like the later ones but can't get through the earlier ones (or lack the same investment for trying to skip them) that's fair, and if people liked the more light-hearted silly adventures and don't like the show taking itself so much more seriously, that's fair, and if people like the serious parts but find the remaining absurdity too tone-clashy for their taste, that's fair! It's not flawless. But for what it is and what it's trying to do and be, for those who like the things it's trying to do and be, it's really, really good.

thinking about how Marinette and Gabriel are the same

and how Nathalie is going to be uniquely positioned to be able to see that from within the narrative

i wanna see season 6 Nathalie project Gabriel onto Ladybug. i wanna see her fall in to old habits to both her and Marinette's detriment.

and i wanna see her recognize the worst aspects of Gabriel in Marinette and guide her away from them

[strawberrygiorno]

if there's one piece of advice i want to give to people playing disco elysium for the first time it's to not worry too much about passing all the skill checks. yes, succeeding at them is great. but also, sometimes failing the check gets you the better result. sometimes it doesn't matter much if you pass or fail, things will continue in more or less the same way. sometimes the game will have mercy on you if you fail the same check multiple times and give you a new way out. one of the great things about this game is that failure is often just as rewarding as success, so seriously, don't worry about it.

[haropla]

yes FFVII advent children/complete is an objectively silly film but it’s also so Very Very Earnest and where else am I gonna see the main character overcome his depression through sick anime sword fights and also have his friends honestly but affectionately tell him that he also kinda sucks and he needs to shut up and see how loved he is.

[peonysgreenhouse]

-`♡´- return.

summary: the obey me datables & luke react to mc coming back to life!

tags: obey me datables (simeon, solomon, diavolo, barbatos) x gn!reader, luke & gn!reader, hurt/comfort, implied character death, mentions of violence in solomon's parts, solomon goes a little crazy teehee

i. simeon

he sees you there, in the celestial realm. he had known your soul was pure from the very beginning, but seeing you among the angels was like a knife to his gut, a reminder of his failures to protect you. 

you weren’t supposed to be here, not now, at least. it was far too early for you to die. simeon can’t help but feel bitterness well up within him as you turn from michael to look for someone in the crowd (he knew it was him. he hoped it was him).

your features light up – simeon feels his heart skip a beat. even now you were just as he last remembered you, he had always taken the time to visit you in the devildom, even after his internship was over. you more beautiful than any angel he had ever seen. 

you embrace him tight, and the tighter you squeeze the more he feels like he can’t breathe, the combating feelings waging a war in his mind. he should’ve been watching over you; what kind of guardian angel was he to let his human die like this?

“i’m sorry,” he doesn’t know why his voice cracks when he says it. simeon? losing his composure? he had garnered many millennia of years of experience working to keep it up. “i’m sorry i didn’t protect you.”

“it’s okay simeon,” he feels your hands squeeze the back of his cloak. a wicked thought crosses his mind; maybe if you dug your nails in harder he would have some penance for his failures. if you cut through the bone and marrow and reached his heart then maybe his father would forgive him – maybe you would forgive him for his short-comings. “i’m here now.”

“right,” he breathes you in as if to convince himself. simeon feels the strength of his bond with you overwhelm him, he can feel how much you care for him and he feels his chest fill with warmth, chasing away his guilt, if for the moment. “you’re here forever. with me. nothing can hurt you here, i promise.”

ii. luke

luke had always told you to be mindful of demons, that they were evil creatures who would take any opportunity to kill you. it had seemed that his warning had proved true in the worst way. if only he hadn’t been a cherub; if uriel had promoted him to be your guardian angel like he had asked, maybe this could’ve been avoided.

but he was overwhelmed with how happy he was at the fact that you would be spending time with him forever in the celestial realm. he had wanted nothing more ever since you had become friends in the devildom. you were the one light for him in the exchange program.

“you’re here!” luke chirps, sprinting down the golden bricks of the road to the archangels’ house. “you’re really–!” you’re suddenly enveloped in a hug as luke wraps himself around your waist. 

“hello luke!” you smile from ear to ear, ruffling up his neat hair. usually, he’d make a comment about you not treating him like a child, but for now it seems he’s too busy nuzzling into you. “it’s good to see you again.”

“yes! i’m happy to see you,” he pulls away, cheeks visibly flushed. “i’m sorry that i wasn’t there to protect you from those mean old demons but… everything will be fine now that you’re here!”

“would you like to give them a tour of the celestial realm?” michael chimes in with a smile, the younger angel’s eyes lighting up like a christmas tree.

luke nods excitedly, taking your hand in his, already tugging you out of the estate: “we have so much to do! we can’t waste any time!”

iii. solomon

solomon spirals hard.

there was a reason solomon pushed everyone away, why most people in his life were kept an arms length apart. he got too attached to things; to power, to magic, to anything that gave him that needed adrenaline rush… why would you be any different? you, the only person he has ever loved had been snatched out of his hands.

and worst of all, he had been powerless to save you. 

all the magic and demon pacts and connections in the world couldn’t stop you from bleeding out in his arms. humans like you were much too fragile for his liking; he had worked tirelessly his whole life to be anything but.

if he couldn’t get what he wanted from the damned, he would have to turn his eyes to the celestial realm. if he had to tear down the heavens and bring you crashing back down to earth, he’s sure he would. 

making bonds with angels was much more difficult than that of demons, but he found after nights of endless research that plucking a few of their feathers would get them to sing. 

he’s covered in golden ichor when he manages to bring you back – a life for a life. he finally was able to do it, not only to bring a human back to life, but to bring you back. solomon rises, shakily, as you feel your body materialize out of the magic sigil etched into the floor. he smiles gently, looking at you as if you were the only thing that mattered.

so why do you look back at him with such horror?

iv. diavolo

he had bargained with the archangels before, but never for a life.

in all accounts, a human choosing to leave the celestial realm and go to the devildom was unheard of. being cast out of heaven was notoriously the worst punishment anyone could receive.

but you do, you would always choose him over all the luxuries and beauty of the heavens every single time. it was true that love made people do stupid things.

michael sends you back to the devildom months after diavolo’s terms were set, a gift with the price of owing the ruler of the celestial realm a favor. michael was known for his kindness, but diavolo knew that there was more to him than that. he was smart enough to know that michael would never jeopardize the devildom, but angels never forgot debts owed. it was a risk, but one diavolo had no choice but to take. 

above all the benevolence and good-will he draped himself in, at his core, he was a selfish demon; perhaps moreso than anyone else in the devildom. 

he holds you against his chest the whole night. in the morning, he’d have duties and meetings to go to. but for now, you were his. 

“little one,” he mumbles into your hair, hands tight around your waist, “make a pact with me. that you may be at my side forevermore.”

v. barbatos

in so many other timelines he sees you, shining, alive. he starts to resent the other versions of himself for being happy with you (or even worse, happy with any of the others). barbatos could pull you out as easily as he could breathe; he had a mastery over his powers that other lower demons could only imagine. 

but it wouldn’t be the same, he reminds himself, it wouldn’t be his version of you. 

he knew the way to get you back, it’d be to break his own rule: do not interact with the past. diavolo had given him permission to bring you back, it would be a stain on the exchange student program if one of the humans came back dead after the second semester. but he wasn’t so sure, what if the you he brought back wasn’t the you he remembered? 

barbatos does it anyways, knowing he can’t refuse an order from his lord. the you in the celestial realm will be erased from existence replaced with the you of the past, the one who doesn’t know what it’s like to die. the two can only hope it doesn’t cause drama in the celestial realm.

“barbatos?” you question as you walk in the gardens with him, completely oblivious to it all. if he hadn’t been so happy that you had returned, he would feel guilty for not telling you of your death. sometimes, ignorance was bliss. “are you okay? you seem more quiet than usual.”

“do i?” he muses, forcing a soft smile for you. “i’m afraid i’m simply just a bit tired. sleep evaded me last night.” the last part wasn’t a lie.

“sorry to hear that,” you pout, “if you want to go nap, you should!

“do you not wish to spend time with me?”

“it’s not that…” you kick at the ground, arms crossed behind your back. “it’s just we have all the time in the world though, right? i want you to be rested when we’re together.”

he feels as if you’ve struck him with an arrow to his chest. barbatos sees your lifeless body in his mind, did you know and were trying to taunt him? or were you simply just this sweet?

“i suppose you’re right.” he nods his head, “but you’re coming with me.”

[callsigns-haze]

Could you write a Tyler Owens x reader where he's helping the reader calm down from an intense school moment. Like in college for a tough major (architecture would be cool lol, not biased at all; maybe focusing on better built homes for tornados) and it's like the first day of classes and it's chaos already.

Study Stress

Pairing: Tyler Owens x Reader

Warnings: Study stress, crying, emotional turmoil

A/N: I study architecture so trust me I have 11 projects going on currently and I sit in tears

The first day of classes at the College of Architecture was supposed to be exciting—a fresh start, a new challenge. But as the hours ticked by, Y/N felt the weight of the day pressing down on her, each class piling on more expectations and responsibilities. The chaotic buzz of students around her, the endless syllabi full of demanding projects, and the looming deadlines were enough to make her head spin.

By the time her last class ended, Y/N was completely overwhelmed. The idea of spending the next several years in this intense environment, working on complex designs and innovative solutions, seemed daunting. And to top it all off, her focus on tornado-resistant homes—a passion project born from personal experience—only added to the pressure. The stakes felt incredibly high, and it seemed like everyone else was already miles ahead.

Dragging herself back to her apartment, Y/N tried to hold it together. But as soon as she closed the door behind her, the floodgates opened. She slid down to the floor, her back against the door, tears spilling down her cheeks. The stress, the anxiety, the fear of failure—it all came crashing down at once.

She didn’t hear the door open or Tyler’s footsteps approaching. She was too lost in her thoughts, in the panic that was rising inside her. But when she felt his arms wrap around her, pulling her into a warm, comforting embrace, she finally exhaled.

“Hey, hey… it’s okay,” Tyler’s voice was soft, soothing, as he gently rocked her. “I’ve got you.”

Y/N buried her face in his chest, her sobs muffled against his shirt. “It’s too much, Ty. It’s only the first day, and I’m already falling apart. How am I supposed to do this?”

Tyler didn’t respond right away. Instead, he just held her, letting her cry, letting her get it all out. He knew better than to try and fix things with words right now. Sometimes, you just needed to let the storm pass on its own.

After a few minutes, when her breathing started to even out, Tyler pulled back just enough to look at her, his hand gently brushing a few stray tears from her face. “You don’t have to do it all at once, you know,” he said, his voice calm and reassuring. “You’re going to take it one step at a time, one class at a time, one project at a time. And I’ll be right here with you, every step of the way.”

Y/N sniffled, wiping at her eyes. “But what if I can’t do it? What if I’m not good enough?”

“You’re more than good enough,” Tyler replied firmly, his eyes meeting hers with unwavering confidence. “You’re smart, passionate, and driven. You care about what you’re doing, and that’s half the battle right there. The rest… well, it’s just practice. You’ll get better, you’ll get stronger, and you’ll learn how to handle the pressure.”

Y/N wanted to believe him, but the doubt still lingered. “I’m so scared of failing.”

Tyler’s expression softened, and he took her hands in his, squeezing them gently. “Failure isn’t the end of the world, Y/N. It’s just part of the process. And you’re not in this alone. You’ve got your classmates, your professors, and you’ve got me. I’m not going to let you go through this by yourself.”

She looked into his eyes, finding comfort in the steady, reassuring gaze that had always been her anchor. Tyler was her calm in the storm, the person who could steady her when everything else felt like it was spiraling out of control.

Taking a deep breath, Y/N nodded, feeling a little more centered. “Okay… one step at a time.”

Tyler smiled, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to her forehead. “That’s my girl. Now, how about we take the rest of the day off? We can order some takeout, watch a movie, and just relax. The work will still be there tomorrow.”

The idea of taking a break sounded like exactly what she needed. “Yeah… I’d like that.”

“Good,” Tyler said, helping her up from the floor. He kept his arm around her as they moved to the couch, where he pulled a blanket over them both. As they settled in, Y/N felt the tension slowly leaving her body, replaced by a sense of warmth and security.

With Tyler by her side, she knew she could face whatever challenges came her way. And for now, that was enough.

Requests for Tyler are open be free to send in as much as you wish!

tagging some:

@senawashere

@saviorcomplexrry

@cevansbaby-dove

@saynotononsense

@missdottie

@willowisp7

@taorislover94

@eloquenceinpurple

@86laura11

@rosiahills22

@jessicab1991

@kmc1989

@shanimallina87

@eternalsams

@teen-antisocial

@katiemcrae

[theambitiouswoman]

Scarcity Vs Abundance Mindset in Dating ❤️

How You View Relationships:

Scarcity: Staying in unhealthy or unfulfilling relationships due to your fear of being alone.

Abundance: Recognizing your worth and choosing relationships that bring fulfillment.

Dates:

Scarcity: Rushing to turn every date into a serious relationship.

Abundance: Valuing each dating experience as an opportunity to learn more about yourself and what you want in a partner.

Jealousy:

Scarcity: Being overly jealous, fearing partner's interest in others.

Abundance: Trusting in the relationship and fostering mutual respect and security.

Approaching Rejection:

Scarcity: Avoiding dating due to fear of rejection.

Abundance: Viewing rejection as a natural part of the dating process and a step closer to meeting the best person for you.

Setting Standards:

Scarcity: Lowering your standards and overlooking red flags to avoid being single.

Abundance: Holding to personal values and waiting for a compatible partner.

Effort in Dating:

Scarcity: Overcompensating to earn affection.

Abundance: Being genuine and knowing the right person will value you for you.

Relationship Independence:

Scarcity: Being clingy and scared that your partner will lose interest.

Abundance: Maintaining your independence while nurturing a balanced partnership.

Personal Growth:

Scarcity: Neglecting your own interests for the sake of dating.

Abundance: Prioritizing personal development, knowing it enhances attractiveness.

Commitment Timing:

Scarcity: Pushing for quick commitment to secure the relationship.

Abundance: Allowing relationships to naturally evolve.

Compatibility:

Scarcity: Ignoring incompatibilities for the sake of being in a relationship.

Abundance: Focusing on finding someone with shared values and lifestyle.

How You View Being Single:

Scarcity: Viewing being single as a failure.

Abundance: Embracing being single as an opportunity for adventure and self discovery.

Comparing Yourself to Others:

Scarcity: Feeling behind in relationship status compared to peers.

Abundance: Measuring happiness by your personal growth, not others accomplishments.

Self-Worth in Dating:

Scarcity: Believing you're not good enough for someone you're interested in.

Abundance: Recognizing your value and deservingness of love and happiness.

Rejection:

Scarcity: Overanalyzing and taking rejection as a personal flaw.

Abundance: Using rejection as a learning opportunity to grow.

View of the Dating Pool:

Scarcity: Believing "everyone is trash" and there are no good men/women.

Abundance: Seeing a vast pool of potential matches and knowing that not just anyone is for you.

[bloomzone]

The "Lucky Vicky" Mindset

The Lucky Vicky Mindset, inspired by K-pop idol Jang Wonyoung from the gg ive , emphasizes a positive, resilient approach to life. This mindset encourages self-improvement, focusing on personal strengths, and maintaining a positive outlook even in challenging situations.

୨ৎ Key Principles of the Lucky Vicky Mindset

1. Born Strong from the Start

- Understand that mistakes are opportunities for growth.

- 💌 Embrace failures as learning experiences. If you fail a test or face a setback, view it as a chance to learn and grow stronger.

2. Maintain Your Own Pace

- Avoid comparing yourself to others and focus on your own journey.

- 💌 Set personal goals and milestones. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Track your improvement and stay motivated by your achievements.

3. Focus on Strengths Rather Than Weaknesses

- Concentrate on developing your strengths instead of fixating on weaknesses.

- 💌 Identify your unique strengths and find ways to use them to your advantage. Work on improving areas of weakness without letting them overshadow your strengths.

୨ৎ Practical Steps to Adopt the Lucky Vicky Mindset

1. Daily Affirmations

- Start each day with positive affirmations that reinforce your strengths and potential. For example, “I am capable of achieving my goals,” or “I learn from my mistakes and grow stronger.”

2. Reflect and Reframe

- When faced with a setback, reflect on what happened and how you can learn from it. Reframe negative thoughts into positive ones. Instead of thinking, “I failed,” consider, “I learned a valuable lesson.”

3. Goal Setting

- Set specific, achievable goals that align with your strengths and interests. Break them down into smaller, manageable tasks to track your progress and maintain motivation.

4. Mindfulness and Self-Care

- Practice mindfulness to stay focused on the present moment and reduce anxiety about the future. Incorporate self-care routines such as meditation, exercise, or hobbies you enjoy.

5. Surround Yourself with Positivity

- Surround yourself with positive influences, such as supportive friends, inspiring content, or motivational quotes. Engage with communities that uplift and encourage you.

୨ৎ Addressing Challenges

1. Dealing with Negative Feedback

- Understand that negative feedback is part of growth. Use it constructively to improve while not letting it undermine your self-worth. Assess feedback objectively and create a plan to address it.

2. Overcoming Jealousy

- Acknowledge feelings of jealousy without letting them control you. Use others' achievements as inspiration rather than a benchmark for your success. Remind yourself that everyone’s journey is unique.

3. Managing Self-Doubt

- Combat self-doubt by reflecting on your past achievements and the progress you've made. Keep a journal of your successes and revisit it when you need a confidence boost.

[fhrlclln]

qimir x sith!reader

i’ve been thinking of this lil idea i had posted and i wanted to experiment a bit on writing how the scene between qimir and becoming-a-true-sith!reader would unfold and maybe dive more into qimir’s emotions. so here it is!

｡･:*˚:✧｡

“you don’t want to do this.” he dodges your swing of your lightsaber. “i don’t want to fight you-“

“i trusted you!” you roared as he blocks your slash with his saber. the sound of them clashing rings through both of your ears as you looked at him with hatred in your eyes. you push forward and he pushes back. qimir’s lips tremble slightly seeing you try to kill him.

it pains him.

“i’m sorry.” he whispers, there’s a slight crack in his voice. your eyes are wet with your tears, the light from both of your sabers each illuminated your faces. your heart feels like it’s so hollowed out. how could he do that to you? how could he lie to you? after all you had done for him, stayed loyal to him. he does this?

“you’re not.” your voice is on a hard note. you swiftly backed away, raising your saber up to aim his neck. he blocks and you two move in a tandem. he doesn’t attack you but merely defends himself from your every move.

“fight me!” you yelled. “come on, master.” venom laces in your tone as qimir winces at your powerful attacks and words. “you wanted me discarded then do it!”

he backs away, hesitating, his grip on his saber is tight. the numbness in his chest grows seeing you so full of hatred for him. he blinks, remembering your kind eyes and the most beautiful smile that he had received back then. but now all he can see is pure rage and detestation. your face is illuminated crimson from your lightsaber. your saber is as red as his, it was once blue but now it bleeds red. it bled because of him.

he should be proud, shouldn’t he?

that you embraced your rage and hatred fully towards him. that was what he taught you didn’t he? to embrace your emotions and use it. he taught you well or so he thinks. and this felt like de javu for him, like the same thing that happened with his own former jedi master. and it makes him feel disgusted that the cycle continues. it’s all his fault.

you charge at him and he uses the force to push you back roughly. he grimaces hearing your body hit against the stone wall and you cry in pain. his brows furrow and he stands still. you are kneeling on the ground, clutching your injured arm from the impact but you still clutch your saber tight. you spit out blood from your mouth and he waits for your next move, hoping this would end quickly.

if he succumbs to your blade then he shall accept that willingly.

you finally look up and he feels like his whole beliefs of the dark side start to crumble.

“my acolyte…” his eyes widened and you stand up.

your eyes are not the shade of that beautiful color he adores. it was now pure yellow with red at the outline of the irises. you had embraced the darkness in you at last. he sees that the former acolyte he knows is gone. and it makes him think that…

failure.

“i hate you.” you sobbed. “i hate you, qimir.”

qimir stands in place, not moving and you charge ahead, your red lightsaber pointed to his chest and he lets out a shaky breath. the vulnerability in him finally shows.

he failed you.

｡･:*˚:✧｡

good night again lmao. also, im almost finished writing the smut part for my next qimir fic req!

[librarycards]

pls ignore this is its too weird or too much labor, but i was wondering if you maybe had any tips or resources for ppl who have creative desires like writing but brain fog and fatigue tends to get in the way?

i do! it may not work for you bc people have very random/unexpected ways of dealing with this, but it's *very* common and there is hope :) [i think a lot of this is applicable across form, but i'm using "writing" here because it's what i'm familiar with]

one way is to be strategic about timing: this includes thinking about when you're least foggy/have the most energy, and/or the most "downtime" where there isn't anything in particular you need to do. many people wake up early so that they have alone time before their responsibilities. some people stay up late to write. i tend to do my daily writing (which I elucidate on below) in the evenings, around 7-10pm. whatever works, works!

relatedly: scheduling/routine is, for me, critical. i think it is for a lot of creative ppl. I write every day, in multiple ways: i keep a journal - i've done this since i was like 12, so it's as ingrained as brushing my teeth and i don't really think about it - and also work on some aspect of my current longest project [so, for the last 4 years, it's been the aforementioned second novel; for the 4ish years before that, it was Failure to Comply. i write other stuff during the daytime, of course, because writing is also my job(s). but if you're looking to establish a consistent creative practice, you don't need to be aiming for a certain hour or word count.

Instead: Aim for consistency and progress. Not perfection, not a "muse," not magic. There is no shame in making something that doesn't seem good, or that you end up deleting. in this particular instance, "perfect is the enemy of good" is 10000% true, and i think especially applicable to people who already experience external + internalized ableist ideologies on a daily basis. your art, regardless of what it is, should be a space where you get to make mistakes, change your mind, and learn new things. it should be something you can come to when you're tired, unsure, confused, scared, etc, even if it means just keysmashing and then closing your notes app for the day.

for me, having a daily practice, regardless of anything, means embracing the days where i write only one word and then despair, as well as the days i write pages. when i feel most depressed, in a very clinicized sense, i try to move from "everything i make now is going to be shitty :(" to "everything i make now is going to be shitty :)", not because i'm happy about it, but because....that's simply part of creating. everything is a bodily function. if you're not feeling good, maybe your poop will look weird. so too with writing. but you still do it. it can be mechanical. but it'll happen, and by doing it consistently, you give yourself the *opportunity* to locate insight hitherto buried, to have an idea creep up on your tiredself.

i guess in sum I'd say that the healthiest thing i ever did for my writing is something tantamount to body neutrality, which has also been an immensely positive addition to my set of frameworks for physical embodimindment. creative neutrality, i guess. this doesn't mean i don't tie my ego and personhood to work/productivity/quality. i mean, i totally do, and it sucks, but there we are. but it also means that i place that in a corner that does not touch my desire to chip away at something big, regularly. i make time every day to summon the urgency of whatever i'm working on, not because i'm proud of it at that moment, but because i want to give it another opportunity to give me something cool.

tl:dr: give yourself the gift of consistency and time, and don't be scared of making stuff that isn't good, or gets deleted, or doesn't make sense. write from wherever you want, physically, mentally, spiritually. give it the opportunity & even the expectation to happen and then work from there.

[steveyockey]

As I watched people online debate the models of anti-colonial struggle, raising comparisons to Algeria and North America and South Africa, I found myself returning to the foundational Jewish liberation myth: the Exodus. It was hard not to think about the moment in the Passover seder when we lessen the wine in our full cups with our pinkies as we recite the plagues. This ritual has materialized as an indispensable touchstone, insisting that to hold onto our humanity we must grieve all violence, even against the oppressor.

But I also thought of the plagues themselves, particularly the final one, the slaying of the first born—children, adults, the elderly. It seems that hiding in our liberation myth is a recognition that violence will visit the oppressor society indiscriminately. I know that I have many friends, and that Currents has many readers, who are asking themselves how they can be part of a left that seems to treat Israeli deaths as a necessary, if not desirable, part of Palestinian liberation. But what Exodus reminds us is that the dehumanization that is required to oppress and occupy another people always dehumanizes the oppressor in turn. For people who feel like their pain is being devalued, it’s because it is; and that devaluation is itself a hallmark of the cycle of the diminishing value of human life. As the abolitionist geographer Ruth Wilson Gilmore has said, “Where life is precious, life is precious.” We are seeing the ways that Jews as the agents of apartheid will not be spared—even those of us who have devoted our lives to the work of ending it. (I am thinking of Hayim Katsman, zichrono l’vracha, killed by Hamas, an activist against the expulsion of the West Bank community of Masafer Yatta, and Vivian Silver, a hostage in Gaza, who is known to many of its residents as the person they meet at the Erez Crossing who advocates for and facilitates their transfers to Israeli hospitals for treatment.)

That question of how we recuperate this humanity is ultimately an organizing question. People have repeated over and over again over the last few days that you “cannot tell Palestinians how to resist.” To me, it seems there is a very literal dimension to this axiom: They are not asking. Part of what has made the experience of this event feel so different from the status quo—and so different to Palestinians and Jews—comes from the fact that Palestinians were undeniably the actors, for once, not the acted upon. The protagonists of the story. I consider it an enormous failure of our movements that we have not been able to build a vehicle for that kind of reversal in any other way thus far. Our Jewish movements for Palestine were not powerful enough to stop other Jews from gunning down Palestinians in peaceful marches at the Gazan border fence, or to keep Palestinians from being fired, harassed, and sued for speaking the truth about their experience or—God forbid—advocating the nonviolent tactic of boycott. And now, we do not have a shared struggle able to credibly respond to these massacres of Israelis and Palestinians. With all of the work that many Jews and Palestinians have done to reach toward each other over the years, I believe at heart it is this failure that is now driving us apart. There is no formidable political formation that I know of that can hold the political subjectivity of both Jews and Palestinians in this moment without simply attempting to assimilate one into the other. No place where Jews and Palestinians who agree on the basics of Palestinian liberation—right of return, equality, and reparations—are poised to turn the synthesis of these two subjectivities into a coherent strategy.

One of the most terrible things about this event is the sense of its inevitability. The violence of apartheid and colonialism begets more violence. Many people have struggled with the straightjacket of this inevitability, straining to articulate that its recognition does not mean its embrace. I am reminding myself that it was from Palestinians, many of them writing and speaking in these pages, that I learned to think of Palestine as a site of possibility—a place where the very idea of the nation-state, which has so harmed both peoples, could be remade or destroyed entirely. And it was Palestinians who opened my thinking to multiple visions of sharing the land. On the left, I hope we do not mistake the inevitability of the violence for an inescapable limit on our work or the quality of our thought. Even if our dreams for better have failed, they must accompany us through this moment to the other side. We need to imagine a movement for liberation better even than the Exodus—an exodus where neither people has to leave. Where people stay to pick up the pieces, rearranging themselves not just as Jews or Palestinians but as antifascists and workers and artists. I want what Puerto Rican Jewish poet and activist Aurora Levins Morales describes in her poem “Red Sea”:

We cannot cross until we carry each other,

all of us refugees, all of us prophets.

No more taking turns on history’s wheel,

trying to collect old debts no-one can pay.

The sea will not open that way.

This time that country

is what we promise each other,

our rage pressed cheek to cheek

until tears flood the space between,

until there are no enemies left,

because this time no one will be left to drown

and all of us must be chosen.

This time it’s all of us or none.

Arielle Angel, “‘We Cannot Cross Until We Carry Each Other’,” Jewish Currents, October 12, 2023.

[elicathebunny]

Self-doubt or self-sabotage?

Conquering the fear of being seen so you can achieve your dreams.

Historically, humans lived in small, close-knit groups or tribes, typically consisting of about 150 individuals, known as Dunbar's number. This limited number of social connections was manageable for our brains, allowing us to form meaningful relationships and navigate social hierarchies effectively. Today, we are constantly exposed to a vast number of people through social media, where we can have hundreds or even thousands of connections. This can overwhelm our brain's capacity to manage social relationships. Early human survival depended heavily on being part of a group. Being accepted by the tribe meant safety, resources, and cooperation. Rejection could lead to isolation and danger. In modern settings, being authentic in front of many people, such as on social media or in public speaking, can feel like facing a large, judgmental audience. This can trigger anxiety as our brains interpret this as a potential threat to our social standing. Authenticity often involves expressing opinions, emotions, and personal stories. The fear of negative reactions, criticism, or misunderstanding can make us feel exposed and vulnerable.

Here are some common examples of self-doubt:

- Impostor Syndrome - Fear of Failure - Comparison to Others - Negative Self-Talk - Perfectionism - Limiting Beliefs - Seeking External Validation - Setting Unrealistic Expectations - Fear of Rejection or Criticism

How to overcome self-doubt:

1. Recognise and Acknowledge Your Feelings

Start by acknowledging and accepting your self-doubt and fear of being seen. Understand that these feelings are common and normal, but they don't define you.

2. Challenge Negative Thoughts

Challenge negative thoughts and beliefs about yourself by examining the evidence that supports them. Question the validity of these thoughts and replace them with more realistic and supportive ones.

3. Self-Compassion

Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially when facing self-doubt or fear. Practice self-compassion by speaking to yourself in a gentle and encouraging manner, as you would to a friend in need.

4. Embrace Imperfection

Accept that it's okay to be imperfect and that making mistakes is a natural part of growth and learning. Embrace your flaws and vulnerabilities, as they make you human and relatable.

5. Set Realistic Goals

Set realistic and achievable goals for yourself, taking into account your abilities and limitations. Break larger goals into smaller, more manageable steps, and celebrate each accomplishment along the way.

6. Focus on Your Strengths

Identify your strengths and talents, and focus on nurturing and developing them. Remind yourself of past successes and achievements to boost your confidence and self-belief.

7. Exposure Therapy

Gradually expose yourself to situations that trigger self-doubt or fear of being seen. Start with small, manageable steps and gradually increase the level of exposure over time. Each successful exposure will build your confidence and resilience.

8. Seek Support

Reach out to supportive friends, family members, or a therapist for guidance and encouragement. Share your feelings and experiences with someone you trust, and allow them to offer perspective and support.

9. Visualise Success

Visualise yourself overcoming self-doubt and fear, and imagine yourself succeeding in situations that challenge you. Visualisation can help boost your confidence and reinforce positive beliefs about yourself.

10. Take Action Despite Fear

Take action despite feeling afraid or uncertain. Recognise that courage is not the absence of fear but the willingness to act despite it. Step out of your comfort zone and embrace new opportunities for growth and self-discovery.

11. Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques

Practice mindfulness meditation, deep breathing, or other relaxation techniques to calm your mind and reduce feelings of anxiety and self-doubt. These practices can help you stay grounded and present in the moment.

12. Celebrate Your Progress

Celebrate your progress and achievements, no matter how small. Acknowledge your efforts and accomplishments, and recognize the courage it takes to face your fears and self-doubt head-on.

[tothepointofinsanity]

Does Sayaka hate Homura?

The short answer is that Sayaka certainly does not like Homura, or at least gets along shabbily with her.

A lot of written posts have analysed Sayaka and Homura’s relationship better than I ever can. Even here I will trip and stumble for articulation. To put simply, it’s Complicated. On a certain level, it’s easy to recognise that Sayaka has hatred for Homura who got her own way, which jeopardised a part of the Law of Cycles. Sayaka hates injustice and selfishness in general, and to embrace a title of a devil must mean Homura is the most selfish of all.

There are a lot of posts that compare both of them - Sayaka and Homura are characters entwined in the vein whereby both of them want to protect people. Their self-hatred is also palpable all the same for their failures. In their heads, they evaluate their experiences with pain and suffering, whereby one comes to the conclusion that it can be for the greater good (Sayaka) while the other wants to stop the idea of piling the Greater Good onto a singular person, in which that person happens to be Madoka. Sayaka views Madoka’s godhood as sacred and necessary, while Homura dreads it as an inappropriate, eternal burden for her. More so with the incubators involved - it places Madoka in a new, potential state of danger, which was what Homura had always wanted to avoid.

Sayaka hates that Homura is always off to make decisions quietly by herself, which is a reflection of how Sayaka herself used to act. Their personalities clash because of their methods. Nothing separates people more than different ideologies. One wants to uphold status quo, while the other wants to grasp and change fate itself for someone she loves, presenting opposition to these ideals. But Madoka is tied to the achievement of either of these desires, so when it comes to this, it’s hard for Sayaka to not immediately become suspicious and hostile to Homura given the former does not truly understand the latter’s intentions.

I do not think Sayaka hates Homura enough to want to hurt or actually kill her, though this could stand corrected in the new movie. After all, my analyses are always superficial and shallow, but I do quite like their relationship/pairing. Thank you for the ask.

[enchantedwitchling]

Mistakes and Misconceptions: Embracing the Learning Curve in Witchcraft

✨🔮🌙

Witchcraft is a profound journey, a tapestry woven with spells, rituals, and self-discovery. Yet, like any intricate art, it comes with its share of learning curves. In this blog post, let's explore the valuable lessons I've learned from my own mistakes and address common misconceptions about witchcraft, helping fellow practitioners navigate this magical path with wisdom.

🩷🩷🩷

1. Embrace Imperfection 🌿🌟

Mistake: Expecting perfection in every spell or ritual.

Lesson: Imperfection is the beauty of human experience. Spells might not always go as planned, but each mistake is a teacher. Embrace the learning process and grow through your craft.

2. Ethics First 🤝⚖️

Mistake: Neglecting ethical considerations in spellwork.

Lesson: Every action in witchcraft has consequences. Uphold ethical principles, ensuring your magic is a force for good. The Wiccan Rede, "An it harm none, do what ye will," is a compass for ethical practice.

3. Knowledge is Power 📚✨

Mistake: Relying solely on intuition without study.

Lesson: Intuition is potent, but a foundation of knowledge is crucial. Dive into the history, symbolism, and traditions of witchcraft. The more you understand, the richer your practice becomes.

4. Respect the Elements 🌬️🔥🌊🌎

Mistake: Disregarding the power of elemental balance.

Lesson: The elements are the cornerstone of magic. Respect their energies in your spells. Balance and harmony with the elements amplify the potency of your craft.

5. Patience in Spellwork 🕰️🕯️

Mistake: Rushing through spellcasting without patience.

Lesson: Spells require time and energy. Rushing compromises their effectiveness. Be patient, focus your intent, and allow the natural flow of magic to unfold.

6. Personalize Your Craft 🌈🌿

Mistake: Trying to fit into someone else's magical mold.

Lesson: Your journey is unique. Tailor your craft to resonate with your beliefs and experiences. The most potent magic comes from authenticity.

7. Openness to Adaptation 🔄🌌

Mistake: Sticking rigidly to one path or tradition.

Lesson: Witchcraft is ever-evolving. Be open to exploring different traditions and adapting your practice. The eclectic nature of witchcraft allows for flexibility and growth.

8. Mindfulness in Manifestation 🌟🧘

Mistake: Focusing solely on desires without mindfulness.

Lesson: Intentions should align with your highest good. Be mindful of what you wish for, ensuring it doesn't harm yourself or others. Positive, mindful manifestation is the key.

9. Embrace Setbacks as Growth 🌱🌑

Mistake: Seeing setbacks as failures.

Lesson: Setbacks are stepping stones to growth. Embrace them, learn from them, and recognize that they're an integral part of the magical journey.

10. Trust Your Intuition 🌠💖

Mistake: Ignoring your inner voice.

Lesson: Your intuition is your greatest guide. Trust it. If something doesn't feel right, explore why. Your instincts are powerful allies on your magical journey.

✨🔮🌙

Remember, dear witches, mistakes are not roadblocks but signposts on this enchanting journey. Embrace the learning curve, for it is in these twists and turns that the true magic of witchcraft unfolds. May your cauldron of wisdom brew with the lessons of your experiences, and may your magical path be illuminated with the light of understanding.

[vampsywrites]

balance of life. PT.2

synopsis: from this dance with darkness, hear rebirth's whispered grace. see love's flame rekindled as grief is erased.

pairings: olo'eyktan! aged up! neteyam x tsahik! fem! reader

tags: mentions of death, trauma, grieving, funeral, blood, out of body experience, ritualistic behavior

☄️part 1 💫

"Please," Neteyam's tears drip onto your pale face, fingers trembling as they brush against your blood-stained skin, gliding across your flesh with an almost desperate tenderness, as if his touch alone could heal the wounds that mar your body.

The battle rages on around you, the chaotic sounds of war blending into muffled ringing. In this moment, time stands still, and the world around you fades into shadows.

"'Teyam…" Gasping for breath, you feel a final heave escape your body before everything is consumed by a blinding light.

NEYTIRI

It’s Neteyam that haunts her dreams the most.

It was the way he clung to your body, molding it against his, as if in a futile attempt to fuse your fading spirit back into existence.

It was the way his hands, once revered and celebrated, now carry the weight of his guilt; Marred with a deep crimson and tainted by the mark of his failure.

And it was the way fear seized those golden eyes, a haunted gaze that bore witness to the crumbling of his world.

The clan had already began the preparations for your funeral. And though it has only been a week since it happened, it lingered like a festering wound, refusing to heal.

In the late hours of the eclipse, Neytiri found herself alone in your vacant kelku. Once a warm and comforting space, it now stood devoid of life. Neteyam, deeply affected by your recent death, couldn't bear the atmosphere in the pod. It had stirred up painful memories which prompted him to move out, longing to escape the reminders of your presence that haunted him.

The glow of the night illuminated the walls as Neytiri hummed to herself quietly. In her hands, she held onto your songcord, tracing every bead, feather, and gem with an utmost care. The song that had once been yours now lived within her, a cherished melody that brought solace in moments of darkness. Closing her eyes, Neytiri let herself be carried away by the memories, allowing the echoed memories of your voice to envelop her.

A sudden brush against her arm startles her awake, aureate eyes shooting wide open. She quickly scans her surroundings, searching for the source of the unexpected touch. That is when her gaze settles on the soft glow of an atokirina, gently floating down until it lands onto your songcord, resting on a specific bead.

REBIRTH.

It was the very first bead on your songcord. A plain wooden square intertwoven with purple tendrils, symbolizing your rebirth. It represented the day you became one with the people, the day you were born anew.

The atokirina floated upward and out of the pod, brushing against Neytiri. It felt like an urging, a sign for her to follow.

Taking a deep breath, she rose from the wooden floors, her grip on your songcord firm. Stepping out of the pod, she was greeted by a sudden chill that seemed to course through her. It was as though she had forged a connection with the earth itself, feeling its presence resonate within her. A powerful thump reverberated through her body, sending tremors that hinted at your lingering presence in the air and the soft whispers carried by the wind.

"Ma Eywa," she gasps out, rushing after the atokirina. "What is this, Great Mother?"

Guided by the woodsprite, Neytiri arrives at a clearing that feels strangely familiar. With her feet anchored firmly in the soil, she gazes upward, captivated by the shimmering bioluminescent leaves adorning the trees, resembling stars. As she takes a deep breath, Neytiri surrenders to the tranquility of the moment, shutting her eyes. The symphony of forest sounds and the gentle touch of nature embrace her completely.

An overpowering sensation surged within her, causing her muscles to tense involuntarily. Waves of energy coursed through her body, causing her limbs to writhe and contort, as if responding to an unseen force. Beneath her feet, the grass throbbed with a pulsating rhythm, emitting radiant rings of light that expanded outward, like echoes of a beating heart.

"Sa'nok?"

Caught by surprise, Neytiri gasps, her trance abruptly broken as her gaze lands on Neteyam standing before her. Tears stream down her cheeks, evidence of the overwhelming emotions that had enveloped her. Her body trembles, still shaken by the otherworldly experience she had just undergone. Sinking to the floor, she finds herself overwhelmed.

Sensing her distress, Neteyam rushes to her side, his hands gently running up her arms as he anxiously asks, "What's wrong? What happened?"

She faces her son, a ghost of a smile gracing her lips. "I heard her, Eywa's voice has reached me," she whispers.

Neteyam's eyes widen with surprise. "What did she say?" he asks eagerly.

Neytiri's hand rests on her racing heart as she collects her thoughts. After a pause, she speaks.

"From this dance with darkness, hear rebirth's whispered grace. See love's flame rekindled as grief is erased," she gasps out.

Her words hang in the air, creating a pregnant pause, before she continues, her voice filled with hope.

"She will come back to us, Neteyam. Our prayers will be answered."

"Ting Mikyun Ayoer, Ruxte, Ma Nawma Sa'nok!" Neytiri's voice booms, carrying an unbridled power that reverberates like a primal growl. As she utters the sacred words, her hands ascend through the air. The earth crackles and hums with a raw power, responding to her fervent invocation with an electric surge of energy.

"Srung si poeru, Ma Eywa!" The collective voices of the people unite, their intertwined hands clinging tightly as they sway back and forth upon their knees. In response, the towering tree before them pulsates with an extraordinary surge of force. Rings of iridescent light emanate outward, casting a celestial glow across the open expanse.

"Eo Eywa oe ‘ia, eo Eywa oe 'ia," Neytiri surrenders herself to the rhythmic chants, her eyes rolling backward in a trance-like state. After a prolonged minute of fervent chanting, she abruptly ceases, snapping her eyes open. With a commanding gesture, she signals for the others to halt their chants, bringing a hush over the gathering.

"Srung si poeru, Ma Eywa," Neteyam repeats, kneeling beside your limp body as he intertwines his hands with yours. Alongside him, Mo'at raises her hands, a sacred spice cascading from her fingertips, delicately dusting your body.

This sacred rebirth ceremony holds profound significance, as it marks the first of its kind since the days of the first songs. Neytiri, assuming the role of Tsahìk in your absence, guides the ceremony, for it was she whom Eywa had contacted.

Neteyam, quick to react, extends his arms and delicately cradles your lifeless form, drawing you close to his chest. In a gentle whisper, he softly calls out your name, as if his voice could serve as a beacon to summon your spirit back from the realms of the departed and into the embrace of the living once more.

And then, in response to his heartfelt plea, a low whimper escapes your lips as your eyes flutter open. They struggle to focus at first, but eventually, they settle on Neteyam's face.

"Ma'Teyam…?"

Silence hangs in the air, stretching out the seconds as Neteyam absorbs the reality before him. A choked cry wrenches itself from his chest. He struggles to comprehend that you aren't just another phantom haunting his dreams, but that you are real, truly here with him. Relief washes over him like a tidal wave, intertwining with joy and a bittersweet hint of lingering sadness. It plays across his face, a complex tapestry of emotions writ large for anyone to see.

"Yes," he heaves, voice carrying both tenderness and a hint of watery emotion. "Yes, it's me, yawne. You're here, you're back."

A wide grin spreads across Neytiri's face, her heart swelling with uncontainable joy at the sight of your revival. Turning towards the gathered people, she addresses them with exultation in her voice, "The Great Mother has heard us! She has returned!" Her words ring out, carrying a shared sense of celebration and renewed hope.

Consumed by an overwhelming surge of longing, Neteyam leans in with urgency. It feels as if the mere act of not touching you will rend his skin apart, spilling forth the crimson of his love.

With a desperate groan, he crashes his lips against yours in a searing kiss. His arms wrap around your waist, pulling you closer, teeth clashing and tongues intertwining in a passionate dance. Every sense is heightened as he savors the sensation of your cool skin against his, lost in the euphoria of your return.

The atmosphere erupts with jubilation as the crowd joins in, their cheers and shouts blending into a symphony of delight.

"My girl," Neteyam laughs lowly against your lips, an overflow of tears streaming down his cheeks. The warrior then pulls away and burrows his face into the crook of your neck. Gritting his teeth, Neteyam does his best to hold himself together but try as he might, he can't stop the sob that slips from his lips. "Oh, my sweet girl."

Feeling a bit disoriented but still filled with love, you raise a hand and tenderly cradle the back of Neteyam's neck. A gentle smile graces your lips as you speak in a hushed whisper, "I'm here. It's okay. I'm here."

As the last note of your song fades into the air, your hands gently release the songcord, letting it fall to your lap. Leaning back, you find solace in the comforting embrace of your beloved. Neteyam's strong arms envelop your torso, holding you securely as he presses his body flush against your back. His lips trace a tender path along your neck, leaving a trail of kisses that go up your collarbone and to your jawline.

In the distance, the sounds of celebration echo through the air as the clan honors your remarkable rebirth. However, seeking a moment of intimacy away from the festivities, you and Neteyam sneaked away, yearning for precious moments alone together.

"Srrìri tìreyä. Ma Eywa, ma Eywa."

With a low giggle, you tilt your head back, planting a gentle peck on Neteyam's cheek.

"I thought," Neteyam's voice suddenly quivers with a rare vulnerability, his battle-hardened hands, weathered from countless struggles, tenderly gliding up the curves of your sides. Each touch is laden with the weight of his fears. "I thought I had lost you forever, syulang."

His words hang in the air, laden with the profound weight of his anguish. They unveil the nights riddled with torment, where sleepless agony engulfed him, entangling him in a web of restless nightmares. The mere thought of a life without you by his side loomed like a suffocating shadow, darkening every aspect of his existence.

In those dark hours, he became a prisoner of his own mind, tormented by the phantom presence of your absence. The echoes of your laughter, the touch of your hand, and the warmth of your embrace haunted his every waking moment. It was as if fragments of you lingered in the corners of his vision, teasing him with fleeting glimpses that dissolved into cruel illusions.

"Oh, Neteyam," you tenderly call out his name, the sound of your voice pulling him away from the depths of his mind. With utmost care, your hands reach up and caress his sharp cheeks, their touch gentle and soothing. As your fingertips brush against his skin, Neteyam realizes that they are damp with his tears. Had he been crying?

With his lips quivering, Neteyam bows his head, his vulnerability laid bare. "I thought I had lost you," he says.

"You didn't," you reassure him, slipping back into his lap and wrapping your arms up and around his broad back. "I am here. Safe and sound with you."

As Neteyam's trembling subsides and his tears dry against your comforting touch, he surrenders himself to the solace of your presence, seeking refuge in your embrace. Bathed in the ethereal glow of moonlight and bioluminescence, the world around you seems to fade into insignificance.

With a sigh, Neteyam closes the remaining distance between you, his lips descending upon yours in a tender, lingering kiss. The touch is gentle yet full of fervor, as if each brush of his lips conveys all the love and longing he has harbored during your time apart.

Moments pass, and you eventually raise your head from his, breaking the kiss but keeping your bodies intertwined. His warmth envelops you, and silence follows.

"Nete," you begin, your voice soft but filled with a hint of playfulness, "I have a feeling that I won't be allowed to work for the next few weeks…"

Neteyam grins, a spark of amusement flickering in his eyes, and his chest rumbles with a deep, booming laugh.

"Oh, absolutely not," he responds, his voice a gentle murmur against your ear. His warm breath tickles your skin, causing a pleasant shiver to dance down your spine. "You're going to be under my constant watch. I will make sure you rest and recover properly. No arguments, yawne."

You playfully pout, feigning upset, but deep down, you're filled with gratitude for his unwavering care and love. As you snuggle back into his embrace, you feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against your back, a comforting cadence that anchors you in the present moment.

"Oel ngati kameie," Neteyam whispers against your temple.

"Oel ngati kameie," you hum, smiling up at him.

TAGLIST — peeps who asked for part 2 <3 if your name isnt here that means i couldnt tag u bb :( :

@unknownkii @brattzslattz @blackspideysstuff @jennasluvrgirl

☄️part 1 💫

[genderkoolaid]

I remember at one point seeing a cis woman on here talking about how she dodnt like being called Mx (as opposed to Miss or Ms) because as a kid she had bullies degender her for being fat and queer.

And like that's a perfectly reasonable request, and as far as I saw people were very respectful of it (though there might have been backlash i missed) but i think a lot of the same people who see "denying a girl access to womanhood because of her weight can be traumatizing" don't extend the same compassion to men being denied access to manhood

(re: men not wanting to be called princess being labeled toxic masculinity, also that one TikTok about using they for trans men who specifically use he)

"but i think a lot of the same people who see "denying a girl access to womanhood because of her weight can be traumatizing" don't extend the same compassion to men being denied access to manhood"

Yes!!! Yes!!!!!!!

I've been thinking a lot about "gender wounds" which is just what I've been calling trauma that comes from gender-based cruelty, whether its degrading you for your gender or forcibly alienating you from it. Gender is an important part of a lot of people's identity and having that attacked can be really traumatizing. So many men experience this but its also so normalized. Like you said, a lot of people can understand how being denied access to your womanhood is traumatizing, even when you are cis, but don't see it the same with men. "Fragile masculinity" is so often said with such lack of compassion, but being terrified of having your gender revoked for the slightest misstep is traumatizing.

The appropriate response is not "don't be a baby, just embrace being feminine!" because honestly, that's not much better than "don't be a baby, just be more masculine!", and doesn't do much to actually help (esp cis) men understand how they are being negatively impacted by the patriarchy.

To quote Jennifer Coates:

"Have you noticed, when a product is marketed in an unnecessarily gendered way, that the blame shifts depending on the gender? That a pink pen made “for women” is (and this is, of course, true) the work of idiotic cynical marketing people trying insultingly to pander to what they imagine women want? But when they make yogurt ���for men” it is suddenly about how hilarious and fragile masculinity is — how men can’t eat yogurt unless their poor widdle bwains can be sure it doesn’t make them gay? #MasculinitySoFragile is aimed, with smug malice, at men—not marketers."

When we see things like Yogurt For Men, we should respond with "isn't it fucked up that the patriarchy makes men feel like every single aspect of their lives needs to be appropriately manly or else they are failures?" because that's actually pointing to the systematic source of the problem.

[findmeinthefallair]

An Uncommonly Discussed Trauma Symptom

Disclaimer: This is in no way a substitute for therapy: it’s only psychoeducation. Please consult a therapist and/or hotline and get the help you need if you are experiencing mental health difficulties, especially if experiencing distress or issues that feel unmanageable.

Warnings: Mentions and discussion of suicidal ideation, death, abuse and violence.

Special thanks to @ashanimus and @childlikegoblinqueen

Ever heard of "the sense of a foreshortened future"?

If you have suffered trauma over a sustained and long enough period of time, you may find that you can't imagine yourself living long. You can't see yourself reaching milestones, because it hardly makes sense to your mind that you can go on for that long...given how much you have felt like you've escaped danger, given just how many close calls you have had in life.

Yet the sense of a foreshortened future is a separate thing from suicidality.

If you have both of those together though, it really isn't fun because they may feed one another in a cycle, in the way that symptoms under the same mental health condition have the potential to do the same.

It isn't a desire for pain to end (which is what suicidality is), more so a generated expectation that takes root, and a framework which a survivor tries to fit their experiences into, with the goal to get things to make as much sense as can be. Because it's often the easier thing to devise a simple formula, to feel certainty and to manage one's expectations: rather than embrace the grey areas of uncertainty about how life will turn out.

It's almost as if this feeling of a foreshortened future is in a tug-of-war match between what appears to be solid reasoning, and a person's natural survival instinct along with the hunger for a meaningful life.

This symptom isn't on the *official* criteria for a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist to make any diagnoses, it is not listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) or International Classification of Diseases, 10th Revision (ICD-10). But informally it is sometimes categorized as an avoidance symptom under both PTSD and Complex PTSD, and also under longer-term depression.

(however, I think it can extend to other conditions. The key criteria is it emerges from repeatedly experiencing horrible things until it makes sense in one's head to expect themselves not to last much longer)

If you hop onto Google Scholar to find proper research about it, the findings are very scarce because it's hard to define it, empirically measure it and quantify it in the first place.

Again, it's not the same as suicidal ideation because a foreshortened-future view is an expectation, while the latter is about a desire.

I wasn't taught about this symptom in any training and supervision before becoming a licensed therapist, nor did any of my own therapists bring it up as psychoeducation when I saw them. It was only through online articles on informal websites that I stumbled upon the phrase and it all clicked for my long-term experiences.

But I feel it is good knowledge for anyone providing psychotherapy to bear in mind.

In The Owl House, the grimwalker lore weaved into Hunter's arc, can shockingly be linked with this symptom, symbolically and thematically.

But the show's age rating means it would likely be too dark for the writing team to explicitly incorporate it into Hunter's dialogue.

Hunter was a lamb marked for the slaughter early on.

He has questioned his survival and ability to thrive.

The following article on Psychology Today describes Belos's long-term influence on Hunter pretty well and provides info that strengthens the points I'm making in this whole post:

Link

It's bad enough that before Hunter and Luz found Belos's mindscape, he struggled with the fear of failure to the extent that there was already the raging inner battle between his primal survival instinct and the already knackered part of him that sought eternal rest from his suffering (showing up as suicidal thoughts):

Fast forward a number of episodes...and we see the looming horrors in Hollow Mind that culminated in Hunter's discovery of what his predecessors went through:

followed by permanent rejection by his parental figure:

The power held by a foreshortened-future view, and its potential to isolate you - to make you feel like you're invisible, or a ghost - can be strong.

What Hunter said to Gus in the following screencaps sums up what it feels like pretty well:

In the context of having an abuser, it emerges from the negative beliefs they impose on you. It gets tricky if those beliefs are internalized, and which may remain internalized even after you get to safety and away from said abuser. Internalized until they become what you expect of your life.

It's about those thoughts which you know in your rational mind are lies, but you feel their apparent truth. They go more silent when you practice self-care but they return to try and reel you in again, and to a degree, they succeed in getting you to believe them all over again, before you renounce them once more.

Being in the C-PTSD Club along with Hunter, I personally experience the feeling of a foreshortened future as a voice deep down which almost always says that life feels too long and it therefore feels absolutely weird, like it doesn't make sense. Life feels too long, contrary to that commonly heard cheesy quote, "Life is too short to blah blah blah".

When I reached milestone birthdays like my 21st, it was confusing and made me irritable, feeling an itch deep down that I could not scratch.

The voice asks me why the heck I'm still around when it apparently doesn't make sense. It's a pervading feeling which can be pretty annoying, though I have it far enough in the background that it's like noise instead of being a source of distress.

It's not the easiest thing to explain this, but Hunter may have confusing thoughts creeping into his head like "Caleb didn't last long, why would I?" whereby such thoughts have a strange feel to them. They aren't exactly hard rules, nor are they distant enough that they can be easily brushed aside. Brain hurty, emotions spooky.

After the horror of this night:

I can definitely see Hunter wrestling with this symptom from time to time. No doubt. It was a major loss of autonomy and control that would significantly aggravate what was already brewing deep down.

I'm doubtful that the crew even established this on purpose (unless they actually consulted trauma experts and/or experienced mental health practitioners), but...this one symptom ties in with grimwalker lore so perfectly...it's hella fascinating that all Hunter's predecessors' lives (including Caleb's) were cut short. Prematurely.

They came with an expiry date set by their abuser: something very characteristic of this foreshortened future feeling, though not unique to survivors of abusive home environments (e.g. if you experienced natural disasters over many years, yet had a loving family, you could also feel like you may not live long). And Hunter's experience of seeing the grimwalker graveyard in Hollow Mind is a shockingly visceral and visual metaphor to symbolize a concept like this, which matches perfectly with his symptomology as a Complex PTSD survivor.

The battle for inner peace has a high price: it is ongoing, and extends beyond him being physically free from Belos. Because Hunter can't just trim away the Belos-related memories from his earliest years and formative years. He can't forget, but he can choose to give those memories less attention, and choose not to let them take the steering wheel in the long-term.

In my opinion, the possession scenes don't just portray the physical experience of an abuser returning to try regaining control or restoring the status quo of having the survivor in their grasp.

The scenes also represent the abuser's imprint upon the survivor that lasts beyond the duration for which Belos is present in Hunter's life. Belos is the kind of abuser that is so insidious that he knows he could leave some marks that outlast his directly physical presence, in the event that he meets his own end. He would have definitely thought about this. Leaving the kind of grisly reminders that won't ever technically fade away (not to be confused with how they can certainly "fade further into the background" via therapy, new positive experiences and the support of loved ones).

For example, the patterns of the permanent scars on Hunter look so much like the patterns on Philip's own face and body. When possessed, the markings were dark green, later faded to the colour of scar tissue once Belos leaves his body.

As we all know, it's hella sad to imagine Hunter having to look at himself in mirrors throughout the rest of his life. It was awful enough that he had the haircut-related panic attack.

If we tie all that back to the symptom of a foreshortened-future view: Hunter might be left with a spooky nebulous feeling (that will alternate between coming back to haunt him, and subsiding) that he too has some expiry date that is different from how the people around him naturally and confidently expect to live a substantially long life. As a cult survivor with C-PTSD, Hunter can't afford the luxury of those natural expectations.

I don't mean that he might plan a day in the future to end his own life, not at all. But he may have a strange ghostly expectation of how long more he has till his life may come to an end, and he wouldn't be sure of how this subconscious expectation came about.

The darker days of navigating the confusing mess of his complex trauma may feel like exhaustion from paddling and swimming to keep your head above water to breathe.

Speaking of water and drowning, plus the theme of sinking down vs. rising back up above the water surface...the fact that Camila jumped in to bring him back up, his friends helped to pull him out, and Flapjack passes new life to him...this is also some crazy powerful symbolism for surviving complex trauma.

Falling back on a support network, your "tribe", that won't abandon you.

My other Hunter analyses (link) go into more detail about his support network and why he needs it.

I was talking to a friend about all this: she has relevant lived experience and mentioned that poor Hunter would reach a milestone birthday and perhaps cry at least a bit on that day, maybe even during the birthday party: out of sheer confusion. The confusion would be silently screaming "But...this doesn't...make sense?". And he might feel confusing waves of darker emotions along with a strange sense of joy.

He may make a decision to start a family with Willow, and a confused questioning voice will bother him now and then with "How are you still here, doing this and living to see this?".

(...also, when is his birthday...? Is it documented in some Emperor's Coven records that they will find..? Even the mere concept of having a birthday is messed up for him to think about, given the purpose behind his creation)

Complex trauma changes its survivors' relationships with the world, not just with people, and this can even apply to their relationships with things like joy and how joy is experienced.

Flapjack's absence would have bred survivor's guilt. It might translate into Hunter questioning whether he is worth the love and effort his friends put in for him. This feeling could emerge at random moments over the years in his life.

Visually, I feel that these two frames - the lighting (which I'd say is unique among all his scenes because they are parts of his arc that stand out so much), his pose, his expression - somehow capture the experience of how complex trauma is chronic and long-term:

The currently most known C-PTSD memoir out there, What My Bones Know by journalist Stephanie Foo, has some content that I feel matches nicely with what Hunter is experiencing in the two separate scenes above.

The author describes something she calls "the dread" (if you get the book, it's first mentioned on page 51). I would call it the amalgamation of multiple things such as shame, the fear of impending harm, self-doubt where you question whether you did something wrong, fearing that someone hates you, etc.

And basically, good lord my poor boy in the first screenshot..with that expression of suspecting what he thought was Belos's presence in the room: something about it fits the book author's words, feeling like she was "on the precipice of fucking everything up".

That's certainly something that would cross Hunter's mind multiple times as he processes the worst night of his life. That he could have done something to prevent all that.

With so much pre-existing worry that his friends and family might actually hate him, the possession scenes and Flapjack's death would definitely shake his foundation and I'm sure he isn't past this kind of ingrained thought pattern at all:

Second, the book author calls C-PTSD a shapeshifting "beast" (page 316). And when she fights it, she must use a different strategy depending on what form it takes, and that it will keep coming back from time to time in another form. Which is why there is a particular exhaustion one feels from having to adapt to each battle.

For Hunter, the second screencap of him fighting Belos's coercion in a direct physical manner is the first of many battles he has to win in his mind, even after Belos is gone for good. Outlasting whatever invisible assailant is trying to get him, as he faces inevitable episodes of being retraumatized in the future: these are called emotional flashbacks (one of the symptoms of C-PTSD).

Being a survivor of complex trauma who experiences a weird sense of time via a foreshortened-future view, can feel like being on the outside looking in.

But! To end this meta on a hopeful note, I should reiterate something from my most recent long meta about Retraumatization vs. Self-Soothing, the first part of Hunter's important speech in Thanks to Them touches on wild magic and palisman. Wild magic represents freedom, while palismen (quoting the Bat Queen) represent close bonds in relationships, emotion, and conviction.

Applying this to how we can navigate the swampy waters of a foreshortened-future view, Hunter can use his newfound freedom and sense of agency to create the story he'd like to tell about his life. It is pretty much impossible to avoid bringing beliefs from our young formative years into adulthood. But expectations (which have a direct link with emotions we end up feeling) of ourselves and of life can be altered over time, so they become less rigid and instead more open to new possibilities.

He has an inquisitive mind which is a big plus point in understanding the impact of what he has been through, and I have full faith that he'll do just fine in that regard because of the courage we have seen in him.

Among the hobbies he explores in the future, flyer derby will be one example of an excellent outlet for him because of its physicality: trauma and grief are not only emotional battlegrounds but also highly physical ones. The body is also very much involved e.g. feeling the lead-like weight of depressive moods in one's body, feeling the physical tension of hypervigilance, etc.

It's fantastic that he has Luz, Willow, Gus and company, he will have a very meaningful career, and he'll have everyone else in his large found family.

His story...his heart...his resilience and vitality...it's all truly inspirational.

We might learn even more about the grimwalkers in the finale and that would undoubtedly prompt me to do a shorter Part 2 on top of this meta.