#efforts does not equal good results in this show

[alexxuun]

Arcane really is the “they fail to do good” show, huh?

[applestorms]

L can be such a possessive character at times. he always strikes me as the type of person who is deeply aware of everything that he owns, both in a more literal sense and metaphorically-- like, he knows what money he has and how to use it, what resources are readily available to him and what he has to be sneakier to utilize, the habits and tendencies and emotional states of individuals and world governments both. the DN musical really puts an emphasis on the more computer-y aspects of how his brain functions, which isn't as obvious in the manga/anime but i think still works well as a way to follow his thinking. it's kinda what near does too: everything is a factor to them, every tiny detail a new opening to optimize for the best results, every person and location and object a part of a puzzle waiting to be solved. and as a part of that, L is deeply aware of every and any little thing he may or may not have control over, and exactly to what degree.

his habit of stealing titles as depicted in the LABB murders novel is such a good example of this. ryuzaki, eraldo coil, deneuve. he eats people alive and then takes their names for himself like some kind of fucked up fae or trickster god, creating new masks and personas to hide behind from the remains of the people he's devoured. i have to wonder if he would've used the title of KIRA for himself had he won-- i can hardly imagine what kind of power such a title could hold if held in his hands. of course, he could've just used the defeat of KIRA as a way to build up the L title even further, offering up the body of a dead god like perseus showing off the head of medusa. but L is so emotionally attached to the kira case, i struggle to see him allowing it to fade from existence so thoroughly as near does, even if it is only kept close on a private level...

this is part of why i think it genuinely makes a lot of sense that L's ultimate win state would include capturing light to some degree. even if the memory of KIRA somehow manages to fully disappear from the public consciousness, there is no fucking way L is letting light yagami out of his grasp. honestly, the moment that L truly loses this game is not when he starts investigating misa while still under rem's watch, not when light gets back his memories, not even when he dies, but the moment when he allows light to be freed from the handcuffs. the moment when he allows the other members of the task force to turn off the cameras and keep him from watching light and misa talk in the lobby. the moment when he gives up, lets light yagami go outside of L's personal sphere of control, is the moment when L starts the clock ticking down to the end of his own life.

this is one of the key ways in which i see light as a true equal and parallel to L, as after L's death he, intentionally or no, continues the same tradition and takes L's title for himself, twisting the two sides together into the L-KIRA amalgamation. only, the L title functions a little bit differently than every other persona or title that we see in the series-- because L's true name is L. that's all that he is. on a literal, legal, and emotional level, i don't think that L is anything more than L. he is the world's greatest detective, he's an incredible, weirdo super genius, but he does not afford himself much more than that, barely allows himself personhood or humanity outside of his work. light was the one to ultimately defeat L because he did not just put a stain on his character (as BB attempted), did not just kill him, but stole his very identity and took it for himself.

one of the biggest contradictions of L's character that i think you must accept should you attempt to portray him accurately is that he is both deeply detached from humanity while also having all of his work and effort and life be focused around saving it. it's one of the ways in which he is an exact opposite to light-- where light relies on humanity for external validation, to be Seen, while also looking down on it as dumb and immoral and spineless, L is so separated from it that he barely exists as a person, all the while dedicating almost every action he takes to helping it. remember: for all the emotional turmoil that wammy's house and the legacy of L may put on the kids living there, ultimately it's entire existence is nothing more than L's logical solution to his potential demise. if he dies, the world goes down with him, all of the cases that are yet to happen and he is yet to solve being left in the air. he has the foresight to set up a fail safe, but not to consider the emotional implications of what being that fail safe might feel like, how high the price of your own humanity is if you are not already alienated from it, the inability to have your own name on your gravestone-- though perhaps some of the blame also falls on watari's shoulders in this case, philanthropic old bastard that he is.

imo, playing his game really got it right in presenting L and light as one and the same, synonyms on either side of the mirror. in every action they take they are both so selfishly selfless, playing the game for themselves and their own pleasure but plastering the needs and will of humanity on top of it. L isn't invested in saving humanity for the sake of humanity-- he just likes the thrill of having the stakes raised so high. hard to shit on ryuk for wanting entertainment when the humans he finds are just the same as him.

[yunsound]

Director Jiaozi and the Chinese Animation Industry

If you’re on my page it probably means you’ve seen my endless gushing about Ne Zha 1 and 2. I’ve always been a huge fan of domestic animation (domestic for me meaning China) as well as international Japanese and Western animation.

In particular, I admire big blockbuster animated films that managed to both convey cultural, artistic and spiritual messaging through a medium as notoriously finicky as animation.

Some of my favourite animated movies (I think this is an opinion held by every animation fan) are the Spiderverse series (despite not being a Spiderman fan) and the Ghibli movies of my youth. 

Being Chinese, though, I grew up with 2D animated TV shows that cemented their place in my upbringing. Shanghai Animation Studio movies such as Ne Zha Conquers the Sea 1979,

Havoc in Heaven 1961,

and even 1878’s Calabash Brothers (or Gourd Brothers? I guess?)

are all iconic parts of growing up as a Chinese.

Chinese animation has never been widely acclaimed on a global scale the way Japanese animation and sometimes Western animation have. The domestic animation industry is made entirely up of passion projects, which can seem great until you realise passion projects don’t typically tend to make money.

In a film industry as hyper-competitive and critical as China, most animation projects never tend to make it far. Art and music, while highly respected once you achieve success, have high barriers to entry. Chinese people are very critical of artistic work because of thousands of years of artistic development.

You may have heard of a recent animated film in China called A Mermaid Summer (or however it was translated). 2 people spent 7 years making it- the movie was bullied to oblivion.

A Mermaid Summer is, quite frankly, shit. It’s terrible. The animation is bad, the storytelling is bad, the voice acting is bad. It was, however, a passion project made by like 2 people on their own- people understand why it’s bad, and it’s not like we expected Oscar-worthy visuals.

Does this seem incredibly harsh to bully these two hardworking people? YES, it does! And it IS harsh and mean!

Understand that thousands of beautiful works (made meticulously and with great care) receive little to no attention in the domestic industry, made by equally small teams as A Mermaid Summer but with much higher quality.

The creators weren’t seasoned pros and definitely didn’t deserve to be bullied so much, but it would’ve honestly been much better if they had scrapped it. (They had actually considered starting over but decided to keep going, which I think wasn’t a good decision). 

Putting out a bad product is never better than taking your time, even if it takes you a lifetime.

I tell you about A Mermaid Summer to establish some baseline rules in the Chinese film industry and how Chinese people want films to be made (both animated and non-animated):

It does not matter how long it takes. The end product has to be good.

If the product is bad, NO MATTER how beloved the director/idea/IP/characters are, it’s going to flop.

In an animated movie: either the animation has to be great, or the plot has to be great. If you have one or the other, it’s meh. If you have both, yay! You cannot, however, get away with having both be mid.

If the product is bad, no one cares how much work you put in or how sad your circumstances are: there is going to be ZERO people complimenting or watching your work. Results speak, not effort.

Doesn’t this seem very strict? That’s because it is, but it’s the reality. Recently a movie came out based on the beloved novel series by Jin Yong, called Legend of the Condor Heroes. Condor Heroes is probably one of China’s biggest ever IPs. 

Its fans are everywhere. My parents love Jin Yong’s novels and so do 80% of China’s population. It’s as big as Harry Potter, basically, just for a different audience.

The actors in the movie are all popular too. Xiao Zhan, Leung Ka-fei, Ada Choi are all big-names.

However, Legend of the Condor Heroes completely flopped. The art direction and writing was bad and the acting was mid. The movie industry is not like the TV drama industry: if your movie is bad, NO ONE CARES if the actors are hot or if the IP is big, it will flop.

In this harsh environment, animated films especially struggle. We’ve seen a severe lack of good Chinese animated films. Is this critical culture to blame? Certainly part of the problem, but it’s also (somewhat sadly and ironically) what drives people to want to excel.

A very tough love solution. 

This is why it is especially shocking and especially impactful that Ne Zha 2 is doing so well.

Ne Zha 2’s director’s stage name is Jiaozi (which means dumpling). His real name is Yang Yu. I will call him Jiaozi, though. 

He graduated from med school in a fairly-prestigious university in Sichuan. Everyone knows how rigorous med school is. While he was studying, he spent every night holed up in his dorm figuring out the basics of animation. After graduation, he didn’t go to work- he spent three years living basically in his mother’s basement trying to make an animated film. 

A very, very classically doomed story. However, against all odds, he did it. He released a 16-minute animated short in 2008 called 打，打个大西瓜 (or See Through).

It’s available on YouTube and it has a total of 0 lines of dialogue. This short, however, went viral for its anti-war, anti-hate and anti-propaganda message. It won a lot of domestic and international awards. 

Through those three years he spent making See Through, he lived off his mother’s retirement fund of 200 dollars a month (1000 yuan), bought virtually nothing, and worked 14 hours a day.

See Through didn’t garner him instant success. After all, it was just an animated short. Within a year it wasn’t really mentioned anymore. He did, however, get his foot in the door.

Ne Zha is one of the biggest IPs in China. He has the most film/anime/comic/game adaptations after Sun Wukong (that’s including Dragon Ball and all the Dragon Ball spinoffs). 

Jiaozi basically made Ne Zha 1 on two cents and a dream. The movie was low-budget (I’m talking 22 million) and in interviews, he revealed he had no money to hire a motion capture expert or a voice acting coach, so he did all of this himself. He even voice-acted some of the characters to save on costs.

The entire cast was unknown VAs. The animation was done by newbies just entering the industry. This movie was the definition of cutting costs.

Against all odds, it succeeded. Ne Zha 1 won fans over with its humour, stellar character-building and refreshing message. It became the highest grossing film of that year and catapulted Jiaozi into fame. 

Almost as soon as Ne Zha 1 succeeded (within a year), Jiaozi began work on Ne Zha 2. 

If you compare pictures of Jiaozi before and after producing Ne Zha 2, you can notice he looks like he’s aged a lot more than 5 years.

Jiaozi has said he’s an extremely introverted person prone to anxiety, and that he’s a huge perfectionist to the point where it’s harmed both his professional and personal life.

He outsourced many of the more complicated scenes on Ne Zha 2 to top foreign production companies. You can see their names (Korean, Indian, Japanese, American etc) in the end credits of Ne Zha 2.

However, he said in an interview that because the project was coming from mainland China (which, as we’ve established, has a fairly weak animation industry), these foreign companies sent only their lowest-rate animators despite the high rates Jiaozi was paying them.

As such, Jiaozi had to redo most of these scenes from scratch with domestic groups.

Hundreds of animation studios in China joined to work on Ne Zha 2. Jiaozi invested almost all the money he made off the first movie back into the second one. These workers were young, passionate newcomers to the industry- they once again didn’t have the budget to hire seasoned pros despite the much looser spending constraints.

The studios that joined Jiaozi worked at low rates (sometimes not even breaking even on labour costs) to produce Ne Zha 2.

5 years later it happened. Ne Zha 2 is making an incredible amount of money. 

Most people are worried about the pressure the success of Ne Zha 2 is putting on Jiaozi- about a week ago he officially announced he’s stopping all interviews and publicity for Ne Zha 2 to go into “seclusion” to work on the 3rd movie, before 2 even finished airing. 

He’s been working extremely unhealthy hours for over a decade. However, the results have paid off. That’s all we can say, I guess.

The reason why many Chinese adore Ne Zha so much isn’t just because the movies are good- it’s because the movies are good enough that they basically became hope for the future of the domestic animation industry.

A *relatively* small company (not small anymore, considering how big they’re probably going to get in the future) managed to make 2 of the highest grossing films in Chinese history and one of the highest-grossing films of all time. Jiaozi has made more in box office sales with 2 full-length movies than most directors with over thirty or fourty.

It’s incredible that what seemed like such a doomed journey turned out so fantastically. Many young Chinese animators now dream of working with Jiaozi, or becoming like him.

Of course, Jiaozi isn’t perfect. He’s at the very least extremely talented, probably a “genius” (or however you define genius) and incredibly hardworking. 

His workers describe him as a nightmare director not because he’s rude but because he is incredibly nitpicky and has seemingly impossibly-high standards. He’s also a little bit of a douchebag (he made a short film called The Boss’s Woman that’s pretty misogynistic but it was never formally released). 

However. You can’t deny that Jiaozi has accomplished what decades of animators before him haven’t been able to. Ne Zha 2 is the greatest animated movie in history. That’s incredible for the Chinese animation industry, which before Ne Zha has never been able to get a stable footing.

Some other Chinese animated movies I recommend as well as some notes.

As a general rating marker: I rate 

Ne Zha 1: 7.5-8/10

Ne Zha 2: 9/10

The Shawshank Redemption: 9.5/10

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King: 9/10

Decide from these rankings whether or not you think my opinions on movies are valid and if you want to keep reading.

大鱼海棠 Big Fish and Begonia 2016

7.5/10

Co-produced with Korean animation studio

Very touching, very tear-jerking

Animation is beautiful

长安三万里 30,000 Miles from Chang’An 2023

6.5/10

Ehhhh?

It’s definitely touching but not for everyone

Not understandable for a wide audience: you’d need to know some basic Chinese history and culture

It’s okay

People either love it or hate it

西游记之大圣归来 The Journey to the West: Hero is Back 2015

7.5/10

The animation is just okay, but the story is great

Very hype

One of the first domestic animated movies whose release I actively followed

Without background of JTTW it’s not very good, but if you know you know.

新神榜：杨戬 New Gods Reborn: Yang Jian 2022

6/10

The animation is good: more precisely, the models are good

The storyline is kind of a mess

Much better than the other New Gods Reborn movie, which we don’t talk about

Worth a quick watch

白蛇缘起 White Snake 2019

6.5/10

Not bad, the storyline was meh

It got some hype abroad but it’s mid

Worth a watch but it’s way overrated

深海 Deep Sea 2023

7.5/10

The animation is beautiful and the story is good!

Worth a watch! I recommend it

Very dreamcore, floaty feeling

Gives you a sense of being not quite in our reality in a similar way as some Ghibli movies 

[theloganator101]

Etradio: Yeah, the Heaven/Hell conflict felt like it should’ve been stretched out through the seasons if that’s what they wanted. Although that viewpoint kinda nullifies the original premise of the show. “Can a sinner be redeemed and go to Heaven?” “Well, Heaven is actually super corrupt— so why go there?” It just feels like everything about the original goal was for nothing. Rather than address anything about the question of the show, they say the question doesn’t matter. I think since the series was in production for so long, and had a fanbase following it that knew the premise- the writers might’ve been worried that the show would be too ‘predictable’ and boring if they stuck to the original premise. So they felt the need to escalate to try to go beyond the expectations of the fans, but it resulted in a… I’m not sure how to describe it, but the plot is just doing whatever it wants. It’s hard to articulate my thoughts on this, but I hope that makes sense.

... Oh my fucking god.

This person literally highlighted the main problem with this show and why I've been feeling like the original premise was second fiddle.

And I think I know what their trying to say. It resulted in an entirely different show than what was promised to us, so in their efforts to not be predictable, they literally changed everything. Which that could also explain the rushed pacing, the rushed storylines...

It was not what was promised to us.

And the thing is unpredictability does not always equal good, what matters most is the journey getting to it and how it's executed. Even if a plot is predictable it can still tell a good story if the characters are likable and the world they live in is engaging enough for the viewers to get into it.

Hazbin Hotel does not have that sadly, as they think subverting expectations would be more than enough to keep viewers invested and wanting more even if it doesn't make sense or fit in the story.

[stardustdiiving]

Wanderer doesn’t hide the fact he likes Nahida

I totally get Wanderer being snarky is a funny punchline but sometimes I see Wanderer portrayed as being super snappy and mean in response to Nahida trying to be nice to him and I can’t help being like no!!!!!! He wouldn’t do that to her!! :(

Often people seem to think their dynamic is Wanderer being grouchy & mean & telling her to screw off all the time because he doesn’t want to admit he ~actually enjoys Nahida’s company~ but man like. Wanderer isn’t some edgy moody teenager that Nahida has to keep on a leash and scold regularly whenever he acts out—he’s a grown man who’s actually pretty emotionally perceptive/intelligent when he wants to be in my opinion—he’s just very blunt and cynical and often rude/harsh as a result

Wanderer hates sugarcoating his emotions & if him liking Nahida is majorly because he feels she’s proven it’s more or less safe to trust her, i don’t think he has any reason to hide the fact he genuinely respects her and as a result is regularly open about this when he interacts about her in canon. He may grumble about her requests or emotional earnesty because, well, it’s Wanderer, but imo if he were regularly snappy/mean to Nahida even in an “all-bark-no-bite” way we would’ve see them interact like that on screen already—but we don’t, and the fact that’s now how does treat her is a part of their dynamic I find very endearing and enjoy a lot—so I want to highlight it!

Like…look at how he talks to/about her even just going off of inversion of genesis alone:

I feel hes noticeably more cordial and cooperative with Nahida compared to say, Traveler & Paimon—he doesn’t try to intentionally provoke her for fun (or out of spite in the case of early IoG) the way he does with us/Traveler, both in Inversion of Genesis and Parade of Providence. He spends all of PoP intentionally trying to act suspicious/up to no good to mess with the Traveler & Paimon whenever we run into him—and then we get to the end of the event and find out Nahida just… asked him to monitor the event to make sure there wasn’t any trouble (+ wanted him to make friends LOL).

Like we literally see Nahida playfully tease him on screen and he doesn’t snap or get really grouchy with her…he just tolerates it like a mildly disgruntled cat

Which is…cute! I think it’s very endearing, especially when I don’t feel Nahida is usually playful like this unless she considers them an equal/friend—it feels like maybe she picks up on his energy a bit and adjusts her sense of humor/friendliness accordingly so it’s more intuitive/comfortable for both of them

Everyone jokes about Nahida dragging Wanderer into socializing and making friends right—which is true and something I think is very silly & fun, but again…while Wanderer may grumble about it I don’t think he’s actively mad or fighting with her about it even hyperbolically. Look at how he responds to Nahida telling him she wants to help him reach out to people in Parade of Providence:

This, combined with how he mentions feeling about Nahida not wanting him to isolate & be lonely in his birthday letter (“I can see that she was looking for a chance to make my life more fulfilling, but has she ever stopped to think about what an "experience" it is for others to meet me?”) gives me less an impression Wanderer is outwardly indignant and grouchy about Nahida trying to help him and more like…openly appreciative of the gesture but just doesn’t really think he’s worth the effort

I again think the specific way his responses to her trying to help him emotionally are always worded again show a distinct respect he has for Nahida as a person, and he seems genuinely grateful by the fact she gave him a second chance when, given how internally harsh Wanderer is about things and himself and how much he’s internalized expecting to be used or disregarded by others constantly unless he fights tooth and nail to not be, he probably didn’t expect any sort of grace at all post losing the gnosis, much less having someone seem to genuinely believe in him & want him to be happy/stable when he took said offered chance

I just think Wanderer is someone who cares a lot about being straightforward, especially about things that really move him emotionally, and think it’s really sweet he feels moved enough by Nahida’s encouragement & goodwill towards him to genuinely want to try with life. I get so sad when It seems like people think Wanderer is too like, emotionally immature or jaded to ever care to express how he feels about Nahida even in his own blunt, recovering nihilist way (when he explicitly does in canon IMO) and have him be snarky & grouchy to Nahida constantly, or believe he’d find her being good naturedly silly/childish annoying and scoff at her for it (people seem to think he hates children when he canonically does not and is quite fond of them!! I personally think some of that soft spot comes from finding childish earnestness + innocence kind of bittersweetly cathartic/comforting to see and would be something he’d actively like about Nahida!!) 😔

This is something I always try to portray in my own fanworks of them I just like it a lot, I want people to see the vision!!! Their relationship is very mutual on effort put in from both sides & Wanderer is more open about respecting Nahida than you may believe—which means he actively tries to acknowledge her kindness towards him and she doesn’t have to babysit him or drag him into cooperating with her all the time! And I find it very touching and sweet!

[pluckyredhead]

my life for the kon clark thoughts, i love hearing your takes on the superfam

Okay this bait wasn't QUITE as powerful but it still got the job done lol. Also I won't be talking about the YJ show as I only ever watched the first episode, sorry!

Anyway. The thing I want to talk about is Is Clark Kon's Dad Discourse, which honestly is less discourse so much as it is half of the fandom cheerfully writing Kon as Jon's big brother and the other half going "Ummm Clark and Kon are actually more like brothers as they have said many times in canon" (they have not). And more than that, the question of whether Clark is actually a good dad/brother/cousin/whatever the El he is to Kon (he is not). (Sorry Clark I still love you.)

Content warning: rape, both hypothetical and in-canon statutory, will be mentioned.

TL;DR: 1. Like Dinah and Roy, Clark and Kon have a complicated relationship that English doesn't have a word for, and to reduce it to "father and son" or "brothers" is doing a disservice to the interesting dynamic that actually exists, and 2. unlike Dinah, Clark does not come off well here, although it's important to take the Doyleist argument into account here as well as the Watsonian one.

Let's take the second thing first. There have been several times in canon that Clark has been presented with a teenage biological relative and gone "Well, I'm not going to take responsibility for that." (Three separate continuities with Kara, two with Kon, although to be fair in post-Crisis he did make a half-hearted effort with Kara.) Most infamously, when he first met his 15-year-old recently orphaned cousin Supergirl in 1959, he put her in an orphanage. There are two reasons for this, editorially:

DC doesn't want Superman tied down by a kid.

Equally if not more importantly, DC doesn't want the kid tied down by Superman.

It took 77 years for DC to give Clark permanent custody of child, when Jon was born. But also...DC designed both Kara and Kon to have their own adventures and eventually their own books. That's a lot harder to do if they're under the literal Super-vision of Clark. DC wanted these kids to be reasonably independent and autonomous, so it's hard to "blame" Clark for that when this is such a good example of how, uh...he's a fictional character and doesn't get to decide what he does.

But a Doyleist argument only goes so far if the writers don't bother to give Clark a good reason to behave in a certain way. So switching back to the Watsonian side of things: does Clark actually have a responsibility to Kon, and did he fail to meet it?

I have seen people argue that Clark doesn't have a responsibility to Kon, because he did not consent to having his DNA used to create him, and thus Clark is analogous to a rape victim being forced to care for the resulting baby. I understand the logic behind this argument but I don't think it's a fair one because, well, Clark wasn't raped, and it's inappropriate to say that he was. It's closer to someone stealing donated eggs or sperm from a clinic - not exactly like, since those are obviously donated consensually, but much closer. And regardless, we don't consider the donor responsible for the baby that results, so it's not like that analogy puts more onus on Clark.

However. I do think there is a difference between being responsible for a child in the sense of being obligated to raise that child, and being responsible for a child in the sense of making sure the child is okay. That holds true whether you are biologically related to the kid or not. If I see a small child running down the street without an obvious adult guardian, I will ask that child where their grownup is, because we live in a society and it's the right thing to do.

Obviously Kon was not a small child when he first appeared, although I don't think we should underestimate his naivete - he was physically and mentally 16, yes, but he had literally zero life experience. But while I don't think Clark had a responsibility to make up the guest room for Kon, I do think that he had a responsibility to make sure Kon was in a safe and healthy environment. Quite frankly, I think Clark had more of an obligation than an ordinary person, because he's Superman, and he's supposed to be the best of us. Ethics aside, it's out of character for him not to do the right thing.

And this is where things really fall apart, because for much of his original solo series, Kon was not, in fact, in a safe and healthy environment.

I'm not talking about crime fighting, or any danger or injuries that resulted from that, because it's just a function of the genre. Kon would have nearly died from clone plague whether he was superheroing or not. I'm talking about:

The fact that one of the adults in a position of semi-responsibility for Kon was Rex Leech, a man who very clearly intended to financially exploit Kon as much as he possibly could, and pimped out his own daughter to get Kon to sign with him.

(The other adult responsible for Kon was Dubbilex and he has never done anything wrong, ever, in his life. <3 u Dubbilex.)

Kon's long-running relationship with an ADULT WOMAN, Tana Moon, which was so sketchy that all of her coworkers were like "Ummmmmm what's up with you dating a 16-year-old?" but literally no one ever intervened on Kon's behalf.

The Knockout storyline, in which it's heavily implied that their relationship was sexual, making it very much statutory rape, and to which Kon has a pretty clear trauma response afterwards.

The fact that no one except that one poor truant officer is making this kid go to school.

Pretty consistent housing insecurity (Kon only has housing at Cadmus and later in that one building where he's the super because he works there, which...he's a minor).

This is quibbling because it never (to my recollection) comes up in the comics, but what is Kon's legal status? Is he property of Cadmus? Is he a person, as far as the government is concerned? Does he have a social security number, citizenship status, legal rights? I'm guessing no because he literally doesn't even have a name until Clark gets around to giving him one *checks notes* six years after they first meet.

I want to talk about that issue because it's extremely important to me: Superboy #59 (1994 series). Clark shows up and takes Kon to the Fortress for the first time:

Look at Kon's first speech balloon. Not only does he not know that Superman is Clark, he doesn't know that Superman is Kal-El, and he had no idea either possibility existed. He knows absolutely nothing about Superman, and he's completely severed from his own Kryptonian heritage. Clark has given him nothing.

Until now.

According to this timeline, the original Kon-El was a Kryptonian who was adopted into the El family. Also, the Supergirl they're talking about isn't Kryptonian, which is why Kon implies that she isn't automatically entitled to the S-shield but is granted permission by Clark.

I'm fascinated by the different ways Clark and Kon view family here: Kon, whose life has only ever consisted of being a superhero, sees being part of the family as...branding, basically. It's Clark who sees it as having to do with who they are as people. (Yes, Clark is being weird and cold here in the art - he was going through some shit in the Superbooks, don't worry about it.)

MY HEART IS GOING TO BURST. YOU HAVE A NAME, BABY. YES YOU DO.

But, like...as lovely a moment as this is, it's also a pretty dire indictment of Clark. Having a name means so much to Kon that he weeps - and is such a fundamental part of being a person - and you only got around to it now??? And fine, maybe it wasn't Clark's responsibility...but it should have been someone's.

The other specific comic I want to talk about is very different tonally: Superman #155 (1987 series), in which Kon shows up at the Kents' house for dinner, and Clark is a giant pissy baby about it:

For context, Kon still doesn't know Clark's secret ID, and this is several years before he moves to Smallville. He says he stopped by for dinner because he met the Kents "a few months back" and they invited him to visit anytime because he "reminded them of their son" - but actually that was six years ago, which just kind of goes to show you how fundamentally deprived of family and human connection this boy is, that he would remember and take them up on this offer after so long.

Orrrr maybe he's just doing some detective work, because Clark is sure Kon is there because he's figured out Clark is Superman, and sure enough, Kon does drop a few heavy hints that are juuust this side of plausible deniability. Either way, Clark spends the entire issue being a pissy, bratty child about it:

LITERALLY HE GOES INTO HIS ROOM AND TELLS KON TO STOP TOUCHING HIS STUFF. Big only child energy. (He also, notably, does not know the name of Young Justice. Dude is FULLY checked out of Kon's life.)

Anyway, Pa is finally like "Listen, if you trust him enough to let him be Superboy, don't you trust him enough to tell him the truth?" and Clark's like "But being Clark is my private, personal life, and I don't want to share it with too many people," and Pa's like "HE IS A CHILD WITH NO PARENTS CAN YOU PLEASE GET A GRIP."

Clark realizes he's being an asshole, and though he doesn't come right out and confess, he does relent enough to teach Kon how to milk a cow:

Yes, the metaphor here is that Kon is trying to milk Clark's secrets out of him, complete with the, um, imagery in that first panel. Anyway, I'm not sure if there's actually an issue where Clark explicitly tells Kon that he's Superman, but this issue ends on a note that makes it pretty clear that Kon knows, and that Clark knows he knows, and that Kon knows he knows he knows, so. (It's obviously explicit by 2003 when Clark makes Kon move in with the Kents.)

Anyway, I love this issue because Clark is allowed to be 100%, undeniably, unequivocally wrong. He is being petty and jealous and immature...and human. His behavior here is totally understandable and relatable, even when he's being a brat - and because he's called out on it, he's allowed to improve.

And that, I think, is what we're missing in the Clark and Kon dynamic. Though there are external narrative reasons for it, Clark's neglect of Kon is, in the gentlest possible terms, Not A Good Look.

(Also not a good look: barging into Kon's life in 2003 after paying zero attention to him for years and forcing him to live in a town he hates wearing glasses he also hates. Did Clark tell Kon he would be honored if he would also accept the name "Conner Kent?" Was he given a choice at all? YOU'RE OVERCORRECTING, CLARK. And then he just totally bails again and makes his elderly parents do all the actual work of parenting! There is a super (ha) telling line in Supergirl (2005 series) where she asks Ma why Clark didn't ever have her (Kara) live with the Kents, and like...why does Clark get to decide who Jonathan and Martha have in their house? WEIRD.)

Again, I'm not saying Clark needed to adopt Kon, but I do think that he bore some kind of responsibility to at least make sure he was well taken care of and to check in regularly - and it would have felt more in character. But he didn't...and because that looks bad, it has gone almost completely unacknowledged for 32 years except for Superman #155 and that bit in Superboy: The Man of Tomorrow where Kelex calls Clark out on not noticing Kon was missing for two weeks.

Because if the comics admitted that Clark wasn't stepping up to the plate, they could also tell us why. Clark's reasoning in Superman #155 is not actually a sufficient reason, but it's completely understandable and makes us sympathize with him. My personal headcanon is that immediately upon meeting Kon, Clark was recovering from the profound trauma of, you know, dying and being resurrected, something that goes largely unaddressed in the comics. I would absolutely buy that he didn't have the mental or emotional capacity to deal with "oh a lab cloned a replacement of me which they activated because I died and now the clone wants to hang out." I would even buy that the longer he didn't involve himself in Kon's life, the guiltier he felt, and the more he thought he might be unwelcome for not doing so sooner. But none of that is actually canon, because again, the comics pretty much completely ignore Clark's failure here...and that makes it look so much worse, because it looks like he just doesn't care.

Finally, to address the question of what to call their relationship: arguably Clark and Lex are Kon's biological parents, which yes, is very funny, but also the terms we use for clone relationships tend to be very driven by how old the clone is rather than a donor/donee relationship. Like, I might say Kon is kind of Clark's kid...but I would never say that Match is Kon's kid, because Match and Kon are approximately the same age, which goes to show how much these terms come from appearances rather than biological relationships.

Instead, I'd rather look at how they refer to each other, like I did with Dinah and Roy. This post is already insanely long so I'm not going to dig through three decades of comics for the relevant panels, but trust me when I say that especially in the 90s, it was a running bit that people would assume Superman was Kon's father and he would say "He's not my dad." He is very, very consistent about that, and always in this sort of awkward, uncomfortable way rather than a rebellious one. (My baby, let me hug you.)

You could argue that their dynamic is more "brothers with a large age gap," since they were (eventually) raised by the same parents - Kon calls Martha and Jonathan "Ma and Pa," not "Grandma and Grandpa." They do occasionally fall into something that feels like those roles - see Superman #155 above, and really any time they are talking about the Kents. But they also aren't close, by any definition, which is certainly possible with siblings, but it doesn't feel like a lived-in dynamic to me. When Clark used it at the end of Superboy: The Man of Tomorrow, it felt very jarring and unearned, and I can't think of a single other time either one has used the word to refer to the other. (If I'm wrong, please let me know! I'd be fascinated to see other examples.)

Finally there's Superboy #59, where Clark chooses to name Kon after an adoptive cousin he never met. Which, not to make a joke of it, but feels much more like how Clark actually feels about Kon. And certainly "cousin" is a term Clark is comfortable extending to the rest of the Superfamily: Kara is obviously his first cousin, but he used it for Matrix and Linda Danvers (not related to him or even Kryptonian), and it covers a wide range of alternate universes/clones/Daxamites/look it's complicated.

Ultimately, Clark and Kon don't really have a familial term they use for each other on any kind of consistent basis, but if I had to pick one, I think "cousin" would be the one they would both feel comfortable using - and I think Kon would also happily apply it to Kara and Jon, too. (Although I did once read a fic where Jon refers to Kon as his "bruncle" and every day that is not canon is another crime against humanity.)

IN CONCLUSION:

They aren't father and son.

They aren't really brothers, either.

But it would be very funny if Kon started calling Lex "Pops."

If you are going to have a character who is supposed to be a paragon of virtue act like kind of a dick, you should acknowledge it in the comic so that he can maybe improve his behavior a little or at least explain it.

Kon's bad at milking.

THE END.

[xxbrightshadowxx]

TF One Shatter Glass Au

Kay so I’ve heard about Shatter Glass before in transformers which is basically of the autobots were evil and decepticons were good(I think? I’m not sure. in the words of my cousin I’m still new to transformers) so I decided to come up with an au for Tfone for it.

Everything would start out the same, everything from the movie would play out, until the attack at the High Guard’s base. Instead of Bee and D-16 being captured it’s Elita and Orion.

D-16 is crushed and is ready to give everything up, he snaps at Bee and laminates that they are doomed and ask how can he do optimistic and naive when he was in a crappier position than he was beforehand. They argue for a while till D-16 kinda admits he’s jealous of orion for being so optimistic and kind even during horrible times. Bee helps him out and shows him to always look for good and tells him this is a chance to improve their lives.(kinda effy on this part)

With the power of persuasion aka, D-16 cannons, they convince the high guard to help them go rescue the others

Meanwhile back at Sentinel’s tower Orion thinks D-16 is dead and is depressed, the evidence is destroyed and he feels like crap. Sentinel mocks them like on the film, and Elita bites back at him which results in Sentinel berating Elita and nearly hurting her till Orion intervenes. Sentinel, tired of Orion being mouthy, takes the( I think it was a drill or a torch?? Can’t remember the name.) and uses it to scratch up his mouth. Orion’s optics turn to yellow

Basically similar thing happens, D-16 gets the miners to help(though is more threatening and uses the high guard to convince them) he freaks out when he sees injured Orion and the same thing happens in the movie except when D tries to shoot Sentinel Orion convinced him not to and D’s optics turn blue. While they walk away, Sentinel tries to stab Orion but D pushes him out of the way and gets stabbed. D and Orion tries to catch him but fails and falls into the well.

Orion turns around and his optics are a bright red and he kills Sentinel, less graphic than D-16 does in the film, a simple execution shot to the head. Meanwhile D-16 is, you guess it, is given the matrix for choosing good even in his darkest moments and sacrificing his life for him.

Orion steal Sentinel’s t cog and changes his designation to Optimus Prime, claiming himself the new ruler. His speech is able to convince several others including Elita, Bee, and several other miners that the only way to become equal they must steal their t cogs back from the ones that ‘wronged them.’ So attack the ones already with t cogs and steal them for their selves.

Megatron comes back and is horrified at what Orion has become but Op knows that’s he’s crossed a line he can’t go back and they fight. Megs wins but can’t kill his friend leaving him to leave. The miners feel in a way betrayed since Megatron told them he could change their future but he wants to keep the bots with t cogs alive. Basically saying he ‘deceptive’ them.(get it?)

The miners, Elita, Bee, and Op leave leaving some miners behind, the high guard, and Megatron behind.

In this au, while good, Megatron is still a bit violent and the decepticons methods are still a bit violent but they do want peace and equality. Most of his journey would be becoming a better leader for his team and for Cybertron. Starscream would still try to surprise him because, yes.

Meanwhile Op is kinda manipulative in this au. He uses his kindness to trick and gain bots trust to make them do whatever he wants. Op wants equality but his ideas to achieve it is fucked up and twisted. Elita, after realizing her entire life and all her effort was for nothing also sorta crashes out and is fully on board with OP’s plan. After Meg’s ‘death’ and seeing his two friends actively prompt their idea of rebuilding Cybertron, Bee kinda goes along with them. He is not as bad or evil as Elita and Op in this au so his optics are either yellow or orange. He’s like the thundercracker of this au.

I might write a fic about this one day. If I do, I’ll post a link here if anyone thinks this is an ok idea?

[purble-turble]

i can 100% see Nezha and mk's relationship (regardless if it's platonic or romantic) being equally beneficial and detrimental. like there so much they could help each other with but also subconsciously cause serious problematic habits/ thought processes/ coping mechanisums for each other and themselves the biggest thing my brain latched onto was how MK could become Nezha's first truly safe space.

Nezha going what i know and understand about his lore and what we can glean from the little we know in the show's canon, definitely has it rough in the celestial realm. he had a very troubled childhood and is clearly haunted by his past and is being defined by it despite his efforts to grow and prove that he's better now. he can command respect for his strength and power but people still question him as a person, always waiting for him to slip up. what relationships he does have he probably doesn't feel fully safe expressing his real self and thoughts because it poses potential risks. then mk comes into the picture. Nezha's given him a safe place to talk openly and he'd want to offer the same to the prince. even if he can't help directly he knows just having someone to vent to can help. its small stuff at first, little complaints here and there about work and the celestial realm, but slowly nezha starts to open up about more personal stuff. stuff with his family, with other celestials, and about his past. and to his amazement and relief is met with only empathy and understanding from mk, even after learning about the darker stuff MK never judges him. Nezha doesn't have to mask anything about himself around mk, infact he's being encouraged to relax and just be his natural self around him. he's truly safe when its just him and mk, that feeling has to be euphoric for the poor guy used to being on guard constantly even around the people he loves.

but of course, could easily lead to a mutually unhealthy co-dependency. nezha's already been isolated to some degree having never had much of a positive support structure, and mk's slowly isolating himself away from his established support structure. resulting in an echo chamber of two very well-meaning but very mentally ill people.

(i'm so sorry this turned into a short essay I've been waiting three hours to get of shift so i can spill my brains out about this. i have more but I'm going to end it here in fear that i'm being a bit much about these two)

Noo don’t worry about this being long, I absolutely love it!!

You’re so right, Nezha and MK are at the same time a good counterbalance for each other while also being accidentally self-destructive. MK is a chaotic lil gremlin who follows his emotions and worries about consequences later and Nezha (in LMK at least) seems to be trying very hard to come at things logically and approach from a more grounded, duty-based perspective. They both could use a splash of the other’s energy in that manner, so in that way it’s for sure a good thing that they’re getting closer.

Problem is, like you said, these boys are sooooo mentally ill 😂 The feeling that they need to constantly be proving themselves, giving a little more away every time, pushing their own boundaries and suffering in silence because it’s what someone else needs- these are things they might accidentally end up encouraging in each other…. Actually, probably not even accidentally. They see the other working crazy hard and being run ragged physically and probably emotionally too, and they’re like “I am SO proud of you for sacrificing so much!” ..and both of them have never felt so seen as when the other says that to them. It’s validating their worst impulses to just keep going and giving because their own feelings about it are less important than everyone else’s.

Also, the fact that they feel like they can expect to get that praise when they admit to being stressed might even make them be more open about it. Only with each other, though… if they were to mention feeling overworked or burdened to their families, they know already that they would not get the response they were looking for.. but again, even if it means they’re being more open, it’s still not a super good thing that it’s reinforcing destructive behavior. :U

[makingspiritualityreal]

I had an interesting conversation with my friend recently and she claims my observations were valuable and should be shared with others.

The context of the conversation was from a phenomenon that we can see on social media recently that criticizes “nice people” and says that “they don’t get what they want” while “bad people get their way”. I have seen many pseudo spiritual teachers preach something similar, but all that it does is preys on people’s anger and resentment and has nothing to do with truly figuring out the vibration of the Universe.

The Universe responds to the frequency of our true intentions and is aware of the truth in all situations, thus it can’t be tricked. And from that comes a very important realization, that being “nice” is not equal to being good.

The other important truth is that this Universe operates within a certain harmony and is not kept forever “out of check”. Thus, it is impossible to infinitely commit destructive actions with no reaction from our environment.

Most people are nice habitually, but it is an action directed at social adherence, devoid of depth of feeling. How many of us can really say that they wake up with a genuine feeling of goodness in their hearts every day, even in difficult situations? It is not only impossible, it is not required of us. If we polled a “vibrational” monthly average there are people out there with foundational goodness of character, but sadly so few of them compared to those who are simply superficially nice. And for those who radiate genuine goodness, it always ultimately comes back in some form. Those who are only “nice” on the surface but sulk about how bad life is to them are dishonest about the true motivations of their character.

The discernment about people called “bad” is necessary, because very few human beings are genuinely bad people. People are complex and have different aspects to their personality. Someone can be a very successful worker and make a lot of money but treat people in their personal life poorly, and their life will ultimately reflect that. This is the problem with the perception of “bad” behaviors - their seeming victories are short lived. You will see that while up until a certain age these kind of people have enough energy to keep repeating their mistakes, they never gain any long term payoff from their bad behavior.

To show you an example, this is the reason why totalitarian leaders ultimately fail and face opposition, because while they power they way through short term victories, they don’t achieve long term respect, as it would require a certain integrity, so the opposition they attract makes them fail.

Genuine goodness is something very fragile, hard to build and easy to shatter. It requires effort and self discipline, yet gives unique results. It is irrational to say that people who don’t work on themselves at all will get the same results as people who refine their character on a regular basis.

If you need an example to put this in perspective, think of a relationship you have with someone, that is bound by negative attachment. Most of us are born with certain difficult karmas, so we go through at least one such experience in this lifetime. You may be temporarily bound to them, you may be afraid or unable to escape them, but if someone has not been good to you, they have shattered your genuine love for them a long time ago. Love and attachment is not the same, and once good feelings between people are destroyed, you can’t really manipulate your way out of it, as deep inside a person’s heart something is irrevocably changed.

That’s why goodness and trust is so rare and so precious. Because, unlike what the modern media tries to tell us, there is really no cheat code to bypass the truth and the effort required to create something genuine. Being good is not about weakness, it’s about hard work, and few people really achieve it.

[stitch-away]

ranking of veteran pedritos

aka: bored politics major yaps about US imperialism for a bit

preface: this from the perspective of a poc outside of the US and it's just my personal opinion, feel free to disagree, idm. also idc if you like a movie or character i critique, you can enjoy media that isn't perfect!

zach wellison - brothers & sisters

first of all he's my baby and i love him, but anyways. despite how short zach’s appearance is on brothers & sisters, i believe he had a very good portrayal of how US government treats veterans and the realities that face veterans when they return home.

zach is portrayed as hostile, defensive, and angry, however he is never demonised for these traits. the show makes it obvious that his hostile behaviour is a result of his poor living conditions (houselessness) and his trauma from serving in the military. it shows that his conditions are not his fault, but the fault of a government that used him for imperialist efforts and then discarded him without a second thought.

his problems are largely resolved by the end of the second episode, and although this isn’t realistic, it makes sense through the style of the show– short 40 minute episodes with self contained stories that move the broader development of the main characters along. so that’s not really a critique.

it shows zach’s mental health rapidly improving once he’s given a stable home and job. it dismantles preconceived notions of houseless people as “lazy” by showing zach’s enthusiasm when he is finally given the opportunity for work.

it doesn’t show zach having a ptsd episode, but it shows him coming to terms with the fact that he does suffer from ptsd and showing empathy for justin, a fellow vet that has ptsd.

for the limited screen time zach has, the show does an amazing job working to understand the plight of many veterans and doesn’t fall into the trap of demonising houseless people or people with mental illness. 9/10

2. dave york - the equalizer 2

the portrayal of dave’s struggles with ptsd, suicide, and the neglect from the US government are commendable aspects of his portrayal. it shows the very real struggles that veterans face when the come back home; system that does not set up veterans with stable jobs, sufficient mental and physical healthcare, and neglects to help the high rate veteran suicide.

it shows that dave getting a stable job and starting a family helped his mental health improve, but it makes it clear that this did not “fix” dave. the movie shows dave as a man disillusioned by the US government, turning to hit man work, using his position in the CIA to aid it. i don’t think this a bad concept by any means. disillusionment with the US government is not uncommon or unreasonable for a veteran. his comment that his hit man work is identical to what he did in the army, kill names on a list, i think, exemplifies the crude and callous nature of US imperialism. morally, it is comparable to being a hit man.

i may be wrong, but i believe dave’s work is independent hit man work, he gets paid to do it but he doesn’t work for anyone. i think this shows the dark route, however extreme, that disillusionment and neglect from the US government can push veterans. for example, pushing them into far right anti-government movements that pray on the vulnerability and trauma of people like veterans.

i wouldn’t say that this portrayal demonises veterans in any way, purely because robert mccall, a fellow veteran who was friends with dave, is portrayed in a positive light so the veteran portrayal isn’t solely negative. i would comment on the fact that all veterans in the movie are hit men of some description but due to it’s nature as an action movie, it’s excusable.

the point of the movie is to have cool action sequences whilst telling the story of how trauma shapes a person, and i think it did a very good job in that respect. i feel like the movie still falls into pro-america bullshit because that’s inherent to movies in this vein, but overall i think it’s pretty good. 8/10

3. frankie morales - triple frontier

triple frontier as a whole movie feels like having an aneurysm every 10 minutes. i feel like frankie’s character was severely under developed so i don’t have much to say about him honestly, mainly just the movie generally. if anything, his character is more passively complicit than anything due to his limited screen time.

despite the portrayal of all of the veteran characters as people suffering from the neglect of the US government, it finds it’s pitfalls in the framing of the movie.

time and again, violence against people of colour are brushed off and or justified. the moral hitter at the end of the movie is tom’s death, not the multiple of peruvian people the men murdered and injured in their selfish pursuits. tom is reverred in the movie despite the violence he inflicted on innocent peruvians. the one non-american/non-main latino character that was given proper screen time was a woman pope was sleeping with, reducing her, in every sense, to something to be used by the main men.

if the men were not portrayed as the good guys or heroes of the movie and their callous violence towards people of colour was actually portrayed as a wrong, then it could have the effect of the equalizer 2; showing how neglect and trauma can push someone to do bad things. instead it condones or just ignores the men’s actions for the sake of portraying them positively.

frankie’s character engages in the previously described violence, first out of loyalty to his friends and then later out of pure callousness from the stress of the events that had taken place.

despite the acknowledgment of veteran trauma, the movie reinforces the imperialist violence that the US military and government perpetuate. 3/10

[rat-rambles]

I am not waiting for the results of my own poll look at my fan kids (yes there twins).

The one with 1 eye is Star and 2 is Sphinx

So I guess this this is a full sail Au at this point so let me explain.

So basically Ford got Bill pregnant befor going though the portal and no one realized till after Ford had gone though the portal and they where defintly enemy's. This did result in Bill raising the kids till weridmagon despite Bill trying to parent trap Ford and ford trying to (kiddnap) liberate them.

Pregnant how I hear you say. Well scence in the dreamscape ideas become reality and Bill also is a idea they both basically thought of haveing kids at the same time while doing the deed and Bill's subconscious did the rest. Don't worry about the finer details it's not important.

Why baby's both human shape. Well human is dominated but. Actually Bill's subconscious has a presence for the human traits becuse he resents his triangle heritage. Both the baby's have triangle features though.

Becuse of time fuckery of realms despite it haveing been 30 years on earth the kids are 12/13 just like dipper and Mable when weridmagon happends. After weridmagon Ford and Stan take them in.

Both the kids defaulted to they/them pronouns becuse when Bill was asked about what gender the kids where he gave a "I don't know anything about human gender they'll figure it out when there older.".

Now for spefics

Star: they take more after Bill. There more magical inclined. They prefer to float and change shape at will.

There clearly the favorite even though Bill *trys* not to show it.

Despite this there the more squish one bills little pranks have made them cry on multiple occasions puting Bill in a awkward position.

Is the smart sibling despite the goofy disposition

Sphinx: is constantly compared to Ford and dipper despite Bill's best efforts.

Becuse of the constantly comparison to Ford they both want to meet him desperately and prove that there there own person equally desperately.

There not as good as puzzles as there name would sujest. It makes them deeply insure but they refuse to show it.

Grows out hair to look more like Bill in hopes of gaining his approval.

Ironically feels outcast by the nightmare realm becuse of being "to normal" despite best efforts to match there freak.

There very protective of Star becuse of Stars scentive nature. Sphinx knows Star is used to constant praise and when the drip stops Sphinxs worries about Stars ego.

Bill does love the kids as fearcly as he can but that alone dosnt make a good parent. He is very busy and stressed but is trying. He keeps them far form any compat he sees comeing and insist they wear the bill necklace so he can always see where they are incase of porably Ford based kidnappings.

[unreone]

Assorted Gnarly and Grim headcanons based on Me and Mel's ponytown rps

"Hell, I'd watch the world burn with him if its warmth makes him happy"

~ Gnarlie talking about Grim

- Grim and Gnarly met through Omegle with the topic about being dark comedy-

- Grim and Gnarly are the results of being undiagnosed mentally ill individuals living in a non-accomodating, hostile world, left to their own accord and the only positive engagement they received are from doomer types of people regurgitating nihilistic harmful takes, it's not even funny it's stomach-churning.

- Grim is just Pim but received 10x more backlash and humiliation by the world because he have more difficult personality traits. Pim does not seem to be suffering because he is good at masking. Reading about the client reviews of Smiling Friends online makes him bitter and made Pim his personal rival (derived from the line "Smiling Friends, we finally met at last"). Despite not knowing him personally, he is intent on showing his so called truth. (Grim to Pim is Trixie to Twilight Sparkle to me ARE Y'ALL SEEING THE VISION???)

- Gnarly is just Charlie but apathetic and the self-serving tendencies is heightened. Constantly observed disappointments whenever he tries to do something proactive. He associated trying equals to useless effort. The only time he does not regret stepping up to something is when he calls out and threathens to hurt the people that was beating up Grim.

- Grim dropped out of school at that one messiest day where the bullying and beatings he take is just taken too far. Gnarlie was there on time, from the fact they agreed they'll finally meet up physically that day.

- Gnarly is a facts hoarder, even way before Frowning Friends is established. He knows so many niche scientific and environmental facts, both the uplifting and disappointing ones.

- Grim wants to write his name into the history as someone like a revolutionary figure. But like, he doesnt see any other way than Frowning Friends because the only thing he thinks he is good at is disappointing and making people frown.

- Gnarly is a Reddit lurker and Grim is a 4Chan frequenter. Both are enjoyers of Newgrounds.

- Gnarly is unabashedly romantic and literate whenever he have the opportunity to to Grim. Inversely that, his insults are really well thought out and directly targeted against other people whenever he claps back.

- Grim is so lacking at verbal affirmations outside of Gnarlie. From that he assumes he's never going to amount to anything that of worth and the pain of that (terribly false) association makes him want other people to not experience the hurt and so pioneers Frowning Friends under the guise of telling the truth, when what is it really is unnecessary negativity that propagates the echo chamber of stagnation. That's not any better.

- Watch him crumble actually when he received the barest minimum of compliment from Mr. Boss. That moment does not just show Mr. M's skill of being a great Smiling Friend worker, it is a signifier that Grim is just a misdirected soul who does need positive reinforcement and better circle of mindset to surround himself with.

- Grim will have his dick guillotined online if he ever admits he actually hates being negative and edgy and actually seeks for something wholesome (hehe Create Unknown podcast with Michael and Zach reference)

- On that same vein of thought, Grim could not for the life of him stomach liveleak videos. It's only Gnarly who like watches it (mostly through the r/50-50 he does not actively seeks it). Grim is even queasy from any audios similar to it that's why Gnarlie only does his browsing when he's on his own.

- Gnarly and Grim only found solace and solidarity through each other the way the two exchanges vents and affirmations nightly. They have attempted to connect with any other people only to receive ineffective, unhelpful responses that does not reciprocate any weight. They are heavily flawed individuals that can see each other's scars with no judgements.

[agerefandomstuff]

little Carm from the bear??

Little Tantrums from a Little Bear

Part One

Word Count: 4,600ish

Description: Carmy is having his daily kitchen meltdown but today’s seems to be more intense than usual. After a small back and forth, Richie is elected caregiver for the day and does so in true chaotic older “cousin” fashion.

Warnings: cursing, yelling, bickering, playful fighting, slightly unplayful fighting that doesn’t result in any harm, Carmy’s bad thoughts, mentions of smoking but no smoking scene, Richie being dumb but loved, Carmy being dumb but loved, tickling, general feel goodness <3

A/N: I watched the full show just to write this and I blame you for giving me a new minor hyperfixation. (thank you. I love this messy group so much.)

The AO3 link <3

“Where the fuck did you put the goddamn asparagus, cousin?!” 

Carmy is really frustrated and having an explosive time again. It’s been going on for the last hour nonstop and the tension had only gotten worse, the heat rising in his attitude to the point Sydney was pretty sure this would be the day they’d all get to witness one of his blood vessels actually burst. 

But sometimes this happened. They knew this happened. They’ve all had their moments and usually he just needed to get all that build up out with an explosive argument and yelling. then he’d calm down again, realize he had been being an over dramatic asshole, apologize, and things would go on. 

But once the third hour mark hit for this blow up and Richie had run out of ways to argue back, shocking even him, they started giving each other looks behind his back. Each one silently begging the other to brave up and do the thing. 

Sugar looked at Sydney first hoping she would be able to step in by using her equals.. chef.. status to convince him to stop screaming over various poor vegetables for looking at him wrong or whatever his anger had focused on by then. 

Sydney glanced at Tina for back up, both of them shaking their heads. Not today. It wasn’t their turn. Neither one of them thought they could combat how aggressive he’d gotten today. It was like a new red hot rage level for him. (Stitch reference goes here hehe.)

Sugar looked around the room for someone else but everyone was very pointedly keeping their heads down to focus on their work in an effort to not poke the Bear anymore. 

Getting desperate now she looked to Richie with that defeated but still hopeful pleading look to which Rich instantly attempted to shut down. “Oh no. You ain’t gonna pin this one on me! I’ve been arguing with that self centered pretentious fuck. There ain’t any getting through to him today!“ he threw his towel a little too forcefully over his shoulder, making an aggressive snap noise. He shook his finger at her as he continued his little rant while Carmy’s yelling and throwing items tried to drown him out. “Nope. If you want this one fixed you're gonna have to do it yourself.”

“Please Rich? Please? He's not listening to me. And you know what he needs.”

He hated how those puppy eyes made him cave. He wasn’t a weak man—! But… any look from a little sister begging for help like that could break even the strongest. 

“Fuck! Okay! Fine. Fuck you.” He grumbles as he stomps to the lockers in the back, making sure there was a clear amount of frustration and aggravation in his walk so she knew he wasn’t happy with this. 

“I love you…?” She calls after him feeling guilty but.. not THAT guilty

“I love you too. Bitch.” He shoots back his voice much more faint as he came into the other room. Unlocking Carmy’s locker was easy, Richie had permanently borrowed the combo after he found it in the office’s desk drawer that he totally hadn’t been snooping through to find something else. 

He doesn't bother to be quiet as he opens the door letting the metal clang about as much as it wanted since it would be a miracle if Carmy could hear it after busting his eardrums and everyone else’s. He gives the contents a once over to see if he could find the items he was looking for first without causing a mess of the obsessively neatly placed personal items that rested inside. 

“What have I said about 45 degree angles on the pans people?!” Carmy's voice rang out, not waiting even a second for his chefs to respond before throwing a pan full of charred food on the floor. “It’s quicker and safer!! Its less likely to get caught on everyone’s stupid fucking brains that hang out of your asses that can’t remeber basic kitchen etiquette!! Refire the–”

Christ. Richie’s patience was beyond worn out listening to him be a damn nutjob. Fuck Cousin’s tidiness. Fuck the screaming. And fuck him for being the dumbass who has to placate the menace. 

He shot a hand into the locker, grabbing things and shaking them open in hopes he would find the comfort items wrapped up or hidden inside something. With each thing that came out empty he was left with a pile of jackets and uniforms on the floor along with some loose change that he would not be cleaning up later. 

Only place left to look was Sugar’s locker right? Because of course the kid couldn't keep his supplies in his own locker. No he had to hide him in mom’s. 

Well lucky for her it was easy to spot the cutesy regression bag she’d bought him hanging on the right hook. Although he still had half a mind to get her back for this whole thing by messing up her locker just a teeny bit too… However, he didn't have the time. It sounded like he was yelling at Fak now and it was only a matter of time before he made the sap cry. Then they'd have two babies on their hands. 

So Richie dug through the honestly embarrassing bag–with this kind of decoration maybe he could understand why adult Carmy didn't want it displayed  in his own locker, he thought as he pulled out the prized item he’d been searching for.

The pacifier.

Soother.

The dummy for the dummy.

Whatever you called it. He called it their potential savior. 

He was actually the one who bought it for Carmy, mainly as a joke to tease him about being a baby, and a loud one at that. hence the reason it said the “mute button” on it. But the kid actually ended up using it a couple weeks after the initial teasing from him had worn down, saying he’d been using it at home when he was cooking and couldn't leave the kitchen just to go have a smoke or he’d run out of his nasty gum. 

Apparently since he started using it his weekly packs had been cut in half, only down to what their family would probably call ‘occasional’ to help stave off the shakes while non-smokers would still call it ‘an issue.’

He got a couple looks from the other chefs when he brought it to work, mainly keeping it in his mouth when he was doing prep. But it became a problem when he dropped it in some soup pots after trying to talk with it in, causing the whole dish to be remade.

Sugar brought in a pacifier clip the next week which ended in a fight that seemed inevitable to everyone who knew her and her desire to fix people.

Although… Carmy did end up using it as well after the fight settled down just…. without addressing it and only occasionally when he was filled with the type of stress a pack of Sapphire cigarettes would usually really help him with.

Taking the pacifier, which Richie decided was much less cringe than the backpack, into the kitchen, Richie stalked over to Carmy with fake calmness and a clear mission. Fak’s misty deer in headlights gaze peeked over the chef berating him, looking like he was just as shocked to see Richie there as he was to be at the receiving end of the semi-regular infamous Berzattos’ breakdown.

Richie gives Sugar a brief dirty look with an eye roll to seem like he was over his voluntold task already before suddenly reaching out and wrapping both his arms around Carmy’s neck like he was going to put him in a choke hold. Which he very well might since he deserved it!

“What the fuck are you– cousin! Get the hell off! Get OFF! This isnt fucking funny we’re crashing and burning while knee deep in shit– this isnt a time to–” Carmy yelled grabbing onto Richie’s arms in an attempt to pry them off of him but the bastard had a practicaly put him in a headlock–the same kind Mikey would put him in when they would wrestle as kids. If he wasn't filled with such white hot rage he might’ve wondered if that's who Richie learned it from.

“Shut up! Shut the hell up! I'm helping!”

“The hell do you mean helping?!?! This isn't helping! THIS ISN’T–”

“Yes it is! Just open your mouth! Open your big fat mouth again!” If there was a list of things a brother or cousin didn't want to hear while trying to fight their way out of a headlock, ‘open your mouth’ was definitely in the top ten. That's just asking to be fed worms or handfuls of dirt or any other horrendous concoction boys could cook together. 

Although with the night he was having it was more likely something his staff actually cooked up that he sent back or threw on the floor. 

Not… that he hadn't ate stuff he’d thrown on the floor before. 

“OHHH! So NOW you shut your trap, huh?! Well I don't think so champ! You’re gonna take your stupid fuckin mute button, take a nap in the fuckin office or SOMETHING, and stop throwing a damn tantrum! You're gonna ruin our reputation by ruining the customers’ experience! You know how many of those fuckers out there are first timers? We will never get them back if you keep! Fucking! Screaming!”

Carm tried to twist out of the hold, nearly picking Richie up with the way he threw himself forward but Richie pulled him back at the same time, briefly choking him and giving Richie the perfect opportunity to mash the pacifier against his mouth.

Initially Carmy fights more, going to dig his nails into one of his arms while trying to shove the other away from his mouth, not aware it was his own stress item being very aggressively offered to him at first. But after Richie managed to worm the teet past his lips, smashing it against his teeth while the shield pressed somewhat familiarly against the skin around his mouth he pauses. his mind works through the onslaught of emotions at the realization of what was being shoved in his mouth. 

Pacifier. Not.. a handful of cigarette butts. Or a napkin full of grease. Or something equally horrifying. Just… his pacifier. 

Shock… embarrassment, frustration, and finally back to anger again. 

Angry acceptance.

Which.. Richie could work with.

Carm reluctantly parts his grit teeth to let the rubber end pass to set on his tongue, glaring at the stove beside Fak who was stood stock still in nervous anticipation like many of the others. All simply waiting to see whether the bomb had been defused or made ten times as deadly.

Carm threw off Richie’s arms and held his fists at his sides, taking a couple deep breaths while grinding his teeth down against the rubber. The action slowly starting to calm him down a small notch. Not enough to fully melt away the last hour’s million straws that broke his fucking sanity. But enough to pause his yelling. 

After a few moments, Richie takes a risky gamble by very gently wrapping his fingers around the kid’s wrist and tugging him to face him. He's stiff with allowing him to turn him around, his gaze falling to the floor space behind Richie so he wouldn't have to meet his aggravating look that would piss him off like everything had been. 

“You.. need to ah… cool off in the freezer for a bit..?” He asks, keeping his mouth shut even when he thinks that… maaaaybe the freezer wasn't the best choice after ‘the incident’ and likely wouldn’t be received well as a joke. 

Carmy glances up under his brows to shoot him a dirty look before looking away again as he lisps out a grumpy response around his pacifier, “..no.”

Richie awkwardly nods trying to add a bit of pretend enthusiasm like he would to help disarm wary little kids’ anger or fear. “Okay, yeah, cousin. Fine... no freezer. Uh..” he thinks for a moment of someplace else he could go that wouldn't keep him in the place that had only ramped up his anger and everyone else’s discomfort making it damn near impossible to get through service. “You can't… stay here.”

Carmy’s head shot up, instantly getting heated again. He opens his mouth, hot words already locked and loaded in his throat disengaging the pacifier safety lock. But Richie moves quicker, catching the pacifier before it falls out only to pop it back into his mouth and holds it there. 

“No– hold on! Hold up! I don't wanna hear it. I been hearin it and my head hurts. You gave a damn headache so we're going t’have quiet time.” He tentatively releases his hold on the pacifier, lightly tapping it instead as if shushing him while softening his voice, “Quiet time. Away from the kitchen. Preferably away from the entire restaurant. Okay..? Say okay little bear.”

Carmy keeps glaring at him, aware of all the eyes on him, and the potential consequences of disobeying Richie’s suggestion like accidentally purposely running off all his friends and chefs. Like he did with Claire. 

It was that reminder that diffused some of his flames, sneaking guilt into his mind and a slight willingness to take a break. He takes a deep breath, dropping his gaze away from Richie’s. too embarrassed to look him in the eye while he agreed.

“..okay.”

“Okay?” Richie repeats him, letting out a relieved sigh feeling like half the battle was already won with just that one word.

“Okay..!” Carmy mumbles in a more annoyed tone, frustrated he had to repeat himself but mainly still embarrassed and reluctant to abandon his kitchen with such an intense mess.

“Okay. Okay! Yeah. C’mon. I’ll… I’ll drive. Sugar? Sydney? You got this? Y’all cover our–” Richie was moving, taking Carmy’s hand in his and intertwining their fingers without a second thought as he looked to the two girls he trusted the most.

“Yeah–”

“Yep!” they both chimed in, the kitchen being set back in motion, moving and adjusting for the change. “Go ahead. Go. We got this.”

Sugar waves them off, trying to shoo them away while Sydney has already moved onto expo, figuring out Carmy’s mess and calling out orders. Richie nods and kisses Sugar’s forehead as he passes by her, proud of his staff’s ability to adjust so easily… without Carm stressing them the fuck out. 

The more the guilt started to consume Carmy, the smaller he felt. His head was spinning and cloudy, the kitchen’s noises beginning to be way too much and he could hear Chef David whispering all the horrendous fucked up things in his ear again. Maybe they weren’t fucked up. Maybe they were just true and he didn’t want to hear the truth. Maybe he’s as bad as Chef David was. If he weren't then he wouldn't be getting removed from his own kitchen would he?

He had to get his thoughts under control or he was going to have a panic attack.

Is he already having a panic attack? Is that what fueled this whole thing? Is it why his fuse was so short today? Because his nervous system was all out of whack?

They were already at Richie’s car and he was saying something, probably had been saying a lot more but Carm hadn’t picked up on any of it. The flashes of traumatic prior memories had been too loud. 

Richie opens the passenger door, still holding his hand he notices. It was nice, he thought. He looked at their hands while Rich cleared the seat off for him one handed. He didn't usually give anyone but his daughter rides to places and she rode in the backseats so his front one usually became the collect all.

Seat cleared, Richie turns to the noticeably quiet and spacey Carm who was now sucking on his pacifier instead of chewing on it. He lets go of his hand to grab at his waist, moving to hoist him into the seat but the actions seemed to break his shut down spell. 

Carmen makes a sharp gasp like he’d been punched in the gut then whines while his hand shoots out to grab Richie’s. But he doesn't just stop once he has it, Carm pulls it up to his chest, cuddling it between his arms and tucking his chin down towards it. 

He didn't want it taken away. Richie didn’t understand. He needed it. It was this overwhelming feeling of desperation that if his hand was taken away from him everything bad would happen. Another person would be leaving him because of how he behaved. Because he could never be good enough. He wasn't perfect and he needed to be perfect. He needed someone to stay and let him hold their hand even if he didn't deserve it.

“Carm..” Richie's brows furrowed slightly as he looked at the younger man. His best friend’s little brother… a major pain in his ass… his responsibility. “You gotta let go, bud. I gotta get you into the car so we can go home.”

Carmy made no move to show he’d even so much as heard him, still hugging his arm to his chest. Richie tried to pet his chin with the awkward position, lightly running his thumb over the skin he could reach while Carmy tucked his head down further to nuzzle against it.

“Listen.. That's very cute… but you gotta let go.” he gives a small breathy chuckle at the sight of him regressing to a very clingy baby but his smile disappears when he tries to tug his arm away only to be met with way too much resistance. He tries again, shocked at how strong Carmy could be even while regressed. It reminded him of real babies when they hold fingers with an iron grip. “Be a good boy and let me have my arm back.. Carm. Carmen– give me–Oh god damn it! This isnt funny– give me my fucking arm!”

Things were quickly devolving into another wrestling match, Richie pushing, shoving, tugging, and cursing while Carmen did everything he could to keep his hand like it was a prized possession. Although while Richie was growing more aggravated, Carmy was starting to giggle quietly, his mind forced to be quiet when he had to focus on maintaining his grip and deterring Richie’s escape attempts.

“Oh you think this is funny? You think this is soooo funny! Listen to those stupid little toddler giggles.” Richie complained loudly, really playing up his annoyance while he wrestled around with him, making Carmy giggle more even when he tousled his hair in an attempt to distract him enough to loosen his grip. “Taking a man’s arm hostage is a low blow, kid! You’ve unleashed a Rich storm on yourself.”

He lightly shoved him into the car, making sure he wasn't actually being too rough now that he knew Carmy was enjoying himself and playing. But still hard enough that it seemed like he was putting up a real fight. Richard couldn’t be underestimated too much. 

Carmy laughed as his back hits the side of the car then tries to turn in towards the back door to pin Richie's arm between his chest and the car. while he was successful in hiding his prized object just so happened to be attached to his biggest tormenter which meant Richie was also pulled much closer. 

Richie didn't bother hiding his smile now, still annoyed with having his arm taken but it was hard not to have fun roughhousing with a playful toddler.  With the new position Richie was pressed partially against his back, so he leaned around and pressed several dramatic kisses to his face before blowing raspberries on his cheek. Carmy squealed out quiet little ‘ewwws’ and turned his face away to escape the onslaught of yucky wet affection, rethinking his choice to trap himself against the car.

Still undeterred from their goals, Carmy’s grip stayed firm and Richie pivoted to his hail mary. 

Tickling. 

Tickling was a pretty intense offense against toddlers but he needed his arm back. They couldn’t stay out wrestling in the parking lot the rest of the night. 

Using his free arm, Richie's fingers start to walk up from Carm’s hip, moving towards the little place on his side near the bottom edge of his ribs that had always been his most ticklish spot growing up. It took the kid all of two seconds to figure out what he was doing and where he was heading towards, his muscles already tensing up in anticipation.

“Nononono–” he mumbles around the pacifier he had by the grace of the chef gods not managed to drop yet even with all his laughing and Richie having forgotten to attach the clip to his shirt.

Richie chuckled in that playfully evil way at the sound of him protesting before his fingers had even found their target yet. Which turned to full snickering as Carmy squeals and squirms against the car door the moment his hand jumps to his ribs, poking and pinching lightly. 

He was glad to see Carmy lighting up a bit from that dissociative state he was in minutes ago. He had been trying not to dwell on it, afraid that if he spoke up about it he would make things worse. He didn’t know what was going on in the kid’s mind most of the time and it was really hard to get Carmy to open up about things, especially when he was stressed or generally in a poor mood. And that honestly seemed to be nearly all the time recently.

He continued to tease and wrestle with him for a few more minutes, until he finally managed to slip his hand free, Carmy's grip having loosened as he tried not to pee himself from the tickling. 

Fresh off his win, Richie holds his arms up and walks in a small circle for an imaginary crowd, cheering for himself. “Whoooh! That's right baby! No one can keep Richie tied down!”

Carmy continued giggling at first when he had slipped his arm free, finding his celebrating silly. But the mindless enjoyment fell through milliseconds afterwards, mild panic replacing it. He follows after Richie closely, reaching out for his hand, trying to take it back with little pitiful whimpers wordless whines. He looked a bit like a puppy trying to climb its owner to get to its tennis ball.

“Oh no you don’t. You had it locked down long enough. It’s time we get you in the car and on the road.” Richie kept his hand up and away from Carmy's outstretched fingers, using the other hand he seemed to have forgotten about to wrap around his waist. The touch catches his attention briefly, making him look down to see what was touching him. 

Using this distraction the older of the two quickly swings his other hand down to scoop under his butt and lifts him up just enough to deposit him into the awaiting passenger seat. “Up you go, little bear.” 

Carm makes a little noise of surprise and discomfort, looking at Rich with childish betrayal for tricking him– even though Richie believed he did nothing of the sort. He stretches the seat belt out and buckles him in, ruffling his hair once more then stepping back before Carmy could process things enough to go back to reaching for his hand. He closes the door on the pouting boy who quickly pressed his hands on the window while looking insanely dejected. 

He was practically put in a prison. Strapped down with no way to get out and no bubba Richie to comfort him. He only had his paci in his mouth. He didn't even get a stuffie to hold instead of Richie's hand. And now bubbas was walking away from the window, totally disappearing from sight and ABANDONING him?! Was he that bad of a little boy?

Carmy was practically on the verge of tears within the few very short seconds Richie had taken to walk around the car to slide into the driver's seat. He turned the keys and reached for the radio, glancing over at the poor guy to ask what music he wanted to listen to only to be caught off guard with watery eyes. These mood swings were genuinely bewildering to him. He just couldn't keep up but he supposed Carmy couldn't help it when he mind was too little to probably process all the big, complicated emotions adult Carmy had been going through today.

“Woah! Woah.. what happened? I was only gone a second! Why are you crying, little man?”

Carmy sniffles and reached up to rub his eyes with his fist, babbling out words that his pacifier only made more incomprehensible. “Yew leff..! An I fought babah gone..evwer.. An ewver.. dike Cahair…cawse m’mean an douhn wan hole ands…!”

Someone really needed to make a toddler babble translation app because it took all of Richie’s dad skills to decipher what the fuck he was trying to say.

“You.. thought I was gonna leave you like Claire Bear cause… you're mean..? And you think I didn't want to keep holding hands? Is.. that it? Is that what you're trying to say, baby?”  he repeats hesitantly, really hoping he was right because otherwise he would look like a jackass bringing up Claire. He lucked out, Carmy nodding his head and Richie was internally wiping away stress sweat from the mental gymnastics his ears had to go through to get to that conclusion.

“Buddy.. I wasn't leaving you. I had to get in the car too and.. We can hold hands again while I drive. I just had to get you to let go for a minute so I could get your stinky butt in the seat.” he reassures him, holding his hand out over the center console. Carmy stopped his aggressive eye rubbing to look down at his offered hand, hopeful about getting the comfort back. He glances at Richie's face once more to make sure he was being serious then nervously moves to take his hand. It was incredibly relieving to have it back. He almost couldn't remember why it upset him to lose it to begin with. 

“Yeah. look at that. You're all good now. huh, champ? You're alright. You're chill.” Richie was watching him with a slightly pinched face as if he was waiting for him to start crying again or yelling or.. Who knows what the next emotion would be. But Carmy relaxed into his seat, pacifier lightly bobbing in his mouth as he intertwined their fingers and looked out his window, ready for the ride. “Yeah… s’all good now.” Richie murmurs, still confused about the emotional whiplash but choosing to once again ignore it. He’ll deal with things as they come. That’s the best you could do with kids. 

Using their intertwined hands, he shifted gears and started to drive to his place to babysit his little cousin for the afternoon. It was a bit awkward but he made it work to keep Carmy content. 

As they drove and Carmy’s little side made more of an appearance, he couldn't stop thinking that he secretly a little glad that Sugar had gotten so overly invested in Carmy’s regression since the little guy that was pointing at billboard signs and other restaurants, babbling nonsense about them would need better stuff than Richie’s apartment had to offer. But Sugar had prepared for emergencies and dropped off one of the ugly regression bags at his place around the same time she had stashed one at The Bear and Carmen's house. So hopefully this evening wouldn’t be too terrible. 

[princescribbler]

Explaining The Importance of Caring for Your Caregiver (& Examples)

All too often in Ageplay or Caregiver/little dynamics, the caregivers' needs and desires are delayed or limited in an effort to meet the expectations and desires of the little.

That is a surprise to many, who only see the little as 'a submissive' and thus assume that their needs are viewed as secondary. Often, especially in longterm abdl, Ageplay, and CG/l dynamics, this isn't the case and the little is treated as almost incapable of meeting their own needs... and thus the caregiver focuses on that and helping, guiding, or instructing them! The focus then moves on to having the little one get their needs and desires met (often with the caregivers Dommy help, or guidance) but frequently forgets the reciprocity of the dynamic!

As a result, this is one area of kink, as compared to more traditional D/s dynamics, that can easily fall apart for the caregiver/ Dominant role. And it isn't anyone's FAULT, with the little not necessarily aware that they may not be meeting their partner's needs equally! Often they're just trying to be a good partner, little, sub or plaything or devoted cutie!

So how do we fix it? It's actually pretty easy.

Prioritize checking in with BOTH parties: caregivers need safe words, check ins, and their needs discussed just as much as any little does.

Make a conscious choice to identify the CG's daily needs. Like, the little might need a daily bedtime... but the caregiver might need a daily "thank you and I love and appreciate you" text before that bedtime, or even a call to say that you appreciate and agree to what you're getting as their little. Saying "thank you for helping give me structure" makes the caregiver go from feeling like a nag to feeling appreciated and acknowledged.

CAREGIVERS need safewords. Just... this is pretty basic but boy oh boy do a lot of people ignore this. Everybody involved in your kink dynamic needs to be able to express their need to pause and be given aftercare and support, full stop.

Passive affection: often a caregiver is the most important and valued person in a littles life... but that can be shown often through bigger or more grand gestures. Agreeing to go to bed is obedience, thanking them for your toys or pleasure or sexy stuff is fun, but PASSIVE AFFECTION is just a basic need. Call them "love", call them nice names and lovely words. Give them a big hug when you pass in the house, and them a text without getting one first, forward them that song you heard that made you think of your CG... those small acts of daily attention are often even more impactful than great gestures and kinky dynamic things.

Give them time to choose their headspace; maybe they're a switch, maybe they just need a bit of time to engage in a more vanilla or traditional way: if you're with someone who never gives themselves time to relax and engage with you OUT of that headspace, offer it! You might be shocked how much they need a night of adult to adult talk, or maybe just a tiny break!

Give them pleasure! No, not just sex (though... sure, if you're both consenting and able, have at it!) But even things like a back rub, a cuddle in bed, a slow lazy Sunday morning cuddled up without having to do errands... make being with you a source of comfort, pleasure, and affection. It's also a selfish thing you can do too: you'll be amazed how much they want to be with you and be a caregiver to you if BEING your caregiver is such fun and so pleasant!

Show interest in their interests: what hobbies, favorite shows, favorite topics of conversation do they have? I love kink and abdl... but if that's the only way you talk to your caregiver and the only thing you talk about, you might not be connecting in a deeper or more sincere way. Try to show interest, and actually BE interested! Don't treat your caregiver like a kink dispenser you have to occasionally put time and energy into... treat them as the interesting, loving person they truly are.

I'm no expert in relationship dynamics, I'm not a therapist, I'm not trained or anything like that. So take my advice as the opinions of someone who thinks they know what they're talking about... but who is not claiming to be speaking the gospel perfect best truth here. But if you think you might agree or if you feel that you or your partner NEEDS to hear this occasionally, thanks for reading and taking it in.

Caregivers are, quite literally, giving. They give of themselves even when it seems like they're just telling you what to do, because that IS what they can give to you. But littles and their partners need to know how to give back, for everyone's mutual benefit.

Treat your partner well, and remember: even a big tough caregiver needs a snuggle and some quiet time, every once in a while!

As always: stay happy, stay healthy, and stay kinky!

-Scribbler

[tanadrin]

That is correct, I didn't think the Mosaic law would be a practical way of running a society but that's what my client wanted so that's what I wrore

I don't really get the joke here, so I'm just going to take an opportunity to add another fact I found pretty interesting:

It was common in the Ancient Near East to create codes of law for display purposes (and outside it--cf. the Twelve Tables). This wasn't so much so that the common person could know and understand the law, because literacy rates were pretty low, but served a similar function as monumental architecture, to display the power of the ruler and at least notionally their justice. But in practice, the law as it actually functioned could be pretty different from the law as these monuments proclaimed it.

I think it's interesting to consider the law-as-a-symbol. There was some incidental discourse crossing my dash recently about whether "law" as a general concept protects the weak from the strong, or whether it legitimates the rule of the elites. And I think the answer is that is obviously does neither: that a society has a system of law tells you nothing about how that system functions, and you have to dig into the nitty-gritty details to determine whether the society has "rule of law" (which is good) or "rule by law" (which is bad). The former is, hopefully, a system where the law binds everybody, attempts to be fair, and there is at least some effort to enforce it equally; the latter is where law is a justification for a system power that makes no pretense at that sort of thing.

And I think rule by law is a very common state of affairs, especially pre-French Revolution! I might be generous and say pre-Enlightenment at best. Because before you have an ideological starting point of "ok, everybody should be equal before the law and the law should be impartially enforced," one-off privileges, aristocracies, and random exemptions from various rights and duties are pretty normal, and one of the major functions of law is to codify these inequities to make sure the king or his judiciary respects them. There is a reason one of the big components of revolutionary projects historically has been administrative reform, because in redrawing internal boundaries and revising old law codes, you can do away with these inequities and legally enshrined hierarchies.

And that pattern of inequity, of legally enshrined hierarchy, is of course thoroughly present in Leviticus and Deuteronomy. As Dan McClellan points out, agency in these codes flows downhill and it flattens everything in its path. The agency of men erases that of women: the law treats what happens if a man violates the property rights of another man over the women under his dominion (his daughters or wives), but the agency of the women ("consent" in modern parlance) simply makes no difference to the law. The only place women's sexual agency shows up in the law is in the one situation where a woman is interacting with a creature lesser than her, i.e., if she lies with an animal.

Even in the European Middle Ages I think there were real disjuncts between the worldview of the people using these law codes for devotional purposes and the worldview of their authors. In the modern era, of course, those disjuncts are yawning chasms, and as a result you get some really weak apologetic attempts to try to reconcile modern ethics with (again, impractical, unworkable, entirely theoretical) Iron Age legal theory. But there are lots of places in the Bible--both in the law codes and in the narrative portions--where I think the disjunct is so great that the aftercomers can't really make heads or tails of the worldviews of their predecessors. This is where the apologists (and before them, the commentaries of the Talmud) often have to invent major details out of whole cloth to try to turn the situation into one that makes sense to them. It would be better, and easier to construct a more consistent system of ethics, to just jettison the bits that clearly aren't applicable to the concerns of your community--but then of course once you admit that what parts of your scripture you do and don't accept are contingent on their relevance to your community, it is no longer the timeless and authoritative book from God, and it ceases to be a useful way of structuring power.

And as with codes of law, holy writ is (among other things) about structuring power! Otherwise all religion would approximately resemble Unitarian Universalism, an honest, gentle, thoughtful faith that is approximately irrelevant.

[ahamkara-apologist]

Not to be insane in your inbox but I simply MUST hear more of your Uluran specbio headcanons. They keep me sane.

Okay yeah I'm just gonna post this now- been fiddling with it for several weeks and keep getting distracted by cool reproductive biology facts (like the complexities of rhino cervixes and why it makes conservation efforts via artificial insemimation so difficult) so here ya go. Most of this is reproductive biology bc I'm studying to be an evolutionary geneticist for conservation purposes, so be aware of that- all that good stuff is under a readmore

*Note: I started using the terms ‘bulls’ for male Uluru and ‘sows’ for female Uluru midway through this bc I got tired of writing ‘male/female’ over and over again, as this doc also contains Eliksni and Hive biology musings. It helps distinguish the Uluran section from the others a bit. I also use Uluru/Uluran interchangeably, with ‘Uluru’ being the notation for individuals and ‘Uluran’ being the notation for a group/the species as a whole.

General:

-The exposed upper gumline we see in almost all Uluru faces isn't how their lips normally rest; baring the teeth and upper gum is an expression of superiority/confidence in their strength. The reason we almost always see their faces in this position is because the Uluran almost universally view humans as weaker, and even those like Caiatl (who has seen otherwise) does it on instinct because they cannot fathom how much smaller we are

-Which, to be fair, doesn't say a lot; an Uluru with a relaxed mouth typically only occurs in private, when around their mate or equals. When an expression can mean both 'I am greater than you' as well as 'I am confident in myself and my abilities', and the whole society they live in is based around being the best of your class, then it's going to be a very common facial expression

-(On a side note: their growth hormones being triggered by a sense of pride isn't actually all that outlandish. House Sparrows exhibit a similar occurrance in real life, where winning dominance battles against other males increases the size of their bib, a black patch on their chest that indicates where they are placed in their social hierarchy. The more fights they win, the bigger their bib)

-Uluran fat distribution is mostly internal, and is focused around the organs to act as shock barriers when fighting; their muscles typically layer over the fat bands. The one exception to this is around the throat/jowl area, where fat layers over the thick muscle pads to help protect the vulnerable area from being gored by tusks during fighting

-Unlike in human society, hitting on a married individual is not socially unacceptable, especially if the individual doing the flirting believes that the pairing is an unfit match for one another and they can do better. It's considered romantic and marriage-affirming for the partner who's being shamed in this situation to chase the other suitor off. This weighed especially heavily on the sows bc of the vulnerable mate-guarding lactation period post-pregnancy

-(However it should be noted that Uluran gender roles are less restrictive in some ways than humans bc they’re based more on the strength of the individual than their ability to perform preset social rules, and that in modern times this is more for show)

-Historically, reverse-harem groups were a common sign of status, with one particularly fit sow mating with three or four bulls and/or having ‘lesser’ males that she did not mate with (or stole from other sows) nursing her calves. In some extremely traditionalist groups/among gladiators, this still occurs, but most mating groups max out at three individuals because the posturing required to keep people interested is just…a lot. Its a lot of mutual impressing to do

Reproductive biology:

-Much like hyenas, sows have a pseudopenis that is a result of increased androgens, and big pseudopenises on sows are seen as a mark of great status/strength. Tusk size/growth rates is also sometimes correlated with pseudopenis size, since the amount of androgens in the blood stream are correlated with both tusk growth rates and penis size

-Unlike hyena pseudopenises, however, the urinary tract does run through the shaft of the clitorus, while the birth canal essentially opens halfway down the shaft, creating a pouchlike vaginal opening. Arousal is required for this pouch to unfold; if not, penetration cannot occur, and in an unaroused state, it collapses in on itself into the base of the shaft, which then folds into the sheath for total protection. This evolved to keep the genital area clean, but has been co-opted to prevent mating until the female is ready, much like hyenas

-Yes, in less civilized times the pseudopenis was also used for dominance displays. During the breeding season, sows would evert their hemipenes in a half-erect state to essentially show off their fitness, which would greatly influence male mate choice. Tusk size = general status, penis size = reproductive status

-Bulls only receive a spike in androgens after the sows actively courting them go into an estrus cycle, which triggers increased sperm production and makes their testicles swell in size to what would be normal on a mammal (inspired by how bird testicles increase in size during mating season) and skyrockets their seminal viability 200% above average, specifically for the purpose of fertilizing a female in estrus. After fertilization occurs, they have to be around a pregnant sow for an extended period of time to a.) drop them back to a normal, non-breeding state and b.) induce lactation for the arriving calves, which is typically when mate guarding begins to occur in earnest. Both hormone cycle mechanisms are pheromonally regulated, but may have a 'ghost cycle' occurrence where the hormone fluxes occur on a very minor level

-As a consequence: very humanly 'masculine' bulls are typically less traditionally attractive compared to bulls with what we might consider more 'feminine' traits. Bulls with too much testosterone will have tusks on par with sows, larger penises, and testes that are noticeably descended from the abdominal cavity. While they are typically more capable of fertilizing sows, they are incapable of producing milk or are subpar at it, which means they cannot gestate the resulting calves effectively, so that increased fertility is essentially useless

-(However, it is important to note again that Uluran gender roles do not correlate to human ones, and high-testosterone bulls will still be considered very valuable fighters, warriors, and champions. They're just not considered suitable mate material, and are laughed or scoffed at if they ever want to have a family of their own. Ghaul was an example of a high-testosterone bull)

-[OOPS I ACCIDENTALLY WROTE THIS TWICE BUT DONT WANNA DELETE IT] Fertilization is internal and requires cooperation of both parties to occur. The female vaginal opening itself is composed of erectile tissue, and directly connected to the base of the pseudopenis; when aroused, it everts from the body cavity in an unfurling motion (as the outer labia are composed of thick skin that tuck inwards for protection) and sticks out a bit for ease of penetration.

-The male penis does much the same, but is long, thin, and semiprehensile, allowing it to easily curve under the curve of the abdomen and slip into the vagina via touch alone. The head flares after ejaculation to scrape out the sperm of opposing males, but isn’t terribly effective at it, as it is composed of soft, spongy tissue to be able to exit the tighter vaginal opening. Because bulls typically pick only one sow to mate with, the effect is not terribly drastic compared to, say, the Eliksni (who are much more promiscuous)

-Vanilla sex is typically done standing, with abdomens pressed together and reciprocal stimulation occurring in a slow rocking motion until orgasm is obtained. Casually reclining is another option, but the evolutionary default was to mate while standing bc it allowed for quicker reaction timing if a threat approached

-Uluran have 5 nipples, placed under the main abdominal fat pad and covered with their pouch, which is a flap of tough hide with very elastic skin around its edges that can be torn away if a certain pattern of muscle contractions occur (much like lizard caudal autonomy). Both bulls and sows have a pouch that can be opened, but it is vastly reduced to a mere fold of skin on sows. The pouch typically only opens when stimulated by the birth of calves (triggered by the scent of newborn calves), or when stimulated from within. The skin that seals it shut has no pain receptors, and calf ejection has to be voluntarily triggered in order to occur- the default pathway is 'closed'.

-Births are a private affair, limited only to one's mate; a midwife and their apprentice may come stay on the property, but typically only come in if something is wrong. Even though Uluran calves are born underdeveloped, much like marsupials, they also suffer from the same evolutionary blows dealt to humans in that an upright stance and larger brains made birth more difficult. Pair that with the fact that they're coming out of a narrow birth canal, and yeah, first-time births are often quite painful; Uluran culture typically see birth as a battle, and first births (where tearing of the vaginal canal almost always occurs in some capacity) as a blood rite.

-If possible, the calves are born onto the bulls's abdomen as he guards/monitors his mate, which is all the help that they are traditionally allowed to get as they crawl into his pouch and latch onto a tear to complete development. Any that fail to reach the pouch are left to die

-Up to five calves can be born at a time, but 2 is typically much more common. Of a five-calf litter, only four will ever be healthy; the fifth will always be a runt, and almost never survive. Six is practically unheard of, and always leads to the litter dying because all of the other calves are too underdeveloped to have been carried to term

-Calves are roughly palm-sized when born, and are a stoutly compact, rectangular pink blob of flesh. They're essentially fetus potatos, with the only developed part of them being their crawling limbs. Their skin is transparent, thin, and heavily vascularized, especially along their bellies, as the interior of a bull's pouch is also highly vascularized, and oxygen exchange occurs through cross-current exchange across the skin. Once they find and latch to a nipple, the babies will essentially fuse belly-first to their father's pouch + teat, and will stick there until they're developed enough to leave the pouch and start breathing on their own (the thick hide on their bellies is the last thing to develop before leaving the pouch). This also means that calf ejection is almost always fatal, as it involves the tearing of that oxygen-exchange patch

-Uluru milk consists almost entirely of protein, with the remaining content being mostly fats. There's very little sugar in it, and just enough water to give it the consistancy of something slightly thinner than heavy cream. It's basically an antibody-packed protein shake, and allows the calves to grow at tremendous speeds once born. They're capable of tripling their weight in the first week alone

-(Coincidentally, how fat a baby is when they leave the pouch is deemed a way to tell how fit the male is to be a father. The fatter the baby is, the sexier the male, as that means he's fit enough to be producing very high-quality milk at very little cost to himself)

-(Yes this means that Calus was peak dilf material in Uluran terms. Deal with it)