#eating people on a boat doesn't make you a bad person

[the-golden-vanity]

Last night, I decided I was going to watch In The Heart Of The Sea. I'm fully aware that it's a terrible movie, but I know I'll end up watching it eventually. My interest in boat cannibalism demands it.

However, when I typed the film's title into the Apple TV search bar, In The Heart Of The Sea came up... as did Moby-Dick and Life Of Pi. It was as if Apple TV was telling me, "hey, would you like to watch something that has similar themes, but doesn't suck?"

[r3starttt]

ABBY FLUFF HC’S

taglist

MODERN AU HC'S

𐙚 gets sooo sleepy after she eats. Except for when she's having breakfast, since she's definitely a morning person she has the most healthy massive breakfast ever.

𐙚 definitely eats gym food. The most it tastes like cardboard the more she likes it. And always makes you eat what she eats, no excuses.

𐙚 takes you everywhere she goes. Gym? You go too. Work? She's driving you to your job or waking you early in the morning to take her to hers.

𐙚 cuddles, all the time, any reason or no reason at all. When she's had a bad day, when you're stressed, when you haven't got enough time for each other.

𐙚 loves what you love. She'd to her research whenever you seem interested in something.

𐙚 that's a hundred percent how she made you fall in love. Like, you not even talking to her strictly but just to your friends about something you like and then she remembers? And not only that, she also did research? Just to be able to talk more with you?

𐙚 makes Playlists for you. For the two of you, with songs that are special for both or for you, she's just so in love :(

𐙚 adores massages. Scalp and back massages to be more specific. She never ever doubts on not even asking you but placing herself over you/ cuddle and thats how you know she needs one.

𐙚 plans lots of dates and is the most romantic about it? Picnics and movie nights and stuff, religiously every weekend If possible

𐙚 loves going on trips with you.

𐙚 big on holidays, special dates. She’ll make of it a big deal just for you :((

𐙚 her love language is either physical touch or acts of service if not both. This woman is 25/8 at your service.

𐙚 she loves deep. Adores your face your body your voice your everything

𐙚 she definitely learns everything about you, not in a creepy way but in an I wanna know your culture, your favorite food, your thoughts so I can understand you and be there for you all the time

𐙚 you have a pet? She loves them. It's her baby the second you show it to her no matter what it is (ofc if it's a dog she's already on her knees omfg)

𐙚 whenever you're out together she'll be paying attention to you most of the time. Knows when your social battery ran out, knows when you secretly (not so secretly) hate someone. And always makes sure you're comfortable (the type to give you her jacket when it's too cold, her food when you're still hungry, leave a place with the excuse she has shit to do because she knows you're not comfortable with the people or the ambience or whatever)

𐙚 not to bring Owen or the boat scene but I think people forgets she literally fell asleep so... Abby is definitely a big fan of aftercare.

𐙚 I repeat, she's very productive but sleepy and needs you there with her to take ner naps (such a grandpa fr)

𐙚 biggest spoil lover. You want anything you're getting it right here right now

𐙚 wants a family, I said it, do not argue

OUTBREAK HC'S

𐙚 she's taking you every chance she gets with her (arguing with Isaac to not let you with anyone that's not her)

𐙚 doesn't see the need to bring trinkets for you whenever she goes on patroll or let you bring stuff bcs they just take space, but, she'll find a way to make you the most delicious food, or exchange her own stuff to get you better clothes, shoes, blankets. Anyways, loves 'gifts'

𐙚 whenever you go out, you're either in front of her so she can see you or behind her if there's danger.

𐙚 she hates waking you up whenever she has nightmares but sometimes she can't help but seek for you. Holding your hand in your sleep, cuddling closer, trying to match or focus on your breathing, anything but waking you up :(

𐙚 she trusts you with her life. But also doesn't because she knows your life doesn't really depend on you but on people who could harm you.

𐙚 hates seeing you tired or starving after tough days, even though she knows she'll take care of you or make it easy for you to take care of yourself, she just wishes you could never ever have do anything.

𐙚 lives flirting with you. And then gets too conscious about it bcs of manny

𐙚 she takes holidays seriously and makes sure to celebrate like people used to :(

𐙚 also, celebrates your birthday in the most pretty way, making sure it’s super extremely special for you ever single time

𐙚 very specific, but being accurate to the game. She'll never put you in any danger while searching for Joel. I think that would definitely put the relationship in a risk instead but that would also make her realize how tough the whole situation is, like, she'd be more aware that doing all this could lead her to lose you or vice versa.

𐙚 hates to do it but sometimes (most times) makes you clean the dishes or fold the clothes (you know like what she did with manny, that type of stuff)

𐙚 if you like dogs she's making sure to get you one (like Mel and Alice situation)

[ivys-garden]

Wild Life Spoilers: Session 2 Alliance Report:

Teams:

The Spanners - (Mumbo, Grian, Skizz) - formerly the Sub One Club, immediately forget their idea of using crawl mode and lament that they can't be sub one anymore. Mumbo then decides they are “The Floaters” due to them becoming obsessed with the levitation ability. Luckily this doesn't stick because I could not handle an alliance that changes name every session. Mumbo and Skizz built their “base” as a series of bridges, leading to Mumbo calling them “The Spanners” since “they span things”.

Speaking of levitation, they died from that. And starvation. This was not Mumbo or Skizzes session, with Mumbo losing two life's and Skizz losing 3, halfing his amount of lives in one session. If Skizz loses one next week he will be yellow. Seems Grian's curse of outlining his alliance has started early.

The Bam-Boozelers - (Scar, Lizzie, Jimmy)

I normally have a lot of faith in all life series teams. I think anyone can make it to the end. I think this so long as it is not abundantly clear that they're doomed. I never say someone is Doomed from the star-

This team is doomed from the start. Immediately they decide that the Wild Card is that he can't heal from hunger, now this is a good first thought and is shared by other teams, though those other teams immediately realised that if that were the Wild Card everyone would die of hunger and started looking for other options.

These 3? They stuck with that idea and started making boats to travel. When they realised that their hunger reduced passively, they panicked until Grian saved them by telling everyone in chat that they could eat anything. Now, armed with this knowledge they just have to find a good and easy to use food source.

They chose stone shovels. An item that cannot be stacked and required way more effort and resources to make than was worth it. And they stuck by this even as others told them about better foods. They only stopped using shovels because of the randomisation.

How is Jimmy the most confident member on his team?

In other news, they're theme park is going well and Lizzie's Parrot is cute. Jimmy also apparently has “Big Mascot Energy”.

Renwood - (Martyn, Ren)

These dogs are just vibing. They each lose a life each, no big deal. A far cry from previous seasons, Ren is just chilling, Not going after anyone unless they go after them first and trying to get Martyn to do the same. And he actually does, not attacking anyone this session at all. He even gives up going after Jimmy for stealing their cows (an action which was by every account deserved.)

The Tuff Guys (Tango, Etho, Bdubs) (not technically together (?))

Ah yes, Team B.E.S.T without Skizz …. Considering Skizz was the only person keeping Team B.E.S.T from imploding, this can only go well!

Yeah this team is not staying together. Technically they're already breaking up, with Bdubs saying they should only look out for themselves and insisting they live in different houses. Bdubs even cements this mentality by fully encouraging Scar to help kill Tango for no reason.

As for the “Tuff” part, Etho has decided that they need to be tougher and take what they want from people. You know, not to be nice or polite.

Luckily we can see how this works in practice, as Gem encourages him to go be tough to the Final Girls, let's see how Etho is an not being nice:

● he greets Scott and Cleo

● makes small talk

● politely asks for copper

● tries to stop Pearl stealing from them since he doesn't know she's on they're team

● takes more of the stuff he was told he could have

● gives them obsidian in return anyway

● and still feels bad about it.

Yeah not only was this the least tough Etho had ever been, the Girls almost certainly didn't notice and probably won't even care when they do. Great job Etho.

The Fast And The Furious (Gem, Joel)

This session, Gem announced her plan to make friends so people don't judge them based on 5 seasons worth of going insane every time they go red. This lasts for 3 minutes before other people arrive, Scar misunderstands instructions, Etho lets the cops out and the Final Girls partake in their favourite pastime of miscommunication and insisting their own teammates are doing something they aren't.

Other attempts to make friends do go better, with Gem arguably being on good terms with everyone except two people. So that's good.

Gem also builds a cute little Bard that I give a session before it's burnt down or has a Creeper hole in it. Joel spends all session building a car. Everyone on the server thinks it's hideous, mainly because it is hideous.

The Final Girls - (Scott, Pearl, Cleo, Impulse, Bigb)

Somehow the most stable team here, even if it is mostly out of spite. Yeah this team will stay together, the core four have never betrayed anyone unless an outside faction is involved. They're safe. Even if they continue the tradition of forgetting all the bad stuff they did and only reimbursing bad stuff their teammates did (what do you mean Pearl doesn't trust people based on what happened in previous seasons? That was you, Cleo!)

Oh Bigb also joined this session. Though I imagine this will be a Heart Foundation situation where he bases alone despite being on the team.

Scott and Cleo spend a lot of time this session fixing the mistakes Pearl and Impulse make by acting how they always do. A house and wall are built and Pearl and Impulse prepare revenge plans on Grian and Martyn. Pearl encourages Impulse not to tell the others, seemingly forgetting that Cleo and Bigb are addicted to revenge and would have no problem with this.

Alliances and Friendships:

Lizzie and Gem

these two agree to team up if their teammates die. Since their teammates are idiots.

Remember, Lizzie is the one who made the stone shovel plan.

Spanners Vs Bammers

The Bam-Boozelers still hate the Spanners, dropping their reputation all the way to zero. Mumbo and Skizz either don't realise this or don't care. Grian was gone almost all session mining so can't really say what his thoughts on the situation are.

The Family - (Joel, Etho, Gem)

Etho is indoctrinated into yet another family, though he seems more willing to be present for this one. When Tuff Guys breaks up like 5 minutes into session 3, we all know where he's going.

Also Scar might also be part of the family though every else seems to just ignore this.

Spanners Vs Tango

The Spanners are really angry at Tango for accidentally killing Skizz. They seem satisfied with manifesting his death through belief, but it seems they haven't let him off the hook yet. We all know Bdubs won't help him

Joel might also be mad at Tango since he ate the wheels of his ugly car.

Mumbo & Jimmy still hate Renwood

Mumbo still doesn't trust Martyn after the enchanter fiasco and Jimmy attempts to get revenge for the cow theft. Ren and Martyn have chosen to ignore this, Mumbo seems to have forgotten he was angry, and Jimmy is satisfied that he got revenge.

Ren buys his friends

Ren bought Gem and Tangos friendship through iron. Will this hold up? No.

Gem has beef with team oblivious

Gem hates Pearl and Impulse this season. They are at the top of her inevitable murder list.

● The Final Girls came round for a visit

● Impulse was accused of stealing

● He said he wouldt stela since he knows what it's like to be stolen from

● Gem took this as him amusing her of stealing

● Scott cut him off before he could explain himself by saying he was purposely antagonising them

● Gem cut both of them off by ranting about how much she doesn't trust them

Stellar miscommunication guys, great job as always. Please never change, the series would be way less funny if you did.

Pearl also made it worse by trying to Poison Gem 30 minutes later. Woopsie.

Neither Pearl nor Impulse notice that Gem hates them and the others refuse to tell them.

[mcflymemes]

TO CATCH A THIEF PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the 1955 film, adjust as necessary

not only did i enjoy that kiss last night, i was awed by its efficiency.

left in a hurry, huh?

i'm in love with you.

now that's a ridiculous thing to say.

you're leaving fingerprints on my arm.

[name], why bother?

my only comment would be highly censorable.

some nights a person doesn't need to drink.

the book you're reading is upside down!

they came for me an hour ago.

i called the police from your room and told them who you are and everything you've been doing tonight.

why don't you own a place like this?

the pastries are light as air.

even in this light, i can tell where your eyes are looking.

i haven't stolen a piece of jewelry in fifteen years.

what do you think of my kitchen?

now, let's get down to business.

now i am going to have you investigated.

coincidence can be terrible.

how many did you kill?

you are a man of obvious good taste in everything.

my nerves could stand a drink.

say something nice to her, [name].

you make the choice.

you're here in europe to buy a husband.

the man i want doesn't have a price.

so this is where you live?

thank you. you've been most unkind.

if i'm ever hungry, i'll eat someplace else.

what can i do for you, [name]?

you need clothes and money?

take my boat and go to the islands.

i'm thinking of going home to america.

i wouldn't put it past you.

it has to be somebody who knew every detail of my technique.

you don't believe me any more than the rest.

i don't like running, hiding, and leaving a trail of doubt in everyone's mind.

i shall defend you when i can.

the police are chasing the wrong man.

they're all looking for you.

i only made one mistake.

i was talking about the fireworks!

doesn't it make you nervous to be in the same room with thousands of dollars worth of diamonds, and unable to touch them?

you're mad.

if they catch you, nobody will believe what you say.

you have a rare skill for inspiring confidence.

i only do one favor a day.

look, if you don't want to do this...

you're getting us wet!

a man should never regret his past.

what's on your mind?

i was just thinking about you.

i work for a living.

you can't touch me.

i don't know what you wanted. i know what you got.

in that case, we should hurry.

may i ask you a personal question?

if you're caught, would you be angry with me if i pretended that i was going to give you up to the cops?

act as if you're a pretty girl out for a ride.

don't buy any new clothes with the money yet.

nobody will ever recognizes me in these.

we're both taking a big chance.

what happens to you if i'm caught?

you made a bad choice of profession.

suppose it falls into the wrong hands.

why don't we enjoy our lunch first?

i don't want to seem impatient.

for what it's worth, i only stole from people who wouldn't go hungry.

i'm sorry for ever starting in crime.

i look back with horror on every job i pulled.

something bothering you?

i'm having dinner with them tomorrow.

i will continue to complain.

want me to buy that for you?

i have an intense dislike for it.

[alexa-fika]

Hello again I thought of a request

How about the scene in the Baratie Arc

So mihawk attacked Don Krieg because he kidnapped winged reader (wr)

But wr managed to escape and steals a small boat

he's starving and finds the Baratie but he doesn't have money and we see his interaction with Sanji

And at the end he goes with his dad

This going to be a long one 😂

🐼💕~

Escape, Friend, Return ( Zoro,x male!child!reader x Sanji)

A/N: You were not wrong this was long 😳, at least compared to what im used to. When I was writing I was like this wont be so long, and then I was oh…

Dividers by @/saradika

Reader squeaks, avoiding another cannonball heading his way as he flies away

Finally, he managed to reach his destination, an emergency boat intended for use if the main ship sank.

Reader, however, had a much different intention for said boat, intending to escape his captivity at the hands of Captain Krieg.

Don Krieg's face drops as he watches the ship take off.

"Shoot the little rat down!"

Another shriek escapes him as he raises the sails, giving the small boat speed and creating distance from Krieg and the incoming cannonballs

'Shoot for the sails!'.

Don-Kreich and the rest of his crew frantically fire their remaining cannons.

He flinches as one of the cannonballs lands dangerously close, the small boat shaken by the force of the waves created in turn

He sighs with relief as he makes enough distance from the main boat to be out of range of the canon

“I did it…” he mutters, the reality of what just happened to him hitting the young boy as they slowly sink down, rogue tears gradually increasing until a river of tears fell from his eyes, sobbing for his father and the safety on his embrace, exhaustion catching up to him as sleep enveloped him.

Reader was woken up by the ship impacting with a much bigger boat

“Ow,” he whines, rubbing his head, looking up and awing; he had stumbled upon a giant ship if one could call it that, a fish making the underside with a building in the middle.

“B..?” he squints at the words in front of the weird shape, unable to make out what the collection of letters read; he flutters up and into the vast ship.

He sneaks all the way towards where he sees bustling of people, hiding behind a pillar and peeking out, spotting a blond man smoking on the railings of the ship

He squeaks as the man turns his head his way, and he quickly dart back behind the pillar

“Hmm?” Sanji watches the strange sight, tilting his head

Reader peeks his head out again, taking a glimpse at the man, darting back once they see the man staring at him

Sanji watches the child curiously before heading over to the person of interest

He squeals as he peeks out again, only to see the man right before him, slowly backing away, tears welling in his eyes

Sanji looks at the child, his expression softening

“Hey, what are you doing out here all alone?”

“I-I I “

Sanji kneels down in front of the boy.

“Are you alright?” he asks

“I -I want my daddy.”

Sanji looks concerned. “Do you know where he is?” he asks

He shakes their head

“Oh…how about you just come with me to my kitchen then…we can get something to eat at least,” Sanji says

He stares at his hand hesitantly

“Hey, I won’t hurt you, alright? You look like you could use a nice meal. C’mon,” he says, offering his hand

He slowly puts his hands over his

Sanji gently takes the little hand as he starts walking, headed to the kitchen

“What’s your name, kid?” he asks

“Reader”

“And where are you from, Reader?”

“Ummm, im from Papa’s island!”

“Hmm…and how did you end up all alone out here?”

“A bad guy took me,” he said, stretching his wings out

“I see…let’s see if we can find you some food then, ok?” Sanji takes the boy to the kitchen

“Okay!”

Sanji puts the little one on a chair before making them some food

“Here…” Sanji gives him a warm bowl of soup

“Thank you, Mister!”

“You’re welcome…” Sanji says kindly

“That was really yummy, Mister.” he smiles, kicking his feet and lightly flapping his wings in content

“Umm, what's your name, Mister?”

“My name is Sanji…nice to meet you, Reader.”

“Hi, Hi, Sanji!”

“Oi Assitant Headchef Sanji! We need you on the floor! We don’t have any waiters! They ran off yesterday!”

Sanji looks up from his workstation and then turns back to the child; he sighs

“I gotta help these idiots out there. Could you wait for me on the platform? You have a nice view from there; once im done, I‘ll help you find your father; does that sound good?”

“Okay! But you have to promise to come back and help me find Daddy!”

Sanji smiles.

“Do not worry, im a man of my word. Go on now and wait for me there; I’ll be there shortly.”

"Okay." he smiles flying toward the upper balcony

The next hour was a blur to the small child, from meeting the future King of the pirates on the balcony to seeing him comedically try to convince Sanji to join his crew to laughing joyously as Luffy and Zoro quarrel to a feeling of fear and dread enveloped him as the familiar gold armored man came barging in, carried by the hungry man, asking for food and pummeling Sanji to the ground and shooting all the chefs when he received the food but did received refusal to his demand of handing the restaurant To him.

He now found themselves crying in the hands of the blond cook as he soothed down his loud sobs and cries.

Sanji sighs softly as he takes a handkerchief and gently wipes his tears

"Hey, Hey, it's okay; he's not gonna touch you again, darling."

"H-H-he came back, he came back, and Mister Sanji and the others got hurt!"

"Hey now, I will never let anyone hurt you, alright?" Sanji pulls the child close to him

He grunts as Don Krieg starts demanding food for his crew; needing food to feed a hundred people, he gently passes over the kid over to Zoro, who happens to be the closest to him; once they had managed to calm down the child, their sobs now simply reduced to heavy breathing.

"Stay here, Darling, i'll be right back

"Where are you going?" a chef questions

"Im going to the kitchen to prepare enough food for a hundred people," he mutters, taking a drag from his cigarette as chaos erupted in the restaurant once again, punches being delivered until Zeff walked out and handed a bag full of food for Krieg's crew

Zoro rolls his eyes, glancing down at the child. In his arms

"Oi, where are your parents?" he questions

"I don't know where Daddy is."

"Who is your dad?"

"Umm, Daddy!

"Of course," He grunts

"....That hawk-eyed man whose glare is sharp enough to kill a man," the hungry man mutters as they both tune in back to the conversation

"That's Daddy!"

"What?!" he said, ruffling through his pockets and pulling out a wrinkled old paper with a familiar face on it

"Is this your father?"

"That's Daddy!"

"You're the child of H-

His discovery Is cut short as a tremendous force cuts the huge galleon in half, making the baratie sway violently.

"Look out!" He growls, moving reader out of the way as the swaying throws the chairs and tables around, almost taking with it Reader.

He squeals at the sudden collision and movement; they look up a Zoro

"Are you okay?"

He, however, does not respond, eyes glued in front of him, staring at the ship that was slowly sinking to the sea, and in front of it floated a raft with a familiar man sitting on it.

"DADDY!" he cheers, wriggling out of Zoro's grasp to fly towards their father, barreling right into him

Mihawk catches the young child, gently holding him in one arm.

"There, there..."

"You're here," he mutters

Mihawk nods, gently running his fingers through his hair

"I am," he says, looking down at him

"Are you unharmed? Did they hurt you?" he said, gesturing to Zoro and their aquentainces.

He shakes his head

"They helped me, they gave me food, and they took care of me."

He hums at their answer

"Damn you, what did we do to you?! Why the hell did you have to follow us all the way out here!" a crewmate of Krieg sneered, pulling out two guns and shooing the swordsman

"Why? What impertinence to ask such a question; I came because you had the nerve to take something from me," he said, deflecting the bullets from him and his child with ease.

"You really are the strongest... I set sail to meet you," Zoro says, slowly stepping closer

Mihawk glances at him and then down at Reader.

"Stay here; I will return shortly," he said, placing him down in the raft and stepping into what remained of Krieg's ship towards the ex-pirate hunter

They engaged in a few words and then engaged in the one-way battle, Mihawk not moving from his spot as he easily bested the green head with his tiny dagger; impressed with his ambition, ferocity, and conviction, he asked for his name, and gave him his respect and honor of bringing him down with all of his force, using Yoru.

"Stand Strong, Roronoa; I will wait for you at the top. No matter how many months or years pass, I will wait for you to surpass my sword."

He smiles as he watches as Zoro raises his sword and promises Luffy never to lose again

"You make a good team; I'd like to see you in the future. You have my thanks and respect for taking care of Reader while I was gone," He says, walking away to his raft and scooping said child, smiling again as they giggle and nuzzle into them.

"Farewell

Okay, y’all im not used to something this long especially for it to be following canon so closedly so idk I feel like its a flop, I don’t feel that usual 🥰 vibe, ya know? I did have to start skipping and resuming some parts, cause well I don’t want ya to read a manuscript of the manga…

Taglist:

@imaginarydreams

@amethystviolin

[fatphobiabusters]

I keep yo-yo dieting as early as age 12. Currently in my mid 20s. The lowest weight I even been is 180. Highest was somewhere in the 200-mid 200s.

And ughhhhh I’m so tired. I’m so tired of the anxiety about food and weight. I keep having periods where I love my body and eat anything I want, but then anytime I accidentally overeat and feel nauseous, I come crashing back down and feel so gross.

It majorly dosnt help that half of my family are fat phobic and food obsession health. Like, a family member literally said multiple times I should get a ED to help me lose weight……Since I can’t metaphorically leave my house, I’m stuck….:idk what to do? It feels like I’m trap in a never ending circle.

This isn't an easy situation, and I bet a lot of people are in this boat with you. I wish your family would listen to your feelings and treat you with compassion. Nobody, including you, should be encouraged to develop an eating disorder, let alone by a member of their own family. You deserve to live a life that doesn't involve being told to abuse your body into temporary thinness.

Fatphobic family members definitely make life as a fat person harder, and that's often elevated during the holidays. Here's some coping mechanisms you can try to help you while interacting with your family:

Find a space you can go to by yourself to cool down while dealing with fatphobic family members. Maybe that's sitting on a porch, taking a walk outside, or even hanging out in your room. Having stuff with you to help you destress while you're cooling down can also be beneficial. This could be headphones for listening to music, a sketchbook for drawing, a stim toy, etc.

If this is a temporary situation, like being at a family member's house for dinner, and you're also with somebody you trust, make a plan with that person for when family members bring up diet culture. A secret word, a tap on the shoulder, a text to their phone that let's them know you want to leave/change the conversation. Even just knowing you have somebody there with you who understands how you're feeling can be helpful.

You can try to change the subject when your family starts talking about weight. You can also do this subtly if you need to by switching to a topic somewhat related to the original conversation. For example, if somebody is talking about exercising in a diet culture manner, you could ask if they go on walks and where their favorite place to walk is. If somebody is talking about their diet recipes, start talking about a new recipe you've tried recently that your family members "have to try." If a family member says they've gained or lost weight, ask them what else has been happening in their life. And if changing the subject doesn't work, there's hopefully the options of putting on headphones or leaving the space.

Surround yourself with as much fat positivity as you can. That's easier said than done, but even a few fat positive posts may help you turn around a bad day. You could also try creating some of your own fat positive posts/works, if that sounds fun to you.

If this is possible, you can set goals for what you need to do to leave your family home and live away from your family. Mark those goals on a piece of paper so you can check them off. Every time you get closer to your goal of living away from your family, that progress will likely help you have the strength to deal with your family members for the time being. These goals can be saving a certain amount of money, finishing the next semester of school, finding a better job, etc.

These are just a few ideas off the top of my head. Any followers who also have tips, please let us know in the notes.

As for accidentally overeating and feeling nauseous, I relate to that not being a great feeling. Try to ride out that feeling of discomfort. Tell yourself that the feeling will pass whether you act on that feeling or not. As somebody who knows a lot about OCD recovery, you have to teach yourself to sit with the discomfort (or the uncertainty, in the case of OCD) and let that discomfort pass. It will take time to get better at this, but you deserve food no matter what.

-Mod Worthy

[crsssie]

cressie's archive : drafts/unposted

here is EVERY SINGLE UNFINISHED DEVELOPED DRAFT I have :3

Danganronpa

cruel summer // wrecked at sea

The setting sun paints you in red, the image terrifying yet so comforting to the boy. You look like the devil. Komaeda hears the sound of the boat approaching the dock in the background. "I'll see you in five years, Komaeda."

prom queen // ultimate pageant queen reader

Servant watches, heart heavy, mind a mess. That was supposed to be him. He's supposed to be the one to serve you. He feels you had taken what he said personally. It wasn't like he was wrong, but maybe he did need to apologize for not taking your emotions seriously.

white (lies) // eating disorder

You despise the taste of food on your lips, yet you lie to Teruteru about how delicious his cooking was. Komaeda hates people like you

(untitled) // yokai au // dead dove do not eat

Komaeda sighs as he turns into a human, and he grumbles. He didn't want to hex the area, but if he's going to have to find you, then so be it. If you die because of some unfortunate accident again, he's going to kill himself for real this time. 

and baby when it's love if it's not rough it isn't fun // pt of gambling au

Komaeda works to pay back that debt. Would you still pick him if he wasn't yours by force?

gold // isekaied reader

Chiaki clings onto you, unsure as to why you ran so fast, yet she spots her classmates rushing after you while you run. She sees the interest that flashes across Kamukura's face. She notices the ragged breath you run downhill with. Chiaki doesn't know what you're so scared of; yet, as you slam the door behind you, breath ragged, tears streaming, Chiaki thinks she knows.

(untitled) // future foundation ultimate god reader

Hinata is right. You don't like the look you took to be in the foundation. It crawls at your skin uncomfortably, and it looks nothing like how you were supposed to look. What happened to your hair? Your face? Your skin and limbs? You miss when you never took a form.

from elysium, with love // hades game au

With a spin of your robe, you're gone. Hinata stares at where you once were, and he does wonder how you do what you do. The incarnate of death. Hinata liked the cold of death. Your touch was welcome on his warm skin, even more so to his legs which burn of the lakes of Tartarus. The touch of death was welcome to him.

hype boy // food vlogger + college // dual pov fic

while vlogging at the newest cafe on campus, you pay Hinata $15 to bite and record him swallowing the coffee puck. He goes viral as a result.

DC

was it real or just for show? // engaged

You fly out because Tim Drake doesn't care for you anyway. Why is he so adamant about finding you if he doesn't give a shit and returns late all the time?

i want you for worse or for better // mercenary + royal

First Prince Dick Grayson has just had his engagement broken. That very night, he shows up at the pub you work at, drowning out his sorrows in enough liquor to kill an elephant

Red 19 // gambling + casino

Coin in your hand and wealth given to the neighborhood, you wonder if Red Hood is truly as unbreakable as everyone makes him out to be.

"Let's get married" // arranged marriage + soulmates // COMPLETED

When Tim's soulmate is slapped at a Wayne Gala, it seems natural that he should abuse soulmate laws and force them out of their abusive house. Too bad you're adamant about killing yourself.

High school, hi school // high school

Damian only knows you as the other artist in his class. When he crashes into your apartment on accident mid-fight, he worries you'll speak up on it. You don't, and when he turns you down at graduation, the story is supposed to end there.

surface, subface // hades game au

Tim doesn't remember why he still breaks out when his mother is already home? What is it? What is he missing? Why is there an aide managing mother's cottage now?

to live, to love, to lie // metahuman reader

You spend most of your time partying. Being overstimulated and numb was better than being understimulated and numb. A walking phonebook. A walking encyclopedia. Kon finds you partying one night, and one look is all he needs to grab you.

you're not mine // exes au

Tim never got to tell you he was Red Robin when you were dating, so he takes advantage of that and visits your art studio at night to hang out. Nevermind the fact that he was in the middle of divorce processions with his wife or whatever.

Tears of Themis

emerald green // arranged marriage

Years ago, Vyn remembers the feeling of his hand in yours, and both of you are unhappy. In current day, he navigates the murky waters of his feelings for you with you back with him.

Lovebrush Chronicles / For All Time

lion // high school au

When Lars transfers to your school, his flamboyancy evokes eyes from everyone — Including you. You long to be free like him.

Resident Evil / Biohazard

red means i love you // mutual stalking

"Almost forgot you." You grab the teddy, holding it by the hand as you turn it to face the wall in the bathroom. "I still don't appreciate you watching me and not letting me see you, y'know, Ada?" You start the shower, feeling for it as you huff. "What's the fun in sending you lego roses each day with cameras inside if you only keep them at your counter?"

the dead haunt the dead // government agent + plagas

"Are you here to finally kill me?" You stare at Leon, same plagas scars on your face, eyes now the same color as Saddler's prior to his death. Leon can't pull the trigger.

(untitled) // medieval knight Leon // COMPLETED

The fire crackles in your eyes, ashes burning and shattering as you stare, words tumbling out of your heart, eyes weary with an age that should not be possible to you. You look both wounded and aged. Leon has only ever seen those eyes on the men who live til sixty, white visible in both their hair and eyes, old age consuming them until they are a shell of their previous self. You should not be capable of such emotion.

american dream // Nouveau Riche + Gatsby 1920s Leon

Leon Scott Kennedy lacks nothing. A pool the size of Lake Michigan, a tennis court the size of an acre, a bathroom the size of a factory. Leon Scott Kennedy lacks nothing.

Call of Duty

signed puck: signed, luck // Hockey AU Simon Riley

He wants a minx? You'll give him one.

Hades Game

son of apollo, lover of none

Ion is in your care, and Apollo begs that you stay

No promises any of this gets finished but this is for anyone who's ever been curious abt how much shit ends up in the graveyard also feel free to leave a comment or ask if u really want me to finish smth from this list bc like everything here is alr like 2k+ words

[ravenelyx]

Meanderings and Boats - Sebastian Sallow

Pairing: Sebastian Sallow x GN!Reader

Words: 0.5k

Chapter Warnings: angst and bitterweet comfort, Sebastian needs a hug, Sebastian is also sad, sad date, House or gender is not specified, (implied) established relationship, use of 2nd person for the reader

Summary: Sebastian has lost too many people, and he thinks it's all he deserves. So what authority does he have to hope for better treatment?

A/N: Haven't written anything in a while.

Masterlist

you can find the whole fic on ao3 as well <3

-

It instilled in him, a sense of duty chaining around his chest. First thing in the morning, he searches for you to assure himself you haven't taken off.

He knows you would, without telling him, too. It had always been your nature to explore and loiter around the Highlands: that's how you manage that beautiful vivarium he loves so much.

But he's tired. He wants you with him. He wants to be enough.

Sebastian can't wrap his brain around your preference for the Highlands. You're his first thought when he wakes up, but he isn't yours. You're the face he wishes to see at lunch, while you're eating a sandwich somewhere in the grass.

He makes up little things to make you stay: he buys you flowers, but you forget to water them; he waits awake for you in the Room of Requirement when night had descended on his droopy eyelids; he plans dates you don't show up to.

The small boat sways on the gentle, wet waves of the lake, coronated by wet little sloshes. Not of the shore, no.

He moves his fingers to his eyes and dries them momentarily, leading way to fresher waterfalls. He doesn't know why he keeps perking his ears, loath to accept the inevitable proof of your absence in the mere hoots of faraway birds. Their companionship in the owlery, their duty of bringing two people together by words, a mockery.

He blames them for the lost letter he sent you.

A hand weights suddenly on his shoulder and his heart jumps up, inevitably. A broken, bleeding, warm traitor. He turns, because forgiveness belongs to him only when it comes to you.

"I'm a bit late, aren't I?" you say sheepishly, and he can't be mad. Because, after all, you showed up.

He moves to wipe dirt from your cheek. "Not at all... here."

Sebastian gives you his seat, he holds your hand as you cross the water with a hop, and holds you when you lose balance.

"Had business in Aranshire. I found myself there and had to free a house from spiders," you say. It's not a justification, nor an apology. It just is what it is, and it's not enough for Sebastian but he accepts it anyway.

"I waited for you this morning..." he blurts out, a complain, inequivocally embarassed like he'd do you a disservice.

"I'm sorry." Your eyes turn sympathetic and you move to hold his hand. And just like that, he thinks it's not that bad. Because despite everything, you stayed when no one did, and that should be enough.

"It's alright."

"You can aways tell me if you need something... I'm new to this." You gesture towards the both of you and he nods.

It was new to him, too, and he'd give up his soul to keep it. But parts of him had started to crumble and he needed you to patch him up best you could.

"I need you to water the flowers..." he mumbles and you agree.

"I'll put them in the vivarium."

And just like that, you cage it away. Lock it somwhere he can't reach or see, where he can only trust that you would care for it, where he has no access.

Sebastian will just wait for spring, when he can buy flowers again.

[notmorbid]

their vicious games.

dialogue prompts from their vicious games by joelle wellington.

life has never felt like a game to me.

stand up straight, honey.

there's no place for me here. there never was.

i've got to look better than 'nice'.

no wonder they're secretly terrified of you.

you don't have to prove anything to everyone.

you always make me feel like i'm the main character in a movie.

with knowledge comes the responsibility to know when to keep your mouth shut.

rich people aren't weirdos, they're 'eccentric'.

i don't believe in fate. not for people like me.

everything is going to change, but maybe it should.

you have a smart mouth. i like that.

i can't believe you showed your face here.

what makes you think that there are no rules?

all i want is for you to do better than i did.

if you open the box, there's no turning back.

you pretend you have nothing to say, but i can tell you do.

i know i don't belong, but it only makes me want it more.

i could be convinced with a well-structured argument.

why are you apologizing for ___?

it's fine. i'm fine. i just need to breathe.

you'll never be one of us, and you shouldn't want to be.

getting them before they get you is the only way to win.

what is going on? no talking around the real answer. tell me the truth.

i suspected, but i didn't know. not for sure.

i have to disappear myself.

god, this house is creepy.

will you trust me to help you?

i could have made you prouder. i should have made you prouder.

you look different without your makeup.

get a fucking grip. this isn't a period drama.

you're an adult now. you can pick your own friends.

fearful people make boring conversationalists.

what do you like to eat?

i worry you won't recognize me when i get out.

there are so few secrets when one revels in their own wickedness.

the trick about lying is that you have to believe yourself, for anyone else to believe you.

there is nothing worse than a boy who is lovely and knows it.

i'd do anything for you. be anything for you.

when has a girl ever been allowed to want?

if you don't stop it, you're endorsing it.

there's something different about you.

integrity doesn't mean much to the dead.

it's been so long since i felt anything but afraid.

you strike me as sneaky.

you think you have me figured out yet?

i don't remember it, but the body keeps the score, right?

there are no girls like me. there is only me.

i'd rather you hate me than you be dead.

are you ready to behave?

you are playing a dangerous game, and you will lose.

i am not one to be vexed. people get hurt when i am.

don't get soft on me now.

you're wearing boat shoes? unironically?

you don't get to walk away from me.

why do i take up so much space in your head? i'm practically living there rent-free.

i've got your back. do you have mine?

we are long past sense. sense doesn't belong here.

how do you think i'm feeling?

you're just like your father in a different font.

i've seen enough. i've heard enough. i've had enough.

my loyalty is to ____ alone.

i don't want to hurt you.

why can't you just leave me alone?

i saved you because you weren't going to save yourself.

it's all so easy for you, isn't it?

if you're not going to stop bad things from happening, have the decency to watch. eyes open.

i could love you. i know i could.

your room looks like you.

you were always so disappointing.

i won't leave you until i have to.

____ would want more for you.

stop throwing yourself in front of projectile objects for me.

i'm pretty sure if we survive this, i'm going to have a goddamn concussion.

i'm not the villain of your story.

i don't think i'll ever be sure of anything again.

even my eyes have betrayed me over and over again.

is that what you think of me?

i think that you ruin everything you touch. you want to devour everything you see.

i'm still here.

i didn't know you could cook.

are you sure you don't want to do anything different?

you're the only person who understands.

i never want to forget about you.

don't touch my shit.

i don't know if i'll ever be okay.

there will always be someone new to become.

[nyerus]

Hi! I would love to hear your thoughts about classism in TGCF, but specifically regarding XL. It surprised me to see people hating on XL for not knowing or doing better during his teenage years of luxury as the crown prince and making XL a complete villain because he didn't take down classism and restructure society despite still being a kid himself. It struck me as odd that the fandom is well aware of his 800 years in poverty but also not really addressing the fact that XL, too, is a victim of classism albeit a little different from someone like MQ.

Hi there! So sorry it's taken me this long to get to this ask, I've just been in sort of a funk for a few days haha.

But yeah, this is definitely a topic that comes up from time to time, with lots of discussion about. It surprises me that despite that, there are still people (maybe just newer fans? idk) who still hate on Xie Lian for his naive views as a 17yo. Especially since, despite being a naive 17yo, he still really wanted to help people less fortunate than himself. He didn't quite understand how to do this in the most effective ways (because he was a teenager), so it came off as somewhat patronizing as he was a person in a position of power compared to everyone else. Yet his desire to help people was genuine, and he didn't personally think of "common folk" as being any lesser than "royalty" -- even though in this case, there kind of literally was a difference. (E.g. when Lang Ying goes from being a commoner to a king, he gets a "kingly aura" that protects him!) So it's honestly kind of incredible that Xie Lian is willing to say things like "I think people are equal, even gods and humans, and if the Heavens disagree with me, then it's the Heavens that are wrong" with his entire heart.

I imagine a large part of the hate Xie Lian gets from certain fans is jealousy or resentment, due to the fact that Xie Lian was "born privileged." But on it's own, "privilege" is not "the great enemy" -- it's what said privilege means in the context of society, and what someone does/doesn't do with it that merits judgement. Xie Lian doesn't fully understand the privilege he had until he loses it (again: because he was 17!), but he still understood it enough to use it to protect and help people. That's more than many other characters can say. Him starting out as a prince doesn't automatically disqualify him from class struggles or the horrors of poverty. It's nonsensical to think so, when this is a character who literally spent almost 800 years busking for scraps, while sleeping in dirt outside and eating garbage….

On the flip side, as you mentioned Mu Qing -- yes, he was a victim of classism. But he's a very strange figure to use as the poster boy for that, though he often is by people who are critical of Xie Lian. This may be a controversial take, despite it being something I think that makes the character of Mu Qing really interesting: but he's a very "typical" guy within the concept of classism. He's someone who started off with a bad lot, but then ended up ascending to the highest point you pretty much can in that world/society. Which is great! He did that through hard work, and it paid off! But now, since he got his "happy ending," that's kind of it for him. He doesn't do anything to materially improve the lives of those less fortunate, especially those he has no personal connection with. This doesn't make him a bad person -- it's not really his job to that, even as a god. He's a martial god, so he's there to subdue threats and all that. Yet you can clearly see, that's exactly the type of person society values because such "rags to riches" stories give legitimacy to the whole system, and because they don't rock the boat once they're on top.

So then it's odd to be angry at Xie Lian but not Mu Qing (or others) for the lack of some "grand revolution" that some readers seem to want.

Ironically, Xie Lian used what power he had to try and help people -- and he was worse off for it. If he had done nothing, he would have been able to live a happy and carefree life. He would have lived and died as a rich prince/king with no troubles. Like, that's the point! The societies we live in punish those who want to broadly help others or make meaningful change, while rewarding those who quietly play the game for themselves -- because it helps keep the wheels turning. It doesn't matter at "what end" of the spectrum you start out on, the rules apply the same way. If you go against the establishment, there's a price to be paid.

Throughout Xie Lian's long journey, he learns this lesson the hard way. And the fact that in order to change it, he would somehow have to change the hearts and minds of pretty much everyone -- which is an impossible ask. How is he even supposed to that, or restructure society as a whole, without vast amounts of collateral damage? In the end, Xie Lian discovers that he was not wrong in his desire to help people, even if he cannot help everyone. He can still help people he meets in whatever ways he can, and that is still important. To show kindness, mercy, and empathy towards your fellow man is worth it. Helping your neighbors or complete strangers you meet once and then never again -- all that is still worth it.

I wish I had the time to sit down and really talk about this in a more organized way, but these disjointed thoughts are all I can manage at the moment! I hope it was still valuable to you in some way, and thank you for sending in the ask!

(Also, I recently reblogged a post that talked about something similar if you wanna check it out, Anon. It's right under the manhua highlights I think!)

[mental-mouthful]

Hickey for the character asks pls? 👉👈

ohohoho! lovey suggestion !! i am always down to talk about a fellow ratt, so yes of course!

First Impression: IS THAT FUCKING HICKEY?? THE FERRET FACED FUCK I HATED WITH MY WHOLE BEING? THAT'S HIM? THEY MADE HIM A FUCKING TWINK???? People better not be fucking woobifying him i swear to god...

Impression Now: ohh noo. oh no my worst fear has come to life... i like hickeyyyy i like him a lotttt. i feel like this is how billy feels just "oh god. oh god is this working for me? son of a bitch it's working" On a real note though, he is sooo fascinating to me. He's a lot more genuine than i think people give him credit for. He's just so paranoid and has been taught to be so self-sufficient that it overrides any actual connection he might make with people. When given the chance to help, he does so, even if it is often tied to making himself look good. He didn't have to help Manson and Hartnell take Hornby's body down. He could've just cut in to undermine Irving and left it at that. He didn't have to grave rob to propose to Billy. He could've left everyone to burn in the carnival. (The fact he gutted McDonald do so and only looked as upset as "you fucking idiot, you stained my knife"... well that's just the other half of his personality showing) But he does all that. bc he does care. in his own twisted, detached way. Adam Nagaitas said something to this tune in an interview and its like. yeah!! he does care!! ...he just cares about getting himself on top (👀) more than any of that.

Favorite Moment: Goddddd what a hard question. Is it bugger victoria? (shout out fitzjamesbulletwound) Is it ratt wedding? (his smile is so sweet) is it his speech at the gallows? ("BUT ABANDONING HIS SHIP!!! SHOULD NOT BE AMONG THEMMM ☝️") i could be predictable and say its him taking his lashing like a fucking champ. his cheeky fucking smile throughout really encapsulates his "fuck you, I'll endure just to spite you" attitude. No it's not any of that. It's his casual smoke after he and billy get caught. it's really indicative of his personality and the unshakable force he'll be in the narrative. "there's worse things than being lashed ;)"

Idea for a Story: would loveeee to do a deep dive into his past. even if leaving it a mystery is more compelling, I'd really like to see what kinda menace he is on the streets of england.

Unpopular Opinion: that he actually doesn't want to eat people. he wasn't going into this with the hope that they'd turn cannibal. the situation had just gotten so dire and his lead poisoning and/or god compex had corroded his brain so bad he probably thought it made him an apex predator.

Favorite Relationship: He's got so many delicious dynamics to choose from but I think I'll go Crozier. He wants to be his friend. He wants to usurp him. He wants to fuck him. He wants to kill and eat him. He doesn't want his men to rough him up. He greatly looks forward to having a chat with him at the end of the world. He chains him to a boat.

Favorite Headcanon: that he plays the piano. and he's not great, but he knows his way around it. and its great fun to play for a crowd of belligerently drunk assholes who dont know the difference.

ANYWAYS THANK U THANK U FOR GIVING ME A REASON TO TALK ABOUT THIS FREAK <3333

[the-golden-vanity]

"This is a normal collection of books," says person whose #1 song of the year on Spotify was "The Wake of the Medusa".

[blood-orange-juice]

I want to overanalyze everything Arle says and how others interact with her. 4.1 spoilers ahead

(meanwhile Fontaine is the nation of human trafficking, actual slums exist and the law doesn't really apply to the wealthy)

She's very good at being unsettling. Half of what she says is a double-bind, she states things and the opposite of them at the same time. It's not even lies, she just rules out any possibility of truth. A conversation strategy the only goal of which is to throw people off balance. This creates a feeling that she might stab you right now in broad daylight or maybe give you a poisoned piece of cake.

A truly lovely woman.

Also an interesting parallel:

(first meeting with Furina and Arle's farewell to us)

Similar words but we understand what she meant each time, right? She's good. One has to constantly guess with her. It's your fault if you guessed incorrectly.

Demanding too much before she voices her actual request. The classics of bargaining. Again, she's good.

Traveler: "he would not fucking say that"

Personally, I think she's bullshiting to check our reaction. One of the best ways of getting information out of someone is to say a thing that is obviously untrue.

As a side note: interesting how hoyo are keeping the story suitable for all headcanons. Haters and indifferent people "know" that he had no chance of learning what food the traveler likes (their character doesn't interact with the boy that much). Shippers can "know" that we share Childe's love for spicy seafood and honey roast, not cake. Shippers who like cake can assume that she reads his letters. I also don't think he knows anything about Arle's taste in desserts, he's too self-centered for that. Anyway, lovely.

Alternative: it's a metaphor. This is obviously not a tea party, it's a battlefield. Childe would totally say *that*. But that's too subtle for most players, I doubt hoyo would do it.

Everyone who had read Tartaglia's actual letters to home stifled a laugh there. Anyone who has *seen* our dear boy really. He doesn't write about what he contemplates or feels, only about actions. Here's a headache medicine for our dear father. Please tell Anton that people in Liyue don't eat stones, it would be ridiculous. I'll take the first boat home once I've finished making a bloodbath out of this lovely city.

(a reminder in case anyone forgot)

So. Bullshiting again. Is she trying to check how close we are? Or to demonstrate that she doesn't, in fact, read his letters (even if she does)? I'm not considering the option that she's actually clueless, she's the Fatui spymaster after all.

(if she's trying to learn from us how to mimic his style to get to his family it would mean she's clueless and it would be bad writing)

Also I know that a lot of people are shouting "have you forgotten about the Vision??? stupid traveler, you have a proof that he's alive" and honestly I'm surprised. Why would we want to share *any* information with her? The traveler was visibly upset when Paimon blurted what she blurted. Also, yeah, let's tell a totalitarian country military official that her colleague recently gave one of his favorite weapons to an enemy of the state. Surely it will go swimmingly. That was intentional.

And then her farewell and her thanking us for helping the twins. Her unhingedness is suddenly gone. She might not be genuine but there's no double bind at least. She starts to say things that could be true or untrue.

Also this:

Not even a guess that the Gnosis could be used to power the Oratrice? After the Akasha terminal plot it's a pretty obvious option to anyone, would she really miss something like that?

Is she trying to push us to do something? It's hard for me to believe that she genuinely doesn't understand. But also she shares that info about a curse. Meh. I don't understand what's happening here.

[st-el-la-luna]

Thinking about König

Mainly, thinking about his anxiety being like my anxiety. It's social anxiety but more than the "oh no, people, scary!" That people tend to generalize it as.

That's not to say that it isn't like that. Yes, people are intimidating, especially large groups of them. Or if you're being put in a command position. Or if you're in a position to be judged... Which is most situations. (Public speaking, especially for school projects is especially bad).

But it's not just shyness. It's also the aversion.

Walking through the halls, with a dead sort of stare. Not intentionally intimidating, but it's very much a resting bitch face, look at me and I'll kill you sort of expression.

Saying as little as possible to people he's not comfortable with.

"yes."

"no."

"I don't like that."

"I don't want to."

"we are not friends."

Staring so intently at people that it unsettles them.

"-and that's why I think... Why... It's... Is everything okay, Colonel?"

"Ja, why?"

"You're, uh... You're looking very intently."

"This is just how I look. Eye contact is important."

"uhh... Right, it's just... I haven't seen you blink?"

"I blink when you blink."

Like, yes, of course there are situations where he gets mousy voiced or sweaty palms. But not at work, no. At work he's able to conjure up, maybe not confidence, but something.

At a restaurant though? Speaking softly, making himself small, saying please and thank you after every sentence. It doesn't matter what the server does, he's always soft spoken and polite, nervous. If he asks for no pickles and they bring him his dish with pickles, he'll eat it. If he orders a chicken sandwich and they bring him a burger, he'll eat it. If he tells them that he has a deadly peanut allergy and they bring him a tub of peanut butter... He'll send that back, but he'll be polite about it.

"Oh, ja, I'm sorry, I... This isn't what I ordered. Oh, no, no, it's okay, don't apologize. I'm sorry. You're busy. It's fine, I understand."

Sometimes during mission briefs he will randomly growl and smack his fist on the table. People think he's mad at them and straighten up, stop sipping so loud, on their best behaviour. He actually just got mad at himself, remembered something embarrassing from his past.

He almost acts like a narcissist. Passes by a mirror, winks at his reflection: "How's it going, good looking?"

Makes jokes about being the pretty one. People think he's full of himself.

He actually hates himself but has replaced negative self talk with show boating. He doesn't hate himself any less, but he tells himself to kill himself way less often!

Always has some sort of plan. An escape route, a plan of attack. Watching the people around him nervously.

Sits in the back of the room so he can watch everybody. Sits with his chair pushed far back so he can stand quicker.

Glares at people who walk by. Gives their dogs heart eyes. Prays that the owners realize and ask him if he wants to say hello. He's too awkward to ask permission. And he's too angry looking for people to offer.

Represses lots of anger from incidents he feels he can't lash out in, goes batshit in training or on missions. (I used to do kick boxing, the gym people had to keep coming up to me and moving my punching bag back because I was hitting it too hard).

The kind of person to, when going to someone's house, immediately look for signs of a pet. If he finds it. The animal is now his best friend. Goes to a party hangs with the dog type of beat.

Thinks smoking pot would help him. But the idea makes him nervous. Which he thinks, smoking pot would help... But the idea of smoking pot makes him nervous. But he–

Will just lie to get out of shit.

"Hey, we're going to get drinks tonight, do you want to come?"

"ah, I can't... I promised to get dinner with a friend."

Goes home and enjoys a night alone.

Avoidant. Will just not do things that cause him stress. Hasn't been to the dentist in years because talking to the lady at reception makes him nervous. What if the phone signal is bad? What if it just keeps breaking up? What if she can't understand his accent? What if when he gets to the dentist they hate him for the state of his teeth? What if he goes to the dentist and they steal his teeth?! It's happened before! He's seen articles!

Gets adopted by extroverts by being unhinged.

"Hey, what are you thinking about?" Horangi asks.

"I heard that human meat tastes like pork... The best pork, actually." König says absently.

"Huh... And you know this why?"

"I was curious."

"okay... Let's go to dinner."

"Ja, let's."

A sort of dry air about him that comes off as a lack of empathy. But he's just got so much going on in his brain that he can't focus on emoting anything but augghskft.

Will stare off into space with a blend of the hundred yard stare and the most murderous expression known to man. He's not mad. He's just thinking.

Undiagnosed autism

Forgets people's names, gets to nervous to ask again. So he just calls everyone "you".

Acts cold and indifferent. He just really hates small talk, doesn't understand it. Why say something if it's not important? He doesn't care about your grandchildren. Or your wife. Or your morning.

Is the world's best host mainly out of fear. Asking if you need food or a drink or a blanket or if–

König who after confrontations, has to take a step back, hands shaking slightly. But who's also still super pissed and ready to throw punches at the drop of a hat

König who worries so much about physical affection that it just becomes too much. Hugs are suffocating, hands are held too tight, cuddling is like being smothers. But it takes him a long time to initiate anything. God forbid you initiate anything. Hug the man and he bluescreens

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Masterlist

[giselberts]

HELLO Greedfall nation i bring you an absolute mess of headcanons that are kind of out of character but it's more about the possibilities. the potential.

vasco pretends that he doesn't care for kids, but he's always the first one in line to tell them about his adventures to impress them. he wants that clout so bad 😤

he also looks like the kind of guy who enjoys a nice hat? what kind of boat captain would he be if he didn't have a hat.

hat collector vasco who gets a new hat every time he's got a little personal victory… but also he has nowhere to store his hats. his tiny little cabin? all full of hats. send him help.

when siora finds out about his hat hobby, she sometimes gives him cool feathers to put in his hat!! and also to the hat wearers in the team, everyone gets cool feathers

when the gang is taking a little rest while there's still light in the sky, siora sometimes gives fun facts about the plant that surround them :)

kurt tries to do the same but instead of plant facts it's just stories about how his good army pal once tried to eat raw nettles. or how another good pal tried to wipe his ass with a leaf that looked exactly like that one over there. "kurt that's poison ivy" "oh. that explains why he wanted to die"

actually. kurt traumatises everyone with cursed army stories. they're not even about stuff he fought in, it's just stuff he witnessed among his fellow soldiers. "i knew a guy called 3-bean john. named that because on the 4th bean he ate he died of allergies" "kurt what"

ok this is diving more into DS territory (one that doesn't romance kurt) BUT HEAR ME OUT. constantin and DS clinging onto kurt when they're kids bc he's just sooo cool and sooo strong… he's their idol but also they don't like how he bosses them around even though that's literally his job? there's a fun little elder brother/younger siblings dynamic between them :)

which means that even when DS and constantin are older, they still do their best to be little shits around kurt. kurt looks at someone? "oooh kurt's got a little crush!" kurt tries to do something nice with his hair? "why do you have a bird's nest on your head. dumbass" kurt buys a new hat? "that is the ugliest thing we've ever seen. please pretend that you don't know us this is so embarrassing"

it annoys kurt but also he does the same in return. DS is flirting with someone on the team? "haha did you know that DS can't tie their shoelaces? do you really want to be seen kissing someone who doesn't know how to tie their shoelaces." (i have nothing against people who cant tie their shoelaces im just bad at coming up with stuff)

siora loves that dynamic between kurt and DS 😭kurt probably teaches her a thing or two on how to harmlessly clown on DS

wait going back to siora and plants. in my heart she teaches DS how to make little flower rings. bonus points if they're in a romance and DS goes "bro if you give me a ring that means we're married in my culture 😳" "bro😳"

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

TF2 Headcanons pt.3 I can't stop. The chokehold is now a death grip.

I guess I'm a TF2 blog now 😮‍💨 (not really complaining, also if you get tired of me posting nothing but hcs let me know what you want to see instead.)

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Ice cream preferences? Ice cream preferences.

Demo probably ordered rum rasin once, thinking it actually had rum in it but actually ended up liking it. I think he also likes pralines and cream or pistachio. He likes wafflecones to an unhealthy extent.

Engie likes anything with peanut butter. He also likes chocolate chip cookie dough. He will eat an entire tub of ice cream, but he deserves it, so it's fine.

Heavy likes all of the traditional flavors, vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, and stuff like that. But he hates neapolitan. He's in the same boat as Engie. They just eat the entire tub together.

Medic loves Cherry Garcia, like unhealthy love. He also really likes anything with strawberry sause (looks like blood, he's a little freak he'd eat ice cream out of a human skull if you let him).

Scout likes cookies and cream. He also really likes dirtcups (hot fudge, chocolate ice cream, crushed oreo, and gummy worms, in case you didn't know). I genuinely think this man can't eat "boring" foods. Like he has to have crunch in his food. He's not allowed to eat in cones anymore. Don't ask him about it. (Also, hc him as lactose intolerant, he just doesn't care.)

When it comes to Sniper, never let him live down the fact that in Australia, they have "Golden Gaytimes." As a viable ice cream option. He doesn't mind them. He gave Scout an aneurysm when he asked if he wanted one. But he's more of a plain chocolate guy. He eats it in out of the tub or in a dish, depending on how he feels.

Spy he likes coffee ice cream and makes it his entire personality. He's so mature for liking it, right guys?? He's just sooooo refined. No scout, you didn't see him ordering a double fudge brownie with sprinkles. They just messed up his order. No, he can't return it now! that'd be rude. (It's in a sugar cone, btw)

Soilder. GIVE THIS MAN HIS RED WHITE AND BLUE BOMBPOPS GOD DAMMIT! I think he also likes Butterscotch and Rocky Road. He likes cake cones.

Pyro loves bubblegum, Superman, and Blue Moon. They eat it in those cones with chocolate and sprinkles on them! They also like the SpongeBob popsicles.

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Pyro time!

They eat cinnamon candy all the time. It's so bad. They have at minimum 9 boxes of redhots on stand-by.

I think Pyro is agender. I think their just okay existing in their own world and have no care about gender.

Give them those fire snakes that change the fires' color and their ecstatic! Their favorite is blue.

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I think these dumbasses have the most random fears ever. None of them are scared of frogs or bugs, but God forbid you mention wooden spoons, and one of them vomits.

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I've seen people say the mercs have board game nights, and I love that idea, so....

Uno is banned. Strictly. It's not even funny. They played it once, and the moment the +4 card was played, all hell broke loose.

They all play poker or Cards Against Humanity at least once a week. Sometimes, they'll pick someone's favorite game to play.

Demo likes Yahtzee and Scrabble. He's just kinda chill like that.

Engie and Pyro both like the same games for the most part. They play Jenga a lot. Also, checkers!

Heavy really likes chess and connect 4.

Do not play board games with Medic. This man has anger issues. But if you really want to, candyland and life are his favorites.

Scout has a hard time playing video games. He can't pay attention at all. But if you play a card game like Red Flags or We're Not Really Strangers, he'll be able to focus on it.

Sniper, Spy, and Soilder all like traditional card games. Black Jack, Cribbage, Eucher, etc.

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Sorry this one is short. Very tired and stressed out right now.

I'm so glad you guys have been liking my posts! I'm smiling like an idiot anytime I open tumblr.