#also yes that 3 bean john thing is very much inspired by that one reddit post about army names

[giselberts]

HELLO Greedfall nation i bring you an absolute mess of headcanons that are kind of out of character but it's more about the possibilities. the potential.

vasco pretends that he doesn't care for kids, but he's always the first one in line to tell them about his adventures to impress them. he wants that clout so bad 😤

he also looks like the kind of guy who enjoys a nice hat? what kind of boat captain would he be if he didn't have a hat.

hat collector vasco who gets a new hat every time he's got a little personal victory… but also he has nowhere to store his hats. his tiny little cabin? all full of hats. send him help.

when siora finds out about his hat hobby, she sometimes gives him cool feathers to put in his hat!! and also to the hat wearers in the team, everyone gets cool feathers

when the gang is taking a little rest while there's still light in the sky, siora sometimes gives fun facts about the plant that surround them :)

kurt tries to do the same but instead of plant facts it's just stories about how his good army pal once tried to eat raw nettles. or how another good pal tried to wipe his ass with a leaf that looked exactly like that one over there. "kurt that's poison ivy" "oh. that explains why he wanted to die"

actually. kurt traumatises everyone with cursed army stories. they're not even about stuff he fought in, it's just stuff he witnessed among his fellow soldiers. "i knew a guy called 3-bean john. named that because on the 4th bean he ate he died of allergies" "kurt what"

ok this is diving more into DS territory (one that doesn't romance kurt) BUT HEAR ME OUT. constantin and DS clinging onto kurt when they're kids bc he's just sooo cool and sooo strong… he's their idol but also they don't like how he bosses them around even though that's literally his job? there's a fun little elder brother/younger siblings dynamic between them :)

which means that even when DS and constantin are older, they still do their best to be little shits around kurt. kurt looks at someone? "oooh kurt's got a little crush!" kurt tries to do something nice with his hair? "why do you have a bird's nest on your head. dumbass" kurt buys a new hat? "that is the ugliest thing we've ever seen. please pretend that you don't know us this is so embarrassing"

it annoys kurt but also he does the same in return. DS is flirting with someone on the team? "haha did you know that DS can't tie their shoelaces? do you really want to be seen kissing someone who doesn't know how to tie their shoelaces." (i have nothing against people who cant tie their shoelaces im just bad at coming up with stuff)

siora loves that dynamic between kurt and DS ��kurt probably teaches her a thing or two on how to harmlessly clown on DS

wait going back to siora and plants. in my heart she teaches DS how to make little flower rings. bonus points if they're in a romance and DS goes "bro if you give me a ring that means we're married in my culture 😳" "bro😳"