#dungeon for one thousand years!!!!

[jodjuya]

Okay, beginning my first ever playthrough of "OXENFREE II"! Excited!

Pre-game thoughts:

Why are there entries in the settings menu for terms of use and privacy policy for what is an entirely single-player offline game??

WHY ARE THOSE ENTRIES JUST A URL INSTEAD OF THE ACTUAL FUCKING DOCUMENTS???

oh cool, they've put a content warning button on the main menu screen, that's so thoughtful of them! I wonder what it says...

4. WHY IS THAT ALSO NAUGHT BUT A URL?!?!?!

😡

[ciderjacks]

An old friend

[dearmyloveleys]

love and hatred each fill half the heart.

大梦归离 (Fangs of Fortune) 2024

(3/?)

[tuuuron]

laios dun meshi save me

[foreskinniest]

Analyzing your likes, I've guesstimated that in about 65% of content depicting partnered sex, the top has a lighter skin tone, in about 10% both have the same skin tone, and in about 25% the bottom has a lighter skin tone. Now, only taking into account content which involves oral sex to some capacity, I got the impression that the 3rd category jumps up significantly.

Dom top? Are you sure you're not just a vers bottom that likes getting head from white guys?

GUARDS, SEIZE HIM!!!

[armandposting]

marius does seem to have a lot of complicated feelings about what he did to armand and I really hope one of them is guilt for his thinking in buying armand originally. he talks in blood and gold about how when he heard armand's mind, the entire reason he wanted him was because he thought, here is a child who has been so hurt that it will be no loss to the world if I make him a vampire. and he wavers on this later and I hope it's because he saw this child make friends and learn things and love rings and watches and swordfighting and realize that actually there is never a child so damaged that taking them from humanity is no loss. I wonder if part of the reason he never tried to talk to armand after seeing him with the children of darkness is that he saw that boy changed into a lonely stoic cult leader with no more will or verve and was too consumed with guilt to even try. I hope that guilt started when he took armand to kiev rus and saw how much armand still loved the family he hadn't seen in years and for a while barely remembered from trauma. also I hope marius explodes into one thousand pieces but that's mostly irrelevant

[the--days]

so it's like this.

you're young and you're scared and you're trapped in the feywild (happens to the best of us) with the love of your life. You're a half-elf and she's a fullblooded elf but you don't think about it very much because you're barely surviving day to day. And you get offered a deal to get yourself home again, and you take it. And the price of your freedom is that you leave her still trapped there, alone.

And then five years pass. And you age a century in that time, and you grow, and you change, and you find her again, and you're still in love, and you meet people, and you lose people, and you love them too, and you learn, and you start wanting a future again, and caring again, taking care of yourself, taking care of other people--

and after all of that, at the end of things, you find out the man responsible for all of the misery in your short, sad life has cast a spell which gives him complete control and ownership of you- mind, body, and soul (again. this happens to the best of us). And you are given the choice to stay under his thrall, and live a thousand years-- or to age and die, like humans do, and to be free of him.

And the love of your life is there, and you're married now, and she's still a full blooded elf, and you're still a half-elf, and you think about what that means a lot more than you used to.

And still, after everything you've learned-- you choose your freedom. You choose leaving her behind.

[dungeon-oracle]

Paper Mario Badges Part 1

I spent a long time converting the Badges from Paper Mario 64 & Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door into items for D&D, and I thought I'd share. Since there's not really a Badge point system in D&D (unless you want to make that a homebrew thing? 3 Badge points per level with a cap of 30 points to spend. . .it could work. . .), and I didn't want them to take up attunement slots, there can only be 3 badges equipped at a time. DM discretion is obviously at play here, go nuts.

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Bump Attack Badge - Badge, rare

While equipped, if you land the first nonmagical melee or ranged attack on an enemy that has otherwise not been damaged, the hit is considered critical. If the attack roll is a natural 20 and meets or exceeds the target's AC, you can roll one extra damage dice in addition to the critical hit. You can only have three badges equipped at one time.

Charge Badge - Badge, very rare

While equipped, you can use an action to charge up power in your body. When you hit a target with your next melee attack, you can treat the hit like a critical success. You can only have three badges equipped at one time.

Charge Strike Badge - Badge, rare

While equipped, you have 3 charges, which replenish on a long rest. As an action, you can spend a charge to build up power for your next strike. You have advantage on the next unarmed melee attack made before the end of your next turn, and on a hit you add +2 to the damage roll.

Chill Out Badge - Badge, rare

While equipped, you cannot be surprised. Additionally, you do not provoke opportunity attacks when moving. You can only have three badges equipped at one time.

Close Call Badge - Badge, uncommon

While equipped, if you are targeted with an attack and the attack hits or you fail your saving throw for a damaging effect, you have a 10% chance of the attack missing or succeeding on the saving throw. Roll a d20. On a roll of 19 or 20, the attack misses or you succeed on the saving throw. You can only have three badges equipped at one time.

Damage Dodge Badge - Badge, uncommon

While equipped, you have +1 to all saving throws. You can only have three badges equipped at one time.

Deep Focus Badge - Badge, very rare

While equipped, you can use an action to pull arcane energy towards yourself, allowing you to regain a number of expended spell slots with a combined level of up to 5th. This ability recharges daily at dawn. You can only have three badges equipped at one time.

Defend Plus Badge - Badge, uncommon

While equipped, you have +1 to AC. You can only have three badges equipped at one time.

Dizzy Attack Badge - Badge, common

While equipped, you have 3 charges, which replenish on a long rest. When making an unarmed strike, on a hit you can spend a charge to force the target to make a DC 13 Constitution saving throw. On a failure, the target becomes stunned until the beginning of your next turn. You can only have three badges equipped at one time.

Dizzy Stomp Badge - Badge, rare

While equipped, you have 3 charges. which replenish on a long rest. When making an unarmed strike, on a hit you can spend a charge to cast Confusion on the target with a DC of 15 or your spell save DC, whichever is higher. You can only have three badges equipped at one time.

Dodge Master Badge - Badge, uncommon

While equipped, you have advantage on Dexterity saving throws. Additionally, when you are subjected to an effect that allows you to make a Dexterity saving throw to take only half damage, you instead take no damage if you succeed on the saving throw, and only half damage if you fail. You can only have three badges equipped at one time.

Double Dip Badge - Badge, rare

While equipped, you can take an extra action in combat. This ability recharges on a long rest. You can only have three badges equipped at one time.

Double Trouble Badge* - Badge, common

While equipped, you deal double the damage with weapon attacks. However, you also take double the damage when hit. You can only have three badges equipped at one time.

*This is actually the Double Pain Badge, which purely makes you take double damage in Paper Mario: TTYD. Great for PM Danger Strats, useless for D&D, so I made it slightly more useful via double damage

Feeling Fine Badge - Badge, uncommon

When equipped, you are immune to the poisoning, paralyzed, and stunned conditions. You can only have three badges equipped at one time.

Fire Drive Badge - Badge, uncommon

While equipped, you have 3 charges, which replenish on a long rest. When you hit a target with a melee weapon attack using a hammer, you can spend a charge to blast a line of fire starting from the space the target occupies and extending in a straight line 15 feet behind it. The target and any creature in the line takes 2d8 fire damage. You can only have three badges equipped at one time.

Fire Shield Badge - Badge, uncommon

While equipped, you have resistance to fire damage and advantage on saving throws made to avoid effects that deal fire damage. You can only have three badges equipped at one time.

First Strike Badge - Badge, uncommon

While equipped, you can choose to forgo rolling initiative to automatically go first in the initiative order. You can only have three badges equipped at one time.

Flower Drain Badge - Badge, uncommon

While equipped, you have a -1 penalty to damage rolls (to a minimum of 1 damage) made with weapon attacks, but on a hit you regain one used spell slot of 5th level or lower. You can only have three badges equipped at one time.

Flower Finder Badge - Badge, uncommon

While equipped, when you defeat an enemy in combat, you have a 10% chance of regaining a spell slot of 3rd level or lower. Roll a d20. On a 19 or 20, you regain a spell slot of 3rd level or lower. You can only have three badges equipped at one time.

[ylkcheeeks]

it just kinda sucks but not as badly as either bothering the person i'm watching with "what was that?" every two to ten minutes when my audio processing just fuckin'... goes on break [with the even more maddening "oh wait nevermind" just as they begin to speak when it catches up in the lag], or watching the same forty-five seconds three times in a row because my internal captions are just [inaudible] the whole time even though the characters are expositioning.

like i get annoyed in the moment & also meta-annoyed for the folks who rely on them while for me they're the hearing equivalent of reading glasses, and that is not great for my focus so then i miss more of what's going on... this is how i wind up having months where i walked away from whatever live action drama i'm "currently watching" in favor of cartoons and long-winded youtubers

Why do people need subtitles to watch a show in English? I don't get it. What is wrong with the ears of young people?

[sortanonymous]

You know, I've had the original Thousand-Year Door on my backlog for a year now, specifically on Nintendont on Wii U. (So let me make it clear, I've never dropped a penny on this game other than I guess for the SD Card to mod the Wii U.) But the remake is making me tempted with how beautiful it looks, the quality-of-life improvements, the handheld mode (even if my Switch's air vents are so bad now that I can't play it on the TV), and of course them no longer censoring Vivian (Massive W there). That said, really feel like sticking with the original just for now. Hopefully I'll procrastinate on it long enough that someone mods the original to at least get Vivian's identity right and so at least that won't be an issue.

Don't know why I'm even posting this when I have to quickly finish a fanfic, I'm already bad at commiting to games these days, and I've never come close to completing an RPG in my life, but hey, this is the Tumblr - the platform of why not!

[rhodair-exigency]

With the recent news of layoffs in Hasbro/WotC, I think I've finally got the push I need to make the total transition away from D&D and MtG. Until the corporate dictatorship is dissolved, I have no desire to provide any more business for them. Which really sucks cuz the employees, the backbone, the soul of the products, deserve all the best, but I have no way of guaranteeing my money goes straight to them.

I'll probably always look at 5e positively since it's the system that got me started with TTRPGs, but I'm gonna lean more heavily into Pathfinder from here on out.

And steal the shit out of D&D content, as any good GM should.

[yelloworangesoda]

my junecorse take is that people should just pick one im so sick of june/john jegbert ass shit give them a name PLEASE. something. we all know who you mean. well im sure some people dont if its june but. yknow. "i dont have a preference :)" well. pick one for the post then. for me. the most imporatnt person in the world

[creekfiend]

man I really can't stand the way skirt lengths are described these days. like. mini? totally fine, that one makes perfect sense. maxi? not ideal tbqh but the horse is out of the toothpaste tube on that one. midi? you are on THIN FUCKING ICE. ""midaxi""????? INCOHERENT. THAT DRESS IS TEA LENGTH. ONE THOUSAND YEARS DUNGEON

[obsessivevoidkitten]

In The Minotaur's Maze

Male Minotaur Yandere x Gender Neutral Reader (CW: Violently painful noncon, mild bleeding from sex, size difference, belly bulge from massively huge dick, mild mention of musk, stalking, kidnapping, general yandere behavior) Word Count: 980 (Tried to make a drabble, failed again with a mini-fic instead. Oops. This is one of my very few works, so far, that is technically fanfiction as Asterion is the canon name of the Minotaur in Greek mythology.)

You were a talented explorer seeking ancient relics for fame and fortune.

You used a combination of minor magic to speak to the dead and serious investigation to discern the location of the fabled Minotaur labyrinth.

It was deep within an enchanted cave system that in many ways served as an extension of the maze hidden away within.

You carefully navigated the treacherous caves until you came upon the secret entrance. You placed your hand in the middle of a smooth wall and uttered the magic incantation.

The wall dissolved in a flash of light, and you stepped through the entrance as the stone reformed behind you. This was it. You were in the maze proper. What secrets lie ahead?

Of course, you knew the legends of Asterion the Minotaur, but he had been slain in them. And nothing could live so long anyway, especially without food.

You navigated the stone corridors easily. Despite their age, they still looked brand new. As you continued on, you occasionally heard what sounded like hooves plodding along behind you.

You pushed it from your mind. Your imagination was playing tricks.

As you stepped around a corner, you came to a wooden door and opened it. When you stepped through, gone were the twisting stone paths filled with the scent of earth.

Instead, there was an ancient style dwelling overlooking some farmland growing a variety of trees, bushes, and vines.

The door you had come through was still behind you, you closed it and from this side it looked like a door to a shed. So the labyrinth had pocket dimensions… You had heard about them in passing. You wondered how large it was. The realm may look like an idyllic farm on earth, but if you went far enough away, you'd surely hit an invisible wall.

Perhaps the door to the house would lead further into the dungeon.

As you got closer, you realized how large it was. When you pushed the big door open, it actually was a house. Albeit with furniture that was made for someone very large.

Suddenly, you felt a hot breath at your neck. You turned to find the very large, naked Minotaur staring down at you. He was a hairy wall of muscle. One with the head of a bull, complete with metal tipped horns. His legs were covered in dark fur and ended in large hooves, and his full nutsack dangled beneath a frighteningly large prick.

Before you could react, the Minotaur grabbed you and pulled off all your clothing.

You had no idea how Asterion could have survived all this time. He had been killed!

But apparently, he hadn't gotten the memo.

In the past, he had consumed most humans that wandered into his labyrinthine prison, but you were bravely entering his home, his nest.

You weren't cowering like the old sacrifices. Well, you weren't before he grabbed you anyway.

That, combined with him being in rut and driven insane by thousands of years of isolation, made him not consider you as a meal for even a moment. You were firmly in the mate category in his brain.

So small and cute.

You writhed and fought to get out of his grasp but he ignored your greatest efforts as if they were nothing.

Asterion licked at your face as you pleaded with him to let you go.

He couldn't understand your language but he could guess at their meaning.

But he had no intention of ever letting this new mate of his go.

He tossed you down on the bed and you now saw what he intended to do.

His hard cock now at full arousal, as large and thick as a man's arm.

"No no no! Pleasepleasenono!!!" Your words blended together in a garbled panic as his musk hit your nose, sharp and dominating.

The only preparation your entrance received was a few gobs of slimy Minotaur saliva before he slammed inside you.

You shrieked.

It felt as though your entrance was on fire. As if it was being ripped apart.

With every thrust you shuddered in pain and sobbed. Nearly incoherent cries for mercy dribbled from your lips and fell on deaf ears.

You felt so warm and tight around him. This was just what he needed. Surely you had been sent to Asterion in his time of need by the gods. They finally, after eons, granted him mercy in the form of your insides.

So pliant to his girthy cock. Every time he dove back into you the outline could be seen in your stomach.

Tears streamed down your face as you silently wept, no longer able to scream or even babble your silly little pleas for it to stop.

Asterion wished he could tell you how well you were doing. That you were such a good cow for him. That you fit his cock so perfectly.

But he couldn't, so instead settled for licking and nibbling at your neck before wiping your tears away with his broad tongue.

With a final thrust he filled your belly visibly cum.

When he pulled out a torrent of his seed rushed down your thighs, it had noticeable streaks of pink from bleeding. You were such a fragile little thing compared to him.

He hadn't been able to hold back since that was the first time he had ever sought release inside of someone before, but he made note to be more careful.

Even though the breeding had stopped you were helpless. Broken. At least for the moment. You still cried silently, feeling utterly invaded and defiled.

Asterion took the time to lick you completely clean before laying down beside you and holding you close, spooning you with his mighty arm as you shook beneath it.

You came here to explore the deepest reaches of the maze... but had your deepest reaches explored instead...

[my-thousand-year-old-vampire]

Entry 3: Prompt 5A

Cinda catches Le Moreau and I feeding on one of the servants. She does not scream or panic or act in any way surprised. She merely gathers her skirts and walks away. This must have confirmed the suspicions she most likely had from the start. The disgust in her eyes is not nearly as painful as her shame in me.

When I go to confront her, I see her preparing to leave the manor and take Dior with her. I beg her not to abandon me. She says it would have been better if I had perished of my wounds in that dungeon, rather than become this horrid monster.

I cannot lose both her and Dior, nor risk anyone revealing my true nature, so I take her blood right then and there. Dior will be heartbroken to hear that she was too disgusted of my 'affliction' to stay with us, but at least we will have each other.

[meefy]

I've talked about codependency and how it presents in Hunter x Hunter, and now I want to talk about how it presents in Dungeon Meshi - specifically between Thistle and Delgal.

Thistle, from the start, is in a perfect place to be taken advantage of and manipulated. He was taken from his family as a child, and he knows nothing about his past, not even his name. His sole purpose is to be there as a fool to entertain those with power. Delgal's father names him and raises him like a "son" and a "brother" to Delgal...but let's be honest, there is nothing normal or "brotherly" about how Delgal and Thistle interact here:

Thistle is not an equal with Delgal. From Delgal's perspective, Thistle is court magician and confidante, the one who can save his life and his kingdom. I certainly don't see Delgal considering Thistle a "friend" or member of the family. Perhaps when he was younger, but definitely not as an adult. Some of the earlier interactions between Thistle and Delgal as the latter grows up might have been sweet - sneaking food to share, talking about Delgal's marriage - but that sweetness quickly turns sour when we see how Delgal treats Thistle when the elf cannot be of use to him.

There is a tremendous amount of pressure on Thistle's shoulders. He knows Delgal's love for him is conditional; we can argue that Delgal yelled at him in a moment of desperation, but the fact that Thistle later feels the need to apologize (for...not being able to make Eodio defy death?) tells me he's used to asking Delgal for forgiveness where there is nothing logically to forgive.

Delgal, however, offers heaps of praise for Thistle when he keeps his kingdom and people safe.

Delgal needs Thistle to maintain rule of his kingdom and keep Eodio alive, and in turn, Thistle needs to be needed to feel fulfilled and useful. Thistle is Delgal's codependent, and Thistle has misconstrued putting aside his own wants and interests (his Adventurer's Bible page lists his likes and dislikes as "Nothing") in favour of serving Delgal and only Delgal. Thistle craves the affection he receives in return, and who can blame him? He has no family to speak of, no connections to the world outside of Delgal. Praise from Delgal is all Thistle lives for - and so he pours himself into creating the dungeon, keeping his people safe to the point of immortality.

So when Delgal and Eodio begin to talk about leaving, it's understandable that Thistle reacts so violently. If he can't protect his people, he can't earn Delgal's affection and praise. He is too deeply entrenched into the role of dungeon lord - the role of Lunatic Magician - to see that the dungeon is falling apart, and that Delgal probably long regrets asking Thistle for help.

Thistle is so obsessed with protecting Delgal and earning his love that he maintains this obsession for an entire millennium. Mithrun eventually tells him that Delgal is dead, to set his people free, and Thistle is in complete denial. He continues to search for Delgal even after learning the truth from Mithrun. He is so panicked about finding Delgal and proving that Mithrun is lying that he is driven to self mutilation.

Thistle's love for Delgal is not "true" love - it is obsession. But, in turn, Delgal's "love" for Thistle is not true love, either. Delgal would not have placed blame on Thistle for his son dying, would not have praised his use of dark magic, would not have placed the weight of his life on Thistle's shoulders...had he truly, purely loved Thistle. And I think Yaad knows this, because, when Thistle finally "reunites" with Delgal, he gives Thistle the apology and accountability the elf never got at any point during his life. He's sorry he made Thistle worry, and he's sorry he placed so much weight on his shoulders...those are things Delgal likely never said to Thistle at any point in time, but that Thistle deserved to hear after a thousand years. And I think it's very telling that the apology he got from "Delgal" isn't from Delgal at all - because the real Delgal probably wouldn't have apologized to Thistle in the first place.

I know there's some debate about whether or not Thistle is dead at the end of Chapter 96. But I am of the belief that yes, he is - that after finally being freed from the burden of needing to earn approval and protect everyone, and hearing Delgal apologize for it all, Thistle is at last able to rest peacefully.