#meefymeta

[meefy]

I've talked about codependency and how it presents in Hunter x Hunter, and now I want to talk about how it presents in Dungeon Meshi - specifically between Thistle and Delgal.

Thistle, from the start, is in a perfect place to be taken advantage of and manipulated. He was taken from his family as a child, and he knows nothing about his past, not even his name. His sole purpose is to be there as a fool to entertain those with power. Delgal's father names him and raises him like a "son" and a "brother" to Delgal...but let's be honest, there is nothing normal or "brotherly" about how Delgal and Thistle interact here:

Thistle is not an equal with Delgal. From Delgal's perspective, Thistle is court magician and confidante, the one who can save his life and his kingdom. I certainly don't see Delgal considering Thistle a "friend" or member of the family. Perhaps when he was younger, but definitely not as an adult. Some of the earlier interactions between Thistle and Delgal as the latter grows up might have been sweet - sneaking food to share, talking about Delgal's marriage - but that sweetness quickly turns sour when we see how Delgal treats Thistle when the elf cannot be of use to him.

There is a tremendous amount of pressure on Thistle's shoulders. He knows Delgal's love for him is conditional; we can argue that Delgal yelled at him in a moment of desperation, but the fact that Thistle later feels the need to apologize (for...not being able to make Eodio defy death?) tells me he's used to asking Delgal for forgiveness where there is nothing logically to forgive.

Delgal, however, offers heaps of praise for Thistle when he keeps his kingdom and people safe.

Delgal needs Thistle to maintain rule of his kingdom and keep Eodio alive, and in turn, Thistle needs to be needed to feel fulfilled and useful. Thistle is Delgal's codependent, and Thistle has misconstrued putting aside his own wants and interests (his Adventurer's Bible page lists his likes and dislikes as "Nothing") in favour of serving Delgal and only Delgal. Thistle craves the affection he receives in return, and who can blame him? He has no family to speak of, no connections to the world outside of Delgal. Praise from Delgal is all Thistle lives for - and so he pours himself into creating the dungeon, keeping his people safe to the point of immortality.

So when Delgal and Eodio begin to talk about leaving, it's understandable that Thistle reacts so violently. If he can't protect his people, he can't earn Delgal's affection and praise. He is too deeply entrenched into the role of dungeon lord - the role of Lunatic Magician - to see that the dungeon is falling apart, and that Delgal probably long regrets asking Thistle for help.

Thistle is so obsessed with protecting Delgal and earning his love that he maintains this obsession for an entire millennium. Mithrun eventually tells him that Delgal is dead, to set his people free, and Thistle is in complete denial. He continues to search for Delgal even after learning the truth from Mithrun. He is so panicked about finding Delgal and proving that Mithrun is lying that he is driven to self mutilation.

Thistle's love for Delgal is not "true" love - it is obsession. But, in turn, Delgal's "love" for Thistle is not true love, either. Delgal would not have placed blame on Thistle for his son dying, would not have praised his use of dark magic, would not have placed the weight of his life on Thistle's shoulders...had he truly, purely loved Thistle. And I think Yaad knows this, because, when Thistle finally "reunites" with Delgal, he gives Thistle the apology and accountability the elf never got at any point during his life. He's sorry he made Thistle worry, and he's sorry he placed so much weight on his shoulders...those are things Delgal likely never said to Thistle at any point in time, but that Thistle deserved to hear after a thousand years. And I think it's very telling that the apology he got from "Delgal" isn't from Delgal at all - because the real Delgal probably wouldn't have apologized to Thistle in the first place.

I know there's some debate about whether or not Thistle is dead at the end of Chapter 96. But I am of the belief that yes, he is - that after finally being freed from the burden of needing to earn approval and protect everyone, and hearing Delgal apologize for it all, Thistle is at last able to rest peacefully.

[meefy]

No but I love this little panel because it somehow manages to convey the toxic and complex nature of Thistle and Delgal's relationship!

We've already established that Thistle is Delgal's codependent and this just takes it one step further; that Thistle is willing to look past his own values (he doesn't drink or want to partake in any associated behaviours) and opinions (people who drink are stupid) when Delgal is involved (he will go with Delgal to bars despite hating alcohol and those who drink it). Perfect example of cognitive dissonance: "People who drink are stupid, but Delgal drinks, and Delgal most certainly is not stupid, so... (insert excuse as to why Delgal alone is OK to drink but nobody else is in Thistle's head).

Anyway I fucking love Thistle.

What's his fucking problem

[meefy]

It's disappointing to me that of the few takes I've seen on this bonus comic, they've pretty much singled Mithrun out as "the" racist elf. No, he's not the only racist one, he is the only one who doesn't have the desire to pretty up his language and try to make it look like he isn't. Lycion actively pointing out that "it's all short lived races around here"; and Cithis, Lycion and Fleki joking about what to call the short-lived races are both examples of this. They're still behaviours that show the characters see the short-lived races as inferior; they’re just trying to find a word to make it look like they aren't. It's giving the "I'm not racist but" vibes. Mithrun even says it himself: "That’s what we all used to call them." And I'd confidently hazard a guess that the other Canaries aren't so much shocked that Mithrun holds that viewpoint, but rather that he says it out loud.

[meefy]

Perhaps a "hot take" but I feel like if you infantilize Mithrun you should be prepared to do the same for Thistle. Mithrun (who canonically is capable of remembering to eat and sleep when he's not in a dungeon) by his own admission was an awful person before he lost his desires and thought himself better than everyone around him including his own family. He became the lord of a dungeon in the end because he couldn't accept that his brother "got the girl" and as a result created a dungeon that as Milsiril later said was built from "jealousy, anger and lies".

Thistle, meanwhile, was taken from his family as a child and doesn't even remember his own name simply because a rich king wanted an elf in his castle. And once Delgal was born Thistle ultimately became his friend, confidant and saviour as he got older. He relied on Thistle for magic and put the weight of protecting his people onto his shoulders to the point where Thistle turned to dark magic to protect everyone. And, he was rewarded by mounds of praise from Delgal for doing so. So it makes sense that, when people started rebelling and wanting to leave the dungeon, Thistle would be hurt and angry by it, and see everyone as being ungrateful for what he's done for them. And yet his love for Delgal remains so strong that he is in total denial that he is dead or wanted to leave the dungeon in the first place.

I find Thistle's descent to becoming the "Lunatic Magician" to be much more sympathetic than Mithrun's but I almost never see it talked about. And I say all this even as Mithrun is my favourite character in this manga, and I wholeheartedly believe that flawed characters are often the most interesting and empathetic characters. His story arc is fascinating and touching, and I stand by that completely. But I also believe that it is a shame to Mithrun's character development to ignore his past; meanwhile glossing over Thistle's own experience as lord of the dungeon and how his initial motives were somewhat more altruistic than Mithrun's.

[meefy]

Diverse Autistic Characters in Akagami no Shirayukihime

I could go on for hours about my dislike of how autism is, for the most part, portrayed in popular media - the butt of a cruel joke; autism representation by a non-Autistic actor; or centered around the plot of the story itself, where it boils down to the Autistic person "overcoming" their autism or some outside force "fixing" it (or, semi related, an Autistic character being shoehorned in as a token minority).

I think that's one of the reason I love Akagami no Shirayukihime so much. While none of the characters are confirmed as Autistic, the ones that are quite blatantly Autistic-coded are so diverse and so welcomed by the cast that it's both sweet and refreshing to see.

I have talked at length about Ryuu and why I love his character so much, so I don't want to get into it too much here because I've said most of what I want to say. He is, at first glance, the "typical" popular culture depiction of autism: the male child savant who has no friends, can't socialize, and has the niche restricted interests in science that seem to characterize every big Autistic character in media. But it doesn't take long to see he is so much more than that! His interests in poisons has granted him a field of study and work where he thrives and does what he loves day in and day out. His mentor, Garak, supports him and treats him as an equal, and looks for opportunities for him to grow - as does everyone around him, including Shirayuki.

Ryuu's time in Lilias was so beautifully depicted. The years he spends studying and working there are not him masking his Autistic traits or "beating" them; they are years of him feeling safe and supported enough to test his comfort levels and branch out because he knows he won't be mocked or scorned for it. He has found an environment where he thrives because of his Autistic traits, not in spite of them. And so, as of most recently, we see that he wants to remain in Lilias to continue his studies there because of this. His growth is not reduced to finally acting neurotypical; Ryuu being Autistic has not changed. But he has found others who share his passions, who support him, and who encourage him without changing who he is.

I also want to touch on Kirito specifically, because he is one of the few people Ryuu's own age who interacts with him. Kirito is too young to hold back his questions about Ryuu's behaviour. Why is he running away from a crowd of people? Why has he never had a snowball fight? But Kirito doesn't dwell on Ryuu's quirks; he accepts them, moves on, and focuses on what the two have in common - which is what I would hope for any Autistic person, myself included.

What is particularly special to me about how Autistic characters are depicted in AnS is the diversity. Too often I see Autistic characters depicted in the same way, like the author read a WebMD checklist and created a character around said list. Autism is a spectrum, and with that comes two ends of the spectrum.

Which brings me to Lata.

Although I haven't explicitly mentioned at length Lata + autism the same way I've discussed it about Ryuu (and although I could write a whole essay on it), I do want to go in a bit more depth because his overlap and contrast with Ryuu is exactly the kind of Autistic representation I live for. Ryuu actively wants to work to help people; Lata seeks to work in solitude. Ryuu is open and generally friendly with others, Lata is blunt and evasive. Ryuu's expressions are generally flat (and his voice monotone in the anime); Lata is quite expressive (even if he doesn't smile often, and neither does Ryuu). Yet we see certain similarities between the two; for instance, both have their own niche hyperfixations that they absolutely live for, and neither is totally at ease in crowds.

But leaving Ryuu out of the equation, one of my favourite things about Lata's character is that none of the Lyrias crew seemed genuinely bothered by how he acts. Like, even Obi's teasing is, by and large, in good faith. They're just like "Oh, that’s just how Lata is..." and move past it. Most recently in Chapter 133, Shirayuki is visibly happy to see him. And related to that, the other scholars always go out of their way to include and invite him to their outings - to their banquet celebrating the successful germination of the phostyrias, or to see them blooming in their lab. Even if he always declines, and they probably know he will always decline, they ask. Speaking on a personal note, I am like Lata and really, really hate parties or any large gathering; so people (understandably) stopped inviting me. And that hurt; even if I knew I'd say no, and wouldn't go, people actually thinking of me meant a lot more than they likely realized.

So, seeing representation of people actively trying to invite and include their Autistic comrade means so much to me.

Lastly, I want to talk about Shirayuki. It's not terribly often that Autistic representation in media is a female character, let alone the lead character. I know I am not alone in thinking Shirayuki is Autistic, but I do love its subtlety unless you know what to look for. The long running theory that there is a "girl" autism (versus the stereotypical "male" autism that is most commonly diagnosed and seen in popular culture) is absurd; autism is a spectrum, and just where some Autistics are reclusive, have a flat affect, and exhibit quirky behaviours and interests, there are plenty that are the complete opposite, or somewhere else along the spectrum. In many respects, this describes Shirayuki; she seems to have no trouble making friends, attending parties, or showing emotion.

And yet, she has the intense focus in herbalism and pharmacology that mirrors Ryuu's in many respects; she just does not express that interest in the same, "typical" Autistic way. She reads her textbooks to relax and spends time in a garden (the latter of which is, stereotypically, a perfectly expected behaviour for someone of her gender). It's easy to forget that, much like how Ryuu ran away from the crowd on his first day in Lyrias (a depiction of an Autistic shutdown), Shirayuki ran away from Zen when her feelings for him became too overwhelming. She asks Zen for a comfort object of his when she leaves for Tanbarun, much like how many Autistic people have a particular tangible object that gives them comfort. Shirayuki is also blunt; she tells Prince Raji to act more like a leader she can be proud of, and rebuffs the knight who insults Ryuu at the beginning of the story - her low rank does not deter her. Autistic people are sometimes known for apparently "not understanding" power dynamics and rules (which I doubt, as do most Autistic people - I think it's more likely that the rules and dynamics are simply unfair, and created and upheld by neurotypical people) - Shirayuki's behaviour certainly seems to fit this. She is not rude by any means...but where it might intimidate many others, a person's title does not keep her from speaking her mind. In many respects she reminds me of myself!

I could go on and on about this topic - and how different Autistic traits are present in different characters - but I'm comfortable stopping at Ryuu, Lata, and Shirayuki (at least for now), and reiterating that media like AnS proves that diverse Autistic characters can exist without being a punchline, can grow throughout the story without shedding their Autistic traits, and can be accepted, supported, and loved by others for who they are. This series is dear to my heart, and this is but one (albeit huge) reason why!

[meefy]

Mithrun acknowledging he has people who love him is everything to me.

As an aside, it's always been interesting to me how self-aware Mithrun is, and it's even more apparent when he’s placed with other dungeon lords here. He knows he was a terrible and haughty person, he knows why the demon targeted him and saw through his desires, and he knows it all enough to warn others (Kabru, Marcille) not to fall into the same trap he did.

Mithrun has caregivers and people who genuinely loved him (his brother!!) to nurse him back to health (and Marcille had people to save her from the demon's power - down to Chilchuck braiding her hair for her when she lost the memory and desire to do so). These former dungeon lords apparently did not. And Mithrun is aware of that, too - even if I'm not sure he would have truly realized it until the dungeon fell and he was surrounded by Kabru and the Canaries promising to support him while he formed new desires.

Mithrun’s character development is incredible.

addiction n abusive relationship metaphors are breaking down my door send help

head in my hands the last three panels are gonna live in my head forever

[meefy]

->

->

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Chapter 66-68 -> Chapter 96 parallels.

Yaad gave Thistle the ultimate gift of an apology for how Thistle was treated by his grandfather, and for Thistle's descent to becoming the "Lunatic Magician". Yaad has every reason to hate Thistle for what he did to his family and kingdom, to correct him and say he is not actually Delgal, yet he chooses to reassure and comfort him instead. I can think of no greater act of kindness than that.

Bonus:

[meefy]

I want to ramble about this panel for a second.

Mithrun was supposed to have had his desire to live consumed by the demon after his dungeon's fall. He thought his remaining desire was for revenge against the demon, but it was instead for the demon to consume the rest of him. He thought he had no reason to live if it were not for revenge. And once the demon was defeated, he believed had no reason left at all.

Until Senshi makes him realize that even those we see as having no purpose are not actually useless in reality. It gives Mithrun hope he can find his own meaning again. He wants to live...and it is so fitting that this is his final line in the whole of the story.

I will miss him.

[meefy]

I know the whole joke is "Kabru going along with Laios giving him monsters to eat to get on his good side is funny because he actually hates monsters" but this reread has really made me stop and think about how horribly traumatic that must have been for him. Like, imagine someone feeding you (not to mention adoring) the very being that slaughtered your entire village including your mother in front of your eyes AS A CHILD. I'm honestly surprised he didn't snap with Laios the first time. Dude doesn't get enough credit for sticking it through.

[meefy]

Oh OP I'm so glad you brought this up because I have so much to say on this topic!

As you say the last time Mithrun had any semblance of a real connection with others was when he was lord of the dungeon. Now we don't know a ton about his backstory beyond some very basic info - he was the youngest of a powerful noble family, he has an older brother whom he hated - but from Kabru's retelling and Milsiril's visit to Mithrun while he was recovering (in the Adventurer's Bible), we can garner that Mithrun was the type of person others wanted to be. He was attractive, wealthy and from a good family. Others believed he was, in a word, perfect. He should have had plenty of true, close bonds.

Except he wasn't, and he didn't.

Mithrun was deeply unhappy. He didn't want to be sent to the Canaries, he wanted to be back home with his beloved, the person his brother had apparently "stolen" from him. It’s never revealed how or when Mithrun found out he was the product of an affair, but it strikes me as a little over the top for him to be so enraged over only the fact his brother and his beloved were dining together. To me, that's the reaction of someone who knows they are the illegitimate (and unwanted) child, who thinks he deserves better (and deserves to be the one with his beloved, not his brother), but can never have it because his family shipped him off to the Canaries, and because of his background.

So, I think Mithrun learned his true parentage shortly before he became the lord of the dungeon, and decided nothing he wanted in his life - including happiness - was going to be attainable otherwise.

Back to that...Mithrun was seemingly happy as lord of the dungeon early on. He had "friends" who were happy to be around him...until things started going wrong, and they abandoned him. And I can't help but contrast that with how Laios, Izutsumi, Senshi, and Chilchuck handle Marcille when things start to go wrong in her dungeon: they fight tooth and nail to get to her and remind her of all the wonderful things they've all done together and want to do in the future. She had people who stopped her from losing herself.

Mithrun had nobody.

I think that it would be quite terrifying to put yourself out there again knowing there was a time where you thought people cared about you and nobody helped you when you needed it most on top of all the other trauma he experienced and has to now work through. And since many of his memories don't seem to be affected by his lack of desires, I'm sure he remembers that too - that he was, as you say, "punished" for admitting what he really wanted in life.

I don't think that Mithrun is incapable of caring for people, but it makes sense that he wouldn't recognize this until after others had to tell him directly. The last time he pursued his self-serving desires and had any connection with others was when he was lord of the dungeon, and he was thoroughly punished for that. Viewing himself as disposable and unable to experience desires beyond revenge means that he won't be able to give into the same kind of desires that left him in the state he is now and caused him to lose what he had.

I can imagine it would be hard to acknowledge that you want anything for yourself after that

[meefy]

Some thoughts on Lata's little cameo in Chapter 134!

I know we love to joke about Lata being grumpy and difficult but I honestly do not believe he hates people (at least, not in the way it's hinted Count Jiran does). I think Lata is disillusioned with people. I think he came to Lyrias excited to have people to share his favourite thing (rocks!) only to get scorned because of a title he did not ask for. I think he's tired of people coming after him because of said title - he assumes the reason Shirayuki wants to talk to him in the first place has nothing to do with his research, and later assumes she brings him lunch as a bribe, which tells me he isn't used to people genuinely being interested in him (as a person) and his passions. And while this might delve more into my personal headcanons than canon material, as an Autistic person myself I can't help but see SO many autistic traits in Lata. Which makes me believe that, as hurt as he was by his fellow scholars' reactions to his status, he is simply very content with his own company. Parties and huge crowds and small talk probably drain his social battery way faster and way more than he can handle; he even blatantly states to Shirayuki that their initial conversation (about crystals, i.e. his favourite topic in the world) was the best he'd ever had, likely because nobody at any of the events he'd ever been forced to attend discussed what he actually found interesting. And I think the reason why he says he didn't mind the knights circle is because even though he wasn't in his preferred environment, there were the rules and structure and routine that many of us Autistics find a great deal of comfort in.

I am getting off topic, but a final point I want to make is that I don't think Lata was being completely honest when he initially told Shirayuki he was only helping her and her colleagues to get them off his back; I think he likely really, really enjoyed having a group of people to actually finally discuss his love of mineralogy with, people who actually cared and didn't just see the fancy title and money attached to his name. And I believe he is the type of person who cares far more about others than he would ever let on; he is just very, very selective about who those people are.

So no, Lata doesn't hate people per se...he hates social expectations and all the gossip, backstabbing and baggage that comes with them.

[meefy]

Izana's love for Zen

Spoilers up to and including current manga arc!

I am the first to admit I enjoy playing devil's advocate for the characters whom nobody likes. And when it comes to Izana I see a lot of...chilly reception...with regards to his demeanor and temperament.

Which is what makes him so perfect to analyze here!

It is immediately established in the series that, regardless of Izana's behaviour or thoughts on Shirayuki, Zen respects and cares for his elder brother. He goes so far as to apologize for it to Shirayuki, knowing how lowly Izana thinks of her at first. But because he punishes Zen for failing to discipline the soldiers at Laxd, and chastises him for allowing a commoner into the palace and later professing his love for her, I think it is this first appearance at face value which gives the impression that Izana does not love or care about Zen, or Zen's wishes and emotions.

That couldn't be further from the truth.

The flashbacks about Zen and Atri are what ultimately sealed the deal for me as the story progressed. We see Atri and Zen as childhood friends, with Zen openly trusting the lower class boy before Atri reveals his and his group's true intentions. Izana sees the grave consequences of having allowed Zen so much freedom in mingling outside of the nobility - and how deeply broken Zen is from it all, questioning how he can know who to trust.

Every step Izana takes to separate Zen and Shirayuki is a test (which is something Izana admits to!), a test that Izana did not put Atri through. Had Izana separated Zen and Atri early on, it would have become readily apparent that Atri's intentions were far from pure; he was using Zen as a pawn to lure out Izana, after all.

And when Zen goes against his brother's wishes and flees to Tanbarun to protect Shirayuki from Kazuki, Izana's words in Chapter 22 - If something happens to you, and I have to do something about it...- are particularly powerful. Because something did happen to Zen with Atri, and Izana did have to do something about it. And it was devastating to Zen, and by extension Izana.

Izana doesn't want to see that happen again, and his barring Shirayuki from ever returning if such a situation repeated itself is perfectly logical. We as the reader know that Shirayuki has pure intentions, Izana does not.

But as Shirayuki continues to prove herself - as someone dependable, someone worthwhile - Izana does not so vehemently oppose Zen’s involvement with her. A fine example of this is Zen’s marriage interview; Izana approved the list of candidates knowing Zen’s very own aide Kiki was on it. Izana was a man who singlehandedly, at the age of seventeen, run down not one but two corrupt lords and rebuilt their territories, but somehow "overlooked" Kiki's name on the list of marriage candidates, and the fact Zen could stage an interview with Kiki to buy himself time with Shirayuki? Unlikely.

Izana carries the weight of the world on his shoulders and has for a long time. He has to live up to the expectation of others after his father's death and his mother's leaving the castle. He took over much of his parents' work and duties, alongside tending to his younger brother, at a young age. An entire country is depending on him and his decisions; this is far from an easy task for anyone. But when Zen goes through a rebellious streak - understandable for any child coming of age in such a strict context - it must have been especially worrisome for Izana. To think about the trouble Zen might get into, and to witness it happening with Atri.

Yet Izana tells Zen, in the flashback in Chapter 51, that what Zen lacks and Izana has, Zen does not need - Zen has his own qualities, qualities which Izana comes to accept and respect as Zen grows into a dedicated and successful leader, even with Shirayuki in his life. And it becomes very clear that Izana does not want to prevent Zen from marrying Shirayuki; rather, he wants them both to be their best selves before such an event happens. He knows the taboo of a royal marrying a commoner - yet Izana has also seen Shirayuki’s dedication and intelligence, and knows she is worthy to keep in close company.

So, I hazard a guess that, when Shirayuki moved into the castle, Izana knowingly sent her to Lilias before she barely had time to get used to it - and it is so she can gain experience, both book and street smarts, before coming back to settle down for good. And her mission (from Izana) to line the country with Phostyrias further supports this theory; she needs to broaden her horizons of Clarines and its people if she is to one day be at its ruler's side as Zen's wife.

When that day comes, Zen and Shirayuki will both have the qualities it takes to succeed in such a grueling position of leadership - a position Izana knows all too well. And Izana granting Shirayuki and Zen those opportunities is perhaps the greatest act of love I can imagine him giving his younger brother.

[meefy]

I had this on Discord but as it is always Love Lata hour on my blog, I felt it deserved a place here too.

Lately during my AnS reread I've realized how Lata is so much softer than he comes across sometimes and it starts pretty much as soon as he is introduced at the castle's night banquet.

When Shirayuki starts to ask why he left Lyrias, Lata tells her rather bluntly that the only thing he'll ever care about there is his research alone. He's been there 15 years and has no friends, colleagues, or ties of any kind (and he tells Kirito some forty chapters later that he has friends only in his hometown). He has no reason to stay in Lyrias except for the work he does - work that brings him fulfillment and joy in spite of nobody around him understanding why he is bothering with his kind of research at all.

Suzu tells Shirayuki in Chapter 65 that none of Lata’s fellow mineralogists understand the purpose or goal of his research, and I suspect that in part is why he is so isolated (besides the fact that some of the other scholars hate nobility). The other minerologists see Lata as a haughty rich noble with enough time and money to expend in a useless jewelry-making hobby, or just pointless research for the sake of knowing. One can imagine that, having come to Lyrias excited to show off his work, Lata was pretty sorely disappointed and put off by everyone around him early on even without being scorned for being nobility. I believe that is probably part of why he runs from Shirayuki and Obi in he beginning; he has no reason to believe that, after 15 years, anyone will take him or his research seriously (and this is something he also echoes when he admits he wasn't expecting her to label him an expert).

And I suspect there are two underlying reasons why Lata agrees in the end to help Shirayuki’s team (other than to reward her persistence, which is the explanation he gives her). One, because they are likely the first group of scholars to see value in his work and how it can be used in an applied setting - the fact it is in a completely different domain doesn't matter, really, and given how the few times he smiles in this arc are when he sees the fruits of his labour it is safe to assume that, mineralogy or pharmacology, it brings Lata a great deal of satisfaction to see his research going to greater use.

The second reason is a more sentimental one, and that is that, plainly put, Lata likes what he does. He wouldn't have stayed isolated for 15 years in a city where nobody liked him if he didn't, and even Obi later remarks that Lata becomes very solemn whenever crystals are brought up. He strikes me as someone who is happy to do "meaningless" research simply to learn how stuff works. And Shirayuki, at the castle's night banquet, echoes this feeling when Lata asks her why she wants the phostyrias project to succeed: because they're pretty! She gives many other reasons - her values, her career - but it's this reason that strikes Lata the most.

Look at how he regards her right after she makes her declaration, like he's thinking that finally, someone gets it. She wants to keep going with her research not just for its deeper hidden meaning, but because they're really pretty flowers.

And Lata just wants to have fun with his pretty glitter crystal stones.

It doesn't have to be more complicated than that!

[meefy]

Thanks for such an in-depth and well thought out response to my silly little ask!

I'd never thought about the parallels between Kokichi and Geto/Yuki/Gojo but it's honestly a very good point. He has all the motivations to want to change the system from the top down. For instance, I'm confident the higher-ups convinced Kokichi's parents long ago that he would be better off and better taken care of at Jujutsu High (which was obviously revealed pretty quickly to be a lie) and Kokichi simply had someone tell his parents he'd died long ago rather than have them know the truth: that he is stuck in a basement with nobody to talk to or to take care of him properly. I mean, he managed to get away with sneaking information to Mahito and Kenjaku because nobody thought to check on him for months. You're telling me nobody is looking after a severely disabled and chronically ill teenager living in a bathtub? Utahime didn't even know where he actually physically was when she went with Yuji + co. to confront him. And if Kokichi hid his physical location, he must have known nobody would come looking for him in the interim.

I've seen some interpretations that Kokichi loathes the "stupid robot" that is Mechamaru, but I disagree. Mechamaru is his lifeline and connection to the outside world. He gives orders to Mechamaru all throughout his fight with Mahito like one might a colleague/fellow sorcerer. Gege has even said that Mechamaru takes care of all of Kokichi's daily tasks, which I can only assume means medical needs as well. Kokichi learned to depend on himself - and Mechamaru - for better or worse until the very end. He shouldn't have had to. Both Yuji and Yuta had someone (Gojo) to advocate for them. Kokichi had nobody.

I see some fans declare him a selfish traitor, but I dare anybody saying that to experience his situation and say you would not have done the same. Kokichi did not intend for this to be a one-sided deal. He was not a fool; he expected his friends to be angry and feel betrayed, and we see in the light novel that he has a great deal of guilt for his friends being hurt during the Goodwill Event. Kokichi is not some irredeemable villain. And he planned his fight with Mahito and Kenjaku for a very, very long time. He fully intended to defeat them both and warn Gojo about the imminent danger he was in, and Kokichi went down fighting for this, too.

It's just a shame he never got that chance.

Love your blog a lot. Thank you for all the Kokichi love! 🥰

Thanks! 😍

Also, YES! Kokichi deserves so much love. He is one of the most underappreciated characters imo.

His time in the manga was short but he shined a lot in it and made a waves. He is cool but dorky - very grim and gritty on the surface but just a sweet softie underneath.

I could talk a lot about him and here is just my list of the main reasons I love him:

MAGITECH I love the concept of magitech - technology powered by magic. They sound contradictory because magic and technology are often presented as opposites of each other in folklore to popular stories. So when a work of fiction harmonize them together, it just feel special imo. Kokichi's entire aesthetic is magitech. His CT is puppet manipulation not robot/tech manipulation. However, he was influenced by, likely, a mecha anime so much that he designed all his puppets to be like robots. His character would not look out-of-place in a sci-fi, cyberpunk, or mecha series.

HE IS A DORK Kokichi named Mechamaru as Mechamaru because of an anime he watched. He made his puppets look like robots, again, because of an anime he liked! He roleplays hard the "cool robot" personality when he is with his friends as Mechamaru. He has cheesy names for all his moves! He named an attack "Pigeon Viola"! OMFG! Had he been blessed with a normal body, Kokichi would be a hardcore cosplayer of robots or mech pilots. He is a fucking theater kid who would believe method acting is the best form of acting! Heavenly Restriction saved Utahime from premature white hairs because I 100% believe Kokichi would have driven her crazy with his antics. He is a closet gremlin menace! *It's so funny to realize that Kokichi is voiced by Kirito's VA. It's fucking perfect.

HE IS A SWEET HEART We all saw the Jujutsu Stroll! He cannot say no to his friends especially Miwa. Some might think he is a pushover for it. But I think it's because he is genuinely nice. His Mechamarus are so detailed?!? If that isn't a labor of love, I don't know what is. Above all else, one of his main motivations in gaining a healthy body is to physically be with his friends - to just have the simple joy of walking side by side with them. HE IS A FUCKING SWEETHEART AND HE DESERVES A LOT OF HUGS!

HE IS A FIGHTER Kokichi took hold of his own fate. He made his own choices and dealt with the consequences accordingly. He went down fighting and giving all he's got despite the odds.

HE IS COMPLEX Kokichi shows rage which is refreshing. Most of the time, ill characters in a story often come in three flavors only: 1) They are gentle and quiet in their acceptance. 2) They are depressed and miserable in silent suffering. 3) They are so ragey that they turned into irredeemable villains. Kokichi was all of that and yet not! 1) He is gentle and quiet with his friends but he is not accepting his shitty fate! 2) He is depressed and miserable but he is vocal about his shitty fate with people (who he didn't want to trouble so much like his friends). 3) He is ragey and a traitor but he knows how to direct his fury properly and he isn't delusional about the consequences of his choices. He was ready for all the baggage that came with his betrayal. ALSO, he didn't become a full blown villain. HE WAS A DOUBLE AGENT... without a handler... or without anyone knowing about it really. It was a self-appointed role okay.

SMALL ROLE, BIG IMPACT Kokichi's choice led to a seismic shift in the world of JJK because it led to the Shibuya Incident.

COOL DESIGN He has a total of three looks. All of which are interesting! 1. PROXY BODY: Mechamaru has a steampunk aesthetic. It has old robot anime vibes that reminds me of Metropolis. 2. ILL BODY: The bandages all over him reminds me of Shishio (Rurouni Kenshin). This design is interesting too because his environment is a vital element as well. It gives him an aura of cold danger and mystery. 3. HEALTHY BODY: Kokichi looks like a young samurai with his hair up in a high pony tail and scar. He looks badass. His facial expressions being in full rage-y displays also how far he is from cold. He is as hot-tempered as any classic shonen MC.

COOL POWERS & SKILLS Puppet manipulation. That's cool. Enough said. His engineering skills? Now that is mindblowing! He had to build all of his puppets! All of them have full range of motion, well balanced, and equipped with weapons. Plus, he had to follow his mecha aesthetics. Accomplishing all of that every time he creates his puppets is amazing! Kokichi is versatile with his CT and combined with his engineering skills and creativity, he is a badass.

MIWAKICHI / KOKISUMI / MECHAMIWA Their relationship is so sweet and tragic. It's so fucking unfair!!! I like how Miwa drew out the best and the worst from Kokichi.

HE IS A REBEL Probably because of how short his time was in the series, many missed the fact that he is just as much of a rebel against jujutsu system as Yuki, Gojo, and Geto were. Yuki - She refused her original role in jujutsu society and forged her own path in ending curses. She rejected the system. Geto - He fought back by becoming a curse user to pursue his own way of eradicating curses. He did not let the brand of a traitor deter him from his path. He left the system. Gojo - He fought back by staying in the system and being a giant nuisance about it by encouraging a new generation to go against the tradition. He chained himself to the system but he is destroying them from within through nurturing of the youth. Kokichi was like Yuki. He rejected the fate the bestowed on him. He refused to die alone in a pool of his own blood. Kokichi was like Geto. He sought another way to achieve his goals and took an opportunity despite being branded as traitor/curse user. Had fate been kinder, I think Kokichi would have ended up following Gojo's path - working in the system and changing it in his own way that would protect the vulnerable. He'd be joining the likes of Yuta and Yuji.

[meefy]

Honestly the first time I watched the Panda vs. Mechamaru/Kokichi fight I was immediately put off by Panda's comments of "we're so similar" and "why are you so offended at being called a cursed corpse" and "I haven't had anything in common with anyone since I was born, but you and I do" and I could never put my finger on why those comments made me uneasy but I have finally figured it out: they are a representation of some of the covert ableist comments disabled people get daily. They're reminiscent of "have you tried yoga?" and "my mom's friend's cousin has the same disability as you" and "oh yeah I'm so OCD too, all my books have to be organized by colour." They're not true empathy. They're misguided beliefs that you understand what a disabled person is going through.

Panda is not disabled. Panda's only "disability" is...being a panda. He thinks he can empathize with Kokichi because Mechamaru is a puppet much like Panda is a cursed corpse. But that's not even close to what Kokichi deals with daily. Because Kokichi, meanwhile, is disabled: he has only one functioning limb, he is paralyzed from the waist down, and he is in pain every moment of every single day. There is a very good reason he angrily declares that Panda "doesn't know anything" - because Panda can never empathize with Kokichi’s experience as a disabled person. Panda thinks he has something in common with Kokichi, but he really doesn't; the puppet Kokichi uses in place of a healthy body and Panda's cursed corpse body are two very different things.

I can go on about how sad it is that much of Kokichi’s character is reduced to the cliché of "disabled character hates everyone until he is magically healed and everything is okay", but I do want to add that Panda's final comment of "having more hardships doesn't make you right" also grated at me. No, having more hardships doesn't make you right, but they give you a perspective that others might not have - and in Kokichi’s case, only he is the expert of his own experience as a disabled person, especially when put up against someone who is able-bodied. I wish we'd seen more of him as a person instead of a trope.

[meefy]

Thoughts on Ryuu + Autistic-Coded Characters, Part II: the Lilias Arc

Now that I've caught up to the Akagami no Shirayukihime manga(!!), I want to talk now about Ryuu's growth in the Lilias arc - specifically, why it was such meaningful representation for me to see an autistic-coded character surrounded by others supporting him and his values instead of wanting to change him. I will be looking at this through the same lens as my initial anime only analysis of Ryuu's character, so it may benefit you to read that first! Spoilers here up to and including Chapter 106.

The two years Ryuu spends in Lilias are inarguably fundamental for him - not just professionally, but socially and emotionally, too. But as an autistic adult, there are some special reasons why Ryuu's growth was so touching and important for me to see represented in media.

We go from Ryuu being overwhelmed in a room full of adult pharmacists (all of whom see him as some sort of "Rain Man"  rather than the individual child he is)[Ch 34] - not to mention having barely any experience with patients because people are too wary of him and his interest in poisons - to Ryuu being embraced by the community of Lyrias because of the very traits he was shunned for. This is not something that happened easily or over night - but his vast knowledge and hyperfixation on poison and plants actually ends up serving him well as a starting point!

His knowledge of poisons is readily necessary when the team of pharmacists is trying to uncover the cause of sickness in Lilias, and later when they are developing a nonpoisonous version of the poisonous plant. Through his contributions, Ryuu gains the respect of the other pharmacists who treat him as an equal and respected member of the team.

But that's not all. He finds someone his own age, Kirito, to introduce Ryuu to all sorts of activities he ends up enjoying - snowball fights, eating at restaurants, spending time in the public baths. I see so often autistic youth who are treated as "little professors" who get along well with adults, but who are shunned for being "too weird" or "too nerdy" for their same age peers. Kirito doesn't do that. Kirito might be initially confused about Ryuu's mannerisms, but he isn't cruel about them. They're part of Ryuu himself, and that's all there is to it. And in turn, Ryuu gets to have a friend his age for what is probably the first time in his life. It warmed my heart to see how doting Kirito was on his friend; even if they didn't completely understand each other, they understood each other enough.

The most touching part of the Lilias arc for me was, of course, Ryuu's eventual confession in Chapter 105 to Shirayuki about her part in his professional and social growth. Shirayuki was always the first to defend Ryuu in the palace and when they first arrived to Lilias. She treated him with empathy and kindness, and took his role as her supervisor seriously regardless of his age. She looked up to him. But perhaps most importantly, she encouraged him to reach out of his comfort zone - not by telling him to, but by showing her example. Shirayuki is always quick to help others, in her line of work particularly, and seeing her do so was undoubtedly a huge help for Ryuu. In his own words, she helped him bridge the gap between his scientific knowledge and interest, and the patients who benefited from that knowledge - until he was comfortable enough to bridge that gap himself.

For myself as an autistic adult, I don't learn how to interact with others naturally or by someone telling me how to do so; I learn by watching others (including in movies, shows, or by other people) and gauging their reaction. If I say X, this generates Y response. This is especially useful for me when I see people I trust interacting in a certain way, or when I know there won't be negative consequences if I make a social mistake. I have no doubt that Shirayuki’s bedside manner and eagerness to help others - and the good that it brings her - had a profound impact on Ryuu during their two years in Lilias. And, of course, Ryuu knowing he had a supportive group of friends including Shirayuki (someone who cared for him unconditionally and from his "old" life in the palace where he was used to) likely served as a sort of "safety net" - Ryuu knew he could try and venture out of his comfort zone (for instance, interacting with patients more than back in the palace) without fear of being shunned if he didn’t succeed.

Lata's advice in Chapter 104 of finding someone Ryuu admires and emulating them aren't just empty words to Ryuu   - Shirayuki is who he wants to emulate! But Lata also makes the point that Ryuu shouldn't copy anyone; he shouldn't hide or mask the traits that make him Ryuu. This is such an important and emotional point for me to see represented; that Ryuu can admire someone without needing to be exactly like them. He can be himself even as he grows and learns!

By Ryuu's own admission [Ch 106], he isolated himself back at the palace, and realized it wasn't positive for his growth as a person. I cannot speak for every autistic person, but I know myself and many others do not want to be isolated; we want to form real connections with people who don't want to change or take advantage of us. Ryuu was fortunate to find that in the palace with Shirayuki and her friends, and later with the team in Lilias - with Shirayuki’s presence being especially significant for him. I do not want to give all credit to Shirayuki here for Ryuu's growth (because that is mightily unfair to Ryuu who had to do the work himself), and that isn't the point of this post. What I do want to highlight is the positive representation here of 1) autistic coded characters and 2) a warm and empathetic support system. Nobody mocks or tries to change Ryuu's behaviour, as we so often see in media "representing" autistic people. Nobody goes out of their way to question how Ryuu speaks or acts. Rather, Ryuu's friends and colleagues embrace it and embrace him, with all his quirks and abilities - as they should.

It is that universal acceptance that lets Ryuu bloom into the person he is in present canon from a timid and isolated child into a confident and supported person. And the fact he has become so self-aware, enough to recognize this, is a testament to his growth, and of the importance of having a support system that unconditionally loves and accepts you. Obviously, this should be the norm (in media and reality) and not the exception - but until it is, I will keep praising it from the rooftops.

I can't wait to see how Ryuu continues to grow and learn, with Shirayuki and their friends at his side!