#dumbest shit i've ever read

[patricia-von-arundel]

One part of me wants to spend Tuesday, when I'm alone again, looking up books to add to my horror list, especially new ones by first-time authors. I'll need a distraction after getting back from the airport.

But another part of me remembers that utterly horrendous book I read last summer. Which was new horror by a new author. The one after which I would have happily tortured both the "writer" (I use the term loosely) and the "editor" (so loose you could stick a hand through the weave) with a year of endless papercuts.

[tricoufamily]

deep breaths......deep breaths.....stay calm......

[smute]

job search is driving me insane. maybe im in the wrong country. the typical lib arts gigs want undergrads with a very specific skill set and anything where an advanced degree might be of use they're either looking for graduates in GERMAN lit specifically or they want NATIVE english speakers. sorry i can't be her. also everyone and their dog keeps telling me to take my ENGLISH degree and look into GERMAN publishing when i haven't read a GERMAN book in 3 years. i'm about as qualified for that as His Majesty the Sultan Haji Hassanal Bolkiah Mu'izzaddin Waddaulah ibni Al-Marhum Sultan Haji Omar 'Ali Saifuddien Sa'adul Khairi Waddien, Sultan and Yang Di-Pertuan of Negara Brunei Darussalam, whose embassy in berlin is, btw, looking for a full time translator (english-german). maybe there's someone less gay who wants to apply. anyway. not to mention salaries in publishing are so bad i might as well go ahead with my phd. the only reason that's been put on ice is schmoney. if i gotta stay poor i might as well be really fucking poor and do something i actually care about

[indynerdgirl]

Saw a post of an anti saying that they are leaving AO3, as they are too uncomfortable to post their fics there now. The reason? They found out one of their long time readers was a proshipper, despite their fics having proship dni. And how "that includes silent readers too, I don't want you all looking at my content."

My brother in christ, you are posting on the fiction freedom site. The proshipping site. Dnis aren't god damn restraining orders. They are one tool in helping you display your boundaries. It's still on you to enforce your boundaries. You post something publicly, you forfeit your ability to regulate who can view your work. If you're obsessive enough, you can regulate who actually interacts with your work by stalking each person in the kudos list, comments, or bookmarks and then blocking snyone you don't like, but you do not get a say on who may silently read your posts. Not unless you private your work and only show it to specific people.

And if you don’t want proshippers to interact, get off the profic site.

[ex-furry]

i shouldn't have to stumble across posts this month that are trying to tell me that "homosexuality cannot be reconciled with christ," the bible is infallible, and the criticism of biblical translations discredits translations of all ancient texts. that shouldn't have to happen to me

[dreamyflower-nya]

THIS IS HOW RUFIOH GREW UP????? HAHAHAHAHA OMG THAT'S FUCKING HILARIOUS

[reyreadersblog]

i'm actually pissed off.

I am sure everyone in grishaverse fandom has seen this negative review of six of crows. If you don't know who i am talking about..

This, i'm talking about this specific review.

(Go watch it if you haven't but know that it the dumbest review ever)

(I couldn't take a better screenshot, *cough* she didn't deserve it *cough*)

At first when she started critisizing the book, i though "woah.." because it's one of my favourite books, but since everyone has different opinions, i decided to watch the video, in order to understand what she disliked about this book.

I don't know why, but i expected logical a explanation from her, mabye because she is a grown ass woman...

and what came out of this woman's mouth actually shocked me💀

First of all "it's a fucking heist for god's sake" and mabye she has sight problems? Because it litearlly says "six dangerous outcasts. One impossible heist" on the freaking cover so wtf did she expect?

"Do i look like that's something i would enjoy?" (Keep in mind she read the full summary) let me answer your question with a question, are you dumb? It's a ya book about group of teenagers with a heartbreaking past who go on this dangerous heist, if it is something you know you will not enjoy, then why tf did you read it in the first place?

Oh and uhm..this is her bio

She also said "half of the book was written in different laguage" saying that at your grown age is insane...

A. I understand that it is a little difficult to get into it, especially if you haven't read shadow and bone, and i haven't read it so it was a bit hard to understand certian magic elements in the book, but nothing that a human's brain can't comperhend...

B. Saying those kind of things about a YA book is crazy. I've seen her videos before and she is definitley one of those "i can't read a book if there is no smut" kind of reader, (litearlly her bio) so when you are reading a ya book and you decide to critisize it just because there was no smut in it is EMBARASSING, the book is about literal teens with trauma and you expect them to have sex??? DISGUSTING.

C. Soc has one the best romance subplot(s), oh wait let me spell it: S-U-B-P-L-O-T.

Definition:

And again, if you know you're a an adult romance girlie (with a lot of smut) , why are you reading a ya fantasy book with a HINT of romance in it and then start shitting about it??

Atp it's not even a "negative review" it's an insufferable blabbering.

Six of crows is an amazing duology and mabye next time she shouldn't read a book she know she won't like!?!

Like...go read Credence or any book by Penelope Douglas tbh

And leave ya books alone from this fucking smut for god's sake.

[mutter-of-dragons]

Oh no! Mirri did nothing wrong, you see. She only took advantage of Dany’s naivety since, you know, 14 year old pregnant girl, struggling to do her best to protect the Lhazarene women who were raped, which also includes Mirri! And then proceeded to fool Dany into thinking she was going to save Drogo’s life, but she was actually murdering Rhaego while doing so! :D See? Nothing. wrong. ever! /sarcasm Mirri isn’t an innocent woman regarding her own choice to kill an unborn child in the womb, and not only she didn’t tell the mother of her intentions, she actually felt justified in doing so to spit on Dany’s face. Mirri is there to show that you can’t try to help everyone and expect them to be grateful, especially when this person felt like they were wronged before. Don’t give me the “Rhaego was going to be the Stallion that Mounts the World” and kill thousands bs. She took the last bit of family that Daenerys had left for herself (she doesn’t even dream of knowing about Jon), which resulted in Dany being unable to have her own children in the future.  Don’t give me the “Mirri is an innocent” crap. This woman knew very well what she wanted to do, she knew she was at fault and SHE DIDN’T REGRET IT! She thought she was justified in taking that life! Both for her own personal vendetta and regarding the Stallion prophecy! That’s why she was defiant to the end!  Next they will try to say that Dany isn’t “heroic” or whatever that shit is supposed to mean because she DARED to stand up against her brother. HOW DARE SHE! Damned if she does something, damned if she does nothing. Go back to your fanfiction world, jonnelsansa. May you find more comfort there where Dany can be this Disney villain to your precious Disney princess Salsa.

imagin having a url “jonnelsansa” and thinking you have any right to cry about daenerys oh god when will these ppl stop talking out loud

[prettynice8]

Kinkmas Day 1: Rimming

Paring: Kakashi Hatake x male reader

This guy

Warnings: Rimming DUH, anal fingering, teasing, slight begging, little bottom twinky fuck me daddy feminine male reader, no actual sex, enemies to lovers? I think that's it

Word Count: 1,307

Fuck him. Fuck his pretty silver hair that I just want to run my hands through while he eats my ass, his muscular form that must have been crafted by the sage of six paths himself, his beautiful attention catching eye, his mysterious mask, his (what I hope is) insanely large dick. Just fuck the whole thing (I wish).

Of course, the only person you could be thinking of is the one and only Kakashi Hatake, copy ninja of the leaf, and the hottest mother fucker to ever exist. Oh god did you have an obsession with him. Having wet dream after wet dream about him, screaming his name while masturbating, and it doesn't help that you catch him staring at you all the time almost as much as he catches you staring at him.

This whole obsession started a month ago when you saw him reading one of his goddamn sex books in the middle of the street. You walked over to him and asked why he was reading erotica in a VERY public place, and he just looked at you "Because it's hot." he stated matter-of-factly. The nerve of some people, from then on you two would see each other walking around, say hi, go your respective ways. It's been that way ever since; stolen glances and fuck me eyes since.

Until now. You were done with man after man not fulfilling you like you think he may be able to, maybe, it's a complete guess but he just gives off the vibe. Anyway, you saw him reading his demented sex shit again when you decided to make your fantasies a reality once and for all. You walk behind the bench he was sitting on and read the words on the page and HOLY SHIT IT'S GAY RIMMING. You mentally scream into the pillow like a 15-year-old girl who just found out her crush is available, which is kind of like what's going on.

"Uhm, can I help you?" Kakashi questions in his horny inducing voice, with a little annoyance sprinkled in through all the underwear wetting.

"Oh sorry, am I disturbing a public jack off sesh." You coldly state with a smirk on your face, hand doing a little masturbation gesture.

"Do you mind." he says rhetorically, the twinge of annoyance from earlier much more noticeable now.

"If you didn't want someone to talk to you then why are you reading 'that' on a public bench in the middle of the street again?" you sassily question.

"Because I wanted to read outside, privately." He answers, you look at him like he's the dumbest man in the whole world.

"Then why, in the absolute fuck, are you reading in the street you attention whore." you rhetorically ask, the previous sass now developed into genuine frustration as you walk around the bench to be right in front of him.

"That's cute coming from you." he chuckles.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" you ask.

"Don't act dumb, you have been trying to get into my pants for weeks now." he exclaims, you start to blush, ensuring that what he said is true.

"Don't act so high and mighty with me. I've seen you look at me too bitch." you state. He stands up, his large frame completely dwarfing you, his eyes almost angry. You do a cartoonish and audible gulp, the fear enhancing the horniness.

It's quiet for a while until he leans down,

"And what of it" he whispers in your ear and grabs you ass tightly, not caring if anyone sees. You let out a soft yelp at the sudden sign of attraction. You're completely stunned, not knowing what to do. He realizes this and before you can think any more, he holds you close and grabs your ass tighter and whispers,

"My place." It wasn't even a question or a request, it was a demand. One that even given the choice you wouldn't say no to.

Before you know it you're already on your way to Kakashi's place. He's giving you a piggyback ride to save time, and because he wants that juicy cake as quickly as possible, his mind is going crazy with your legs wrapping around him.

Finally, you make it to his place and immediately you both rush into his room. Right when you both enter you get off his back and onto the bed. Your legs spread as he takes off both your pants and underwear and tosses them both to the side.

"Now, turn around and bend over." already making demands and he hasn't even bought you dinner yet, not that you care because without a single moment of hesitation you are already on your hands and knees.

Without warning he immediately put his long skilled digit into your readily awaiting hole. He moves slowly as he starts to open you up. All the while you let out quiet moans.

"Your little moans are so cute." he said. Suddenly you feel a second finger enter you. He stays at the same excruciatingly slow pace. While he's pumping his fingers, he starts to feel the rest of your ass, rubbing it sensually and squeezing at the sensitive skin.

He puts in the third finger and his speed starts to pick up. Now your moans start to get louder as his three fingers stay at a steady and quick speed. He pumps them in and out over and over with precise repetition.

his fingers start to curl inside you, twisting and turning inside you perfectly. It's at this point that you are officially a moaning mess. The all too familiar feeling churns into your stomach. His fingers start turning and hitting your sweet spot consistently.

Then the feeling of relief washes over you as his fingers twist and hit your spot for the final time. You let out a loud moan and crash into the bed, cumming without even him putting his dick in you.

But he wasn't satisfied with just feeling inside you as he picked you up and brought you to your hands and knees again.

"Not yet sweetheart." he says as he starts to rub and massage your ass cheeks, caressing them to his desire. He gives you a quick and sharp spank, you cry out in pleasure from the surprise as he watches you ass jiggle in awe.

He puts his mask down and licks your ass, putting small and harmless love bites from time to time. Each lick and bite getting closer and closer to your hole. You start begging him to just devour you already. "Please, god I've fantasized about this please." you cry out, wanting, no, craving for his tongue.

"Well since you asked so nicely." he calmly states, though you can tell the excitement in his voice, aware that he wants this too. He licks lines on your cheek until FINALLY taking small licks on your entrance. Your spine chills in anticipation and pleasure and your breathing becomes shaky.

He licks languid circles on your entrance slowly. His hands are still caressing the rest of your ass. Your legs are shaking due to the stimulation and your cock is as hard as can be. He stops his simple licking and finally puts his tongue in your ass.

It starts off slowly but develops quickly into a fast pace, his tongue going in and out of you. You are now officially a moaning mess as his tongue is assaulting your hole. He continues this and then starts to put his fingers back in your hole while his mouth is still doing its job.

The familiar feeling in your stomach starts to build up again as his talented hands and mouth works on your asshole. Your moans crescendo until finally you climax for the second time of the night.

And you're not done yet.

THE END

[olderthannetfic]

I follow a couple writing blogs and some of the advice they give makes me wonder if they ever actually like. Interact with readers.

I keep seeing posts from them like "Show don't tell! Trust your readers, they're smart! They'll understand what's going on!"

And it's like, are you sure about that?

Some people don't know how to read or interpret anything. I read a comic online and in the last page one of the characters fell into a huge mud puddle. In the latest page she's shown standing kind of far away in the background, all muddy.

I've seen multiple comments from people going "omg is that blood? Is she okay? Is that a gunshot wound?"

So yeah no shit writers are worried about their work being misunderstood and misinterpreted. You can literally show a character falling into mud and people will still not understand that it will result in them being covered in mud.

--

I think that advice means "Don't make your work as dumb as the dumbest reader because that loses you the ones you actually want."

[notcryingtoday]

I love Arcane and the fandom but the only fanfictions I will ever read will totally be about Vi and Jayce being stupid together

And it better be the stupidest, dumbest, most out of characters shit I've ever read.

[demonslayerunhinged]

Unhinged rant >:(

Demon Slayer fandom discourse

I want to start this by saying, I know that Demon Slayer isn't an explicitly queer manga/anime because Shōnen Jump, but I believe that Demon Slayer is for the queers and has lots of themes that we can identify with like love, acceptance, loss, guilt and strength.

Despite what these stupid, smelly, ignorant, power-scaling, non-ass-washing, Cheetos-dust-snorting, once-a-month-showering, dude-bros would have you believe, Demon Slayer isn't just another battle Shōnen anime/manga, it's a love story and about the perseverance of the human spirit and if that doesn't speak to the queer experience then I don't know what does.

Plus, I don't know how Gotogue-sensei is as a person, but I think the fact that she managed to make one of the kindest mcs in shōnen speaks volumes about her disposition. I don't think she would be one to reject queer fans identifying with her story so well.

In these recent times, it seems like everything is going to shit, the world is slowly regressing into the dark ages destroying decades of progress and trying to distract ourselves from all this by engaging with the fandoms we love is hard because everything seems to cater to cis, straight, white men.

To be honest, I created this blog mostly out of spite, but I also wanted to carve out a tiny space for myself where I can talk out of my ass and not have some decrepit reddit dude bro go all 'well, ackshually ☝🤓' on me, and I'm happy to have met so many like-minded people.

So, I've compiled a list of answers to the common types of nonsense drivel these fuckers post in response to shipping and queer discussions and theories about Demon Slayer. You can copy and paste whenever and wherever you encounter these black holes of ignorance and stupidity if you want.

In the Taisho era, there were no gay/queer people: This is one of the dumbest statements I've ever heard, and the fact that it's a really common response really shows how we've failed as a society. Queer people have existed for ages all over the world, Japan has an extensive queer history. Demon Slayer is based on samurai culture and samurai culture was really, really, really, really, really, really, really gay. Sure, it had rigid roles, but that doesn't make it any less queer. A quick Google search would go a long way to nourish that dried-out, shrivelled husk you call a brain. Go read a book you walking condom ad, your parents and education system have obviously failed you.

It's forcing sexuality into the story: We literally had a whole season dedicated to the mcs going to the 'entertainment district', we have a sexy man with three wives who talks about 'loving' them all equally, we have the abundant male fanservice, one of the mcs talks about women on the daily, we have a boy who eats demons and is horny shy around girls all the time, we have his brother who exposes his tits because he's proud of them, we have a demon who was essentially a sexual predator that targeted 16-year-old girls and ate them, the main villain shape-shifts into a woman to 'get' information as a Geisha, we have a girl who literally lusts after almost everyone she meets but yea no lets not force sexuality into it 🙄.

I don't care: Okay cool, but I value your opinion as much as I value the shit I took this morning.

It's who they are as a character that matters: Sexuality is a part of a person's character. Your sexuality defines your experiences, decisions, options and outlook on life. That's why you as a straight man can be so ignorant.

It's forced*(I really hate this one): Honestly, fuck you. Why is it that you only think something is forced when it doesn't revolve around you and your experiences? You guys are fine with tons of anime/manga that sexualize women and girls to an insane degree even when it doesn't make sense, but that doesn't stop you from consuming and glazing the hell out of the authors, but when we talk about including queer characters suddenly it's forced? Your existence is forced, and you can just eat shit.

I don't like it: Who the fuck do you think you are dictating how other people consume and interpret the media they consume? How about you go hump your smelly, cum-encrusted anime body pillow.

Men can be touchy/emotional with each other without it being gay, it's just our western standards: No it isn't the majority of shipping activities and works come from Japan, which wouldn't happen if it was just part of their culture. We're not stupid, we know men and boys can be friends without it being sexual, and we know when a friendship is just that, and then we know when two guys are straight up pining for one another.

It's not canon/the mangaka didn't explicitly state it: They can't because of Shōnen Jump, so a lot of them pass off information about a character through subtext, metaphors and allegories. They also don't have to, things don't have to outright stated or 'canon' for them to make sense and if you need them to be so for you to understand or enjoy the story then a moment of silence for your head since it's without a brain.

It's not common: Despite Shōnen Jump, there are lots of mainstream anime/manga that have queer characters: One Punch Man, Hunter x Hunter, Dr. Stone, Windbreaker, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, Naruto, Gintama, Dragon Ball Z, My Hero Academia, Fairy Tail, One Piece, Attack on Titan, Tokyo Ghoul, Jujutsu Kaisen, Chainsaw Man, Blue Period and that's not to talk of the ones with queer subtext like I dunno ALL Sports anime/manga to ever exist!

Why do you look for LGBTQ in everything?: It might be hard for straights to understand but growing up queer and looking for a connection causes us to develop what we call a gaydar that helps us identify characteristics, mannerisms, features and vibes from a person that screams 'ONE OF US! ONE OF US!'. It's only natural, and our gaydar doesn't suddenly turn off when we're consuming media, especially when it's media that we love and hold dear to our hearts. It doesn't matter if the mangaka inserted these characteristics intentionally or not, that doesn't stop us from picking up on them, and why should it?

Shipping is stupid: So is power-scaling, but that doesn't stop you assholes from making thousands of posts, creating YouTube channels and sharing content about it and cramming it down our throats. It's even worse because it's from grown-ass men.

The characters have no chemistry/they hate each other: A lot of queer ships have more chemistry, history, interactions, personality and development than a lot of 'canon' straight couples. It's literally a trope in media that all a man and a woman need to be in a relationship is to be in close proximity to each other, then their relationship goes on to be drier than salted crackers in silicone packets scattered in the Sahara desert. Well, I guess you can't blame the creators, you write what you know after all.

I know this is a lot and I know how angry I sound right now, but I'm so sick and so tired of all these guys who are as useful to the human race as pieces of freshly shat out dog turds that have been thrown in the grass by the sidewalk in a hot summer afternoon, who can't see past their lice-infested neck beards trying to make something as colorful, interesting, joyful and queer as anime and the fandoms fit their own boring, stupid and misogynistic worldview.

In Conclusion, Demon Slayer is amazing, horny* and unbelievably queer.

*I'm talking about the male fanservice btw :)

[astriddestelle]

Imagine seeing black fan art of an anime and not thinking oh cute/cool and moving on.

No instead you get all in your feels and start spouting racist shit, make the VA for the main character who is black deactivate his account and dox a minor all because you didn’t like “check notes” the skin color an artist chose to use for fan art that “checks notes again” has no influence on the show at all.

Fucking pathetic. I mean that from the bottom of my soul.

I will never understand why people get so hung up on fan art. It doesn’t take away from the actual media. It’s equivalent to fanfic don’t like don’t read. Don’t like the art keep fucking scrolling don’t interact with it.

I see fan art I don’t like all the time I would never go out of my way to criticize it cause who fucking cares what some other person draws. It has no affect on my life, by the time I get off social media I've already forgot what the art looked like.

Not to mention none of yall have the talent or skill to draw at that level. Skill-less ass losers. If you don’t like seeing Sero as Hispanic, draw your own fan art and post it, build your own feed, and just don’t interact with art you don't like, it’s not that hard.

And it’s funny as hell cause yall will draw an underage ten year old anime girl hella sexualized with huge titties or some uke shotacon boy and be like it’s just a drawing they're not real blah blah blah but let it be a redraw with a person of color and yall start foaming at the mouths like the miserable rabid dogs you are.

Then yall double down in the dumbest of ways, drawing a darker skin character as light in some sort of gotcha. Like way to miss the point of the character.

It’s always the same arguments that get brought up what if I made Black Panther white. When the whole point of Black Panther is the fact that he’s a Black African. Notice how no one ever calls for Black Bruce Wayne, why cause Bruce is a rich blue blood in America, the likelyhood of said person being black is minuscule. Superman on the other hand could be black bro's an alien. Aquaman was race swapped in the movies and no one gave a shit I wonder why (here's a hint, he passes the paperbag test)

The real reason black characters can’t be race swapped is cause their race is embedded into their character, why, one cause back then when they were being introduced there were no black characters so half of their character was revolved around them being wait for it, black. Because of said reason above, society and the media seems to believe that you can’t have a black character without their being some sort of reasoning behind it. (I.e why is their black people in this show, why is so and so black, despite it not changing anything about the story)

Don’t even get me started on the fact that none of yall would ever dare say this to any person of color in real life cause you’re a bunch of pathetic losers who would get beat to a pulp.

Just sick and tired of the racism so prevalent in fan communities. Cause it's all communities not just anime.

Yall still salty over people drawing Harry Potter as Indian and Hermione as black, or Pansy Parkinson as Asian. Lucas and Erica from stranger things are heavily criticized for every thing their character does and yall hype up every other character cause they’re white. Obsessed with Eddie for doing what exactly? The same shit Lucas does helping his friends fight the upside down. Caleb still has the least amount of followers out of all the men wonder why (hint he doesn't pass the paper bag test)

I don’t intend for this to get much traction hence why I posted it hella late at night but yeah I’m tired and needed to vent.

[loveysloveclub]

meeting the freshmen - the man! au

in which, mark and ethan ruin molly's chance of making a good first impression with the new freshmen.

"god! i am so excited!" molly explained as she dropped onto the couch of her new home for her sophomore year of college. the group of sophomores had been back at school for about a week now, and were finally going to be able to meet the new freshmen that would be joining their hockey team.

"why?" ethan scoffed from beside her, engrossed in a game he was playing on his phone. the boys had yet to set up the new television in the sophomore house, so, instead of playing play station like they usually would, they had all downloaded a variety of games on their phone.

"because we get to meet the new freshies." molly stated in a 'duh' tone. mark chuckled at her from across the room, also engrossed on a game on his phone. "you're like the same age as them."

"you're like the same age as them." molly mocked the boy, pulling her own phone out of her pocket to text dylan about how annoying their friends were. "i do not sound like that!" mark exclaimed, offence dripping from his tone.

molly opened her mouth to rebut his claim, but was cut off by ethan. "and stop talking shit about us to duker." ethan butted in, his eyes not leaving his phone screen. "i'm not talking shit about you to duker." molly's phone pinged, the reply from dylan agreeing with her making her laugh loudly.

"yes, you are. you guys always do it." ethan rebutted, rolling his eyes before switching off his phone and sliding it into his pocket.

"can we go? we're gonna be late for bowling." mackie asked, slightly annoyed by his unreliable new roommates. "god forbid we're late for bowling!" molly exclaimed, her hand flying to her chest in faux horror.

mackie raised his eyebrows at the girl. and she suddenly felt as if she was a child being scolded by her parents. "i can't find my shoes." molly told the boy, holding her socked feet up in the air.

"we're going bowling, you don't need shoes." dylan explained as he also walked into the living room, also shoeless. "that's the dumbest thing i've ever heard you say." mark laughed, earning a confused face in return.

"is it though?" ethan asked aloud.

"i'm right here, you know?" dylan threw his arms up. "text molly about it." ethan shot back, a small grin tugging at his lips as he watched the smaller boy begin to get agitated. dylan simply shrugged before grabbing his phone and tapping his fingers against his screen aggressively. mere seconds later, molly's phone pinged with another message.

"dylan wants you to know that your on his shit list and he won't be speaking to you for the rest of the day." she read aloud, eyes flickering over to ethan who was reading the message from over her shoulder.

"molly." luke said, walking into the room with her shoes in his hand before throwing at them, to which molly barely caught without elbowing ethan in the face.

"okay, let's go!" mackie exlciamed, ushering everyone up from their spot on the couch. molly walked at the back of the group, laughing as she watched dylan get a scolding from mackie whilst luke laughed from beside him.

the girl didn't even flinch when an arm wrapped around her shoulder. "omg! i'm so excited to meet the new freshies!" mark squealed in her ear. "they're gonna be sooo cute!" ethan exclaimed from the other side of her.

"i'm gonna glue your dick to your forehead, estapa."

"what about ethan?" mark was offended that he was the only one who was being threatened. "i have much worse things in store." molly huffed before stabbing her now shoed heel into ethan's toes before walking faster to catch up with the rest of her friends.

it was no surprise to any of their former teammates that the group of sophomores were the last ones to arrive to the annual hockey bowling day. the group of six usually spent more time arguing then getting ready and were often late to just about everything.

it was also no surprise that dylan and molly had both gasped upon arrival, talking hurriedly about the bowling place selling slushies and running off hand in hand. the rest of the sophomores didn't even bat an eye as they continued to greet the rest of their teammates.

"you must be luca." ethan stated before doing what molly liked to call 'the douchebag' handshake. all guys did it, she thought it was funny. it was as if it was their love language towards one another. "yeah, and this is my brother adam and rutger and nick." the boys all went down the line doing their weird little 'douche' handshake. if molly wasn't currently overfilling her cup and spilling slushy all over the floor, she would have dropped dead with laughter right in that moment.

"i thought there was six of you?" rutger questioned aloud, his eyes raking the rest of the team for anyone he might have not met. "there is." ethan replied, a devious smirk on his face as he pointed over to the slushy machine where dylan was currently hunched under while molly over filled his mouth with blue ice.

"that's dylan drinking from the machine and the one trying to drown him in blue raspberry slushy is molly." mark told the group, the four freshmen holding back laughs of their own as they watched the duo get in trouble by the worker.

"i wouldn't be laughing if i was you, dylan's nice and all, but molly?" ethan began, a small grin on his lips as he spoke before blowing out a breath of air. the four already nervous freshmen tore their eyes away from dylan and molly to look at the edwards boy. mackie rolled his eyes, not even bothering to attempt to fix the mess they were creating before stalking off some place else.

"what do you mean?" adam asked, his eyes flickering back and forth between the blonde girl and the three boys who stood in front of her. luke had a confused expression on his face whilst mark seemed to understand the game that ethan was playing.

"yeah, molly's real mean until she thinks you're good enough to be friends with her."

"no she's-" luke was cut off when ethan elbowed him in his stomach.

"shit she's coming over. she so knows we were talking about her." mark exclaims. "yeah, she looks pissed." ethan laughed slightly before dragging a still confused luke away from the crime scene, mark following behind the two.

molly had since lost duker, who decided he needed to get something hot to eat since he could no longer feel his tongue. but she couldn't wait to meet her new teammates any longer, so she opted to leaving the numb mouthed boy in the line for food.

she watched with furrowed eyebrows as mark and ethan laughed at something with the new freshmen before stalking off, and dragging luke with them. approaching the four new faces, all of them turned to her with looks she could only describe as concerned.

they looked at her as if they had seen a ghost.

"hello?" her eyebrows were furrowed and her lips were turned upwards. but none of the boys spoke. molly chalked it up to them being nervous.

"slushy?" she asked as she held out the multi coloured liquid. all four boys glanced down at the slushy, "is it poisoned?" one of them asked, eliciting a laugh from the girl. "yeah, i put the rat poison i carry around in my pockets in it when no one was looking. no, you weirdos, it isn't poisoned. why would it be poisoned?"

"mark and ethan said you weren't very friendly." one of them spoke cautiously, earning an elbow into the stomach from his friend beside him. "mark and ethan are also going to wake up with missing limbs." molly grumbled before stomping away from the group of four, leaving them in a state of confusion.

she approached the two laughing sophomores, who were currently talking to their new captain, nolan moyle.

nolan took one look at molly and stood up from his seat. "i don't know what you two did, but i'm not saving your asses again."

mark and ethan's smiling faces dropped when they saw the sour face their friend was pulling. "it was ethan's idea!" mark immediately said when molly stood in front of them. "dude!" ethan shot back, shooting his friend an incredulous glance.

"you told them i wasn't a nice person?" molly exclaimed, her voice hushed to a whisper type of yell to avoid any of their nosy teammates eavesdropping. "we were just joking around. c'mon maxxy, everyone knows you're a nice person." ethan told the girl.

"they don't! they've never met me, and now they think i'm going to poison them." molly had had enough, and opted to saving her breath and not yelling at the two boys in the middle of what was supposed to be a fun day. instead, she stomped over to luke and flopped down on the couch beside him.

"you good, maxxy?"

"i'm calling ethan's mother and telling her he got someone pregnant." molly announced, angrily snatching her phone out of her pocket, only for luke to snatch it out of her hand and shove it in his own pocket.

"the freshmen will figure out you aren't a horrible person, and are only mean 70% of the time." luke shrugged, the statement earning him a slap upside the head.

"i'm never mean."

"yes, you are. but we love that about you, they will too. trust me on this, maxxy." and with that, luke stood up and travelled to the other side of the room, taking molly's phone with him and leaving her to sit there in a state of boredom.

usually, she would be messing around with mark and ethan but they were both on her hit list and it would be a successful day if neither of them went home with a broken foot in the shape of a bowling ball.

"why are you sitting here alone?" her eyes snapped up to truscott, who eyed her suspiciously. "am i a mean person?"

"do you want me to answer that honestly?" he replied, a humorous smile on his face. "you're meant to say, 'no you're perfect molly. we all love you, molly'. not whatever you just said."

"i'm not getting involved." he shook his head before stalking off to ask someone else what had happened.

molly released a huff of frustration, glancing down at her shoes as she clicked the tops of them together. upon hearing multiple pairs of feet approach her, molly lifted her head, expecting to see some of her teammates tell her that it was time to start bowling. she hoped not, she had no faith that her pink bowling ball wouldn't end up flying in the direction of where mark and ethan were sitting, both boys sending her apologetic pouts from across the room. what she didn't expect was to see all four new freshmen towering over here.

the one in the middle, who had long blonde hair and a backwards cap on his head, smiled shyly before holding out a cup full of blue ice. "slushy?"

molly smiled before taking the cup. "i'm luca, this is my brother adam, rutger and nick."

"it's nice to meet you."

"we wanted to let you know that we don't believe what ethan and mark told us." rutger nodded his head in agreement to what nick was saying.

"thanks ladies, i appreciate the gesture." molly smiled up at the group. "even though i have been informed that i can be quite mean, i promise never to be mean to any of you because you're all children."

"aren't we the same age?" adam asked, his eyebrows pulled together in confusion. "hush now, child." molly held up a finger, silencing the boy.

"yo! freshies, it's your turn!" nolan yelled from across the bowling alley.

"but seriously, thank you." molly repeated, smiling softly at the group of freshmen, who all nodded their heads whilst adorning shared smiles before walking off.

molly released a sigh of relief at the fact that the freshmen were no longer scared that she was going to poison them, leaning back in her seat.

her moment of relaxation was cut off when a body jumped into the spot beside her and a pair of arms wrapped loosely around her neck.

"we would like to formally apologise." ethan began from beside her, pulling on a piece of her blonde hair lightly to get her attention. molly's eyes narrowed, but she made no effort in moving away from the boy or pushing mark off of her.

"continue."

"we shouldn't of did what we did, we thought we were being funny." mark told the girl, his hands fiddling together in front of her face. molly smiled at the nervous action. "and if the freshmen thought we were being serious and do anything to offend you, we'll sort them out. we promise." ethan continued, holding up his pinky finger.

molly slapped his hand away. "you can't do that."

"why not?"

"because i've adopted them all and taken them under my wing. so, that means they're my children and you're not even allowed to look at them wrong."

"is this why you were so excited to meet them?" mark asked as the trio watched from afar as luca and rutger celebrated one of them getting a strike. molly hummed in confirmation, "i didn't have anyone to look out for me my first year, i didn't want them to feel the same." her voice was quiet now as she shrugged her shoulders in an attempt of brushing her feelings off.

"well, now you've got someone. two someones to be exact." ethan cheesed from beside her.

"you guys are still going to wake up with missing limbs and angry phone calls from your mothers."

[youandmedead]

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Warnings: ⚠️SPOILERS⚠️, swearing

Notes: Dude Mutant Mayhem was so fucking good, so in order to honour the release of it here is some dumb thoughts I've been thinking of ever since I saw it. A second part may potentially be out soon but looking from a more angst perspective

⛥ Leo is 100% a fanfic reader and most likely writes stories about him and April. I think that it's all started because he found Donnie reading some about his favourite anime characters and got curious and asked him about it, to which Donnie went on for ages about fanfiction in general, to different tropes, clichés etc!

⛥Donnie and Mikey definitely seem like the type of kids who ended up on the wrong side of the internet as very young kids and found the most goriest shit ever

⛥When Raph was a little kid he found a plushie when him and his brothers were exploring the sewer. He deemed it cute but because his brothers were all teasing him over it he left it and then went out on his own to find it and brought it back to the lair. He tried to hide it and then cuddle it when he was feeling sad but one day Splinter found it and brought it up to him in front of the others, making him embarrassed. However, to this day it is still hidden somewhere underneath the covers.

⛥The guys secretly watched some super gory horrors one time after splinter said not to and they all freaked themselves out over it but they tried to hide it from splinter. When Splinter eventually did find out, he did things to specifically scare each turtle in order to teach them a lesson (which he heavily enjoyed doing). They'd always discuss the scenarios the final girl was put through and what they would do in that situation at night and then the whole thing about "freaky" stuff happening to them would be brought up...it took them a very long time to realise that it was just Splinter fucking with them.

⛥They all watched vines and quote them from day to day

⛥Leo loves to collect plant and flowers but when he brings them down to the lair they die within a week and he has definitely cried over at least half of them.

⛥Mikey is definitely the type of person to eat the world's nastiest food combos and enjoy it

⛥Mikey and Raph have constant bets over who can do the dumbest shit

⛥Leo always felt quite isolated from the group at times and it always made him feel self conscious and more different from the others.

⛥I think that Mikey constantly worries about his brothers and Splinter - especially Leo.

⛥Mikey, Donnie and Raph are the type of kid to lick the backs of magic stars and then stick two together in order to eat them

⛥ Leo is terrible with directions

⛥ Donnie and Mikey believe in the 'if you don't repost this video in (however long) you will die/get bad luck

⛥ They are all heavily invested in the yellow car game and Leo is always the one to get punched the most (Mikey and Raph are very competitive)

[gilgil-machine]

Character ask game: 2, 25, and/or 8 for Gilgamesh?

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

I have a lot of things that I love about Gilgamesh.

Him being a total tsundere. Like I just can't look at him without a goofy smile on my face when he acts like this. He's just so adorable when he's like this.

Like just look at this dude, he's literally sweating���� It's okay, Gil, we know.

His love for manga and video games and that that he also sometimes makes references from those pieces of media as well. Like this dude is just my spirit animal😅

He's a competitive idiot. Like you can make him do the most dumbest shit by just saying "What's wrong, chicken? Scared?" and he would do anything to prove his point.

Him talking nonstop about things that excite him, dear to him or he's just passionate about while looking all proud and smug. Really love when he does this.

Him being a soft and gentle soul. It's quite a rare thing but it happens and it's the sweetest and most beautiful shit you'll ever see.

Like he got so mesmerized by nature that he decided to make a small poem but when he realizes that it came out not good he decided to make another one. It's just so CUTECUTECUTE🙈💕

And I just love him being a goofy goober in general😆

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

I really hate when people mischaracterize him and twisting the whole information about him. And sometimes it makes me think that people read VN and watch anime with their asses and not eyes.

When people hating him for just the sake of hating and treating him like he's the only terrible character in the series. It's just so frustrating and tiring to see him always being dragged through the dirt without any reason. I mean sure he did some terrible things (that I judge him for and hold him accountable for) but also Nasu did his best to show everyone that he's more than just arrogant asshole. He has a great story and deep character that is worthy to have a chance to be learned about in my opinion.

And when people separate archer Gilgamesh and caster Gilgamesh (also I've seen how people were separating archer Gil and treating each version like some alter ego and in that moment my whole being just left the chat completely from the sheer stupidity that I've read). Like there's a lot of proofs and moments that show us that archer and caster Gil is one and the same person and it just makes me furious when people separate them and treating caster Gil like pure saint and archer Gil like pure evil which is completely wrong and stupid in my opinion and it feels like people just tearing his character apart and making him being incomplete with such actions.

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

In the beginning it was quite neutral I would say. I mean, he caught me with his unique design and his abilities (like the dude just shoots swords, the 13 year old me was baffled to no end😆) also I loved his design in UBW (that leather jacket and white shirt mmm sexy 🫦🫦🫦). But after a few years I got back into fate, read CCC, Hollow Ataraxia and obviously the original source the Epic of Gilgamesh, I fell in love with the guy completely and he's not letting me go ever since and honestly I don't mind and I'm happy that I found a character like Gilgamesh.