#duke thomas is awesome

[deadsetobsessions]

DC canon isn’t real. At least, not to me. I just slowly go through the things I see from comics and shows and compile the parts I like like one those dragons under the blanket, snatching things and hoarding them.

Like, Duke? I know next to nothing about him. But you know what? In my version of the DC universe, the people of Gotham love him in a way they don’t love the Bats. He’s their friend. Sure, a meta friend but at this point who doesn’t have something funky they can do after years of chemical, biological and just plain old warfare on the streets of Gotham? Signal is the guy you flag down during the day when your store’s getting robbed or if you just wanted to talk to someone. He’s there, present in the daylight and real in the way the Bats aren’t. He doesn’t just fly above Gotham like Superman either. You’d catch Signal helping old ladies across the street and trading tips on knitting patterns and skills. You’d catch him hanging out with homeless teenagers and splitting a giant thing of pizza with them, except he takes a small slice and makes sure the rest of them gets enough to fill their stomachs for the day. Once, a criminal decided to jump Signal while he was helping out a lost kid and traffic just stopped cold because people slammed on their brakes to stop and jump out of the car in order to beat the guy up while Signal got the kid to safety. Then they watched as he turned around, used his powers to flashbang the guy, deck him, and then track down the kid’s parents.

Signal is their bestie. Signal is Gotham’s bestie.

Jason? What rubber bullets? No, no, no. He still uses live rounds. Sure, he doesn’t kill when he doesn’t have to, but Jason is very much capable of refraining from murder and also just putting lead between some asshole’s eyes. He doesn’t kill much anymore because he 1) needs the rep of mercy when warranted, 2) likes his family enough 3) is skilled enough not to need to kill and 4) has enough of a reputation where killing is no longer the first thing he has to do to be taken seriously. Also, he killed the Joker, if someone else didn’t do it first and he should be regarded as a, if not a hero, then someone who did something decent. He beat the shit out of Tim and traumatize the poor kid, and did that whole Under the Red Hood thing because he’s got issues with Bruce, but it never made sense to me that he was painted as a villain for it. Like… there’s a whole city that would be toasting Red Hood.

Anyways the world is your oyster and DC canon makes less sense to me than Marvel’s. So.

[gothamite-rambler]

"Weird Questions from a Weird City: Batfamily Edition

Duke Thomas: What’s your biggest fear?

Jason Todd: That I’ll never be good enough for anyone.

Tim Drake: Everyone hates me and talks about me behind my back.

Dick Grayson: Vampires.

Jason Todd: ...

Tim Drake: ...

Dick Grayson: I got turned into one once and nearly killed peoples. It's a bloodlust, you never know when you'll be fully quenched and every non-vampire is a succulent vessel... But I'm not a vampire anymore and that is in my past.

Dick eats his apple after that.

*silence*

Duke Thomas: Holy crap stick, Batman.

Tim: Can I change my option to Dick Grayson?

Jason: Same.

[buds-and-baubles]

i realized..

my blackbird tim costume has a hood, partial cowl, and an optional mouth mask.

my brewing concept for black bat cass has a hood with bat ears, a partial cowl and an optional mouth mask.

damian's robin look has a hood.

duke's signal helmet has got his kickass bat ears.

steph's batgirl partial cowl has y'know.. bat ears. name implied. her spoiler ensemble had the hood and the whole face covering that technically includes a mouth mask.

dick's nightwing has.. a domino mask! no hood or bat ears, but that's okay. two pointer fingers on the top of his head will suffice. if he needs a hood, he shall just put one of his siblings' capes over his head.

[lambsouvlaki]

For the Hell of it - a Visitor

Character: Jason Todd x civilian! Fem!oc

Rating and Warnings: T, violence, swearing.

Word Count: 1968

Summary: A Jason from a different timeline appears in Andy's house. He has the letter 'J' branded on his face.

Masterlist

------

Sometimes it hit Andy that her best friend was an on-again off-again crime lord and an unrepentant killer.

She had a tumultuous relationship with crime herself. She was a felon after all, even if she contested her guilt, it wasn’t a label that came off. Any neat little ideas she was raised with about good people and bad people had been blasted off by the pressure washer of life. 

Sometimes when Jason did something particularly adorable, which was alarmingly frequent, she remembered the new cellmate she got halfway through her sentence. She was in on nonviolent charges but nobody was fooled, she had turned herself in just to get off the streets. That new Red Hood guy had a bone to pick with her. 

The woman stared up at the guard towers in the yard on her first day and asked why there weren’t any spotlights facing outside the prison. She would wake up with a start and stare at through the bars in terror. Every shadow was suspicious. And she wasn’t the only one. Andy, a bookish nineteen year old afraid of making prolonged eye contact, found herself one of few inmates not afraid of the dark.

Really, only the sex workers weren’t afraid of Gotham’s latest nightmare. And wasn’t that bizarre?

Andy once saw Jason cut a radish into a perfect tiny little teddy bear to place atop a bowl of tonkatsu curry, purely because the recipe’s photo included a radish teddy bear and like hell was he going to miss out. This was the man her remorseless murderer cellmate cowered from. Gave up her freedom to escape.

There was that one rumour about a duffel bag of heads. Her cellmate never shut up about it. Andy dismissed it as the invention of terrified thugs with nothing to do on long stints of guard duty.

Having met Jason’s dramatic side, she was pretty sure she owed Cheesewire Wendy an apology.

She still struggled to picture it though. She understood Jason was capable of incredible violence. Intellectually, it was very scary. In practice… in practice she never felt safer than when he was around. Even in the helmet, he flustered her, but she wasn’t afraid of him.

Then she met the Arkham Knight. 

She was on her way home in broad daylight, walking down the corridor of her apartment complex, when she saw a bright strobing light under her own front door. A bizarre sound that made her ears pop rang out and then died at the same time as the light. She frowned, balancing her groceries to rifle through her handbag for her keys, and unlocked the door. 

“Jason, what are you-” She froze. 

She didn’t recognise the man standing in her living room. No, she did recognise him, right down to the way he pointed his gun at her face. He had a ‘J’ branded onto his cheek. In his other hand he loosely held the white and black civilian leather jacket Jason had left here last weekend. 

Andy put her hands up and didn’t move. Her groceries fell to the floor and loose tomatoes and a tin of coconut cream rolled across the hard wood. 

“Shut the door.”

She did as she was told then put her hands back up again. 

He looked at her through cold blue eyes, assessing. He was in military style armour, to her inexperienced eyes, with hard metal plates all over the upper body. A blue and black high tech looking helmet sat high up on his head. He had more weapons on him than she could count.

He had Jason’s face, but not his build, he was shorter, slighter, with pinched features, and there was something hunched about the way he held his upper body.  There was no bat on his chest. 

“You know me.” His voice was unmistakable. 

“I… I don’t know if I do.” 

His lips pursed and he lowered the gun. She didn’t think that was permission to lower her hands. 

“You know the me from this world.” He dropped the jacket on the back of her wheelie chair and cast his eyes over her apartment. Jason’s presence in her life had changed it, sure, but only in small ways. Surely that wasn’t enough to tell him anything? 

What he meant about ‘this world’ was too mad to be true. She stared into blue eyes that had been green for as long as she had known them. He didn’t recognise her. He recognised Jason’s coat. He had a fucking ‘J’ branded onto his face. It was too weird to question when there was a strange man with a gun in her house. 

“Don’t try to deny it. Did he retire from being the perfect and loyal little soldier?” He stalked towards her. “Pretend Gotham is fixed, that he can relax? That he’s safe?” 

“I- I don’t-” she shook her head desperately. “Jason isn’t a soldier. I don’t know what you’re talking about!” 

Maybe he was Jason Todd from another world. But he wasn’t the Red Hood. She had only ever made Jason one promise, and that was to never tell anyone his secret, not even people who already seemed to know. 

He stopped about a foot away from her and glared. Being smaller than her Jason didn’t make him any less terrifying. She blinked frantically, trying to clear the unshed tears of terror from her eyes. She couldn’t go to pieces now, she couldn’t.

After a long moment he scoffed. He stepped back. IF anything he looked kind of put out. She let her hands fall. They were shaking. 

“Can I pick up my things?” she asked.

He grunted. She took it as a yes and crouched down to start rounding up fruit and vegetables. He moved to go look out the windows. She snuck her phone from her pocket, lowered the volume to nothing, and quick-dialled Jason. She put it in the paper grocery bag and put the whole thing on the dining table. 

She cleared her throat and gathered her courage. “What do you want from Jason?” 

He looked at her sidelong. His hands rested lightly on the guns in his thigh holsters. 

“What do you want from me?” she asked. It came out as a rasping whisper. 

“What’s your name?” 

“Andrea.”

“What could I possibly want from you, Andrea?”

“I don’t know. You’re in my apartment. I assumed… for a reason?”

“I can tell you what you should have assumed: that the rest of your life is directly tied to whether or not you piss me off. By, say, calling someone.”

She froze. 

He crossed the room, leisurely, like some prowling creature, and reached over her to grab her phone out of the bag. 

She glimpsed the glowing screen. The green phone symbol for an active call floated over the contact name: ‘Still Has my Casserole Dish’, then the call duration of four minutes and counting. 

The intruder glanced at it, unimpressed. “You can keep the casserole dish,” he said, and ended the call. 

He unclipped one of his guns. 

The windows exploded in a blast of blinding light. 

She didn’t know what happened next, only the sounds of a scuffle, a gun fired twice, and she caught sight of yellow light armour blurring in her compromised vision, before she was standing behind the Signal. 

“Who the hell are you?” the intruder growled, as his helmet snapped down over his face. It’s face lit up with LEDs. 

Signal cocked his head and the LEDs immediately died again half a second before darkness flooded the whole room. The Signal grabbed her and hauled her out the window. 

They were swinging through the air before she fully processed what happened. 

A couple of gunshots followed them, and then silence. 

She looked back, as they stumbled onto a roof.

“Keep going,” Signal said, and pulled her forwards to swing across to a building not in line of sight of her apartment. 

They landed on the bare roof of an abandoned motel. There was no sound of pursuit. It set dread in her stomach. 

What kind of Jason Todd let his target go so easily? Signal looked around, not letting her get too far from him.  

“I don’t know who you’re supposed to be,” an all too familiar voice drawled from above. “Out in the daylight with your meta abilities, but all bats are the same at the end of the day. Predictable.” 

They spun and looked up. Standing perched on the edge of the neighbouring office building was their pursuer. He had a rifle slung over his shoulder. 

Signal stepped in front of Andy and spread his arms. 

A shot rang out, and the foreign Jason staggered forward with a burst of blood. He was hauled backwards before he could fall. Red Hood hit him in the gut.

“Time to get out of here,” Signal said. 

She couldn’t tear her eyes from the sight of the two fighting, what little she could see from this angle at last. 

“We are not hanging around to see the show, lady, they are both shooting live rounds.”

That shook her enough to let him pull her away and swing down to an empty alleyway several blocks away. Andy was beside herself with worry, but Signal wouldn’t let her panic. There were other allies closing in on their location apparently. 

Signal checked her for injuries and made her drink half a bottle of water. A Narrows accent was sneaking its way through the gaps in his suspiciously generic Gotham accent. It was calming. 

“What’s your name?” he asked. 

“Andy. Um. Andrea. But call me Andy.”

“Ha, take that Nightwing.” 

She blinked a couple of times. “What?”

“Hood talks about you all the time. Never says your name though.” He shrugged. “We were curious.” 

“Curious about what?” She asked, both her eyebrows rising. She had to be the least interesting person any of them knew. 

Signal just smiled and shrugged again. She got the feeling she was on the outskirts of some in-joke. 

Before she could chase it up, Red Hood landed heavily on the pavement at the alley’s opening. He was alone.

He stalked towards her, radiating fury and danger. The shaking, panicky thing inside of her chest calmed. He didn’t stop advancing until he was looming over her. 

“Are you hurt?” he asked. The voice modulator did a bad job disguising how upset he was. 

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” she said, her eyes narrowed in on the cracks over the front of his helmet. Blood was smeared over his side. “Are you-”

“It’s not mine.” 

“And the other guy?” Signal asked. 

“Back to his own universe, I think. He disappeared mid-fight. O’s keeping an eye out in case we have any more visitors.”

Signal nodded. “That’s my cue then. Nice meeting you, Andy!” 

He shot his grapple gun and disappeared into the blinding afternoon light. 

Red Hood let out a shaky breath. He took off his helmet to reveal a domino mask underneath. He ran a hand through his loose curls. 

“You have to be more careful,” he said. “He was going to kill you.”

“He was just in my house, I didn’t know what else to do.”

“Calling me was the right thing, but if Signal wasn’t in the area… I wouldn’t have made it in time.”

She sucked in a shaky breath and let it out again. She grabbed his arm just to steady herself.

He pulled her closer and hugged her tight. He leaned his forehead against hers. 

“Alternate you is a real asshole.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

She scoffed. “You called in the cavalry, you saved the day, you don’t get to be sorry.”

“Maybe.” He cupped the back of her head. She felt safe. “I’m going to teach you how to handle yourself in a situation.”

“I don’t want to be in any situations,” she groused, hiding her head in his jacket. Oh, it was sticky. Gross.

“You’re always getting into a situation.”

She sighed.

Next>>

[inact-ice]

Oh…. So like when are Duke and Jason gonna have the talk they were clearly setting up here??

[heartofstanding]

I once saw someone talking about Thomas of Lancaster being bi and for a brief moment I was like "...yeah I'll incorporate that into my worldview" and then I realised they were talking about the Thomas of Lancaster who was the Earl of Lancaster who was executed by Edward II and who Thomas was probably named after.

[sbd-laytall]

AJGDAHJHGFF

Please, he's so funny.

We Are Robin (2015) #5

[midnightecko]

Ok ik it's been forever but I'm starting to write a batfam fic where my oc is Jason's little sister and is around Tim's age but is basically damians caretaker in the league. It's kinda complicated but once I post it yall will get it. I thought of it at like 2 in the morning after waking up and spend the next like 4 hours working out the storyline and timeline. So yeah.... anyways I'm gonna start actually writing it in a couple days or maybe even today. But the point is it'll be out soon. I'm gonna post a little snipit here soon before actually posting on ao3

[himejoshiangels]

oh man I am soo fucking normal <<thinking abt what dukes cutie mark would b

[miniaturefartcloud]

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[palezombieinfluencer]

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[13phantom13angel13]

YES

Do u have any tickle hcs about the bat boys?

yes yes yes yes yes do i ever

under the cut, my love <3

Dick

absolutely just devastatingly ticklish everywhere, but i also think he is weirdly good at hiding it for a little bit, and sometimes the ler trying to tickle him will just eventually give up (big brother powers? zatanna magic?)

his thighs and tummy are his worst spots, and both just absolutely destroy him

he can and will attempt to acrobat his way out of tickling

he 100% once tried to front flip away from Tim when he was trying to tickle dick and jason ended up catching him upside down in the air (and tim totally took advantage)

absolutely the family tickle monster because it is his oldest brother duty

the only sibling that damian actually lets tickle him (because he kind of loves tolerates dick)

Duke

Absolutely the type to accidentally hurt you when you tickle him

If you get his neck? he's karate chopping you. his ribs? he'll elbow you

i hc that jason and duke are close because i think duke would be really into literature too (i think he'd be a big poe fan!!) and they would bond over spending hours in the Wayne manor library

as a result, i think jason tickles duke the most, but i think damian has been indexing moments that he witnesses so he can "accidentally" tickle duke later (bc, despite what he would say, he is a softie and wants to make sure that duke feels like he's a part of the family as much as everyone else is)

i think his worst spots are his ribs and his thighs, but he gets really panicked and giggly when someone tries to go for his neck

i think he's a really timid and considerate ler, and that he's probably stopping every minute or so to make sure the lee is alright (which his siblings find INCREDIBLY flustering)

Damian

he is just a tiny little dude, just an angry tiny guy

he is, like most twelve year olds, ticklish everywhere, but he only ever lets dick or bruce tickle him, and SOMETIMES, jason

his laugh is so cute, and he snorts pretty much the entire time

it embarrasses him incredibly, but he physically cannot fight back when he's tickled, he just kind of lays there and giggles

he does in fact use tickling to his advantage in the manor, and has been known to tickle tim to tears

like steph, i think he secretly knows exactly where everyone is ticklish (except for jason, who, as usualy, remains elusive)

Tim

my sleepy boy, top of my kin list, i am such a tim stannie

99% of the time that he's tickled it's because he is refusing to sleep after 24+ hours working

he's horrendously ticklish pretty much everywhere but his ribs are the absolute worst

he tries really hard to fight back, and he's definitely a flailer, but ultimately he never gets very far and eventually just slumps and tries to curl up

dick, steph, and jason tickle him the most, but bruce puts in his fair share too

when someone tries to tease him he tries to scream through his laughter so he doesn't have to hear it, but ultimately, he is forced to listen

he's not much of a ler, but he will strike every once in a while

Jason

best bat? best bat

i hc that the lazarus pit made him more sensitive, but only bruce, dick, kori, roy, and leslie thompkins know about it, and he has sworn them all to secrecy

the same group are pretty much the only people who know where he's ticklish

actually really ticklish if you can get him pinned, but otherwise he is definitely successfully fighting off any tickle attacks

dick has one method from when they were kids where he'll get jason up against a wall, whether he be on a bed or trapped in on the couch, because the tickling will make jason too weak to try to vault over him (and it's MUCH easier than trying to pin his ass down)

he is definitely the most vicious ler of the house, and his teases absolutely mortify his siblings

his signature move is grabbing both wrists of an unsuspecting family member, hauling them over their head, and tickling them to tears with his free hand

[glitter-stained]

Batfam magical girl AU where a magical villain's spell fucks with the Gotham smog and causes the constellations of the Gotham night sky to shatter and fall. People who were standing there in the street at that moment are suddenly hit with magical fragments and becoming the Galaxy, also known as Stars of Gotham, magical protectors of the city now that the power of the enchanted Gotham night sky is broken and can't protect it from the forces of evil anymore (which explains why the city is so ridden with crime).

Bruce's new ward, Dick Grayson, is running away from the manor to try and hunt down his parents' murderer, Bruce hot on his tail. The two of them arrive to the harbour during the Starfall. Dick is hit with two fragments, the Constellation of the Robin and the dormant Constellation of the Bird, which get lodged in his heart. Bruce is hit with the Constellation of the Bat in a similar manner.

Barbara Gordon shouldn't be sneaking out, really, but her dad still hasn't come home from the police precinct and she just wanted to walk there and take him home when she is struck with the dormant Constellation of the Whispering Woman.

A couple alleys over, a very young boy is hiding from his mom's dealer in the alley near his apartment complex when he is hit by the dormant Constellation of the Wolf.

Over in the Bowlery, Crystal Brown is walking with her baby in her arms when said baby is hit with the dormant Constellation of the Closed Fist.

In the Narrows, Ellen Thomas is struck with the power of the dormant Constellation of the Eclipse.

Bruce becomes Batman, holder of the most powerful constellation in Gotham, with Dick's Robin at his side. But the fragment of the Bat constellation is too powerful and unstable, threatening his life as Bruce's crystal core grows inside his heart. Him, Kate and Barbara work together to stabilize the crystal, which works, but in the process of its extraction it shatters in four, one part in Bruce's chest, one part that they protect in a glass case, and one part in Kate's and Barbara's chests.

Dormant fragments tend to awaken in situations of crisis or great changes in somebody's life. This is how Dick's Bird fragment awakens as he fights with Bruce over firing him and taking in a new kid without telling him. Because Dick can't take the strain of two star fragments, he gives it to Jason after spending a day getting to know eachother and bonding as brothers, and the start of Nightwing and Robin.

After Barbara is shot and paralyzed, the fragments of the Whispering Woman awaken and keep her alive long enough to get to the hospital, but the cohabitation with her bat fragment endangers hers, so she eventually gives it to Bruce's newly adopted daughter Cassandra.

When Jason dies, they extract the Robin fragment from his heart because an awoken fragment in a dead body is a recipe for a big explosion. Tim fuses with the Robin fragment in the Batcave in order to save Batman's life. Steph has a turn with the Robin fragment when Tim has to retire because of his dad, until she is kidnapped by Black Mask and her closed fist constellation awakens, enabling her escape with an awesome burst of power but endangering her, leading to Tim reabsorbing the fragment.

Jason's wolf constellation awakens while he's in the coffin, and the strength of this magical disturbance brings him back to life, though it's unfortunately not enough to heal his brain damage.

Damian is a special case, a child born of someone with a crystal core (since Bruce was already a magical girl when at his conception). Because of this, he has a natural crystal core which is compatible with the reception of another fragment, so when the Robin fragment grows uncontrollably in a bid to make up for Bruce's absence, Damian absorbs part of it and his powers become a hybrid of the Robin and the Bat's, and he inherits Robin while Tim becomes Red Robin.

Duke, similar to Damian, inherits his powers from Ellen, and they begin to manifest as he finds himself in foster care and joing a gang of Robin fan children, leading to being eventually taken in by Bruce.

All of them have magical girl transformation sequences complete with glitter, diamonds and classic magical girl anime costumes.

[flwrkid14]

Batfam Goes to See Hamilton (Thanks to Jason Todd)

note: based on the fact that i saw hamilton on broadway today!

So, Jason somehow managed to drag the entire Batfam to see Hamilton—because yes, Red Hood is a theater nerd, and apparently, none of them can say no when he’s excited about something. Here’s how it went down:

Jason Todd: Living for it. Jason knows all the lyrics by heart and is practically singing under his breath the whole time. He’s vibing hard to every song, mouthing along to My Shot like he’s in the show. You’d think he was a one-man standing ovation from the way he keeps reacting to every scene. He also goes full nerd mode explaining all the historical inaccuracies and why they don’t matter because the storytelling is incredible.

Bruce Wayne: Very confused, but engaged. He’s trying to get into it, but you can see the gears turning in his head, over-analyzing every political angle and historical context. He does appreciate the themes of legacy, sacrifice, and honor (classic Bruce). He might’ve even shed a few tears during It’s Quiet Uptown, but he’ll deny it forever.

Dick Grayson: Having the time of his life. Dick is the one clapping the loudest, laughing at all the jokes, and crying during the emotional songs. He’s completely caught up in the performance, and by the time The Room Where It Happens comes on, he’s all but bouncing in his seat. He also loves the choreography and probably made a mental note to learn the dances later.

Tim Drake: Secretly loving it but pretending to be indifferent. Tim walked in like he was only going to humor Jason, but by the end of Act 1, he’s fully invested. He tries to keep a straight face, but you can catch him mouthing the words to Wait for It and tapping his fingers during The Room Where It Happens. He’s obsessed with the way the show mixes history, strategy, and storytelling, and he’s definitely taking mental notes on things to google later for a deep dive into historical rabbit holes. After the show, he’s already re-watching bootleg clips on YouTube, but if anyone asks, he’ll just say, “It was fine.”

Damian Wayne: Not impressed. Damian doesn’t see the appeal. He’s sitting there with his arms crossed, giving side-eye to everyone clapping or singing along. “I could’ve done better,” he mutters after Guns and Ships, but you catch him tapping his foot during Yorktown, and he seems unusually focused during the duel scenes. Maybe it’s growing on him… but he’ll never admit it.

Stephanie Brown: Living her best life. Steph is totally into it. She’s laughing at all the jokes, especially King George’s bits, and probably even got Bruce to crack a smile. She’s belting out Helpless and Satisfied in her seat and whispering excitedly to Cass about how they should come back for the next performance. She’s already planning a Hamilton-themed karaoke night after.

Cassandra Cain: Loving the energy. Cass isn’t much for words, but she’s totally feeling the performance. The choreography and intensity of the actors keep her fully engaged. She’s watching every movement with laser focus, and you can see her appreciating the way the actors tell the story through body language. She’s not super vocal about it, but afterward, she signs to Jason that it was “powerful.”

Duke Thomas: Totally into the music. Duke is all about the beats and rhythm. He’s vibing in his seat, really feeling the music and lyrics. You catch him nodding along during Wait for It and The Room Where It Happens, and he’s probably already added the soundtrack to his Spotify. He’s impressed by the storytelling through music and keeps shooting Jason looks like, “Okay, you were right—this is awesome.”

At the end of the show, Jason’s the first to stand up, clapping like his life depends on it, and despite the varied reactions, everyone else follows suit.

[incorrectbatfam]

The batkids mess up in their mission and now they want Damian to accept the blame for them (Damian is the youngest of them all, Bruce will never get too angry when is the youngest apologizing) how the batkids bribe Damian?

Steph: Heeey Dami, I might've done an oopsie on that Croc case. Do you mind taking the heat for me so I don't get benched again?

Damian: No.

Steph: Oh well. Guess I'll have to eat all these vegan waffles by myself.

Damian: Never mind, I reconsidered.

———————

Duke: 'Sup.

Damian: What do you want?

Duke: Just someone to go to the arcade with tomorrow. I heard they have a Cheese Viking VR simulator.

Damian: I believe my schedule is open.

Duke: That's awesome! Too bad Bruce might make me clean the basement tomorrow after that botched stakeout.

Damian: I will take care of Father. You just make sure we are first in line when the arcade opens.

———————

Tim: I messed up the Riddler mission.

Damian, on his phone: How unfortunate.

Tim: Can you take the blame? I don't wanna miss Kon's birthday on Saturday.

Damian: You know my rate.

Tim: *grumbles and writes a check*

———————

Cass: Take my case?

Damian: I thought you already caught the suspect.

Cass: Wrong person.

Damian: What will you do for me?

Cass: Clean litterbox.

Damian: Deal.

———————

Dick: Hey, Lil' D, can you do me a favor and gently let Bruce know that Two-Face skipped town before I could get to him?

Damian: Your Rogue, your problem.

Dick, pulling out a kitten from behind his back: Okay then, I guess I'll take Mr. Fluffykins back to that cold shelter.

Damian: Hand me that creature this instant and I will talk to Father for you.

———————

Barbara: I need you to distract Bruce while I recover some files I accidentally lost.

Damian: *holds out his hand*

Barbara: *sighs and hands him a sketch pencil set*

———————

Jason: I need you to convince Bruce that the explosion at Port Adams was not my fault.

Damian: Absolutely not.

Jason: I knew you'd say that, which is why I came prepared.

Jason: *reveals a bunch of knives under his jacket*

Jason: Take your pick.

———————

Bruce: Wrong, wrong, wrong. Everything is all wrong and I want answers NOW.

Steph: *nudges Damian forward*

Bruce: Damian? Would you like to say something?

Damian: *glances back at his siblings before looking at Bruce*

Bruce, crouching down: Son, whatever you tell me, you know I'll always love you, right?

Damian: Brown's waffle mix was expired, Thomas lied about the Cheese Viking simulator, Drake's check bounced, Cain used the wrong litter brand, the kitten Grayson got was someone else's lost pet, Gordon's pencils were counterfeits from eBay, Todd's knives were plastic, and everyone failed their missions this week.

The batkids: *collective groan*

[sticky-dylan]

Happy birthday to Duke Thomas, you deserve an ongoing solo series if DC ever decides to be awesome