#dude no wonder i felt like shit
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OH MY GOD I'VE HAD ASTHMA THIS WHOLE TIME??
#tw caps#tw all caps#bro wtf#i just used an inhaler for the first time and im SHOOK#i can breathe?#i wasnt breathing before?!?#dude no wonder i felt like shit#this also explains that very exasperated doctor who did my lung function test lol#he wasnt qualified to diagnose me with anything though so i never got a diagnosis#this explains so much though#like all the times that i just suddenly couldnt breathe and no one believed me and they all said it was anxiety
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its been so long since human content/new content with no book relevancy even the youtubers and theorists like dawko and john are getting restless😭
#dawko going its not gonna happen steel wool right over glamfred and rhe humans not coming back#and john going 'im... totally okay with that happening 😐' about mimics story being spoiled in the books 2 years before sotm#like dude even theyre feeling it#dawko would love a fnaf game about absolutely nothing so his excitment about sotm makes sense#but its refreshing seeing john actually criticize it bc it deserves to be even if it was really tame and not really explicitly said#we understand and its just. so nice seeing someone like john actually aware of how stupid it id#instead of everyone being okay with it and not criticizing it for some reason#even tho it kind of sucks#like john is one of the last surviving theorists and a big figure in the community#seeing him actually not shy away from at least implying he thinks its bad and dumb in a video is just.#soo refreshing#like so many times i felt like i was insane for disliking all the mimic theories before ruin came out#i thought it was boring. mimic is a book villain#its so sad seeing john try to actually theorize about mimic in an interesting way with a satisfuing narrative that isnt just c&p#but it just turns out that actually yeah. its game is a rerun of its book lore that came out years ago#and we spent three entire years foreshadowing and teasing 'carnival' in games to hype this game up and its just c&p book lore nothing new#except the new shit being like. stuff about OG freddys and og characters which. are not explaining the mimics backstory#its just like whyy did they do it like this. and they shafted basically every single thing else to do it for years#no wonder dawko is starting to actually joke about them never bringing them back and john is implying his distaste#pandas.txt#discourse#sorryyyyy#its just like i think about sotm and im like i dont need to be that hard on it. theres nothing inherently wrong with a game explaining#mimics backstory#and then i remember how it was spoiled 2 years earlier in the books and everybody already knows its story and theres nothing#new about the mimic in this game save for a random new form#and im like yeah nevermind its okay to be critical about it they somehow handled the mimics story in the worst way possible#up to this point#like if youre a fan of literally anything else in the story youll resent mimic at least a little bit for how much it hijacked everything#even all mimic fans are getting are reruns of shit they already know
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#am really starting to wonder if women are even capable of experiencing friendship?#i can think of two totally platonic male friends in my life that i would consider myself “cosmically intertwined” with#like honestly i'd almost say the love i feel for those two men is deeper than any love i have ever felt for any girl#and i think it will remain that way until i find my wife#like....those are my bros#they're my brothers in a very real sense#i guess i'm realizing that this shit is a huge pet peeve for me#i think male friendship is a beautiful and sacred thing#and i think it's legitimately fucked how women just dismiss it#and there are so few good representations of it in popular media#we've got what....frodo and sam and achilles and patroclus?#but of course both of those are actually secretly gay too#and i'm being a bit facetious#like i'm sure women have friends#but then why do you have to dismiss/sexualize male friendships?#and like yeah yeah it's just a joke/it's not that deep/let people ship things/etc#sure whatever it's not even necessarily about this particular post#this is about a broader attitude -- one i mostly find in women -- and i know these people act like this about irl male friendships too#i've had it happen to me and a friend irl#and it's one thing if it's just a “ship” but i know many of these people insist that their “ship” is actually true/reality#it feels perverse when a group of girls are not-so-secretly spreading a rumor that you and your friend are gay for each other#and i'm a bisexual dude so i don't even have anything against gay sex#and i also have had fwbs so i don't think friendship necessarily precludes the possibility of sex#but when it is just a genuinely purely platonic friendship with no sex/romance#but people insist it is sexual/romantic it feels especially wrong and vile -- and it starts negatively affecting the friendship itself#like honestly that's what happened between me and him and by the time he shipped off to boot camp we were already barely talking#because he was made to feel weird about the closeness of our friendship by stupid girls spreading rumors#so yeah i guess i'm bitter about it
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"this wulf fellow has choice language"
#artluli#tf2#i dont really like how this turned out its really bad#added shading to try and make it better but it looks worse but i guess ill post it anyway i suppose#if youre wondering why im sweating its because im terrified of playing online multiplayer games#that might sound weirdly specific but dude it gives me so so so much anxiety#ive been wanting to play more but i cant bring myself to do it because im too scared#“scared of what skaluli” the people and how well i perform#i would rather play a horror game because that shit doesnt scare me as much as fearing judgement of the people i play with because im shit#i know i shouldnt care what other people think and should just try and have fun but god this shit is scary#before anyone says anything i turned off voice chat straight away when i downloaded it thank god thats an option#but even without hearing their voices i feel like i can still hear their thoughts and judgement and anger#it took hours of trying to convince myself and then someone else telling me ill be okay just to play the game for a little bit#and when i got to leave i felt like i was having a fucking anxiety attack#anyway i really like this game but im way too scared to play it! which is fucking stupid that thats even a reason
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pro: ran into a coworker at a bar last night who I don’t really talk to usually (he works upstairs, I work downstairs) and we talked and im pretty sure we were highkey flirting and he bought me a drink and the bar merch shirt i was interested in and thanks to the power of alcohol i guess i asked for his number and he gladly gave it to me and. yeah
con: i have the second worst hangover i have ever had and have been fighting for my fucking life just to eat saltines
#it’s getting better but only now that it’s like. 6pm#as weird as it sounds part of why this sucks is that I volunteered to come into work today cause there’s a concert going on nearby which#usually means we’re at least somewhat busy -> make better tips#and I couldn’t go in because well. you know#I’ve been sick and dying in bed all day unable to move or eat or anything#let alone take the bus and go to work#but. as much as I wish I didn’t go this overboard I don’t totally regret last night cause.#yeah. potential thing going on with cute coworker guy. OH and potential job opportunity at my favorite bar in town#apparently said coworker Also has a job at the bar in addition to where we both work and the bar is hiring barbacks at entry-level#so I have someone to vouch for me and the bartender we were talking to seemed to really want me to apply too#one thing that’s kinda funny to me about all this is that the first two places (a bar then a club) we were at felt really mid because they#were packed with way too many straight people (at a gay bar and a gay club)#but the bar we ended up at (where we ALWAYS end up at. it is the oasis. it is the only thing I can rely on) felt. like. not overwhelmingly#straight? at all? I mean part of it’s just luck in a way with just who happened to be there and all that but it’s also that the staff seem#pretty significantly populated with queer ppl#I complained to the bartender about how the club we were at (one of the biggest gay clubs in the city- if not The biggest) just felt kinda#meh because yeah maybe there were some guys dancing in jockstraps and whatever but the crowd itself like. did not feel largely queer#or at least didn’t have the spirit I’d hope for in a queer space if that makes sense. felt very conventional. not enough wild outfits and#makeup and gender fuckery and so on#and the bartender was like dude I KNOW right? I went off outside there once about the invasion of cishets when this space isn’t FOR them#and so on and so forth. and god that was So real.#so the experience at my beloved bar last night was like. 1) guy comes up behind me just to order a drink but i was saving a seat for my#friend who was in the bathroom and mentioned that in case he was looking to take the seat. chatted a little. ended with him pointing out#that a guy nearby was trying to holla at me.#2) I look over and yes. the dj is. in fact. looking directly at me and mouthing the lyrics to whatever song was playing pointed my way.#it was pretty sweet honestly I think it was partly cause I looked like I was shy and alone#3) whatever gay shit was going on with my coworker and i. amusingly he seems to get more flamboyant when he drinks just like i do.#im not 100% sure what his sexuality is but i Am 100% sure it is Not straight. but yeah. if it hadn’t been so close to closing time ive been#hardcore wondering where that would’ve gone. maybe its for the best that i had to go when i did cause i was pretty drunk and who knows when#I could’ve hit the amount of drunk it takes to like outright say hey just so you know i’d suck your dick right now if you wanted
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Bro why not make the whimpering yourself? You’ve gathered a handful of simps who share the same want ! And you are an artist so you can practically create whatever you want, yeah?
no time :[
like i have a lot of suggestive and borderline nsfw art i have thought of in regards 2 him but i just. have no time 2 sit down and actually draw it
#spacie splains#ugghhhh#this post is kinda nsft#so yeah#nsft#i mean im just mentioning it but yk#everyone knows i want 2 fucvk him its not even like.#anyways#also if i drew it myself i think id hate it lmaooooo#going thru a bit of an insecure spot artwise#which being unable 2 draw for weeks on end is not helping lmao#b/c i usually just keep drawing till i feel better#the last time i drew something was#checks my watch#ONE MONTH AGO!??!?!?!?#UGOUOGUOHOUHOUOUOUOGH#HELP MEEEE FUCK DUDE#THIS SUCKS BALLS#DRAWING HELPS ME EMOTIONALLY REGULATE NO WONDER IVE FELT LIKE SUC H SHIT LATELY
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Ohhh so the SIU Director knows bout the metaverse? Off with his head, I don't like him. Was he talking to the skill issue guy? I'm sorry I don't know anything bout that guy other than the fact that he tripped after a light shove and blamed it on a highschooler, asshole. He has that politician air to him so I guess???? He's the future prime minister??? Off with his head too.
#aria rants#i felt my blood boil when that siu director said to blame the mental shutdowns on the phantom thieves#i was like whoa there... getting angry on that asshole aint worth it. time to keep going with the story to see his downfall#its what fuels me. i want to see the downfall of the principal. that siu director. and that skill issue dude wtv his name is#i have beef with that dude especially. i may not know his name now but i hate him with all my being alrdy#smth bout that guy just REALLY enrages me. he has negative everything. negative rizz and negative personality#maidenless behaviour typa shit bruh. no wonder no one wants his ass. only the gutter wanted him
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If I'm gonna compare how I'm doing with the atonals, might as well do it properly and use the same song lol
#video#vs yomiel#might stick to the new-ish one#mostly bc it doesnt sound so silly to me KANSFAKLS it just sounds like a more natural voice(?)#also he has like. a few more phonemes!! hopefully it can be Felt when he sings. or something ⚙💭#if you wonder why tf he sounds so different if they are the same sounds. ahem 👑🤓☝ (<- about to ramble about shit she doesnt understand)#for the Oldish atonals i used a config closer to what Pico's voice sounds like#and tbh for pico it Just Works bc his voice is deep enough to contrast the high frequency used#whereas for the Newish atonals i used a config closer to Darnell's voice#obviously not fully the same bc i didnt want my guy to sound THAT deep. like holy cog respect#bc darnell sounds awesome but only he can pull it off tbh. my dude simply isnt that powerful press F#curious if his voice provider is just Built Like That or they compressed him to hell and back (idk what im saying)#im. still not 100% sure how these work tbh. making atonals are more work than i thought!!#but im happy with the result so far ∋( :] i hope y'all like him too
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why is will wood so good at writing music
#marzi speaks#if u want music that can cleverly reference a bunch of shit Listen To Will Wood#he will use wordplay to reference 3 highly specific real-world things in one line#and it will STILL have a double-meaning. HELLO#his songs r so fun to dissect. love it#when i first listened to main character i heard the ‘where do you get off’ and got so excited#i was like ‘:000 WHITE KNUCKLE JERK HOLY SHIT !!!!’#why is he sooo fucking good at referencing shit. including his own shit#i read the lyrics to black box warrior for the first time and lost my mind. filled to the BRIM with allusions#AND it’s incredibly satisfying to listen to be it shouty or somber#plus super fun to learn to sing along to bc his songs are structured to be phonetically and rhythmically unique#so when you get a bit that feels like a tongue twister there’s like a rush of adrenaline#when i first got the fucking ‘an amicable animal mild-mannered cannibal’ in 2nd 2ight 2eer i felt like a god#one day i’ll master the spoken work in black box warrior#spoken word* whoops#anywho. good fucking music dude. changed my brain chemistry#i do wonder why he starts willard! with the miracle musical motif tho. it throws me off every time
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Love atheist communities that hate Christianity but reproduce every single issue Christianity has right down to the racism, wild misogyny, and of all fuckin things evangelizing atheism by sending religious people rude ass 'gotcha' type reactionary content to like idk, recruit people to atheism the way Certian Brands of Christian recruit literally anyone to their religion.
Like yes this atheism is what I see a lot of white men participating in, but like how dense do you have to be to only ditch the GOD part of religion and nothing else while claiming you're intellectually superior to religious folks like a great many incredibly talented and smart people in various sciences weren't religious?
#winters ramblings#its so funny that the so called 'skeptic' communities on youtube and reddit claimed ti be SOOOOO skeptical of things#but never took a fuckin second to check their misogyny or racism and badically applied shite christian values to everything they do#but think they arent doing that because they openly denounce god. like bestie youre doing ALL the same shit i have a problem with#in teligious spaces except you have the balls to claim youre inherently smarter and more intellectual#which is why youre SO SMART you cant figure out how to be a halfway decent human being#like its so funny when i see athiests like this around where it feels like religion is the only thing they felt held them back#and not in the ways PoC queer people and women deal with- THEIR athiesm is usually rooted in#'christians told me i was black because i have the curse of ham and thats fucking racist as shit' or some other discrimination event#plus your average religious truama and in my case just a lack of desire to participate in religion and also no belief in it#but then you have white dudes whove never had a real problem in their life doing all the same shit as them Nasty Christians they rail on#without a H I N T of the irony while also wondering why it is that their spaces seem so... homogeneous lmao#almost like women PoC and queer people know all you did was reject the GOD bit not any of the underlying discrimination tendencies#no need for them to unpack that i guess because theyre Very Smart Skeptics they dont seem to think#that they believe just as much dumb shit as any religious or non religious folks out there except theyre insufferable about it#also the nonsense of science being inherently opposed to religion like tell me you know nothing about the history of science#without saying you have NO IDEA what youre talking about. so much science was trying to understand gods creations#science and god arent diametrically opposed to each other and in fact went hand in hand for a long time#not as much any more but ill bet a huge number of scientists are still religious because being smart#doesnt mean youre an athiest like HELLO youre not smarter than anyone for not believing in god#the same way you arent smarter or better FOR believing in god lmao
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hi . i (mostly) finished the game. if u couldnt tell
#hhhhhhhnhngnn octopath 2. oh my god. dude#currently im just at the point where im trying to figure out how to beat the shit out of several familiar faces . both friend and foe#otherwise i have done quite literally everything i think 👍#this hyperfixation came back so fucking intense i stayed up Way past 24 hours knce and legit felt fine .#ive never felt that awake for that long in my life what the hell was that#anyway i have like. an ask someone sent that im using as an excuse to ramble abt the characters and story n stuff but#im still gonna talk abt stuff here bc hhhhholy fuck.#also gonna try to be vague but there may be spoilers regardless past this point . Anyway#i cant fucking believe . my favorite characters that i chose from The Day 1 of the games existence. far before i could ever play it#were like. some of The most plot relevant . and also work together perfectly#both w abilities that help during night fights.. the only ones w a non flashback cutscene during the dawn chapter.. the mirror..#their dynamic as a duo is so good too#the detective n his assistant.. the thief w a heart of gold n the morally dubious cleric.. light n dark magic users..#also very much love how well they bounce off each other n support each other#in their own ways#thinking abt the lost and the wool travel banters forever .#i swear i love more of this game than just them all of the travelers are genuinely wonderful im just rotating them in my mind rn#octotag
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I need to get better at touching my hair, this is so dumb but I've started braiding before I go to bed and its so much easier in the morning
#I refused to touch my hair bc I felt like I would grease it up#got my wavy/curly hair from my dad and dude does not take care of it#my shit was frizzy 24/7 yknow how many times Id get accused of not brushing despite literally brushing it#swapping to a comb changed me#thank you Farida you are an angel sent from Colombia#when I was a kid I looked like shirley temple#tho now it gets kinda flat at top#I do wonder if I bothered and curled it from the top what difference it would make
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hey are you fuckigng kidding me right now
#oh my god so this detatched disconnected severed feeling has a name#this is a bitch slap in the face dude#my friend and i went to a goth bar show in the early summer & i had a blast but when we left he said he thought i hated it#bc i had this blank face the entire time#but i was like no??? dude i felt alive in there???? whatre you on about????#also the various times i’ve been described as cold for not reacting outwardly to certain situations. like#and the way a lot of situations i cannot connect to unless im in an Elevated State#NO WONDER my old therapist kept pushing me to get a reevaluation for schizoaffective#holy fuckigng shit
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i want a parent to comfort me and tell me everything is going to be alright. I want to feel like a child. Not always. Just. For a moment.
#i pushed my mom to go have a convo w a lawyer#it was good tho i wonder if the dudes felt like i wasted their time#were in no position to pay for a lawyer right now#i wish my mom acted more like an adult#so i wouldn't have to#im only 19#i shouldn't be responsible for this shit#and i feel so alone#i don't imagine ill ever feel like a child again
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pairing: frat!rafe x tutor!reader synopsis: reader attends a frat party where the theme is to dress up as your type warnings: fluff! wc: 1.3k i got this idea from the wonderful @rafeyscurtainbangs and it had me dead because it's so funny and i can picture him wearing that… i also tried out a new kinda formatting for funsies ^_^ also i'm surprised i’ve never posted for frat!rafe? anyway first fic for 2025!
you'd never really been much into parties, your best friend constantly trying to get you to go to some of the various parties the social butterfly had gotten invited to, but you simply held up the book you were in the middle of and let out a soft hum as a way to say that you had your own plans. after some more pleading, lexi always gave up trying to convince you to come and left you in your own devices, returning in the early hours of the morning, trying to be as quiet as possible yet waking you up every time.
but this time, all the girl had to do was mention the frat party she was going to that night when you let out a sigh and told her you'd come with her. maybe there was a second reason you wanted to go, other than to just please your friend.
"we're having a party this friday."
you chuckled, turning your gaze from the book in front of you to the boy next to you, "you're in a fraternity, rafe. i'm pretty sure that happens every friday without exception."
your words caused the boy to roll his eyes, yet the small grin you'd grown to like still remained on his lips as he repositioned his backwards cap, "yeah, but it's a themed party. you should come."
"why?" you furrowed your brows in suspicion and confusion as to why he'd want you to attend, "what's the theme?"
"you're supposed to dress up as your type."
"and what are you going as? some kind of variation of jennifer from jennifer's body? or regina from mean girls?" you let out a small snort.
"guess you'll have to come if you wanna find out." the boy poked your forearm with the rubber end of his pencil, licking his lips, "i wanna see what kind of guys you are into. i bet it's some thrifty hipster dudes or some broody bad boys that secretly get hard for poetry and emily dickinson and shit."
you felt your cheeks warm from the memory as you placed the backwards cap on your head. you looked in the mirror, clad in loose jeans that hung low on your hips so it'd show off the calvin klein logo on your underwear, and a sweatshirt adorning the logo of your university. the outfit you wore looked just like something rafe would wear during one of your tutoring sessions. hell, he probably had.
lexi looked at you with raised brows, the muscular girl who usually wore dark, baggy clothes looked strange in the blue sundress she'd borrowed from you, her biceps basically protruding from the short sleeves, the girl's short black hair pulled up into a tiny attempt at a ponytail, wearing some simple makeup that you'd helped her apply.
"you're going as a frat guy? to a frat party?" she snorted, taking in your ensemble, "damn, you date so little that i had no idea that's the type of guy you were into."
you rolled your eyes, throwing her the handbag that she'd asked you if she could borrow, "and you're going as...?"
"a straight girl." lexi said, her usual shit-eating grin taking over her lips.
"in that case, you could've just worn like, a grey hoodie, those flared leggings, and a pair of white nike air force ones. most straight girls here do. i think you've failed at your assignment."
"shut up."
you were surprised by how many people actually dressed up according to the theme, especially over the number of frat boys wearing different types of skirts and dresses, some of them even sporting poorly done makeup looks on their faces.
having gotten separated from lexi almost the moment you arrived to the party, you were now leaning against the living room wall, hiding a part of your face behind a red solo cup half-full of some sort of concoction you'd found as you looked around. you'd always been better at standing aside, observing what everyone else was doing, rather than trying to join in.
you lifted the cup to your mouth and drank some of the nasty liquid, nearly spitting it out when you spot rafe chatting to his friends, just about managing to swallow it before you keel in laughter.
he stood confidently in a grey cardigan strewn over a white button-up that was so small on him it actually turned into a crop top, showing off the lower part of his abs, a faint happy trail as well as a defined v-line leading to a short black pleated skirt, his calves covered by black socks that ended just below his knees.
it seemed that your amusement had caught rafe's attention, as the moment you'd finally managed to straighten yourself up, the boy was strutting over to you, his hands on his hips in a way that almost caused you to go into another laughing fit.
"what's so funny?" rafe asked with lifted brows as he reached you, looking over your outfit with a pleased look on his face before gesturing to his own, "you don't think i look hot?"
"oh, definitely. the hottest." you snorted, bringing the drink to your lips and taking a small sip before pursing your lips in thought, "so, what's your type? britney spears?"
the boy's brows furrowed at that, "huh?"
"you look just like her in one of her music videos." you explained, your lips falling open in shock as his eyebrows continued to remain furrowed, "you don't know 'baby one more time'?"
"i haven't seen it." rafe shrugged, "what, you can't recognize who i'm trying to dress as?"
"i can't say i do. who?"
"i'm dressed as you."
you knew that if you were able to see yourself, your eyes would comically widen the moment the words left rafe's lips; and as you looked at him up and down, you realized, that his outfit was something you'd usually wear; just more lewd. "you're... dressed as me?"
"yeah. and clearly you're dressed as me."
"based- based on what?" you laughed incredulously, feeling your cheeks light up, bringing the cup to your lips and drinking just so you'd be able to hide a part of your face from the boy.
"well," rafe snatched the cap on your head, placing it on his instead, making his entire ensemble look even goofier, as he took hold of the front of your sweatshirt. "i'm pretty sure i've worn this exact same outfit."
"that doesn't mean anything… plenty of guys wear this." you mumbled from behind your cup, only to have rafe grab it from your hands, your eyes widening as you watched him finish it in one swallow, scrunching up the cup and throwing it on the floor somewhere.
cupping your chin with his finger and lifting it up so you were looking up at him, rafe brought his face closer to yours, his ice-blue eyes looking into yours in a way that made you feel like you were naked as his lips twisted into a knowing grin, "it doesn't?"
"n-"
before you could finish denying it, rafe's lips were pressed against yours; your eyes still wide open when his free hand slid to your waist, pulling you closer to him.
slowly, you felt yourself melt into the kiss, your eyes automatically closing as your lips moved against his. your hands were pressed against his chest, slowly moving down to feel his defined abs over the sheer button-up.
you could feel rafe's grin against your lips before he even pulled away, looking down at you with a knowing look on his face, the boy licking his lips causing you to bite down on your lower lip, your head spinning from just kissing him.
"so, that didn't mean anything, huh?"
#frat!rafe#rafe cameron#outer banks#rafe cameron x reader#drew starkey#outer banks fanfiction#rafe fanfiction#rafe x reader#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe x you#rafe fic#rafe obx#outer banks fic#outer banks rafe#rafe fluff#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x you
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Steve Harrington had known for a while that he was on thin ice. His parents let him change his hair and clothes and name after a harrowing night that ended with him in a hospital bed.
So he tried to behave. They couldn’t complain as long as he played the perfect son. He did everything right. He excelled at sports, he didn’t make a fuss, he even fell in love with a wonderful girl.
Though, things got a little rocky when his dealer left town and handed things over to the local freak show. When he went to pick up his bottles, Loudmouth Munson tried to get under his skin.
“Y’know I always had a feeling you were doping.” Munson said, leaning against the picnic table.
“Would you just hand it over?” Steve held out his hand for the containers Munson was keeping hostage.
“This is a lot, Harrington, you’d think Hawkins would have actually won a championship by now with you on this stuff.”
Steve resisted the urge to rip it from his hands. Munson grinned an insufferable smile, like he enjoyed how much Steve was glaring at him.
“I’m not taking it because of basketball,” Steve said.
“So why then?”
“I don’t have to tell you shit.”
“Dude,” Munson raised his hands in a placating gesture. “Relax, I’m just messing with you. Call it fair play. Didn’t think you’d be so sensitive about it.”
Steve’s hands were still itching to grab it. Munson seemed to notice how antsy he was, following his anxious gaze flickering between the package and Munson’s face.
“Don’t ya trust me, Harrington?” He said.
“Not even a little,” Steve replied. He felt a tendon jump in his jaw.
“Can’t handle the thought of not having your steroids? Some people actually need these hormones to survive, rich boy.” Munson’s tone switched from teasing to something more somber, or maybe bitter. It was hard for him to tell those things.
Under normal circumstances he would have never said what he ended up saying. Munson had a way of pushing his buttons.
“I need them.” Steve watched an ant crawl around a knot in the wood in front of him. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand. Nobody in this town would understand.”
Steve looked up at a shocked Eddie Munson and held out a handful of bills. “Give me my drugs, take your money, and don’t tell fucking anybody about this. You got it?”
Eddie didn’t move for a long moment, carefully studying Steve and his outstretched hand. His rings flashed as he pushed the package over to Steve’s side of the table and grabbed the money in one swift movement.
“‘Course, Harrington. You get dealer-dealee confidentiality just like everybody else.”
Steve was glad the transaction was over. He grabbed his hormones and stood up to leave when Eddie’s voice stopped him in his tracks.
“You’re not the only one.”
Eddie looked very serious, dark curls brushing the tops of his furrowed brows. It was a good look on him.
Steve felt his hopes rise. There were others like him in town. But, how could he be sure that Eddie was talking about what he thought he was talking about?
“Munson,” Steve said cautiously, “I don’t think we’re on the same page.”
Eddie, still seated, crossed his arms. “I guess there’s no way to know for sure unless one of us says it plainly, and I’m sure as hell not going to. I don’t want to end up on the news.”
“You don’t trust me?” Steve echoed, quirking up the side of his mouth.
It got a small smile from Munson. “You don’t even know who it is; dealer-dealee confidentiality goes both ways. I can’t go around blabbing about what drugs everybody’s on, I’d alienate my customer base.”
“Then I guess we’re at a standstill.”
Eddie looked at him with a curious expression. “I guess so.”
Steve took a few steps away from the table, leaves crunching under feet, before turning around. He hesitated. Eddie looked at him with those dark brown eyes of his, which didn’t help his resolve.
“Eddie,” the man’s eyebrows raised at the use of his first name. Steve continued, “if you ever feel like blabbing, you know where to find me.”
Eddie stayed quiet for once, the sounds of the woods surrounding the two of them as they lingered.
“Same to you, Steve,” He finally replied.
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