#my friend and i went to a goth bar show in the early summer & i had a blast but when we left he said he thought i hated it

[devotioncrater]

hey are you fuckigng kidding me right now

[wintersxsoul]

We Are Stardust (5)

Summary: Your favorite place on New York is a small coffee shop, what happens when one day you bump into a mysterious goth god and he keeps coming just to see you?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader

Word Count: 1872

Warnings: slight sexual content

A/N: Lots of fluff and angst. Oops.

Normally, you went to the coffee shop to work, but today you needed the tranquility of your room. All the girls were working, so you had the apartment for yourself, and that meant a bubble bath with classical music and facial masks. The lavender scent filled the bathroom, calming your nerves for today’s date. 

You texted Bucky as soon as you had your breakfast to tell him how excited you were, but he didn’t answer, probably because he was at work. 

You were writing, humming a song you’ve heard on the radio, when Bucky’s notification tone popped. Yes, he had a special tone. You took your phone as fast as you could and unlocked the screen.

Goth God: Don’t have lunch, we’ll have an early dinner. Can’t wait to see you in only...omg, one hour!!

To say you were nervous was an understatement, the fact that he kept everything a mystery was killing you. You hopped off your bed and rushed to the closet, pulling the doors so hard you thought you were gonna rip them off. You chose your checked trousers, with a mustard turtleneck sweater and your black high top converse. You did a half-up bun and applied some mascara. Before you could even realize, you were waiting for Bucky to pick you up.After driving for 15 minutes, Bucky stopped in front of a huge building in the upper east side, in Manhattan. You looked at him, astonished, and someone approached the car. Bucky rolled down the window and spoke to the boy.

“Hello sir, which apartment is yours?” The boy seemed nervous, you thought that it could be his first day working. Whatever his job was. Bucky searched for a paper in his wallet and showed it to the boy, who nodded and stepped aside.

“This is our stop, doll.” He looked at you and smiled, easing your nerves a bit. He hopped off the car and gave the keys to the boy, and before you could open your door, he opened it for you. Wow, what a gentleman. You stepped out of the car and took his hand in yours, letting him lead the way. Once you were in the luxurious lobby, he went straight to the elevator.

“Bucky do you live here?” The place was marvelous, floors and columns made of white and grey marble, as the reception desk. It was decorated with plants of all kinds, the green contrasting with the white. 

“No, my best friend Steve and his boyfriend Sam live here. They own the penthouse.” He cleared his throat, and took a strand of hair out of your face. You looked at him with your Bambi eyes and he swore he saw galaxies in them.

“Are we going on a double date?” You asked him, confused. He smiled and shook his head, entering the elevator. Ugh, no kissing scene in the elevator, please. Such a cliché.

“No, they are travelling Europe, right now they are in Romania.” He pushed the penthouse button, it was going to be a long way up. “Steve lend me the keys and I asked him if I could bring you here today.” He gave your hand a little squeeze, he could feel your nerves as his own. He bore his eyes into yours.

“You look stunning, Y/n.” You broke eye contact and blushed, but before you could say anything, your phone rang. 

“Fuck, who the fuck is calling?” You rummaged through your bag looking for your phone. This is a joke. 

“Mamá, ¿qué quieres?” (mom, what do you want?). Why the fuck was she calling, if you told her to fucking stop calling. Your mother sighed and told you she just wanted to know how you were.

“Estoy bien.” (I’m fine). You clicked your tongue and let out a loud huff. “Mamá, estoy en una cita y me parece incorrecto estar hablando por teléfono.” (Mom, I’m on a date and I think it’s rude to be on the phone.)

“Vale, hija. Disfruta.” (Okay, daughter. Enjoy.). She hung up before you could say anything else. Bucky was looking at you with a worried expression. He already knew it was your mother.

“You okay?” He asked you, letting go of your hand to give you some personal space.

“Yes, don’t worry. She’s just...so confusing.” You rested your head in his arm, since he was too tall for you to reach his shoulder. The elevator reached the top floor and as the doors opened, you were taken aback by the size of the penthouse.

“Come on doll, there’s a place I gotta show you.” He took your hand and lead you to the terrace, possibly with the best views of all New York. It was a breathtaking sight and you found yourself smiling like an idiot. You let go of Bucky’s hand and reached the glass balustrade, looking at the city you grew so fond of.  

She was the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen. She was swaying her hips to the soft music that the bar was playing. You loved how her long, copper hair moved to another rhythm only she seemed to know. Nat and Wanda dragged you and Marie to the bar with the excuse that summer started. You still remember how her lips felt against yours, how intoxicating the feeling was. That night, and many other nights, she told you she was single. All lies. You could’ve been happy together, but her lies and broken promises buried your love for her.

She told you her relationship was doomed after their second anniversary, she lied to you saying that her partner manipulated her to keep her tied close, but it was all the way round. You read the texts she sent to her “Baby Boo” by accident one day. She was making the other person responsible for her own acts and she even said: “You’re just too damn hard to love”. After that, you knew she was cheating and lying to both of you, so you left her, even though she told you she gained the courage to leave her old relationship behind.

What she left behind were two broken hearts.

Bucky cleared his throat, startling you. You looked behind you to see that he had prepared a table with candles and flowers, food and some white wine. You knew you had a sad expression, but he didn’t push you to say anything, he just thought you were upset because of your mother. You approached his side and hugged him, breathing in his musky scent. He gave your head a small kiss and hugged you back.

After eating the dinner Bucky prepared, you were paying full attention to his rant about Pluto not being a planet, the importance planets and satellites had in humans and about stars. You realized you loved spending time just listening to his sweet voice and contemplating how his eyes lit up when he glanced at the sky while explaining something. You looked at the skyline, the buildings’ windows reflecting the golden light from the sunset, the clouds were turning pink and orange. Bucky was silent, admiring how the golden light hit you, making your skin glow. You were the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. You glanced at Bucky and caught him staring at you, you shot him a shy smile and leaned into his shoulder.

“I haven’t felt this peaceful in a very long time. Thank you so much for this, Bucky.” He was staring at the buildings, and he clenched his jaw at your words. You frowned, worried that maybe you had said something wrong or maybe he didn’t feel the same way. Right before you could say or do something, he held your hand and looked at you, his face mere inches away from yours. 

“Y/n…” He whispered your name, and to you, it sounded like a prayer. You nodded slowly, leaning in, brushing your lips against his. Bucky closed his eyes and sighed, his breath tickling your lips, the scent of wine and him filling all your senses. He pulled away abruptly, his eyes scanning yours. You cupped his face with your hand, caressing his cheek with your thumb. He placed his hand on top of yours and leaned into the touch. 

“Are you real?” He asked you, his voice was almost a whisper, looking at you like you were a miracle. You smiled softly and nodded, whispering him that you were real.

He leaned in once more, your eyes shutting closed at his proximity. His lips were soft against yours, a shiver running down your spine as soon as he placed his hand at the back of your head, pulling you even closer to him. Bucky's heart was pounding, matching your own. You ran your hand through his locks, tugging slightly. He moaned into your mouth, your tongues dancing around each other, both of you determined to deepening the kiss. In a shift movement you were sitting on his lap, his hands resting on your hips to steady you. You moved your leg so now you were straddling him, feeling his arousal on your inner thigh, making you even wetter. You rocked your hips, trying to get some friction, but Bucky pulled away, both of your chests rising and falling heavily.

“We should go.” Bucky said, his voice hoarse. You nodded rapidly, helping him clean the dinner plates and leaving the penthouse. 

Twenty minutes later, you were storming into Bucky’s apartment, your lips crashing together once more, both of you feeling like that’s where you belonged. Bucky pinned you against a wall, lifting your legs and you tangled them on his waist. He pulled away from your lips, leaving wet kisses down your jawline and neck, sucking and biting at the sweet spot on your neck, probably leaving marks. You moaned and tugged at his hair once more, this time harder, making Bucky growl. He moved you to another wall, pushing you so hard against it that a frame fell.

You started laughing and he followed, he lowered you to the ground and you sat on the floor, taking the frame that fell and looking at the group photo.

You felt your blood icing in your veins, your whole body shaking uncontrollably, a lump forming in your throat. This couldn’t be happening.

“Y/n, what’s wrong?” You heard Bucky’s voice, but it was far away from were you where. You shook your head, trying to deny what was going to happen. You cleared your throat and tried to control your voice.

“Bu-Bucky, please tell me Dot is just a friend.” He looked at you confused and shook his head, your whole world trembling at your feet. You ruined Bucky’s relationship, you helped Dot break his heart.

You started sobbing uncontrollably, feeling a strong pain in your chest. You felt how your heart was breaking all over again, for Bucky.

He sat down next to you, pulling you close to his chest, stroking your hair until you calmed.

After ten minutes, the tears were gone, and all that was left was a numbing pain. Bucky waited patiently for you to speak, worried was not the right word to express how he was feeling at that moment.

“Bucky, Dot and I...We…” You gulped. “I’m the reason your relationship ended.”

[theleastcarefulofgamedevs]

hehehehehehehehe ur turn. overshare pals

hehe im lov u ceec :)

---

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

water bottles and soda cans!

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

chocolate.... im lov it

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

cotton candy!

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

hardworking, earnest, and honestly? they gave me too much credit ebagweaganegioawnegew

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

soda bottles!

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

somewhere between boho, goth, and grunge hehe

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphones!

8. movies or tv shows?

movies,,

9. favorite smell in the summer?

you know that wet pavement smell after it rains? love that

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

dodgeball hehehe

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

nothin tbh. i don’t wake up early enough for it

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Writing Music! i made it hehehe

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring!

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

GUMMY BEARS AND JELLY BEANS

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

“A Child Called ‘It’“ by Dave Pelzer

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

cuddled up to someone in blankets,,, im lov anything with my s/o tbh

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

i have this beat up pair of blue slip ons that have bloodstains on em bc i got a nosebleed one day bwaeiugbaweugbaweubguaw

18. ideal weather?

post-raining, or like. just before it starts raining

19. sleeping position?

anything with my s/o or bein wrapped in like. a billion blankets

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

on my home pc in my room!

21. obsession from childhood?

dice and video games!

22. role model?

i know it’s gonna sound dumb but like. a lot of characters from media have influenced me a lot, like sans/komaeda etc. another one from my real life would be my aunt on my mom’s side!

23. strange habits?

i bounce my leg while listening to music or stressed,, that’s abt it. OH and i like twirling a small blanket around on my arm bc... acrobatics of sorts

24. favorite crystal?

amethyst, but anything clean cut and rounded looks rlly nice imo,,

25. first song you remember hearing?

the first day i remember in my life was christmas at my grandma’s when i was 4, so probably random christmas music ubwegebwgwebgoibgweg

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

sometimes when i get tired of sitting around at home i like to walk down to the dog park by my house! 

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

cuddle,,,,,,,,,,, wrap up in a blanket with some freshly baked cookies n just. be there

28. five songs to describe you?

megalovania, medley rush 2 from the sonic rush ost, the promised neverland english op, metal crusher from undertale, metal scratchin’ from sonic rush

29. best way to bond with you?

just talk to me! im godawful at starting convos but i love talkin to ppl! 

30. places that you find sacred?

every person’s room feels that way, as well as obvious places, like churches n whatnot. we went n visited my aunt’s old house so my mom could pick up some stuff and being in her room after she died in 2015 was just like. an emotion i can’t rlly describe

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

hoodie, trackpants, n sneakers hehe

32. top five favorite vines?

back at it again @ krispy kreme, ADAM, they were roommates, two dudes in a hot tub, my croissant

33. most used phrase in your phone?

either “be there soon” or “ily” 

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

none tbh. i don’t watch much tv so i don’t see ads often

35. average time you fall asleep?

either 10:30 or sometime after midnight. no in between 

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

it was a rage comic

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

suitcase!

38. lemonade or tea?

lemonade, but i LOVE tea!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

LEMON CAKE....

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

i was walkin in the halls with my friend and someone dropped a styrofoam cup of pasta on my friend’s head from the second floor awbegiuawbeguiawbguaewg

41. last person you texted?

the person who sent this ask heheheheh

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

jacket pockets!

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

hoodie!

44. favorite scent for soap?

anything really, but i like whatever my s/o uses bc it would remind me of them!

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

fantasy!

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

underwear tbh. like. that and a tshirt or just underwear is the only way i can sleep

47. favorite type of cheese?

sensory issues say i have to hate all kinds of cheese outside of like. grilled cheese so let’s go with that/cheddar

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

dragonfruit! 

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

GOD pretty much every quote from monomi or chiaki in danganronpa 2, but mostly “if you learn to love yourself, that love will continue to carry you for your whole life! love, love...”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

OH HERES A FUCKIN STORY OK so i was at my friend’s house with a bunch of others bc we were doin a sleepover type thing and we were eating raising canes in his attic at like 3 am and some guy high on like. 3 different drugs at once got impaled through the leg on his fence. nobody saw him but we knew he was there and the cops were there in like 3 minutes. that very same friend has some of the most wack stories ngl

51. current stresses?

just doing well in school and making sure my s/o is happy!

52. favorite font?

comic sans.......................... im sorry

53. what is the current state of your hands?

my palms b sweaty but my fingers are dehydrated tbh. typin

54. what did you learn from your first job?

work.... difficult

55. favorite fairy tale?

probably the princess and the frog!

56. favorite tradition?

christmas!

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

probably my most noteworthy traumas tbh. gettin therapy for em, too

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

writing, my ability to overcome obstacles, being able to help ppl as well as i can, and making friends fast!

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“Not dead yet.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Probably either shounen, romance, or moe,,,,

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“It’s a beautiful day outside. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming. On days like these, kids like you... should be burning in hell.”

62. seven characters you relate to?

sans, komaeda, makoto naegi, komaru naegi, toko fukawa, chiaki nanami, and chihiro fujisaki!

63. five songs that would play in your club?

they’d all be fall out boy tbh. that and videogame osts

64. favorite website from your childhood?

armor games hehe

65. any permanent scars?

i don’t think so? at least, not yet

66. favorite flower(s)?

roses and anything blue!

67. good luck charms?

my dice sets!

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

vanilla york peppermint patties... gross

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

pikmin in pikmin 1 who are underneath a bridge when it’s completed are killed because they get pushed through the ground

70. left or right handed?

right handed!

71. least favorite pattern?

probably the hellish bumpy pattern all teachers have all over their fuckin classrooms

72. worst subject?

math

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

chicken nuggets in milkshake... good. or frankly just like. cooked chicken mixed with anythin cold like ice or ice cream

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

like. 3 or 4

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i was eating a crunch bar and it fell out hehe

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

I WOULD DIE FOR FRENCH FRIES.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

any small blooming plant, like a single rose or flower!

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

hrm. coffee from a gas station tbh

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

NEITHER LOOK GOOD LMAO and i don’t have a driver’s license. that’s just like. a prediction

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

jewel tones!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

lightning bugs!

82. pc or console?

either works but i spend more time on pc!

83. writing or drawing?

writing, but i like both!

84. podcasts or talk radio?

talk radio, but i love podcasts like TAZ or Critical Role! 

84. barbie or polly pocket?

neither? but probably barbie bc it’s more well known? idk

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology!

86. cookies or cupcakes?

cupcakes all the way b

87. your greatest fear?

me being the last person i know alive. i’d rather die than outlive everyone

88. your greatest wish?

i hope that no matter what there is after we die, i get to be with the people that are most important to me. 

89. who would you put before everyone else?

my s/o and family tbh

90. luckiest mistake?

buying danganronpa bweguowabguawebogbaweibg

91. boxes or bags?

boxes!

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

fairy lights!

93. nicknames?

i go by wes, dev, bines, anything rlly

94. favorite season?

spring!

95. favorite app on your phone?

tumblr hehe

96. desktop background?

it’s the ddlc cast! it’s a greyscaled image of four of the events cut together and their eyes glow hehe

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

only one, and it’s my dads bc i have to call him every time i go to my grandparents’ hehe

98. favorite historical era?

probably the one we’re in now tbh, but like. also hate it

[kindly-creatot]

first date frappe

so this is a continuation of this coffee shop/college au for dash/danny.

its the first date, so enjoy. c:

Danny didn't think this through. Like most things, he went in head first, brain second. Star was happily taking care of the customers that lined up at the register as Danny made drinks and called them out without much thought to it. Most of his brain power was going to be used up on figuring out what the hell he and Dash were going to do on this date. Star had taken over the playlist for the shop and was now playing cheesy love songs as they worked and would not change it no matter how much Danny begged.

"It's my turn to pick the music today, anyways," Star said with a grin. "Plus you're going on a date with one of my best friends," and that's right. Star is best friends with Dash and dating Kwan.

"Yeah, about that… what does he like to do?" Danny grins sheepishly at her and she gives him a look like she's not impressed. Danny can't blame her, he's not impressed either.

"Well, go to dinner, duh. You're getting off work and you're gonna be hungry," Star tells him with a 'duh' look and Danny frowns at her for a second before calling out the next drink. He feels his phone go off in his back pocket and he grabs it to see an unknown number on the screen with a new text.

unknown number hey, its dash

Danny smiles before replying to the number.

pic or its not real

He was surprised when it took a minute for the reply. He gets a message as he's finishing up a frappe for another blonde girl in yoga pants and calls that out before checking his phone. He chokes on a breath for a second before he takes a deep breath and looks at the picture that Dash had sent once more. It was a typical gym selfie, Dash standing in front of some machine and flexing an arm with a wide grin and phone in the other hand. Danny had to admit that Dash was fit. He had on a loose white tank, slightly stained from sweat, and what Danny guessed were black shorts. Kwan was in the background too and looked like he was posing mockingly behind the blonde.

real enough? ;)

And Danny thought, yeah that's real enough. He felt a stupid smile slip onto his lips as he typed out a reply to the other boy. Sam was laughing at something behind him in her booth. He glances back and Star is over there showing her phone to the goth. How they became friends was beyond Danny, but Sam did spend a large amount of time here  when Tuck and him worked.

"What're you guys laughing at?" Danny asks and leans over the bar top to try and see the blonde girls phone. She shows him the phone and it's a snapchat of Kwan's face as he focuses on Dash behind him, taking the selfie he just sent to Danny. There's a caption on the bottom part of it that says 'when ur bro has a reason to take gym selfies u g2 mock'

Star gets another notification for snapchat as Danny's looking at this one and switches to the new one from Kwan and it's now a pic of a blushing Dash yelling at Kwan, who looks like he's dying of laughter. 'got caught #ohshit'.

Danny can't help but laugh at that and Star looks at him before looking at his unlocked phone on the counter top. She grabs it quicker then he thought she could move, Sam holds out her hand and scrolls through the phone for them to look through as Danny squawks about privacy. Star and Sam find the pic easily and let out what Danny understands as a squee when they see the pic Dash sent.

"Guys, come on, give me my phone back," Danny reaches out to grab it as he feels the blush creeping up his cheeks. It's not that he has to hide anything, Sam's already seen him at his worst growing up. He knew what Sam was doing too. Setting that pic as his contact number and his backgrounds on his phone.

Well, jokes on her, Danny thought, was gonna make Dash his background anyways.

"Seriously, chill, Danny. Just messing around," Sam gave him a toothy grin and he felt even more wary of what was going on now. As soon as the raven haired boy got his phone back he looked through to see if she had texted the blonde or done something stupid. She hadn't so he gave her a look and went back to wiping down counters and texting Dash. -----

7pm rolled around too quickly, or not quick enough. Danny wasn't sure yet. His stomach was turning into a cage for butterflies and he was sure there was a permanent blush on his cheeks as Star kept giving him sideways glances like she knew something. As Tucker came in for his night shift he looked between Danny and Star with a questioning look but didn't comment on anything as he pulled on his apron. Danny sighs and pulls his own apron off, signing out of the register and grabbing his messenger bag.

As he's walking out to the sidewalk, a car pulls up in front of the shop and Danny is struck by the picture it creates. It's a beautifully restored classic, '67 Ford Mustang Fastback with a white paint job and two red stripes down the middle. It's made better when Dash comes out of the drivers side, smiling and blushing. Danny can't help but smile back stupidly until he hears Star call out to them.

"Have fun on your guys date!" and Danny glares at the girl as Dash brings a hand to cover his face. Tucker looks shocked for a moment before Star leans over to him and Danny assumes that she's telling him everything. He looks back at Dash shyly.

"Let's leave while we still can. She'll want pictures like it's prom if we don't go now," Danny tells him and jerks a thumb at the two behind him.

"Uh, yeah, let's go," Dash walks around to the other side of the car and opens the door before Danny can reach it and it makes Danny chuckle. "What?"

"Oh, uh. Well, you just didn't strike me as a 'open the door for a date' kinda person. It's nice," Danny tells him and takes a seat in the car. He takes the moment between when Dash shuts the door and walks over to the drivers side to take in what he's wearing. It's a simple outfit, jeans and, what Danny can only assume, is one of his nicer shirts. Its black and form fitting to his torso, showing off hard worked muscles. He's still staring at the blonde when he sits himself in the drivers seat. Bright eyes catch his own and Danny blushes at being caught.

"I got something on my face?" Dash looks in his rear view mirror for a second before blushing and looking back at Danny. "What?"

"Nothing, you just… you look good," Danny says it softly and hoped that Dash couldn't hear him but when he looked at the blonde, he was grinning again. "Also this car is amazing,"

"Thanks, I uh, well Kwan and I rebuilt it together. I got the frame from my uncle and we just went from there," Dash smiles at fond memories and Danny can see the pride flowing from him. It's the most adorable thing Danny has seen.

"Show me how she drives then," Danny tells him and leans back in his seat, bag by his feet and seatbelt secure. Dash looks at him for a minute, probably wondering why Danny even wanted him to just drive around. "Let's drive,"

"Okay," Dash replies and turns over the ignition, engine growling awake and radio turning on softly as they start away from the shop. With the windows rolled down the breeze feels good in the early summer heat they've been having. Danny closes his eyes and leans to the side with a smile. He hums in contentment, his arm hanging on the window sill and hand running along the wind.

Danny opens his eyes again and looks over to see Dash watching him with a look he can't quite read. It makes him queasy in the best way.

"So… what're you studying?" Dash asks him as they tour the town.

"Astrobiology as my major, with a minor in Astronomy," Danny answers  slightly uneasily. His interests have led to more then one date getting bored by him. Astronomy was simple, people liked stars. It was the Astrobiology that turned people away, being that it expanded the thinking that there was something else out there and he wanted to know if life outside Earth was possible and where it came from.

"Holy crap, really? Now I just feel lazy," Dash laughs loudly and Danny smiles. "So what is astrobiology?"

"The definition is "The exploration of life outside of Earth and to the investigation of the origin and early evolution of life on Earth.”… but that's a kinda boring way of saying it," Danny searched Dash's face for a reaction and waited as he thought about something.

"So… you like aliens and the Big Bang theory?" Dash asks simply and Danny can't help but laugh at it.

"Yeah, that's probably the most basic way of saying it.. Uhm, what're you studying?"

"Oh, Sports Med. I have a full ride scholarship to play football and so I figured I might as well keep my major in the sports field," Dash shrugs and they stop at a red light so he turns to Danny. "You hungry? There's a burger joint that's pretty good,"

"As long as it's not Nasty Burger," Danny laughs at the hometown burger joint he grew up with until he notices the look Dash is giving him. "What?"

"You had a Nasty Burger in your town? I thought my hometown was the only one with that shithole," Dash laughs.

"Yeah, like Amity Park would have a classy burger joint anywhere near it," Danny laughs.

"You grew up in Amity Park? That's where I'm from!" Dash is grinning and Danny can't believe it.

"What? No way! We're from the same hometown? How'd that even happen?" Seriously, what were the odds that he and Dash were from the same town? Slim to none. A car behind them honked and they both looked to the green light turning yellow now and Dash sped off from the angry person behind them with the boys both laughing.

"Shit, that guy was mad," Dash laughed as they pulled into the drive thru of the burger place. "You mind drive thru? There's a place we can go to eat,"

"Nah, it's cool. I can pay," Danny offers, pulling his wallet from his bag. Dash looks like he wants to fight it but doesn't as they pull up to the speaker box. Getting the food was quick and Dash looked a little sour when Danny gave his card to pay for the food but still said nothing. Passing Danny the food and drinks, Dash thanked the person with a dazzling grin and then drove off with Danny laughing at the blonde.

"What're you laughing at, punk?" Dash gave him a sidelong glance as he shifted gears.

"Nothing, just thinking you gotta be careful with that smile of yours. You kinda blindside people with it," Danny tells him and snags a fry from the bag. "You have this like… resting bitch face and then 'bam!' you grin at them and they melt,"

"I don’t have a resting bitch face, you do," Dash laughs at the mocking outrage face Danny shoots him and turns onto a backroad. It trails on for a while and Danny watches the sun start to sink in the sky.

"Okay, maybe we should agree to disagree, but I'm sure most people would think we both do," Danny admits with a smirk. "I mean, just think about the first time I met you. Walk in the café and say I don't know how to make a drink," the raven haired boy laughs as Dash turns a quizzical look to him.

"That wasn't the first time we met," he tells Danny and pulls to a stop near some trees and a picnic table. It’s the picturesque view of the town below. Like a scene out of a romance movie, it's the hill side picnic area, sunset in the background and the town below far away. "You don't know when we first met!" Dash laughs at the raven and gets out of the car with the drinks.

"What do you mean? I would have noticed you if we had classes together…" Danny tries to think back hard now and follows Dash to the picnic table with food.

"Wow, seriously," the blonde looks like he's having too much fun torturing the smaller male as he sips his soda. "We lived down the hall from each other freshman year. You once knocked on my door in nothing but a towel because you locked yourself out of your dorm and your roommate wasn't in. You had me jimmy your door open because Kwan told you I figured out a way to open all the doors in the hall with just a bobby pin and knife,"

"OH. MY. GOD. No, nonono. That cannot be the first time. I refuse," Danny could feel the full body flush taking over at the memory. He covers his face with his hands as he groans and Dash laughs at him. "That just… no. Nope, that did not happen…"

"I wanted to ask you out but as soon as I opened your door, you walked in and slammed it in my face," Dash was smiling at Danny from across the table. How was this his life? He's spent the last three years of his college life trying to forget about that moment because he was so embarrassed to ask that of the cutest guy in his dorm and freaked out.

"I thought that would have been a deal breaker," Danny tells him as he takes his hands off his face but doesn’t drop them, his shield. Dash laughs out loud and Danny feels large hands clasp gently around his wrists to pull them away gently. Dash is looking at him with a grin that could melt the even the coldest heart and a blush of his own.

"I found out from Star that you worked at the coffee shop and tried to work up the courage to go in there and ask you out since I've known about it," he admits with a shrug.

"It took you three years to tell me to date you?" Danny asks with a smirk. The blonde playfully growls but smiles at Danny. "We're both kinda messes, huh?"

"Just means we're gonna get along just fine," Dash tells him and Danny can't help the stupid smile on his face. "We can be messy together,"

"That is soooo cheesy, Dash," Danny barks out a laugh and Dash throws a fry at him as he blushes and frowns.

"Eat your burger and enjoy this romantic view, you jerk," Dash makes a face and Danny starts to like Dash even more as he watches the blonde eat for a moment before digging into his own food. -----

Danny sat in the passenger seat of Dash's car as it was parked in front of the apartment that Danny shared with Tucker and Sam. He was waiting, not sure for what but he wanted to stay in this moment a bit longer. Danny liked this moment in time specifically.

Dash was in the driver's seat, talking about something that happened in class the other day with Kwan and Danny had found out that when Dash talks, he talks with his hands. The raven haired boy was comfortable in Dash's letterman jacket, the blonde had offered it when it got cold outside and Danny had instantly taken up the offer of it, memorizing the scent of it.

"I guess… we should call it a night?" Dash was looking up at the apartments with a look on his face that Danny wasn't sure how to read yet. His hands gripped the steering wheel lightly and the street lights cast a sort of glow on his face that made Danny want to take a picture.

"I guess… I, uh, had a really good time, Dash," he speaks softly, like it's gonna break him to leave the car.

"I did too, Danny… maybe we could… we could do something this weekend? If you're not busy?" Dash doesn’t look at him and bites his bottom lip.

"I'd like that," he gets a glance from bright eyes and rosy cheeks. "A lot,"

"Good, good… Good," Dash nods his head and breaths deep, like he's preparing himself for something. Danny's got a hand on the door, squeezing the handle and grabbing his bag as he turns to face Dash and say goodnight. The blonde reaches for Danny though and wraps a hand around the back of his head to smash their faces together in a sort of kiss. Danny blinks once and then closes his eyes, sighing into the kiss and smiling against the lips on his. Dash pulls away after a moment but doesn’t let Danny go. "Was that… was that okay? To do?"

"Well, I would have been severely disappointed in the both of us if we didn't kiss goodnight," Danny says with a smirk. Dash rolls his eyes and leans back in for a chaste kiss. "I do have a test tomorrow though… So I should probably go,"

"Yeah," another kiss. "Probably," Dash agrees and once more leans in for a kiss before Danny breaks it and opens the car door. Danny smiles against his lips and starts to lean away.

"This is me," kiss. "Leaving," kiss. "Really…" kiss. Danny breaks away again and actually gets a foot out before he looks back up at Dash's face. He's beaming that megawatt smile again and Danny bites his bottom lip, already missing the feeling of Dash's warm hand in his hair. "Night, Dash,"

"Night, Danny," the blonde makes no move to stop him this time as he actually makes it out of the car, grabbing his bag to sling it across his body. He shuts the door and heads to the passcode locked door before he looks back at Dash.

Who is doing that fist pump thing in his car and thrashing around happily.

Until he looks up at Danny, who is watching with glee at the show, and then stops and hides his face by hitting his forehead on the top of the steering wheel. When he looks back up at Danny, the raven waves with a smile and heads inside the building.

It's when Danny makes it into the apartment that he realizes he still has Dash's jacket on. Well, hopefully the blonde wouldn't miss it till the weekend, Danny hoped at least.

[surveyjunkie]

i wish the tide would take me over

The 5000 question survey part 7

601. Do you have a lust for life?

Not at the moment, no. 602. Do you want to get more out of life?

Of course. I just don’t have the means at the moment.  603. Would you want to learn to: Convert to Buddhism?

I’ve considered it. 

Cure a hangover?

It’s not really that hard to cure or prevent a hangover. Just take a multivitamin with a glass of water. Or drink pickle juice. 

Lie persuasively?

I already know how to do that. << 604. What character from a movie is most like you?

Kristen Wiig’s character from Bridesmaids.  605. Are you comfortable with the idea of your own death?

No, is anyone? 606. How do you feel about arranged marriages?

They’re fucked up. 607. What do you hate that everyone else seems to like?

Diet Coke or IPAs  608. What do you like that others seem to hate?

Sour beer 609. If you had to be named after a month, which month would you pick?

April 610. Is time more like a highway or a meadow to you?

Highway

611. What is your favorite movie?

Silver linings playbook.  612. Which would you choose to be back in the day: a warrior, an alchemist, a minstrel, a bard, an oracle, a peasant, or a merchant?

I’d chose to be an oracle, I think. <<  613. What is your favorite song lyric?

I don’t have just one, that’s too hard. 614. What will you never run out of?

"I forgive you”s 615. If you could force someone to fall madly in love with you, (anyone you choose) would you do it?

I already have who I want.  616. Have you ever seen the Disney movie The Black Cauldron?

Long long ago.  617. Have you ever read The Black Cauldron by Alexander Lloyd (or any of his other books in the Prydain Chronicles)?

Long long ago. 

618. Have you ever written a paper the night before it was due? Yup…

How about the day it was due?

Yes.  619. Is there a movie you have watched so many times that you can quote it line for line?

Maybe Mean Girls, or Coming to America.  620. What is your favorite season?

Late spring/early summer 621. Do you mind being described as cute?

No. 622. What is the tackiest object in your home?

I’m not sure.  623. What do you think people are most ignorant towards?

Mental health 624. What is it that makes you an interesting person?

Other than my background, I don’t really think anything about me is interesting.  625. What makes other people interesting to you?

I feel like that’s a loaded question. I’m usually always the most interested in people who don’t talk very much because they come off as mysterious, but I also think a person’s personal experiences or views on life make them interesting too. 

626. How open to suggestion are you?

Fairly open

627. Is Michael Jackson black or white?

Black.  628. Are you often lonely?

Just when I’m at work. These surveys are a personal escape from the bleakness that surrounds me when I’m here.  629. What’s the most unusual pet you’ve ever had?

Bearded dragon, but they’re not considered unusual anymore.  630. Have you ever threatened an authority figure?

I don’t think so 631. If you had to choose would you rather make all your decisions henceforth with your head only or with your heart only?

Head only 632. How imaginative are you?

Fairly 633. Do you like the Counting Crows?

They’re okay 634. If you took this survey from the diary (5000 Q Survey V2.0) did you note me so I could read it?

I did not. 635. Are you more tense or laid back?

A weird combination of both 636. Does your happiness depend on anyone else, or are you happy no matter what any one says or does?

Somewhere in between? I think it definitely depends on my loved ones but I also know I need to create my own 637. What do you think of the idea of putting the bible into the format of a fashion magazine to attract the interest of teenagers?

LOL. 

638. How often do you drink to get drunk? Once or twice a week

639. Would you consider yourself to be diplomatic?

Too diplomatic sometimes. 

640. Do you think that most of the classes you have taken were taught in such a way as to make plain the relevance of the subject matter in your everyday life?

I majored in psychology, so yes. 

641. Do you remember Crystal Pepsi?

No, I’m too young. I’ve heard of it though. 

642. When was the last time you spent a night away from home?

Whenever I was last at Josh’s. 

643. Some people say that there is no such thing as a stupid question. Is that true?

It’s somewhat true. If you ask a question it means you are seeking knowledge rather than claiming you know something.  644. What is the most interesting TV channel?

I haven’t had cable in a couple of years now, but I thought TLC always had some pretty interesting/wacky shows. 

645. Name one song you could live without hearing ever again:

Probably every single twenty one pilots song. (sorry)

646. Do your pets understand you when you talk?

Kind of, yeah. I think they know when I’m talking about them.  647. What are three things you HAVE NOT done that might surprise people?

I’ve never surfed, been to overnight camp, or gotten my tonsils removed 648. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

Kind of...more like a stalker I suppose.  649. Have you been to a museum this year?

No

650. Do you ever watch porn?

I used to on occasion.  651. Do you think that it would be a good idea if people served in the army, navy or air force for a while before they were allowed to vote?

No. 652. If you were required to do this to vote, would you?

I wouldn’t be allowed in the army for various health reasons, so it doesn’t matter. That’s part of why I don’t think it would be a fair requirement.  653. Do people often give you weird looks?

No 654. Do like Japanese cooking?

Yes.  655. Do you care for stray animals?

Whenever I can, I try to. I’ll put out food for stray cats if they’re wandering around the neighborhood.  656. Which animated movies have you seen and what did you think of them: A Charlie Brown Christmas, A Garfield Halloween, The Secret of Nimh, The Last Unicorn, The original Lord of the Rings cartoons

I’ve only seen A Charlie Brown Christmas, and I thought it was okay. I’m not big into Peanuts. 

657. Are you ambidextrous (equally good at using both hands)?

Nope, I’m right handed. 658. Do you always say; “bless you” after someone sneezes, or do you hesitate?

Not always, but most of the time.  659. If you and your friends could go away for 2 days over Halloween weekend where would you go?

America, probably. I feel like Halloween in the US is intense. I’d love to go to one of those really fancy haunted houses. Don’t Universal have one each year? << Yes, we are super into Halloween here, it’s one of the few things about the states that I love! You can find crazy haunted houses just about anywhere.  660. Which of these animated movies have you seen and what did you think of them: Watership Down, As the Wind Blows, Grave of the Fireflies, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Spirited Away

How The Grinch Stole Christmas was missing something to it, but it was entertaining. And Spirited Away was fucking amazing.  661. Do you feel that society is male dominated, female dominated, or neutral?

Male dominated.  662. What words offend you?

Words don’t really offend me, actions do.

663. They’re just words. Can you get over it?

I said they didn’t bother me :)  664. Have you ever looked into different religions?

Buddhism and Judaism  665. Which ones have you looked into?

^ 666. What do you think of Satanism as a religion?

A lot of them are more chill than some Christians are...but I don’t really agree with them.  667. Do you like it better when your classes are taught sitting in rows or sitting in a circle?

It depends on the class.  668. Have you ever read your own tarot cards?

I have not. 669. Which ones do you like better, the three old star wars movies or the 2 new ones?

Old 670. If you scream in outer space does it make a sound?

No, I don’t believe so. But I could be wrong.  671. If you saw The Queen of the Damned did you want to be a vampire/Goth afterwards?

Haven’t seen it. 672. If you saw SLC Punk did you want to be punk afterwards?

Haven’t seen that either. 673. What is your favorite zombie movie?

21 Days Later! 674. Best kids birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater

Roller rink and sleep over 675. What were your parties like when you were a kid?

Small outdoor parties. Sometimes by the pool.  676. Best teen (about 15-16) birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater, house party, catered in a hall, restaurant, family trip, concert

House party or catered.  677. What are/were your 15-16 year old parties like?

Mine were always just dinner and a movie, but my wealthier friends would have big Sweet 16′s at like venues with catered food and DJ’s.  678. Best 18th birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater, house party, catered in a hall, restaurant, family trip, concert, club, pool hall, college party

College party. Because college was so cool to me as a high schooler hah. 

679. If you are 18 what was your party like?

We went to Benihana’s and then the hookah bar

680. Best 21st birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater, house party, catered in a hall, restaurant, family trip, concert, club, pool hall, college party, bar, Atlantic city/Las Vegas trip

Las Vegas trip sounds pretty lit. <<<

681. If you saw The Craft were you interested in wicca/paganism/magic afterwards?

Haven’t seen it.

682. What are your top 3 priorities?

Mental health, relationships, school/work. << 

683. If you saw fight club did you want to get into a fistfight afterwards?

No

684. What is your favorite smell?

Coconut

685. Give everything below a humor rating (1 = laugh your ass off, 2 = lol, 3 = smile, 4 = lame, 5 = not funny, 6 = offensive): People falling

2

Rape jokes

6

Sarcastic comments

2

Blonde jokes

5

Dirty jokes

2

God/religion jokes

3

Long-ass jokes

3

Death jokes

3

Pain/sickness jokes 5

Animals doing cute stuff

1

Bodily functions

3

Knock jokes

5

Ethnic jokes

3

Puns

2

Ironic situations

1

685. If you saw Cruel Intentions did you want to have lots of meaningless sex afterwards?

No.

686. Do you get at least three hugs per day?

From the same person, yes.

687. What should someone never say to you/call you if they want to remain on your good side?

A cunt or a bitch? Lol 

688. If you saw Trainspotting did you want to do drugs afterwards?

I haven’t seen trainspotting

689. Do movies have a great influence on you?

Sometimes

690. Do you have a favorite reality TV show?

Not anymore, I used to love reality TV back when I had cable though. 

691. Are there certain roles that people are pressured to play in society or can they basically do whatever they want?

There are definitely roles in order to feel “accepted” or “normal”. It’s all bullshit. 

692. How does the 2004 Dawn of the Dead remake compare to the original movie?

I don’t think I’ve seen either

693. Have you ever held a magnifying glass over an insect to burn it?

Nope, that’s kind of a creepy thing to do.

694. Have you ever pulled the wings off a fly, butterfly or any other insect?

^

695. What would you think of a guy (if you’re into guys) or a girl (if you’re into girls) who wanted to take you to the park to feed the birds and look at the turtles and fish in the water on a date?

I mean, sure. 

696. Do you use public pools?

Yeah, but I prefer not to.

697. Do you use public bathrooms?

Yup.

698. Do you use public showers?

Yup.

699. How old will you be in 17 years?

41 years old 0_o

700. Would it effect you at all if you knew that a very large meteor was headed towards earth that would impact in 17 years?

Yeah, that would suck

[angstylittlecatboy]

memories of my sprite comic nobody read

I'm not sure if I believe in the whole angel numbers thing anymore but I think they want me to reintroduce my sprite comic (saw 111 while thinking about it.) I just feel like talking about it, idk. I know nobody cares.

Barring a few standout strips I don't think Purrnout the Edgy Cat (covering my bases here, but the comic predates me meeting FP by two years, “edgy” refers to how stuff like Linkin Park and Shadow the Hedgehog is referred to as edgy) was a good comic, most of it's gags fall flat, the backgrounds and walking sprites were mostly ugly (if my more detail-oriented brother was downstairs he'd insist I do better,) and I could never get a story arc off the ground, but I only made it to kill the bore (in the description it said "updates whenever boredom strikes") and I had fun making it.

The idea was to be a sprite comic (believe me, I’d draw the comic if I were any good at drawing, but I learned my lesson from having DeviantArt) that was something of an affectionate parody of early 2000s sprite comics while avoiding a lot of the common complaints about them, also throwing in some punk/goth/emo culture. Specifically, all of it's characters were original, only one was a recolor (and his name was Recolor the Hedgehog, he was the deuteragonist and straight man, I planned to make him the only character who can't do cool superpower stuff for irony,) I didn't use backgrounds from Google Images, it didn't directly take place in the universe of something else (my idea was that it took place in a nonsense universe where every work of fiction is somehow canon, though I wanted to be pretty strict about seeing concepts and objects but never characters from other works, but other than showing Recolor losing rings, nothing ever came of it,) I tried not to mainly use reference or shock humor, and I tried to use a consistent sprite style for the characters and backgrounds (I confess to ripping effects.) I don't think it ever achieved parody of 00s sprite comics, I wanted to eventually make some stuff like DBZ-style sprite battles and teen melodrama, but I ended up making a gag-a-day strip mostly utilizing cringe comedy. At least, all the good or least bad strips are cringe comedy. I tried teen melodrama but it was mostly big lipped aligator moments that went nowhere, especially both aborted story arcs (though the latter was going to be less teen melodrama and more band melodrama.) If I reupload the comic, the arc comics won’t be reuploaded with the rest as I consider them non-canon since neither got past two strips and the first attempt would have honestly ruined the comic if it finished. I guess there were two continuous strips where Purrnout commited tax fraud (I think this predated the Yoshi meme) but I don’t see that as a story arc. Actually the first three comics were sorta a story arc but they mostly just introduced the main two, explained why Purrnout is living in an apartment (I think I needed to explain this as I intended it as a Chekrov’s Gun for a later story arc,) and made some obscure Green Day references. Maybe the arc comics could get re-added at a different place on the timeline if I felt like completing the arcs. A huge problem is that I didn’t make an outline for them tbh.

The style I settled on for the backgrounds and sprites was that of the Neo Geo Pocket Color. The panels were in either that system’s resolution or one close to it (they were tiny.) I ignored palette limitations, but so did most sprite comics.

I must admit that the title character is a self-insert fantasy to some extent, he was admittedly, like 16-year-old me but cooler. Well, not really cooler since the comic revolves around him being a loser, but he was an emancipated minor and a good punk/alt rock guitarist, both tying into my fantasies at the time, and he was a lonely emo teenager trying to not be mainstream. If I brought the comic back, I’d continue to write Purrnout as 16YO me and not as 18YO me. I’m still a loser, but my spiritual beliefs, dedication to kindness, and inconsistent attitudes towards life WOULD NOT mesh with the character. Purrnout cannot have reverence to things that control the world or talk about peace and love, he needs to be angry at the world and be a bit of a deliberately insensitive asshole to the people he doesn’t like. Sort of a much less extreme version of an incel (I identified as such at the time.) Wouldn’t call him a Mary Sue, though it’s not really my call to make since I’m the author and this is the only creative work of mine that can kinda be considered “completed” that I’m still fond of in a way. Maybe I’ll cringe someday, but not today.

There’s not much to say about Recolor the Hedgehog, he’s very much a pretty normal guy other than having nerdy interests and Purrnout as a best friend. He more or less exists to be a straight man. He was a composite of my brother and an ex-friend.

I might as well mention the comic’s other non-antagonist character since I’ve already talked about both Purrnout and Recolor. Love the Golden Retriever, a rich, smart, pretty normie girl with a Pollyanna viewpoint, a wish to heal people like Purrnout, and a crush on Recolor. She was based on a variety of girls who tried to become my friend out of pity and were nice enough but we didn’t connect. Purrnout finds her annoying, while she considers Purrnout a friend. I also introduced another one, but she was part of the first aborted attempt at an arc. 

A third main character was planned as well, but she was supposed to be introduced in a story arc that I planned but never even tried to start. She wouldn’t make it into the comic if I start it up again, at least not without heavy modification, as I eventually met someone who was very similar to the character I had in mind. So similar that adding them now would look creepy.

The comic’s most common antagonist was a cat named Muffin. He was basically Chad Thundercock, probably the most shallow character in a comic that wasn’t long enough to get deep. I also introduced another character intended as an antagonist in an admittedly-hamfisted way named Felicity the Once-Golden Retriever, Love’s best friend who used to be a highly optimistic normie with a promising modelling career before Muffin cheated on her, and then became an angsty anti-society rebel who thinks cutting her hair and dying her fur darker makes her ugly. She hated Purrnout because she felt that Purrnout hadn’t suffered like she had and is moping for no reason, which annoys her. I think I was trying to do a straw feminist character minus the actual feminism, but don’t quote me on that. I had a third antagonist that I wanted to introduce, my favorite antagonist made for the comic actually, and he already cameoed, but I never ended up writing him. Maybe if I had my PC through Summer/Fall 2018 I would’ve made more (the last one was Spring 2018.)

But anyway, it doesn’t really matter. My brother was the only person who really read Purrnout, but I do remember him getting a chuckle out of it. I posted it on Tumblr (now deleted) and I got one follower, who was likely a bot. I never posted a link to it on my main Tumblr, partially because I wanted to see it gain an organic audience first (it didn’t lol) and partially because I was scared of it being seen as cringe. You may have come across it if you browsed the “sprite comic” tag on here. I know Tumblr is a bad place to host webcomics (at least if it’s the only place you’re hosting the webcomic) but it’s free, I was familiar with it, and I wasn’t making any plans to profit off of or take the comic seriously (it ran Summer 2016 - Spring 2018 and only had twenty strips.)

I’m still hesitant to bring back the comic because I honestly want to use the universe (most of it, obviously modifications would need to be made) for a video game idea I have, though that would be 10+ years in the future if I ever have credibility as a game developer since I couldn’t see myself doing that one without a team (”3D hack n’ slash platformer” is a lot harder than “2D JRPG.”) Hell, I originally made the sprite for a Zelda II clone I wanted to make with Purrnout using side mounted guns (because Shadow the Edgehog,) but for some reason, be it laziness (not wanting to re-learn Game Maker) or wanting to use the character for something more character driven, I ended up making a sprite comic instead. Another route I could do is redesigning and renaming Recolor, and removing all sprites ripped from other games, but I’m extremely hesitant to mess with Recolor’s design since his worried face is a running gag and if I did continue I’d still want to eventually make jokes that don’t work without him being a Sonic recolor.

Also, it wasn’t a furry webcomic, at least not entirely. “pet sized” (cats, dogs, wolves, foxes, etc.) characters would stand on fours while characters of much smaller or much larger stature (cows, hedgehogs,) than that would be anthropomorphic.

[papermoth-bird-blog]

California Coast: Santa Cruz to San Francisco.

On our way down to Santa Cruz, we tried to take our time once again. That being said, we did take many of the look off’’s on the previous days’ trip. And, I will admit, there was growing antsiness in my inner world. I was about ready to be by myself again, and yet, I was still so far from that being logistically possible. 

We drove through Big Sur again towards Monterey, stopping to look at cows and flowers and water bodies. Gopala insisted he wanted to try to pet a cow- despite my “I don’t think they’d like that much”. As we rounded each bend, I imagined all the people who had ridden along these same roads. Kerouac, without a doubt, but so many more writers and artists & muses themselves. Not to mention all the people that had travelled this coastal highway that I’d never even heard of, and maybe wouldn’t ever. Each scattering their own thoughts into the wind as they passed along this road. Each of these people forming new parts of themselves here too. It did feel like a gateway of some sort to me. An unseen passageway- one that wasn’t so tangible, or perhaps concretely emotional, but one that I am strangely sure was there. 

The car climbed off the coast & towards the inland road. We came across a farm stand- one that had some of the best produce prices I’ve ever see- 3 avocados for a dollar! 7 kiwis for a dollar! I got myself a big bag of banana chips & a bunch of fresh stuff (including mangoes, blood oranges, avocados) all under 6 dollars. Gonna say that might be the bargain of the whole trip. I ate avocados & orange in the car as we eventually rolled into Santa Cruz. The thing about getting up at 5 is that your day complete already as you are still sitting in early afternoon. We waited for the Library to open so we could charge our devices. Gopala also wanted to print more photos of Gurus and Gods for his car. Once my phone was charged enough, I took the opportunity to taste independence again, if not for a short amount of time. I told Gopala I was going for a walk & vaguely waved that I’d be back in a bit. 

‘A bit’ turned out the be a couple hours later. Even that didn’t really feel like enough time alone. I knew what I really need, what I really wanted, was to be really truly alone & in control of my being- my schedule, my routine, my diet. Gopala had a bad tendency to judge absolutely everything I do. Only to follow up with some Vendatic reasoning if I showed any kind of indifference to the stuff he was telling me. What irritates me most about men, is that they seem to think “quiet & polite” means “weak & a push-over”, That alone really bubbles-up my inner demon. More then that though, I felt like my schedule wasn’t in my control either, I kept saying “I think I just need to get to San Fran and regroup”, but we found lots of reasons to delay.

Santa Cruz.

For what it’s worth, Santa Cruz is a really beautiful place and definitely has a really cool vibe about it. There were the most skaters I’ve ever seen in one area-- with the potential exception of Venice Beach. Driving down the streets you saw cool old cars with surf boards sticking out the windows or strapped onto the rook- waiting for the slightest bit of warmer weather. The beach was pretty nice, with a pier & bars like most Californian City Beaches. In addition to that, though, there is also a full blown carnival set up down there. Colourful rides & the like. Out of all the carnivals I’ve ever been to, this one genuinely had one of the best vibes about it- but maybe that’s because I walked through it alone (or rather on the phone with Kluane) due to it being the off season. The town is also filled with a lot of new-agey shops that smell like incense- although a little more gentrified than other places I’ve been. Overall Santa Cruz felt a little dream & half asleep. It’s a college town (a similar size to Kingston ON), that you can tell gets packed in summer with people seaking that iconic “California” experience. 

Like much of the coast, there are a lot of people in Santa Cruz living out of their vans, not by force, but by choice. At the library, we pulled up next to this guy with a long grey beard & dreads tucking into his trucker hat. The van had all kinds of sticker stuck to the sides- bands, places & funny sayings- but mostly bands. Later in the day, we struck up a conversation with him, when he heard us listening to Jerry Garcia as Gopala redecorated the inside of his mobile shrine. He passed us a flyer & invited us to a few shows for the following week. Gopala seemed interested, but The shows started at 9, which was definitely later than we were staying up at that point. Plus he might have seen the pleading “please let’s just leave” face I had on. The guy went on to talk about conspiracy theories of the California fires & about surfing & about the “hundred year bloom” that was about to happen in Death Valley. On another trip- perhaps with my sisters- I could really settle into the vibe & would have loved to stay and make friends like this, but this time, I knew, was not the time. 

Along with the distinctly laid back vibe, there is a really strong & healthy rebel vibe. We happened upon Subrosa (which, when I walked by before, drew me in too for whatever reason...maybe someone told me about & I forgot). Anyways, they were having a “Free Fair”, meaning everything there was Free- Nice clothing, massages, books, trinkets, homemade food, electronics & instruments. I myself, collected a t-shirt from an artist I think lives in New Orleans (because I recognize their work) & a couple ‘zines from their library which was about herbalism & making tincture. I kinda took a deep breath, because these people reminded me of my community back home. I overheard conversations like “oh, I’m teaching for two weeks at witch camp” & “yeah I was gathering a lot of pursulane recently”. I smiled to myself as the young girl whispered to her mom “look mom! There’s our farmer!” There was a guy also dressed up like a full blown pirate- like something out of Pirates of the Caribbean. I walked around the patio- looking a the lace & silk scarves hanging from the trees- talking myself down, because I knew I had absolutely no more room in my pack.

Gopala ended up getting into a Vendantic argument with that very same farmer not five minutes later. I snapped to attention- but there was nothing I could really do. The guy was pointing out that the bindi Gopala was wearing might be considered cultural appropriation, and Gopala went immediately into a schpeal about “well that only makes sense if you think you are the body”. To which the guy said “huh?” “you aren’t the body, you aren’t the mind, you are god”. You could tell the guy did not want to engage in that way and he about said as much, adding “I actually like being in my body & connecting to it” to which Gopala said something like “Well you are living in full ignorance then”. I wanted to scream out of embarrassment, but also on behalf of my allyship with this man. As we got into the car, I tried to explain to Gopala that he shouldn’t engage with people like that & why it might be inappropriate & how he is speaking from an opinion of the Truth, but that other people connect to Truth in a different way. He wasn’t interested in hearing me though, and pretty much accused me too of being “asleep”, to which he told me I’d feel better if I did some breathing excersizes. Instead I repacked my bag & held my breath (literally) for fear that if I let any of my breath out it would come tumbling out with curse words and further angry grumbles. He was reminding me more and more of a definite mixture of two of my least favourite ex-boyfriends and I was getting a huge urge to straight up run away. I was determined to get to San Fran, though and it was only an hour & a half away at that point. 

We paused again near the seashore- because Gopala suggested doing meditation at the beach- I think he was trying to do it for me partitally, but we couldn’t find cheap parking anywhere. Instead we found a lot further up & I hoped out the car & called a friend. And cried a little out of frustration. And then I cried a little more about Ellie- and what a hard ass she had been. And that she was the type of person to say exactly what she meant & what she wanted & stuck to her guns like no one else. If I learned anything from her, it was that. I felt better after that cry. I knew that I had all that in me too. And I was fully resolved to use those skills, I didn’t care about being sweet and fully polite at that point. 

San Francisco.

We got back in the car & finally drove onto the highway towards San Francisco. All the way, I was messaging friends who might have friends or contacts in San Fran- so I could ground with a friendly face of some sort. My friend Asa (who I stayed with in NOLA) used to live in Oakland (the city just across the bridge from san fran). He found a friend that I could stay with, which felt like a huge relief. She was out until late evening tho, so I decided to get a hostel for the night. I got Gopala to drop me off at the HI city centre & did my best not to full run out of the car. I didn’t think to look back though. 

The Hostel is huge- obviously an old hotel of apartment building or something. It’s old, but has all the charms that come along with creaky buildings- including an old-fashioned elevator & distinct architecture features. The walls are covered in Art that depicts witches & little gothic characters. The front desk people looked normal enough- except one girl who was a full blown goth, complete with pleather jacket with fur trim, shaved hair style & the most dramatic eyebrows I’ve seen in a long while. Gothy-girl band music played over the common areas. I felt immediately at home/calm. 

I went up to my room & decided the best thing I could do for myself was to re:group in simple ways- shower, meditate, read, check in with a few friends & write. I met my dorm mates- two girls from Germany on a road trip through the western part of America. We chatted for a while about travel & the Grand Canyon & the Coast of California. They leave today for the rest of their. I have to check out at 11 from the hostel & make my way to oakland with my big pack. Gopala already messaged me about coming to a Sivananda Vedanta thing, but I’m just gonna leave that message hanging a bit. I’ll have to get back to him eventually because I owe him gas money. For the mean time, I’m gonna take a breather & experience the city by myself. 

So far, it feels a lot like New York- tall buildings everywhere- the “never sleep” vibe. I’m in a district called the Tenderloin, near chinatown. There are lots of homeless people around, so I went low pressure about the walking-around-at-night-by-myself. I did do some research about things to do around here. I heard tell that the Mission district is home to the best Burritos in the country- which I read on trip advisor first. But as soon as I went back into the lobby, a few people came in talking loudly about them too. So you know I’m going to have to do that. Apparently the city is fairly walkable. The German girls told me three days would be plenty to feel like I’ve “seen San Francisco”. I’m looking forward to it, but already planning my trip back to LA so that I have some wiggle room for my trip to Mexico. I’m really looking forward to that & hoping to save as much money as I can here (ha! the most expensive city in the sates) so that I have more money to do exciting things with my friends in Tulum. Trying my best to be present though, with all that being said. I have a good feeling about today, and that’s all I really need. 

[falpex]

Learn about me! If you want...

Thank you @heck-to-the-nah for tagging me in this list thingy; truly, I was giddy. This is one of those fun “92 questions about you” things that remind me of early fanfiction.net profiles. I’m putting it under the link in case people don’t want to see it. (Also, I did not write this list, jsyk).


LAST  [1] drink: water [2] phone call: my best friend [3] text message: this Creationist I’m trying to convince to be an atheist [4] song you listened to: Eraser by Ed Sheeran [5] time you cried: earlier today, reading a fic (this is probably the answer 90 %of the time [6] dated someone twice: I haven’t done this, but I have gone back and back and back to a guy who would never “define” it. I never say explicitly that we dated, but when I’m talking about my dating history, he comes up [7] been cheated on: nope [8] kissed someone and regretted it: yes [9] lost someone special: my kitty died a year ago and it was horrible [10] been depressed: Pretty bad right now [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: the only time this happened, I was pretty sure it was just a side effect of one of my medications, but now I think my bar grew to like me and was giving me the good rum in my rum and cokes. 
LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] purple [13] gold [14] white 
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: yes [16] fallen out of love: no; I’m on a break [17] laughed until you cried: this is what friends are, so yes [18] found out someone was talking about you: this defines my family (but I love them) [19] met someone who changed you: no [20] found out who your true friends are: not in the last year, no [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: nope, going back to that break [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: first, I want to complain about this list construction—how is this an “in the last year”?? I’m not going to count, but all but one of them, who has my same last name and I just assume we are related [23] do you have any pets: 2 cats, one dog [24] do you want to change your name: no, but I did come up with a new pseudonym for writing [25] what did you do for your last birthday: my best friend took me out to dinner, and I facetimed my sister [26] what time did you wake up: every day for the last year? I could never answer that [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: reading this AgePlay fic for the angst (there was not enough) [28] name something you cannot wait for: is this a trick? Something I can’t wait for that happened last year? (ok I’ll stop). I can wait for a lot, but I’m looking forward to getting to see my family [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: January, I think? [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I wish we had never moved from my childhood home [31] what are you listening to right now: Ed Sheeran [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: I have a cousin, but I call him tommy john. I’ve also written notes in my friends’ journals pretending to be Tom Riddle [33] something that is getting on your nerves: I’m incapable of hanging posters or pictures up straight. They are always crooked [34] most visited websites: care.com, the blackhawks website, gmail, tumblr, random.org, the skint and this list of popular baby names in the uk [35] elementary: what? Is this a question? Elementary school, I learned that I liked being friends with boys more than girls. [36] high school: I miss high school. I learned to be friends with girls again. I did all the theatre [37] college: I’m so glad I went. I think everyone should have the chance to go. Also, since this quiz left it out: middle school was my goth phase, and music from 2004 to 2007 was the best [38] hair colour: brunette with lots of blonde highlights [39] long or short hair: long [40] do you have a crush on someone: nope [41] what do you like about yourself?: my brain [42] piercings: ears [43] blood type: I always forget, but it’s relatively rare, because I had to get blood as a baby and only my dad and one of his uncles could donate to me [44] nickname: Nikki. Pablo. [45] relationship status: single [46] zodiac sign: ew. I think aries, but didn’t it change recently? It was aries when I last paid attention [47] pronouns: she/her [48] fav tv show(s): the office, parks and rec, house

[49] tattoos: I want to get something on my wrist, but only after I’m done cutting for sure. Maybe when I get a kid? [50] right or left handed: right 
FIRST…  [51] surgery: I had a hole in my heart when I was born, and that was fixed when I was like two [52] piercing: I got my ears done when I was 21; I didn’t think I was going to drink, so I did that instead [53] best friend: There was this girl in kindergarten; I remember her face but not her name. She moved that summer, and I got to do dance lessons instead (my parents were weird) [54] sport: those dance lessons! [55] vacation: probably to Michigan to visit family [56] pair of trainers: ah, now I know this is a british quiz. How would I know this? My baby shoes are bronzed though [57] eating: I know that when I was teething I ate frozen peas and corn, and loved them and I still eat them [58] drinking: if you mean alcohol, I had some giant horrifying touristy drink at Rainforest Cafe [59] i’m about to: I will probably have an éclair. Mcdonald’s if I don’t feel like just have dessert. [60] listening: first listening? My dad is a big soft rock fan, and I know that we used to listen to “Always Something There to Remind Me” by Naked Eyes when he would rock me before I would go to sleep [61] waiting for: again, is this now or my first? If I didn’t hate these so much, I would write my own list… ok though. I said something I was waiting for, so the first thing I remember waiting for was to get in trouble after I told my mom a lie about a kid from my preschool. She never caught me. [62] want: first thing I remember really wanting was to know how to read [63] get married: I do definitely want to be married. I want five kids and a backyard. [64] career: I want to be a professor. Or an author. Both I guess 
YOUR TYPE… [65] hugs or kisses: hugs  [66] lips or eyes: lips [67] shorter or taller: everyone is taller than me [68] older or younger: I’ve never once dated someone older than me [69] romantic or spontaneous: romantic. [70] nice arms or nice stomach: arms. I’ve never really gotten the obsession over abs. Side-story: I read a fic once where Draco was like a middle-aged wizard with a poochy stomach and ?someone? from next gen was into it. It was a pretty good fic. [71] sensitive or loud: these aren’t opposites? But I would rather sensitive, I think. [72] hook up or relationship: relationship [73] troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker. But I mean in a fun way. Like. Louis 
HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger?: nah [75] drank hard liquor?: yes [76] lost glasses/contact lenses?: probably? Not permanently though. I still own every pair of glasses I’ve ever had, ha [77] turned someone down?: yes. Multiple times [78] sex on first date?: no, but I also don’t really date [79] broken someone’s heart?: I think so, actually. It was a really tough time for me, and I think he ended up better off for it. And the other time, I’m not so sure about, but we don’t talk anymore. She may not have loved me after all. I did love her, but didn’t really know it until too late.

[80] had your own heart broken?: no. I’ve never really fallen hard, I don’t think [81] been arrested? No, thank go [82] cried when someone died? Yes. Well. Not right at the time, but yes [83] fallen for a friend: I’ve had a crush on a friend? I know I just said no like three questions ago, but. This phrasing is different. 
DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself?: literally, yes. I have to, it’s the only way to function [85] miracles?: no. I’m an atheist [86] love at first sight?: no. but retrospectively, yes [87] santa claus? no [88] kiss on the first date?: like I said, I don’t date. But yes [89] angels?: again no. [90] current best friend’s name: Do I believe in my best friend’s name? I believe that this is a poorly written quiz. It’s Will. [91] eye colour: nope. My eye color is a lie. [92] favourite movies: Braveheart, It’s a Wonderful Life, A Knight’s Tale

 I don’t like these things, generally, and this one isn’t written super well. But I’m so ecstatic to have been tagged. So. If any of my mutuals want to have a go, please do! I’m not going to tag you though.