#when I was a kid I looked like shirley temple

[cursedauxiliary]

I need to get better at touching my hair, this is so dumb but I've started braiding before I go to bed and its so much easier in the morning

[reidrum]

all yours if you want me | s.r

pairing: spencer reid x bau!fem!reader

a/n: i think i really like this but if i proofread it one more time im gonna hate it so im just putting it out now lol. this is the full version of the sneak peak i posted last week woohoo ! also this is my first time writing smut so im sorry if it sucks but i hope y'all like it <3

summary: bau's got their first day off in weeks, and you're heading straight to the club to have some fun, you just didn't expect your coworker/crush to also be there while you're trying to forget him.

cw: 18+ minors pls dni, smut, p in v (dont be silly wrap ur willy), munch!spence, lowkey softdom!spence, suggestive dancing in public spaces, minor insecure reader, reader is afab and wears a dress and heels

wc: 4.6k

pls let me know if i forgot anything and let me know your thoughts pleaseee xx

it was the first friday night off you and any of the team members of the bau had in a long time, and you all were determined to spend it well. jj and hotch immediately went home to their families, penelope and emily decided they were going home to get some well needed rest, rossi went to a cigar club, not really sure what derek and spencer ended up doing, but you knew what you were doing tonight.

you’d had a long standing invitation from one of your college friends for a club night, and at first you’d decline because you’d get swept away on a case, and because you were hopelessly pining after your hot nerdy coworker dr. spencer reid.

spencer was smart in many ways, three PhDs, countless published papers, not to mention that eidetic memory of his. there was one thing that spencer was just fucking dumb at, and it was your shameless flirting at him.

like it annoyed you how clueless he was. you’d bring him coffee in the mornings with hearts drawn on it, fall asleep on his shoulder on the jet rides back, even complimenting his outfit or looks which made him flustered, but still nothing. your harbored crush seemed to stay just that, a crush. and while you’d hope he would get the hint he just hasn’t.

so you pull out your phone to text your friend. 

“barry’s at 9?”

“oh my god FINALLY. i’m there i'll pick you up at 8:30.”

you grin to yourself, this was good. you needed to get out and unwind for once.

you drive home quickly to hop in the shower before your friend comes to get you. throwing on a silk slip dress as your outfit of choice, you slipped your heels on and met your friend in the car.

walking into the club, you’re met with the thumping bass of the music playing and the staunch smell of alcohol, sweat, and sex.

it made you think about the last time you got laid, which was a really long time ago. and honestly you wanted to sleep with spencer so bad you hadn’t been making advances elsewhere. but that was going to change tonight, you were determined to have good slutty fun, and hopefully get laid.

your friend grabbed your hand and beelined to the bar, ordering two tequila shots each. once you downed them you moved to the dance floor and started preying for a target. as you’re scanning the room, you notice a familiar looking mop of brown hair standing next to bald headed man. a combo you knew all too well.

-

derek morgan was a player. and before he’s a player, he’s a damn good friend. which was his reasoning for dragging spencer out of his apartment to come out to the club and have fun.

��but i can have fun at home by myself morgan.”

“kid, you need to let loose once in a while. you are young, i’m just helping you take advantage of it.”

-

so now spencer’s at the club (a sentence he still struggles to believe) wearing trousers and navy button down shirt to which morgan had popped the top buttons open because ‘it gives the ladies a sneak peek’. he just rolled his eyes and went with it. he’s nursing a shirley temple at the bar, perusing the environment when he comes across a pair of eyes he knows like the back of his hand.

when you recognize the amber eyes you couldn’t believe your luck. of course, on the one night you’d decided to explore other options he shows up in the least expected place for him to be. so much for getting over him, you think. shyly raising your hand to wave, spencer returns the gesture. morgan takes note, “who are you waving t- oh, pretty girl is here huh pretty boy?” he nudges him.

a blush raises on his face. spencer thought you were attractive, like really attractive. you were a great addition to the bau and he admired your work ethic a lot, the day you walked into the bullpen wearing a fitted pantsuit had his own pants growing real tight. he still remembers when you introduced yourself and he couldn’t even get up without exposing himself. you thankfully didn’t think it was weird, and spencer was relieved when it was finally time to go home. he’d be lying if he said he didn’t have nights where he wished you were the one finishing him off and not his rough hands. he didn’t think you’d like someone like him, and took all of your ‘advances’ as morgan calls them, as acts of kindness.

morgan laughs as he watches spencer’s iq deteriorate to below 50 staring at you, “do you what you gotta do man. but you better be going home with someone tonight okay?”

spencer nods and nurses his drink a bit and looks back to morgan to realize he’s already off dancing with some girls in the corner. damn.

after your distanced encounter with spencer, you decide it’s time to move on and have some fun on your own. you couldn’t be hung up on him anymore, at least not tonight. tonight was for bad decisions.

good thing bad decision walked up to you asking to dance, whatshisname leads you to the dance floor and puts his hands on your hips, swaying to the beats of t-pain and pitbull.

you didn’t know, but spencer was watching every move you made. he watched you get led to the dance floor, the way he placed his hands right on your ass and squeezed, and how he turned you around so you were dancing on his front with your back. he gripped his glass so tight the bartender had to tell him he’d have to pay if it breaks.

he gets it, you’re attractive. this is the kind of thing that happens to people who look like you. who wouldn’t want you? but then he watched it happen a second time. and a third. and a fourth and fifth, till he just stopped counting at nine for his sanity.

spencer was not used to the green monster taking over him, but oh god was he fucking seething with jealousy.

you realized spencer was watching you by whatshisname number five. he hadn’t moved from his spot and he was constantly staring in your direction. deciding to do a little experiment, you played up your dancing a lot more, acting more flirtatious, dragging the guy’s hands further down, and letting out open mouthed moans that you knew spencer couldn’t hear but could definitely see. you watched as his jaw shifted and his knuckles turned white as you danced with each guy, realizing the growing effect that you now had on him.

by whatshisname number nine, you casted your hook. making sure to face spencer and meet his eyes, you watched as they darkened when he realized you were looking right at him. spencer might’ve brushed it off as a coincidence, but then you winked at him. and he realized what you were doing—you were taunting him, and fuck was it working for him. the bulge in his pants grew uncomfortable that he had to stand up to not draw so much attention to it under the bar lights. 

you watched him stand up and adjust himself and you threw your line. when he looked back up at you, you made a come here motion with your index finger and a bite of your lip. spencer’s eyes darkened impossibly more, he paid for his tab and strode over to you.

sinker.

he pulled you from the man behind you, who muttered a ‘what the fuck’ and moved away. spencer pulled you flush to his chest and with a low voice in the crest of your ear he whispered, “what do you think you’re doing?”

“i don’t think i know what you’re talking about dr. reid, could you explain it to me?”

spencer tightens his hold on you and ghosts over your ear once more, “this is a dangerous game you’re playing, sweetheart.”

“a game you joined the second you walked over here.”

he looked at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes, and matched the small smirk on your lips. game on.

the song changed to something with a more sultry beat, and you used the opportunity to wrap your arms around his neck and let his hands guide your hips to the music. while he wasn’t much of a dancer, he could definitely keep a beat. it didn’t prove to be so difficult when your chest was pushing up on his own that he was just waiting for them to spill out. he realized he could feel your hardened nipples through your slip, the nubs rubbing friction through the fabric of their clothes. he moaned internally while he gripped your hips to pull you even closer. it was clear spencer seemed to be getting comfortable with moving your body and holding you close, but you couldn’t let that happen.

before the second chorus you turn around in his arms so your back is pressed up against his front, and you start dancing on him.

spencer’s taken by surprise, something you felt when his hands faltered the confident rhythm it kept up, and while he watched you dance just like this with all those guys it’s like his mind is blank now.

you recognize the song playing, collide by justine skye & tyga, and use the sultry beat to your advantage. you move your ass hard on his front, feeling his length pressed between your cheeks. you gesture for him to lean his head down and he lets out a low groan as you whisper in his ear, “all that for me?”.

a primal instinct starts to take over spencer’s being, and he grips your hips to meet his rutting from behind. spencer was desperate for any friction that could soothe the growing ache in his pants. you grinned as you felt take what he needed from you. it was quickly wiped off your face when you felt his hands inching dangerously close to where you really wanted him.  you place your hands on his with surprise and look at him, “what are you doing?”

“i don’t think i know what you’re talking about, sweetheart,” he threw back at you, “but if there’s something you’d like me to do, i’m all ears.” spencer grazes his fingers under the hem of your dress, toying with the lace band of your panties and slipping his fingers below it to stroke your inner thighs.

fuck. he turned it on you so fast it almost gave you whiplash. the provocative dancing was something you could handle, hell everyone on that dance floor was doing the same thing as you both. what you weren’t sure you could handle was him about to touch you in a public space. but, your body betrayed you as it turned you on to another plane. you look up at him with lust filled eyes and let out a breathy moan of his name. spencer collapses internally and stands his ground, “if you want something, beg me.”

spencer thinks he’s won the upper hand, and he’s feeling so smug behind you. he still thinks he has the upper hand until you reach down and place his middle and index finger in your mouth, circling your tongue around the digits.

“touch me.” you moan out, releasing his fingers.

spencer is dumbfounded how he’s the one about to burst out his pants when he made you beg for him. it should make him feel embarrassed at how close he was, but he couldn’t find it in him to care. not when you in his arms pleading him to do something. you sounded so pretty, and who was he to deny a pretty thing like you?

his fingers continue their journey down, outlining the lace trim resting on your thighs. he hooks his fingers on the fabric to pull it aside and slips into you, going at an aching pace to gather the wetness and groaning out, “jesus, you’re so wet, was this all for me? you needed my attention that bad, baby?”

you whimper and grip his hand even tighter because you’re not sure if your legs are holding out any longer. it’s all so overwhelming—having his hands down your panties in the middle of the dance floor, the lewdity of the noises in your ear, the hard length pressing desperately on your ass. this is all you’ve ever wanted from him, to want you. and now it’s happening, and your brain can’t fire the neurons fast enough to process the moment. instead your body responded with your skin heating up with anticipation, heart beating out as much adrenaline to keep up. the daze is getting foggier by the second as he trails his fingers up and down your slit, spreading the wetness and circling your clit on the way up. and you think you’re about to get accustomed to the pace he’s set, when he delves between your folds and you moan out loud so abruptly that the nearby patrons looked around wondering where it came from.

you can feel spencer’s shit eating grin behind you as he moves his head down to leave love bites on your neck. if he can feel your bluff dissipating, he’s not saying anything. his fingers set a painfully slow rhythm, and you grind down trying to get any more friction to reach your peak. he’s hitting you in all the right spots that make you see the stars and beyond, leaning your head back on his chest as you barrel towards your climax. you feel yourself mere seconds away from reaching, and spencer suddenly pulls his fingers out, making you whine out in protest, “wh- what are you doing?”

spencer grabs your wrist and starts dragging you through the sweaty bodies surrounding you, tightening his grip with a small smirk as he passes a few of the guys you were dancing with earlier. suckers.

he pushes the doors open with a force and while the cool air is attempting to return your body to homeostasis, the anticipation of where he’s going overtakes you, “spence, where are we going wh-“ you cut off your sentence with a gasp as he handles you flush to the door of his car. then it’s just silence for a few moments. no loud bass or weird dudes, just the two of you. the only sound that can be heard are your breaths competing for prominence. you look up at him and focus on the details of his face illuminated by the moonlight, trying to read his expression. his honeyed eyes have fully darkened to a lustful hickory, and suddenly you felt like a gazelle being preyed on by a lion.

he reaches into his pocket and unlocks the car with a soft beep. it’s the focused eyes on you that drive you to open the door, but it’s the subtle silent nod of his head towards the car that makes you move inside waiting for him to join you. he climbs in after you, shutting the door and locking it.

spencer moves to the middle seat and allows his legs to spread open, he taps his thighs and faintly says, “come here.”

you shuffle closer and swing your legs over him, your dress rising up a little as you fully sit on his clothed crotch. and now you realize the corporeality of the moment. it’s like, really real now. all this time pining after the boy genius with no luck and now he’s got you in the backseat of his car and your panties crooked, waiting for you to move. the bravado you wore and so tightly held onto for a majority of the night comes crashing down like a shattered vase, and you’re not sure if you have any more in you to salvage the pieces. you may be a profiler, but try as you might you are not a mind reader, yet you so desperately want to know what he’s thinking. is it too much to ask what this means? will it overwhelm him to say you’ve dreamt about this moment for many nights, and how those dreams went on till the early morning when he’d stay and brush your hair back with a temple kiss. the whispers of sweet nothings sticking to you like honey as you got ready for the day. are these questions you even want to know the answer to?

you may not be a mind reader, but he is dr. spencer reid, who noticed your demeanor change after too long of a silence.

“hey,” he holds your chin delicately to your eyes, “it’s okay if you want to stop, i’m sorry for tak-“

it’s your turn to cut him off, “no! no i, i still want this, i just,” you falter.

“just what, baby?” he coos softly.

it makes tears well up in your eyes, you hope he can’t see them, “i’ve just wanted this for so long, and it’s probably embarrassing that i’m admitting this now of all times, but i don’t know if i can handle this meaning more to me than it does to you.” you confess quietly.

spencer listens to your admission and gingerly resecures his arm behind you, a position he thinks is starting to become second nature. he rubs soft shapes into the small of your back, “what makes you think that?”

“because i basically threw myself at you tonight, and it seems to be the first time you noticed me.” you say halfheartedly. 

“you think i don’t notice you?” he whispers, leaning in to leave soft kisses in the crook of your neck. spencer is dumbfounded, confused at how you reached such a conclusion. but as a man of science, he feels there’s only one way to prove himself. he breathes your name out, “can i show you how much i notice you? please?”

you nod, at least you could commit this moment to memory if it was all you’d have left of him. he presses his lips to yours for the first time that night, your breath faltering as he becomes more feverous with his attacks. slotting his tongue with yours, your hands move up to his silky hair to take purchase in. he lets out a groan as he pulls back from you, “i need to taste you.”

he guides your body to lean back on the center console, the only way his tall figure would be able to accommodate this position. your legs are still split on either side of his legs, using your hands to prop yourself up to watch his movements. he hooks his fingers on the sides of your panties and slowly slides them down, moaning at the way your slick causes resistance as he pulls them off your legs. wrapping his arms under your thighs to lift you up to face level, he places small kisses on your inner thighs as he makes his way to your core. he places a final kiss on your center before licking a long stripe up to your clit. moaning out wantonly, he continues his ministrations and kitten licks all over you, circling back up to your clit after each round.

“spence..” you whine out. he moves his focus to your clit, circling and sucking till you’re squirming in his arms so much has to grip your thighs. your hands are fussing through his hair, gripping and pulling to find something to ground you. spencer then slips his fingers into your core for the second time tonight, and you lose it.

he’s pumping his fingers in and out, that all you can hear is the squelching noises of your cunt. adding another one, you’re unable to stay still anymore, as if you were before.

“oh my fuck, spencer. i’m gonna cu-, cum. please don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop.” you moan out filthy.

spencer unlatches his mouth for a moment, “come for me, baby.”

your orgasm crashes down on you like a wave breaking on the shore. it’s all consuming, leaving you shaking and breathless and he lifts his head from between your legs and you see his chin glistening with you in the moonlight. the sight itself is so pornographic, you can’t help but shuffle back onto his lap to crash your lips back to his, tasting yourself on his tongue. he tangles his hands in your hair as you move yours between you both, unzipping his trousers to palm him through his boxers.

he breakily moans in your ear as you slowly pull back the band to take him out. the sight takes you by surprise, you knew he was big, you felt it on your ass while you were dancing. but seeing how it compared to your hand had you bulging your eyes.

“you’re so big,” you whisper. how the hell was that fitting inside of you?

spencer the mind reader places his hand on top of yours as you lazily stroke him, “we’ll go slow, don’t worry.” he can’t help but feel his ego inflate to the skies, he can’t remember the last time he had someone look intimidated by him.

nodding faintly, you gather the spit in your mouth and let it fall between you both to land on the flushed pink tip. you spread it up and down his length, setting a slow pace that had him moaning expletives in your ear.

“oh-, ohhh, fuck baby. you’re so good at that holy shit,” he says trying to hold himself together. you give him a few more pumps before lifting your hips up to guide him inside you. you move his tip to your entrance, rubbing it teasingly before spencer places his hands on your sides to stabilize you, and slowly sink you down onto him.

the second his tip pushes past your folds, you both moan out in harmony. placing your hands on his shoulders you leverage yourself to sink down further inch by inch, until your core is flush with the base of his thighs.

spencer is a man of many words, maybe too many. but right now the only word he can remember is your name as he watched you take his length whole inch by inch slowly losing any restraint he had left. the pressure his cock had inside of you was heavenly. you’d never felt so full, and you could tell he was trying so hard to stay still as you adjusted above him.

when you bottom out spencer throws his head back against the seat, “oh that’s it, good girl,” you clenched around him. “you okay?”

you nod in response, ignoring the way the term of endearment sent flutters to your heart, and attempt an experimental rock of your hips, causing spencer’s head to whip up and meet your lust blown eyes with his own. he adjusts his hands on the sides of your thighs and starts helping you move up and down on his length, setting a brutally slow pace.

you rest your head and moan into the crook of his neck as he continues his movements, “spencer, please, more, i can take it.”

he still can’t believe what’s happening right now, all those days he spent thinking about you in the bullpen, at home, everywhere really, and here you were begging on top of him to fuck you good.

“you still think i don’t notice you?” he says into your ear, “i have dreamt about what you’d look like bouncing on my cock, and you are blowing any idea i had out of the water.”

you whimper as he continues, “and when i’m not thinking about ruining you, i am in awe at how you walk through life. you bring so much joy everywhere you go, it’s a blessing to be able to experience you.” he says through shaky breaths.

the praise goes straight to core, with some traveling to your heart again, and you’re not sure how much longer you can hold on before you unravel physically and emotionally.

his hands are guiding you up and down at a harder pace now, “so,” thrust. “you still think,” thrust, “i don’t notice you?” he thrusts into you once more and holds you down, making sure you’re looking directly at him, “it was never an option to brush past you, you are everything to me. i didn’t know how to show that without overwhelming you. i’m sorry.”

tears well up in your eyes again, spencer notices this time and presses a small kiss on your forehead. all your senses feel like they’re in overdrive, unable to comprehend anything right now. your skin feels like it’s on fire as he rolls your hips faster to meet his ruts.

“spence, i- i’m so close.” you whine desperately. 

he slips his hand between you both to rub your clit, “i know baby, i’ve got you. let go for me.”

his words were enough to break the dam, your second climax of the night hurling towards you. the white hot feeling overtook your whole body, shaking and clenching above him. your grip on him was threateningly vicious, probably leaving deep crescent marks in the nape of his shoulders. you wish the euphoria would last forever if it meant having spencer like this. as you came down from your high, the two of you were still moving together, slowly rocking your hips to meet each other. once you were grounded again, you pushed through the sensitivity in your core to rise up on his length, just barely leaving the tip in before you slid back down fast and hard, now focusing on spencer reaching his peak.

“oh jesus, fuck.” spencer moaned out brokenly.

“come on spence you can do it,” you taunted as you clenched down, “come inside me, make a mess of me please.” a rush of confidence flowed through as you whispered into his ear, and spencer held your hips to help you bounce faster on him.

spencer let out a loud groan as you felt the hot spurts coat your insides, he was leaving matching crescent marks on the sides of your hips as the ones on his shoulders, making sure all of him was left in you. feeling him soften inside, you remained on his lap with him sheathed in you. you both are breathing heavily, leaning back to hopefully give you both some relief from the sex filled air. looking around the car you realize that all the windows are fogged up and let out a tiny giggle.

“what’s so funny?” he looks up at you slightly amused and very out of breath.

“no it’s just, the windows are such a dead giveaway for what we just did in here.” 

“eh, i don’t really care what people think.”

“gasp, dr. reid wants to let the world know he has car sex with random girls?”

he leans in to bite your neck playfully, “random? did nothing i said during all that register for you?”

you yelp and attempt to play dumb, “actually i don’t remember a word, you might have to jog my memory. maybe even recreate the circumstances to help with cementing it. i read about situational memorization where certain scenarios are easily remembered when there’s a big event to anchor it to.”

he swears he could’ve melted on the spot at you explaining a concept you’d read about to him, “careful sweetheart, calling it a big event might inflate my ego a little too high.”

“i mean, i can tell it worked,” you tease as you feel him harden inside of you again, “so tell me genius, how many times does a scenario have to happen for me to remember the information?”

“i guess we’ll have to find out, don’t we?”

[hcsiqs]

| show a little loving

• pairing: paige bueckers x fem!reader

• summary: drunk paige being clingy (that one ice live iykyk)

• warnings: alcohol use

• bc drunk paige is so cute and clingy 😭

Paige was walking around the bar holding Ice’s phone that was live on TikTok. She was going around showing different people until she got to you. She wrapped her right arm around your neck and shoved the phone in your face. “We got the best player in the nation right here!” she smiled, as she shoved her way into the camera’s view too, by resting her chin on your shoulder.

“Oh hi guys!” you smiled, looking up from your phone and into the camera. You moved your face a little bit closer so you could see the comments coming in, most of them talking about Paige’s looks or saying hi back to you. “Guys we have to be up at 8 am tomorrow!” you complained, letting out a sigh as Paige wrapped her arm more your neck to pull you closer to her.

And then the song Draco by Future started playing through the speakers loudly and you could see the blondes face light up as she started singing the lyrics loudly. You let out a small laugh before joining her in on her horrible singing.

She then sat Ice’s phone down on your drink before pulling her own phone out and going to SnapChat to record the both of you singing the song. As you two sang, Paige started to nuzzle her head into your neck, seemingly forgetting that it wasn’t only her phone that was out, but also Ice’s that had a little over a hundred viewers on it.

“Ok P, that’s enough live for you,” you laughed as you grabbed Ice’s phone and handed it back over to the girl. And with that Paige took the opportunity to wrap both of her arms safety around you, pulling your back to her chest as she rested her chin on top of your head. “You’re gonna regret drinking in the morning,” you told her, shaking your head softly.

“I’ll be fine,” she brushed it off, but you knew Paige very well, that she would in-fact, not be fine in the morning.

“It’s your funeral,” you responded, sipping on your Shirley Temple.

“Ooo, let me try,” Paige stuck out her hand to grab your drink, which you quickly moved out of her reach. “Nuh-uh. You need water,” you turned around in the barstool to look up at her.

“Ion want water!” she complained, dragging out the end of her sentence, sounding like a little kid.

“Paige,” your voice was stern as you looked up at her. Her blue eyes glazed due to the alcohol in her system, her hair messy from her dancing around stupidly with KK, and the way her hands had never left your body, even though you were turned facing her.

Paige was always a touchy person, constantly giving hugs and always brushing her hand against yours, but when she was drunk it was something different.

A something different that had your heart beater faster, that it was noticeable to yourself. The way she couldn’t be away from you for more than two minutes at a time, and when she was around you she wouldn’t let you out of her sight.

And the way she had her hands resting on your thighs as she stood between your legs made it all the much harder to not just give in to her every want.

“Drink up,” you handed her your water, which she reluctantly drank. And once she was done you sat the water down on the table and then handed her the Dirty Shirley.

Her eyes instantly brightened as her lips went around the straw and she began sipping on the drink. “Ok don’t drink it all!” you laughed, pulling it away from her mouth.

“So good though,” her words slurred slightly as she looked down at you sitting.

“How bout I go order you one then? Hm? How’s that sound?” you asked, standing up from your seat, her body now only inches away. She placed her hands on your lower back, as your hand came up to wrap around her neck.

“Sounds good,” she smiled, squeezing your waist gently before you walked over to the bar and got her one of her own.

What the two of you hadn’t realized is that Ice had caught the moment on camera. And it most definitely looked a little incriminating to the both of you. With Paige’s hand naturally resting so low on your back and your arm draped around her neck, to anyone it would appear the two of you are together. But, right now the two of you were blissfully unaware of it.

“One Dirty Shirley,” you announced to the girl as you handed her the drink, her arm falling right back to where they had been planted before.

“Thank you,” she smiled, taking a sip of the drink.

allies corner.

and if i told you i made this draft in may…

also maybe a part 2 where they find out that like ice caught them on live or something who knows

[fridayiminlovemp3]

“so girl math is when you preload ur starbucks app so then all the drinks are free!” “hey girlies! so today i’m gonna explain the war on drugs for the girls✨ basically nixon is like regina george and” “when you have a boyfriend so now you’re a passenger princess in your own car lolll” “for my girl dinner im going to have 3 crackers a rice cake and a handful of almonds” “omg i just found the perfect push up bra for my neurospicy girlies” “i just returned these leggings and i got money into my account! so i’m using girl math to trick myself into thinking i made money!” “day in my life as a stay at home girlfriend i wake up at 5 am and make jakey boo his breakfast, he’s super upsety rn so i’m gonna make him a mickey mouse pancake” “i miss the days when women weren’t allowed to go to school😭😭 math is sooo hard i wish i didn’t have rights” “i just found the perfect lazy girl job for all of my girlies who don’t wanna work and just want to wear cute outfits and shop online in the office” “hi guys so here’s my 200 dollar y2k bimbo barbie core shein haul” “so this is my super cute subway shirt!! i wear a big shirt so that i don’t look like a slut on the train and get assaulted! because everyone knows that you only get raped if you’re wearing a short dress” “hi watertok! today i’m gonna be making my zero calorie shirley temple water recipe” “what i made my 5 kids for breakfast as a single 23 year old boy mom” “i dropped out of grade 11 because my boyfriend broke up with me and i wanted to get back at him by ruining my life” “hi girlies here’s the perfect shirt to wear at the bar if you want men to buy free drinks for you! don’t worry these drinks are actually free and they expect nothing back from you in return!!” “hi guys so i’m gonna be selling my pink car and buying a black one instead because if you have a girly looking car people are gonna know your a girl and you’re gonna get sex trafficked” “i’m just a 29 year old teenage girl!” “yeah my boyfriend doesn’t know how to wash dishes but at least i have a man🤣🤣 i’d rather die then be single!!!! i’m so happy i get to raise my boyfriend like he’s my son” “when your parents are mad at you for hitting a lamp post and ruining your car but you’re literally just a girl!” “here’s 5 simple trips to attract a high value man” “why i spend 10k on preventive botox as a 21 year old! story time!”

[thealternateuniverse]

At who's the best at

Paige Bueckers x Fem reader

Warnings: Slowburn (?), curses, sexual inunendos

A/N: I couldn't think of a title 😭 I am so sorry. Other characters are from my imagination, they are not related to NCAA at all. Had to get this ideas out of my head.

Y/N was panting, hands on her knees after doing laps across the court. Today is hell, Geno is not taking it easy on them, the training is tougher compared to the previous months as their team is advancing to Elite 8. She thanked the cardio gods for being on her favor today or she will pass out. Taking one last deep breath, she put her both hands on her waist and walked towards the three point shot perimeter. Qadence pats her on the back while she is dribbling for a three point shot.

"Take it easy babe." She nodded at Qadence before shooting the ball. Another miss.

"Miller!" Geno motioned to come to him. Y/N sighed and jog towards her coach's direction.

"Kid, do you see this?" Geno handed her his clipboaard with her stats on it.

"This is from the last game against Duke."

Y/N scanned her stats, and it is much better progress compared to their match against Sycaruse and Jackson State.

"Yeah and it will get more better if you can hoop today. What the hell is wrong Miller? Shade and Edwards blocked you three times today. You don't get blocked thrice based on these stats. What's wrong kid?"

Y/N didn't respond and remain silent. It shows in the practice that she is preoccupied today.

"Nothing Geno, it's just......" she trailed off thinking of what she should say.

"I'll do better. I'll make sure to clear my mind before practice so I can focus." Y/N continued, bowing her head slightly. She had to prove to UConn women's basketball team that they will not regret accepting her back when she transferred here during her 2nd year. But Geno doesn't seem to be convinced of her answer.

"Alright. I am expecting much better results in our next practice. We can't make excuses once USC had our asses in our match. Go take a swim or a run in your neighborhood or whatever later, you're not yourself today and I don't want to see you like a vegetable during practice."

Y/N nodded and Geno gave her an encouraging pat on the back before letting her go back to practice. It made her feel a little better but her day is still shitty.

----

Y/N's phone keeps vibrating, this is the umpteenth time her parents called her today. She doesn't want to answer it, it will be divorce probably. It already threw her game off today and she doesn't want to ruin her day more by answering it.

Mum:

talk to me hun, please

Hun, we are sorry, I know this will be hard for you.

Do you hate us?

I'm sorry, love. It's not working anymore between me and your dad.

Dad:

Peanut, please answer your phone.

I'm sorry.

We wanted to tell you for a long time.

---

Y/N turned off her phone. With a deep sigh, she ate her tacos. She's got a lot on her plate now, her studies, her upcoming match, and now her parents divorce. She wanted to take a break.

"Boo, you okay? You're preocuppied the whole day." KK finally asked. Her teammates have been giving each other knowing looks and tiptoeing around her all day. They are not used to her being silent. She went out with them tonight hoping it will take off some things in her mind.

"I'm fine girl. Just woke up on the wrong side of the bad today." She smiled at KK. She's not ready to talk yet not until she's able to come to terms with her family.

"You suck, Miller. Paige is getting full of herself today and you're too preoccupied to humble her."

Paige almost choked on her shirley temple, she took a napkin and wiped her mouth.

"Me? Full of myself? Come on Aubs." Paige scoffs.

"Miller just realized today I don't need humbling, I'm actually good." Paige raised her eyebrows playfully followed by their teammates violent reactions.

Y/N grinned. She had to thank Paige for diverting their teammates from pressing on what's going on with her. The subject of being the best shooter between her or Paige became a daily banter. Paige was not unwelcoming when Y/N transferred in UConn but her competitive ass made sure to show why she was here first instead of Y/N. Y/N admits that Paige is actually better than her and the best all rounder, her transferring here seemed challenged the latter on who's best at what. She doesn't know why Paige thinks she has competition when she is actually the best. She likes to get on Paiges nerves so she gets along with Paige's imaginary contest.

"Get outta here Bueckers, I can do what you did earlier even with a hangover" Y/N said, giving Paige a sheepish grin. Paige made 43 consecutive 3 point shots, it got into her head today without Y/N beating it. It always annoy Paige when Y/N's record is close or beat hers.

"Oi, enough you two." Azzi stopped them before it could start to bickering. Y/N raised both her hands in surrender. She took a sip of her margaritas while still giving Paige a cocky grin. Now the latter looks annoyed.

They continued having fun, dancing and drinking. Y/N didn't move that much from her seat, she's tired and the margarita must've probabaly hit already.

"I'm just gonna go to the restroom." She excused herself. Feeling dizzy Y/n groaned, guess she will have that hangover tomorrow.

She decided to turn on her phone and was still bombarded with texts from her parents. Her mum's name popped on the screen and decided to answer it finally.

"Honey, I'm glad you answered. I've been calling all day." Her mom sounded worried on the other line.

"Sorry mum. Busy."

Her mother sighed. Y/N doesn't exactly know what to say, she is still processing that her parents will have a divorce. Out of 23 damn years, they just decided now that they don't need each other?

"Honey I.... I am so sorry. If you could come home soon we could have a talk, with your dad and I."

Y/N rolled her eyes.

"I am not going home, mom. California is 2000 miles away, I have an upcoming game in 2 weeks, and I am busy for my finals. What's the point? Your going to sell the house anyway now that you are getting divorce."

She didn't mean to sound mad over the phone, but she is really upset.

"I will call you when I am ready to talk to you both. If you two want a divorce, fine, but give me time to process that my parents don't need each other anymore after 23 damn years."

She didn't wait for her mother's response and hang up.

------

Paige went back to their booth joined by a tipsy Nika after their teammates are gone to god knows where. Dancing or probably making out with someone.

"Hey P, have fun! You're awfully behave tonight. Loosen up, it's weekend tomorrow."

Nika nudged her and throw an arm over her shoulder.

"I'm good, Ma. I don't want hangover tomorrow. Besides, someone has to stay sober to make sure you all get home safely."

Nika scoffed, rolling her eyes at her teammate. It's their last free night before Geno will give them total hell in preparation against their match with USC.

"You're boring me P. I'll go join the others and have fun being miserable here. Have you se---" Nika wasn't able to finish her sentence when a commotion started in the middle of the bar. Recognizing the 6 foot tall asses of their teammates in the scuffle, the two ran towards their direction.

"What in the fuck happened?" Nika felt her slight tipsiness gone, helping KK reach Ayanna who's ready to take a swing to an athlete from Yale. The bouncers are trying to separate them before it ends up to a total brawl. Paige scanned where the others are and her eyes landed on Y/N, her sleeves are up, Aubrey blocking her from punching another Yale athlete.

"You don't talk shit here, dawg. Go back to New Haven and fuck your slutty girlfriend!"

Paige grabbed Y/N by the waist and dragged her out of the scene. For someone who is always cool and at her composure, she was surprised that Miller can trash talk.

"Calm down, Miller. You don't get to injure that million dollar hands." With Azzi trailing behind, she brought Y/N outside and pinned her on the wall to calm her down. She looks disheveled, some of her locks escaped from her ponytail, her face is red, her sleeves are uneven and she is reeking of alcohol. What a total mess.

"What in the world was that Y/N, I know you guys don't start fights but you all are better than this. Gosh, how many drinks did you have? You are reeking of alcohol!" Azzi said frustrated.

Y/N scoffs, wiping some sweat on her forehead. Paige couldn't agree more with Azzi. They don't start fights, Y/N never looses her cool even during their banters at who is best, intense matches and bad calls from ref. Paige wonders what made her so worked up that she almost punch someone today.

"Nah, I was cool Az. I took shots from everyone, sorry I lost count."

The 2 of them grimaced. They check Y/N if she had any injuries, Geno will kill them if they are scathed and once he hears about this. Azzi wonders as to why Yale women's basketball are in Storrs. That's like an hour drive just for a night's drink.

"God you are drunk and you can take a fight." Paige said amused. She never saw Y/N got drunk because she never was.

"Oh yeah Bueckers, wanna try? Let's take it here outside." Y/N stood straight, her face annoyed.

Well that was hot. Paige thought. She raised her hands in surrender before Y/N gets totally pissed. Y/N haven't landed a punch but it might be on Paige if she triggers the latter. Azzi gave her a scolding look.

"Chill, Ma. T'was a compliment."

Y/N rolled her eyes and leaned against the wall again. She's starting to feel hazy.

"What did they do anyway?" Azzi asked.

"Douchebag's girlfriend was offering me a drink, I declined. She thought I want to fuck her slutty girlfriend and proceeds to call us defects, the others heard it, we didn't mind until she pushed Aaliyah."

Paige clenched her jaw and Azzi rubs her temple. Half of the team suffered injury in the past year. Paige wished she hadn't grabbed Y/N and let her land her fist first before fleeing from the scene, it was uncalled for. Drunken Miller surprised them tonight, they didn't know that her mouth can talk.

"That's it, we are all getting home. I'm gonna go get the others." Azzi left them outside.

"Yeah Azzi and tell that cunt to fuck her girlfriend properly."

Paige shook her head. Y/N is definitely the highlight of tonight's event.

"What got you so worked up today, Miller? You almost took it out on someone."

KK was right, Y/N was preoccupied. She didn't have any baskets during practice. Paige had 29 3 points in a row today, usually Y/N comes close or even beat her. It's unusual for someone who plays ball since 5th grade, she just did laps all day.

Y/N groans. "I'll talk about it tomorrow when I'm sober. can you take me home please? Paige."

Paige, licked her lips and pretends to think about it. She's gonna do it anyway.

"I never thought you were into girls." Paige blurted out. She mentally slapped herself right after. Her intrusive thoughts won.

"You guys never asked. I never said I was into boys either. So annoying."

For some reason, Paige couldn't keep her smile off. She was grinning like and idiot. Y/N noticed and she rolled her eyes, Paige looks stupid.

"You look like an idiot Bueckers."

"Maybe I am."

She twirls her car keys and they started to walk where she parked her car. She's behind Y/N who's trying to keep a straight-face and herself from stumbling.

Azzi and KK following them, KK still heated from the commotion earlier and keeps trash talking. Azzi is trying to cover her mouth for being loud. KK, Azzi, Nika and Y/N rode with Paige. The others were at Aaliyah's car since they live together in the same apartment. Paige shook her head, they are all dead on Monday.

-------

Y/N woke up, her head pounding and throat dry. She groaned when she tried to get up. She knew immediately it was bad last night to have a hangover like this, she rarely gets drunk and when she does, she has it bad. She jolted up when realizes that this is not her room. The bed sheet is purple, there are Miami Heat posters everywhere and the trophies are too many to be hers. Not until she saw the familiar number 5 jersey hanging on the wall.

"Fuck, what did I do last night." She whispered to herself. This must be Paige's room. She tries recalling the events of last night and vaguely remembers the Yale athlete talking shit. She almost got involved in a brawl.

Y/N got up from bed only to realize that she is wearing Paige's clothes, it's one of her old team USA shirts, nothing else and her boxers. It's already 2 in the afternoon, she could hear the ruckus outside Paige's room and KK's rambunctious laugh.

She opened the door and was greeted by the chaos of her teammates.

Y/N winced when the pounding of her head hits again. She sat down on one of the bean bags and leaned her head back trying to ease the headache. In an instant, Paige handed her a bottle of water and a tylenol. She gave Paige what is this for ? look.

"Your hangover, duh."

"Ya'll our sleeping beauty is awake." KK sat beside her but she was waiving where Ice was. Ice was doing live on the corner, and she didn't realize that where she is is being captured. Gosh she looks horrible.

"Guys, they wanna know something. You remember we did a tiktok of who among in the team you don't want your kid to date..... They want the opposite."

Qadence was quick to shout "Aaliyah" followed by KK's "Y/N"

"Yeah, I'll go with Y/N too." Ice agreed

"Y/N will throw hands, I'll bet on her too." Aubrey added.

" 'bout you, Paige?"

The team groaned when Paige showed her "rizz hands."

"Will we go further? I'll let my kid date myself." The team erupted in disagreement. Nika throws a pillow towards Paige's direction. "Dream on Bueckers!" Y/N shakes her head too.

Paige is a gender bender, the amount of fans she has be it a boy or a girl is insane. She may look like a fuck-boy type but she'll be a good girlfriend, the question though is, can they take her superstar life?

"Y/N, they wanted to know who you want your kid to date." Ice turned towards her. Y/N straightened her back a little, enough only to face Ice.

"No one, you guys loves ball more than relationships." Everyone burst in laughter.

"You heard our homie? We're not playboys/playgirls, basketball is life." Ice said in live while giving a thumbs up.

"Nawww! she's just playing safe!" KK shouted.

" Y/N is so fine, I think I'll start watching live " Ice reading through comments.

Y/N suddenly felt conscious. She moved where the camera can't see her so she can deal with what's left of her hangover.

" Does Y/N have a boyfriend or what? Saw her in Stanford before and what the hell is she doing on the court, go model in a runway or something--- Yo! Someone said you should model Y/N!" KK is reading along with Ice now.

Y/N blushed on the compliment(?). She couldn't think of herself as someone who walks on a runway or pose for a magazine aside from playing ball. She's no Cameron Brink who could pass that criteria.

"Maaaaan, they are all whipped to our girly pop. We've been gatekeeping our secret weapon."

Some of her teammates joined KK and Ice in reading the comments.

"Y/N c'mere they want to see you."

Y/N doesn't want to be rude by not saying even a "hi" but she really feels shit right now. She look around the room and her eyes landed on Paige, begging for help.

"Y'all sorry but Miller is not feeling well, you'll get to see her in Gampel soon. Be sure to be there." Paige shouted while throwing an arm around Y/N's shoulder. They are both far from the camera, Y/N waived though from where they are.

"Thank God." Y/N muttered and leaned on Paige's shoulder and she felt her stiffened.

Ice wrapped up her live leaving disappointed viewers to only see a glimpse of Y/N. All of them went back to their chaotic self.

--------

A/N: Please stay tuned for the next part. I think I have a hangover too 🤮. Wrote this when we were at the bar. Feedbacks and suggestions are open.

ALSO..... DOES ANYONE KNOWS WHO DOES THE GIRLS HAIRS DURING THEIR GAMES? DO THEY HAVE A HAIRSTYLIST OR WHAT?? PLEASE HELP A GIRL OUT. 😌

[makethemhoesmad]

sex concept-1

paige bueckers x oc

wc: 1.1k

—

“hey, scar, she’s staring again,” colin nudges, shooting a quick glance over to the seemingly ever-present blonde across the bar. 

“she’s always staring, colin, this isn’t new territory,” i huff, rolling my eyes. it’s not like she actually wants me. no matter that every time i’ve come here in the last two months she’s been here, not taking her eyes away from me.

“scarlett, paige bueckers stares at you from across the bar and you do nothing? i thought we taught you better than this,” odelia scolds. “send her a drink or something! spice it up, you’re boring.”

“send her a drink and do what? go home with her and let her fuck me, then never talk to her again like her other four thousand women? i refuse to be a statistic, odd.” she pouts at the nickname. 

“i know,” colin blurts, snapping his fingers, “tell her you don’t fuck athletes. buy her a drink, and if she sends one back, go over there. when she offers to take you home, say it’s a personal philosophy or something. leave her wanting.” i stare at him in shock, glancing over to odelia who is mirroring my expression.

I sigh. “what do i send her?”

-

after heavy debate and a lot of odelia insisting this is what tiktok told her, i order her a dirty shirley temple, despite my personal distaste for them. we watch her pick it up, then look over at me with recognition as the bartender motions toward who gave her the drink. i see her talking to him, and then watch as he makes his way back over with a shot of something.

“something for you from the blonde young lady over there,” he says, grinning at me. i take it into my hands, shifting so my whole body is in view of the girl across from me. i try my best to sensually pour the shot into my mouth, making a show of licking a drop off the side of the lip.

“scar, she’s coming over here,” odelia says, as she and colin stand up to leave. 

“get it girl,” colin says over his shoulder, smirking.

“hey, pretty, how’re you doing?” i hear behind me, feeling a warm body slip into the now empty seat beside me.

“well, i’m doing better now,” i say, surprised by the smoothness in my voice. i notice her gaze flick from my eyes, to my lips, to my exposed chest, and back up again.

“you got a name?” she asks, moving her hand from the edge of my seat to graze my arm. i shiver, against my will.

“it would be weird if i didn’t, you know? my name’s scarlett, how about you?” i ask, letting it settle for a second in her head that i don’t know who she is, then add, “i’m kidding, paige, i know who you are.” her face lights up a bit, almost like she’s excited i know who she is, like she isn’t the reason some of these freshman girls are at this school.

“so, scarlett, i was thinking about going home, but now i really don’t wanna stop talking with you..” she trails off. i debate asking if she pulls all her girls this way, but hold off.

“yknow, i’d love to, but im just gonna break the news now, i don’t fuck athletes,” i blink up at her, biting my lip in mock concern as i see the cogs turning in her head.

“we could still, like, watch a movie or something?” i suggest, watching her eyes go wide and dart down to my chest again briefly before nodding. 

“yeah, yeah, let’s watch a movie, let’s go!” she nearly squeals, falling out of her cool girl, nonchalant facade. she takes hold of my hand and tugs me out the door and to her car, taking the time to briefly wave at a group of girls that i mildly recognize to be the rest of her team. why she wasn’t sitting with them, i’m not sure. she opens the car door for me like a gentleman, shuts it, then scrambles to the other side and climbs in herself. she fills the car ride with mindless chatter that im sure i respond to, but don’t remember because i’m trying to think of ways not to fuck her tonight. i barely notice when we pull in, and only start to pay attention again when she asks me what movie to put on. 

“we could watch a romance?” i suggest. “like 10 things i hate about you! that’s my favorite ever,” i gush, bouncing a bit to let her eyes drift back down to my chest.

“never seen that one, but yeah, im down,” she answers, sitting down on the couch and patting the spot next to her. i sit down and scoot closer than i should for someone who already claimed wasn’t going to fuck her. i resist against leaning on her, until my head starts to droop from exhaustion. i calculate my options, letting my head drop onto her shoulder. i hear her heart speed up, then feel her lift an arm around me and tug me closer. 

“paigey, i’m a little tired,” i say, slipping a little extra whine in my voice as i bite my lip and look up and her, eyes big. the effect must work, because i watch her pupils go dark as she glances at my lips.

“wanna go to bed?” she offers, sitting up a bit.

“well, i can go home if it’s an inconvenience..” i leave the end of the sentence open. she won’t tell me to go home, but she’ll try harder to get me to stay now.

“no, no, stay here,” she says, too enthusiastically. i grin, letting her pick me up off of the couch and carry us to what must be her room. she sets me down on her purple comforter, and looks at me quizzically.

“you’re really gonna sleep in that, ma?” she’s not wrong. it would be a much more comfortable sleeping experience in a pair of sweats that this tight, cheap dress.

“well, it’s not like i have another option, and like i already said, we’re not fucking, so i’m not stripping.” 

she steps into her closet, tossing me a pair of pajama pants that will most likely be too long, and a t shirt. i throw the top back.

“tits out for sleep or something?” she asks, waggling her eyebrows. i shake my head, swiftly turning to slip off my dress and into the pants, leaving on my bra.

“prefer to sleep in a bra, i get hot.” i say it like it’s obvious, that i would have my tits out and ready for her to not touch. i crawl into her bed and under her covers, letting her tug me into her. against my will, i cuddle closer to her as i drift to sleep.

[knoxoverstreetluvr]

Holiday Parties and Drunk Boyfriends

- - - -

disclaimer: mentions of anderperry and knarlie

- - - -

“P-lease Neil… let me have summoree…” Todd slurs, leaning into his exasperated boyfriend, Neil.

“Honey, I told you no more of those Shirley Temples. Meeksie always puts too much vodka in them.” Neil hums, pressing a kiss to the drunk boy’s head in his arms.

The annual Holiday party was in full swing in the humble abode of the Poets. The party goers mingling in various Christmas and Hanukkah sweaters.

When the Poets went to college, they insisted on three things. Those three things resided on a ripped up sticky note on the fridge. Scrawled 3 years ago by Gerard Pitts as the lowly freshmen they were, it read:

“The Totally Awesome, Epic Guide to being THE Coolest on college grounds:

- Throw epic holiday parties

- Start a garage band

- get Todd Anderson drunk”

The boys had succeeded on the first one, if they do say so themselves. The second one was scratched out by Charlie, who had the idea, but shut it down whenever he heard the screeching voice of Knox Overstreet try and sing. Yet the third one hadn’t happened for 3 years.. til tonight.

“Charles Dalton get over here.” Neil called, ushering his best friend to detach from his and Knox’s heated make-out session in the corner.

“What is it Perry? Could you not see me and my boyfriend having a lovely time over there.” he asked, wiping off the remnants of Knox’s Aquaphor, and taking a peak at the swaying Todd tucked in Neil’s arm.

“Well Char, what did I tell you about letting our dear friend Steven around the alcohol table?” He asked, wiping the alcohol induced sweat off of Todd’s forehead.

“You said not to but you know how Meeksie gets about his Shirley Temples. I didn’t wanna-“ Charlie starts before Neil cuts him off. “Look at my boyfriend Charlie… he’s so out of it.” Neil pouts, kissing Todd on the head.

“Wait you’re kidding, he’s drunk?!” Charlie asked quite loudly, which caused Steven and Gerard to immediately rush over.

“No way…” Meeks hums, pushing his glasses up and waving his hand in front of Todd’s eyes.

“Meeks why are you acting like this isn’t your doing? My very freshly 21 year old boyfriend consumed your battery acid drinks and now his body is all jelly.” Neil said, whisper yelling at Meeks so that Todd doesn’t try and defend Steven.

“To be fair Neil, Todd usually has that glassy eyed look around you anyway,” Pitts butts in, being quickly shut up by a glare from Neil.

Upon seeing a large huddle of a majority of his friends, Knox, who cannot handle his alcohol in the slightest, bounds over to the group and slings his arm around his boyfriend.

“Hiya boysss,” He slurs, tucking his face into Charlie’s neck and leaving a short kiss there. Not only could Knox not handle his alcohol, but when he drank he got clingy, and fast.

“How many has Loverboy drank?” Pitts snickered, poking Knox in the side as Charlie answered. “One Pittsie.. Knoxious has had one.”

“Only one?” Cameron asked, walking up to his group of friends. The boys all snickering noticing his arm is empty.

“Thought you said you were gonna find a woman… dick…” Charlie said, giggling like a schoolboy after using the newest nickname in his reservoir to describe Cameron. Steven will forever rue the day he told Charlie Dalton that Dick is short for Richard.

“Well Charles I found one but she had, somewhere to be…” he hummed, taking a cup from Meeks, even after the boy’s protests.

“Yeah somewhere to be far away from you. Look over there Richie.” Meeks said, pointing to the girl Cameron had previously been speaking with. She was now latched onto one of Chet Danburry’s football buddies.

The boys all laugh as Richard stomps up the stairs. “Where ya goin Dickie?!” Knox calls, peaking up from his spot in Charlie’s neck just for Charlie to push him right back, a hand clamped over his mouth.

“To bed. And if I wake up in the morning to our house being a mess, I will kill the lot of you.” He yelled back, making his way to his room, and slamming the door.

Todd flinches at the sound, sitting up for the first time in the 15 minutes since the group got there. “Hii guysss,” he slurred, stretching his arms over his head.

“TODDD” Knox calls, also untucking himself from Charlie and slinging his arms around Todd’s neck.

The pair had become very close. Not only due to their boyfriends being childhood best friends, but because they always kept an eye on their boyfriends at parties such as this one. Charlie and Neil were karaoke buddies, usually standing on tables at Frat parties. Tonight, as a gift to the freshly-able-to-drink boyfriend, and the needs-adult-supervision-after-one-shot boyfriend, Charlie and Neil promised to keep their drinking to a minimum to allow Knox and Todd to have fun.

All the boys laugh as Knox and Todd hug, watching as they both start to melt to the ground.

“Woah woah honey… let’s not go to the ground.” Neil mumbles, scooping Todd up under the armpits.

“Yeah loverboy let’s stay up.” Charlie said, helping up the equally jelly legged Knox.

“Well laddies, I think it’s time we wrap up this party so we can clean up the place for our dear Richard.” Steven says, checking his watch to the time being 2:12 am on Christmas day.

“You’re right.” Charlie says, placing his hands over Knox’s sensitive ears and nodding at Neil to do the same for Todd.

“ALRIGHT STUDENTS. IF YOU DO NOT LIVE IN THIS LOVELY HOME PLEASE SHAKE YOUR TAIL FEATHERS AND GET OUT. HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS OR HAPPY HANUKKAH OR WHATEVER YOU CELEBRATE. PICK UP A CUP OR THREE AS YOU LEAVE.” Charlie hollers, watching as the partygoers start to leave in twos and threes.

At 2:17 the house is empty, minus the 6 merry poets downstairs, and 1 grumpy poet already tucked in bed. “Alright divide and conquer men… and Knox and Todd please just sit on the couch before your boyfriends can retrieve you.” Meeks said, already bending over to pick up various cups.

10 minutes later, the house was clean, or as clean as a house full of young adult men can be. A quick goodnight and Merry Christmas was said to each of the boys as the respective couples and such went to their rooms.

Neil sits holding Todd on the end of their shared bed. “Honey you gotta take the meds now so you don’t wake up puking up your guts.”

“Donwanna neil… wanna lay down.” Todd mumbles, tucking his head into the older boy’s neck.

Neil could never argue with Todd. Accepting defeat and the fact that he’d had to nurse Todd through the hangover in the morning anyway, Neil tucked a cuddly Todd into the bed.

“Goodnight honey,” Neil hummed, kissing Todd on the head, “and Merry Christmas.” Neil whispered, turning off the lamp and cuddling up to his already asleep boyfriend.

- - -

first dps fic please don’t flame me! and if you want to be added to a taglist lmk :)

[sturniolo-rat]

Chapter 1: Cherry Contact

A/N: If this flops, I’m going to cry😢 In loving memory of @newsourceofnonsense, she's not dead; I just like the memory of her.

Contains: smut, oral, fingering , exhibitionism, plot

TW: tell me if you find any

Chris and Y/N are two walking commitment issues that enter into a mutually assured attachment.

Everyone thinks Y/N is a book hoarder, but she considers herself more of a book collector. She has over 700 books that take up damn near her whole apartment. The collection consists primarily of special and first-edition books. It’s probably worth around $50,000, but she doesn’t care because she plans on keeping them forever. To fund her obsession, she works as a waitress at a restaurant that just opened up called “The Copper Kitchen.” her best friend, Dorset, is a freckle-faced white girl with short brown hair, green eyes, and circle glasses. She also happens to be a bartender at “The Copper Kitchen.” Currently, Y/N is outside of her apartment waiting for Dorset so they can carpool to work. When Dorset pulls up in her shitty car, Y/N is ecstatic because she has big news to share. 

“Dot, I’ve done it!” she says as she hops into the passenger seat. 

“Wh- what have you done?” She’s very concerned that Y/N has done something crazy. It wouldn’t be the first time. The last time something like this happened, she told Dorset that she got her ex’s name tattooed on her left ass cheek.

“I’ve decided to have sex with men again!”

Dorset is relieved. “OMG! Yes! We can finally fight over men again!” They laugh as she merges back onto the road to begin the short trip to work.

“Yep, I’m meeting a guy at the restaurant after my shift,” Y/N says proudly. She's been off men since her break up three years ago, and this new guy is the first not to give her the ick within the first week of talking. She knows meeting up doesn’t automatically mean sex, but she hasn’t had dick in 3 years and feels that she owes it to herself to fuck this man. It’s not like she’s interested in anything else from him. Romance is strictly off the table for her. She prefers to stick to smutty romance books and shitty Tumblr fanfics of perfectly romanticized versions of men. 

“Oh, I can’t wait to hear all about your little hookup.” They part as they head to their respective jobs at the restaurant—time to deal with shitty customers who tip like assholes. 

Twenty minutes before the end of her shift, the most obnoxious kids walk in. They’re not actually kids; they're about 20, but Y/N considers anyone under 22 a kid, and these guys seem incredibly immature.

“Hey guys!” Says Nick, holding up the camera. “Welcome to today’s Friday vlog where we will be…”

Matt takes the camera, “trying the food at…” 

Chris gets into the shot and yells, “The Copper Kitchen!”

Nick hits Chris in the head “Don’t yell in my fucking ear!” 

“Don’t hit me, Dickface!” Chris hits him back while Matt holds the camera and laughs to the side.

The Y/N comes up and loudly asks, “Is this your whole party?” She gives them a disapproving look. 

Matt is the first to speak, “Yes, ma’am, it’s just the three of us today.”

“Sorry, ma’am,” said Nick and Chris in unison. Chris is noticeably more embarrassed than Nick is. He’s absolutely mortified to be seen acting like a child in front of such a beautiful woman.

“Thank you. Let me show you to your table.” She picks up three menus before walking them to their seats. Only when they’re all sitting and looking up at her does she realize that the three boys are triplets. “Can I start you off with something to drink?” 

She points to Matt. “Root beer, thanks.”

She points to Nick. “Water, if you don’t mind.”

She points to Chris. “What’s the best virgin mixed drink you guys have?”

“I’m not sure, but you can never go wrong with a Shirley Temple. Do you want me to go ask the bartender?” She would love to tell Dorset about the sexy triplets that just stumbled in.

“Nope, we’re all good. I’ll take a Shirley Temple and a Pepsi.”

“Great. I’ll be back in a few with your drinks.” 

Y/N practically runs to Dorset. Chris can’t help but watch her ass as she walks to the bar to order his drink. When she returns a few minutes later, she hands Chris his drinks last.

“Thank you for the Pepsi, but this…” he lifts the mixed drink and hands it to her. “is for you, miss…” he pauses to look at her name tag. “Y/N. It’s an apology for making a scene in your restaurant.”  Nick and Matt are in shock over how forward he’s being. Chris has never really flirted in front of them before. It’s kind of weird, but they can see why he has so many girls in and out of his room. 

“Well, thank you…”

“Chris.” he interrupts. “Please, call me Chris.” he gives Y/N a charming smile.

“Thank you very much, Chris. However, my shift is over, and Michelle will serve you for the rest of the night.” 

“I’m sorry to see you go, miss Y/N, but I hope you have a good day.”

“Will do, Chris,” says Y/N before she walks away to sit across the room at the bar. She talks to Dorset about her date tonight while she waits for him. His name is Theo. He’s blonde with deep brown eyes, and from what Y/N can tell from sexting, he’s so fucking good at dirty talk. Unfortunately, he is 30 minutes late to meet her. 

Chris has been relatively quiet for today’s video. He’s been distracted watching Y/N enjoy his drink and seeing her smile and laugh with her friend. She looks somewhat distressed now, and Chris can't help but think he’s found his opening. He makes the boys wrap up the video and leaves to get Y/N’s number. 

He turns on his charm and sits on the stool next to her. “What’s got you so worried, miss Y/N.”

“Pretty sure I’m being stood up. I’m also pretty sure people under 21 can’t sit at the bar.”

“Who says I’m not 21? Maybe I’m here to buy you another drink.” 

Y/N cocks her eyebrow as she calls her friend over. “Order me something then.”

Chris tries to think his way out of this. “Listen, you guys are friends, right? She’s just been stood up, and a handsome young man would like to buy your friend a drink. I’m sure if you just forget to card me this one time and let me buy her a Shirley Temple with vodka and extra cherries, it would make her night ten times better.”

“My hands are tied, Y/N. You’re my weakness.” she looks to Chris. “Dirty Shirley coming right up.”

“You’re fuckin’ smooth, aren’t you?” asks Y/N. 

Much more confident than he was moments before Chris responds, “Yes, ma’am, I am. Now tell me all about the bad man who hurt you.”

“I’m not really hurt,” she replies, but Chris can tell she’s hiding something. 

“No?” he questions.

Dorset comes with her drink, and Y/N takes a nervous sip. “Can I be honest with you?”

“Of course you can, Miss Y/N.”

“I’m not hurt. I was just really horny, and I got my nails done for this date, and not I can’t even touch myself at home because my nails are so sharp,” she says, completely embarrassed. She doesn’t make eye contact with him and focuses intensely on eating her maraschino cherries. 

“I don’t mean to be too forward, but…” he leans in, whispering in Y/N’s ear, “ I think I can help you with that.” She doesn’t miss a beat. She takes his hand and drags him to the large family bathroom. Dorset claps and cheers them on openly as they make their way. Y/N makes a mental note to get her back somehow later. 

She palms him through his pants, and Chris grabs her face, pulling her into a rough, hurried kiss. “Oh, fuck. You taste like cherries.” he hikes up her uniform skirt and rubs her over her panties. 

“You have yourself to thank for that.” 

He spins her around so he can watch her face in the mirror as he touches her. “You’re also soaked. Do I have myself to thank for that, too?” before she can say anything, Chris’s finger is spreading her lips apart and playing at her entrance. 

She closes her legs in response. “Nope, not so fast. You gotta eat it first.”

Chris sinks to his knees. “Yes, ma’am.” he wastes no time. He spreads her thighs apart, slides her panties to her knees, and starts lapping at her clit from behind. He’s got to be quick because his brothers are waiting for him. 

She bends over the sink, propping herself up on her forearms. “Oh, fuck!” she groans. 

“Hush, Cherry. Don’t want to get fired for fucking on the job, do we?.” The vibrations from his laugh makes Y/N’s pussy shiver causing her to wiggle a little. Chris loves watching her ass jiggle. “Has anyone ever eaten your ass?” he parts her cheeks and gives her a playful spank. “You have such a cute little asshole. Do you mind if I try?” 

“Yeah, you can try,” she says sheepishly, hiding her face from the mirror. 

“Don’t worry, I won’t forget to give your clit some attention.” 

“Oh, yes! Just like that!” Y/N cries out louder than she means to as his tongue explores her ass. He rubs her clit with the pad of his finger, and she lets out a breathy moan. Chris is hard as a fucking rock, and she’s making such pretty sounds. It’s torture not to touch himself, but he came here to help her out and needs to focus on making her cum. 

“Yeah. Tell me how you like it.” 

“Fingers, please,” she begs. 

“Tell me how many you need, Cherry?”

“Two. Just two, please.” Y/N takes his fingers inside of her with ease. He searches for a moment to find that special spot of hers. “Right there!” 

Chris is so happy with how open she’s been to him. The girls he’s been with recently have been so meek. She’s such a good girl telling him just where she needs him. He works his fingers into her faster, making sure to hit her G spot every time. Y/N starts pushing herself back on his fingers. Chris feels her pussy begin to tighten like a vice around him. “You’re such a good fucking girl. Cum for me, Cherry. Cum on my fingers.” her legs giveaway as her climax burns through her, and Chris has to hold her up as he tries to work her through it. 

When her orgasm subsides and her vision comes back, Chris is on the floor holding her. She rests her head on his chest and says, “Thank you. That was fucking amazing.”

“Anytime, Cherry. I don’t expect any reciprocation today, but I feel I am owed your phone number.” He hands her his phone, and the new contact is already open. 

“Of course, here’s my number, Chris.” she hands the phone back to him, gets back onto her feet, and pulls her panties up. She leaves without saying goodbye. Chris looks down at his phone and smiles at her contact name. “Y/N🍒 (Sexy Waitress)”

Masterlist

Taglist

@rafecameronsbitch @daddyslilchickenfingers2 @mrsmiagreer @lovergirl4387 @gdsvhtwa @ashley9282828 @j-worlds-blog @stephanieienwf @achrisgirly @draculaura123 @abbypost @Cind2224 @crazychrisl0v3r @ryli3sworld @bkwrld @pinkishpearls @pepsienthusiasts @stunza @chrattstromboli @sturnssmuts @angelic-sturniolos111 @69isabella69 @maryx2xx @sturniolo04 @bigbeefybitch @klaus223492 @r93339 @sturnzsblog @spotconlon55 @robins-scoop @junovrsmp4 @sturnlover4eva @blahbel668 @lilahnowheretobefound @luxy-nyx @tuffsturns @m0r94n @sturnstvs

[superwholocked2016]

If Psych had a Muppet movie

- Lassiter is the resident human

- Muppet Shawn! Is unaware that he is a muppet and is just like *gets hit by three consecutive pianos* “Wow! This should’ve killed me… I must be built different”

- Cookie Monster chomping down scene but it’s Gus and Shawn and a bunch of pharmaceutical pills for some reason

- A lot of famous puppet references

- “I’d rather be David Bowie in ‘The Dark Crystal’ right now.”

- “Gus don’t be a sock being controlled by a hand”

- “Gus don’t be whatever is happening between Bert and Ernie.”

- Let Juliet kick someone Miss Piggy style

- I don’t think Woody should be a Muppet, he should be a Oobi

- I think the bad guy should be hit by a bus and then it pans over to Gus and he goes “This is why you look both ways kids.”

- When Lassiter tries to do serious paperwork and turn it into Karen it turns into a song about paperwork

- Lassiter strangling Shawn but now it’s 10x funnier

- There’s so many famous people but none of them are important at all, Lassiter sits at a bar turns his head and Pedro Pascal is sipping a Shirley Temple and behind him is Clint Eastwood hands deep in some bar nuts

- “Gus don’t be a tennis ball who likes to play banjo”

- Let someone.. anyone cuss

- More points if the only scene of Shawn’s dad is him walking in the precinct saying “Fuck off.” And him walking straight back out

- Let Lassiter have a full song to himself, I need him to have a full ‘Man or Muppet’ type song

- Girlboss Gaslight- Juliet gets to shoot people like a Wilkins coffee ad

[licorice-tea]

I’m A Ghost Of You, You’re A Ghost Of Me Pt. 2

Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x reader, platonic Straw Hat Pirates & reader

Content: slow burn, canon typical violence (nobody actually gets hurt), throwing darts (just for fun), mentions of a g*n (no shooting), reader shoots an arrow from a bow (no one is harmed), reader has special skills typical of a one piece character, bars, mentions of alcohol

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: This one is kind of long and there isn’t much reader x zoro in it, we’re still building up to that lol. There is a mention of him and his relationship to the reader at the end of this chapter though! Oh, and since Usopp is a sniper, but so is y/n (just different weapons) I’ve made it so Usopp’s thing/weapon of choice is his inventions instead! It won’t change the story much at all, but I didn’t want to make it so there are 2 people with the same fighting style on the crew once the reader joins. One last thing- this takes place after the crew has taken down Arlong Park- their next destination is Reverse Mountain, but they just so happened to meet the reader on an island first.

Part 1 • Part 3

Monkey D. Luffy had charmed you from the moment you met him- and vice versa. The two of you, though you had very different backgrounds and aspirations, were both young, free souls with big dreams. He had just begun assembling his crew that would ultimately help him achieve his goal of becoming King of the Pirates. So far, the future king had recruited a swordsman and a navigator. Or at least, that’s what he told you when he found you; in a bar on one of the smaller islands of the East Blue.

It was a quiet day, and the bar was empty save for you and the bartender. You weren’t much of a drinker, but the heat was intense and the bar offered shade and a place to relax. So while the few patrons of the bar drank, you took to playing darts. Alone.

You hold the dart in your right hand with your left arm outstretched as if to focus your aim; poised to throw. Then after a few back and forth movements of your hand- as if to determine the path the dart would take once you let it go- you exhale softly and do just that. The dart flies in a near straight line, only falling slightly at the end of its arc to hit the dead center of the dart board.

With a small smile you hum to yourself and pick up another dart from a box nearby. You don’t even really aim this time though, just steady your hand and repeat those back and forth motions before throwing. This time, you use more force, and the second dart splits the first.

One of the few others in the bar, a tall and burly man in a marine uniform, approaches you after the 4th dart has split 3 others. He puts an arm on your shoulder, and gives you a scrutinizing sort of look as he sizes you up.

“You shoot, kid?”

“Yeah, a bow.”

“Ever thought about being a marine?”

You shrug off his hand, “No, thank you.”

He steps closer, “Oh, so you think you’re too good for us? Wont take orders cause you’re the best, right?” You can smell the alcohol on his breath.

“Sure, something like that.” You respond sarcastically while taking a step back. You’re not one to go looking for a fight, but he’s clearly trying to challenge or test you. Sigh, marines and their pride.

He huffs, then turns to leave and spits in the spittoon by the bar doors. The marine looks back over his shoulder and points at you. “Meet me outside when you’re ready to put your money where your mouth is, kid.”

You simply roll your eyes and take a seat at the bar, as you’re no longer in the mood for playing darts. The bartend comes around to your side to take your order.

“A shirley temple, please.”

He gives you a deadpan look, and when you don’t quirk a smile or admit to it being a joke, he full on laughs at you.

“You’re gonna run from that marine on nothing but a shirley temple, huh kid?”

“Excuse me?”

“He’s still waiting for you outside, no doubt about it. I hope you’re fast.”

You frown and rest your head in your chin, thinking of how you were going to get out of this mess.

Sometime between your confrontation with the drunk marine and your conversation with the bartend, a new group came in. You hadn’t noticed earlier, but you did now as they were clearly watching you. They must have been listening to everything go down, too, based on their expressions.

The bartend leaves your end to go take this new groups orders before eventually coming back to make your drink.

“…I’m not running from anything.” is the answer you settle on as he slides you the bright red shirley temple.

“Sure thing.”

You pull out a few berries from your pocket, but before you can slide them over he waves you off.

The bartend nods his chin to the new group of people, who you realize are still not so subtly staring and talking about you. “Those guys paid for your drink.”

They sure are an interesting bunch. There’s a boy with a straw hat, a girl with orange hair, one man with curly brows and another with a long nose. And they’re just looking at you, mostly (with the exception of the blonde with curly eyebrows, who is giggling with literal hearts in his eyes.)

You nod to the group as a way of saying “thanks”, but you’re not sure if you should approach them… Fortunately, the boy with the straw hat makes that decision for you when he gets up and comes to stand by you.

“Hey!”

“Hi?” You offer a friendly smile, but it’s nothing compared to his huge grin.

“My name is Monkey D. Luffy, and I’m gonna be King of The Pirates!”

All you do is hum in acceptance of his grand statement, “Well, I’m l/n y/n.” You extend a hand to shake, “Nice to meet you.”

“You’ve gotta go fight that marine!” the boy exclaims. He holds his hands in fists, completely ignoring your handshake in favor of making punching motions.

“I- No, I can’t.”

“Why not? You can beat him- I saw you throwing darts!”

“Well, sure, but I don’t want my bounty going up or anything… I’m not looking for trouble, really.” You laugh nervously.

“Psh! He insulted your bravery! And having a bounty is coo-“ He’s cut off by the girl with orange hair who slaps a hand over his mouth.

“Sorry about him. I’m Nami… and you’re some kind of sharpshooter, right?”

You nod as you look between the two of them, then at the rest of their friends who were sitting on the other end of the bar but are now also making their way over.

“Well, y/n was it? I think what Luffy was trying to say-“ she then glares at Luffy, “before he almost outed us as pirates when a marine is outside- is that he’d really like to see more of what you can do.”

“Um… why? I’m not trying to be rude or anything, I just-“

“I want you to join my crew!”

You blink, shocked. “And why would you need me?” you say with a somewhat surprised laugh.

“I want a sharpshooter on my crew, and you have the best aim I’ve ever seen!” He says everything with such excitement, and you like it.

“Really? I’m a good shot, I don’t know about the best…” you giggle. “I’m not even a sharpshooter, I’m a painter; I just do this for fun.”

As you had explained: you didn’t really consider yourself a full blown archer. More like an artist who happened to have a talent for archery, and would use a bow and arrow as a means of protection. It was how you survived; not your dream.

Of course, being an artist whose work is known all throughout the world is a grand and respectable dream all on its own. You knew that- even if others had labeled you foolish or unserious for your passion. Sure, art wasn’t something dangerous that could earn you tons of glory, or even a career with a guarantee of money. But, that didn’t matter to you, because it was what you loved most in life. And, you had become enamored with the idea of beauty for beauty’s sake through many arguments with your parents over the purpose and need for art (beyond being a hobby.) You still doubted yourself occasionally, but the backlash somehow made it easier to believe in yourself when your confidence ran low.

That was over a year ago now, and you’d been making a name for yourself as a painter. You liked to travel between islands to find inspiration in a variety of places and people, but you got by just fine with the berries from selling your work. It was nice, having the freedom to do what you loved most… but this was your chance to follow your dream to someday be a master of the arts. And you felt in some odd way, that this small crew led by a boy no older than yourself; they were a part of that future.

“Ohhh, so that’s your dream then? Perfect! All of the Straw Hat Pirates have dreams!”

“The Straw Hat Pirates? So, you’re the captain then?” You can’t help but smile up at the boy with the Straw Hat. And it makes close to no sense at all, but you have a really good feeling about him- about all of them.

“Yep! Join us, cmon!”

“I… Um…” It’s not like you were really tied down at all. And how often did you meet people like these, who made you feel safe and appreciated even though you had just met?

Well, you did remember one time. But that was over a year ago, and you hadn’t heard from him since.

Nami shakes her head at Luffy once again, “Give them some time to think, would you! Not everyone can just run off with a pirate crew.”

Then, one of the other two crew members who had joined in on the conversation speaks up. “So… are you going to go fight that marine?” says the man with the long nose. “Oh, I’m Usopp by the way.” He gives a friendly wave.

The blonde responds for you; “They don’t have to do anything they don’t want to.” His eyes return from Usopp to you, and the hearts seem to reappear. “And I’m Sanji, it’s really a pleasure to meet you!” He takes one of your hands and shakes it with both of his.

You giggle and shake your head. “No, it’s ok.” You drain the last bit of your shirley temple, then stand up from your barstool. “I’ll do it.”

There are mixed reactions after the initial surprise from the whole crew- minus Luffy, he seems like he knew you would. But once the rest lose their shocked expressions Nami and Usopp both try to talk you out of it while Sanji cheers you on. Luffy simply crosses his arms and nods with a grin, and they all follow you out of the bar.

“But- but wait! You really don’t have to, this will just cause trouble!” Usopp tries to reason with you.

You shake your head, “It’s ok, he’s probably not even here anymore.”

And sure enough when you walk out onto the street, it’s nearly empty. No marines in sight- until you hear him.

“Hey, kid!” The voice comes from further down the street behind you, and you and all the Straw Hat Pirates turn to see who it belong to. Sure enough, there’s the marine- he seems to have sobered up a little, or enough that he’s not slurring his words or stumbling anymore.

As if this were some old western movie, you rest a hand on the bow slung over your shoulder. “Nevermind then. Can you give me a little space guys?” The Straw Hats back away and watch as the marine hurries toward you, stopping about 10 paces away.

“Here to defend your honor, huh?”

“No, that’s silly. I’m here because you interrupted my game of darts.”

He scowls and draws his own weapon- a standard marine issued firearm, by the looks of it.

Before he can even load it or cock it or- whatever they do with guns, how would you know? You draw your bow and knock back a single arrow, but with great force. It hits the barrel of the gun, fully bending it away from the direction your arrow hit it.

The marine, the Straw Hats, and even yourself (though you felt too confident to look surprised) were shocked. For a single arrow to dent the barrel of a gun? Well, you must be one hell of an archer. Yet it was “just a hobby” as you told your new crewmates, and so they were all excited to see the prowess you would exemplify over your actual dream.

He takes two cautionary steps backwards first, then the marine turns and full on sprints away. The Straw Hats all laugh, cheer, and pat you on the back while asking how in the world you did that. You weren’t entirely sure yourself, but were still content with the outcome of the day.

“So now you’ll be part of my crew, right?”

“Yes!” You laugh, “I’d love to.”

You explain to your new crew, or nakama as Luffy calls you, that you just have to go get your bag from the inn you’re currently staying in. The five of you meet back at the docks of the island just a few minutes before sunset, and they show you to their boat; the Going Merry.

But before any of you can begin to board the vessel, Luffy stops and exclaims, “Aw man, where’s Zoro?”

You whip your head around to face Luffy. Did he say Zoro? As in, Roronoa Zoro- the bounty hunter who’d led you get away a year ago to follow your dream? The man you still felt you owed your future to, for what he had done for you…

“Probably lost. Again.” Usopp sighs.

“Sorry, did you say Zoro?”

“Yep, he’s our swordsman!”

You have no words, so you just hum in response. What were the chances of joining the same crew as your… savior? Ally? Friend? The definition of your relationship was not at all set in stone, so you can only rely on what is tangible for now; the growing smile on your lips, and the faster beating of your heart.

Maybe you would get the chance to repay him after all.

[beardedmrbean]

Zoomer Huey, I tend to see people saying why Gen z don’t have sex much.

Holy

Fucking

Shits

These journalists surprisedly have WORSE self awareness than there boomer relatives

Here a hint https://x.com/swannmarcus89/status/1762582001507323991?s=46

And gender dynamics are…nuked in the fields they are surveying. Women and girls are told that all men are predators and misandry is left unchecked

Also, why Hollywood act surprised about the sex abuse?

We all heard about the casting coach, and how suspiciously people from working class backgrounds like Micheal Jackson (yes his dad had his music connections. But essentially mj was a slave and was arguably was the first black child star unless I’m missing someone) and Walt Disney (though not as bad) are painted as monsters while the actual monsters are protected for decades

I mean look at Judy Garland, she was a sweet person and she did help the LBGT in Hollywood and supported the civil rights movement

But her “crazy” behavior makes more sense because she was sexually abused at a extremely young age

And she not the only one, Shirley Temple, the boy who played at the first LA Dennis the Manis

Oh and the Peter Pan actor (a lot of people leave out the part where ALL of Hollywood basically says he can choke and die because he was “too” Disney)

But sorry about the Gen stuff, but the false rape accusations, maybe if you guys didn’t view men (especially white ones) the same way Nazis viewed the Jews while saying all the working class men were Weinstein.

My Gen would have more sex

Entertainment industry has been like that since the beginning of forever, probably less so when women weren't allowed to participate but still a thing I'm sure.

As for Judy Garland it was nice to see people come out swinging in her defense when someone tried to start shit over well

She was not in control of her carer, saying no was not an option for her with this, but dumbasses that can only think in terms of today's standards never think about that.

Jay North (Dennis the Menace) did ok, so did Shirley Temple, plenty of others not so much, more recently we can look at Drew Barrymore and RDJ who both had fairly public meltdowns and problems.

Drew was ruined since her first film was ET and Spielberg takes care of the kids on set, going beyond the legal requirements.

Bobby Driscol was the Peter Pan VA top of his Wiki article.

Robert "Bobby" Cletus Driscoll (March 3, 1937 – c. March 30, 1968) was an American actor who performed on film and television from 1943 to 1960. He starred in some of the Walt Disney Studios' best-known live-action pictures of that period: Song of the South (1946), So Dear to My Heart (1949), and Treasure Island (1950), as well as RKO's The Window (1949). He served as the animation model and provided the voice for the title role in Peter Pan (1953). He received an Academy Juvenile Award for outstanding performances in So Dear to My Heart and The Window.

He just fell into the child actor pit, where he wasn't "cute" anymore couldn't get gigs and couldn't adjust to not being in the spotlight, the way he went and nobody knowing is awful to think about still.

Jackie Coogan, on the other hand was a different story.

His parents sucked and as a result there's a series of laws named after him California's Coogan Law all about protecting the earnings of child actors from their parents. % goes into a trust iirc.

He ended up OK in the end though

The false accusation thing, #me too hurt women because #believe women was taken advantage of to such a degree that even this coming out to light

has still probably not cleared up for the trooper, and men are opting to not mentor women because of not wanting to risk a false accusation, everyone screams about how rare they are, to which I say so what, why should they assume the risk even if it's minor

Former VP Mike Pence came out and said he won't be alone with a woman that's not his wife in order to ensure that there is no possibility of someone making a claim of impropriety.

And he got this response

Why is anyone going to put their neck on the line when something like what he said is going to get this kind of response.

Maybe instead of crying about how rare false accusations are they should focus on shaming the people making them and coming up with solutions to keep them from happening.

You know instead of blaming the victims of the false accusations.

All this and so much more going on that isn't in this ask goes to the I don't blame people for not having as much sex, it's actually kinda nice too, fewer std's this way.

I went on a couple tangents, hope that's ok

[anonymousewrites]

Adolescent Antichrist (Book 4) Chapter Ten

Father Figure! Lucifer x Teen! Reader

Chapter Ten: God, Why is It Me You Always Test?

Summary: Eve gets another chance from (Y/N), but it goes to Hell anyways.

            “You look like you saw another death person,” said Em as (Y/N) walked into their room.

            (Y/N) groaned. “Eve keeps flirting with Lucifer.”

            “They do have a fling going on,” said Em, shrugging. The use of “fling” was intentional since both teens thought that Lucifer and Eve wouldn’t last. It was just Lucifer being in a bad place and Eve projecting her love for their relationship in the past onto their dynamic now.

            “Yeah, yeah, I know, but if Eve could try not dressing up in sexy costume of herself to seduce him when I’m in the house,” grumbled (Y/N).

            Em made a face. “Oh…Ew.”

            “Exactly,” huffed (Y/N), throwing themself down on Em’s bed dramatically.

            Em patted their back. “Don’t worry. Lucifer is responsible.”

            (Y/N) raised their hand to give Em a doubtful look.

            “Okay, more responsible than we give him credit for. Sometimes,” amended Em. “He’s not going to go crazy to have ‘fun’ with Eve while you’re here.” They nudged (Y/N). “He cares more about you.”

            (Y/N) smiled. “I guess.”

            “(Y/N)!” called Eve’s voice as she threw open the door to Em’s room.

            “If you’re not wearing real clothes, go away!” shouted (Y/N).

            “Don’t worry, silly, I am,” said Eve brightly.

            Em tapped (Y/N)’s shoulder and whispered, “You’re safe.”

            (Y/N) rolled over and glared at Eve. “What do you want?”

            “I thought we could give bonding a try again,” said Eve, (thankfully) wearing a dress instead of the leafy biking and bra from before.

            (Y/N) narrowed their eyes suspiciously. “No thanks, I’d rather not have another panic attack.”

            “That was an accident!” defended Eve.

            Em put a hand on (Y/N)’s shoulder and gave Eve a dark look. “They said they didn’t want to.” Em was the only one who could tease (Y/N) or force them to do stuff they didn’t like. If Eve was trying to make them do anything…no way. That made Em get protective.

            “Please? I swear I won’t make you wear anything, and I’ve been reading on gender identity,” said Eve. “I’m really trying. Please, will you give me another chance?”

            (Y/N) was silent as they looked at Eve. They sat up.

            Em squeezed their shoulder. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I can throw her out,” she whispered.

            (Y/N) sighed. “It’s okay. I’ll give her another chance since Lucifer likes her.” They looked at Eve. “Fine. You get another chance. Don’t mess it up.”

            Eve brightened and grinned at (Y/N). “I won’t!” I’ll show them how cool I am and show Lucifer I can bond with them! This is perfect!

            (Y/N) looked at her wide smile. It’s not like it could be worse than last time, they thought.

l

            Apparently, it could.

            “Come on, dance!” called Eve, trying to pull (Y/N) to the dancefloor of Lux.

            (Y/N) pulled their hand back. “Yeah, I’m fine. And underage.”

            Eve waved a hand. “Come on, break the rules! It’s so much fun to!”

            (Y/N) groaned and rolled their eyes. God, why is it me you always test? “I think I’ll just hang over here.”

            Eve just grinned, already intoxicated (and probably high). “Okay! Have fun!” She danced away into the crowd.

            (Y/N) sighed and turned back to the bar. The bartender recognized them as who he and the rest of the staff knew as Lucifer’s Kid. He knew they were underage, so he wasn’t going to serve them alcohol, but he would keep an eye on them.

            “Can I have a Shirley Temple?” asked (Y/N), slouching on the bar.

            “No problem, kid,” said the bartender.

            (Y/N) sighed. This was going to be a long night. Hopefully Lucifer will arrive soon and distract Eve so I can escape.

l

            “Brother,” said Lucifer, walking into the Penthouse and spying Amenadiel. “How’s it going with the Teenager Mutant Ninja Angel Baby?”

            He’s one to talk about having weirdly powerful kids, thought Em from where they and Amenadiel had just been staring at each other silently. Honestly, (Y/N)’s way worse than Amenadiel’s baby could ever be.

            “Why didn’t you tell me that Eve was here, Luci?” questioned Amenadiel, getting straight to the point.

            “Oh, please, I’m not gonna text you every time someone stays the night. Think of my data plan,” said Lucifer.

            “We have unlimited data,” said Em, rolling their eyes. (Y/N)’s sassiness towards Lucifer was rubbing off on her. (That and Em wanted to hurry this conversation up to get Lucifer to make sure (Y/N) was alright and to show Eve was out of control still).

            “Besides the point,” said Lucifer.

            “This isn’t just some fling, Lucifer,” said Amenadiel, irritated. “This is Eve! Eve!”

            “We know her name,” said Em. Angels were so dramatic. (And demons, too. Em knew Maze, after all).

            “I really don’t think you understand the dangers of having Eve here!” said Amenadiel, standing and approaching Lucifer.

            “If you’re worried about what happened last time, don’t be,” said Lucifer. “I’m not gonna corrupt her. Besides, don’t know how I could. She’s pretty much up for anything these days.”

            “Yeah, including taking (Y/N) to your club,” said Em.

            Lucifer froze. “She what?”

            “Yeah. I can’t get in since I look like a human teenager, but (Y/N) wanders through the Lux all the time when coming and going so the employees didn’t blink at them appearing with Eve,” said Em.

            Lucifer straightened. “I’m sure (Y/N)’s alright…But I will go and check on them.”

            “And that’s the problem!” said Amenadiel. “Eve is here for the old you. The one she remembers from the garden. And because of that, she’s willing to drag (Y/N), a human child, into dangerous situations! She thinks you’ll find it entertaining since the you from the garden loves chaos.”

            “I don’t want (Y/N) to be put in danger. Eve knows that,” said Lucifer. He’d never put his kid at risk.

            “She clearly doesn’t,” said Em, crossing her arms. “She still thinks she can impress you through bonding with (Y/N) but has no idea what she’s doing.”

            Amenadiel nodded forcefully. “I don’t want you to revert back to your old habits just because Eve is around.”

            “Well, I’m still the Devil,” said Lucifer bitterly, remembering how it felt for Chloe to look at him like a monster. “So I won’t be changing since I never did in the first place. And I don’t even know if I want to be with Eve, anyways.”

            That’s good, thought Em.

            “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and check on (Y/N),” said Lucifer, brushing past Amenadiel and walking to the elevator.

            Amenadiel sighed as Lucifer left. “At least he still cares about (Y/N).”

            “Eve can’t come between them,” said Em. Amenadiel glanced at her. “Trust me, I know. I think that as long as (Y/N)’s there, Eve is going to find that Lucifer isn’t the same one she knew.” They shrugged as Amenadiel stared. “Don’t worry about my boss.” She walked away to the elevator. “See ya, angel.”

l

            “Detective, what are you doing here?” asked Lucifer as he tried to gaze around the room to see (Y/N).

            “We still have a case,” said Chloe.

            “We do?”

            “Marco’s place was cleared out, so he’s still out there,” said Chloe.

            “Well, that explains my lack of closure, but I’m afraid I need to find (Y/N), so I’m busy,” said Lucifer.

            “Is (Y/N) alright?” asked Chloe, switching to mom-mode unconsciously.

            “They’re somewhere around here since Eve dragged them down,” said Em, appearing beside them.

            “Right, uh, wait there, Detective. I’ll find (Y/N) and then return,” said Lucifer.

            “Oh my god, Chloe!” Ella quite literally fell out of the crowd onto Chloe. “You came out to celebrate!”

            Lucifer and Chloe stared at her high state in surprise.

            “Oh, nope, working,” said Chloe, pushing Ella off of her gently. “Working.”

            “Oh, this jacket is so fuzzy and amazing,” said Ella, hugging Chloe again. “Aw. It must be like being hugged by a Muppet.”

            “Okay,” sighed Chloe, and Lucifer tried to life Ella off of her before leaving.

            “Oh my god, I’ve got someone you have to meet!” said Ella, holding Lucifer and Chloe back. Em was stuck in the mass of people and couldn’t get away, groaning in annoyance. “This is Eve!” said Ella as Eve fell out of the crowd, also high and tipsy.

            Chloe sighed. “Yes, we have met.”

            “She gave me drugs,” said Ella happily.

            “Eve, where is (Y/N)?” demanded Lucifer.

            “Hm? I dunno, they didn’t want to party,” said Eve, pouting.

            “Eve! Where is (Y/N)?” repeated Lucifer, grabbing her by the shoulders.

            “I left them at the bar,” said Eve. She smiled. “Aren’t you happy that I’m bonding with them?”

            Lucifer groaned. “Eve, you can’t bring them to a club. It’s dangerous for them.”

            “Aw, come on, Luci,” whined Eve. “You used to love being reckless.”

            “This is different, Eve!”

            Chloe’s eyes widened. She was seeing Lucifer acting as a father again. She relaxed slightly. At least no matter what Lucifer was like with her because of Eve it didn’t extend to (Y/N). Lucifer was still looking after them.

            “This is about my ki—!”

            Bang!

            A gunshot pierced the air. Screams echoed in the next moment as people ran clear of the man walking down the stairs towards Chloe and Lucifer. It was Marco.

            Chloe eyes widened, and her hand went to her gun. Her eyes scanned the room, but no one was injured. Marco had just fired into the air.

            “Don’t try it!” said Marco, finger on the trigger again. “Detective Decker, I need you to listen to me carefully!”

            Lucifer’s eyes narrowed as Marco approached. He couldn’t risk Marco firing and hitting anyone (hitting (Y/N)). “Now, Marc—”

            Bang!

            Lucifer’s eyes widened as a bullet pierced his stomach. Blood leaked from his stomach as his proximity to Chloe caused his body to weaken. He collapsed to the ground, and he felt his consciousness waver.

            The last thing he heard was a familiar voice screaming “Dad!” and the lights in Lux dimmed as shadows rushed over them.

            (Y/N)…

Taglist:

@sammyscreencaps-13

@grippleback-galaxy-galaxy

@scarlettqueen190

@ziro-the-null-god

@sammy-13

@zeros-rot

@ceridwyn3

@technikerin23

@poetoflawed

@slytherinroyalty16

@ilse235

[erikiara80]

Finally, new flashbacks. I have so many thoughts

About Shirley Jane Temple and the kid who actually has golden locks (more here)

The fact that we see this girl, Jennifer, when they mention Will's family. In Back to the future, Jen is Marty's girlfriend, but I think in this case it's Jennifer from Family Ties. Alex P. Keaton's blonde sister (by the way, Mrs Keaton's name is Elyse Catherine -> Catherine- Karen- Katinka. I love how everything is connected)

All these blonde sisters

Anne Shirley Cuthbert, who lives on Prince Edward Island

The name Ann in Terry's house

Also, why does Becky says twice, with a smirk, that Hopper and Terry would have gotten along?

Why does Becky resemble Diane?

Why are clowns not only connected to Will, but also to Terry's child and Sarah? (here)

Why does Hopper ask Becky IF her sister is Terry Ives? And her look? Hm

And why is there an extra who resembles Hopper in a scene that should be about Terry trying to save Jane? And let's not forget the green car that connects Terry to Joyce

I'm thinking about the swapping places and switched at birth mentions, mirrors, and time travel through memories. This is how time travels works on Fringe, The Butterfly Effect and Quantum Leap.

I think it was sterlingarcher23 who mentioned this interesting parallel between El and the Quantum Leap main character. This happens every time he goes back in time.

Like other people said, maybe we saw the time machine in S4. Nina. The water tank that looks a bit like a rocket, a space ship. Or a ship that ended up in another dimension beyond time and space

Just trying to connect these dots. I wonder if the reason El doesn't remember her past is because those were the memories of another kid. The original Eleven. Jane Ives.

We've seen possessed people and Max's empty body in S4. So, maybe...

[israbelle]

drink preferences

source; me randomly comnig up with it off the top of my head at 5am

JOHN: sprite, likes to add flavor shots (like making a shirley temple) has also been seen imbibing in iced tea

DAVE: apply juice duh. i think he likes his liquids room temperature

ROSE: tea of any kind but especially anything with fruity notes

JADE: cold mocha coffees. just for the taste, caffeine does nothing to her

ROXY: coffee, any way (but no extra flavors) or fruity mocktails, also cream soda

JAKE: the weakest coffee youve ever seen. black. also kool-aid with 3x the intended flavor. also bone broth. and mud

DIRK: i mean.. orange soda ? it's all flat he cant stand carbonation

JANE: chocolate milk (half milk half cream) or iced coffee with a simple flavor shot like vanilla or hazelnut. never any strawberry blue raspberry starbucks trickster hell

ARADIA: chai or any tea with black pepper; cups of ice; mixing every soda in the fountain together

TAVROS: matcha tea and boba and the sweet fruity starbucks coffees. and strawberry milk!!

SOLLUX: i refuse to say black coffee or energy drinks. um. ginger beer and also root beer but only the brands that taste like bundaberg bc its not sweet and its weirdly overpoweingly bitter andspicy

NEPETA: bone brothe extra sa;lt & on the rare occasion an herbal tea

KARKAT: hot drinks only, hates carbonation. makes his hot chocolate with half milk and half water. shares with jake in the title of weakest black coffee

KANAYA: those lemonade/sparkling waters that are artistically layered with fruits and pretty colors. would also like bloody maryes

TEREZI: those sour patch kids energy drinks, has drank a bottle of grenadine syrup and also another bottle of vanilla extract at least once

VRISKA: black coffee, tried to get into rum once for the authentic Pir8 Experience but couldnt stand it

EQUIUS: ........milk........

GAMZEE: ....faygo.... i think if you handed anything to gamzee and it was in a cup he would drink it

ERIDAN: black tea, hot, cream and sugar, snobs about it when he sees someone drinking iced tea

FEFERI: mango popping bubble tea (look up Salmon Roe), colas, is the kind of person to answer Omg I LOOOOOOOOVE water SO much!!! when asked what their favorite drink is

[sometimesanalice]

6, 32, 36

6. Vaguely spoil one of your fics without telling us which one it is

Look at you trying to get me to share the secrets in my notes app! (I will happily vaguely spoil some of the things I have waiting in the wings!)

(This Shirley Temple is so deeply important to me, and I hope it will be to other people when the time comes!🥰)

32. Which fic would you most like to write a sequel to?

I answered that one here, but I have another one for you!

I have a little LIC drabble AU called Picture Perfect where SG is a single mom to a little girl and Bradley is very much involved in their life. He’s happy with things, but she is worried she’s holding him back from a family of his own.

It originally stemmed from a glimmer of a series idea I had about Bradley and the younger sister of his longtime best friend who joined the Navy with him. But talking to a friends about it they (with much enthusiasm) pointed out it was also kind of the situation in LIC that propels Bradley into realizing his feelings for SG, specifically because he doesn’t want to be “Uncle Rooster” to her potential future kids. So I typed it up for her and sent her the Notes App of it for fun, but ended up liking it enough to share on here!

It’s the only AU I have where they still haven’t made their way to each other yet, and I wouldn’t mind getting to finally close that loop and write the story of how they together in that timeline too!

36. Have you ever written a fic because you were inspired by a song?

I got that ask in another one too! But I did have another one pop into my mind!

Bad Idea definitely was influenced by its namesake! A little angsty and a lot of sexy!

I feel like I got an ask about someone requesting a jealous Bradley fic, and I got so swept up in it that I wrote it in like 4 days (which is very speedy for me). But I loved the idea of Bradley being hung up on a girl and not over it after being dumped, and then being jealous when he sees her on a date with another man. And now that that man is a don’t think, just do kind of man now, well he’s good at finding trouble 💁🏼‍♀️

And these lyrics definitely played their part in it! I mean!

Tryna get control of it//Why can't I let go of it?

I got a bad idea//Forget about it, yeah, forget about him, yeah

(I 💖 Bad Decision Bradley, lolol)

FANFIC ASK GAME

[wonderlandleighleigh]

anything with lily!!!

At four, Lily looks quite a lot like Esther did, though Esther has their mother's blue eyes, while Lily's are her father's hazel, and one of Lenny's very favorite things is to watch the kids together.

It'd be easy, with the big age gap between Lily and her siblings, for the older kids to ignore her, but they never, ever do. Sure, Ethan (15 and making noises about dating), Kitty (14 and starting to get way too fucking smart) and Esther (eleven, and as outspoken as ever), have their their own things going. Baseball practice and the school paper and orchestra rehearsals, but when they're home, Lily is their favorite person.

On Sunday nights, they watch the Wonderful World of Disney together, and takeout, Ethan old enough to be in charge when Midge and Lenny have work. After dinner, they all sprawl out with their homework on the living room floor and play music while they work, and Lily plays with her dolls, pulling her siblings into the narrative every so often.

They've loosened up at family dinners, too, though Joel, Moishe and Abe are still not in favor of having all the kids sit with the grown-ups, but Lenny loves it. Especially because Lan is there, too, and the kids are all goofy and weird and snappy and clever.

"We should get a boat," Lan tells all of them. "Lenny and Ethan fishes and we can swim!"

"You're not swimming in the Hudson," Abe tells the seven-year-old. "We don't know what's in the Hudson."

"Probably a lot of people your grandparents didn't like very much," Ethan jokes.

Mei laughs, startled, while Joel narrows his eyes at his oldest son.

"You gotta?" he asks.

"It was a good joke," Ethan argues.

Joel rolls his eyes and turns to Midge. "You got anything to say to your son?"

"Oh, so when he makes wildly inappropriate jokes about mafia hits, it's my fault?" Midge asks.

Joel nods. "Yes."

Midge nods back. "Actually, that's fair. Ethan. Not at the dinner table. Save it for dessert."

"Sure, Ma."

"Real nice," Joel grumbles.

Lily giggles, though everyone knows she's too young to understand exactly what she's laughing at.

"Oh, is something funny?" Noah asks his little niece, reaching out to tickle her. "I'll give you something funny."

Lily giggles and squirms, and Astrid laughs, while Chaim (eight and too smart) reaches out to help with the tickling.

"Not too much, she'll throw up," Rose warns, looking mildly amused at the spectacle.

"Yes, let's not end the night with vomit," Midge agrees.

"This is why the children should eat in the kitchen," Abe grumbles.

"The kitchen in our apartment isn't big enough for all six kids to eat comfortably without one of them sitting on the counter," Lenny tells him. "And this is too much fun."

"Sure. Fun," Joel grumbles.

"Cheer up, Joely," Shirley tells her son, patting his hand. "These dinners aren't half as horrible as they were when you and Midge first separated."

"And nothing ever will be," Moishe agrees. "And it's...not so bad having all the kids around. God knows Esther holds her when in a debate."

Esther smiles proudly, and Lenny knows that she'll make a hell of a lawyer one of these days. He nudges her and grins with pride. "Lookit you, impressing the hardasses at the table."

Esther giggles and shoves at his face as he ruffles her hair.

Kitty beams happily and rests her head on Midge's shoulder. "I like eating with everybody. It feels nice."

Midge strokes her hair away from her face and kisses her temple. "Well I like having you all around the table."

"Where's Auntie Susie?" Lily asks, now perched on her uncle's knee and eating some of the leftover rice on his plate.

"Auntie Susie had to go to one of her client's gigs tonight," Midge explains. "But she said to eat an extra apple tart for her for dessert."

Lily's eyes go wide with excitement. "Two apple tarts?"

"Oh, she'll definitely throw up from two," Astrid chimes in.

"We'll split a second one, kiddo," Noah promises. "And then we'll look at the big plant book Papa Abe got you for Hanukkah."

"Flower book!" Lily squeaks happily.

"Midge, you gave birth to a nerd," Joel teases.

"The best nerd," Midge beams, glancing at Lenny.

He grins back and steals one of Esther's carrots, getting him whacked in the arm, making him and the rest of the able laugh.