#drawing sporty girls makes me so happy

[elfiore]

In the skies, we'll never see no limits それは誰にもわからない It's what you say, that makes me keep believing in 呼吸するような愛情

[nuctoria]

ok ok I'm starting to be a pain... Luigi's harem opinion again but with children, like fanchild or AU (with Bowser it won't be difficult)

First of all, you are not a pain, you are the only person that ever gives me asks or requests and as a new account here I love answering them. Plus, you ask me about things I can ramble on for hours, what more can one ask for? Also, I actually have ideas for fankids for both Mario and Luigi but I'm more hesitant with Luigi cause they are a very big stretch to canon Luigi.

Daisy: when I first go back to the fandom as a teen, I was hooked on this ship and did actually make a fanchild for them, drew her, made a story on Wattpad and everything. The fanchild was a girl and was named Lana, she looked like her dad with some traits of her mom and got involved with ghosts to but she was less afraid of boos and more wary or uneasy. She is sporty like her mother but calm and introverted like a father in a less shy way, best believe she got his snarky tongue when annoyed. She begs her father to tell her about the human world and her family on his side as they don't come often and they don't really go to the human world. Much to both parents' relief she was born with great strength like Daisy instead of thunderhand like Luigi.

Peasley: I saw a post that said that children in Bean Bean Kingdom come from the ground but I kept wondering how the child would be biologically related to the parents and claim right to it (I think it was @pianokantzart but it wasn't please tag whoever it was). I'll headcanon that the parents prepare the soil for the baby and somehow create a seed or bean that will spout into a child underground, I can think of the details later. If that's the case then the child won't be blood related to Luigi but he will still raise it with Peasley as his own since they both wanted to be parents and planned this together so the child is as much to Luigi as it is to Peasley. The sprouting of the child will be celebrated like never before, it will be cherished and dotted on by everyone in the kingdom. The two fathers could not be more happy and the grandmother never wants to leave their side, giving them all the tips under the sun on how to care for it and raise it. While it is a royal, Luigi suggests giving them the opportunity to get close to their people and make friends with local children and have fun playing like a normal kid. The kid loves music and tried to learn multiple instruments, its favourite being the trumpet from how fun it sounds. They also got a green thumb (literally-) from their fathers as they like plants a lot, giving their friends and loved ones roses or other flowers they can get their hands on after seeing how happy and flustered Luigi gets when Peasley surprises him with a rose.

Dreambert: Dreambert actually started asking for a child after he started having dreams of how life would be if they had one and craved for it more and more each day. Luigi didn't need much convincing as he's always wanted a family of his own and that's how they adopted their son. This lil guy is as shy as Luigi and as quiet as a mouse. Even so, the two could not be happier to have adopted him, showering him with unconditional love and affection and helping him be less shy so he can enjoy the world. He loves reading about mythical creatures and often explores Somnom Woods in search of a new discover, which is usually weird rocks, plants or other trinkets he finds while exploring. Naps all over the place, with a stuffy if he carries it with him. Loves moths and will follow them around in Somnom Woods when he sees them. When he's around 10 he carries a little notepad to draw the pattern on the wings.

Bowser: this dude has 8 kids, they don't need no more, Luigi is the proud stepmom on these mini koopas. He plays with them, he teaches them new things, he cooks for them and bakes them treats, keeps them in line when possible, is there for them when they're feeling down and has great fashion tips for Wendy. He loves those kids and they love him back equally, but it took some time for them to get used to him at first, especially since he's Mario's brother, their biggest enemy. Even now that they've settled it, it's weird having Mario as their uncle but they are slowly warming up to him too. Idk what else to add here tbh cause it's not the first time this family dynamic has been talked about since the movie so I can't say much about it.

King Boo: boos that are on the more neutral side and don't exactly hang around King Boo's territory have treated Luigi without hostility and some have really warmed up to him so when they come by to see him, Luigi treats them like his children and spoil them with Boo Candy. While in a relationship with KB, Luigi tried to teach the boos to be more well mannered and not target his friends all that much, failing most of the time since many take great pride and joy in their scares. The boos that did keep him company but are under KB's command after the relationship failed and the hatred started, they couldn't go see Luigi to see how he's doing nor did they want to hurt him so they tried to find ways to not be selected by their king in his schemes. The neutral boos visited him instead and tried to support him through this, either through comfort or bringing him things that might help. Either way, Luigi loves the boos with all his heart, no matter how cruel KB decided to be to him.

Antasma: they will most likely adopt like with Dreambert. They found a colony of bat pups somewhere and no other adult bat was with them or would come for hours while they chirped and cried for food so Antasma's instincts kicked in and he fed them, which got to imprint on him as a result. And so they took the colony in and the family was created. Antasma had to teach Luigi how to properly care for them and he was the many parent that educated and trained the children, so they are much closer to Antasma, but they still really love Luigi. Much like their bat father, the babies cling to Luigi like koalas all the time to the point Luigi goes about life with his winged children on his back and shoulders, accepting his role as the colony's personal perch. They still do it when older and with Antasma for fun and old time's sake which Luigi loves in all honesty. He was a nervous wreck when caring for them as babies and wasn't sure if he was following Antasma's instructions correctly but eventually he calmed down and showered them with love and care. The colony will most likely be of 5 bats max, can't see it being more than that.

Dimentio: This is probably the hardest one to imagine a child for, why? Cause Dimentio doesn't seem to give off parental vibes and if he was to be a father, he's still very much unstable and not the safest. I see this dynamic being Luigi as the actual parental figure and Dimentio being the fun yet reckless parental figure, but he may be more serious and give proper advice if the child has magic that is similar to his own. They both love the kid, but Luigi is the one fusing about them more since Dimentio doesn't think he should intervene unless the kid is critically injured or in active danger. He probably pulls pranks on Luigi with the child or cause some mayhem with them, teaching about the different worlds, about magic, showing them magic tricks and so on, it's his way of showing his affection. Luigi tries to teach Dimentio on how to use more common methods to take care of the child but the things that aren't logical, basic necessities he finds dull and pointless so they have disagreements on that. I'll be honest and say that this ideology is based on @lizadale Dimentio and it started making sense to me if I thought about it more deeply.

That's all I have for now so I hope this is good enough. Go ahead and object on anything if you find it wrong.

[kbthebearcat]

Art from January! WALL OF TEXT INCOMING (I copied and pasted the desc I typed out on DA hgngh…) I looked up poses for some of the characters that inspire me when it comes to Troy’s character and his world.

The ones I picked here are Fred from Scooby Doo, Doyle from Galaxy High, and StarLord from Guardians of the Galaxy. 

All of these character I feel share similar traits and energy. All of them can be goofy and silly or like to crack jokes,  and even have similar physical characteristics. Fred is usually depicted as being a bit out of touch and does some pretty unexpected and funny things, also gives off “himbo” vibes. His actions or methods to catch the bad guy can seem unorthodox, but still work. Overall just quirky, but means well. I see Troy as that too. Unless it’s a very serious situation, Troy’s silliness and goofiness is going to come out while he’s on the job and in uniform, but that doesn’t mean you can’t count on him to get the job done.

In the more recent stuff they show Fred to have an obsession with nets and traps, and that reminds me of Troy and his love for tacos. He also just gets excited or really happy about certain things in general, which makes me think of Troy too, because he can get like that about things. I could have chosen a lot of poses and expressions with Fred tbh, but I saw him making that one in a clip I was looking at, and I just got an urge to draw it. 

I haven’t gotten to watch every episode of Galaxy High yet, (there aren’t that many as the show didn’t last too long) but from what I’ve seen, there’s a lot of elements in there that inspire me, not just the main character. The overall plot of him and another human girl from earth being chosen to attend a high school in space is already interesting to me. There’s aliens of all kinds co-mingling, futuristic tech, space-related hijinks, and just good-ole 80s vibes! Which of course, I always enjoy. 

Doyle himself is pretty much a jock. Not an extreme one, but I’d consider him being in the category. He’s sporty/athletic, plays football. That reminds me of Troy because he’s athletic and sporty too and plays basketball. That’s why I thought that pose there would be a good one to try.

They make Doyle out as meaning well too, but since he’s a teenager his choices aren’t always the best. There’s usually a lesson to learn at the end of an episode. Even though Troy isn’t a teenager, he’s still a young adult, and can honestly still act like a teen or big kid anyway.

ALSO Doyle works as waiter at a diner, and Troy works as a waiter at a restaurant when in hooman disguise! I didn’t even know about Galaxy High when I made that a thing for Troy, so I thought that was an interesting similarity as well. I’m tempted to draw Troy in the outfit Doyle wears just for the fun of it.

Annd then we have Starlord, who may be the least surprising choice here…. He’s a part of a group called “Guardians of the Galaxy”. They travel around space helping people, fight bad guys… and there’s some comedic flare thrown into the mix. I mean, that’s pretty much Troy’s concept in a nutshell. Starlord himself reminds me of Troy in a lot ways. I could see Troy listening to oldies music while in his ship, or exploring a planet, jamming out and all that. Cracking jokes while he’s fighting with something or someone. All that stuff. 

Whew boy, uh… sorry for this wall of text here. If you made it to the end of this then kudos to you haha. ;w; Just felt like giving a bit of explanation for each character here… there’s many more characters that have inspired me with Troy though. 

Also this was a experiment here, taking screenshots or looking up pics of characters that inspire me and trying to redraw their poses/expressions. I gotta do this more. I’ve never really gotten to before but it really helps with going out of my comfort zone and exploring a character more. 

[trenchcoatsbi]

(excitedly running to the blog like im a teenage girl in a high school movie telling her friends hot gossip)

GOOD NEWS . I GOT A(n in-sys) BOYFRIEND AAAAAAAA (positive)

he's from the same source as me and i think he mightve popped by here to make a request or two before?? hes a sporty boy and hes so friendly and energetic like a big dog and i love him so much. mentally im lying in my bed kicking my feet excitedly and drawing hearts with our initials in em on the margins of my spellbook. /silly

- ⛰️🦁 [luc]

aww that's so sweet!! 'm really happy for ya mate!

[mugeesworld]

Hi~ I was wondering if I could maybe possibly get a one piece and/or HxH match up? 👉👈

I like both women and men (though I’d like to avoid being pared with super young characters like gon/killua) and I myself am genderfluid. My personality type is ENFP and I’m ambivert! I’m a very kind caring person and I love kids and animals! I enjoy games a lot whether they be card games or board games or more sporty games like tennis and fencing! I love crafting and am an artist and I love all mediums including drawing, painting, sewing, and sculpting. I also love cooking and baking for people I love! Having loved ones enjoy my food makes me very happy as well as gifting art that I’ve made for them. One issue though is that I lack self confidence and am extremely insecure so I need someone who is willing to baby me at times. I’m plus sized which doesn’t help my insecurities, but I use things like fun alternative fashions and makeup to make me feel more comfortable in my own skin. I love to cuddle and am a very openly affectionate person. I listen to pretty much every kind of music from opera to metal and everything in between! I’m a very duel sided person as I love frilly cute pastel things like lolita fashion and stuffed animals but at the same time I love macabre things like taxidermy and horror media! Overall I love to try new things and learn about different interests other may have! Thank you so much and I hope this description was good enough!!

Hi there! Thank you for requesting!! You sound like such a cool person!! I'll do both hxh and one piece. And do one boy and one girl! Have a good day ♥︎♥︎♥︎

I think you belong with.....

Drum roll!!! 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Robin!

I think she would just adore you!!! :D

Robin would find it adorable how you like kids and animals so much. She can't help but smile when seeing you get all excited when seeing one. She finds your almost "parental" like personality with them cute.

She would definitely enjoy a good card game with you also. She looks like the type to be VERY good at poker.

She would like to just watch you as you paint/draw. She enjoys spending quality time with you even if it's silent while you draw and she reads. It brings her a sense of comfort.

When you gift her your art it makes her absolutely crazy! She might keep a calm expression but on the inside she is flipping out! And if you gift her something like a book mark you painted..... It's over. She's passed away. She absolutely LOVES IT.

Every little gift you give her she will cherish. Definitely had a shelf/chest filled with everything. And she makes sure to dust it and keep it clean if it's a sculpture.

Would love to taste your food. She seems like the type to secretly have a sweet tooth.

She loves how you just learn and pick up all these different activities. How you're so full of ambition to try new things!

And she would just not understand how you lack self confidence. Like she would be utterly confused. She can't get it into her mind how you feel this way. It just doesn't make sense to her cause to her.... You're perfect!

She would definitely give you all the reassurance you need. Robin is the type of person that just throws whatever on. She could care less. But she would love to just sit on yalls bed and watch your little fashion shows you do for her when trying to find a outfit or showing her your makeup. She would do a little clap when you find the perfect outfit. Even though she thinks you look good in anything.

She would like how affectionate and "clingy" you are. Would hold your hand or let you rest your head on her lap while she reads. Her favorite cuddling position is when y'all lay on yalls sides, facing each other. And you rest your head on her chest. She likes holding you!

I think y'all would be perfect for each other cause robin on one hand is very fem and dresses in cute outfits! Has a very "girly" side but also this mysterious dark side to her. (If that makes sense....)

I could see her taking you to both a cute hello kitty cafe or like a museum. Or a zoo! Any place to roam around and learn!

Phinks!

Phinks is not talked about a tone! A bunch of people think he is mean but on hxh's page it says that phinks has a kind and loyal heart! And I believe that! And that's why I think he would be perfect for you!

Phinks would like the way you're always up for a challenge when trying something new. The way you want to learn and take on new things is one of the many reasons he was drawn to you.

Phinks definitely has a soft spot for animals. He has a soft spot in general. And even though he tries to hide it. Having this tough guy act always on. He always had a soft spot for you. He is the type to switch up like. "Yeah what's up dawg" to "Hi baby how was your day? :D" when talking to his friends compared to you.

You bring out a side in him that no one else can. Cause you make his heart melt! (Is that cringe? Idk. Oh well)

He is always down for a game of cards too. Little off topic but he gives off big gambling addict vibes 💀

Just like robin he loves to watch you work. Watching you draw/paint is like watching one of those satisfying video compilations on YouTube. Always pops in while you're working to bug you saying "watcha doingggg?"

Would grab your art and look at it while noding acting like he's a professional artist or something. Like. "Yes yes. Very interesting. I like what you did with the swirl right here it really makes it pop!"

When you give him your art work he definitely brings it to show the troop and brags about it.

And when you bake for him?!??? He's in love. Makes him melt. Like if you pack his lunch or something while he has a troop meeting he will once again show it to everyone and when they say that looks good and asks for some. He immediately gets defensive. Will literally fight anyone that gets near it.

The troop definitely likes you also. Especially your baking. Would always as phinks to ask you if you would make cookies for them or something.

Phinks would just absolutely love your body. Theirs no other way to say it! He looks like the type of guy to want a plus size partner.

Would mess with your makeup stuff while asking questions. Will pick up like a eyelash curler and immediately start asking millions of questions. Would probably think it's a large toe nail clippers or something 💀

Also just like robin phinks is quick to get ready. He doesn’t care how he looks. And he doesn’t care how you look either cause he finds you hot with whatever on. But if you get a new outfit or something he would definitely show you off

He absolutely loves showing you off like the treasure you are. Would treat you like a delicate piece of art. Would make you do a little spin in your cute outfit when you’re finally ready.

Home boy would praise the ground you walk on. Their is no room for insecurities with this man. Cause he just adores you.

And cuddling? LOVES. HE LOVES IT. Makes him so happy when you ask to cuddle. Would probably full on dive on top of you into bed if he sees you laying down. Cause he just loves a good hug.

Any position. He don’t care. But I think he would like laying on your stomach with him inbetween your legs while you’re on your back or like the position I mentioned earlier with robin except he is the one laying on your chest.

He would probably be very clingy. Your personal space is his.

I can imagine phinks listening to that bimbo (I’m not saying your a bimbo!) music and just absolutely vibing. Definitely a Forced too: wsg fam. Born to: Haii! >_<

I hope that makes sense. Cause I made myself laugh very hard imagining that.

He dig your cute pink side and your sorta horror creepy side.

And you best believe you never buying yourself something ever again m. He would absolutely SPOIL you. Wether he would pay for it or steal it!

Phinks with a pastel, pink, cute, Lolita s/o just sounds so cute and funny. Cause it like polar opposites.

Definitely the type to be protective over you when out in public or something. Always has your back. And will throw hands for his bay💪

I’m gonna link a guys TikTok below that reminds me a bunch of how I think phinks would act with.

His @ is: latinaluvr

He’s such a funny and cool guy. Def go check him out.

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hello, can i have a haikyuu match-up, please?! 💕 I hate my real name, so I go by Des lol, I use her/she pronouns, I'm a straight girl, I'm a taurus & a estp

Appearance wise, I'm pretty tall for a girl. I think I'm like 5'10 ". I have dark brown eyes & naturally curly & long dark brown hair, but I dye my hair unnatural colors pretty often, I have a slim figure & tan skin, I'm of mixed ethnicity.

When it comes to personality, I'm kinda shy & soft-spoken at first, but if you're around me long, you'll see how awkward & kinda strange I am,

I'm really playful sometimes in a cute & bubbly way other times in a spontaneous & mischievous sort of way, I've been told I'm pretty funny

I'm really curious, I love talking about things that interest me & learning about things that interest others, I'm always asking questions

I speak my mind & I'm emotionally honest, sometimes lil too direct for others, but I try to be a more tactful

I'm independent & can be pretty stubborn. I'm not a big fan of authority or being told things, I can also be a little competitive

I'm pretty artistic. My hobbies consist of mainly creative disciplines & art is something I'm really passionate about. I love talking about it & just being around creativity in general

I'm very adaptable. I'm the kind of person who doesn't take themselves too seriously & can be friends with whoever, you just have to get over my detached exterior lol

My hobbies include dance, I love dance, and it's something I want to do professionally, I love to draw & and sew. I actually make my own clothes, love to read, I always have a book on me & i hang out at libraries a lot, I love cooking, but there's a 50% chance it won't taste good (lol. I'm still learning) I like physical & sporty stuff too, I skateboard, I play soccer & volleyball, tennis & and I do motocross. I also have a suckered adrenaline pump activities like skydiving & trampoline parks, & laser tag, I'm also a huge gamer

Hi Des! Thank you for your request! I hope you like your matchup!

In Haikyuu, I match you with...

Asahi is definitely your best match in Haikyuu! You're similar enough that you get along easily while being different enough that you bring out the best in each other.

Greatly values your emotional honesty. Asahi can tend to overthink sometimes so if you tell him how you're feeling, he won't have to worry so much about you not being happy with an aspect of your relationship.

Asahi has a reputation as a scary person so if people don't know you two particularly well, they'll worry that he's pressured you into a relationship. More than one elderly lady has come up to you asking if you're okay.

The reality couldn't be further from the truth and as soon as people get to know you both better, they see what a great couple you are.

You and Noya would also be really close but I think you'd be better friends than romantic partners. He sometimes tags along on what are meant to be dates. Neither you or Asahi mind though; he brings a certain level of chaos that can liven up any situation.

Loves listening to you talk about your hobbies. He thinks you're amazing when you're deep in thought or conversation regarding things you're passionate.

Asahi also loves watching you work on your latest artistic projects. He might have a go at painting or drawing alongside you but for the most part, he'll leave it up to you.

I see Asahi as someone who is pretty good at cooking so he'd love to have cooking dates with you. You'll both pick out a recipe and work on it together. You've so far had a pretty good success rate!

[wuahae]

haaaiiii im back :3 Ready to get stuffed!

(He hugs Jihoon, too, since you all practically grew up together. Is that your gun, or are you just happy to see me? Jeonghan jokes. Jihoon’s reply: It’s my gun. It’s always my gun.) 

HE IS SOOOOSDFMSDFMSDFLDFK

Here, the streets are lined with dense cherry plum trees, wine-stained and fragrant. They frame driftwood-paneled shop windows housing kitschy art galleries, mom-and-pop bakeries, and patioed bistros with striped awnings. 

unfortunately you know my struggle with descriptions intimately well so as per course i Will always give you your flowers when you just casually cook up imagery like this... your brain is so big.. imagination so wide.

“I was busy, cricket.” He holds up a copy of Complete Advanced Piano Solos and wrinkles his nose. He's hoping you’d laugh with him about it, but you’ve already moved on, now fixated on the shining columns of electric guitars. “I wanted to ask about, you know, all the new stuff going on.” 

this makes me sooo like. clutches throat. like the love is so clearly there but there is just so many things in the past and in between and in the future that neither of you know how to navigate the new relationship... jeonghan who just wants his little sister back and yn who just wants her big brother to be the way he Used to but neither of you are the same version of yourselves that you miss... ohhh......

The arranged marriage I'm doing for you? I split my heart open for you, and that’s the thanks I get? 

ouu....... well its true .!

Yesterday, though, as you were winding down for bed, Joshua had come out of the shower, damp white tee and all. A sorry, unspeakable part of you willed you to posit—Hey, maybe we need a refresher? You couldn’t even get halfway through your sentence. Hell, his glasses even came off.

B-B-B-B-BUSINESS PROPOSAL?!?!?!?!!

A hesitant A major chord, then G major, offkey. Hm, he hums aloud. Then you notice his phone propped on a pillow, a Youtube tutorial rumbling in the background. He tries the G major again. Better, he says, pumping a fist into the tired air. 

OHHHHHH MY GOD............. i need him bad........ also the subtle changing.. Yeah. also the fact that you bought the guitar for him is so fucking cute like. UGHHHH they're learning to love each other.

“Have you ever been in love before?” 

josh initiating the heart-to-heart...

There is an impossible hollowness inside you. You imagine Joshua, twenty-one and bright-eyed at Cambridge, hiding beneath the arch of the cobblestone bridge, the long one behind the quad, to carve hearts into the limestone. There's a girl wrapped in his jacket, her laughter like bells. She draws him close, runs a delicate hand through his hair, a shorter cut, more sporty than it is now. The night is still just as kind, forgiving, as it is now, and the moon still round like a young pearl.  / “Because it would mean that it didn’t end in vain. That it wasn’t really my fault.” 

FUCK.......... fuck...... joshua......... also just to talk about this scene Here i just. really like this scene. like ik i said the piano scene is my fav but This scene is honestly tied as my fav i think you perfected the quaintness and like. fond somberness. so well. the quiet speech, the long silences filled by narration, short sentences that almost seem like they're overstepping but theyre Not.. not when they're being said into the open quiet air like this. not when theyre being said to each other... FUCK!!! i Am a visual reader you know this and when i tell you i can picture this scene perfectly in my head. i think i said this before in my First review but you really have a way of forming sentences that make my brain chew on the cadence... very satisfying. i love this scene a lot. i love josh and yn a lot.

It’s getting cold, the twilight breeze now coming in from the sea. A silence, now sticky, caustic, settles between the two of you. The thought of Joshua, hopelessly in love, a line you hadn’t even dared to cross, seems to wind itself deep into your neurons. 

like this is so good... winds itself deep into your neurons...... dawg you are winding THIS into my neurons. also idk. i like how it paints a softer image of joshua that yn would never have imagined before,,, i love when onions peel back more layers!! also the kiss that undos all the other ones. like its the first time because it is.. the first time they mean it. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Kinda, you had replied noncommittally. All Jeonghan did lately was start his sentences with remember, like he wanted you to forget who he was now.

MAN. MAN!!!! they just make me soooo sad and tender i love sibling duos so bad...

Like all of your great ideas, it began in the back of a car. 

PLAY THROAT GOAT BY KIM PETRAS HELL YEAH

Now things are more confusing than late-stage Grey’s Anatomy, but good luck explaining that over the phone.

HELPWMEMSFDLKDFSFD

Under the cornflower sky of a near-autumn, the forest seems endless. A flock of geese split the sky in two; a warm breeze haunts the canopy, scattering the afternoon light. The dirt under you is soft, peaty from the morning rain. The hoofbeats are silent today.  Jeonghan’s horse slows so that you ride side-by-side. 

leaning back in my rocking chair with a cup of tea in my hand and a throw blanket over my lap... how nice...

“Maybe,” he chuckles. “But the rest—definitely my fault. I made myself busy because I felt like I had to.”  You’re growing to really hate that word. Jeonghan had to grow up, Joshua had to break up with his first love, you had to learn to pick up all the pieces of both of these things and try to fit them back into your life.  “You didn’t even look back.”  “I was scared, cricket. That if I kept looking back, I wouldn't be able to go forward. And I didn’t want to leave you behind, but I did. I think there was a happy middle somewhere, I just couldn’t find it.” 

reading this section with a perpetual ☹️ look on my face... whyyy do i feel like crying MSDFMSDFLKS they make me so tender... siblings can just be so personal. i didn't want to leave you behind but i did... but he's staying for good now. he missed home (you) too much. FUCK! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 also its like therapy for yn idk.. to not be cast aside, to not be forgotten, to be Seen again... man....

“I think the only dancing I know how to do is half drunk in the dark. Can’t exactly throw it back on you in front of God and country.”  Joshua grins, a big one, and you, traitorously, feel your cheeks get prickly.  “I wouldn't want God looking at you like that,” he teases.  “And country’s already seen it all.”  “They should consider themselves very lucky, then.” His eyes meet yours, lit by the scattered light of the chandelier. “It's my turn to ask you to let me lead.” 

he is just SO charming... also things falling into place when you kiss him again. BABY YOU'RE IN LOOOVEEEE

 “I’m sorry, but this is how I feel. I won't let you take another girl I love from me. Not again.” 

SHOCKED PIKACHU..... the devastating L word....

Saying it is like getting peeled back, terrible layer by layer, like you wrapped a hand around your heart and ripped it out your chest. And yet you’re glowing, newly-bitten with something that feels like freedom.   “I thought you said I was perfect,” Joshua says, the pink of his lips already unraveling into a smile. This one, you think, finally reaches his eyes.  “Shush, you—” And amongst a chorus of Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! (which would be, quite frankly, humiliating in any other scenario), you finally give in to your adoring public, and kiss. 

HUUUUUUUU THEYRE SOOOOO CUTE.... YN FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!! i love to see my yns happy i really do... the smile finally reaching josh's eyes too oh my god... YOUR HONOR THEYRE IN LOVE 😭😭😭😭😭😭

“When I first saw you, I knew I would marry you,” he starts. That's a joke he’s probably been saving for months now, but instead of rolling your eyes, you can’t help but laugh, like you’re a broken soundboard. “No, really.” 

GOD HES SO LAAAMEEEMDFSJLSDFKM

He produces a small box. It’s different from the first one, the one he used all those months ago when nothing mattered. Inside it, a new ring, something far simpler and more beautiful. Joshua says your name, wonderful and reverent in his mouth. “Darling princess of Cotria, I'm asking you to marry me. Again.”  And you say yes, for the very first time.

a simpler ring this time.. one that suits you so much better than the glitz and glam of the last one.. something even more beautiful because its Him and its You, actually this time. FUCK!!!!! YOU SAY YES FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME............ OH MY GOD.

ok concluding thoughts. i'm trying to sort my thoughts out cause they're all in a jumble rn but What good writing. What splendid fic. i'm sure this has been said a million times over but i will keep saying it a billion times more but your writing is so Real to me! i feel like everything you put on (metaphorical) paper always adds Something to the fic, whether that be a hidden meaning or atmosphere or just being the Funniest person alive but its always such a treat to read your fic and i will always mean that !! onto thoughts about hte actual fic... i do love paralleling mcs you know this but i love how the entire fic is so centered around yn and like. how she learns to be #Herself, not just someone her parents want or someone her parents Don't want... the plotline with jeonghan is SO good like i think it adds so much to her character arc and personalizes her to the reader so much... like i feel like she's just perpetually hurt the majority of the fic and just hides it well and i don't think you could have gotten that across as well if you didn't have jeonghan in the fic! like genuinely his sections were some of my favorites to read just because of the history between them. tfw u haunt the narrative and ur not even dead...

also JOSHHHHH........ i love how you make him insufferable and lame at the same time HAHAHA the scene with him talking about his first love and how it ended.. how he doesn't want everything to be in vain... GUN to my mouth i started dry heaving... idk i think you made him so raw in the best ways and just so Relatable like he felt so real to me . but to be fair All the characters feel so real to me but i think that is just a testament to how wonderful and solid of a writer you are :]

side mention to jihoon. love him bad. the side characters added so much to the humor to the fic tbh like the worldbuilding was immaculate it felt like acros and cotria were real places. or at least as real as they can get as fake vaguely european nations in romcoms can get HAHAHA i love how they have their own distinct characteristics and how yn and joshua are clearly Products of that environment... Yeah!

also i really like the themes of this fic like maybe it hits home for me but like. the notion that growing up and Duty doesn't always have to be bad... duty is what you make of it! jeonghan who doesn't go sneaking out to trashy parties anymore and learns golf even though he hates it golf and doesn't complain about his sweaty hands or sleeping on airplanes but Also the jeonghan that likes meeting people and travelling and Helping people; josh who still lost his first love but still manages to find another in you, who chooses You again even after he doesn't need to anymore, who learns to play guitar over piano after all this time; and you, who doesn't really go out to parties and advertise yourself as the resident party princess anymore but you find yourself still in acros, in love, a ring on your finger that is simpler, cleaner, more suitable, more beautiful than the one that was chosen for you at first, and you find yourself Choosing josh too... duty and responsibility and even though it isn't what you would have wanted at first, finding the joy in the little things too... finding the things you can choose for yourself .

im genuinely soooo honored to have been here since the beginning and to see it through all the rough drafts and edits and silly text messages about you crashing out... a special thank you for you moving to gdocs for me HDSFJLFSDK and again i'm sorry i took so long and i told you this but im very scared this review is #Lackluster and unfunny and is me just. Repeating things you typed back at you HELP like i Swear i had very Real and Insightful things to say the first time i read this but then i think as the months went on my brain deteriorated and here i am... i wish i could articulate all the ways this fic is so good and scratches the itch in my brain but do NAWTTT take my smoothing brain as an indication that this fic was anything but extraordinary im so serious... you continue to blow yourself out of the water every time Thank you for trusting me to brainstorm and beta for you!!!! it is always my pleasure to get the #lilyexclusive I LOVE YOU 🫵 LILY HUSBANDHOSHI! (joshi? we'll see when april rolls around again...)

title: royally screwed [m]

pairing: joshua x f!reader

wc: 30.8k in total; part 1: 15.4k, part 2: 15.4k summary: between remembering last night’s party and pleasing your unrelenting family, you think being a princess is hard enough. then you’re thrust into an arranged marriage to royal darling joshua hong—straight-laced, infuriatingly obedient, and everything you’re not. pretending to be the perfect couple? impossible.   notes: romcom + smut (part 2), modern royalty!au in which yn is the princess of cotria/joshua the prince of acros (both fictional), enemies to lovers, arranged marriage, quarterlife crisis/coming of age, very very slow burn. lots of swearing, lots of alcohol, lots of feelings. [read part 1 here!] (please)

You decide June looks good on Acros. Unlike in Cotria, now sure to be perspiring with tourists, the downtown here is comfortable, inviting, even. At home, you’d be shoulder-to-shoulder with three other people right now. 

This is one of the things you like about this country: it seems to be intentionally idyllic. It’s becoming more clear to you that Joshua’s parents weren’t actually in need of anything from you other than a status boost. You suppose they’re learning the hard way what exactly that comes with.

Jeonghan’s car, or rather, the car Jeonghan happens to be in (he couldn’t drive his way out of a paper bag, try as he might), pulls up to the curb. He’s fresh off a stint of good press, meaning months of speeches, ribbon cutting, and run-ins with parliament and journalists and business moguls all vying for a bite of a future king. You’d add yourself to that list, but you know you’re at the back of the line—you practically live there now, but you’re not sure if things could have happened any other way. 

You watch him step out of the van, never windblown even though he likely just got off a flight. Always with a smile, too, one tired but recognizable, so different from the plasticky ones he wears on TV. 

The first thing he does when he gets out is throw his arms open for a bear hug. “Hey, cricket,” he says, voice wrought with jet-lag. “Missed you.” 

“Glad you had time for one more stop,” you murmur, squeezed into the million-thread count of his shirt. 

“I always have time for you,” he replies, which is decidedly untrue, but you don’t have it in you to say that. All you do lately is get into arguments, and you’re not looking to add your brother to your hit list. 

(He hugs Jihoon, too, since you all practically grew up together. Is that your gun, or are you just happy to see me? Jeonghan jokes. Jihoon’s reply: It’s my gun. It’s always my gun.) 

The second thing he does is push the brim of your baseball cap down.

“The paps,” he warns, as if they were the boogeyman.  

“If they can’t recognize us, they need to get better at their job.” Jeonghan rolls his eyes. “For God’s sake, Jeonghan, we’re all wearing matching hats.” 

No, you are not kidding. Jeonghan, blue, you, red, and Jihoon, green, a la The Powerpuff Girls, which was a joke you made about six years ago and could not let go of. 

“Whatever,” he laughs. “Aren’t you supposed to be showing me around? This is your domain now.” 

“Don’t get excited. I just got here.” 

“What do you need to go shopping for, anyway?” he asks, now walking side-by-side with you. 

“I ask that question every day,” Jihoon replies, glancing at Jeonghan as if to say Women, right?, save for the fact that the both of them have exactly zero game. 

“Somi’s birthday!” you exclaim, two ticks too loudly. “Stuff, I dunno. Just trying to get used to this place.” 

“This isn’t exactly Rodeo Drive, you know.” 

That, Jeonghan is right about. You’re sure there must be a shopping district somewhere in Acros, but definitely not here. Here, the streets are lined with dense cherry plum trees, wine-stained and fragrant. They frame driftwood-paneled shop windows housing kitschy art galleries, mom-and-pop bakeries, and patioed bistros with striped awnings. 

An elderly couple passes you. They smile and wave, visible even under the shade of their parasol, either blissfully unaware of your status or too wise to care. 

“I know,” you waver. “Whatever. I'll just get Yunjin to find me something for the party.” 

Your eye wanders to the jaunty facade of a music store. The sign flaunts handmade, cursive letters with a curly treble clef in the lacquer of old paint. In Cotria, the same sign would be neon, Hollywood-esque, vain. 

“Party?” 

“Let's go there,” you interrupt, hoping to run your big mouth over with some more talking. Of course Jeonghan wouldn’t be cool with any party, nonetheless the one Somi was planning on throwing, but, either by habit or wishful thinking, the news just tumbled right out of you. 

“Party?” Jeonghan repeats. He trails close after you, hoping to grab the door before you can. Such is what he had been taught, after all, which came more naturally than navigating big-brotherhood. “Jihoon?”

Jihoon shrugs, and opens the door before the both of you get there. You’ve trained him well. 

“It’s a small thing,” you tell him. “Close friends only.” It’s not technically a lie—small is relative, and it’s not your fault Somi has two hundred-some close friends.

Inside, you notice the shop is bigger than it looks from the outside. In the front, their nicest pianos: the glossy Yamahas, the baby grands. a lone drum set, on sale, the hi-hat sparkling under the LED lights. And finally, guitars hung from the wall like posters, some lime green and child-sized, others sanded down so the mahogany glows. 

“You already know what I’m going to say,” Jeonghan says, the lilt of his voice verging on not-so-casual. 

“Then don’t say it,” you reply flatly. “You went to those parties too, by the way.” 

“Used to, but—” Jeonghan sighs because he’s beat, and he knows it. 

You absentmindedly flip through a book of sheet music—Alfred's Essentials of Music Theory. behind it, 40 Taylor Swift Songs for Piano. 

“You’ve been good, I hope?” you cut in. “Not too tired?” 

“No,” Jeonghan says.  “I've been great. You?” 

You can’t read his expression. Old Jeonghan would tell you that he’s ready for a nap, that he hates sleeping on airplanes, that his hands still get sweaty when he gets in front of a crowd and the camera flash hurts his eyes. New Jeonghan never complains, either because of some drastic change in his character or because he feels like he can no longer complain to you. Both hurt your feelings in equal measures.

“I called, you know.” 

“I was busy, cricket.” He holds up a copy of Complete Advanced Piano Solos and wrinkles his nose. He's hoping you’d laugh with him about it, but you’ve already moved on, now fixated on the shining columns of electric guitars. “I wanted to ask about, you know, all the new stuff going on.” 

“You mean my arranged marriage?” The words feel stiff in your mouth. 

The arranged marriage I'm doing for you? I split my heart open for you, and that’s the thanks I get? 

You avoid Jihoon’s tentative glare to look at your noodled reflection in the polish of a red Fender. You think of Joshua, of a corny rendition of Here Comes The Sun and a pick between his teeth, cradling a guitar held by a linty, ten dollar strap. 

Then you think of what he said on that piano bench—that somehow he could have prevented this. Actually, this might have been all your fault. One too many shots, and you ended up setting feminism back five centuries. 

“Y-yeah.” You watch Jeonghan’s silhouette appear behind yours. “Has it been okay, at least?” 

Okay is a complicated word to use. It’s hard to say, even for you. 

It would certainly be TMI to tell Jeonghan that you’ve been kissing a lot more often. First it was under the flimsy guise of practice—We have to be ready for our dinner tomorrow, Joshua had said, to which you readily agreed. You couldn’t be the unwilling victim of another headline like KISS OR MISS! It would be terrible for your ego, even more so than your public image. 

Yesterday, though, as you were winding down for bed, Joshua had come out of the shower, damp white tee and all. A sorry, unspeakable part of you willed you to posit—Hey, maybe we need a refresher? You couldn’t even get halfway through your sentence. Hell, his glasses even came off.

You really only liked each other past 9 PM—you still couldn’t quite manage to get through a conversation like normal people. At this point, you had a 50/50 split in terms of who would cast the first terrible stone of petty disagreement. The only thing we have going for us is a dubious physical attraction, seemed like way more of a mouthful than okay, though. 

“Yeah, it’s been okay.” You look around. There's a decent amount of mediocre acoustic guitars on the back wall, more than enough to scratch the itch of someone too afraid to defile something more honorable. “Hey, don’t wait up for me. I think i might buy something.” 

—

[august 10, 2:57 pm; a dress fitting. 

In the ten-foot mirror of the boutique dressing room, you watch Yunjin yank the ties of your corset into a punishing knot. Your mother watches behind you, perched on the chaise. 

“Regal and radiant,” she reads aloud, the shiny cover of a magazine between her hands. “Finally, some good news.” 

“About you and Joshua?” Yunjin asks. 

“Ye–ow!” you wince. “Yeah. We went out to dinner yesterday.” 

The dinner: an exhausting, stuffy affair at an Italian restaurant with two Michelin stars. You came in a nice dress, Joshua in slacks and his best button-up. Smile, wave, a kiss on the cheek. You fed him a spoonful of dessert, a stiff, too-sweet panna cotta. It was either raspberry or strawberry—you were too distracted to really notice. Instead, you’d been practicing the steps, the motions of a true love. 

Should we hold hands over the table? Joshua had asked. 

I don't think we have to. Your hand had curled over the napkin on your lap, as if the thought of his touch physically stung. 

“This is a nice color,” your mother interrupts. She pinches the fabric of the skirt up at your waist, watching the way it bunches over your hips. “It's suitable.” 

Suitable. Right. The dress for your engagement ball, suitable. Just like you, newly suited for the engagement. 

You watch your image in the mirror. It’s taller, more regal, likely the product of Yunjin squeezing all the air out of you, Or worse, the penetrating gaze of your mother over the top of the tabloid.

You blink hard; you waver. ]

[august 20, 10:13 pm; a quiet return to acros after a day at the beach with somi and soonyoung. 

The castle sleeps, warm under the soft glow of candlelight on marble. You pad through the halls, carefully, as to avoid waking the entire country with the thwacks of your still-wet sandals. Hopefully Joshua is sleeping. He'd certainly ask questions, either about if bikini tops really need all that padding or what the SPF of your sunscreen was. 

You approach your room, where the lamplight from the cracked door oozes into the hallway. There's a determined rustling noise coming from the interior. Incriminating. Holding your breath, you cast a long glance into the thin slice of bedroom you can see from where you’re standing. 

There sits Joshua, cross-legged on the bed. Between his legs, the guitar you bought him. It must have finally shipped. He’s tied the gift ribbon it came with to the guitar strap, a woven linen with an offensively bright jacquard pattern. 

A hesitant A major chord, then G major, offkey. Hm, he hums aloud. Then you notice his phone propped on a pillow, a Youtube tutorial rumbling in the background. He tries the G major again. Better, he says, pumping a fist into the tired air. 

God, what a dork, you think. But you don’t walk away.] 

– 

From the garden, the Acrosian moon renders the city blue, like ink from a spilled well. 

It’s quiet out here, you notice. The forest spills into the sky, and the scent of roses lies heavy on your skin. You’re seated on the bench beneath the sculpted gazebo, a worthy centerpiece, and you revel in the coolness of the granite, the bated still of the air. You like this garden better than the one at home, although it’s entirely possible that you’ve been conditioned into hating all topiaries, no thanks to your parents. 

It's only when you hear the quiet click of footsteps behind you that you realize you’ve lost track of how long you’ve been outside. You’re now able to tell them apart–these, Joshua’s, steady and purposeful, sound like they have a heartbeat. 

You don’t turn around to greet him. “So you finally had enough, huh?” you ask instead, sliding to the left so he can sit beside you. 

“How'd you know?” he chuckles. 

“I'd like to think I know at least a little about you.” 

“I appreciate it,” is his reply, surprisingly warm.

Just a few hours earlier, your parents had come to visit. They cooed and giggled and connived alongside Joshua’s parents before launching into a very long, very serious discussion about your engagement ball. You’ve learned not to sweat the small stuff, the small stuff being the color of the napkins, the members of the string quartet, the hors d'oeuvres. But then it got weird: the symbolism of the color of your nail polish, which journalists were allowed to watch you make out, when and how Jeonghan was supposed to announce his presence during all of this. 

Then things got critical, which really sucked. No one was safe this time, not even Joshua. You lasted about an hour, Joshua about forty-five minutes more. You wonder what his breaking point was. Maybe it was his mother finally telling him off for having more than three buttons undone whenever he wore a dress shirt. 

In the silence, you feel an inexplicable peace. Maybe this is the only time you can get along; underneath the same moon, the same stars, the divide doesn’t feel quite as wide. You let your mind clear, first, past the fog of Somi’s birthday bash, glittery and blinding in your mind’s eye, past Jeonghan’s tired shoulders in the music store, past all the magazine covers and photo ops. The heavy reality feels heavier in your stomach, but you’re no longer as scared, although resignation looks like acceptance when you whittle it close enough to the bone. 

“Have you ever been in love before?” 

Joshua’s voice is so low, it takes you by surprise. You look to your side and see his eyes, shaded by the long curl of his lashes, trained on the sky, his expression unreadable. There’s a piercing sincerity to it, one you haven’t seen before. 

“No,” you reply, the answer coming to you faster than any regret ever could. “How could i?” 

“So all the boyfriends before, just…?” he trails off. He's referencing the magazines, all the covers with full size photos of you and the model of the month holding hands by the riviera, sharing a martini, kissing outside a nightclub. There are too many to remember, but you’re surprised he’s aware of any at all. 

“It was just stupid fun. I dunno. We hung out, had sex, whatever. It was never serious. I didn't tell them about anything at all; I was okay with them not really knowing me, at least, not as anything other than a party girl, the runaway princess, etcetera. We didn’t owe each other anything.” 

“Sounds lonely.” 

“Sometimes,” you answer. “But it was fun. I don't regret it. I just never saw room for them in all of this.” 

Joshua hums, low and deep. 

“And you?” you ask, incredulous. “In love?” 

“In university,” he says after a brief pause. “There was a girl. I think I loved her more than I had ever loved anything else before.” 

“What? Who?” you interrupt. “Do I know her?” 

“No.” Then, a quiet chuckle. “No one did. She was a civilian, a normal girl. She wanted to be a biologist, I think. it was either that, or a nurse. We snuck around a lot. Probably more than you did.” 

“Can I ask what happened?” 

“I told her I'd marry her. I thought if I wanted it enough, it would happen. I'd go to my parents, profess my love, and all our rules would fall away somehow. Just like that.” 

Suddenly, it feels like there is a gaping wound in your chest. Every new word seems to draw the bloody edges of your skin further apart. 

“Well, they didn’t,” Joshua continues. “I broke her heart. and I learned that all of this would never go away. Not for love, not for anything.” 

There is an impossible hollowness inside you. You imagine Joshua, twenty-one and bright-eyed at Cambridge, hiding beneath the arch of the cobblestone bridge, the long one behind the quad, to carve hearts into the limestone. There's a girl wrapped in his jacket, her laughter like bells. She draws him close, runs a delicate hand through his hair, a shorter cut, more sporty than it is now. The night is still just as kind, forgiving, as it is now, and the moon still round like a young pearl. 

“And that’s why you’re…you know.” You pause. The words all feel stuck to the roof of your mouth. “You like the rules.” 

“Because it would mean that it didn’t end in vain. That it wasn’t really my fault.” 

“You don’t want to mess up again. I get it.” 

“Yeah.” 

You notice your arms are touching, that they have been touching. Somehow, you don’t want to move away. 

“Why are you telling me this?” you ask.

“Not sure.” Joshua sighs, having fully abandoned the filter he normally speaks to you through. “I don't think we’re so different. I don't know. It feels good to tell someone.” 

“Do you still love her?” 

“No. I don't think I can.” 

“I'm sorry,” you swallow, feeling the familiar lump in your throat. 

“Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault.”

It’s getting cold, the twilight breeze now coming in from the sea. A silence, now sticky, caustic, settles between the two of you. The thought of Joshua, hopelessly in love, a line you hadn’t even dared to cross, seems to wind itself deep into your neurons. 

“No really,” you insist. “I'm sorry. I gave you a hard time—no, I've been giving you a hard time. I didn't know.” 

“You don’t have to do that.” 

“What?” 

“Be nice to me. No one’s watching.” 

“I know,” you say, a foolish conviction rising in your stomach. You almost feel silly, juvenile, for never really baring your heart like how he had. You’re not sure which was worse. 

You turn to look at him, really look at him. He's framed by the haze of the violets, the gentle curtain of the willows. 

“Says the real you?” Joshua asks.

“Yup,” you laugh. “Usually is. You probably get the worst of it, to be honest.” 

“She’s not so bad.” He returns your gaze; it’s honest, unsearching. “According to the real me, by the way.” 

“Really?” 

“Really.” 

There are no words left. In fact, nothing quite says more than the way you now sit together, hands close enough to touch, without quarrel, complaint, or a yearning to prove yourself to some invisible standard. Instead, you enjoy the quiet calm, the way it drapes itself across the garden, the city, the quick of your heart. Now that you think about it, it’s the first time you’ve been able to do this without feeling like you were putting on a show.

This time, you think it’s real when you lean against his shoulder, and he leans back, chasing your warmth.

And it certainly seems to stay real when your hands find each other. You realize he does it the same way every time—the gentle skim of his fingertips down your hand before your palms meet, gently, forthright. 

And it’s here, in the uncertain glow of the summer moon, where you think you’re the closest to ever knowing just what Joshua had been talking about earlier. 

His hand curls around your cheek, holding you, wanting to see you clearer still, and he kisses you. It's not the practiced motion of an ill-conceived love, nor a hungry, blind stumble in your unlit bedroom. No, this time, it's as if you are being drawn back, wonderfully, slowly. Joshua kisses you as if it's the first time, as if to undo all the other times.

And somehow, almost by magic, the fountain song and the phantom photographers, the parents and the press, the world and everything in it, finally draw quiet. 

–

“So,” Jihoon says, reloading his pistol. “You ok? Don’t you hate the range?” 

You push your earmuffs aside to hear him better. “What?” 

“I said, don’t you hate the range?” 

“Well,” you balk. Jihoon puts the gun down and leans against the booth, looking at you from behind the glare of his safety glasses. Behind him is the paper target of a man with five bullet holes through his head. “I think I've gotten used to it.” 

This is all true—you did hate the range, but it’s where you can always count on finding Jihoon on a Sunday afternoon. Better people went to church, but Jihoon preferred to terrorize the poor center circle of a bullseye. 

“Hm.” He picks up the pistol again, stares down its iron sights. “Somi need anything for her birthday?” 

“She needs a new man,” you reply, and Jihoon laughs. 

Bang. Bang. 

“But, no, I'm getting her that vintage Cartier watch she’s been wanting forever. They were auctioning it off in Paris.” 

“Right, since it’s time for her to get a new boyfriend,” Jihoon deadpans, although he can’t quite get it out before he chuckles. “What about Soonyoung?” 

“They cannot get together. You’re just being messy.” 

“Sure, I'm the messy one. Didn’t they sleep together?” 

“That was, like, two years ago. Drunk.” 

Bang. Then a click–the clip’s empty. “By the way—you decided if you’re going to Cotria this weekend? Jeonghan will be back again, you know.” 

You pause, watching Jihoon reload the magazine, shiny bullet by bullet. You definitely know Jeonghan’s coming home—minus all the time you spend on Find My Friends, you were always acutely aware of when he was in town. The real question is if you wanted to see him again. Usually, you’d count down the days, make plans at all your favorite restaurants, buy a bottle of cheap wine to split over a shitty Godzilla movie. That was when you still talked. 

The last time you saw him was when he visited you in Acros. After the music store, you milled around a couple shops, walked through an art gallery. (Remember when you got lost at the Prado? he had asked. You were staring at that painting with all the butts. 

Kinda, you had replied noncommittally. All Jeonghan did lately was start his sentences with remember, like he wanted you to forget who he was now.) 

“I dunno,” is what you land on. “I'm busy.” 

“Well, Jeonghan asked me.” Jihoon takes down his old target and sets up a fresh one, another formless, black silhouette. 

“Asked you what?”

“If I could ask you to come.” 

“Does Josh know?” 

“He actually already helped with arrangements for you to go back,” Jihoon replies, palming the gun again. “He said only if you wanted to, though.” 

The tightness in your chest seems to coil over itself once more. Joshua had asked you about Jeonghan over breakfast one morning, before handing you a coffee and a croissant to soften the blow. You had been talking a lot more lately, which, somehow, you didn’t mind. If he wasn’t making fun of you, he was actually a decent listener. 

You watch Jihoon steady his arms. 

Bang. Bang. Bang. 

–

Like all of your great ideas, it began in the back of a car. 

Surprising, maybe. Accidental? Never. 

You’re getting ahead of yourself, though. It really started earlier tonight, at the charity event you attended with Joshua. 

Lesser beings would blame the wine, a cheap chardonnay only fit for sorority girls on a Friday night. Naturally, you and Joshua were responsible for downing about half the bottle—a fun amount, you’d like to say, although you admit you were surprised at your date’s ability to hold his alcohol. 

You, however, can peg the real culprit: a reasonably slutty dress, removed from the annals of Somi’s closet, back when she was less of a Paris Hilton and more of a Princess Diana. 

The evidence: damning. As you were getting ready—Can you zip me up? you had asked Joshua, fiddling with the rollers in your hair, already a generous ten minutes late. Then the slow, lingering skim of his touch, molasses up the hollow of your spine. At dinner, a warm hand on your knee. You didn’t hang around much longer after that, but walking to the car was a wondrous excuse for the flat of his palm to find the small of your back, fondly, comfortably, as if you had known each other for years. 

Since you had spoken in the garden, certainly you had acted like more of a couple. It came more naturally, likely due to the fact that you had no idea if you were actually a couple or not. You suppose it doesn’t matter at the end of the day. Well—sort of.

Now, you’re just being obtuse. What you’re really trying to do is explain how your hand found its way down Joshua’s pants in the back of your limousine. And still, found is too generous of a word. But you digress. 

The short version: you kissed Joshua. Jihoon parked the car out back, you had gotten tired of Joshua glancing at you through the side of his eyes, and you kissed him. Regrettably, this hasn’t gotten boring yet. You enjoy the way he searches for your touch, the part of his soft lips. 

Sometime between the third and the tenth time your tongue found its way into Joshua’s mouth, Jihoon removed himself from the situation—he was always good at that part. Two wandering hands later, your palm skimmed over the front of Joshua’s slacks. No big deal, except he was half-hard and he moaned in your mouth like he was doing the ad-libs in a Cupcakke song. 

“Whoops,” you had babbled. This whole night, you’d been searching for the brakes on the clown car winding through the horny fog of your horrible, vexed mind. 

“Fuck, sorry,” Joshua replied just as quickly, the words seeming to slip back down his throat. 

Then you had stared at each other and blinked, hard, as if that would erase the fact that, one, the prince of Acros had just cursed approximately half an centimeter from your face, and two, you’d now crossed a bridge that could not be uncrossed. 

You could no longer lie to yourself about the fact that you are hopelessly attracted to Joshua. You don’t even know if you want to lie anymore. You still thought of the time you ran into him, birthday suit and all, all those weeks ago in the bathroom. And, yes, you had wondered how big he was, although you blame Somi for planting that evil idea in you. 

Hence, with God as your witness (since Jihoon was no longer there), you had said, “I can help, you know. If you want.” 

You didn’t expect Joshua to nod so quickly. Then again, you now know yourself to be a poor judge of most things, especially ones relating to whatever this is. 

“Do you want to?” he had asked, eyes fogged over. 

“Yes. really.” Then you stopped. “Is this your first—”

“No. Does it really seem like it?” 

Okay. You’ll have to unpack that later. 

So, finally, here you are. Somewhere along the line, your shame had fallen to the wayside, and a new desire now rocks you. 

“Could’ve just asked earlier,” you tease, thumbing the buckle of Joshua’s belt. 

“Should’ve known you’re not one for subtlety,” he laughs softly, his eyes fixed on how you undo the clasp. It’s a silly comment, but all the blood still rushes to your cheeks at the idea of him wanting you not just now, but all night. “Next time.” 

“Really now.” The button at his waistband proves difficult with your new nails, so you instead sit your hand on the tent in his pants, palm him over the fabric. “You’d let me do this in the washroom of a charity ball?”

Delightfully, you watch him squirm. He doesn’t fight you, instead, uses his hands to bring you closer so you can feel his voice on your skin. “You’d be surprised,” he replies. 

“His highness,” you say before returning to the wretched button, “Fooling around at a formal event? Scandalous.” 

“Says the walking scandal,” Joshua laughs again, nipping at your earlobe. Then a sigh, breathy and tortured, as you finally peel back his slacks. 

“Isn’t this about the time where you be quiet and let me do my thing?”

“Is that an order?” 

“Yeah, since you seem to like them so much.” 

He opens his mouth to complain, but you’ve beaten him to the punch. Skin meets skin; you watch his eyes flutter shut, the slow fall of his shoulders as he exhales. 

Fuck, you think to yourself. If that’s all it takes for him to get hard— you force the thought back to where it came from. You’re getting ahead of yourself. Already, you’re reveling in the lewd image before you: the nation’s darling prince, legs spread and slack-jawed in the back of a limo, dizzy at the thought of a pretty girl playing with his cock. 

Your hand wraps around his length, pulls it out of his briefs. Feeling the weight, heavy and warm on your palm, makes your skin prickle. He is big, but even if he wasn’t, the way he gasps into your ear when you start pumping him is enough to satisfy. 

You start slow, just to be a little mean. He's longer than you expected, you realize. A turn of the wrist at the base, a little more pressure, and you hear him groan, loudly, shamelessly, as he tips his head back. 

“Feels good?” you ask, voice lower than a whisper. You know it does—you’re not inexperienced by any stretch of the imagination, but something about turning the prince into putty makes the months of horrible foreplay worth it. 

“Yeah,” he says, part sigh. “Really good.” 

“Good.” Then you hold out your palm in front of his mouth. You tell yourself it’s a litmus test for his freak-o-meter, but there’s a part of you that wants to make this the best handjob of his short, unexciting life. 

First, he looks at you, wide eyes unblinking. There's already a flush, pretty and pink, across his cheeks, the column of his neck. Then, it clicks. He spits into your hand, and you watch it trail down the plush curve of his lips, his chin, the ridge of his adam’s apple. The color spreads to his ears; his mouth twists shyly. Oh, he looks perfect, maybe even more than perfect like this. 

As if drawn by a magnet, you kiss him, and your hand finds his cock again. The friction alone draws out a low whine from Joshua’s chest, enough for you to feel the sound on your own tongue. Emboldened, you pump faster, harder, loving the way his hips kick up to meet your touch. 

Still, he gives no indication that he’s close. Something tells you he has more stamina than you think, which surprises you. Thirty minutes ago, you thought he was a virgin. 

“Josh?” you murmur, your lips brushing over his. “Wanna taste you.” 

He meets your gaze, expression unreadable. You think maybe you’re moving too fast, that you’ve crossed some sort of boundary, until you feel the shadow of his hand move, first on your waist, then up the back of your neck. He gathers your hair in one hand, easily, as if he’s done this many a time before, and you get the message. 

You wet your lips, swollen at this point, and bow your head. You’re running on something crazier than adrenaline at this point—even seeing the bead of precum at his tip is making your jaw feel heavy. 

The first taste, always thrilling, sends sparks to your cunt. You seal your lips around his cockhead, feeling its weight on your greedy tongue, and he pulls your hair just enough to make you moan. 

“Were you thinking about doing this all night?” Joshua asks, voice deceptively innocent. 

You can’t answer. You don’t want to. He tastes good, he even fucking smells good, and you want him bad. Instead, you take him to the base, feel him bump against your palate as you try not to gag. You can’t fit him all the way, so your hands make up the slack. He's even bigger fully hard, and already, you feel the ache in your cheeks, your temples. 

“Fuck, you must have been.” A groan, low and slutty. “Doing so good for me.”

You can’t tell if he’s being genuine or if this is his version of dirty talk, but it’s working. His hand is gentle, restrained behind you, letting you lead. The worse part of you wonders what it would take for him to break, but that’s a project for another time. 

Honestly, he doesn’t need to do much—again and again, you chase the feeling of his cock deep in your throat, enough to bruise. You don’t even care if you gag around him; when you do, he pulls your hair back, just enough to make your scalp prickle wonderfully, seemingly oblivious to the fact that you like it. 

You feel heady with arousal. You start to wonder how he is in bed, if he’d hold your hair like that, run his mouth like he is now. He's vocal, more than anyone else you’ve been with, and every little noise goes straight to your core, makes your thighs squeeze together pathetically. By now, you’re sure you’ve ruined this set of panties. 

“ ‘m close,” he says between breaths. “You don’t have to—” 

Stupid, stupid boy, you think. You don’t think you’ve wanted to do anything more. So instead of answering, you look up at him, eyes big and watery, and you suck hard. with your tongue nestled underneath his cockhead, right by the vein, it’s almost too easy. 

He groans, loud, satisfied, and you feel his release fill your mouth. Even after swallowing, it’s enough to run down your chin, get your makeup all smudged, and you like it. If you weren’t in trouble already, you are now. 

“Ah, I made you a mess,” Joshua says, gravelly and intimate. With one hand, he takes the handkerchief out of his suit jacket and cradles your jaw with the other. “Hold still.” 

“You,” you manage after clearing your throat. “You don’t have to sacrifice your pocket square.” 

“Yes, I do,” he chuckles. He wipes the corners of your mouth, your aching chin, and it almost makes you cry. “You literally gave me head in the back of a car. The pocket square can go.” 

He draws you up to his chest so you can rest your head on him. There’s a warm, melty feeling between your ribs, minus what you had just swallowed. Inexplicably, even as the horny fog clears from your brain, you still want to be close, closer than close and then closer still. 

“Head? I don’t like hearing you use normal people slang.” You pout, and you feel his laugh radiate from beneath his skin. “Good head, at least?” 

“Oh, please. Better than good,” he answers. “You’re perfect. perfect.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” you start. Then he shuts you up with his mouth over yours, and you forget to think about liking him, loving him, or marrying him—this, you think you can do. 

—

“We’re in Barcelona!” 

You’re greeted by a pocket sized Somi and Soonyoung as they grin at you from your phone screen. They look to be on the balcony of a hotel suite, both wearing their matching silk robes. 

“Wow,” you reply. “And where was my invite?” 

“We did invite you, bitch,” Somi says, pulling down her sunglasses to look at you. “You said you were busy.” 

“Well, I mean…” you uncap a bottle of nail polish. “That's not untrue.”

“The ocean needs you,” Soonyoung whines, clutching his chest. “We need you.” 

“I'm sorry! Josh and I have been doing engagement stuff.” 

“Josh? Since when were you on a nickname basis?” 

“Whatever,” you interrupt. “What are you guys gonna do today?” 

“Beach,” Soonyoung responds brightly, with Somi’s Don’t let her change the subject! loud in the background. 

To be honest, you don’t even know the answer to her question. It just sort of happened, which seems to be the new normal for you. You’re also trying to pull apart last night–the freak-o-meter test came back inconclusive, and, for some reason, Joshua fell asleep with his arm over your middle. (Actually, you can think of a few reasons why he did that, but you’re not really sure how to feel about any of them.) 

“Ugh, I miss you guys.” You wipe at your pinkie toe, having smudged the polish beyond repair. “Drink a little extra sangria for me. And by little, I mean a lot.”  

“You’re still coming to Somi’s birthday, right?” Soonyoung asks.

“Yes, of course she is,” Somi replies. “Unless you can’t. Which I totally understand.”

“I still can,” you lie. “It just has to be more low-key than usual.” 

“No paparazzi,” Somi says. “And I'll tell everyone to keep you on the down low. Super duper down low.” 

“No way.” Damn, you curse to yourself—you keep screwing up painting your big toe. “Seriously?”

“Anything for my queen,” she giggles. “Pitbull is also confirmed, by the way. Secret Pitbull now.” 

“Good, because that’s the only reason I’m coming.” 

“Boo, you whore.” Somi wrinkles her nose at you playfully. (Is she being serious? Soonyoung asks in the background.) “Also, I'm still waiting for my update on the whole prince thing. I've been very patient.”

“No updates. Nothing to report,” you insist. Frustratingly, your cheeks are hot, like you’re in secondary school all over again. 

“You fucked him, huh?” 

You bite the inside of your cheek. 

“Halfway. Maybe.” 

The combined sound of Somi and Soonyoung’s gasps rips apart your phone speakers, and you draw in a big breath. I did it for the plot doesn’t quite seem like the right justification, not like it used to be. The plot never used to involve the M word, love, or any sort of feelings at all. Now things are more confusing than late-stage Grey’s Anatomy, but good luck explaining that over the phone.

“So you do like him,” Soonyoung says, saucer eyes sparkly on-screen.

“I don't know,” you answer. It’s true, you don’t. To you, like was flirting over text and french kissing. Paradoxically, you had told Joshua all of that, and he still decided to do whatever he did to you on the ledge of the fountain all those days ago. It felt like he ate the heart right out of your chest. Then you had to go and suck his dick, which never made anything less complicated. 

“Oh please. Look at you,” Somi laughs. “Yeah, you do.” 

Fuck. You’ve smudged all the polish off your big toe again. 

– 

Not much surprises you these days, but you can’t say you were expecting to see your riding boots to be the first thing you see when you arrive home in Cotria. 

The second thing you see is Jeonghan, smiling at you in his big, stupid riding helmet, camo-printed because he bought it when he was 15 and his head never grew much bigger since. 

“For old times sake?” He then holds your own helmet up by the straps, and whatever twinge of annoyance you had felt earlier makes way for something softer, more forgiving. “Everything's set up outside.” 

It doesn’t take you much time to take him up on the offer. If anything, a long ride usually solves all your problems, and you definitely have problems that need solving. 

You saddle up in the stables, wordlessly, moved by habit. It seems to be the same for Jeonghan, too. Even Peanut acts like it hasn’t been years since he’s seen him, and he noses at the box of sugar cubes like he always does. Then again, horses don’t hold grudges, at least, not like you do. Even Joshua seemed more optimistic about this encounter than you did. 

“So you're back back,” you say, hooking your feet in the stirrups. “Or do you have more jet-setting to do?” 

“Back back,” Jeonghan replies. “Missed home too much.” 

He cocks his head towards the old riding trail, the one that loops the long way through the woods. The gesture is but a formality—it’s the only path you ever take. Still, you follow behind his horse, watching the beige swoosh of Peanut’s tail the same way you did when you were a little girl and things were far simpler than they are now. 

Under the cornflower sky of a near-autumn, the forest seems endless. A flock of geese split the sky in two; a warm breeze haunts the canopy, scattering the afternoon light. The dirt under you is soft, peaty from the morning rain. The hoofbeats are silent today. 

Jeonghan’s horse slows so that you ride side-by-side. 

“Hey, cricket?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I…” Jeonghan clears his throat and pauses, quite unlike him. “I wanted to come out here to talk.” 

“Everything ok?” 

“Yeah, I…” Another pause. “I know things haven’t felt normal between us. For me, at least.” 

You almost drop the reins. A strange, floating feeling is set off in your body, like a flare. 

“Yeah,” you reply. “I was kinda hoping you would say that.” 

“I'm sorry.” A hard swallow. “I haven't really been the best brother, have I?” 

“Well, not…not really.” Quickly, frenetically, words bob up in the back of your mouth like you’re playing whack-a-mole. You had been waiting for this conversation to happen for so long, you realized you hadn’t planned much further than that. “It felt like you’d changed. A lot.” 

The wind feels like ribbons around you. You sway back and forth on Astrid, as if on a boat. 

“Was it the birthday party thing?” you ask. “I didn’t mean for it to…you know.” 

“Actually, that was my fault.” Jeonghan smiles bitterly. “I shouldn't have let Mom and Dad run me over like that. You should’ve been there. It was never really the same without you.” 

“Well, I should've come,” you admit. “So we both fucked up.” 

“Maybe,” he chuckles. “But the rest—definitely my fault. I made myself busy because I felt like I had to.” 

You’re growing to really hate that word. Jeonghan had to grow up, Joshua had to break up with his first love, you had to learn to pick up all the pieces of both of these things and try to fit them back into your life. 

“You didn’t even look back.” 

“I was scared, cricket. That if I kept looking back, I wouldn't be able to go forward. And I didn’t want to leave you behind, but I did. I think there was a happy middle somewhere, I just couldn’t find it.” 

“Jeonghan, you’re not really making sense right now,” you say, flattened, and he laughs. 

“I don't even know what I'm saying. I think I'm trying to say that I just want you to be happy. And that I'm sorry.” 

You bite your lip, as if to distract yourself from the strange pressure in your throat. You think you want to cry, but you’re not sure.

“But are you happy?” you ask. “With the coronation and everything? Did you even want this?” 

“I am, believe it or not. I know you don’t, but I'm not lying. Somewhere along the line, I started liking all of the talking, the traveling, the interviews. I like that I can help people. Some of it sucks, but not all of it.” He laughs, finally one that sounds like something you can remember. “Not everything you have to do is bad.” 

“Jeonghan, I'm getting married because of you. Because of this,” you say, trying to keep your voice from cracking. “I don't know how to do this. Any of this, not like you, not like Mom, or anyone.” 

This, in fact, does make Jeonghan stop. He stills and falls silent. At once, it seems the forest goes quiet too. 

“Don’t get married, then.” You don’t respond, so he says it again. “You don’t have to go through with it. Not for my sake, at least.” 

“What?” 

“I've been thinking about it ever since it happened. I can talk to everyone. You’d rather not be with the guy, right?”

Your tongue freezes in your mouth. You thought you had an answer, but it refuses to come out. 

“I have a duty to protect you, too. I’ll be fine with or without the press.” 

“Jeonghan,” you say quietly. Many moons ago, you would have laughed at the word duty, but instead, your stomach turns over and over and over. “You don’t have to.” 

“I want to,” is his simple answer. “I want to because I care about you. We can figure out the rest.” 

Something in your bones feels heavy. You’d also been waiting to hear those words, but it didn’t feel as freeing as you thought it would. You think about Joshua, his books and his perfectly placed bookmarks, his dumb dad jokes, the way he reaches for your hand, fingertips before palm. 

“Can I think about it?” 

“Of course. The engagement ball is probably happening either way, but it’s no big deal. Bigger engagements have been called off in far worse circumstances.” 

You’re having trouble believing him, but you have no other choice. Your life would certainly get a lot easier if everything were to just end. No more press releases, scripts, or awkward pictures. And no more worrying about if you could go out on the weekends or just how much of yourself to give up to make things work. 

“There's no rush.” He turns to look at you with the same wild shine in his eyes that you’d grown to miss so much. “Truce?”

That, somehow, you’re much happier to hear. You thought you’d be angrier than this, feel the usual metal-red of your gut, but all that’s left is a sobering feeling of relief, of home. At last, things feel close to normal. 

“Truce.” 

So you ride and ride, but a decision doesn’t come to you as easily as you thought. The sunset breaks; the word duty clings to you, unshakable, unrelenting. 

—

Somehow, you have gone full circle: at the end of a long day, you find yourself back at the piano, much like you did when you were seven, and the only thing you could do right was play Hot Cross Buns. 

Joshua had bought an unreasonable amount of music books, half guitar for him, half piano for you. You’d forgotten just how much you had liked playing until that night, many nights ago, when you and he had first muddled through that duet. 

Yesterday, you and your parents had tea at the waterfront before you had left the country. You were still undecided on the engagement; frustratingly, the needle hadn’t moved much in either direction since Jeonghan had raised his proposal to you. 

Congratulations, your mother had told you, right over her cup of oolong. 

For what? 

You’ve risen to the occasion. You’ve grown up. 

To you, this was not a compliment. You didn’t know what it was. You had twisted the ring on your finger, back and forth, a habit you picked up after all the time you spent wearing it. You wondered if somewhere, you had become exactly like Jeonghan, molded and spun into someone unrecognizable. Maybe that was why Joshua finally seemed to like you.

Have you practiced for your first dance? your father asked, and you no longer had time to worry about the state of your personality—you had other fires to put out. 

Really, that’s why you’re at the piano today. You thought you could play the damn tune and somehow remember all the ballroom dancing lessons you had taken when you were younger. Unsurprisingly, it hasn’t worked yet. 

There’s a knock at the doorframe. “Come in,” you say, already knowing that it’s Joshua. No one else does that; Jihoon barges in and just starts talking, and you can hear Joshua’s parents from a mile away because of all the jewelry they have on. 

“Just wanted to see what you were up to,” Joshua says. He leans against the frame of the piano, already dressed down for the night. 

“Nothing,” you reply. “Just magically hoping that I remember how to ballroom dance.” 

“Well, first things first, you can’t dance sitting down.” He chuckles, and you pull your lips tight. 

“I'm serious, Josh,” you whine. 

“You really don’t remember?” He gives you one of those looks, one that you’re quite used to now, with the judgmental wrinkle of the brow. “Didn’t you take lessons?” 

“Yeah, like…fifty million years ago.” 

“I couldn’t tell,” he says, grinning something foolish. “You don’t look a day over fifty.” Then he offers you his hand, which you take, and he easily pulls you from the bench. 

“Flattered,” you say, unable to push down the corners of your smile. “You gonna teach this senior citizen a few moves?” 

“Perhaps, as my good deed for the day.” He holds your hand, still firmly in his, and slides it up his arm to rest on his bicep. “Left hand here,” he tells you. 

“Are you flirting with me?” 

“Not yet,” Joshua laughs. “The ballroom hold ring a bell?” His other hand finds your free one, and you interlace fingers simply, easily. Then, the warmth of a hand between your shoulder blades, one that draws you to his chest. 

“I think the only dancing I know how to do is half drunk in the dark. Can’t exactly throw it back on you in front of God and country.” 

Joshua grins, a big one, and you, traitorously, feel your cheeks get prickly. 

“I wouldn't want God looking at you like that,” he teases. 

“And country’s already seen it all.” 

“They should consider themselves very lucky, then.” His eyes meet yours, lit by the scattered light of the chandelier. “It's my turn to ask you to let me lead.” 

“Fine,” you pout, noticing that familiar warmth in your stomach. 

Joshua begins to count your steps off (one, two, three—ow, that’s my foot! —sorry!). He’s patient with you, more patient than you think you deserve. His hand seems to slot perfectly into the curve of your back; his gaze settles onto you in a way that makes your chest feel heavy, molten. 

“For someone who goes out so much, you have a terrible sense of rhythm,” Joshua says, teasing. 

“Hey,” you object. “Maybe I just have a bad teacher.” 

“Oh, so it’s my fault now?” 

“Well, I'm not about to blame Britney Spears.” 

Joshua laughs, and the sound is so close to you, you can feel it on your skin. 

“I still think it’s the student’s fault.” 

“Me?!” Perfectly timed, your sock-clad feet collide (yours, striped and fuzzy, his, plain white). “Impossible.” 

“Too distracting,” he murmurs, and you notice how unfairly pretty his eyes are. “You bump into me, criticize me, you look at me like that…”

You feel dizzy. You don’t know what Joshua’s doing to you, but it’s mean. Your face is warm, and normally you’d blame it all on the alcohol but you haven’t had any. Worst of all, the soft part of you, the lizard-brained, impulsive part, can’t stop thinking about his lips and how they would feel on yours.

It’s a thought you don’t let linger, much like all of the other half-thoughts you have, and you kiss him, as if it was a reprieve from the terrible, horrible way he’s making you feel. (It isn’t.) 

“You talk too much,” you tell Joshua, right against his lips. “Not enough teaching.” 

“I'm putting you in remediation.” 

“Devastating.” 

“And giving you homework.” 

“Whatever shall I do?” 

Joshua answers that question for you. He kisses you, once, twice, still not enough, and, somehow, things feel more simple than they ever had before. 

—

Jihoon’s eyes are dark, dagger-sharp in the rearview mirror. 

“We’re coming up,” he says. “A few minutes out.” 

“I know,” you answer. Yunjin was successful, almost too successful, in her task of finding you an appropriately revealing dress for a newly engaged twenty-something at the party of the year. The filmy silk stretches around your thighs; the cowl neck flirts with the neckline of the bikini top you have on underneath. 

You look good, probably better than how you’ve looked in months. And yet, for some reason, you don’t feel good, at least, not how you’d thought you’d feel on the way to the only event you’d been looking forward to this year.

Somi’s gift rattles in your lap. It’s covered in this loud, hot pink wrapping paper unbecoming of something you had spent years tracking down on the antiques circuit. Normally, you’d have a laugh with Jihoon about it, maybe take some selfies in the car, but instead, you find yourself spinning your ring around your finger like you always seem to do these days.

You think of Jeonghan, of Joshua. Of course, what you do or don’t do on your best friend’s birthday is none of their business (although, very inconveniently, Jeonghan did have some event this weekend, and Joshua was traveling). But still, you think of the boldface headlines, the whispering gossip forums, the washed-out image of you in your little dress on the cover of a cheap magazine. This wasn’t exactly a tame party, and things weren’t just about you anymore, not like they used to be. 

Marking your arrival isn’t the GPS nor Jihoon, rather, it’s the firefly buzz of the cameras outside your limo as it’s forced to come to a stop. You squint, trying to see past the tint of your windows, and see Somi, radiant in her birthday tiara, as she pushes through the crowd. Behind her is the villa she rented, illuminated by pink and gold strobe lights. 

You crack open the car door and are met with a stifling deluge of camera flashes. Music pulses through the air, enough to feel beneath your heels. 

“Who's my favorite princess?” Somi exclaims, throwing her arms open. “You made it! you look hot.” 

“Not as hot as the birthday girl,” you reply, and you let her squeeze the air out of you in a wonderful, bone-crushing hug. “What's with all the cameras?” 

“Professional photographers. Just wanted something to remember the night by, because we are blacking out.” She giggles, already tipsy. “Come, come, we’re doing shots inside.” 

“Without me?” 

“We’ll catch you up.” 

Somi drags you by the hand through the sea of people, and you watch the cameras follow as they always do. She leads you up the stairs, underneath the towering balloon display, and into the foyer, already darkened, lit only by a disco ball chandelier and the neon backlights. 

You spot Soonyoung by a champagne tower that seems twice his size, as promised. He's in a leather jacket, no shirt under, and you watch his eyes light up as they meet yours. 

“A shot for her highness,” he shouts over the music. 

“I thought this was champagne.” 

“Tequila's close enough.” He laughs, eyes upturned, bright like gemstones. 

The first shot goes down easy. it always does. So does the second, unsurprisingly. Around the third is when Somi tells you that the strippers are coming in an hour. (—Strippers?! —Not everyone has a fiancé, you know.) 

And, just like that, you’re back to the beginning. It’s hard to think over the ridiculously good Kesha mix the DJ is playing, but, terribly, you think you’re starting to understand what Jeonghan was talking about. You’re still not sure how you feel about duty, responsibility, sacrifice, those heavy words that feel impossibly heavier in your mouth, but all you know is that, as much fun as you’re having now, it comes at a fair price. 

Somi told you nothing, no compromising pictures, no drama, would reach the press, but, as hard as she may try, you feel like enough people have laid eyes on you already that someone was bound to hear something. If not now, then definitely in a few hours when everyone’s on at least two and a half substances, and all bets are off.

Briefly, you recall your appearance at the derby, the memory like a shard of glass. You had stood guileless next to Joshua, tripping over your words because you hadn’t cared enough to read the damn briefing, and he had covered it up with a dad joke or two. Coming up with those abominations must have been hard enough for someone whose first book was the Oxford Dictionary, but you don’t even think God and all his angels could cover up this. More than that, the thought of everyone having to try anyway makes your gut twist. 

Someone tells you to smile for a selfie. You recognize her, but you don’t remember her name (Amelia or Alicia, one of Somi’s friend of a friends. On second glance, there are definitely more than 200 people here). Let's dance! another voice shouts in your ear. 

Your head hurts. You hate the idea that Jeonghan might be a little right, but you hate even more that you’re starting to agree with him. Maybe you need another shot. 

“Your gift,” you say, fighting over the chorus of Your Love Is My Drug. “Somi!” 

“Oh my god, you did not!” she squeals. She clasps her hands over yours, wrapped around the box, and draws them to her. “Let me take it to the table. I’ll meet you by the pool—oh, oh, there’s a hot dog stand out there too!”

“Actually,” you start. You’re not that drunk, not yet, but now you think you can feel the ground start to sway under you. it wouldn’t be too far a stretch to say that in half an hour, after a little time at the bar, you’d probably be spending the night, no question. “I think I have to run.”

“Aw, really?” Somi tilts her head and squints, as if trying to read your mind. 

“I am so sorry,” you tell her, as sincerely as one can over a pop song from the 2000s. “Swear I'll make it up to you.” 

“Life stuff, right?” 

“Yeah.”  

“It's ok,” she says. “Really really. Go home, figure your shit out, and we can have our own party.” 

She holds your joined hands to her heart. Whatever look you gave her, she believed. That, or she knows you better than you think. 

So you leave. The car ride home is silent. Jihoon doesn’t ask questions, and you can still hear the sound of the music ringing in your ears, on and on and on. 

– 

You think the worst thing you’ve ever woken up to was the Crazy Frog ringtone of one of the guys you had slept with during university. 

The second worst has got to be five voice memos and three consecutive missed Facetime calls from Somi, which is the first thing you see upon opening your eyes. 

“Oh fuck,” you murmur, still coming to. Your bed is empty, but you see Joshua's suitcase in the corner of the room. He must have come home early this morning, while you were still sleeping. 

You crack open your text messages. 

–OH MY GOD.

–I AM SO SO SORRY. 

–someone must have gotten paid off for last night’s pictures…i had no idea i swear 

Then a voice memo. Then another voice memo. then a PopCrave Twitter screenshot: YOU CAN TAKE THE PRINCESS OUT OF THE PARTY–OR CAN YOU? followed by the worst, most incriminating photo of you and Soonyoung, arms linked, throwing back a shot. 

“No, no, no, no.” You squeeze your eyes shut, feeling the stone-cold drop of your heart to your feet. “Fuck. Fuck.” 

Shit. You have to find Joshua and make it right. 

Somehow, you thought it wouldn’t matter, that you didn’t care what did or didn’t get out as long as you were able to have a good time—you desperately search for that same feeling, knowing that it’s long, long gone. You don’t even think you truly ever believed that. 

You race down the palace hallways, ones that feel far more familiar than the rigid bastions they were when you first got here, but it’s Joshua who finds you before you find him. Or rather, it’s his voice you hear, trickling out from behind the library door. 

Suddenly, you’re five again, and you’re spying on Jeonghan talking to your parents. You peek through the crack of the doorframe. As Somi would say, nightmare blunt rotation: there stands Joshua, surrounded by both sets of parents, and no one looks happy. 

“We knew it,” another voice says—your mother. “We’re sorry, but we said this would happen.” 

“It’s no matter. There’s nothing left to do but call the engagement off.” 

The room goes quiet. You notice your hands are shaking. Your face feels numb.  

“You’re right. I don't think anyone’s getting what they want out of this, anyway.” 

“We’ll cancel the ball. There’s no way around it. Likely a relief, right, Joshua?” 

The moment seems to squirm, suspended in time. This is what you were waiting for, right? Your parents were right—no one wanted this anyway. You certainly didn’t, and now you get your get out of jail free card. On top of that, you get to hear what you’d been expecting all along—that Joshua never liked you, that this was fun and all, but he’s ready to stop playing pretend. 

“I…I disagree.” You freeze. “She's my fiancée. I made a commitment to her, and I'm not going to walk away.” 

“Joshua, my dear, this arrangement was never going to work. You can be honest.” 

This is the part where Joshua nods, does his perfectly symmetric smile, and agrees. This is what he does, what he’s been doing since forever. The story always ends the same way. That was the point. 

Instead: “I am being honest. Since when was it illegal to go to your best friend’s birthday party? I don't care what the rest of the world has to say. She’s not who they, or you, think she is.” Through the door-gap, you watch the pursed, resolute draw of Joshua’s lips. “You didn’t even invite her here to talk about her own engagement. You never once gave her a chance.” 

A stunned silence falls over the room. 

 “I’m sorry, but this is how I feel. I won't let you take another girl I love from me. Not again.” 

Your hand flies over your mouth, and something twists deep in you, like you’re drowning from the inside out. You can’t, won’t, believe what you just heard. That somehow, beyond all the fighting, the quiet nights, the snide remarks and the fake smiles, that Joshua loved you? Loved? Enough to say all that to the people that ruled his life with an iron fist? None of this made sense, but nothing’s made sense since you got here. 

The room erupts into noise, peals of voices all colliding into each other, and you do what you do best—you leave. 

—

No one talks about that morning. You don’t even think anyone knows you were there—part of you wishes that you actually weren’t, so you didn’t have all this on your mind. (Joshua, later that day: I got you something from Seoul. From his suitcase, a bottle of soju. Just kidding. Then a jade bracelet, so vibrant it looked like the ocean.) No one talked about Somi, and no one talked about the party. 

In fact, everyone had just rolled on as usual, all the way to the end of the week, the day of your engagement ball. Even you did. The word love felt so big, so burdensome, when Joshua had said it to his parents, but you didn't mind it on you.

The lingering touches, late night talks, tea made the way you like—nothing really had changed much since shit hit the fan, but now you knew that was the label. You guess that when you told Joshua you had never been in love before, you were really telling the truth. Either that, or he was just saying whatever the hell he needed to stop your engagement from imploding. 

Still, you found yourself still reaching for him. There was an unfamiliar comfort about his nearness. You woke up this morning cradled to his side, and, for once, it wasn’t a scene you wanted to erase. 

Now, your hairstylist hoses your blowout down with hairspray. You’d spent the better part of this morning sitting in different chairs, hair, makeup, nails. A part of you waits for the other shoe to drop: Joshua’s mother would waltz in and tell you, Surprise! You’re a single woman again, just as you should be. 

It never happens. You’re wrapped in various mists and creams and powders, all the while fielding all the same questions about the ball (—Excited for tonight? Yeah, of course. —How does it feel being the surprise couple of the year? Surprising.)

It’s not until Yunjin comes in, wheeling in your giant, sparkly engagement gown, all Italian lace and satin brocade, that things feel real. 

The dress itself is beautiful, a pale champagne number, gathered at the waist with a smattering of crystals down the train. Earlier, when you’d first tried it on, it looked like a costume fit for the girl playing wife. It was another smothering thing that hung on you, just like everything else in your life. 

Today, you watch your form tall in the mirror. You meet her eyes, her uncertain mouth. It’s you, for sure, but there’s a stillness about you that you can’t quite put a finger on. Maybe Joshua’s demeanor was contagious. 

Yunjin laces your bodice up, careful eyelet by eyelet—“You’re nervous, huh?” 

“Is it really that obvious?” 

She laughs. “Breathe. You’re not getting married. Not yet, at least.”

“Yunjin, isn’t it weird that no one has talked to me about Somi’s birthday? Everyone on the planet saw the leaks.” 

“Maybe they finally learned to stop giving a shit. You looked hot, you had a good time, end of story. It’s not like anyone died.” 

True. She grabs your shoulders and looks at you through the reflection of the mirror. 

“Smile. Enjoy yourself. You look so, so beautiful.” You take a deep, soaking breath. You think about Joshua and all the sharp edges of his voice when he said he loved you. You had argued with him a lot, and you had never heard him like that. “You want this, right?” 

Well, when she puts it like that? Yeah, you do. You think you really do. 

—

The Great Hall is unrecognizable when you stand before it; the pink and white zinnias have been replaced by bouquets of calla lily and eucalyptus, the arched ceilings, once cold and imposing, now are bathed in the buttery, warm glow of candlelight. And the too-big space, usually empty, is now filled with partygoers, radiant in their best dress. 

You stand at the top of the grand staircase. A thrill, anxious and skittering, runs up your bones. You’re reminded of your last big public showing at the derby, of the sea of microphones and the eye of the camera and the crowd, all staring you down. 

You run through the cruel motions. First, a curtesy, so slow you think the audience can see you tremble. Then you take the first step down the stairs, and you watch them turn to you like the tanned halo-faces of sunflowers. 

There, in the center of the crowd stands Joshua, unwavering. He's wearing a deep blue tuxedo, unfairly flattering (though, the lone curl of hair falling into his eyes is strong competition). Meeting his gaze, you watch the corners of his mouth fold up in a way that reminds you to breathe. In, out. You’ve got this. 

Every step, you feel like you’re learning to walk for the first time, like you've lost your sea legs. Amongst the guests, you spot Jeonghan, next to him Jihoon. Then back to Joshua, like your eyes can’t stay away. He shoots you a covert thumbs up—you’d expect nothing less from the corniest man on Earth—but, nonetheless, it makes the long walk to the center of the room feel much shorter, despite the torture devices on your feet (Louboutins, not broken in).

One, two steps, and you’re face to face with your fiancé. Your heart is still racing, thrumming against the cage of your bodice like it's trying to escape. You’re sure the whole congregation could hear it if not for the quartet that’s come to life, now playing the opening notes of Blue Danube. 

Yes, that’s right, you tell yourself. You still have to dance in front of the whole fucking country. 

Before you crash out and make this a national emergency, you feel the warmth of Joshua’s touch. Fingertips before palm, always the same, he finds your hand, like he manages to do every single time. 

“I’ve got you,” he says, low enough for only you to hear. And for the first time, you believe him. 

—

Really, you could have gotten away with saying nothing. It would be much easier, to be honest. 

The ball had gone off without a hitch so far. The music was good, the food even better, and your parents were somehow silenced, instead opting to dance among the crowd like they were young again. Still, you can’t seem to put your mind at ease. With everything that had happened this week, Jeonghan’s offer only seemed to weigh heavier, more urgently upon you. And of course, there was the matter of Joshua choosing to opt into your engagement, against all odds. 

You realize you had gotten quite good at running away from things—your family, your responsibilities, the media, even Joshua—not knowing how to bear the weight of an impossible duty. Actually, you thought it was a royal failing until you had seen Joshua in the library that morning, jaw set, unbending. 

“Hey, Josh?” you ask, with a few bats of the eyelashes to soften the blow. 

He tilts his head in that way he does, and his gaze softens. Damn you, you think. Trying to distract me with those horrible, pretty eyes.  

“Can we talk about Sunday?” 

“What about Sunday?” He still looks confused, and you know the look well enough at this point to know he’s not faking it. 

“Um…Sunday morning. After the party,” you say slowly, as if giving yourself time to back out, just in case. “I heard you talking with our parents.” 

In an instant, his expression changes, and his eyebrows roll into their usual furrow. You feel his hand falter behind your shoulder blades. 

“Oh,” Joshua’s voice drops. “That.” 

“I’m sorry,” you say, realizing all you do is apologize. “It was supposed to be a small thing, no cameras, I barely even stayed—.”

“Hey, it’s ok,” Joshua interrupts. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.” 

“I-I know,” you fib. The thing about pretending is that you’ve both become so good at it that you have trouble believing him. “It’s just that I also heard what…what you said.” 

Somehow, the wrinkle between his brows grows deeper. 

“I said a lot of things that morning.” 

You press your lips thin, feeling what you’re about to say ball up on your tongue. Easily, you could change the subject; you didn’t have to know anything, really, you could stay silent and let the world work around you, just as you had been taught. But you watch the soft twist of Joshua’s gaze, how he studies your expression, and you know you can’t go back to how things used to be. 

“You said you…” You take a hard swallow. All the blood in your body only wants to exist in the apples of your cheeks, away from your brain where you need it most. “You loved me.” 

At once, the world spins off-axis. You feel the anxious flutter of Joshua’s heart under your palm, and your own stomach flips in its cage. The L word coming out of your mouth seems ten-thousand times more ridiculous than anything he could say, probably because you can’t remember the last time you actually said it and it came out all wrong. 

He must feel the same way. For once, he can’t meet your eyes. His mouth opens and then closes, as if hoping to delete what you had just said. Maybe you would just keep dancing, beat by beat, and this would all go away.

Silly girl, you think, traitorously. Pick a damn side. Either he likes you or he doesn’t. The problem is that, somehow, both options hurt your feelings. 

“I mean, I totally get it if you just said it to keep up the act,” you cut in. “There are a lot of reasons why this is a good idea.” 

“The act?” 

“Well, yeah,” you reply. “Isn’t that what this is? Haven’t we just been lying to everyone? To ourselves?” 

Joshua’s hand at your waist stiffens before he draws you closer to him. You expect him to roll his eyes, do one of those exaggerated sighs that he does when you’re being difficult. 

Instead he leans in, close enough for you to feel his voice against your skin. 

“Do you think I was lying back there? Or now?” 

Your heart lurches. 

“I—no, but.” You pause. Every single coherent thought you’ve ever had scatters to the wind. “Well.” 

“Because i’m not,” Joshua says, this time, more softly. “Not about this. Or us.” 

“But how? Why?” You bite the inside of your cheek, feeling your chest swell in a way it never has before. “You’re perfect, and I'm…I’m me.” 

“That’s why,” he answers, simply. “You’re smart, funny, honest—sometimes too honest, even. You reminded me there was a better version of me that I had left behind. One that wasn’t perfect, but was happy.” 

He holds you in his gaze the same way he did in the garden, carved by moonlight. An impossible warmth fills your skin; at once, it feels like, in your vision, there is only him, like you're in a cartoon. 

“At the same time, I understand if—” Joshua starts. 

“I feel the same,” you blurt out. “I…I don’t know what this is, and I don’t think I ever really did, but I want to try.” 

You watch the surprise write itself all over his doe eyes, his unfairly rounded cheeks. From by the hors d'oeuvres, nosy Jeonghan peeks over the shoulder of another guest, already familiar with your lack of volume control. You watch him grin something stupid, triumphant. 

“You’re uptight, judgmental, and you make the worst jokes. But I…I think I might be falling for you too.” 

Saying it is like getting peeled back, terrible layer by layer, like you wrapped a hand around your heart and ripped it out your chest. And yet you’re glowing, newly-bitten with something that feels like freedom.  

“I thought you said I was perfect,” Joshua says, the pink of his lips already unraveling into a smile. This one, you think, finally reaches his eyes. 

“Shush, you—” And amongst a chorus of Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! (which would be, quite frankly, humiliating in any other scenario), you finally give in to your adoring public, and kiss. 

—

The walk back to your bedroom is a blur. All you remember are hands—hands on the small of your back, hands riding up the length of your thigh, hands in your hair, pulling at your roots. You remember hands, and the taste of Joshua’s mouth. 

It’s a walk you are not proud of, one that you’re glad happened in the dark, with all the guests gone home. 

“Did I tell you how beautiful you are?” Joshua says, pressed to the hollow of your neck as you fumble with the handle of the door to your room. “Couldn’t take my eyes off you. No one could.” 

Then his lips on yours, before you finally remember how to open a door. 

“Fuck, Josh,” you breathe between kisses, stumbling backwards until your back hits the vanity. “Need you, need you so bad.” 

He bites your lip, lets you sigh into his mouth. 

“Dress, off,” you tell him, and you lean forward on the table. Obediently, Joshua gets to work. His touch feels fiery, electric on your skin. 

In the mirror, you’re able to see the damage: your lipstick, smudged beyond repair, your blown-out pupils under your heavy lashes. There’s a hickey on your collarbone. 

“Now you have me wishing you'd wear one of those party dresses,” Joshua murmurs, still working at the lacing at your waist. “Far easier to take off.” 

“Really. The same ones that got me in big trouble with you lot?"

"For what it's worth," he replies, before kissing the back of your neck, then the ticklish space under your ear to make you laugh. "I always liked you in those. Even before we met." 

"No way." He’s finished with the lacing; your dress falls to your feet in a glorious heap of silk and lace, leaving you in your slip. Another kiss to your jaw, your cheek. "You hated them." 

"I almost bought a copy of Insider, the one with the cover of you in the black dress with the long sleeves." 

"Shut up," you laugh again, somewhere in between kisses. He’s talking about Soonyoung's new year's eve party, a few years back. You were getting out the back of a cab, alcohol-flushed and on a phone call with God knows who. "I still have it, you know. I could wear it for you one of these days." 

"Don't tempt me." Joshua kneels, bending down to undo your heels. You feel him press his lips to the back of your knee, your thigh. “Friday. Dinner?” 

“Done.” 

Then he stands back to full height and leans into you, just so you can feel him. Like clockwork, your skin prickles wonderfully even just thinking about blowing him in the back of the limo, that night he had held you down on his cock. 

Joshua must see how you squeeze your legs together. He pushes your slip up over the curve of your ass; you feel the rough of his hands over your skin, over the flimsy lace you have on for underwear. Then, before you can say a word, he pulls the waistband back, meanly, enough to tug on the hood of your clit, and lets it snap back against your skin. 

“Oh, fuck,” you keen. You had no idea you were so sensitive, but Joshua’s foreplay game was way better than you thought. “Please, Shua.” 

“Oh? So you like when I'm a little mean?” 

You watch your face in the mirror flush pink, your bitten lips fall open in surprise. He pulls tight on your panties again, loving how your eyes squeeze shut. 

“Maybe.” You pause, humiliated. Fuck it, the cat’s already out of the bag. “Yeah.” 

Joshua’s hands are warm, so warm, when they peel the fabric down your trembling thighs. 

“Legs apart, darling,” he tells you, mouth pressed to your shoulder. “So you like to boss me around the castle, but now you want me to tell you what to do? Is that so?” 

Before you can answer, you feel a finger along the seam of your cunt. You can’t see Joshua’s face in the mirror, but you can sure see yours, and you hate how even the smallest of touches has you drooling. Then a touch to your swollen clit, just rough enough to draw a gasp from you. 

 “I-it’s different,” you protest. Two fingers now, both rolling your clit under them. A whimper tumbles out of your chest, and your hips seem to be moving on their own accord. “Didn’t know you had…experience.” 

“Still not sure what made you think otherwise.” A quiet chuckle, then the slow, agonizing push of one of his fingers inside you. “Fuck, you love that, huh? Soaking my hand.”

“Yeah…” The vanity table suddenly feels too crowded to support the weight of your body, especially like this, as Joshua continues to work your clit with his other digit. Feeling your body surge again with heat, you push aside your makeup bag, all your stupid little bottles, so you can prop yourself up on your arms.

Another finger, and your legs are shaking. Quickly, he seems to have figured out how to hit your g-spot every time, every pump of his hand knocking into you just the way you like.  

“I think it was how annoying you were that did you in,” you finally answer, trying your best to put up a fair fight. “Kinda detracts from your sex appeal.” 

“Annoying?” Joshua asks, right up against the shell of your ear. like this, you can see him in the mirror, and it almost sends you over. the dark hair in his face, the insatiable look in his eyes. Then a third finger, and your eyes roll back. “Am I annoying you? Doesn’t really seem like it.” 

Your body answers for you. You feel yourself tighten around his fingers, fuck, you’re so close, you feel your head start to spin. You watch your reflection shake her head, glassy-eyed and dumb. 

He laughs cruelly. His free hand reaches up to find your tits, and, over the slip, he grabs one, rough like he’s a meaner man, like he’s slutting you out. 

At once, you feel the lightning heat of your release. You cry out, airy and high-pitched, and feel your body rock against Joshua’s as he pins you between himself and the vanity. 

“There you go,” he murmurs. His hand slows, letting you ride out your high, before he pulls out. “Wanted to do this ever since I kissed you that night.” 

“Which night?” you ask, catching your breath. A kiss to your shoulder blade, the nape of your neck. 

“The night you taught me to kiss. Or rather, tried to.” 

Ah, yes. The night you told him what Shark Tale was, and the night you made out for so long, you felt it on your lips in the morning. Dumb fucking Joshua, stupid and in love. The affection that surges through your body makes you mad. 

“You needed lessons.” 

“Not really, don’t you think?” 

“Bed. You’re talking too much,” you insist, turning around to see him. “Also, you’re wearing too much.” 

“Back to arguing with me, I see. Can’t stay away.” Joshua’s shit-eating grin prompts you to yank his tie impatiently, shutting him up. It comes off easily, just as his belt and the waistband of his slacks. (You weren’t about to let them best you a second time).

“Maybe ‘cause you find a way to be difficult about everything.” You wrinkle your nose, and Joshua’s grin only grows wider. “Don’t make me give you another order,” you warn, fully aware that since you guys got here, it’d been him doing the orders. 

You pull your slip over your head, now only in your bra, and lay back in the bed. You think of all the sleepless nights, then the ones spent talking, the ones in his arms. To think they would all culminate to this, to you now watching Joshua undo button by button with a desire unlike any other you’ve felt—it would almost be unbelievable if you weren’t doing it right now.

Like a striptease, you watch his chest peek out between the linen of his shirt. He's wearing a necklace today, one that settles meanly between his pecs. As he moves lower, you can’t help but notice the outline of his cock in his briefs, the spot of precum on the fabric. 

Traitorously, you feel your mouth water. The shirt comes off, and your lungs fill with another shaky breath. 

You know you’re both letting your freak flag fly (one of you more surprising than the other) but it’s in this moment, caught in the lamplight, that you realize how much things have really changed. Still, you’re not able to tell Joshua that this is the first time you’re sleeping with someone you might be in the L word with, but you think he sees it too, or at least, reads the look on your face. 

You feel the dip of the bed underneath as he joins you.

“Are you ok? That wasn’t too much, right?” 

“No, it was…it was good. really good,” you admit, feeling your face heat up again. “I just…I dunno. I like you a lot, that’s all.” 

“Hm?” 

“I—” you stutter, and your mouth freezes up again. “I said I like you a lot.” 

“Sorry, I just wanted to hear you say it twice.” He sees the dismay on your face and smiles. “Hm…I like you an adequate amount. On a good day.” 

Against your will, you crack the fattest smile you think your body is capable of. “You are the worst. The absolute worst, and I still want you to fuck me.” 

Upon hearing this, Joshua does not waste time. That he does—it isn’t long before he has your knees hiked to your chest, cock between your pussy lips. 

“Say you want it,” he whispers. You feel the cold kiss of his chain on your chest, the slick rock of his length between your legs. He's so hard, so big, your cunt already aches at the thought of it. 

“Want it.” Your voice comes out small, breathy. You would fight back, but you’re realizing you quite like this side of him. “Please.” 

When the head of his cock presses into you, there is no hiding. Already, you moan, sweet and loud, feeling the familiar pressure in your gut. 

“K-keep going,” you babble. Fuck, he barely fit in your mouth and now he’s stuffing your cunt. You wrench your eyes shut, listening to him talk you through it (—Look at you taking me so well. Feels good, huh? You’re so beautiful. Honestly, it’s a miracle Joshua’s ex never had a royal baby with how much they must have fucked.) 

Your second orgasm comes quickly, not long after Joshua bottoms out. He groans right in the space where your neck meets your shoulder, and it’s the best noise you think you’ve heard in your life. 

The third comes slowly, more intensely. With your knees to your chest, you think you can feel Joshua all the way in your stomach. Every stroke fucks the sound out of you, his cockhead right up against your g-spot as he fills you again and again. Sometime between orgasm two and three, he’s pulled your tits out from your bra, left marks across your chest. 

“Want you to touch yourself,” he tells you, voice low.

Mindlessly, you listen. One hand finds your nipple, the other your clit, and you let yourself get lost in the feeling. 

“F-feels good, Shua.” He enters you again, all the way, and the pleasure is white-hot. “O-oh, fuck,” you warble. 

“You’re so good at listening to me, you should do it all the time,” he murmurs. “There you go. Take it, take it, just like that. This must be what I have to do to get you to be nice, hm?” 

All you can do is stare up at him, positively fucked dumb, and take it, just as he told you to. One, two strokes, and you feel yourself get impossibly tight; “Fill me, need it, need it,” you whine, delirious. Everything from the look in his eyes, the flushed sweat over his brow, his collarbones to the way his expression responds with every word you say, makes you wonder why you wasted time fucking anyone else.

When he comes, he bites your shoulder, hard, and it’s what you need to follow soon after. You feel so fucking full, so satisfied, you think you could die happy here. 

Joshua flops down on the bed next to you, boneless. You think he’s about to say something akin to that you should have put a towel down, but he doesn’t. Instead, he pulls your body to him, lets you feel the warmth of his skin play against yours. 

He’s murmuring wonderful things to you, which you would gladly reciprocate if words weren’t coming to you one letter a minute. It’s not your fault though—you need to recover physically, emotionally, spiritually after getting the soul fucked out of you.

Then, “Me or you shower first?”

You groan as a response. 

“I’m serious.” 

“Together?” you offer weakly. 

“Fair chance we won’t just be showering then.” 

“Oh nooo.” 

That’s all Joshua needs to whisk you to the bathroom, where, indeed, he seems to be right yet again. 

—

The spring morning washes over Acros like a second skin. The birdsong rouses you; through the curtains comes sunlight from the garden, spackled on the wall as if spots on a doe. 

It’s been almost a year since your parents had told you that you were marrying Joshua Hong, prince of Acros. Six months since he had told you he had loved you. Two months since you and Jeonghan had pulled off your first joint production at the youth theater (a roaring success). One month since you were fully, fully moved in, Astrid and Jihoon included. 

After your engagement ball, you and Joshua had agreed to take it slow, as slow as two people who had very publicly announced their wedding could. But still, somehow your parents, both sets, could tolerate the two of you wanting to do things the right way. Perhaps they were still shocked things worked out as well as they did. 

“Morning,” you call out. The bed beside you is cold. “Josh?” 

You’re surprised he’s up. Last night, he went out with you, Somi, and Soonyoung. Somehow, he had drunk enough to get up and solo karaoke a Whitney Houston song, although you’re suspecting the alcohol was just a cover for his true intentions. 

Then you look out the window. You spot Joshua, seated on the bench overlooking the garden. This time of year, the roses are in full bloom, their bright heads reaching for the sky in brilliant red and gold. 

When you go to join him outside, he’s no longer at the bench. You actually don’t know where the fuck he went, but it’s no matter. Here, you’re able to appreciate the beauty of the season, the rolling green of the country you’re now calling home. 

It was also here where you had your first real conversation with Joshua without fighting, funnily enough. Now, you’d say the both of you were more agreeable, but that’d be a lie—somehow, you think you actually enjoy bickering with him, but that’s a conversation for another day. 

Behind you, someone (Joshua) clears his throat. 

“Now, what are you—” you say, spinning around. It was too damn early for games, but Joshua had no shortage of bad ideas. 

It’s then that you see Joshua behind you, on one knee. His smile tells you everything you have to know, and every thought in your mind freezes in an instant. 

“When I first saw you, I knew I would marry you,” he starts. That's a joke he’s probably been saving for months now, but instead of rolling your eyes, you can’t help but laugh, like you’re a broken soundboard. “No, really.” 

You stand there, immovable. Of course you had to be in your pajamas (his shirt and boxers, really), no makeup, hair untouched. And yet, you can’t imagine anything more perfect. 

“You drive me crazy,” Joshua continues. “In every way possible. I can't imagine life without your laugh, or your thinking face, or how you always need to have an answer for everything.” 

He produces a small box. It’s different from the first one, the one he used all those months ago when nothing mattered. Inside it, a new ring, something far simpler and more beautiful.

Joshua says your name, wonderful and reverent in his mouth. “Darling princess of Cotria, I'm asking you to marry me. Again.” 

And you say yes, for the very first time.

[END]

[jomazing]

Jomazing!

Hi, I’m Jom Charles Escorido Espe, 20 years old; my birthday is on January 31, 2003. My mother is Gemma E. Espe and my father is Jomarie F. Espe, my sister is Kristen Marie E. Espe. I live in Balibagan Igbaras, Iloilo.

I’m currently taking a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration with a Major in Marketing Management at the University of San Agustin, and I’m in my third year.

My friends and family call me “To”, "Toto", "Fatty", “Patu”, “Boss”, "Big Boss", “Jom”,“Joms”, "Jomsie", and “Jomhie”.

I’m a shy type of person, especially when we first meet, but I’m talkative in chat or messaging. Also, if we feel comfortable with each other, I’m telling you I'm the happiest person, talkative, a joker, and kind, loyal, friendly, good friend, approachable, supportive and loving person.

I love going to the gym because I can improve myself through my hard work and discipline. In the gym, I release all my problems, emotions, and anger so that I can lift whenever I want to lift the heaviest thing in the gym.

For now, I am single because many girls busted me in my past life. Back then, I was very fat, so maybe many busted me, but despite everything, I just accepted it and moved on. I have a special someone for now who makes my heart beat again. She is my inspiration, and now I am focused on myself, my dreams, my goals, and my studies.

I love riding a motorcycle, especially at night, because I can feel the rides and enjoy the rides with the music. My favourite songs are Taylor Swift, “Enchanted to Meet You," and others of my favourite artists. Also, I love "Disco" that it feels like I'm free to dance whatever moves I like.

I have many talents, and that is drawing, dancing, and, above all, my favourite part, participating in pageants, because I am a fighting person who does not give up on any challenge in life, and I am also a sportsman who can accept defeat.

I'm a sporty person who loves many sports, including badminton, volleyball, throwing events, and football. Also, I love biking.

In sports, I feel happiness, enjoyment, and excitement of the game.

(Badminton)

(Football)

(Biking)

I'm also a loyal person who's kind, respectful, talkative, helpful, understanding person, lovable, and gentlemanly. I'm also a soft-hearted person who easily gets hurt, even if it's small things, but I’m a fighter who'll never give up, and I know God is always on my side.

I have many dreams in life that I want to achieve, and in my success in life, I have a partner in life that is my family, friends, special someone, and especially the Lord, who always guides me in my trials in life. If there is no test in life, nothing will change. If we fail in life, don't give up immediately; let's just stand up in life and fight again for whatever challenge comes. I especially love the people who love me, and I thank the Lord, who always guides me.

[moxfirefly]

i was wondering what type of person/girl would each turtle be attracted to? like,,, do they like rock n' roll, or would they like reading? those type of stuff.... thank u, and i love ur work !! 🤍

Hey there! Let’s see…

⚔️Leo⚔️

I feel Leo would be somewhat picky but it’s more so because of his nature to want to have some control over things. He’s kinda independent if you ask me so an s/o who’s somewhat independent themselves would be great. Doesn’t mean they can’t depend on each other though.

He’d like someone who enjoy literature, so they can discuss books and have some cute moments because they would read the same thing together and talk about it for hours. Someone to give him books recs and someone who would love to hear his recs for them.

Sporty or homebody he doesn’t mind. He likes energy though, you can be energetic in your own ways but he appreciates it.

Boy likes to show off so somebody who cheers him own during training would make him all sorts of fuzzy.

For bedroom fun he’d be very happy with someone who is naturally submissive but he does indulge in be a total sub himself every now and then so vers s/o would be great.

Give this man a weeb s/o too, he’ll be a giddy mess if he can sit and binge an anime with them.

Cool and collected but sure of themselves. He won’t say it but he loves an s/o who can handle themselves with a bit of an attitude.

Lowkey (more high key) somebody to baby him.

🥊Raph👹

Loves them pretty fem ngl, like he loves all that make up shit and skirts and heels, but honestly would high key vibe with a tomboy.

Somebody confident but somebody who isn’t afraid to be vulnerable (because homeboy is a crybaby let’s be real)

Which goes without saying, he does need somebody who isn’t judgmental. He’s sensitive you know, he’ll appreciate you being real with him but don’t hurt my boy 🥲

For the seriously big ol brat that he is, he loves to goof around so he’ll for sure be a boyfriend who loves to prank you and pick on you (in a sweet way) so y’all can get into it. He’ll call you a bossy princess and you can call him a green boulder but still kiss ya know.

He likes opposites attracts so you don’t gotta love everything he loves but he doesn’t appreciate you trying. Same he does with you.

Wants somebody he can gossip with. Raph loves gossip and he will deny until his dying breath but homie is a gossipy hoe. Bring forth all the work tea, friend tea, relationship tea, family tea.

High key loves to show off and loves it when it affects you 🥴

With all the body issues he wouldn’t mind someone who’s openly into ogling him, calling him handsome and their big strong man. Gas him up pls.

Sweet but raunchy. Oh how that combo would kill him. He wants to hold your hand in public but fold you like laundry in private.

🍕Mikey🛹

Sporty, fem, masc, non-binary, anything whatever. Have a pulse he’s easy.

Mikey boy just wants somebody he can have fun with you know? Stay up late and play video games type of love. Share memes and inside jokes type of love. Bake at 3am because the munchies hit hard after banging type of love.

Chill s/o, doesn’t have to be as chill as he is cause you need to sometimes get his ass into gear but he doesn’t want someone bossy or demanding.

I hope you’re ready for the embodiment of love language is physical touch, because he will have a hand or part of him on you. So somebody who enjoys that’s would be aces.

Creative type too, if you paint or draw. Or if you like being a model for him to paint or draw better yet. Music junkie, make him a playlist and he’s yours.

Stealer of clothes and accessories. At some point he’ll be wearing more of your stuff and you of his.

Vers because as much as he wants to fold you over any piece of furniture within sight, he wants you to do the same. You can literally peg him, it’s on his bucket list.

💻Donnie👾

Like minded individual for this one. He’s not opposed to an opposites attract but it’s gotta be like right you know? He loves challenges and he loves anybody who can challenge him but a like minded s/o would be nice.

So somebody who’s into robotics and science and mechanics etc. cause he would love to bounce ideas off of you. You don’t have to be a genius trust me he loves teaching all this shit and explaining more than anything but if you’ve got some knowledge in the fields he’ll be stoked.

Acts of service is his language so expect him to wanna help fix or do stuff for you. Somebody who doesn’t mind this would be great for him. Which kinda goes without saying, he would be really into taking the lead in stuff.

Conversations, boy loves to talk which is something he values in a future s/o. Whatever the topic he’s down for long conversations.

He’s a vers by nature, has his days where he’s more vers top than anything but he does enjoy being at your mercy so be ready to enjoy that and have the reigns handed to you when he’s feeling more subby.

[twistofstory]

Talk about body image, CW perhaps? No negative self talk, just sharing thoughts and experience

Usually I use my sona as an avatar, but over time a found it another purpose - self expression and discovery. Mostly relating to my body image. One of the reasons I tried to draw them as close to my actual build as I can. …Minus being a fluffy anthro cat of course lol. And I don't have longer hair on the back of a head, it just looks cool with this design.

I have big thighs - and this was my biggest body-related insecurity since childhood, probably because of the obligatory dance class in the primary school. I wasn't a small and flexible kid, and I constantly feel out of place in the leggings and these tight dresses they had as wear in the all-girls group. To make matters worse, for some reason I was put in the A group, "the better one", which had most of the really slender and sporty girls of our class...

Just to be fair, I wasn't the only one who felt that way, and it was on the teachers to not compare 7-10 year-olds' bodies or skills. The fact is, this left a mark on me.

I thought that figuring out I'm relating more with a masculine gender would only worsen this issue (and sometimes it does, I'm not stoked about having prominent hips), yet... in some ways it got better??

I started shopping in the men's clothing departments not long before non-binaring my gender, and accuaring some long beach shorts was a true blessing. Perfect for hot weather and, most importantly, way more covering then any shorts I had before. I don't think I ever was as comfortable swimming and going to the beach.

For some reason beach shorts paired with my big hairy legs gave me gender euphoria I couldn't even dream of. I kinda look like a sixth grader in them, but hot weather ain't the time to be fashionable for me. And I'm sure it isn't that bad lol, it's mostly my friend trolling.

Besides, I walk/bike long distance almost every day, these babies should be my pride or, at least, something I can make piece with. They carry me all over the city, I'm grateful for that.

So yeah, I'm still uncomfortable with showing my thighs, but it isn't that bad anymore, and I'm happy about it.

Also I drew myself not completely flat chested and feel kinda dysphoric about it, even it is hidden by an arm… At least sona's in my chest binder, that's the most comfortable I'll get. Just know that irl I don't swim in a binder and neither should anyone, it's not safe!! Unless it's, like, a very stretched out one, that's better, but still not ideal. Anyway, do your own research on the subject and stay safe, that's it folks :b

Lack of sun is starting to get to me, so it's time to remember summer sunshine Another spontaneous piece I didn't feel like turning into a serious illustration. My sona doesn't have a set color palette or even markings, so I chose something warmer to fit the tone and really liked the result!

[geminineart]

Winx Club has regained popularity all over the internet thanks to a Netflix Live Action that just came out not long ago (A Live action that has NOTHING to do with the original, I must say...), and people were both drawing and redesigning these girls, so I wanted to give them my own touch!

Bloom, Fairy of the Dragon Flame: In my opinion, Bloom was lacking A LOT of dragon in her design, so I tried to give her kind of an innocent look, while mixing it with a Dragon warrior-princess vibe! Maybe a little bit more sporty and tomboyish than the original (who I didn't like at all besides her cute appearance, I must admit...), but I think it suits her!

Stella, Fairy of the shining sun: I wanted to show the gorgeous fashionista supermodel princess of the sun she is (Tanned her skin a little precisely because of her planet being a sunny one, and added lots of gold accessories and make up because I thought it'd fit her!)

Flora, Fairy of nature: My favorite girl!!! I must admit a chubby Flora was not my favorite concept at first, but thanks to @maikyodel's (IG) designs and other opinions from fans I read all throughout the internet... it REALLY grew on me. AND NOW I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT! Smol, soft sweet Flora is here to stay!

Musa, Fairy of Music: I must admit I love Musa's original outfit, but somehow I feel jeans are a very earthling thing, so I tried to keep her urban style while using other types of fabric! I also made her smol because I think it fits her (Plus I love smol girls with big attitude!)

Tecna, Fairy of Technology: I tried to keep Tecna’s outfit minimalist and practical, though I think I could have done better with her helmet and textures! I still like the concept, tho... specially the wings!!! 😍 (Tech-wings... like an artificial fairy? Or is it just a prosthetic for those fairies who are born without organic ones...? Hummm...!)

Aisha, Fairy of Waves: It always bugged me that Aisha's palette was green instead of blue (being the Fairy of the waves she is, it felt wrong! And Bloom as the blue one being the only reason... it felt like a bad character design planning...). I was originally going to leave Bloom in green instead (To me a dragon theme fits green better than blue), but I wanted to keep these girls as Iconic as possible, so in the end I left this sea-inspired turquoise/teal palette for Aisha, and I'm pretty happy with it! Also I tried to keep a sporty, beach vibe in both outfits of hers!

[prettylightsbigcity]

15 Questions

Rules: Answer these 15 questions, then tag 15 people.

Thanks for the tag, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe! Haven't done an ask game in a whiiiile, so this was fun :)

1. Are you named after anyone?

So funny story- my Dad is French Canadian, and my parents decided they wanted to give me a French name to go with my last name, but all the suggestions my Dad came up with were terrible. My parents are sailors, so one day they're out on the water and they see this beautiful schooner, and they loved the name of that boat so much that they gave it to me, their first-born child 😂 It's kind of an obscure biblical name too, so sometimes people ask me about that, and I have to like, "nah my parents just really liked this boat one time."

2. When was the last time you cried?

Last night- hot girls have too many feelings ✧(ꈍᴗꈍ)✧

3. Do you have kids?

Nope!

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Haha oh boy, do I.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Probably how they carry themselves? Like, their mannerisms and physicality, I think.

6. Whats your eye color?

Dark brown

7. Scary movies or happy ending?

Hmmm I guess happy endings, although I tend to like movies that are a little more complicated than that and don't wrap up in a neat bow. I love some horror, but not slashers or super gory stuff, so I can't really say I'm a horror movie buff.

8. Any special talents?

I've always been a performer, from childhood through to right now, so I guess singing, acting, etc is my special talent, but it's also how I make a living! I work in theatre. Organization is another talent I would say I have and that I use constantly for work.

9. Where were you born?

Nova Scotia

10. What are your hobbies?

Writing fic when I have time. Sometimes I attempt to draw, but it's definitely not something I'm good at, haha. I write songs as well, but don't usually share them publicly.

11. Do you have any pets?

I WISH! Hoping to get a cat once I finally get settled after moving.

12. What sports do you play/have you played?

I am not what you'd call a "sporty gal" lmao. I did do competitive dance from a young age all the way through my teen years, until I had to stop because of an injury.

13. How tall are you?

5'3"... and a half :)

14. Favorite subject at school?

English, history

15. Dream job?

Attempting to live the dream lol! Working in theatre has always been my happy place, even though it's wildly stressful a lot of the time.

--

I'm not sure who's done this, so if you have, this tag is me saying hi and giving you a lil forehead kiss: @stardustasincocaine @foolofabookwyrm-activated @krisrix @palimpsessed @tea-brigade @sillyunicorn @mostlymaudlin @stillmadaboutpetra @martsonmars @letraspal @bookish-bogwitch @excalisbury @thewholelemon @raenestee @j-nipper-95

[mitamicah]

Spoilers from both Trollhunters the book and Trollhunters the series!

While reading the book I was really impressed with how many differences there were between the character so I have worked on giving my take on six characters from both media, book vs series, and how they differ from each other :3 

I should mention that while there was illustrations in the book I tried for the challenge not to copy those but follow along the describtions in the book - when possible - to give my own interpretation of the characters ^v^ 

Steve

First up we have Steve. Starting out as the stereotypical bully in both version their paths seperates quickly resulting in two different ending for the musuclar blond Jorgensen-Warner is the book version of Steve. Here's how he is described from our first encounter with him: "He was handsome but in the oddest way- He eyes were too small and his nose piggish: he had a ridiculous amount of hair and a couple of teeth that looked like fangs. Yet somehow in combination these features were sort of mesmerising. His unnatural muscular bulk and odd way of speaking -crisply, politely, as if he were a foreign student who had learned English in class - completed the strange package." page 21-22 For his outfit I went with the description of him on page 224 "[my clothes] ... didn't cast me in the best light when compared to Steve Jorgensen-Warner, who looked rather rakish in blue jeans and a shirt - definitely not a blouse - opened to the third button. He dribbled the ball casually with his left hand." The bold passages is added by me   This Steve is later revealed to be a changeling aka a troll   Before we go on: can any of you explain to me what a "ridiculous amount of hair" even means :'D? I had a lot of trouble with this prompt because isn't this so darn subjective :'D? and the official art look way less ridiculous than I'd figure it'll be :'D x'D Palchuk is the series version of Steve. His facial appearance being way less specific (I'd say he has normal sized eyes, a big roman nose and some more or less normal teeth) and his way of speaking is definitely not polite. Like book Steve, this Steve starts out with pushing smaller guys into lockerrooms yet after that he becomes way less of a terrifying bully and much more of a silly goose who brings a lot of the comic relief in my opinion Douxie says it best in Wizards when he calls Steve the "village idiot" x'D I do not recall seeing Steve being that sporty in the show, he is much more interested in becoming homecoming king  no basketballs around x'D While book Steve is revealed to be the enemy (a troll) series Steve joins the "good guys" creating the creepslayerz with the character Eli Pepperjack

Blinky

Blinky is just called Blinky in the book  Here's a bit of description of him "The third [troll] had scarlet eyes, eight of them on long stems. (...) The thing from my house glided toward me with a surprising grace for something with an indetermined number of legs, all of which were hidden behind a patched kilt scaled with layers of medals, prizes and trophies and award ribbons. An incalculable tangle of tentacles twined around one another as if dying to squeese something to death. As it passed the oven, the firelight revealed olive-green skin, reptilian texture, and lacquer of slime lubricating its undulating appendages Its moth a horizontal gash.. " The bold passages is added by me   So yeah this Blinky is quite something :'D I stopped caring to draw tentacles after a while but overall this was silly but fun to draw  since his teeth later is described as big as traffic cones I believe he must be very tall :'D Also he's close to blind   Has a bit of a dirty mouth but in a very "read" way if it makes sense :'D cannot seem to stop calling Jim dimwitted and tiny and Tobias big :'D Blinky's full name in the series is Blinkus Galadrigal  he has six eyes instead of eight and they are all working just fine, thank you very much x'D His tons of tentacles and legs has been replaced by four arms and two legs and while he is still olive-green he is now made of tone like texture just like the other trolls  the kilt turned into shorts and he is quite a bit smaller now not even as tall as Jim  He still has this very academic way of speaking yet he is way nicer to Jim calling him "Master Jim" instead of "the short one" x'D

ARRRGH!!!

Book ARRGHHH!!!s full name is Johannah Mmmm ARRRGH!!! and she is a pretty big deal warrior among the trolls in the book - she's so badass in fact Blinky has decided to call her by her last name to honor her for her deeds for trollkind   Here's a qoute from the book describing her appearance   "The goliath emerged from the tunnel as comfortably as a dog from a doghouse, coarse black fur pouring into the chamber before I could make out any actual arms or legs (...) Even beneath the fur I could see loops of muscles flexing. (...) ARRRGH!!! was built like a gorilla but three times larger: Two arms, two legs, and, thankfully, just two eyes. Horns, curled like those of a ram (...) The thing's orange eyes cast about with animal perceptiveness, and it used its snout and sniffed. Its jaws fell open to reveal a purple, slavering mouth armed with haphazard daggers of teeth." Page 75-76 The bold passages is added by me   (Also worth mentioning: the qoute is from before the protagonist knows of ARRRGH!!!'s gender which is why he calls her an 'it') At other times in the story we learn that ARRRGH! has quite scarred arms and really wishes for better tooth hygeine; so much so that Tobias actually end up making her a brace out of chicken wire :'D Idk I find it quite adorable :'D Now unto the serie's ARRRGH!!! - first up he is male, his name is Arghaumont and he is famous for another reason than Johannah: he was a general of Gunmar but retreated from the war making him a traitor to his people yet a hero for the good trolls in the series. Series ARRRGH!!! is likewise built like a gorilla but made of stone and having a mane long and green like it is moss  his horns is way smaller and less curvy and his teeth hygeine is never brought up  also his face is way less dog like x'D 

Tobias 

Book Tobias' full name is Tobias M. Dershowitz yet he is going by 'Tubby' or 'Tub'. Here is a describtion of him from the book: "You could call Tobias Dershowitz chubby, if you were being cute, or husky if you were being diplomatic. The fact is he was fat, and that was only the beginning of his problems. His hair was a thick, orange, out-of-control hedge. His face spilled over with the kind of freckles that make kids like Tub look like overgrown toddlers. Worst of all were his braces, marvels of modern torment: whips of stainless steel crisscrossing each tooth seperately and lashed to a dozen silver fasteners. The braces clicked so much when he spoke, you expected sparks. At least he was tall..." page 27 The bold passages is added by me   The outfit I went with is described on page 259 like this: "He stood in the driveway decked out in his best approximation of a ninja: black tennis shoes, black sweatpants, a black hoodie, a belt made from a red curtain sash, and an oversize fanny pack holding his gear (...) It was unfortunate that the fanny pack was lime green..." To describe Tub is a bit difficult because sadly he is not much in the story as I'd liked - mostly he is being quite serious and let us know he is not happy by being sidelined not speaking troll nor being invited on hunts which I completely understand tbh :'D What I do find interesting is how Tub and series Jim has seem to have switched roles a little bit: In the series Jim is the one giving a speech about how he is insecure about his place in life and how he wants more - in the book this is Tub in more than one occassion: "We have to accept who we are. And before you ask, I'll tell you. We're nobody. We have no life. We have nothing to look forward to. We're not special. I just want it to go away. All of it. The stupid being scared. Doesn't it seem we've been scared forever?" page 37 "Jim, you're wrong. We were meant to do this. This is exactly what we've been waiting for. They've chosen us. Of all people! Us! (...) Jesus, Jim, take a look at my life! You know what I'm worth! To anyone? Zero! Nothing! I'm a fat loser and will always be a fat loser. Until this. This is like a present. Full of, man, I don't know. Hope?..." page 196 (talking about trollhunting here btw) Oh yeah and book Tobias gets this badass scene where he uses his dentist's tool to kill trolls I loved that   Now series Tobias is way different :'D first up his name is Tobias Domzalski and his nicknames are Toby and Tobes. He is way shorter and has more neat hair (what is it with the series neating up the hair :'D? x'D). He also seems way cheerier and pretty happy with his place in life more or less  Unlike Tub, Toby is in it from the start being an important player in the story   He doesn't have the same drive to be something more than he is as Tub has instead Toby is going with the flow starting out quite afraid of everything troll and ended up being as brave as the rest of the team *tbh Jim's scared out of his wits too so they mimic each other x'D* Where Tub has dentist tools Toby gets a badass hammer so I'll say its an upgrade  

Claire

First off we have Claire Fontaine, a foreign student from no other than Scotland with a taste for military clothing and liqourice   Here's how she's described in the book   "She tucked her long dark hair behind her ear and left ir with an adorable smudge of white dust. I thought she was beautiful, though she wasn't in the classic sense. The popular girl would say she wasn't skinny enough. They would also point to the fact that she didn't wear makeup or do anything to tame that hair. And her clothes -well, what could be said about her clothes? Her boots were not sexy and knee-high: in fact, they were ankle-high and rubber-soled and looked picked from military surplus racks, an array of pea-green coats and multi-coloured slacks, all of which looked as if they'd been through actual World War II combat. And that beret she wore before and after school wasn't of the look-at-me-I'm Frensh variety: it was more in the style of I'm-going-to-invade-your-country-and-be-your-new-dictator. Only one thing didn't make sense: that bright pink, exceedingly girlish backpack that inexplicably hadn't one anti-establidh patch sewn onto it (...) Oh, I forgot to mention that Claire Fontain came from the UK. That's right- the girl had an accent. I think you are starting to get the picture." page 30-1 The bold passages is added by me It is hinted at that Claire is quite tall and a great deal taller than Jim (more when I get to him) and she is actually a whole year older than Jim since they both have birthday May 2 but Claire is 16 while Jim is 15  Since Trollhunters in this story is not a "protected title" (aka the chosen hero type) Claire ends up being one herself even though nobody even herself didn't know: AND. SHE. KICKS. BUTT! She's even better than the guy that had 40+ years experience so yeah safe to say she's badass :'D Even before that she has a hilarious scene calling out Steve in the wildest shitstorm of Scottish slang I lived for it x'D She's described quite a few times with lots of bracelets, sometimes made of wire so I gave her a bit of both   She's not really a part of the popular group but has her own thing going on   Now onto Claire Nuñez the series' version of this badass   Here Claire is hispanic and pretty much one of the most popular girls seen around  her style is way more ... I've called it punk rock in purple but Idk exactly what to call it x'D she's shorter than Jim and slimmer looking than her book counterpart   She enters the story not as a trollhunter but as a victim of having her brother stolen by changelings and as time progresses she becomes a fastlearning and quite competent sorcerer dealing in shadow magic   Unlike Fontaine, Nuñes is seen wearing make up, shorter hair with dye in it and hair clips instead of bracelets  

Jim 

First up we have book Jim. His full name is James Sturges Jr. and lives with his single parent, his dad, after his mother went away the day before his birthday in start May and never returned. Sturges Sr. had been traumatized loosing his brother to trolls although none of the characters didn't know this yet - only Senior had seen the creatures making him paranoid and in turn making Jim very embarrased about his father. At the same time Jim seems to honestly worry for his father and his behavior too makes Jim very cautious and fearful a character. Book Jim is pretty much a typical teenager for the most part  He is seen to be a tad clumsy and not exactly brave really. And the author's choice of basically not describing him anywhere made my job way harder trying to be book accurate :'D So I've mostly inspired him of the official illustrations in the book   Here's what I could find about our little trollhunter   First off: he's a short fellow  that is first mentioned on page 14; "Sunshine is important for growing boys." (...) "I am not growing" I took after my dad when it came to size and was still waiting for that growth spurt everyone kept raving about. "In fact I think I'm shrinking." This is brought up most of everything Jim through the movie from him not being able to reach a point of a chalkboard (page 32) to people's dissapointing sighs taking meassurements when he is chosen as Romeo (107) and him wearing super high heels for the same reason (224) but also Blinky directly calling him a "little fellow" (page 127) On page 27 we learn that he is getting a bruise on his chin after being slammed into his locker by Steve  Lockers he has been thrown into enough to have learned to open them on the inside :'D He is a skinny fella which Tobias so politely call "lack of muscletone" due to "glandular" at page 120 He is not very good at anything describing his room full of stuff from hobbies he tried and failed at (page 63) The longest describtion about his appearance is probably page 105: "I lowered my eyes and regarded the chewed, dirty fingernails holding my script, thes scuffed shoes on my feet, and realized that these were the symbols of my pityful life: worn-out, insignificant, ready to be thrown beneath Dad's industrial mower" It pretty much says it all when this is the longest quite I could find :'D For the outfit I mostly went by the small describtion on page 89-90: "I tucked the medallion beneath my shirt. After a full day of wearing it, maybe the rest of the suffocating fear would go away too. My plan was to dart into the kitchen, grab my sweatshirt and be out of the house. " I added jeans since he is said to wear jeans on page 283 - the medallion sneak out beneath the sweatshirt/shirt on page 97 which is why I added it on top here as well   Now since there's a bit more to both versions of Jim due to their role as the protagonist I've added in a little extra features here being the medallion in the book vs the amulet in the series and the weaponry given to the characters   For Sturges we have the medallion who's described like this: "It was a bronze medallion conntected to a rusty chain. It was engraved with a foreboding crest: a hideous, snarling face; indecipherable markings of a sevage language, and a magnificent long-sword across the bottom." page 9 The medallion is treated like it is a common artefact if a bit rare in the book - its purpose is to translate trollspeak for the wearer. Jim is giving two swords in the book; a rusty longsword he calls Clairesword (do I need to explain this one?) and a cutlass he calls Cat #6 after the one cat at Tobias' house that liked Jim  x'D For Sturges' personality my feeling about him is that he is a bit more ... passive than his series counterpart. He is not really standing up for himself that much and would rather blend into the background. This qoute from Claire sums him up pretty nicely I believe   "You're a good person, Mr. Sturges. A bit gloomy, but good" page 246 I do like that Jim in this version is a Taurus  (I am a taurus too x'D) born on May 2nd so that's a plus   It is probably also worth mentioning that in this world trollhunters aren't a chosen hero type like in the series: trollhunters or paladin was once a title held by many warriors yet now there's very few left. Sturges was a proud paladin family making Jim a chosen candidate for the honor of becoming a trollhunter but he is not the only one - or even the best - in the book. In fact out of the three trollhunters we learn about I'll say Jim is the weakest (and he is not even the least trained; ouch :'D) Jim doesn't get a nice armour like his series counterpart either but is seen in the illustrations wearing a blue hoodie (like the one in the little doodle)   The full name of Jim in the series is James Lake Jr. He is the child of a single parent and lives with his mother whom Jim "mothers a lot" (Tobias' words in the first episode) This Jim is pretty "tall for his age" (Jim's own words uttered quite a few times across all three series) yet with quite skinny legs (he is called out for this by multiple characters). He is much more competent in life than his book counterpart being an exceptional cook, good at Spanish, seemingly alright in PE and at school he seems to stand pretty good if only holding himself back. Unlike book Jim, series Jim seems much more active and longing to be something more than he is - he is seen to be quite brave and protective of his friends, very kind and selfless. Also even from the start he seems much more nimble than his book counterpart being able to climb the robe (a feat book Jim didn't do before later) and with his training as trollhunter he becomes even more badass   Trollhunter status in the series is way more important since the title is given to only one chosen warrior of Merlin chosen by the amulet of daylight (the medallion in the book). This also makes the amulet way more special and important in the series which probably explains its shine up from rusty bronze thing to silver and blue. While Lake Jr doesn't have named sword he does have a magical armour and sword made of daylight   We do not know the exact birthday of Lake Jr but the creators have replied to a fanquestion saying it would be around fall especially October so by that estimate Jim is probably a scorpio  pretty far from the before mentioned taurus in the book   While Jim Lake Jr isn't seen with long lasting bruises in the original series he does get two more permanent scars in Wizards  

[liesoverthec]

(Also if you wanna chat about what I think the girls’ personalities are like based off their two outfits we’ve gotten I HAVE THOUGHTS I’D LOVE TO DISCUSS!)

Girl, I would LOVE to know your personality headcanons for Sophia and Adriana!!!

THANK YOU FOR ASKING ME I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT IT SO BAD!!!

Okay so Sophia -

The two outfits we see her in are this (jeans, soft blouse and a cardigan),

and this. (She’s just to the right of Buck here.)

My opinion is that she’s softer and feminine.

She’s wearing natural but obvious makeup in both scenes, and both of her outfits are very soft and lovely. Unfortunately at Eddie’s ceremony we never get to see anything below her waist, but I’m pretty sure it’s a dress. The top at least is long-sleeved, very flow-y, and with a sort of boho pattern on it.

Also she’s got her hair done nicely and lightly curled.

I think she likes to feel pretty, she likes to look and feel girly, but she doesn’t cross the line into sexy territory.

If I had to take a shot based off of this, I’d say Sophia has lots of girlfriends, and they get their nails done, they like going to prom, but also she/her friends are definitely not catty. They’re the nice popular girls whom everyone loves. She likes necklaces, she likes flowers, that sort of sweet, feminine girl!

I’d also maybe guess that she’s a daddy’s girl, given that in the very first shot of the wake, she’s hanging out with Ramon at the grill.

Adriana on the other hand, I’d describe as being low maintenance.

At the wake, she’s wearing jeans and a flannel -

And then at the ceremony she has a one piece yellow dress on, with flats. (You can peep Soph’s top again in the corner over Buck’s shoulder!)

She has very, very minimal makeup on, and based on the fact that I think she’s older than 20, I think it’s not bc she doesn’t have experience with it, I just think she’s happy with the basics.

She also has very long, very straight hair. I don’t think she likes to put in the effort that Sophia does to do her hair, nor does she want some fancy, stylish haircut. Long hair looks fine down by itself or she could put it up in a ponytail easily.

I think Adriana likes to be comfortable, she wears simple clothes that she can move in and that she can wear without any sort of fuss over undergarments or layers or whatnot.

Adri would be more (if I had to guess) the school type than either her brother or sister. She’s got other things to think about rather than her appearance, beyond what she’s comfortable in, although she obviously isn’t the baggy t-shirt kind of comfortable (which I sort of feel might be Helena saying “you have to try, you are a reflection of us”). I don’t think she’s a sporty person, but it’s more likely in my mind than Sophia. I also think she’s kind and gentle, based on her playing cards with the kids at the table and looking p serene about it. 😂

HOWEVER! I don’t think either of them has a very dominant personality. I think from the moment either of them even had a spark of understanding, the status quo of the house with Helena and Ramon razor focused on Eddie was already set, and neither of them from this episode, strike me as the type to make waves.

The wake in particular reinforces this to me. I definitely get vibes that Helena said - Adriana, you’re going to watch the kids so that we can get a chance to talk to Eddie without Christopher being there and convince him to come back, and Sophia is going to back us up if we need it. But Sophia never actually says anything, so honestly I think Helena and Ramon both have such “dump truck” personalities like Hen calls them, where they just bulldozed over everyone to get what they wanted, and with Eddie drawing all the attention, it was easier for them to just not fight it. (Which is something I’d love to see if they bring his sisters back - Eddie obviously has learned how to say no to them, and it would be amazing if they came to him to learn how to do it.) I wouldn’t call them weak, but I think they’re non-confrontational people - Sophia probably more in a people pleaser way, where she wants everyone to be happy, and Adri probably just thinks it isn’t worth it to fight with others.

I also think they’re closer to each other than they are to Eddie - I think they’re closer in age, and with Helena and Ramon so focused on Eddie it probably made more sense for them to group up at family outings and daily life and whatnot, plus they’re obviously still in Texas together and always have been, although I think they all have a good, if somewhat distant, relationship!

Anyways I hope that all makes sense, and obviously if they ever bring his sisters back they might be nothing like this at all, this is just how I would write them in fic based on what the costume/writing department has given us so far!

THANK YOU for asking me about this I spent so long thinking about it as I pulled up screenshots of them that I was like bursting with my thoughts!

Lots of love!!!

🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝

[dreme-inc]

Can I please have a part two for my headcanons with Sophie, Tammy, Thomas, Clyde and Token please tell me if it is too much

a/n: She specifically wanted Butters added and mentioned Nichole. As I don't know enough on Tammy and Thomas, I'm writing these two instead. I'm hoping it is alright.

otherwise hello! these characters fit the prompt well, I think, so please do enjoy friend :) SP headcanons are always fun to write and read too.

A L W A Y S I N S T Y L E ⟻

I'll start by noting these guys (and the first ones) are knights. They'll defend you against anyone and anything. :)

⟼ S O P H I E

Befriended you fairly quick. Little Gray often runs into being defined by a single aspect and therefore takes the time to find out your likes and spend time with you.

Found often saying to others, "they're as great a person as they dress."

Believes you wear her clothes well, no matter who you happen to be, and says so. She loves the confidence you have in being who you are, and it pairs nicely with her assured, positive personality. Above it all, she likes you liking who you are, because she likes who you are.

+ If a science fiction, fantasy fan like her, she is absolutely willing and unashamed to match your enthusiasm. Want to attend a con? She already has tickets. ("Two. It could be a date... if you'd like.")

- Dressing up? She's there. If you happen to make clothes or buy them, she'll assist with either and a smile. Is truthfully the most happy simply spending time with you.

⟼ L E O P O L D

"H-hey! I, uh, wanted to say you sure look cute today."

Is admittedly a little shy wearing vintage outside, but happily believes and willingly puts on anything you'd hand him if you'd like. He really does trust you and wants to be a good boyfriend and all.

Once, he wanted to wear the clothes around town, and wanted you to pick. ("What d'you think looks best?") Of course you assist in finding pieces he really liked and he felt special with the attention he got that day. The one to matter the most was yours, naturally.

He wore your hat. It made him happy and his smile sure is contagious. Normally is with you anyway, him smiling makes you smile, and then he smiles and it's a cute cycle you guys have going.

+ An innocent one, so while he likes when you put anything on your lips, he's under the impression he needs to kiss you every time (like you applying balm is a sign you want a kiss from him).

- It's sweet, but you gently explain because you aren't here to take advantage of anyone, while you aren't complaining he doesn't have to kiss you every single time. He understands with an embarrassed blush and a smile... and then says, "well, I'm not complaining either."

⟼ N I C H O L E

Whether it was you or her who moved into town in your universe, she immediately liked you straight away (naming you and Kyle, if you'd like, when she was questioned by the girls). It got even better when you started hanging out.

- The reason it starts depends on your complexion. Because South Park, Cartman is the source and fast to spread rumors if you're complexions match. If not, he does try to sabotage you guys but you've got great friends and prevail. They manage to upset his system with the good rumors they spread.

Likely pays the least amount of attention in a good sort. She's aware what it's like to be different but, "it isn't the only reason why we're together y'know? It's because I like them and they're a cool person. Liking what they wear and why they're different is a part of what makes them cool."

(The above is what she told her father when he needled about you.)

+ If you play a sport or anything really, she cheers the strongest for you, whether it means it's loud because you want the world to see or quiet because you don't draw too much attention to yourself.

⟼ C L Y D E

It's funny because he's so used to the dresses and the lettermans on exes, seeing someone in these vintage suits is different. "In a good way though!" because he isn't very good at saying what he actually wants to say.

+ Likely notices you earlier if you're sporty because what. Someone good-looking who dresses well and plays well? If not, it's all good, it is likely he meets you bar his flirty persona.

He starts off a little playful but it eventually delves into something softer because he's a softie. Got you shoes in your style, of course. It's the reason they took advantage of him, and he shouldn't, but he can't stop himself. Besides...

- The first time you stole his clothes to wear yourself made him very happy. Does kind of wear his heart on his sleeve so he thinks you guys must be in it for the long run.

Possibly won't wear your clothes on his fruition and waits until you want but proudly defends you against anyone saying anything hurtful since he likes showing you off if you're comfortable with it.

⟼ T O K E N

Doesn't immediately buy you anything and definitely wants to buy you anything. He sees you aren't with him because he's rich so he doesn't flaunt it but there are perks to having such a caring boyfriend.

- Whoever you are, he's managed to pull strings on a hobby of yours without money. Do you play video games, want to visit an exclusive restaurant, or listen to music? Maybe he's got the game before it's released, a table when you both arrive, or a meet-and-greet with your favorite artist after the concert.

What you like to do is as major to him as what you like to wear. Speaking of, his style likely changes over time compared to the others in a sense it compliments it after you've been dating a while.

Like Clyde, he'd take you stealing his clothes seriously. One who doesn't enter relationships carelessly, I think, and so it makes him happy because he's very committed to you too of course.

+ He's well-spoken and mature amongst his friends. As such, he notes and tells you compliments you normally wouldn't hear especially in South Park on your lip accessories. He'll notice and like the color of your lipstick with your outfit, the shine of your gloss, or when your lips touch softer after balm when he kisses you.

[feeling--pink]

Recently I decided that the fireside girls are phenomenal and deserve much more characterization than they got in the show. I’m very sorry for how long it took me so long to realize this!

Anyways to start off here’s some casual clothes since we never saw them outside their uniforms in the show!! Explanations for each under the cut as per usual! :D

~

Just a disclaimer that while I used every scrap of evidence I could find from the wikis and rewatching the failed pilot episodes that I did have to make some stuff up for these. In the future I hope to build on what the show gave us for more fully fleshed out characters but until then here’s a start!! 

Gretchen

I should let y’all know now that I did base their color schemes off of those in act your age! But I gave everyone a secondary color as well (if they didn't already have one)

Gretchen, according to the wiki is “Extremely Smart, happy” (extremely smart being unique)

She is also the only (known) one with the Saying A Word No One Else In The Room Knows Patch 

From that we can take that she’s in the same sort of archetype as Huey Duck, Violet Sabrewing, Frida (hilda), Clemont (pokemon xyz), etc. 

So I tired to base her outfit on them!

In this case it’s mostly Huey, Violet, and Frida because pokemon outfits follow different rules 

Violet and Frida’s outfits are more similar because they’re what I consider “comfortable” 

And while I love their designs I decided to go the other route!

The other route being Huey! Aka I wanted to give her a polo shirt skjdfhgk

Besides, for Gretchen’s age up design I think her outfit fits in the same category as Violet and Frida’s do! So we’ll get there eventually!

But anyways yes, I took the polo shirt from Huey then decided I should probably give her pants because she isn’t a duck where its socially acceptable to not wear pants sksajdhfgaks

So yeah a pleated skirt just seemed the right way to go yes? :D

Katie

Yes Katie is wearing crocs

Why you may ask?

BECAUSE WHAT ARE THOSE SUPPOSED TO BE OTHER THAN CROCS

LISTEN- I tried, I really did, to come up with something other than crocs

But I couldn’t hecking do it 

Well I couldn’t without ignoring this part of her character design which is 90% of what I have to go off of

Anyways from her wiki entry her personality is described as “Kind, helpful, cute”

This makes cute her only unique trait among all the fireside girls (except technically Isabella)

She’s also the only (known) one with the semaphore patch (that isn’t on her wiki but it is stated in bee story) 

btw this is totally unrelated to my design but I’m thinking what if Katie got into color guard when she’s older? skjdhfakasj idk I think she would like it

Anyways!! At another point in the wiki it mentions her “running gag” (running gag in quotations because it only happened once I watched the episode specifically looking for this) where she says/does unusual things to get a glance from the other girls

I’m taking that to mean she’s silly!!!!! 

Hence the crocs sksjdhfak

The overalls just seemed to fit her nature, and like I know Baljeet already has overalls but she’ll fight him for it k? skjhdsak

Milly

I’ll say here that Milly and Holly have the least characterization from their wikis which I’m very sad about

Okay so Milly’s  “Kind, helpful, Happy” (no unique traits), is bad with secrets (operation crumb cake), and has one more Help Thy Neighbor patch because she went back to Phineas and Ferb’s house after everyone left at some point

Unfortunately from first glance we don’t don’t have a lot to go off of character design wise with these

However!! I know another character who's bad with secrets, helpful, and wears a bow in her hair!! That's right- Webby Vanderquack (btw very sorry to anyone who hasn't watched Ducktales I’m gonna keep bringing it up because I love it a lot I’m sorry)

So I loosely based this design on Webby’s! Aka dress shirt thing (in this case, a blouse) and a skirt that I think is neat!! 

Webby’s design leans more into her nerdy side and so I made Milly’s lean toward sweetness!! (not saying Milly isn’t nerdy, there's just no evidence to suggest that she is so I didn’t lean into that) (also that would be too close to literally just drawing Webby’s outfit which I also didn’t want to do)

Holly

I’m restating that Holly and Milly get practically nothing from their wikis (Holly getting the least)

Like  “Kind, nice, helpful” -The P&F wiki on Holly

Go girl!! Give us nothing!!!!!

skjdjhf okay but actually there is exactly one thing we can get from the wiki

While she doesn't have any unique patches, if we look at my patch reference sheet below

You may notice that for all the patches that 3 people got; Gretchen and Holly have all four (Ginger being replaced with Adyson for the Rodeo Clown patch)

In conclusion: Gretchen and Holly are best friends.

Look I know I’m blowing this a little out of proportion, but they gave me literally nothing so I’m running with what I have

Anyways!! I’m taking Gretchen and Holly being best friends as Holly is also wicked smart!! 

So in conclusion that all adds up to I’m also making Holly’s outfit nerd-esq because I can

This time basing it loosely of of Satsuki from My Neighbor Totoro because she’s who I think of for an orange and yellow color scheme! 

(she also gives me Boyd (DT again) vibes from the color I chose for the shorts though haha)

Adyson

Starting right off the bat the wiki gives us “Sometimes comical, helpful, accident-prone, nice”

Accident prone gives us bandages

Adyson also has the unique patch of the appliance repair patch 

She also used to have the record patch for earning six patches in one day before Candace broke that record!

So I gave her running shorts and a sleeveless hoodie because I take that as she’s slightly sporty (athlesure but more casual)

Adyson was really much more straightforward than the others

I had an idea in my head that made sense so I went with it, y’know?

Ginger

okay but WHY IS GINGER SO TALL

I’m not even talking about how much taller I made her here because I was basing it off of the show!!! She’s stupid tall!!! 

And like I know Stacey and her mom are both tall so of course she would be too but LOOK AT THIS

I MEAN ?????? BRO-

Anyways moving on! :D

I REALLY liked her light blue and indigo color scheme in aya so I tried to keep that! 

I wish I could have incorporated a little more light blue but with the style of dress I went with that wasn’t really possible

Speaking of her dress!! Why’d I do that you may ask? 

I dunno I thought it looked cute! 

Listen- I love giving explicit reasons for each and every choice I make, but honestly there's usually a point where I have no ideas and go “eh its cute”

and thats what happened here! 

Thanks for reading if you got this far!!

If I missed some details or you have ideas please come talk to me!! I really want to do a good job for these guys (they absolutely deserve it) and could use all the help I can get!