#dragons don't know paradise

[dewitty1]

Dragons Don't Know Paradise

teacup_tai @teacup-tai

Chapters: 25/25 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin Characters: Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Luna Lovegood, Rolf Scamander, Theodore Nott, Blaise Zabini, Pansy Parkinson Additional Tags: Falling In Love, they meet online, Draco needs a hug, he has many secrets, Harry is a Cinnamon Roll, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin Raise Harry Potter, HIV+ Remus, Family feelings, Sirius and Remus are good dads, HIV+ and Aids, Depression, Group Therapy, queer community, bookshop au, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, I am generally heavy handed with the hurt bit, but this is a advent kinda fic so I am trying to embrace the comfort bit, there is no heartbreaking blowjob, but there is a sad wank, online sex, Sexting, Suicidal Thoughts, Identity Reveal, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Drarry, wolfstar, Early Bird 25 Days of Harry and Draco 2020, Grieving, Condoms, Rimming, Fingering, Anal Sex, Safe Sane and Consensual, Happy Ending, no magic Series: Part 1 of Dragons Don't Know Paradise

Summary:

In 2004, when Remus spends two scary weeks in the ITU due to complications of pneumonia and his HIV condition, Sirius walks around the house like a ghost and Harry finds comfort and strength in Draco through a chat in an online LGBT forum. Harry falls for him, but Draco has a lot of secrets and, before long, will need to come clean—even if he believes that no one is able to understand a dragon.

This is a story about falling in love online and about facing the reality of death, but above all, this is a story about hope, finding love and acceptance. (Non-magical / bookshop AU, written for the 25 days of Drarry 2020)

(੭ˊ͈ ꒵ˋ͈)੭*⁺˚. * ･ ｡ﾟ☆

Excerpt:

“When we met in the forum, I was hopeless,” he goes on, fingers holding tight now. “I thought no one would ever love me or care for me anymore. But then you were there, talking about your godfather Moony, about how scared you were of losing him,” Draco’s voice waivers a bit. He takes a shaky breath. “About how much you loved him, even though—”

His voice catches in the back of his throat and Harry holds his hand tighter, pulling him in back here, now, in the car, in his hands.

“Even though he is HIV-positive.” Draco says.

He takes a long breath. 

Harry wonders. And maybe—

“I met you when my head was still full of prejudices and myths and fear and I was so bloody afraid of being lonely, Harry.”

Harry sees Draco’s face transforming in front of him, and there’s this deep sadness that always accompanied Draco from the moment Harry met him. But this time, Harry can see it with his own eyes, how Draco’s eyes look sorrowful and cold and scared and lost. 

So bloody lost. 

“Harry, I’m...I-I’m—” His lips tremble and his eyes go wet and Harry watches transfixed as a tear slides down Draco’s cheek and he shuts his eyes firmly. 

Lost.

Afraid.

Full of self-loathing.

Scared of not being loved. 

And it clicks. 

Because Harry has lived his whole life surrounded by different kinds of people with these same struggles and fears. He was raised by a man that fought everyday against the constant disgust and discrimination thrown at him. 

Harry watched first-hand how slurs and offences were spat at Remus, how his own teachers have been concerned sometimes about Harry being raised by a HIV-positive gay man. 

He wonders how he hasn’t noticed before.

Draco’s eyes are closed, his lips pressed in a tight line and his shoulders shaking lightly. 

Harry sees him. Truly. For who he is, for the fears he has, for the life he’s been grieving after for all these months.

He understands, finally. Even without the words being said. 

But he needs to hear it.

Harry moves, taking Draco’s face in both his hands, drying the tears with the pads of his thumbs and coaching Draco’s face up. 

“Look at me, Draco,” he asks with a gentle voice. “ Please , look at my bright green eyes and say it. Trust me,” Harry pleads. 

Draco’s eyes open—they look strikingly bright. He licks his lips and sniffs softly. He lifts his hands and takes hold of Harry’s wrists—not aggressively, not to move him away, just holding on, holding still, keeping himself grounded. 

Draco takes a deep shaky breath. The rims of his eyes are damp and reddened. He blinks twice and then looks at Harry firmly, his hold on Harry’s wrists goes tighter. His jaw works and he swallows, licking his lips softly. 

(*reccers note - there is a spoiler from the fic under the cut. I often post the Drarry first kiss as my recs. I don’t think this takes away from the fic at all. You may feel differently. If you decide to read further that is your choice.)

“I’m HIV-positive, Harry.”

Draco’s voice is not shaking this time. It’s clear and louder than before. Resolute.

Harry nods, feeling resolute himself.

“Thanks for telling me, Draco.” His voice doesn’t waiver either. 

Their gaze holds, with intense emotion and spoken truth. 

And Harry understands.

The low self-esteem. 

The depression. 

The weight loss. 

The pain. 

The shame.

The sadness. 

The fears.

The lies .

Harry really understands.

“Draco, I’m going to kiss you now,” Harry warns, a second before he moves forward and presses their lips together.

꒰˘̩̩̩⌣˘̩̩̩๑꒱♡

[teacup-tai]

Dragons Don't Know Paradise (Drarry 50k)

Today is World AIDS Day. It also is my fic Dragons Don't Know Paradise 2nd birthday. My fic about HIV+ characters, about hope and love and found family. I didin't realise in December 2020 about the massive coincidence of posting the first chapter of my 25 days of Harry and Draco fic that the 1st of December was the most perfect day to start this story. Dragons is my first long Drarry fic, and it's probably my best story. I love it so much and I'm so grateful to everyone who read, gave me kudos, love and comments.

To everyone out there living with HIV, I send you my love, my support and my respect. You will always find in me an ally against the hardship of world and prejudice. <3

Dragons Don't Know Paradise (50k, Drarry + Wolfstar)

Summary: In 2004, when Remus spends two scary weeks in the ITU due to complications of pneumonia and his HIV condition, Sirius walks around the house like a ghost and Harry finds comfort and strength in Draco through a chat in an online LGBT forum. Harry falls for him, but Draco has a lot of secrets and, before long, will need to come clean—even if he believes that no one is able to understand a dragon. This is a story about falling in love online and about facing the reality of death, but above all, this is a story about hope, finding love and acceptance.

love, tai

[torgawl]

crack theory: what if the abyss twin isn't a descender because they're an ascender?

[ninety-pairs-of-socks]

forgot to pos it here

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

Paradise Lost nobles reacting to being called babygirl

Gamigin: Make sure to take your vitamines.

Mc: Sure thing, babygirl.

Gamigin confused: I'm not a girl. Shouldn't I be your babyboy?

Mc: Nah, babygirl suits you better.

Gamigin is confused, but he's got the spirit. Trys to call you babygirl as well and you almost choke while laughing. Please explain to the autistic dragon what babygirl is, he doesn't get it, but he wants to be included. Once you explain to him the joke behind it, he'll start calling everyone in Paradise Lost babygirl. Uses it so much that it infiltrates Lucifer's vocabulary. You won't be able to go to Paradise Lost again without being called baby girl

Morax: Done! The cavaty has been removed. How are you feeling MC?

Mc: Amazing... Thanks babygirl

Morax: You're welcome!

This man... when I tell you that Morax is the most squishable character in whb. He has no fucking brain, this man is an orange cat, a lobotomy survivor. He gets high on nose sprays every morning. I want to aggressively shake him until he pukes from motion sickness.

Anyways, he wouldn't even notice he's been called babygirl. Even if he goes, he just takes it as a compliment. He is very babygirl if you ask me.

Buer: That would be 200 dollars

Mc: What?! I didn't know Paradise Lost doesn't have universal healthcare.

Buer: We do have universal healthcare, but yoga isn't considered healthcare. So, that's 200 for all of our sessions.

Mc: Can't you make a discount for me, babygirl?

Buer: No.

Calling him nicknames isn't going to get you free yoga classes. There's no nickname you could use that he hasn't heard before from people trying to weasle out of their payment.

Marbas: ...

Mc: ...

Marbas: Don't say it.

Mc: Babygi-

Mc proceeded to get body pressed by Marbas and his metal wheel thing (tf are those called?). This man has been called babygirl by the entirety of Abaddon since he's the doctor assigned to that region. He has had enough. If he hears anyone call him babygirl again, he'll start friendly-firing right through your skull.

Lucifer and MC are cuddling peacefully

Lucifer: Become imortal with me, Mc, and I'll make sure not a single day of yours is touched by sorrow.

Mc: ...damn, babygirl, who gave you the right to be so poetic?

Lucifer just takes it. No reply, no nothing, he just nods. It kind of reminds him that you're human, since only those would laugh at sarcasm like this. It's fine, he loves you even if you aren't imortal. He just wished that you would call something more romantic like "love" or "darling", though he won't say that out loud.

[harunayuuka2060]

WHB Series #1 (Cont.)

Lucifer: ...

Buer: ...Your Majesty?

Lucifer: *has received reports regarding MC*

Lucifer: It's impossible for a human to be mistaken for a god, unless…

Lucifer: ...

Lucifer: I want to meet the descendant of Solomon.

Buer, Marbas, Morax, and Gamigin: *smiles*

Buer: Then we shall bring them to you.

MC: *notices the gradual changes in Gabriel as they continue to feed him their blood*

Gabriel: *takes pleasure in the fact that his god is still giving him attention*

MC: The marks on his face faded, but a new one has appeared.

MC: Now the thing is, I don't understand what the fuck this means.

Gabriel: God...

MC: I forbid you from talking, didn't I?

Gabriel: ...

Gabriel: *tries to get closer*

MC: *activates the bomb inside him*

Gabriel: *coughs up blood*

MC: I let you stay by my side, but that doesn't mean you can act comfortable with me.

Gabriel: *smiles* My apologies...

Satan: *walks in* Are you done with your lab rat?

Gabriel: *glares at him*

MC: Is there an emergency?

Satan: ...

Satan: Devils of Paradise Lost are here. They want to see you.

MC: Paradise Lost? Who's the king ruling there?

Satan: Lucifer.

MC: ...

MC: Are they here for my head? *smirking*

Satan: You don't look nervous at all.

MC: I don't have the reason to. Let's go.

Gabriel: God, please take me with you!

MC: *looks at him with a hostile expression* And what use may you be?

Gabriel: ...

Gabriel: *his face turns ecstatic*

Satan: *grabs MC's hand and drags them out of the room*

Satan: He's falling in love.

MC: You mean getting obsessed.

Satan: For someone who doesn't give a shit, you don't know how to control your charm.

MC: Why is it my fault? He's a masochist incarnate.

Buer: Greetings to the descendant of Solomon.

MC: ...

MC: You're Buer, aren't you? You really look like a sly fox.

Buer: !!!

MC: *then looks at the others* We also have Morax and Marbas here. The top healers.

Marbas and Morax: !!!

MC: And- *looking at Gamigin*

MC: ...

MC: Who the fuck are you?

Gamigin: My name is Gamigin! *grins* Nice to meet you!

MC: ...

MC: You're not a devil.

Gamigin: Nope! I'm a dragon!

MC: Ah... You're a breath of fresh air.

Gamigin: ???

Satan: What's that supposed to mean?

MC: What's your business here?

Marbas: We want to invite you to Paradise Lost.

MC: And?

Gamigin: And??

MC: I only get invited to visit a country to deal with angel attacks.

MC: And with the reputation of Paradise Lost, I don't think you will need my help.

Buer: *smiles* You are indeed the descendant of Solomon.

Buer: Yes, you are right. We've come here for a different reason.

Morax: We've heard about the rumors. You have quite the reputation as well.

MC: ...

MC: If I go with you, what are my chances of getting out alive?

Marbas: Little to none.

Gamigin: Why would you say that-

MC: I accept.

Satan: Oi!

[r0-boat]

I had a thought

How would the kings or nobles (preferably Belial & Jjyu, Eligos, Gamigan, Leraye, and Ppyong) react to an MC who is absolutely CRACKED at claw/crane machines?

Like, just wins every single prize and empties the machines

(Is Ppyong considered a noble? Idk I like that red lumpy looking potato tho)

🦩 anon

Oh absolutely I would consider Ppyong as a noble though I don't know if you want the human version or the lumpy potato So I'm just going to do the lumpy potato and it can be a platonic thing

I will do the nobles you have listed there! Because I feel like the kings and the nobles would be a little too much!!

Anyways without further ado

Whb various react to crane claw master mc

Crane claw machines work differently in hell than in the human world. But even with the less scummy practices of these claw machines It was still relatively difficult to get a prize.

Ppyong

But not to you, who was so used to the limp and rigged claws of the machines back home. The Crane claw machines in hell were practically a cakewalk. The red lump devil stared at you with wide, gleaming eyes as you bagged every toy you wanted with ease. He almost wasn't sure you were human; you were some kind of superhero! He tried to tell everyone about your super human skills, so he did...

Your skills came in great handy one day when he got himself stuck in a crane claw machine. You didn't have to crane claw him out Satan could have just destroyed the entire box...

Belial is okay at the crane claw machine, but he's not that good. He first found your secret skill when the two of you were out and about on one of your special dates when it was just you and him. He signed or wrote that he wanted to win you something. After winning you a plushie of a horned cat, He got a glimpse of your skill when you used one plushie to knock another down, getting two and one.

Belial

His lips parted for a second, trying the process because he knew crane claw machines were hard and even harder on Earth. It was not just an accident. Your moves were calculated.

He beamed when you told him that one was for him and the other was for Jjyu, who sadly couldn't make it because of his anger management class. His eyes lit up when he saw a Candy Crane claw machine. The two of you won every piece of candy from that machine before walking home with your goodies.

Crane claw machines are almost unheard of in Tartaros because the thought of losing money with no gain was nearly appalling. So when Eligos was walking through the streets of Gehhenna with you on the way to Tartaros and Saw that machine, He looked confused; it was a machine he had never seen before. And when you told him what it was and what it did, he was even more confused. Why would anyone want to risk their money for a possibility they won't get anything in return?

Eligos

Even though the fabric of the plushies was cheap, and these plushies in particular were cheaply made, You saw him eyeing a pink bunny. Why not? You put in some of the money that man would sometimes gift you and play. You smiled as you fumbled a bit, pretending not to pick up the watched in all punching his teeth every time you failed, before finally, you picked it up, which he excitedly gasped an excited 'yes!' slipping out of his mouth.

Holding the bunny in his arms Eligos now understands the appeal of these machines.

Gamigin SUCKS at crane claw machines! And there's not a lot of them around in Paradise Lost to test his skills since as the ruler of Paradise Lost, Lucifer thinks they're unnecessary and a waste of money and time. "If you want something that bad, you could just buy it at the store."His adoptive Big brother would say. The Young Dragon thinks that Lucifer doesn't get the thrill of winning a prize that you want so much!

Gamigin

You were on a whole another level. As you easily and quickly one three toys in one claw. He was speechless, Even though you moved so quickly each move you made seemed calculated. And you looked so serious too staring into the glass, calm and focused. Oh please teach him, oh great claw master! Teach him your secrets!

Extremely good at Crane claw machines. He has a good eye and is a lot smarter than what he lets on. So when he's bored he usually goes to an old arcade with games from either Earth or old games in hell when he's bored.

Leraye

He likes your skills and he wants to challenge you to a crane claw battle. Whoever wins the most stuff wins! The winner has to do whatever the person says for a day. And of course you win crane claw machines on Earth were much harder than green car machines in hell and he stood no chance. He is now other than your friend and lover your crane claw rival He shall get better and beat you one day and then shower you with the gifts he had one.

[xuterboo]

Good time everyone!

The cutting and analysis of images continues, and today my hands finally reached the Lost Paradise.

Let's meet our beauties!

Let's start with the broken king. Lost Paradise has quite a motley crew. Also, everything on the clothes is very scattered. Lucifer is wearing a strict black suit and a white striped shirt. An interesting observation: for Luci, both when he was still an angel and when he fell, The chest is open, emphasizing the scar. And he did not appear because of a fall from heaven. The scar was probably received before these events. (Fight for Seraphim's place?)

As shown in Liouifer's stories, his snake is alive, or rather, can come to life and move on its own.

I just want to throw in one thought: the biblical seraphim were created only to fly next to God and sing into his ears that he is so wonderful. This means that all Seraphim, including Luci, have a beautiful voice)

Well first of all, gooooospaby, how I love this dragon!!

And secondly, doesn’t it seem strange to anyone that the staff of Gamigin (the dragon) are different from Gamigin (the demon)? As you know, Gamigin (dragon) devoured the demon who slept with him, and apparently the dragon's pearl greatly changed the staff.

The gamigin himself is dressed in formal attire. But the casual look of directional sleeves makes the look looser. And also sneakers. Sneakers, damn it. Okay, if he likes it, then I won't mind. Blue color evokes pleasant and gentle sensations, but also helps reduce the desire to sleep. Nice contrast between Gamigin's activity and tenderness

Marbas... His clothes are more like ordinary clothes in a mental hospital, but the factory did not have white fabric, and they took some kind of black one. I still don’t quite understand why he would chain himself in this during a fight. This is inconvenient and even dangerous. Either I don't understand something, or I don't understand something. But nevertheless, he has a very interesting design.

No shoes. My pants are constantly falling down (my friend: Was it too weak to lower my pants any lower?) I have a long-sleeve shirt that reveals my shoulders almost completely. Acts as a straitjacket, but looks good in everyday life. (I hope it doesn't hurt for him to walk😔)

My sunshine Morax!☺️ I love him so much, I just can’t 🥹

He already has a more strict form of someone like a general. It can be assumed that he is more responsible for the military part of Lost Paradise .

He is probably in the same position as Glasialabolas (I hope I wrote it correctly), but as we have already noticed, PL is a more modest country than in Hades. Origin unknown. Most likely born in LP

He's covered in bandages. God, please give him a rest. Tie him down, but let him recover.

Next up is Buer. One of two demons, behind which there is some kind of creature. You can guess from his clothes that he is from Tartarus. But with feet stained with the gold of the Tartarus River, his origins are confirmed.

Dressed in a kimono of gold, red and black. In China these colors mean wealth (who would doubt it), joy and prosperity. (Buer makes me feel like he is a Chinese healer living high in the mountains. Healing, only those who have a pure soul, hee hee hee)

Also, according to official data from the Belphegor event, I am adding Batin to this collection, since he was born in the Lost Paradise.

He is a laid back lover of travel. Like most of the demons of Paradise Lost, he is dressed in black. Apparently in Nifelheim, Batin is also something of a general. In every country, one way or another there is a demon responsible for the troops, but in Gehenna this is not visible, since everyone has the same uniform.

I'm not entirely sure what culture Paradise Lost represents, as there's a lot going on there. I think this is the people who came together piece by piece from other countries. They brought something of their own to the new lands, combining knowledge with others, and this is how they turned out to be a unique nation. Friendly and quiet by nature. But as soon as you get to know them better, you will immediately see the warmth,which they emit. Although there is another facet that is in the shadows - their cruelty and indifference. It is shown when Adu or their loved ones.

The text turned out longer than I thought. OK...Thank you for reading! Write your interesting observations or thoughts about Paradise Lost!

[thelargefrye]

Welcome to Lost Paradise: February Filth Fest the 2024 tour featuring artist ATEEZ and Y/N. Throughout the month of February, the artist will perform a concert each day around a certain theme. this is ensure that each show of the tour is different from last one and that everyone gets a personalized experience.

PERFORMERS : ATEEZ + Y/N

GENRES : SMUT

WARNINGS : LANGUAGE, MATURE THEMES, SMUT, EACH CHAPTER WILL HAVE ITS OWN WARNINGS // READER'S DISCRETION IS ADVISED

want to join the tour ? check this out here !

KEEP UP WITH THE LATEST SHENANIGANS ON TOUR WITH Y/N. the master list for each day is under the cut.

day one : " getting the vip treatment from hongjoong " ( deepthroating )

day two : " broke up with my douchebag ex that cheated on me ... thanks hwa and joong for keeping me company " ( cheating / creampie )

day three : " mirror mirror on the wall, who's the hottest of them all and why is it yeosang? " ( mirror sex )

day four : " mingi dressed up as a cowboy for today's show ... anyone want to save a horse and ride a cowboy? no? just me? " ( public sex )

day five : " where did hongjoong get those blindfolds ? " ( auralism / sensory deprivation )

day six : " ugh , jongho looks so good today 😩 " ( dacryphilia )

day seven : " who knew yunho was a peeping tom when it came to me and woo " ( voyeurism )

day eight : " wooyoung you craaaaaazzyyyyy . . . i like it " ( experimental / nipple play )

day nine : " i miss sleeping with seonghwa . . . WAIT NOT LIKE THAT " ( long distance sex / praise )

day ten : " i will literally quit my job to start an onlyfans RIGHT NOW ! don't test me choi san " ( hate fucking )

day eleven : " i wanted to sleep but yunho said no 🙁 " ( somnophilia )

day twelve : " do you think san and yeosang have a mommy kink ? cause they acting like my mommys right now " ( mommy kink )

day thirteen : " oof– seonghwa can guard me ANY DAY with that uniform of his " ( uniform )

day fourteen : " yes , it is i – your favorite goddess " ( threesome / ritual )

day fifteen : " n e ways jongho can degrade me any day of the week " ( femdom / degradation )

day sixteen : " mingi looks a little cold . . . i'm gonna help him get warm " ( cockwarming )

day seventeen : " hongjoong is currently the bane of my existence and so annoying " ( body worship )

day eighteen : " WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME SEONGHWA WAS SO BIG THIS IS ILLEGAL " ( size kink )

day nineteen : " any screaming you hear tonight from me is thanks to yeosang " ( masturbation / edging )

day twenty : " what is this ? the addams family ? " ( soft dom-sub / roleplay )

day twenty - one : " tonights concept is birth of venus with yunho " ( aphrodisiacs / overstimulation )

day twenty - two : " i like dragons . . . LOOKING AT YOU JONGHO AND HWA " ( double penetration )

day twenty - three : " mingi , you cannot be sexy and soft at the same time . please my heart " ( breeding kink )

day twenty - four : " woo is literally that one kinky sticker that says something like ' don't make fun of me i'll cum ' and i think that says a lot about the both of us " ( pegging / feminization )

day twenty - five : " me and seonghwa were just watching a movie before san crashed movie night lol " ( free use / spit play )

day twenty - six : " peach and bowser who ? sorry i only know me and san " ( tentacle sex )

day twenty - seven : " it's you " ( cuckolding )

day twenty - eight : " wow , wooyoung can get feral sometimes 🫠 " ( predator-prey play / strength kink )

day twenty - nine : " happy birthday to me i guess 🥳 " ( gangbang )

smalls note : just a reminder that anyone is free to join february filth fest! make sure to tag me and topaz (sanjoongie) and use the tag #joongfryefff24! also this is my personal master list for the event and not the official post which is linked above.

credits : header template is by storm studio's on canva.

[yzashaven]

✰ ━━━ how they show affection for you <3

FEATURING scaramouche, tartaglia, xiao, albedo, thoma, kazuha, alhaitham, cyno x gn!reader

WARNINGS some are prob ooc 😭

NOTE (omfg these images are so low quality LMAO) on my past blogs, i usually only write nsfw so this is like... a change of pace? sort of... anyways hope you enjoy, likes and rbs are ofc appreciated! also, referring to wanderer as scaramouche since his name is player dependant

okay so hear me out when i say he seems like the type to take you to places with the prettiest views (shout out to his birthday voiceline) whether it be views of the sunset, a flower field, an ocean or beach view... as long as it's a pretty site to see, he'll take you there! scaramouche loves the way the places give him a peaceful feeling, and the way that it's just the two of you there? he's in paradise and heaven combined.

a bit similar to scara, tartaglia would take you to places. and by places i mean his homeland, snezhnaya, for the snow and to see his family. his little brother, teucer is certainly very fond of you, and tartaglia loves to watch you spend time with his siblings. he's such a family oriented guy... another thing he'd do is cook delicious meals for you! ranging from simple snacks to your personal favorites, and definitely some snezhnayan delicacies~

xiao is sweet to his lover, no doubt. but that doesn't mean he'll ignore his duties as an adeptus and focus on them. he expresses his love by protecting you... and maybe sharing his almond tofu. need his help? call out for him and he'll be there in an instant. also this whole love thing is very new to xiao, soo he's not used to things like hugging and kissing, yk those kinda stuff but he'll get used to it eventually. he does really like your company though, brings a smile to his face.

we all know albedo is a very amazing alchemist, he can make basically anything within a few hours or even minutes. he'd use his skill and powers to give you sentimental itemsㅡ such as a bouquet of flowers that never wither or ones that glow in your favorite color. If you don't really like flowers, don't worry, he can make whatever it is that you want! oh you want a dragon? he'll try and will come back to you with a small, cute, non-hostile looking one that protects you <3

he is sometimes busy due to work for the kamisato clan and being the "fixer" in inazuma, but he never forgets to make time for you! his love language is definitely quality time as he loves to just relax and accompany you wherever. another way thoma shows affection is through doing errands and other things for you such as cooking, cleaning around in your teapot realm, curing for your wounds if you ever get hurt, and maybe doing a commission or two of yours!

kaedehara kazuha... he's such a romantic man when it comes to his lover. he'll write you a poem literally every single day and compliment you every minute. kazuha also likes to run his hands through your hair as he whispers sweet nothings in your ear while you watch the sun set together at the best vantage point in wherever it is you're traveling at. he also definitely introduced you to his mom(beidou) so he takes you with him on the crux for fun adventures together! or just taking naps as the boat sets sail.

as the akademiya's scribe, alhaitham is often busy attending to those missions along with his personal investigations and other matters. so to prevent any lost time, he takes you with him. you're quite the strong fighter yourself so there won't be any problems, right? and if something bad does happen, he's your savior. despite talking sharply at times about how you weren't being careful or being reckless, he still loves you and will be happy that you're safe. alhaitham would reassure you about that too. also you study together at the akademiya library sometimes, he really likes having you around :3

cyno is a man of few words but reassures you about how much he loves you and would quite literally tear apart, limb from limb anyone that tries to harm you. cyno keeps a close eye on you especially when he senses danger is near, he wouldn't even wish for anything bad to happen to you. as the general mahamatra, fighting is practically his specialty which is why he uses that fighting experience and knowledge to protect you even if you tell him that you can handle yourself, he insists as he doesn't want to risk losing you like that.

[fahye]

book recs: august '23

(I want to try and do these posts more frequently because I DEARLY miss yelling about books, txitter is [poop emoji]-ing, and bluesky is promising but I don't have much of an audience there yet)

ok! stuff freya has read recently and enjoyed:

A FIRE BORN OF EXILE by aliette de bodard -- did you enjoy nirvana in fire? this is for YOU. it's a revenge story set in aliette's xuya space opera universe, with a pile of complicated characters with mixed or obscured motives, a sapphic romance, and just really incredible use of worldbuilding and politics.

THE SLEEPING SOLDIER by aster glenn gray -- I am an enormous sucker for aster's historical m/m romances, and this one was incredible. a union soldier goes to sleep in 1865 and wakes up in 1965, and his new college roommate has a series of gay crises about it. sweet, exuberant, well researched. both a wonderful romance and an absolutely fascinating examination of male friendships and homosexuality in two different historical time periods.

A DEADLY EDUCATION by naomi novik -- doing a reread of the first two scholomance books before I dive into the third. these books are so disgustingly tailored to ME, a huge fan of magical academia stories with a truly deliciously unnecessary level of worldbuilding detail about how the magic works (and how the school is trying to kill you).

BATH HAUS by p.j. vernon -- a man goes to a gay bathhouse, cheating on his partner, and narrowly escapes being murdered. things get worse from there. I can only recommend this to you if you enjoy thrillers that STRESS YOU THE FUCK OUT, which I normally don't; I nearly put it down a couple of times, but I HAD to know what was going on. it's a masterclass in propulsive tension and does some really cool things with unreliable narration.

HAVEMERCY by jaida jones and danielle bennett -- seven hundred years late to this party, but OH MY GOD. this is the completely gay political/military fantasy of my dreams (the YEARNING), plus there are magical-mechanical dragons. I will be devouring the other books in this series in short order.

EVERY VERSION OF YOU by grace chan -- a beautiful and fascinating literary scifi book about humanity and family and love, and being given the choice to upload your consciousness to a digital paradise as the planet dies around you. unsurprisingly it deals with some heavy stuff, but it's fantastic. and australian!

A THIEF AND A GENTLEMAN by arden powell -- another m/m romance in arden's flos magicae series. the title alone is probably enough to tell you why I enjoyed it, but I especially liked the way it kept subverting my expectations in favour of more chewy emotional honesty and complexity.

STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER by fern brady -- a memoir by a scottish comedian about being diagnosed with autism in her thirties, and her life up to that point. funny and chaotic and an all-around amazing read. I loved fern on taskmaster and I love her even more now.

[tfp-is-my-lifeblood-lol]

I find the scene in "Stronger Faster" where Ratchet flirts with Arcee, and has his little: "How's it humming?" *fingerguns* moment to be so funny, because I headcanon that it's TOTALLY something Ratchet learned from human television.

Because, as far as we know, Cybertronians don't really flirt or have romantic desires the same way humans do, so Ratchet catcalling Arcee the way a human would is kinda like if a human tried to perform a weird mating dance like a bird of paradise. Like that one scene in How to Train Your Dragon 3 where Toothless hops around like an idiot.

Ratchet probably didn't even understand the actual meaning of anything he said or did. He just saw humans doing bad pick-up lines on TV, and copied it because he was high on green space crack.

It makes Arcee's reaction that much funnier, because it explains why she seems less mad, and more confused. Like: "Did he just...perform an alien mating ritual? Did he just pretend to be a human trying to court me? Huh?????"

[sparrowrye]

Demi Demon || Alastor x Reader, A3 part 5

Synopsis: Alastor disappeared for 8 years, leaving you confused, crushed, and angry. You spent those years building up your new self and protecting the haven from dangers left and right. What will happen when he returns to the new changes? Will he return anytime soon? Could you even go back to the way things were?

Previous part

Part 5: trouble in paradise

WARNING! You should make sure you're in the right mental headspace to deal with a challenging chapter like this (several mentions of suicide). Also, it's very long.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I am not having this conversation with you." I whisked around and headed for the front door, making sure my tail whipped against his leg as I did. He caught the end and yanked me back. I spun on my heels, teeth bared in a snarl, and eyes dark with anger. "How dare--"

"We are having this conversation." He took a step to meet me halfway, causing me to nearly run into his chest. He slammed his cane on the wood floor and brought his face close to mine. "Your behavior has been abrasive, rude, and unacceptable."

"My behavior? My behavior?" I slammed a hand on my own chest. "How about yours? You've been short with me and the children, you and Reagan can't seem to be adults and be in the same room for more than five minutes without tearing each other's throats out, you snap at Husker left and right, and you keep trying to tell me what to do."

He straightened up so he was looking down his nose at me. His smile was quirked up in a black gummy snarl. "The children are misbehaved, I refrain from speaking to Reagan but she insists on eliciting an argument, I'm treating Husker as I always have, and I am in no way telling you to do anything." His staticky voice was sharper than usual and he attempted to break through my shield with his mind. It edged on my anger as I reinforced the shield.

"That's right, you're not telling what to do." I jerked back my tail from his grip. "You're telling me what not to do. I've been on my own for eight years. Even longer than that before you came into my life. I don't need your protection or your help."

His ears bent back as his smile strained to stay up. My snarl fell from guilt.

"We have magic. You have far more advanced magic. If I'm in danger you can easily come and be the great savior. For now, leave me alone to hunt this bastard's factory down. I need to clear my head. Reagan and Lucas will take care of Nym and Thatcher." I turned back to the door, being extra careful to keep my tail close to my heels, and closed it behind me.

I morphed into my Dragon form and took to the skies. The wind whipped past my face and the clouds were a soothing dousing to my hot anger. I flew from cloud to cloud, keeping well out of sight until my wings grew tired from the exertion.

Incorporating Alastor back into my life, into everyone else's lives, didn't go as smoothly as I had planned.

The first biggest issue was the children. He didn't care for Nym and Thatcher in the slightest. He was actively annoyed by their mere presence and they knew it, too. It made them more avoidant of the house itself and more clingy to me when they were inside. They were either at my side or in their room -- never did they spend time with each other in the common spaces of the household. I felt guilty for letting that happen.

Reagan wasn't helping either. She and Alastor were always arguing whenever they were left alone together. Sometimes they even argued about me when I was present in the room. Reagan was protective of me, a trait I found admirable, but it was causing more problems than solutions. Alastor being Alastor, he didn't let any snide remarks or comments slide. I felt guilty for letting Reagan know more about the complicated relationship. I should've kept her oblivious for as long as possible.

Husker was also being avoidant. He didn't frequent the old house like he used to and any time Alastor stepped in the room he fell silent and stood on the opposite side of the room as me. It didn't take long to realize Alastor was upset that Husker and I were close--closer than Alastor and I. Guilt gnawed at my chest for not defending my friend.

The others, from Charlie to Vivian, to Althea, to Vilcin, and to everyone in between, were constantly asking me how I was holding up with Alastor. Reagan's words echoed in my head about how she and Husker had to deal with my affects of Alastor's disappearance. So I put on a smile and told them we were working on it.

Althea had caught me on the streets and tried to dig deeper, claiming that the thread between me and Alastor was very transparent. I kept up the act and told her we were taking small steps to make it stronger. She didn't believe me--I could tell by the way she looked at me--but there was nothing she could do about it.

I touched down in a random forest and melted into the shadows. I skidded across the unoccupied plots of land until I came to a town. I picked a random shadow and stayed hidden in it, listening and watching all around me. How much more simpler were these people's lives? My own life felt so vastly unique that it actually felt tragic.

I jumped from shadow to shadow, from town to town, for hours on end. No amount of hunting could reveal any kind of information. Though I wasn't really searching for anything. I knew Vox's trackers would lead us right to the factory but I needed something to do. My responsibilities in the haven had vanished--likely from Charlie's input--on the account of giving me more time to spend with my family. If only they knew that it would better help me if I had something to occupy my hands and mind.

So I stayed off the haven's grounds from dawn to dusk, and further on. I was procrastinating my next interaction with Alastor. I knew he wouldn't severely hurt me but the memories from when we first met had begun to resurface. Alastor always had a screw loose so what would happen if he was pushed to the very edge? I was likely going to be the one on the receiving end of it.

I manifested in an alley of a small town and sat down. I was exhausted; physically and mentally. I leaned my head against the cold brick and listened with my Demon ears, no magic, to the sounds of the quiet little town.

I could hear mumbled conversations from family's and couples, could hear the static of radios and televisions, could hear the rustle of a cat looking for dinner in a nearby street, and could hear my own labored breathing.

I was feeling panic. Why was I panicking? Why was I sweating so much? I hadn't used a lot of magic today or even recently. Why was my chest so tight?

My fingers gripped the stone beneath me. I scraped my foot claws so they drew little white lines in the pavement. My heart was thundering in my ears and adrenaline was confusing through my body for no apparent reason.

I leaned to the side on my forearms as it became difficult to breathe. My throat was so tight and my hands felt cold. There was no magic around me. I couldn't feel anyone. I couldn't hear or see anyone either, meaning any of Blackwater's legacy weren't nearby.

So what was wrong?

My breathing came in wheezes. I gripped my maroon jacket as I my vision darkened. My claws were scrapping against the pavement. I needed to breathe. My magic wasn't working. Why wasn't it working? I couldn't sit still. I just needed to breathe.

"What's wrong with you?"

My head snapped up at Vox's familiar voice. My lips pulled back in a snarl as I scrambled to my feet and attempted to collect myself.

"What do you want?" I demanded.

"You seemed like you were struggling so I came to check."

"How sweet," I mused sarcastically. I was so out of breath.

He gave me an unamused look. "Trouble in paradise?"

"That's none of your concern."

"Oh sure it is," he held his hands behind his back, "When my lovely guardian is shriveling on the cold ground in my territory, it becomes my concern."

Shit. I hadn't realized I was on Vee territory. I hadn't paid attention to any of the trademarks of their land.

"Don't you have a ring fight to broadcast?" I snapped. I was so hot. My magic was struggling to cool me down. Why couldn't I control my magic? Was Vox in on this? Was he causing this?

"My champion doesn't fight on weekdays." He casually pulled out his phone and started scrolling on something. Vox had concocted a strange mix of willing and unwilling fighters for a massive ring fight. He broadcasted these fights nearly every evening. They didn't always end in death but that didn't make it any less. It made me grateful that part of our deal included that I would not defend his stations if there was an active ring fight. It kept my name from being tarnished.

I hate politics.

I put my hands in my pockets and left the small alley. I tried to get Alcine to wrap around my legs to teleport me but she wasn't willing. Her large hat stayed within my peripheral as I tried several times over to melt into the shadows. Something was very wrong.

Vox's loud, metal boots tapped the ground as he came running up to me. I turned right as he reached for my face. Blue claws zapped with blue electricity. It ran through my body and left me frozen in place in the new location. My hair was sticking up and my tense body was ready to kill someone.

As soon as Vox's flat face came into view, I struck. My black claws wrapped around his throat and the other gripped the corner of his screen to keep his head from moving. I wrapped my tail around his torso and stepped my massive foot claws on top of his feet.

"I made it very clear that you were to never do that again," I hissed, spit falling on his screen in tiny drops. My voice had dropped and my eyes blackened. My own vision had a coat of dark purple across it.

"F-figured you could...use some personal space." Vox choked against my tight hand. I examined the room. It looked like a simple lounge room. The bright pink and various other colors told me we were in one of Valentino's studios. My magic reached out to feel we were down in Hell.

Vox stifled a cough. I shoved him away so his back hit the wall. "Why is everyone attempting to protect me? I'm the one who protected the Haven for eight years straight. I'm the one who killed Blackwater. I'm the one who you asked to protect your surface stations. I don't need help or protection!"

Vox rubbed a hand on his neck. "It's out of care," he shot back, "You've done a lot for everyone and we just want to return the favor."

"You can return the favor by staying out of my way and leaving everything to me. I can handle it." My tail whipped furiously behind me as I stepped in a circle. My foot claws tapped the tile loudly.

Vox fixed his suite. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're hella good protecting everyone but shit when it comes to yourself."

"What is that supposed to mean?" My eyes narrowed and I grew very still.

"This isn't the first time you're having mental problems. You almost didn't come back after killing Striker and Blackwater."

"How do you know that information?" I took several steps towards him.

"I have my sources." For the first time, he wasn't smug about it. Was he actually trying to be kind and helpful?

"You're an awfully nosy person." I was gradually reigning my magic in. I knew how to pick at the smallest bit of magic, thanks to Adam and Blackwater, but doing it while awake and conversing with another Demon was a different story.

"It helps me stay connected with everything that's happening. Hence why I gave you a phone but don't listen in. You need to stay just as connected as me." He reached his magic out to touch mine. I magically flinched away. There were few times in our interactions that we had had genuine conversations. This felt like one of them.

"You seem interested in helping me more now that Alastor is back." I put my hands in my pockets and pulled my shoulders back.

He gave me a funny look. "I've been trying to help for the past eight years. Are you telling me you haven't noticed? I'm the one who approached you about our deal."

"I know you've done nothing but flirt with me and try to convince me to leave Alastor."

"Now that he's back, I know you won't leave him. Well, I know he won't let you leave." He flicked his hand dismissively, eyes averted to the side.

Something about the way Vox said that itched the wrong part in my brain.

"You realize I have as much a say as he does."

Vox's sly look returned. That's the Vox I knew how to handle. "Do you? You're not even a hundred years old. He's got centuries on you."

"And centuries are supposed to mean he's in charge of my every step and word?"

"You're his soulmate. And he's--well--he's Alastor. He's not one to just let things happen."

"Are you trying to stroke my ego or degrade it? I've gotten both from you in the span of five minutes." I faked a look at a nonexistent watch on my wrist.

"I'm trying to talk you down from whatever panic attack you were having in the alley. And it looks like I did exactly that."

I took stock and realized he was right. My magic was back in my grip, my hands weren't as sweaty, my heart was at a normal rate, and my head felt clear. So that had been a panic attack? I didn't get panic attacks. I had meltdowns when things were too much but I never had a panic attack before. This wasn't good.

"I appreciate the help," I said, suddenly very sullen and not at all representing my Dragon Demon persona, "but I need to return home now."

"I'll be here if you ever need someone to grab a cup of coffee with." His tone was just as sullen as mine as he walked to the door. I melted with Alcine and found a small, empty alley in Pentagram City. Before I could convince myself otherwise, I teleported back up to the surface.

It was a new moon which made everything look pitch black. I could hear the splash of the waves at the base of the cliff and the whistling of the wind. I reached my magic out to feel Reagan, Lucas, Nym, Thatcher, and Alastor all safe in the house. I checked in on the young pair, the horrid nightmare of Adam standing over them resurfacing, before going to my bedroom.

Alastor was in his office so I quickly changed into soft night clothes and glanced at the old timey clock on the mantle. Why was he in his office at this hour? What was he doing? Was he avoiding me as much as I was avoiding him?

I casted the small fire out and climbed into bed. Alastor walked in a few minutes later. My ears strained to listen to his soft movements until he was lying in bed next to me. I ignoring the guilty pit forming in my stomach and put myself to sleep.

Had I known what would happen, I wouldn't have gone to sleep that night.

****

I let out a sigh and hung up the towel. I looked at my red eyes and saw another bright pair behind me. I screamed and spun a cast back at him, slipping on the tile as I did. The back of my knees hit the rim of the tub and I fell backwards in it. I scrmabled back with my hand outstretched. The faucet dug into my spine. He practically glided into the small room.

"Don't come closer!" I yelled. "My accuracy gets better every time."

"Your Slight magic stands no chance against me," he mused, "but I appreciate the confidence."

"The fuck do you want?" I demanded again.

"Should it surprise you that I want to meet my soulmate?" He tilted his head to the side.

"If you kill me you also die," I reminded him.

He chuckled. "I know how the magic of soulmates work, my dear." He stepped close and held out a hand to me. "If I wanted you dead, I would have done so already." The deepening of his tone didn't make me want to accept his gesture any more than already.

------

I landed hard on my back and felt a crack run through my spine. I sucked in a gasp of air and stared up at the gray sky. I gripped at the wet grass and tried to pull my strength back in. Alastor appeared above me a moment later, smiling down at my paralyzed body. He knelt beside my head so his ugly yellow smile came closer to my face.

"This suites you," he said, "this desperation. You're trying so hard to escape no matter what it does or if it kills you." He pushed a strand of hair out of my eyes. "Unfortunately for you, it matters to me because we share the same fate."

"Fuck you."

His smile lessened slightly. "I'll add another rule for you to follow." He grabbed my throat and hoisted me to my feet. His claws dug painfully into my skin until I could feel my blood soaking my shirt. He pushed me against a tree and leaned in close to my face. I pulled on his wrist and tried not to cough in his face. "Rule number five. Never speak to me in such a way again." He paused. "Words like that are unbefitting for a woman."

"You can..." I struggled to speak clearly, "you can...keep me here but...but I'm...but I will not play...play by your rules." My heart was racing as his grip tightened even more so. He dies if you die. He dies if you die. I repeated in my head.

He let go of me and I fell face first into the ground. I gasped and coughed up spit as I rubbed my throat. "Give it time." I saw his feet walk around to stand in front of me. "I can be very persuasive."

------

"I know what you're trying to do," I jutted a finger at him. I leaned against the wall to get off my injured foot. "You did this to me on purpose. You're trying to make me grateful for you."

"So what if I am?" He put his hands up like sharp ugly flowers. "After all, you should be grateful. You could carry on with a life in the rings or spend it in a distant safe house with nothing to worry about ever again."

"It's a cage."

"To you, my dear, everything is a cage." He walked over and put his hand out to me.

"What?" I looked between his red eyes and his dark claws.

"Are you ready to return home now?"

I almost wished he had just teleported me back without asking. I didn't want to touch him let alone take his hand. Who knew if he had conjured up some kind of magic deal that solidified when I grabbed his hand?

And yet, when I looked around at the quiet, dangerous town, I knew there wasn't another option. He would keep looking for me and a Full mage with his power could most certainly find me with ease. I didn't want to go back in that cellar. All because I had the worst luck in the world and had him as a soulmate.

I looked down at my feet and took his hand.

------

"What is it, doll? What's happening?"

"He's...the man...he's wearing a white suite...exactly the color of his hair...and he's yelling with her. They're fighting. There's yelling. He hits her. She's arguing back but not fighting. Why won't she fight?"

"Stay with me dear." She touched my lap. I tried to lower my tense shoulders but it was hard.

"He picked me up and...he closed the door on her. She's screaming. Why is she screaming? Why is he taking me away from her? I can't...I can't reach her. I don't...where is he taking me? I don't want to leave her."

"Enough sweetheart, come back. Come out of the memory." She touched my shoulder this time. "Come back to my store. Come back to this world. It's all just a memory."

"I can't stop crying. Why...is that my mother?"

"Sweetheart, you need to come back. You're going in too deep. Stop the emotions."

"But...I want to see her."

"We'll look next time. We can come back next time but you need to take a break. Come out of the memory. Come back to the store. Blink twice and look up."

I stared at the figure reaching out to me through the bars. I was so close. I just wanted to touch her hand one more time. But it was just a memory. She wasn't really there. She might not even be alive at all.

------

"You need to accept the fact that you will never leave this place for the rest of your life," he said with radio static behind his voice. He let me down so my feet were flat on the ground but so he could tower over me. I put one hand on his wrist and the other arm across his chest to keep him away.

"I'm growing tired of your antics. These little outbursts of yours will stop today." It was more terrifying that he was smiling through his anger. I leaned away despite the sheer drop beneath me and he followed, never more than an inch away. "If you don't want me to treat you like a caged pet, I suggest you apologize and quit it with this delusion of yours."

His smile was wide and his breath smelled like roadkill. He dug his claws further into the wound he created, making me wince. "I'm-I'm sorry." He held me over the edge for several heartbeats. Eventually he pulled me away but didn't let get off my neck.

"I never want to hear you mention anything about leaving here, again. To me or to Husker. Do you understand?"

I wanted to cough from the way he was holding me but I held it in. The tentacles were still pulling onto my wings and pulling them painfully down. My resignation made my shoulders fall. "Perfectly."

He let go. I turned to the side to cough, clutching at my bleeding neck. I felt the wounds closing but the blood was still plastered to my skin.

"Good talk." His cane appeared in one hand and he put the other behind his back. His voice sounded chipper again. "Come, dear, let's clean you up." He held his hand out towards the house, looking at me sideways. I took a deep breath and walked past. He walked close behind me.

------

"Sweetheart it's a memory. It's not actually happening," Rosie said.

I cried as the memory continued. I bit down on the man's hand but he just pulled my hands further away from my face. I tried curling in on myself but it did nothing. His other hand moved roughly over my skin as I screamed into the gag.

I felt Alastor's presence come from behind me. I squeezed my eyes shut and dipped into my mindscape. "Alastor!" I yelled as the memory dragged me back through my shields. I felt his presence wrap around my head and saw nothing but red. It felt like a string was being pulled out of my ear as he pushed me into the safety of my shields.

"You're safe. Come out of your head," he instructed.

I closed my eyes, pushing away the forbidden memory, and opened my eyes to the library. All three of them were surrounding me, staring down with panic-stricken faces. Alastor opened his eyes and took his hand from my forehead. His eyebrows were the only thing that told me he was upset.

Husker pulled me up to a sitting position as Rosie practically shoved a glass of water down my throat. I took several moments to catch my breath, the two of them trying to help calm me. I stared at the carpet and tried to think of anything other than that horrid memory. I didn't know I even had that memory.

"You're back, and you're safe," Husker said, holding out his paw. I took it and let him help me into a chair. I leaned back into the seat and looked around at the dark library. I was back in the house. I was safe. Relatively.

------

"Do you feel that?" Alastor stood, my hand still firmly trapped on his and pulling me to my feet. He smiled wide and tapped his fingers on his cane. It felt like a flow of magic was cycling between us. It was the same feeling as when a strong gust of wind blows in my face. It felt good.

"Did I do it? Did I unravel it?" I asked. Husker and Niffty were well awake and watching intently.

"Oh you most certainly did. The curse is gone and your true power shines through." His smile widened and looked janky, truly devilish. His eyes had a look of insanity to them. "It will only grow and grow with time. I will be there every step of the way to guide and harbor this power of yours."

I suddenly wanted to be twenty yards from him. I tried to let go but his grip only tightened. His shadow loomed behind him with a large smile and my own shadow turned into a dragon again.

"Our magic combined is like nothing I've seen before." He jerked my hand back so I stumbled into him. My head had to tilt way back just to keep eye contact. "Together, with our combined power, we will be untouchable." His hair had hardened into spikes and his antlers grew overhead. His eyes darkened and his smile reached well past them. Were those stitches on the corners of his mouth?

His claws weren't touching my skin but his grip was crushing my hand. I could feel pins and needles poking through my finger and it went straight up to my shoulder.

"You're...you're hurting me," I whimpered.

------

"Alastor...I..." It was getting harder to breathe. "I didn't...he took me. I...I didn't leave—" pain cut off my words. I squeezed my eyes shut as it rocked through my spine and into head.

"I'm aware." He pressed his claws around my temples and I felt the pain dull. He slipped his arms under my shoulders and legs, lifting me up effortlessly. "Take a look, my dear."

I opened my eyes to see the alley littered with dead and deformed bodies. There had to be at least thirty dead Demons.

"That was all you."

My shoulders fell with my spirit. I had killed all of them. I had even eaten some of them. Their sweet blood still lingered on my tongue and I found myself wishing for more. I could see their scared faces in my mind and feel my heart quicken at the mere thought of them being terrified. They had all been so scared when I had transformed.

Alastor turned the other way but I stared at the site over his shoulder. I actually wanted him to let me go so I could do it again. The energy from all of them still buzzed in my body despite the overwhelming exhaustion.

"I told you dear," my ear flicked at his voice, tears streaming down my cheeks and claws digging into his shoulders, "it's in your nature."

------

Striker grabbed Reagan by the throat and held her close to his face. I fought against the white rope trapping my limbs against my body, but it did nothing. My magic was gone from my grip and the rope kept me entirely immobile.

"You thought you could get rid of me that easily?" he taunted, eyes flickering over to me. "I'll haunt your dreams and your every waking hour. Just wait and see." He withdrew a white knife and plunged it into Reagan's heart.

I yelled and bolted upright from my bed. I fell off the side, covers trapping my legs, and tried to stand up. I choked on a sob and untangled myself.

------

"What does that mean?" she asked, voice quivering. He stopped his assault and took a step back to examine her fully.

"It means your family line has stayed pure since before the Great Collapse." When she showed no obvious sign of understanding, he let out a sigh and put his hands back in his coat pockets. "Magic was not a thing before the Great Collapse. Demons were leaked into our world and brought their wretched magic with them. They started having children with Humans and generations later, everyone had Demon's blood in them. You, my dear," he stood beside her and placed a hand on her shoulder, "are a rare, pure gem. You're not infected with their blood."

Reagan's eyes snapped over to mine. All I could think was - oh no.

He reached up to his face to remove his glasses and his horns. They were fake. "I, myself, am a pure Human." My eyes widened, mouth dropping open. He was a Human. He was a defenseless Human. No wonder he had made all those inventions. "And I'm so glad to have found another one to add to our family."

"Family?" she questioned with a tone of disgust.

"I've been all around the world and collected ten pure Humans. We're going to be the foundation of the new world. A world that isn't tainted by Demons." His eyes narrowed on me.

"We're not all bad," I tried, limply pulling against the chains. My energy was taking forever to return. "We've created a safe haven for everyone. A place where both sides can live peacefully together."

"That wont last long." He waved his hand dismissively. "Demons are ruthless killers and Humans can't fathom having anyone above them."

------

Blackwater's laughter reached past it all. "A true Demon thirsty for blood. I expect nothing less from Alastor's soulmate." He turned to look at Reagan. "Did you know about this?" She shook her head in response, eyes never leaving my writhing form.

"Not...not all...just me...just Alastor." I spoke through the spasms and clenched teeth. I don't know how any of them hadn't broken yet from the sheer force. My breathing was getting faster, my whines louder.

"This is the person you're entrusting everything to," he went on, ignoring my response. "Demons can't help but lie. Lie and manipulate. It's why they come from Hell."

------

"Hey hey, it's okay. It'll be okay. Please stay with me." Husker's pleas were faint. I was curled up in a ball in the corner of my room. My wings were wrapped tightly around my body and a shield of thorny vines kept Husker physically away from me. My claws were digging into the back of my neck, blood falling down my shoulders like a waterfall. My cries were loud and ear piercing.

The shadowed souls broke through my barrier and crawled over each other to reach me. They tackled me like ants on a sweet apple, hungry for my soul and the energy it could provide them. And I let them. My soul felt like it was being torn in eighteen different ways but I didn't fight back -- couldn't fight back.

Then they disappeared.

I looked around to see Lucifer sending them back and raising a bright white and gold shield in place of my shattered ones. My purple mind turned red. How dare Lucifer take away a much deserved death.

------

I pulled myself out of the dreams to see the same black souls pushing against my last shield. They were so close. They were crying out for my energy, crying out for passage, crying out of pain. They were stepping and climbing over each other. Some even tried to climb up my shield to claw through it from the top.

Voices. Voices everywhere. Voices I knew.

I will always be the master of the shadows. -- Alastor

You, half bastard, will get what you deserve soon enough. -- Adam

This involves all of us, especially me and Husker, because we're the ones who had to deal with how it affected her. -- Reagan

Tell me, dear, how's it feel to know that all your hard work will be for nothing? No one will challenge your haven now that he's back and defending it. You won't need our deal anymore but you're still bound to it. You might even be forgotten as news picks up on his return. After all, who can trump the Radio Demon? -- Vox

She has no idea where to even begin to understand herself. And you know only one kind of magic. I am the closest thing to whatever she is. And if you'd like to keep your soulmate alive and sane, I will be working with her to keep her mind from breaking. -- Lucifer

A shadow scraped a claw on my arm. I curled up on the floor and covered my head. "Everyone shut up!" I yelled out. Alastor was pushing against my shields, too, but I wasn't letting anyone in. Not Lucifer, not Husker, not the souls, and not him.

More claws caught my back. My shield was shrinking and their arms were breaking through the shield like glass. I couldn't escape the voices. I couldn't escape my past. I couldn't escape myself. Vox had been right. Alastor had been right. Husker had been right. Everyone had been right about anything and everything. Why was I so useless? Why was I so helpless? Why did I always need saving? Wasn't I strong enough? Hadn't I come a long way?

I would never be on Alastor's level, let alone surpass him. I would always fall short. My past would always come back to haunt me. I couldn't escape. Wasn't I enough?

Something shattered.

Something sharp and aggressive burst through my shields.

Something suffocatingly hot surrounded my mind.

Alastor filled my mind. Red and green colored my vision as his magic spread through my body like wild fire. I couldn't push him away--couldn't get him out. He pulsed through me like my own blood.

Then he pulled.

But I resisted.

My claws dug into the ground as he wrapped his red arms around my torso and pulled me into the darkness; pulled me closer back to reality. I screamed and pushed against him. I didn't want to go back.

"Leave me to die!" I yelled. I tried clawing deep cuts in his arms but they bounced off like rubber. I twisted in all different directions, jumped and dropped my weight randomly, and threw my head back in an effort to hit his face.

Sharp anger poked my mind an instant before I was roughly shoved into the mattress. My eyes snapped open to his glowing, towering figure.

I brought my legs up and shoved him away, nearly sending him off the end of the bed. I untangle my legs from the sheets and tackled him, sending him the rest of the way. "How dare you!" My claws enclosed around his neck. And he let me.

I stopped.

My hands were still around his neck, as was his mind around mine, and his eyes stared blankly up at me. Why wasn't he fighting back? Why wasn't he getting angry in return?

I stood up and backed away. He stood up and fixed his coat and bow tie, eyes fixating on me a second after. Orange sun was poking through the curtains. Was it the evening?

His unemotional eyes never left me as he folded his hands behind his back. I could see the faint string connecting our hearts. It wasn't tight. It was hanging loosely between us.

I fell to my knees.

My hands covered my face.

I began to cry.

I curled inward until I was as small as I could make myself. It wasn't until Alastor laid a hand on my back that I noticed he had moved. I fell under a breath holding spell for what felt like forever.

"Breathe my dear." His voice was soft, gentle, and exactly like I remembered it. "Take it slow." He threaded a hand past my shoulder and into the curled mess. The smell of cedar wood and sweat pinched my nose and I sucked in a huge gasp of sweet air.

I made several more as my body tried to regulate its oxygen intake. Alastor spoke more comfort words until my breathing wasn't coming in wheezes anymore.

His hand was warm. So warm. So comforting.

If I let myself bask in his warmth, how much colder would it be when he disappears again?

But the warm circles he was drawing on my back were oh so relaxing. So comforting. I've been waiting eight years for this. Waiting eight years to know why he left. Waiting eight years to be moved on a deeper level once again.

"My dear, I'm here," his radioless voice cut through the silence. "I am here to stay."

Against my better judgment, I unstuck one of my hands and reached his leg that was touching my side. It felt like I was trying to soak up the sun. 

His smooth claws laid carefully, lightly, on top of my hand. It moved up to my forearm and captured my arm in his warm grip. He was real. He was here. I was touching him. He wasn't a ghost--wasn't a hallucination. 

"I am here, love." His hot breath brushed against my ear. His other arm stretched across my back and hooked on my shoulder. He gave a small tug and this time I didn't resist, allowing him to pull me out of my tight little ball. 

He shifted his position so his legs were on either side of me as I leaned against his chest. He was so warm. He began to hum, the vibrations in his chest nearly sending me back to sleep. I wrapped my arms around his narrow torso and wrapped my tail around one of his legs. 

"I hate you." I choked on a sob. "I hate you so much."

"Shh, darling. I know." One arm kept my firmly against him while the other threaded smoothly through my hair. It felt so comforting, so relaxing, and so right. Alastor the Radio Demon was being careful, gentle, and loving towards someone. And I was the lucky someone. 

"I hate you," I mumbled again. But I love you.

He placed a gentle kiss on the top of my head. I love you too, he answered through our minds. The connection was back. We were back. How long would this good time last? 

He brought his hand around to my jaw and used his thumb to push my chin up. He locked eyes with me, his genuine smile stretching on his lips. He used another claw to push a small strand of hair out of my eyes. 

"There's my girl." 

And placed a soft kiss on my lips.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's Note:

Big thanks to @wendigonamecaller for the help/ideas on this chapter.

We got over the big hump. Now is time for the sweet stuff :P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist:

@wendigonamecaller @saccharine-nectarine @thesimpybitch @papas-ghoulette @masochist-downfall

[steakosaur]

As an expanding of previous post about how fucking confusing Luffy is, if only because of the languages he speaks, which are extremely random for a seventeen-year-old pirate from a lost corner of the East Blue :

On the Strawhat crew, you don't ask questions about the others' pasts, that's the most important unsaid rule. You can ask about the crew though, so Robin, between the events of Thriller Bark and Sabaody, decides to get to know the others better, as well as the mechanics of the crew, especially those of the Romance Down trio and East Blue group.

Her investigation begins backwards, from Sanji, to Usopp, to Nami, to Zoro, to Luffy.

From Sanji, she gets the story of how their captain destroyed part of the Baratie, worked there for a single day, encouraged a fight between Hawkeye and Zoro, as he himself fought against one of the big shots in the East Blue, some armoured guy with an enormous fleet who couldn't survive Paradise.

Usopp tells an unusually under-romanced story about this ex-pirate turned butler who was planning on killing his lover Kaya for her money, and how Luffy and Zoro saved them all from the tall butler with poops drawn onto his tailcoat.

Nami tells her about meeting Luffy and Zoro in Orange Town, planning on robbing them dry for a map to the Grand Line, escaping Buggy the Clown, fleeing by herself to go back to Arlong and hopefully buy back her village, Luffy freeing her (she got to wear his hat, Robin notes with attention).

Zoro grunts about a planned execution in a Marine base, something about killing wolves and eating sugared rice balls, and, the most surprising of all, how Luffy, accompanied by the small pink-haired Marine they saw on Water Seven, seemed to know about him beforehand and deliberately wanting to recruit him (he's the only one of them Luffy got out of his way to specifically recruit before even meeting them).

Luffy's story makes less sense. Robin can't get him to tell where exactly he'd been sailing from, and tales of getting sucked into a whirlpool and meeting a big pirate lady are overlapped with descriptions of foods he got to eat and bugs he got to see on his way from wherever his native island is to the Marine base he found Zoro in. With how thick his accent is, she hoped to pin down his island, but the only other time she's heard it was in Vice-Admiral Garp's mouth, and she also doesn't know where he's from further than the East Blue.

Before she can get any more specific, toeing the line of prying, they get to Sabaody and Robin can't ask anymore questions.

What she gets to see and hear on the archipelago doesn't help : with this place being a gathering point for travelers and merchants from all seas, every languages known to her and some she doesn't know are spoken. Her Eastern crewmates struggle a bit, only knowing their native tongue and the most basic version of Grand (even if Zoro's accent hints to him speaking something else entirely, and by having been born in the North Blue Sanji understands one specific Northern dialect, even though he managed to erase all traces of it from his accent), but Luffy gets the strange Grand variation that points to a pirate having lived in the New World, and the vague noble they cross paths with, he can decipher their stuck-up tongue and posh accent, which surprises her a lot.

The New World Grand she can pin down to Luffy having spent, from her understanding, quite a bit of his formative years alongside a New World crew, Shanks' one.

The noble tongue, she can't link to anything. There's nothing that associates Luffy and the nobility, especially with who his father is. She tried asking the others about Ace, who could have given some type of hint, but all the feedback she gets on him is about how polite he was towards them, how affectionate towards Luffy, and how strong towards the Marines.

When Luffy punches the Celestial Dragon at the auction house, she can see that even if the fact that he wanted to buy their friend Camie infuriated him, that punch seemed a bit too personal, only adding to the mystery : why does Luffy speak a noble tongue if the Celestial Dragons are the only people Robin's seen him hate on principle ?

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

"What will you do once I pass away?" The question came out of the blue, but such strange questions were par for the course at this point. Gamigin was nuzzling to your neck when you spoke, but he wasn't phased.

"I'll revive you. Death won't be permenent in Paradise Lost for as long as I'm around to stop it." You were running a hand through his blue hair, playing with a strand of it.

"But what if you don't revive me? If you can't revive me? What will you do then?" The dragon stopped kissing up your neck and shifted so he would be at eye level with you on the bed. He looked confused and hurt which almost made you ashamed that you asked the question.

"My staff can bring anyone back from the dead."

"Ok, but I age and demons don't what about that? What if I get so old I want to die to end my mysery."

Gamigin looked even more confused by your words. He didn't quite understand why humans aged so fast. He pouted in thought and stared at the ceiling. After a while, with a stern voice he asks "How long do humans usually live for?"

You try to remember your anthropology classes and what the avarage age of death was for your country, but you just can't put your finger on it. "I don't know, 70 or something like that." "70! Only 70 years!?!" He pushed you to the bed and pinned you to it with a shocked expression. His mind was working overtime trying to calculate just how long that timespan felt like.

Finally, he turns to you and holds your hands softly kissing them both. He stares determined in your eyes. "You are going to have the most exciting life ever. I promise you. What do you wish to do before you die?"

You've never seen him so stern, but the question was one that you've many times asked yourself yet never seemed to have an answer to. Gamigin's glare was starting to intimidate you so you gently slap his face.

"Don't look at me like that! You're making me nervous! I don't know what I want to do before I die. I just kind of want to see where life takes me."

Gamigin smiles like he usually does and pins you to the bed with a hug. His staff, which he kept in one hand at all times, jiggled lively as you both collapsed on the cottage bed.

"Well then, I want to cuddle with you and rewatch the 'How to Train Your Dragon' trilogy. And then we can play blackjack and whoever wins has to wash the dishes after dinner!" Gamigin proclaimed before kissing your cheek and nuzzling into it.

"Who tought you blackjack?" It was strange hearing your usually innocent boyfriend putting forth the idea of blackjack of all things.

"My brother Buer. He also thought me the dishes strategy as well. Jokes on him, I won." His giggle was contagious and you two ended up just cuddling and watching movies for the better half of the night.

If your relationship with Gamigin thought you anything, it was that you didn't have to live through bombastic experiences to enjoy life. You were having the time of your life just being close to him.

[torgawl]

diluc mentioned in the lore of "wings of concealing snow", nice!!

you know, i wonder if the owls in this story are connected to the underground intelligence network that contacted diluc in snezhenaya. his character story definitely refers to the "observer" as a third-party entity, considering diluc's distaste for the fatui, the abyss order and the knights of favonious we can rule all those options out of the way. the way they don't go into detail about it or even go as far as saying its name, mentioning how secretive they are, i assume they're not a group we've met/are aware as of yet.

going back to "wings of concealing snow" though, the story is very clearly about sal vindagnyr. the description separates the population, if i can call it that, in two different groups: falcons and owls. owls are described almost as if they were councelors while falcons are described as ambitious, with the desire to rule the skies.

from the information we have of sal vindagnyr, we know there's 3 important figures with higher hierarchy: the princess (prophetess and highly connected to the frostbearing tree), the scribe and the priest-king (the princess' 'father').

the princess was able to foresee the future - for example, she foretold what would much later happen with durin - and painted the murals we can still see in dragonspine. she was specifically called a lovely maiden and described as having beauty and skill that was thought to be as eternal and pure as moonlight. it's also relevant to point out the frostbearing tree was very likely an irminsul tree. if we know anything about symbolism in genshin is that moonlight, knowledge and the ability to foresee the future are all key-words that directly point to seelies. and we can parallel this princess directly to someone like sibylla, mentioned in remuria as advisor of god-king remus, who appears as a golden bee and who protected the irminsul where an ancient civilization was located in the abyssal depths. the form of these remuria bees are very akin to what seelies look like and there's also heavy implications she was a seelie. it would make sense that someone overlooking the irminsul tree in ancient dragonspine was also a seelie, or at least related to one somehow.

as for the concept of priest-kings, they're not something exclusive to sal vindagnyr. we've seen the exact same depictions of crowned individuals guiding populations in tsurumi island and the concept was also talked about in the "guilded dreams" artifact set (the set focuses on king deshret and a sumeru desert civilization).

i think it's not that crazy to think ancient civilizations had similar social foundations. the way seelies cohabited with humans, also learned from the chasm lore, implies they guided humanity in some way as divine envoys (words used in "flower of paradise lost", artifact set about nabu malikata). or, more specifically, advised civilizations' gods/kings.

the wings' description also goes on to talk about "birds of the land of the wind" and say the owls gained dominion in the absence of light while fledgeling birds stayed in their nests. this happened after the nail was casted upon sal vindagnyr and the darkness drowned the land (likely the abyss, in reference to forbidden knowledge). if owls and falcons are adult birds in this story, maybe the fledgelings refer to the basis of what would later become the mondstadt civilization. the line "the nestlings would never know who it was who saved them" followed by "the dragon ... would also be forgotten" imply the saviour of the people was someone who ended up being forgotten. as far as i'm aware, there's only one being who was worshipped in mondstadt and ancient civilizations like the one in enkanomiya who ended up forgotten, istaroth. so, there's that!! i also thought it was interesting that the owls that "once shone brightly in the darkness" would also end up with the same fate, although there's no mention they ever disappeared, which brings me to the next point.

"a flash of red flames would reveal his silhouette for but a moment in the darkness of the night, before he disappeared in an instant" sounds a lot like what the owls were like to the people of mondstadt. diluc also only started his darknight hero endeavours after he returned from snezhenaya, after entering the secret organisation and rising quickly in its ranks. and guess who, in the manga, wears an owl mask? an owl is also diluc's constellation and these are diluc and kaeya's respective voicelines in the section "interesting things":

coincidence that kaeya associated the owl with dragonspine? moreso, some of diluc's voicelines are very intent on judgement/punishment: "time for — retribution!" or even "lay waste to the wicked!" which parallels fischl's "no rest for the wicked...". fischl has also said the retribution voiceline in "summertime odyssey". these are interesting parallels because fischl from "the legend of the shattered halberd" and "flowers for princess fischl" has a red eye - auge de der verurteilung or eye of judgment/condemnation - and her mission is to observe and weave the threads of fate. fischl not only parallels kaeya but also king irmin, though it's still interesting this theme is also connected to diluc. but how does this connect to dragonspine? this is the ending line in the description of "wings of concealing snow".

whatever that "greater trial" is, it also implies some sort of payback towards celestia and/or the abyss. as for who are the "we", if not the seelies who got basically wiped out from teyvat, i can only think of the owls.

at last, i want to leave here the messages found in the scribe's box found in dragonspine that clearly belonged to the scribe in sal vindagnyr:

the first message shows resentment towards the skies (it almost sounds like tsaritsa's desire to burn the old world described in the cryo gemstone). the second message refers dust and wind which are very suspicious words considering they can be connected to concepts like alchemy, khaenri'ah and either the anemo god or the god of time. it also shows intent in finding imunlaukr (the hero from another land that left sal vindagnyr to fight what i assume was the abyss during the conflict). the fourth message directly states this person was the last to survive and that it made no more sense to keep watch (of what? the fledglings like the owls?), probably meaning this person left dragonspine. and, in the last message it directly references khaenri'ah's establishment and early days. could this person have fled to somewhere outside of teyvat, away from the gods, like khaenri'ah? this really isn't that surprising when we have in account sal vindagnyr and khaenri'ah share the same written latin-based language.

i actually went a bit more in depth about sal vindagnyr and imunlaukr on this twitter thread, if anyone cares, but i'm going to include here part of it. the name imunlaukr means "sword", being a direct reference to the god ullr - step-son of thor and the son of lady sif. sif was famous for her beauty and unique golden hair, said to be inherited by her children. genshin's imunlaukr went on to pass his name on to a clan in mondstadt that was known for raising brave and gifted warriors that fought hard and died young. the clan adopted their progenitor's viewpoint that combat was merely for the entertainment of the gods and as such would fight anyone and anything for the sake of fighting, as well as enact war tales. do you know who else is a sword, happens to be blonde and has connections to khaenri'ah? dainsleif, which translates to dáinn's heirloom. dáinn (or dain) means 'dead' and he's a character in norse mythology. most of the tales relating to him depict him as a dwarf or king of elves. hehe, break time to introduce fun facts about nibelung. the term in legend has usually referred to either a group of humans or a group of dwarves but the name in genshin is likely derived from richard wagner's four-part opera der ring des nibelungen "the ring of the nibelung", in which the dwarf (or nibelung) alberich creates a ring capable of controlling the world, using gold he stole from the rhinemaidens (or rheintöchter "rhine-daughters"). the conflict that arises over the ownership of this ring eventually leads to the destruction of the gods and their home. continuing with dainsleif, in myhtology, the sword is involved in a so-called eternal battle between kings, initiated by one man falling in love with and running off with another's daughter. dainsleif was forged by the dwarves whose god/king was alberich, and the sword was cursed with insatiable bloodlust and would not be able to be sheathed until it had killed and any wound caused by the sword would never be able to heal. maybe the connection between imunlaukr and dainsleif is a stretch - timewise, it wouldn't really make sense as dain seems to be exclusively from the eclipse dynasty but khaenri'ah was somewhat recent in the scribe's notes - but i really don't think the connection between khaenri'ah and sal vindagnyr is.

furthermore, dainsleif is called "bough keeper", a bough being a branch of a tree - like the irminsul. if you notice his design, one of his arms has blue lines akin to those in irminsul trees. blue lines also appear in his and pierro's mask. the introduction to his character is written by a self-proclaimed prophet and mentions the desire to see the skies burning - like the message in the scribe's box - as well as desire for atonement of bygone mistakes and mentions of alchemy (gold being the end goal as it's related to reaching the magnum opus and the philosopher's stone - elixir of life and immortality). the symbol the angel figure in dragonspine's mural is handing to the humans resembles a circumpoint, that can represent gold. it's also something that appears associated with rhinedottir in one of the videos about the hexenzirkel (which makes sense as she's such a proeminent figure related to the art of khemia and khaenri'ah, very much associated with the cataclysm).

not sure what the conclusion of all of this is but i don't think it's impossible this underground intelligence network and the owls might be something connected, directly or indirectly, to the person from sal vindagnyr that might have fled dragonspine all those years ago or even khaenri'ah. could diluc and kaeya work more closely together than we think? considering the third-party observer that rescued diluc is said to be from the north when that supposedly happened in snezhenaya, does this mean this north they speak of is beyond the land of the tsaritsa?

note: i wanted to make some type of connection to the book "anecdota septentrionalis" or anecdotes of the north, as the book not only talks about snezhenaya but also tells a very fantastical and non-sensical story that includes other nations but i understood very much zero about it other than the fact that north from where the major plot takes place there's a tall wall in the middle of the sea stretching into the sky with countless densely packed human figures suspended "and though they had neither bodies nor muscles, their forms could clearly be seen". whatever that means, so i can't really make any inference to what it beyond snezhenaya.

note 2: forgot to mention but owls besides being birds associated with wisdom, in sumerian, akkadian, and babylonian culture, are also associated with lilith. she was theorized to be the first wife of adam and is cited as having been "banished" from the garden of eden. it's just a fun fact if we think of seelies, divine envoys who are symbols of wisdom and guidance, that got punished by the heavens after their ancestor married a traveler from afar.