Eleventh Classroom...
It’s been a year…
Still AroAce…
Still a teacher…
Still barely sane…
I went from being a ‘traveling ESL teacher’ to a paraprofessional at a Montessori school. I am not impressed. Oh sure, Montessori is a wonderful learning philosophy but it is not for everyone. It is certainly not for a teacher with ADHD that struggles with hyperfocus. The individualized lessons given are often at the cost of classroom management or vice versa.
The parents who send their kids to a Montessori school do so in lieu of seeking out professional help for their unique or troubled child. I have TWELVE out of twenty-six students who are either obviously ADHD or obviously Autistic to some degree. Two have IEPs and the rest are ‘busy kids’ in their parents’ eyes.
This is a challenge that I have no problem with. I LOVE my students.
BUT I am not thrilled with their parents…
‘I want to focus on this pregnancy’…Yeah, but while you’re doing that you could LAY in bed and work with your son on his letter sounds.
‘My parents are in a motel getting their act together’…AKA, drug addicts.
‘My mom says that this rule is dumb’…Sorry, it’s a SCHOOL rule. No sweets.
The only thing worse than the parents is how this school is run…
The double standards and obvious favoritism is what REALLY pisses me off.
I do my job, I get yelled at by THREE different people.
Someone else DOESN’T do their job and they get praised…wonderful.
Oh yeah, and we have FOUR Montessori teachers out of FORTY.
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that poll reminding me. not so secret feli lore i'm sure i've talked about this before. but one time in school a guy confessed his love to me as a joke (i knew it was a joke because he was part of a clique that Could Not Stand my autism swag) and he did it in front of my friends, with his friends watching from a distance, and the scenario was so absurd i started laughing at him.
Like full on fucking ojou-sama hand to my face laugh. For several minutes. It was the funniest shit to ever happen to me I just did not know how to react.
Obviously this embarrassed him and he went back to his friends. Idk how they reacted to this but over the next few weeks he would try to confess several more times. I would still laugh at him but then it got annoying. So I'd just start kicking him. Every single time he got near me and opened his mouth I would kick him in the shins. Guy was a football player but I still did it. If it came to a fight he could've kicked my ass easy i am a twig but my sheer ferocious moxie scared him.
One math teacher fucking hated this guy for being the "class clown" (read: calling everything gay and autistic as the height of comedy) so she sat us next to each other on purpose and actually gave me permission to kick him if he was being annoying.
This all came to a head on the day my best friend whom I'd had a secret crush on got rejected by HER crush, and she was crying. So to stop people from badgering her I made a distraction. I challenged my nemesis to a duel in the hallway in front of the chemistry rooms. The entire class could hear. Everybody focused on me over my crush trying to wipe her eyes around the corner.
I kept calling him a coward as he ran away from me (presumably out of fear, or because he knew that if he did fight me, he would win, but i would 100% kick him in the balls first). When the chemistry teacher arrived she made us apologize to each other and I no longer had permission to kick him publicly but the damage was done. I had a Reputation. I was Feared. I was the quiet nerd teacher's pet until anybody fucking looked at me wrong.
At the end of that school year, that entire clique decided to graduate early (which you can do, since minimum school attendance is 10yrs, and we were in 10th grade). So many students left and/or changed schools that the principal personally asked the rest of us if everything was okay. This was probably because they all had shit grades and wanted to go to an easier school, but I hated them and choose to believe my warfare efforts were also a cause for this.
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Double standards: prt1
The world: "FREE PALESTINE!!! GLOBALIZE THE INTIFADA!!! DECOLONIZATION BY ALL MEANS NECESSARY!!! KILL THEM ALL!! FUCK ISRAEL!! what? Where will 9 million ppl go? idk and idc kick them all out!! they should all DIE! Women, children, elderly, ALL of them are CRIMINALS who kicked ppl out and drink palestinian blood for NO REASON these COLONIZERS!! NINE MILLION AND NO ONE THERE IS INNOCENT "
Jews/israelis: "actually jews ARE indigenous thus cannot be colonizers and our homeland was colonized BY arabs and muslims and they all kicked US out, israel is the only country in the world to be actively decolonized and hated for that while asking for peace numerous times from the neighboring countries AND the palestinians just so for them to start wars. Also israel also have a lot of non je-"
The world: "OK but you don't have to kill innocent palestinians! They are all 100% innocent and always were! ppl were already living there when the juice came back so they shouldn't kick them out of their houses🙄 can't you do it peacefully?"
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“A man cries and it is seen as a release,
A build up of anguish he’s finally let run rampant
An accomplishment to scream and melt,
For how could such a distinguished figure let himself work up such a state of despair?
He must have needed this, he must be passionate about this, He couldn’t even take the time to compose himself
He must be heartfelt about this,
It must really mean something deeply to him
A woman cries and it is seen as hysterics,
A dramatic outburst considering of irrational thought
A turning point in conversation,
Where she is no longer taken seriously
She’s letting her emotions get the best of her, for how could such a posed figure let herself get to such a state of wrath?
What day of the month is it?
She must not care about this, she would’ve taken the time to compose herself
She must be wishy washy about this, it must really mean something superficial to her
Why has there been made such a sterile divide in such human reaction?”
- Sarah mann
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While I said in a previous post, I'd talk about my trip to Israel, I feel it's necessary to dive into issues when it comes to aspects of the Pro-Palestinian movement. So consider this as me swapping around parts 2 and 3.
While a majority of people in the movement are in it with the best of intentions, it shouldn't be ignored that there are those within it that are there for less then pure reasons. For starters, while not as prevalent as in the Pro-Israel, there have been neo-Nazis who have decided that their islamophobia and Arab-based xenophobia is secondary to their hatred of Jewish people.
I re-posted a video before talking about the subject so I will re-blog it after this is posted. In summary, it's how genuine anger towards the Likud led government of Israel is co-opted in certain circles to sneak in classic antisemitic talking points, such as Jewish people controlling the media, that the Jewish Diaspora and Israel are to be conflated with one another, by both antisemites, and extreme Zionists.
this goes into my next point, that there are those who proclaim support for Palestine, yet downplay the religious, ethnic and historical connections Jewish people have to the region in order to justify their own viewpoints, that extend to a denial of any nation-state representation. While I'm more for unity unless under certain circumstances, unfortunately, we live in a post-Balfour world, so we deal with the cards dealt. However, I digress.
Back to the matter of weaponized Pro-Palestinian elements. A trend I notice with far too much frequency in posts proclaiming Pro-Palestine is "Death to Israel" or referring to Israel as "IsNotReal" or "Israhell". This isn't even with any effort on my part, but seems to be baked into elements of the Pro-Palestine fringe. This is troubling given the above mentioned conflation of Jews and Israel. It seems downright hypocritical for people like this profess a desire to recognize Palestinian statehood, which it rightfully deserves and is now receiving, while denying Israel's own existence. While Likad propaganda isn't exactly in short supply on social media ,see the litany of porn bots on Tumblr and Twitter, there has also been enough disinformation from people who support Palestine that it should raise eyebrows. For example, footage of people in Ben Gurion Airport which was used to proclaim that people were fleeing back to places like the United States and that they were settlers, when in reality it was people returning home from Passover celebrations.
However, it's not only those on the far-right that are spreading falsehoods. There are those in left-wing circles that ascribe to a "West = bad" mentality. While this isn't entirely wrong, as Western governments, including and especially the United States, have used their power for their own selfish interests, the views of Tankies are so black and white, that it borders on pure brain rot. This especially is apparent in their contrasting feelings when it comes to places like China and Russia compared to Israel. Each is currently enacting genocide, with China's CCP against the Uyghur people, Russia's Putin against the Russian queer population and the people of Ukraine, and of course Israel's Likud government on the Palestinians. However, while Tankies are quick to decry Israeli crimes, they remain slavishly loyal and excusatory about the crimes of Russia and China because they aren't "western powers" (looking at you, Hasanabi. Check out Lonerbox's videos on him and his Russian dick riding), which basically results in cutting your nose to spite your face, or in this case supporting one group of authoritarians to spite another group of authoritarians. Thus it extends to apologia towards Hamas and the actions of Palestinian groups both past and present, that used outright terrorism to get what they wanted. If these same people support Palestinian independence while preciously saying that Ukraine should kowtow to Russia's own territorial invasions, turn and run for the hills.
Which brings me to Hamas and previous Palestinian leaderships. Oh God, where do I even start. Firstly, I should clarify that I believe that armed resistance isn't an inherently bad thing. There are times where it's the only solution remaining. However, what you do with it can still be judged, and in this case, Palestinian "liberation" groups have shown a far too common trend of targeting civilian populations such as what happened on Oct.7th. It would be one thing if it was on military or government spaces, yet these actions on civilians screams of utter cowardice on the parts of Hamas. While both the IDF and Hamas have done these things, I've only noticed the IDF being called out, and although their blatant disregard for life should be decried, it's troubling how identical behavior by Hamas and other Palestinian leadership has been swept under the rug for the sake of "support". Hamas has its origins in the Muslim Brotherhood which is a very ultra-orthodox sect of Islam that has multiple bigoted aspects to it which include antisemitism, which Hamas inherited from its parent movement after separating, that wasn't "officially" removed until 2017 (I have their manifesto linked above twice just to be sure of any inconstancies given these are translations.). As for previous incidents, the Munich terrorist attack of 1972, where a combined group of the Palestinian extremist group Black September alongside West German Neo-Nazis killed eleven Israeli Olympics athletes and coaches. While it has been weaponized for darker purposes, it should be noted that while the Palestinian factions had every right to be upset by the destruction of their communities which was what led to this event, their way of dealing with it was horrifically misplaced.
For those who say that Hamas doesn't represent all Palestinians, then you are correct. They don't. They were elected in 2006 before a large portion of Palestine's current population were even born, and yet here they must suffer because the leaders they never elected, chose to break a ceasefire and murder 1,200 people and kidnap 240 more, that opened the gates of Hell upon them from an equally genocidal government with a trigger happy military, and a civilian population primed by 2,000 years of exile and (understandable) generational trauma at the hands of multiple countries and empires, mixed with propaganda and exposure to only the worst of Palestinian society in the form of terrorism to explode in anger with zero consideration for the innocent. That being said, there are Israelis and Jews who support Palestinian struggles that also point out that the Likud don't represent them either, yet those of bad faith are willing to blind themselves to this fact.
This went on longer then I meant it to, if I'm being honest. I wish this was more put together, but this was something I feel I needed to talk about. Still, for those wishing to learn more, I've linked to other sources that are more articulate. For now, I leave it here. Next time, I will get to my critiques of Israel outside of its "relationship" with Palestine.
I just want this to end. I want things to heal. All we can do is take action however we can, and cling onto hope for those who are gone, and those who continue on.
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