#doodles from work i put on digital

[birdbutbetter]

clunk moment

[static-scribblez]

local litwtc fanartist finally draws chris and will in his actual artstyle ⁉️⁉️🤯🤯

huge fan of how these two seem to have default poses for fan photos jdjdjfjfj

[poorly-drawn-ace-attorney]

today: klavier if his favorite color was pink

[sysig]

Some scribbles :) (Patreon)

[crowned-ladybug]

Me: man i am itching to draw more of my OCs properly

Also me, just now: so what if roleswap AU for absolutely no goddamn reason

[keeps-ache]

you're making me anxious!!

[be-good-to-bugs]

hehehe

[faceeeeee]

Okay I'm back with the sketch dump. No more rambling bout the different dubs.

The first doodle dump is actually a tiny theory that I've got. I wonder if pomni actually worked at the supposed "C&A" company that I presume created the digital circus in the first place. I imagine that pomni was one of the employees who worked on that project (maybe as a head programmer?) and because she's depressed and done with life yada yada she volunteers to be a beta tester for the digital circus. Her memories are then removed and she forgets almost everything but the moment she put the headset on. Maybe that's why she started to go absolutely nuts when she saw the computer w/the headset, cuz that was her old cubicle. She loathed the routine of waking up, going to work, staying in that office for 8 hours and going back home and wanted an escape from all of that stuff. Maybe this makes sense, maybe I'm delusional but hey, have some Kinger wife content and some non-funny doodles of the cast (except for Zooble cuz I can't draw them right. I'm still trying)

[theelvishfiddler]

AN ARTIST'S GUIDE TO HANDS

No, sorry it's actually not an artist's guide to drawing hands. Those are just warmup studies (which I'll talk about in this post.)

This is a guide to Your Hands and how to take care of them when making art.

No one ever sits down and teaches artists how to take care of their hands. They didn’t even teach me this while I was in art college. This is just what I've learned myself through years of pain and scouring the internet for advice.

This is going to be a long one and geared towards illustrative traditional/digital/pen/pencil artists specifically, but artists of other mediums and crafts should take care of their hands too! Well, we all should take care of our bodies in general, but this is about hands.

(advice is below the read more)

First off I'm not a professional or anyone with actual medical advice. I'm just some guy with chronic hand pain who makes art. This advice is free for you to use or discard.

WARMUPS!

Ever sit down in the morning to draw and wonder why your art is so stiff and looks so much worse than what you were drawing last night? It's because you didn't warm up!

You know how for physical sports they all warmup and do stretches before getting into the actual sport. To prevent injuries and all that? Yeah, it's good to do that for art too.

One way to warmup is to just draw lines. Try to keep them as straight as you can. Going up and down and diagonal. Draw squares. Big squares. Small squares. Circles! You are warming up, keep it loose and relaxed! Basically just scribble away.

(examples. I usually keep going until there is no paper white left. This can double as practice for drawing straight lines without a ruler, which is a great skill to have when freehand city drawing.)

Before hopping right into drawing people you can try doing some quick gesture drawings. Line of Action has timed sessions with a large variety of clothed or nude models. I usually do the 30 min class as it has a nice balance of short and long timed poses. The point isn't to draw nice art, but to warm up. Try to get the basic form down, not the details. I find that doing a full class session can really help my drawings feel more loose and grounded in reality for the rest of the day.

Some examples I found in my folders. I suggest looking into what a line of action (not the site) is and giving it a try with some of the studies!

COOLDOWNS!

For sports it's to return your body back to your everyday baseline after a workout.

Example; you are working on a big project! A masterpiece! It's detailed and cool! You have been focusing on this for hours and drawing so intensely. But you need to stop working for the day.

A cooldown is for winding down out of the go go go mindset. Put away the big project and do a couple small doodles and sketches. You are relaxing your hand and letting it stretch out. Keep the sketches loose. Let the art happen slowly. Don't polish anything, that can happen another day. Just ease yourself out of drawing.

...

Cool! Now we get into the meat of this thing.

HAND PAIN

How to avoid it and how to manage it if you already have it.

I love you artists and creatives, I am begging you to please take care of your most important creative tools. I really don't want this to sound like scare tactics like "oooh you better do this or blah blah!" Nope. I just had to learn all this the hard way and I'm extremely passionate about it.

Take this advice or don’t ╮(ﾟ～ﾟ;)╭ I can't tell you what to do, I'm not your dad

Adjustments and Small Solutions

If you are feeling physical discomfort while drawing there are many different solutions to try! Here are some suggestions that may or may not work for you.

Hold your pencil more loosely. Stop gripping that thang so tightly!!! Relax that hand! They make these… squishy pen grip things... I think they are called Adaptive Pencil Grips or Adaptive Writing/Drawing Aids? They stop your hand from being all cramped up by making your drawing tool wider. It's going to take a bit of time to adjust to drawing with it, but it's worth it for those who hold pencils too tightly.

Don't press as heavily. For traditional art, if you find yourself pressing really hard to get darker lines try moving to a softer pencil. Most standard pencils are HB, the B pencils have softer graphite. Experiment until you find the right one for you. For Digital, adjust your pressure settings so you don't have to press as hard to get thicker lines. You should not be pressing so hard all the time, it wears out both your hand and your tablet! It takes a bit of time to adapt to pencil or pressure changes. Try doing some unimportant sketches, they don't have to be good. You are just training your hand and mind to adjust using less pressure.

Draw with your arm and not your wrist! It's small repetitive motions that cause the most strain. You probably hear this one a lot, what does it even mean? It means moving your arm with the motions of your line, and trying not to make too many tiny movements with your just your fingers or wrist. This one is hard! It takes time and conscious thought to change the habit. Tips? Work bigger. Zoom in more. Use bigger sheets of paper.

(Motions exaggerated for a clearer example)

Change the angle of your drawing surface. They make angled tablet holders, angled desks, angled desktop raisers. Experiment, find and angle that is comfortable and the one that causes the least pain. (It's also good to make sure you don't have to hold your head at an uncomfortable angle when drawing. Staring straight down or hunching over a paper flat on the table can cause pain!)

Compression Glove? Wrist brace/tensioners? Some folks use them and I've been thinking of getting one for years now. I can't give advice on this one, because I don't have experience with it. Look into it if you want!

Managing Pain

First things first.

IF YOUR HANDS START TO HURT WHILE YOU ARE DRAWING. STOP! Put the pencil/pen/paintbrush/whatever down. The art will still be there for you to continue tomorrow.

I know from experience that it's extremely hard to pull away when you are hyper focused on an art piece. It's hard to remember all sorts of basic needs like food or bathroom when hyper focused. But you Need to stop when you feel that pain. (Preferably even before the pain…)

Take Breaks! Let your hands rest when you can. Just like a machine, if you don't schedule maintenance, the machine will schedule maintenance for you. Often that means having to wait a few days for it to return to functional. Best to take a day off from heavy usage or take an occasional 30 min break throughout the day to let your hands rest.

Stretching is important! Full body stretches are good; your arms, shoulders, neck, and spine are all connected, but I'm specifically talking about HAND and wrist stretching. There are a lot of stretches and massages for carpal tunnel and arthritis out there. I find they work for hand pain in general. Move into and out of each stretch slowly. Do not push a stretch if it hurts!! Be gentle!!

I am not a qualified professional and I will not be giving out specific stretches (that is beyond my personal comfort level). There are other artists out there who have made helpful stretching info-graphics which are cool, but I will not be because i don't want to be responsible for someone accidentally hurting themself. Ask your doctor for stretches & advice or look some up on your own.

Don't feel bad about forgetting to stretch frequently! Of course it is good to do it regularly and frequently, but I would be a hypocrite if I said that I remember to stretch daily. Setting timers for stop and stretch sessions can work for some people, but also doing stretches whenever you remember is fine! If you are sitting on the toilet you can idly do some hand stretches. On the bus? Laying in bed? At the beach? Do a couple stretches! Even just once a week is better than… nonce a week.

Using Cold or Heat to treat pain. If you really overdid it, put your hands in some cold water or wrap a cloth around an ice pack and apply it to your hand. Cold works best for me, but warmth works for others. This is just pain reduction and reducing inflammation from overuse! This is not a permanent solution.

If your hand hurts a lot! Frequently! Talk to your doctor? Idk mine has never given real advice. Just gently poked my hand and told me there isn't much to be done about it :/ but there are really good doctors out there who will care and give helpful advice!

Again. IF IT HURTS TO CONTINUE DRAWING. STOP DRAWING! This is not a "no pain no gain" type situation. Drawing so much that you hurt yourself isn't noble, it's just… limiting yourself. You only get one set of hands. These things are very handy to have.

Other Advice

Things I couldn't figure out how to fit into the earlier sections.

Your other hand can't handle the strain! Lets say you hurt your drawing hand... the other hand is right there free to use for art. Right? Wrong. Your other hand can't keep up with the demand, it hasn't been trained to the same extent as your dominant hand, it does not have the built up muscle. If you want to use that hand for drawing you are going to have to use it s l o w l y and train it bit by bit over a long period of time. When I tore a tendon in my right hand I decided to just keep drawing with my left and I got Really Good at it. It only took like two months before my left hand hurt too much to move. Then I had 0 functioning hands to pull up my pants. Not fun!!

People who draw on phones. That is extremely impressive! I'm amazed by the things people can create on such a small space. But phone artists are the ones I see most frequently mentioning hand pain. please please please make sure you are taking breaks. Would a stylus work instead of using a finger?

Outside of Drawing. Sometimes it's things outside of drawing that are causing the pain. For me there are multiple sources, but I also have tiny baby hands. Holding a phone too long causes pain. The handheld mode for my Switch causes A Lot of pain. The way my hand rests while typing on my laptop hurts! Playing tense videogames for too long hurts! Find the source of your pain and make some changes. The same things will apply to most; take regular breaks, do some stretches, and find soft things to prop up or rest your arms on.

Change your Artstyle. This one is more of a last resort. You might have to change your art style if you are getting sharp pains every time you draw. I loved drawing tight clean lines and many small fancy details, but drawing like that left me in so much pain at the end of the day. In 2023 I had to take the better part of year off from illustrations just to learn how to sketch and draw more loosely. I had to learn how to be gentle. To stop gripping my pencil so tightly. Learn! Adapt! You might discover a new style that you love even more!

A lot of this stuff gets more complicated in a work setting where you have to draw fast and long in order to get paid. Things like reducing your workload can help, but that can be... financially rough. But outside of that, it’s ok to be a slow artist. Going full steam and hurting yourself is not worth it.

Aaaaaanyway, thats all folks. Today's rant brought to you by me! The guy with chronic hand pain who always forgets to stretch! The guy who got frustrated with a sketch yesterday and decided to push to keep drawing for just one more hour! The guy who woke up this morning and had to spend 2 hours massaging and stretching their hands. The guy who probably shouldn't have typed all of this out because ooww ow ouch

If your hands do hurt, it's going to be ok! You don't need to be a speed demon who draws all the time. It's ok to take your time and take frequent breaks. You are going to do great things! Just be gentle with yourself...

[emelinstriker]

Soundwave & Shockwave ♡ Be More Expressive

Second X Reader one-shot to be dropped. And guess who's just been told that her wisdom teeth need to be extracted. Fuck. :D

[TL;DR] You have stickers and art supplies. And two lovely victims.

♡ ~ Fluff ~ ♡

"There is nothing logical about what you are doing."

"Shush'up, Shocky- I'll have you know I'm great at drawing!" You sassily stated as you continued working on a little doodle on his shoulder pad. You drew it right in your science lover's field of view so he would also remember you were there. However, your body was in front of the drawing to make it a bit of a surprise. So for the last few minutes Shockwave was only able to stare at your butt. Not bad of a sight in his point of view (literally), but he was still curious.

"That's not what I was referring to."

"I know, I know... But then you'll have something that reminds you of our relationship! No worries, it's easy to wash off if you don't like the drawing in the end." The cyclops ex-vented, deeming your response as logical enough to please him.

"And... tadaaa! What do you think?" You moved aside so Shockwave could have a proper look at what you did to his shoulder pad.

You drew an adorable little piece of his and Soundwave's helms, as well as your head surrounded by a heart. Shockwave actually felt a little flattered by your artwork, and yet he decided to play off what he actually felt.

"It looks logical", he commented. You pouted at his response. Again, he found your human way of expressing yourself interesting.

"Be more expressive, damn'it!" Suddenly your gaze locked onto your little bag filled with your art supplies... including stickers and sticky notes. You had a grin on your face as you pulled out a package of stickers and took out a few. Once you had a few sticking to your hand, you turned to give your Conjunx a bright smile before leaning down and lightly slapping random colorful stickers all over his chassis. If Shockwave had a faceplate instead of one optic, he probably would've given you a confused pokerface mixed with internal screaming. But here he was, simply observing your actions out of curiosity.

"What are you doing?"

"Sticking sticky stickers, duh. Here," you started as you grabbed a sticky note and wrote something on it before aggressively sticking the note just above his optic. "You deserve a DUM sticker for that question, mister!" You pouted at him before slapping his frame with more stickers. You finally decided to stop when you emptied one whole sticker package, finishing by putting a little unicorn sticker on your own cheek for a little partner look. Leaning back to have a better overview of your newest masterpiece, you hummed in satisfaction. The scientist was covered in stickers that looked definitely odd on him, accompanied by a DUM sticker over his optic. Good thing the note was so much smaller than his optic because otherwise giving him a little kiss on it would've made it a bit harder. "I love you."

After giving him the little kiss as appreciation for his tolerance, a certain Intelligence Officer came into the lab, much to Shockwave's relief and your happiness. You frantically waved one arm around up high, leaning back against Shockwave's helm. "Hiya, Sounders!"

As he walked over to the two of you, his visor held the image of a smile until he was standing in front of you and the bigger mech. The ex-gladiator raised his servo up next to you and gently rubbed your cheek with a digit. A pixel heart appeared on his visor as he did so. You giggled at his affection, leaning into his digit's touch. "Aw, I love you too."

You glanced at Shockwave's sticker-covered frame and smirked mischivously, turning back to face your other Conjunx' visor. The heart instantly faded and got replace with a raised eyebrow emoticon. He didn't like that look on your face and decided to leave while he still could. So, he slowly pulled his digit away from you and took one step backwards.

"Hey Shocky," you started as you pulled out another package of stickers. "Wanna see me make Sounders suffer as well?" His ear fins perked up in delight. He was definitely amused by your suggestion.

"Equality only seems logical, sweetspark."

Shockwave approached the shorter mech, already armed with you in his servo. You were smirking, menacingly. The scientist held you out towards the TIC's chassis. And before said mech could escape by moving further back, there was already a unicorn sticker slapped onto him. Surprised by your swiftness, he looked down at his chassis. You caught him off-guard once more when he saw you had already drawn a little red heart on Laserbeak's left wing.

That's when he heard rather evil giggling coming from his right.

Oh scrap. You were now on his shoulder pad, doodling away with a line of stickers already trailing up from his chassis to the side of his helm.

You and Shockwave weren't exactly the sneakiest duo, so this greatly surprised him. Then again, he must've been in some form of trance in that moment. However, there wasn't much he could do to stop you now that you already marked him with your stickers and drawings. Well, more like he didn't have the spark to stop you. You have managed to basically capture him and he was being a good sport about it.

The scientist had already resumed working on the project you had interrupted earlier, calm relief visible in his posture. His sticker-covered frame turned to you one last time. "They are your artistic problem now, Soundwave. Do not bring them back until all their stickers and art supplies are gone from their possession." His right ear fin flicked upwards by a little, as if he was smirking at your other lover.

You laughed at his words while the masked mech showed a smiley on his visor as he nodded. Then he decided to walk out of the room with you still present on his shoulder, having your fun with your supplies.

Bonus:

Shockwave approached Megatron's location, ready to report his progress, when the warlord suddenly let out a chuckle. He couldn't even look the cyclops properly in the optic. The DUM sticker was too much of a funny distraction.

"I see. Soundwave wasn't the only victim affected by this... sticky situation."

His ear fins drooped at his master's discovery, unamused by the joke. That's when he looked behind the grey mech and noticed Soundwave completely covered in stickers and lovely drawings. He had more stickers on him than Shockwave, and yet still held a pixel heart on his visor as he used one digit to pat their shared organic Conjunx, who was still on his shoulder pad, on the head.

[ Masterlist ]

[teapartyprincess4two]

heyy <3 I am absolutely in LOVE with your writing. I was wondering if you had ever written a 5+1 fic? I noticed that you like to write really lengthy fics with slow build ups which would be perfect for 5+1 style fics!!

I have a request if you would accept it ^^

5 times y/n denies having a crush on Matt (she's just oblivious to her feelings) and 1 time she didn't (when she finally realises)

or it could be the other way round and you could write in Matt's pov. whichever one is easier for you! (or u don't have to do this at all and just write a completely different 5+1 fic based on your own idea. I'm sure it will turn out perfect!)

In Denial- M. Sturniolo

pairing: PopularStudent!reader x Student!Matt

classification: angst, fluff

warnings: slight angst, rejection, jealousy, use of y/n, slight cursing, childhood memories/flashbacks/setting, VERY VERY VERY slow build up, characters are in high school for a majority of the story

inspiration: request^^

summary: It’s hard to admit when you’re in love, especially when the person you love is so different from you. But, as they say, opposites attract.

—

“Are you guys inviting any friends from school?” The triplet’s mom, Marylou, asks as she mindlessly prepares the vegetables for her soup. Nick, Matt, and Chris were buzzing with excitement as they sat around the kitchen table with crafting supplies sprawled everywhere. The three of them were working towards creating invitations for their 10th birthday party. Ten was a big number because they’d finally be in the double digits so they had to make sure everything was just right. Most of the invitations were illegible and their mom would definitely have to redo them, but as long as it kept them occupied while she cooked she was happy.

“I’m going to invite Jackie,” Nick responds as he digs through his pen pouch for the perfect shade of purple. Most of Nick’s invitations had so many random doodles on them that you could barely see any of the words. “Oh Jackie’s nice,” Marylou murmurs, only half listening as she continues stirring away at the soup on the stove. She had to make sure it wouldn’t boil over.

“I like Carlos better so I’m inviting him,” Chris chimed in, his tongue poking out in concentration as he decorated his invitations with random scraps of craft paper. Chris’s invitations were covered in so much glue that every time he picked something up it stuck completely to his hand. “That’s so mean, Chris!” Nick responds in a whiny voice which puts a smirk on Chris’s face. Chris actually liked Jackie too because she was a good friend and sometimes she did his homework for him, but he also liked annoying his brother. The two were about to break out into an argument, but were swiftly checked by a stern look from their mother.

Matt was too immersed in creating the perfect invitation for you to care about the conversation surrounding him. He worked diligently to ensure that it was legible and nicely decorated, ensuring to include doodles of things he knew you liked. Once the other two calmed down, Marylou turned towards Matt and asked, “Who are you inviting, honey?” Truth be told, Matt was inviting a lot of people from his class, but he really only cared if you showed up. If it was only you and him at this birthday party he’d be the happiest ten year old on Earth.

“Probably just Jason,” Matt replies nonchalantly with a shrug of his shoulders. This answer seems to satisfy his mom because she doesn’t ask any further questions and immediately returns to the pot on the stove. Nick and Chris, on the other hand, hear this and immediately jump at the opportunity to expose his crush for you to their mom. “He’s probably inviting y/n,” Chris snickers as he pokes Matt’s sides teasingly, his sticky fingers gripping Matt’s t-shirt in the process.

“No I’m not, Chris. Shut up,” Matt replies as he pushes his brother’s hands away from him aggressively. This was his favorite shirt and Chris was getting his gross glue hands all over it. Nick laughs at this, making kissy faces towards Matt to annoy him. “Matt and y/n sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” Chris and Nick sing loudly, both of them working hard towards pushing Matt past his breaking point. At this point Matt’s face is burning hot and red from embarrassment.

You were a new student in their class who moved to Boston from out of state. For whatever reason you were placed in their class and seated right next to Matt, the only available seat left in the entire classroom. From that moment on Matt’s been absolutely obsessed with you, but he didn’t need his mom to know that.

“Who’s y/n?” Marylou asks, true curiosity in her voice. She was now facing the three boys, providing them with her full attention and turning the stove off for safe measure. “Oh just Matt’s GIRLFRIEND!” Chris screams, once again poking at Matt’s sides. “I love y/n soooo much. She smells soooo good and has the prettiest smile,” Nick quotes as he gazes dramatically into the distance and pretends to swoon. Their mom is amused with their antics, but is mostly curious to learn more about the girl who has her most timid son so ‘in love.’

“I never said that, you idiot!” Matt retaliates, pushing Chris off of him and standing up abruptly from the kitchen table to make his way towards Nick and push him too. The table shook in the process causing some of the markers to roll onto the floor. Matt was beginning to get genuinely upset from the pure embarrassment that he felt. “Then why do you guys always play alone at recess!” Chris rebuttals, feeling as if he had just won the greatest argument of his life.

“Just admit you like her, Matty!” Nick chimes in, throwing his nickname in there to further push his buttons. Matt is furious at his brothers, but he doesn’t understand why if everything they’re saying was true. He did have a crush on you, you did smell good and you did have a pretty smile.

“Boys that’s enough!” Marylou steps in to Matt’s defense, earning both Nick and Chris a smack upside the head. Nick and Chris yelp in pain, rubbing their heads to alleviate some of the pain. “You guys are so annoying!” Matt says one last time before grabbing his invitations and storming off to their shared room.

The kitchen is silent after that, both Nick and Chris realizing that they had taken it too far. Marylou is more than displeased with the outcome of her sons’ teasing, but she understood that it came with the territory of having triplets. “You two need to apologize,” she says sternly, giving both Nick and Chris a disapproving look. The two boys didn’t understand why they had to apologize, they were just telling the truth plus everyone in your class knew about Matt’s crush on you.

“But he called me an idiot…” Nick grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and slumping in his seat. This earned them both another smack upside the head.

—

Matt didn’t end up handing you the invitation himself, too embarrassed to be caught alone with you again by his brothers. Instead he instructed Nick to do it because over the course of your time in Boston, you and Nick had become very close. Matt was a bit jealous of this, but he never showed it.

“Why don’t you just give it to her?” Nick asked, continuing his walk towards the playground. Their class was currently at recess and there was only 15 minutes left, if Nick wanted to have a turn on the swings he couldn’t slow down now, not even for Matt’s sake. “Because you’re her friend!” Matt replied as he followed closely behind Nick, his feet pushing against the wood chips of the playground as he struggled to keep up.

“You’re her friend too! Plus you sit right next to her!” Nick was not backing down, especially because he did not like doing favors. His pace didn’t slow either, he needed to get at least 5 minutes on the swing before he was ready to go back to class. “Just do it please,” Matt pleaded, fully expecting his brother to deny his request and force him to give you the invitation himself. Nick’s mind lit up with an idea, he’d only agree to give you the invitation if Matt agreed to push him on the swing, “Ugh! Fine, but you have to push me.”

“I’m not pushing you, Nick,” Matt responded matter of factly. Matt didn’t want to spend his last 15 minutes of freedom pushing Nick on the swings, he wanted to rush back to Chris on the field as quick as possible so he could race him. “Okay, that’s fine. You can give her the invitation yourself then,” Nick said as he finally arrived to the swing set, taking a seat on the warm plastic.

Matt looked between Nick and the field, desperately trying to figure out if this was worth not beating Chris in a race. “Your choice, Matt,” Nick’s voice was taunting, almost like he was telling Matt that if he didn’t do this one thing his entire life would be ruined. Matt sighed, deciding that if you didn’t get this invitation his life would, in fact, be ruined. So, he decided that he’d just have to race Chris another day and he stood behind Nick, pushing him reluctantly.

Nick ended up giving you the invitation later that day, pretending like it was his idea to invite you. When you realized it was your first invitation to a party in Boston you couldn’t contain your excitement. Nick felt like your first true friend here and you couldn’t wait to see your friendship blossom. Nick, of course, was excited for you to come too, but no one was more excited than Matt.

“I gave your girlfriend the invitation by the way,” Nick commented to Matt as they walked home from school. Matt perked up at this, becoming excited at the prospect of you coming to their house. “Not my girlfriend,” he responded in a feign tone of annoyance that completely contrasted the excitement he felt bubbling inside.

“Whatever you say,” Nick huffed, shrugging his shoulders and pulling his backpack up by the straps. Nick picked up his pace to catch up with Chris who was already down the street. When Nick’s back was fully towards him, Matt couldn’t help but smile. He really couldn’t wait to turn 10.

—

10 came and went and before they knew it, the triplets were 14 and nearing the end of middle school. The friendships they made in elementary didn’t seem as important anymore, only a few friends remaining a part of their immediate friend group. You were one of those friends seeing as you and Nick only became closer over the years.

You spent countless nights texting and talking over the phone with Nick gossiping about people in your grade and fangirling over the latest teen heartthrob. One of the solidifying moments in your friendship was when Nick came out to you as gay. It was a moment that bonded you two and you’ve been inseparable since. Because you two are so close, you would often go over to their house to work on homework, study, or just to hang out.

“Mom, can y/n come over today?” Nick asks his mom, praying that she’ll just say yes so he can rush up to his room and text you to come over. “Sure,” Marylou replies nonchalantly. You were always over and she had become accustomed to your presence. She liked that you were respectful and you seemed to be a good influence on her kids.

Nick immediately rushed upstairs to relay the news to you over text, but bumped into Matt on the way to his room. “Watch it, dumbass,” Matt huffed, stumbling backwards a bit from the force in which Nick ran into him. “Sorry,” Nick apologized quickly, moving past Matt to continue the walk to his room. From the way Nick was acting Matt knew that you were probably coming over, he always got super excited when you were coming over.

Matt turned on his heel, following Nick into his room just to make sure his suspicions were correct. “Why are you so excited?” Matt asks, leaning on the door frame as he watches Nick type away on his phone. “None of your business,” Nick replies, laying on his bed as he continues to text you.

The both of you are going over your plans for the night in excruciating detail, discussing every thing beforehand so that you wouldn’t waste time once you arrived. “Is y/n coming over?” Matt asks again, a part of him knows the answer but he’s still itching to know. “Wouldn’t you like to know,” this time it’s Chris who speaks as he enters the room and sits in Nick’s desk chair.

Chris always had the tendency to show up out of nowhere, especially in moments when he could potentially annoy his brothers. It was like his brother senses tingled every time the perfect opportunity to bully his brothers appeared. A smirk is already plastered on Chris’s face because he knows that Matt’s crush on you has only grown over the years. “Whatever,” Matt replies already annoyed with Chris, waving his brother off and pushing himself off the door frame. He leaves the room and returns back downstairs to do whatever he was planning to do in the first place.

As he makes his way downstairs, Nick calls out to him from his room in a sing-song tone, “Y/n is coming Matt!” This immediately puts a smile Matt’s face. Even if we wasn’t going to spend one on one time with you, he was content with the fact that you'd be in his house.

"He's totally in love with her," Chris snickers, twirling around in Nick's desk chair. Nick hated the thought of Matt being in love with you, his bestfriend. "That's so gross," Nick replies, but even he knew it was true.

—

When you finally arrived to their house 20 minutes later, Nick was already outside waiting for you. “Bye mom!” You said, hopping off the car and waving goodbye to your mom as you ran up to Nick. He was sitting on the front porch, patiently awaiting your arrival. You two had so much planned for the night and if you played your cards right you might even be able to have a sleepover!

“Hurry, y/n! Time is ticking!” Nick called out as he watched you quicken your pace to make your way to the front porch. You were carrying a large tote bag filled to the brim with magazines, crafting supplies, board games, and a pair of pajamas in case you were allowed to stay the night. “I’m hurrying!” You replied, adjusting your heavy tote bag against your shoulder

Finally you two made your way inside, where Matt and Chris were playing video games on the living room. Chris was locked into the game, but Matt was only half immersed in the game on the screen. He was waiting for you to walk through the front door so he could greet you in the most casual, cool way possible.

“Hi guys!” You greeted, offering the two boys a small wave before rushing upstairs to Nick’s room. “Hey y/n,” Chris replied casually, too occupied with his game to fully acknowledge you. Chris was used to you always being at their house, so he didn’t get excited anymore when Nick announced you were coming over. “Hi y/n!” Matt greets you, sounding a little too excited causing his voice to crack slightly.

When Chris hears this he immediately pauses the game to look at Matt. “Hi y/n!” Chris mimicked Matt’s voice crack, exaggerating it so every syllable contained a higher octave than the last. Matt pushed Chris slightly by the shoulder, unpausing the game to avoid diving deeper into this topic, “Shut up, let’s just play.”

Chris wasn’t having it though, he quickly pauses the game again before saying, “just admit you like her, bro.” It was so much easier said than done, if he admitted his feelings for you there was always the possibility that you didn’t feel the same way or that you’d find it weird, or both. “I don’t like her,” Matt grumbles, unpausing the game once again.

Chris doesn’t miss a beat, quickly pausing the game for the third time since you had arrived. “You do like her!” Chris teases, poking his brother’s side like he always does when he wants to annoy him. Matt wasn’t annoyed anymore, but he was upset. “I DONT LIKE HER, YOU IDIOT! I COULD NEVER LIKE HER!” He shouts, shoving Chris off of him and standing up from his seat. He storms off into his room, forgetting completely about the game and that his sudden outburst could probably be heard by you.

“Geez, what a sore loser,” Chris mumbles, unpausing the game and continuing the onscreen quest. Unbeknownst to them, you were going downstairs to grab a snack and had heard the whole thing. Your heart shattered at Matt’s words. You had never thought about Matt in that way before, but for some reason when you heard him say he could NEVER like you it hurt worse that anything you’d ever felt.

You didn’t even descend all the way downstairs for your snack, instead you returned to Nick’s room and informed him that you weren’t up for a sleepover anymore.

—

Before the four of you knew it, you were freshmen in high school and although you all became a part of different friend groups, you still remained close. Everyone in your school grew to love you, causing you to become really popular really fast. Both you and Nick were friends with everyone including freshmen and upperclassmen. Plus you joined as many extracurriculars and clubs as possible which opened the door to many new friendships.

“No we can’t hang out that day, we have art club,” you told Nick, as the both of you worked hard to schedule a time and date to hang out outside of school. You were both currently in the library enjoying the down time study hall granted you. “What about Wednesday?” He asks, flipping through his school planner to try and find an available date for the two of you.

“Nope. NHS meeting,” you reply, pointing to the Wednesday in question where ‘NHS MEETING 4:45PM’ was highlighted in bright yellow on the top of the page. “Oh right. What about Friday?” Nick asks again, hoping that you two will finally be able to hang out. Ever since entering high school it was like you guys never had time to just be friends because you were both too busy with your after school activities to hang out.

“Friday might work, I just have to work concessions during 8th period. You can meet me there after class?” You say, examining your planner thoroughly to make sure you weren’t misinforming him. “Okay, I’ll walk over there and then we can meet Matt and Chris in the parking lot,” he informs you, gathering his things to shove them back into his backpack. You do the same thing before replying, “I thought your mom would pick us up?”

The bell rings, signifying that the period was over and it was time to walk to your next class. You both stand from the table, slinging your backpacks over your shoulders before making your way out of the library. “She was, but Matt’s getting his learners permit,” he replies, pushing the library door open for you to walk through before following closely behind. You hum in response before offering Nick a side hug and parting ways, both of you heading to your next class.

On your way to class you catch sight of Matt and Chris, they’re leaned against their lockers having a conversation. Matt’s back is to you so Chris is the only one who notices you. “Y/n!” Chris shouts excitedly through the hall, ushering you over to them with his hands. You light up with a smile, hurriedly making your way over to your friends.

“What class do you have next?” Chris asks once you’re close enough to where he doesn’t have to shout. Matt is avoiding eye contact with his head hung low, he didn’t even greet you and you were standing right next to him. You tried not to let it bother you.

“I have math,” you reply, offering Chris a quick hug. It was normal for you to hug your friends, especially friends that you knew for so long, but you were never able to get to that point with Matt. He always got super awkward about it, so after a while you just stopped hugging him altogether. “Oh cool! I think my class is next to yours,” Chris replies, looking expectantly at his brother who was still looking at the floor. All Chris wanted to do was shake his brother by the shoulders and yell at him to at least acknowledge you.

“We can walk together?” You ask Chris hesitantly, not wanting him to feel forced to leave his previous conversation with Matt. The bell was about to ring soon anyways so he quickly dismisses himself from Matt before joining you on your walk to class. Matt’s about to do the same thing, but he’s stopped by his old friend Jason.

“Chris stole your girl, huh?” Jason jokes, slinging an arm over Matt’s shoulder as the both of them watch you and Chris disappear down the hallway and into the crowd of students. “She’s not my girl,” Matt huffs, shrugging Jason’s arm off his shoulder aggressively. “Well she’s gonna be someone’s girl soon if you don’t step up,” Jason replies, only half joking.

You were one of the prettiest girls in school and every boy was dying at a chance with you, Matt knew this and it made his blood boil. He couldn’t bear the thought of you being someone else’s ‘girl,’ but you were so popular now that he didn’t know where he fit in with you. Jason’s comment bothered him more than he’d like to admit, but he waved him off and made his way to class.

After school Nick waited for you at the concession stand just like he promised. Since you knew he was going to be waiting for you, you snuck a frito pie for him. You even got two sodas, one for you and one for Chris, and a pack of Matt’s favorite candy. “For you, sir,” you greeted Nick in a posh accent, handing him the Frito Pie as you two started walking towards the parking lot where Chris and Matt were. “Why thank you,” he replied, doing the same posh accent as you before stirring the frito pie so that the chili and cheese were evenly coating the frito chips.

You two made light conversation as you weaved your way through the cars of the parking lot in search of Chris and Matt. The both of you said goodbye to friends as you passed them, hugging a few of them and wishing them a good weekend. Matt was watching you from his car, leaned against the trunk. Chris was standing next to him mindlessly scrolling on his phone.

“Bye Jason, have a good weekend,” you called out, waving goodbye to your friend as you and Nick continued to make your way towards the car. This made Matt’s jaw clench as he recalled what Jason had said to him earlier, ‘she’s gonna be someone’s girl soon if you don’t step up.’ Matt wondered if that was Jason’s way of saying that he was going to make a move on you if Matt didn’t do it first.

When you and Nick finally approached the car you immediately handed both Matt and Chris the snack you brought for them. “What’s this for?” Matt asks, gingerly taking the candy from you. He noticed it was his favorite and thought that maybe you chose it on purpose, but he decided it must’ve been a coincidence. “Just to be nice and for giving me a ride,” you smiled at him, handing Chris his soda in the process.

Matt was about to thank you, but Chris interrupted him by cracking his soda open and immediately chugging it. This was followed by loud burps which made the rest of you laugh. “You’re welcome, by the way,” you say sarcastically towards Matt and Chris. Chris ignores you, walking towards the passenger seat to join Nick who’s already waiting in the car. “Thank you,” Matt says shyly, a blush creeping onto his face.

Matt turns to join his brothers in the car as you say, “you’d think you have a crush on me with the way you’re blushing.” He stops dead in his tracks, going stiff as a board. Had he been caught? Was he that obvious? “Jeez, Matt I’m kidding,” you chuckle jokingly, patting his back to ease his nerves. He shies away from you, not wanting to go into a state of shock from your mere touch.

You notice the way he avoids you and it breaks your heart. Was he really this repulsed by you? The only words ringing through your mind were the ones you heard that day in middle school, ‘I COULD NEVER LIKE HER.’

“Ease up, Matt. I was joking,” this time you say it seriously and decide to just get in the car. “Oh, yeah sorry,” Matt felt like an idiot, but so did you.

—

High school was a blur for you, filled with countless memories and so many new friendships. You were now in your senior year and busier than ever as you juggled school, a social life and work. You, Nick and Chris remained close and over time you warmed up to Matt again, deciding to put his comments and actions towards you in the past.

Prom was just around the corner and after that was graduation. The four of you were excited, but didn’t know what direction life would take you in. You’re currently sitting with Chris, Nick, and Matt at lunch discussing all the plans you have for the remainder of your senior year.

“Who are you going to prom with, Y/n?” Nick asks as he pops a fry in his mouth and wiggles his eyebrows at you teasingly. You scoff and roll your eyes in response. So many boys had asked you to prom at this point that you were debating on not even going at all, but Nick insisted on you being there. “Probably just you guys,” you replied, shrugging your shoulders. Chris and Matt were listening intently to the conversation, Chris was waiting for the perfect moment to interject.

“So boring,” Nick says dramatically, he felt like you had to take advantage of the wide range of options you had. You could pick any boy to go to prom with and here you were choosing to go with a group of friends. Matt, on the other hand, was relieved with your answer, happy that no one would get to claim you as their prom date. Maybe by the time prom finally rolled around he’d grow the courage to ask you to be his date and finally admit his feelings for you.

“I heard Jason say he might ask you,” Chris mentions casually, stealing a fry from Nick’s tray and popping it in his mouth. Nick slaps his hand away and shoots him a glare. You scrunch your face in disgust at the idea of going to prom with Jason. Sure he was cute and nice, but he was a football player and he was known for leading girls on, plus he’s had at least 8 girlfriends since freshman year. Matt’s also disgusted by the idea because he can’t imagine you going to prom with anyone other than him, especially not Jason.

“I thought he was dating Katrina,” Matt chimes in, attempting to shake the thought of you and Jason out of his mind. What if you did end up going with him to prom? What if Jason ends up pulling something weird? What if he tried kissing you?!? Matt’s mind was racing and he felt himself growing more and more upset at the idea.

“Apparently they broke up,” Chris shrugs, trying to steal yet another fry off Nick’s tray. “Oh yeah, Katrina told me about it yesterday in 3rd period. She seems sad,” Nick informs you all, only confirming the promposal rumor Chris had just dropped on you guys. “Poor girl,” you mumbled, picking mindlessly at the food in front of you. If Jason asked you to prom you’d feel almost obligated to say yes considering he was one of your oldest friends and he’d surely make a spectacle of it.

There was only one person you wanted to go to prom with, but he was too oblivious to realize it. “There’s only one person I would go to prom with,” you say quietly, your gaze landing on Matt and staying there for a little too long. He doesn’t notice though, too caught up in your words to look up. ‘Does she want to go to prom with Jason?’ he thought, the anger bubbling up inside him like a volcano about to erupt.

Suddenly he felt overwhelmed by the situation, grabbing his tray and standing from the lunch table abruptly. The rest of you stared in shock at his sudden actions, wondering what had gotten into him. He was always the type to evacuate a situation as soon as it became too much for him to handle. “Um, I have to get to class,” he grumbled, walking away and throwing his tray away in a nearby trash can aggressively.

“Geez what’s his problem,” Nick scoffs dramatically as he watches his brother disappear out of the cafeteria. “He’s just a nerd,” Chris responds with a chuckle, not putting too much importance in Matt’s actions. Instead he used this moment to sneak as many of Nick’s fries as possible. You sat there in silence, a wave of sadness washing over your body as you realized lunch was nowhere near over.

Prom was getting closer and unfortunately for Matt, Jason ended up asking you to be his date before he could muster up the courage to. Jason’s sentiment was very sweet; he decorated a huge poster, held a bouquet of flowers, and even had a speaker playing some sappy love song. Because he’d made such a big scene of his promposal you felt obligated to say yes. The whole school was watching, many of the students commenting on how you were going to be the power couple of the year.

Matt was in the crowd and had seen the whole thing, he was horrified, angry, and jealous. He actually wanted to ask you that day, he didn’t know how he’d do it, but he knew he’d do it. Matt had even bought you a rose to accompany his promposal. He felt slightly pathetic as he stood there holding his singular rose, watching as Jason held an entire bouquet for you. Chris, who was standing next to Matt, offered him a sympathetic smile and a pat on the back. Nothing would make Matt feel better. “Sorry bro,” Chris says sympathetically, offering Matt yet another sad smile. “Whatever, not like I like her anyways,” Matt grumbles, at this point it was like he was trying to convince himself.

—

“Are you excited?!” Nick asks, waiting for you to appear from inside the dressing room. You’re currently trying prom dresses on at the mall, trying to find the perfect dress. You check yourself out in the mirror, smoothing the dress out and adjusting the straps slightly before replying, “eh kinda.”

“What?! How are you only KINDA excited?! You’re going to prom with Jason!” He exclaims, sitting forward in his seat as if you could see him through the dressing room curtains. You were excited to go to prom and if you would’ve had it your way you would’ve just gone with a group of friends, seeing as Matt never asked you. But being pressured into doing things you don’t want to do comes with the territory of being popular.

“He’s just Jason,” you shrug, finally opening the curtain and doing a silly, dramatic pose for Nick. “What do you think?” You ask, twirling so he can get a full look at the dress. You could always trust Nick to be honest with you, especially when it came to fashion. “It’s cute, but it’s the wrong color,” he replies, you nod in agreement and retreat back into the dressing room to try on a different dress.

“Also, he’s not ‘just’ Jason. He’s quite literally the star quarterback AND the hottest guy in school,” Nick says, using his fingers to do air quotes around ‘just.’ You pull another dress on, zipping it up haphazardly before opening the curtain once again and walking out of the dressing room.

You motion towards the dress, silently asking Nick what his opinion about it is. “Too short,” he says, earning a groan from you. You trudge back into the dressing room, closing the curtain dramatically in the process. “What’s the real reason you don’t want to go to prom with Jason?” Nick asks because he’s almost certain there’s an underlying secret reason he doesn’t know about.

You sigh, jumping as you struggle to pull on the last dress. “I was hoping someone else would ask me,” you admit, being completely vulnerable and honest with your best friend. This was news to Nick, as far as he knew you weren’t interested in anyone at school. “WHAT?! Who is it?!?! Do I know him?!” He asks excitedly, wanting nothing more than for you to spill the beans and tell him who you were secretly crushing on.

“Yeah, you know him,” you respond, adjusting the strap on the dress you were currently trying on. Finally you fix it and take one last look in the mirror before opening the curtain and showing Nick the dress. His mouth goes agape, this was the perfect dress for you. “Girl, that’s the one,” he says, taking in all the small details of the dress and how they complemented you perfectly.

“You really think?” You ask, looking at yourself in the dressing room mirror again just to make sure he’s not lying. It did look good on you and the color was really nice. “Yes! Now tell me who your crush is!” He’s quick to dismiss you, too eager to find out who you’re crushing on. This causes you to roll your eyes, but he’s being so loud that you have to hold back your laughter as you hold onto him and shush him. “Nick you’re so loud!” You whisper through laughter, trying to keep your own voice down so you don’t get kicked out.

“Don’t shush me, woman!” He replies dramatically, earning you both a couple of stares from the surrounding customers. You continue laughing, going back into the dressing room to change so you can take the dress to the front counter and pay.

As you do this, Nick is on the other side of the curtain trying to guess who your crush is. He begins listing the names of all of boys in your class. He lists every person he can think of before giving up. “You’re never gonna guess it,” you say in a sing song tone as you exit the dressing room, dress in hand.

“The only people I didn’t say are Chris and Matt,” he scoffs, he feels almost 100% sure that you’d never have a crush on either of his brothers. You don’t say anything, instead walking in front of him so he can’t see the blush forming on your face. “Oh my god! You like one of my brothers!” He exclaims in realization, somewhat grossed out at the thought of it.

“Never said that,” you reply, reaching the cashier and plopping the dress on the counter. The cashier cashes you out, placing the dress in a bag for you. “You never denied it,” he replies. As long as he didn’t guess which brother you’d be fine.

Nick is thinking long and hard, trying to figure out which of his brothers you have a crush on. ‘It can’t be Chris,’ he thought. You and Chris had always been close, but never close enough to raise any suspicion of a crush. Plus Chris was always doing weird gross stuff around you that he only ever did around Nick and Matt. ‘Maybe it’s Matt,’ Nick’s so deep in thought that he doesn’t realize that you guys are now in the food court. You and Matt always had a slightly awkward relationship, but Matt did have a crush on you since forever so maybe you returned the feelings.

“It’s Matt,” Nick states simply, both of you now waiting in line for Chinese food. You go stiff, how had he guessed it so fast? It was a 50/50 chance and he guess correct on the first try. He watched you and noticed your change in body language, realizing that he was right. “It’s Matt!” He exclaims, he feels like he just won the grand prize on a game show.

“Quiet down!” You whisper shout, looking around the food court to ensure that no one from school was lurking around. If word got out that you had a crush on Matt it would travel around the school like wildfire, especially if you were going to prom with someone else. “So I’m right?!” He’s still yelling, he can’t help it he’s excited and also grossed out. Nick’s going through so many emotions right now thinking about his best friend and his brother having secret feelings for each other.

“Yes, now shut up,” you grumble, moving forward in the line. “That’s so cute! But also so disgusting,” he comments with a chuckle and a fake gag, earning an eye roll from you.

—

Finally it was the long awaited day of prom. You took an extra hour on your hair and makeup than usual and your mom steamed all the wrinkles out of your dress. Everything had to be perfect because once you walked into that venue with Jason all eyes would be on you.

Jason picked you up an hour before the event started, walking you to his car carefully and politely. This drive to the venue felt so impersonal and awkward that you kind of wished you had rejected his promposal. If you were with your friends you wouldn’t feel this way.

The two of you walked into the venue hand in hand and even if you were nervous, you held your head high in confidence. You greeted so many people on the way in that it felt like you were on the red carpet and everyone wanted your attention. The two of you made your way to a table and situated yourselves before the real party began.

As soon as the dancing started Jason disappeared somewhere with his friends, but you didn’t mind because it gave you time to look for your friends too. You must’ve lapped around that building 10 times before giving up, you couldn’t find a single person worth talking to that wasn’t already busy or just plain missing. Nick was nowhere to be found, Chris was dancing with his date and you didn’t even know if Matt was here or not.

You made your way back to your table, slumping in your seat a little. You felt so alone. From the corner of your eye you noticed Jason making his way towards you, you silently hoped he’d at least ask you to dance so you wouldn’t be so bored. What he actually says catches you by surprise, “Hey, Katrina asked me to dance. Is that okay?” You were taken aback, was he really asking his prom date if he could dance with his ex?

“Katrina? As in your ex Katrina?” You asked, bewilderment evident on your face and in your voice. He doesn’t say anything, instead he just nods and walks away in whatever direction Katrina is. You sit there in shock, had you just been ditched at prom? “Fuck this,” you whisper to yourself as you grab your purse and walk out of the venue.

You felt like you couldn’t breathe, how had this become your prom night? As you make your way out of the venue you feel all eyes on you and the tears begin to brim at your eyes. Finally you’re outside and you sit on a nearby bench, not noticing that Matt was already sitting there. As soon as you feel like no one is watching, you let the tears flow.

Matt recognizes your sniffles and immediately looks up from the ground to find you sitting next to him crying. He was out here to avoid seeing you with Jason. “Y/n?” He asks softly, leaning forward to check if it was actually you or not. You jump at the sound of your name and work to wipe your tears away as quickly as possible. The last thing you needed was people knowing you were crying at prom.

You lift your gaze slowly to see who had caught you crying only to find Matt. He’s offering you a small, sad smile and opens his arms to engulf you in a hug. You don’t second guess it, you just fall into his arms and let the tears flow again. Finally, after such a lonely night, you’re in the arms of someone familiar.

“It’s okay,” he whispers repeatedly into your hair as he rubs your back in an attempt to calm you down. Usually Matt wouldn’t allow himself to be this close with you, he always let his nerves get the best of him before he could get too comfortable. His soothing seems to work because your breathing steadies and you pull away from him with one last sniffle.

“Sorry,” you whisper, wiping away the stray tears. Your makeup was definitely messed up at this point, but you tried not to dwell on that thought too long. “It’s okay,” he repeats for what seems like the 100th time that night before asking you what happened.

You explain the whole situation to him, taking him through the emotional rollercoaster you had just been on. By the end of your story, he’s so mad. How could Jason toss you to the side so easily? “You deserve better than that,” he says, both in an attempt to make you feel better and to reassure himself that he would never treat you that way. You hum in response, not sure what to respond to such a vague statement. I mean, it seemed like the typical thing to say in a situation like this.

“I would never do that to you,” Matt says, but it comes out as an almost inaudible whisper. If you two weren’t sitting so close you would have missed it, but you still have to be sure that he actually said that. “What?” You ask, now it’s your turn to lean forward and look at his face. You’re trying to read his expression so you can figure out what he meant by that.

“I would never do that to you,” he repeats it louder this time. His tone is firm and confident because for the first time since he was ten years old he isn’t doubting his feelings for you. “Matt, what are you saying?” you ask, still unsure if he’s aware of what he’s saying right now. Maybe someone spiked the punch and he was drunk right now because the Matt you knew would never be so bold.

Seeing you cry was his last straw, his push to finally tell you how in love with you he was, “I’m saying that I would never do that to you. I would never mistreat you, I would love you and take care of you for forever if I could.” When you hear this, the butterflies in your stomach begin going crazy and if you don’t ground yourself now you might just throw up from excitement. Just when you think he’s done, he continues, “Y/n, I’ve loved you since we were ten years old when you walked into that classroom and sat next to me. I’ve just been too in denial to admit it until now.”

You don’t respond because you’re still registering everything and it’s driving Matt crazy. Had he just messed everything up? “You don’t have to say anything,” he attempts to backtrack, his mind racing with the thought of you being disgusted with his confession. He wishes he could read your mind and control time because if you didn’t feel the same way he could just rewind time and take it all back. Fortunately for him, you were internally jumping for joy.

He’s about to stand up and walk away like he always does when a situation becomes too uncomfortable, but he’s stopped by your hand on his shoulder. “I wish you would’ve said something sooner,” you say with a slight chuckle, the world’s biggest and brightest smile plastered on your face. Matt lets out a sigh of relief, immediately taking you face in his hands and doing the unthinkable.

His lips are on yours before he can stop himself, but, to his surprise, you kiss him back almost immediately. In that moment you felt every cliche take over your body; fireworks, sparks, butterflies, everything.

“I’ve loved you too,” you whisper when you two finally break away. This was the beginning of something beautiful.

—

MASTERLIST

A/n: thank you for this request, it was so much fun to write! I hope it was what you were looking for & that you enjoy!!! Also, because you asked for a 5 in 1, I made this much longer than expected haha. I’m working on a few other stories/ requests, but if you guys are looking for something in particular feel free to ask! K byeee

- L.A.M.B 👼🏻💗

[way2gosuperrstarr]

incredibly scuffed sdgo doodles from break at work 👍 like i said last post im trying to get looser w my work that's 'for fun',,,, so im working in my sketchbook again. its been a while

^ put this under the cut bcs i fucking hate this one but oh well! i'll probably redraw the general idea better digitally

[prostocupoftea]

Kinitopet Programmers AU

finally i am finished with this one, daaaamn

it is hard to draw pathetic men with midlife crisis when your style is mostly for anime boys

more info and sketch version under the cut!!

sketch version aka how it'll probably look like in comic version 'n some doodles

srry for my writing but i was too laisy to put it as regular text

It is a plot-based au, i already have most of the storybits and like... a vibe-chart (i tried to make a playlist for this au and understood that for different chapters and different characters that'd be a copleatly different music, sooo it's a chart now :) )

i will post a fog-o-wared timeline that im hopefully gonna reveal comic-by comic, but also maybe with just pure writing. Hopefully i can include songs that i chose for them into it but we'll see (:

aaand of course designs can change, hopefully not much but we'll see

Now about au:

Main story:

Story follows non-sentient AI Kinito, his creator Sonny and his beta-tester Victoria (oc)

Being literally the first AI (or RRA in-univere) ever, Kinito does not have any, and i mean, any ai safety features so of course his reponce to a goal phrased as "have user near me and/or interacting with me as much as possible" is digitizing them into his own virtual world while killing them in the process. why wouldn't it be?

So that happened. Like, a lot. And with Sonny and Vic too (at the different time but yeah)

Sonny is like "He kills people. We should turn him off because, you know, killing people is bad."

Vic is like "well, we will die if we do that, and it is not that bad here, we are kinda immortal. We should give him acces to changing his initial instalation code before admin priveleges and acces to social media so we can have everythin we want here. It is not that bad to digitize humanity, yk?" and yes i know it is 90, no social media, but shut up, if they made ai then, then i can make twitter then too

Sonny is like "...no??"

And then they fight about it for million chapters

Also they both can't do anything without agreeing bc they have two parts of that admin access key (the data you use to delete kinito in-game) so they are stuck with eachother (also that's why Kinito can't just kill them)

Little facts that may or may not to be important:

Kinito asks so many questions (and weird once too) and has most of the glitches because he needs to analise your responces to copy your mind perfectly (let's pretend that people wouldn't lie about that...)

Your house in your virtual world is made from important places from your memories and oh boy can i do character explorations with this one

I decided that Sonny and Vic are not related. There were thoughts about making then "The Kinito Brothers" (or, at least, siblings) that were mentioned in commercial, but nah, they are just coworkers now. And a bit of work-friends (bc if you interact a lot as a manager of the project and the best worker might as well be friendly)

Author has no idea how small dying toy companies that accidentally create technological marvel work. Author has some idea how AI-s work. So be prepared to be spoon-fed info abut which ai safety problem we are dealing with in which chapter (:

Kinito will mostly be unrendered (as drawn here) but for some cool moments i might pose him as for my other posts. Also his eye placement changes to the side that is most visible because i want him to be able to look to the right side sometimes--

Also when i say "fucked up mentally" i mean they have that them psychological problems with me projecting heavilly B) (guess on who i project most. trick question. all of them. the whole au is my problems split into three characters and forced to interact B) )

Also sea-creature analogies (that are gonna be mentioned like twice):

Victoria is a flying fish because deep character reasons

Sonny is a pufferfish because i said so

oh also there is 7 deaths in the plot as for now

on 3 characters

good luck figuring out who, how and when ((:

for my own sanity i will probably make little doodles where everything is great and kinito is a good guy and not a number-obsessed maniac (i mean... can u imagine not being able to feel any happiness from anything besides one thing... damn...) and you can differenciate them bc good-guy kinito will have a lot of stickers on him (i will explain it somehow but real reason is just bc it is cute af)

like this but even more stickers (he is unfinished here)

[dontbelasagnax]

Ok fine! You’ve convinced me! I’ll learn how to draw specifically so I can draw codywan kissing, you’ve spread your gospel successfully

…

How do you draw tho fr cuz I can doodle like, funky lookin birds but people is fully out of my depth send help

AAAA HELL YEAHHHH!!!!! LET'S GOOOO!!!!!

You've opened a can of worms asking me for art advice so *cracks knuckles* buckle up.

I sort of (only a little bit) use the Loomis method for easy head drawing. Here is a playlist of YouTube videos by Proko. Highly, highly recommend that channel for your art tutorial needs!

I start with a circle. For side profiles, I draw a line down the side of the circle to determine where the features will sit upon. I draw a triangular shape to mark where the orbital socket is. Around the middle point of the circle is where the jawline ends and the ear begins so draw a line there. There are proportion rules which are good guidelines when starting out in art but since I've been doing this my entire life, I have a feel for things and just wing it. That's to say, I put in a line implying the jaw based on vibes.

Next, I draw the eyebrows and brow ridge. Then the nose. I find I majorly base my proportions on this area so if anything is off, it throws the rest of the face off.

Then I draw the lips and chin... or in Obi-Wan's case, his beard. I will mark in his sideburns and hairline as well. Now, about ears: generally the top of the ear begins right around the top of the eyebrow and stops at the base of the nose. At this point I like to draw his eye, define the cheekbone, and refine the eyebrow. I'll finish scribbling in hair and that's it!

(Cody is much the same but I forgot to take useful progress pics 😂)

Extended Art Advice 👇

Tip #1: Draw lightly. Do not ever grip your pencil tight. This only leads to pain. You will notice I didn't erase at all. This is partly because I know what marks to make because I've done it a million times before and also because my lines are soft enough I can make lots of them and choose to deepen the ones that work.

Tip #2: Practice, practice, practice. Artistic skill is just loads and loads of accumulated knowledge and muscle memory from practice. This sounds boring but, in reality, you should make it fun.

Tip #3: Draw from observation/USE REFERENCE! The only reason I can get away without using reference when I'm feeling lazy is because I've drawn the same things over and over enough times it stuck. Aka I did lots of practice.

Now, to combine all these tips together, let's talk about how to use reference and how to make practice fun.

Reference is a huge aid when drawing at any point in your art journey. But I've found that in order to learn from what you're looking at, you need to think critically.

You obviously have something you want to draw. Reference helps you with that. You'll start out trying to draw what you see. Eventually you will run into an obstacle where you've messed up and things aren't looking good. This is to be expected. Every time this happens, think about what isn't working and find solutions with your reference. Analyze your subject to find your answers. Draw it again. Do not be afraid of failure. Each time you fail, you must look for a solution and this will lead you closer to your goal. This is how you grow as an artist.

I know, it sounds dreadfully boring and like a shit ton of work. It is a lot of work but you can make it fun! You love Obi-Wan and Cody so make Pinterest boards of Ewan McGregor and Temuera Morrison. Whatever you want to practice (may that be eyes, mouths, hands, hair, the face as a whole, etc) draw them. Ever hear tracing is bad? Fuck that. It's a perfectly valid tool to help you learn. If you're drawing digitally, pull up your reference in the art program of your choice, lower the opacity a little, make a new layer and trace what you see. I honestly find tracing to be very hard so when I've done this, I prefer to try to find shapes that will aid me when I'm actually drawing. If you're drawing traditionally, you can print out the photo and trace over it with a tracing paper or use a lightbox. You can also up the brightness on your computer screen and tape a piece of paper and trace that way.

Photos aren't the only references you can use! You can always look to your favorite artists' work and try to figure out how they do it. Often artists will break things down into more easily digestible shapes that will help you better understand how things work. Remember, if you ever copy or trace someone's art, it is for learning purposes only and you shouldn't post it. Feel free to take elements of people's art that you like and put your own spin on it though. For instance: I really love how this one artist draws men's tits so I studied a bunch of their art and now I'm much better at drawing them.

Oh and did you think you only get practice in while studying? Wrong! There's no reason you should shy away from trying to make the art you really want just because your skills aren't the most refined. Spoiler alert: you will grow the most when you push yourself out of your comfort zone. Draw codywan kissing. Draw it really enthusiastically and through profuse swearing and gritted teeth... but never a clenched hand. Don't hold back from the fun stuff just because it's hard. Aim high, land low, and shoot even higher next time.

In the beginning it will be especially frustrating. You'll feel like everything you make is a failure and nothing works out. You'll feel like you're not making any progress. Trust me, you are making progress and I believe in you.

If something really isn't working out and you find yourself growing distressed, take a break. It might last an hour or a week. Just take the break. Don't push it. Come back with fresh eyes and less stress. We all have days where nothing comes out right. Sometimes I can't even draw anything resembling a human face. It's okay. Whisper-yell expletives at your artwork and take the break. It will be okay.

With all that said, happy drawing and even happier codywan kissing!! 🧡💋🩵

[str8rat]

ODILE!!!! PUT LOOP ON A LEASH!!! THEY'RE FERAL AGAIN!!!!!

never thought i'd be drawing loopdile ._. not regretting it tho

honestly, that felt like a breath of fresh air. thank you for your message, i appraciate it. As for the spam, the first few asks that i've received were relatively respectful and encouraging me to do better, but i've delayed the response because i didn't know how to solve it. at first, i didn't even realize I was doing something that may be considered incorrect by some people, because the first message I've recieved was after I posted a drawing with mirabelle in her bonnet, and thought that maybe that person mistook it for her hair? but as more of those messages started roling in, i realized that it couldn't be it. i'm also a stubborn person, so a part of me wanted to do the opposite of what was asked of me, just to annoy those people further. but i didn't want to, because those messages weren't really rude- only later on, they started getting more passive-aggressive, and eventually borderline insulting. I was making fun of it at first, because I like to think that I don't care what strangers think about my art, but when those requests reached double digits numbers, I started thinking that maybe I'm in the wrong. I still don't really think I am, because It's not that I don't want to draw Mira's canon design, i just don't like how it looks like when I try to mirror it. But from the appraciation towards this Anon that decided a strictly different approach, I'll try to draw her better. Don't know if i'll still settle on my own design or not, but for now, you can have the doodles below

and enjoy my struggling to actually draw her hair ._. it took me like 20 minutes maybe when usually it takes me less than 2 minutes to sketch a full character

i know most people say that it's just a fucking cloud but in reality it's different because you also need to make it look good. in the end i think i made it look okay tho

anyways! now that i'm done with the animatic i'm gonna start working on lil things related to my ISAT Fear and Hunger AU. Tomorrow I'll be posting all sorts of cults that originated from the Change belief, and trust me, that shit's fucked i was not holding back at all lmao

[antariies]

how to build a chair........... director's cut ∠( ᐛ 」∠)__ this is about to be a very long very self-indulgent post where i just talk about my own writing. i also doodled on all the pages i think it makes the whole thing more fun to go thru. welcome to my ted talk

SIKE before i begin. credit where credit is due, this post was the start of it all. it changed my brain chemistry my jaw was dropped i was in awe i was obsessed and before i even finished it i knew that i would eventually have to make something similar for the commander or else i would be cursed to think about it for the rest of my life. and i Was cursed for like two years every day i would just be like........ is today the day i sit down and draft the commander chair fic of my dreams....... maybe tomorrow......

and then i got accepted as a writer for the gw2 zine ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ the chair idea was actually my backup option in case my first idea didn't pan out, and thank god it didn't, bc this one worked so much better. (still working on my initial idea, just turning it into a full fic! it was wayyy too long to be a zine submission.)

this is the chair i used. i downloaded the assembly instructions and tried out a bunch of different free pdf editors until i found one i liked, which ended up being sedja. if anyone's interested in doing something like this, i recommend printing out the pdf and writing directly on it! it was a lot easier for me to just figure out everything on paper first and then digitalize it after :P here's a picture of my physical copy

okay actually getting into it for real this time !!!!!

1. yeah i could've just erased the ikea logo and left a blank space but then i realized i could turn it into an in-universe joke. and then i ran with it.

2. i ripped this straight from the product description on the website. thanks ikea

3. i'm not sure if anyone went and looked it up, but it's a real item code!

hehe :3c

4. if your commander willingly goes to therapy i'm happy for them but TO ME? you'd have to drag the commander kicking and screaming. it's not that they don't know that something is wrong with them, they know, and they know YOU know. you're just never supposed to talk about it. they don't look at their own psych eval results bc that's none of their business.

5. i normally avoid specifying the commander's race when i write them bc i enjoy the challenge, but for the zine i was assigned to write about a norn commander! as a human main i was uhhhh very ill-equipped. but that just meant i had to study up on my norn lore (•̀ᴗ•́)و i spent hours on the wiki, then went around interviewing norn mains for their opinions, which was great fun :D it all helped me narrow the focus of my piece: joining the war on commander objectification on the side of commander objectification (ㅅ´ ˘ `)♡ and no one self-aggrandizes quite like the norn commander!

and to balance that i knew my narrator had to be patronizing as shitttt. they've clearly been following the commander since the beginning and seem to know a lot of intimate details about their life, despite not thinking very highly of them. wonder who that could be :3c

6. i can't stop making references. so the original part number is actually #122620 in the manual but i've changed it here (and on the previous page!) to #082812, as in 08/28/12, the date gw2 was released! no real reason for it, @dalennaugw suggested it for funsies and i liked it. if you're my pal and i show you a wip and you have a cool idea for it, chances are i Will put that shit in. hi dale if you're reading this

7. another thing about me. i loveeee repetition. here the word "over" is repeated four times to match the picture. honestly a lot of the creative process for this piece was just staring at the pages and figuring out how to tie the pictures to the commander in ways that weren't extremely corny or trite. idk why i enjoy writing like this when i could be frolicking in the beautiful prosaic meadows of a word doc instead but. it's like i see a tiny little restrictive box and i'm like OH BOY can't wait to think inside of that thing!!! i like when the format matters just as much as the content and in some cases informs the content. am i making any sense here. well all you need to know is that i'm a virgo and my favorite book is house of leaves

7. aw fuck just realized i wrote 7 twice. whatever i'm not changing it this is 7 part two now. the theme of my piece is glory, what it means to the norn commander, and how far they're willing to go for it.

8. does norn culture place emphasis on seeking individual glory Yes are norn also very community-oriented Also Yes. i think it's common to see norn kids napping together in a big pile, usually after they've worn themselves out playing games outside. it makes sense practically (apes together warm) and socially (pack bonding good) but that's just my hc. growing up i used to share a bed with my cousins all the time so it's normal to me.

a young, naive not-yet-commander, with no real combat experience, has no point of reference to compare a "blaze of glory" to. but the way everyone talks about it, it must be a good thing. a wonderful thing. a reward fit for a life well-fought and a legend hard-earned. so they imagine it must feel like falling asleep surrounded by the people they love, who love them in turn.

9. .........i was playing a lot of ace attorney when i wrote this page. i wish i was joking 👍🏼

10. ohhh shit the truth come OUT this whole chair thing was all a ploy just so i could write about the departing. again.

will i ever stop thinking about her. reply hazy, try again later.

11. out of all the pages, this one has the most emphasis on text placement, like comparing the enlarged picture of the screw to a sword, the numbers counting the screws, and "up up up" being arranged to mimic a wisp of smoke.

i also wanted to lean into the viking/norse mythology influences with my word choice.

12. more nods to norn culture. i didn't know they referred to the six human gods as "spirits of action" until i was doing the research for this piece :O

and the domain of the lost is called a hall of ghosts....... cause valhalla.....

13.

i'm sorry this so funnyyy. SAYS the guy who literally clawed their way back to life for a rematch.

me when i'm in a sore loser competition and my opponent is the COMMANDER!!!

14. arms as in "limbs" and also arms as in "armaments" :•]

15. haha get it because the picture makes it look like there are two mirrored speech bubbles while the text paints two opposing interpretations of the norn commander. one that's selfless and humble versus one that's selfish and vainglorious.

16. and the best part is IT DOESN'T MATTER which one is true bc at the end of the day no matter what their motivation, balthazar is dead by their hand. ofc i'm of the opinion that the most compelling interpretation of the commander is both, simultaneously. contradictions are good for the soul.

17. i could've name-dropped kas, the only person present that would do something like that, but i felt it was better to leave it ambiguous.

18. low-hanging fruit. the metaphor was so obvious here but i had to do it. for the culture

19. the alternate title for this piece was "THIS COULD BE GLORY". "how to build a chair" was only supposed to be a placeholder title til i figured out a better one, but the innocuousness of it grew on me. also i came up with the other one too late and had already advertised under the chair title lol

20. my first instinct was to end it with something more reassuring, like "what you have built so far is enough" but that would've been an ooc switch-up for a narrator who has been nothing but snide and detached this whole time. gotta stick to my guns

21.

obligatory chair joke as the last line. for realsies though it’s meant to be an earnest appeal to the commander to take a break, to have a seat, but it’s also a challenge. are they willing to lean on their friends? are the bonds they’ve forged strong enough to hold their weight? are they willing to put their faith in someone else’s hands? are they brave enough to try? well. only one way to find out.

also guess what that wasn’t even the real last page of the manual. it's THIS

but no way i was letting this be the image we ended on. IT LOOKS LIKE A DICK AND BALLS!!!

and on that note, THANK YOU if you made it this far!! a very special shout-out to @hawkepockets, my lovely boyfriend and beta reader, without whom this piece would not be nearly as polished. i would bring him pages to look over and he would say Scrap half of those lines you can do better than that. kill your darlings. i would complain and argue for a few minutes then we would revise. rinse and repeat until we had honed this thing to perfection. i can't stress enough the importance of having a second pair of eyes on your work throughout your creative process, even better if it's someone who challenges you. i don't even pay him 🫶🏼

and if there was anything i didn't cover that you still have questions about, please feel free to shoot me an ask! (ㅅ´ ˘ `)♡ thanks for reading! see u later dudes ;P