#dont think i can have that conversation in person
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
Generally, I try to look up every new term that gets popular in social media to check if its aave (and lo and behold it usually is). So i try not to use it. However, since I learnt english from the internet and watch a lot of content and essays by Black creators the chances are very high I still likely use a ton when I'm not intending to. When I'm talking to another Black person, do you personally think it'd be appropriate to ask them to tell me if they notice I misuse anything so I can adjust my speech? Or would that be clunky or annoying to most people, having to look out for that? Can't really generalize... Do I just ask case by case? But then I'd worry I'd seem like I'm fixating on their Blackness by bringing it up unprompted or something.... Do I just wait till the topic of language and aave appropriation comes up naturally? Or am I overthinking it. I just dont wanna make anyone uncomfortable yknow 😭
I don't think you should ask them outright. So not a "can you tell me if-" because that's asking for labor that they are not required to provide lol. It puts the onus on them to do something that you should already do yourself.
I think what would help is leaving the door open instead. "Hey, recently I've become aware that some of the language I've been using might be appropriation. So feel free to tell me if I say or do something that is offensive, because I value our relationship and wouldn't want to cause any hurt." You have to be willing to tell them that it's safe to tell you, and then ACTUALLY be okay with hearing when you've done it. But this lets them know that you've had an experience recently where it was brought to your attention, and it matters.
Now, you don't have to do this in every single conversation, because again- you should be practicing this yourself. But if you feel that it's necessary, then be brave enough to say it 👍🏾
187 notes
·
View notes
Text
(DATV thoughts with spoilers ahead; i think my tags will keep it filtered but just in case it doesn't since i dont want this in the actual game tags)
i just... man. i don't have a well formulated thought for this yet (and its my PERSONAL OPINION and other people can feel as different as they want, this is not an attack) but it keeps bouncing around my head, so. i know the popular thing right now is coming up with in-universe justifications for The Pantry Almost-Kiss Scene in ways that imply Lucanis didn't mean it/it doesn't represent him as a person/he was Faking It.
and i just don't like any of them. they make me sad!!!!!! i don't like the idea that one of the like 4 romance scenes we get in this game is him Pretending in some way, even if he does at that point like Rook back at least somewhat. None of the justifications i've seen make me feel Better about that being the point where we declare him as a romantic interest, which is what it is in the game, functionally. It doesn't lock you in yet but that point IS where the game says "they will take your flirting more seriously now". I did those same scenes for Davrin, Emmrich, and Taash and this is the formula the game uses (the "interrupted almost-kiss/confession" happens for almost all of the companions).
so if the answer for Lucanis' is "actually he stopped because he Didn't like what he was doing/feel that way yet" or that he felt he had to pretend for Rook's sake... it's kind of a letdown you know? esspecially when it comes right after what seems like an actually authentic moment (dispelling his "perfectly gathered clouds of doom"). Because, at that point in the game from my/Rook's perspective, it was like he finally was reciprocating. It made me hope that he'd acknowledge whatever was between him & Rook more in future scenes, especially because you get so little else from him at any other point, in terms of flirting back/showing you he IS interested. like up to that point I felt kind of bad for continuing to flirt at him, when he'd just change the subject right after! if someone did that in real life i would take it as a hint to stop. This is pixels and not real people so I didn't but they have done "reluctant/fearful interest" better in other characters if that's truly what they were going for in this one.
so after finishing the romance and getting the rest of content... idk. I don't like saying "one of the major chunks of characterization we get needs to be Thrown Out Actually because he was Pretending". because it's not like he or Rook ever actually address it in game--you just don't get to talk about feelings until some dialogue choices only in the act 3 romance scene, and then his speech at endgame (not even a full conversation, so much as his personal declaration). like it takes until the VERY end of the game for him to say the thing about "he was afraid to want you", but that comes after you've already hooked up, even.
I think truly what annoys me is that it's a story choice that can only make sense in HINDSIGHT not AS PLAYING. Only once you have all the scenes can you say "this one is out of character" and then you either have to accept it as bad writing, or come up with some in-universe justification to explain it... and so far none of the in universe ones feel good to me. i wish they did because maybe then I'd be less annoyed, rip. but at the end of the day i think even if there was some intent there, it was a poor choice for his story arc, because it doesn't effectively convey anything... and the reason why we can project a lot of different explanations onto it is simply because it is never addressed again (and again, Lucanis Dellamorte is NOT A PERSON he is a CHARACTER used to further a story for you the player, and so the reasons I don't like this choice are story-level and not a dig at how real life people feel or act).
So yeah at the end of the day. that is simply not a narrative device I would ever personally use in this way on a player/reader. certain kinds of hindsight revelations have their place (see: what the devs tried to do with Varric though I also think that falls apart on close inspection, but at least it has justification in-universe), but for a romance it just makes me embarrassed for Rook. In a game where you don't have nearly as many back-and-forth conversations with characters and have to resort to eavesdropping on them talking to each other, it's sad that one of the like 5 times you actually get to talk to Lucanis one on one we're maybe supposed to believe he wasn't being authentic, and also that Rook can't respond to this ever. It would be different if it had any kind of follow up, imo. or honestly as i've said before i would rather it have been swapped out with something entirely different or where we get to talk about their feelings instead, before i get labeled as one of the "people mad he's not Zevran 2.0/a sexy latin sterotype".
But having to step back to player-level analysis versus in-character analysis when looking at his whole romance arc just feels sloppy. but i'd much rather stick to "bad writing" than "intentional character choice" in terms of how to interpret the scene I guess, at this point, for poor Rook's sake. and i know people disagree with when I've said that before bc as much as I love Mary Kirby in other areas, she has said many times that she doesn't like writing romance, and I think it really does show here. As much as I love Lucanis and the scraps we got I wish I didn't have to do so much filling-in-the-blanks on our own.
#like... ive been trying for weeks to come up with reasoning that feels better than “He Is Faking It And Rook Believed It (What A Sucker)”#so far i think. with a lot of extra work/headcanon.#i could buy it as a trauma response about it being the first non-harmful touch he experiences since the ossuary#and not expecting himself to get anxious halfway through/not intending to need to bail out#but i haven't fully formulated that yet. but man does the “pretending” angle hit wrong for me :(#fine if other people like it! it just makes me feel sad :(#ramblings#lucanisposting#lucanis dellamorte#jade plays dav#dav critical#veilguard critical#bioware critical#discovered i have already been Blocked by ppl for my previous Lucanis Takes so might as well cement the deal i guess lol#dragon age: veilguard /#dragon age: the veilguard /#datv spoilers#da4 spoilers#i THINK that kind of tagging works for keeping out of tags but on post filtering???? i hope. anyway#also i LOVE being Sad about bioware romances in other ways (Solas; Thane; etc) so its not Just That its specifically feeling Tricked yknow
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
emotional motion sickness
General g/n headcanons; mentions of abuse dynamics in relationships, talks of physical, emotional, and mental abuse, if these topics trigger you please dont read
so I'll start with the idea of being on earth with Jimmy, I'd like to imagine that curly set you two up, hoping that you'd rub off on him
Your first date you meet and you're charmed by him, he's a sarcastic, flirty, handsome man with a sense of humor (albeit a dry sense of humor)
people like Jimmy are VERY charming and can pretend to be a certain person to draw you in. Then slowly up the ante until you feel trapped
He starts off cute, comes a little late to dates, clothes wrinkled, flowers bent. But hes apologetic and you cant help but feel bad for him
As you get deeper into the relationship the faults start to show.
Maybe a year or so in he starts asking about friends. Nothing too dramatic just an occasional "who's that?"
And at first its cute! He's just worried and protective. But it slowly gets more and more controlling.
One of the first things an abuser will do is isolate you to make it hard to leave them. so he asks you to stop talking to a few people, coworkers or group project friends.
if you question it he will get very intense very fast and uestion why your so hesitant to cut them off.
"is there something your not telling me?" He asks, he had both arms caging you down onto your armchair, his body leaned down to look at you closely. "No!" You exclaim sitting up as best you can with him so close, "I just think it's weird you suddenly aren't ok with me and danny talking anymore!" He laughs but it holds no humor if the look on his face is anything to go by "I know you probably didn't notice but he's constantly flirting with you, he obviously wants to fuck you." you begin to mentally look over your conversations in your head, had he? Was there something you missed? Something misinterpreted? "Really?" You ask, doubting if you really should be talking to a man who liked you while in a relationship. "yes! that's why I don't want you talking to him, he's trying to take advantage of you." you sigh before nodding "yeah, sorry I... didn't even realize" "its fine" he says softly holding the back of your head to lead you into a kiss "I just want to keep you safe".
so you bite and agree, you slowly begin to cut less important people out. As you do he'll pavlov you, with each friend you pick off he'll love bomb you. kisses, hugs, gifts, sex, sweet talk, pet names, bragging about you. He'll play into whatever you want as long as you follow his rules.
When it comes to the biggest hitters like family, close circle friends, and best friends he'll wait a few years to cut them out
He'll plant ideas of a us vs them mentality.
they just want to break us apart.
they're jealous of us.
your too good for them.
they don't treat you right.
they're the abusers.
i'm the only one who REALLY loves you
and after so many years with him, despite your ups and downs you cant help but do what he says because you just don't see him as this horrible monster everyone's making him out to be.
you love him and he loves you!
people just don't understand your dynamic,
they don't know him like you do.
when it's bad its bad but when it's good its so damn good.
and his lonely act works well too, besides curly he doesn't really have any friends.
he has acquaintances and coworkers, but friends? no.
if you broke up with him he'd have no one. and you've been together so long it'd be such a jump. going from deep conversations and intense love to asking about a person's favorite color? fuck that.
when he has you were he wants you that's when all hell breaks loose.
you barely go anywhere and if you do he either needs your location the whole time (probably makes you get life360) or has to be with you, hand on hip, glaring at anyone who talks to you.
when you two get invited to parties he'll play nice (after all he is in public) and let you roam.
you'll talk to people you haven't in a bit while he drinks and talks to curly.
and its times like that that makes the worst moments feel worth it.
speaking of the worst moments.....he's a very jealous person, he constantly is worried if you're cheating on him.
he'll argue with you and wont relent till your crying and exhausted.
then once he thinks you've proved yourself he'll scoop you up and let you cry on his shoulder. murmuring that he loves you and he sorry.
he'll open up, say he knows there's something wrong with him, and he's sorry hes like this, that you deserve better and he's trying.
"I'm sorry" Jimmy softly says into your ear. cradling you like a baby in his arms. your arms are around his neck, your eyes burn with drying tears and sleep, your nose is stuffy, your throat is dry from yelling and sobbing for hours. the rocking isn't helping your sleepiness. "I'm sorry, I know there's something wrong with me. Please don't leave me"
trying to leave in these situations is probably the worst thing you could do
now I'm not under the impression that Jimmy would be overly physically abusive given that his character is all about the subtleties of abuse.
BUT! I do believe he'd restrain you, push you, grab you harder than needed, ect. If you tried to leave him while arguing.
He doesn't like you taking control of the situation and it gets him very mad, as a result he'll force you to stay where he wants.
But he doesn't explicitly hit you as that would leave marks
he wouldn't want you to be bruised because that would bring suspicion to the safety of your relationship.
And most of the relationships abuse is kept to a level that could pass as normal to others.
I think having a friend like curly in these moments that always tries to smooth things over without any bridge burning would definitely lead to him unintentionally gaslighting you about it.
side note: ok this is the first time I've really written in this format, made a romantic x reader, AND this is also my first time posting x reader onto Tumblr lol. apologies if this is ooc I never refreshed myself on Jimmy's character simply bc I don't have the time for that lol. this is also based off of my general knowledge of abusive relationships. if anyone wants more plz let me know i really wanted to try writing fanfiction seriously for a while now lmao, bye :)
49 notes
·
View notes
Note
Given how Jinx said that Vi deserved Caitlyn, it's sort of a way of the loose cannon complimenting the future Sheriff. What are your thoughts on Jinx and Caitlyn's relationship post Arcane?
post arcane? im still torn. i dont know if jinx will ever re-introduce herself to the girls again. my brain feverishly comes up with post canon scenarios and headcanons, and i try to get jinx somewhat re-incorporated in them, but i come short every time. even if jinx shows remorse for her actions, i cant see a future where caitlyn accepts her back into her life. the pain she caused her is too big, nothing jinx will ever do would make things even a little bit bearable between them. jinx knows this- this is why she chose to let vi go.
i do see a future of jinx maybe fully understanding how much pain she caused, and feeling remorse for it. we see the beginning of that in act 3. and i think she would probably think of caitlyn the most, cause hurting her caused pain to vi, and ultimately "cost" her vi.
caitlyn for her part will try to keep her personal feelings regarding jinx concealed, espeacially when vi grieves her. but it will always be a tense topic for them, there's no way around it.
if jinx ends up showing up again, maybe to see vi after a few years have passed, i can see vi desperately trying to get the 2 to just be together in the same space, so she can have the bliss of having the 2 people she loves the most with her at the same time- but that is futile thinking. both jinx and cait would do as vi asks of them, and will sit across from each other and try to make conversation, but that would be the most awkward, painful exchange you'd ever see in your life. vi will have to accept that she can't force that fantasy of a happy family onto them.
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
anyway got confirmation i can do maths and philosophy next year thank fuck that is such a weight off my shoulders
#well still haven't told myparents but im thinking i may actually wait til im back in england then text them#dont think i can have that conversation in person
0 notes
Text
physically disabled person: hi
every abled neurodivergent person in the whole world: Hi I know this isn't about autism but I have executive dysfunction and I really think we should talk about that more not to derail or anything I just wanted to share my experience :) don't forget that not all disabilities are visible! I have anxiety and depression and this explains sooo much!
#wrenfea.exe#please just...learn when its not about you#can we have one goddamn conversation without the comments being filled with people like this#was watching a video reviewing an aid for physically disabled people and the comments were 90% about neurodivergence#and if you politely tell people to knock it off they say you're invalidating their struggles and being ableist and gatekeepihn#like i had to dig through all those comments to find some from actually physically disabled people so i could see what they thought#because i was trying to figure out if itd work for me#idc if you dont like it bc it gives you anxiety the product wasn't made for you!!!#chronic disability#chronic pain#disabilities#cpunk#cripplepunk#angry cripple#also before anyone dogpiles me im saying everyone in the world to give a sense of just how many comments theres seems to be#not that i think every neurodivergent person is like this (im neurodivergent)#chronic illness#physically disabled#mobility aids
280 notes
·
View notes
Note
You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.
-Shrimp Anon
The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.
Get ready cause this is a yap session:
Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.
I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.
The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.
This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.
Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...
These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.
I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.
Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.
It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.
I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.
It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.
There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.
End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.
#i also think it is because mouthwashing is first and foremost a game about rape culture and the patriarchy especially in work spaces#regarding women and centering conversation around Curly a man rubs people wrong because it does overshadow that commentary#but it still mixes other topics into its initial theming and message on how abuse conditions you to accept certain things that are harmful#and how getting used to a culture/enviornment does not mean you are happy healthy or most importantly safe in it. I personally like to#explore those aspects where it mixes all the themes so we can discuss the ways you have to watch out for things because there is a differen#in the idea Curly enabled Jimmy just because they were bros and because he was an example of another man afraid to step out from what#is a still oppressive system that does try to punish those who act against it even if they fall in the category of those who would benefit#from it as Jimmy and PE 100% represent that sort of misogynistic system where men that would be “good” are altered until they follow line#in a way both on the personal and professional level as PE is the corporate lock out and Jimmy represents the social and its just the issue#that the discussion of it sounds like “in defense of men” when I am more so trying to discuss how it is much deeper than men being scared t#upset other men but complacency is rewarded by not becoming another person subjugated hence as all the moments Curly does try to do#something we can tie it back to how Jimmy reacts and a possible penality from PE where we now need to address the ways to combat those#two concepts so we dont get cases like Curly or Daisuke or Swansea where male avoidance of the issue is considered neutral or even good.#i think most of this boils down the perfect victim mentality to where if someone who underwent or is being abused is not a perfect example#or accpetible type than their abuse can not be considered a valid or substantial reason for effects on their behavior compounded with the#fact that Anya's abuse at the hands of Jimmy is a systematic issue that Curly is a part of even if unwillingly and was more physically#violating and topical cause sometimes i have to remind myself that all media is still critiqued through the lens of the culture it came out#in cause i do think about what if this game came out inlike 2014 like the conversations would be sooooooo different could you imagine it?#but back the before statement Curly isn't perfect but I feel like boiling it down if hes a good person or man is not the point of the game#but more so good people can still be part of the problem and the idea of condemning a person for one act creates a false sense of#rightouesness and justice that does not aid the victim and in fact aids the abusers in escaping blame for their mulitple behaviors as we se#how the men on the ship tend to blame Jimmy for just one act against them including himself while there is a plethora of things Anya is#concerned about with Jimmy#and its not that Curly just made one mistake with Jimmy but more so we consider his actions more damning because he didn't stop Jimmy#instead of focusing on the fact Jimmy did what he did regardless of Curly and the consequence because we already know he's bad n maladjuste#which is problem in the conversation where the individuals are blamed but the system and perputrator are overlooked in a sense of acceptiab#complacency as we know how they are and the lack of tangibility to personally affect them on a larger scale like I should just make a post#on like cutting out the face when it comes it confronting systems of oppression rather than tag talking but just ask me to clarify if#you want that like im jus trying to say we avoid talking about Jimmy and PE so much cause it is obvious what they do wrong that we make#the initial and inherent problem out to be one aspect someone in this case Curly does and the the constraints they use to force actions
309 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think i just need to express that the culture surrounding QPRs right now made me think that i couldn't have strong bonds with my friends. Society told me i cant have strong bonds with friends because that was only for romantic relationships. Then i went into aro spaces and this idea was reinforced using QPRs instead of romantic relationships. it was "You can still have strong bonds with people without romance! It can just be a QPR instead!" "QPRs are MORE than friendship so you can have STRONGER BONDS than you would with friends."
it made me think that the relationships i wanted with my friends HAD to be something other than friendship for it to be as strong as i wanted. If i wanted to be the first person in someones life i had to enter some sort of committed relationship. if I wanted someone to care about me as strongly as i did them then it would have to be a relationship that was "more" than friendship.
I thought I wanted a QPR because i was told the only way to get that care and security that I wanted was to enter into a relationship that was "more" than friendship. because friends didn't care that much. because friends didn't live together their entire lives. because friends were never the priority relationship wise. and it took me years to realize that i didn't want any partnership and i shouldn't have to be in one to want these things from a friend. these things CAN be something friends can do. but i found that out on my own. because the aro community kept saying "you want a QPR" when i just wanted a friend who finally saw me as a priority in their life.
#text#personal#aro#aromantic#aroace#aspec#qpr#queerplatonic relationships#queer platonic relationships#tbh i was around when qprs were still getting footing. ppl werent sure how to properly label them#so to avoid allos saying it's just friends the common response was 'its more than friends but less than romance'#as if they were trying to justify it's existence as if we had to have a equivalent to romance to be justified in our identities and as ppl#because being aro made you not be a person. because how can you be a person if you dont love or have a partner#because being aro was sad because being aro meant ou were alone and you shouldn't want to be alone!!#and these ideas made it so that amatonormativity was just reinforced in aro spaces#and it isn't until recent years when amatonormativity started getting used top put a name to the problem#that i really saw ppl start standing up for aros who didnt partner because why are we expected to partner anyways?#shouldnt ppl be whole as they are?#and this is only my experience im not saying this happens everywhere#but this is why i think we need to have a conversation about QPRs and how they are used in aro spaces#because im not the only one who struggled through this#my experience may not be universal but my experience has happened to others#and thats worth talking about#srry im having a lot of thoughts recently
1K notes
·
View notes
Photo
studies from the finale
#nicholas d wolfwood#meryl stryfe#trigun#trigun stampede#honestly the grand highlight.#anyway i think i ... drained all my thoughts of ep12 on saturday. i was like... all day drawing stuff for that episode and then circling#those thoughts but mainly#im just excited for season 2. im so so excited for s2. AND IM EXCITED FOR.. all of the steady appearance of trimax stuff again#like when they recited quote to quote of vash and knives conversation when they were on their way up to space#the i'll keep running and after 150 years this is what you have to say godddddd#GODDDDDD i felt so much in that moment. GODDDDDDD#IM REALLY EXCITED... because i dont know what to necessarily expect from s2 too. there is a LOT of setup that happened in s1 and it#will fundamentally change how we view the characters and their relationships to one another i think? especially the main trio and#and and and and MILLLLYYYYYYYY GAHHHHHHHH IM SO EXCITED FOR HER!!! MILLY!!!!!! we all knew she was coming back. it was only natural.#i really hope they keep as Much as they can from the original design. ESPECIALLY HER PERSONALITY. god. do not take away her personality. and#do not take away her bigness i will CRY. but overall im happy the og 4 are going to be back and theyll be closer than before bc of all they#experienced together.... and ahhhh everything with knives... vash and his eriks arc....#im rambling again but there's obviously a lot of hype there...eughh eughehu i love trigun so much i love love love love trigun#ruporas art
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
starbee comic,,, if u get the reference then u understand a pivotal part of how i see their dynamic
Bee x scream is like if that one rlly bubbly & makes herself seem ditzy and cute girl to everyone to have friends who'll dump her the moment they get a bf & she's probably on the spectrum but no one notices or cares to delve deeper into her bcs she's so 'cute' & smiles & masks to be liked ( bcs she doesnt want anyone to delve deeper into her personality & realize shes actually Not perfect miss lil daddys girl purity ring ) was forced to be stuck with The Bitchtm intimidating weird girl who's also undiagnosed but everyone knows there's Something with her & treated her differently in a way they Think is discreet but She Knows & no matter how hard she tries, everyone's gonna have this Undertone with her so she's just given up on trying to seem pleasant to everyone but still desperately wants to be loved & has a slight clue as to why ppl keep hating her even when she tries for them not to for once but still can't get an answer bcs her life sucks and diagnosis is expensive and she has no time and she's - omg why is this bitch (bee) making her notes all cute with big colorful fonts & organized by alphabetical shade marker collection haha she's so weird (<- is Also weird bcs hes starscream). im gonna ask to borrow one of her favorite markers (the baby blue one) and dry it out while she stares at me with big wet eyes trying to find a polite way to put 'im gonna kill you' in a sentence
#bee instantly introduces himself to a new person bcs hes thrilled at the idea of molding his own perfect image in#a clueless person's mind and purposefully hangs out with ppl who are worse off than him so he can focus#on helping their problems rather than focusing on his own & also it helps him feel like a Good Mech#bcs hes just SO NICE. RIGHT ?#meanwhile star instantly introduces himself as a powerful bitch rather than a helping hand#so ppl know to back tf off and respect order and if they dont respect order than at least theyll try not to hang around#but he also hangs around worse ppl to feel better abt himself except it's not a secret but what Is secret is how he#wishes he didnt always have to scare off nice ppl bcs hes sxared of breaking their sparks bcs it'll inevitably happen bcs hes Starscream#idk tho maybe im insane#bag u a bitch that say yepperooni#bumblebee#starscream#im like insane abt these two but like in an insane not quirky im so different way but like the wtf made u think that#way that i cant explain normally bcs im not normal abt them#starbee#transformers#maccadam#transformers idw#tf idw#need moots that love starbee like im not used to being in big fandoms.. im used to tightknit lil followers who all reblog the same 5 posts#bcs theyre all insane abt it & wanna have a conversation like i love funny tags over 100+ likes any day#pls dont be afraid to yap in tags comments or asks like i love yapp look at me I LOOOVEEE YAPPPP
54 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sorry I forgot Hanneman suggested Byleth undress after they show up with a different hair color. And I miss Hanneman. And also while swapping between Houses and Hopes and seeing Hanneman pop up to help in a Hopes paralogue is just devastating since he doesn't ever actually join you at all and I am denied my old man rights.
So I had to draw this. Thank you for understanding.
#fe three houses#byleth#hanneman von essar#i like that Byleth just kinda stares at him and he realizes WHAT HE SAID and the implications and is like#step back uh forget that I said that#like man so zoned in on research he blurts that out and has to backtrack mentally to AH socially bad to say that my bad#if i need to tag this as anything lemme know even though it is a conversation in game basically (minus the marriage)#also if you have never married hanneman i genuinely enjoyed his s support and was VERY surprised and hes just#honestly one of my favorites overall in 3h ?? and im still bummed i cant play as him in thropes like thats just mean#also i think if byleth was like oh well if its awkward to see someone undress randomly#then marriage would solve the awkwardness this is truly the best deduction#which is really funny that i can see it happening with both leths despite my hc of them#with fyleth as bi and myleth as ace i think both would just be like AH cool we can avoid awkwardness by marriage#and hanneman just wants to go lie down in a ditch because he said something like that#and and byleth doesnt even know about religion while working at church school they dont know about school regulations#that wasnt really on their mind to check ok just saying you could tell byleth no to something#and then they just go oh school policies i understand unfortunately#and the person is like no we just meant its frowned upon to do archery practice in the tea garden its not technically illegal just dont??
185 notes
·
View notes
Text
juvie buddies
#alek art#td duncan#td mal#total drama#total drama all stars#(if i want to get technical)#2024#duncan is around 15 here... mal is around 16#ive thought really hard about them these past few days . in my brain they actually knew each other and canon is different#duncan and mike got along really well. in juvie mal refused to speak to anyone about anything and would fight as many people as he could .#he wanted to stay in there and far away from home . they get roomed together and duncan is the first person who mal can talk to . he isnt#scared of him . he relates to him a lot . like -> wow we both act out for attention and people think we are terrible because of it#duncan being a mentally ill teenager seeing mal an also very mentally ill teenager thought 'i can fix him' . mike and duncan speak too here#i cant really see anyone else fronting besides those two . their brain was on lockdown and mike wanted out so bad . i see manitoba as a#gatekeeper so hed handle some sessions with their psych. i want to say they (duncan and mike) get moved to a psyche ward just because#i have more knowledge on being in one and how it goes ... but yeah i like duncan mal a lot . this art isnt ship whatsoever though 🙏 i dont#see them as a couple their dynamic is just better as friends imo#but anyways in all stars they obviously recognize each other but have an unspoken agreement not to say anything abt it#duncan is a known criminal but mike isnt like that . mike hadnt even told zoey about that part of his life . so duncan wanted to respect his#privacy -> then mal starts hurting people and he has to step in . mal isnt a good person by any means but i dont think he was that bad in#juvie . so duncan had to come to terms that his friend wasnt the same person he was years ago (in all stars duncan is ~18 and i think mike#is almost 20... so it had been a while since they last talked)#them getting each other like no other and being in pain because they couldnt really speak . i see them having a conversation still in moon#madness abt their past and history . god i just think abt them and their wasted potential wdym mike and duncan were in juvie together#duncan was in for trespassing or destruction of private property or something really dumb . mal fought his parent(s) and got in for assault#mal was already in when duncan was placed . and duncan was let out early on good behavior + his parents (dad) mostly did it to teach him a#lesson . wrong of them or otherwise . so mal was just kinda stuck there until they realized he was actually not right in the head . think he#knew abt their DID but was only diagnosed in juvie and had to go from there . tbh he shouldve been tried as an adult but td logic . doesnt#matter dw guys . mike gets the 'was put on random meds that made him go braindead' treatment bc that was me . post mental hospital abilify#had me messed up
106 notes
·
View notes
Text
i feel like im obligated to remind everyone that the time we see the characters spend with saiki on screen isnt the ONLY time they spend together,,, i just see a lot of people take their screen time very literally and assume that this is the case despite it being heavily implied that it isnt, and im not entirely sure why but i can guess that it may be because of the assumption that saiki genuinely hates his friends (i do also see people doing this with specific characters they dont like or that they have a specific agenda for, which i think is them being like "i feel a certain way about them, therefore saiki the narrator who gave me all the information that made me feel this way about them must not like them" which i dont really have a problem with (its just an hc) until they start arguing with people that their hc is the only right answer and saiki canonically hates that person or is only around them when forced to be LOL)
yumehara and teruhashi immediately recognize "kurikos" eating manner as saikis despite us never seeing him eat in front of them, kaido + nendo + kuboyasu bribe saiki for his homework with coffee jelly because they know hes obsessed with it despite us seeing no on-screen reason for them to know that (we do see a bit later that he walks home with them every day and he stares at coffee jelly every single time though LOL), and mera talks about saiki spending a lot of money at her workplace despite us only seeing her and him there at the same time once before..
saiki does not succeed at avoiding them, and in fact is probably not even trying to most of the time LMAO he loves those idiots. dearly.
the people i see the least true implications of him spending off-screen time with are actually, weirdly enough, the other two psychics. this doesnt necessarily mean to take that at face value and assume he DOESNT spend as much time with them, but its interesting i feel... please correct me if im wrong though cuz i would love to see more examples of these kinds of implications, for any characters actually!
#the thing about people doing this with specifically characters they dislike or just have a certain agenda they like to preach for them-#can come off as very silly at times although i dont rlly see too much of an issue with it cuz like i said its just personal interpretation#its just that sometimes its. very obvious.#people do it with nendo which.. is just funny cuz saiki canonically walks home with him and kaido every single day#and probably MOST of those days they go out to eat together#that little trio + sometimes kuboyasu spend SO MUCH TIME TOGETHER#anywayyy i honestly do think kusuo makes more of a real attempt to avoid the other psychics#not because he doesnt like them but because. they know him. yk what i mean ?#theyre the only people he can go to for help when he needs it and he TRUSTS them but at the same time or even BECAUSE of that- it scares hi#m#thats a wholeee other conversation though im just providing exposition#and i could be wrong#just a thought just a comment just a theory just a headcanon just a concern#someone tell me !! give me examples if u have any pleaseee !!#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
54 notes
·
View notes
Text
THE (CATHOLIC) SCHOOL I (UNWILLINGLY) GO TO HAD AN ASSEMBLY ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH TODAY AND??? THEY SHOWED A VIDEO OF MARKIPLIER???
THE SPEAKER DOING THE PRESENTATION CLICKED TO THE SLIDE WITH THE VIDEO ON IT AND MY BRAIN JUST BUFFERED
SHE WAS LIKE "Have any of you ever heard of Markiplier before?" AND I WAS LIKE ???????????
#yes#i know hes like#famous#or whatever#but i didnt think famous = being brought up in an assembly at my catholic school#it was a video of him talking about mental health and about having conversations about it#so it fit the subject matter#but it was still so weird#i mean she was a guest speaker#and also a pretty good one too???#like i will admit i went into it with low expectations#because my school doesn't have a great history with how they treat mental health#but the information she was giving was actually good and she didn't sugarcoat or gloss over things#and she didnt treat depression like its just “being sad” or like depression is the only thing that can affect a person's mental health#she also had support resources and one of them was the trevor project??#which was very very pleasantly surprising to see#i dont know if our school admin knew she was going to include that#either way it made me happy to see#but overall i'm still baffled at hearing the words “have any of you ever heard of markiplier before” at my school#markiplier#i don't really know what else to tag this as tbh
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
i hate that the sonic movies get more advertising and attention from the general public than other sonic media does for a number of reasons but one thing that is particularly annoying to me right now is that because of this when a new sonic game or comic or cartoon or literally anything else that im actually excited for happens nobody seems to notice or care that it exists but now that the big new sonic thing (sonic 3) is something that im not really looking forward to at all im constantly being asked and told about it.. like come onnnnn
#talking about irl interactions not online. in case thats not already obvious#like. i know nobody has actual bad intentions . most of these people do not know enough about the games#to know that the movie is looking like its going to completely butcher the plot of sa2 and that im mad about it#and i dont think anyone irl really knows all the details of my increasingly strained relationship with the scu either#they just know that i love sonic . or even that i liked the first 2 movies depending on who they are . and a new sonic movie is coming out#and im not upset they try to talk to me about sonic i LOVE talking about sonic#but its so frustrating that people seem to only care when the scu is involved. even if they dont actually watch the movies anyway???#and it doesnt end at people only bringing up sonic when its the scu#ive also had many conversations where i mention a game or comic or something and the person im talking to makes it about the movies#like (*mentions i like sonic* ''have you seen the movies''. or *mentions a new sonic thing* ''is it related to the movies'' etc)#like come onnnn we were talking about the games can we talk about the games in a way that doesnt involve the movies for Once#again i know nobody has bad intentions so i feel kinda bad for being annoyed#and its not entirely their fault since a video game or comic is inherently going to be less known than a big movie . but goddddd#this happened a bit with the knuckles series too but not to the same extent that its happening wiht sonic 3
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
well that's just a lie
#ash plays bg3#bg3#gale#gale dekarios#personal#look. im used to the way he looks now. im cool with it. but she shouldnt be!#this was an interesting conversation tho. i know ive been leaning into him following his own ambitions but--#the dialogue options along those lines are becoming a lot more direct in a way that doesnt quite fit with how im playing#the gale that im playing isnt going around pronouncing that he's gonna take over the world (because that's not what he's actually planning)#so im not completely sure how to play this. i saved before so i can go through it a few times to work out what i want to say#(ftr i have no qualms at all about reloading in this game. i dont feel bad in the slightest. im playing this game for fun)#ultimately i dont think it matters too much what i say here unless i choose some really extreme options. which isnt my plan anyway#but it's important to me. im enjoying the roleplay aspect#it's also pretty funny that ive only had one long rest since the one where i fucked the emperor. i should be able to tell her that lmao#like hey yeah a lot's happened since we last spoke#but anyway if you say you're gonna take the crown yourself she says 'if it doesnt crush you i will' which is fun#gonna stick with the 'im not sure' option. and all my companions are saying such nice things to me about it :')#except wyll and jaheira. come on guys#and lae'zel but that's because she's been kidnapped so. rip. should probably make that a priority but i like progressing main quests LAST
17 notes
·
View notes