#dont mind me i just wanted to answer all of them
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I would like to ask if the creepypastas know what happened to each other? Like do Tim and Brian know what happened in Tobyâs and Kateâs childhood/past? And if they do know how did they find out?
some do!! this kinda half-assed answers your question cuz i included all 16, so its kinda difficult to cover everyone neatly!
for kate... i dont think anyone but toby and MAYBE clocky/nina would know what happened to her. she doesnt want to talk about it at all, and toby would only find out by connecting the dots of random stuff shes said.
i think toby is pretty open about what happened to him. he'd be very quick to make jokes or casually be like "yea i got the shit bullied out of me". so people are familiar, HOWEVER i dont think a lot of them really understand how bad it was for him bc hes so casual with it. i think tim and brian probably caught toby losing him mind, having nightmares, screaming and he'd be like "you dont get it you dont fucking know the shit that happened to me" etc etc. with clocky or kate or EJ, he'd be SLIGHTLY more vulnerable. tell them about lyra and connie, but he's just uncomfortable with that stuff
tim wouldnt really want to talk about his childhood or everything he lost either. i think he'd only bring it up with toby in the event that toby needed comfort, or something to ground/relate to (i.e hospital visits, schizophrenia, loss) OR if someone implies tim has it better than them. then he's like WHAT the fuck do you think you know about me. otherwise he rather not.
brian is pretty similar. he just doesnt wanna talk about it. brushes things off pretty easily, tries to joke about it, or he says something like "it sucked but im here now. gotta keep pushing, why dwell". . .
clockwork keeps that shit to her chest. the most she'd bring up is like "yea i grew up poor, dad was a nutcase, i dont wanna talk about my brother" or implying other people have it easier than she did (which is true 90% of the time. she had it rough). i think only toby and nina would get a better idea of what really happened to her, but she just doesnt like to think about it. itd be a similar case where they catch her having a panic attack or nightmare and she chokes something out .
nina spills everything she doesnt really care. she likes to talk and share and spill her guts, so everyone is pretty familiar with all her ex boyfriends, workaholic parents, getting bullied, whatever. shes a bit more hesitant to bring up certain things that SHE'S done (cheating, cyberstalking, self harm, etc) but she'll happily share times she was a victim to others
EJ would share about his family very freely, and i think if someone asked, he'd tell them about jenny. so i guess it just depends on who cares to ask ? toby, clocky, maybe tim/brian would. jeff and ben might ask like "hey why are you ugly now" and he would not tell them . cuz he needs whoever he tells to ask genuinely and treat it seriously
similar to nina, jeff just yaps and yaps and goes off about how hard he had it (completely warping the story and lying half the time). so he'll just bring it up to brag or compare or compete or prove a point, but its never done very.. vulnerably?
ben doesnt talk about any of it. most of the group knows, because his case (yk, 13 yr old boy kidnapped and murdered amongst several other young teens..) got really big and everyone kinda talked about it without him. he doesnt want pity or to think about it. he'd only bring it up with sally, i think, cuz he feels a bit more seen by her
sally would only tell jane and clocky. i genuinely cant see a reason she'd ever bring it up to anyone else, and those two are the only ones she'd trust (and mary but marys not that big in my au)
jane tells people pretty openly, because she was a victim of jeffs stalking. she tries to make her story more...inspirational? because after all her pain and loss, she still went to law school and all of that. or if someone tries to diminish her pain, she'd be like 'watch your mouth.' i think she'd tell nina and liu. for nina, it'd be like "you dont even care do you? you still love that man after everything? how can you look me in the eye, knowing all he's done, and tell me you idolize him?" and for liu it would be more about like. closure maybe? part of her resents liu even though it was NOT his fault whatsoever and he's also a victim, but shes mature enough to try and navigate the trauma WITH him despire her pain
for liu its kinda similar, but nothing is inspirational. he would tell people because for him, its how he connects to people. connecting on trauma, even if its not the healthiest way. . . if someone asks, he tells them. its kinda sad the way he talks about jeff though. 'i just miss pushing my little brother on the swing'
dina screams and screams at everyone about "YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IVE LOST" because she was held in such a idolized position in her cult. she hates lazari and she blames everyone else because she thinks they have something to do with the devil(zalgo) and thats why god doesnt want her anymore.
lazari would cry to EJ about her nightmares of her mom, but i dont think she'd talk about it with others. it just makes her sad. maybe she'd tell jeff cuz he'd be asking and then He'd belike oh. jeez. ok. LOL. that sucks.
lulu doesnt really remember what happens to her, but everyone has an idea. she mumbles about hazing, how cold the water is, how she doesnt wanna drink again, how the sorority girls are so mean, she just wants to go back to her dorm, whatever. but its just because shes so lost in her mind
ann is more like ... sassy . brags about her redroom business and whatnot, complains about the man who killed her, gets all sultry about kate saving her from her big bad killer, whatever. but she doesnt talk about her family or how she was a femcel neet.
#asks#creeped#oh god its been so long since ive made a post like this LOL#missed it#i dont wanan tag this#creepypasta au#crp au
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Pet store clerk gives Charles a bag of free treats for his ""dog"" all while Charles can feel Erik Looming in the BG
the real mortifying day is after months of getting small bags of dog treats one day the bag of dog treats has like. perfectly normal human candies/pastries or something inside
Of Course charles is confused and impulsively asks what it is/how it's different from the usual only for the clerk to reply theyre Whatever Erik's Favorite Treat Is and its that day forward erik is adamant they just do their shopping online
#snap chats#clerk fully provides this information straight faced. by the way. and still pointing out those are for âââââThe Dogââââââââ#inviting all of you to assume the three of them became Vaguely Acquainted while charles and erik were fran shopping#like you know how you just happen to do small talk while at the store. at least five months of accidental small talk has led to this moment#'oh yeah i know these are his favorite- [Insert Food Here] right' and charles doesnt have to turn around or probe eriks mind#to know he's itching to leave the store but he cant just do that lest he validate this clerks suspicions#charles absolutely wants to try to laugh it off and tell the clerk he cant give these to his dog but the clerk Just Stares#they dont gotta say anything else ... charles dont gotta read their mind ... he wont argue he'll just swallow his shame and take the goods#anyways ... if anyone needs me ... im gonna succumd to the 3PM nap#i almost made it to 4 but alas ... i am sleepy ... then im gonna work SO im done answering asks for the evening#maybe ill answer some more tonight but i really have to focus. after my nap BYYYYEEEE#im gonna giggle about this new scenario tho ... Cherik Pet Shenanigans Somehow Getting Goofier Than Previously Thought#will have to do more thinkings of that down the line .... for now nap time đ´ cause i repeat i am five years old đ´
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Do you think loop can just chill underwater due to not needing to breathe. Do you think they swim with the fishies.
I'm honestly unsure bc like the thing is Loop does breathe?
The latter example with Loop struggling to breathe in a high stress situation (murder) makes me think breathing is at least reflexive, either as a biological function or a stress management function, but we don't know if they NEED to breathe or not. The details of their organs are not at all given and we don't know through what orifice or pore or possible opening via the neck or something concealed within the head allows them to draw in air. My personal headcanon is Loop still needs to draw in air to keep burning (as for their fuel...I'd go with Wish Craft as a source of energy bc the alternative is "Loop is burning out with no method of absorbing food," which is sad) but like given Siffrin touches their head in the It's Thanks To You scene it's probably not literal fire. But I think it's fun if their insides work on fire rules anyways lol.
So my answer is.... I dunno! Maybe! Or maybe not! Pick an answer that is more fun to you anon
#notdailies#asks#SORRY FOR NOT ANSWERING i just honestly think trying to speculate on loop's biology#is really fun but also not at all productive if you want hard answers#isat spoilers#also dont mind the ??? in the screenshot it's from the intro before loop reveals their name.#tell me in the replies section if it's obnoxious but the game does label them ??? in the dialogue box so
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Thinking about a Durge who has rejected Bhaal, and whatever person they used to be, but still secretly longs for their lost memories. A Durge that, despite the answers the man could give them, would never re-ignite that strange passion they were shown they once had for Gortash. A Durge that has, for all purposes to the others in their party, moved on. A Durge that, six months after that day atop the Netherbrain, at a party celebrating their new life, receives a strange letter with an even stranger gadget hidden inside.
The meeting at the inauguration was a strange one. Despite Gortash's very obvious elation at seeing what he'd called his 'dearest friend', the man had no hesitation very proudly detailing the Dark Urge's grand scheme; their grand design for the world to be.
In front of all their friends and 'new' lover, of course.
They were furious, and rightly so. Gortash must have known what he was doing. To isolate them, to bring them back to him. The person who accepted them for all they were, all they are, and all they could be - together.
It wasn't enough to win the Dark Urge back to him, and although they'd tentatively teamed up in the end - he had died. Not by the Urge's hand, but in some ways, his own. The group had left Gortash's body within the Prism, and simply moved on. There were bigger problems, and no one really was sad to see him go. Right?
The Urge remembers a letter found in Moonrise Towers. Gortash liked gadgets, according to Ketheric. Evidence was abundant enough with the Steel Watchers, among other things. The item is strangely shaped, entirely too small, and with a simple touch, comes to life.
It reminds them of the strange picture they had seen at the Iron Throne. Gortash's visage shone through a glass, moving, talking - warning them to leave. Answering them, praising them for listening.
What a strange contraption, they'd thought all those months ago.
And then, now, there he was again. A picture, in their hand. A moving picture. Speaking with his voice, wearing his weary face - so, so weary - but not the same as before.
This had passed already. The voice did not answer them this time. It was simply impossible - the man was dead, but not quite gone in this moment.
He speaks of the inauguration like it had just happened. His joy at seeing his favourite 'assassin' again, which he says with a sad smile and a moment of silence. A heavy sigh follows, rubbing at his eyes - which they can see are so much darker than they last remember.
He is tired.
Gortash speaks of their time together, before Orin - and how Orin torments him day and night now that they had both confirmed the Urge's return. She appears with their face, taunting him some days. Other days she sends assassins that wear the same, and he simply cannot let his guard down anymore. But he knew it was them that day.
They can see the exhaustion that pulls down his features, makes his words heavier. This is not the Archduke speaking to him in this moment - it is a tired, broken down man that has just seen a ghost.
Yet they cling to every word anyway, because even though this is a broken down man who is terrified of the ghost - the man still hopes the ghost will remember him, too.
They don't. But he doesn't know that, not this little picture of him, anyway.
The picture says that if they are seeing this recording, it means he is already dead - and although he had planned to sway them back to his side, he may not have been given the chance, and refuses to allow the opportunity to share what the two of them once had slip away.
He would gift unto them the memories that he could, even beyond death. The bloody ones, the happy ones, the painful ones.
And he talks, he smiles, he even cries.
And so do they.
#durgetash#dark urge x gortash#i dont usually write gushy things but i am trying to write fic of this i need to yell a bit#this has been sitting in my drafts i release it to the world now#dont look at me im cringe#i just think that my own dark urge would always long for their memories despite withers's warnings and#knows that gortash is the only person who could give it to them and selfishly sides with him because of it#and when gortash dies he knows all is lost. and accepts it. he has a new life now. its okay. (its not okay)#and when they see that funky lil thing in the letter They Know. They KNOW it's from That man#and there's a moment of hesitation as those words from withers flash in their mind again but nope fuck it. selfishness wins.#and even though the man was a monster - they were once eachother's monsters and - there are his answers. some of them anyway.#and he can finally let go of that : )#i dont have a writing tag nor do i want one rn this is a rarity for me#bg3 epilogue spoilers#minor spoilers but still
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btw toddâs reluctance to join the dps because he doesnât want to read (which is then accommodated for) and is scared to put himself out there (which is also worked through) being read as todd not wanting to go AT ALL, and thus neil making the proper accommodations (âtodd anderson, who prefers not to read, will keep the minutes of the meetingsâ) and encouraging him to step out of the box that stifles him being seen as âforcefulâ or like he canât take no for an answer makes me insane with rage
#and him trying to stop neil from asking if todd not reading at the meetings is okay isnât him wanting not to go#its him not wanting neil to ask because (as someone with social anxiety) itâs EMBARRASSING ASF for someone to ask for things on your behalf#literally just think about it as the meme of âwhen i tell my friend im hungry and he tells his mom that *i* want food instead of both of usâ#and the whole âneil not knowing how to take no for an answerâ thingâŚâŚ dont get me fucking started#the kid whoâs had to take no for an answer his whole life? the kid whose first proper scene IS him taking no for an answer? are you serious?#being encouraging and accommodating and (admittedly) a little pushy when heâs got his mind set on somethingâ#âis NAWT the same as not being able to take no for an answer or bulldozing through conversations with people#he and todd DO listen to each other in those conversations theyre just on opposing sidesâ#âbecause their understandings of the world donât fully align at that point in time/the movie#which is totally fucking normal?????? because later on they DO properly align?????????#i feel so crazy about this every time i see someone say todd didnât want to go the dead poets meetings because itâs so obvious he DID#he was just scared#and you know what maybe it IS a little forceful#but given how dedicated todd is to shutting off and hating and isolating himself he NEEDS a little forceful to be broken through to#if no one ever pushed me to do things when i was scared (as irritated as it can make me) iâd never do SHIT dude#and obviously todd is the same way because he ALL BUT OUTRIGHT SAYS AS MUCH#âi appreciate this concern but iâm not like youâ IS about neilâs voice and opinions mattering to people but itâs ALSO aboutâ#âhim being outgoing and trying new things and putting himself out there#WHICH TODD WANTS TO BE ABLE TO DO!!!!!!!!#the moral you take away from todds growth is NOT that he has to change to be accepted because he DOESNT#its that he has to gain the confidence and belief in himself to grow and become the version of himself he WANTS to be#he NEVER changes on a fundamental level to make others happy (although his growth does make others happy) he just opens up more#and i dont know WHY some people think his arc is becoming a completely different person#like yall PLEASE#this isnt even an anderperry thing this is an issue even if you read them completely platonic#i blame the FUCKASS novelizationâŚ. dps book you will always be hated by ME#dps#dead poets society#neil perry#todd anderson
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here's a neat vid, go watch it if you haven't yet
there's Some things that i don't completely agree with personally, like attributing the Third sin to Materialism rather than Connection (i'd argue that the Ancients had no big issue with being materialistic, considering their golden attires and such- and that going with Connection overall better addresses both the core of Materialism and relationships overall) and then attributing the word Dynasty specifically to asian cultures but that's more history/word definition beef more than anything djgklsjlcgjkd
oh how i'd love to have a debate with this guy about Ancients...
#spot says stuff#rw#history fact: a dynasty was present big time around the years 800-1000 (iirc) on a large territory in eu which included slovakia#at the core of it per its definition a dynasty is just ''the same family ruled over the lands throughout multiple generations'' tho so its-#-not special or anything. with that definition in mind you can see how dynasties were also european things with all the kings and stuff#its just more often used for asian countries cuz they held out longer with the family stuff probably. or all the damn royal family drama-#-that happened there........ my Gods i know only a few chinese stories but Shit man there was a lot djgklsjgld#i wonder if identifying family members in the Ancient society happened through colors... like Sparrows n her siblings are colored from-#-dark blue (Dad's og clrs before turning grey) to turquoise (Inkling) and through this color coordination are the dynasties named#that's some fun thoughts#this video is prompting some neat thoughts.. ego is the culmination of the sins in short is one of them for example#did this guy actually come into contact with shkika or smth. the 'civilization before the ones we recognize as ancients' stuff at the end-#-sounds very familiar. -makes it to the end- Ah. The RW Discord. i wonder where that thought originated n who parroted it from who#â personally making the conscious effort to not seep myself into the fandom Too much since i like thinking about this stuff so i dont want-#-any fan-based answers/speculations. just wanna vibe with it uninfluenced n see where that takes me. also the rw discord feels dangerous
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you guys ever get tired of friends who only talk about themselves? how do you respectfully tell them off?
#personal#like i love them but also im sick and tired of hearing them talk about themselves#every conversation feels like im interviewing them bc i leep asking them questions and they just answer#but there's no turning the convo back to me#it's like 'hey how r u?' and they're like 'oh im not doing so well like life sucks'#and I'll be sympathetic and ask them why and then they start ranting about 70 different things#AND IT'S ALWAYS A VAGUE RESPONSE SO I HAVE TO KEEP ASKING QUESTIONS#and they act like they dont want the attention but it's obvious they want it#and even once they're done with their storytelling they dont even bother to ask me how i am or anything#and it's pissing me off these days bc i feel like i dont even matter to them; im just some person they can talk to about themselves#it's like they don't give a shit about me at all#if i ask them what their fav colour is theyre gonna tell me it's purple and then move on from that topic#at least ask me what my fav colour is!! instead of not even caring...am i even ur friend or what#im so sorry for the rant guys but... if anyone knows to politely tell these kind of people off please lmk#i need to tell them respectfully before i lose my mind and start yelling at them
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Hm. So am I the only one who 'likes' having ARFID?
Like don't get me wrong it's horrible it's caused so much damage to me but also like. I've had it my whole life I can't imagine a version of myself without it and I wouldn't want to not have it.
It's as big and fundamental a part of me as my autism. Sure there's bad parts but it's what makes me me, and without it I would cease to be me and become a whole nother person.
I've always found it a 'fun' part of me, a unique thing I was completely alone in most of my life, something that made me different in a funky way.
#arfid#avoidant restrictive food intake disorder#personal#just tbc this isnt anti recovery if thats what u wanna do good for u#i consider my arfid to be chronic tho#i tried therapy my family tried so many things when i was younger but nothing worked nothing helped#and i have consistently just gotten worse#and ive never truly wanted to get better or whatever#the doctors would always ask if i had any concerns about my eating habits and i would answer nl#no*#bc i dont. i dont mind it. its so fundamental to who i am as a person i cant separate it from myself#idk this is my relationship w all my disorders honestly#they suck but there does not exist a version of me without and if there did i would no lonher recognize them as Me#but also frankly? i was just one of those kids who was weird and creepy and loved it.#i love my unhealthy habits bc they make me special n not like everyone else. is that so wrong???#idk im just screamin into the void#only IM allowed to insult my arfid. anyone else does it and theyre on my shitlist#anyway again. if u wanna reciver good for u i dont consider it impossible for other ppl#just for me. bc my arfid is based in my sensory processing issues and that is never gonna change#and even if it could i wouldnt want it nor would i put in the effort#so yeah. my arfid is crhonic but my add is iconic whatever#ass*
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"you'll be fine at school you just need to answer people when they talk to you!" yeah sorry its always my fault somehow isn't it
#mole talks#i do answer people#if i dont answer somebody then that means:#a) they did not make it clear they were talking to me#b) they were being mean towards me#c) i could not physically answer them at the time#d) they never fucking talked to me in the first place#and honestly. most of the time its reason D. most of the time people don't say ANYTHING to me and then expect me to answer them#like i'm some sort of mind reader#hahaha i'm so excited to go back to a school where nobody respects what i am#i'm so excited to be called the R slur! i'm so excited to lock myself in a bathroom stall and cut myself! i love school!#i'm so excited to not be able to hear a word the teacher says because all of my classmates won't stop talking#seriously how can i understand anything if i can't hear it being explained to me#and when i ask for help nothing changes#oh thats another thing. so excited to see the school counseller#and just lie to her#i don't evem want to lie to her. oh my fucking god dude#school is a good concept. i love to learn and i want to learn#but i just cannot do this#theres no way#why does it have to be like this#:[#i just need to draw gay cats and listen to music#that will cure me
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Siri how do i stop the cycle without doing these bitchass tiny steps
#lamenting because i was so close to being normal and then i fucking lost it and gained nearly 100 lbs#and i cant get back to where i was i just ...... aaaaaaaaaaaaa#im so much more mentally fucked now so its harder#but thats all excuses right?#and then theres me being like am i even saying that bc i know its what people want to hear#or do i actually believe it? and is there even a difference if i know its true but i dont believe it?#does it even fucking matter just stop shoveling garbage in your mouth ffs#is the real answer here but I AM STRUGGLING#im looking into wls but i know if i dont get my emotional and bored eating under control that shit WILL NOT BE GOOD FOR ME#hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng#im just mad bc i have to fucking grocery shop#which always leads me to being pissed about this fuckass cycle#bitch call me mauville town the way i have cycles#god i can recognize the cycle which all tthe therapists will be like good on you!! :D and im like great. how do i break it#and then theyll say ten thousand small steps BITCH IM DYING I NEED DRASTIC CHANGE#BUT THEN IT WONT STICK AND ILL REVERT BACK TO WHERE I AM#but i did it drastically the first time and it wouldve stuck if i hadnt fucking lost it and ended up in the ward#im not a small steps kind of guy i need to wake up and fix shit and stick to it#but listen to me i am dean maniacally speaking to sam.gif#i buy all these stupid ass healthy foods and i have all these good ideas and reciepes and im legit pumped#and then i fuck it up and order food thats awful for me and then i give the hell up#which is an easy problem to fix. i know.#i can simply just....... not do that#but i swear i am struggling which pisses me off so bad#like you wouldnt struggle if youd quit being a stupidass and just did the damn thing#god i am not gonna do well on my psych evaulation#im gonna end up turning it into therapy and im gonna rage and the lady is gonna be like :D................. you need ten more visits#and youre getting denied at the end of them so get fucked#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#charlie am i losing my GODDAMN MIND? IF ITS GONE WHERE WILL I FIND.. IT?
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I want someone to love me quietly and loudly at the same time because Im an idiot
#mine#words#human#love#someone unashamed of loving me#someone free to love me and choose me#someone who loves me with every blink#a love radiating from them surrounding me like a blanket making sure i feel it because im an idiot#because im an idiot#clown#feelings#thoughts#love comes in many forms and i dont want this to be romantic only#my friends are loving me openly and casually w lil care packages and notes for me with videos they send me with âill sit w youâs &âi listen#with âyour feelings are validâ âyoure being hard to yourself so im being even softerâ with âhey do you wanna play sthâ#with âwanna body doubleâ and âi rmb you like thisâ âhave you eaten yetâ âcan i give you a hugâ#with âmy treat this timeâ and âcan i come visit youâ with âmissing youâ and âwe share this part of lifeâ#with âhey this reminded me of youâ and âi dont need this but i thought you couldâ with âwhat have you been up toâ and#with âdo you wanna go there togetherâ and âim getting [food/drink] you want some as well?â#with âi can pretend to be your waifu and help with choresâ and âlets cook togetherâ with âlets go on a walk togetherâ#with âtell me when youre homeâ with âtake careâ and âenjoy!â with âhows your day beenâ âhowd you sleepâ#with âtell me about your dream last nightâ âshow me your outfitâ with âhow are youâ and âi can explain it to you againâ with âi'll waitâ#with ânice to hear from you againâ and âi try to understandâ with âim glad a late answer is better than none from youâ#with âyou cannot see your own effort but i canâ with âhow can i help youâ and âjust wanted to see/hear youâ with âhey take this food w youâ#with âi dont mind doing that for youâ with ââ |â âľ|â âââ |â âľ|â âwhen seeing each other on the streets#every lil whimsical every experience thought and feeling shared#im immensely loved and i hope those people know and feel how i see appreciate and love them back#i am loved already#my friends make sure that i do not accept any less love expression and im endlessly grateful for them#âi will try for youâ âi'll try remind youâ âi can wake you upâ this all will get its own post one day
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it's really annoying when I tell people I require direct, straightforward communication and ask them to say what they mean at all times, as well as take my words exactly as they are. usually people will agree and be ok with it for a bit. but they always seem to suddenly forget. they will start saying things and mean something else, or refuse to elaborate and explain. or they will suddenly start misinterpreting what I say and add meanings to my words that arent even there. it ALWAYS happens and I do not understand why
#lee rants#autistic#autism#actually autistic#autistic friendship#my past friend group all agreed. then they suddenly started acting weird. i tried to be as direct as i could#but then i was suddenly told im gaslighting without explanation by one person and completely misinterpreted by another#then they uninvited only me from the group trip without a legitimate explanation after promising i cam go for months#and i was actually the one tbat planned the trip so thats even worse. i STILL dont know why i was âgaslightingâ or kicked out#another time that comes to mind. i shared a hotel with some girls for a concert. i thought i became friends with one#she was like the perfect friend i was looking for. i thought we got along great. after a few weeks of talking on twitter#i found she was âsubtweetingâ me bad things instead of saying them directly to me. her words didn't match her intentions#then blocked me without warning IF YOU HATE ME JUST SAY IT DONT MAKE ME WASTE MY TIME TRYING TO BE YOUR FRIEND YOU STALE HOTDOG WATER HUMAN#i still want to know what her issue was and why she acted that way and want to tell her shes a pathetic loser for being like that#i did nothing wrong. unless being nice and supportive and a friend is wrong lmao (its not. shes just very wrong and bad at being a person)#i hate that autistic brain CRAVES TO HAVE ANSWERS IT WILL NEVER GET
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oh my fucking god
#tomgreg#I CANT BREAHTEEEEE OH MY GOD#this is so fucking good holy shit#i need this oh my god#succ makes me wanna kms but these mfs make me step away from the rope#ik i'm not gonna get them for the next few episodes but holy fuck. i need them#ok so we all agree the cameras dont exist and tom just wanted to squeeze info out of greg right. right????#like. he wanted to know just how far greg got with her. he wanted to know what happened.#ALSO GREGS ANSWER AT DID YOU RUMMAGE TO FRUITION EVIDENTLY HE DID NOT#AND WHO TF SAYS RUMMAGE IN PANTS I FUCKING. GREG IS GAY. greg is gay. greg is gay. greg is gay. gregs gay.#they tried to get off and he was like call me a fucking idiot and she was like HUH??? and he was like um.#he's gay and in love with tom what a fucking shame. sorry bestie.#this episode is absolutely wild i'm losing my mind#also prev to this u do Not have to be that close to him to talk to him greg like jsyk.#also tom when you say tell me try not to look like yall are about to kiss like bffr.#can i not say? MEANS NO. IT FUCKING MEANS NO!!!!! sigh. sigh. sigh. sigh
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hi sorry I've been dead. again. like /gen sorry i rlly wamt to vibe on tumblr but im tryinf rlly had to farm on some games (wuwa and jp pjsekai) along this some things came up with my family so im bussier than usual. barely have time to hop in discord and chat with my friends, less time to even check tumblr for more than a few minutes. even then im usually quickly spent, and i dont like posting or talking with others ehen im low on energy, nothing personal i just dont feel my best when tired. so yeah im gonna be real quiet for a bit, perhaps ill drop some drawings around these days (yeah the poll is still on my mind). so uh yeah bye bye ill be back in a bit with more energy
#you can still tag me or send me ask i dont mind at all#just be aware that itll probably take a bit for me to answer#i do need energy for posting since i make a lot of typos ans i spend like 15 whole mins correcting those /srs#love everyone here heart for the moots and my followers#got tagged in some tag games and i rlly wanted to do those but as i said i cant rlly do them rn#but i will do them. just. not rn. sorry
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Every day I mourn the fact that none of my family and friends give a single shit abt oni lore, I don't wanna keep repeating shit I've already said before on here but every now and then I just remember the horrors⢠and nearly explode not being able to scream abt it again
#rat rambles#oni posting#just everytime I think abt olivia's 1500 cycle onwards logs I want to start biting things#shes soooo fucked up and tragic and she doesnt get any closure and she never will and I LOVE it#I fucking love her so much she rewired my brain so hard shes like one of The blorbos of all time#damn you klei you rly know how to make characters that destroy me beyond repair (hi carter twins)#I still find it fun imagining olivia and jackie interacting with the dont starve cast even if they wouldn't like most of them#I have lightly changed my mind on one dynamic tho#I still think that jackie would be stressed out by all the kiddos and would at least dislike them. but.#I do think she could end up kind of getting along with walter#like look at me. she was probably just like him as a kid. she would hate him for it but they could also talk for hours.#hed start sharing fun facts abt his bug collection and jackie would start lecturing him abt ants or whatever and hed think shes so cool#I think olivia still wouldn't like him tho but that's purely because hed probably stress her out#same with the rest of the kiddos I think if you put webber in the room with the two of them theyd both have a breakdown#not because hes a spider solely because hes a little boy who probably just asked them if he can have icecream#and wendy and abby would just be a situation of them not knowing how to talk to kids let alone depressed kids#oh and theyd probably also be stressed out by wurt for basic they dont know how to deal with kids reasons#rly the two would just hang out with wickerbottom and no one else if they could help it#except wanda they'd bother her non stop to the point shed start avoiding them lol#you see Im sure plenty of the cast wouldnt like olivia and jackie either because of just how much they wouldn't take magic as an answer#not that theyd be like no that cant be real cause thatd be magic theyd more likely start sciencing out the mechanics of all the magic stuff#in practical terms while also refusing to call it magic#and worst of all knowing them theyd probably get results because fuck man they brute forced their way into time travel (sort of) so why not#so itd just be maxwell being soooo pissed as the two somehow manage to replicate his spells without the codex#dont let them meet wagstaff then itd rly be jover
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#hmm its been an interesting week i suppose#very busy in a good way. but that is always how it starts. i make myself so busy and it feels good and then i wobble and fall out of my body#so im feeling wary. also bc ive been under sleeping more than ususal but im not really tired but im also not boiling out of my skin with#energy. i just feel ok. so thats good. but also a demon in the back of my head is always like: then stay up all night. lets see how far we#can push this. which is not good. and in fact ive been proscribed like basically emergency mood stablizers to knock me out if i start like#losing my mind and not sleeping lol. bc i dont wanna b getting ready for something big and like completely unavailable to control my#ability to think. and ive also been proscribed birth control to get a handke on my fucked up hormones. so we'll see if that makes things#less all over the place. hopefully it works bc im so busy i kinda dont have time to like freak thr fuck out#but i am a lil apprehensive bc like i can count on my hormones to make me feel things when a lot of the time i dont have much emotional#range. so its like fuck finally i can cry abt this. or like fuck this is so beautiful. but then i also cant function sometimes#so i guess i just gotta see what happens. sigh. also the typical frustrating in having to read so much. like ppl hear im dyslexic and r like#oh do u want accommodation? like literally wtf r u gonna do to help me as a grad student? it just takes an agonizing amount of time to#understand thing. i have my computer read to me and i suffer. theres literally nothing else to b done abt it. and fucking next week i have#to teach a fucking lab abt reading scientific papers. they have to read a paper in class. fuck off. those r the types of exercises that make#me feel so fucking stupid. like do this thing right now. read it right here and answer questions abt it. and i fucking read it and retain#fucking nothing. im fucking 26 and literally in my grant writing class i have to apologize to every person before i give them feedback like#lol sorry i can barely fucking read. i fucking cant understand language. its fine but it sucks. theres nothing to do abt it. it just makes#me mad i have to teach a class that would have made me cry as an undergrad. so ill prob hold their hands thru it more than the other TAs#will. bc fuck u im not making them read a whole fucking paper in class. fuck u#plus the frustration of not being able to express myself well in thr moments. like theres a delay in my brain so i feel so dumb when im#trying to convey myself off the top of my head. like give me time and ill write it all out for u i just cant actually process wtf ur saying#to me. also i probably spaced out for a sec so i missed part of the convo lol. frustrating but at this point its just how it is. it makes me#more empathetic when i have to teach i guess. like listen ive got all kinds of fucking learning probs i just wanna help u learn something#how can i help? fucking dyslexia. god. i dont wanna prep for class this weekend. ive gotta show up like yea i kno reading papers is hard at#first but it gets easier! fuck u. its worth the suffering if i enjoy to topic but its always suffering. but thats what i get for going into#academia. thr dr who proscribed me stuff was like well sounds like u have a stress trigger and ur a phd student where life is stress... u#gotta figure out whats gonna work for u. sometimes thats a career change. not in like a pushy way just like: if what u do makes u suffer#then wtf r u doing? and hes got a point. but in contrast to what i was doing this is a massive improvement#well see if its manageable. ugh. i just wanna draw#unrelated
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