#maybe ill answer some more tonight but i really have to focus. after my nap BYYYYEEEE

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Pet store clerk gives Charles a bag of free treats for his ""dog"" all while Charles can feel Erik Looming in the BG

the real mortifying day is after months of getting small bags of dog treats one day the bag of dog treats has like. perfectly normal human candies/pastries or something inside

Of Course charles is confused and impulsively asks what it is/how it's different from the usual only for the clerk to reply theyre Whatever Erik's Favorite Treat Is and its that day forward erik is adamant they just do their shopping online

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.4

I swear folks once I get this and the last part up I’m gonna condense it all

But yeah couldn’t resist some <3

Zhang and Wu Chat

Wu Xie: Um. I’m all done with the shower if you want a turn.

Zhang Qiling: I’m alright without one.

Wu Xie: sooo are you pissed at me still?

Zhang Qiling: ? I have not been angry with you since the ladder incident.

Wu Xie: you’ve barely said anything since the necklace thingy

Zhang Qiling: I believe it is a long-running joke amongst my friend group that I do not, in fact, say much.

Wu Xie: okay but there are multiple gouges in the tea house walls that would suggest you had somewhat strong feelings today

and I kinda caused the events that sparked said feelings

so just checking in you know

Zhang Qiling: I was not angry so much as I was afraid. More afraid than I’ve been in a long time.

Wu Xie: ??? But it has worked out fine??? Everyone made it out alive and Uncle Erbai gets to feel morally superior to the Zhang family for a while so today was a win overall

Zhang Qiling: I heard you scream. I didn’t know what had happened. I couldn’t get to you right away. Therefore, I was afraid.

Wu Xie: ohhhhh. oh, Xiao Ge. It’s alright now—hey the necklace was actually helping u look out for me:) It’s not like those ppl were actually trying to hurt me, really. Your family isn’t so bad, at least you don’t have any uncles you know of

today was just some big misunderstandings wrapped in some poor life choices. Tbh my memoir title

I feel kind of stupid for screaming but when a glowing necklace wraps itself around your neck it’s a little uhoh moment lol

I did like the design tho def my aesthetic.

Zhang Qiling: I am pleased that it was able to protect you when I was not.

Wu Xie: Uh no you are not allowed to get all emo abt this it’s only like 3pm

damn time flies when it’s flashing before your eyes lol

Are you on the roof? You’re def on the roof. I thought I heard the tiles moving over my head. Come down or I’m coming up.

Zhang Qiling: I will be down in a moment. Do not come outside, it’s cold and raining.

Wu Xie: you know, Zhang Rishan said he thinks the necklace might be linked to you, somehow

something from long ago, even though you wouldn’t remember it.

It’s lucky that it liked me, huh:)

Zhang Qiling: Yes. Quite lucky.

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: AWW LOOK AT HIM NAPPING ON YOUR SHOULDER SO CUTE. BEBES HAD A BIG DAY. YOU TWO ARE PRECIOUS. BE GOOD AND POSE FOR THE PICTURE NOW.

Zhang Qiling: No. Also, I am considering what steps I should take with Zhang Rishan. Regardless of his concern for the Zhang family line, his actions were unacceptable.

Wang Pangzi: HES DROOLING A LITTLE ON YOU WHICH IS LESS CUTE BUT I CAN CROP THAT PART

LOOK I KNOW YOURE STILL PISSED. IM NOT EXACTLY CALM MYSELF, I JUST HAVE WAYS TO SKIRT AROUND TIANZHENS BULLSHIT FILTER THAT YOU LACK

GET ON MY LEVEL

WU ERBAI WILL HANDLE IT, THINGS HAVE SETTLED I THINK

BUT ABOUT THAT NECKLACE

SO INTERESTING HMMM

Zhang Qiling: I am the patriarch of my family. The necklace behaved as I would, apparently, to protect a vulnerable family member. Wu Xie’s bad cold last week activated it, and it responded to a perceived danger to him today. Simple enough.

Wang Pangzi: UH HUH

A FAMILY MEMBER

THE NECKLACE REALLY SAID LOVE WINS

TOLKIEN COULD NEVER

Zhang Qiling: It protected him on a technicality. But I will not allow him to bear the burdens of my family ever again. It has taken so much from him already.

Wang Pangzi: YEAH SURE BLAH BLAH DESTINY BLAH BLAH ANGST

“A TECHNICALITY” WOW WHO SAID ROMANCE WAS DEAD

ANYHOO IM SCREENSHOTTING THIS FOR UR WEDDING RECEPTION SLIDESHOW

YA KNOW DURING MY SPEECH

Friends of Wu Xie Support Group Chat

Hei Yangjing: you’re welcome for everything today<3 I accept PayPal, although of course it is always my honor to assist my friends:)

Wang Pangzi: WE ARENT PAYING YOU SHIT

Zhang Qiling: You did absolutely nothing.

Hei Yangjing: whoa whoa maybe I wasn’t threatening family members or busting up load-bearing walls like some undying divas I could name but I totes helped

or at least I was there for moral support maybe?

Zhang Qiling: The only reason I knew you were there at all was that as I lowered my blade from Zhang Rishan’s neck, I heard the camera click and saw you were taking a selfie making a peace sign, angled to have the two of us in the background.

Xie Yuchen: I saw it on social media just now. The caption is “#greatdaycatchingupwiththelads #blessed”

Wang Pangzi: TBH KIND OF JEALOUS I DIDNT THINK TO DO THAT

Hei Hangjing: okay yeah you see Xiao Ge that is a modern kind of help I should’ve known you wouldn’t be aware

It’s called performance, you wouldn’t understand

it’s a ‘Gram thing

Also it means I’m a great person

Bc letting you handle the situation was my gift to you

Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie mentioned there is something called “blocking ppl” that gets them out of my phone.

Hei Yangjing: nah

Can’t trust that Wu Xie, bae can’t tell a coffin from an urn amirite

it’s not a thing, blocking

Xie Yuchen: It is a thing. I’ll show you later, Zhang Qiling.

Wang Pangzi: YOU BOYS GO GET CLEANED UP AND COME BY AROUND 9 I SNAGGED SOME OF ZHANG RISHANS BOOZE ON THE WAY OUT

Bonnie and Clyde Chat

Hei Yangjing: you looked pretty comfortable in those handcuffs earlier ;););)

Xie Yuchen: Go to sleep, idiot.

Hei Yangjing: You’d have to do something to tire me out ;););)

Xie Yuchen: Are you like this around Wu Xie? Not that I care, I’m just asking.

Hei Yangjing: uh that’s a big nope

First off all Idk when I’ll die but Id prefer it to be on my terms and not at the hands of those other two

Secondly there is a part of me that remembers how adorable he was when he was younger and that makes it weird

(No offense but u were not adorable. He was bebe luke skywalker, you were bebe princess leia I am obvs Han Solo 4lyfe)

Also I’m a little scared that if i flirted with him and he flirted back he’d be better at it.

Xie Yuchen: All valid concerns.

Hei Yangjing: as cute as he is I don’t really wanna tap that.

Xie Yuchen: I see.

Hei Yangjing: do you tho

Main Chat

Wu Xie: okay folks who wants cocoa to top the evening off? I picked some up today:D

Wang Pangzi: UH YOU SPENT YOUR DAY BEING KIDNAPPED AND PLACATING A SENTIENT NECKLACE WHEN DID YOU HAVE TIME TO GET GROCERIES

FRANKLY THATS INTIMIDATING

Wu Xie: the tea house gift shop:)

Wang Pangzi: …YOU BOUGHT COCOA FROM YOUR KIDNAPPERS. FROM THEIR GIFT SHOP. DURING YOUR KIDNAPPING.

WU XIE

WU XIE WHY

Wu Xie: I mean we were there the whole day, it felt impolite not to buy anything.

Wang Pangzi: OH RIGHT GREAT POINT ID HATE TO BE RUDE TO THEM AFTER THEY WENT TO THE TROUBLE OF ABDUCTING US

LISTEN WHEN PPL STEAL YOU IT BECOMES FREE REIGN ON THEIR SHIT

UGH YOU PROBABLY GOT A RECEIPT AND EVERYTHING

WAS UR LITTLE SHOPPING TRIP BEFORE OR AFTER THEY STUCK U IN A DUNGEON TO EXPERIMENT ON YOU

WAIT NVM I DONT WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT

Wu Xie: look, let’s focus on the positives/ we are all okay, and we learned something new, that necklace is still active! It’s really quite nice-looking when it isn’t moving of its own volition.

Wang Pangzi: YOU AND YOUR RELENTLESS DUCKING OPTIMISM

ZHANG QILING ARE YOU SEEING THIS

Zhang Qiling: I would love some cocoa. I’ll come to the kitchen.

Wu Xie: I have special marshmallows for you!!

Wang Pangzi: I SEE

WE ARE SUBSCRIBING TO THE PRESTIGIOUS “FUCK IT WHY NOT” SCHOOL OF THOT TONIGHT

LOL SURE LETS GO COCOA IT UP

IVE GOT SOMETHING STRONG TO POP IN IT

Wu Xie: Still thinking about that design… I’d love another chance to examine that necklace under less Zhangy circumstances.

Kinda sad we couldn’t borrow it to use for illnesses and dangerous missions :/

ah well it’s for the best, a family heirloom should be treasured, preserved and protected<3

Zhang Qiling: I put it on your dresser.

Wu Xie: ???????

Wang Pangzi: AND THATS WHY YOU AND I ARE FRIENDS, XIAOGE <3

Wu Xie: I—

Zhang Qiling: Are those bunny-shaped marshmallows for me?

[captaincravatthecapricious]

Sick Fic I Didn't Bother To Name

Post canon, Tim comes over to look after Jon while Martin is at work.

cw dizziness, fever, nausea, fainting, mentions of vomit, food mention I guess. Let me know if I should add more warnings, this is just a fluffy little sick fic it might have some light angst I don't really remember.

The thought of moving makes Jon want to cry.  All his muscles hurt.  The worm scars aching like the day they were made.  He’s just going to lie there here until someone makes him move.  

Which will probably be soon, because he’s positive Martin has asked Tim to come over and …water him?  

No, in all seriousness, he can’t exactly recall what Martin told him this morning as he was leaving for work.  Something about not letting him go in to work, no working online, no checking his email, something something Tim?  Not that Jon is feeling well enough to get his computer.  Let alone let it assault his over-sensitive eyes with the harsh light of the screen.�� Which is unfortunate, because he thinks Martin probably left him a text about whatever he missed this morning.  

He really hopes Martin thought to email his students.  He’ll try to remember to ask Tim to check.  If Tim’s even coming.  

Christ, he’s not thinking straight.  

He thinks Tim is coming, but if not, he’s got paracetamol, his inhaler, water, a thermos of tea, some saltines, a little cup of applesauce, excedrin, a thermometer (Jon isn’t sure why Martin left him that, there is no way he’s going to use that he just… really really hates thermometers, they mean he’s ill and that meant no school and staying quiet alone and miserable in his room so ill to open a book if he was ill enough for his grandmother to notice, it was less bad when he got to go to the school nurse.  Actually got some medicine sometimes, but they often sent him home too, and then his grandmother was cross that she had to pick him up.  In any case, no thermometer if he has a say in it.), bin, tissues (again Jon isn’t sure why, he’s not particularly congested, but Martin is Martin and is taking care of him even when he’s at work which makes Jon feel warm to his core, not from the fever that he knows he’s running.), lucozade, and his cane.  Everything in easy reach.  

He should probably take some medicine, but even reaching that far feels like too much.  He’s just going to lay here, on top of his blanket pile until the fever chills take him back and he has to burrow under them again.  It’s been the challenge all night to find a comfortable enough temperature to sleep.  A challenge he’s mostly been losing.  Leaving him feeling gritty and heavy and with a headache.  

He just wants to sleep.  Drifting in and out of it with frantic almost laziness.  Rolling heat to biting cold.  He wishes he could get his laptop, willing to bear the brightness if only to get a distraction from his discomfort.  

He’s just managed a trip to and from the loo, when Tim arrives.  Jon’s collapsed back on his blanket nest on the couch when Tim calls out before keys jangle in the lock.  Jon’s too busy trying not to pass out to make out words.  He’s impressed he managed the loo without a surprise nap.  But, he can make no promises that he won’t pass out now.  

He comes to with the inside of Tim’s wrist pressed to his forehead.  With a quiet gasp.  And then a frankly embarrassing sound as he fully absorbs how wonderfully cool Tim’s wrist is.  

“Hey there, bud.  Hate to ask, but did you just pass out from just lying there, because if so, I’m gonna have to be a little worried?”  

Jon tries to focus on Tim.  “No… no got back from the toilet and surprise nap.”  

Tim looks relieved.  

Jon is just relieved that he isn’t alone.  Where he can too easily spiral.  Being alone and miserable leaves it too easy to slip into memories.  Especially with the impressive fever that he’s got to be running, if the agonizing walk from couch to loo and loo to couch is any indication.  His muscles are shaking from fatigue from that pathetically short walk, and he’d had a death grip on his cane and the wall to keep upright.  Christ, he’s really not well.  

Tim makes a big show of wiping his brow and breathing a sigh of relief.  “Hey think you can give me some of the couch?”  

Jon would love to, he nods, but consciousness flutters when he tries to sit up.  Losing his vision to the dizziness again.  Tim catches him against his chest, and gently holds him steady as he slips onto the couch, positioning Jon as best he can.  Jon snuggling against Tim’s hooded jumper.  

He still can’t believe he’s allowed to do this.  A few years ago, Tim didn’t want to be in the same room with him.  But …here he is.  Here when it counts.  (Although Martin would probably tell him that it counted earlier too, that Tim should have been by his side, a thought that he’s been trying to work through in therapy, and Jon is working through in reverse in his own.)  Jon could cry.  Might cry.  Fever’s high enough that he probably will.  

“Got a bit worried when you didn’t answer any texts.  Wanted to see if you needed anything.”  

“‘m sorry.”  Jon really hadn’t thought to check his phone, and even if he had, well not as if he’d been up to reading anything on a tiny bright screen.  Even the thought of doing so makes his head hurt more than it already does.  

“Don’t worry about it.  Have you taken some meds recently?”  

Jon has no idea what time it is, or when Martin left.  Can’t even keep track of how light it is outside with the blinds drawn and his face shoved into Tim.  “Had some before Martin left?”  

Tim’s got an arm around Jon.  He’s rubbing his back.  And there is a tightness in Jon’s chest.  It’s been years.  It’s been years.  It’s been years, and he still can’t believe that Tim is really back and here and cares.  Tim could hold him every moment he can stand touch, and it wouldn’t be enough.  Jon needs.  He needs the attention and care, and just needs his friend in general.  And if he didn’t feel so sick, he could happily live in this moment forever.  If he wasn’t dizzy and feverish and dreadfully queasy.  

Tim’s hand stills, and a shuddery breath escapes Jon with the absence.  

Tim’s heart lurches.  He goes back to rubbing Jon’s back.  He’s pretty sure this is Jon crying and not Jon about to puke.  Jon’s decent at letting him know these sorts of things, or at least is consistent in his physical cues.  “Hey, bud.  Just gonna get you some fever reducers, it’s about time, I think.  Marto texted me when he was leaving.  Sorry about leaving you alone for a bit.  Had to finish up my shift and grab a shower and grab some soup making stuff and some DVDs, in case you wanna watch anything.  But, I’m not going anywhere.  You’re stuck with me.”  

Jon huffs a watery laugh.  Or maybe it’s a sob.  it’s damp, but that’s okay.   

“You just gotta sit up a little.  Wow, Marto really stocked up the coffee table for you, huh.  He loves you a lot.  Also, he worries.”  

Tim tilts Jon slightly more upright, and wipes away the tears, before handing him some medicine and some lucozade.  Martin said Jon had been sick earlier (probably more due to the POTS flaring up, Martin hoped, and Tim also hopes.  Not that a POTS flare up is a good thing, but if he can keep Jon full of salt and keep his feet up, he shouldn’t have any trouble keeping fluids in him, which makes things easier), in any case, the electrolytes are probably a good idea.  

“You thrown up recently?”  

Signs ‘no.’  That’s good.  

“Wanna try some crackers?”  

Jon shrugs.  

“If you’re up to it later, I can make us some soup, ‘kay?”  

Jon nods, looking …faded.  Probably best to get his legs up and him cozy.  

“Mind if I get you in a more comfy position?”  

Jon doesn’t answer, just blinks dizzily, so Tim carefully gets up, and props Jon’s feet up with the decorative pillows that he knows Jon thinks are stupid, and tucks a couple of the blankets around Jon.  Not too many, not wanting Jon’s temperature to climb any higher, but he can’t just watch Jon shiver.  Hurts too much to watch.  

Reminds him of all the times he ignored him.  All the times he hasn’t been there.  And there’ve been many.  He should have been there.  

So he’ll risk a couple blankets, even though Jon is burning away.  Hopefully the fever reducers do their job soon.  He does, however get a damp flannel for Jon’s forehead while he’s up.  

He thinks Jon might be unconscious again, but he won’t worry about that unless he doesn’t come around in a minute or so.  

Jon’s awake again by the time Tim has himself settled back on the couch.  

“How about some TV?  You up for that?”  

Jon just whines.  

“We’ll start some, and if it makes it worse, we’ll turn it off, okay?”  

Jon wiggles a little, getting comfortable.  And Tim chuckles.  

“Okay, bud.  You get some rest, okay?  I’ll make you some soup later, if you’re up for it.  I got ingredients for your favorite.  Or smoothies, if that sounds better.”  

Jon makes a sound of complaint as Tim as started to talk over the intro music.  

Tim chuckles.  “Alright, alright.  Just let me know if you get hungry.  Martin will be home tonight, until then, you’re stuck with me.”  

Jon falls asleep within an episode with Tim gently carding his fingers through his hair.  

[sickonthedancefloor]

So... wrote more of the thing, got distracted by a lot of *just gestures at America*, decided to post what I had anyway. Tentative part one? Have fun~

Sickie: Hoseok Caretakers: Namjoon, Jin (so far)

Content: emeto, fevers, flu-like illness

The nap just felt like a bad idea once Hoseok woke up.

The band had finally concluded their fifth weekend in a row of concerts and they have two weeks before the next one, so some downtime would be absolutely appreciated. But sweaty, tired, with their ears still buzzing from the cheers and bones still jittery from caffeine and exhaustion, they needed to just get changed so they could make it back to the hotel for a good night's rest.

Eat, shower, sleep. It was their usual pattern, and one Hoseok had been completely used to. But for some reason he felt like he'd gone overboard today, and his entire body regretted it. After the concert, after the encore, after the staff made their way around the boys collecting sound equipment and disconnecting them from their mic monitors and congratulating each other on jobs well done--ARMY had loved the finale, Hoseok was just so glad it all went well--Hoseok had just gone to the green room and flopped on the couch. After a deep sigh, letting, and a mumble of thanks when he felt one of the noonas fanning him with one of their ARMY face-fans, he'd shut his eyes and... actually had fallen asleep, the adrenaline draining from his body at an alarming rate.

"Hobi-ah! Hobi-ah! You didn't even get up! Come on, it's time to go."

The fan was gone, and the noona who had been there, but an uncomfortable chill had taken over its place as Hoseok squinted his eyes open. The sweat felt caked on his face, like crust gathering at his eyes. His limbs felt like lead, and it took him a few moments to register the voice. Honestly, he couldn't place the light trill until he saw Jimin appear before him, the younger singer's hand finding his shoulder.

"Come on, hero. Sejin-nim found us a ramen restaurant."

Hobi groaned. Food, while advisable and very necessary, just felt like an uncomfortable afterthought. He wasn't in the mood to eat, much less get up, but given the temperature drop in the room he kind of wished he had grabbed his hoodie.

"Jimin, have you seen my jacket?" was what Hoseok attempted to say. It came out more along the lines of, 'Jimiiii, m' jacket?' But Jimin's expression seemed clouded as he looked at him.

"You're cold? But it's so warm here..."

Hoseok nodded. He finally pushed himself to sit up, but the effort it took had him leaning forward to drop his head against Jimin's arm, his back protesting. He just felt so sore. Did he overdo it at the concert?

"Hobi... You're kinda warm."

"Mm... no, cold."

Hoseok really needed to wake up more. He normally felt tired after concerts, but this just felt painfully excessive. He lifted his head, looking towards the floor when he spotted a fresh water bottle. Perfect. Taking the water bottle, he opened it and just drank a solid third. It was lukewarm, which wasn't the tastiest, but it felt needed, refreshing. Maybe he was just a little dehydrated, some food and good sleep would help.

"Hobi... are you feeling okay?"

"Just tired, Jiminie... Just really, really tired."

---

The mere idea of dinner didn't seem to sit well with Hoseok either. He hadn't even realized he had fallen asleep until he felt Jin shaking his shoulder gently. He blearily opened his eyes to find Jin leaning over him, a smile growing on his hyung's face once they made eye contact.

"Come on, Hobi, dinner!" Jin cheered lightly.

With just a grown, Hoseok shut his eyes again. He really didn't want to get up. His head and his limbs felt like led, and his stomach just felt uncomfortable. But Jin's strong arms tugged at him until he budged from his seat, and he had no choice but to get up and follow along. Once out of the car, Jin paused to look at him for a moment, his grin faltering.

"You look... I don't know. Are you okay?"

"I think I just went harder during the concert than I usually do," Hoseok mumbled. He leaned over, his head dropping on Jin's shoulder. Jin promptly wrapped an arm around his side, hugging him close to him. It was comforting, warm in a way Jin always was, firm and supportive and kind. Hoseok smiled, eyes blinking heavily. "Hyung, don't let me go, I might fall asleep here."

That brought a soft, hiccupy laugh out of Jin. "Aaahhh Hobiiii, don't fall asleep standing! At least get some soup!"

Jin didn't let them dawdle longer in the cold air and he walked Hoseok inside. Limbs barely dragging along, Hoseok followed Jin to their private back room where the remainder of the band had already been seated. The room was cold, and Hoseok could feel a chill the moment he slid into his chair. He could already feel Jin's eyes focused back on him--his eldest hyung, always so observant over the smallest of things--but he pointedly stared towards the menu and attempted to focus on it.

That was until he felt two hands grip his beanie, but the hands merely pulled the hat further down to cover his ears. That.. made a lot more sense, honestly. It was warmer, having the beanie pressed snugly onto his neck, but the light material against his ears muffled the noise of the restaurant. When Hoseok looked up, he caught Jin's light smile before the older man turned to his own menu.

"It's kinda chilly in here," came Jin's only explanation.

Hoseok couldn't fight the small smile off his own face as he returned his eyes downward. He honestly was not hungry, which wasn't too surprising for him. After concerts, Hoseok usually felt rather peckish but never outright starving. A bowl of ramen or a salad could hold him over until breakfast, when he was prepared to eat everything under the sun. With a small yawn, he took a sip of the water provided and tried to tune into the conversation happening.

It was another animated night of Jungkook and Taehyung reenacting something goofy that had occurred during the concert when they were allowed to just let loose and have fun. Today's silly song had been Love Maze, which had ended up with an impromptu dance move between Jungkook, Hoseok and Jin, and Hoseok smiled down at his menu as he recalled the memory. The concert had honestly been a ton of fun, and ARMY had loved it. It had just taken too much out of him. Had he gone overboard? He couldn't even remember, but he didn't regret it regardless. He heard his name passed around, and an arm wrapped around his shoulders. Hoseok didn't waste time leaning into the embrace, humming softly at the sudden warmth... Jimin, he was pleased to see.

"Rest on me, hyung, I'll nudge you when the waiters come," Jimin spoke softly.

Hobi nodded, and as much as he wanted to just rest his eyes, he couldn't help but fall asleep on his roommate's shoulder.

---

"I think he has a fever," Jin said softly over his dinner.

Jimin had moved Hoseok from laying on his shoulder to resting his head against his thigh, and Hoseok's mouth had fallen open a bit from the change. His breathing was raspy, and as Jimin placed a hand on his cheek, he frowned as he nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I think so too," Jimin answered. "He probably pushed himself too hard at the concert, he seemed completely exhausted when it was done."

"I was wondering about that," Namjoon chimed in as he sipped a beer. He fiddled with the plastic bag of Hoseok's to-go order of ramen--they just ordered it to-go when they first picked their meals, no one wanting to wake the dancer. It was late, and it wasn't completely uncommon for them to be too exhausted to eat, but it was a rare occurrence to see their leading dancer and team sunshine so drained. Being sick just made more sense. "Hoseok's usually still fussing over everyone after a concert, I was downright concerned when I caught him sleeping."

"Hopefully it just passes by tonight," Jin mumbled. "It could just be overheating. We worked hard during the concert."

The others nodded in agreement. Namjoon couldn't help but reach a hand to Hoseok's cheek and press his fingers against soft skin. Maybe it was just temporary, he had to tell himself; but the heat radiating against him worried him nonetheless. "I'll stop by a drugstore on the way back just in case. I don't think we've got anything in the hotel, do we?"

Jimin and Jungkook both shook their heads. Usually at least one of them had extra painkillers or various cold or throat lozenges, but he imagines they left everything in the hands of the staff. The energy seemed to dwindle after that; they were all tired, but having their J-Hope asleep and as cause for concern, they didn't seem to be as in the mood anymore. They quickly finished, and as Yoongi took care of the payments, Namjoon and Jimin tasked themselves with waking the poor young man.

"Hobi, c'mon, we're going back," Jimin tried to coax. For the first minute, Hoseok didn't respond at all, but it wasn't until Namjoon's hand tugged on his arm that he groaned, something small and pitiful.

"Hobi, c'mon." Namjoon tugged his arm again, and Hoseok tried to pull away as he blinked open his eyes.

Wait... He glanced over, taking in the decor of their booth in the shop, to Namjoon's face, brows scrunched in worry and lips pointed downward, and it dawned on him that he was still in the ramen shop. Namjoon was just relieved to see realization slowly coming back to him, as Jimin's hands found his shoulders and helped him upright.

"Come on, let's go to bed," Jimin murmured. "We're tired."

We. Collectively. Less room for Jung Hoseok to argue, and Jimin knew it. If he were to point out that Hoseok was tired, he probably would have gotten an argumentative response, something along the lines of being able to finish the night if they had more tasks, or wanted to explore. But we meant it continued more than just him, went to names he wasn't even familiar with and asked for 'rest'. We tonight meant the entire band. And honestly, it wasn't a complete exacerbation--he himself was feeling drained, and he could see exhaustion drooping on all of his hyungs. How Jungkook and Taehyung were still going strong was beyond him.

"Back to the hotel?" Hoseok asked, voice small and shaky. He just stared owlishly between Namjoon and Jimin, as if trying to discover some forbidden secret.

"That's right, Hobi," Namjoon answered. "Come on, back to the hotel."

The next morning, Hoseok just felt worse. That Monday was their first day off, and usually the staff let them partner or split up and explore the city. They didn't get a lot of opportunities during the weekends of the concert, but the next two days, if not spent in the rooms, were often spent shopping and seeing fun sights. Hoseok remembered vaguely telling Taehyung he'd go with him to the aquarium last night, he thinks (did he imagine it?), and he remembered something about a really neat store downtown, but the rest seemed vague and disjointed. Did he really agree to go out today? With limbs that didn't seem to move on their own anymore? This was difficult...

His head felt completely stuffed with cotton, heavy and plugged up like no other. His nose was stuffy, sinuses enflamed and swollen--and it came with not only a dull headache but an uncomfortable fog that seemed to just cloud his thoughts. His ears didn't feel like they worked right. Really, none of him felt right. Not completely focused, all he could think were two words upon waking: 'So tired'. He could barely breathe, and after two very uncomfortable, forced sniffs, he merely opened his mouth to take in more air.

Hoseok's phone buzzed next to him. Then twice, three times.

Groaning, he stretched a hand out to find where it had moved to last night, limb moving lazily across the comforter. Honestly, Hoseok doesn't think he charged it at all, but it definitely came from somewhere around the bed. However, after a few minutes of futile searching, he merely gave up and allowed the uncomfortable haze to take him under.

The brief nap didn't seem to last long at all. There was some sharp knocking, and someone's deep voice calling his name, rather cautiously. A minute or so later, he heard the lock click and the door slid open.

"Hobi, you alive yet?"

Ah, Namjoon. Hoseok forgot he'd given him the extra room key.

Hoseok groaned, turning to the side. His mouth felt dry, and his limbs were heavy. He didn't want to get up yet, that felt like too much energy. And for someone who could run nearly nonstop on one Americano? That was saying something.

"Hobi? You're still not feeling great, Hoseok?"

With an incoherent grumble, Hoseok nodded. He hadn't even opened his eyes, didn't want to risk upsetting his head even further. There was a thick, consistent pounding that he immediately wanted to sleep off. He heard Namjoon's steps approach and stop, and soon long fingers had begun carding through his fringe. Then Namjoon's cool hand pressed against his forehead, and Hoseok shivered--why was he so cold?

"You're still warm... guess you didn't sleep it off like we hoped," Namjoon murmured.

Sleep it off? Hoseok had to take a moment to try and recall what made him feel so lousy in the first place. He remembered falling asleep at dinner, but even returning to his room seemed hazy. Brows furrowed, Hoseok merely looked at Namjoon, eyes squinted, as if trying to search for the answers. He wasn't sure what happened--hell, he wasn't even sure if Namjoon knew. But the look on their leader's face, that heavy-set frown and pensive eyes, Namjoon certainly must have figured it out.

"We should have had you take some medicine last night." His hand raked through Hoseok's sweaty bangs, pushing them from his forehead. His touch was gentle and cautious, and his simple motions lulled Hoseok into closing his eyes, nearly dozing again. He could just figure it out later, really... This felt nice.

"Ah--" Namjoon's hand froze. How long had it been? "Hobi, wake up!"

"Mm?" Hoseok grunted in response, but didn't move from his spot. Namjoon's hand moved away, the younger boy scooting back a little. With a frown, Hoseok moved a hand over to grab Namjoon's wrist. His grip was clammy and warm, not strong at all, but he didn't meet any resistance. Hoseok dragged Namjoon's hand closer, ignoring as Namjoon's fingers whacked his sore nose, resting only when he dropped the hand right atop his head.

'Keep going,' The message was clear. 'Don't stop, it feels nice.' Being sick made sense. It honestly explained everything: the headache, the clamminess, the chills. Even exhaustion--a concert wouldn't take this much out of him, would it?

With the chuckle from Namjoon, but those familiar fingers soon find themselves pressing into his hair again, and Hoseok decides he doesn't care. He lets himself succumb to sleep once more.

---

That was unexpected. Hoseok relaxed far too fast under Namjoon's hand, and only seconds seemed to pass before he could hear soft, congested snoring from the older '94-liner. That was worrisome, especially since Hoseok didn't seem to have a problem yesterday. Did this all come along after the concert? Or had he been hiding it? It took Namjoon a moment as he tried to recall the details of the day, but with last-minute arrangements, costume changing, makeup, stage rehearsal... There was no way to tell.

Worried, he moved his hand to Hoseok's shoulder and shook, concerned Hoseok may have actually passed out in weakness. Hoseok grimaced at the shaking, trying to tuck himself further into his blanket. Okay... so he just fell asleep. Namjoon sighed, and with another ruffle of Hoseok's hair, he pulled out his own phone and immediately scrolled through the contacts to their beloved eldest hyung. He didn't even bother with text and pressed the 'dial' button immediately.

Seokjin didn't take long to answer at all. "Joon-ah, my friend! Where are you? You're missing breakfast, I'm going to eat your share if you don't come for it!"

That got a soft snort out of Namjoon. "There's a reason. Do you have the medicine in your room? I think Hobi's sick, he hasn't gotten out of bed."

The joking tone to Seokjin's voice dropped immediately. "I was afraid of that... Does he have a fever? Is he coughing?"

"He feels like he has a fever," Namjoon answered. "Haven't heard any coughing or sneezing, but he went right back to sleep really quickly."

Seokjin sighed. "Hopefully it's not too bad yet... Hang on, I'm gonna finish up here and grab the bag in the room. Just keep an eye on him until I get there."

"Alright, hyung, I'll be here."

As they disconnected, Namjoon sighed and opened up the group chat, then closed it. No use worrying the others yet. Instead, he switched to the chat with their manager, sending a quick message about his teammate's condition. The near-immediate response he received offered help if they needed it, and just said to keep him updated. Namjoon sent a thumbs-up response before drawing over the chair from the hotel's desk, dropping into it.

Leave it to Hoseok to save getting sick for after the concert. At least it was convenient timing.

"You need to tell us when you don't feel well, you silly," he mumbled, though a fond smile fell as he reached over to pet Hoseok's hair. With his free hand, he just opened up the internet and mindlessly checked his emails.

Thankfully, the wait wasn't long at all. Fifteen minutes later, and Namjoon let in a worried Seokjin who had a bag from the hotel's convenient store, a cup of something hot, and a small RJ pouch from his room. Namjoon picked up the pouch.

"Seriously, how much RJ stuff do you own, hyung?"

"Aish, Joonie, don't worry about how much RJ stuff I own!" Jin bickered playfully as he pulled items out of the bag. Fever patches, cough syrup, pepto, a bottled sprite, a few tea bags from downstairs, and even some cracker packages. Namjoon peeked into the RJ bag to find throat lozenges, painkillers, bandaids... even a small thermometer.

"The thermometer is from Sejin-nim," said Jin, and he held his hand out.

Namjoon handed it to him. The last minute inventory was a pretty good set. "Guess... let's wake him up again and see what he's feeling."

Jin nodded. He kneeled next to the bed and gently shook the dancer. He moved the blanket back, and sighed at the forlorn look the younger one gave him.

"Seokkie-ah! Come on sunshine, wake up for a little bit."

Jin?

Hoseok hummed in confusion as he attempted to turn himself onto his back. His blanket felt positively stifling now, and he was getting sweaty. He grimaced, honestly feeling uncomfortably warm as he tried to push it away. Jin helped by pulling it down to his waist, but soon that large hand pressed against his forehead again.

"You're not kidding. He's roasting. Seok-ah, how are you feeling?"

Hoseok's eyes opened, but he grimaced and shut them again. Everything seemed to spin the moment he tried to look, and it turned his stomach immediately. He curled in on his side, bringing a hand to his head.

"Bad headache?" Jin asked softly.

"Mmhmm..."

"Feeling anything else? Sore throat, upset stomach? Give us something to work with."

"But... day off," Hoseok croaked. His voice sounded hoarse, and he looked completely drained. "No working."

Namjoon snorted. "You got jokes on your sickbed. Can't be that bad."

With a smile that soon turned into a grimace, Hoseok shook his head.

...then promptly leaned over the bed and vomited. Jin barely moved back in time, but didn't manage to avoid side splatter on his shoes. Namjoon was quick with grabbing the wastebin from the desk and moving it under Hoseok's face, grimacing as the dancer gagged up another hot mouthful of sick. Jin moved to the side of the bed, rubbing Hoseok's back.

"There, just get it out..."

And get it out he did. Hoseok barely had time to take a breath in before he heaved forward again, choking out mouthfuls of thick, clustered vomit. Jin held him up by his shoulders when he noticed Hoseok's arm shaking under his own weight holding him up, and he continued to mumble reassurances until he began to slow down.

"Deep breath in, Seokkie," Jin coaxed, pulling Hoseok back from the basket. "You're done. You can't have that much more in you."

Hoseok frowned. "I--" Hoseok grimaced, voice raw. He took a moment before trying again. "I got it on you, Jinnie?"

"No, I'm fine." Jin stroked his hair. "C'mon, rinse your mouth out and then you can lie down again."

Namjoon already had a water bottle open, and Jin took it from him to help Hoseok take a sip. After swishing it around, Hoseok spit it out in the trash bin before collapsing onto the pillow behind him. Grimacing, Namjoon carried the bin to the bathroom and grabbed a towel and the bathroom's bin. He placed the towel on the mess, siently apologizing to the cleaning staff, and attempted to clean it up a little. Bile was gross, especially when it had an especially sick smell to it, but it wasn't the worst he's dealt with. He didn't get sick sympathetically--honestly, it was a small blessing, given how often colds and bugs passed around them. He'd grabbed a washcloth, and secretly handed that to Jin. Jin flashed him a grateful smile and began to wipe his shoes off.

"Well, that made for an eventful morning. Hoseok-ah, I guess in a little while, you should try some tea and then medicine. It's going to hurt your stomach more taking it while empty."

Groaning, Hoseok reached for the blanket and pulled it back to his chest. He just felt chilled to the bone now. He just wanted to sleep, see if perhaps it would go away on its own. He didn't realize he had been mumbling it aloud until he felt Jin's hand comb through his hair and his hyung sighed.

"Seokkie, that's not going to help at all. Come on, just a few sips."

"Nooo..." But it sounded small and pathetic. And Jin wasn't going to have any of it. Without much prompting, Jin's hands wrapped around his shoulders and guided him up, moving him to lay against his shoulder. But before being handed anything, Hoseok could feel something cool tapping his lips.

"Open up, put this under your tongue."

That didn't require much. Hoseok obliged, eyes closed, leaving it for Jin and Namjoon to handle on their own. Namjoon though, had frozen in his clothing, as he caught sight of the numbers climbing up. And up. 38... 38.5... 38.9... 39...

"Aish, Hoseokkie..."

It finally beeped, blinking on 39.3 C.

"It's this high already?" Jin pulled it from Hoseok's lips. "Joonie, grab one of those compresses for him. Hobi..."

Jin moved, and Hoseok grimaced again--Jin had leaned over, and his sense of balance shifted with him. He righted himself, and Hoseok, and lifted the mug to his lips. "Here, drink."

With a soft whimper, Hoseok carefully took sips of the tea. The warmth came with a strangely comforting feeling, soothing on his throat and actually settling against his empty stomach. It was weird, but he had to appreciate it. It wasn't long before he could feel the cool gel sensation against his forehead as he felt Namjoon smoothing a patch against his forehead. It was chilled and uncomfortable, but as he shivered, he could feel Namjoon setting another one on at the nape of his neck.

"Aigooooo," he whines.

Jin just laughs and strokes his hair. "You're really sick, Seokkie. These should help."

But before Hoseok could get comfortable, Jin jolted him again. "Try to take a pill before you fall asleep."

There was a whine of apprehension that surprised even Hoseok, and he looked up at Jin with unsure, squinted eyes. Namjoon had turned off the light again, leaving just a bit of light from the hotel windows. That definitely helped with the headache, but Hoseok wasn't sure if he was ready to try a pill.

"Try? Try for Hyungie?"

There was another whine, but Hoseok held a shaky hand out, curled fingers trying to uncurl. He'd try, at least once. Namjoon was quick to pop a cold and flu tablet from the packaging and place in his hand, and Jin placed a water bottle to his lips. Hoseok made quick work of swallowing the pill, before laying down. He made a beckoning hand again.

"Eh? But you took it, Hobi-ah, you're okay."

Hoseok's fingers clashed again. Namjoon laughed, but Hoseok was too exhausted to gripe about it.

"He wants you to give him your hand," Namjoon translated the gesture.

"OH. Oh, okay." Jin placed his hand in Hoseok's, and Hoseok moved the hand to the top of his head. An unspoken request--pet my hair please. Namjoon chuckled, but he wasted no time in running his fingers along Hoseok's scalp, lulling the dancer back to sleep.

Unfortunately, dozing only lasted a few seconds before his stomach flipped, and Hoseok's eyes widened. He didn't want to throw up again, not on the floor at least... As he attempted to sit up, he swayed the opposite way and found himself suddenly braced in someone's steady arms. The wastebin was handed to him, and he tilted his head down, a mouthful of bile and the little water he drank escaping into it already. Gasping, he pressed a hand over his stomach as a painful cramp waved through him, bringing with it another mouthful. Hoseok gagged and coughed out another long stream, of leftover food from somewhere deep within him and stomach acid. It honestly hurt his throat, and he could feel his eyes stinging with tears from the pain.

Jin's arms just held Hoseok tightly as his body convulsed, a nearly gutteral sound escaping as he retched. There really wasn't anything left in him, and yet his body felt like it needed to purge out whatever viral affliction was plaguing him.

From Namjoon: "Hobi, take a breath!"

Hoseok retched again, then opened his mouth and tried to just take a breath in. It came in as a strangled gasp, mouth open as spit drained from his lips. Another attempt and he managed to settle the urge to vomit again, at least. Namjoon borught the water bottle back to his lips.

"Here, rinse."

Ah... Hoseok followed the instructions easily, letting Namjoon hold the bottle as he brought it to his mouth and swished the liquit about, before spitting it in the can. Namjoon moved the trash can to the floor and ran a hand through Hoseok's sweat-damp hair as Hoseok slumped against Jin.

"It's okay, you stopped," he said softly. "So... I guess that was too much."

Hoseok whimpers. "I'unna lie down..."

Jin laughed but helped ease him to the pillow, draping the covers over his shoulders. He lay on his side, grimacing as another cramp rippled through his stomach.

Jin rubbed his shoulder softly. "Try to rest while you can, okay? We're staying here with you."

"Mm... okay. Don't leave." And with that, Hoseok let sleep overtake him once again.

Jin frowned as he looked up at Namjoon again. What were they going to do now?

[johannstutt413]

Hey There Little Lupo, Lemme Whisper in Your Ear...

“...Hmm.” The Doctor rolled over in his bed to turn his lamp on. “Could have sworn I heard something.”

“You did.” Lappland was standing at the end, a bloodcurdling smile on her face.

His face blanched. “You...you’re finally going to kill me, aren’t you?”

“What? Without a fight?” She chuckled. “You really think that little of me?”

“Okay, so if you’re not here to kill me - which I still suspect - why are you here?”

The Lupo crawled over the edge of the bed and next to him. “I couldn’t sleep, got bored, had an idea, and decided to test it out on you.”

“...What the fuck does that mean.” The fear was back, although somewhat muddled by another biological impulse. “Lappland, what does that mean?”

“Don’t worry about it. Just snuggle up-” She wrapped her arms around his chest as she said this, pressing herself against his back “-and let me whisper in your ear.”

Well, it wasn’t death, and she didn’t seem like she wanted to hurt him…“Alright, but don’t get too comfortable.”

“Heheh...We’ll see about that. Now, let’s get you back to sleep.”

“Huh?” He wanted to turn around and face her, but he couldn’t without moving her as well. “O-okay, then.”

Lappland set her head against his back and, in a low whisper, said, “Auto-sensory meridian response.”

“...I get it now.”

“You’re a light sleeper, Doctor.” The Lupo continued, her voice sending delicious tingles along his scalp. “I hear the other Operators talk about it sometimes. Gravel says you wake up almost every hour at least once...That a fly on your wall buzzing could pull you from a nap...But you look so cute when you’re asleep~”

And back to being weird...but he already knew all of that. The Zalak had told him as much. Had she taken photos, or...or had Lappland visited him before? Normally that’d be sending a chill down his spine, but it was already occupied.

“I wondered how long I could stand there without you hearing me. Gravel said that on a good day, she could hide for about half an hour. Maybe I’ll tell her I beat her record, but I’m not sure...I like the thought of you being the only one who knows. It makes it more special.”

Was it just because she’d gotten into bed with him this felt so intimate? She was probably just messing with him - one thing everyone knew about Lappland was she had a very strange view on what was ‘in good fun’ or ‘entertaining,’ and if she was talking to Gravel then God knew what she might start talking about - but there was always a chance, wasn’t there?

“Mmm...I can hear your heartbeat. Thu-thump. Thu-thump. Thu-thump. You still don’t know what to think of this, and...I don’t know, either.”

Oh? That was a twist. It was getting harder to focus - hell, this might actually put him to sleep.

“I...I want to know what goes on in your mind. I want to understand you, and to see if maybe you can understand me. No one does, and I know why, but when I see you...when I see you...You’re still awake. Good. If you weren’t, I might be less honest with myself. I could say my plan worked, I had my fun, and I could brag to Gravel about beating her record, but I don’t want to do that, to cheapen this moment. Even if it’s only once I can speak so freely with you, I’m happy you want to listen.”

He felt a tear falling from one of his eyes, but he didn’t move or try to stop it. As heart-wrenching as this was, he felt so at peace, which considering this was Lappland seemed so impossible…

“You don’t need to feel sorry for me, Doctor. I deserved this fate. I know I’m crazy. I know I’m too violent, that I shouldn’t want to see Texas in a frenzy the way she used to, that I shouldn’t find your confusion about my intentions so delicious, but I can’t change those things...I can’t fix myself, and no one here can fix me. They only know how to keep my body from turning to stone, but my heart already has...at least, it almost has. I don’t know when, or how, but you chipped a hole through to the organ beneath. It isn’t scarring over, and every time I hear your voice, it skips a beat. I’d...I’d do anything for you, Doctor. Anything...but I know I’m crazy, and that wouldn’t be good for you...You’re still awake? Hmm...Maybe I’m not as good at this as I thought. You feel the response, yes?”

“I do,” he whispered back. “Loosen your arms a little.”

She obliged, and he turned himself around to face her. “I couldn’t make you fall asleep,” the Lupo frowned, seemingly oblivious to the words she’d just said.

“Did you mean everything you said?”

“Heh. Maybe I did.” She gave him a maddening smirk. “Does it matter?”

The Doctor put his arms on her sides, fingers lightly pressing against scars from days spent in Siracusan slums. “It’s the only thing that matters. I don’t need sleep, Lappland, until I have an answer.”

“...I did.” Her perpetual aura of subtly-masked danger was still there, but for the first time since he’d met her, the Doctor could see a touch of vulnerability. She wanted to let him in...but how much?

“Your voice when you whisper is so gentle.” His right hand traced along her side to rest on her cheek. “If what you were saying wasn’t so interesting, I would be asleep right now, so this was no failure. But if you wanted to test that, a confession was not your best choice...Still, I’m glad you came tonight.”

Her eyes danced, lit by an unidentifiable glow. “You are?”

“I don’t sleep well unless I’m really tired, but maybe all I need is someone beside me. Gravel never stays after I wake up - she says she loves me, but I think she’s scared to make a move when I’m half-asleep - but you’re here, and your words were so sweet, and your voice so soft..almost as soft as your skin.”

“Mmmm...” She drank in the praise, and it set her shaking slightly, especially when his other hand slid down next to one of her Originum formations. “Doctor...Do you want me to stay a little longer~”

He shook his head. “No, Lappland...I want you to stay forever~”

--Originally posted by ZeroDegreesOfEducation

*Comment by RatRacer: ‘That’s not realistic. Everyone knows Gravel’s better at stealth than Lappland!’

**Response to RatRacer by StarlightSeer: ‘Perhaps not, but seeing some of her abilities in person, one must wonder...’

**Response to RatRacer by KarmaChameleon: ‘We know it’s you, Gravel.’

*Comment by InkSplatter: ‘This is pretty good for a first-time post. It’s not my preferred style, but it does deserve a place on the front page.’

**Response to InkSplatter by ZeroDegreesOfEducation: ‘Thanks! I think Lappy gets a bad rap sometimes, but she really is sweet once you get to know her. Especially if she asks to whisper in your ear ;).’

***Response to ZeroDegreesOfEducation by KarmaChameleon: ‘Wait a minute...Spoken from experience?’

****Response to KarmaChameleon by ZeroDegreesOfEducation: ‘Hey, no one said these ships couldn’t be based on true events, did they?’

*****Response to ZeroDegreesOfEducation by TexasOurTexas: ‘Looks liek some1s on 2 us :P ill b keeping an i on ur posts all of u so say nice things bout his stories k?’

Continue Reading --->

(requested by anonymous)

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 115

There were a lot of sudden factors that accumulated, leading to an onset of a headache, a crush of dizziness, and the feeling like you needed to lie down or else your body would do it for you. Happy was able to clean up the area and assist with getting Harley in the car. Which was good. You were quickly losing focus. Having spent a lot of energy the night before, not getting any sleep- and just then- half holding on to a kid that was emotionally imploding- it was doing quite a number on you. But you were trying to hold it together. 

Hold it together… because that was the only thing you could do. Collapsing in front of Harley was not an option right now. He needed a steadier rock, even as he started slowly closing off. It was hard to get from the sidewalk where press were roped off (already asking about the “attack” in the park and still trying to get answers about last night), harder still to get through the lobby, the questioning stares, the loud murmurs. People. There were so many people. And you were aware of every single one of them.

Harley had finished his louder expelling, keeping to himself with his arms crossed. You were suddenly feeling violently ill, holding to yourself, a hand to your forehead. In a shocking moment of tenderness you wouldn’t have thought him capable of after what had just happened, he looked past himself. “...are you okay?” 

“I just need to lie down. All the lights- I have a migraine-” It was more than mere luck that Tony was standing outside the elevator doors in the penthouse as soon as they opened. 

It was like someone hit the release button on your skeleton and muscles as soon as you saw him, knowing you were okay just because he was near. He caught you by the shoulders. “Hey- honey- alright, I’ve got you…” 

Harley’s quick panic tore through you. “What’s the matter with her? Is this because- did- did they do something?” About the only conclusion that made sense. A news crew had brought his father there to wreak havoc, you’d stood in the way, they must have been up to something else, right? That was what made sense, when he didn’t have all the pieces to play with. 

You braved a smile even as you felt yourself paling. “I’m okay, Harley.” 

“No you’re not! This is bullshit!” It was his guilt next that crushed you. Children were so volatile. Not in control of themselves at all. Spent as you were, you were entirely too susceptible. It was like he was pounding on all your walls. 

Perhaps… perhaps it was his guilt that was mixing with your own. Feeling sorry for one another. Responsible. Tony lifted you in one clean swoop. “Easy, kid.” A command. Something sturdy, and something that immediately scared silence into Harley. “Wait here, I’ll be right back.” Another. And yet another one Harley seemed to listen to without a word, going to just sit on the couch in an angry heap. 

Adults were just the worst, weren’t they? They always lied. They always hid things. 

Tony took you into the lovely darkness of your bedroom and settled you down. Helped you out of your shoes. Got you comfortable underneath the covers. “You know… it’s not my favorite way to wake up, hearing we’ve gone into a code one emergency-”

“Happy overreacted. I just needed a barrier.” 

“You didn’t take the Reactor.” 

“It was the press and an asshole- I was just going for a run- I didn’t think I needed it.” You were capable enough to not have to rely on it all the time. Hadn’t last night proved that? ...or literally any other moment you’d done without? Why was he bringing this up now? 

“Yeah. Alright. So ...what happened out there? I’m working with scraps here.” Settling a comforting hand on your leg, massaging in a slow circle. 

You wanted nothing more than to close your eyes and just rest. But… as always… debriefs came first. Maybe it was good. Because that guilt gurgled back up out of you. “I don’t know if I did the right thing, Tony.” Raising a hand to cover your eyes. Allowing your weakness to show. Only in front of him. 

“...you kill the guy?” 

“No.” You could never be that foolish. Even if you could have easily made it into a case of self-defense. That wouldn’t have been the right play. 

“Then?” 

“I… I made him leave. For good.” 

The bed shifted as he leaned over, and you felt the careful touch of his fingers at your wrist, prompting you to move your hand back. Away from your eyes so that he could look at you. “Better than what he deserved. You made the right call.” 

“It doesn’t feel like it.” A few tears leaking at the corners of your eyes. He was being too understanding, as always. Too willing to love you no matter what. A fatal flaw, to be sure… “What if I took something away from Harley- what if I- ...ruined his closure?” 

Tony’s eyes dropped, a heaviness ghosted over him. “Maybe. But. He wasn’t gonna get it either way. Trust me.” As you looked up into his eyes, you felt the pain of a life lived- not similarly but close enough. A deep understanding of that similar torture...

Get out of here- Stop messing with that- Go to your room- No dinner tonight- Stop crying- Man up- I’ve had enough of you- Go find your mother I can’t deal with you- You know, Tony, sometimes I can’t help but wonder if you were a mistake- Your best isn’t good enough- When will you learn-

“Tony-” 

He was bleeding through you, and even as gently as you could, calling him, raising a hand to brush back a stray tear- he startled. Raising a hand up in a strike to hold onto your wrist. The two of you looked at each other. You were amplifying the dark parts of his mind that haunted him so deeply. That he kept so close to himself. 

You and Harley were doing quite the mental number on him. 

Those deep wounds on his soul that he tried to build a different foundation on. Tried to pretend weren’t entirely there. Maybe not all that bad. 

Your ears were ringing, head pounding as you half sat up, easing your hand out of his grip so you could put an arm around him. “It’s me,” you whispered into his skin. “I’m sorry. Just take it easy.” Reversing positions. Trying to blanket him in comfort no matter how hard it made your head ache. He deserved to not suffer. Especially not when you could- 

“Honey.” He shifted back, placing one hand against the back of your head to cradle you, raising his other arm to shuffle his shirt so he could grab the edge of his sleeve. Reaching up he pressed the corner against your nose. Bleeding. “Don’t try and take care of me when I’m taking care of you.” Smiling then, as best as he could. 

Everyone was frayed. Worn down. Holding on so tightly. Maybe it had been killing you the entire time and you’d just been keen to disregard it. “We can take care of each other.” 

Leaning in he pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead. “This is killing you. Just take it easy for now. Rest. Please.” The last word a whispered plea. The only way he could continue to move forward, setting his sights on just helping you. And Harley, you had no doubt. Easier to do that, than anything else… 

You let him lay you back, let him press another gentle kiss to your temple that served to soothe you. “I love you.” 

“I love you, too. We’re alright. We’ve got this. Hard part’s over.” If he hadn’t been the one saying that, you wouldn’t be so sure. But because it was him… 

You’d believe it. 

                                                        ----

Someone was talking. Something was haunting you. Why didn’t you do more? Why didn’t you do better? 

The endless cycle of guilt that always seemed to plague you. Except now, as you laid in bed, tossing and turning, hardly able to breathe, sweating from every pore- you weren’t so sure it was your own voice. Somewhere, deep in a nightmare… maybe your subconscious was speaking a whole different language, really. Punishing you in the handful of voices you’d failed… 

When you woke with a start it was dark outside. Yet even though you’d technically been asleep for hours, it felt like you hadn’t actually restfully slept for more than ten minutes. Getting up you took a few minutes to splash some water on your face and get reoriented. Looking up into your reflection it was alarming to see just how much all of this had taken a toll on you. 

How much would things keep compounding? Maybe it was time for a few lengthy sessions with Deja… and… to be a little bit more honest… 

Some things were rectifiable though. Perhaps it wasn’t just nightmares holding your sleep back, making you feel awful. Maybe it was that you’d taken a nap in a sports bra and a hoodie. That would account for the heat, and that you couldn’t breathe. Little things. Such little things… so you got changed into a tee and some jeans instead and relieved yourself of your bra. 

You couldn’t hide in the bedroom forever. But you were scared about what you’d find waiting for you in the living room. Thankfully… it was just Harley playing video games. Tony working on something on his tablet. Takeout boxes strewn along the coffee table. ...dangerously normal, considering everything that had happened. 

Both so consumed, not even noticing you coming closer, you used a very light voice to ask, “What time is it?” 

Surprisingly it was JARVIS who answered, even as both of them looked your way. “It is two in the morning, ma’am.” 

Okay. So. Not completely normal. Tony lifted a hand, “Why don’t you come sit over here, honey. You’re uh… you’re looking weirdly flush and pale at the same time.” 

“I’m okay.” Protesting but… sitting between him and Harley anyway. “What are you playing?” Directing your attention towards the big screen. 

“Mario Kart.” Harley was completely walled off emotionally. Maybe that was for the best. It was at least helping to keep you level. But… at the same time, that was probably not a good sign. “Wanna play?” 

“Oh. I’m not very good. But. Sure.” Maybe it was just wise to follow his lead and ignore everything. Pretend everything was fine. 

Tony reached over to grab one of the remotes. “Here. I ordered you food- I’ll heat it up. You look like you could use something to eat.” Leaning over to press a kiss to your temple and then standing. 

Even though you realized how hungry you were at the offer of food, you couldn’t help but protest. “Really- I’m fine. But thank you.” Offering him a small smile. On the character select screen you picked one at random- baby Daisy- and picked a car much the same way. “So…” Asked as Harley selected a cup. “What have you two been doing this whole time?” 

He shrugged, eyes glued to the screen. “Nothing- this. I guess.” 

It was probably better to leave him alone. Yet for some reason you couldn’t help yourself. “And… you’re okay?” He gave another shrug. Yes. Leave him alone. Good plan. ...and yet… “Did you guys… talk?” 

“I guess.” The race had started. He was far more focused on that. “He said you made him go away. But not really how. What’d you say to him?” 

So. Tony and Harley had had a heart-to-heart, you hoped, about his shitty father. And that you’d apparently talked him into leaving. You trusted Tony hadn’t said exactly how, as he was saying. ...but you also sensed Harley was testing you. Tony must have come up with a story. But what exactly? “I threatened him.” Simple enough, right? 

But that answer had Harley shaking his head. “But how. What did you say? How do you know he won’t just come back?” 

“We’re looking out for you now. He seems like an idiot, but even he understood we’re not people to cross.” If you were a normal person maybe this is exactly how you would have gone about it. Dug up evidence on him. Blackmailed him. Thrown your weight around. Maybe… maybe that was what you should have done. 

“Okay. Whatever.” Dismissing you. Had you said the wrong thing? Had Tony said something different? You felt he absolutely didn’t really believe you. He thought you were a liar. 

Uneasy silence took over the room. The two of you pretended to play games- ...well at least he seemed like he was actually paying attention. Shifting in his seat when he went into curves. Getting heated when someone overtook him in first place. Taking it pretty seriously. It made it a little easier for you to just focus on the game, too, even if you weren’t winning. 

So easy, in fact, that deep into race three- just as Tony appeared in the room with a hot plate full of food for you- 

Harley surprised you by reaching with a quick strike to rip off part of the bandages that had been wrapped around your arm. It startled you to your core, getting you to stand and half stumble back, holding a hand over… well… where there should have been a wound. “Harley!” 

“Kid- what the hell are you doing?” Tony was just as stunned and trying not to be angry. Trying being the key word here. 

Harley threw his controller on the floor and jumped up, pointing an accusing finger your way. “I knew it!” But even though a small shred of him was frustrated, a much larger part of him was very intrigued. “Let me see- let me see it!” 

Tony set your plate of food down, coming to stand quite clearly protectively in front of you, both his hands raised palm up. “Alright- that’s enough. I think it’s time for bed. You’re gettin’ a little loopy.” 

“I saw it! There’s nothing there! How is there nothing there?? I knew you were different!” Getting a little heatedly flustered now. He must have been thinking about this for a while. Planning this moment out, too. At least this one went his way. 

There was no avoiding this now. And lying to him would probably only make it worse. Hadn’t this kid been through enough? “Okay- first of all-” You stepped aside Tony, letting your hand down from your arm. “There’s not nothing there.” Showing off a deeply purple bruise. But definitely not what should have been a gunshot wound. 

Harley shook his head. “I knew it.” 

Tony crossed his arms rather defensively. “Alright, congrats kid. You figured out our big secret. The question is now what you’re gonna do with that.” 

Almost like Tony had shattered him completely, Harley balked, staring up at the two of you confused. No idea what to do next. Because he hadn’t thought that far ahead. “I dunno- I don’t wanna do anything- I just… I wanted the truth.” He pointed a finger up your way again. “Last night was weird- and today- you talk to people like a weirdo- I heard you- you make them do things- right? You have superpowers?” 

...was it… was it really that obvious? Maybe you should consider exactly how you presented yourself… 

“And last night- when that guy had me- I felt weird- the way you were talking to him-” Oh. So you were just… not careful enough. Something you’d definitely have to work on. “And my dad… just- say it. Say you have superpowers.” He needed confirmation. Needed it. Needed this all to make sense. 

Taking a deep breath, you steadied yourself. It was always strange. Getting caught this way. Having to admit it. “Alright, Harley.” You win. “I have superpowers.” 

“That’s…” He was about to deliver judgment, thinking as his head dove down. It was odd, how much apprehension was clawing at you then. You cared that much what he thought? But when he looked up there was a sharp grin on his lips. “That’s so cool.” 

Tony waved a hand at him. “No one can know about this.” 

He quickly turned confused. “Why?” 

You and Tony shared a glance. Then you decided to field that. “I… I don’t want anyone to know. Maybe not forever. But not right now.” 

“But why? You work with Dr. Banner- and Thor- and Captain America!” Making the easy assumption that because all these people had enhanced strengths, it wasn’t a big deal for one more person on the team to admit they did, too. 

“But I didn’t always, Harley.” For a little while… it was just you and Tony against the world. Sometimes it still felt like that… “This… this is private, to me. I don’t want the world to know.” 

He huffed, sitting in a heap on the couch. Frustrated again, not being able to understand. “I don’t get it. Why? It doesn’t make sense.” 

Slowly, you and Tony both lowered to sit, Tony closer, and you on the outside. This conversation was already taking a toll on you. Which was why you were glad when Tony spoke up again. “It’s complicated, kid. We live a very public life. Sometimes when you have something like that… you just want it for yourself. You don’t want other people to know your business.” 

Harley was trying to contend with this information. To make it work in his brain. He peered up at Tony. “...do you have superpowers, too?” 

Tony grinned. “Just money and genius. Sharp wit. Wonderful sense of humor. And-” 

“Those aren’t superpowers.” Crossing his arms defiantly. ...had you suddenly become cooler than Tony? 

Laying a hand on Tony’s knee, you defended him. “They are when you use them the right way. You don’t need superpowers to be a hero, Harley. You just need to do the right thing when the moment comes. And when you’re able to. That’s part of the reason why I don’t want people to know. I want them to just see me as I am. Just a person doing their best. ...does that make sense?” 

“I dunno.” He shrugged, slumping down in his spot. “I guess.” As he thought on this more, you and Tony shared another look. There was a nervous flutter that was pinging back and forth between the two of you. “...you made my dad go away. Forever? You’re sure? -with your powers?” 

“I did, yes.” Admitting it. Just… straight up admitting it. There was nothing to hide behind anymore. “And I’m sorry- if… that wasn’t what you wanted.” Part of you wanted to excuse your behavior. You were the adult. You knew best. This was the only way. There wasn’t a lot of time to ask permission- anything. Any of it. But. You let the apology stand as it was. 

You were sorry for interfering with his life. And that was that. 

Harley regarded you. For a long enough time to make you anxious. You tried to hold still underneath his gaze. Eventually his eyes dropped and he shrugged. His voice was so quiet it was hard to hear, especially with him mumbling quickly. Which was why you assumed he was doing it. “As long as he doesn’t hurt my mom and sister anymore.” No mention of himself. That was fine. That wasn’t for you unless he decided it was. “It’s fine. Whatever. ...thankyou.” Another much quicker mumble this time. 

There was a weight with this that made it impossible to accept the gratitude. Instead… you decided to be selfish. “Harley… not many people know about me. I’d like to keep it that way.” 

You had no choice in this matter now. It would be a terrible burden to prove, for a child. Probably not a lot of people would believe him even if he went on a diatribe about it. But that wasn’t really the important thing here. The important thing was you were going to have to trust him. 

He gave another shrug. Not a good sign. But, when he found his courage again, he looked up. “You did me a favor so… I’ll do you one, too.” 

“Thank you, Harley.” Meaning it as much as you possibly could. 

A sudden strike of sadness rocked you as it rolled off from him. He had his head down again. “...does this mean I have to go home now?” Putting two and two together. He really was a smart kid. Realizing that you and Tony must have known- or- by now anyway had figured out about his father. About his home situation- knew it a little more completely than when he’d first spoken to Tony when he’d arrived. Knew why he’d come here. Why he’d run away. And now that that was cleared… 

You felt another wave of tiredness overtake you. This was too much for one day. You laid your head on Tony’s shoulder, signaling you needed him to make the decision on this one- and that you’d stand by whatever it was. He hesitated. Unsure. But, finally… “You’re still on the hook for the Internship program, kid. Can’t send you home until you finish all your lab work. Probably not until the end of the month.” 

                                                       ----

Though you would have liked to use Sunday as another day for recuperation, things were piling up that you needed to address. Now that there was no fear of Harley’s family situation… it was time to do something you maybe should have done in the first place. Which was call his mother. 

A phone call that wasn’t exactly fun or easy, but she seemed more concerned with that Harley was alright- as well as… “...the news is reporting that Jeremy came and attacked you, is that true?” 

It wasn’t the best feeling lying to her. “Yes. He came looking for Harley. My team is still looking into it, but I believe an antagonistic media station put him on a plane and promised him money to make a scene.” 

“...sounds like something he’d agree to. Look- I’m real sorry about all this- this… it’s an embarrassment. Everyone is talking about it.” 

“Don’t be sorry. Everything is okay. I’m sorry, for not getting in touch sooner. I… Tony just wanted to make sure Harley would be okay.” At least there was some truth to this. 

She sighed. “Yeah. I understand. ...is he okay?” 

“I think he’ll be alright. He’s a really smart kid. And sensitive, even though he won’t admit it. If it’s okay with you, we’d like for him to complete the internship program. He actually was doing schoolwork, while he was here.” Though Tony had promised Harley he could stay… it really wasn’t up to the two of you any longer. You weren’t his parents. 

The silence on the other end made you nervous. But finally, “Yeah. I guess that’s best. Thanks for looking out for him.” Before you could accept the gratitude- or deny it in the face of doing what any decent person might, she laughed lightly. “It’s the strangest thing… talking to you. That he’s there. I could hardly believe it, when my neighbor called- seeing his face all over the news.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“He got wrapped up in something huge, that boy. That’s for sure. Least I’ll say is thank you. For everything you’ve done. Not just for him. For everybody. ...and for me, too.” The last part came out quieter, almost like she kind of didn’t want you to hear it. 

Apple hadn’t fallen far from the tree, that was for sure. “Jeremy won’t come back. I promise you that. Whatever help you need-”

“Look. Thanks and all- and for that, too- but we’re alright. Just. Take care of him and we’re square.” Rebuffing you immediately. But that was fair. This was raw, and also none of your business. You didn’t know this woman. Probably never would. 

“Sure. No problem.” This was the best you were going to get. And considering there were a million other ways it could have gone, most of them bad, this was good. You’d have to leave it at that. 

                                                       ----

Monday morning bright and early you met with the press in the Stark Industries’ media room to talk about the events at the charity gala and the attack in Central Park. With the police investigating (along with Damage Control and Coulson’s small possibly-still-SHIELD team) there weren’t a lot of details that you could release. Nothing about SHIELD or Hydra, which was fine. Making it look like a bunch of losers who wanted to make a statement was more beneficial to you than anything else. And, of course, Team Iron was proud to do their duty and save civilians. 

Because you didn’t have enough evidence yet- though you were sure you’d find it- you couldn’t publicly pin WHiH for what happened in the park, for that man being there- or for attacking you. This lie was a little easier. The man was scum. And Tony was right. You’d given him a mercy he maybe didn’t deserve, letting him walk away like that. But you had regardless, so now all there was to do was to make sure the public knew you and Tony had done the right thing, Harley was an innocent that needed to be left alone in this case, and that because you were sure he wasn’t coming back (and because you’d kicked his ass) you weren’t pressing charges. 

Being the better person never felt great, but in this instance with the media running headlines about how benevolent you were… it was okay. 

Harley had two whole weeks to complete the month (and the Internship, technically) and he really did make the most of his time. With the weight of the world lifted off his shoulders, he focused more in the lab. Tony, and even Bruce, seemed pretty ecstatic with whatever they were working on. Sometimes, some afternoons, he’d even spend time in your office learning things about the business. And, yes… even filing papers every once in a while. 

You’d asked Deja for a consult on a therapist for him, and even though he’d dragged his feet and threw just a small tantrum about the idea… it was Tony stepping up to the plate and talking about how he saw Deja once a week (...though you wondered if that was true. You knew he’d been seeing her but it seemed like he’d been too busy lately to stick to a schedule…) that helped Harley acclimate to the idea of talking to somebody. There was no telling if it was working or if he was putting in the work in the small sessions you slated for him but… it was a start. 

Tony had started to become most insufferable… in a terribly good way. Every day he’d leave you with lingering kisses in the morning, long touches in the kitchen while he was making dinner at night, too-close snuggles at night, a little falling apart together in the bathroom after a shower that you’d have to put an end to. He was driving you crazy, but you certainly weren’t blameless… still. You had said not until things were over, and they weren’t until Harley went home. It was a promise you stuck to, no matter how much it was killing the both of you. Easier, though, considering you really didn’t want to get hot and heavy with a child close by. 

Before sending him home, you coordinated with Tony to revamp his garage a second time and set up a small Internship Trust Fund for him- with his mother’s permission, of course. Under the guise of it being his reward for completing his work as well as he did, there really wasn’t any pushback. And you guessed that money was money. Good no matter what. 

You also did your due diligence, before getting on the jet with Harley to bring him home, of stocking up on some very choice Lady Iron merch and toys for his little sister. He had said you were her favorite, after all. And that couldn’t have been more apparent than when she shrieked at seeing you, got shy, and then warmed up eventually- asking for just about a million hugs, for you to come look at her drawings that she’d made of you (one of which she requested an autograph that you couldn’t deny), and eventually just cried when you gave her everything you’d brought. Completely overwhelmed, over-the-moon, and grateful. 

Maybe kids weren’t so bad. 

You shared another awkward but delicate moment with Harley’s mother over a cup of tea, while Tony took Harley through a tour of his new garage, and you were sure gave him instructions to science only with the best of intentions. By the time you left, you saw the neighborhood kids all clamored around talking loudly while Tony- accidentally you were sure- blew something up in the lab. 

“Controlled experiment, honey. Everything went just as planned.” He’d said when he caught your stare. 

To your surprise some of the kids (both girls and boys) made some noise when they caught sight of you. Held up figures and posters, pining for autographs and selfies. And your marketing department had said Lady Iron figures wouldn’t sell. Hah. You obliged them, if only because it made Harley look cool. That he knew the both of you. But eventually the time came for all of this mess to finally end. 

With the sun setting and the crowd sent home, you and Tony stood outside the car on the sidewalk, all smiles. Harley was hesitant and… just a little sad. But that was to be expected. “...can I come back again?” 

“Sure thing, kid. Just, this time ask your mom, first. Less work for us to do.” Tony gave him a gentle push to his shoulder. 

“You’re the first representative of the Stark Internship Program. We’ll have to have you back eventually so you can help us rework the next iteration.” Trying not to be all business, but, hey… while you were here, it still had to look mostly official. And, maybe there was something to this little program. It had been sitting on the back burner for so long. Maybe some good would come out of giving it a kickstart. 

“Oh. Well good. Because I have some notes.” Revving up his sarcasm with a wide grin. 

“Email them to me and we can have a conference next week.” Grinning right on back. 

Tony shook his head. “She’ll put you to actual work, think very carefully about this.” 

“Because she’s scary.” Crossing his arms then, giving the both of you knowing looks. 

You couldn’t help a smile. “Damn right.” Goodbyes were hard. And maybe a little uncomfortable. Nobody seemed to know what to do or say- maybe because none of you were actually ready for this to be over. But with the sun setting and the temperature dropping, you knew you were going to have to be the brave one- 

...except that Harley ducked in front of you to give you a quick hug. It surprised you, completely. Making your response a little more stilted than you would have liked, as you put one arm around him. He mumbled into your jacket, “Thankyou.” Meaning it no less just because it was quiet. 

“You’re welcome.” Lowering your voice, giving him the impression you didn’t mind sharing this private moment with him.

When he let go of you he turned to Tony, but became infinitely more uneasy about the prospect of doing the same. ...and it hurt, a little, that Tony was mirroring that very same emotion. You couldn’t place why… just something about it stung. It would have been nice for him to be able to open up that much… give that much… 

But he stuck out his hand, because the two of them had spent too long just staring at each other. “Until next time, kid.” 

Harley put his hand in Tony’s, giving him a loose shake, smiling up at him. “Yeah. Next time.” 

It was remarkably hard to say goodbye. When the month started, when the two of you had first met, you wouldn’t have believed it would be this tough. But, you had to be strong. This was over now. Life had to get back to normal for everyone. And… you really would see him again eventually. Taking Tony by the hand you left down the long gravel walk, both turning back to wave at all three members of the family, his sister and mother having appeared in the doorway. 

Then, thankfully, Tony opened your door for you, and you brushed his hand with yours softly, a small intimate thank you, smiling at him in much the same way, before getting in. After he closed the door for you, he moved around the front of the car and got in on the driver’s side. 

He was quick to turn the keys and rev the engine, perhaps even a little too quick, as well, as he pulled out and onto the road. Once there, as he turned on the radio, you reached over, settling a hand on his thigh. “Tony…” 

He quirked half a grin. “Yes, honey?” 

“Our bags are packed?” 

“Yes, dear.” 

“You have a flight plan? The jet is refueled?” 

“Yes and yes, my love.” 

Vacation time was now. You’d demanded it without actually demanding it. But he understood. This had been a trying time, for many reasons. And… well, he’d promised once it was over the two of you would leave. So you’d left the planning up to him. It was why the two of you were really just teasing each other…

But he really had no clue. As your hand squeezed, he couldn’t quite cover for the small hitch of breath. That little spark of excitement. His firmer grip on the wheel. Worsening when you shifted, leaning over to brush your lips at the shell of his ear and murmur, “Do you have any idea how much I need you?” 

You caught the raise of his brow and the warm of his grin in your peripheral. But it was really the heat between the both of you that spoke the loudest. “I think I have some idea. But. I’m very open to hearing you out.” 

Nuzzling the connecting spot where his jaw met his neck, you nibbled lightly. This was no way to bookend what had really been something lightly traumatic, extremely dramatic, and maybe a little telling. In a smaller whisper you imparted to him, “I love you.” 

And, coming to a red light, he tipped his head a little back and to the side, brushing his nose against yours, eyes half-lidded and beautifully deep. “I love you, too.” 

That was more like it. 

[winryofresembool]

Fic: Kittens and grandparents

Summary: Al and Mei visit the Curtises with Ed and Winry’s kids and encounter a cat problem.

A/N: /Finally/. @finalcam, here’s your giveaway fic! You wished for Izumi and Sig baby sitting the Edwin kids, with hints of Al and Mei, and I tried my best to do it in quite few words. This has honestly more Almei focus than Sig and Izumi but I still hope you enjoy! Once again I have @randomlyopeneddictionary to thank for this idea. What would I do without your help? As usual, comments are very much loved. 

Characters: Al, Mei, Sig, Izumi, Edwin kids Alan and Emma (no Ed or Winry tho WHAT IS LIFE?)

Words: 1650+ (more than planned but since I made you wait, I guess that’s OK)

Genre: general, a tiny bit fluffy (because of the cat :D)

warnings: none

“Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?”

Two kids, a 4-year-old boy with golden hair and equally golden eyes and a 2-year-old girl with a slightly lighter shade of blonde hair and azure blue eyes, were getting impatient. Only a little while ago they had been so excited to get onto a train with their aunt and uncle who were spending the summer in Rush Valley as their family’s guests. However, based on the amount of seat kicking and bickering about the smallest things, they seemed to have forgotten about the excitement already.

The kids’ parents had seemed visibly relieved when Al had suggested he and Mei would love to take the kids with them to see “granny Izumi” in Dublith. It didn’t take Al too long to understand why; the two Rockbell-Elric children could be angelic when they wanted to be, but they were just as stubborn as Edward and Winry were, and also impatient. They had only been on the train for an hour, but this was probably the third time Emma and Alan started chanting the question that was familiar to a lot of traveling parents in unison. Al had hoped that maybe a good meal at the restaurant car would help, but it seemed to make the kids even more energetic than before. Two more hours to go. Thank goodness they didn’t have to travel to Dublith all the way from Resembool…

As the large buildings of Dublith finally started to show, both Al and Mei sighed of relief. At least when they’d make it to the Curtis household they could trust the kids to behave well because they seemed to respect Izumi in a way that neither them or Ed and Winry could never reach. Besides, Sig had a habit of sneaking an extra piece of the kids’ favorite sausage on the sandwich when they were acting nice (as long as they wouldn’t tell Izumi), and it seemed bribery worked pretty well on Emma and Alan too.

Once the kids had gotten their stomachs full (Al and Mei wondered how they could fit all those sandwiches there after the proper meal on the train), they went to take a nap, giving Al and Mei a good opportunity to go outside to see all the familiar places where Al had wandered as a child. Devil’s Nest seemed to be empty at that moment, and Al felt chills in his core as he remembered some not so happy memories from that place. Sensing what he was feeling, Mei squeezed his hand to pull him back from his thoughts, and he smiled at her gratefully.

Continuing their walk, Al noticed that Xiao-Mei who was sitting on Mei’s shoulder seemed to get irritated by something she saw. Her ears went flat and she emited small hissing sounds. The reason for the panda’s reaction became clear soon; Al heard a tiny “meow” behind a box someone had left on the sidewalk. The small furball peeked at them nervously, probably wanting to run away but not knowing to which direction it should go.

“Mei? Could you… make sure Xiao-Mei doesn’t run anywhere? I’m gonna… try to talk to this little pal.”

Mei wanted to protest but put the tiny panda into her bag and saw Al starting to approach the cat. He walked really slowly, not wanting to scare it away, talking to it in a calm and quiet voice. Somehow, he managed to gain the kitten’s trust and soon it was sitting on his hand while he was petting it with the other one.

“Alphonse?” Mei asked carefully. “You do know that someone might be looking for that cat, missing it dearly?”

“But look at it! It’s so small and alone, and it’s gonna be cold tonight. I can’t leave it here!”

“Fine,” Mei gave in. “But just for tonight. You will start looking for its owner tomorrow, will you not?”

“Sure thing, my princess. But just because she’s insisting,” he whispered to the kitten, lifting it close to his face so he could snuggle his cheek against the soft fur.

“Meow!”

…

Some time later, the couple returned to the Curtises to find Al’s nephew and niece already awake. Alan, who was already good at reading people’s emotions, sensed that Al was hiding something, and asked:

“Uncle Al? Why do you look so funny?”

“Yes, Alphonse-dear, do you have something you would like to share with the kids?” Mei asked slyly, and Al had to pull the kitten from his pocket.

“Kitty, kitty!” Emma yelled excitedly. From very early on she had showed interest in animals. The new dog at home had gotten more pats from her than anyone else in the household, but for some reason her parents didn’t let her get a cat.

“Shhh, Emma, please don’t be so loud… If Izumi hears…” Al said, clearly very nervous about his old teacher’s possible reaction.

“If she hears what?” Sig asked, entering the room at a critical moment. Al felt like a school kid again when he tried to push the tiny cat into his pocket, but not before Sig saw what he had in his hands.

“Alphonse, aren’t you a bit too old for that already? You know how Izumi feels about cats. Especially after your brother managed to talk her into keeping that one when you lived here…”

“Did daddy have a cat?” Alan asked curiously when he understood they were talking about Edward.

“Well, he helped me get one when we were little…” Al answered, still looking a bit awkward.

“It was quite a funny story too. Do you kids want to hear it?” Sig asked, smiling at the memories.

“YES!” they shouted in unison.

“Fine. Once Edward and Alphonse found a kitten on our neighbor’s backyard and overheard the neighbor wanted to get rid of it. When she left the house for a moment later that day, the boys snuck the cat into their room even though they knew Izumi would be mad if she found out. Apparently she had had bad experiences with cats as a kid. The neighbor was of course very happy when she couldn’t find the cat anywhere, but my wife got suspicious when she heard they had disappeared. You just don’t keep secrets from her, especially if you’re living under her roof.”

“Anyway…” Sig cleared his throat. “Not much later, she found the boys hanging out in their closet instead of doing their homework, and… it was pretty scary, even for me. But Ed didn’t budge. He had seen how important the cat was to Al, and he wanted his little brother to have this one nice thing, even if it meant he’d get his, um, butt, kicked for it. So, when Izumi asked, why the boys had hidden a cat in their closet, Ed looked her straight into eyes with a very serious expression, and said: “All is one, one is all, that’s what you taught us. We are learning about the circle of life by making it eat the mice in the closet.””

Emma looked a little bit upset when she heard the cat ate other animals, so Sig continued quickly: “Anyway, Izumi just stared at him for a while, before bursting into the loudest laughter I had heard in a long while. Then she just shook her head and mumbled something about the nerve the boys had, but after that the cat was never talked about again. It got to stay in our garage until the boys left back to Resembool. After that we searched a new home for it.”

“Sig? Why are you telling them about the only soft moment I have ever had?” a woman’s voice suddenly said behind the group, and Sig’s ears turned bright red.

“No reason, honey!”

The kitten in Al’s pocket decided to start meowing in that moment, and Izumi rolled her eyes.

“Alphonse, have you still not stopped picking random cats from the streets? Who knows what illnesses they might carry…”

“But teacher… I mean Mrs. Curtis… It’s so small, and it’s gonna be a cold night…” Al stuttered. Mei wondered what exactly had happened during the brothers’ apprenticeship that made an adult man so nervous. He hadn’t been that nervous in front of her father, the previous Emperor of Xing, when she had introduced Al to him.

Everyone was surprised when the little Alan stepped in: “Granma Izumi, it’s not…” he struggled with the words a bit, “… eqi… equivalent exchange if we get to sleep in our warm beds but the cat has to sleep on a cold street!”

It was the first time anyone had ever called Izumi a grandma (the kids had called her that at home but never in front of Izumi herself), and that alone was enough to soften her heart. But she also realized how much the boy reminded her of his father, using alchemy phrases and all, and couldn’t help but smile a bit when she answered:

“You know what, Alan? I guess you’re right. He may stay here tonight. Just tonight, though. Tomorrow you will try to find his home, right?”

“Alright,” Alan agreed, and Izumi patted him on his head.

Watching the kids (and Al) having fun with the kitten later that day, Izumi felt the weird kind of happiness in her chest that she didn’t remember feeling after the boys had left Dublith. Finally, she managed to name the feeling; she was grateful and proud that Ed and Al had managed to go so far in their lives; Alphonse was back in his body, living with a girl he would soon marry, still loving kitties as much as he always had. And Edward’s two children were happy and healthy (and dare she say, quite nosy already), and if they were anything like their parents, they would do well in this world. And that was all she could hope for.

[eerythingisshaka]

Pt. 2: The Wine Down

(M’Baku x Black!OC)

Word Count: 1.9k

Part 1

A/N:This is a continuation of my Day 24 Fictober prompt.  I recommend going back to that if you want to enjoy this fully!  This will be a short little series, probably five chapters or less.  Let’s just see how it goes!

When Gina trotted backstage, wiping her brow elated, her friend Chandra was beaming at her.

“Ok!  We got a full session tonight!  Good job!”  

They shared a high five as she primped her makeup.  “Yeah, and the funny thing is, it was a guy I knew actually.”

Chandra stared at Gina suspiciously.  “Uh-huh, is he gonna be a problem or…”

Gina waves her off.  “No!  At least I don’t think so, I just met him today anyway.”

Chandra scoffs.  “If this don’t sound like some stalker shit, then I don’t know what is!  You meet a guy and a few hours after that he is showing up at your job?”

Gina takes a sip of water, rolling her eyes.  “It’s not like that!  Listen, let me do my rounds out here really quick and I’ll tell you all about it, ok?”

Gina got herself ready to serve patrons out in the lobby drinks and snacks as they played pool and lounged before and after a show.  She could here the raucous crowd as she began to step from behind the curtains of the dressing room and it was a boisterous crowd indeed.  A bunch of well dressed and rowdy Black men scattered about the room with cigars talk to one another in pockets of conversation.  Before Gina could make her way to the bar area, she saw him.  

He was standing by a chair, bent over talking to a friend sitting down who seemed to have had more than he could handle.  Gina scurried back to the other side of the curtain, running into Chandra, heart threatening to pop right out of her chest.

“Damn, Gina!  What the hell is going on?”  She exclaims.

Gina fans her face as she sits down in agony.  “He is still here, right outside.”

Chandra trots to the curtain, peeking.  “Which one??  Looks like it’s a bachelor party!”

You describe his hulking build and appearance ad Chandra spots him.  “Oh ho ho.  Girl, he is beautiful.  Mm, filling.”

“Don’t be gross, Chandra, dang!”  Gina moans.

“What can I say?  That’s a meal that’ll stick to your bones, honey.  You got a good palate after all.  No way in hell you can go out there though, rules and shit.”

Gina nods.  “I know, and trust me I don’t want to.”

Chandra looks at Gina pitifully.  “If you wanna take off, you can.  I’ll let Dean and them know you weren’t feeling good or something.”

Gina gets up to hug Chandra gratefully.  Chandra was a grad student in the physical therapy field.  She wanted to help children who suffered from debilitating illness and traumatic events push through their disabilities to live normal lives.  So, in the end, they had a lot in common being two working girls hustling for an education.  Before Gina started at the club, she prayed she wouldn’t find herself in a Player’s Club type of situation, but thankfully things never were like that for her, especially with Chandra’s guidance.

“Thanks, Chan.  I owe you one for real.”  Gina changes herself into some regular clothes before making her way to the back exit, and out of the door.

A  couple days later, after hours upon hours of studying, Gina was ready to take her microbiology exam.  The lecture hall was fullest at this time naturally, but long as she had a seat, that test was going to go down with a TKO.  And she was sure of herself when she walked out, having completed it.  She put in enough time where the test almost felt like she wrote it herself.  The answers just flowed from her onto the bubbles on her scantron and she felt better than ever for its completion.  It was time to celebrate.

After a much needed nap, Gina woke up in the evening to head over to the store.  She had a How to Get Away with Murder marathon waiting, and all she needed was some drink to wash all those ridiculous Final Destination-like plot twists down.

Heading to the liquor section, Gina perused the categories of Vodka, Rum, Brandy, Beer, and all the wine varieties before settling on a semi-sweet red that was locally made.  The price wasn’t bad, so she got another one in a sweet white before heading around to the register.

Then came the collision.

Gina tensed up as she came into contact with a big figure, nearly dropping her bottle out of her basket.

“Oh!  Sorry, I didn’t s-”

The figure started to apologize and the voice was very recognizable to Gina as she looked up at him and saw his face, appearing to have seen a ghost with that kind of expression.

Silence fell between them as their eyes locked on one another, not saying anything but saying everything that was spinning around in their minds.  When his eyes fell out of focus, Gina shuffled her weight, preparing to leave.

“It’s nothing, thanks.”  Gina muttered as she walked around M’Baku.

“Wait!”  He calls out.  

Gina stops, cursing under her breath as she turns around.  “Yeah?”

M’Baku looked around nervously, walking up to Gina with a half smile.  “Do you not remember me?”

Gina could’ve fallen through the floor at that moment and it would’ve been a nicer situation than her current one.  “Listen, I don’t know what you think you know, but I’m-”

“The produce aisle?  With the viruses and disease, right?”  M’Baku says slowly and expectantly.

Gina closed her eyes, exhaling sharply.  His politeness was barely making this easier as she kicked herself for her past brazenness.

“Riiiight….still, I’m kind of in a hurry, so…”

“Have to pop those wines bottles in an ice bucket, I get it.”  M’Baku chuckles.  “But I’m sorry if I am overstepping.  It’s not my intention to make you uncomfortable, we just had a nice conversation the other day.”

Gina stares him down.  “M’Baku, are you talking to me for THAT or for what you saw?”

M’Baku took a deep breath.  “I hoped you remembered my name.  It’s foreign to America’s standards, so that’s even better on you, Gina.”  

Gina scoffs.  “I’m glad you are impressed.  But so you know, something that does not impress me is a question not being answered.”  Gin turns on her heels to walk down the aisle.  

As she sets her items for self-checkout, M’Baku posts up at the checkout beside her.  “I didn’t want to be rude.  I figured I should not lead with...that as a part of us reintroducing ourselves, if we met again.”

Gina tries running the white wine across the bar code reader and it refuses to scan.  She sets it down frustratedly.  “Do you think I am ashamed of it?  That it is  secret life or something?”

M’Baku walks over to take the bottle of wine.  “Never said any of those things.”

“You didn’t have to, I can tell.”  Gina slides her card, grabbing the wine as the receipt prints.  M’Baku rings up the white wine without issue.  “I knew you were intelligent with your facts on foodborne illnesses, but I didn’t think you would be a fool when it comes to getting to know a person.”

Gina whipped around to M’Baku in shock.  “Is that what you think?  I’m foolish?  Then tell me, why exactly are you trying to talk to me if not for my club performance, huh?”  Gina crossed her arms waiting on bated breath for M’Baku to respond.

Calmly, he finished his transaction with the white wine, bagging it up.  “You are adorable when you find yourself to be right.  It was pleasing to watch when you discussed the fruits with me, discussed our backgrounds.  Made me feel I was christened by a Queen, even though your appearance was humble, I could tell that you held yourself in high regard.  I wanted so badly to know you more but the timing just wasn’t there, and I didn’t sense you would take my number, so I left it in Hanuman’s hands.”

“Hanuman?”  she asked.

“Oh, yes.  It is part of my religion, which I can go into depth more if you wanted to crack open this wine?”  M’Baku raised his eyebrows as he held to bottle out to her.

Gina pursed her mouth.  “I didn’t ask you to buy that for me.”

M’Baku groans.  “The amount of assumptions you make, I am surprised you are not a philosophy major!  Let me be nice to you, I have not brought up a single weird or out of place comment, and that will not happen if you would give me a chance.”

Gina took the bottle, looking at it as she mulled over the possibilities.  He was right, not once did he even bring up her stage performance, but that would come up eventually, no doubt.  He got the wine, but wasn’t expecting anything, though still she didn’t know him like that.  But she kept pepper spray and lived in an apartment with nosy neighbors and thin walls, so maybe this wouldn’t be a worst case scenario.  

“Ok, you have charmed me into submission!”  Gina says.

M’Baku kisses his teeth.  “I won’t go where I’m not wanted.  I don’t force myself where I m not allowed entry.  So please, enjoy your wine, I’ll be on my way.”  

As he walks off, Gina calls to him.  “What?  Wait!  I thought you wanted to come over!”

M’Baku continues to walk out of the automatic door.  Gina stands there frustrated a moment before taking off after him.

“M’Baku!  Hang on a second, will you!”  

He stops at his car to unlock the doors before turning to her.  “Yes, Ms. Gina?”

She huffs as she takes her phone out clumsily while balancing the bottles.  “Let me at least get your number so I can get back with you...”

M’Baku smirks as he takes the bottles from her, holding them easily under his meaty arms as he typed.  Giving the phone back, Gina looked it over before putting it away.

“I texted you, so…”  Gina mutters in a low voice.

M’Baku stands against his car holding the wine.  “You know, you are a good dancer, technically.  Good control.”

“Annnd there it is!”  Gina says laughing.

M’Baku shrugs.  “It does not influence my desire to know you, however.  I wondered what you may think of me, being a patron!  It was my first time at something like that, the groom and best man had covered us to be able to enjoy ourselves fully for the night, and needless to say I maxed out.”

Gina smiles, looking at her feet.  “I know, I saw the party afterwards.  I snuck out early so I wouldn’t run into you.”

“Yet here we are…but you probably have readings to do and the like, so...”  M’Baku says, studying her face intensely.  Gina got a vibe from him that pulled her closer, she wanted to know more about this foreign man who was taken with her.  Plus it warmed her for him to have  remembered her name, her studies, and not taking her shit.  She had already had her nap, so she was far from tired.

“I actually, just finished an exam, so I’m on a break!”

M’Baku smiles genuinely.  “I’m sure you did well.”

“I know I did, like taking candy from a baby.”  Gina clears her throat.  “So, if anything tonight could be a good night to...hang out?  I just wanted to chill, so if you're cool with boring, you can come by.”

M’Baku stands up from his car, hands folded in front of him as he stands right in front of Gina, looking down at her pleasantly.  “That sounds like a plan to me.”

Masterlist

[ugh-supersoldiers]

Paradise

MASTERLIST

Characters: Bucky x reader

Summary: You recount the story of how you and Bucky first met to your grandson, who’s just recently gotten engaged.

Warnings: angst, nostalgia, mentions of death, happy endng though :)

Words: 5163

You sat in your rocking chair on your porch with a sigh. You’d spent most of the day gardening, figuring it was better than sitting inside with a book, but after a while your joints began to hurt too much, and you needed to take a break. Your fingers ached at the fault of your arthritis that had set in years ago, and you struggled to wrap them around your tea cup that rested on a saucer on the arm of your chair.

A blanket rested on your lap as you listened to the quiet sound of music that played from the radio in your kitchen.

“Gran!” You heard a voice call out.

You looked up to see the smiling face of your grandson as he got out of his car and closed the door behind him.

“What a surprise!” You said happily, opting to stay sitting as the discomfort of getting up would be too much for you.

“I’ve missed you.” He said, bending down to give you a hug, which you happily accepted.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” You laughed as he sat in the arm chair next to yours. Your heart wrenched, that was Bucky’s chair after all.

“Well, I have really great news, gran, and I wanted you to be the first one to know.” He said, clearly over the moon as he reached for your hands to hold in his own.

You couldn’t help but laugh at his antics, he was always so quick to get excited about things. You’d learned that when his mother had gotten very ill when he was a child and he stayed with you and Bucky for around a year until your daughter’s health improved. You got to know you grandson, James, better during that time, and the bond that you had with him had stayed firm throughout time.

Now a dashing young man into his late twenties, you couldn’t help but admire how much he reminded you of his grandfather so many years ago.

“Gran, you remember Spencer, don’t you?” He asked, his eyes crinkling at the sides.

“Do I remember the boy you’ve had around since college? Dear, my memory isn’t that bad.” You ruffled his hair.

“Well, we were out on a walk today and we stopped by the spot where he first asked me on a date and when I turned back around he was on one knee!” You watched as your grandson showed you the gold wedding band on his finger and it brought tears to your eyes.

“This is wonderful!” You cried out, pulling him in for a hug, “I am so happy for you, darling.”

Your only grandson was now off to get married, and you couldn’t believe it. Thinking about the wonderful things that he was going to do in his married life made your heart swell. You couldn’t help but remember the excitement.

You twisted your wedding ring around your finger and sighed, a bittersweet feeling washing over you.

“I wish your grandfather could’ve been here to share this moment with us.” You said with a sad smile.

Your grandson kissed your hand gently and rubbed his thumb along your knuckles, “Me too, gran.” He said.

“Always a charmer,” You remarked, “Must’ve gotten that from your namesake.”

“Y’know, I always forget that his name was James, I never heard you call him that.” James smiled brightly at you, remembering the way you and his grandfather used to interact.

“He was always Bucky to me, unless he was in trouble.”

“He must’ve never been in trouble.” Your grandson laughed.

“Oh, he was only ever in trouble when you weren’t around.”

You loved talking to James, it made your heart feel full. When he was born, it was like the excitement of having a baby had returned again to yours and Bucky’s life. Now he had gone and grown up, and you couldn’t help but ask where the time went.

“Gran, can I ask you something?”

“Of course, dear.”

“How did you and grandpa meet? I don’t think I ever heard the story.”

Your eyes lit up, “You really wanna know?” You asked him.

“Based on that reaction, I’m gonna have to let you decide if or if I don’t want to know.” He chuckled.

“Pour yourself some tea, honey, this is a long one.”

You were a brave young woman, always had been. Never once had (Y/N) (Y/L/N) ever shied away from anything in her life, and you sure as hell weren’t about to start now.

It was 1943, the war was raging. You desperately wanted to help, but there was very little that a woman could do at the time. So when the offer of being a showgirl in a travelling company came up, you figured this was your chance. If you couldn’t fight the war yourself, you might as well cheer a few soldiers up, right?

You never expected to be launched into the line of showgirls for Brooklyn’s own Captain America. It started small, a few shows of singing and dancing and Steve Rogers up at the front, encouraging the audience to buy bonds. Then you went to bigger stages, got better costumes, learned flashier routines. Once you were even hoisted above Captain America’s while sitting on a motorcycle.

You life had become a whirlwind, city to city, coast to coast. Soon, you traveled from America to different countries, visiting the troops. Finally, it felt like you were actually doing your part. Even if you were just a pair of legs to the men, at least it was something else for them to focus on other than the hell around them.

After a particularly rough show, you stayed in the tent with the other girls for a night when news that the front runner of the show, Captain America himself, had gone missing. Most of the girls were laying around in the tent or napping, but you figured you’d get a head start on the makeup and hair process so you could help the other girls out after just in case the show went on tonight.

You’d pin curled your hair and applied your makeup, wearing a blue dress you’d brought with you that your mother had helped you make yourself. It reminded you of home, and it comforted you while you were away.

You heard yelling outside of your tent, and watched the other girls stir awake at the ruckus.

“Stay here.” You told them as you opened the tent curtain to see what the fuss was about.

You saw an entire brigade of men walking back into the camp, lead by Steve Rogers. You couldn’t believe your eyes, you’d figured that if the Captain had been stupid enough to go out on his own and save some of the trapped battalion, he was a goner for sure.

You ventured out of the tent, making your way over to the soldiers, still keeping a subtle distance away from them.

“Let’s hear it for Captain America!” You heard a man yell. Your eyes landed on him and you felt your heart race. He was something to admire, that one.

You smiled at the group of men, clapping for the rescue of their friends, some of them being rushed off to the med bays if they needed a medic.

The soldiers began to make their way back to their respective tents in hopes of getting a few hours of shut eye as the sunset. You, on the other hand, stayed outside of your tent and walked the grounds.

You came across one of the nurses, struggling with a bundle of bandages. You offered her a hand, which she so gratefully accepted.

“Thank you! Say, aren’t you supposed to be in scrubs?” She asked.

“Oh, no. I’m just a show-”

“I need a medic!” Someone called out, and you couldn’t help but follow the rushing nurse to find a man laying out on one of the med bay stretchers, pale as anything, a gash in his leg bigger than you’d ever seen. It was clearly infected, and needed to be treated before you ran the risk of further infection.

The soldier who had called for medical attention, stood above the man. You recognized him instantly, this was the one that you’d been smitten with before.You couldn’t help but stare at the bright blue eyes he had.

“Do you have any peroxide?” You demanded of the nurse next to you, snapping yourself out of your daydream.

“Um…” She answered, scratching her head as she dropped a few more of the bandages in her hand. She was clearly useless in this situation.

You turned to the other soldier, “Liquor,” You said, “I need some.”

“Not that I don’t admire a dame who can handle a drink-”

“Not for me, smartass, liquor will clean this out just as good as peroxide. Now go and find me some of it before your friend has to lose his leg, damnit.”

The soldiers eyes widened, “Yes, ma’am.” He said with a curt nod, rushing out to fetch a bottle of the vodka that he’d stashed away.

He gave it to you, and you warned the injured man about the sting he was going to feel. You twisted open the cap and dumped some onto his leg. He grunted in pain, but you were quick to dress his leg, taking the bandages from the nurse behind you who stood there like a dear in the headlights.

“I’ll, er, move him with the others, I suppose.” The nurse replied from behind you as she moved the stretcher, leaving you alone holding a bottle of liquor next to a handsome soldier.

You huffed out a sigh and raised the vodka bottle to your lips, taking a hearty swig.

“So, I was right about you handling your drink, huh?” He asked you.

You looked up at him and raised an eyebrow.

“Aren’t soldiers not allowed to have alcohol with them?” You asked, looking down at the bottle in your hand.

“Aren’t nurses not allowed to drink on the job?”

You laughed and handed him back his vodka, “Guess it’s a good thing I’m just a showgirl then.”

“Sh-showgirl?” He asked, bewildered.

“Y-yes?” You mocked him with a shove to the shoulder, “And if you’re lucky, you’ll get to see the show we’ll put on tonight now that the leading man is back from his journey.”

“Somethin’ tells me Steve won’t be up on that stage again.” He laughed.

“Well then, maybe us girls will just sing and dance by ourselves.”

“Now that sounds like a show.”

“What’s your name?” You asked him as he walked you back to your tent.

“Sergeant James Barnes,” He said, “But less formally, Bucky. What about you, pretty thing like yourself must have a beautiful name.”

“(Y/N).” You smiled as you reached the curtain outside your tent.

“Well, it was nice meeting you, (Y/N).”

“Nice meeting you too, Bu-” Before you could finished, your foot caught on an exposed root that poked out from the ground and you began to fall.

Two strong arms caught you before you could hit the floor, and you looked up the see, of course, Bucky above you.

“Better watch your step, doll.”

“Guess so.”

You watched the smile appear on his face as he picked you up.

“Thank you.” You said, feeling heat creep up your neck as his eyes still rested on your face.

“Okay hold on for one second. You’re telling me you literally fell into his arms?! Gran, that’s what movies are based off of!” James yelled, laughing and sipping at the tea he’d gotten himself.

“Yes, yes, but the story’s not over yet!”

“God, there’s more?”

“Oh, so much more.”

“Y’know, there’s this place I go to sometimes, it’s just passed the clearing of trees over there,” He nodded his head at the forest behind him as he helped you back on your feet, “I go there to clear my head sometimes, I was wonderin’ if maybe I could ask you there with me tonight. The stars are real pretty.”

You looked up at him with wide eyes and then glanced down at the bottle of vodka in his hand, “You gonna bring that?” You asked.

He laughed, “If that’ll get ya there with me, dollface, I’ll bring anything.”

So you took his hand and let him lead you in the direction of his ‘thinking spot’, weaving through the forest until you found the clearing he’d been talking about. You understood why he came here, it was beautiful at night. It was a grassy clearing, that lead out to a cliff with a view of a lake and the sound of rushing water around it.

“Welcome to paradise, darlin’.”

You hummed in reply, taking in the scenery.

“Now, we’re technically outside of the camp, so we just gotta be careful not to get caught.” He said, holding your hand tight as you walked to edge of the cliff and sat down.

“The girls are probably lookin’ for me.” You laughed.

“It’s been less than a minute and it’s like you’re already regretting comin’ out with me.” He laughed, handing you the vodka.

“I don’t regret it enough to go back,” You laughed, sitting cross legged and taking a swig, “They’ll manage.”

“You think they’re gonna manage without the prettiest showgirl on that stage? You must be crazy.”

You rolled your eyes, “Are you always this forward or am I just extra special?”

A devilish grin appeared on his face, “Second one.”

You hummed and handed him back the vodka, staring at the stars above you.

“You were right about the stars, they really are pretty.”

“Second prettiest thing here.”

You shoved his shoulder.

“I mean it,” He said, “And you’re smart too, smarter than that nurse.” He laughed.

“That’s not much of a compliment. I hope you never get into any serious trouble when I’m gone because if you’re left with that numskull, you’re a goner.” You giggled, watching as he shifted so he could sit facing you in the same cross legged position.

You both laughed in between sips of alcohol. It was amazing how much the vodka loosened you up, allowed you to talk to him as if you’d known him for years.

“When was the last time you kissed a girl?” You asked him, feeling your vision go a little blurry.

“Why? You been thinking about kissin’ me?”

“Nah, just curious.” You joked and he laughed.

“Well, musta been about six months ago. Night before I got shipped off.”

“What was her name?” You asked.

“Dot.” He replied.

“She sounds pretty.”

“Doesn’t hold a candle to you, doll.”

“You’re unbelievable.” You giggled, closing your eyes and scrunching up your nose.

“What? Is it so hard to believe that I can find the prettiest dame I’ve ever seen when the world is at war?”

“It is when you don’t take into account the fact that you haven’t even seen another woman in half a year.”

“Hey, I’ll have you know that I have seen women. They’re just in pictures-”

“Doesn’t count.”

“-And they’re usually nude.”

“James Barnes!” You burst into a fit of laughter at his vulgarity. It was a refreshing change from all of the guys you’d met back home before the war, who were more about trying to impress you than just being themselves.

He laughed along with you and it was music to your ears.

“I love that.” You admitted.

“What?” He asked.

“Your laugh, I really love it.”

He smiled at you, “Well, who knew my girl was so sweet.”

Your cheeks flushed bright pink at his comment, “Is that what I am? Your girl?” You laughed nervously, “You hardly know me.”

“Maybe not, but I know you’re beautiful and smart and sweet as anything and spending time with me out here drinking vodka when you could be having a real time up on stage performing.” He said, his voice dropping an octave.

“This is better than any performance.” You told him.

“Even one that earns you a standing ovation?”

“Yeah, even better than that.”

He blinked slowly and raised the bottle of liquor to his lips, tilting it back to drink more without breaking eye contact with you the entire time. You were utterly enamored with how perfect he looked under the pale light of the moon and stars.

He twisted the cap back on the bottle, setting it in the grass next to you. Neither one of you dared to speak as the feeling of tension rested between you. He glanced at your lips, then back up to your eyes. You knew what was going to happen next, and your heart pounding with excitement.

He began to lean closer to you, placing a hand on you face to draw you to him. Your lips were within millimeters of each other when the rustling of boots on grass broke you both apart.

A flashlight beam was cast into the trees behind you, Bucky sprang up and dragged you up by the arm with him.

“Can’t believe they’re makin’ us do rounds this late at night.” A voice said.

Bucky looked around panicked, you knew he’d get in serious trouble if he got caught out here, especially with you.

You searched the area, your eyes landing on a large tree as you felt a few droplets of rain hit your face.

“This way.” You whispered, taking his hand and pulling it harshly in the direction of the tree.

Once he saw where you were going, he took the lead, racing with you close behind him. Once you made it to the other side of the large trunk, he gripped you hard by the waist and pressed your back up against the bark.

Your hands were pressed firmly to his chest as you watched the way his eyes scanning the area, trying to let himself focus on the sound of the distant voices. You couldn’t help but stare at his lips, at his strong jawline, at the stubble that dotted his chin. He was so gorgeous looking, that even in the heat of a hectic moment like this, you wanted nothing more than to pull him down by the collar and kiss him.

“Hey whose vodka?”

Bucky’s eyes widened at the sound of that, he’d forgotten to grab it when you’d both ran for cover.

It had started to rain a bit now, and you watched the droplets hit the dirt ground below you. Your eyes landed on a stone at your feet, and you got at idea.

You knelt to pick up the rock, but Bucky held you by the arm.

“What are you doing.”

You smirked at him, “Saving your ass.”

You grabbed the rock in your hand and looked carefully out from behind the tree to see where the men making there rounds were. You noticed them kneeling by the patch of grass where to bottle lay strewn.

You looked to the other side of the tree, noticing a rather large piece of exposed rock that rested far enough back that if you hit it just right…

You drew your arm back and launched the stone out at full force. It hit the large surface of rock with such force that it made a large crack, loud enough for the other men to hear before straightening back into your original position under Bucky.

“You hear that?” One asked.

“Yeah.” The other replied.

“Came from back there.”

You heard them begin to move back in the direction they came in to go check out to source of the noise. Once their footsteps faded, you let out a sigh of relief, resting your head against Bucky’s chest. You felt him laugh as it rained even harder now.

You looked up at him and shared in his laughter, the two of you giggling as droplets of rain soaked you.

Your laughter died down and you were caught in a deadlock stare in his eyes. You swallowed hard, watching the way he drew his lip between his teeth as he looked down at you.

His lips pressed against yours feverishly, pressing you harder into the bark of the tree. Your fingers carded through his hair as he pulled you by the waist flush against him.

The next thing you knew you were being laid out on the wet grass with him on top of you, the buttons of your dress being undone as he kissed you again and again and again.

“Gran, you dog!”

“What? I wasn’t gonna let a handsome soldier like him go.” You snickered.

“God, can’t we skip through this part?” James asked as his face flushed.

“Do you know where you came from, dear? It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Gran, stooooop.” James groaned, covering his eyes with his hands.

“Alright, alright.”

You were retying the bow of your soaked dress as Bucky watched you in awe. He’d never had a woman like that before, never so wildly, never someone as amazing as you.

He reached out to help you up from the ground, and you took his hand gratefully.

“Guess we should go back, huh?” You asked.

“Guess so.”

You smiled up at him for a second, then stood on your tip toes and pressed a sweet kiss to his cheek.

“I don’t want to.” You admitted.

He wrapped his arms around you, “I could stay with you out here forever.”

“Me too.”

You perked up for a moment, and Bucky looked at you quizzically. You broke from his arms and walked back out into the clearing, picking up the wet bottle of vodka and marching over to him proudly.

“Can’t forget this.” You said.

He marveled at you, unable to comprehend how’d he’d gotten lucky enough to meet a girl like you.

“(Y/N).” He breathed out.

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course you can.”

“Can I write you?”

Your heart swelled, “You wanna write me?”

“Only if you’re gonna write me back.”

You nodded your head rapidly, “Yeah! God, I’ll wait by the mailbox to hear from you, and I’ll write ya back within the day!”

He kissed you, finding your excitement far too adorable to resist.

You turned around to look at the beautiful clearing that you were about to leave for the last time, taking it in one last time.

It was then that Bucky knelt down to tie the shoelaces of his boot that had come undone.

When you turned back around to face Bucky again, you saw him down on one knee and instantly gasped.

“No! No, no, no! That’s not what I-” Bucky began, putting his hands up in defense.

“Y’know what? Why the hell not?” He asked himself.

“You can’t be serious.” You breathed.

“I know I’m not exactly what you probably expected in a husband, but doll I promise if I make it outta this damn war alive I’ll live for ya.”

You shook your head in disbelief. Were you really about to say yes to this?

“I’ve never had a girl like you, and I know that if I let you go tonight, I’ll never get you back. So, when I get back home after we win, you can buy a pretty white dress and we can go right to the courthouse.”

“Yes.” You breathed, not even believing your own voice.

He looked up at you shocked, “Really?”

“Damn straight.”

He got up off the ground and picked you up in the tightest hug you’d ever received, then set you down and held your face in his hands while he kissed you so hard your head spun.

“Wait a second, I need a ring!” Bucky said.

“C’mon, we don’t need one.”

“Sure we do, girl like you’s gotta have a ring.” He said, bending down to pluck a piece of long grass from the dirt.

“It’s not a diamond, but I promise I’ll get ya one when I make it home.” He said, reaching for your left hand and tying the stem of grass around your ring finger.

You blinked at the makeshift ring on your hand and felt tears prickle your eyes.

“You mean it?” You asked.

“What about the diamond? Yeah, of course-”

“No, no. I mean about me?”

His head tilted to the side, “Never felt like this about anyone before.” He admitted.

“You better not forget about writing me every damn day, Bucky Barnes.”

He took your hand in his as he began leading you back in the direction of the camp, “Doll, I wouldn’t dream of it.”

He snuck you back into you tent that night, avoiding the soldiers making their rounds about camp to get you there safely. When you reached the tent curtain, he pulled you in for a kiss, lingering there for what felt like forever before pulling away.

You write him your address on a crumpled piece of paper so he could write you.

When you knew it was time to say a proper goodbye, you pulled him in tightly for one last embrace, knowing that when you left the camp tomorrow morning, you wouldn’t get the chance for a goodbye.

“I’ll write you every day.” He said.

“You’d better.”

“And I’ll be home sooner than you know it.” He whispered into your hair.

You grabbed him by the collar and kissed him one last time before he retreated back in the direction of his own tent. You watched until he ducked under the fabric, hearing another soldier call out.

“Hey, Barnes. Where were ya? You missed the girls!”

“Had something better to do.”

“What’s better than showgirls?” Another one asked.

“Absolutely nothing.” Bucky replied with a laugh that you couldn’t help but snicker at.

You touched the locket that hung around your neck, looking down at the silver pendant that had a crystal face, and if you looked close enough, you could see the tied stem of grass held firmly in it.

“Gran… Grandpa proposed to you by accident and you said yes?” James asked.

“It was crazy, but I just knew he was the one.”

“That’s… Wow.” He said.

“That’s the usual reaction to that story.”

“So you two wrote each other?” James inquired, leaning in even closer.

“Every day, just like he said.” You replied with a smile.

“And he came back for you after?”

“Oh, yes. I lived a couple of towns over, but he got delivered right to me with a bunch of other men. I’d never been so happy to see anyone in my life.” You felt tears well in your eyes.

“Did you guys get married right after like he said?”

“We waited a while after he got back, made sure both our families were alright with it all. He refused to marry me until he got me the damn diamond ring, too.” You laughed, tears spilling down your cheeks.

“Oh, gran, I didn’t mean to upset you.” James said, wiping at your fallen tears.

“No, darling it’s okay. These stories just make me realize what a wonderful life we made for ourselves. They make me miss him.” You sighed, shifting uncomfortably in your seat.

“I feel terrible for making you cry.” He said.

“Oh, don’t think a thing of it. I had plenty of time to spend with Bucky, and I’ll see him again soon enough.” You whispered quietly.

You were well into your nineties now, and you knew it would be an absolute miracle if you could even make it to your grandson’s wedding at this point.

James’ phone rang loudly and he raced to pick it up.

“Hello? Yes, I’m just visiting my gran at the moment. Yeah, I’ll be there soon. I love you too.” He hung up

“Spencer?” You asked and he nodded.

“It seems I’m already late for dinner.” He sighed.

“Go, dear.” You said with a smile.

“You sure?”

“Yes, of course, I’m sure! Now go, your future husband awaits his groom!”

James laughed and stood from his chair, placing a kiss on your cheek.

“Thank you for the story gran.” He said before walking down the porch and getting into his car, disappearing down the driveway.

You sighed contently then frowned at the feeling of pain in your chest.

You got out of your chair, barely managing to shuffle back into the house again as you closed the door behind you with a tea cup in your hand.

Another sharp pain came into your chest and you leaned against the kitchen counter for support as your china tea cup smashed on the floor.

You reached for the telephone, figuring it best to try and call for help, but your hand couldn’t reach far enough.

Suddenly, the chaos ended, and you stood in a forest with the sun shining through the trees.

“Hello?” You called out, scared as to how you’d gotten to this place.

No one answered, so you tried your best to walk in the direction where the light shone most, hoping that your arthritis wouldn’t be too tough on you.

But you felt no pain at all, not even a slight tingle of it up your spine. You felt amazing, better than you had in years. You passed by a small waterfall coming from a large portion of exposed rock, listening to the rustling water.

“Hello?” You called out louder this time.

“Is it really you?”

You froze, knowing that voice better than any other.

“(Y/N)!”

You didn’t dare to turn around. It couldn’t be, there was no way. Bucky had died of a stroke years ago, you must be hallucinating.

“Doll!”

You slowly turned around to see him standing there.

“Bucky.” You whispered in disbelief.

“I’ve been waitin’ for you, darlin’.”

“Y-you’re so young.” You gasped as he walked over to you, dressed in a uniform similar to the one he wore when you first met him, but much cleaner looking. He even had the dog tags attached to a chain around his neck.

“So are you, dollface.”

You looked at the reflection of yourself in the water of the pool near the waterfall and gasped. You must’ve looked about twenty-one, wearing the very same blue dress you wore so long ago.

“Wh-what?” You looked at your smooth hands, searching for the wrinkles that you knew should be there.

He stood right in front of you as you began to cry, looking into his eyes for the first time in years and seeing him strong and happy and healthy again.

“C’mon.” He said, taking your hand and leading you through the trees.

You looked at your left ring finger and saw the grass ring decorating it, you smiled at it.

Bucky pulled you through the forest until you reached a grassy area with wild flowers growing around the edges, a cliff at the edge.

The clearing.

“H-how are we here?”

He turned back to look at you, “Welcome back to paradise, darlin’.”

[i-write-shakespeare-not-disney]

Warm Me Up ch. 25

Click Here for Ch. 1 

Click Here for Ch. 24

IDEK GUYS LEZZGO

That weekend, Will received a message that caught him off guard. He had been so focused on his conversation with Nico throughout the week that he’d forgotten about Joey. At least until his name lit up his phone screen.

Movie tonight? I can pick you up?

The message made Will feel guilty and uncertain. A week ago, the idea of going on a date was exciting and even a relief. At the time there was no possibility of one day getting back together with Nico. There was no urge to spend every waking moment texting him and smiling over stupid messages throughout the night until Cecil threw a pillow at him and told him to at least silence the phone.

A week ago, he’d wanted nothing more than to tear Nico out of his heart. He would’ve agreed to the date without mulling it over so much.

Now, though, he wasn’t so sure. Going on a date now would feel wrong. In the back of his mind, he would feel guilty because of Nico. Because Nico was trying so hard to be better. He was trying hard to be Will’s friend again. And Will didn’t want to repay it by going on a date behind his back.

Instead of answering, he called Joey and hoped to find a way out of the date without necessarily having to explain his entire situation.

“Hey there, doc,” Joey greeted.

“Intern,” Will corrected. “Um, so about the movie thing-”

“You should know that if you say no, I’m going to keep asking every week until you say yes,” he interrupted. Will could almost hear the smile in his voice. “I’m a very persistent person.”

“Is that supposed to impress me?” he asked. “You haven’t even messaged me all week. Suddenly you want a movie date?” he kept his voice light so Joey wouldn’t think he was actually offended. “I really don’t think it’s a good idea.”

On the other end of the line, Joey chuckled. “I know. But I was so busy with work and taking Flor to school and helping her catch up on the homework she missed. Plus all of her club meets and stuff. By the time I was free, I didn’t think you’d want me to be bothering you.” Will furrowed his eyebrows. “I know it’s not an excuse,” he sighed. “I could’ve made time to at least say hi. I’ll be honest. I was nervous.”

“Nervous?” Will repeated doubtfully.

“Nervous you wouldn’t answer. Nervous I’d sound desperate. Or annoying. You know…. I don’t want to scare you off.” The honest, humble, insecure act Joey was putting up was starting to chip at Will’s resolve. He didn’t want to say yes. But he also felt bad for having led him on that day. And the way he spoke told Will it wasn’t really an act.

He sighed and thumbed through the textbook in front of him while he tried to weasel his way out of the situation. “Look, it just… it doesn’t seem very appropriate. Your sister was a patient, and-”

“I wasn’t,” he interrupted. “Will…. Look, Flor is at a slumber party. It’s one of the few times I’m free and I want to go to the movies with you.” Will hesitated, trying to give an excuse not to. He could say homework, but that was a weak reason seeing as he had all weekend to do it, and Joey was only asking for about three hours of his time. “One date,” he pleaded. “One little movie date. It’s literally the most harmless date to go on. No talking required, just… popcorn and Twizzlers.”

“Twizzlers?” he questioned.

“It’s my favorite candy,” he explained. Will grimaced and ran a hand through his hair. “If you want, I don’t even have to pick you up. You can drive on your own, and that way you can leave when you want. Or just not deal with an awkward car ride.”

Will shut his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows. He hated being so easily swayed, but he figured he may as well get it over with. Then maybe Joey would stop insisting. “One date. I’ll drive myself. Deal?”

“Deal,” he answered with a sigh of relief. “I’ll meet you at the movie tavern at eight.” Will hummed in approval and began chewing on the nail of his thumb. “I promise it won’t be so bad,” he said with a soft chuckle. “See you later, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he breathed. He hung up and saw a text from Nico, continuing their previous conversation, causing his guilt to increase. He fell back onto his bed and groaned into a pillow in frustration.

Was it so horrible? One harmless date? It was just one silly little date just to placate a guy who was persistent. Nobody else had to know it was even happening. So why was there such a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach?

A few hours later, Will was getting into his car to drive over to the movie theater. He felt nervous and uncertain. He told his friends he would take a nap and would get back to them later, claiming he felt ill. Though the last part wasn’t necessarily a lie.

Joey was leaning against one of the posters along the wall and seemed to brighten when he saw Will walking toward him. “Hi,” he greeted with a sheepish smile. Will smiled back and took a breath to steady himself. “So, I figured I’d wait until you got here to decide on a movie. There’s a few showings, the closest being fifteen minutes from now.”

“Anything’s good,” he said, shrugging. “I like movies in general.” Joey nodded and gestured to the ticket booth. Will tried not to talk too much or meet his gaze too often as they went inside to get snacks and be seated.

He must’ve noticed because the next thing he said was, “You know you don’t have to look so afraid to be around me.” Will glanced at him and saw the nervous worry in his eyes, which somehow made him feel worse about the so-called date. “I’m not a bad guy. I’m not going to try and feel you up in the dark or something.”

Will furrowed his eyebrows and cleared his throat. “That… actually never crossed my mind.” Joey blinked and his cheeks reddened. “I’m sorry. I told you, I’m awkward about these things. I don’t usually get asked out.”

“I don’t usually ask anyone out,” he answered. “At least not anyone I like.” Will raised an inquisitive eyebrow and Joey bit his lip. “You’re kind of the first guy I ask out. I’ve only recently come to terms with my… sexuality. When my parents passed away, I guess I stopped being so scared to admit it. But I wish I’d told them.”

“You…. You only recently realized you were gay?”

He shook his head, causing his curls to bounce around his head. “No. I realized it a while back. I just didn’t let myself acknowledge it. Didn’t want to deal with it.”

“And your parents…?” he asked.

“Car accident. I was at a party. Flor was at our grandmother’s. They were going on a date. And then they just… never made it home. And I was drunk when they told me. I haven’t had a drop of alcohol since.” Will gulped and let out a soft breath.

Before he could ask anything else, the movie started. Will saw his arm leaning against the arm rest, his palm upward. Clenching his jaw, Will peeled his eyes away and kept his hands in his lap. Every now and then he could feel Joey’s eyes on him.

Suddenly, he was taken back to the first time he went to a movie with Nico. It hadn’t been a date. It had been comfortable. It had been fun and Will had felt completely at ease. Now he wasn’t feeling so calm. He wanted Nico to be beside him. He wanted Nico’s brown eyes glancing at him every so often. He wanted Nico’s scarred, calloused hand to be the one on the rest for Will to contemplate taking.

Will had even made sure to buy a separate popcorn bag to avoid the cliché hand brushing from movies. He didn’t want to lead Joey on any more than he already had. With Nico at the forefront of his mind, and the tension in his muscles as he sat beside Joey, he couldn’t focus on the movie at all.

When it was over, he went outside with Joey, hoping to keep the conversation light and uneventful so he could leave soon. “Hey, Will?” He looked over at him and tilted his head. “Is there any chance I could get you to agree to another date?”

Will hesitated and sighed. “I… I don’t think so…. It’s not that you’re not a great person, Joey. But I just…. I have so much going on in school and the internship and you know, having to go back home soon. It just wouldn’t be… good.”

Joey nodded and bit his lip, looking down. “I understand that.” He stepped closer and tilted his head. “But you do realize you sometimes need a break from those things, right?”

“Yes,” he answered, stepping back.

“So why not let me help with those breaks?” Another step closer. “Let me give you a break from all the responsibilities and frustrations.”

“I-I do get breaks. When I hang out with my friends,” he answered, stepping back again. This time he felt his back hit the wall.

When Joey stepped closer, he leaned a hand against the wall beside his head. “Let me be one of those friends then,” he whispered. “What’s stopping you?” Will hesitated, trying to articulate his thoughts. “Will, I spent so long denying myself. And I’m tired of it.” He leaned in closer and Will felt his breath hitch. “You strike me as someone who never stops thinking.” His eyes looked him over, dark and intense. “Always wondering what’s the right thing to do, the right way to do it, the right thing to say.” Will gulped and stared back at him. He was so close. “For once, just don’t think.”

He began to lean in and Will’s lips parted in surprise. Then he felt Joey’s lips against his own and shut his eyes. His eyebrows were furrowed, trying to decipher what he felt. It felt strange to kiss someone that wasn’t Nico.

It wasn’t like Nico was the only person he’d ever kissed. But after so long, kissing only Nico, after kissing him again after so long, this felt strange. It felt wrong.

“You’re still thinking,” he murmured against his lips. Will began to speak, but Joey pulled him by the nape of his neck into a deeper kiss, and Will’s eyebrows rose as the feeling overwhelmed and confused him.

His hands were warm on either side of his face. Finally, Will pushed his shoulders back and turned his head away. “I’m sorry. I can’t….” He looked at him and shook his head. “I should go.” Joey’s hands fell to his sides and Will began to walk away. He stopped, hoping to offer something better than “I’m sorry” but came up with nothing. Instead, he kept walking.

***

Nico’s stomach was in knots as he waited outside of the building. He’d been sitting there for half an hour. He wasn’t sure what to expect when he walked in. And he wasn’t sure if he wanted to tell his father about it either despite his comment on wanting to know how it went.

Finally he steeled himself and walked into the small, quiet building and walked over to the plump, corpulent woman at the desk. “Can I help you?” she asked in a chipper voice.

“My name is Nico di Angelo…. I have an appointment, but I was told to be here a half hour earlier.”

The woman checked her computer and hummed until she found whatever she was looking for. Then she gave Nico a clipboard and smiled. “Just fill this out and give it back to me when you’re done.” She smiled calmly and reassuringly as Nico took the clipboard.

He sat down and flipped through the questions. Some asked for information like insurance or his address and proof of income. Others asked about his personal thoughts. Ratings of the accuracy of certain thoughts and personal goals or concerns. Nico’s hand was shaking as he wrote, causing his writing to become sloppier than usual.

Finally, with a sweating hand, he handed the clipboard back and sat down, trying to keep his hands still. He felt nauseous and stupid.

The sound of footsteps made him look up as a small woman with auburn hair pulled back into a ponytail said his name in a questioning manner. She smiled and fixed her glasses, holding a clipboard in her other hand. “Come on back,” she said waving him along. Nico stood and followed her into a small, warm office with couches and pillows and a large bookshelf which held mental health books and games along the bottom. “Okay,” she said. “My name is Raven, and I’ll be the person you’ll be seeing every week.” Nico nodded. “Now, I know you went over this in the paperwork, but I have to repeat it, just to be sure it’s well understood.” She began to go over the confidentiality agreement and Nico half listened as he glanced around the small, cozy space. “Any questions?” Nico shook his head. “Okay. So, why don’t you tell me what brought you in here today?”

For the next hour, Nico spoke and answered questions from his therapist which led to further inquisitions. He found himself going back to his childhood, explaining the loss of his mother and his sister. Then the distance with his father. Then the reckless behavior.

As the hour came to an end, she pulled out a paper and tapped her pen along her knee. “Now Nico, I know today was a lot of talking and getting to know each other. It’ll go like this for one or two more sessions unless you have something pressing you’d prefer to talk about. This isn’t a fast process, but it is a start. And you’re very brave to bring yourself to try therapy again. It’s a big step.” Nico nodded, not really wanting the praise. It didn’t feel real. He didn’t feel brave. He didn’t feel special or strong. “Now, what I usually do is set up a sort of weekly plan with patients. Things you want to work on or focus on or coping methods to attempt instead of other things like self-harm or, you know in your case, this reckless behavior you mentioned. You were hospitalized, right?” Nico nodded. “So the point of this is finding alternate ways to express the agitation or stress so it’s productive or at least healthier. For example, you like writing songs, right?” Nico nodded. “So how about when you get frustrated or those rushing thoughts, you try to put them into lyrics? Even if you don’t give them chords or melodies.”

“I can do that,” he said softly. “I just want to get better. I want to be better. I’m tired of feeling this way and… ruining things.” She nodded sympathetically and jotted down some notes. “I’ll get better right?”

She smiled and patiently explained, “That’s the goal Now whether therapy alone is enough, we’ll have to see. Some people need therapy and medication. Some need therapy and meditation. Some just need therapy for a few months, others for a year or more. It’s not an absolute measurement. We have to see what works best for you.” Nico nodded and ran his hand through his hair. “I’ll make a copy of this and meet you back in the lobby.” She smiled and led him out, telling him to wait. When she returned, she gave him the copy and smiled. “I’ll see you next week, okay?” He nodded and walked out to the car.

He didn’t feel different. He didn’t feel better or worse. He just felt frustrated.

***

A hand nudged Will gently, pulling him out of his reverie. He looked over and saw Paolo with a worried expression. “Are you okay? You’ve been sort of off all weekend.”

“I’m fine,” he said. “Sorry, just not sleeping well.”

“Well, texting Nico all night doesn’t help,” Cecil muttered. Will kicked his shin. “Ow!”

“What time is it?” he asked, ignoring Cecil.

“Five,” Paolo answered. “Why?”

“No reason. I have to go. I’ll be back.” He stood up and gathered his things, rushing out of the café and to his car.

Paolo was right. Ever since that mishap of a date, he had felt jumpy and horribly guilty. He wanted to see Nico, but at the same he was afraid Nico would read him like a book and know what happened. And Will didn’t want that.

After a few stops, Will returned to campus and went to Nico’s dorm. He hesitated, because it was the first time they’d be in each other’s room since… their break up. And he wasn’t quite sure what feeling would arise from it.

He knocked hesitantly and after a few moments, the door opened. Nico was obviously surprised and flustered to see Will standing at his door. “Hey,” he said in surprise. “What are you doing here?”

He held up a bag of Sonic and a Walgreens bag filled with candy and ice cream. “Your appointment was today right? I brought comfort-slash-reward foods.” He shrugged and felt his cheeks warm as Nico stared in utter shock.

“I-I… Oh.” He smiled and dipped his head, hiding his smile. “Yeah, it was. Do you want to come in?”

“Yeah, I kind of don’t want to eat on the hallway floor,” he answered. Nico laughed and opened the door wider for him. Will went inside and placed the food on his desk, glancing fleetingly at the open journal on his desk before Nico scooped it up. “So… how’d it go? Is that okay to ask?”

Nico glanced at him with that signature smirk. “Yes, it’s fine to ask,” he said softly. “And it went fine, I think. I just talked a lot.” He paused for a moment and took a breath. “It was a little like the first time we really talked.”

“Ah,” he said. “How do you feel about it?”

“Nervous. Unsure. I don’t know. I’m just scared that I’m putting all of this hope on getting better through this and… nothing will change. I’ll be just as screwed up as ever.”

Will looked at him and felt a tumble of words forming on the tip of his tongue. He wanted to tell him that he wasn’t screwed up at all. That he had troubles but that was okay. That the fact that he wanted to be better, to feel better, meant a lot in itself. He wanted to tell him everything all over again- how every part of him was beautiful and how every little mistake and flaw only made Will love him more because it reminded him how human he was.

Instead he kept it brief and simple as he held out a burger and fries. “You’re not screwed up, Neeks. I know you don’t like believing it, but it’s true. You’re just more in touch with your emotions. And it’s okay to have help.”

“Ever the optimist. Always seeing the good in people.” Nico took the food and sat crossed legged on the bed while Will sat on the chair.

“It’s a gift,” he admitted. He smiled to himself as he thought back to the days when he was still getting to know Nico. How frustrated Nico was with his optimism and joy.

“Being a pessimist can be a gift.” Will raised an eyebrow. “You don’t let anyone in. You don’t get hurt.”

“You don’t live,” he responded immediately. Nico raised an eyebrow and the corner of his mouth quirked up. “Sorry,” he answered.

“What for? You’re not wrong.” Will scoffed and threw a pack of gummy worms at him. “I haven’t even eaten my burger,” he complained.

“There is no pleasing you, is there?” he asked playfully reaching for the gummies.

Nico’s hand clamped down over Will’s and leaned down, his head cocked to the side. “Now, I wouldn’t say that,” he said softly, his eyes intense and mystifying, his smile teasing.

Will scoffed and pulled his hand away, taking the candy with him. “You know for someone who wanted rules, you seem to enjoy breaking them,” he answered with a smile, looking away. “Eat your food.” He threw a packet of ketchup at his face, causing Nico to laugh, but he did as he was told.

It wasn’t so tense anymore. He was nervous around him, but it was a good way now. It was like the beginning. He was nervous for the morning text, nervous to pass him on their way to class, nervous to be too close because he might do something stupid and embarrassing. And he loved knowing Nico felt the same.

They talked about absolutely nothing and everything. Nico didn’t want to delve into details about his therapy. Instead he showed Will videos online and they talked about the first silly thing that came to mind. They were laughing half the time they were together. At one point, Nico had to jump off the bed and spit his drink into the sink because he was laughing so hard, and the expression on his face sent Will into hysterics.

It wasn’t until Nico’s roommate came in that Will was snapped back to reality. It was late, but he hadn’t even realized how long he’d been there. “I should go,” he said. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, okay,” Nico answered, following him to the door. “Um, thank you. For checking on me and the food and snacks…. I appreciate it a lot.” Will smiled and nodded, starting down the hallway with a smile on his face. “Um, Will?” Nico called out. He turned and furrowed his eyebrows. Nico hesitated, but then he shook his head and smiled. “Sleep well.”

“You too, Neeks. Goodnight.” Nico nodded and slinked back into his room. When he turned back into the room, he couldn’t keep his smile off his face. He wanted so horribly to ask him out again, but he wasn’t sure how much he should wait before trying. Maybe if they hung out more in the week he could ask about seeing a movie. Or they could get dinner. Or just go for a drive.

But first he had to get the guts to ask Will. Despite knowing they liked each other, it was just as nerve wracking if not more.

“I thought that dude usually slept in here with you,” his roommate noted in confusion. Nico grimaced and rubbed his neck awkwardly. That was the bad thing about his roommate being gone half the time. He was late to things and never really knew what was happening with Nico.

“No, we… broke up.”

He furrowed his eyebrows and frowned. “That didn’t look like a pair of exes’ typical conversation.”

“It’s complicated,” he muttered. He got ready for bed and grabbed his phone, excited when he realized Will had already messaged him again.

Click for Ch. 26

[grubhivemind]

RYAN: -she's here at sage and jack's place, knocking on the door impatiently. she's like 99% sure jack isn't here because she made the mistake of messaging him ahead of time, but even if he isn't, sage might be able to tell her where she can find him. she takes a drag off a cigarette while she waits for an answer.-

SAGE: -oops, she napped for too long, and the door knocking makes her get up off the couch sleepily and stumble to the front door. her hair is a mess, but she smiles seeing Ryan when she pulls the door open- hey!!!!!!

RYAN: -manages a little smile for sage, but damn ryan does not look great. she's got her own hair pulled back but it's still managing to stick out all over the place. and she looks tired, sickly even. she'd look even worse if she didn't have her shades on to cover her eyes.- 

RYAN: hey baby. 

RYAN: i dont suppose jack is home is he?

SAGE: -uh oh...she doesn't look so well.- no actually but are you okay?????? -is it bad she's a little relieved that ryan  needs help right now? it takes the focus off of sage at least. maybe she's a bad person for feeling that way-

RYAN: -exhales smoke, muttering.- figures. 

RYAN: im just... peachy. -waves her hand around.- 

RYAN: im pretty sure jack is avoiding me is all. whatever.

SAGE: -frowns- why would you think that??? -steps to the side so she can come in-

RYAN: -shuffles on inside. every step feels so heavy.- well first it just started with him cancelling plans. turning down offers to hang out and shit. 

RYAN: and then... since easter i havent even heard from him. 

RYAN: -gestures wildly again.- hes never here when i say im coming over conveniently.

SAGE: oh...... -she sighs a little and goes to get ryan some water because she doesn't look good- did something happen on easter?????

RYAN: no. 

RYAN: ... -sighs- i mean.

RYAN: nothing happened with him. 

RYAN: i was at james and roxannes for easter you know like we usually do. and i asked jack to hang out after but he turned me down. 

RYAN: and its like whatever!! it didnt bother me. i just made other plans and... 

RYAN: -runs a hand through her hair- i hung out with this dude nellie and. shit. 

RYAN: man i fucked up. 

RYAN: jack probably found out with his dumbass soothsayin bullshit. fuck.

SAGE: oh....... -hands ryan a cold bottle of water- that's pretty weird!!!!!!! 

SAGE: what do you mean you fucked up???

RYAN: -takes the water bottle and casually sips- ... 

RYAN: i was out partying all night. 

RYAN: aaand the following day.

SAGE: -she knows the power of reactions so she just nods- it happens...... 

SAGE: it's okay

RYAN: -glances away, unfortunately a little irritated by that response. but... that isn't something she's about to take out on sage of all people.- 

RYAN: i guess.

RYAN: i mean its clearly not entirely okay.

SAGE: yeah but....... 

SAGE: sometimes you go backwards before you go forwards???? it's something i learned in the hospital i guess....relapsing doesn't take away from all the progress you've made so far

SAGE: i don't know what's up with jack

RYAN: -finds an ash tray to put her cig out in. there's gotta be one around.- it does when you could end up dead. 

RYAN: hes being-- hes being an asshole. -runs a hand over her face, trying to contain the emotion suddenly threatening to surface. she isn't usually like this...- 

RYAN: he shouldnt have taken me back if he cant deal with my shit.

SAGE: -ryan's words bring up some thoughts she immediately tries to ignore- i had no idea..... 

SAGE: are you okay????

RYAN: ive been sober like... eight or nine months?? fuck. 

RYAN: you know how dangerous it is to pick that shit back up suddenly? 

RYAN: im fucking stupid. -sniffs-

SAGE: -she nods, expression softening- i don't think you're stupid at all 

 SAGE: i think you're trying your hardest and deserve more support than you're getting

RYAN: -turns back towards her suddenly. she can't hide the way her mascara is running past the shades.- ive got PLENTY of support. 

RYAN: i always fucking did. -draws in a sharp breath, shrinking back and internally scolding herself for lashing out at sage of all people.- 

RYAN: im just ungrateful. 

RYAN: and he thinks-- he thinks im his responsibility. 

RYAN: i never wanted that... i never wanted to dump all this baggage on him. 

RYAN: ... but it doesnt work that way does it?

SAGE: -it hurts to see her aunt in so much pain. she feels small when it comes to trying to help, and it doesn't seem like she has any of the right things to say. are there any right things to say?- i don't think you're-- -she stops herself because she's thinking that won't help either. and she doesn't want to make ryan more angry and frustrated than she already is. it's understandable why she's feeling so strongly- 

SAGE: i...... 

SAGE: he hasn't said anything so i can't speak for him but i don't think you're dumping baggage on anybody

RYAN: -rubs at her eyes under her shades- i know you dont think that sweetie... -sighs- 

RYAN: but its still there. you know? people can see that. 

RYAN: everybody tells me aw ryan its alright... these things happen. everything will be okay. 

RYAN: and its fucking hard to hear when i see how much it hurts everybody. 

RYAN: ive got one selfish fucking disease. and nobody wants to admit that it is. everybody just wants to think about me and help me and i cant fucking... deal with what i do to people. when i never gave anybody anything in return.

SAGE: -she looks down for a moment- yeah....... 

SAGE: i know what you mean.... 

SAGE: it's really hard

RYAN: -sniffles again, running a hand over her hair.- yeah? 

RYAN: i always thought hed understand too. 

RYAN: ... maybe he understands too much. maybe thats the problem. i dont fucking know.

SAGE: -she nods before just...leaning over to hug her tightly-

RYAN: ... -carefully wraps her arms around her too, hesitant at first, but then she squeezes just as tight.- 

RYAN: it sucks doesnt it? 

RYAN: feeling like a burden. 

RYAN: -scoffs- when everyones so good to you... like you dont deserve what people give to you. -pets at her hair-

SAGE: -her eyes are watering a little but she blinks the tears back- yeah.......... 

SAGE: and it feels like.......they're disappointed when they can't make what's happening go away.........and then you feel bad because they feel bad....

RYAN: -outright laughs about that, she's so relieved to have this conversation. that someone who gets it is actually sharing it with her.- FUCK yeah. jesus. 

RYAN: like shit man... i know i need help but... 

RYAN: theres only so much anybody can do for me. i gotta figure out the rest of it on my own. 

RYAN: and i just... want people to be there sometimes. i just wanna know we can all still be cool without people worrying about me all the time. 

RYAN: slap me on the wrist from time to time to keep me straight. its whatever. but fuck... aint nobody my keeper. i wouldnt wish that on anybody hahaha.

SAGE: -keeps holding onto her. her eyes are still brimming with tears but she's trying to blink them back- i know right?????? like..........sometimes you just know they're thinking about what you're struggling with?????? even if they don't say it.....

RYAN: -pulls away to frame this sweet niece's face, brushing away her tears, but only to make way for more. it's good that she's crying. it's good that it makes ryan want to cry more too.- well hey... 

RYAN: if you ever need someone to feel like a pathetic loser with then im your girl. 

RYAN: we dont gotta keep it together for anybody... just for a lil while. that sound cool?

SAGE: -she nods, forcing a smile- you can always come to me too!!!

RYAN: -pets at her hair some more.- im gonna do that. 

RYAN: we can just veg and eat ice cream and watch sad movies and shit. itll be great. 

RYAN: we should do that tonight. 

RYAN: ... and jack cant avoid me if im already here. -snorts-

SAGE: -she giggles a little while sniffling- i like the sound of that!!!! 

SAGE: like a sleepover!!!!

RYAN: hell yeah. 

RYAN: please tell me youve already got ice cream...

SAGE: DUH!!!!!!!

RYAN: thank FUCK. -laughs- 

RYAN: grab the ice cream... ill get us something REAL sappy to watch.

SAGE: -she giggles with ryan and wipes her own face off- okay but no movies where the dog dies!!!!!