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st4rry-sh4rkz · 2 years ago

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Modern MMU Headcanons

Ok let’s start with Daisy:

she plays electric guitar but doesn’t rlly tell anybody so when Hazel went over her house she just pulled out an electric guitar, did a kickass riff and Hazel was just like: what.

defo listens to rlly loud thrash music that would break her eardrums

but is also a clairo stan

she relates to class of 2013 on a PERSONAL LEVEL

her style is either light academia or like cottagecore lesbian??

her room is messy but she knows where everything is and refuses to clean it because “it helps her work”

it doesn’t

has posters over every inch of her walls but they don’t make any sense because there will be like an ominous detective poster right next to a saiki k poster

she defo watches saiki k as a comfort anime

refuses to wear AirPods or wire headphones and will only wear a rlly chunky pair of classic headphones

a major procrastinator

wears SO MANY RINGS omfg

is actually a rlly talented artist but doesn’t tell many ppl and Bertie is one of the only ones who knows so he hangs up her drawings in his bedroom

Bertie also def bought her a pride flag to put in her room bc ✨supportive older brother✨

keysmashes (Hazel doesn’t understand them at all)

she became the cool mum friend because she didn’t have a mother figure

but then realised nobody else in the friend group had one either 😭

Hazel nowww:

a bake off stan (I saw it on somebody else’s post idk who)

def got daisy into watching k dramas and now they binge them together

plays piano

listens to romantic music from the 60s-80s

especially Good Old-Fashioned Loverboy by Queen bc it reminds her of Alexander

also a Beatles stan

I think she would either dress comfy and oversized OR be light/dark academia

her room is so clean omfg

she tried to help daisy clean but it didn’t end well

bakes CONSTANTLY

if there is a party in the friend group Hazel WILL be bringing the home cooked food

Pinterest addict (you know I’m right)

is supposed to wear glasses but doesn’t most of the time

her room is just COVERED in bake off merch

prolly started a homework club

but now everyone just goes to hang out

will never swear and hasn’t at all

won’t admit it but is actually rlly good at painting her nails

and everybody in the dorm convinces her to paint theirs

Kitty:

is the girlboss guru of the friend group

does everybody’s winged eyeliner

tries to do group therapy sessions but everybody just ends up venting

she’s GIVING pansexual energy and I can’t explain it

def listens to doja cat and nicki minaj

the kind of person to impulsively dye her hair when something goes wrong

like she’ll walk into the room with neon green hair and everybody will be like OMFG WHATS WRONG DO U NEED A THERAPY SESSION

her style is prolly streetwear

sneaks out all the time

but daisy always catches her and lets her go anyways

her room is messy and she always attempts to clean it and fails miserably

uses slay and girlboss ironically and her and daisy talk fluently in gen z

this confuses Hazel and annoys Lavinia

would rock up to a party in a suit

but the next day wear a dress

gives relationship advice to everybody who will listen

is a sarcastic gay

istg she will have ALL the rainbow merch

she loves reading but doesn’t tell anybody

she usually reads by torchlight but everybody has caught her doing it by now

Beanie:

dyslexic af

when she texts with horrible spelling the others just have to deal with it

the only person in the homework club to actually do work

idk why but she seems like a trans girl???

kitty does her makeup

she def listens to cavetown with alexander

it helps her sleep

her style is probably comfy clothes with cute animals on them and stuff

she also started wearing beanies as a joke but now has a whole collection

attempted to sneak out with kitty but they ended up just lying on the grass watching the stars

relationship goals

unironically uses lol in conversations

the most innocent of the friendgroup

binges Saiki K with daisy while they do each other’s nails

is a cat person and wants to own at least 4 in the future

has a rlly neat room to everybody’s surprise

but it turns out she invites Hazel over regularly to help her clean it and so they can watch bake off together

she knows about daisy being rlly good at art so sometimes they go over each other’s house and just draw the whole time

is terrified of dogs

Lavinia:

allergic to cats

it’s an inside joke that she starts pretending to sneeze when near kitty

paints her nails black

pretends to listen to rlly loud rock music and will blast it in the room

but secretly listens to the Beatles with Hazel because it helps her sleep

plays the drums (this is a FACT)

tried to make a band with daisy and Hazel and Alexander

it didn’t work out

her style is prolly streetwear and she wears SO MANY NECKLACES

her rooms messy af but nobody’s been over her house cuz they know about her family issues

watches demon slayer

Hazel is terrified of her cuz she thinks that it’s way too gory

this is one of the reasons why she watches it

she actually has a soft spot for little kids

and decided to become a babysitter but instantly regretted it

sneaks George into the dorms CONSTANTLY

the girls aren’t surprised anymore when they wake up and Lavinia and George are sitting cross legged on the floor debating communism

this is a regular thing

worked at Starbucks but is rlly bad at customer service

Swears SO MUCH and Hazel is just like:

“LANGUAGE!”

ok so now Alexander:

trans boy?? I think so

he def struggled with toxic masculinity but George and Hazel and kitty helped him out

now he paints his nails with Lavinia n Hazel

started listening to Taylor swift as a joke but now is lowkey obsessed and debates with George about the best era (obviously reputation)

also listens to cavetown w beanie

his style is def oversized jumpers and dark academia

Hazel also helps him clean his room so it’s usually neat af

he has cavetown posters everywhere

I mean EVERYWHERE

his comfort song is This is Home

him and George helped the girls write a petition to start the Deepdean GSA

it was successful

him and Hazel spend so much time planning their life together it’s rlly wholesome

the girls have heard it so much they are willing to disagree

he plays bass guitar and was in the band (he also sang alongside daisy)

they broke up cuz he argued w Daisy SO MUCH

he wears contacts most of the time but Hazel thinks he looks cute w glasses so he’s started wearing them more often

He enjoys scrapbooking but nobody knows except Hazel

George:

plays the trumpet

only to annoy Lavinia because whenever he sees her he’ll start playing Careless Whisper

is a major Taylor Swift stan

he thinks reputation is the best era AND HE IS RIGHT

didn’t want to be a part of the band because he already knew how it was gonna end

a master at sneaking into the girls dorm

or so he says (he actually just wakes everybody up)

his style is just whatever he’s feeling at the moment which leads to some questionable fashion choices

he’s the kind of guy to wear a nirvana band shirt and then when asked if he can name songs (he’s a major nirvana fan) he’ll start naming ac/dc songs just to piss ppl off

he says he won’t get political and then starts ranting about the corrupt government

it doesn’t help that Lavinia encourages him

Amina:

actually enjoys baking and will go over hazels house to bake stuff w her

because daisy is a terrible chef

her style is rlly confusing cuz she’ll dress fem one day and then be masc the next

her and daisy need to get a room, according to the ENTIRE FRIEND GROUP

listens to girl in red unironically

also sneaks into the girls dorm room

it’s just normal in there to wake up and Amina, George and Alexander will already be there

she plays acoustic guitar but just doesn’t tell anybody except daisy n Hazel

actually a rlly talented singer

her room is so tidy but nothing makes sense

she keeps rats as pets especially the ones w red eyes

this terrifies daisy (and everybody else) on so many levels

also wears SO MANY RINGS

her and kitty are rlly good friends

even if she’s also allergic to cats

She doodles on herself when she’s bored and started drawing daisies up her arms

She is def a theatre kid

OK RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS CUZ I HAVE NO SELF CONTROL:

Daisy & Amina:

They go to feminist marches and pride parades together

they sneak out together ALL THE TIME

they have cute lil picnics in the flower fields n they make daisy chains together

Amina’s big spoon (you know I’m right)

daisy tried to teach her gf how to dance but they ended up just falling over each other in a pile of laughter

Amina calls daisy flowergirl as a pet name

the others place bets on how many times flowergirl is gonna be said

Kitty always wins

they’ve been to a girl in red concert together

Bertie was def the first person to know they were dating

they do each other’s makeup

they decorated the dorm rooftop with fairy lights and blankets so they could sneak out there and fall asleep under the stars

they always know exactly what to get each other for valentines

so daisy and Amina both individually give advice to the other couples

except daisy charges money 😭

They braid each other’s hair and doodle on each other when they’re bored

Hazel and Alexander:

Hazel constantly steals Alexander’s jumpers

they have a scrapbook together

Alexander worked as a florist for a short period of time and sent Hazel flowers everyday with poems

They always try to outdo daisy and Amina in couples competitions

daisy and Amina always win tho cuz they’re super competitive

they insist on going into photo booths together whenever possible so they can get pics for the scrapbook

Alexander is big spoon obv

They adopted a cat together but still can’t decide on the name

daisy thinks they should name it after her

they’re def not doing that

Hazel bakes cakes every year for her bfs birthday

Daisy attempted to do it for Amina one year but miserably failed

Alexander tries to carry Hazel but almost drop her every time

They have rlly complex secret handshakes

Kitty and Beanie:

Beanie used to go to Kitty for relationship advice even tho it was Kitty she was crushing on

the first time they kissed was when beanie was in the middle of confessing to her

Beanie has night terrors and trouble sleeping so Kitty sings to help her fall asleep

they didn’t have to tell anybody they were dating

they just randomly started kissing each other and nobody questioned it

Kitty’s big spoon

Lavinia did start wondering why Kitty stopped sleeping in her own bed and would wake up in Beanies

she never asked tho

They go on shopping sprees together

Kitty def does beanies makeup and teaches her how to do rlly intricate hair styles

George and Lavinia:

Lavinia gets a lot of shit for dating a non white man obvs

they get through it tho

they stay up rlly late debating their existence in the universe and politics

This annoys everybody except Hazel and Alexander who think it’s pretty cute

When Lavinia worked at Starbucks George would order a drink everybody but she would make sure to pronounce his name wrong every time

“Can… Jorge? … collect his order please?”

George loved her for that

They’re annoying at road trips cuz if you pass them the aux you better prepare for horrible renditions of Taylor swift songs

They once turned up to the school dance with George wearing a dress and Lavinia wearing a suit

they enjoy breaking gender norms cuz who doesn’t

they paint each other’s nails

George leaves random post it notes for Lavinia to find when he stays over at the dorm

If the other girls or Alexander find them they get so confused

Alexander would find one and be like:

“George why are you confessing your love to me? I have a girlfriend??”

“Ohhhh this is for Lavinia. Got it.”

OK THATS IT :)

#mmu #daisy wells #hazel wong #murder most unladylike #headcanon #amina el magrahbi #beanie martineau #kitty freebody #lavinia #george mukherjee #modern headcanons

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worminterface · 23 years ago

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hi there

Hi as far as you need to know my name is Matt or Mattie (Matthew if you're feeling fancy). I am on the computer to have a good time and post bordering-on-too-personal shit on my Web Log

17, he/she, white, bigender trans guy (<- oh look he admitted it. rejoice), straight/lesbian/you get what I mean

I shall not list my disorder/s here enough time following me and such will become obvious to the wise

I uh don't do much. sometimes I write/draw/craft etc but I don't make a habit of it. regardless my art tag is wormart

Things I like:

foraging (plants, mushrooms, + otherwise)

mycology

hazard signs and traffic signs and signage in general

radioactivity

horror movies, games, books, etc. for which I will always be up for recommendations (specifically I loooove a good fucked up short story/novella)

bone collecting/vulture culture

writing, once in a blue moon (short stories and poetry)

drugs (occasionally

urbex? maybe ? we'll see

guitar (I'm not good at it)

writing music sometimes

My cat. my cat image tag is chloe look at her please

Music:

It's a very very mixed bag so I'm just going to list some individual artists that I like a lot Btw I like all of them in a cooler and better way than you

Barbed Wire Barbie

100 Gecs

Laura Les/osno1 (I'm sooo fucking normal about her)

GEL

MF DOOM

Akintoye

Misantropic

Jack Stauber

wych elm

Death Grips

Playboi Carti

Terrifying Girls High School

onebillion other things

While I don't consider myself punk so much as an identity, I do love punk and hardcore music and I go to shows whenever I can, my area's scene is great

I'm also in a crust/hardcore band (kind of. it's just me and my best friend atm and I can only barely play the guitar. her false chord vocals are great though). We're called Self Digestion and if we ever put anything out I'll link to it <3

my music tag is &. go through it and listen or you're gay

Also I'm a furry. I will reblog furry shit. you've been warned

Neocities coming soon (in months

woww if you've read this far you must really like me. DMs&asks are always open (to mutuals and non-mutuals), feel free to talk to me even if we've never talked before :]

#last updated 11/25/24 (tags)#funny buttons to press:#fav #🔥#<-(my good posts)#g #<-(gender shit)#wormart #<-(my art)#f #<-(anthro shit)#james #fish #<-<-(my ocs who I never talk about)

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itsbrucey · 1 year ago

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Okokoko SOOO! Bigtop Burger!! I need to make a sona for it stat

Uhh i love Penny!! She’s so amazing and I love her character design so much (which isn’t to say much since i love ALL of their designs) The fact that we got actual lore in the last episode was like augdhdjdjjd STEVE!! What did he dooo i thought he was just silly

Also the fact the Cats musical was made before humans- that is terrifying to me/hj

Billie and Frances should kiss actually and i need to draw them all oh my goddd

THE MUSIC THE ANIMATION 100% like i usually skip the credits but everytime i just listened to it since the intro and outro music is the best music ever actually

(also Steve and Caesar as a ship was like haha funny and now its slowly becoming engraved in my mind) Also also also caesar’s voice sounding like he’s screaming in an empty room is music to my ears actually- when is the next episode i need more of the sillies/j

[On the topic of sweetooth i hope you have a good time!! And once you’ve started watching i would love to hear your thoughts!!]

PENNY. IS MY EVERYTHING. SHE'S THE BRUCEY CHARACTER OF ALL TIME..

also yeah the fucking Steve lore out of left field was insane,, in Zomburger's theme/Down you get some good Cesare lore but it was also the first hints of Steve ( referencing the fact he came out of the center of the earth) and then Up just BLINDSIDES YOU. AND THE CATS BIT FROM STOVE BECOMING ACTUALLY LORE RELEVANT??? I have no idea if it was planned from the beginning or if Worthi just found a way to work it in so seamlessly but I still can't get over how phenomenal it was.

Cesare's VA is Chris Fleming btw. Like you probably already saw but that's why Cesare's performance is so. Like That. Y'know. Just insane balls to the wall line delivery and quips and it's so GOOD ( I really like that you can hear the audio quality difference tbh..... Like it's cool + obvious it's an indie production )

AND YES. BILLIE AND FRANCIS ARE SO. GIRLFRIENDBOYFRIENDSINLOVE 100%. I absolutely adore them and I don't think the show is going for romance tonally but the way they interact....gay people. Steve and Cesare are also very Gay People and I'll stand by this. Oh, you're rivals? And operate opposite themed foodtrucks? And also are bitter rivals because one is a clown and the other is a zombie? AND ONE OF YOU IS ASSIGNED TO WATCH AND HUNT THE OTHER?? alright guys.....just kiss.

Also fun fact that you probably saw. Alex Hirsch of Gravity Falls Fame. Voiced Munkustrap aka The Guy Who Exiled Steve and I FREAKED OUT. LIKE WHAT'S HE DOING HERE????? ( as if Lindsay and Alex Small-Butera and Sungwon Cho aren't also animation icons as well LMAO )

#Brucey Answers!#bigtop burger spoilers

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eldritch-nightmare · 1 year ago

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Could I do a Romantically creepypasta match up!?!?!!!!

Appearance: I’m 5’5 and mid size. Ftm gay fella, I’m also blasian so my skin color is #825d4a. I have black eyes and shoulder length curly hair.

Personally: I’m a isfj. I’m mostly chill and down to do anything but I do have limits. I love to Tease ppl who are close to me. I’m playful and sometimes I can be overly hyper. I’m kind and I love to help others. I’m a push-over :”D. I could be really shy but once I’m comfortable I’ll be hyper and energetic. I also have social anxiety which is an ass.

Random:I love love love madoka magica and Pokémon. I play tuba! I own a lot of stuffies and I love them all. I own 2 cats and they are my world. I have a problem with info dumping about something I like. I love to draw and im good at it if I do say so! i like playing video games, Especially smash bros and deltarune. I play badminton. I’m a Virgo. My music taste is nu mental, rock, game osts, j-pop and jazz I’ll listen to anything expect for country and pop.

Romantical: my love language is physical touch and words of affirmance. I complement a lot. I’m also clingy. I love giving gifts to people I love!

THANK YOUU!!!11!11!

madoka magica omg you're so real for that, that anime ruined my life.

your matchup is... jason the toymaker!

i feel like he would match your energy pretty well! he's a pretty down-to-earth uhm. entity. and he's pretty easy to get along with as well! he also has a habit of teasing the people he considers himself to be close with, so i definitely think you two would banter a lot. he finds your playfulness to be endearing, and it shows in the way he looks at you.

you being a pushover... well... sad to say, it would work in his favor. so would your social anxiety, if we're being honest, but if it ever gets too bad then he's always right by your side to offer you any form of comfort you may need.

he likes that you're clingy! he's... clingy as well, if you want to look at it that way. and any compliment you give him, he returns with equal measure.

physical affection is also something he enjoys. it's one of his favorite forms of affection to be on the receiving end of, to be honest. he enjoys every ounce of touch you give him, even if it's something small.

his own personal love language is gift-giving, so expect him to give you plenty of handmade gifts. and when he learns you have a collection of stuffies? you bet he'll make you his own. it brings him an endless amount of joy seeing you surrounded by the things he's created.

and any gift you give him will be proudly displayed in his workshop!

also, he loves your cats. cats are wicked cool, and he makes little stuffed versions of them to keep in his workshop.

while he may not personally be interested in anime or video games, he's definitely willing to hear you infodump all about your most recent interests.

he likes hearing about the things you like because seeing you happy about something makes him happy in turn.

also, i'm just picturing the two of you sitting in his workshop. he's working on a random toy or two while you're tucked away in your own corner drawing.

DOUBLE ALSO jason is totally the type to slow dance to jazz. and if you don't know how to dance? don't worry, just let him take the lead. he likes holding you close and swaying to the music. it's so romantic.

#anon #creepypasta #creepypasta matchup #jason the toymaker #jason the toymaker x reader

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hecateisalesbian · 1 year ago

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UNO REVERSE. GIMME ALL 50 OF 'EM.

For the wild card... what was your least favorite question out of all of these to answer?

Do you have freckles? i think? Yeah? Only like a few tho

Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? hohoooo your gonna regret asking me this question >:3 For Tea I have a very specific tea brand I always buy and it’s the Arizona Green Tea Diet and then yknow occasional Peace Tea and on some occasions tea leaves. For Coffee when it’s at Starbucks I get one Grande size Vanilla Iced (Gay) Latte with 2 Splendas and almond milk! At home though I just brew up some coffee and put creamer and vanilla unsweetened almond milk with a 1:3 ratioish and a spoonful of Splenda.

What was the last song you listened to? The entire Nimona album lol

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side? Back or Side because I rotate but never directly on the stomach

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? Yes. The amount changes tho. But rn I have a stuffed animal called Rat Cat and then my dog 🐶

Do you prefer drawing or writing? they equally suck

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with? i always always always have to sleep with a very specific blanket for my anxiety and that’s really all I need

What’s your favorite band/artist? errrrr Lovejoy or Lemon Demon or Mother Mother?

When is your birthday? Not sharing that but my fake one is March 7th

How tall are you? Like 5’2”

What color are your eyes? Very dark brown (boring Ik)

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? My Irl friends and my sister

Fears? Bugs, Spiders, T h e D a r k

What’s your favorite color? Purple obvs 💜

What’s your favorite season? Fall, because depending on where you are it’s so wonderful and the weather is perfect and everything is so pretty and also it’s SPOOKY SEASON 🎃

Want any tattoos? What of? Many. Idk how many but my basics are a sibling tattoo with my sister, a matching tattoo with my mom that I’ve already designed, a star, sun, and moon tattoo with my sister and my mom, a snake or two somewhere, some flowers maybe, a semicolon, etc

Want any piercings? Where? YES. Lots of places! I want to deck out my ears, probably get some nose piercings, lip piercings, eyebrow piercings, and then idk from there

Who is the last person you texted? My friend

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends? I used to but not anymore

What/who do you miss? My sister

How was your day today? Well I woke up like 2 minutes ago

How much sleep did you get last night? Idk man I just pass out whenever

Do you believe in aliens? Idk theirs probably smth else besides us on this dingy space rock

When was the last time you cried? Why? When I sneezed 6 times in a row a minute ago

What’s your favorite decade? Hmmmmm. Idk. Early 2000’s maybe, 60’s-80’s seem cool

What are some seemingly childish things you like? Stuffed animals, ‘kids’ shows, wanting to play on swing sets

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? Uhhh Idk if this is my favorite but I really really like the book series called Strange The Dreamer!

How are you, really? Idk

Does it take you a long time to make decisions? I’m extremely indecisive

What are you looking forward to in the near future? Doing some musicals/plays, Halloween, seeing my sister again, going to a con

What are you looking forward to in the distant future? Moving lol, hopefully finding a partner

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? My home state Colorado

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? Who- who sleeps with it open? Ew. Closed.

What’s your favorite flower? I don’t have one 🤷🏼‍♀️

Do you currently have a squish? 😎 🤏🤨🕶️🤏 a what. Okay after a quick google search this looks like a QPR. I used to but not rn

Do you like your middle name? I love it! It holds a lot of meaning to it and it’s actually the name I choose after realizing I’m trans (and also I generally hated my first name)

Do you prefer dogs or cats? Im allergic to cats so I have to say dogs but I love cats. But snakes are number one 🐍

Do you have any phobias? Arachnophobia

Do you stay up late? Well let’s just say im daggers friend from two days ago

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? Hate the beach. Clouds all the way. Mountains are THE BEST

What’s your favorite cartoon? The Owl House 🦉

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs @bloodied-dagger @el-fandom-birb @haystarlight@imhumanguysiswear@stars-and-birds@threegoblinart@childlikegoblinqueen@artkittycatty@tardismama@fandomsandflyingstingrays@rosy-tickles@ALL OF MY MUTUALS

Do you have siblings? How many? Uh I have two blood related sisters, two step brothers, and one brother in law

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? My dog probably. Other than that my mom

Is there anyone you would die for? My sister, my dog, my friends, my parents

What do you need when you’re sad? Happiness lol. Naw in all seriousness my dog

Have you memorized your phone number? If you haven’t I hope you like dying

Who’s someone you can trust with your life? My sister

What does your last text say? “Oh”

My least favorite question was all of them because I woke up 6 minutes ago why am I doing this

#asks

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michaelmylove · 11 months ago

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1. lmfao idk

2. t h e m a g n u s a r c h i v e s

3. no

4. idk what theyre called but a lot

5. one

6. so many cats

7. people whove already gotten top surgery

8. dr who!

9. ew no

10. its not a secret lol

11. wales?

12. What’s one of your fantasies?

13. yeah prolly

14. invest half, save half

15. sorta?

16. ew no

17. no

18. something tma related idk

19. lol i already did

20. t h e m a g n u s a r c h i v e s

21. pretty, funny, always there when i need them

22. no <3

23. i dont really listen to music

24. france, canana, denmark

25. reading fanfic, writing fanfic, drawing fanart, and scrolling tumblr :>

26. winter!

27. conscious ignorance

28. BRENNANLEEMULLIGAN

29. i dont watch a lot of movies idk

30. no <3

31. ebooks are more convenient, but i like the *vibe* of paper books more

32. harry potter

33. gerry keay, jonathan sims, michael distortion, sasha james, and martin blackwood :]

34. mocha caramel frappe

35. no

36. no

37. no but i want one

38. no

39. yes

40. no

41. idk like 10

42. gay

43. procrastinating

44. no <3

45. i dont go on dates

46. 236

47. brian david gilbert

48. alice dyer <33

49. my friend from wales probably

50. just a little rainy, foggy, and chilly

Be nosy

1. What’s your sexual orientation?

2. What are you obsessed with right now?

3. Ever done any drugs?

4. What piercings do you want?

5. How many people have you kissed?

6. Describe your dream home.

7. Who are you jealous of?

8. What’s your favorite show to binge?

9. Do you watch porn?

10. Do you have a secret sideblog?

11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

12. What’s one of your fantasies?

13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced?

14. How would you spend a million dollars?

15. Are you in a relationship?

16. Do you follow porn blogs?

17. Are you angry with anyone right now?

18. What tattoos do you want?

19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to?

20. What is something you’re obsessed with?

21. Describe your best friend.

22. Tag someone you think is hot.

23. Who are five of your favorite bands/musical artists?

24. What are three places you want to travel?

25. Describe your perfect Friday night.

26. What’s your favorite season?

27. What’s your pet peeve?

28. Who is the funniest person you know?

29. What’s the most overrated movie?

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message.

31. Do you like paper books or ebooks better?

32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick?

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like?

34. What’s your coffee order?

35. Do you have a crush on anyone?

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes?

37. Have any tattoos?

38. Do you drink?

39. Are you a virgin?

40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals?

41. How many followers do you have?

42. Describe the hottest person you know.

43. What’s your guilty pleasure?

44. Do you read erotica?

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

46. How many people do you follow?

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick?

48. Describe your ideal partner.

49. Who do you text the most?

50. What’s your favorite kind of weather?

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jodilin65 · 35 years ago

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WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 31, 1990 I deliberately slept till 8:30 this evening as Andy and I couldn’t have auditioned cuz Andy’s without a car till it’s fixed. Brenda’s also without a car, but tomorrow morning at 7:00, she and Kevin are going to look at a car this guy’s selling for $600. Or, I should say instead, they’re going to pick it up. They’ve already seen the car. So anyway, I made myself sleep long and late to reverse my schedule for a week or so. Then it’ll go back to nights till I want to or need to reverse it again.

I’ll tape Unsolved Mysteries, but I’ll have to miss Hunter. I’m also gonna cancel Martha.

Early in the morning, Brenda’s gonna call me so I can get stamps to mail my mail which is all set and ready to go. Also, she’s going to take me to Food Mart, then when she brings me home I’m gonna do laundry.

Tonight I finished putting up my pictures in a different way and it looks really nice. I also changed the cat box and swept the kitchen floor. After I finish my tea, I’ll listen to some music and do some drawing.

Later…

John isn’t working today. Meanwhile, I tried to get a hold of Dr. Statz, but she’s on vacation I guess for a couple of weeks. I don’t know if I wrote about her but one of the 3 times I was in the ER, she treated me. I’m 100% sure the male nurse, working with her was gay and I’m about 85% sure she was gay. I was just totally touched by her and it was weird cuz she wasn’t overly attractive. There was just something about her, you know, like Linda’s song goes; It’s not that you’re attractive, but oh my heart grew active when you came into view. And I had a crush on her. Sweetie pie.

And ever since then, I haven’t forgotten about her. I can hear God too, saying, “Uh-uh, against the rules.” I think he wants me with someone less attractive so I can learn to look at only people’s personalities. But I’d never be with Brenda if she were a bad person. Maybe another reason God has is that if I get dumped, I won’t be as hurt as much as I would be if I were overwhelmed. I still long for that someone with the character and personality I most desire and to feel that special once-in-a-lifetime sexual spark.

Please, God, please! Answer my prayers. Do it someday very soon. Please. God, what if I made a deal with you right here in this book? And that deal is if I promise to try my hardest to quit smoking, then will you think about it? Also, a beginning break with my singing, then I’ll pursue it from there. I hope you put some big and serious consideration into my requests. If singing and having that special someone and a baby are 3 too many things to ask for, then I’ll understand. I’ll settle for the singing and the special person only and give up the baby without ever asking for anything else.

Later…

Around 9:00 this morning Kevin and Brenda came and got me and dropped me off at Food Mart. Then, I waited a good long exhausting wait while Brenda brought Kevin to Palmer, then back to pick me up. After she picked me up she brought me to Shopper’s where I got a photocopy made of my birth certificate and stamps for my mail which I mailed in the box right outside the store.

While waiting for Brenda at Food Mart I saw Allison. We spoke briefly and she said she’d give me a call soon.

So all my errands are done except for Friday when I get the pigs more food and their big bail of sawdust. I still need to call Philip and John and tomorrow I’m definitely, no matter what, going to go see Paula. Jessie’s probably gonna call today. She’s another one I need to see, and she and Brenda can meet each other.

I finally got back here at 10:30 this morning and I fell asleep till 3:30. I’m exhausted but I’m gonna stay this way so that at 11:00 tonight, after Hunter, I can go to sleep. I better not wake up either, like around 3:00 in the morning and not be able to go back to sleep till 6:00 or 7:00, then sleep till mid-late afternoon. I want to be up in the mornings from tomorrow until next Tuesday. That means the next 5 mornings.

Later…

When I got up I made a pork chop and some angel hair pasta and got a call from my sister. Tammy said Ma said to her, “I don’t want Jodi alone for her b-day, Chanukah or Thanksgiving.”

Tammy also said Ma said to drive in and get me in the morning and bring me back the next day. Tammy said she then tried to explain to Mom that it’s impossible with 3 kids, the business, and with Bill working till 6:30 at night. Then Tammy said Ma pulled her typical line of, “Good-bye, Tammy.”

I guess Ma fails to remember that I’m not alone. I’m not single anymore and my girlfriend is fully willing to drive me down this Saturday and for Thanksgiving and also for my birthday and Chanukah which Tammy says she’ll combine into one big party. I mean, Tammy’s right. She can’t up and go drive for that amount of time and it’s pretty strange why Ma’s so concerned about me not being alone for all these things.

I’ve spent them alone before but then again when your own God damn aunt and uncle invite you over for Thanksgiving like they did last year, then conveniently forget to call you and pick you up, that’s not my fault, is it?

Another thing Tammy mentioned is that Ma bragged about all this time she was gonna spend with Tammy, Bill and the kids which turned out to be a joke. Tammy said she wanted to spend the day with me. HA. It was a wonderful hour we had.

All I can say is, I’ve had it with this family shit and I don’t wanna know from nothing. I haven’t had to deal with it for 5 years and I’m not about to deal with it now. Also, I’m not going to Florida either. A week’s vacation isn’t worth a week of her bullshit along with it. I mean, that’s not how my vacation packages or anyone else’s should be. Really, if it were an ad it’d read like this: We’ll give you a week’s free vacation with all expenses paid, but the catch is that you must put up with Dureen O’s bullshit.

Another case of taking the bad with the good. Fuck that!

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 30, 1990 I wish I was just waking up, but instead, I am wide awake. I slept till 6pm. I’ve been so zonked out cuz I’ve had to be up at a certain time for a certain reason and wasn’t getting enough hours of sleep.

I have many errands to do such as buying pig and cat food. I also need a bail of sawdust, stamps, and to make a photocopy of my birth certificate.

The mouse, who’s getting bigger, is now riding his wheel, and boy is Shadow ever getting big fast.

Andy came over earlier and we made some phone calls to people who had ads in the Advocate to sell things.

Andy’s really upset. He’s having trouble with Miles. Needs to find a job. Needs to pay bills. Got in a car accident which he’s going to have to pay almost $1,000 to fix. It’s not fair that some drunken girl, who did get arrested, slammed into a parked car, then Andy slammed into her, yet Andy’s at fault. He was wearing his seatbelt and the scary thing is, is that if I was in the car, I probably wouldn’t have had my seatbelt on and I’d have gone through the windshield. Who knows how many stitches I’d have to have gotten in my face. There are so many fucked up drivers it’s amazing. And very, very scary, too.

I’m so pissed at myself cuz I just remembered I was supposed to have called Philip 3 days ago, and John, and see Paula.

Later…

I’m writing here on the waterbed and I put the mouse on the floor inside his plastic ball, and Shadow’s having a hell of a time watching him and wishing so desperately to play with him. Or eat him. It’s quite a funny sight to see when he’s in his ball running around with Shadow chasing him. It also was so cute when Shadow was sitting in Toffee’s cage. He doesn’t want to harm the other animals, but he may accidentally cuz his playing may be too rough for them cuz he claws and bites.

Those drawings I did really blew my mind. I never could draw a line on a piece of paper before and I feel good yet weird. It’s like - what’s next? I discover one thing after another I can do. If not perfectly, then better than most.

Here comes Shadow once again to enjoy Gremlin after taking a dump in his shit box.

Me and Andy may possibly go to an audition together early this evening so I hope I get some sleep before then. Right now I’m gonna go listen to music. I haven’t listened at all today. After that, hopefully, I’ll get some sleep, get up early in the afternoon and get my errands done, call John and Philip and maybe even see Paula.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 27, 1990 I fell asleep at 5:30 PM after being up 21½ hours and of course, almost an hour ago I woke right up. I was kind of hoping I’d sleep till 5 AM. Anyway, guess what I’m doing today at 9 AM? Taking the police exam. I called Boston after talking to Tony today out here on Locust St. during a car accident. He said the people weren’t hurt too bad and that it had to do with insurance and he was tired of supporting the welfare recipients. So, I mentioned the exam to him and some other cop and they said that maybe the test was canceled due to all the layoffs, and to call Boston and check. When I called, I told the woman I never received my notice and she said that they did have trouble with their mailings and asked me for my social security number. I gave it to her and then she read back my name and address and said it was tomorrow morning at 9 AM. It’s at Converse High on State St. They allow you 3 hours for the test, but you’re free to leave when you’re done. There are 100 questions which means I cannot get more than 30 wrong. She said it’ll be 120 days before they mail me my marks. That’s 4 months, unfortunately, and she says there are around 2000 people taking the test. Lastly, she said to bring a birth certificate, a photo ID, and some number 2 pencils. Brenda took me to Shopper’s Drug where she met Emily and Emily gave me the pencils. Well, I bought them, of course. And a pack of cigarettes like a jerk.

I was going to go to Tammy’s tomorrow but Brenda’s got a visit with her kids she can’t cancel and Bill’s here tomorrow and Monday. Maybe Tuesday. Tammy’s gonna be pissed and I understand that and I’m dying to see Sarah, but this test only comes up once every two years.

Later…

It definitely doesn’t look like I’m going back to sleep so I’ll write for a while. I’ve got a CD playing. Fleetwood Mac’s Greatest Hits. It’s pretty good. I like most of the songs on it. Some are boring.

Tomorrow, after the test, I’ve still got to get pig food and a heavyweight bowl for Tigger. I’m getting pretty sick of him either knocking it over or slamming it up against the side of his cage. I’ve got to get food for Gremlin and Shadow, too. Also stamps and paper plates. And it’s also about time to buy another big bail of sawdust. There’s always something to buy. Such as Gloria’s new record.

I think maybe I’ll go hem some more of those pants Kacey gave me.

Later…

Well, I didn’t hem the pants. One pair didn’t quite fit since I gained weight, but I just took my measurements and I’ve gone down an inch since 3 days ago when I started exercising my ass off and taking Slim-Fast. I did, however, hem an old shirt that was almost to my ankles. I brought it up to mid-thigh length. It came out better than I’d thought but I’ll have Brenda check it out to make sure it’s not crooked. I’m not too thrilled with the way it falls but I’ll ask Brenda.

After I take my shower I’m gonna put another coat of nail polish on and I’m not sure yet what I’ll wear. Something casual. I hope after the test and my errands are done that I can catch a couple of hours of sleep so I can go out to the Halloween party at the Pub tonight. I want to wear my new black lace skirt. Part of me hopes Brenda ends up too tired to go so I can observe others without her observing me observe others. But then again we mutually do look at other women and we’re honest with each other. In the long run, Brenda will never have anything to worry about cuz gay women, of course, are a major turn-off to me in general, and it’s against the rules for me to have someone I’m attracted to. Oh well. At least God allows people to be attracted to me which is nice as long as it’s not major sickos. I mean, everyone gets that here and there, but the good thing is, is that as time goes on I’m having an easier time getting better people even if I don’t quite meet my desired standards.

Ok, time for my second coffee, then my shower.

Later…

Brenda dropped me off at 8:30 this morning, and they made everyone who didn’t get their notice to appear for the test go into a room, and they gave us an “appear” card after checking to see if our names were on the list, and also our photo IDs and birth certificates, in which I’ve got to photocopy and mail to Boston.

They had us print and write our names and they compared them with our signatures on our licenses.

There were several butches there and I got stared down good by guys and butches. This Hispanic girl was sitting next to me. I’m not sure, but I think she was gay with the way she gave me this huge smile and waved at me the second I walked in. I sat next to her and we chatted here and there before the test. She urged me to choose South Hadley for 1 of my 4 choices of cities or towns I wanted to work in. My first choice was Springfield, however, and I had no choice cuz you had to pick, for first choice, the place you lived in for the last 12 months. My second choice was East Longmeadow. I would’ve chosen Longmeadow, but it wasn’t listed. My third choice was West Springfield. My fourth choice was Chicopee.

Another thing was that there were two classroom monitors. One man, one woman. The woman constantly stared at me. I caught her once and her face turned bright red. Then after the test, as I was leaving, I could see her grinning to herself with the same red face.

We didn’t start the test till 9:30 and I finished at almost 12:30. I’m not sure whether I passed or failed. There were some tricky questions that I had to go over and over. I’ll know sometime in February. I am anxious though and never have wanted to speed up time so badly in my life. I usually don’t care about time or wish I could stop it and drop dead.

The landlord will be here any minute to fix the heat. Today and all last night I froze my ass off.

I told Tammy I’d be down next weekend and she said she wasn’t mad and that she understood and to think positive about the test.

After the landlord leaves, I hope I can catch a few hours of sleep so I can go out tonight.

I called Philip and told him about the test and he’s happy about it and he asked me to keep him posted. He also told me to call him tomorrow. I called John too, and he was both pleased and proud. Then lastly, I spoke with Andy.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 26, 1990 I’m going nuts just sitting around here, so since I can’t have music, I’ve got to find something. Those dickheads never sent me my notice for the police exam, but I figured as much to begin with. I don’t know who’s responsible, therefore, I don’t know who to call to bitch about it. Oh well, like I said, I figured I’d never be notified just like I knew I’d never get that security job at Mercy with John.

Why is it that anything I’d be good at and want to do I just can’t? It just wasn’t meant to be. If I was smart, a long time ago I’d have chosen a career I hate, never want to have a baby and if I’m ever single again, I’d pick all the ones I don’t want or that are just ok. Actually, they pick me, so I should say.

Later…

I tried calling Philip about the stereo but he’s not at work and not answering his phone at home.

Today, I’m gonna go to Food Mart for cat food, stamps, and paper plates. Also, I want to go to Brightwood Hardware in Longmeadow for pig and mice food.

I’m getting tired as hell but I want to push it as far as I can so I sleep somewhat into the night. With my luck, however, after 3 or 4 hours of sleep, I’ll bolt wide awake and not be able to fall back asleep.

I’m really starting to want to work. I need extra money and this being at home all the time bit is really getting to me. But since I can’t sing or be a cop and am too chicken to drive the cab, what can I do other than McDonald’s or something really boring and stupid?

I’m gonna call apartment rental people for general information about duplexes. I know I can never afford it, but it never hurts to get some information. I’ll go get the yellow pages.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 25, 1990 I’m still wide awake and probably will be for a while. I’m just having a grand old time with the new phone. There’s a mute button on it too, and you don’t need to keep holding it down like you do on most other phones. You hit it once and a red light glows which tells you it’s in use, and to discontinue the mute, you hit it again and the red light goes off.

A little while ago I listened to the 45 of the song Take a Chance On Me by ABBA. I bought it today at One Stop Records. I always liked that song and I used to have that record. I don’t know whatever happened to it, along with tons of other records. They either got old or I got sick of them or they were stolen.

Later…

Why, oh, why didn’t I stay the fuck off cigarettes!?! I had 3 cigarettes in 1 week and here I go and smoke a whole pack yesterday and today I’ve had close to a pack. What a jerk, huh? I’m gonna go chuck the rest of my pack, try again till I absolutely can’t fight the urge to smoke, and listen to music.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 24, 1990 Well, I’m going to need to go to sleep as soon as possible so in order to help myself sleep, I’m gonna listen to music for a while.

Tomorrow morning I’ve got to call Philip about fixing my stereo. I can’t put it off any longer.

Also, I see Martha at 4:00. I’m not sure if I mentioned it but I think she just may have a thing for me. It’s just this feeling I get and it’s also certain things she says and certain ways she says things. Oh well. Of course, I’ll keep my mouth shut about it. She is married, after all, and she also swore she never mixes business with pleasure and that’s fine and respected by me.

I want to go to Caldor’s too, to see if Gloria’s new album is out. I’m not sure of the name of it and it’s not new songs. They’re all old hits, but they’re in Spanish.

Later…

I just finished killing a spider, which like most spiders, was on the ceiling. I sprayed it with lots of Lysol and perfume to get it down so I could swat it.

Today I got this awesome and I mean totally awesome speakerphone I ordered last week. Now I need to make 4 payments of $22 but it’s worth it. I love it. I can be doing something like writing or making coffee and still talking to someone. Also, I can play people the edits which they can hear well and hear their reactions, and if it’s an answering machine, I can hear it beep when it ends. Another thing too, is if my call waiting beeps, I’ll hear that too.

This insurance company’s got a hell of a long machine. Brenda and I passed it on the way home from Baystate Waste after I saw Martha and I said to myself, “I bet they have a machine.”

By the way, Martha definitely has no desire for a woman. She’s 100% straight as an arrow.

Andy’s got company now so he’s gonna call me later, and Fran’s not home. I’m bored and I love this phone so I may as well go and have a field day with it and look under insurance companies in the yellow pages. It does seem like a lot of insurance companies have answering machines.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 23, 1990 Brenda brushed out my hair for me, and God is it getting long. It’s almost to my very lower back and the layers are growing out. The very top layer, though, is completely destroyed. I have massive split ends.

Shadow’s climbing all over me. I think I mentioned before why I changed his name from Bandit to Shadow. He’s like glue. He loves to be near me constantly. Follows me everywhere like a shadow. However, when I go to bed, I shut the bedroom door cuz he always wakes me up.

One thing that’s starting to annoy me is that I’m very bloated. I wanna hurry up and get my period so I drop some water. I don’t want to take my water pill while I’m still finishing up my other medications. I did some exercising and I’m gonna do more later. Also, I’m gonna get more Slim-Fast and eat very little till I drop 10 pounds. It’s funny to say I’m chunky at 105 pounds, but then again I am a very short person, right? It’s not that I weigh too much pound-wise, it’s my shape I guess, I have so much water, too.

I took all my pictures of Gloria down last night. There are only a few in the bedroom. I wanted a change and a break from them so I put them in my file box in my closet. I’ll never throw them out cuz I’ve put so much time and money into them and it’ll be really neat to look back at them someday. Maybe I will put them back up, though, in a matter of months or someday. I still wish I could afford a duplex as I’d make the cellar the music place with the posters, the stereo and keyboards and I wish I had a washer and dryer. By God, I’d love to be able to afford that. I’d have 2 bedrooms, 1½ baths and a dishwasher too, no doubt.

Later…

I’m now watching the premiere of Law & Order. Before this, I saw In the Heat of the Night. Brenda left after Matlock. I put Brenda’s hair in a braid. It looked nice.

I still never got any notification as far as the police exam is concerned. I’m not stupid, though. They’ll never notify me worth shit.

I’m gonna go make some angel hair pasta. It is so good.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 22, 1990 I was exhausted before, but as usual, I woke right up. Man, oh man, was I just through a hell of a nightmare since the last time I wrote! I had to go to the ER 3 fucking times and I was terrified! I literally thought I was going to die and it hurt so bad I wished I would drop dead till it was over. I had the worst asthma in my life. They had to take me immediately (usually you wait forever) to give me oxygen treatments, and the last time I had an IV. It was really scary. I could only smoke 3 cigarettes in one week’s time. I’m on Prednisone for 12 days and Bactrim which is an antibiotic for 10 days. Also, I’m on Theodur and Alupent which is the same stuff in my inhaler. Theodur and Alupent are the two most common drugs used for asthma.

I saw Mom and Dad on the 15th and we had a fairly good visit. They came up for about an hour or so. They’re back in Florida now.

I may possibly be going to my sister’s this Saturday. Tammy’s really sick now, too.

Steve and I spliced a wire today so I can edit from the CD player onto the stereo and it sounds great, too. I have plenty of editing to do as well as story writing.

They raised my food stamps to $114, so I did a huge grocery order and I never had so much food in my life, but I really need to lose weight. I’m getting pretty chunky lately.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 12, 1990 It’s been one week now and I still feel like shit. Oh well. It also looks like I’m gonna have to cancel going to my sister’s tomorrow. One reason’s cuz I feel like shit and the other’s it’s contagious. I don’t want to stand and just look at my nieces from 3 feet away, I want to hold them and hug them. Tammy mentioned going next weekend if I couldn’t make it this time.

Then I’ll be seeing Mom and Dad on the 15th, and it fucking figures I’m sick so I can’t sing.

Yesterday I got 3 journals at an excellent price. I mean a really fantastic deal. Normally the 3 of them would’ve cost close to $24, but I got them for $12 in the secondhand department. I’m glad I discovered that they sell them there which is weird cuz these books are brand new and just as nice as the regular main part of the store.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 7, 1990 Tracy called me and Andy last night. We were both thrilled to hear from her. I played her the edits which she thought were great. She didn’t contact us, she said, cuz she needed space and time to sort things out.

Last night was awful. I was so full of congestion. I never knew one could have to blow their nose so much. It’s red and sore now and I feel much better now that I drained out all that shit so I guess it was worth the misery. Tomorrow, or today I should say, Bill will be here at 1:00 so I hope I can get a little sleep. I had to sleep all day today as I was so miserable. It’s called “sleeping it off.” I’m thankful I feel much better though and also thankful it wasn’t the flu. Anything but the flu. Smoking very little also helped get rid of it quicker but I couldn’t have smoked much if I wanted to. The funny thing is, though, for the last 3 days I really haven’t had much of a desire to smoke. Today I had 5 or 6 and psychologically I still think of it, but the physical part isn’t too bad.

I love this little kitty of mine to death. I’m so glad Brenda got him for me.

Share to Pinterest SATURDAY, OCTOBER 6, 1990 Yesterday, I only smoked 7 or 8 cigarettes. Today, even though I still slept till 9:00 tonight, I’ve had 3 so far. I am very, very congested so that’s part of the reason why I’ve smoked so little. Also cuz I have these sneezing fits and cuz of my wheezing. In 48 hours I’ve smoked only 11 cigarettes so that’s why I’m constantly blowing my nose like there’s no tomorrow. It gets worse before it gets better after you’ve either quit or cut down cuz all that tar and shit starts draining.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 5, 1990 Gee, I have exactly 1 day short of 2 months till I’m 25 years old. A quarter of a century.

My new little kitten, which Brenda got me, is sitting here in bed with me and he’s so loving and so affectionate. The one thing you couldn’t do with Sasha was pick her up and cuddle her or have her come to you and let you cuddle her for more than 3 seconds. His name is Bandit. He’s now trying to distract me from writing by rubbing up against my book and me and giving me kisses. He’s fairly gentle with his claws but when he gets a little older I’d like to get him neutered and declawed. You know I hate being clawed when you’re playing with them. I mean they can just sit or stand on you and their claws hurt like hell. Now he’s playing with my hair which all kittens, cats and babies love to do.

Brenda’s cab broke down yesterday afternoon and while she was at the office, the owner’s wife just happened to be giving away kittens, so that’s how I got him. That was yesterday, the day after Brenda’s b-day. He’s 6 weeks old and looks a lot like Sasha, but Sasha was gray and white. He’s orange and white and his hair’s a little shorter. It’s the same pattern as Sasha’s. I think they’re both tabby cats. He’s so loving and follows me everywhere. And he’s pretty calm and gentle, too. He knows how to pee in his litter box, but he’s still going to have to learn not to go on furniture or chew wires.

I have had absolutely no sneezing fits!!!!!!! And this cat is here to stay till death do it part. My mom was right as far as all my problems being due to smoking and I’ve known it too for quite some time but it was just too scary to admit. It’s scary to think of dealing with withdrawal after quitting but my congestion is getting really bad so I’ve had only 7 or 8 cigarettes today.

The pigs were a little jealous and depressed about Bandit, but otherwise, they’re still the usual loving troublemakers.

I bought Brenda a pair of earrings and a pair of sexy underwear for her b-day and we went to her sister Donna’s house in Palmer. And as I mentioned before, I’ve known her husband Kevin for 4 years. He knew Crystal C, too.

Donna’s a great person who anyone feels comfortable with. The type you could talk to about most anything and who accepts people for what and who they are. The kids were great and Donna’s great with the kids too, and I’d have loved to have someone like her as my mother.

Tomorrow, I’ve got to call John R and maybe I’ll try to leave a message with Dr. Goodman’s receptionist for Tracy, but only once. I also have to call Philip and go to Food Mart. Also, I wonder if Kathy will fix my bangs if I call her. She works at Food Mart and she gave me her number. We went to La Baron together. She hated it too, and she only does it on the side. My bangs really look pretty stupid so maybe she can trim and layer them.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 4, 1990 Right now I’m on the phone listening to Fran talk to Bobbie. Andy and I wish to hell Tracy would call us.

I’m turning into a very, very slightly ok artist. Of course, some of my drawings are a wee bit explicit. Guess I’ve been horny lately.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 1, 1990 My mother said something astounding. Not only was I shocked, but I also shed a few tears. I called Mom and told her that I bought a little tiny fork and spoon for Sarah and socks for Becky and Lisa. Then I told her that I agreed as far as having money and someone to help as far as having a baby is concerned. But I also told her I didn’t like being told what I should do or should not do at this age.

So I finally asked the two questions of my main concern in blunt plain English. I said, “If I have a child someday, are you going to disown me or call the state?”

She said no. I freaked with shock and joy. I absolutely and totally could not believe it.

Otherwise, no more news going on lately. Just that I had a very nice weekend with Brenda and also Gail and Judy. Gail and Judy are so nice. You feel as if you’ve known them for years. They, of course, don’t turn me on but they’re very attracted to me, so I hear. Also, it’s rather obvious by the way they look at me. Same thing with Bonny. I did their nails for them and also, a couple of weekends ago, Brenda, Judy, Gail and I went to Jam’s. We had fun, and I ran into Tracy there who said she broke up with Nancy. Guess Nancy was an alcoholic and a troublemaker. She seemed a little irritated by talking to me and left with some other girl who seemed slightly offended when I asked her if she was single.

Tracy said she was in California on the 4th of July and was so shocked at how feminine the gay women were there. That’s what she likes, too.

She did tell me to leave a message with my number at this dentist’s office where she works on Maple St. But should I really leave a message which I seriously doubt will ever get answered?

My friendship with Andy has been excellent the last several months and he admitted he was being cruel and selfish for a while and then realized it and didn’t want to lose me as his friend. He was also jealous of my looks and my abilities but instead of being negative he’s encouraging and appreciates what I do.

It’s really too bad his relationship with Miles isn’t doing too great. According to Andy, he’s too clingy and constantly wants sex. Also, cuz Andy didn’t give Miles sex for two days, Miles cheated on him. Andy’s pissed and is on the verge of dumping him. He says, though, he thinks Miles is the way he is cuz his father molested him. Also, he says Miles has a big mouth and blabbed some sexual stuff about him and Andy real loud in Friendly’s. He also talks 10 times more gayish than Andy does.

Tomorrow, I want to go see Paula and get something for Brenda, but I still can’t sleep yet and it’s now 3:17 AM. I was beat before. Sometimes life as a night owl sucks.

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nostalgiaispeace · 7 months ago

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2382.

Do you have a large dog? If not, are you afraid of them? No and no. i just don't like dogs, especailly big ones.

Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you didn’t say it back? Yes

Who is your favorite photographer? my friend emily <3

Were you shy in high school? Yes

Did the last guy/girl you kissed have any piercings? no

Do you actually love your parents? yes

Do you know anyone autistic? i think so

Do you like your girlfriend’s/boyfriend’s parents? they're ok

Do you like Polaroid photography? I do.

Who was the last family member of yours that died? my grandma

Do you have any gay family members? yes

Would you be upset if you caught your boyfriend looking at porn? no but i'd be weirded out

What is your favorite type of cat? all cats

Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst? my husband

Were you raised by someone other than your parents? my grandparents also. spent all summer there growing up

What’s the last chore you did? cleaning the kitchen

What is your favorite jungle animal? big cats

Is your father injured? not that i know of

Are you part Native American? No.

What are your pets’ names? lily

Have you ever worked two jobs? no

What are the names of all the dogs you’ve ever owned? ginger, callie, and harry

Would you ever get a face tattoo? No.

Who in life have you felt the strongest need to protect? my daughter

What is the cruelest thing a person has ever said to you? that i shouldn't be a mom

Who have you most feared in your life? no person. just weather

What is your strongest reason for your opinion on abortion? it makes logical sense

What one natural thing would you most like to see? idk

Do you like the game Tetris? yesssss

What’s the most rebellious thing you’ve ever done? idk

Have you ever wanted to be a model? yes

Do you like your name how it’s spelled? sure

Who was your first online friend? i don't remember

Your last ex: how did you two get together? i don't even remember tnh

Does your mom dye her hair? Yes

What’s the best kind of video game? (Adventure, shooting, etc) stories

Do you know anyone who has road rage? Yes

Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? No.

Have you ever tried to break up anyone because YOU liked the guy/girl? no

Do you draw fanart of anything? No

What was the last music video you watched? Did you like it? i don't know

What’s a condition you have that you haven’t been officially diagnosed with? how can i be diagnosied with something but not officially?

Which one of your parents do you think is smarter? my dad

Have you ever supported anyone’s Kickstarter? If so, what was it? idk probably

What band has the power to make you cry by splitting up? bring me the horizon

Can grills be sexy on a guy? no

What’s your favorite comic book/graphic novel? the umbrella academy

Do you prefer original or sour Skittles? Neither

Do you find it easy to pass the time or do you get really bored? easy

Have you ever been in a Catholic confessional? No

Who was the last non-relative you rode in a vehicle with? my friend jennifer

What was the title of the last song you listened to? Idk

Who is the lead singer of your favorite band? oli sykes

Do you expect to be married in the next 2 years? i expect to still be married

Have you ever had an allergic reaction to an insect? no

Who IMed you on Facebook last? caitlin

Is there an item that you bought on a whim, but now consider it a crucial part of your life and you would or have purchased it again? idk

What flags do you have in your room, if any? none

What was the last thing you ate? a starburst

What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? tornados

Do you or your parents rake your yard? n/a

If you’re not straight, who was the first person you came out to? no one.

Where did you meet the last person you swapped numbers with? idk

Who was the last person to add you as a friend on Facebook? i'm not sure

#me #survey

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cozymogai · 2 years ago

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emojimixic gendies lol

Here's the site I used, all emojis used is from this site.

emixic = (e)moji + mix + ic

ALSO, some of these might be eye straining!!

Rainbowirisemixi (Rainbow + iris + emixic)

A gender tied to the emoji in the flag! This gender is also very much the concept of weirdcore + "queer radar" aka; concept of being able to tell if somebeing is queer just by looking at them.

Catcoupleemixic (Cat + couple + emixic)

A gender tied to the emoji in the flag! This gender is also tied to being queer in a very confused way, it's also tied to the game stray.

Daisyarrowemixic (Daisy + arrow + emixic)

A gender tied to the emoji in the flag! This gender is also tied to making flower crowns with your lovers + platonic cupid.

Rainbowheadsetemixic (Rainbow + headset + emixic)

A gender tied to the emoji in the flag! This gender is also tied to listening to queer music by queer artists in the dark while drawing queer art.

Blossomletteremixic (Blossom + letter + emixic)

A gender tied to the emoji in the flag! This gender is also tied to the classic anime trope of an anime girl being in love and giving her senpai a love letter envelope. (This has no ties to being yandere.)

Crowncatemixic (Crown + cat + emixic)

A gender tied to the emoji in the flag! This gender is also tied to cats just...fucking knocking shit over. LMAO.

Narccatemixic (Narc + cat + emixic)

A gender tied to the emoji above in a reclamation of the weird crown trope beings do with pwNPD, lol. It's tied to NPD & cats, it's only to be used by pwNPD!

Catbatemixic (Cat + bat + emixic)

A gender tied to the emoji in the flag! This gender is also tied to the show gravity falls, and cryptids!

Rainbowdaisyemixic (Rainbow + daisy + emixic)

A gender tied to the emoji in the flag! This gender is also tied to steampunk kidcore mixed with neon aesthetics.

Bdaycakencoffeemixic (Bday + cake + n (and) + coffee + emixic)

A gender tied to the emoji in the flag! This gender is also tied to brown aesthetics, chaotic academia aesthetics, and waking up at 6am to make coffee + have birthday cake due to it being your birthday and celebrating before work/going out with friends/etc.

Bouqueteyeemixic (Bouquet + eye + emixic)

A gender tied to the emoji in the flag! This gender is also tied to weirdcore + feeling watched in a pleasuring way.

Orangerobotpeelemixic (Orange + robot + peel + emixic)

A gender tied to the emoji in the flag! This gender is also tied to being robotkin (optionally, it's not needed to use this gender.) and enjoying eating fruits due to not being able to before for x,y,z past reasons.

Rainbowtrophyemixic (Rainbow + trophy + emixic)

A gender tied to the emoji in the flag! This gender is also tied to being the best queer in the world lmao.

Tigercoupleemixic (Tiger + couple + emixic)

A gender tied to the emoji in the flag! This gender is also tied to being a butch in a butch relationship in a femmasc gay lesbian mspec way.

#cozy coining #dont tag as q slur please #anti endo mogai #gender coining #mogai gender #mogai safe #mogai coining #mogai pride #mogai blog #pro mogai #mogai #aemogai

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oro-e-diamanti · 3 years ago

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Quiet Music: Scherzo (Chapter Six; Part One)

In collaboration with @bethanysnow

Dreams turn into reality on smokey breaths. Inner turmoil melts away with the touch from warm skin. Promises make the evening decisions go from complicated to deliciously easy.

Content | Fluff, slight smut warning, tw soft drugs (marijuana)

Pairing | fem!Reader x Damiano

Word Count | 4421

Taglist | @damianodavide @lizstans @unitersmoonshine @its-afucking-mess @ethaneskin @dont-let-me-drown-in-you @vampirtet @lividisuigomiti @juststalking @tabi-toast @ethan-torchio-angelo @cheese-toastie-11 @thewitchinthemountain @ethanesimp @sofckinelectric @man3skin @daddydamiano @finelinejpm @superchrystaldrug @ginny-lily @everythingisdefinitelynotfine @nientedaridere @rainbowmarta @tiaamberxx @shaunthesheesh @enjcltaire @rocketqueen @aleksanderwh0r3 @damianodavidhands @megann-duff @teatrodellavita @coven-daddy @till-you-scream-and-cry @solasullabarca @fanfictionandfluff @makapaka11 @slave4yourlove @geklutst-ei @marriedwithmarktuan @bookish0918 @mehrmonga @kanevill @butterfly-skinnylegend @lidiyabest @killerqueen1985 @ccweasley @bluscryn @deluxeplanteater @ohtorchio @messyhairday-me @bidet-and-legolas @maybanksslut @katyldamusic @fuckim-so-gay @demoiselle-en-detresse00 @petit-poussin @fedorable-killjoys @luvbadass @buttercup-beeee @navs-bhat @etaerealboyv @tryymebitch @mell-bell @fenhakwe @solacestyles @softforlukescurls @vicsangel @theimpossiblehologramtree @alina-exe @cherricola66

***

Soft skin against his fingers. A hand running down his chest to his pants. Heavy breathing filling the room. The flesh underneath him felt warm and welcoming, hot to the touch and begging for more. Her perfume filled his senses as she pulled him close. Nails running down his back. Whispers of "amore mio, just like that", "keep going,” “cara mia, vita mia, please".

A “Dami, fuck” leaving her lips as his hand started gripping her thighs. Running between them, as she threw her head back, fingers tangled in his hair, pulling on it. Biting her neck. Coaxing more moans out of him, on a mission to make him lose his mind. She was heaven on earth. Supple breasts moving with every breath as he let his mouth descend on them, one at a time, desperate to consume all of her. Kissing every inch of her, exploring her until he knew about every curve, every ridge, every little spot of her body. He wanted to know all the secrets she ever had. Drawing noises out of her that he wanted to keep hearing for the rest of his life. Her hands on his shoulders, on his back, on his arse. Pulling him further into her. Letting his mouth wander lower, getting wrapped up between her legs. She looked at him with dark eyes, nodding, and he was ready to suffocate in between her thighs.

Wait, was he actually suffocating on her thighs?

Damiano woke up with a start, face pressed deeply into the pillow, restricting his breathing in a way that was much less sexy than the one in his dream. A circle of drool had escaped his mouth and dropped onto the pillow. Well, that's embarrassing, he thought to himself.

He was in the middle of pushing himself up and out of bed, highly aware of the situation in his boxers - only to be interrupted when a knock on the door startled him. Trying to wrap the sheet around him, suddenly overly self-conscious of his state, he hastened to the door, almost tripping several times on the way. When he finally unlocked and opened it, he just about let his head appear in the opening, awkwardly hiding between the door still. Y/n’s face was painted in confusion. He forgot how stunning she really was, his brain not even coming close to painting her image in his dreams.

“Yes, hi, good morning, I’m up! I’ll be down in an hour!” He was rushing to finish his sentence, not giving her a chance to reply before he let the door fall back into its lock. A deep breath out. Her face instilled in his mind like a photograph, unable to be separated from the extremely vivid dream he’d just had. He felt bad. He had essentially slammed the door in her face while wrapped up in a bedsheet. Not a very good impression considering he liked the woman behind the door. This was going to be such a long day.

***

“Why are you so awkward?” Victoria nudged Damiano as they had settled on a couch on the bus. He had been looking off since she had first seen him that morning, which was odd. Especially considering he was usually more of an early bird than the rest of them. “Sleep badly? Bad dreams? Good dreams? Or did you scare Y/n away again with another morning wood incident.”

Damiano’s face burned up as if suddenly ignited, making Victoria gasp.

“Oh my god, did you?!” She smacked his chest with her hand as she let out a gasp.

“I wasn’t even aware you knew about the first time,” Damiano mumbled, slumping down deeper into the seat. Crawling into the shirt he was wearing. Anything to get out of this conversation.

“Word travels fast on tour, you should know that by now,” she giggled, repositioning so she had her legs spread across his thighs. “So what happened?”

“I’m not going to talk about that with you,” he scoffed. Victoria’s grin only spread further, though. She was loving this side of Damiano more than she would like to admit - shy, awkward, unsure of himself. He was one of the best people she knew, an amazing frontman, a talented musician, a loyal friend. Yet with one little addition to the team he had turned into a quivering mess.

“You know I’m just going to ask Y/n what happened, right?”

“Yeah good luck with that, she didn’t even notice. At least I hope not.”

“Wait - so you hid your boner from her? I mean, at least you didn’t traumatise her again. What happened though, did you have some good times before the wake-up call?” She once again nudged him obnoxiously, loving how uncomfortable she was making him. “Did you have a wet dream? Did- Oh my god, you’re blushing, you did have a wet dream! Tell me everything! Was it hot? Did she go down on you or something? Did you see her tits?”

“Fuck off Victoria, I’m not telling you anything, now stop! It’s no like-”

“Hi! Attention, everyone! I know it's early and everyone is probably still asleep. But - announcements! That includes you Thomas,” Y/n said pulling the curtain of the guitarist’s bunk back so he could listen too.

Victoria noticed how their assistant didn’t seem spooked by Damiano’s presence at all - it seemed like he had been right after all. She hadn’t noticed a thing. If only those two would stop playing cat and mouse and finally do something, anything, she thought.

"Now, I know we're all excited about going to Amsterdam today, and I'm not looking at anyone in particular here," she explained as she shot a pointed look at Damiano that no one missed. "But I have one ground rule: no weed before the show. You got tomorrow off, so whatever you do after the performance tonight is none of my business. But god help you if I find you with a joint in hand any time before that."

She smiled, but Victoria had no doubts she would be deadly serious if it came to it. Y/n passed out a map of the local area, highlighting the Leidseplein in the middle of town, and in red circles were the venue, the hotel they were staying at, restaurants, and several coffeeshops, all within easy walking distance.

“Do with that what you like,” she concluded. ”As long as you do it after the show.”

***

The band had gotten to the venue straight after lunch, excitedly discussing some new covers they were thinking about playing that night. Soundcheck consisted of a number of conversations all at once, trying to figure out how to change the setlist. Damiano found himself participating less, instead, staring down at Y/n sitting in the audience. She was busy writing in her notebook, the seats next to her taken up by her bag, folders, and laptop. He knew she needed a break. They all worked extremely hard all the time, so it wasn't difficult to spot the signs of a fellow overworked person. He made it his own personal mission to get her to go out with them that night. Spend some time outside of work, see the city, anything that made her put her phone down.

As day turned to night, the concert loomed on the horizon. As soon as they hit the stage, it was clear it was going to be a good night. Amsterdam was the best kind of crazy. Going from Zitti e Buoni into Billie Eilish's Bury a Friend, the crowd went wild. Damiano noticed with amusement that Y/n was absentmindedly dancing along from her spot on the side of the stage as well. His attention had only been diverted towards her for a second, he was sure, but it was enough to suddenly feel something hit his head. Soft, red fabric.

"Was wondering when the first of those would come around," Damiano chuckled into the microphone in between songs, swinging the bra around a few times, before draping it across his mic stand.

Yet as much as the energy of the audience rubbed off on the band, all of them felt like collapsing after the show, feeling like they'd given it more than their all. A perfect chance to unwind for the night, in a way only Amsterdam really knew how. It was legal, after all.

***

“I am absolutely not getting high with you lot.”

Everyone was gathered in Y/n’s hotel room more or less uninvited. It seemed like they were dying to drag her along on what was supposed to be one of the best nights out on that tour. After getting ready, they had simply stormed in as soon as she had opened her hotel door. Now they were perched on her bed, her desk, and her armchair, trying to convince her.

“I gave you all a map to see where you could go. I, for one, would like to stay in my room, just me and my bed, and sleep till my alarm in the morning. That sounds like a brilliant time in my book.”

“Boring!” Thomas shouted, hurling a pillow from the bed at her that she quickly caught and threw back with much less force.

“If you come out with us, we’ll be ready before your wake-up call for the rest of the week!” Victoria tried to bribe.

“If you come out with us, we’ll have breakfast ready for you every day!” Y/n shot a look at Thomas, knowing fully well this was not going to happen. The idea alone made her laugh.

“If you come out with us, you can keep me company while the other three go crazy?” Ethan finally offered. She knew she was close to giving in, no matter how wrong it seemed to blur the lines between working relationship and friendship. She barely even agreed to drinks when she was on the job, and technically, she considered herself to be on the job 24/7. Yet these four had grown close to her heart so much more than anticipated.

Out of nowhere Damiano appeared next to her, slinging his arm around her shoulder. The way his fingertips brushed her neck as he did so left goosebumps. “Come on, darling, I promise I’ll take care of you.”

It turned out, that was all she had needed to hear.

***

The coffeeshop didn’t differ much from the usual pubs and bars; people stuffed in every corner, a low murmur of talk with the occasional loud laughter over the music playing in the background, tables full of glasses and bottles. Only the smoke lingering in the air, its distinct smell, and the relaxed atmosphere let on that it was a slightly different kind of place. Y/n made short work of weaseling through the crowd and securing a table at the far end of the place, just enough space to accommodate all of them, as the others went to order.

“Do you want one as well?” Damiano asked as soon as he had let himself fall onto the couch next to her, already preparing to roll a joint.

“I think I’m getting a second-hand high just sitting here. Maybe take a puff of one of yours, but I won't be able to finish one myself."

Damiano nodded, licking the inside of the blanks as he prepared his joint. Victoria came bouncing in like a tidal wave - her usual fashion - and crashing into the others already sitting down. As soon as Damiano was happy with his creation, she snatched it out of his hand, making short work of lighting it and taking a drag.

“Hey, that was mine!”

“Make another one,” she grinned, obnoxiously blowing the smoke into his face. Rolling his eyes, Damiano quickly prepared another one for himself, everyone now happy and content with their smokes, until only Y/n was left holding at a glass of water.

She preferred to observe the scene from her little advantage point in the corner like she so often did. The mellow music in the background was loud enough to underline the atmosphere but quiet enough to easily talk to everyone around you without having to shout. She liked this much better than loud bars in the evening. Most people were minding their own business, in small groups or pairs, some on their own. Victoria was quick to start chatting to a pair of girls sitting at the table next to them. She wasn’t going to lie - while not her usual spot, she didn’t exactly feel uncomfortable.

A hand appeared in front of her face, seemingly out of nowhere, and it took her a second to realise it was Damiano, trying to pass her his joint. She hesitated - still not convinced whether she should be smoking at all, but one look into his eyes only proved to her that she was weak to his suggestions. Parting her lips ever so slightly, she let him push the blunt between them, his fingertips grazing her. She took a drag, careful not to breathe in too much too quickly, before releasing the joint. Damiano pulled it back towards himself immediately, putting it back between his own lips, and she felt hypnotised. The moment came to an abrupt end when a cough took hold of her.

“Easy, easy,” Ethan soothed from the other side, his hand on her upper back. “Breathe.”

Everyone around the table seemed to be looking at her now, but she quickly got her composure back, holding up her hands in a gesture that was meant to signal she was fine.

“Fuck,” Y/n choked, taking a drink from her glass to wet her throat. “This is why I don’t smoke.”

“Wrong,” Thomas threw in. “This is because you don’t smoke!”

Y/n shook her head, giggling at the guitarist and the know-it-all look in his eyes.

“Up to try again?” Damiano whispered in her ear as the attention had finally ceased to be on her. She found herself staring into his eyes once again, a fluttery feeling erupting in her stomach at having him watch her so intently, at being able to capture his attention so easily.

The look on his face was enough to get her to try again. And again. And again.

She couldn’t tell how much time had passed, but for once, she genuinely didn’t care. The people around them had changed, old ones leaving, new ones arriving, but the music stayed the same. She wasn’t quite sure what the joke Thomas was telling them was about, but she found herself giggling along nonetheless. This was the best she had felt in forever.

Unaware of what she was doing, she leaned back, finding Damiano’s arms carefully wrapping around her, holding her softly. To her own surprise, she was sinking into him.

“Having fun?” He asked in a voice so low she barely heard it. A voice so soft it made her heart melt. She nodded, slightly twisting around in his embrace to look at him again. She couldn’t get enough of his face. She’d stay and study it for all of eternity if he let her.

"Have you ever seen brown zircon?” She suddenly asked out of nowhere. “It's a gemstone that looks like they made sparkly salted caramel bonbons from rock. They mine it in Tanzania, I think? Your eyes sparkle just like that." She grinned at the man beside her. "I can attest to that from this angle at least. It’s like the one scene in Aladdin! 'She's got these eyes, and this hair and…’ Ah oh god, what am I doing?" She couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous she was being. She found her face resting on his shoulder, completely content. His eyes never wavered from her face, listening closely to what she had to say.

Then Y/n watched her hand brush Damiano’s hair to the front, attempting to style it in a slightly different way. “Did you mean to look like Eren Yeager or was that some sort of subconscious coincidence? Not that it doesn’t look good, of course.”

“You watch Attack on Titan?” Dami looked down at her with surprise.

“No I don’t, but my friends do. So you learn the names of the people they yell at through the TV screen very quickly,” she laughed, remembering the way her friends would huddle in the living room, shouting at whatever the characters were doing wrong in their opinion.

“The more I get to know you, the more I’m convinced you’re my kinda woman, you know?” he mumbled, a smile grazing his lips. The more she looked at him, the more she felt her brain shutting off and her heart taking over. Or was it the high? She wasn’t interested in trying to differentiate.

Once again, he pushed the joint between her lips, holding the eye contact and it felt so much more intimate than it should have. It felt like her nerves were on fire. When he pulled his hand back again, she wanted to grab onto it, keep him in place, keep the moment.

I could stay in this forever, Y/n thought to herself.

"Also, I'm not religious by any means, but whatever God was responsible for creating you sure took their sweet time doing it…" The words spilled from her mouth before she realized she was talking, eyes flicking back and forth between his. "You know?"

She caught herself looking at his lips. A small blush grew on her face as she looked away. Staring out into the room, out at the people sitting next to them at other tables. Something distracting to take the rising heat off.

***

Damiano could feel his defenses wearing away. All ideas of staying away completely vanished into the smoke that lulled them in as he was holding her in his arms, her back leaning against his chest. He could feel her breathing, giggling at nothing at all, or maybe something Victoria had said but he hadn’t heard.

“If anyone’s been made by the angels, it’s you, amore,” he mumbled more to himself than anything, but she had heard him. Another chuckle running through her body. The atmosphere was fogging up his brain. He watched in amusement as he let a finger run up her arms, from her wrist to her upper arm where the fabric of her shirt began, and goosebumps appeared as if standing tall in a row. He tried it again on the other arm, getting the same result.

“What are you doing?”

She was turning around in his arms, just enough to look at him without removing herself from his embrace. He wondered if it was the dim light or if she was always this radiant. His hands travelled to the elastic that was holding her hair together and carefully removed it, eyes on her. Her hair fell around her face, framing it beautifully in its typically wild manner.

“I…” Her eyes seemed to twinkle as the light of the bar reflected back at him through them. “I don’t know.”

He looked away, suddenly insecure. What was he doing? He wasn’t sure. All he knew was that he couldn’t keep his hands off her, now less than ever. He wanted her. Wanted her all to himself. Wanted to keep holding her like this forever. There was no denying that.

“You’re sweet.”

Her voice took a second to get through to him, but as it did, he turned his head as if in slow motion. All he had wanted to do was look at her again, but that wasn’t what happened. Instead, her lips were on his.

***

All Y/n had done was lean forward to press a kiss against his cheek. Now their lips were meeting and she didn’t know how she had gotten there. She wanted to pull back - no, actually she didn’t. But she thought she should. Though the spirit was willin - to pull away, that was -, the flesh was weak. Delving deeper into his arms, she found herself kissing him like she meant it. Her hands found his chest, feeling the rising heat from his skin. Being closer to him than ever before was driving her crazy. His soft, warm lips against hers. Just the tiniest movements, as if he was afraid of breaking her. She let herself enjoy it. For a moment. That was all her brain allowed before switching back to the rational part. She pulled back in surprise.

She moved out of his embrace, stiffening at the contact. All of the twinkling lights of romance that had just appeared around them now popped as the kiss ended.

I just kissed my boss. I just fucking went and kissed Damiano! I am so, so fucked.

Yet, she couldn't deny that she wanted to kiss him again. And again, and again until they ran out of air to breathe. She looked back at him and the expression on his face said it all. His lids lowered, a small smile appearing on his face. Eyes twinkling in the soft light. He hadn’t wanted the kiss to end either. Either that or the weed was affecting him more than she had thought.

But as cold air started to seep in between them he blinked a couple of times, only now noticing that she had pulled away.

"Sorry - about that. I was trying to- I wasn't trying to kiss you. Well, I was - but not on the mouth. That would have been very forward of me. I would never. That's not me. I don't know how that happened - sorry." Y/n rambled on, unable to stop talking.

Damiano smirked, pecking her cheek. "Y/n, it's fine, you're fine. I turned my head and we kissed. It happens." He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. As if this was some sort of common occurrence. As if she was panicking for nothing. Was she?

***

Damiano desperately tried to hide the turmoil inside of him. It happens?! Damiano, what the hell are you thinking! Not the right thing to say in this situation! Now it just looks like you’d kiss anyone, great. He looked down at his hands, fumbling with his rings. Trying to get his breathing back under control. He needed to be cool.

"I mean - not that I didn't enjoy it. You kiss good!"

You kiss good? What the? That wasn’t even English. He was well and truly losing his mind.

***

Y/n took a deep breath, sitting back in her seat, making sure not to be as close to Damiano as she had been before. Victoria and Thomas had migrated to get more drinks and Ethan was deeply entrenched in some conversation with a man next to him. Luckily the rest of the band hadn't seen what just happened. Grabbing her glass once more, the cold wet condensation gave a stark contrast to her warm skin.

The kiss still left a tingly feeling on her lips. Quickly looking at Damiano, she met his eyes. He had not looked away yet, it seemed. She watched as he bit his lip in contemplation. Whatever was playing on his mind, Y/n didn't know. His words left her believing he wasn’t quite as put together as he tried to pretend. He certainly wasn’t making much sense. Although, she wouldn’t dismiss his compliment of her kissing abilities. She wondered if he would think similarly if they did it again, or did more than that…

Her wandering thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a loud crash. The culprit was quickly spotted. The middle of the coffeeshop, which had been empty of people until then, now had Thomas lying on his front, surrounded by liquid and broken glass.

Y/n didn’t hesitate, jumping up to offer her aid. The worry only lasted for a second though, until Thomas turned on his back, giggling maniacally. She barely managed to kick some shards out of the way before he could roll onto them.

She let out a deep sigh at the state of the guitarist, before quickly apologizing to the people at the bar.

“Everyone help me grab Thomas, I think this is our sign to call it a night.”

***

Y/n thought she’d have an easy time going to sleep. The effects of the joint were lingering, plus, the day had just been plain exhausting. Yet, as her head hit the pillow, she felt restless. Her mind kept circling around Damiano. The way he had looked at her. The way he had looked in general. She had seen him basically naked at this point, but she still thought about how it would be different up close and personal. She wished she had been able to read his eyes more. Had he been thinking about the same things she had? Had he wanted to kiss her again and again, get lost in that bubbling excitement of finally being close, finally let his hands wander to new places? She wanted to pull his hair. See what kind of sound would leave his mouth when doing so.

She wanted his hands and his lips, all of him really, badly. She wanted to know what he felt like when he really kissed her. What his fingers would be able to do to her. Biting and moaning. She desperately needed some release, wishing it would come from him, but knowing there was no chance, at least not tonight. Her hand wandered between her legs as she let her mind run wild. Imagining it was him instead, letting his fingers run along the inside of her thighs, exploring every inch of her. How he would treat her just right, hit all the right spots, do so much better than her own fingers ever could. The words he’d whisper in her ear, seducing her with his mother tongue, breath fanning her skin. How he would kiss her senseless. Feeling the rhythm of their bodies take over. Watch his tattoos start to glisten with a sheen of sweat from what they would be doing.

She found her release almost embarrassingly quickly, burying her face in her pillow. Her body felt more at ease, although her heart was still craving something more. She had almost calmed down, getting her breathing back under control. In a moment of clarity, she checked her phone to see when she had to wake up the next day, when the sound of a moan caught her attention. One that definitely wasn’t her own, but seemed to come from the room next door.

Damiano’s room.

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