#don't worry kara

[writingfanficsfan]

Someone smart needs to explain to me why I needed to pay 61 euros more for my wonderful books by @not-close-to-straight to come to my damn country. What are they even doing with that money? Using it to buy their own books? 

It’s not drugs idiots, it’s books. Why do you need 61 euros to take my packages of books off the damn plane and then bring it to my house?! It can’t be that large and heavy that you need 61 euros more to hire someone to lift it, right?! 😡

[suzukiblu]

Oh no- the latest "Kara didn't sign up for this" has be wondering-- do the boys know that KAL is their guardian? Did Kal ever say the word "father" to them at all, in any way? I mean, I'm asking but judging by the lack of names and literally anything, I have to assume not. Oh my fucking god. I would like to help Kara murder him.

“He’s not my fucking ‘guardian’ either!” Thirteen shouts at her. “I’m not a fuckin’ kid, for fuck’s sake, I’m only fucking here at all because literally every goddamn person I knew was gonna get screwed over if I didn’t come! I got fucking arrested into this!” 

“They were just going to conscript me into Task Force X if I didn’t cooperate,” Match says, almost idly. Thirteen’s eyes flare angrily, and the edges of his jacket fly up like he’s just been dropped underwater and his hair twists in nonexistent currents, and Kara figures that it’s officially safe to blame the telekinesis, yes. 

“What’s Task Force X?” she asks slowly.

[sssammich]

fic: come what may

a/n: this is a continuation of THIS post which was inspired by the fanart. please give that fanart some love if you haven't, it was so very compelling to me and that's why we're here.

anyway read the first part and then come back to this lol

---

Lena retreated to the single stall washroom after graciously thanking everyone around her for their applause and cheering. In the quiet of the small space, she was able to think about the last five minutes of her life. 

It had been a week since she had spoken last with the caped hero, the word ‘villain’ rang in Lena’s ears still to this day. 

It had stung her, lanced through her more like. But in this world, she had no choice but to keep moving forward if only to survive. She knew that reintegrating Lex back into her life was a risk, but what was the alternative? To let back in the one person she’d trusted with so much of herself only to be the same one who broke Lena irreparably? It figured that they would be one in the same. Supergirl had a habit of being duplicitous, after all. 

Despite all of these thoughts, the dance had been more than she anticipated. For a brief moment in time, her world narrowed to the size of the dance floor when she and her former best friend twirled and glided across the space, held close to one another, swaying to the beat of the song.

Until Supergirl called out to her, the tenor of her voice bringing up a world long gone, the time together but a distant memory. Only to then ask her, “what’s your plan here, Lena?” 

The illusion broke through and shattered all around them, and her eyes darkened, her heart hardened. 

“You will never trust me,” she announced finally when she looked at Kara’s beautiful face, her equally beautiful blue eyes. Now, an enemy. “I can see it in your eyes.” 

She pulled away and turned, not sure she could look at that face again, anymore. Still, she would admit that it was enough consolation to see Supergirl on edge, to put her on her red-booted back foot.

She recalled turning her head slightly and caught enough of Supergirl's departure from the middle of the dance floor and into the evening sky. It gave her some satisfaction, but not nearly enough to placate the ache in her chest. 

Lena stared at her reflection; her makeup remained impeccably applied, impeccably in place despite the exertion of their dancing. The heat of Kara’s hands lingered all over her body, the warmth of those hands pressed into her, holding her in the illusion of safety as the song notes progressed. Her former best friend was clumsy in her movements, at least at first. It would have delighted Lena plenty to see Supergirl stumble her way through her movements. Yet, she held her own and led the two of them throughout the dance floor in an acceptable tango. On any other day, any other moment, she would have been charmed by it, let herself be led around so long as they stayed in each other's arms.

But those moments were no longer accessible to them. 

She returned to her guests and maneuvered through the compliments and conversations, but every now and again, she glanced up into the open sky. Just in case.

—

In the end, Lex was defeated and rid of once and for all. The details of it were fuzzy to her now, but none of it mattered. Simply that he was gone from her life for good, that he would no longer be a terror to anyone and everyone, to those she loved. 

Once again, however, she was left to pick up what remained of his ruinous rampage, if only to be surrounded by something beyond her isolation. 

It was just a few scant weeks ago that she’d reached a truce with Kara and her Superfriends (nevermind that she’d once thought of them as her own friends, as well). Now here she stood weeks later: alone. 

Lena had run out of options or excuses and finally sought out help from Kara without hope or expectation for true reconciliation or forgiveness, from either of them. They’d drawn their lines from one another so long ago, she’d considered them carved in stone. 

Now she stood on her empty balcony overlooking the city just after the sun had set and the sky was now engulfed in dark blue. 

Without a brother, a mother, a father. An orphan, twice over. It seemed that she was destined to live in solitude. They say no man was an island, yet perhaps Luthors were. 

She gazed at the last remnants of the setting sun across the horizon, not giving away that she heard the sound of a cape billowing at the far end of the balcony. She made no move to say or do anything, simply took a sip of the amber liquid in her glass. If Supergirl had anything to say, then Lena was not going to stop her. 

“How are you?” Kara finally said, after minutes trickled past them. 

She scoffed, unable to help herself. She glanced over her shoulder and watched as Kara hovered outside of the balcony. She simply took another sip of her drink. 

Kara, never one to leave well enough alone, moved so that her feet touched the ground and she stood somewhere behind her. Lena closed her eyes and took a swig of all of her remaining drink. 

“You’re trespassing.” 

“I know.” 

“I can have you arrested.” 

“That’s fine.” 

“What do you want from me?” 

“A dance.” 

Lena quickly turned around, Kara standing only a few feet away, her arm outstretched. She glanced up and met blue eyes, an ocean of patience. 

Resigned, Lena unfurled the fist by her side and placed it in the offered hand. She took a step forward until their bodies were almost flush with one another, Kara’s other hand placed on the small of her back. An easy fit between them. A thought that Lena shoved into a box for rumination and reflection later on. 

“There’s no music,” she commented needlessly even as she put her free hand on Kara’s shoulder, her nerves manifesting in lightly scratching the fabric of the supersuit under her fingertips. 

“There’s always music.” Just then, Kara pulled her phone from a hidden compartment behind her and pressed the screen until soft music started playing. It was the final duet in Moulin Rouge between the two leads, where she and Kara shed a tear or two when they watched it in the past—a distant lifetime ago. They were now extraordinarily different people from those versions of themselves. 

“This musical was a tragedy.” 

The superhero shrugged, her eyes focused past Lena’s head. “I know.” 

“Are you trying to tell me something?” 

Kara eventually returned her attention until their eyes met and Lena waited. She watched as Kara took a deep breath and offered Lena a cautious smile, resignation plastered on her own face. “I’m trying to tell you a lot of somethings.”

She studied Kara’s face, wanted to glean any kind of information from her features alone, but Kara betrayed nothing. “Start with one.” 

“I’ve been practicing.” When she furrowed her brows in confusion, Kara clarified by twirling Lena out of her embrace only to pull her back into her orbit once again. This time without bumbling through any of the movements nor without a stutter in her steps.  

The move surprised Lena enough to take her breath away, her senses suddenly alight as she considered what any of it meant. When? How? Why?

“Tell me another,” she whispered, her hands grasping tighter onto Kara just as the song started to swell. 

“I want to start over.” 

Lena stopped in her tracks so Kara did, too. Distantly, Lena observed that neither released their holds of one another.

“Why? We’ll only hurt each other.” 

“Maybe. Probably,” Kara supplied before tugging Lena back closer to her and swayed side to side to encourage Lena to do the same. “But life without you in it is infinitely worse, I think. So if it’s all the same to you, I’ll take my chances.” 

Lena’s heart felt like it was getting catapulted across time and space. And maybe it was actually getting catapulted along with every sway she took with Kara. Still, she couldn’t help but push. “Even with a villain?” 

Kara grimaced slightly before flashing an apologetic smile. “Sure, Lena. Even with a villain.” 

“I was one, you know,” she offered, watching for Kara’s response. She was complicit, had gotten her own hands dirty. She owned up to that. 

“I know.” But Kara simply shrugged and brought them closer. “Believe it or not, I’ve been one, too. You’re not exactly very special in that department, Lena.” 

A small laugh that bubbled out of her caught her off guard, and Kara smiled at her before spinning her away and back together again until Lena hid her face against the crook of Kara’s neck until the song finally ended. 

They parted from each other, Kara taking a step back until she was a few feet away, her hands clasped in front of her. 

“Thanks for the dance,” Kara said. 

“You’ve gotten better.” 

“I appreciate that. It means the practice has been paying off.” As if nodding to herself, Kara gave her a smile and began to turn so as to take off into the night sky, but Lena stopped her. 

“Tell me one more,” she urged, realizing she didn’t want their interaction to end quite yet. 

Kara then looked over her shoulder. “Can I come back tomorrow?” 

“If you’d like.” 

“I’ll tell you tomorrow.” 

“I’ll hold you to it.” 

Kara’s body twisted so she was looking at Lena more fully. “Goodnight, Lena.” 

“Goodnight, Kara.” 

Lena watched as she took off into the sky, disappearing into the night. She’d stayed out there for a little while longer, the heat of her drink coursing through her veins while the moment between them warmed her against the cool breeze that passed through. 

Nothing had yet been fixed, and there was a long road ahead of them. But something in her caged heart had loosened, allowing her to breathe again. That was a start.

[sugarsnappeases]

Here’s to hoping (and how it kills you)

jegulus | mature | 5.8k words | for @static-radio-ao3 happy birthday darling i love youuuu <333

“Regulus.”

Oh, he is going to kill someone, perhaps himself, Regulus thinks, as he meets the eyes of the man behind the counter, the man who had just spoken his name in that cold, unfeeling tone, the man who used to speak it as if he were prying open an oyster and finding a precious pearl in every syllable.

This is not happening. This is not supposed to be happening. Regulus had planned specifically so that this would not happen. He frowns, “Why are you here?”

“What do you mean why am I here?” James scoffs, “This is my job. Of course I’m here.”

*****

in which minor tragedy befalls regulus' nice winter coat, amongst other earth-shattering happenings

[tokutaiseichan]

EN: Jin Kamurai is [...] captain of Frostheim House

JP: Jin Kamurai, who has been serving as the captain of Frostheim House since this year

(From Episode 1 Chapter 30)

I saw someone in JP fandom pointed this out (the fact that Jin may not be the Frostheim captain last year) and was flabbergasted at how different the wording in the EN translation is.

Honestly it never occurred to me the possibility that Jin may not be the Frostheim captain once (considering his status y'know?), but this changes things...

I wonder if this is a mistake? Since Kaito said until last year, Jin is "the definition of a Charismatic Leader"...

[flowerakatsuka]

latest kurokara art is having i think the opposite intended effect on me because it made me wish i were kara in that situation. it made me go "i wish kuro would pat me and tell me they'd plant a rose bush for me if i became a worm". got emotionally affected by yumejoshi (gender neutral) art but was afflicted by the joshi (gender neutral) in the situation

THIS IS SO SWEET OH MY GOD, THANK YOU??? 😭 i totally get what you mean, though. i'll be completely honest, i project more onto kara than kuroba in some of the drawings i've done of them and that last one definitely falls into that category. like who wouldn't want to be the cringe trophy failwife to a kind-hearted androgynous florist? dude's living the dream. it does makes me happy that we've got some kuroba girls ( also gender neutral ) out there now hehe. kara would be jazzed about it, too!

had to draw the two canon kuroba girls in these shirts, too.

[rustingcat]

Stars

Kara knew it was going to be a long day the moment her sister called her at 5 am, and asked her to help with a rampaging alien in town. She kissed her girlfriend softly on the forehead and teared herself out of bed, put on her suit and jumped into National City's sky.

It was well after 8 when Kara finished dealing with the aftermath, stopping to help the firefighters to take control of the area and clear out any debris. She made it to her office at eight twenty five, after a quick stop to shower at home, only five minutes short of her meeting with Cat. She shot Lena a quick message to reassure her she was okay, promising to make it to lunch and went in to greet Cat.

The meeting stretched longer than she liked. She started daydreaming about lunch with Lena and considered surprising her with some flowers just because, when her phone rang again with Alex emergency ringtone for the second time that day. Cat waved at her dismissively, telling her to "go save the day." Kara flashed her an apologetic smile and left.

She's only been to the new DEO a handful of times after she stepped back from most of her Supergirl duties. It was quite similar to the previous one, if only the Med bay had better access and less glass doors. J'onn and Alex were already near the big screen, styling the schematics of an old warehouse.

"What's up Alex?" She asked, making herself known to the group.

"It's about the attack from this morning." Alex said.

"Did he escape?"

"No, apparently this guy was a distraction. While you were fighting with him, there was a massive break in inside a large warehouse belonging to Lord industries. They were working on a special energy source that was far from market ready, which means it's highly dangerous." Alex used her serious tone, meaning things were worse than it seemed.

"If it was a distraction, did you try to interrogate the attacker from this morning?"

"That's the other thing," J'onn crossed his arms, his brow furrowed. "We identified him as a G'newtian, a very peaceful species that is more likely to give up than even attempt a fight."

"Then, why..?"

"We found traces of toxin in his blood," J'onn continued.

"He'd been dragged?"

"Most likely," He nodded. "We're working on an antidote, hopefully we'll be able to break him out of it soon."

"We are currently trying to locate him by searching for the energy signature, But we–"

"Director Danvers!" One of the agents cut her off. "We received a message that there's another attack near the pier."

"I'll take care of it," Kara announced. "You focus on the next heist."

"Alright, stay safe. We'll update you once the antidote is ready." Alex said and Kara flew out.

It was another G'newtian that greeted her at the pier, raging terror and destroying everything in sight. She did her best to hold him back, prioritising keeping civilians safe over taking him down. Nia joined in part way through the fight, using her dream energy shield to protect who she could. Kara didn't want to cause the poor soul any more damage than necessary, he was as much of a victim there as the rest of the people around then, if not more. When an agent told her the antidote was ready, she made a quick trip to the DEO balcony, leaving the young mother to make sure everyone was safe, took the antidote from the agent, and came back to swiftly stick it to his upper arm. It took a few seconds, but the G'newtian passed out motionless on the ground, ending the fight with minimal damage.

Kara just made it to the DEO with the G'newtian to let him recover, when Alex strode in, face furrowed and emanating pure frustration.

"I guess you didn't catch them?" Kara guessed, using a lighter voice to hopefully alleviate some of the tension. It didn't seem to work."What did they steal this time?"

"Power plant, they took the new L.L foundation's emergency energy capsule." Alex pulled up the schematic on the screen.

"They already have enough power to level the entire city with this thing." J'onn pointed out.

"You think they're building a bomb?" Alex inquired.

"There's a good chance for that." J'onn nodded.

Kara took a step back and let them continue the investigation as she checked her phone. It was well past lunch time, she quickly opened Lena's conversation to apologise, finding there a few messages asking her to be safe with little red hearts. She smiled to herself and pressed the call button.

"Kara! Are you okay?" Lena asked before she could even say hello.

"Yes, I'm more than fine," she tried to reassure her.

"Are you sure? Is there more going on? Do you need help?"

"I promise we got it under control, and if we need help, Alex will call you immediately."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, It's probably just another alien. I defeated many before."

"I know many aliens that are not 'just'."

"Oh, yeah? Anyone in particular?" Kara was grateful to break the tension with some light flirting.

"I wouldn't call you 'just'."

"What am I if I'm not 'just an alien'?"

There was a small beat of silence. "You're a gift from the stars, Kara."

Kara was left speechless, she wasn't ready for this kind of statement. Warm feelings spread throughout her body, giving her the energy she needed after everything she went through that day.

"Promise me you'll be safe, alright? We need you safe."

Kara nodded to herself and swallowed hard. "I promise."

"I love you."

"I love you, too

Read the rest of the chapter on AO3

[bisupergirl]

ultimately, i don't care if cwsg enjoyers only want to engage with the show's version of kara (+ other supporting characters) and aren't interested in engaging with the comics, but something that i find both annoying and funny is when something supergirl-related is announced and certain cwsg stans who refuse to learn anything about kara's comic canon (yet continue to engage with non-cwsg supergirl media...?) immediately say something along the lines of "i can't wait for when [insert cw supergirl specific character/relationship] appears in [insert upcoming dc media]!!"

it's equal parts funny and annoying to me because it's like. it's SO incredibly unlikely that you'll see any of those characters or relationships (at least those specific interpretations of them) again, and i don't know why you'd expect to...? it's 2024. at this point in time (especially in a post woman of tomorrow world) i really can't see dc intentionally incorporating anything significant from the show into either kara's comics or other media appearances.

everything from the show that has been incorporated into the comics is either not canon anymore/hasn't been mentioned since the beginning of infinite frontier (eliza/jeremiah, national city, kara's connection to the deo, cat working at catco and being kara's boss, "kara danvers" as kara's civilian name), or not even connected to comics!kara whatsoever (nia nal). i just think it's silly to automatically assume that any new piece of supergirl media will follow in the footsteps of a show that hardly ever engaged with supergirl lore/comics at all lmao.

anyway. this post was sponsored by me seeing someone say "we have kara and cat, now im just waiting for alex danvers to be cast!" after cat grant's actress was announced for superman (2025). i really hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you're never seeing alex danvers ever again.

[despair-tea]

Kara no Shoujo — Holiday

[yeetus-feetus]

it just occurred to me that, Clark was raised on Earth, he was raised with his feet on the ground. He was raised to walk and run just like any human child. It's natural to have his feet on ground.

But Kara? Kara was raised on Krypton, where flight was an everyday thing. She was raised to embrace her powers, to use them everyday. It's not natural to always have her feet on the ground.

Kara hovers everywhere, she can't be grounded for long. She needs to be able to freely use her powers, unlike Clark, who would feel more comfortable on the ground.

And that makes me wonder about Kon. I think he definitely hovers too. He can't not hover. He's spent all he his formative, developmental years hovering, using his TTK, fighting off bad guys. From the moment he left the tube all he was, was his power.

Following my rambling train of thought.. isn't it odd how much pressure is placed on Kon's shoulders? Like, He's only 16, chronologically even younger, and he's still trying to live up to name he was given. And not just Kon, but all the other kids too, it's odd how much responsibility is weighing down on them when they're just kids. Because all the OG heroes, all the heroes before them, the legends these literal children are trying to live up to, to be on par with, didn't even start their own hero careers until into their 20's.

It's unfair how burdened these children are to surpass their mentor, when said mentors hadn't even figured themselves out at their age. In all honesty, evey single one of those kids have FAR surpassed their mentors if you consider where those mentors were at when they were kids.

But still, Kon and all the other child heroes are expected to be on par with fully grown adults?

It just seems odd.

[meyerlansky]

endless thoughts about how karlach and astarion have bodily autonomy trauma and about how they're also demonstrably like... buds, almost immediately after you recruit karlach

[automaton-otto]

Ingvar gives Otto an apple pie!

... where on the Goddess' green earth the giant got it from is a mystery, but don't worry about it!

( Thanks for the ask @riiese )

Otto gained an Apple Pie

"The crispy, flaky pie crust and sweet apples are a match made in heaven."

"Oh Mr Ingvar! Thank you!" Otto beams happily, "This'll go great with some ice cream~"

"...Where'd you get it from anyway?"

"Don't worry about it."

[celestialgalaxyglow]

Batfam and Danny, Part 11

A few hours later.

The JL had finished debriefing after their raid on Luthor's lab, Most members had returned to their homes, but some still remained at the Watchtower to do some work.

Clark: Danny!

Danny: Hi Clark, back so soon?

Clark: Yes, I brought my family with me.

Danny: Kryptonite weakness removal?

Clark: Yes, if you don't mind.

Danny (getting up): Not at all.

Clark: Everyone this is Danny, Bruce's grandson, aka Phantom.

Danny: Hi.

Clark: These are my sons, Kon-El and Jon-El.

Kon: Hey.

Jon (flying over to Danny and giving him a hug): Hi, it's so good to meet you! Damian talks so much about you. He really likes to have someone to teach swordsmanship.

Damian: Damian also talks a lot about you, he really likes talking about how great of a best friend you are.

Jon: Yeah Damian's a great best friend too.

Clark: Jon, give Danny some room to breath.

Danny: Don't worry, I don't need to breath.

Clark: I- never mind. This is my cousin Kara Zor-El, and her kids Otho-Ra-El and Osul-Ra-El.

Kara: So you're the kid that eat a shard of Kryptonite?

Danny: It was delicious!

Kara: There is something about the House of Wayne that makes you children a little feral.

Danny shrugged

Otho: It's good to meet you Phantom. You may call me Octavia.

Osul: And me Oscar, unlike our relatives we care about our secret identities and don't use our Kryptonian names as our Earth names.

Clark, Kara, Kon, Jon: ...

Danny: Yeah... that's a bit of an oversight.

Kon: I-

Otho: A one letter difference doesn't count.

Osul: Honesty, Kon and Con.

Clark: I- I did not bring the two of you here to judge me.

Lois: The kids has a point.

Clark: And this is my wife Lois.

Lois: Hi. Not Kryptonian so I don't need any healing.

Kon: So you can just heal our weakness to Kryptonite?

Danny: Yup, if you guys could just stand still. Danny made his way through each of them snapping his fingers. There you go, that should due the job.

Bruce: Let's see. Bruce reached into his toolbelt and took out a small shard of Kryptonite. Here you go.

Kara: You just keep Kryptonite, on your person?

Bruce: Clark gave it to me.

Clark: I give all the Kryptonite I find to Bruce for safe keeping.

Kara: I knew that, I just didn't expect he'd just carry it around at all times. Anyways let me see. She picked up the shard of Kryptonite and fiddled with it. Hmm nothing. Clark. She threw the shard to Clark who likewise felt nothing. They proceeded to pass the shard to each other till it returned to Kara.

Kara: Yeah, this thing is useless.

Danny: Does that mean I can eat it?

Bruce (looking at Danny): I'll like to keep it for research if you don't mind Clark.

Clark: Sure thing I gave them to you for a reason- oh... guess your contingency plans won't work anymore...

Bruce: Yeah, I'm already working on a way to harvest the power of an artificial red star in a small easy to carry object. So don't sleep too soundly.

Clark: Yeah that's fair. Let's go I'll help you.

Some time passed, Bruce and Clark were working on Bruce's plan to make an artificial red sun, Kara, Otho, and Osul were sunbathing on the outside of the Watchtower, and Danny, Kon, and Jon were just chatting.

Danny: Wait there's something that doesn't add up. If you're 12 and your parents are 34, then that means they had you when they were-

Jon: 22, yes.

Kon (laughing): Mom and dad, and uncle Jimmy, graduated from high school when they were 16, and college at 19. They all started working at the Daily Planet shortly after that, that's when they all met. Mom and Dad quickly became close and then a few years later during a workplace party, mom and dad both had a little too much to drink and nine moths later my little brother here was born, a few weeks before our parents turned 23.

Clark (who walked over): Yeah Ma and Pa were a little upset about me having a kid so young, but they were a massive help during Lois' pregnancy and with Jon as a baby.

Lois (laughing): My dad on the other hand almost marched over to Clark's apartment with a shotgun when he found out.

Clark: I don't think he's ever fully forgiven me.

Lois: Nonsense he loves you!

Jon: Look if anything I get to brag to Damian that I'm 10 days older than him. It makes him so mad.

Danny: Yeah I read about the circumstances surrounding Damian's birth. Look, I've never meet Talia al Ghul, I'm sure she's a smart person, but if you're going to seduce someone to get blackmail out of them, don't get so involved into the conversation that you end up drinking so much, that you end up having a drunken one night stand.

Bruce: I really should have kept track of how much we had both been drinking, but Talia knew how to hold a conversation. That was an interesting night nonetheless...

Kon: How about the night of the pink Kryptonite incident from 8 years ago?

Bruce and Clark: WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT!

Danny: ...

Lois: Still can't believe you threw the pink Kryptonite into a black hole rather than keeping it for us to use.

Clark: And I can't belief that's what you decided to focus on.

Lois: What? I can't blame you for what happened, we had never come across pink Kryptonite before, so you and Bruce went to test it in a safe isolated environment. None of us could have predicted that it would do what it did, let alone that it would indirectly have the same affect on non-Kryptonians. The whole thing was nothing more than an accident.

Danny: What did it do?

Bruce and Clark: NOTHING!

(Master Post)

Just a few notes from the author:

In this AU Otho and Osul are not Phaelosian but Kryptonian. They also survived the destruction of Krypton.

Clark arrived as a baby 34 years ago.

Jon was born 12 years ago.

Kara arrived on Earth 7 years ago, at age 16, is now 23.

Kon joined the family 6 years ago (then biologically a 14 year old) is now 20 years old.

And Otho and Osul arrived on Earth 2 years ago at 14 years old, they are now 16, and were adopted by Kara.

p.s. I kinda messed up the timeline a bit with the ages, I wanted Bruce to adopt Dick when Bruce was 24 and Dick 14. In the present Dick is 25 and Bruce 34 (still hasn't turned 35). Then I decided to make Bruce and Clark the same age so Clark is also 34. Then I decided to make Damian and Jon 12 without doing the math that Clark and Bruce would have been 22 when they had them...

By the time I realized, I just decided that what happened happened and rolled with the idea.

Lastly pink Kryptonite in this AU basically causes the Kryptonian to develop a blinding level of lust for the first person they see, a feeling that can transferred to the person if there's any physical contact between them.

[incorrectbatfam]

Damian being a gen alpha implies in gen alpha Jon too ...

[at a sleepover]

Damian, whispering: Jon?

Jon: Yeah?

Damian: Our planet is doomed.

Jon: Yeah, it is.

Jon: Wanna sneak downstairs for snacks?

Damian: Sure.

———————

Steph, as a Batburger cashier: Sorry ma'am, that product was discontinued months ago.

Jon: *secretly starts recording*

Margie: You didn't even bother to check! What kind of lazy service is this? No wonder the world is the way it is with your generation. I should call the corporate hotline right now and report you for refusing to serve a paying customer. See how you like it when you lose your job.

Damian: Hey Karen, she said they don't have it anymore. Either get something else or leave. Some of us have places to be.

Margie: And who do you think you are?

Damian, pointing to Jon's camera: The best friend of someone with 150,000 followers.

Jon: Say hi to the internet!

———————

Damian and Jon: *putting up hand-drawn posters around town*

Comm. Gordon: What are you kids doing?

Damian: Advertising our joint channel.

Jon: We're gonna have an epic Cheese Viking and Fortnite mashup tournament.

Damian: Proceeds go to the Wayne Foundation.

Comm. Gordon: *scribbles a note and hands it to them*

Comm. Gordon: If anyone asks you for a permit, it's on me.

———————

Damian and Jon: *huddled around the Batcomputer*

Jon: I think we should sort it by distance instead.

Damian, typing code: Good idea.

Barbara: What's that?

Jon: Our new website.

Damian: It allows people to report stray animals they see without the risk that comes with physical contact.

Barbara: Oh, cool. Carry on.

———————

Kara: What do you want to drink?

Jon: Mountain Dew. Dami, you want one?

Damian: Depends. Is it vegan?

Kara: *starts typing into Google*

Jon: Hey Alexa, is Mountain Dew vegan?

———————

[texting]

Jon: Dami, get on Discord.

Damian: Why?

Jon: Live-action One Piece streaming in the Gay Minecraft server.

———————

Jon: Ms. Kyle, check it out!

Selina: What is it?

Damian: TikTok added a set of Catwoman stickers.

Selina: Show me.

———————

Kate: I still think you are far too young for things like Instagram.

Damian and Jon: *snicker*

Kate: What?

Jon: Well, Ms. Kane, how should we put it...

Damian: No one uses Instagram anymore.

———————

Jon: *takes a 0.5 of him and Damian with Dick in the background*

Damian: You're in our BeReal now. Deal with it.

Dick: What's a BeReal?

———————

Damian, handing Jon a rock: I would like to buy this playhouse.

Jon: Too bad, the economy just disappeared.

Lois: What are you doing?

Jon: We're playing Society.

———————

Damian: Alfred, we're hungry.

Alfred, on the phone: *makes the thumb and pinky gesture and mouths "I'm busy"*

Jon: Huh?

Alfred: I'm on the phone, boys.

Damian: I think he meant this.

Damian: *puts his palm to his ear*

———————

Jon: Parkour!

Jon: *hops over a log*

Jon: Parkour!

Jon: *climbs a tree*

Damian: *recording*

Clark, to Bruce: That's one way to play.

Bruce: Mhm.

Clark: Do you ever get worried about, you know, how these kids are turning out?

Jon: Parkou—

Damian: Wait, stop, there's a bird's egg here. I wonder what species it is.

Jon: I have an app that can scan it.

Bruce, to Clark: I think they're gonna be alright.

[suzukiblu]

Excerpt from the one where Kon meets pink kryptonite and decides to fuck Tim and his boyfriend about it.

(The read-more is definitely necessary, length-wise. I . . . got very into this idea and frankly this is barely a third of it so far, lol.)

"So, uh . . ." Kon says, skeptically eyeing the softly glowing rock in his hand. Metallo, like, threw it at his head. He has no idea why. "Is this supposed to do something or . . . ?"

"It's pink," Kara says leerily, staying very firmly back. Like, unexpectedly far back, in fact.

"Yeah, I'm not actually blind, thanks," Kon says, turning the rock over and squinting at it. It continues not to do anything, aside from the glowing thing.

"No, it's pink kryptonite," she stresses.

". . . it literally doesn't hurt at all, though?" Kon says. Though he probably should've figured it was some kind of kryptonite, given that Metallo had it and had apparently thought he could hurt him with it.

Seriously, though, his gloves are fingerless and he's got it right in his hand. It should be hurting him, if it's actually kryptonite.

"Pink kryptonite doesn't work like that," Kara says, edging a little farther back. They're floating a few hundred feet in the air right now, but from the way she's acting Kon's vaguely concerned that he might be about to explode or something. "It just affects our sexual . . . urges."

"Oh," Kon says, frowning in confusion. Weird, but . . . "Is that all?"

"I don't mean like it makes you horny, Kon, I mean like it makes you homosexual," Kara hisses, looking mortified. "And don't ask how I know, alright?!"

Kon . . . blinks.

"What the literal fuck?" he asks incredulously, just staring at her. "How does that even–are you telling me Metallo went and chucked gay kryptonite at me in the middle of a fight?"

"Yes!" Kara says, still clearly mortified. "So just–just stay over there with it until somebody shows up with a lead box, okay?! The effects will stop after we get it contained."

"Alright, alright. So then do you think the dude was flirting with me or is he just a fucking idiot?" Kon jokes, balancing the kryptonite on his index finger with his TTK. "Although I really don't think he'd be my type either way. Like, nothing against cyborgs in general, obviously, just the whole thing with him being a murderous supervillain who literally runs on kryptonite seems like it'd make us totally star-crossed. I want somebody I can actually commit to, you know?"

"Sure," Kara says, still eyeing the kryptonite with serious trepidation. It's really not helping Kon feel less like a time bomb, to be honest. Is there like some other side effect that he should be worrying about right now or something? Like, is he missing something here?

"You seem kinda high-strung about this," he observes, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Look, you'd have avoided it too if you'd dealt with it before!" she says protestingly. "So stay over there and definitely keep it away from Kal, I don't know if Jimmy ever really recovered from the last time."

"Oh, well, congrats to Jimmy, I guess," Kon says, since he can't really see a downside to scoring a one-night stand with Superman. Like, a downside for somebody who isn't literally his clone, he means. The clone thing would definitely make it weird.

Just it's also Clark, though, so he'd probably be the generous type in bed. Like, the sort to really take care of somebody. Be as gentle as happened to be appropriate but also be down if his partner maybe wanted it a little rough for whatever reason. And he'd definitely be able to go all night. Again, Kon isn't gonna go there himself, it really would be too weird, but he can make a logical conclusion. Extrapolate one. Whatever.

Then again he'd be down with Power Girl absolutely destroying him whenever the fuck she wanted to and she's genetically his . . . some form of cousin or something, he guesses. His half-cousin from another reality. So really, Clark's not even that weird an option. And like, all appearances aside Kon's a binary clone anyway, not even a one-for-one match, sooooo . . .

Actually it's probably weirder that he thinks Power Girl is so unspeakably hot but comparatively Kara is just . . . fine? Like, that's a little odd, isn't it?

Maybe it's an attitude thing. Or the costume.

Might be safe to blame the costume, yeah.

It's just such a good costume. Like, Kon aspires to reach that level of costume.

But really, all that aside he still doesn't even know what the big deal about temporarily going gay is, although to be fair he's also currently talking to Supergirl and not, like . . . literally any dude whatsoever. So like, who knows how weird this stuff might actually make him under those circumstances. Maybe it like fucks with inhibitions and stuff too?

Yeah, hell if he knows. He's really only dealt with green kryptonite before. He was vaguely aware that other colors existed and apparently did different stuff, but . . . this just seems very different, put it that way.

Maybe best to avoid Jimmy Olsen for a little while, Kon decides privately. The guy probably doesn't need that.

Besides, Clark apparently got there first anyway and Kon just really doesn't want to be worrying about measuring up. Miss him with that, thanks.

. . . although maybe he'll go visit Tim later.

Eh, no, Kara made it sound like the pink K's gonna stop affecting him pretty quick once they box it up, so not much point in bothering. Though maybe he'll visit just to hang, come to think of it; they haven't seen each other in almost a whole week. Well, he hasn't seen Tim, at least–who knows how much Bat-surveillance Tim's seen him through.

Kon should maybe sweep his room for bugs again. Note to self.

Although would it be weird to just like . . . keep the pink kryptonite, maybe? Since it apparently doesn't actually hurt anyone or anything? Because that could be, well . . . just interesting, that's all. Like, Kon is open to exploring that experience. Just–as an experience.

"Actually, you're surprisingly not high-strung about this," Kara says.

"Am I?" Kon asks. "I mean, it's not that big a deal, is it?"

She stares at him.

"Kon," she says slowly. "Pink kryptonite affects your sexuality. It makes you attracted to people you're not normally attracted to. It confuses you and everyone around you and it is really freaking embarrassing to explain afterwards."

"I've been mind-controlled into shaving my head and breaking my best friend's arm," Kon says, continuing to not really see what the big deal is. "That was embarrassing. And fucking traumatic. This? This is just kinda weird."

"Only kinda?" Kara asks incredulously. "You're one of the straightest guys I know! How are you just fine with this?!"

"I mean to be fair, that's probably making some unfair generalizations about straight guys," Kon points out. Kara stares at him. "What?"

"I don't even know how to respond to that," she says.

"Sorry?" Kon says, then tucks the pink kryptonite into his jacket pocket with a shrug. He's not trying to hide it or anything; just getting kinda sick of holding it. And it's that or he either ditches it somewhere or starts tossing it around and that'd probably be . . . just, well, absolutely epically stupid of him.

Or it seems like it would be, anyway. Whatever color it is, it's still kryptonite.

"I mentioned keeping that away from Kal, right?" Kara says.

"Yeah, on that note, are they like . . . done down there yet?" Kon asks, glancing down towards the mess of the street that Clark's standing on a few hundred feet below with a whole bunch of randos from S.T.A.R. Labs, for some reason. Somebody mentioned something about neutralizing Metallo's kryptonite heart without actually killing him, but mostly it was science talk and clearly theoretical anyway so to be honest Kon'd kinda tuned it all out as "not currently relevant", and that's all he knows.

"Definitely not," Kara says.

"I'm gonna call Robin while we're killing time, then," Kon says, pulling out his phone.

"You're going to call your closest male friend," Kara says. "Right now. While you've got pink kryptonite in your pocket."

"Yup," Kon says, already pulling up Tim's contact.

"Can you not see how that might be a bad idea at the moment?" Kara asks. "Not in any way whatsoever?"

"Well I'm not calling Impulse," Kon replies reasonably. Kara stares at him again, for some reason.

Eh, whatever.

He calls Tim.

"Hey, Conner, what's up?" Tim answers distractedly, which Kon doesn't hold against him because when isn't Tim distracted, really. Dude's got too much going on in that head of his, for real. He's just glad the guy ever picks up the phone at all.

"So apparently I'm gay right now," Kon greets conversationally, figuring he should lead with that just in case he actually is about to do something embarrassing to explain. "Pink kryptonite is fucking weird, man."

". . . uh," Tim says as Kara covers her face with her hands. "What?"

"Pink kryptonite makes you gay, Kara says," Kon says. "And we're both just kind of chilling above downtown Metropolis waiting for Kal to finish up with the science-y people so we can get said pink K locked up, so I'm bored out of my mind right now and calling you to complain about it."

"You're calling me," Tim says slowly. "While you're . . . gay."

"What, is he asking to come over?" another voice asks from the phone, sounding amused. It takes Kon a second to recognize it, but–oh yeah, that's the mysterious Bernard, isn't it?

Right, Tim has a boyfriend now. Kon's never actually met him on account of being the worst at secret identities and the whole thing that is Bernard living very firmly in Gotham, land of "no metas allowed unless you're either a supervillain or Batman's too dead to stop you", but he's heard him over the phone a couple times now, although they've never actually personally talked. So maybe thinking about Tim while being high on pink kryptonite isn't actually, like, kosher? Or polite. Or whatever.

. . . then again, Bernard did ask.

"I don't know, maybe?" Kon says thoughtfully, considering the idea. "Are you open to me coming over?"

"Yes," Bernard says.

"Bernard," Tim says.

"Babe, I know we're pretending I don't know you're an ass-kicking vigilante and all but come on, don't make me turn down Superboy," Bernard says wryly.

"We're–wait, pretending?!" Tim sputters.

"Pretending so, so hard," Bernard confirms, sounding nothing but fond. Kon's actually a little jealous of that tone of voice, he's gotta admit. Like–it's been a bit since anybody's talked to him that way, is all. "But like, if you actually thought you were being subtle maybe you shouldn't talk about kryptonite on the phone right in front of me or put themed emojis next to all your superfriends' civilian names in your contacts list?"

"Oh my god, you do that?!" Kon asks with a gleeful cackle, immediately forgetting everything else in favor of that absolutely delightful piece of information. "You're the worst! Batman just rolled over in his grave and Oracle is absolutely losing her shit on the other end of her wiretap!"

"B's not even dead right now," Tim says in exasperation. "And if O cared she'd have already hacked my phone and changed them. And for the record plenty of people put random superhero emojis next to their friends' names, that's a totally normal thing to do!"

"Usually the random superhero emojis aren't associated with contact pics that are dead fucking ringers for said superheroes," Bernard says, sounding amused again. "Just as a thing and all."

". . . anyway so you're gay today, how's that going for you, Conner?" Tim says as Bernard laughs gleefully in the background. "Triggering any unfortunate mental health crisises or anything? Making you worry about the validity of your masculinity? Because I can safely assure you that's all bullshit and you're fine."

"Naw, I know all that, being gay is just a thing," Kon says with a shrug. "Kara's being a little weird about it but honestly it's going way better than, like, the times supervillains mind-controlled me into being into them. Like just as an overall experience, I mean."

"Wait, how many times has that come up?" Tim asks in bemusement.

"I dunno?" Kon shrugs again. "I mean you were there for the Poison Ivy incident, and then Gorgeous Gilly happened to me a while later, which was, uh, genuinely horrifying because she tried to literally marry me during all that, so . . . I think just the twice, probably? But don't quote me on that, I don't even remember what I had for breakfast."

"And how is Kara being weird, exactly?" Tim says in his very unsubtle "assessing my teammate's psychological condition" voice.

"Oh, she's mostly just avoiding me?" Kon says, as a guy who's personally not really all that concerned with his psychological condition at the moment. "Because I've got the rock in my pocket on account of not wanting to just leave it lying around somewhere and she doesn't want to get affected by it. I don't know why, I don't really get why it matters."

"I mean it matters, definitely," Bernard says. "Like it very strongly matters to a lot of people."

"Fair, but I think we're all too invulnerable to really have to worry about getting gay-bashed or anything," Kon reasons. "Like, at least not as a heat of the moment thing."

". . . god can you imagine the world we would live in if every piece of shit gay-basher had to deal with the consequences of punching fucking Superman?" Bernard says feelingly. "For real."

"Oh, pink K's temporary," Kon clarifies. "Kal's not gay anymore."

"Hold up, I'm sorry, are you saying that at some point he was?" Bernard demands in obvious delight. "Is that what you're telling me right now?"

"I guess he was into redheads?" Kon says, tilting his head. "Slightly twinky redheads, specifically. Which I don't blame him for, I'm gonna be honest."

"Well now I know that forever, thanks," Tim says dryly.

"Alternate option: he could've been into Batman," Kon points out.

"Redheads it is," Tim says. "You just . . . redhead away over there."

"I mean I thought about it, kinda," Kon admits.

"Ngh," Tim says, for some reason.

"No thinking about Batman, though?" Bernard asks with a snicker.

"Not so much," Kon says, making a face. "Did consider having some Superman thoughts but I'm apparently not that narcissistic, surprisingly enough."

"Kon!" Kara chokes.

"Tell me you've never considered having Superman thoughts and I'll tell you you're a fucking liar," Kon snorts, shooting her a dry look. "Weren't you like totally naked when you first showed up on Earth? And then he found you like that and wrapped you up in his cape all nice and gentlemanly and took you home with him?"

"He is my baby cousin and you're being affected by pink kryptonite poisoning!" Kara accuses, her face bright red.

"Wait, is it actually poisoning me?" Kon says with a frown. "I feel like you should've led with it actually poisoning me, if that's actually a thing."

"Well no, not actually, it's physically harmless," Kara says grudgingly, folding her arms. "But you're still being affected! You're having Superman thoughts, of all things!"

"He just seems like he'd be considerate," Kon says reasonably. "Like, you know. Biblically."

"Ngh," Tim says, again for no apparent reason. Bernard sounds like he might be laughing. Or choking? Or maybe both; it's unclear.

"Please don't hit on Kal," Kara says. "Especially don't hit on Kal with pink kryptonite in your pocket. I don't want to know how that situation would end up."

"Ideally with him being considerate," Kon says. Tim chokes. Kara covers her face again.

"Does pink kryptonite affect your inhibitions too or are you just always like this?" Bernard asks curiously.

"Eh, pretty sure I'm just always like this, going by the things I've definitely still not been forgiven for saying to Power Girl," Kon says, idly tapping a finger against the side of his phone case. "Like, pretty damn sure at this point."

"That is unfortunately accurate," Tim agrees resignedly.

"So you're saying it is ethically okay to have Superboy over while he's gay," Bernard says in a promisingly speculative tone. Kon grins. Just a little, but yeah–definitely he grins. Kara grimaces, because she is absolutely no fun whatsoever.

Spoilsport.

"I did not in any way say that," Tim retorts dubiously.

"I mean that's what I heard, man, and I'm the one with super-hearing in this conversation," Kon says with a wider grin. "My inhibitions are all inhibited and my personal opinions of people are all the same, I'm just currently batting for the other team."

"So your normal opinion of me is that if you were gay, you'd come over," Tim says dryly.

"Yeah?" Kon says, raising an eyebrow. "I mean, obviously."

"How is that obvious?" Tim says.

"Because I already come over every time you let me," Kon reminds him.

"Oh yeah?" Bernard says slyly. "And how often does he let you come, exactly?"

"Not often enough," Kon replies honestly, and doesn't even bite at the obvious dumb sex joke Bernard so thoughtfully set up for him even though it is frankly painful not to.

"Ngh," Tim says. Kon continues not to understand the reason for him repeatedly making that same weird little noise, but whatever, he guesses. It's Tim, maybe he's stitching his own bullet wounds again or something. Guy's a multi-tasker like that.

"You know this would probably make for a fascinating case study about sexuality, actually," Bernard says musingly. "I mean, all I intend to do is abuse the situation to get into your very tight tights, but seriously, maybe we should all be taking notes or something."

"Ugh, hell no, Rob'll go full Bat if we let him do that," Kon snorts, then smirks. "He can take pictures, though, I know he's into that."

"Ngh," Tim says yet again, accompanied by a weird random "thump". If Kon didn't know better, he'd think he'd just fallen off a chair or something.

"Aw dammit, dude, I think I actually like you as a person now," Bernard says, sniggering. "Are you keeping the kryptonite? Please keep the kryptonite. Like, just for Valentine's and Tim's birthday, that's all I ask."

"Honestly don't know if Superman's gonna let me but I do kinda wanna," Kon admits. It seems pretty convenient, really. And definitely fun.

". . . and you're sure his inhibitions and opinions aren't being influenced in any way, Kara?" Tim asks suspiciously.

"He's really just like this, yeah," Kara says resignedly. "Well admittedly Kal spontaneously developed opinions on window treatments and used the word 'smashing' in cold blood when it happened to him, but that might've just been him sucking at flirting. Because he really does suck at flirting."

"What about when it was you?" Kon asks curiously.

"No one ever said it happened to me," Kara says.

"You kinda implied–"

"No one ever said it happened to me," Kara repeats, narrowing her eyes at him and doing an impressively bad job of acting like she's not blushing.

So it definitely happened to her, yeah.

"Okaaaaay, we'll pretend about that too then," Bernard says. "Well, what are your opinions on window treatments, Conner?"

"That I don't know what they are," Kon says.

"Sounds like he's in his right mind to me," Bernard says.

"He is absolutely not," Kara retorts dubiously.

"I really don't feel weird or anything, I swear," Kon tells her, since he still doesn't get the problem but also doesn't actually want to worry her either. "I don't even feel any different."

"Kon, you are hitting on your best friend and his boyfriend," Kara says. "Together. At once. Simultaneously, one might even say."

"You've met Wonder Girl and Arrowette before, right?" Kon says. "And both the Batgirls? And–"

"Oh my god, Kon," she cuts him off.

"Just saying," he says, then pauses for a moment and frowns consideringly. "Actually, question, how gay is this stuff making me, because while we're on the topic of threeways I kinda always wondered about what Starfire and Nightwing get up to together and if–"

"KON!" Kara yells, covering her ears.

"I'm just asking," he huffs.

"I don't know if it's actually possible to be gay enough to not be into Starfire," Bernard says musingly. "Like I can't imagine how it ever could be."

"Right?" Kon says.

"It's possible to not be into Starfire," Tim says. "Like, theoretically. Asexuals and aromantics both exist, for one."

"Do they?" Kon says doubtfully. "Like in general, sure, but when around specifically Starfire?"

". . . I can't technically prove you wrong due to a lack of reliable evidence but still," Tim says. "The possibility is there. If nothing else the multiverse is a thing."

"Last time I saw her she was wearing half a gold lamé bikini and I am not going to tell you which half or define how loosely I am using the term 'wearing'," Kon says.

"I said it's possible, not probable," Tim says.

"What about you, man, are you the gold lamé type?" Bernard asks with a teasing snicker. "Just while you're gay and all, of course. That's like, practically a cultural thing. Gotta be authentic to the experience, yeah?"

"That is in no way whatsoever a cultural thing, babe," Tim says dubiously.

"Please, like I've never worn freaking lamé," Kon scoffs. "I've worn collars and loincloths and leather and crop tops and enough unnecessary belts to tie up a Bat, lamé is nothing."

"Collars and . . . loincloths?" Bernard repeats, sounding confused.

"Yeah, this one time I crash-landed on a lost isle of beast-men and they kidnapped and enslaved me for a few months," Kon explains, waving a hand distractedly. "Frankly I count myself lucky they even let me have the collar, much less the loincloth."

". . . um," Bernard says.

"You, uh, never mentioned the collar part of that story before, Kon," Tim says, clearing his throat. "You very definitely never mentioned the collar part of that story before."

"Oh yeah, the prince kinda kept me as his pet for a little bit?" Kon tells him with an easy shrug. "Like he and all his buddies ganged up on me and then took me home with them, but I was kinda . . . feral, I guess? Technically? So like, collar and chain setup. But he was cool, he took real good care of me."

"Ngh," Tim says just barely faintly.

"Yeah you should definitely come over," Bernard says. "Tim, get the check. Conner, exactly how super is your super-speed?"

"You can just call me Kon," Kon says. "And . . . mach 3, last I clocked it?"

"Isn't that like two thousand miles per hour?" Bernard asks.

"Two thousand two hundred and twenty-three point three," Kon replies with a pleased smirk. "Faster than a speeding bullet. Or so they tell me."

"We'll just meet you at Tim's, how's that," Bernard says. "That work for you, Kon?"

"That works for me, Bernard," Kon confirms, smirking wider.

"Oh my god, Kon, you cannot possibly be serious right now," Kara says in exasperation, rubbing at her temples. "Just because you're temporarily gay doesn't mean you should do anything about it!"

"I mean, I'm feeling pretty serious?" Kon says, shrugging again. He still doesn't get why she's being so sensitive about this. "It's not like this is the weirdest thing I've ever done in pursuit of a good time. Like, holy hell, lemme tell you about the Ravers sometime."

"You're going to have to look Robin in the eye after this!" Kara says. "And work with him! And be a normal person in his presence! Normally!"

"I'm aware?" Kon says, vaguely bemused by her concern. Like he's never been normal around somebody he's slept with before, geez. "Tell Kal I ran off with the pink K, if he wants to lock it up in the Fortress or wherever I can bring it back tomorrow."

"Maybe Monday," Bernard says.

"Or maybe Monday," Kon amends.

"It's Thursday!" Kara sputters.

"So it's a long weekend," Bernard says.

"I'm not explaining this to Kal," Kara says. "I'm not explaining this to Batman."

"I really don't see why you'd have to," Kon says. "Rob, you cool with the long weekend thing? Not too much of an imposition?"

". . . I got the check," Tim mutters in obvious and absolute mortification.

Kon's gonna take that as a "yes".

"Cool," he says, grinning broadly. "See you soon, Boy Wonder."

He ends the call. Kara drags her hands down her face and continues to stay very far away from him and the pink kryptonite in his pocket.

"When you go back to normal and freak out and make everything weird with Robin and your team and even Robin's literal boyfriend, I'm going to say so many 'I told you so's," she swears vehemently. "So don't say I didn't warn you."

"Your objection is on the record," Kon says, then tosses her a lazy salute with another grin and takes off, kryptonite and all.

Best to just scarper while Clark's distracted, yeah?

Definitely best.