#don't read this i'm just going on like a lunatic

[welcometogrouchland]

I'm going to be so real I do not understand tim & steph shippers who feel that Steph dating Tim again would save her character. You can make an argument that giving Tim a more compelling love interest would be beneficial for him! And you can at least make an argument that the fujo mischaracterization of Steph would stop. However she'd still, inevitably, be treated as a prop character/extension for someone more popular 😭 it also wouldn't make her appear in more books! Tim doesn't have many frequent appearances at the moment either! You can just say you like the couple and want them back together without acting like you have some kind of moral stance

[jupiter-letters]

I can't stop thinking about Dad Jayce

(Modern-AU sort of)Jayce Talis x Fem!Reader TW: Pregnancy-mention

A/N: I've held this in for 4 days now I need to get it out. He'd be such a fantastic dad omfg, I'm giving him at least 10. This is gonna be kinda quick and not really proofread sorry y'all.) Divider Link

Jayce is already a pretty touchy guy while you're dating but imagine what a monster he turns into when you guys get married. He acts so sickly sweet with you every moment you're together. He likes to jokingly treat you like royalty, doing a slight bow when you enter a room.

The theatrics get worse when he finds out you're expecting, he won't you do anything till you tell him off. You get up in the morning? He's bringing you breakfast. You just wanna walk around the house, he'll carry you around instead. You're not moving around without him he just acts like a lunatic about it. This is your pregnancy it's OUR pregnancy. If you have nausea, it's OUR nausea. If you're feet hurt, OUR feet hurt, he stops what he's doing to rub your feet and ankles.

Now when the delivery date comes you're relatively calm about it but Jayce is actively losing his mind. Along the course of your pregnancy he has created a very detailed plan on how everything will go. In that moment thought he's floundering, he forgets all the steps and counter measures. He eventually abandons the plan and calls his mom to coach him through everything.

Once the hard part is over it's relatively smooth sailing from there. Jayce ends up completely whipped, regardless of the child's sex he's locked in. Whatever they want he'll get it for them. It makes him so emotional seeing them get older and they start looking more like you. Even though they are a new person he still loves them because they're a piece of you.

Jayce prefers the baby be in your shared bedroom just to keep a closer eye on them, 9/10 he's the one to put them back to sleep when they get fussy at night. During the day he'll always have them in his arms, talking to them about his job or some article he read the other day. He loves just talking to the baby, he likes the baby talk but seeing him have a full on conversation with the baby is hilarious.

He loves showing off the baby to his friends and literally anybody who gives him the time of day. He's got a bunch of pics of you and the baby in his wallet. Sometimes he'll just do it completely unprompted, "Viktor check out this new onesie I got for my son/daughter." He'll post pics in the groupchat with Caitlyn and Vi, he'll send them at least 5 every day.

The child does end up becoming a tiny bit spoiled, Jayce can be firm but the sight of one tear will make him fold. Over the years he gets better at it but when they hit him with the "I hate you daddy!" He gets so depressed he'll sit in his room like this:

Fortunately being the good parents you are, they don't get super bratty very often and are pretty chill. They inherited that go getter attitude from Jayce and it's interesting for him seeing that reflected back at him.

[avelera]

maybe I'm remembering wrong but I feel like some time ago I saw a post from you theorizing that Mel was Jayce's first for like, everything. I was wondering if you would be willing to expand on why you think that ;0

Yeah it's this post where I talk about how Jayce has the vibe of, "Intimidatingly hot girl that is so hot no one has ever asked her out before so she thinks she's unlovable."

I think Mel thought Jayce was a fuckboi. I mean, look at him! He totally looks like a muscle jock with a 1000 watt smile, who seems to soak up the adoration of the crowd, who seems based on his looks like he must have a vibrant sex life of sleeping with whoever he wants. To my eyes, Mel 100% thought that by sleeping with Jayce she would just be one of many and she could use the influence from that encounter to continue to manipulate him, but it would be a totally casual, sexual encounter.

Her belief he's a fuckboi seems to be confirmed when he's not there in the morning after they sleep together. You can see what's going through her head. She's thinking, "Welp, sleep with a fuckboi and you get a fuckboi. I don't know why I thought a party guy like that would stick around after, but I'm still disappointed." She is pissed and seems personally hurt/offended when he comes "crawling" back to apologize, and then he reveals it's because the single most important person in his life is dying.

Everything changes after that. Mel realizes she misunderstood Jayce. She realizes when he puts his head in her lap and kisses her wrist and is casually physically affectionate with her that she super-duper misread the situation. Jayce isn't a fuckboi. They slept together once and he thinks they're dating now! Mel actually looks like she's panicking there at how seriously he's taking this "relationship" AND she's realizing that she's taking him away from the actual love of his life, Viktor, so she fucked up big time. She literally reads the situation and immediately clocks, in my opinion, that Jayce is with the wrong person right now and possibly hasn't been aware of his love for Viktor and vice versa and as the one emotionally intelligent person in that trio says, "You lunatic, go back to your man right now, wtf are you doing here with me??" in so many words. She feels guilty and she realizes she fucked up and this actually very sweet guy is attached to her now. That's when she really begins to have feelings for him too but very much despite herself IMO.

As for Jayce being a virgin, or very near to it, I mean... Jayce doesn't notice people are attracted to him. He just doesn't. He's got random people sighing over him during Progress Day and he doesn't notice. He visibly swallows with nerves when Mel mildly flirts with him. He's not a fuckboi at all, if anything he's oblivious.

Basically, I think it fits that if Mel's not his actual first, she could very well be near his first. Jayce has been busy lately! Hextech is his dream, he's working at all hours, he's a hyperfixating nerd who spends all hours with his lab partner and if he's been hopelessly pining after Viktor then that's even more evidence he might have been "saving himself" for a marriage that didn't seem to be happening. Even when Mel kisses him, IMO Jayce's pause as he calculates whether or not he should reciprocate feels like he's thinking, "Do I have a shot with Viktor? No, sadly. Viktor's made it clear he's not interested so I might as well stop denying myself other relationships, especially with someone who expresses real interest and acts on it in a way my nerd-boy brain can understand." (Jayce is direct, he thinks in straight lines, and Mel flirts in the one way he understands IMO, but that's a meta for another day.)

So err, at the risk of rambling for 10 more pages, I think that addresses your question?

[mj0702]

The other Bronze – Part 14

For Lunatic... I hope you're doing better and I hope you read this and find some comfort in it - mom and dad love you to the most and back Lunatic ♥️♥️

Sarina parked it just a little bit away from the hotel and turned in her seat to look at you

“We still need to talk Liefje” Sarina said sternly pulling you back into the car

“Don't worry – I found a weak link” you said happily

“Not what I was thinking about but.. good job” the dutch said “.. Leah said you tried to kill yourself – I want to know why”

“Seriously... I swear that was a one time thing and I'm better now” you said upset

“Not what I asked... I want to know WHY” the blonde stayed stricter

“I... I felt so alone... Lucy was gone... Keira just moved to Barcelona.... I mean the girls a great but... they're not Luce or Kei... somehow me stupid brain convinced me that they left and broke up because of me... and that they wouldn't care if I was around or not... so I got some pills from grandmas cabinet and just took them all...” you said not looking at the dutch

“... and then?” Sarina said lowly

“... I got scared... like... I suddenly knew that it was a mistake... so I wanted to call Hempo but I clicked the wrong number... got Leila on the phone.. I didn't knew her very well just in passing – but she came... she asked me where I am after I cried into the phone that I'm scared. I even called her Laurie... you know... she didn't KNOW me – but she came...and before I knew it I threw up... I'm basically still alive because of her... Lei then called Hempo... mills turned from that moment....” you recapped the night it all happened

“But why Liefje.... you know you could always come to me – or to one of us” Sarina tried again to understand you

“I can't tell you why Mama Rina.... I don't know... I just felt so alone... but I swear I never ever thought about it again” you stressed out

“If you EVER feel the need to do something like that again I want you to call me” the blonde took your hand strongly and with her second hand she made you look at her “Okay?”

“Okay... I promise...” you nodded lightly

“Good... so... that weak link....” Sarina smiled slightly

“Now or after dinner? Because I AM kind of hungry” you look embarrassed

Sarina laughed out loud but nodded anyway

“Of course Liefje... come on now” she laughed as the two of you exit the car

The dutch laid her arm around your shoulders pulling you into her side as the two of you walked the short distance to the Hotel. You laid your head on her shoulder enjoying the rare moment of peace you get with the head coach.

“Hey... hey y/n... we saved you a seat!!!!” you heard Tooney before you saw her

“Go” Sarina smiled lovingly as she released you from her hold

You sprinted over to the table quickly sliding into the chair between Less and Tooney before Keira or Leah could grab you. You sat opposite to your girlfriend sending her a small smile knowing Lucy was watching you two with hawk eyes. Suddenly you felt your chair being pulled back a little bit. You squeaked surprised as you felt the chair being lifted.

“You really think I would let you sit at the kids table??” you heard Keira as you looked up you saw Millie and Mary holding the sides of your chair about a foot in the air

“Sorry BB” Millie smiled apologetic “She has dirt on me”

“You can't be serious” you exclaimed trying to slip off the chair

“You will get the same food at my table” Keira said dry as she nodded her head and Millie and Mary started to carry you (chair included) over to the grown up table and dispose you next to your sister while Keira sat down to your other side

“I don't wanna sit here” you whined “This table is boring”

“Excuse me? Do I look like I care? The last time you three sat next to each other you got us kicked out of a restaurant” Keira said nonchalantly

“It was NOT our fault that the flame thingy fell over and set the table on fire” you said upset

“You prodded it the whole time even after I told you to leave it alone” Keira now growled

“I found it fascinating.. the flame was blue” you said ashamed

“Give up Bubs... you stuck with us for tonight” Lucy now sighed “She won't let you go back”

“You can overrule her... sister tops...” you said hopefully

“Oh Bitsy... your sister tops absolutely nothing” Keira smiled sweetly as she lightly slapped your cheek “Now eat”

You looked down on your plate and pulled a disgusted face

“What's that?” you prodded at your food

“Chicken” Keira said as she started to eat

“THAT is not chicken...” you pointed at the light hill on your plate

“That's the rice with sauce” Keira rolled her eyes “That is the chicken” she said as she pushed the rice a little aside

“And that green stuff... I don't do green stuff..” you argued again choosing the difficult route today – she wanted a kid. She'll get a kid.

“Spinach” Leah now answered as her best had her mouth full

“Ew no... not eating that” you huffed leaned back in your chair crossing your arms in front of your chest

“Suit yourself... go to bed hungry” Keira shrugged her shoulders “If you ever THINK of throwing a fit later because you're hungry you and I will have a private talk and you know these never end good for you”

“I want food... not... that” you pouted and whined

“Bitsy come on... you're not three... just eat” Keira said and you heard that she's about to lose her last nerve with you

Still you shake your head not moving towards the plate again

“Bubs come on... you haven't eaten since breakfast” Lucy now tried the nice approach – good cop, bad cop “You must be hungry”

“I AM... but I want something tasty” you whined

“It's very tasty... just try it... for me?” your sister spoke softly smiling hopefully.

“Hey Pumpkin... you interested in a deal?” now Beth interrupted the interaction knowing how important it was to get some food into you

“Listening” you answered and glanced at her

“Two forks equals one stroopwaffle... if you finish your plate – spinach included a whole extra pack” Meado smiled encouraging

“One fork one waffle” you shot back

“No can do... two for one...” Beth leaned back in her chair grinning

“Two extras at final whistle then” you tried your luck again

“I'll give you two extras if you eat your salad too” the brown haired woman smirked

“Okay now you're pushing it” you huffed out

“Two for one and an extra if you finish the plate” Meado leaned forward extending her hand.

“Two extras” you said seriously

“Nope... no deal” Beth said as she pulled her hand back

“Okay okay... two for one and one extra” you said quickly nearly jumping on the table to grab Beth hand “but from the good shop in Amsterdam”

“Deal” Meado grinned as she saw Keira mouthing a “thank you” towards her

You recutlanty started to pick up some rice and chicken with your fork. Everyone at the table knew you were a picky eater. Always have been and always will be – but if you had found something you liked you would eat like a harvester. But also you would go days without actual food if there was nothing you would find interesting. You carefully brought the fork to your lips just to feel the usual knot in your stomach putting the silverware down quickly

“No... sorry... can't do it” you said as you quickly stood up basically fleeing the table and the room.

Everyone looked after you confused. The first one who reacted was in fact Georgia as she pushed her chair back with such a force that it fell over backwards running after you. Lucy tried to run after the two of you but got stopped by Keiras hand on her arm

“Leave them...” the blonde said softly

“But what if...” Lucy tried

“If what...” Leah asked now

“If G takes advantage of her state – we know how fragile she is at the moment” your sister said a little stressed

“Excuse me?” Keira said shocked “That's G we're talking about – you know damn well this girl has a heart of gold and as big as five field... and she's not the brightest sometimes... she doesn't even know what it means to take advantage of someone”

“I'm just....” your sister defended herself

“I know... but you need to let her grow up... it's not easy for me either but let her be Luce” Keira said softly

You quickly sprinted outside the hotel actually jumping over some luggage which was standing around from guests just checking in. Once outside you looked around frantically as you saw the next best bush. You quickly got over there and just started to throw up. This was how your girlfriend found you. Hunched over a bush heaving loudly. Wordless she stood next to you rubbing small soothing circles on your back offering silent support. After a few minutes you got yourself up right again and leaned backwards against the wall

“What happened” G asked keeping her voice down

“Just got too much” you mumbled closing your eyes “Thank you”

“For what?” Georgia asked confused

“Coming after me...” you murmured suddenly feeling tired and exhausted

“I'll always come after you – and if I have to run to the end of the world” your girlfriend answered whispering as she both manoeuvred you into a sitting position

“Sap” you smiled with your eyes closed but leaning against her “We probably shouldn't be so close – what if fans see?”

“Let them... don't care” your girlfriend mumbled back “only care about you right now”

“You would...” you started

“Don't care... you're important to me, you know?” she interrupted you quickly knowing where this conversation would go if she'd let you go on

“You're important to me too G...” you said serious “... that's why we need to talk”

“Are you breaking up with me?” Georgia asked and you heard the panic in her voice

“No... no... but you might want to break up with me after that talk” you mumbled

“Did... did something happened... with someone... in Barcelona?” your girlfriend asked unsure

“Yes... that too... but not like you think” you sighed knowing you can't push that conversation further away anymore “But you need to promise me to let me finish and not interrupt me”

“Okay...” Georgia said carefully

You took a deep breath before you started to talk

“I'm telling you this because you are so SO important to me – not even Kei knows this... or god forbid Lucy... did I ever tell you why Leila and I are so close?” you looked at her and G shook her head before you continued “She saved me G... literally... she saved my life... two years ago, when Kei moved to Spain too... I felt so alone... I know Toons was there... and Less... and Leah... and all of them... but in the same time no one was there... it was bad enough to lose Lucy to Spain.. But I still had Keira... but when she moved too – it broke me G... I know she had to for her career... and I would never ever blame her for what happened but it broke me. I had no one to go to – I was still laborating on my ACL and I didn't know what to do. I fell G and I fell hard. I was rock bottom and I didn't know how to get back on top again...” you started to feel the tears threatening to fall “... so I got all the pills my mom had in her cabinet threw them all in a bag mixed them up and just took a handful... and suddenly I got so SO scared... the sensible part of my brain asked me if I'm bloody serious to choose the easy way out. Out of panic I wanted to call Hempo of all people – you know how she would react in a situation like that. She would panic herself. But she was the nearest to where I was. I pressed the wrong contact and Leila answered the call. Don't know why but she did. I didn't even realized my mistake and just started sobbing into the phone what I just did and that I'm scared and where I am and to please help me”

You were full on crying now. Not the loud outgoing cry, just silently as your tears run down your cheeks onto falling onto your shirt

“I don't know how much time went past but suddenly I got yanked up from the bench I was sitting on and the person just bend me over and made me throw up.... wasn't the nicest thing in the world. After I came by a little more I realized Leila was the one holding me bend over asking me if I think that it was all of it or if there's some left in my stomach because she WILL shove her fingers down my throat again if she had to... told her I think that everything is out and she basically carried me to her car. She told me she's going to get me into hospital and who she should call. Told her Hempo – I knew the chain would work its way to Leah. Leila got me to the Hospital told them what happened and they took care of me. When I woke up the next morning Leah and Meado were sitting next to my bed. Leah looked like death heated over twice. Meado wasn't far behind. I felt so guilty that I started crying . Woke them both up with my sobbing. Leah informed me that they'll take me back with them – already talked to my mom and dad about it. She also told me that they told them it's because she thinks a change of scenery would benefit me – dad agreed knowing how hard I took Lucys moving. Went back to London with them and god – Leah can be worse than a jail guard... I went to therapy... three times a week... it was always Leah or Beth picking me up afterwards... until it was Millie and somehow with Millie I just broke down. I held it together for Lee and Meado... but Millie with her calm persona and just being there – I think I cried for hours. Woke up in Meados guestroom... was the first time I met Viv officially as the girlfriend. It got better after that day – really better. Leah basically held me hostage for another six month – she even made me join her at the Arsefacility for light workouts. Let me tell you they have all that great stuff in their gym and still are shit” you smiled through your tears keeping your eyes fixed straight ahead staring into nothing so you didn't see your girlfriend crying too “ … and then a few days in Barcelona I had a full blown anxiety attack because Mapí played a ball wrong and it came at me. I got it under control played it back to Kei before even realizing what I was doing and then all of them were looking at me like I just scored a World cup winner... got to much and everyone of them saw.. I tell you because I know Sarina wants a friendly against Spain end to camp – when she announces it you act surprised – and they will ask if everything is okay... because that's how they are... It was weird at the begin...”

Suddenly your conversation got roughly interrupted by your sister who pulled G up by her shirt away from you already started yelling at her. You got scared for a second before you quickly jumped to your feet going after your sister who had your girlfriend pinned to the wall by now. Georgia was white her eyes wide as Lucy kept yelling at her

“What have you done Stanway??? I listened to Keira and let YOU go after her to find her crying her eyes out” your sister yelled in Georgias face pushing her harder against the wall

“Lucy please... it wasn't her” you begged your sister tugging on her arm “it wasn't her and it's not because of her... Luce please”

But it was no use since Lucy just saw red. She just came out to check on you knowing you always need air when you feel trapped. What she saw broke her heart and made her blood boil. She saw you crying and your girlfriend just sitting next to you doing nothing. It was irrational she knew but she swore to protect you and if it costed it the place on the national team than she would pay that price but she won't let anyone hurt you.

“Lucy.... please” you tried again as fresh tears sprung to your eyes and again your plea fell to deaf ears as your sister continued to ignore you in favor of yelling at your girlfriend

So you looked around for help and spotted Keira and Leah at the elevators on the other side of the lobby. You quickly ran over to the doors who opened and yelled through the hotel lobby

“Keira!!!” you hoped to get her attention. Your voice must have sounded so distressed that Keira turned around quickly – Leah following suit and she spotted you standing in the automatic door “Help” you said louder but not yelling level.

Keira took off towards you before you could turn around Leah hot on her heels as you went over and tried to get Lucy off Georgia again. Keira and Leah came exit the hotel and quickly saw what brought you to such distress. They immediately got into action mode pushing themselves between Lucy and Gs bodies. You were still trying to tug your sisters arm off Georgias shirt. Thank god Keira and Leah were much more successful (perks of knowing how to separate players from experience) and quickly got your sister and girlfriend separated. You immediately went over to your girlfriend who was still rooted in place shock and fright clear on her face.

“You okay?” you asked lowly “She didn't hurt you did she?”

“Just shaken up... didn't see that coming” Georgia said back lightly shaking

You let Keira and Leah deal with Lucy while you checked your girlfriend over once more needing to make sure she really was not injured. After you were satisfied with your check you turned around seeing Keira poking Lucys chest furiously on the other side of the entrance. Leah stood nearly in the middle of the two parties having an eye on both sides. She met your eye and you let her know that everything was okay and even tho G was shaken up she was not injured. At the way Keira was now waving her hands around and your sister looking ashamed and guilty you knew Kei was pissed and Lucy was at the receiving end. You saw Leah coming over to you and stepped into your field of vision

“Are you okay?” the captain asked concerned

“Yeah... just... got a little scared... don't know what got into her” you mumbled

“Keira is sorting it out right now” Leah said lowly “You okay G?”

“Yeah...” your girlfriend nodded slightly

“You want to report it to Sarina? Or want me to tell her?” Leah asked seriously “You're calling it G... I don't know what happened but I know you didn't provoke her so Lucy laying her hands on you...”

“No...” your girlfriend interrupted her friend “... I just want to talk to her... alone”

“Are you sure G?” Leah asked again

“Yes I'm sure...” Georgia nodded again “... I don't want her thrown of the team Lee... I just want to know why”

“Your call G...” Leah sighed and called over “Kei... lets go” before looking at you “You come with us”

“Da Fuck I will” you said stubborn

“Babe it's okay... let me sort this out okay...” your girlfriend said calmly

“I swear Lucy... if you even as much as look at her the wrong way I will end you” you sneered as you passed your sister getting pulled along by Leah

You don't know how much time passed as you watched through the big glass windows as your girlfriend and sister having a talk outside the hotel with you inside the lobby

“Calm down Bitsy...” Keira said as she pulled you into her side “... G's a big girl... she can handle it”

“I know... but Kei... Luce basically attacked her with no reason” you huffed but let Keira comfort you a little bit

“I know it sounds like a cheap excuse but... she just got scared about your well-being... I KNOW you are also a big girl Bitsy... but you'll always be her little girl... she's trying Bitsy... but seeing you cry made her snap” the blonde mumbled as she pulled you closer

“But it wasn't because of G... I told her what happened in Barcelona and I couldn't stop the tears... G had nothing to do with it” you said as fresh tears starting to form in your eyes “and she didn't listen... Lucy didn't listen to me... I can't do this Kei... I can't have my sister and my girlfriend fighting... or my sister fighting my girlfriend – she needs to stop”

“She will Bitsy... it just takes some time for her to come to terms with it... she's not good with change either – where do you think you got it from?” Keira smiled slightly

After what seemed like forever in your mind you got surprised as you saw your sister and girlfriend hugging. Not an awkward hug. It was a full on bear hug. Like the hugs you only accept from a few people in your life – full of love and unspoken promises. You watched as they parted again but Lucy kept her arm around Gs shoulders as they walked back into the lobby stopping right in front of Keira and you

“You two dating now?” you asked raising an eyebrow

“Yeah about that babe...” Georgia smirked playing along

“It's fine... I'll just take your best friend then...” you waved off starting to grin

“Does Leah know about this?” Keira now asked faking confusion

“Not talking about Leah” you smirked as you pressed yourself further into the blonde

“That... looks so wrong” Lucy looked horrified

“YOU asked me if it was Keira!!” you exclaimed accusingly

“and THAT was a genuine mistake...” your sister defended herself quickly “... but you made it looked like it was!”

“I was just wearing her shorts!!!” you bantered back

“What in our world means that you're basically engaged!!!” Luce fired back

“Where's my ring?” you turned to Keira expectantly raising your eyebrow again

“EXCUSE ME?!” Georgia exclaimed fake shocked “You're engaged and making moves on me?? Keira I swear I didn't know”

“Meeh... it's alright G... thought I give her the chance to get it out of her system before tying her down... because that's over then... and she was drooling over you for a long time” Keira waved off before all of you bursted out laughing

“Luce...” you said getting serious again “... you can't do that... you can't freak out like that again”

“I know... I'm sorry Bubs... It's just...” your sister tried to explain but couldn't find the right words so Keira helped her out

“It's not easy for us Bitsy... we love you so much and even if we KNOW that G would never ever hurt you – seeing you cry is hard for us” the blonde said as she started to scratch the back of your neck lightly “.... we went through so much together that we just want to protect you – and again... we know that that one wouldn't hurt you on purpose but still... seeing you crying and in distress just flips a switch... the difference is that I have WAY more self-control than your sister” Keira explained quietly

“I'll never hurt her I promise” G said quickly her eyes wide

“I know G... I know you'll never hurt her on purpose but there will be hurt... because that's how a relationship works – it's not always sunshine and rainbows... you both have to work for it and you have to communicate” Keira said serious “We'll always be there to support you and if you want give advice – you're both young and we know what it's like to be separated for some time...”

“Thanks Kei” you mumbled into her shoulder

“Always Bitsy...” she smiled as she pressed a kiss to your forehead “And G”

“Yeah?” your girlfriend asked weary

“For god sakes... grow some balls and defend your girl” Keira said sternly “Lucy can take some bollocking – because that will be something she has to deal with when we're back in Spain anyway”

“I have to what?” your sister asked horrified knowing Keira doesn't fuck about

“We'll have a talk when we're back... just you and me... in private” the blonde informed your sister who shrunk back a little under the intense stare of her ex-girlfriend

“Uuuuhhh... someone is in troooouuuble” you sing-songed snickering

“You want to be added to the list?” Keira raised her eyebrow looking down at you

“Yeah no thank you” you quickly said sheepishly

“Thought so... now off you go... it's late and it was an eventful day – I can see and feel the exhaustion from you” the blonde scoffed before pushing you off her slightly

“Luce” you whined and your sister immediately turned around to give you a piggy back ride

You unceremoniously climbed on her back letting her carry you to the elevator getting you to your room while Keira and G stayed behind

“I'm sorry for what happened G” Keira started

“It's okay Kei...” Georgia waved off

“No it's not G... it's not okay what Lucy did” the blonde interrupted her best friend quickly “... she shouldn't have reacted that way... and I promise you it'll never happen again I make sure of it... but I want you to understand that Bitsy is her everything – Lucy wouldn't think twice to jump in front of a truck for her... both of us wouldn't think twice but Lucy would be quicker. She went through so much and never actually talked about it or grieved you know – when she got the news of it being her ACL again and this time she's forced to stop playing... she just... sat there” Keira said remembering the day as if it happened yesterday “... she just sat there – 13 years old... blank face... shrugging her shoulders – Lucy and I kept it together until we were home and then first Lucy broke and then me... but her... she just – I don't want to say accepted it but she just bottled it up... she lost her spark that day – and slowly it's coming back... you are the reason for that G... you don't know it but you help her heal more than Lucy and I could in the last three years”

“I... didn't do anything” your girlfriend said confused

“You treat her right G... and that's enough for her” Keira smiled slightly

“I nearly didn't... you know... if it wasn't for her stubbornness” Georgia admitted shyly

“What do you mean? And yes... everyone with the name Bronze is stubborn as fuck” the blonde said rolling her eyes

“She kissed me you know... after the Euros... I was... drunk... but sober enough to kinda realize what’s happening... I pulled her outside the locker room and told her this can't happen..” your girlfriend explained to her best friend “... I told her she's too young and this isn't what she wants... she told me she may be young but she definitely knows what she wants... and that's me... she was so adamant... but I pushed her away a few time... until she showed up at me apartment in Munich – god only knows where she got the info from where I live – and just TOLD me that she won't accept me saying “no” anymore and she'll definitely won't let me run away and hide anymore... my whole self-control broke that moment....”

“So you did have sex with her before her birthday... because that's what she told Luce... that you waited till her birthday” Keira questioned

“No... god no... I didn't touch her that way before her birthday... I swear Kei... I mean there were some moments where it nearly got to that point but I stopped... I SWEAR K...” Georgia said quickly

“G... even if you did have sex with her before... it's in the past and nothing can change it... I know how the Bronze women can be... once they have something set their mind on it takes an army to get them to get them off the rails... it doesn't matter if it's Lucy or Bitsy or Sophie or Diane...” Keira smiled “... you will experience that in future a few times – and I wish you good luck and already feel sorry for you at the same time... but what Luce did earlier is still not okay”

“We talked it out K... I swear it's okay... she promised to hold back” your girlfriend assured

“You could talk to Sarina...” Keira said but this time Georgia interrupted her

“No... she apologized we talked it out... done and dusted... I understand her Kei... I really do... because if I see someone making me girlfriend cry I would snap too” your girlfriend waved off

“Great...” Keira mumbled “... another one I have to keep an eye on... the next time I get asked what I would do if I don't play professionally football anymore I say “zookeeper”... got plenty of experience in keeping wild animals under control”

Georgia burst out laughing and offered her best friend her hand to pull her off the couch. Keira accepted the hand gladly and let G pull her into a standing position.

“You're getting old Walsh” Georgia teased when Keira groaned getting pulled into an upright position

“No... I'm just over the whole shite” Keira grumbled as she turned around to leave

“Love you Walsh” G yelled after her

“Love you Stanway” Keira yelled back making Georgia smile

Lucy noticed you were asleep before you two even made it to your room. The way your head slowly sank deeper onto her shoulder was a clear indicator – as well as your light snoring and the occasional smacking of your lips. Your sister “knocked” on the door using her foot adjusting her hold on you. LJ opened annoyed but perked up immediately when she saw Lucy

“Yeah?” LJ asked

“Just here to deliver Bubs...” Lucy said being a little icy towards the younger player

“Oh... okay” LJ said stepping aside letting Lucy in

Your sister disposed you carefully and with practical ease on the bed and started to pull your socks and trousers off your legs

“She's 16... I think she's capable of undressing herself” LJ bit a little too harsh which caused Lucy to narrow her eyes at her teammate

“I am aware... but I also know her... look LJ... I don't know what your twos problem is but when it comes down to it – she's my baby sister... and whoever hurts her better makes his last will because I won't have it...” Lucy said seriously as she made sure your scars were covered quickly

“Lucy... I know that okay... and yes we're not really friends anymore” LJ started and Lucy snorted “... but I think we can be civil with each other.. I mean you and me know she swapped my cleats and I did nothing to her did I now”

“I really like you as a person and a player LJ...” Lucy sighed before pressing a kiss to your head “... but again.. she's my baby sister”

“We will figure it out” LJ said and if you weren't asleep you would've bursted out laughing – because from your side there was no “figuring it out”

“Morning” you greeted Meado at the elevators the next morning

“Morning pumpkin” Beth greeted back giving you a once over “You okay?”

“Gettin there... need coffee” you said slowly clearly still half asleep as you felt Meado putting her arm over your shoulders pulling you into her side

“Pumpkin I know you don't want to hear it but I need you to eat something too okay... I know you can go longer than 24 without food but it's not healthy” Beth said a little concern in her voice.

She as well haven't forgotten what happened two years ago. How Leah called her full on sobbing that she needs to get to Manchester as quick as possible but she can't go on her own because she probably would crash the car. Of course Beth immediately was on board picking Leah up not even 15 Minutes later. Leah was an emotional mess. Meado actually didn't find out what happened until there were about 30 Minutes out of Manchester. And when Leah finally told her – Beth nearly lost control over the car. So yes – your well-being also was important to her.

“Yeah I know... yesterday was just...” you started ashamed

“... emotional... I know...” Meado finished for you smiling slightly

“Morning” you heard suddenly as Keira stood behind the two of you

“Morning Kei” Meado said happily while you just grunt in response

“Come here Bitsy” Keira said lovingly opening her arms knowing you always need longer and more importantly physical contact in the mornings

The elevator arrived and all three of you entered it to go down to breakfast. One floor down Millie and Rach entered the elevator and you immediately whined for Millie to carry you. As usual you had everyone wrapped around your finger and so it happened that you got carried to the breakfast room where surprisingly Sarina waited for you with a coffee in your hand

“We need to talk, Liefje” the dutch said you still clutched to Millies back pushing the mug into your hands “So ex that and with me”

“What did you do to make the big boss angry?” Millie asked confused as she set you down looking after Sarina who was just leaving

“You're guess is as good as mine” you shrugged your shoulders downing the coffee shuffling after the dutch into an empty meeting room

“What can I do for you great masteress of lionesses?” you tried to lighten the mood

“What happened yesterday?” Sarina came straight to the point looking at you expectantly

“Huh?” you looked at her confused

“Why were two of my best players at each other throats AGAIN yesterday after dinner?” the dutch said and you knew not to fuck about

“There was a misunderstanding” you said carefully

“Elaborate” Sarina said seriously and you noticed she's getting angry

“I told G about what happened... two years ago... and in Barcelona... because I wanted to be honest with her... I started crying... I didn't even noticed I was crying... and suddenly Lucy was there having a go at G... but Kei and Leah took care of it” you spilled immediately trying to low the blow

“Okay... okay...” the dutch sighed out massaging her temples

“I didn't mean too” you said quickly feeling incredibly guilty

“It's not your fault... but I need to talk to both of them... this can't go on” Sarina said seriously “I can't have my squad fighting each other”

“I know” you sighed ashamed “... I don't know what's going on with Lucy... because G did nothing and Luce is constantly out for her...”

“Your sister is protective, Liefje” Sarina said softly “And it's hard for her to see you dating”

“But... I'm not a baby anymore” you said desperately

“Liefje... you were with her your whole life – there were rumours that you are her daughter instead of her sister” the dutch chuckled

“Ugh” you gagged slightly

“I want something else from you” Sarina now leaned against the big table

“Ehrm... I feel honoured but... Ehrm... you are a little to... experienced for me Mama Rina” you stuttered scratching the back of your neck

“Dear god kiddo... it's not all about sex in life...” the dutch rolled her eyes “... I want you to come up with a exercise for training – teamwork and communication”

“Why are you including me so much...” you asked a little confused

“Because I know how great you can be – you always sell yourself short... I want you to realize how amazing you are and live it” Sarina said softly “... and I want to inform you that we indeed have a friendly against Spain in 10 days”

“Yes... I really want to face them” you said happily “... I really want Less and Toons to meet Mapí”

“Liefje... I will put you on a leash you if you plan on doing something stupid” the dutch pointed her finger at you

“I just want to.... cultivate international relations...” you said carefully

“You want to cause trouble – I will talk to Lucy about your harness... what was the name?” Sarina waved off

“Bronzo” you murmured defeated

“Ah yes... now... I want you to come up with an exercise and a strategy for the game against Spain” the dutch said and you know your little “meeting” was over

“Yes Mama Rina” you sighed already thinking about different drills

“Oh and y/n?” Sarina held you back as you were about to leave

“Yes?” you looked up a little shocked

“Send your sister and girlfriend in” the dutch smirked and winked at you

“Will do” you smiled widely “With pleasure”

“BRONZE!!! STANWAY!!” you yelled when you entered the breakfast room and all heads snap towards you

“Big Bossies wants to talk to you” you nodded towards the meeting room

Both your sisters and your girlfriends face went white as they stood up walking slowly past you with Georgia stopping shortly

“Are we out?” G whispered lowly

“Don't think so... but I can't say for sure” you whispered back grabbing her hand and squeezing it encouraging

“If that's the case I'll still be around – we can invade Leahs apartment” Georgia smiled lightly but you saw right through it

“She won't kick you out.. she'll kick your ass and that's it... she knows it's not you who causes trouble... it's Luce” you leaned up quickly pressing a kiss to your girlfriends cheek

“STANWAY!!” now Sarina yelled down the corridor

Georgia quickly let go of your hand and ran down the corridor.

“They're in trouble?” Keira asked you as you plopped down in the chair next to her inspecting Keiras plate who immediately pushed it towards you

“Yeah.... somehow Sarina knows about yesterday” you mumbled “... hey Kei?”

“Yes Bitsy?” the blonde smiled at you

“Can I have eggs?” you asked embarrassed

“Of course Bitsy.. why do you ask?” Keira looked at you confused

“Don't know.... just feel like it” you shrugged your shoulders

“Come on Bits... let's get you some breeki hm?” the blonde smiled encouraging and pulled you out of your chair leading you over to the buffet

“Take whatever you want Bitsy.... just... don't load your plate Bronze style” Keira smiled as you went over all the option

“Eggs... bacon...” you mumbled to yourself

“Something healthy” Keira threw in

“Guac....” you mumbled deep in thoughts “Uuuuhhh.... donuts”

“No” Keira smiled sweetly

“But” you whined childish

“No Bitsy... take some fruit and we're good” the blonde grinned

“But you said whatever I want” you whined again

“No donuts... you didn't do anything today what would justify a donut” Keira said and you knew you lost the donut for good

You sighed heavy and took an apple from the fruit basket

“Uuuuhhh... mom put her foot down” Rachel laughed as you passed they're table

Keira pushed you to walk on when she noticed you wanted to start arguing with the blonde and lead you back to your table. After you sat down you looked down on your plate with the apple next to it. You picked up the apple looked at it for a second before throwing it towards Rachel hitting her straight in the back of the head which caused the whole table (especially Millie) to interrupt in loud laughter and Rachel to swear loudly. Keira scolded you lightly but smiled nonetheless

Lucy, Georgia and Sarina entered the room. The two players looked like drowned puppies while the Head coach smiled satisfied. Georgia immediately took a detour towards Tooneys and Less table which caused you to frown. Lucy sat down opposite to you and you watched her closely

“All good?” you asked

“All good” your sister answered before continuing to eat

“Okay Girls... this was a really good training so far” Sarina yelled over the field clapping her hands

“Our new addition here” she pulled you next to and in to a hug “will have the honour for the last exercise of the day”

All Lionesses looked at you expectantly and you suddenly felt a little shy

“I didn't agree to your offer” you mumbled shyly

“You will” Sarina smiled happily “I'm pretty positive about it – now go and show them what you got”

“Okay Ladies... and Lucy” you said loudly grinning after the little pep talk

“Hey!!” your sister exclaimed annoyed as the team began to chuckle

“Listen up... we're playing Hungry Hippo” you clapped your hands and Rachel “woohooed” loudly

“For everyone who doesn't know Hungry Hippo... it's simple... teams of three each... every team gets four balls... you have to defend your balls and also have to steal the balls of the other teams... team who is out of eggs first runs laps until the game is over” you explained quickly

“What's the goal of the game?” Niamh asked

“Goal of the game is to get all the balls in one “nest”... the goal of the exercise is teamwork and communication... you need to work together and communicate with each other” you explained “And before you ask... I put the teams together”

“Aaaawww maaaaan” you heard Less groan

“Walsh, Stanway, James” you rattled off ignoring one of your best friends

“Russo, Williamson, Toone” you smirked knowing you just got Leah back for the rooming incident

“WHAT??” the capitan exclaimed shocked

“YES!!” Tooney and Less high-fived

“Daly, Bright, Mearps” you continued and split all the players into teams

“Really?” Sarina asked under her breath but loud enough that you could hear her “Walsh, Stanway and James?”

“Kei and G are pissed at James – rightfully so but still need to learn to keep it off the pitch” you mumbled back

“Genius move – I need you in my team” Sarina smiled

“And you will.. I want Jill Scott as my guardian” you said off handy

“Done” the dutch answered quickly and smiled widely

“And we will talk about numbers... I want a good salary” you smirked at her

“You haven't even seen the contract and already start hackling?” Sarina laughed

“I saw Lucys contracts over the years... they were shit..” you pointed out

“We'll talk about it later... now let them run” the blonde dutch smiled and you grabbed her whistle successfully pulling the short woman closer to you and blew that whistle hard

Immediately there interrupted chaos on the field and you couldn't help but laugh loudly when Lucy rugby tackled Rachel to the ground who tried to steal a ball from your sisters nest. The little game continued for some while – for a hot second it looked like Keiras team was loosing since they did everything than communicating with each other but the recovered quickly and got some balls back. You also saw how different the teams approach their tactics to defend and retrieve. Team Bright for example had Mearps AND Bright on defending egg duty while Rach zipped around stealing balls. Lucys team had only Lucy for defence and Lotte and Meado for retrieval. It was honestly too funny and you turned around to the media team

“Oi edits.... get some footage of that... fans will love it” you laughed as they quickly scramble to get some of the chaos on video

“Hey.... hey you” you shouted over to a guy who stood there a little lost and when he turned towards you you waved him over

“What's your job here?” you asked but still keeping an eye on the field

“I'm... a trainee” the dirty blonde said shyly

“Okay... perfect... go get coffee for the big boss and myself.... she takes it black like her soul – strong... basically like oil... I want a latte” you said smiling

“Where do I find coffee?” the young bloke said getting even more shy

“In the meeting rooms should be coffee machines.... just... take some from there” you looked a little unsure yourself “Oh... and what's your name?”

“Finney... friends call me Finn” he now smiled getting a little more comfortable talking to you

“Yeah no.... I'll just call you Fren... we're Frens now” you waved off “everyone who brings me coffee is a Fren”

“Okay... I promise I bring the best coffee I can find” he smiled before sprinting off

“Already abusing your status I see” Sarina smirked next to you

“Don't tell me you had enough time this morning to actually fulfil your caffeine fix” you said rolling your eyes

“Of course I didn't... I had to put your sister and girlfriend through the wringer AND put them on probation.... I was THIS close to put them on the naughty step” the dutch mumbled annoyed

“I would have paid to see that” you bursted out laughing “OI STANWAY.... STOP PULLING LOTTES PANTS DOWN!!!!”

“JEALOUS???” Lotte yelled back holding onto her shorts for dear life with Georgia hanging on the hem of them shorts trying to pull them down once again

“Not at all” you yelled back laughing at their antics “She already knows how comfortable the couch is...”

You saw a few seconds later how team “Two best idiots + Leah” lost their last ball and you grabbed Sarinas whistle (and Sarina) again whistling loudly. All Lionesses froze in their place and you grinned

“I really enjoy this” you said loudly smirking evilly “... Capitan oh Capitan....” you said dramatically “... your team is the first loosing all their Hippo eggs... so... you and your mates.... off you scramble... laps until the game is over”

“You can't do that” Leah growled knowing fully well you actually can make her run

“Oh but I can... I said beforehand the first team without Hippo eggs will run laps, Williamson” you smirked enjoying having the upper hand for once extremly “... sooooo... run”

Less and Tooney already jogging away from you knowing they wouldn't get out of it anyway so they just accepted their fate. Leah on the other hand was adamant to prove a point now looking at Sarina

“She can't do that” Leah said sounding a little like a small child

“She can... I gave her the task of finding a exercise for teamwork and communication – which she did – and I authorized it.... she said before you all started what will happen and you lost.... get going Leah...” Sarina said calmly knowing when to back you up and when you can defend yourself

Leah started to jog away still mumbling and growling under her breath

“Thank you Mama Rina...” you mumbled as you accepted your coffee from Finn

“No need Liefje... you were in the right and just because Leah wants to pull the capitan card doesn't mean she can do that all the time” the dutch said softly also accepting her coffee from the young lad.

The leftover players on the field were still looking at you expectantly and you realized you didn't restart the game

“Sorry guys” you smiled embarrassed

“Wait...” Grace (Clinton) said quickly before you were able to blew the whistle again

“Yeah Hillary?” you looked at her smirking

“First... please don't....” she sighed “second... what does the winner get?”

“Oh... winner gets the afternoon off – and gets a cheat meal extra” you smiled shrugging your shoulders

“Excuse me?? I didn't agree to that” Sarina exclaimed surprised

“Yeah well... I just thought of that” you looked at her apologetic

“The things I let slide with you” the dutch rolled her eyes and waved her hand for you to continue

“Love you Mama Rina” you smiled pressing a soft kiss to her cheek

“Yeah yeah” the blonde murmured but a smile tugged on the edge of her lips

You blew the whistle again and immediately there interrupted chaos again – the game ended with a tie (you were made to stop it by Sarina) between Team Walsh and Team Bronze. Which surprised everyone – especially you but you did internally congratulate yourself for fulfilling the task of brining the team closer together.

The Bus ride was mostly quiet except for Georgia and Esme (who was on Lucys team) discussing rather loudly what they would have as their cheat meal with Rachel throwing in Gs direction

“Little Bronze doesn't count you know... you can eat her as much as you like” the blonde smirked and immediately got Lucys dirty sock thrown in her face while you bursted out laughing next to Mearps and Georgia turning fire red once again. Back at the Hotel everyone went to their rooms to shower and get ready for Lunch and eventual media assignments. Lunch went over without a hitch – if you ignore the fact that your sister shooed your girlfriend away again – and soon all of you got the plan for the rest of the day.

You entered the room which was officially dubbed the “common get together”-room finding Lucy, Keira, Mary, Less, Tooney, Niamh, Meado and LJ (who you honestly could do without) chilling around. Some of them were lounging on the couch while Tooney, Less and Niamh were placed at the table playing with some Legos. You made a beeline for your two bestest friends as Keira looked up from her book

“No” the blonde just said knowing letting you sit with them would end up in a Lego fight and you'd throw pieces at each other until one got either hurt or cried

“Keira cooooome ooooon” you whined which caused Tooney and Less to look up

“Yeah Keira... cooooome ooooon” Tooney whined too

“Come here Bubs” Lucy said from her place on the couch stretched her hand towards you trying to get you to come over to her “Wanna show you something”

“You can always show it to LJ” you pulled a face and your voice was laced with venom

“Huh?” your sister looked at you confused as you turned around now marching towards Tooney like you were on a mission

“Bitsy” Keira warned you raising her eyebrow in challenge

“I'm just gonna sit here” you said annoyed and the blonde noticed your grumpy mood

“No Lego fights!” the blonde looked at you threating

“Okay mom” the three of you answered simultaneously grinning

Soon after Less got called away by the media team for some... whatever, you didn't pay attention. Tooney and you continued to build on your Lego castle but as usual after like 30 minutes you both got bored

You just looked at each other communicating without words – like always. You both stood up at the same time looking around until your eyes fell on the dart board that was hung up on the other side of the room. Tooney and you tried to be as sneaky as possible as you slandered over to said piece of fun without noticing Keira watching every step you took. Just as you were about to pull the third dart out of the board so Toons and you could play a hand reached over your shoulder taking all darts away

“I told you... no sharp objects” you immediately reconized the voice of one Keira Walsh

“They're not sharp...” you pouted as you turned around to look at her with your best puppy eye look

“No pointy objects either” Keira smiled sweetly and you knew it was fake as fuck

“But... Tooney and I wanted to play” you pouted

“Tooney is banned from pointy objects too” the blonde just said hoping to end this topic

“Tooney is what?” Ella said confused

“The last time you whined for a WEEK that your finger nearly fell off” Keira rolled her eyes “So no darts for you either... find something else”

“Oh yeah.. I forgot about that... it was really close for me finger to fall off” Tooney said as she remembered her last interaction with darts

“Your bloody finger was fine” you exclaimed

“Bloody... that's the word you should emphasize... so much blood” Ella sighed

“Less nearly broke my nose.... THAT was bloody... your finger was just... trickling blood” you said upset

“If you don't stop to one up each other immediately I'm going to put you in different corners of the room” Keira interrupted your “fight”

“Sorry mom” both of you said

“Gosh... can't you two play nicely with each other for once?” the blonde rolled her eyes

“We tried... you wouldn't allow it” you tried to reason with her

“No sharp or pointy objects” Keira said again “Find something else”

You looked over at Tooney who just shrugged her shoulders

“Uh... there's a bowling thing in the basement... can we go bowling? Nothing sharp, nothing pointy” you said excited as Tooney started to beam

“Not without a responsible adult around” Keira said “And I'm not going down there with you”

“Millie and Rach are down there... I think” you said as you tried to convince Kei

“Lucy?” the blonde turned around to your sister

“Yeah?” Lucy looked up from her phone where she (most likely) texted with Ona

“I just spoke english did I?” Keira asked her ex

“Ehrm... yes? Why?” your sister asked confused

“Good... I just thought I switched to spanish without noticing it when I said them two nobbheads won't go bowling in the basement without a responsible adult and Bitsys answer was Millie and Rachel... I just wanted to double check that I in fact did use the english language” the blonde said and you groaned behind her knowing she just shut down your idea

“Oh no... you definitely spoke english” Lucy smirked

“Mary??” you asked hopefully looking at the keeper

“Yeah okay...” the tall brunette rolled her eyes but smiled noneless “I'll take you bowling”

“YES!!” you high fived Tooney “Mary counts as responsible, right?” you checked with Keira

“Yes... Mary counts as responsible” the blonde sighed actually hoping you'd find no body who would go with you so she could keep an eye on you

“Woohoo...” you cheered chasing after Tooney who already was sprinting towards the door

“No running” Mary yelled after you but it was no use as she stood up following the two of you

“I'll give them 20 Minutes” Keira said plopping down next to Lucy on the couch

“Naah... Mearps is good... Bubs respects Mearps.... 30” your sister grinned as she started a timer

32 Minutes later the door of the common room got kicked open and Mary carried you bridal style inside to cross the room with quick strides. Tooney was following after you apologizing profusely while you whined into Marys neck

“32 Minutes and 17 seconds” Lucy looked down on her phone grinning stopping the timer showing it to Keira

“Should we follow or just ignore that something went horribly wrong... as always when these two are left to their own?” the blonde sighed looking expectantly at Lucy

“Naah... she has Mearps with her...” your sister waved off smirking knowing you'll throw an absolute fit once one of the physios wants to touch whatever limp is hurting at the moment.

A minute later the door opens again and Mearps head appeared

“Luce... Kei.... Help... please? She bit the new physio already” the brown haired keeper pleaded with her teammates

“Rock paper scissors?” Lucy asked raising her eyebrow

“2 out of 3 or at first go?” Keira just asked back already getting ready

“First go... we don't have the time for 2 out of 3” your sister said getting ready as well.

“Okay Bubs... why are you causing trouble again?” your sister sighed as she entered the medic room “And what happened in the first place?”

“I want Keira” you sniffled

“Yeah well... Keira won rock paper scissors so here I am” Lucy shrugged sitting down on the exam table next to you

“Tooney threw the bowling ball on me foot” you whined and Lucy REALLY needed to bite her tongue to not burst out laughing – leave it to Tooney and you to actually get hurt by a bowling ball

“We just wanted to take a look but she wouldn't let us touch her foot” one of the Medics explained to your sister

“It's okay... I got it” your sister smiled as she sat down further down on the table putting your foot into her lap which caused you to whine and try to pull away

“No Bubs... let me look” Lucy said softly starting to undo your laces and carefully pulling your shoe off your sock following just after the shoe

“Okay... I'm no medic but it doesn't look broken...” your sister said looking up at you “We'll just let the pros have a look at it okay Bubs”

You knew it was a rhetorical question but that doesn't mean you couldn't answer anyway

“No no no no no” you shook your head quickly

“Yes... come on Bubs... just a quick once over and we're out of here again – I'll even get you some cookies” Lucy said softly knowing you needed reassurance right now

“Okay... but I want a donut... the chocolate one” you mumbled

“Of course” Lucy chuckled nodding to the medics

Just as she promised they just did a quick once over put some tape on your foot and told Lucy you should keep weight off it for at least 24 hours before sending you on your way again. Your sister knew you would be stubborn about letting her help you so she quickly grabbed you before you could slide down from the table and carried you down the hall

“Lucy let me down” you yelled annoyed as your sister carried you into the common room

“I will...” Lucy said calmly looking for a place to dispose you “Stop wriggling”

“Now...” you grunted trying to get out of your sisters hold

“No...” Lucy grunted back “Kei help”

“Just put her down on the beanbag” the blonde said already coming over

“Keira...” you whined loudly

“Oh Bitsy... what have you done now?” Keira sighed seeing your taped up foot

“Toons just doesn't know how to bowl” you huffed crossing your arms over your chest

“I TOLD you to be careful” the blonde scolded

“I WAS... I stood behind her... ball needs to go forward.. not my fault she doesn't understand the rules” you grumbled back

“I'm really sorry” Tooney said from the table where she got placed down by Mary “gently” (gently means death glare and pointed finger)

“I know you are Toons” you grinned “You got me donut”

“Excuse me??” Keira exclaimed looking at your sister annoyed

“She was good... she deserves one” Lucy defended herself knowing by Keiras look that the blonde didn't agree

“Just like always Lucia” Keira snarled “You don't have to deal with her when she gets all hyperactive because of the sugar – you just sleep or disappear”

“I'll be good Kei... I promise” you said quickly not wanting that Keira and Lucy fight

“I know you Bitsy... you won't... so you can have your donut... tomorrow... and in small pieces” the blonde said strictly

“But...” you started but got shut down immediately by Keiras killer glare “Can I play Lego with Tooney?” you asked instead sheepishly

“You hate Lego” the blonde answered as a matter of fact

“There's nothing else to do” you whined

“You can just leave your ass seated for a hot minute” Keira sighed loudly throwing her arms in the air annoyed

“That's boring” you whined making grabby hands towards Keira

“Seriously Bitsy.... you and Tooney are a guaranteed headache” the blonde said but helped you up nonetheless

“y/n... Tooney... you up for some media contend?” a voice suddenly asked from the door

“YES!!” you and Tooney exclaimed quickly as you tried to hobble away from Keiras prying hands as quick as possible

“Great... we have something fun planned...” the man you named “edit” (because he edits all the contend for the Lionesses social media) grinned widely

“You need my approval” Lucy yelled out just as you and Toons slipped through the door letting it fall shut loudly

“Okay guys... first you gonna introduce yourself and then we gonna explain what you have to do” edit says as if you two did media for the first time

“We know how this works Steve” Ella rolled her eyes

“Okay... then... go” the black haired man said

“Hi guys... I'm Ella Toone” Tooney smiled brightly

“.. and I'm the smarter and better looking Bronze” you grinned into the camera

“You have a name you twat” Ella said hitting your shoulder

“I know I do... but I AM the smarter and better looking Bronze” you huffed back shoving Ella so she nearly fell of the chair

“Okay... so here's what you two will do today” one of the media guys explained from the background “Ella we going to blindfold you and we play a little taste test”

“Why am I getting blindfolded??” Tooney whined loudly while you grinned

“Because you so ugly they don't want their lenses to crack” you laughed

“Shut up” Ella shoved you hard pushing you successfully off your chair and you took the table down with you.

Tooney looked down at you shocked but a second later both of you exploded laughing

“Oh god... we should've paired someone else” one of the media guys said desperately already seeing this go horribly wrong

The staff help you up again and set up the table again before giving you a Lionesses scarf and tell you to cover Ellas eyes with it. After you done your bit and actually tested that Toons really doesn't see anything by pretending to hit her multiple times you grinned happily back into the camera

“What now?” you asked excited as you got handed a take out box

“Now you just have to feed that to Tooney and she has to guess what it is” edit says pointing to the box

You opened the box looked inside and immediately gagged loudly before closing it again.

“What?? What is it??” Ella asked alarmed

You opened the box again and now even just the smell resulted in you gagging even louder (the gag that comes from way down) – you felt like you nearly need to vomit

“y/n... you can't do that... stop gagging” Tooney said seriously already feeling her stomach tighten

“Sorry... but... no... no” you said again pulling your shirt over your nose heaving again

“STOP IIIIIT” Ella whined

“This stuff is making me heave... I can't stop” you gagged again turning away from the take out box “I swear Toons... I would be livid if they made me eat that...”

“Stoooop” Ella now whined desperately “You can't say shit like that and expect me to eat whatever it is”

“Okay... okay...” you breathed deeply reassuring – not Ella but yourself “okay... this isn't gonna be nice okay Toons... just... swallow it... don't taste it just swallow it down... ready?” you asked having a little bit of the brown substance on a wooden spoon

“Fuck me” Toons looked unsure

“Trust me Toons... just... down” you said unsure as you lined up the spoon with roughly Ellas mouth

“But...” as soon as Ella opened her mouth you shoved the spoon into her mouth pulling it out a second later

“Get that away from me” you pushed the take out box harshly so it nearly tumbles off the table before looking at Ella again who actually started to chew a little bit

“Toons... just swallow it... you're not a fucking gourmet” you exclaimed disgusted

“What is it?” Ella asked trying to guess the right flavor

“It's dog food I swear... it looks like the stuff Lucy gives Narla... Caesars or something” you said starting to heave again

“It's not...” Tooney said convinced “It's pâté... or something”

“THAT'S Pâté?” you asked confused since you were sure it was dog food

“It's not Pâté” one of the guys said from behind the camera

“IT'S NOT???!!!” Ella screeched

“Told you... it's dog food” you said offhandly

“It's chicken paste” the guy said

“Oh... oh... it's not bad actually” Tooney said nodding

“No... if you ever bring that near me again I'll break you legs” you gagged loudly again

Half an hour later the two of you left the media room and Tooney helped you hobble down the hallway.

“I swear Toons... it look like dog food” you mumbled needing to concentrate on your good foot

“But it was tasty” the brown haired girl said softly as she held you upright

“Hey” suddenly someone stood in your way

You looked up to see your girlfriend leaning casually against the wall

“Need a lift?” she smiled at you softly

“I would take a ride too” you winked and this time it was Ella who gagged loudly

"You know... I'm just gonna call you Georgiaswifey from now on" Tooney huffed as she helped you onto your girlfriends back

(if you want to see the inspirational video to that media moment of bb and Tooney...

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C0M5xD0oapm/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==)

[lu-is-not-ok]

Hello! Just wanted to say that I've been reading your posts and analyses for awhile now, and I really enjoy them! So, I also thought of sharing a sort of theory of mine, bc I'm very interested in hearing what you might think about it.

For starters, these lines from Jia Xichun are very intriguing:

«No amount of pain could wake it from... whatever this dazed state it's in. As you can see...»

«... it must've been long driven mad from pain. Reminds you of the tricks from back home that could induce such an effect, doesn't it? Big brother.»

For two reasons. 1. This is the first time (iirc) in the story where Hong Lu doesn't reply and stays silent and seemingly uneasy; 2. The fact that this "dazed state" as it is described actually kind of reminds of Hong Lu's usual behavior a bit?

To elaborate, after her lines the attention was drawn back to the Priest, and his face was described as "serene". And who's facial expression was also described in a similar manner, precisely, with a literal synonym? Of course, Hong Lu, during the TKT Intervallo:

«The culprit wasn't the only one who suddenly began to behave strangely. Hong Lu did, too.»

«His face relaxed into a tranquil look, as though he was ready to let something go.

... Or perhaps... that was an express of liberation.»

And also to mention how the Priest started reminiscing similarly to how Hong Lu tells stories about his family (but idk, I'm afraid I am starting to reach even harder for this😭)

All in all, my theory, if you can call it that, is that perhaps those "tricks from back home" where actually performed on Hong Lu. This could potentially explain his constant aloofness, his reaction to Xichun's words (she brought up some of his traumatic memories?), and why exactly he has one of the most deranged IDs — because he has already been long driven mad from pain.

I really hope I worded this well enough, and I don't know if I sound like a lunatic or if I actually cooked something when I was thinking abt this at 2 am. And well, I'm also probably not the first one to think of this. But anyways, still thought this is worth bringing up!

Well, I hope you enjoy the Xichun Sin Analysis I just posted earlier then! That being said, there is something interesting I want to bring up with regards to this theory you pose, as it's tangentially related to the bits you reference and also it's been sitting in my head for a while now.

First point - I definitely agree that when Xichun brings up the "tricks" that can leave people in a similar state to the Priest, it's something Hong Lu has experienced himself.

We see Hong Lu has a tendency to avoid topics that bother him at all cost, like how he actively tries to redirect conversations in Hell's Chicken when he's being questioned regarding what he thinks could lead him into Distorting and when he senses Meursault is about to verbally lay into him. It's a tactic he employs very often as a distraction from the weirder things he says.

Interestingly enough, I believe Canto 7 is the first time we see Hong Lu avoid topics not through redirection, but through shutting down. That interaction you brought up isn't the first time in the Canto that he's rendered speechless either. In part 1, he's shown to respond with silence when both Rodya and Sinclair comment on their dislike of Xichun, being seemingly uncomfortable with the way they're talking about her.

And then there's a scene even earlier on in Part 1 that left a really, really major impression on me. Which. I can talk about now!

This, I believe, is the first time in Canto 7 where we see Hong Lu properly shut down in response to something. Something about what Xichun has said made him completely stop what he was doing earlier. His entire approach to the conversation changes in this moment. Earlier on he was excitedly asking questions, trying to give advice and gather information, but after this moment, Hong Lu is rendered completely passive, his lines being reduced to only responding to Xichun is saying in a very... honestly weird way.

It's not obvious in the transcript by itself, but his tone is... odd, compared to the way he was speaking earlier. In addition to that, every expression Hong Lu has during this conversation after this point are ones that actively have him not looking at Xichun, either using his closed eyes sprite or looking to the side sprite.

This moment struck me very, very heavily the first time I got to it in my plathrough. Part of it is because of the weird unnatural shift Hong Lu's behavior takes in this moment that I wasn't even consciously noticing until a reread. The other part is that the exact words Xichun says to Hong Lu that triggers this are ones that reminded me of something very specific in Dream of the Red Chamber.

There is a chapter fairly early on in Hong Lu's source novel that I can only describe as Bao-yu being verbally and emotionally abused by his father for the entire chapter. His father takes Bao-yu along as he shows off his garden to his acquaintances, and every time Bao-yu speaks up, whether by being prompted to or on his own, his father chastises him excessively. I don't remember the exact words, but the framing is pretty clear about the fact that Bao-yu's father sees his son's behavior as being a source of embarassment to himself in front of his acquaintances.

The kind of abuse shown in that chapter is downright stomach-churning in how realistically it is potrayed. It's genuinely upsetting and one of the main reasons I was unable to continue reading much further past that point.

I don't think it's a coincidence that Project Moon decided the thing that made Hong Lu have a shift in his behavior was being told him being himself is a cause of embarassment for someone else in his family. ...And I think Xichun's immediate reaction shows she realizes what is happening as well. It's very telling she doesn't bring up Hong Lu 'not getting better since the last time they've met' until this moment.

Because I don't think the thing he hasn't gotten better from is his upbeat, naive attitude. I believe it's his trauma response he's exhibiting right here. To become passive, downright submissive, and simply take everything that's being dealt to him without objections.

...Which segues nicely into the second point! Because the 'serene daze' shown on the Priest? The tranquility and peace Hong Lu exhibits in TKT, which is outright called out as strange by Dante? I believe it's the exact same as the trauma response I highlighted earlier. It's the immediate instinct to just lay down and take the pain because trying to fight back would only prolong the suffering.

The line about that expression being potentially "an express of liberation" is very telling. On the one hand, this Canto only further cements the fact that Hong Lu is just as passively suicidal as Yi Sang was before going through Canto 4. On the other, it directly ties back to Hong Lu potentially believing that the less resistance he shows, the sooner he'll be freed from suffering.

I already briefly went insane over the following line in a seperate post, but it feels extremely important to bring it up in here as well.

This line. This. Fucking. Line. Directly creates parallels between Oblivion and Naivete, drawing parallels between Donqui/Sancho and Hong Lu. And it's not that hard to see why.

We see that Donqui/Sancho's choice to embrace Oblivion, to completely try and erase her former identity and fall into a dream is motivated by her wishing to escape her reality, to stop thinking about the bloodshed and violence.

This line, and what we see of how Hong Lu acts throughout this Canto, is making it clear that Hong Lu's naive attitude, his constant willingness to assume the best of everyone around him, is just another part of his trauma response I've pointed out earlier.

It's how he escapes the violence he's been subjected to, the reality he's been living in. After all, the explanation he gives for why he wasn't afraid when the Time Killer tried to kill him... is because he understands why people want to hurt him. He didn't fight back when his siblings tried to kill him, because he knew why they would want to do that.

Because he tries to assume the best of everyone, tries to understand the reasons they do what they do, tries to be naively innocent, he's able to accept the pain and let it happen. Because if he can't, if he's forced to face none of what was done to him was justified... Well...

...This is where I would like to jump off and go on a tangent about my own theory. You see, you bring up the story the Priest starts telling to compare it to how Hong Lu acts with his anecdotes, but I think there's something much deeper going on with that story. Look at how the Priest begins it.

It's very clear the story he's telling is him directly comparing someone among the Sinners to Lorenzo, the Bloodfiend he's talking about. Dante's narration doesn't specify who the Priest means, as they only mentioned that "He looked at us", but it's clear from his words that he means a Single Specific Person here.

On my initial readthrough I assumed this was about Donqui, as this is her Canto after all, but... I no longer believe that's the case. In fact, I believe that the Sinner being used as a parallel to Lorenzo here is Hong Lu.

Let me give my evidence first.

One - We know the Priest, even in his daze, still recognizes Donqui as Sancho. The way he ends off his story says as much.

It's clear from his words and his actions that he's actively blaming Sancho for what happened to Lorenzo, and what he believes has happened to Cassetti as well. This would align with the feelings all of the named Kindreds we mett express towards her. So, to me at least, it's clear that the Priest wouldn't compare Sancho to Lorenzo in a way he has here.

Two - The framing of the scene and what follows later puts a lot of focus on Hong Lu.

Hong Lu is extremely present during this scene. Not only is the Priest compelled to share the story right after we see Hong Lu shut down at what Xichun has said, but the CG that follows his story inexplicably includes Hong Lu in it, listening intently.

And not only that, but soon after the Priest is taken away and Sansón tells another story, we get the moment of Donqui telling Dante she thinks it's Hong Lu's turn in the Golden Bough horrors.

If this were a game made by anyone else, I would take this as a self-aware joke pointing fun at how much focus Hong Lu has gotten in a Canto that's not his and move on. But this isn't anyone else.

This is Project Moon, who have a very Notable Track Record of hiding extremely important reveals and foreshadowing in one-off lines during comedic moments, especially in Limbus. See Canto 2 and Hell's Chicken. I genuinely believe the reason this joke exists here is to draw our attention not only to the parallels between Donqui/Sancho and Hong Lu, but also to the moments where Hong Lu is already the focus.

Three - The phrasing the Priest uses to refer to whoever he's comparing to Lorenzo.

The way he addresses this person and the rest of the group is very interesting, as there's emphasis put on his choice of the word "friends" to describe them. This feels important, as earlier on, in Part 1, Hong Lu himself denies Xichun's assessment that the Sinners are his faction, deliberately calling them his friends. Just like here the Priest calls the people accompanying the one he's directing the story at their friends.

So... what does that all mean for Hong Lu to be directly compared to Lorenzo? Well, let's take a quick look at what Lorenzo's story is.

Lorenzo is initially described as a Bloodfiend filled with positivity, to the point that the Priest thinks he didn't have anything to actually confess for. We see him think the way he's able to eat so many hemobars in one sitting as impressive, seeming completely oblivious to the the fact it's a clear sign the hemobars do nothing for Bloodfiends nutritionally.

This attitude completely changes however after Lorenzo tastes blood for the first time. He completely loses himself to obsession, spending hours licking a syringe just to be able to taste it. He completely loses his hope in the hemobars, having the drastic realization they do nothing, and lamenting how much longer he has to keep on living like this.

The story ends with the Priest remarking that after that shift, the only time he had seen Lorenzo genuinely happy was when he was about to be buried alive, when his head and brain were already completely decimated to the point he should be dead.

This... is already a lot.

Lorenzo's initial attitude, his positivity and naive belief that the hemobars are good despite the evidence to the contrary, are extremely close to how Hong Lu is right now. Upbeat, oblivious, always assuming the best of others. Hong Lu's passively suicidal tendencies could also track to Lorenzo's ending, how it's clear that Hong Lu is extremely willing to accept his own death.

...And then there's the whole middle of that story. There's a lot of different things this could be foreshadowing for Hong Lu's arc, but one thing is clear - he's not going to stay his upbeat self forever.

Every hint we've had about Hong Lu thus far. The implication he knows there's something that could make him distort all the way back in Hell's Chicken. The way we're told this Canto that Hong Lu's eye is dimming right after he comments how Donqui's twinkling eyes show she's "lucid", or living completely detached from reality. And then this, him being directly compared to a story of a Bloodfiend who upon finally being hit with reality begins to spiral and completely lose all his hope.

It all points to the idea that Hong lu will be forced to face his reality. To understand that his hemobars do jack shit and always have, that perhaps his family have never truly cared for him. And that realization could very well be the thing that finally breaks him.

I mean, his IDs already point to it, no? After all, Fanghunt Lu, possibly the most violent and deranged Hong Lu ID released thus far, one released alongside this part mind you, is shown to be actively thinking about and doubting the nature of family. "What even is a real family, I wonder?"

I'm just saying, if there's any Sinner who deserves to go utterly apeshit in their Canto, it would be Hong Lu. Let. My guy. Break Everything.

[songmingisthighs]

[4.38] mafia!hongjoong × reader

⇀ boisterous and loud is one thing, but a couple who dare fight in public? madness

⇁ honestly i'm so much into this type of hongjoong

wc : 1.3 k

rating : mature; strong language, disruptive behaviour, basic premise of illegal lifestyle

warning : cussing, violence, depiction of criminal life, unsavoury language and actions

discretion : the author does not support any and all depiction of criminal activities in this story, anything and everything written is published for the sake of fantasy. read at your own discretion.

"YOU MISERABLE SON OF A BITCH!"

A whack echoed the pristine corridor of a hotel, accompanying the sound of a woman fighting with her husband in public. "Ow! You-" Hongjoong was about to scream back at you but you swung your purse once again towards him but missed as he ducked just in time. "Come on you big baby, you can get a gun shot or two but God forbid your wife smack some sense into you with a Birkin," you scoffed, dusting imaginary dust off of your custom dyed Birkin bag that became your choice of weapon that night.

Your husband glared at you and huffed, "Do we have to do this right now? You're acting like a crazy bitch when we are in PUBLIC!" He spoke the last part so loudly that people around you jumped in surprise before slowly trying to disperse in fear because they knew who you two were. How could they not? Everyone in the top social class knows all about the suave "businessman" and his wife who controlled not only the commodity trading market but also the government. Some people called Hongjoong a mafia but he called himself an entrepreneur. But at that moment, Kim Hongjoong was just a husband. Well, YOUR husband.

"You call me a crazy bitch one more time Kim Hongjoong and I will give you the beating your mother should've given you all those years ago," you huffed, challenging him. Hongjoong laughed sarcastically as he clapped his hands, "Oh I'm sorry your majesty, what would you prefer? Hot head? Lunatic? Psycho?"

It was a common knowledge around the people around you that you and your husband butt heads A LOT and neither one of you cared where you two were when an argument broke out. While some people were initially concerned, it was later revealed by the two of you that it was through arguing did you two fell in love with each other. So all the cussing and name calling and dragging ancestors and family members only amplified your passion for one another. Which was why Hongjoong felt the need to grab an antique vase from a display and smashed it to the ground.

Almost immediately, a person rushed over with his face all red and breath huffy. "Hey asshole, did you just smash that vase to the ground?" He had the audacity to ask and Hongjoong barely gave him a glance over with an eyebrow raised, "Yeah I did, so?" The answer only made the man frustrated because he suddenly waved over for the security guards stationed nearby to come before he glared at you two with his arms propped on his waist. "Are you fucking kidding me? That was a VERY expensive antique that my dad, the OWNER of this hotel got at an auction in London. Do any of you know what London is? Of course you don't what with your fake Birkin and cheap outfits. Go back to the dingy mannerless hole you're used to, filthy animals,"

The man whom you identified as the son of the hotel owner, which is ironically one of your husband's business partner as he had a share in the property, barely finished his words before he too got a good smack on his shoulder by your Birkin. As he recovered from the impact, he was met with your fiery glare and even with only one step forward, you seem to tower over the taller man in protection of your husband's honour. "Don't you fucking talk to my husband like that. Who the hell do you think you are?" The man glared at you and opened his mouth as he was about to answer, you beat him to it by slapping him across the face, "Think first and think well before you answer me, little boy, or I'll use your nutsack as a pin cushion." Seeing you so mad from seeing your husband being treated so disrespectfully by a Chad wannabe, Hongjoong sighed and tried to step in, "Honey, let's just go have that dinner, okay? He's not worth all the huffing and scolding," He put his hands on your shoulders gently but you turned around and pointed at him, your glare now directed at your husband. "Your nutsack is already mine by law Kim Hongjoong, don't make me exercise my legal rights," you warned.

All of the commotion and audience gathered (rather far away from the three of you because people were scared) managed to catch the attention of the Hotel Manager who jogged over with a smile on his face. "Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Kim, how are we doing?" it was a stupid question but one portraying his anxiety. You raised an eyebrow at him and nodded to the now silenced asshole, still recovering from being slapped by a stranger, "Do you know this little bitch?" you asked, the vulgarity of your language did not phase the Manager whatsoever.

"Little bitch? Who the fuck are you calling a-" he was about to grab you by the shoulder, taking advantage of your momentary shift of attention like the coward that he is. But before he could reach you, Hongjoong, having been trained in self-defense, easily grabbed the asshole's wrist and twisted it around before pushing him to the ground, causing him to scream in pain from the position. "Ow! What the fuck!? Let me go! Don't you know who my father is!?" the man screamed which only made Hongjoong smirk in something akin to satisfaction.

The manager stepped in close to Hongjoong, almost in a pleading way, "Mr. Kim, please excuse the young Mr. Son here, he doesn't really know any better and I will see to it that he will be educated on our esteemed patrons myself," he pleaded. You scoffed at him incredulously and your eyes rolled with annoyance, "Esteemed patron? My husband invested for the majority of the development project, my husband is not just an esteemed partner, my husband is the only person who can call himself the damn sultan of this place if he wanted to." "R-right, my apologies Mrs. Kim, I will educate myself and young Mr. Son here so would you please let him go so I can escort him out myself, Mr. Kim?" The manager added, reaching to grab the still whimpering man from Hongjoong's grasp.

Luckily, Hongjoong got bored from listening to his pathetic noises so he just let him go and stepped over him to stand next to you, allowing the Manager to immediately get the man up. "Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Kim, I hope you two have a pleasant evening and I will let the kitchen know to prepare you a special dessert. On me," the man said as he hurriedly ushered the now weeping boy off before he could face another round of your wrath.

"You know," Hongjoong smirked as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder, "You look so hot when you're defending your husband, Mrs. Kim," he said before he leaned to peck your cheek. You rolled your eyes in feigned annoyance but the satisfied smirk on your face completely gave your truth away as you wrapped an arm around Hongjoong's waist, "You better not doubt that your dear wife will defend your honour, Mr. Kim," you pointed out, kissing him back on the corner of his mouth.

"So can we do it in the ass?" he added.

Your smile hardened and Hongjoong got his first response when your elbow dug into his stomach, causing him to sputter. "You can take that offer and shove it up your own ass, fucking prick," you spat before you walk away to the restaurant by yourself, swaying your hips intentionally to make a point to your husband.

Though in pain, Hongjoong couldn't help but chuckle as he stared at you, feeling his heart thump when you turned around slightly to give him a once-over. People called him crazy for "letting" his "old lady" "disrespect" him like how "she always does" but what they could never understand was that the "disrespect" was your fire, and your fire was what tied Hongjoong to you. Your fire was what made him so addicted to you. And he had no plans on letting that go anytime soon.

networks :

@sandsofire @kflixnet @pirateeznet

permalist :

@kodzukein @phenomenalgirl9 @skzatzloveismonsterous @memorymonster @surveilenceysystem @dreamlesswonder86 @maddiebabyxoxo @imababywolf @do-you-actually-care @marievllr-abg @ilsedingsx @wasteitonserendipity @bbymatz @noonaishere @honeyhwaaa @ateezourstars @yoongiigolden @camillelafaye @charreddonuts @kpopnightingale @starryunho @atinct @mirror-juliet @hyuckilstan @jayb17 @kpoplover718 @haatohwa @x-bluee @erinaimeexx @blackb3ll @mingiholic @itasluv @vampcharxter @meowmeowminnie @marvelous-llama @kawennote09 @stopeatread

[weirdsht]

Hihihi hello!!! Hope ur doing well 🫶🏻

Cale n the co with someone who likes to give quick, gentle kisses? It can be platonic as well (sorry i kiss everything i like)—the kids, rosalyn, cage, hannah, their pillows, n many more. Like imagine kissing the kids' foreheads more than just few seconds and so sweetly bc they love their adorable little faces with big doe eyes so much-- I'm gonna cry so bad bro. I live for happiness w my unreal beloveds 🫂

Hershey’s - LoTCF & Gn! Reader

notes: I think 4+1 fics are becoming my go-to...

tags: gender neutral reader, sickfic at the end, fluff, kisses, platonic

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read navi)

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When you first worked with Cale everyone was immediately introduced to your… peculiar habit.

Kiss!

[Name] kissed Cale’s hand as a greeting.

“It’ll be my pleasure to work with you young master.”

“Is this how you greet everyone?”

Cale asked but he didn’t look uncomfortable. Unlike when Clopeh compliments him. Because unlike that lunatic, the young master could feel the respect in that peck.

“When it seems appropriate. I’ll refrain from doing it if you are uncomfortable.”

Yup, [Name] is a hundred times better than Clopeh. They can’t even be compared.

“No, it’s fine. I was just curious.”

“As long as the young master doesn’t mind then.”

+~+~+~+~+~+

It was a rare day when everyone was taking a day off. No one was training or anything. They have all collectively decided to laze around.

“[Name] tells us a bedtime story!”

Raon demands as he and the kittens lie down on Cale’s bed. The owner was rolling around the marble floors somewhere else.

“But it’s still midday? Why would you want a bedtime story now?”

[Name] tilts their head in confusion at the kid’s demand.

“Cale told us that anytime is a good time to sleep nya!”

Hong reasoned as he tapped his paw on the bed for emphasis.

“Fair enough. I’ll get a fairy tale book then.”

Two stories in and the children already looked drowsy. All of them are ready to take a nap. [Name] closed the book they were reading and leaned down to kiss each of the children’s foreheads.

“Sleep well, kids.”

After that, they demand [name] to tell them a bedtime story every night.

…it certainly wasn’t because the kiss felt nice.

…not at all.

+~+~+~+~+~+

“Thanks for training with me Choi Han!”

[Name] thanked the swordmaster. Only the two of them are in the plaza. Everyone else had already finished for the day but [name] asked Choi Han for extra training.

“No problem.”

Choi Han replies as he hands his friend a bottle of water to drink.

Together they sat in silence. Only the sound of the water being drank and the towel wiping their sweat could be heard.

“Come one, let’s go. We have to shower before Beacrox kicks our asses.”

[Name] chuckled as they offered their hand for Choi Han to grab. The black-haired man also laughs as he imagines the chef’s angry face.

Once they reached the door to [name]’s room they got on their tiptoe.

Kiss!

Then kissed Choi Han’s cheeks.

“Thanks again, Choi Han! I’ll treat you to something nice next time!”

With that, they enter their room leaving the poor man outside with a very red face.

“First time?”

Rosalyn laughs as she passes by the swordmaster.

Choi Han knows that it’s just the way [name] shows affection.

But still, he can’t help but feel embarrassed.

+~+~+~+~+~+

Sniff. Sniff.

On sniffed as she held back her tears. 

Why the tears one might ask?

She accidentally scraped her knee while running around in the Forest of Darkness. The sting from the wound hurts so bad that it makes her tear up.

“Oh no baby come here. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

[Name] picks the silver kitten up so they can clean the wound. Once they entered the room On was placed on the bed so they could get the first aid kit.

In no time, the kitten’s knee is all bandaged up.

“Are you hurt anywhere else?”

“No. Thank you [name].”

[Name] smiled brightly as they received On’s gratitude. They then leaned down and kissed the silver kitten’s bandaged knee.

“To make it heal faster.”

“Then… every time one of us gets hurt we can go to you to kiss it all better?”

On paws [name]’s face. They are now on their way back to meet up with everyone.

“Of course! But that right is exclusive for children. The grown-ups can handle themself.”

[Name] winks at On and both of them giggle as they walk.

Deep inside, On thinks she shouldn’t tell the rest of the kids about this privilege.

She feels like they would deliberately hurt themselves just to get a kiss.

+~+~+~+~+~+

[Name] was sick with a fever. They have been delirious and fading in and out of consciousness for 2 days now.

There’s not much they remember but they did retain the memory of a bunch of people kissing them.

Kiss!

“Get well soon.”

Rosalyn kissed the crown of their head as she wished them well.

Kiss!

“It’s hard seeing my sparring partner sick like this. Get better soon so we can spar.”

Choi Han kissed their hand with a promise of spar.

Kiss!

“I know you said it’s exclusive for children but maybe it’ll work on you too.”

On pats their head as she kissed their forehead.

Kiss!

“Get well soon [Name]! Because you're sick I’ll read you a bedtime story instead!”

Raon kissed their cheek before he started reading a children’s storybook.

…[name] genuinely doesn’t know anymore if their red face is from their fever or their kisses.

[alien-wooliee]

While doing my monthly rewatch of Hbomberguy's 4 hour plagiarism epic, there was one specific thing that stuck out to me- the idea of commentary youtube content farms. Like, we all know that content mills exist, right? But I think it's so interesting just how much of YouTube has been overtaken by vaguely right-wing chuds who post shitty and stupid documentaries on the current popular drama of the week.

They all have the exact same editing style- so much of the time they're just like "What happened to Scrinky Fuckbo?" With dramatic fade-ins and outs, all read out in a voice that sounds like someone trying to do a cartoon nerd impression. So much of the time, people just hop on and commentate about the current big thing, without adding anything unique to the table, and it's so, so boring.

So many times, these channels pick out random tweets with, like, 3 likes and 1 retweet, and say "These people are ATTACKING so and so!" in their titles and thumbnails, which always are so obnoxious to look at. The fact so many of these channels were a part of the anti-sjw crowd years ago also isn't lost on me- it's like they never really grew to believe in empathy, and simply see every situation as a way of making money while tossing the most ingenuous ivories the way of the people actually affected.

The amount of this content farm slop on YouTube is insane to me, and the fact that so many people get their big bucks from either commentary or 'video essays' that do the bare minimum research and get sponsors up the wazoo says a lot about how so much of the time, conservatives just want to constantly have their beliefs reinforced. I'm not saying I'm immune to this, either! I've found myself in a bit of an echo chamber that I'm trying to break out of, after all- but I feel like there's a difference between an echo chamber reaffirming the fact that capitalism destroys lives, and an echo chamber that reaffirms the idea that all trans people are insane lunatics who should be put down. Of course, I'm hyperbolizing somewhat here, but the idea still remains.

So many of these videos feel vaguely sinister as well- they all go over the 'personal flaws' of each person involved, and it just feels like they're vagueposting bigotry whenever it comes to something like a queer person. Take, for example, that infamous SunnyV2 video about Mr Beast, where he claims that Ava Kris Tyson being trans could tank his gains. You don't seriously think that, Sunny. You just wanna throw shade at a trans person for existing.

tl;dr I hate commentary youtube and the fact it always pushes these videos into my recommended feed.

[star-lights-up]

I'm having thoughts again (it's a very dangerous thing, thinking is): Cherik matilda au, with Jean as matilda. Honestly, it'd probably be a jean-centric fic, background cherik, because i mean miss honey doesn't have a love interest in the original lol. (Oh, right, Charles = miss honey. Erik also kind of = miss honey. they're sharing the role.)

ALSO i'm basing this on the book and the original movie, not the musical and musical movies. I love all incarnations of matilda but I am too tired to work in the whole premonition story thing.

So Jean is just chilling. She's like two years old and already she can cook and clean and pretty much be self sufficient. Her parents are self-absorbed assholes who don't really pay her any mind, and her brother is a little shit who's older than her and never home anyways.

She goes to the library, and she reads. She expands her horizons. She learns. She develops a yearning to see the world outside of her lonely little life -- she may be self-sufficient, but it doesn't mean she doesn't want any friends.

Now, when she's six, she tells her parents that she really should've started school already, and her dad makes a deal with this terrifying man to send her off to Hellfire Elementary (sounds like a great place for kids, amiright?)

There she meets Ororo, who's funny and nice, and then there's Logan, this older kid who's absolutely TERRIFYING (at least he thinks he is, jean's calling his bs). He warns them about the headmaster -- Shaw. The truly terrifying one.

Shaw in this isn't really the kevin bacon shaw. He's like if shaw lost his fucking marbles and became a really buff lunatic. He throws a girl wearing her hair in pigtails over the fence. It's insane.

Then Jean goes to her class. The first years have two teachers -- Mr. Lehnsherr and Mr. Xavier, who tells them just to call him Charles as long as Shaw's not around.

The classroom is kind of amazing. They've got art by students hanging everywhere and cute little posters and vases of wildflowers, the doors opened to the school grounds and filtering in the last of the warm summer air. To Jean, it feels magical. She's finally at school. She finally feels like she's going to get to be in the world. She chats with Ororo and some kid named Scott before the bell rings.

(Now for teaching duo cherik! I'm thinking for them, this is an established relationship fic. )

They've both been hurt by shaw (more on that later) to the point where they've become more muted versions of their personalities.

Charles is kind, as he always is, but in this he's very soft-spoken and stuff. Even as he smiles warmly at the kids, checking on the girl with the pigtails, Jean notices this deep sadness in his eyes.

And then there's Erik. He's quiet, very matter-of-fact when he does speak up, methodical. He's very gentle with all of the children, though, and Jean sees him tracking Charles with his eyes, as though he's sure something awful will happen to him as soon as he lets him out of his sight. Again, his eyes hold some deep sadness, some hidden pain.

As the lessons begin, they're shocked by Jean. Her reading, her writing. Her incredible math abilities.

( found this cute little line from the original book, and i wanted to adapt it (very erik-core):

"It's not fair," Ororo says, "How can she do it and we can't?"

"Don't worry, Ororo, you'll soon catch up," Mr. Lehnsherr says, lying through his teeth. )

After class is over, Charles wants to talk to Shaw, try and get Jean in a more advanced grade. Erik doesn't want him to go. They go together, and Shaw pretty much yells at them and threatens them until they leave.

They decide to think of another way to go -- they can't have jean just sitting in class, learning how to spell r-a-t when she's read shakespeare already.

Back at home, for another week or so, Jean's life continues much the same as it always does. Her parents: the assholes. Then her father takes her and her brother into work one day, telling his son he needs to learn the family trade. Jean's just there.

He shows them all sorts of illegal things he does to the cars before he sells them -- sawdust in the engine, running the miles backwards until the car seems barely used. It's not legal. Worse, it's not safe.

Jean speaks out and gets yelled at.

So she finds some superglue and glues his stupid hat to his head the next day. And so starts her rebellion.

Charles and Erik decide that perhaps it's best to speak to Jean's parents directly. Cue creepy CGI cherik from the last stand. No, no, I'm kidding. They just show up there, try to talk to the greys, who really aren't having it, and before they leave Erik sneaks a book behind a coat rack, Jean smiling at him from where she's hidden on the stairwell, having listened to the whole thing.

Jean plays another prank on her parents for treating her teachers so bad (blabbermouth parrot in the chimney. Mrs. Grey is convinced they've got a ghost).

Meanwhile, at school, Charles and Mr. Lehnsherr give her all these workbooks with more difficult math and language and science, apologizing that they can't instruct her directly or get her into a more advanced class but promising to help if she has any questions (she doesn't).

Anyways. Then we get to the interesting part.

It's been a while, and Jean's seen the horrors of Shaw. He made a boy eat a whole cake in front of the school. he throws kids out windows. And there's this terrible thing called the chokey.

Shaw comes into their classroom to teach his monthly class -- Charles and Mr. Lehnsherr quickly hiding all the art and decorations in the room.

Ororo sneaks a newt into shaw's water. Pandemonium breaks out. Shaw starts targeting poor scott, of all people, who's not capable of breaking a rule.

Something in Jean snaps. And the glass tips over, sending the newt right onto shaw and shaw right out of their classroom.

After class, she explains it to Charles and Mr. Lehnsherr. She shows them what she can do. With just a little bit of anger, she can push the glass over.

The two teachers glance at each other (after being quite shocked, of course), then Charles asks if she'd like to have tea, and talk about this more, if her parents wouldn't mind.

Jean knows that they most certainly don't care where she is, and agrees.

Charles and Mr. Lehnsherr bring her to a small cottage, surrounded by wildflowers. The walls are whitewashed. There are two little windows. Charles spreads cheap margarine on the toast. Mr. Lehnsherr pulls two chipped mugs out -- there doesn't appear to be a third. The kitchen is just a shelf, really, with a little portable stove.

Charles asks Jean if she'd be willing to get them some water from the well out back. She has a wonderful time doing so, never having drawn from a well before.

She and Charles have tea and toast, sitting on the crates that are the only furniture in the whole of the tiny cottage. Mr. Lehnsherr sits cross-legged on the floor, leaning against Charles's crate a little and not eating or drinking anything.

Jean, as a small child -- because, yes, no matter how smart and independent she is, she's still a small child -- asks a few questions that might be a little too personal, inquiring about just how poor their salaries are to live like this.

"Why shouldn't you ask?" Charles says, after Jean apologizes. "You were bound to ask in the end. You are much to bright to not have wondered. Perhaps... Perhaps we even wanted you to ask."

Erik nods his head, saying his solemn voice, "You're our first visitor, after all."

Quietly, a little sadly, Charles begins to tell Jean a story. He once lived in a large brick house in town. His mother passed when he was born, and his father was absent until he died, leaving him in the care of an uncle. The uncle brought with him a ward, Erik.

The uncle was an unkind man. He forced them to work around the clock, doing the household chores and the cooking and anything else he could think of, like they were servants and not young children. He would beat them if they disobeyed -- and even when they didn't.

They managed to go to the teacher's college about forty minutes away when they both turned eighteen. They could've gone to university -- but the evil man wouldn't allow it.

"How did you get away?" Jean asks, equally riveted and in deep sympathy for her kind teachers.

They tell a story of being forced to sign away their salaries to the uncle, since apparently they "owed him thousands" for being just barely fed and clothed for ten years. With the little that they got to keep, it seemed they would never get a place of their own...

But Mr. Lehnsherr, on his early morning walks, stumbled into a small, empty cottage. He went to find out who owned it, and the farmer, after insisting he didn't want to live there, agreed to rent it out for ten pence a month.

Charles and Mr. Lehnsherr (who, at a point, sighed and told Jean just to call him Erik since they're not at school) quietly packed their things, informed the evil man that they'd rented a house, and rushed out the door.

While Jean is happy for their triumph, she's aghast of the idea of the evil man still living in Charles's old home. He says that his father's will was apparently destroyed ("no prizes for guessing who," Jean says, and Erik huffs a laugh) and his uncle produced a piece of paper saying the house was to go to him -- Charles is sure it was counterfeit, but there's nothing he can do.

"He still owns my family property a town over, too," Erik says quietly. "Won in much the same fashion." His hands are balled into fists, his face mournful and angry. He doesn't elaborate, and Jean and Charles are smart enough not to push.

Jean asks who the evil man is.

With a glance at his partner, Charles says the name "Shaw."

After the initial shock, the conversation changes, and Jean eventually excuses herself to go home. Charles and Erik apologize for keeping her so late, walking her to the end of the dirt road and back to the sidewalk.

Before they part, Jean asks a few questions: what did Charles's father call him before he passed? Charlie. He hated it. What did charles and Erik's parents call Shaw? Sebastian. His first name. And what did he call their parents? Brian, Charles answers. ...Edie, Erik whispers after a moment of hesitation.

Jean practices her new gift at home. It's not long until she can lift things at whim, pointing at them or staring at them or just thinking of it. She plots. She plans. She practices what's needed for her plots and her plans.

The next time Shaw comes into their classroom, he's startled by the whiteboard chalk floating into the air, beginning to write a message:

Sebastian, give my Charlie back his house. Give him and Erik their wages. Give Erik his land. Then get out of here. If you don't, we will get you. We will get you like you got us. We are watching you, Sebastian.

There is a great commotion as Shaw passes out on the floor in shock. He's carted out of the school. He leaves the brick house within a day. Reportedly, Brian Xavier's will turns up. Charles and Erik move into the great house. Charles is appointed headmaster of the newly christened "Big Friendly School." (Note: this is taken from the source material. I don't think charles would name something after himself in this au tbh). Jean is a welcome visitor anytime.

Then, one day, arriving back from the brick house in the evening, she finds her parents packing up the car. They're moving to spain, they say. Her father has been caught, which they don't say, but is clear.

Jean runs all the way back to Charles and Erik's house. Jean begs them to let her stay -- she doesn't want to leave, and she certainly doesn't want to be trapped with her parents forever in a foreign country.

Charles and Erik come with her back to her house. She takes some adoption papers out, which, funnily enough, she's had since she was tall enough to use the copier at the library! Boss move, Jean.

her parents don't fucking care, so they sign the papers. Charles and Erik are pretty much about to cry. They're parents, now, something they never thought they could be. They hug Jean, something her own parents never did, and don't bother to watch them leave.

Now, they all live in the big brick house together, and it's a house full of reading and laughter and life, all three of them, daughter and her fathers, finding a kind of happiness they never thought they'd be able to have.

and that's it. Why did I spend two hours writing this. 😂

[t-r99]

Obsessed

Oliver loves you so much, why can't you see that?

Oliver Aiku x fem reader

College au

Aiku is lowkey a lunatic (completey delusional & unhinged)

warnings: stalking, mental torture, manipulation, deception, gaslightning, coercion || anxiety, paranoia, brief panic attack || dub con bordering on non con (blink and you miss it brief and tame smut at the end *whispers* spooning)

This was supposed to be pure porn but I changed my mind. It did not turn out the way I wanted.

Quick background: mc is being stalked by someone who keeps texting and sending pictures and has been for weeks.

Given that this is a blue lock fic, all of readers friends are guys heh.

wc: 10k

God, why did I stay so long? You think. You usually don't stay at the library for this long, preferring to quickly find the books you need in the moment then leave.

Staying this long means you'll walk home well after sunset. Hours after sunset means it's dark. Darkness means it's easier to follow people. Following someone walking alone means-

I'm overthinking again. You sigh.

This is torture.

It's been a few days since the last text you received. You can't help but to open your phone several times a day and read all the shit the person has sent in the past few weeks, hoping to figure out who they are.

It feels like you're being watched.

You take in every last little detail of your surroundings.

A few people are out and walking who knows where, some of them familiar. You've seen them at school.

Almost home, You tell yourself. The apartment building you call home is less than a minute away.

You turn to look behind you, but no one is following you like you thought . . . and it feels like you're going crazy.

At this point, you expect a text from another unknown ID welcoming you home. The guy on the other side does it sometimes. It's bad enough that he knows which building you live in, you just hope he doesn't know which apartment is yours. You may as well dig your own grave if he does.

The elevator feels suffocating when you step in. You're alone but you keep expecting it to stop before it reaches your floor and that someone else will step in.

What if he steps in? What if you end up alone in this tiny little box with your worst nightmare and-

Ding.

You gasp at the sound, only staying still for a half a second before stepping out.

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. What if he's is behind you? What if he's waiting for you to open the door so he can push you in and trap you?

You turn around, heart pounding.

There's no one there.

Just as you unlock your door, another opens a few steps away and you hear familiar voices. Out of the other apartment steps Aiku, and then you see Otoya, they're saying bye for tonight. It's the latter's apartment, you remember.

Aiku spots you but you look away and ignore him. You know them both, not that you particularly like them or enjoy their company, it's just that you share the same friends. You almost wish you were actually being followed for a second so Otoya and Aiku could beat the guy senseless.

Otoya pops his head out the doorframe and asks if you're okay when he sees that you're stressed.

Ignoring them both, you step inside and close the door behind you.

Home.

You're home.

I'm home, You tell yourself, repeating it iver and over for a few seconds.

There's a knock on the door and your heart almost leaps out of your chest.

It's him, it's him, it's him, it's hi-

You hear a familiar voice call your name, followed by, "Everything okay?" It's Aiku.

You gulp and take a deep breath before cracking the door just enough to see his face. Otoya is standing behind him and asks, "Something happen?"

"I'm fine, I," You gulp again, feeling lightheaded. "I just need some rest."

"Sure?" Aiku asks. "You look a bit pale."

"I'm fine, I promise." You insist. "I'm going to bed."

"'kaaay," Otoya gives a peace sign. "night."

You close the door and take a moment to try to calm yourself.

*

Outside, Otoya strains to not laugh out loud. He can't help it, though, forced to slap a hand against his mouth to muffle the sound of his amused giggling.

Aiku hushes him and smirks. "Shut up, you'll ruin everything." He says.

"Seriously, dude, why do you even bother at this point?"

Who knows? Maybe Oliver has gotten a bit obsessed. He won't give up until he gets what he wants, and he wants you.

Aiku doesn't just want sex. He wants you.

"It'll be worth it." He says.

Sure, you don't want him yet, but you will soon.

*

You feel a bit better after a long and warm shower, not a lot, but at least it's something.

You haven't eaten. Honestly, you can't find it in you to eat these days. Sometimes two or even three days will pass before you realize you're starving. You've been losing weight for weeks, and looking in the mirror now you see just how much it has affected you.

Aiku was right, you're pale.

Look at me. You feel disgusted by the sight.

It takes you a few moments to force yourself to look away and leave the bathroom to go get dressed. Despite living several floors above the ground, with no buildings facing your bedroom window, you still feel the need to pull the curtain to hide.

What if he is watching? It's impossible to know.

You quickly get dressed, not comfortable with being naked even in your own bedroom with the windows covered, and then it happens again.

Two quick vibrations, the sound of a text, make your heart stop for a second.

Again, two vibrations.

Another two . . .

That's three texts.

Your hand shakes as you reach out for the phone that you honestly just want to smash up. You want to throw away all your electronics and find a cave out in the wilderness to hide in so no one will ever be able to contact you again.

The first one says exactly what you expect, Welcome home.

He was watching you walk home.

You shouldn't be out alone in the dark, it's dangerous. The second text is almost funny.

The third makes your blood run cold, Don't worry. I'll protect you.

When will this end?

While you're holding the phone, he sends a picture. This is the fourth time he's done this exact thing, having written, I don't know where you live. Maybe I should come in and knock on every door until I find yours.

It's a picture of the entrance to the building.

There's a knock on your apartment door.

. . . No.

You dare not move.

Should you look through the peephole? What if it's him and you finally get to see who it is? It could be someone you know, or maybe a complete stranger.

Another knock.

Go away. You want to scream. You want to yell at him to leave you alone.

No more knocks follow.

You don't know how long you stand frozen in your spot, taking slow breaths and standing as still and as quietly as you can.

Only when your feet hurt from standing there for so long do you finally snap out of it. You take your phone and set it to airplane mode, and you lock yourself in the bathroom.

There you remain until morning.

Of course you don't sleep.

You think about calling a friend to come over so you won't have to walk to school alone, or maybe you should just skip today and stay home.

Please . . . You curl up in the corner and sob. I can't take it anymore.

It feels like an eternity has passed when you leave the bathroom.

Staying home felt like the best thing to do. At least he doesn't know which apartment is yours so you can just stay in and not go out where he can spot and follow you again.

Your phone is still on airplane mode and you contemplate turning the function off. Will you only find texts from your friends asking why you didn't show up today or will you get more messages from him?

I'm hungry. You didn't eat last night.

There's very little in your kitchen and your heart sinks when you realize you have to go get some groceries soon.

There's a knock . . .

You gasp at the sound and turn to look at the door. It's the middle of the day so there's no way it's him. He only fucks with you after dark so-

Another knock.

You faintly hear someone call your name. "It's Otoya, you okay in there?"

That's a relief.

The front door cracks open and you look up at him. Otoya rarely shows much emotion on his face but you actually see some worry in his eyes. "Everything okay? You didn't show up at school."

You gulp. "I don't . . . feel very well." Your voice is hoarse and your throat feels rough, itching as you speak.

"I noticed last night. I just wanted to make sure you were all right so I knocked but you didn't answer."

Oh, it was him? It was just Otoya, not the guy on the other end of the phone. "Sorry," You say quietly. "I must've fallen asleep." You lie.

"No worries. Just come over if you ever need anything, yeah?"

"Yeah." You murmur. "Thanks."

You wonder just how messed up you look if it's enough to make Otoya of all people worry.

I'm going crazy. You close the door and sniffle, eyes welling with tears.

A few quiet days pass and it is actually nerve wracking. Normally you would be happy, no texts, no paranoia and the feeling of being watched, but after those texts and the picture of the building entrance you just can't relax.

It feels like the calm before the storm.

You can't shake off the feeling that you're being watched everywhere you go, on campus, on the road, sometimes even when you're at home, feeling the need to check every inch of the apartment multiple times a day to make sure you're actually alone.

"You okay? You've been staring at the textbook forever." Chigiri's voice pulls you from your thoughts.

"Hm?"

He looks worried. Everyone has been worried about you lately, it makes you feel hopeless and pathetic. "More stalker texts?"

You shake your head. "Not for a few days." Your voice is small, heavy with sleep deprivation. "But everytime someone calls or texts or," Just talking about this makes you nauseous. "whenever someone knocks on my door I don't know what to think."

Before Chigiri can say anything else, a few of the other guys show up. Isagi comes and reminds him that they have training soon.

Why does it feel like all eyes are on you?

You're uncomfortable.

"I think I'll go home." You say. Before it gets dark.

"Sure you'll be okay on your own?" Chigiri asks.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fine." You clear your throat and close your textbook. "I'm fine." You insist.

Keeping your gaze down, you ignore everyone and mutter a quick bye, missing the way a pair of dual coloured eyes watch you walk away.

Thank goodness that the sun is still high in the sky as you walk home.

Is this to be your new normal? Are you supposed to live the rest of your life in a constant state of panic?

Still no texts. No creepy pictures of your building. No knocking on the door. To be fair, it was Otoya, not some creepy lunatic of a stalker.

You sit down on your bed with a defeated sigh then fall back.

"I hate this." You whisper.

It's been a week since the night you spent terrified in the bathroom. He has still not sent anything, and for once you're actually in a better mood. Maybe he got bored of me, You think, and you truly hope that that's the case.

The days are growing shorter and colder. Winter is right around the corner and you wonder how you'll feel once it starts getting dark outside earlier. Your mind drifts back to the text that said, You shouldn't be out alone in the dark, it's dangerous.

Yeah, it can be dangerous alright. You haven't felt safe in a long time thanks to the bastard.

You're getting ready to eat, reaching up to the cabinet to grab a plate when there's a knock on the door.

Is it him?

Fuck, what if it is?

No, nothing has happened lately, You tell yourself.

More knocking . . .

You set the plate down on the counter and go to the door, wondering if it's one of your friends. Quite a few of them live in the same building, cheap and close to campus.

Upon opening the door, you find that there's no one there.

Oh, God . . .

Fuck. Shit, shit, fuck.

Your phone vibrates and the sound makes you jump.

You don't want to check it.

No.

Damn it.

When will this stop?

*

It's kind of funny. Otoya peers over Aiku's shoulder and cracks up. "Dude, you'll end up giving the chick a heart attack one day."

What Oliver wants is to be there when you need someone and be the one you lean on for emotional support. He'll have you depending on him in no time. "Hey, you told her to come over if she needs help, right?"

"Uh huh."

Aiku hopes you'll do it now. He's going at this pretty hard and doubts you'll stay alone in your apartment when you think your stalker is in the building. Everyone you know in the building live on other floors while Otoya's apartment is the only one close to yours. Come on, doll, don't disappoint me now.

Oliver wants to jump and pump his fist in success when he hears a knock on Otoya's door. He stays on the couch while his friend goes to open, hearing him say, "Hey, you okay?"

Aiku gets off the couch and goes to the hall where you're standing right outside. You're trying to keep yourself calm but he can see panic in your eyes, those beautiful eyes that should be on him and only him. "Have, uhm . . ." You close your eyes and take a deep breath. "Have you heard anyone outside?"

"No, why?" Otoya feigns ignorance. "Are you sure you're okay? You're shaking."

Oliver almost feels bad, but he just needs to make sure his plan works. If everything ends up working out then he's only a few days away from being able to call you his and hold and comfort you. "Stalker again?" He asks.

Aiku doesn't like using that word. It makes him feel like a creep. He's not a creep, he just wants you to be his but you're not making it easy for him.

Your only reply is a small nod.

Otoya steps aside. "Okay, come on. Come in." He urges you to step inside and you're more than happy to. "What happened this time? Did he text again?"

"I- I think he . . . I think he's i- in the building."

Oh, you poor thing.

Oliver tells you to sit down on the couch. You're holding your phone, clutching it tightly.

He doesn't need to give Otoya a look that silently asks him to help out. His friend already knows what to do while Oliver talks to you and tries to calm you down.

Your mind is racing with a million questions, but it goes blank when your phone vibrates in your hand and you look down at it in terror, too scared to check the text.

Oliver looks down at it. "Here, let me." He offers. Your hand is shaking when he takes it from you. "It's okay, I got you." He takes your hand in his and rubs soothing circles on the back. What did Otoya text, he wonders.

Aiku wants to laugh when he reads it. It includes the number of Otoya's apartment, followed by, Is this your place? I can hear your pretty voice coming from inside.

Damn, he really couldn't have asked for a better bro.

"What . . . What does . . ."

Oliver hushes you gently and locks the phone instead of showing you. "It's okay, we'll deal with the guy."

Otoya steps behind the couch. "What's up?"

"You want to check if there's anyone in the hall?" Oliver asks. He's still holding your hand.

"I got it." Otoya gives a thumbs up and heads out. You want to tell him to stay inside, scared that the stalker might be dangerous, but your voice gets caught in your throat.

"Hey, it's okay." Oliver says softly. "Everything will be okay." He lets go of your hand and puts his arm around you instead when you exhale shakily and sob hopelessly.

You're just tired at this point. The past several weeks have left you so paranoid and terrified that you can't sleep. You don't eat, barely drink, you struggle to take care of yourself. It's beyond tiring. "I'm scared . . ." You whisper.

Oliver holds you close. He feels all warm inside like this, loving the feeling of your smaller body in his embrace like he's wanted for so long. He looks down at where your cheek is pressed against his chest and put his other arm around you comfortingly.

You're his.

You don't know it yet but you are his.

*

I fell asleep . . . Your eyes flutter partially open. You wonder when you did, and how you even managed to given how scared you were. How scared you still are.

A pair of arms are around you. You open your eyes further and see that you're in an apartment you don't recognize, then you look up and see that you're being held by a sleeping Aiku, and you remember that you're in Otoya's apartment.

You don't exactly dislike the two, it's just that you don't like their womanizing and their attitudes. Who would have ever thought that you would go to Otoya's place in a panic and be comforted by Aiku of all people?

Oliver wakes up when you move in his arms. "Hey," He clears his throat and blinks. "Hey, you feel any better?"

A tiny bit maybe. "I guess." You say in a small voice. You still don't want to go back to your own apartment where you'll just end up hiding in the bathroom at the sound of your phone receiving a text or a knock on your door.

Aiku can easily see that you're still shaken up and he hopes you'll let him hold you like this even longer.

You exhale shakily. "I don't want to be alone . . ."

"You're not alone, I got you." He rubs your back gently.

It feels nice . . . "Thank you." You whisper, relaxing further against him.

Oliver bites his bottom lip and smiles. You're starting to warm up to him, it's perfect.

It's been a few days and you can't stop thinking about that night. Otoya didn't find anyone in the hallway so you still have no idea who he is, but the one thing you can't stop thinking about is how comforting it was to be held by Aiku.

You feel ridiculous for it, even more so whenever you see him and feel your cheeks heat up.

He asks how you're doing everyday now and if anything else has happened since that night.

It's embarrassing how you almost immediately relaxed so much you actually fell asleep in his arms back then and it makes you want to avoid him.

Oliver hates that. He was so happy to have finally managed to push you to him for support, but now you don't talk to him other than short answers where you tell him you're doing okay whenever he asks, and he can't stand it.

He hates having to scare you so much. Why are you being so stubborn? Why do you try to hide how much it affects you? All you're doing is forcing his hand at this point. Why won't you just let him in?

He contemplates sending a text or two or maybe a picture of your apartment building. Those don't usually do much, though. Aiku exhales heavily as he tries to think of something more effective.

The door knocking was enough to get you to go to Otoya's apartment, but no more than that.

What to do? What to do?

Oliver doesn't want to threaten you. He doesn't want to scare you like that. You're his special girl, after all.

What to do?

*

It's gotten dark, You think grimly.

Classes are done for the day and now you're forced to walk home in the dark. The boys have training in a bit so you can't walk back to the student apartments with any of them, and all your other friends live in the opposite direction. It would be rude to ask someone to accompany you home and in turn force them to walk twice as far back to their own place.

Damn bastard.

Your phone vibrates in your pocket and you pick it up.

The colour drains from your face when you unlock it and open the text you've received, a picture of you right this moment.

The picture has been taken from your left. You turn in a flash to see if you can spot the stalker, but you only see your peers. Some are standing in groups and talking to their friends, others are looking down at their phones as they're leaving for the day.

Who is it?

Who could it be?

Where is he?

"Hey,"

You spin around with a sharp gasp at the feeling of someone touching your arm.

"Shit, did something happen?" It's just Aiku. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He steps back to give you space. "What happened?"

You're breathing too fast for comfort now, unable to speak. All you manage to do is point in the direction behind you and look down at your phone.

"Again? What the hell does the guy want now? Show me."

Hands shaking, you take a moment to unlock your phone and open your texts. Aiku takes your phone and reads the message from the No Caller ID that says, You look really good today. He open the picture and takes a sharp breath.

"Sick fuck." He spits. "Hey, don't look down at it. Look at me." He holds your shoulder. "Look at me. It's okay, I'm right here. You're not alone now, okay?"

You're not alone.

Aiku is with you right now and that brings you comfort.

"'m scared . . ."

"I know," He says softly. "I know. Everything will be okay, we'll figure out who the guy is."

You've lost any hope of that happening.

"Hey, come on, I'll walk you home, yeah?"

You gulp. "B- But . . . practice . . ."

"It's fine. I can skip this one time. You shouldn't be alone right now."

You only nod at that, grateful to not be on your own. Having Aiku walk next you makes you feel safer than you have in months, but you honestly feel guilty about all this and want to apologize for having go through all this trouble just because you're too scared to do anything on your own.

"How you holdin' up?"

You look down at the ground as you keep walking. "I'm sorry."

"Huh?" Oliver turns to you. "What for?"

"For . . . all this."

Why are you apologizing? You have nothing to be sorry for. "What, for being scared?" Aiku asks. "For needing help? I'd be surprised if you weren't scared. Everyone needs support sometimes, it's nothing to be ashamed of."

You're fighting back tears. "But I . . . I- I shouldn't need to be walked home like this."

Oliver frowns at that. Does that mean you don't want him there? You're really not making this easy for him. "It's okay, I don't mind."

You finally look up and turn to him, eyes glossy with unshed tears. Aiku wonders if you'll let him wipe them from your cheeks if they fall. He would love nothing more than to comfort you like a man and hold you close. He can't even begin to imagine how good it would feel.

When you turn away from him to look ahead again, Oliver carefully takes his phone and does his utmost to make sure you don't spot it.

He sets his caller ID to hidden and types away . . .

You're startled by the feeling of your phone vibrating. You've grown to hate it. Most of the time it signals a text from a hidden number from your nightmares.

You read the text. It sends chills down your spine. Got a boyfriend, huh? Did you forget about me, sweetheart? It says.

You freeze in your tracks and Aiku stops a step later.

"You good?"

No. No you're not.

You simply hold the screen out for him to read. Aiku puts a hand on your shoulder and pulls you closer to him. You look up at his hard face, he's looking all around you. "Damn psycho." He mutters harshly. "Come on, let's hurry."

He doesn't need to tell you twice.

Terrified out of your mind, you reach both hands out and hold his arm for safety. It's not much, but it does make you feel a bit better.

Oliver swears his heart skips a few beats at that. He has to use all his strength to restrain himself. Fuck, you're killing him with how long this is taking.

He stays by your side all the way up to your apartment, and there you find it impossible to let go of his arm. "Will you be okay from now on?"

Of course you won't. You shake your head in reply.

"You know," He feels warm. "I could stay over and make sure nothing happens until tomorrow. And Otoya will go home soon enough, I'll call for him if something does happen."

You really don't want to be alone. "I . . . You don't have to."

Sure, you might be saying that, but your body leans even closer against his and you let out a shaky breath.

"I'm staying." Oliver says. It's not a question. "I can't leave when you're this shaken up."

Maybe Aiku can finally scare the stalker away. "Okay . . ." You truly hope he can because this is getting ridiculous and you're exhausted.

Once he's inside, Oliver wants to yell out in triumph at how easy it was to get you to agree. Only a few more days and he won't have to keep at it. All you need to do is let him all the way in and he can put the whole thing to rest and enjoy you.

Your apartment is cute, just like you are. Oliver could stay here forever, and if his plan succeeds then he might just be able to.

*

Oliver decides not to send anything for now. He hates scaring you so much, and you were pretty shaken up on the walk to your apartment. It wouldn't hurt to prepare in advance, though.

You're currently taking a quick shower.

Aiku steps into your bedroom and takes a deep breath. He's never felt like this before.

He listens carefully to make sure the shower is still on.

Only a few minutes later, you step out of the bathroom with no idea of where Oliver went just minutes prior. He's still on the sofa and watching tv, just as he was when you left to shower.

Strangely enough, you don't feel uncomfortable with him there. Only a few months ago you would have rather drank acid than let him into your home, but now his presence puts you at ease.

He notices you and offers a smile. "Feel any better?"

"Yeah, a bit." You say softly.

Oliver exhales slowly when you turn around to go to the kitchen. You really are the prettiest girl he's ever seen. He can't stop thinking about what you look like under your clothes and how pretty you would luck under him.

You're his beautiful girl. He's counting the seconds to when he can finally say it outloud.

"Do you want anything to eat or drink?" You ask.

"Nah, I'm fine." Oliver shakes his head.

What he wants is you.

Earlier, he decided to give you a few days of peace, but now he wants to send only one text. If you get anxious again then he can be there and hold you and help you calm down.

You drink some water and take a moment to think about everything. You're lucky to have friends who care, even when you insist you're okay on your own. Even Aiku of all people is going out of his way to make sure you're not alone.

It's actually not as awkward as you thought it would be. He doesn't annoy or pester you with endless questions, instead talking to you about other things in an effort to get your mind off things.

It works, for some time.

"Are you sure about staying? I feel like I'm just inconveniencing you."

Once again, Oliver thinks you don't want him there and he feels like he's been punched in the gut. "If it helps you feel any safer, I'm more than happy to." He says. Oliver won't let you push him away now that he's so close to getting what he wants.

It's getting late.

You've brought a pillow and covers for him sleep on the sofa, and for the third time today your phone receives a text from a hidden caller ID.

It's a short text that reads, Good night, pretty girl. Sweet dreams.

Oliver frowns next to you when you tense up. "What is it? Show me."

When will it end?

He takes your phone from you and set it down on the table in front of the sofa. "The guy better pray I never find him." He mutters quietly. "Okay, c'mere, I got you." He puts an arm around your shoulders and pulls you close.

You're even more grateful to have him there now. If you were alone you would probably lock yourself in the bathroom and cry your eyes out again. "I can't take it anymore . . ." You whimper into his chest.

Oliver hushes you softly and puts his hand on the back of your head. He leans back against the sofa and pulls you with him, now rubbing your back soothingly. It feels so good to hold you like this, he can't get enough of it.

This feels oddly calming.

Like this, all you hear is the sound of his steady heartbeat. It's soothing, helping you relax with each soft thump.

You finally manage to slow your breathing down and sigh, going limp against him. "Thank you . . ."

Oliver smiles down at you and combs his fingers through your soft hair. "Close your eyes," He says softly. "I got you."

You wake up the next morning and find that you're still in Oliver's arms. He has pulled the covers over you and is awake, running his fingers through your hair.

When he notices that you've woken up, he smiles softly. "Hey there, how do you feel?"

You want to die.

Death would be preferable to being constantly watched by some lunatic out there.

You close your eyes again. "I'm tired." You whisper. Tired of being scared, tired of constantly looking over your shoulder, tired of feeling helpless.

"Sleep well?"

The feeling of him playing with your hair is a nice one. It's weird to see such a soft side of Aiku when you've known him for a while and seen his goofier side with your shared friends. "Yeah," You mumble. "thank you."

Oliver is loving this.

Strangely enough, the following several days are quiet.

Neither of you actually agreed to it outloud, but Aiku now accompanies you on your walk home from campus everyday and it becomes a routine. If he's busy with practice or has classes after yours have all ended then you wait, and it feels nice to have him walk by your side.

You get suspicious when you don't receive any texts from the stalker, wondering when he'll send you something again and what the text will say. Ever since Oliver stayed over that night it's been radio silence.

Your friends are just as confused by the lack of texts and a few are hopeful that it means the stalker just grew tired of tormenting you, the rest are worried about what he'll send in the future.

"Bitch ass." You mumble to yourself. You hate the guy more than anything and you wish the worst for him.

It's the weekend and you've been studying ever since you came home from school.

Your phone vibrates next to you but it's not from the stalker, it's Oliver calling you.

Never in a million years would you have ever thought that seeing Aiku's contact calling you would make you feel all warm inside.

He's asking how you're doing and if everything's okay.

"Everything's fine," You say. "I try not to think about all that now that it's quiet."

"Fucking finally. Let's just hope nothing happens."

"Yeah." You sigh. "I think I'll go to bed, I'm getting tired. Thank you for being there."

"You don't need to thank me, doll, I'm happy to help." Oliver says. "I didn't want to bother by coming over, but I'm at Sendou's and getting ready to leave. He lives two floors below you."

While he talks, your phone quickly vibrates in your hand and you quickly set it on speaker to check the text you've received. It makes you jump in your seat and quickly turn around to look around in the room.

Oliver hears you shuffling around as you stand up and storm out of your bedroom to turn all the lights in your apartment. He asks if you're okay but you don't hear his voice in this state.

He is there.

He's there, he's in there, he's in your apartment.

He's watching you, you can feel it.

It feels like he'll pop out and grab you any second now.

I can't breathe. Your head feels light, like everything is spinning. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

You drop your phone and try to reach the door instead. You can't stay in there, not when he is in the apartment and watching you.

Suddenly there's loud knocking on your door and you almost scream when the sound startles you.

Is he outside or inside right now? Is he in the apartment or knocking on the door to get in?

Where is he? Where?

You hear your name being called.

The voice is familiar.

It takes you a few seconds to find the strength to stand up and reach the door, your hands shaking as you try to unlock it.

A few seconds pass and you look behind you, vision blurry and cheeks wet with tears.

There's no one behind you.

Where is he?

Finally unlocking the door, you fling it open and find Aiku and Sendou standing outside and looking worried. Oliver reaches out to hold your shoulders but you step forward instead and cling to him as your legs go weak and give out.

"Hey, hey, what happened? What's going on?" Oliver quickly asks. "What's wrong?"

"H- Here . . . Here . . . He- He's here . . ." You can't breathe. You can't breathe.

Oliver hold you close and hushes you by your ear.

You hear Sendou walking down the hall and knock on a door. It opens, Otoya, and Sendou tells him to follow. They enter your apartment while Oliver sits down on the hallway floor with you in his arms. "Easy now, I got you. I got you, you're safe, I'm right here." Oliver says softly.

You sob into his chest, terrified.

"There's no one in there." You hear Sendou's voice. "Here. Look." He shows Oliver the text on your phone that's still unlocked.

You've got a nice apartment. I really like your bedroom. It's cute.

Sendou doesn't know what Oliver has been up to these past few months. No one except for Otoya does.

"Hear that?" Oliver looks down at where you're still sobbing into his chest. "There's no one in there."

That doesn't make you feel any better. You don't want to go back inside your apartment, you don't want to stay and sleep there. You shake your head and whimper, fisting his shirt at the mere thought of going back inside. Oliver hushes you again and puts a hand on the back of your head.

Sendou says, "I don't think it's a good idea for her to stay here right now." Oliver knows that Sendou genuinely worried about you, but he has no idea just how long Aiku has waited for this.

"How about staying at my place tonight?" Oliver ask in a gentle voice. "How's that sound?"

You only nod in response.

*

It still feels like you're being watched, you can't shake the feeling. It has you holding Oliver's hand while you walk and clinging to him desperately for safety. You're outside his apartment and feel the need to look behind you to check the hallway while he unlocks the door. "It's okay, I won't let anything happen to you." He squeezes your hand and leads you in. He closes the door and immediately turns to you, pulling you in for a hug. "You're safe here. Nothing will happen to you."

You haven't said a word since leaving your building.

"Come on, doll, let's get you to bed." He pulls back and cups your flushed cheeks where fresh tears have started running, brushing his thumbs over your cheeks gently to wipe them.

Being able to finally call you his is just within arm's reach.

"Oliver . . ."

Fuck, you're killing him.

He leans his forehead against yours, still caressing your cheeks. "I'm right here." Oliver whispers. He pulls you into another hug and waits for you to lean further against him. You even put your arms around his neck which is more than he could have asked for in the moment. "C'mere," He doesn't waste any time, moving an arm down to pick you up and hold you close. "I got you."

You keep your arms around him and your face hidden in the crook of his neck as he carries you through his apartment, only looking up when you feel something soft beneath you.

It's his bed, but you don't want to be alone right now.

Just as Oliver goes to lean back from you, you tighten your arms around him, whimpering out a desperate, "Please don't leave me."

Shit, shit, shit. Oliver is sure he's going to die now.

"You sure?" He asks, voice low.

"Please . . ." You whisper.

Oh, this is fucking perfect. This is much better than Aiku expected.

Oliver lets you lie down on his bed, and he doesn't know how to handle the view of you down there, then gets down next to you. He lets you rest your head on his arm, putting the other around your smaller frame and pulling you into his chest where you instantly close your eyes and sigh in relief. "Try to get some sleep now. You're safe here." He whispers.

"Thank you, Oliver."

He's so close to finally getting what he wants in life. What he needs.

You're my beautiful girl, Oliver thinks and smiles down at you. You look so pretty like this, eyes closed and features soft and relaxed. Aiku has finally managed to turn himself into your safe space.

"Oliver . . ."

He moves his hand up to brush away the hair that covers your beautiful face. "Yeah?"

You open your eyes to look at his, dual coloured and mesmerizing. "I'm . . . I'm so scared these days."

For a moment, Oliver feels conflicted. He just wanted this, to be the one you will always seek out and rely on, but he also wonders if he's taken things too far. Seeing your pretty eyes all teary like this is breaking his heart, but he's more than happy to help you heal from this and build you back up again.

Oliver has all the time in the world now. You trust him, he knows that, and he'll never let you leave his side. "I'm sorry this is happening," He caresses your cheek, touch soft. "I'll help in any way I can."

Please, please just let him do this.

Aiku needs only you in life, why does he have to do so much to get what he wants?

Please don't push him away.

Oliver leans closer to you, eyes still locked with yours. It's a wordless plea. He's asking you if it's okay.

Please don't say no.

If you push him away now he won't know how to handle it. He doesn't want to keep scaring you.

"Oliver . . ."

He's so close.

When you don't push him away, Oliver closes the space between you and finally presses his lips to yours.

Maybe he should've waited a bit longer and given you some more time to calm down, but he can't take it anymore.

He needs you.

Oliver doesn't push for more. He breaks the kiss after only a few seconds, but it's enough for now. "That okay?" He whispers, heart pounding against his chest.

You gulp, feeling dazed. "'s okay."

Perfect.

*

You wake up the next morning with Oliver's arms wrapped around you. This is the third time it has happened, and by now you've grown to enjoy the feeling.

He's still asleep.

You can't help it, but you end up laying there and just watching him.

Oliver is a handsome guy, yes, but you've never looked at him like that before. You don't know when that changed during the chaos of the past few weeks, but it's not the worst thing ever.

You reach out absentmindedly and brush his bangs from his eyes. His hair is softer than you imagined, you want to run your fingers through it forever.

He stirs a bit and takes a deep breath as he wakes up, eyes fluttering open and softening as soon as they meet yours.

"Morning." You say softly, hand on his cheek.

He smiles tiredly and closes his eyes again. "Morning, doll." Oliver puts his hand over yours and traces small circles on the back of your hand. "Sleep well?"

"Yeah." Much better than you have in months.

Oliver loves that he's the reason why you feel safe enough to have a good night's sleep now. "Stay here for a few days," He opens his eyes. "I don't want you to feel like that again."

"You sure?"

"Mhm." How could he ever want anything else? "How would you feel about it?"

"I don't want to be a burden."

"You could never be." Oliver is confused by that. How could you ever think that you would be a burden to him? He leans closer to you, pressing a gentle kiss on your forehead that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. "Stay here until you feel better."

Staying with Oliver? You wouldn't exactly hate that.

Oliver has never felt happier.

You've been staying with him for a few days now, showing no signs of wanting to leave. He knows it's because he makes you feel safe, something no one else manages to do.

He does his best to make you feel comfortable in his apartment, never pushing things too far and being careful not to say the wrong thing. The last thing Aiku wants is to scare you away.

You can't leave him.

You cannot.

Oliver wouldn't know what to do without you now that he's gotten a taste of life with you by his side. He would never forgive himself if he ruined this.

"You okay?" Your soft voice pulls him from his thoughts. "You look stressed out."

That's right. He stresses himself out every time he thinks about losing you, but he will not lose you so he should stop tormenting himself. "Just a bit tired." Oliver says. He's sitting on the couch and you're standing right next to him.

Oliver wants to hold you.

He takes your hand and pulls gently, bringing you down to hin. Aiku puts his hands on your waist, like he's been doing every now and then these past few days, and leans forward to nuzzle into your shoulder.

He always feels overjoyed when you let him do this. The first time he did he was scared you would push him away.

Oliver swears he's in heaven when he feels your fingers comb through his hair.

"Thank you for letting me stay." You thank him once again.

Oliver hums softly against your shoulder then turns towards you to place a kiss on the side of your neck.

He wants you so fucking badly.

"No need to thank me." He wraps his arms around your waist. "I'm just happy you're feeling better."

Oliver doesn't need to send you any more texts as long as you're with him. Everything is perfect this way and will stay as such so long as you don't leave.

He needs to make sure you'll stay.

Oliver waits until you decide to go to sleep. You did feel bad after your first night at his place, but all he needed to do was wait for you to start overthinking again and then he could hold you in his arms all night long.

Maybe he can finally try to take it a step further.

He'll never get tired of seeing you in his bed.

Oliver loves holding you like this more than anything. Your body fits in his arms perfectly because you were made for him and him alone. My beautiful girl. Oliver caresses your cheek.

He can't get enough of you.

When he first started doing this a few days you would blush and avoid his gaze. Now, it makes you smile up at him with those gorgeous eyes of yours.

"It feels like all I'm doing these days is just thank you over and over." You say. "I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't been there."

Oh, if only you knew just why he was always there every time you needed someone.

Oliver feels bolder than he did days ago now. He leans down and slots his lips against yours, and it's the best thing he has ever felt.

He's careful to not push for too much and make you uncomfortable, but fuck, it's hard to restrain himself.

Oliver hopes you won't say no next.

He pushes gently on your shoulder to get you to move onto your back, and when you comply he moves on top of you. You don't seem uncomfortable or even shocked, thank fuck for that, and it spurs Aiku on.

He breaks the kiss and pulls back to look down at your flushed face. You look so pretty like this, Oliver has never felt like this before.

No one can compare to you. He regrets wasting his time on other girls when he could've focused all his attention on you instead.

"'s this okay?" He whispers.

You feel hot. Oliver makes you feel things you've never experienced. "Uh huh . . ."

He's so close to getting what he's waited for since the day he met you.

Oliver kisses you again and you welcome it eagerly, pulling him closer by putting your arms around his neck.

You're so perfect.

You're perfect.

Oliver needs you more than he needs air. He can't live without you, he loves you so much

Oliver loves you. He loves you. He loves you.

*

Oliver wakes up to the sound of his phone vibrating softly on the nightstand. He sighs, annoyed, reaching out to pick it up.

Otoya.

Oliver gets out of bed carefully, making sure you won't wake up as he leaves and goes to open the front door where Otoya is waiting outside and smirks in amusement when he sees Oliver. "Mission accomplished?"

"Almost." Oliver yawns. "What's up?"

Otoya holds up the phone Oliver bought to text you with most of the time a few months back. "I keep forgetting to give this back at campus but I was close by and remembered it a few minutes ago."

Oliver takes the phone. "Thanks, bro."

"Well you seem happy." Otoya notes. "Score yet?"

"No, she's more than that." Oliver would never see you as just another girl to sleep with. You're his precious love and he'll never let you go. He doesn't need anyone else, only you.

Aiku doesn't know that his special girl woke up from him getting out of bed.

You're confused by what the boys are talking about, standing by the bedroom door and listening.

"Well, be careful with that thing." Otoya nods down at the phone. "I don't want to see the hell everyone will raise if they find out her creepy stalker is actually her precious Oliveeer." Otoya puts on a sweet, girly voice and makes a cute face.

Otoya's words hit you like a punch in the gut.

Oliver slaps the side of Otoya's head playfully and says, "Shut up, that won't happen."

"Here's to hoping." Otoya fistbumps him. "Later." He turns around and waves as he walks away.

Your mind goes blank.

Oliver?

What?

Otoya's words echo in your mind, "I don't want to see the hell everyone will raise if they find out her creepy stalker is actually her precious Oliveeer."

Your legs go weak.

". . . her creepy stalker is actually her precious Oliveeer."

You slide down to the floor.

The front door closes.

You gasp, eyes going wide.

Footsteps . . .

Oliver is coming back to the bedroom. His bedroom. The room you've been sleeping in for days. The bed you've laid with him in. The bed he's held you in every night.

". . . her creepy stalker is actually her precious Oliveeer."

It has to be a joke right?

Right?!

"Oh?"

Oliver's voice makes your blood freeze.

"Hey, what are you doing on the floor?"

You look up at him, eyes wide. Otoya's words fill your mind again, ". . . her creepy stalker is actually her precious Oliveeer."

"What are . . . you . . ." Oliver realizes.

You heard.

You stare up at him in terror.

It's him.

What kind of a cruel, sadistic joke is this?

It all suddenly makes sense, how could you be so stupid? Every time something happened either Oliver or Otoya would be there. Otoya was in on it, too.

The texts, the pictures, the knocking . . . all those times you felt like you were being watched . . .

Just as Oliver moves, about to walk up to you, you shake your head. "Please don't hurt me."

"No, no, no, I would never hurt you." Oliver kneels down in front of you but you back into the wall. "I'd never hurt you, doll."

The room suddenly feels too small.

You can't stay in there, the room where you've been sleeping in Oliver's arms on his bed when he's been playing you like a damn fiddle all along.

You push yourself off the floor and try to leave the room but he stops you by grabbing your arms. "No! Let go!"

Oliver can't let you leave. You'll never come back if you run away now. "Please just listen to me for a minute," He pleads. "let me explain-"

"No!" You cry. "No, no!"

Oliver lets go of your arms to hold your face in his large hands instead. "Please, doll, listen to me." He forces you back against the wall and cages you in, wide frame preventing you from running away. You can't leave, you can't.

If he could torment you over the course of months so easily, what else is he capable of? The thought terrifies you and you can't stop the tears from running. "I trusted you . . ."

Oliver's heart breaks at the sight of your tears. Maybe he did take some things too far, but it's okay. All he needs to do is show how much he loves you. "You can still trust me, baby girl, I'd never hurt you, you know that."

"Oliver, please . . ." You whimper. "I'm scared . . ."

Scared of what? Of him? "You don't need to be scared, doll." Oliver says softly. He wipes the tears from your cheeks. "Please don't cry."

"O- Oliver . . ."

He's the one who turned you into a shell of your former self who spends every moment terrified for your safety.

Why would he do this?

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Oliver whispers over and over again. "I'm sorry for scaring you, doll, I'll never do anything to hurt you again." He promised. "You're the most important person in my life, I can't live without you."

How can you trust him after learning all this?

"Please don't hate me." Oliver begs desperately. He is beyond terrified now. He can't let you leave, it would kill him. "Please don't hate me, I love you so much. I love you, I love you, I love you."

If he loves you so much . . . why would he put you through all this? "Y- You . . ."

"I love you." Oliver breathes. He prays you won't push him away, then leans down to kiss you desperately. "I love you," He whispers against your lips. "I love you and only you, I love you so much."

If you were in your right mind right now you would condemn him for him actions and demand answers, but you're not. You look up at Oliver, in a daze from the kiss. "Y'love . . ."

"I love you." Oliver kisses you again. "You know that I do, don't you? You know how much I love you, doll, yeah?"

You see nothing but panic and desperation in his mismatched eyes, the same ones that have only looked at you with pure adoration for weeks now. "Y- You love m- me . . ." You murmur.

"Yeah, that's right. That's right, I love you. You're the only one I've ever loved." Oliver captures your lips in a heated kiss.

There is still a tiny voice inside you that is telling you to get a grip, yelling at you to push him away. Aiku is the one who put you through so much shit that you nearly lost your sanity, the one who scared you so much you broke down.

Oliver kisses you like his life depends on it. He needs too show you just how much he loves you, he needs you to know.

"Oli- Oliver-"

He's scared that you will tell him to let you go and he can't take it. Oliver will never let you leave, not when you're finally his.

You're still crying and he hates himself for being the cause of your tears. Oliver brushes the fresh tears from your cheeks and whispers against your lips, "You'll let me love you, won't you, doll? You'll let me show you how much you mean to me, right?" He moves his hands down your body.

He loves you . . . Oliver loves you, you can see it in his eyes.

"You'll let me, won't you, baby?"

A small nod is all you manage to give as a reply.

You gasp when you feel his warm hands on your skin. He pushes your tank top up to finally feel your soft skin. Oliver has waited for this for so long, he'll be damned if it ends before it even begins. "Let me show you."

"Oliver . . ."

He steps back from the wall and pulls you with him, guiding you to the bed and pushing you down. You're overwhelmed and want to tell Oliver to wait, but he doesn't let you say anything and kisses you again.

You push on his shoulders lightly. "W- Wait . . ."

"What's wrong, doll?" Oliver coos down at you, cupping your cheek. "Just let me take care of you, I'll make you feel better."

He leans back enough to sit on his knees for a second, pulling his t shirt off and throwing it away. The sight makes you feel hot and he can see the effect it has on you. It swells Oliver's ego to know you like what you see, even if you don't say it outloud.

There's a part of you that wants to push him away but . . .

Oliver can see the doubt in your eyes.

He leans back down and brushes his lips against yours. "You want me to make you feel good, don't you?" Aiku pushes your top up. It tingles where his skin meets yours and you exhale shakily. "I'll make it all better, doll. That's what you want, ain't it?"

You gulp, and you nod.

"Yeah?" Oliver smiles and presses a quick peck to your now swollen lips. "Want me to make it better?"

"Uh huh . . ."

He has you now.

Oliver has you and he will never let you go.

*

Everything feels so hot . . .

You can't breathe.

You can't think.

All you feel is Oliver Aiku.

Your discovery is long forgotten. He's doing everything he can to make sure that you will never care about it again, and it's working. Every time he feels you tensing up or sees the doubt in your pretty eyes he does something new to get your mind off it.

You're on your side with his toned chest pressed against your back as he litters your nape and shoulder with kiss, one arm under you and holding you tight while his free hand roams every inch of your burning skin.

Oliver moves his hand down between your thighs that are pressed together. "O- Oli . . ."

He can't get enough of you. He's never felt so good in his life. "All f'me," Oliver whispers by your ear. "I want you so fuck'n bad, doll."

Oliver is skilled and experienced, you know that, and you should have enough common sense to not let that bother you but it does. It means he's been with plenty of other girls before you and you hate that.

He shifts his arm under you to move his hand up to hold your face, forcing you to turn your head and look back at him. "C'mere, doll." He kisses you hungrily. Oliver actually moans when he feels how wet you are.

All for him.

"Feels so good to hold you like this." Aiku pants. "You're so good for me. My good girl."

Oliver's gaze moves down to the marks on your shoulder. There aren't enough of them. You're not covered enough. He needs to leave enough marks for the whole world to know that you belong to him.

He grabs a handful of your plush thigh. "Spread 'em."

"Oliver . . ."

"You said you'd let me, remember?" He says softly. "Remember, baby? You said you'd let me love you."

That's right . . . you did.

"Here, we'll take it slow." He's okay with waiting a few more minutes if it means he can make you more needy in the process and eventually have you beg for it. "See? Just like this."

Oliver urges you to press your thighs together again. He's sure that being buried deep inside you would feel a lot better, but he doesn't mind fucking your pretty thighs for a while. They’re so soft and feel so good around his cock, everything about you feels like paradise.

You keep rubbing your thighs together to relieve some of the tension in your body. He's only making it worse by rubbing against you like this, you're desperate for release. "Oliver . . . please . . ."

Every time he moves forward he nudges your sensitive clit and it has your thighs shaking.

You spread your legs and Oliver is quick to take advantage of it. "This is okay, right?" He pants, struggling to restrain himself.

Even now, there's still that tiny voice inside that begs you to stop.

Oliver kisses your shoulder. "I can do it, right?"

You . . .

He needs to make you his.

You're scared.

Oliver feels it in the way you tense you slightly, but he's so close, it's practically almost done. "Hey, doll, how do you feel?" He kisses your shoulder again and stops for a moment. "It's okay, right?"

It's Oliver . . . Oliver loves you, you know that now . . .

You don't say anything. Instead, you reach your hand back to the back of his head and turn to kiss him again.

Oliver will take this as a yes.

You tense up and gasp when he pushes in. He's a lot bigger than you expected.

Oliver swears he's dying, he can't handle it now that it's finally happening. You're so warm and so tight, it feels so good.

"Y'feel so fuck'n good, doll." Oliver whispers against your lips. "So good for me, my good girl."

You can't think of anything other than the feeling of Oliver's cock deep inside you, filling you perfectly.

He moves at a slow pace, whispering sweet nothings and praising you for being so good for him. You're his perfect girl, so sweet and so beautiful and all his.

Oliver knows he has you now.

"How's it feel, doll? Feel good?"

You feel hot. "Oli . . ."

"Deep breaths for me, baby, easy now." He murmurs softly, hitting that perfect spot inside you.

"F- Feels good . . ."

Yes.

Oliver has never been happier. He finally has you and it was worth the wait.

You cry out his name and it makes Oliver's heart flutter and he practically melts against you. You're the only girl who can do this to him. Everything about you is addicting, he could never get enough of you. Now that Oliver finally gets to bury himself inside you he never wants to pull out. He wishes that he can stay like this forever.

Aiku moans against your nape at the feeling of your tight cunt squeezing him, as if you never him to leave.

Shit, it feels so good, he won't last.

He whispers you name breathlessly and moves at an even slower pace in favour of giving harder thrusts.

Your sweet voice bounces off the walls and in the room, the sweetest sound Aiku has ever heard.

"G'na cum f'me, yeah?" Oliver pants, so close. "Come on, doll, cum for me. Give me everything."

You belong to him, just as he belongs to you.

You're his and he is yours.

Oliver loves you so fucking much, he can hardly handle it. He needs you to live.

"I love you."

[welcometogrouchland]

An aspect of the comedy would, I believe, be Bruce and Dick's rampant hypocrisy regarding both these relationships. They like Bernard. He's nice! He's a great cook and he makes Tim happy :) and he's not a murderous gothy teenage crime lord :) unlike one of their sons dinner guests :) not to name names :))))))

The fact that no one across all of DC fandom (as far as I can tell) has mined the beautiful comedic potential that is the night and day difference between Tim and Damians current canonical love interests

[serverusslaype]

Shameless, pt. 6

snape x professor!reader fic

Shameless Masterpost

omg hey guys... after all the replies on the last update, i almost cried because i honestly did not expect this kind of reaction at all (what an emotional ass b*tch, i know). i can't believe people are reading this, it's mad to me. honestly. i appreciate you all so much, thank you for showing your support. i love you guys :') <3

here is part 6. i hope you enjoy it, reading your comments made me write this today and i think i'm happy with it. please let me know what you think! <3

LESGOOO!!

Hot tears streamed down your cheeks as you ran back to your quarters; your chest tightening with each strangled breath that you struggled to suck in. Merlin, how could you have been so foolish as to think that Severus Snape, of all people, would ever treat you differently? You really believed he could feel something for you? You had the word 'clown' stamped clearly on your forehead right now.

Even though the current moment was not something you would wish on your worst enemy, it couldn't have happened at a better time. The castle was empty of students - apart from the handful that stayed during the Christmas break - and you were free to run, crying carelessly, without the worry of being seen and ending up looking like some sort of lunatic. In your mind, you were beating yourself up; cursing yourself for reacting so fucking hysterically. Your mind was telling you that you had no reason to be acting like this, it's not like you were in love with the man - you merely had feelings for him. But it was a different story with your heart. In your heart, you felt like your reaction was valid. Your heart was screaming at you, saying you're not stupid for feeling so betrayed and hurt by Snape's sudden change in demeanour. You were right to cry; to feel like you'd just been punched in the gut. Your heart and mind were in a brutal, relentless war with each other, and it was tiring.

Gods, you felt like such an idiot, why did you even bother going down with that plate of damned food? After all of the hurtful comments he made towards you, why did you even still waste your time with him? All of the red flags were on display like a high-street shop window yet you still ignored them. Your altruistic, caring, empathetic little self got you hurt again.

You slowed to a stop, stumbling to a column of stone in front of you, hidden in the shadows. You leant against it, trying to slow your racing mind.

"Y/N?" A soft, worried voice called from behind you, tearing you from your destructive thoughts. You froze. Whoever had just caught you having a little breakdown wasn't who you wanted it to be. Even though he was sending you on a rollercoaster of emotions right now, you still wished it was Severus that had just called your name. As you were leant against the stone column with a strained palm, your head dropped down in a feeble attempt to hide your distraught face. "Hi Hagrid." You sighed softly, voice quiet and timid. Slowly, you lifted your head up, wiping away your tears with rough fingers. You turned around with a weak smile and reddened eyes and saw the half-giant gamekeeper stood still with a twist of confusion and sadness sat on his face. His brows knitted together in sympathy as his eyes fell on your puffy, wet eyes.

"Oh, Y/N, whatever's the matter?" Hagrid asked quietly in his thick Scottish accent, taking a step towards you slowly, as if you were a scared animal.

"I'm not sure I want to say." You said, a pathetic laugh falling from your lips as you grinned stupidly at your ridiculous state. Hagrid's mouth twitched downwards. "It's… complicated."

"You don't have t'explain. Would you like to join me for a cuppa? I was just headin' back," Hagrid said, holding up a dead and limp ferret in his hand, "just finished gettin' some ferrets for Buckbeak. He loves these things he does." He laughed happily, a toothy grin appearing on his face as his eyes twinkled. You couldn't help but smile wider at him. Hagrid always made you feel better, his energy was just so undeniably positive and happy.

"I think I'd like that." You nodded, swallowing down your cries. Hagrid beckoned you towards him with a welcoming arm. You gladly accepted and stepped towards him, a few fresh tears leaving your eyes.

"Where's that 'appy little Hufflepuff we all know n' love?" The gamekeeper placed a comforting arm around your shoulders, giving you a squeeze as you laughed. "There she is!" He beamed as the two of you began to walk in the direction of the forest.

"Do you think Buckbeak will remember me, Hagrid?" You asked curiously, sniffling as you stared at the gravelly ground the pair of you were strolling on.

"Oh, I'm sure 'e will, you know, you were one of 'is favourites back when you were studying here at Hogwarts." Hagrid assured you with a hearty chuckle. You glanced up at him, surprised.

"One of his favourites? Are you sure?" You frowned, a doubtful and brief laugh falling from your lips.

"I'm almost cert'n, actually." Hagrid smiled down at you. "He'll cheer you up, that's f'sure. Better than I can!" He added, prompting you to shake your head at him. For a clever man, Hagrid is quite painfully oblivious sometimes.

"Don't be silly, Hagrid, you always put a smile on everyone's face." You protested his words quite sternly. Hagrid's bushy brows raised slightly in surprise at your tone.

"I appreciate that, Y/N, really, I do. Sometimes I can't help but feel a little useless 'ere sometimes. I mean, all o' ya are professors of import'nt subjects," He explained, glancing down at you for a moment. Again, you were already shaking your head at him. "I take care o' the creatures 'nd the grounds o'course, but there's times where I feel like I can do so much more. I mean, Care o' Magical Creatures ain't really a life skill tha' people need." Hagrid shrugged lightly as the two of you neared the pathway into the forest that was rather dim looking due to it being mid-Winter. The chilly breeze began to bite at your cheeks, painting them rosy.

"Perhaps not for most students, but it is for students that have dreams of opening up a… zoo of some sort, or maybe they're a budding Magizoologist! There are so many options, I just don't think you realise." You said, stopping in your tracks to let Hagrid go first. You followed him once he was in front of you.

"I s'ppose." Hagrid nodded as you watched his frizzy, long and bush-like hair bouncing on his upper back. There was several seconds of silence before you decided to bite the bullet and ask about the man who'd caused you grief earlier this afternoon.

"Do you talk to Snape much?" You asked, wincing as you spoke his name. Your heart betrayed you as it began to speed up in pace, anxiously awaiting Hagrid's answer.

"Not particularly," Hagrid replied as the two of you continued walking through the forest. The sun had started to set, casting a growing shadow over the woody scenery before you. "'e's not the friendliest o' people." He added with a dry chuckle.

"Yeah." Was all you said before Hagrid stopped and turned around, almost making you stumble into him.

"Did 'e say somethin' 'orrible to ya?" Hagrid asked sternly, genuinely concerned. His Scottish accent had become thicker out of anger.

"No! No, I was just… curious." You replied, your eyes twitching as you glanced between Hagrid's worrisome eyes and the soil beneath the soles of your shoes. Hagrid stood still for a moment, his eyes scrutinising you. It felt horribly similar to someone else.

"Okay. Well, if he does. You tell me, alright?" The gamekeeper said sternly once more, tone very serious, yet it had a twinge of concern wrapped up within it. You swallowed the growing lump in your throat, and nodded quickly. "Alright, good."

"Thanks, Hagrid." You said quietly, almost on the verge of tears again. Your mind was instantly reeling back to the moment Snape had told you to leave, mere seconds after dancing with you. Gods, what the hell did you do to make him change so… rapidly? He was smiling and laughing!

A few more steps and you'd found Buckbeak who was happily laid down beside a tree, leaning against the humungous trunk with tired eyes. "There ya'are, Buckbeak, we been lookin' for ya all over!" Hagrid beamed, that happy smile back on his face. A smile picked at your lips as you watched him walk over to his beloved pet, dangling a ferret out of his hand. Buckbeak almost immediately stood up at the sight of either Hagrid or the ferret - you had money on the ferret, no disrespect to Hagrid. He chirped and bounced over to Hagrid before halting to bow. Hagrid returned the gesture and proceeded to throw the dead ferret in the air. Buckbeak gracefully leaped up, flapping his gargantuan wings and caught the treat with a echoey clop from his beak, a cloud of dust emitting from his ill-assorted feet as they hit the ground with a muted thud. "Sucha' good boy."

You'd forgotten how magnificent Buckbeak truly was. "He's still so beautiful." You commented, stepping towards the creature cautiously. Hagrid turned to look at you with a bright, gappy-toothed grin.

"He is." Hagrid agreed proudly, turning back to admire Buckbeak. It warmed your heart, almost making you forget about the whole ordeal earlier on. "Want ta say 'ello?"

"Always," You smiled, stepping to stand beside Hagrid. You bowed to Buckbeak who was currently staring at you with beady, curious eyes, pawing at the ground with his talons absentmindedly. "Hi Buckbeak, remember me?" You said slowly, staying where you were stood, a little worried of his reaction. Hagrid frowned down at you and gave you a shove towards the beast, in which Buckbeak flared his wings suddenly out of fright. You gasped.

"S'alright, he won't 'urt ya." Hagrid soothed. You swallowed and stepped closer to the creature and held out your hand. "It's Y/N, Y/N L/N, boy, d'ya remember 'er?" He asked giddily. Buckbeak squawked, his head twitching in every direction as he stared at you. He froze for a moment before chirping happily and bounding over to you.

"Hey, boy!" You giggled as Buckbeak pressed his cold, smooth beak against your cheek, chirping once more as he recognised you. "It's been a long time, I know, I'm sorry." Another ticklish giggle escaped your lips as he lowered his head to nudge your hand, encouraging you to pet him. You did so, raising your hand to tickle his neck. You watched as your fingers disappeared beneath his thick coat of silver-grey feathers, giving him a scratch just below his ear.

"Told ya 'e had a soft spot f'ya." Hagrid said knowingly, swaying back and forth on his heels. "Want ta' feed 'im?" He asked, holding out a ferret. You glanced at Hagrid and nodded eagerly, holding out your hands. He chucked it to you and you reached up your hands to grab it, taking a step back from Buckbeak.

"Are you a good boy, Buckbeak?" You hummed happily, waving the limp ferret at him. He squawked softly at you, as if to say 'Give me the damn ferret! Stop waving it in my face!'. A grin broke out on your face and you threw the small carcass lightly in the air, watching in awe as Buckbeak leaped up to catch it once more.

Once night had fallen, Hagrid and you headed back to his hut for a drink of wine, since you both agreed it was too late for tea. The two of you were now sat merrily around his rickety, circular wooden dining table, a glass of sweet Elven wine in your hands. Loud, careless laughter erupted from your lips as Hagrid told you a story of how he caught Benjamin Bluewater - surprise, surprise - in the act of planting a magical fart bomb on Professor McGonagall's chair in her classroom.

"I tell ya', Y/N, tha' boy was a menace!" Hagrid boomed with raucous laughter, leaning back in his chair. You joined him, wiping a stray tear from your eye as your laughter died down. "Ain't never seen 'im look so terrified in all 'is life when I found 'im."

"Y'know," You slurred, smacking your lips together as you tried to wet them. "He also pranked Snape in, err, fourth year I think." You snickered, clenching your jaw slightly as your chest tightened at the mention of his name. You might have been drunk, but it still hurt to think about him. "Bluewater seemed to favour the foul-smelling pranks."

"Yeah," Hagrid sighed, staring out of the window in a drunken, hazy state. He waited a moment before turning back to you, taking another sip of his wine, tutting. "Who was yer favourite teacher then?"

"McGonagall, definitely," You answered quickly, a brief, drunk giggle escaping your lips. Hagrid smiled at you; happy you were feeling a little better. "I'd always got along well with her, and I still do now."

"Minerva's'a sweet soul." Hagrid nodded, his eyes growing lazy as the wine was beginning to take effect.

"Yes, she's… lovely." You agreed, drawling slightly, noticing Hagrid's tired state as you looked at him. "I… think I'm going to… make a move, Hagrid." You announced, sipping your wine again. Hagrid was swaying in his seat currently, absolutely hammered. You snorted loudly at him, catching his attention as his head snapped towards you.

"Wha'?" He slurred, giggling like a child.

"Nothin', nothing," You grinned to yourself, standing up with the glass of wine in your hand, swaying slightly. You quickly downed the rest of it and placed it sloppily on the wooden table, wincing a little as it almost broke. "Thanks for this evening Hagrid, it was bloody brilliant. And the wine," you said, grabbing the wine glass again, holding it up heavy-handedly, "the wine was bloody brilliant too." You giggled again, losing your composure as you looked to the gamekeeper who was now blinking each eye manually. You placed the glass down on the table, your hand coming up to cover your mouth. "Oh my gods, Hagrid, please, get to bed."

"No, am fine! I'll see yee' out," He squeezed his eyes shut and stood up from the table, stumbling through his hut to reach the front door, wine glass still in hand. You had to hold back a snicker as he almost tripped over Fang.

Hagrid held out his arms rather widely, eyes shut and a big dopey smile on his face. You gave him a big hug and stepped back, patting his arm. "Thanks again, Hagrid, see ya tomorrow." You grinned drunkenly at him, stumbling through his door and down the steps. You gasped slightly as your foot hit the soft, uneven grass. The sound of Hagrid shutting his door with a loud, accidental slam startled you slightly as you jumped, quickly turning around to spot Hagrid waving out his window at you. He looked like one of those oriental waving-cat statues you'd find in Muggle store windows. You laughed again and waved, beginning to walk back to the castle carefully, albeit rather drunkenly.

You were alone with your thoughts again as you walked up the grassy hills, the cold and chilly air beginning to freeze you. As you started to chill, you increased your pace slightly, breaking into a jog. The ground beneath you began to spin.

Gods, you were fucking wasted. That damned elven wine.

"Oh, shit," You choked out as you tripped up the stone steps, landing on your hands and knees. You winced slightly at the sharp pain shooting through your limbs, and slowly got up, a loud and tired sigh leaving your lungs. "Shit."

"Professor L/N?" A familiar, irritating voice came from your right as you entered the castle, the comforting warmth engulfing your body.

Fuck me, really?

"Lockhart." You smiled awkwardly at him, trying to stand up straight and act… as sober as possible.

"What in Merlin's name are you doing awake at this time?" He asked suspiciously, eyeing your swaying body.

"Err," You swallowed, your mind racing. "I went for a walk." You said, hoping he couldn't hear how drunk you were.

"At…" he glanced at his pocket watch, "One thirty in the morning?" Lockhart frowned, his ginger-blonde brows furrowing together. You stared at him back with wide eyes, saying nothing.

"Yep. Couldn't sleep!" Was all you said before you quickly took off in the direction of your quarters. Your bed was screaming your name right now and you were eager to answer it's calls. You left Lockhart stood there, utterly confused. You couldn't care less though. As you were rushing off, you realised you hadn't asked him why he was up so late. Bastard, you thought as you speedily walked to your room, deep in your own thoughts.

As you turned a corner, you walked straight into a hard wall of cloth. You winced and fell backwards from the speed you'd bumped into it.

"Ow," you mumbled, rubbing your forehead, "what…?" You opened your eyes to a shroud of black, your heart dropping immediately.

"You should watch where you're going, Professor L/N." Snape's cold voice said, making your stomach do anxious backflips. He has the goddamn nerve…

"Seriously?" You gawked at the Potions Master, that same old feeling of rage boiling in your chest again as you messily stood up, straightening out your robes. "After what happened-" You hiccupped, earning a confused frown from Snape. "-happened earlier, you're going to act like you don't… even know me?" You questioned him angrily, pointing a finger in his face. The alcohol-infused confidence and boldness was in full effect right now.

"I've no idea what you're talking about, Professor L/N." Snape scowled at you, glaring at the finger that was pointed straight at him.

"God, you're such an arse!" You cried out with bitterness, a fresh surge of frustration rushing through you as your hands ran through your hair. Once more, he'd made you cry. Tears were welling in your eyes as you inhaled softly, trying to collect yourself. "How could I even…" You stopped yourself, your lungs burning as you sobbed quietly. "Why did you tell me to leave earlier?" You demanded, inhaling deeply, standing back as you swayed on your feet; eyes glossy.

"You should retire to bed, Professor L/N, you wouldn't want any of your students to witness you in this… embarrassing state." Snape sneered at you. He knew you were drunk. Your lips parted in slight shock as you stared up at him in utter disbelief. Gods, you wanted to curse him so fucking bad right now; the feeling was so overwhelmingly strong that you felt yourself reaching for your wand.

"I wouldn't do that, if I were you." Snape warned.

"Do what?…" You repeated quietly, slurring, fire in your eyes. This only enraged Snape further, pushing him to place a hand on your shoulder and shove you backwards against the stone wall behind you. A strained grunt left your lips as your back collided rather harshly with it. Tears brimmed your eyes.

"Don't. Do. It." He hissed, his face mere centimetres away from yours.

And here you were again. Angry. Inches away from each other. Backed up against a wall. His intoxicating scent making you breathless.

You clenched your jaw harshly, tilting your chin up in defiance, refusing to break eye contact as Snape glared harrowingly into your teary eyes. If he was being honest, your lips looked insanely kissable right now, and the tension between you two was driving him fucking insane. Your lip twitched as you continued to stare him down, silently challenging him. Snape could smell the alcohol on your breath and it maddened him.

Why were you coming back to the castle so late at night, drunk out of your goddamn mind? Have you no fucking brain at all?

You sent his mind into a complete mess. Before he got to know you, he was fine, he felt nothing - the word 'feelings' was not in his vocabulary. He didn't hold his breath each time you met his eyes with your curious ones, he didn't feel his heart skip a beat each time you smiled prettily at him and most of all, he didn't feel like dying each time he saw you talking to someone other than him - not that he made it easy for you. He knew he was wrong for feeling that way, and he knew perfectly well that he couldn't have you. But, Merlin, did he want you. He despised - bordering on hate - how easily you broke down his defences and the walls he'd spent years upon years building, protecting himself from the past. Now, he had to push you away to protect you and to save himself the pain. Was it selfish? Absolutely. But was it also selfless? He wasn't so sure.

"Why do you treat me like this, Severus?" You whispered, your brows furrowing a tad as you slumped against the wall drunkenly; the sadness in your voice playing with Snape's cold heart. He absolutely loathed the way you said his name. Each time it fell from your lips, his knees felt like buckling.

Snape said nothing in reply to you.

"Answer me!" You cried, your hands grabbing onto his cloak helplessly as the corners of your mouth tugged downwards; your breath shaky and shallow.

"I treat you the same as anybody else." He said calmly.

"Oh yeah, do you fuckin' dance with Dumbledore in his office, then kick him out without a reason?" You said angrily, slurring your words slightly. Alcohol had loosened your lips.

"Keep your voice down, L/N." Snape warned, his hand tightening around your arm. You swallowed.

"Why? Scared someone will hear us?" You seethed with a blurring vision, ignoring his warning, placing your palms against his chest in a weak attempt to push him backwards and away from you. It felt like pushing against a gigantic boulder. He was incredibly strong. Snape pulled you from the wall and down a darkened corridor, throwing you against another wall. You caught yourself with your hands, your palms splayed out in front of you. You quickly turned around so your back was against the wall. Snape stormed towards you, making your heart pound in your ears.

"Why can't you follow simple instructions?" He returned your vicious attitude, glaring ruthlessly. Your whole body shivered under his gaze.

"Why can't you just be nice to me?!" You exclaimed, growing tired as the tears began to pour from your eyes. Your feelings were becoming uncontrollable and the booze you'd consumed was not helping. "What have I done to you?"

Snape was growing angrier and angrier by the second with you. He couldn't handle much more.

"What more do you want from me, Y/N?!" He hissed at you, his voice strained and almost pained.

Silence swallowed the both of you, your lips quivering as you stared up at him with tear-stained cheeks. Snape's chest tightened with what felt like guilt as he looked at you with uncaring eyes. It felt like an eternity had passed as the two of you stood in the dimly-lit corridor, staring at each other, silent as a mouse.

"I…" You croaked, shutting your mouth almost immediately, pursing your lips. The wine was coursing through you freely now, silently encouraging you to make bad decisions. It was egging you on, whispering into your vulnerable ears like a devil sat on your shoulder. You let your eyes drop to Snape's mouth, resisting the relentless and burning urge to just lean forward and kiss him. In fact, you felt like it was suffocating you. The tension between you two was uncomfortably rife and you were dying to soothe it.

You looked back up into his eyes, you chest rising and falling heavily as you inched your head forwards. Your eyes dropped back down to his lips again. Snape's breath hitched as he watched you tip your head toward him. You were about to close the gap between you two when his sharp voice cut through the blanket of silence.

"You're drunk, Y/N." Severus whispered. Instantly, you reeled back, your eyes snapping up to his. You could almost swear you saw a flash of sadness within them. "Go." Shit, you should not have done that.

"Snape, I…" You whispered back, an overwhelming feeling of regret sinking into your bones.

"Go." He said sternly, stepping away, putting distance in between the two of you. Gods, you really fucked up. Fuck, what the hell were you thinking? Trying to kiss him after what happened earlier? You were absolutely wasted.

Instantly, you slipped away from him, hurriedly walking in the direction of your quarters. You wanted to run away so fucking bad right now, hide in a hole, bury your face and never come out. Tears burned your eyes again and your throat tightened. The embarrassment you felt right now was eating you alive like a parasite.

part 7!

okay there it is... part 6... we're slowly getting somewhere B) hopefully you all don't hate me anymore :( pls

thank you for reading, let me know what you thought!! <3

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[fangirl-in-general]

How would Rhys and Pierce react that reader who a friend of Ava is a witch?

OOOOO I love this idea!! Rhys and Pierce are not my number one characters so forgive me if I screw up their personalities a bit but here goes!!

Warnings: slight suggestive content, I am not a practicing witch so I intentionally left it a little vague when it came to actual practices, some language, slight violence in Pierce's oneshot, lmk if I missed anything!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rhys

It hadn't been more than a month since Ava called me screaming and crying over some 'demons' taking over her life.

"Please you have to get them out!! They're driving me crazy!!"

"Get them out?? I'm not an exorcist! I'm a witch!! And a new one at that! I can barely cast a hex much less dispel evil spirits! Girl, call a priest!!" Aca and I have always had each other's backs, ever since high school. I was always the one she would call when she needed something and considering how lonely we both were and how hard it became for her to rely on other people, I felt it was an honor. Though she did overdo it from time to time.

"Spirits? What no! There's actually five men in my house claiming to be demons!!" Wait what...

"IT'S DAEMOS HUMAN!!! CORRECT IT OR I WILL!!!" The unfamiliar voice on the other end of the phone made my heart sink to the floor and I immediately grabbed my keys and a can of wasp spray and raced out the door.

That was about two weeks ago, and I haven't left Ava alone since. They don't seem intent on taking advantage of her 'hospitality', but I wasn't going to take any chances. Especially not with how comfortable she had grown letting them wander about her house unsupervised. One of them went through her bra drawer like a lunatic for crying out loud!!! talking about 'sources of power' and what not.

Creeps...

Rhys, the only one who seemed relatively well adjusted, came and sat next to me at the kitchen counter. I kept my eyes glued to the cards in front of me.

The Tower Upright...

interesting

"Excuse me, I don't mean to intrude. What are those?"

A distracted smile makes its way to my face as I continue to shuffle the cards, another pops out. "Tarot cards. And you're not intruding as long as you don't take them from me like Asch did."

The Chariot reversed...

Rhys lets out a nervous chuckle and continues to inspect my actions. "Do they...do anything?"

I steal a glance; his brows are pressed together in concentration and his eyes pass between expectance and curiosity. "More or less. They're kind of like a guiding tool. We can use them to better understand ourselves and connect with the universe around us. They can be a useful way to prepare for coming events, or to better handle current ones. But most people don't believe in it so it's whatever I guess."

He gasps slightly. "Intriguing. So you use them to see the future and read minds?"

The snort that came out of me was far from intentional, but I honestly had no other idea how to react to that statement. "I mean, sure something like that."

"Can you read mine?"

I turned to him. "You want me to do a tarot reading for you?"

He nodded with more excitement than I had seen from any of them besides the pink one. I shrugged and began to reshuffle the cards. "Fine but just a basic one. I'm still a new witch and I don't wanna hear anything mean or judgy from someone who doesn't even-"

"You're a witch??"

For some reason I felt my blood run cold. I felt like a bug under a microscope, and I couldn't tell if the gaze he had fixed me with was simply observation, or calculation. Similar feelings with vastly different intentions. But both managed to send a shiver down my spine and a reluctant blush to my cheeks.

All I could muster was a nod before forcing myself back to shuffling.

"That's incredible!! Why did you not tell us before! Ava told us she was a powerful sorceress but TWO powerful magic users working together is surely a force to be reckoned with!! You must tell me what you know! I want to learn everything!"

His words forced a smile to my face, and I couldn't help the blush that accompanied it.

His praises continued. "I knew you had to be quite skilled to be so close to Princess Ava, but this explains it all! You were simply trying to hide your abilities so that we wouldn't expect your attack if something went wrong!! How incredibly intelligent!" He leaned forward, excitement practically bursting from him. "Please read this 'tarot' I simply must see your skills firsthand!"

I let a chuckle escape and went back to shuffling the deck. Two cards fell out.

"Death, and High Preist reversed..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peirce

"You know what Leif!! One of these days you're gonna wish you kept your dirty little mouth shut for once!!"

Leif was (as usual) doing nothing but being the biggest menace he possibly could be. Stealing my phone, going through my things, screaming in my ear, shit talking, etc.

To say I had enough was an understatement. The only thing that kept me from wringing his neck was a large muscley arm wrapping around my torso and throwing me over his shoulder. "Hey! Wha- PEIRCE!!" My screaming didn't stop him from wordlessly lugging me to my room and tossing me onto the bed. Now I know what you're thinking 'omg that's so sexy this is totally about to get fun' well I thought the exact same thing the first three times this happened, and I'll admit the thought still crosses my mind the twelve times it's happened since then but NO! This is still a (mostly) family friendly blog after all (for now).

Anyway, I sit up with a groan and glare at Peirce who has made himself comfortable in the chair in the corner of the room. This happens so often that it's practically scripted at this point. Leif is an ass, I get frustrated, Peirce gets tired, carries me to my room, then babysits me so I won't go out and try to strangle the antagonistic fiend in the other room.

At this point I'm done. I'm so sick of Leif and his attitude and lack of consequences. Just because they think Ava is a powerful sorceress and they don't think I'm anything more than her confidant doesn't mean they get to push me around. Leif is gonna get what's coming to him.

I glance at Peirce who is sitting arms crossed, still watching me though his gaze is softer now. I jump off the bed and head to my desk. digging through the drawers I pull out some candles and begin flipping through the book of incantations I keep tucked under a floorboard. I used to store said book in my nightstand drawer but surprise surprise, the guys went rummaging through my things and I don't trust them not to mess with it.

I'm missing a key piece to the puzzle. "Hey Peirce?"

A hum can be heard from the corner.

"Could I talk you into stealing some of Leif's hair for me?" I turn and give him the sweetest least guilty smile I could muster. He rises slowly and stalks over to me looming as he stared into my eyes as if inspecting for a motive. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't realized how much larger than me he was, because I had defiantly noticed, and it was absolutely something I thought of frequently.

He let out quiet grunt and left the room. I was probably imagining the blush on his cheeks, but the image was going to stay in my head for a painfully long time.

"Peirce w- OW!!! YOU PRICK WHAT THE HELL!!!"

Leif's screaming was nothing new, but it almost made my heart swell to know that Peirce was willing to potentially start a confrontation just to get something I asked without any context at all. 'I should definitely kiss him for that'

He came back into the room holding a suspiciously large chunk of blond hair and handed it to me. I smiled at him, and he nodded before following me over to my desk.

"What are you doing?" His voice always caught me off guard. It was a beautiful, gentle, sound that filled my ears like a deep breath after drowning. I wish he would talk more but I didn't ever want to force him.

"I'm gonna hex him."

"Leif?"

I hum a confirmation and turn to the desk with the supplies. He continues his questioning. "On Daemos it takes a very skilled witch to perform such a task. Are you a skilled witch?"

I nod. The 'skilled' aspect was more or less true. My mentor was very skilled, and I'd been training under her for almost two years now, but I still had a long way to go, and she'd probably scold me big time for simply attempting this... but who said she had to know.

"So you are...magic?"

I turned to look at him. He stood next to the desk, eyes fixed on the task before me, and I couldn't help but smile as I responded. "Yea, something like that. Why?"

A flash of concern passed over his face, but it was quickly replaced with a soft smile that almost melted my heart to the floor.

"It's good to be powerful. I'm glad to know you can keep yourself safe while I can't." Pierce's words shot straight to my heart and tears instantly welled in my eyes.

"Thank you...Pierce." The blush that filled his cheeks at my words was enough to distract me from the fact that I had already lit the candles and was now burning the hair I held in my hands. "OW! SHIT!"

The hair fell from my hands right onto the carpet below us causing a mini panicked stomp dance to shake the room and probably the downstairs neighbor's entire apartment but that also probably the least obnoxious thing they've heard from up here so what can you do I guess.

Welp...there goes that hex...

Pierce begins to walk out the door. "I will bring you more." and despite the screams from the other room, the only expression I could muster was a flustered smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you enjoyed!! Please feel free to send feed back, this whole blog is an attempt to work on my writing skills so I'm completely open to suggestions and constructive criticism!

Hope you all have the best day!

[heeliopheelia]

"please, say it" (sunghoon x reader)

genre: fluff word count: 0.6k requested by nonnie ♡

a/n: another teeth rotting fluff for yall tonight 👀 i've been reading a lot of geto fics lately so it's either heavy angst or the sweetest shit ever with him (obviously i got inspired by the latter one lmao)

masterlist

The white bed sheets ruffle softly as you turn to your stomach, burying your face in a pillow. You have around fifteen minutes left until you have to get up for real if you don't want to be late for work. Sunghoon always sets his alarm half an hour earlier than yours as his workplace is located way further than yours.

He walks out of the bathroom, finishing buttoning his dress shirt up, a small smile painted on his lips as he looks at you. He walks up to you and leans down to press a gentle kiss to the top of your head.

"I'm gonna head out now, sweetheart," he says, running his hand through your hair one last time before stepping away from you. He turns on his heel to walk out of your shared bedroom and calls out over his shoulder, "See you later. I love you!"

What stops him in his tracks is the lack of response coming from you, excluding the unacceptable mhm mumbled into the pillow. With a frown on his face, he turns around slowly, raising his eyebrow at your half-asleep self.

"I love you," he repeats expectantly.

Silence.

You can barely hear him at this point as your mind drifts off to the dreamland again. When your slow breathing sounds through the quiet room, Sunghoon scoffs in disbelief of how rudely you're trying to rob him off of his daily avowal of affection. And he's not having any of it.

With a startled jolt, you lift your face from the pillow, blinking rapidly as the sheets are being barbarously ripped off of your body. An annoyed frown raises upon your features as your blurry gaze comes across your scowling boyfriend. He tosses your warm duvet to his side of the bed, then crosses his arms over his chest.

He sends you a pointed look. "I'm waiting," he says, attitude dripping from his tone.

You run your hand through your sleepy face. "The hell?" You mumble quietly, voice still raspy. "Hoon, what are you doing? You're gonna be late for work."

"Do I look like I care? I'm not going anywhere until you finally do your damn job and say it back."

You raise your eyebrows at his words, looking at him like he's just escaped from a mental institution. "Are you okay? And say what back?"

Sunghoon clicks his tongue before letting out a dramatic sigh. "You know what, missy." He squints his eyes, pointing his outstretched finger at you. "C'mon, hurry up or we're both not gonna make it on time."

Your boyfriend only rolls his eyes as you stand up from the bed and stumble over to his pouting self, still doubling over with laughter. You crash right into his chest, burying your face in the ironed fabric of his shirt as you wrap your arms around his waist.

You gape at him for a second, mind nearly steaming as you try to make any sense of his lunatic words. And then, your face lights up with realization.

"Oh my god!" You let out a loud cackle, falling back into the pillow as you laugh into your hands. You shake your head in disbelief. "You are a child!"

"Now, can you finally do it?" He asks quieter this time, fingers softly raking through your messy hair. You look up at him, your grinning face instantly bringing a smile to his own lips as well. "Please, baby, just say it,"

"I love you too, silly" you finally say the four words that feel like heaven upon Sunghoon's ears. You raise to your toes to press your lips to his jawline. "Now, go. You're already late but I still have seven more minutes of sleep."

Ignoring the amused scoff that leaves his lips, you turn on your heel and jump right back on top of the warm mattress. Nuzzling your face in the pillow, you don't even hear the door closing as you quickly fall back asleep.

permanent taglist: @bambisgirl @arizejkt19 @luvmura @milisabunny @cathy-1997 @satoruskitchenrag @ramenoil @jenjnk @jaylaxies @yoongspi

[thekingofwinterblog]

The Importance of Banter: Varric Tethras

So one of the more interesting takes I've gotten on my breakdowns of Dragon Age characters is the argument that Varric in terms of character development is one of the lesser characters in the game.

He stays the same, doesn't change much from beginning to end, and while enjoyable, his inclusion doesn't add nearly as much as some of the other characters in the game, and relies way too much on the goodwill from da2 to do most of the legwork for his inclusion in the game.

Now this isn't an argument without merit, I might agree a lot with this take... If it wasn't for the inclusion of one Dragon Age's staples, and one of the aspects that Inquisition arguably does better than ether ADO or DA2.

Character Banter.

Character Banter is extremely important because it gives us an insight into how characters think, how they interact, and showcases the more subtle elements that aren't always on display in the game itself.

Compared to the rest of the Characters, Varric is a bit different in that because he was a companion in the previous game, we can see how he's changed since the previous game.

Cassandra Pentaghast

So it's not an exaggeration to say that Cassandra and Varric has what is easily the most dynamic relationahip between any of the companions, having far and away the most interactions together out of party(And thats not even including the fact that all of DA2 is technically them talking to each other.

And this is reflected in their banter as well, where the two of them go back and forth like a married couple.

The thing that most be understood about Cassandra and Varric's banter though, is the fact that Varric is way, way smarter than Cassandra, who isn't dumb, but is not a genius by any stretch, which is reflected in the Dwarf's tendency to run rings around her all the time.

Cassandra: Have you heard from any of your Kirkwall associates Varric?

Varric: You're asking me? So you don't read my letters?

Cassandra: You're no longer my prisoner, much as you like to act like it.

Varric: Yet I still get all the suspicion.

Cassandra: I am not without sympathy, especially given recent events.

Varric: Why, Seeker, I would never accuse you of having sympathy! By the way I tend to refer to my "associates" as "friends". Maybe you're not familiar with the concept.

Cassandra: (sigh)

---

Varric: You know, Seeker, for someone with your tact and charisma you assembled a... pretty good little Inquisition. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming you didn't drag them all here by force.

Cassandra: How kind of you.

Varric: I mean, you never know, you could have kidnapped Ruffles and she'd be too polite to say anything.

Cassandra: Leliana recruited Josephine. They're... friends.

Varric: So there's a rational explanation after all. Just when I thought you had layers.

---

Varric: It makes sense that Leliana did the recruiting when the Inquisition started. Not everyone can be intimidated into signing up after all.

Cassandra: I recruited Commander Cullen.

Varric: Lucky him.

Cassandra: He has made no complaints about my manners.

Varric: His last boss was a raving lunatic who turned into a statue. That's not a high bar.

All of these three bits of banter is from early in their shared chain, and illustrates their dynamic very, very well. Varric reads Cassandra like an open book, and is able to completely take control over a situation just by playing the role of the ass who is just sniping at her because he feels like it, when what he's actually doing is maneuvering the conversation so it can end on him having the last words by playing on the things Cassandra knows she cannot refute without lying.

That takes a lot of sponanous wit and an ability to think on the spot, something cassandra does not possess, but Varric has in plenty.

Of course this dynamic is only at the start as they have plenty more as the story develops. One innparticular is their relationship regarding Varric's liturature, which is one of the more entertaining side quests in the game, but it does tell us more about them in the followup banter.

Varric: Seriously? Swords and Shields? How did you find that serial? Scrape it off the bottom of a barrel in Dust Town?

Cassandra: It was research! I thought I might learn more about the Champion.

Varric: I did write a book about the Champion. You might remember it. Had your knife stuck through it last I saw.

Cassandra: I already read that one. Twice.

Here we learn how much Cassandra actually loves to read Varric's work, but more importantly we get something we rarely see in Varric. Him talking about his own failures.

Varric likes to pretend he's this amazing writer who always produce masterpieces, as he himself says to Bianca, as if he'd write about his own failures and mistakes...

And yet there is swords and shields, a book that Varric has deemed an abyssmal failure. A joke, a mediocre piece of trash not worth the paper it was printed on... And yet it has it's fans. This work that varric despises still managed to find an audience, and despite how much satisfaction he had smugly giving it to Cassandra, that still grinds his gears.

People shouldn't like his bad work. It should be forgotten in favor of his masterpieces. A very dwarven way of thinking.

Varric: I can't believe you picked the absolute worst of my books to read. Why not Hard in Hightown?

Cassandra: I have enough mysteries and investigations of my own.

Varric: What? You don't want to solve more in your spare time?

Cassandra: Then you killed my favorite character in Chapter 3, so I threw the book across the room.

Varric: Ah, a critic. Say no more.

In this one, we get Varric both genuinely questioning Cassandra, as he seems to have assumed she actually does like investigating mysteries(she does not), but also tries to nudge her over to read High in Hightown instead.

Cassandra: Varric, how could you let the Knight-Captain be framed for murder?

Varric: Well, I did spent three entire chapters setting it up.

Cassandra: But she didn't deserve it! You'd already put her through more than enough!

Varric: Look, Seeker, if you love a character, you give them pain, ruin their lives, make them suffer. Maybe even throw in a heroic death.

Cassandra: That makes no sense!

Varric: You care enough to argue. If she had a nice afternoon and took a nap, you'd stop reading.

I could deconstruct this, but basically it's just a bit of meta commentary on what makes a good story. Not only will it not be the last, but it's not even the most blatant. After all, this one could apply to other people besides Hawke.

Cassandra: What made you write about Hawke? All your other books are complete fiction.

Varric: Someone had to set the record straight about the Champion.

Cassandra: Yet your book is still full of lies.

Varric: But true ones. That's important.

Varric loves stories... But he understands what stories are at their heart. The difference between a Recounting, and a Tale. That's what history is after all, the Tales everyone passed down.

And what good tale doesn't have a bit of exaggerated bullshit?

Cassandra: Why is the second Hard in Hightown so completely different from the first?

Varric: (sigh) Because I didn't write it. Shit, did you pay actual coin for that book? One of these days, I'm going to find the duster who wrote that garbage and introduce him to my editor.

Cassandra: By "editor," do you mean your crossbow?

Varric: No, my actual editor. Best in the business. She runs half the Coterie in Kirkwall. Stickler for grammar. She once killed a man over a semicolon. I'd never print anything without her.

This one is more meta commentary, but it does have a bit more meat to it. Varric's whole spiel about his editor being super powerful in the Coterie could be the truth, it could be complete bullshit. Or it could be something in between.

That's not the important part. The important part is that he wants Cassandra to guess, to assume, to speculate, because that is far more powerful than just laying it all out could ever be.

Cole: She has to reach the other side of the hill.

Cassandra: Who does?

Cole: The Knight-Captain. But she's injured.

Varric: (sigh) Good job, Kid.

Cassandra: Is she alright? Is that how the book ends?

Varric: Not anymore.

Cassandra: Cole, what happens to her?

Cole: I don't know. The hill went away.

So here we see that Varric is one of THOSE authors. You know the kind, the ones who will rewrite an entire storyline because the big twists was leaked ahead of time.

It's not that important in the grand scheme of things, but it's interesting how through the game we see a very consistent picture of how Varric likes to write. He's a gardner variety writer, but unlike GRRM he's not the kind thst sticks to what he had in mind and sets up if the big twist is learned before it's finished.

As for His banter with Cassandra related to Hawke, it's entertaining, but not exactly that enlightening. Except for one.

If you chose in DA2 to save carver or Bethany by making them grey wardens, you get this bit when Cassandra Questions him about them.

Varric: Aveline took him off somewhere when the Calling started going nuts, but he'll tag along. He always does.

Varric: Aveline took her off somewhere when the Calling started going nuts, but she'll try to keep Hawke out of trouble.

Cassandra misses the obvious, but you probably didn't.

Varric knew about the calling from the start. Oh he didn't know the details, and he didn't know why... But he knew there was something up with the calling from the very start, and probably figured out this was the key reason from day one.

And he didn't share it. At all.

That speaks volumes of where his true loyalties lies, and it's something a lot of people miss.

Cassandra is right. Varric's heart will never truly belong to the Inquisition so long as Hawke and his Kirkwall friends exists outside of it.

There is also a turning point in their conversations, starting around the point where Varric's personal quest with Bianca happened.

Cassandra: Am I to understand your Bianca is married?

Varric: Oh, have we reached the stage where we gossip about each other's love lives?

Varric: Did you hear that, boss? Don't worry, I'll tell you whatever she says.

Cassandra: Forget I mentioned anything. It was a simple question, Varric.

Varric: There was nothing simple about it.

Varric actually blatantly questions wheter they've reached the point where they are now talking about each others love with each other. The truth is though, they actually have.

Varric: You brought up Bianca, Seeker. Does that mean I can ask about your conquests?

Cassandra: I would rather you didn't.

Varric: No tantalizing secrets to divulge?

Cassandra: None.

(If the Inquisitor is in a relationship with Cassandra)

Varric: So no one within, say, a five foot radius has caught your eye?

Inquisitor: Really? No one at all?

Cassandra: This... is not a discussion I want to have here.

Varric: (laughs) Are you blushing, Seeker? Maker, the world really is coming to an end.

Or

Inquisitor: Perhaps Cassandra—and her conquest—would rather not discuss this in public.

Varric: Spoilsport.

Or

Varric: Nothing? You do know he's standing right there...

Cassandra: I... have no conquests.

Varric: How about dalliances? Liaisons? Illicit affairs?

Cassandra: No.

Sera: Enough poking, Varric.

Varric: Is it, Buttercup? Is it?

It a rather humorous affair, but it does show that Varric at this point is comfortable prodding Cassandra's love life, figuring out how far he can push.

Which speaks for itself at how close these two have gotten at this point.

Cassandra: Very well, Varric. If you wish to know about men I have known, I will tell you.

Varric: Look, Seeker. I was only...

Cassandra: You are right. I pried first, and fair is fair. Years ago, I knew a young mage named Regalyan. He was dashing, unlike any man I'd met. He died at the Conclave.

Varric: Oh.

Cassandra: What we had was fleeting. And years had passed. Still, it saddens me to think he's gone.

Varric: I'm sorry.

Nothing to add here, just that Varric sorta gets sad when he realizes that was friendly prodding touched a very bitter and sad point from Cassandra's pain.

For which he apologizes.

Varric: Look, Seeker, I didn't mean to make you talk about your mage friend.

Cassandra: I know. I was not trying to make you speak of Bianca. If I was, you would know. I would yell, books would be stabbed.

Varric: (Chuckles.) I'll keep that in mind.

Also as the game reaches the end section, Varric and Cassandra begin to really banter in a much more friendly way.

Cassandra: I still don't understand how drakes take that hand.

Varric: ...Hmm. Maybe we should start you on Shepherd's Six.

Cassandra: Isn't that a children's game?

Varric: Yeah.

When trying to teach Cassandra card games at this point in the story, Varric has the perfect set up for a punchline like he did in the early game, but he doesn't use it, because he isn't mocking cassandra here, he's genuinely trying to teach her how to play cards.

And so he suggest starting her off with something simple, like a card game for children, cause he understands thats where she has to start at her level.

There are plenty more, but most of it is just well written, engaging or funny back and forths. But before moving on, i wanna highlight two of them.

Varric: Did you really think the Conclave had a chance of making peace, Seeker?

Cassandra: You do not?

Varric: What was the Divine's plan? Bring everyone together and hope really hard that they would all get along?

Cassandra: Most Holy did not confide her plan to me. Perhaps she thought they were tired of death and conflict.

Varric: Oh, when is that ever been true? For Templars or mages.

Cassandra: I will not mock a dead woman, Varric. She did what she could, and that is more than most.

This conversation is very important for one simple reason. It showcases how much Varric has changed since DA2. Varric used to be one of the big believers in compromise in that game. He didn't come out and say it out right, because in that game the Templar far and away were the more evil faction, and so there was way more chances for Varric to stick up for mages, but Varric really, REALLY didn't want the mages and Templars to go to war.

He had so many friends in both factions, friends he knew would die if it ever did come to true blows.

I would say that varric was probably the best example of what neutrality in such a situation should have been. Someone who is neutral because he understood thst fundamentally, both sides even at their worst, were people. Not demons, not monsters, but human beings or elves. But unlike many others who clamor for neutrality, Varric wasn't stuck up his own ass about it.

If he saw one side go over the ljne, regardless of which it was, he would not just stand by wheter it was power hungry necromantic blood mages, or Templars like Ser Alrik.

But here, he mocks the very idea of neutrality. He has completely given up on it, and he's accepted that the only solution here, is for one side or the other will have to decisively crush the opposition.

Of course he doesnt come out and say it like that, but that's the message to take away here. So long as there is a templar or mage on the field, this war will continue. He doesn't like that fact, but he has accepted it.

Cassandra: I hear reconstruction is progressing well in Kirkwall.

Varric: I know things are bad there.

Cassandra: I wasn't trying to...

Varric: You weren't trying to remind me how bad is it in Kirkwall? So you decided to talk about it?

Cassandra: About its recovery!

Varric: What you're talking about are the buildings, and even that will take years. People don't recover so easily.

Kirkwall, that is to say, the Kirkwall Varric was born in, grew up in, and spent the happiest years of his life(When he was running there with Hawke), is dead and gone, and never coming back.

He is never getting it back.

Which will be very important for the next companion's banter.

Blackwall

Blackwall is different than the rest of the crew in that he's utterly reliant on the Banter to have any sort of presence. He has no charisma in the actual game, but he does showcase a much more entertaining character in banter.

In regards to Varric though, his mian purpose is to showcase aspects of Varric we don't often see.

One of the most important comes very, very early into their relationship.

Blackwall: I once met a dwarf who made the best home-brewed ale.

Varric: I once met a Grey Warden who got possessed by a spirit and then blew up a Chantry and killed a hundred people. What makes people think you want to hear what others of "your kind" have done, anyway?

This is a moment that is:

1. Very uncharacteristic of Varric, who usually loves talking about other people if he gets any excuse to do so, and will be demonstrated in a very similar moment in his banter with the Iron Bull, only with a different reaction.

2. It's here to showcase Varric's hatred for Anders. Other than Sebastian, Varric misses pretty much the entire DA2 cast, his true best friends... Except for Anders.

Varric LOATHES Anders for his actions, for kickstarting the Mage Templar War and getting lots of his friends killed, but also for destroying his home and making his own worst fear come true.

Varric's biggest fear as shown in the fade is becoming his parents... And that's exactly what he has become in DAI. The depressed exile from a home city that he can never return to, and if he does, it won't be the same life they miss so dearly. Varric misses Kirkwall. He misses it's people, the Hanged man, and always thinking back on the glory days of his life.

And he misses Hawke.

All lost to him and never coming back, all thanks to Anders. Varric can never return back to that time, that place, that era, that friend group that was the highpoint of Varric's life, because the city of Champion Hawke and Varric the sidekick is as dead and gone as his parents.

The hanged man will never be the same, Hawke will never be the revered Hero they were after act 2, and every single one of the countless friends that Varric misses will not come back.

And so he hates Anders with a level of hatred he reserves for very, very few people.

The rest of Varric's starting relationship with Blackwall is about him trying to figure out what makes him tick, innitially pegging him as another Sebastian. Boring, safe, droll.

He also has more banter where he shows how depressed he actually is about Kirkwall.

Blackwall: I've been to Kirkwall. The Hanged Man, actually, probably been twenty years now. It was a dive if I remember correctly.

Varric: It's the dive. Filled with the best and worst people in the world.

Blackwall: Yes, I heard it was a haunt of yours.

Varric: Haunt? It was home.

He finally clicks with Blackwall, as they get into a shared passion nobody else in the party has. Jousting. The sport consistent of knocking people of horses with pointy sticks.

As a Free Marcher Varric has grown up with the Grand Tourney as a focal point of his identity, and loves the sport, so he and Blackwall bonds and argues over the sport, with the most notable part being their disagreements over who is the better jousting knight, where he also gives his own cents in the form of a meta commentary between who is the better protagonist, the Hero of Ferelden or Hawke.

Blackwall: You can't really think Reeve Asa is a better knight than Honorine Chastain. Her record's flawless. Four hundred jousts, never unseated. No one's ever come close to it.

Varric: Oh, she's easily the most skilled. That's a fact. It's just "scrappy" is better than "flawless." I like heroes who try their damnedest, even if they fail a lot. It's easy to be valiant when you always win and everything goes your way. There's nothing great in that.

The rather unsubtle meta message here, is comparing the protagonists of the first games.

The warden is the stronger, more skilled and more competent protagonist who ultimately always triumphed, changed the world, and became heralded far and wide as the greatest hero of her age.

Meanwhile Hawke is the scrappy underdog hero who always gets back on their feet regardless of how hard they fall, and never actually suceeds in anything. Hawke is a failure Hero who couldn't save their mother, their city, at least one of their siblings, maybe two, Ketojan, couldn't prevent the Qunari attack, and constantly failed to save the day through DA2.

Now i don't really agree with this rather simplistic reading of the Warden, but it's a good scene, because it shows that Varric is more than capable of overlooking all the work, effort and time it takes to produce a "perfect" result, as well as show that Varric has a very hard preference for underdogs, and the stories they produce.

Which leads into his reaction when Blackwall confesses his sins.

Varric: Maybe I've been too hard on you.

Blackwall: Oh, so you don't think I'm dreadful now.

Varric: Actually, I thought you were boring before. Completely different. We're all dreadful. Every one of us, fundamentally flawed in a hundred different ways. That's why we're here, isn't it? Take all the risks, so the good people stay home where it's safe. With the whole "Blackwall" thing, you told a story so compelling even you started to believe it.

Blackwall: That's much nicer than saying "You're a dirty liar.", I'll take it.

Varric: A story-teller's got to believe his own story, or no one will.

Here we can gleam a sad fact. Varric very pointedly notes "we're all dreadfull", as Us, as in, him included.

Varric doesn't really consider himself a good person anymore, if he ever did.

It's not like the Varric of Yesteryear considered hinself a saint or some knight in shining armor, but there was a sense that he was happy with himself during that game, in a way he is not in DAI.

Something has changed, and that something is guilt over unleashing the red lyrium on the world, and probably guilt over killing his own friends.

It's not really focused on as much as it should be, but Varric had plenty of friends amongst both the mages and Templars... Which meant that when Anders blew up the chantry, regardless of which side you picked, Varric was forced to kill people who genuinely mattered to him.

Hence why he's so quick to forgive Blackwall for his lies.

For the most part this generally manifests itself in regards to Red Lyrium, which he blames himself for bringing into the world. I would argue that the more subtle parts you get to see in Banter though, is far, far more interesting and better told than the stuff in the main quest.

Because despite his flaws he "takes all the risks, so the good people won't have to.", just like Varric and Hawke.

This is in large amount what Varric in Inquisition is for the most part all about. Guilt, self loathing, and wanting to be a better person.

He just masks it with his usual wit, charm and charisma.

Kinda like Blackwall, only he doesn't really have much charisma or wit to hide behind. Hence why he is so accepting of, and willing to give him another chance without question.

On a final note before we move on from Blackwall, we also get to see varric try to play matchmaker between Blackwall and Josephine which is cute, but not exactly surprising, or give us further insight into Varric's character.

Cole

Now, I'm not going to cover Cole here, not because the banter isn't interesting, or we don't learn anything, but that's all from the way we learn about the world, or Cole himself.

Varric's side of these banters can be summed up in one sentence, for pretty much every single banter.

Varric is Cole's dad.

Rinse, repeat.

Dorian

Similarily, I will not be covering the banter with dorian, not because it's bad, far from it, it's some of the most entertaining in the game, but it doesn't exactly add much beyond the fact that both Varric and Dorian love to gamble, and share witty banter.

Also nugs has some creepy ass feet. The stuff of nightmares.

The Iron Bull

Far more to be dissected, can be found in Varric's banter with the Iron Bull.

There is so much to learn from this banter, from Spy work to how the Antaam is viewed by the other Qunari and so on, but we'll focus on the stuff relating to varric, as he and bull talk about a lot of things.

Varric: You're not the first Ben-Hassrath I've run across. Hawke and I went on a caper with one named Tallis.

Iron Bull: You don't say.

Varric: She caused us no end of trouble. You wouldn't know her by any chance?

Iron Bull: Hey, one time I ran into this dwarf on the road. Short, grouchy. You think you might know him?

Varric: I'm in the Merchant Guild. Ten royals says I not only know him—he owes me money.

Iron Bull: Oh. Well... no. I don't know Tallis. Sorry.

In stark contrast to his talk with Iron bull, when not involving Anders or other people he hates, Varric loves to talk about people. To the point that in his comeback to Iron Bull, there is an invitation here for Bull to specify who this random dwarf was, because chances are, he actually might know him, and could elaborate on the guy.

Varric: How could you possibly be a spy?

Iron Bull: Well, it's a pretty easy job. I do some fighting, and drinking, and then once in a while I tell Par Vollen about it.

Varric: Heh. Where's the sneaking, the plotting, the subtle machinations?

Iron Bull: If you do that, everyone knows you're a spy. Drinking, fighting, writing notes, that's all it really takes.

Varric: Shit. You're either the worst qunari ever, or the best. I can't decide.

He also showcases great frustration with the way Iron Bull pokes holes in his Bond like spy writing, in favor of the mundane realities of Cloak and Dagger stuff.

Because for all that he prides himself on tall tales, varric does like his writing to somewhat be plausible. Its why he gets pissy at the inquisitor when he tells him how stupid so many parts of DA2 were writing wise, cause Varric wrote it how it happened, and while embelishing it, it was mostly true.

And if his spy writing isn't realistic enough that it might plausibly happen... Then it's not as good as it could be.

Iron Bull: By the way, Varric, you write some nice fight scenes.

Varric: Well, thank you. I'm surprised you think so. They're not exactly realistic.

Iron Bull: I figured that out when the good guy did a backflip while wearing a chain mail shirt.

Varric: And that didn't bother you?

Iron Bull: Back in Seheron, I fell on a guy who tried to stab me in the gut. I felt the blade chip as it went through my gut and hit my back ribs. But I was alive, and on top. I sawed through the armor on the rebel's neck, back and forth, until it went red. I don't need a book to remind me that the world is full of horrible crap.

Varric: Impossible swashbuckling it is.

Meanwhile, this bit is surprisingly layered.

First off, there is Bull's retelling and describing the way he dealt with the Vint while bing impaled as "realistic". If this was not a world with magical healing such as potions or poultices he'd had died from this incident, due to infection if nothing else. That's meant as a bit of meta irony.

But the actual meat of this, is that Varric is just letting Bull rant.

The whole "Backflip while wearing chainmail armor" is something Hawke can literarily do in DA2, Provided you are a rogue Hawke and has high enough stats. If so, when hit by a trap, Hawke will simply backflip out of the way, even if wearing chainmail armor.

It is the kind of shit that for a long was normal for Varric, and he writes it into his fight scenes(Which he has a self dig at calling them not realistic, despite having seen shit like that for himself all the time).

But he doesnt say any of that.

Instead he just lets Bull rant, get it out there how shitty he really feels, because varric knows when to talk, and when to listen, and here is a time to listen.

Varric: So, Bull. You and Dorian?

Iron Bull: Mm-hmm.

Varric: "Two worlds tearing them apart, Tevinter and Qunari, with only love to keep them together."

Dorian: I don't see how this is even remotely your business, Varric.

Iron Bull: Could you make it sound angrier? "Love" is a bit soft.

Dorian: Please stop helping the dwarf.

Varric: How about passion?

Iron Bull: Yes, that's better. Love is all starlight and gentle blushes. Passion leaves your fingers sore from clawing the sheets.

Dorian: You could at least have had the courtesy to use the bedposts.

Iron Bull: Hey, don't top from the bottom.

Varric: Passion it is, then.

Also, i wanna highlight his banter with bull, if he and dorian hook up, and if both are with him in the party. It's really the only bit of Dorian varric banter with real character meat to it, as it puts Dorian's rarely seen tsundere side on full display, and why he makes such a good match with the easy going, yet equally passionate iron bull.

Iron Bull: Hey, Varric, I was reading your stuff... Where do your bad guys come from?

Varric: Well, some of them come from Tevinter and some are Ben-Hassrath spies... but I like the stories where the villain was the man beside you the whole time. The best villains don't see themselves as evil. They're fighting for a good cause, willing to get their hands dirty.

Iron Bull: All right, that's really deep and all, but I meant where do the bad guys come from literally? The way you write it, it's like they just fall from the sky and land on top on the hero.

Varric: I like to leave some things to the reader's imagination.

Also, final bit i'll cover of these two here. It's both a meta hit of writing in that it's supposed to be about solas, but can also apply to Iron bull, and is a self depreciating dig on the single worst gameplay mechanic from DA2.

Sera

So, as with Cole and Dorian, im not covering this sequence of banter as it doesn't really reveal much about Varric as a character. Its generally just Sera trying her usual bullshit, and Varric taking the piss out of her, much to her frustration.

Im not exactly a big fan of Sera, and even here, where most of their dialogue is about Varric basicaly running rings around her, don't really makes me smile.

There is one bit of banter though, that i do want to highlight.

Sera: (sing-song) La la la la la, Sentinals are shits.

Varric: Like it or not, Buttercup, that’s where you come from.

Sera: Says the undwarfiest dwarf ever!

Varric: Fair enough. Paragons can be shits too.

So, this one i feel is extremely important, for the reason that it goes to showcase that 1. Sera doesn't understand Varric in the slightest, and 2. Really goes to showcase Sera's complete and total lack of self awareness, and just how out of touch she is, raiding other people's homes, and calling them shits for defending themselves.

But that second one i'll save for Sera's banter review.

For this one, I want to highlight how Varric, just like Dorian understands and more importantly loves the Culture he originates from. He knows how shitty dwarven culture can be, and will never avoid taking the piss out of it for all it's flaws, but he also admires it. He admires their ability to create marvels, their grit and determination that has seen them take on the Darkspawn for a hundred years and still stand, and the individuals that stood up and above the rest to serve as legends, just like Hawke and the Inquisitor.

There is a reason his hangouts in both games are decorated full of very traditional dwarven furniture. Because he wants to live in a home that looks dwarven.

Because the past is important.

It's a bit of wisdom he tries, and fails to impart to Sera, that you simply trying to pretend your roots don't exists never works. And he's right. Even though Sera never admits wrong on her own part, she fully admits she burnt out on this spiteful hatred in Tresspasser.

Solas

Solas and Varric's banter though, is far, far more interesting.

Both of them are tricksters, both value the past greatly in their own way, both understands the power of a story, both of them lie to the Inquisitor, and both would rather remain the side character than step up to take the spotlight.

And yet they are different. Opposites almost.

One of Varric's defining feature as a person is that he cares about all his friends and how those friendships transcends the chains of status, having become friends with dwarves, Qunari, kossiths, humans, elves, templars, mages, seekers, antivans, fereldens, kirkwallers, orlesians, tevinters, anders, revains, avvar, and so on.

Solas single defining feature is how he sees everyone he does not knows except for his own, very small list of what he considers countrymen, as not things, and is willing to destroy the world for them to prosper.

Varric stays out of the spotlight cause he likes being the power behind the throne. Solas does it because as the Herald's Judas, he doesn't want anyone to question the many, many questions about him further than they have to.

Varric lives in the present, but respects the past. Solas in the past, and is terrified of the present.

Which leads to some of the most interesting banter in the game.

Solas: By the end of Hard in Hightown, almost every character is revealed as a spy or a traitor.

Varric: Wait, you read my book?

Solas: It was in the Inquisition library. Everyone but Donnen turned out to be in disguise. Is that common?

Varric: Are we still talking about books or are you asking if everyone I know is a secret agent?

Solas: Are there many tricksters in dwarven literature?

Varric: A handful, but they're the exception. Mostly they're just honoring the ancestors. It's very dull stuff. Human literature? Now there's where you'll find the tricky, clever, really deceptive types.

Solas: Curious.

Varric: Not really. Dwarves write how they want things to be. Humans write to figure out how things are.

Solas questions Varric about the to him, alien Dwarven liturature, trying to figure out what the new, "lesser" dwarves might write about when no longer part of a hivemind.

Varric gives it to him straight, but there is a deeper bit of character here.

Varric is able to explain this to Solas, because as a man who understands Dwarven culture, strengths, flaws, and weaknesses, and how it ticks, as well as undoubtedly having read a lot of dwarven literature, Varric is able to point out all it's shortcomings, or more accurately the way Human and Dwarven literature trends differentiate due to different cultural values.

Varric: You really spend most of your time in the Fade?

Solas: As much as is possible. The Fade contains a wealth of knowledge for those who know where to look.

Varric: Sure, but I don't know how you dream, let alone wander around in there.

Varric: Especially when the shit that comes out of the Fade generally seems pretty cranky.

Solas: So are humans, but we continue to interact with them... when we must.

Here Varric pries a bit into a topic he(If you took him with you in night terrors) only has experienced once before for himself, from someone who knows more about the fade and the veil than anyone.

Solas ends it on a much darker note than Varric assumes though, as what he means is, we have to tolerate them "for now."

Solas: Is it true that the entire dwarven economy relies upon lyrium?

Varric: Mostly. We've got the nug market cornered as well.

Solas: And the dwarves of Orzammar have never studied lyrium?

Varric: If they have, they certainly haven't shared anything up here. Why?

Solas: It is the source of all magic, save that which mages bring themselves.

Solas: Dwarves alone have the ability to mine it safely. I wondered if they had sought to learn more.

Varric: The folks back in Orzammar don't care much about anything but tradition.

So here we have Varric flat out bullshit Solas in several ways. He knows way more about lyrium than most, having studied red lyrium himself, and yet he does not give that information to Soals, the way he does with the Herald, showing that deep down, Varric trusts you far more than Solas, if not as much as Hawke.

He also knows that both surface and underground Dwarves have deeper knowledge of lyrium than any human, being it's the source of all the enchantments and magic, and that while they might not know it's origins, they understand how it works, and how to use it, transport it, store it, and so on.

If there is one thing Orzammar is good at, and not stuck in tradition, it's exploiting Lyrium to the hilt.

And yet he bullshits Solas about it completely. Because this is an early banter, the likely reason is simply that he does not trust him.

Which given his other important lies is not surprising.

And solas later recognizes this.

Solas: I find the fall of the dwarven lands confusing.

Varric: What's so confusing about endless darkspawn?

Solas: A great deal, although that is a different matter. Dwarves control the flow of lyrium. They could tighten their grip on it.

Varric: It's hard to get the attention of the humans when the darkspawn aren't up here messing with their stuff.

Solas: You're active in the Carta. You know your people could tug the purse strings. You could claim sovereign land on the surface, or demand help restoring the dwarven kingdom, but you don't.

Varric: You're not saying anything I haven't said myself, Chuckles. Orzammar is what it is

Solas Attacks Varric's arguments from adifferent angle here, without directly calling him a liar from the banter before, as he points out just how much power Orzammar has through it's economic might, how even if they know how to use Lyrium so effectively, they haven't been wielding that might to effecrively hammer out an anti Darkspawn coalition to crush the darkspawn in their own dens and wipe them out from the source.

Realistically, the dwarves are rhe only ones who could see it done, and yet they havent. Because before Bhelen, there was never a king willing to upend the entire system to get results.

Varric doesn't actually give his direct thoughts in this bit of banter, but it goes into future ones. Before that though, im gonna quickly cover another bit of banter.

Solas: Do you ever miss life beneath the earth? The call of the Stone?

Varric: Nah. Whatever the Stone - capital S - is, it was gone by the time my parents had me.

Solas: But... do you miss it?

Varric: How could I miss what I never had?

Varric: But say I did have that sense, that connection to the Stone. What would it cost me?

Varric: Would I lose my friends up here? Would I stop telling stories?

Varric: I like who I am. If I want to hear songs, I'll go to the tavern.

Solas: You are wiser than most.

Solas worships the past, to such a degree that he thinks being part of a hivemind under the titans, must have been better for the Dwarves, because of what it allowed them to accomplish by magic, and more importantly that it's what they used to be.

And what they used to be, must be better than what they are now, because the past is better.

Meanwhile Varric is content with the present. He never had stone sense, so why worry about it? Why dream of it, why become his parents? That would be absolutely awful, so why not embrace what you have now.

Though Solas doesn't know it, his backhanded praise here is actually even moreso than he knows.

Its backhanded by intention, because he acknowledges that varric is wiser than those who would wail about their lost glory... But as we'll see in the following banter, he regards all Dwarves, regardless of wheter they are like Varric, as lessers and fools. So varric is better... But he is still a fool.

Meanwhile, on Varric's part, it's even more backhanded than Solas intends because Varric is doing exactly what he's saying he isn't here.

Dreaming of glory days when all was simplier and he was a happier man. He's not dreaming of stone sense itself, but the sentiment is the same.

And he knows it. That's one of the saddest things about Varric in DAI. He became his parents, his worst fear, but he's very much aware of that fact.

Solas: Is there at least a movement to reunite Orzammar and Kal-Sharok?

Varric: What is it with you, Chuckles? Why do you care so much about the dwarves?

Solas: Once, in the Fade, I saw the memory of a man who lived alone on an island. Most of his tribe had fallen to beasts or disease. His wife had died in childbirth. He was the only one left. He could have struck out on his own to find a new land, new people. But he stayed. He spent every day catching fish in a little boat, every night drinking fermented fruit juice and watching the stars.

Varric: I can think of worse lives.

Solas: How can you be happy surrendering, knowing it will all end with you? How can you not fight?

Varric: I suppose it depends on the quality of the fermented fruit juice.

Solas: So it seems.

---

Solas:: I am sorry to have bothered you with my questions about your people Varric. I see so much of this world in dreams. Humans, my own people, even qunari. Dwarves alone were lost to me, save scattered fragments of memory where some spirit cared to watch. Now I know why I see so little.

Varric: And why is that?

Solas:: Dwarves are the severed arm of a once mighty hero, lying in a pool of blood. Undirected. Whatever skill of arms it had, gone forever. Although it might twitch to give the appearance of life, it will never dream.

Varric: I'd avoid mentioning that to any Carta, Chuckles. They might not take it the right way.

---

Varric: What's with you and the doom stuff? Are you always this cheery or is the hole in the sky getting to you?

Solas: I've no idea what you mean.

Varric: All the "fallen empire" crap you go on about. What's so great about empires anyway?

Varric: So we lost the Deep Roads, and Orzammar is too proud to ask for help. So what? We're not Orzammar and we're not our empire.

Varric: There are tens of thousands of us living up here in the sunlight now, and it's not that bad.

Varric: Life goes on. It's just different than it used to be.

Solas: And you have no concept of what that difference cost you.

Varric: I know what it didn't cost me. I'm still here, even after all those thaigs fell.

---

Solas: You truly are content to sit in the sun, never wondering what you could've been, never fighting back.

Varric: Ha, you've got it all wrong, Chuckles. This is fighting back.

Solas: How does passively accepting your fate constitute a fight?

Varric: In that story of yours—-the fisherman watching the stars, dying alone. You thought he gave up, right?

Solas: Yes.

Varric: But he went on living. He lost everyone, but he still got up every morning. He made a life, even if it was alone.

Varric: That's the world. Everything you build, it tears down. Everything you've got, it takes. And it's gone forever.

Varric: The only choices you get are to lie down and die or keep going. He kept going. That's as close to beating the world as anyone gets.

Solas: Well said. Perhaps I was mistaken

This entire banter line is about Varric and Solas.

On solas part it's about his very well spoken and articulated racist opinions on the modern dwarves compared to those who came before and trying to rack his brian around them not going to the lengths he himself would have gone to save their race.

Also the fact they are no longer part of the Titan hivemind. He's really stuck on that for reasons we don't really fully understand.

However, far, far more importantly this is about Varric's entire storyline in DAI.

Varric talks about Orzammar, about the loss of the deep roads, and yet they are all still there, still fighting, still marching on, rather than laying down and dying.

That is the true strength of the Dwarven race.

The ability to keep going even after losing everything. The original dwarves lost the titans and their magic. They marched on.

The dwarven empire lost the deep roads, and all but two thaigs. They marched on.

The surface dwarves lost their caste the last remains of their magic, and their status in dwarven society. They marched on.

Varric lost kirkwall. He lost his entire friend group that was the people who he loved more than any other group of people he has ever know. He lost his home that he grew up in and loved. He lost his parents and he lost Barthrand, the only remaining family he had, and who despite it all deeply, deeply loved. He lost Bianca, a teenage infatuation he never was able to get over.

And he lost Hawke. Either to Anders kickstsrting the war, or to the fade.

He lost everything he loved.

And yet He. Marched. On.

Varric's story in DAI is an understated one, one that isn't really given story focus, but unlike all the rest of the attempts at telling a more subtle story with the companions, this one actually worked.

Varric's story, is about his march onwards.

He lost everything due to Anders actions, and yet here he is. Marching forward through life. He hasn't laid down and died. He's still here. He's still fighting.

He still has hope.

And so he marches on through the twilight of his life, and keeps going, even if he loses Hawke forever... He keeps going, and he makes it through his depression, and grief to make a new life for himself in Kirkwall.

A new Kirkwall, but Kirkwall nonetheless.

Solas: That crossbow is remarkable, Varric. I am surprised the dwarves have not made more of them.

Varric: The woman who made Bianca would rather that not happen. Wars are bloody enough as it is.

Varric: A crossbow that fires this far and this quickly with so little training? Every battle would be a massacre.

Solas: Indeed. I am surprised, not disappointed.

Here we get a lot of insight into Varric... But also a moment of great moral ambiguity.

Everything Varric says here is true... But it would also mean his people finally, finally being able to destroy the darkspawn for good and all. Such a tech advantage would allow them to wipe the blighted Creatures from existence with ease.

Varric is more than brilliant enough to understand this... But he chooses not to think about it, or wheter it's a good course of actions, because he is shackled to Bianca even now, even still.

Bianca wants this crossbow not to be on the market, so he doesn't put it on the market, regardless of good or bad.

Varric: Hey Chuckles, do you ever play Wicked Grace?

Solas: I'm not much of a gambler anymore.

Varric: You don't have to play for real coin, that's just for keeping score.

Solas: What do you play for?

Varric: Conversation mostly. That way I win no matter how the cards fall.

This is a followup to Varric's original introductionary short story from way back in the day.

From that one we learn that Varric doesn't actually drink anything served at the Hanged man, he just orders a wine glass or beer mug, because he knows people get nervous if you don't drink in a bar, so he crafts an illusion to aid him in his rogue life.

Vivienne

So like a number of these I'm not gonna cover them in full, as while good, and well written, and paints a very clear picture of Vivienne, they're not exactly deep character pieces for Varrix... But I do wanna cover a few.

Vivienne: Am I to understand, Varric, that you knew the apostate who destroyed Kirkwall's chantry?

Varric: Unfortunately, yes.

Vivienne: What could he possibly have hoped to accomplish with such madness?

Varric: Exactly what he got: a whole lot of innocent people killing each other.

Vivienne: I take it he's no longer on your Wintersend gift list.

Varric: Depends. Does a flaming sack of bronto dung count as a gift?

Vivienne: Only if you tie it with a silk ribbon, my dear.

More Varric hating Anders, and laying all the blame of the Mage Templar Wars and ruining his life on him.

Vivienne: Tell me, Varric, who is the protagonist of this serial?

Varric: You know, we're so far into spoiler territory right now, I think I better stop talking.

Vivienne: Come now, darling. You can tell me.

Varric: Not on your life, Iron Lady. The best way to ensure a book's nevered finish is to tell someone your entire plot.

More Varric showcasing he cannot stand spoilers coming out, and it destroys his entire ability to write.

Vivienne: You know, Varric darling, I read your Hard in Hightown.

Varric: You did? Seriously?

Vivienne: Most of the Imperial Court did. It was in fashion a few winters ago.

Varric: Just how much gold is my publisher stealing from me?

One detail i really like about Varric, is that he tries to create this image of himself as always bring in control and all that... And then he has moments like this where his regular ass publisher swindles him for a shit ton of money.

Vivienne: How many chapters will this book be, Varric dear?

Varric: Well, the first one will come out in twelve chapters.

Vivienne: The first one?

Varric: I've read enough Orlesian fictions to know you never tell a story there in fewer than three complete books. They think you're just warming up after one.

Vivienne: And what happens to the scheming duchess in the first book?

Varric: Are you asking for spoilers, Madame De Fer?

Vivienne: Hints, darling. Not spoilers.

More Varric showcasing he understands other cultures and how they write stories.

[aerialflight]

fic rec list (in other words, i need a list for my neurotic brain and its obsessions, f me)

Yeah, everything said above. also, the deadpool and wolverine brainrot is real. i only watched it a week ago. nfeiwofpewafe.

-

[Deadpool and Wolverine] (i'm still desperately searching for more. i just need a list for the ones that won't leave me alone fyufivuohbjl)

How To Pay For Rent 💸 by fictionfeast

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson (i still can't believe this is the ship name, they actually put worst wolverine as a specification. it's such a unique dynamic and relationship that we NEED that differentiation. amazing.)

To pay for rent, Logan and Wade take odd jobs on Craigslist.

(listen, LISTEN. just from the fact craiglist is involved, you KNOW it's gonna be off the walls crack and hilarity. i swear, this fic went in directions i never in a million years would've predicted, it's amazing. the voices for these characters are impeccable and i, too, would like to shake deadpool like a snowglobe so some goddamn honestly will barf out. logan, you have my sympathies. please read, i'm literally going insane.)

shattered glass by anarkissed

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

At first, Wade is pretty sure it all starts with the bullet- the one Logan had held in his teeth and spit out like it was a prize. Or maybe it starts in the Honda Odyssey. Or maybe it had started way back with Logan's smile. That first sardonic one when they'd met. Or maybe it's the way Logan is always staring at him. Or maybe- "I think you're enjoying this too much." "Maybe you're not enjoying it enough." It’s more bite than kiss, more claim than caress, but it’s their mouths connecting all the same, and Wade gasps, hoarsely, as blood wells up from his lips and Logan tongues it away like it’s his god-given right. Oh, oh oh, oh- he’s crazy. He’s so crazy. Wade has never wanted anyone so badly in his entire life. Wade tries to figure out where whatever he has with Logan started. (And he's kind of hoping he never has to see how it ends.)

Part 1 of dying engine (poolverine/deadclaws)

(i'm not fucking kidding when i say this is my favorite d&w fic. i want to gnaw this in my mouth and develop vampire canines as i sharpen them every fucking reread. there are passages here that i reread like a fucking lunatic and i use the find in page option for the word 'crazy' just so i can go to my favorite part. and the fact there's a freaking part 2? that has logan's pov in it??? and it makes me feel just as unhinged??? it makes me want to go apeshit. please read. for the love of god.)

how easy you are to need by Patricia_Sage

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

Wade smiles when the doctor opens the door. "Hi, we have a vet appointment at 2:00. Please tell me he doesn't have rabies because I have been scratched and bitten plenty." *** Logan gets treatment for adamantium poisoning. Wade helps.

Part 2 of he has risen, babygirl

(i fucking CACKLED reading this, omfg. also, wade's version of helping is both sweet and freaking hilarious, i love this idiot so much. and this fic! addresses the fact logan probably has ptsd medical trauma and i love that. it's hardly ever addressed and i appreciate how it's shown here. also, it's a series! part 1 is great too, you don't need to read it to understand part 2 though, dw.)

Void by RovingOtter

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

After a week without contact, Logan leaves Wade a weird voicemail.

(i'm religiously checking in on this for updates. i know the summary doesn't say anything, so i'll say it here. logan becomes aware of the fourth wall and it's so fascinating??? a genuine look on what happens if the wolverine becomes aware that he's a fictional character and the exploration of that premise here is *chefs kiss* delicious. and how wade reacts to it and how they both deal with the aftermath of this development is so interesting and god, i NEED to know how this fic will go. genuinely one of those fics that have a premise i've never thought about before and it's GLORIOUS!)

where soul meets body by Edgebug

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

"I'll probably see you around?" "Probably not," Logan says, something in his spine still shaking even now, and Wade looks at him with those huge dark eyes that look--hurt, maybe, heartbroken, and Logan knows he has to get up and leave before he can't. Each step is agony increasing, the thing in his spine trembling ever-harder and then Wade calls his name and he stops, turns, sees those eyes again; pleading, desperate. A rush of emotion slams into his hindbrain, it feels half foreign and half his own; don't do this can't do this without you please stay please stay stay stay stay let me stay stay stay "Come home with me," Wade blurts out, and Logan finds that he's taken steps toward Wade without realizing it, closing the yawning gap between them, and the thing in his spine relaxes just a little. "Okay," he says. (In which something very interesting happens underneath the Time Ripper, and Wade and Logan deal with the aftermath.)

(they vulcan mind melded and now can't live without the other. i just love this author's writing and i read every one of their d&w fics. i'm in love with their characterization of not just d&w but the rest of the cast as well! and the banter and genuinely fun interactions between d&w has me kicking my feet and giggling like a school girl. please read, i totally recommend this fic and the rest of the author's other fics XD)

your fool in this game for two by abillionstars

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

“Have you ever lived with anyone before?” At Wade’s question, Logan pauses to think. Scratches his balls for a second, and says, “I lived at Xavier’s school for a while, before I left. Lived in a clapboard boarding house about seventy years back. A couple of times, I slept in a park with other people nearby. Do those count?” “That was a rhetorical question,” says Wade. “Some might even call it an accusatory one. Mostly because—dude. I’m a fucking mess. But you’re even worse.” (two loser loners, falling in love.)

(this is crack. the peak of romance, the very height of big squishy feelings. it's perfect. god, i am utterly trash for this fic, it's so fucking good fnewiofpew)

Love You All Over by FinelyDressedSpacemen

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

The bad guys have love spells now, apparently. Logan gets nailed. Wade tries not to. With great power over your sexiest friend comes great emotional responsibility.

(where wade tries his best to respect logan and logan makes this, so freaking hard for him lmao. lovesick logan is truly the most flirty version of wolverine and it's incredible. it's like if hugh jackman himself is trying to romance the shit out of you. wade really is the stronger person, incredible. anyway, this was a joy to read and if you like musicals, this is definitely for you <3)

I'm the worst at what I do by Thestarvedghost

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

Logan finds out from Wade after everything is said and done, universes saved and friends met, that most hims across the multiverse have some sort of memory issue, one way or another. Logan wishes he was that fucking lucky. He remembers it all.

Part 1 of No end and no beginning

(i recommend this entire series, the progression on d&w's relationship has me singing! it's so sweet and fluffy! well, as fluffy as 2 murderous, self-hating bastards can be anyway lol.)

-

[Dimension 20] (Fantasy High, A Court of Fey and Flowers, A Crown of Candy)

interchange by fangirl_squee

Fandom: Fantasy High

Oh, the Bad Kids? Yeah, in that group they have [checks notes] a pirate cleric, a goblin bard, a Helioic fighter, an elven barbarian, a tiefling rogue, and a half-orc wizard.

(it's so interesting how different yet the same the bad kids are even with their class changes. man, the idea of fabian being a freaking cleric still makes me want to cackle. he'd be so much more Exasperated by the bad kids, especially freshman fabian X'D. also barbarian adaine has my whole fucking heart.)

yeah you held me the whole way through, when i couldn’t say the words like you by zedif_y

Fandom: Fantasy High

Ship: Riz Gukgak/Fabian Aramais Seacaster

When Fabian is ten, his Papa tells him the story of how he married his mother. It’s a gory tale, one that involves a cut eye and bodies hitting the deck. He tells Fabian of a love that sent him to his knees, that leads a man like him– fearsome and powerful, the greatest pirate to ever live– to start a family. A love that gave him Fabian. --- A study on Fabian, grief, and, ultimately— love.

(an exploration on fabian's idea of what love is. god, it's so well written. i love this fic and absolutely recommend it! <3)

white knuckles by thathastu

Fandom: Fantasy High

Ships: Fabian/everyone (but all unrequited)

His ex-fling’s little sister. Two people in committed relationships who also happen to be in the same mega famous rock band. A heartbroken lesbian who doesn’t want to be involved with men in any way. And Riz fucking Gukgak. Fabian Aramais Seacaster, son of Bill Seacaster, finds himself falling for all of his friends.

(seeing the bad kids through fabian's eyes made me realize why the bad kids would be considered attractive to people who know them! it's so sweet how much fabian cares and pays attention to them and the constant feeling of 'oh no oh no' both made me want to laugh and coo at him lmao)

life in a wallflower garden with my friends by sickoflosiingsoulmates for lesbiansweetflips

Fandom: Fantasy High

Ship: Ayda Aguefort/Figueroth Faeth

This is what Ayda has spent her entire life searching after. This is what she built the friendship section in the library in hopes of, what she spent long, lonely nights dreaming of. A night with a friend, a true friend, laughing and talking about nothing in particular. [or, ayda finds friends in the bad kids]

(ayda has friends! ayda has frieeenndss!! i'm so so in love with her and this fic is so fluffy and sweet! gah, instant shot of endorphins, guarantee!)

allies and fealty, or, on finding the first knight of the new Court of Craft by fangirl_squee

Fandom: A Court of Fey and Flowers

Ship: Binx Choppley/Captain K. P. Hob

The enemy of my enemy is kind of my friend. Or something.

(i'm always a sucker for rare pairs and man, this is something i didn't even know i wanted. i love how slowly and carefully they build trust in each other, especially binx who is so secretive and initiated this relationship in the first place. by the end, i completely bought this ship and the potential for it.)

I've walked a fragile line and I've fallen down by jadeandquartz

Fandom: A Crown of Candy

Anger is burning in Lapin’s chest. It is bitter, and it is bloody, and it shines brighter than any Bulb the church might care to invent. Normally, he leaves his emotions be. He cannot afford to let feelings drive him forwards. Remaining logical is the only safe way to play the game of politics - and if you do not play it safe, you die. And if you die, then what was the point? But nothing about their predicament is normal. So, fuck playing the game safely. Fuck that. The world will not play safe with the lives of those he loves. *** In which Belizabeth Brassica is looking for a heretic, and Lapin confesses to his apostasy to protect the House of Rocks.

(one of the first crown of candy fics i read and i never looked back. lapin survive stories makes me so feral and god i love this cantankerous bunny so so much fnewiofewp)

to leave this all behind (halo round his head) by grumpyhedgehogs

Fandom: A Crown of Candy

Lapin blinks slowly at Brassica as she steps up to the bars of his cell, the guards splitting around her like so much water over a stone. He inclines his head, trying for regal and probably failing. “Heretic.” Her voice grates against his eardrums. “You have awakened.” “Zealot. You haven’t killed me.” Lapin replies, dry.

(another, much longer fic where lapin survives and i'm so in love with how much detail and fantastic characterization this fic has, not just for lapin but for the whole cast! the day i stop loving the lapin survives trope is the day i die.)

-

[The Terror] (yeah, i know, extremely random, and yet here we are. it's due to this animatic here that i was introduced to this show in the first place. def recommend both the show and this artist *thumbs up*)

I'll be Homeward Bound in Time by clandestinegardenias

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames

Back in the Arctic, stuffed two to a sleeping sack and trying to keep each other alert, he and James used to name every good type of thing they would eat when they got back, knowing–as they thought–the time would never come. 'Cream puffs', James had sighed one frigid night in a partial feverish delirium. Francis could hardly see him but for the lightest starlight, yet he had heard the smile evident in his voice all the same. That close, he had nearly felt it. --- Hailed as heroes on their miraculous return to England, Francis and James fail to cope, but nonetheless manage to fall together.

(i love how warm they are here, how clearly these two depend on one another and find joy despite the fact london is trying it's best to stamp out this closeness. post-rescue is always such an interesting time where they get to reflect and be traumatized by what happened in the arctic and the lack of understanding that is found when they go home. it's done so well here and man, i just love these two together. the ship that sails their ships lmao)

death is a sailing ship by Maleann

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames

"James had died knowing that his heart, the core of his very being that no biographer would ever know, would carry on in Francis Crozier. Would be protected, cherished even, because Francis deemed him worthy of such care. Oh, how he had loved Francis then. He had been at peace with this being his last living thought. It’s his only thought now. In this undead life, his love has nowhere to go."  ___ James Fitzjames wakes up in the Afterlife. It looks strangely similar to his cabin on Erebus. (Updated with amazing artwork by Marella!)

(the fic is so!! kind!!! to all its characters! and fitzjames is in full form here, i love how it's him that's trying so hard to take care of his men, despite sir john and his lack of empathy. to have fitzjames damn what is proper and trying to do his best as always even in the freaking afterlife, god. you can just see how much fitzjames changed from the beginning of the show to his end in this fic. how all the characters changed, really. every character here is given room to heal and face the consequences of their actions and there were moments that it seriously made me cry. this is my fave fic in this entire list, it just does an amazing job of showing compassion to all its characters and i love it.)

there but for the grace of- by TheGoodDoctor

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames

“I wish you would stop being such a martyr,” a languid voice says quietly, drawling as well as a man can with two missing molars and a glassy, bloodshot eye, leaking all the while from open chest wounds. Francis is rather impressed with his dedication to the role, somewhere under the roil of fury and exhaustion. “You know as well as I do that you could have this bed sometimes, if it didn’t suit you to stomp about with blacked eyes and a put-upon expression.” “And what should we do with you all the while, Commander,” he says, all on a great sigh, “wrap you in sailcloth already? Come, man, you’re either well enough to cease bleeding on my sheets or too ill to get out of them, you can’t have it both ways.” “Francis,” Ross began, “I did not undertake to accept the position of second on Franklin’s expedition for you, as you asked.”

(this fic scratched a brain itch i didn't even know i had. it's so interesting to think about, the idea of crozier not being on the expedition and instead being the person who rescues them instead. fitzjames and crozier actually developing a relationship based on this premise, without the shared trauma, is so so intriguing to me and i wish i had more of this. also, the fact crozier is so much more mentally healthier than canon due to ross makes me want to laugh and cry. god, if only.)

out of the sea came he, still hid in mist by dazydaisy for shortcrust

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames

You make bargains you cannot keep. You make promises you plan to break. You give things that are not yours to give.

(a haunting, magical realism fic that feels like a gothic fairy tale. exactly my kind of fic! and if it's yours? definitely a good read *thumbs up*)

At Civil Twilight by lieutenant_iceberg

“Well,” said Francis. “Jopson, will you see what you can do with this three-year-old peace offering? A cup for each of us, and one for you.” “Sir,” said Jopson, collecting one of the bags. “You’ll be up all night if you take coffee now.” “I’ll be up all night anyway. Go, Jopson, go.” When he was gone, Francis got up from the table, and they stared into the depths of the bag together. Finally, Francis cleared his throat and said, “All right, then, James. How have you fared since I hit you?” A few days after Carnivale, Crozier and Fitzjames make a faltering attempt to talk things over.

Part 1 of Civil Twilight

(oooh, the very start of their friendship! how to make peace when their entire relationship is based on animosity and contempt! the dialogue and characterization of these two in this series is so good and i absolutely recommend!)

rebuilding by wildcard_47 for 20thcenturyvole

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames

Once they stepped ashore, a fey dark-haired man burst through the crowd a few heads down from Jane Franklin. When Fitzjames saw his brother, he startled, and when Will surged forward in the first press of the crowds around the returned—elfin face wet with tears as he swept James into a fierce embrace—only then did Fitzjames release his grip on Francis’s arm. Only then did Francis feel as if he could step away at last. Written for the 2023 Fall Fitzier Exchange, for the prompt: "Post-canon AU where, once they get home, Crozier and Fitzjames are riddled with guilt and trauma, and deal with their feelings by throwing themselves into caring for the surviving men..."

(i'm always so fascinated by post-rescue stories that actually deal with the aftermath, the logistics of it all. how the characters struggle to handle their own traumas, how they help one another through their experiences, all of it. and how both crozier and fitzjames step up for their men even now, even when they're no longer captains in the arctic and have to deal with london and all it's trappings. this fic handles all that so very well, i love it <3)

As Bullet Speaks to Gun by pointyshades

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames, Thomas Jopson/Edward Little

Against all odds, they are rescued. Cornelius Hickey is court-martialed for his mutiny, and the whole mess of the expedition is unfurled in front of the public. With their names being dragged through the mud, Francis Crozier and James Fitzjames reach out to each other. Meanwhile, Thomas Jopson seeks revenge for what he believes is his captain's betrayal, and Edward Little tries to come to terms with the truth.

(yes!! edward little my beloved gets to shine here! and jopson is so bitter and angry and messy, it's great! again, i love fics that tackle what would happen post-rescue and how london would react to it. the trials, both actual and mental, they have to face in order to move on and be happy (oh please oh please) is handled expertly and i love it! crozier/fitzjames ship is a little more background in this fic compared to jopson/little, but honestly? i'm so sucked into the latter ship that it doesn't matter. both ships are written very well here and again, my beloved edward little is glorious in this fic and i love it! you go edward! woohoo!!!)

Principles of Magnetism (a Comedy of Manners) by acaramelmacchiato

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames

The one where they're married but it's still Victorian times and also it's an accident.

(you don't understand, this fic is so fucking funny. it's so goddamn victorian and sir john is so jane-austen-silly-characters coded. i want to both shake his hand for making this premise happen in the first place, and punch him in his punchable face. and crozier is perfectly characterized here, i can visually picture his disgruntled expressions so clearly in my mind, it's incredible.)

Thaw by orphan_account

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames, Past Captain Francis Crozier/Sophia Cracroft

Courteous, charming Fitzjames, whittled down to maturity by the North, and being there, very obviously, not as Francis's right-hand man or as his comrade, but as his mate; a soulmate. Sophia had no need to look at Francis’s face, at the discoloration that would have turned one of his blue eyes into the good-coffee brown of Fitzjames's, to know it, so blatant and luminous a thing it was.

Part 1 of A Victorian Soulmate AU

(very interesting fic where one can choose their soulmates, choose who they want to bond with for life. and the fact it's sophia's pov and how she deals with this fact is handled so carefully and full of goodwill. it makes me want to applaud. i love how clear it is that they're grown ass adults willing to discuss and make peace with one another because they're all genuinely good people who want happiness both for others and themselves. this fic feels like a flower that you hold in your hands to admire it's beauty and delicacy.)

And It Is Now, And It Is Here by 20thcenturyvole, pointyshades

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames

Before the ships are trapped in the ice, James Fitzjames sees a terrible vision of the future, a harbinger of his own death. Before the ships are trapped in the ice, Francis Crozier is visited by a tender apparition, an angel wearing James Fitzjames' face. They are both seeing the same vision. Whether they can heed its warning is another matter entirely.

(when the ghost of your future haunts you, you better believe it changes to the plot. i love the dichotomy of how crozier and fitzjames reacts to ghost fitzjames! it's so interesting and i was on the edge of my seat the entire time i read this. if you want to know how it all ends, please read! i promise this fic is a ride you want to get on.)

Waistcoats! or, Life Before the Passage by sadsparties

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames, Lady Ann Ross/Sir James Clark Ross, Lt Henry T. D. Le Vesconte/Original Character

Commander James Fitzjames of the Royal Navy is the Best Man that a best friend could ever ask for. A chance meeting forces him to share his arctic expedition duties with one Captain Francis R. M. Crozier, and perhaps other duties as well.

(listen, the terror is a horror show and i both want and need lighthearted fics in order to deal with all the horrors lol. but seriously, this fic was genuinely just fun to read and i love the banter and slowly developing friendship and relationship between crozier and fitzjames! truly the romantic comedy fic in this fandom. XD)