#don't be suspicious don't be suspicious (8)
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your relationship hcs with smc is so cute im gonna microwave him but alas brainrot is what afflicts me instead
imagining how the spire of all knowledge/deceit when u get into a relationship with shadow milk gradually changes to fit some of your tastes—one corner of the spire are purely things you like. paintbrushes because you like painting? say no more! have an art room, too! oh, you like plants? well, look no further! there's a suspiciously large space in the spire that has blooms of your favorite flowers for MILES. you're a sleepyhead? no worries, you can stay in this gigantic plush bed! (of course, it is naturally close to the jester, as always.)
he's so down bad for his little doll to the point even the atmosphere changes. the rumor-weavers and painters all are hyperaware of when their lord's most treasured partner grace any of the halls purely because the usual suffocating and lifeless halls seem more vibrant, as if welcoming the one who accompanies their master so dearly. it's like even the spire itself can't lie to YOU, because every aspect of it bends to your will. what was the saying again? like owner, like pet (spire)?
i imagine if reader was in ep 8 and truthless recluse accidentally comes across them he's definitely confused because the spire's eyes literally just glare at him and when he points it out and you turn to look it just looks like a flower path to you because you wanted to head to one of the many rooms the spire constructed
continuing on: it's also good to note that whenever you are around, the residents of the spire swear they see the normally eerie eyes look almost happy, and, wait.... are they forming heart shapes? and everyone knows how obvious it is, because those eyes are exactly like the eyes of the beast of deceit. again, love brings the mighty to their knees.
that's all! i hope u don't mind me lurking here from now on, i really love ur writing style and how you can get the jester to be so accurate to the point i got out of my writing slump to dish out this amalgamation of words 😭🙏
-🃏 anon
No because he's so down bad and EVERYONE knows it. He's just... nicer when you're around yk? The air is less suffocating, the walls are brighter, and there's something gleeful about the spire.
I mean, it's literally an extension of him, so of course it changes around with how he feels. You don't usually get to see it when it's gloomy, because it changes the second you step into it (because Shadow Milk knows you're there long before you get inside.) You just think that's what it's like, and are very surprised when someone suggests it changes for you.
He's aware that it happens, of course, but equally, it's subconscious. He doesn't control when it happens, which makes him a little crazy. You've got quite the hold over him and you don't even know.
If you mention not liking something in the spire, he will change it immediately. Everything, everything! MUST be to your liking if he wishes to convince you to live here with him permanently! It's rather silly, and he makes a huge show of it each time. Adding unnecessary flair and effects to get you giggling -- the halls always seem to brighten at the sound of your laugh.
If you do move in, you get to see a lot more of the spire's range -- aka, more of Shadow Milk. The halls typically have that super happy lighthearted feel wherever you are, but Shadow Milk can't keep them from changing around all the time. Not when he can't control his own emotions 90% of the time.
When he gets jealous, you first get to see them change more negatively. The walls warp and become almost constrictive, particularly toward the cookie who's pissing him off. The atmosphere is heavier, and the eyes around the spire that usually seem so happy are glaring knives into the cookie's back.
When you walk away from the cookie and give those eyes attention, the halls return to their usual bright and happy luster. It's odd to see how they change and move around you, though. You can certainly play with this if you want to, it would be pretty easy to do considering how affected by you he is.
#bunni babbles 🍓#x reader#crk x you#crk x reader#crk#cookie run kingdom#shadow milk x you#shadow milk cookie x you#shadow milk cookie crk#shadow milk crk#shadow milk x reader
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I have a love/hate relationship with having nothing to do. One one hand, for once my to-do list is relatively simple or empty, and I get to be free to do my own stuff. On the other hand, why do i have nothing to do? I never have 'nothing to do'- I need to find something to do right NOW, or I will combust from sheer paranoia of having forgotten a Big Thing To Do and actually it turns out I I am very busy even though I literally have nothing to do.
#my post#sput chatters#my to do list is SUSPICIOUSLY empty for tomorrow#WHY#I would rather have more stuff to freak out over bc now I'm freaking out over the very little things I actually have To Do#which would have been very simple activities for me To Do were it any other regular busy day with 10 to 8 or so things To Do#but now I need something to freak out about because I DON'T have 10 to 8 things To Do to freak out about#so now I'm bricking it over my very little 1 or 2 things To Do for tomorrow- which- AS I SAID- ARE VERY SIMPLE ACTIVITIES I SHOULDN'T#BE FREAKING OUT THIS MUCH ABOUT#but I am- so here we are.#I'm glad to have little things to do!#but also!
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Guys...I think Whit is the culprit.
Sorry guys this is gonna be a long one
You know I'm a big believe of Whit mastermind theory and depending on how the trial goes he could still be the mastermind despite being the culprit but uhm...
Mf has like an 80 pourcent chance of being the culprit
My theory of Levi being the culprit kinda has went down the drain though i'm not really that upset about it because it was admitidely the most generic route.
I still do not buy for a second Eden is the culprit mainly because it contradicts a lot of her behaviors and also is only really based on one piece of evidence that could be explained by something else.
I think the most credible option to me right now, is Whit, especially because with how certain things are laid out for us we can actually make out a concrete motive for why Whit would do this.
I'm gonna write down what I think and explain why I believe Whit is most likely the culprit (also i'll deal with a couple of holes and explain why the theory still works alongside them) and also i'll use a couple of speculations made by other people as well
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I think it's known by everyone that the way Whit's secret was revealed is extremely strange, for like two reasons.
One, it means that it's impossible for anyone (including Whit himself, we'll get into that later) to have known what Whit's secret was, or to confirm it with certainty in the trial. We only have Whit's word for it.
Second, Whit takes a very strange amount of time until saying what secret he has, like right after Hu denied to say which secret she has. Which is extremely weird because if his life was so uneventful wouldn't he have managed to pick out a secret as blatant as this.
I thought this would be meant as a red herring to put suspicions on Whit however with Levi revealing his secret and this loose thread still not being addressed, I think it has to be important to the case at hand.
Now, despite people pointing this out every analysis that tries to handle this kinda goes into a brick wall because it immediatly assumes that Whit is lying about the dead mother secret being his. However there's too much pointing towards Whit having the dead mom secret.
No, I think we're going about this the wrong way. It's not about us not knowing what Whit's secret was, it's that Whit had no idea what secret actually was his
In fact that's mentionned before trial on how Whit just didn't know WHAT his secret even was, and no one could really tell him what it was because Rose threw it away
But that's weird right ? You would think Whit would know that his dead mother would be the likely secret, you could argue he just didn't want to share with everyone but that still doesn't explain the strange amount of time until he revealed he had Rose's secret.
And if he didn't want to share that his mom was dead, why did he let everyone the opportunity to say if they had his secret and to spill the beans...
Unless things are more complicated than just Whit having a dead mom, after all if it was just that wouldn't he have known immediatly that was his secret ? After all Teruko had the same issue as well as she didn't know what her secret could actually even be.
You could argue that I put my back against the wall here. If Whit not knowing his secret was his motive as to why he commited the murder then why did he let a bunch of people the opportunity to air out a potentially incriminating secret. Wouldn't that mean he wasn't worried about it ?
However, you have to keep in mind Whit had no idea how bad the secrets were, the only secrets that was revealed was J's which in retrospect of other secrets seemed like a much lighter one.
You could argue "Well Whit had David's secret which was pretty bad" however despite how bad that secret was it was also very vague and since Whit didn't know how much about David it doesn't really mean much on how deep the secrets were.
Considering Whit's personality as well, it was possible he was in denial or some deeper reason as to why he wasn't thinking about it. "Bitter things need to go down the drain" and all that.
In fact Whit was one of the first ones to say they shouldn't reveal their secret before J's secret was immediatly revealed.
I also don't think Whit being in denial has to be rooted in logic either (especially with how inconcistent he seems to be about the secrets), the murder was commited right before the deadline and although there was planning behind it, it was still a last minute decision (aka not done immediatly during the day of the motive reveal). You could argue pressure got to him or he overthought it as it became increasingly clear how much deeper the secrets went and how much the people who set this game up knew about them (something Whit investigated himself).
I think the way Whit acted about the secrets is too contradictory to really use any of what he says as actual evidence against the secrets not being his motive basically.
Now, let's go into the other point and how it works with the potential motive, the speculation that Arei was waterboarded.
Yeah, this seems to hint heavily that this is what happened and Arei's actual cause of death would be by drowning instead of strangulation like expected.
But why not strangulation ?? Why do a technique that is much harder to kill Arei, unless they were trying to get something out of drowning her. I mean we don't technically know if it was actual waterboarding but considering how planned this murder was and how we do actually have pieces of clothing that would serve for waterboarding, it seems to be likely.
(I'm not exactly sure how it stuck together with the starch afterwards but considering how the playground's ventilation works it's possible it dried up quickly) (There's also Arei's missing glove if you don't believe Teruko and Hu's clothing where used for it)
There's also no reason to drown her instead of strangling her with the rope unless there was another justification for it. But the episode actively goes out of it's way to say that there probably wasn't an attempt at tricking people into thinking the murder happened during 7:30 PM.
Anyways, why would the culprit waterboard Arei then ??? Clearly this means they were trying to get information out of her...
Which makes 0 sense unless it was Whit who would at least have a small justification for it, aka him not knowing what his secret is. I do admit it is a bit blurry on what type of information Whit would've truly wanted or why he did this before just killing her. However out of anyone (that already isn't pretty much confirmed innocent) it would only make sense for it to be him.
Now onto other stuff unrelated to the secret thing, like how unhelpful Whit has been this trial to a suspicious degree. AKA :
-Trying to distract away from the letter framing Eden and then just throwing her under the bus immediatly when he's questioned about it.
-Refusing to reveal David's secret
-Coincidentally having an excuse for not seeing Arei's body swaying
Now all of these could be argued to be in character reasons, after all didn't he do something like that chapter 1 with Charles (kind of). However this is a new level of trial interferance that really isn't justifiable at a certain point.
You could argue "well wouldn't talking about the note and David's secret be useful to make them seem guilty"' and while that'd be right to an extent. However everytime Whit witholds something like with Eden and David, he seems to cave eventually so the only thing he has achieved in this trial so far is to stall for time. Which could potentially be intentional if he's the culprit.
Now that I've kinda covered the major points, here are a list of suspicious things, mostly things that Whit knew before I get to my final point (how this would fit the narrative this chapter).
(I do wanna say most of this things isn't technically necessary info that the culprit needed to know but it definitely helps).
Whit was present during Teruko and Hu changing, meaning he would have known about their old clothes and could have found out where to get them.
Whit was present during the fight in the cafeteria, which is when Arei demanded to have her rope thrown away leading to Mono-TV putting it in storage
(Eden was busy helping J and Arturo so only Teruko, Charles and Whit could've known this information by listening in)
Whit also is the reason David is in the relaxation room leading to his conversation with Arei although idk how much of that would even possibly be planned or how that would help him, still important to note though.
There is probably more I could say however I want to get to my last point, I do think Whit being the culprit fits this case more than anyone else.
I know the question of the tape is still unanswered, if Eden did take it wouldn't that mean she is the culprit ? Well I don't think so but overall I just don't think this one singular piece of evidence is enough to say Eden's the culprit especially if we look at the bigger picture.
I'm probably just repeating the same things people probably have heard already but Eden committing such a gruesome murder for pratically no motive at all (outside getting out but it would make the secret motive useless) just doesn't really make sense.
However it is true that from what the title of this chapter suggests "all that glitters (is not gold)", it would mean a character isn't as innocent/good as they seem.
But wouldn't that title make more sense with Whit ?
Eden and Whit both are seemingly the positive vibes character of the cast, both being seemingly "normal". However Whit's positivity is a lot more toxic than Eden's, cracking jokes at innapropriate time and seeming to not let himself show even negative emotions (contrary to Eden who has let herself be upset multiple times).
Narratively speaking, Whit being the culprit, would put Charles in a similar situation to Teruko perhaps deepening their bond further without having Teruko going through a regression arc (she was way closer to Eden than she was with Whit).
It would allow Eden's message to not be lost/contradicted while also going with the apparent theme of the chapter that things aren't as they seem.
And also "all that glitters is not gold" would be a very smart saying for Whit, the one who died his hair blond (would be a very fun double meaning)
#drdt#danganronpa despair time#whit young#whit drdt#eden drdt#drdt chapter 2#drdt theory#drdt levi#levi fontana#eden tobisa#keep in mind this theory is messy because i've slept at 3 am due to DRDT and woke up at 8 am#anyways it's jarring at how much i've changed my tune about chapter 2 but this episode basically just#changed everything by not really saying much#ik i haven't explained the tape stuff in context of this theory however#i think people have kinda lost themselves in the sauce for something that only proves Eden's involved and not that she's the culprit#I don't know where the tape fits in exactly but I just think there's too much against the Eden culprit theory#Also if Eden did take the tape and didn't commit the murder it's not like she can say because that would make her look#way too suspicious#and basically confirm her as the culprit#anyways for the Whit Mastermind stuff it can still work with him as the culprit but its possible his motive has something to do with his#strange behavior#anyways these tags are getting too long
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Posted a ficlet last night right before bed which means I was too tired to stop myself from adding an author's note saying 'kudos and bookmarks are nice but ultimately they're just numbers, but comments are how you start conversations so leave comments on the fics you read. Even an emoji makes an author's day!'
Wake up this morning to 6 new comments on the fic and my brain immediately goes 'Oh fuck they're all yelling at me for being so needy and cringe 😬'
I still haven't read the comments 🙃
#In my defense!#6 comments is 6 comments more than I got in the first 8 hours of my last one shot#That one was 1500 words and it took a week to get my first comment#This one is 370 words and I get 6?? Without even sharing the link to the Lucifer fandom on Twitter?#Yeah sorry if it makes me suspicious and worrying I did something super wrong with that author's note#Internet rule of thumb: don't admit your age and location and don't ask for fic comments#Or at least that's how my brain thinks it is :S
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How did i only now realise that it Would actually make sense to have Fredrik killed for him (still not sure of it though)
#I was like noo that's his son why would he do that (edit i just realised it's son in law oops)#'Maybe lukas is working for someone else too' 'who knows'#Girl he was going to go to the cops. They've mentioned several times he would also snitch on his father in law. How did i not realise that.#Likee.. i considered it several times and yet i didn't think. (Though tbh no idea what precisely grandpa guy has/ had going on)#Though i did find him a lil suspicious from the first ep. When he was like hey kiddo. Don't tell anything unrelated they don't have to know#Still that's your Son!!#But also if Sonja shoots Niklas i'm fully supportive of that please do actually!#Gm s1#Anyways we'll see we'll see#<just started episode 8
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maybe the real treasure was the friends (lich and lizard who currently hate me) we made along the way. And the insane number of baldur helmets we picked up too
(I finished the Pirate's Graveyard and didn't take the treasure, BUT I still got a shitton of money out of it--and two, technically three counting the story character, new units who don't like me yet)
#deciding if I should attempt a few levels of the PotD for cool gear and potentially more recruits that I Don't Need#or actually go and work on the story a bit next#(I'm a bit worried about Holy Knight Lanselot bc a suspicious song unlocked in the music gallery)#OR go back to the hunting grounds bc I know there's Some umbra units there and I can recruit them now#(I really really don't need this many recruits since I use the same 8-12 characters for most maps)#(but there are sooo many cool unit types)#oracle of lore
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ooo that's minty babyyy
#just me hi#almost wrote 'babuuu' up there loll#anywho i got gum yesterday cuz i'm tryna stop chewing on my. everything hkfsh#lips + cheeks + finger skin. i don't like cuts v-v#i got miiiiiiiiint because they didn't have waaaaaaatermelon hbfsh :)#it's not so burny but i do still wish i had watermelon... ou....#//i wanna do something rn but i don't. know. wghat#pi.e is always welcome but i wanna work on bl.s but i'm also having my siblings play through a story that i have Stuck in my brain so hkfsh#i didn't think i'd get so Brained abt this one. and because i had them play it before i had an actual plot ready(just had basic world stuff#i can't think of this going any other way hbfshv - lotta fun interesting and weird things have happened that simply cannot be reproduced#/hang on my oven food must be turned lol#okey :3#/like the spy they ran into - idk if i've ever talked abt it lol but m gonna do so now hbfsjv#so they - my brothers whose names are fry and leo in this story. fry is an 8 yo tabby-cat sparrow and leo is the cat-dog-rat thing Shock :)#- anywho they're with the character Teddy and the three of them were going to head to the Crow Fortress to. fight them i guess lol ?? there#wasn't a like. real plan jfhsjv#so they're on their way out from the shore village-turned-fortress called Shimmery Shore and they run into a cloaked figure like a couple#miles off going towards Shimmery Shore (where fry's mother runs the fortress as general) and they start debating each other#fry goes 'wait what if this is a spy??' leo 'i dunno. we're going somewhere. so.' 'but if it's a spy??' 'well what are you going to do abou#it???' so fry asks the stranger 'are you.. a Spy [eyebrow raise]?' the stranger obviously says 'no!! what are you talking about???'#'that's exactly what a spy would say!' 'i'm sure a spy would also be saying the same thing! YOU'RE spies aren't you? this is all greatly#suspicious !!'#and the argument quickly came to the stranger pulling a sword and saying 'i'm going to pass now and you're not going to stop me' and the#group p much just put up their hands and went 'okay yeah sure man' and let them pass lol#the Squad argued abt it for like a couple minutes and then forgot about it shortly#anyway Shimmery Shore later fell to the Crows and it was due to some sort of slow collapse of their internal structures. and when they hear#that the two of them slowly looked at each other. and then started laughing kjhfsjgjhsv#anyway yea i do a lot of thinkin for this one on the fly. lotta stuff going on hbghfs#i'm bad at remembering finer details but at least i can keep my world here together lol :3#//ouh i've run out of tags.. okay m gonna eat my food n then do something hfh :) tooooodles !!
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heads up, the hands in blood is all AI
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKING HELL. IT IS HELL HERE.
FUCK AI
FUCK MACHINE-LEARNING DATA-MINING CYBER-SCRAPING IMAGE-FRACKERS CALLING THEMSELVES ARTISTS
#I don't want to FUCKING have to inspect and doubt and be suspicious of every single image online#I want to see some nice art and share it#and FUCKING tech bro AI hacks are infiltrating this space and making it untenuous#Anon thank you for letting me know. I'm deleting it as we speak#and blocking the OP#please everyone if you see this and see me reblogging something that you suspect is AI#don't hesitate to let me know#I am not as skilled in telling them apart yet besides the obvious like 8-fingered stuff#anonymous#answered
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what if i do it anyway. he's a himbo and i love him <333
#may leaf rant#“this is petty af” listen. i will fight if people get upset about arbitrary labels#looking at you guy who ended his friendship with me over me “trying to convince him that his bestie is an abuser”#but pretended like he did it over my radical slur takes#which i didn't even talk to him to directly. he accessed my media tab on tweeter and saw a pic that was a reply to someone else#so he couldn't have seen it unless he was actively trying to find Something#how to say you're suspicious of me without saying you're suspicious of me#i fucking hate you#i will defend the person i supposedly framed as an abuser even tho she gave multiple of my friends panic attacks#autism things i suppose combined with having a bestie who is a fucking dick#but i will not defend That guy. fuck you#just fuck you#it's been like 8 or 9 months since our falling out and i'm Still upset about it#i fucking hate that guy so much#and i don't say “hate” lightly. i never say hate unless i mean it#“bro what if he sees this post” i don't fucking care. let him see. bitch couldn't even be arsed to say#“hey you insulted my best friend so i don't wanna be friends with you anymore”#granted i don't Know if that was the reason he didn't want to be friends anymore#since my slur take Is pretty extreme#but literally anyone i talked to (“proship” “anti” neither of those) said it was a pretty extreme reaction#and most likely an excuse for him to finally get rid of me#if anyone is still reading this i'm so sorry#anyway if he sees this post i don't fucking care. people like him are the reason why i have trust issues/keep people at arm's length#just tell me the fucking truth man#why do you have to lie like that#tldr if you have something to tell me then fucking Do it#oh how badly i want everyone to know who i'm talking about#but no. i'm not going to say his name in public lol#i fucking hate him
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Well, I did it
Megatron - I love his tfp design. Probably one of the best iteration of Megs. He is huge, heavy armoured, his face covered with scars… He doesn’t looks like an ordinary military leader who is only capable of giving orders, but like real warrior who can destroy any enemy with his bare hands.
So, in the WOF version, he definitely shares some features with Princess Burn, not only because of his might, but also because of his horns shape and dirty-dark scales (that absorbed blood of his enemies)
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Starscream - Boy, I hate him so much 🤣… but in the good way, trust me! In my opinion, when the show's creators make you feel such strong negative emotions towards a villain, it means they've done a great job. Also, I think that his animation in the show was absolutely incredible, because even though he's a 3D model, he still manages to move like a 2D character, which is amazing!
I feel that in my design he still looks more like a skywing, than an icewing (which is kinda logical)
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Soundwave - This one was tricky. I couldn't figure out what his mask would look like, so I just made his face a really dark color. I think Soundwave has both gifts of the nightwings, and he’s equally great at telepathy and a future vision. So he doesn't really need equipment to predict enemy movements, which makes him an ideal communicator in the WOF setting. His Laserbeak is part of the armor enchanted by Shockwave, and it might also allow him to open portals (but I'm not sure with this one)
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Shockwave - My favourite evil genius. He would definitely have animus magic and mind reading. I think Shockwave is the only one who has advanced the study of magic so far, precisely because he combined it with scientific knowledge and created safer methods of using it, that don't damage the mind. It's like if a Mastermind got animus magic in books.
I also like to think that he didn't heal the damaged part of his face just so that his enemies would fear him more)
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Dreadwing - This man deserved better! It's really a shame that he was removed from the show so quickly due to financial problems. It would be great if his arc got a proper conclusion in season 3.
Considering that I didn't want to make him a hybrid, it was difficult to choose a suitable color palette. So let’s just say, that I tried my best😅
I don’t think that he would have any nightwing powers, but honestly it doesn’t even matter - this guy can make a bombs, what else does he need to be cool
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Arachnid - Did anyone even doubt that she would be a hivewing? Damn, she even got her own “Othermind” virus. Her design was the easiest to work with - just a little poisonous ass (suspiciously similar to Maleficent).
Just like Starscream, I hate her, but in a good way. She's one of the creepiest characters in the entire series, who’s acting like a fucking heartless monster, especially with Arcee, but even so, there's always was something mesmerizing about her. I just really like strong female villains
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Knockout - Wery bright and charismatic guy, definitely one of my fav cons!
I tried to draw him as handsome as possible. Worked a lot on the face shape and coloring, and as for me it turned out pretty nice (finally).
Most decepticons think Knockout is as stupid and lazy as all the other rainwings. And it's not like he completely disagrees with that. Of course he’s not stupid and lazy, but if it’s means less dirty work on the battlefield, well, he’ll continue act like a tipical rainwing
(I also believe that Megatron keeps him as an “art”)
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Breakdown - Fun fact: "Operation Breakdown" was the very first thing I saw in this series. And it was an interesting experience for 8 year old me. Maybe that's why I'm so scared of eye gouging scenes in movies now…
I think that he didn't have any siblings initially due to his parents nature, and even after meeting Bulkhead, he felt uncomfortable among the other mudwings. And this is why he later chose the side of the decepticons. And maaaaybe because of one cute rainwing influence)
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P.s.
I think that, being mostly nightwings and icewings, the decepticons are much more concerned about purity of their blood and rarely accept half-breeds into their ranks.
During the war, there were many animus dragons among decepticons, which is why they have so many artifacts that allowed teleportation and communication at a distance. But, honestly, I still can't imagine what Nemesis would look like in this AU
#tfp#transformers#transformers prime#tfp megatron#tfp starscream#tfp soundwave#tfp shockwave#tfp dreadwing#tfp arachnid#tfp knockout#tfp breakdown#megatron#starscream#wof#wings of fire#wof crossover#wof icewing#wof nightwing#wof rainwing#decepticons
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Hahahaha nothing like a major surgery to validate that no, you really aren't making up your chronic pain, and you also aren't just a little bitch about everything (so maybe that's why you THINK you have The Ailments) — in fact, it is completely the opposite. Logically, I do know that, but still sometimes I'm like I dunno, maybe I AM just a little bitch haha.
Last autumn, last major surgery, I was like, I don't know, maybe they were just wrong, or maybe it's (somehow) just really easy for me and I got off easy and they just did a really smooth job (because surgery works that way? I know I'm full of shite, but, anything to rationalise it away). But two times...there's nothing to say to this. It's just not bad. They've prescribed me oxycodone, and not only do I have zero use for that, I don't even see the point in taking the acetaminophen they prescribed. I'm not even trying to do a weird flex, I'm just...I dunno. Vaguely puzzled. Is this really supposed to be that bad? Put me out of commision for weeks? I'm not supposed to be able to move certain parts of my body, so I need to remember to stop, because I don't want to potentially aggravate things and impair my healing, but like. I'm fine.
Honestly my head hurts worse than my surgery site right now, because my migraine has ramped up. It just feels like muscle soreness to me, like when you exercise after not doing that for too long, and then your muscles ache and are all sore the next day, but it's not really a big deal. IDK, I used to be a runner, so I dealt with achey muscles a lot, and carrying on business as usual with them, so I don't know why this would stop me.
I woke up from surgery like 6hrs ago, and now i'm still just kind of sitting here waiting for the other shoe to drop, like it should magically start being like they said it would at some point, but from my experience with the last surgery, and now this one feeling incredibly similar...it won't. I guess we'll see, though. Wish my migraine meds would hurry up and work though haha (but who knows if they'll ever work at all. They only do about half the time, and unfortunately, that's the best acute med I've found. Tried upwards of...twenty 😩).
#ah whatever going to sleep now anaesthesia is tiring#welp....literally fell asleep before i could actually post this haha just woke up#going back to sleep tho. tired.#the good news is my migraine went back down to regular levels 🥳#also discovered that I don't think it likes me brushing my teeth. but oh well. i needed to. tried my left hand and that was a little#better but I don't really have the coordination#didnt *hurt* so much as feel like it was tugging & flexing muscles it probably shouldn't be so hopefully sleep will rest that and it wont#be an issue really#im still stuck on my migraine being worse than this though#like. it wasn't even at a particularly terrible level? a 6 is when i go for meds unless ive already taken them twice that week then oh well#but this was only a 7. it only gets Really obnoxious around 8 when it's completely unignorable#????? how is surgery like a 4? that's like my most days for migraine now that i have much better control of them#4 doesnt seem right. suspiciously relaxing
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I would like a fanfiction that combines the original premise of Oz with Dorothy being a young child (8-12 since it's her book ages and her movie age) and instead of 1900 it's like in the original book it's 1939 and Wicked. Dorothy is worried for aunty Em and Uncle Henri because not only is it the Great Depression and part of the farmhouse is here with her but she's worried because they're have been talks of a potential war (the movie came out in August 25th and the war started in September 1st) but she's worried that her Uncle Henri might be drafted and her aunt might go with them cause what if they think she's dead)
While walking down the Yellow Brick Road Scarecrow asks why Dorothy keeps saying they need to ration they're things? Asks why she's so worried about food? Why is she so insistent on not buying a new dress? You've already re sewn and cleaned those same clothes for the past month. Boq is made of metal and has no clothes, the lion is a lion and therefore does not need clothes, and I'm a scarecrow I can't take my clothes off.
Down the road he begins to realise that this child isn't as okay and innocent as she seems with all of her skipping and dancing with the way she looks out the corner of her eye behind her pigtails or re checks her basket Incase they dropped anything.
Imagine because of all the interruptions, being attacked, the road itself, and then the wizard being a fraud she takes longer to get home. Perhaps instead of two-three months in Oz she's there for two-three years. The shoes don't work and Dorothy believes she's just killed two women even though it wasn't her fault at the time(Elphaba is alive but she's still in hiding with Fiyero) and got kidnapped and locked in a basement and almost burnt alive. She thinks that now she's never going to make it home. But you have fresh food and clothes here do you really want to go back. She can't help but think to herself before snapping out of it reminding herself of Aunty Em and Uncle Henri.
Or if Dorothy does make it home her Aunt and Uncle somehow end up sending her back because not only has World War ii begun but now that America is a part of it and Kansas was essentially a training ground for USAAF bombers and fliers so when she's back in Oz she looks for Fiyero or Galinda and Explains what happened.
Fiyero didn't know a potential war was on the horizon in Dorothy's home world. If he had known would he have sent her back or would he have kept her in Oz even if it was against her will. He takes her to Elphaba and explains what happened and they managed to reach out to Glinda and help give her a proper education, she gets taller thanks to a proper diet, she's at least somewhat healthy thanks to available medicine and hygiene products in Oz. She's lived longer than she thought she would have in Kansas and a lot longer than she thought she would have here in Oz. A LOT longer.
Also potential Dorzma and realising that Oscar Diggs is a name of a guy that went missing a few decades ago that her parents and guardians talked about with their families because this guy with a hot air balloon disappeared in a storm and no trace of him can be found. Obvious propaganda against a coloured women and a selective group of people because I believe Aunty Em not Uncle Henri would've raised her that way. She still wants to meet the wizard in hopes of going home but she's still suspicious because of how she was raised in this au.
#Wicked#the wizard of oz#dorothy gale#galinda upland#wicked galinda#wicked glinda#glinda the good witch#glinda upland#elphaba thropp#wicked elphaba#wicked witch of the west#nessarose thropp#wicked nessarose#wicked witch of the east#fiyero tigelaar#scarecrow#Wicked Fiyero#gelphie#fiyeraba#boq woodsman#tin man#tin woodsman#the great depression#world war ii#world war 2#princess ozma#dorzma#au#fanfic
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Day One: Felix
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Pairing: Felix x Reader
Warning: Smut, smutty smut smut [18 + Minors DO NOT READ]
Word Count: 1.1k
Summary: Eight days of smutty stories of where I think Stray Kids would fuck you/fuck with you. Hope you enjoy lolol.
You stand outside your boyfriend's dorm, knocking on the door, waiting for one of the 8 men who lived there to answer. You had been invited over for a movie night by your boyfriend, Felix, but in the text he sent a lot of suspicious emojis that made you wonder if it truly was a movie night or he had other ideas.
“Hey, Y/N.” Hyunjin smiles as he opens the door. “Felix is just in the kitchen.” He finishes as you walk into the dorm. You go in, taking your shoes and jacket off and heading straight for the kitchen.
“Hey you.” Felix smiles, walking up to you, wrapping his arms around you. He leans his head down, kissing your cheek, and down to your neck
“What movie are we even watching?” You ask the group as Felix settles down on the couch beside you. He lifts up his arm, letting you fall back into him, being as close as you could in the moment.
“I dunno, some comedy movie nobody's heard of that Chan wants to watch.” Lee Know says, rolling his eyes.
“I promise! It'll be good!” Chan says, getting excited to watch.
You try to focus on the movie but it truly was awful and you could tell Felix was feeling a little antsy. He pulled the blanket covering both you and him up a little more, placing it just under your neck as his hand slid inside your shirt and into your bra. You let out a small gasp as he rolls your nipple between his fingers, cupping your breast firmly. He continues to play with your tits, quietly and secretly as the movie plays on and you try to stay focused. Felix pulls his hand from in your shirt and trails down your body, pausing as the waist of your sweat pants. You look up at him but he avoids any eye contact with you, instead he looks straightforward at the movie, a small smirk on his lips as he slowly slides his hand into your pants, hovering right above your lips. You bite your lip while holding your breath in anticipation for his next move. He slowly lowers his hand, moving his fingers between your lips, gently grazing your clit.
“Mhmm.” You groan. Changbin looks at you funny, luckily you cover it up with a yawn, pretending to stretch. You can hear Felix snicker as he moves his finger in a circle on your clit. You close your eyes, slightly opening your legs a little more for Felix. He switches between multiple movements of his fingers, slowing down and then speeding up. He really enjoyed teasing you and honestly if he would let you, you'd ride him right then and there, in front of everyone.
You do your best to muffle your moans, but it's so hard when he continuously brings you to an almost orgasm and then switches things up, you wanted to cum now but he didn't want you to yet.
“Yeah okay, I can't. I'm going to bed.” Changbin says, waving his hands in the air.
“Yeah I'm going too.” Hyunjin sighs. Seungmin, Jeogin and Lee Know all get up without a word, leaving the room and heading to their own rooms. Han is next, he tried to stick it out but he couldn't. Chan sighed, turning off the movie and handing the remote to Felix.
“You guys staying up?” He asks.
“Yeah. We'll be up for a bit. But don't worry, we'll be quiet.” He says, his voice so deep and husky. It sent shivers down your spine. Chan smiles at you both, saying goodnight before heading off to his room. Felix slowly pulls his fingers out of your pants, making you whine at the lack of touch.
He leans his head down,“Ride me.” He whispers.
“Here?” You gasp. you stand up, he throws the blanket to the other end of the couch. You watch him as he unbuttons his pants, sliding them down his legs, letting his cock spring free. You almost drool at the sight. His legs spread, cock hard as he waits for you. You shimmy off your sweat pants, letting them pool around your feet before you step out of them. You climb on top of Felix, straddling him as he holds his cock in place, letting you sink down onto him as he stretches you out.
“Fuck.” He hisses, you start rocking your hips back and forth slowly. Felix grabs the hem of your shirt, lifting it up and over your head, throwing it behind him. He reaches behind you, unhooking your bra, letting your tits out, cupping them roughly. He leans forward while you grind on his cock, his lips wrapping around your nipple. He sucks, flicking his tongue around causing you to throw your head back. He releases your nipple, running his fingers down your back as he pulls you in closer to him. You rest your head in the crook of his neck as his hands trace down your body to your hips. He lifts you up before slamming you back down on his cock, both of you trying to control your moaning. He lifts you up again, this time letting you sink down slowly on his cock, teasing the both of you.
“I need it faster.” You groan in his ear. “Fuck me faster and harder.”
“Bend over.” He whispers.
You climb off his lap, climbing onto the couch, sticking your ass in the air. Felix places his hands on your hips again, slowly pushing his cock inside you.
“Shit.” You cry out.
“Shh, baby.” He whispers, as he pulls out and slides into you again, as hard and as quiet as he can.
You burry your face into the couch, as he fucks you, his finger tips digging into your hips. You wanted - no need it faster, harder and louder. You were dying for him to wreck you.
“Please. Please Felix.” You cry.
“What baby?” He asks, slowing down.
“I need more.” You beg. “Please fuck me harder..”
“Fuck it.” He groans. He pulls out and slams back into you - hard.
“Oh fuck.” You cry out. Felix rams himself into you, the sound of you two fucking flowing through the air.
You reach between your legs, rubbing your sensitive clit, tightening yourself around Felix’s cock.
“Shit baby.” He groans, fucking you faster. You rub your clit faster, your orgasm building up quickly.
“I'm gonna need you to cum, baby.” Felix groans, plowing you faster.
“I'm right fucking there.” You cry. Your orgasm finally exploding through your body. You tighten your pussy around him again as you work through your high.
“Oh fuck..” he moans as his orgasm hits, slowly down his thrusts as he releases all his cum inside of you.
“Oh my god.” You breathe as he pulls out. You stand up, wrapping the blanket around you as you gather your clothes. Felix pulls his pants up, as he's doing up his button you hear a door creak open.
“Are you guys done yet?” Han yells. “Can I come out now?”
#lee felix#stray kids#skz#felix smut#stray kids smut#skz smut#lee felix smut#stray kids writing#stray kids fanfic#skz fanfic#skz writing
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I Hate The New Hero!
Part 7 - Three Stooges And A Minty Accident
Pt 1 - Pt 2 - Pt 3 - Pt 4 - Pt 5 - Pt 6 - Pt 7 (You're here) - Pt 8 - Pt 9 - Pt 10
Just a warning, there will be an allergic reaction in this chapter, I don't know if it does call for a warning or not but I just want to be safe! Also, Characters are somewhat ooc, so, sorry for that!!
Water drips onto the tiled floor as you stand in the broken down bathroom of the apartment. Your hands grip onto the sinks and you look at your puffy, icky complexion.
You'd like to say you had taken the humiliation with grace, just simply walked it off. But you didn't, you couldn't stop the tears falling down you heading home and you're sure if there were anymore tears left to cry you would still be crying.
Honestly though, what were you expecting? You had a feeling something bad would happen, it's the Waynes after all.
Your phone is now unusable so you can't even contact your friends Sherri and Tia, both of whom you haven't spoken to much in the past couple of days.
You feel bad, the girls had been there for you since day 1. You're sure that if you had told them about your hero persona they'd support and try to help you - because that's what friends do.
You sigh as you decide to take a warm shower, you can already tell you're going to get sick but can only hope that somehow the spider bite would stop it from happening too harshly.
The water is warm on your skin as you stand there disassociating. You wish you stay there forever but your parents definitely wouldn't appreciate you raising the water bills.
You get out and dress in something comfortable - and more importantly, dry.
The whole day has been a shitshow and you just want to die. But, you are anything but a quitter - at least, you hope so.
Deciding to open up the laptop you see the time is already 3pm, that means school is out! Sherry and Tia are probably online now, so, you message them on the laptop.
You desperately needed a distraction from everything so Sherri, Tia and you decide to head to a nice cafe - one that doesn't have a bucket of ice cold water waiting to fall on you.
Heading to your room you put on your shoes and fish out $10 from a small piggy bank in your wooden chest. You head to the nearby cafe, a pep in your step as you go.
Meanwhile Duke was hanging out with Steph and Cass, the two girls wanting to invite him along to one of their outings, they had gotten pedicures, did some shopping, walked around a park and were now stopping at a cafe to get some drinks.
They hadn't checked the GC all day - in fact, they had silenced it due to the amount of messages going through.
Steph orders a chocolate milkshake, Cass orders a mint tea and Duke decides to order a hot chocolate. He was meant to be patrolling today but today was oddly peaceful so he decided against it.
The three sit down at a nearby table, unaware of the three people waiting in line behind them.
You however were not so oblivious. As soon as you walk in your face falls and a bad feeling washes over you - something bad is about to happen. Your spidey senses didn't need to enact for you to tell.
Still, you power through. Your friends are excited about this cafe and you don't want to be a buzzkill..
"(Reader)? Helloooo?" Tia waves a hand in front of your face jokingly as you snap out of your dread-filled state. You chuckle and roll your eyes playfully "Stop it Tia! You aren't funny!"
Tia gasps and dramatically puts a hand on her chest and pouts. "(Readerrrrrrr), you're actually so mean! Are you a secret villain or something?"
Before you can respond Sherri comes back, having ordered the drinks for you all. The cafe is crowded and you guys either have the choice of sitting next to a group of suspicious men or the three heroes.
Before you can weigh in Tia and Sherri already move to the table next to Steph, Cass and Duke so you have no choice but to sigh and follow, hoping nothing bad happens.
Duke glances over at the three who had sat at the table next to theirs out of curiosity. Upon seeing (Reader) he stiffens up slightly - out of everyone he's the one who has some of the least beef with (Reader) because he's convinced that if (Reader) just talks to Aranea then they'd stop being such a hater.
Yet, he knows Steph will make a deal of it if she sees (Reader) there, with snarky remarks made loud enough for the other three to hear, glares and dirty looks and possibly even confrontation. Cass wouldn't really react, she doesn't have much of an opinion on (Reader), at least not that she speaks on.
So overall, he's gotta try and not have Steph notice. Luckily, despite the cafe being to busy everyone already had their drinks and food. It was only Duke's group and (Reader)'s group left to be served. And as luck would have it both orders came at the same time.
You're laughing with your friends, trying to not draw attention to yourself - you could feel Duke glancing at you from time to time and pray that he won't start anything.
You get your drink, excited to finally get (Favorite drink) after so long. These days you rarely have the chance to get it, either not having time or not having money.
Sherri is joking around with Tia and you take a sip of your drink, too engrossed with the conversation to notice something off until the third sip.
Pausing you stare down at your drink and lick your lips. "Uh guys, this isn't my drink.." You state, looking at them. Normally it wouldn't be such a big deal but this time it was - you just had three regular sized sips of mint tea.
Mint is an allergy you picked up from the spider bite. Something you are now deathly allergic to.
At the same time Cass has already noticed that it isn't the drink she had ordered. She noticed straight away but Steph was too busy rambling on about some high school drama to let anyone else get a word in.
It's not that big of a deal for her, it's just that this drink wasn't her favorite. Looking to the table next to her she sees (Reader) with their friends, the cafe is very loud so she has to strain to listen to their conversation but by facial expressions alone she can tell.
Nothing good is happening.
Sherri is freaking out, like seriously freaking out. She gets up from her chair and quickly goes to call an ambulance, only stopped by you gripping onto her arm - it's too expensive to go to the hospital by ambulance.
Tia is by your side trying to make sure you stay conscious, she's also searching up remedies to try and help.
Your tongue is swollen, your mouth is itchy and your throat feels like it's closing in. Your abdomen is screaming in pain and you feel like vomiting, you can't breath yet you need to cough. You feel dizzy, your pulse beating slowly in your ears. It's too much..
The commotion draws attention of onlookers including Steph and Duke - Cass was already watching.
Duke is horrified - your face is purple-ish red! You're scratching at your neck like an animal and your friends are freaking out so much that you'd think you were turning into some kind of monster!
Steph is shocked - when did you get there?! Also, whats happening? She doesn't think and just immediately gets her phone out and films it, she knows she should call an ambulance but this could help in the future! Plus, surely someone else had called paramedics.
Cass' eyes are widened in shock, and she feels frozen in place. Her instincts want to kick in, having been skilled in quick response. But she doesn't do anything but stare. Should she do something? Yes. Will she continue to be a bystander? Also yes.
Eventually Duke has enough of people just standing around and watching you have a severe allergic reaction - or atleast, that's what he guesses it is. He steps up to you and gently grabs your arm and pulls you outside. Your friends stay behind to clean up any mess - even though they desperately wanted to follow you and Duke.
An ambulance arrives and Duke sits in the back with you. You're freaking out, he supposes it's due to the allergic reaction. He's only a third right.
In actuality you're freaking out due to the hospital bill - and by extension your parents - as well as the fact that DUKE THOMAS is in the back of an ambulance with you.
Why? You have no clue. Your spidey senses don't go off but you're still scared, you hate the whole Wayne clan with your whole heart. After the issue with Dick today the last thing you need is to be in the back of an ambulance with Duke.
Yet, as your vision fades the last thing you see is Duke's worried face.
~
Taglist (can be finicky, sorry!)
@rissareader @delias-stuff @hogwarts9 @marsmabe @randomlyappearingartist @coralaura @nervousalpacalady @citrushalo @chericia @soriansick @v0idl1nq @scrumdidiliyumyum @kittykatcreatster @feral-childs-word @anon34570 @shycreatorreview @sunny-sp3lls @fluffypackofships @cynniee @yuyuzi-ling @coffeeaddictxd @starryperson @readermommy @niggrrooo @bunbunboysworld @yanrandom @fluffypackofchips @vanilliona @wizzerreblogs
#dc#dc comics#dc universe#dcu#yandere#yandere dc#dc robin#yandere batfam#yandere batfamily#blackbirds feathers#yandere batman#yandere dick grayson#yandere tim drake#yandere damian wayne#yandere stephanie brown#yandere cassandra cain#yandere duke thomas#yandere batboys#yandere batfamily x reader#yandere batfam x reader#platonic batfam#batman#robin#red robin#red hood#signal dc#batfam#dick grayson#batman wayne family adventures#nightwing
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Yandere Batfam x Camp half-blood (Neglected reader)
DC x Pjo
Part 8
______________________________
Night
"Thalia's tree has been poisoned, the barrier was weakened, Mr D thinks Chiron did it" you say walking to the dining area with Percy, Annabeth and Tyson
Percy scoffs "Chiron??? Maybe Mr D did it himself or is trying to pin the blame"
"Or... Since there is no culprit, the other gods might pester and harass Mr D for not keeping the camp safe, so he had to prosecute Chiron" Annabeth grumbles
You sigh "likely, Mr D assigned a new Activities Director for us, but he's not pleasant"
Percy raises a brow "Are you sure? Have you met him?"
"I know his name, and I hate people like him the most, Tantalus" Glaring at the ground, you hands fist
"what's so bad about him?" Percy asks, and Annabeth rolls her eyes at Percy's ignorance
"Tantalus killed his own son, he chopped, cooked him and fed his own son to the gods, when the gods found out, they were so disgusted they cursed Tantalus to never eat again even in death, I hate his type the most, parents who don't love their children" you say
"why would the gods assign him to take care of children???" Percy tilts his head confused
You three part ways as you sit at your respected tables
(much like cabins, tables are separated by parent)
______________________________
Night
"What are you doing!?! Don't touch that!" Damian yells at Duke who's holding a small keychain that is strapped at Damian's utility belt
The Manor was cold and quiet, the demon spawn echoes as he screamed, Damian grabbed his belt away from duke
"a cinnamoroll keychain? Didn't see you as the type to like that kind of stuff" Duke laughed
And he was right, cause that key chain was yours, you had it clipped to your backpack for school, after you died, Damian hoarded whatever stuff of yours he could find, there wasn't a lot, you didn't have many toys, you didn't have many clothes, everything was important
Every evidence that you once lived at this Manor
Every evidence you were once his sibling
Every evidence you were once alive
One he treasured the most, he kept in a locked box under his bed... It may sound creepy
Scratch that-
It is creepy.
He found the baby blanket you were wearing when you were dropped on the Manor's doorstep
He treasured it, but sometimes he questioned, the quality of the blanket was immaculate, it was soft and silky, probably expensive, and when Damian found out that the golden stitches that said your name were actual gold, he became suspicious
Your birth mother was probably rich, capable of providing for you
So why would she give you up?
Another thing he noticed was blood, and the blanket was wrinkled when he found it under your pillow
Damian thought of the many times you probably held the blanket as you cried bloody and injured after a mission (or after every time he hurt you, but he doesn't wanna think about that does he?)
Nevertheless, even with all his doubts, one he didn't question was his fondness for the blanket
______________________________
Day
"Mom!?" You jump in surprise
Your 8 foot tall mother looming over you, she had a bunch of bags in her hand "Hey sweetie!"
You are in your cabin, it was your turn to clean it, so while your siblings prepare their chariots for the upcoming race
A dangerous game that could lead to serious injuries, destruction of property and even death, game mandated by yours truly Tantalus!
Even with the dangers of this race, the campers are glad, ever since some guy named "Luke" betrayed the camp, it was advised that no demigod shall go outside of camp without proper jurisdiction
Everyone's been bored, so a game where your life is on the line is entertaining
Your mother looks at the broom you're holding and it vanishes
That's not the only weird thing that happened, the bed covers started to move by themselves and started to dust and put themselves back in place
Aphrodite smiled at you "honey" she said
"yes mom?"
"sing."
What. Now you feel uncomfortable, did she want you to perform or something? Cause if she wanted you can perform a one man show of Hamilton
"just hum darling, a melody whatever comes to your mind" she says
You hesitate for a bit, is this woman trying to do some Disney princess shit on you?
It's not like you can refuse, so you hum
Then the windows opened with birds flying in, they pulled the curtains apart and fixed the carpets, the dirty laundry being dropped in their respective bins (one for each camper)
Oh my gods...
She did Disney princess you
"Now that your chores are out of the way, sit my love"
You sit
She hands you the gifts "I know you'll like them" she grins
You take a peek inside, oh my gods
It's everything you love.
The show you were watching back at the manor? Boom now you have the CDs of them, and a old DVD player
(sorryyy but internet isn't allowed at camp, they're not allowed for demigods at all)
New clothes that match your style, also some camp half-blood shirts in your favorite colors
The continuation of some of your favorite book series ( ;) )
Your favorite comics ( ;) pt2 )
And some comfy pillows and blankets, as well as stuffed toys, cause you were unfortunate enough to not even be able to pack some stuff
You hug your mother tightly and she pats you on the head
You look up and a mischievous thought comes to your mind "what did you give my siblings? I'm gonna prank them" you say
Aphrodite stiffened "Well... Honey, I didn't get them anything"
"what why?"
"I mean... I came here to see you, I've heard you've been training with Athena, I can't have you love her more, you're my favorite after all-" she explains but you cut her off
"don't say that, don't do that"
Her lips pursued "what do you mean sweet?"
"don't call me your favorite, I don't like it when parents have favorites"
You hate favorites, it hurts to be the kid that isn't one, no way you'll let your siblings feel sad
She sighed "Alright, I won't say it anymore, it doesn't change that fact tho, I gave you these gifts because, your situation at your past home wasn't really the best, I figured you deserve more love than your other siblings, I want to understand you more" Aphrodite pats your back and her hand moves in circles, trying to comfort you
That rubbed off in you the wrong way
Very wrong
"so you're not happy that your children aren't suffering? Don't you think you'll make them sad if you ignore them?" You say
"are you only nice to me because I suffered?" You asked
She got defensive "of course not! I love all of you! Just that I happen to love more than the others"
You frown deeply, you hate this right now, this doesn't feel good or prideful at all, why would someone be happy at the fact that the person they care about is loved less? You love your siblings, no way you'll let them feel like they're less important
______________________________
Past
"Just try to understand him (Name), he's lost his parents, I'm the only parental figure in his life" Bruce barely tries to comfort you, a week after adopting Dick, you find the house covered in glass
Every year Alfred makes you and Bruce take family photos, and Dick out of jealousy, broke all those photos with you and your father
Instead of punishing him, Bruce arranged a pictorial with Dick, just the two of them, Bruce never did take another picture with just you
_____________________________
Past
"You want me to sit out?" You ask baffled and sad
Tim Drake, a kid with abusive parents, got adopted by Bruce, he was envious of the fact that you had a "loving parent" who gave you everything you wanted
So the family trip that was supposed to be with you, dick, Jason and Bruce, They made you back out of, to make Tim feel better, so Tim won't feel lesser when he sees you, the biological child
"Just try to understand him okay?" Bruce says as he guides you out of his office
______________________________
Past
"(Name)! What is this behavior! Have you lost your mind!?" Bruce yells at you
After Jason came back, he wasn't the same anymore, he was a lot more violent than he was before
You caught him by surprise, by that I mean he was sneaking around the mansion at night you heard the noise and to not blow his cover he planned to knock you out but forgot you were a trained fighter as well
You hit his head with a vase
And Bruce saw
That was all Bruce seemed to see
He didn't see that you were bleeding as well, he didn't see the dagger that was sticking out of your leg, or the cut that was near your neck
"He had a traumatic experience, can't you just understand him!?" Bruce says
______________________________
Present
You hate that word "Understand" , to you, it means that you have to abandon how you feel so you'd be convenient to your "siblings"
As if reading your mind, your mother sighed
"I will return, don't let any of your siblings go inside the cabin, I'll prepare a surprise for all of you" Aphrodite sees you smile at her words and she disappears
You place your gifts at your bed and you leave the cabin
"(Name)! Ivan calls you, my brother is going to be the lead racer in our cabin, are you going to race?"
"yeah, my siblings have started on it, but I just finished my chores so I can help them now" you smile
____________________________
Batfam: mourning (Name)
Duke an empath: somethings wrong here
__________________
Omgggg this is a long chap
@delias-stuff @sadslasher13 @ellaprime7 @wpdarlingpan @mountvesuvu @chinxinsomnia @nathaly36 @vanessa-boo @bat1212 @ceramic-raven @sweetconnoisseurgardener @dhanyasri @bella-wolf100 @shortnsweetsposts @roseapov @d3sperate-enuf
#yandere batfam#dc#pjo#Percy Jackson#dc universe#percy jackon and the olympians#dcu#percy jackson#yandere#percy pjo#yandere platonic#warmyanderepjoxdc
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the same rain (roman godfrey x reader)
WARNINGS: 18+, fingering, semi-public sex(??), angst, smoking, foul language, Roman needs to get his act together omg
summary: after your date with Roman, you find yourself in a sea of questions-- will you drown or will you float?
word count: 8,347 (sorry not sorry)
PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10
Long ago, back in middle school, I picked up a sentence from a book that etched itself into my mind; "It is the same rain that you loved that drowned you,"
Every minute of every day felt like I was drowning. Thoughts of Roman were continuously holding my head underwater, making it hard to breathe or function properly. Flashbacks to how his hands gripped my hips, the way it felt to have his lips move against mine with unmatched hunger, and his dizzyingly beautiful smile threatened to suffocate everything I was— had I been consumed?
Returning to school was hard, following my date with Roman this weekend. I could barely walk beside Letha without feeling like I was about to faint from the guilt, and I had to get away, just for a moment. So, I ended up in the library, bringing the book I had borrowed a few days ago. I closed my eyes as I leaned against a shelf in a desolate area, enjoying the peace and quiet. Here, Letha wasn't suspicious of me. Here, there were no prying eyes around, ready to bust me as the worst friend in the world.
However, Roman was here. I could sense that it was him before I had even opened my eyes because I could smell the specific cinnamon cigarettes he smoked. It didn't take long for my heart to start drumming in my chest, and I eventually dared to pry my eyes open.
Roman was standing a few steps away from me, holding out an open book in front of him as though he wasn't here to see me at all. It gave me the time to scan him once more; the way his hair hung over his eyes in soft waves, the way his hands were practically the same size as the book, and how he chewed on his lower lip as though he was deep in thought. When he realized that he had my attention, he slowly moved his gaze from the book and to me, his pupils immediately dilating no matter whether he wanted them to or not. However, in pure Roman fashion, he couldn't suppress his growing smirk; "Don't mind me," he said. "Just reading."
"I see..." I held back a giggle; "What are you reading?"
Roman turned the book with a swift flick of his wrist, as though I wouldn't be able to see him do it if he was quick enough. "Uh... It looks like I've picked up Pride and Prejudice,"
It was too late to suppress the snort that escaped me-- I immediately covered my mouth with my hand, watching as Roman's eyes widened, holding back a laugh as well. "Definitely the book for you," I said, trying to recover. "Just perfect. Liking it so far?"
The tension between us was palpable, especially since we weren't addressing what had happened this weekend. It was almost as though I could feel it wrap around me, clawing at my heart-- why was I so happy to see him, and why was it so damn hard to breathe?
All the air I was fighting to keep in my lungs seeped out the second I heard Roman's gorgeous laugh again, watching him smile the most genuine smile I had ever seen splayed out across his lips. "Nope," he said, putting the book away. "This looks like complete and utter shit."
I couldn't help but gasp; "You insult me. That book is a classic!"
"Yeah? Classic case of the snores,"
Groaning, I rolled my eyes as I turned away from him, hoping to suppress my smirk. "What are you doing here, Roman? Don't you have class?"
Roman shrugged, moving closer to me. I watched him lean against the shelf next to me through my peripheral view, holding my breath-- why was this such a thrill? "You're right," he said, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth as he scanned me in a rather obnoxious manner. "I just didn't feel like going. And then I saw you coming in here, so I just wanted to say hi."
I swallowed hard; he wanted to say hi? Roman wanted to... talk to me? Something about that concept was mind-boggling. This definitely wouldn't have happened a week ago. "You didn't call, y'know?" I said, daring to face him.
"Call?" Roman's brows drew together, his green eyes shimmering as he crossed his arms over his chest. "You wanted me to call?"
"Well..." I immediately wanted to take it back-- why had I said that? Stupid! "I don't know, Roman, isn't that what guys usually do after... whatever it was that we did?"
He blinked a few times, biting down on his lips with a puzzled expression on his face. "Did what?"
Something about the way he was batting his lashes at me made me realize he was taking the piss, as always. I groaned, rolling my eyes as I stepped away from the shelf, turning my back to him as I walked to the one opposite us. There was no way in hell I'd adhere to his preferred outcome of this conversation, no way in hell I'd spell it out. "Nothing, Roman. Forget it,"
"Come on!" he said, stepping towards me with a chuckle. "Play along, will you? Just messing around." Roman's arm wrapped around my waist, pulling my back flush against him as he guided my hair to the side, leaning down to press a soft kiss against my neck.
My brain nearly shut down at the feeling of his lips against my skin, but I knew I had to fight it. How would it look if I closed my eyes and let him do whatever he wanted to me right now? In public, again? I let out a squeak, the physical contact feeling like an active elective shock, and I pushed him away as he laughed.
"You can't do that!" I huffed, trying to keep my voice low as I scoped out the area around us, making sure no one saw. As discreetly as I could, my eyes darted down for less than a second, checking whether he was hard again-- I couldn't shake the memory of how he'd gotten aroused after seeing me scared out of my mind this weekend. But I could let out a relieved sigh when I saw that he wasn't, and my cheeks flushed red with the realization that he had just kissed me.
"Fine, alright!" Roman put his hands in the air, taking a step back as he continued to laugh. "So you wanted me to call, is that it?"
Shrugging, I did my best to hide the redness of my face by looking down at the floor. It was rather embarrassing that he knew that I wanted him to contact me-- I hoped he didn't think I was desperate, or something. "I didn't," I mumbled. "I didn't mean it like that."
"You didn't?"
"Nope,"
"Okay... Is this the sort of situation where you wanted me to want to call you?" Roman took a big breath, holding back another laugh. "You girls and your ways... If you wanted to fuck, you could've called me first, y'know?"
That was definitely not what I wanted. Not yet, at least. My eyes rounded out with the realization that Roman's motives were clearly not as gallant and pure as I had made them out to be in my head. "Go away," I mumbled, trying not to look too disappointed. "You know what I feel for you, and I don't need you to rub it in my face. Go to class."
Roman rolled his eyes, taking a step towards me. In my attempt to avoid him, I felt my back hit the shelf behind me, and I looked up at him with big, worried eyes as he cornered me. He pressed himself further up against me as he put his hand next to my head. "I'm not making fun of you. I'm dead serious,"
It felt as though my heart was thudding against his chest, trying to beat him away. "Dead serious about what?"
Roman shrugged, flashing his teeth in a rather sinister-looking smile before leaning down to whisper in my ear; "Call me if you want to,"
"Want to...?"
"To fuck," Roman pressed a kiss right next to my ear, which had my breath hitching. My hand flew up to his chest, ready to push him off of me, but it was as though my body refused to comply with my wishes.
"That's not--" I had to clear my throat before continuing, realizing my brain was threatening to shut down and become another one of his mindless girls. "That's not exactly what I had in mind..."
Roman pulled away from my cheek, nudging his nose against mine. "Tell me, then,"
Why was it so hard to keep a straight thought around this man? "Just... I don't know, is that all you want from me? Sex?" I had to swallow rather hard, letting out a shaky breath against him. Everything about this made my heart drop.
"Well..." Roman paused, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. "What more would you want from me?"
Looking up at him, meeting his green eyes, was too dangerous. I had to look away and try to discard the fluttering of my stomach at every single touch from him. It quickly became obvious that Roman probably didn't know how to handle anything deeper than just casual sex. Everything about it made me sigh; "Roman, I think you know very well what I want from you... And I think it's time for you to find out whether you want the same. Because if not, I need you to leave me alone,"
I put my hand on his chest, making way for me to leave. There wasn't much time to stare at the beautifully stunned expression on his face, wondering what on earth he had done wrong.
All I knew was that we either did this my way or no way.
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈• 。゚
I had successfully made it to the next day, eyes a little puffier than before. My heart was practically in pieces after yesterday's conversation with Roman, wondering whether or not he would ever be interested in me the same way I was about him. After everything we had done together, I still hadn't gotten any confirmation from him that he reciprocated-- it made my whole body ache with a numbness I hadn't felt before.
I was getting a little conscious about my puffy eyes, so I decided to put on the pair of sunglasses I had in my bag despite being inside the cafeteria.
Letha watched me, unable to hold back her giggles; "You look ridiculous. Take them off, please?"
"Stop it," I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest as I watched her finish her lunch. "I think I just had an allergic reaction to something." Lying to Letha again, even if it was something as small as this, made me feel more like a piece of shit than before.
Everything about this situation made me feel horrible. I had put my friendship with Letha on the line, and for what? Some guy that didn't see me as anything more than a sex object?
It seemed that I wasn't the best liar; Letha moved to the edge of her seat, scanning me with a worried look on her face; "Are you okay?" she tried, reaching out to touch my shoulder. "Maybe you're still sick from the weekend... Should I drive you home?"
This was killing me-- absolutely killing me. How was it possible for someone to be so sweet? "No, I'm fine! I promise," The kind look in Letha's green eyes was starting to feel like a drill into my skull, and I didn't know how long I could last with sneaking behind her back concerning my feelings for Roman.
Eventually, Letha made peace with my glasses and odd behaviour, but I still couldn't shake the slight tremble in my legs; I was getting close to confessing, my guilt rising to the brink of my capacity.
Even worse, was that the tremble didn't get any better later that day when I met Roman in an unusually empty stairway. Everything about it made me want to groan and evaporate-- just my luck.
There were barely any people who used this part of the school, which was why I often took this way up to the second floor. It seemed like I wasn't the only one who had taken use of the desolate space; I watched as Roman sat on the banister further up, handing a guy a few dollars in exchange for some cigarettes.
When Roman finally spotted me, I was sure I looked like the world's biggest idiot. It dawned on me that I was staring at him, completely frozen at the sight of his beauty, and I cleared my throat when I finally managed to look away. With shaky steps, I began to make my way up the stairs, hoping he'd let me walk by without making any jokes or mocking comments. Ideally, we wouldn't talk at all. But as I tried to pass him, Roman's hand easily reached out for my wrist, his fingers wrapping around my skin with the gentlest touch.
My breath hitched-- I turned to meet his green, green eyes, noticing that the dealer was gone. The only thing left was him, me, and the pack of cigarettes he had just bought. My eyes darted down to my arm, observing how big his hands were against my skin.
"Did I say something wrong?" Roman eventually asked, an unintelligible emotion swimming in his eyes.
I shrugged, stunned that he was asking that question in the first place. "Why does it matter to you?"
"It doesn't," he said, not missing a beat. Despite his refusal to admit anything, Roman drew his other hand forth to trace circles in the palm of my hand, retracting back into his shell.
My eyes followed his movement, inhaling a shaky breath. What was he doing? Was I really putting my friendship on the line for this? "Roman, I can't be seen with you here--"
"There's no one here," Roman rolled his eyes, clearly not here to fight with me. His grip around my wrist tightened, almost as though he was afraid I'd leave again. "I'm not a fucking idiot, I wouldn't be doing this if I knew someone was watching. What's made you so paranoid?--" His trail of words stopped, eyes rounding out with some sort of realization. " You know what? I have an idea." Roman reached into his pocket, fishing out something silver, something sharp that practically shone beneath the bright lights of the school--
I let out a high-pitched scream, jumping away from him in all-taking panic. "No, no!--"
"Calm down!" Roman barked, holding out the needle over the hollow of the stairwell before dropping it down to the first floor. There wasn't much noise as it hit the ground, other than a high-pitched ringing that lasted for a few seconds.
I realized that I was practically hugging my body, ready to shield myself from any incoming needle attacks, and slowly unwinded my arms from around myself. Letting out the breath I had been holding, I watched Roman's hardening gaze meet mine. "Told you," he said, voice low. "Never wanted to, never planned to."
My eyes dropped to the floor, unable to meet his anymore. "Okay," By instinct, I reached for the sleeve of my sweater, ripping at it with my nails to keep my nerves in check. I hadn't expected to see him today, especially not here and now-- had he noticed my puffy eyes?
Roman sighed, reaching forward to guide me back towards him. "Stop that," he mumbled, grabbing my hands, keeping them separate. "You do that all the time, do you know that?" He nodded towards my sweater, squeezing my hands.
I wondered if it had dawned on him that we were practically holding hands now. If he realized that he was being sweet with me, that he was acting as though he cared. Would it scare him if he knew? I couldn't be sure. All I could be sure of was that this was hurting me either way. With a sigh, I spoke up; "What are you doing?"
Roman's green eyes darted down to our hands, unable to meet my gaze. "I... don't know,"
"Of course you don't," Slowly, I pried my hands away from his, feeling my heart sink into my shoes.
Watching me retreat, Roman opened his mouth to protest; he was ready to speak, but nothing came out. He stared at me with blank eyes for a few seconds, almost as though he had short-circuited.
The air around us started to feel thicker, the tension growing without its needed release-- all until he finally said something; "Look, I don't know why, but you being mad at me is just really inconvenient right now, so... How do I make it up to you?"
It felt as if the air had gotten knocked out of me, and I stared at him in disbelief at his words; "... Inconvenient?"
"Yeah," Roman rolled his eyes, cursing under his breath. It was clear that he didn't know how to properly articulate what he was feeling, and that made everything furthermore frustrating. "I know that you said I have to figure out my feelings for you or whatnot, but I don't think I have any. So, for Letha's sake, I think we should make a truce or something."
"For... Letha's sake?" I had to suppress a laugh-- this was insane. "Since when have you cared about Letha's feelings? Was that before or after you blackmailed me into meeting you everywhere, and then kissed me?"
Not a beat passed before Roman raised his voice in protest; "You said I could! You said 'you can kiss me now if you want to', so I did!"
How was it possible for someone to be so confusing? I balled my fists in an attempt to control my exasperation; "Well, why the fuck did you then?! You say you have no feelings for me, and then you kiss me?--"
"Because I wanted to!" Roman yelled back, gripping the banister with a force that turned his knuckles white. "I've wanted to kiss you again ever since that time we played seven minutes in heaven, so excuse me for taking the opportunity!"
It was immediately clear that he regretted saying that out loud-- his green eyes widened, his plush, pink lips parting in mortification.
However, Roman wasn't the only one that was caught off guard. I was quite sure that my heart had stopped, the ringing in my ears mixing in with the echo of his voice lingering in the empty stairwell. Realizing I had been holding my breath, the rest of it came out in a shaky exhale, my body stiffening with complete and utter shock. "Roman, I--"
"Please don't," His words came out barely more audible than a whisper as he hurried to get off the banister. "Forget I said that. I haven't had my nicotine this morning--"
"Roman!--"
"I don't usually deal with virgins, anyways," Roman mumbled, throwing his bag over his shoulder as he refused to meet my gaze. "Too much work. And you're kind of hard-maintenance."
I couldn't even hold back my reaction to the further blow, letting my jaw fall. "Sorry, what? What is happening right now?"
He shrugged, a forced nonchalance about him as he dragged his fingers through his gelled hair. "Again, I'm not into you like that. And if I wanted a therapist, I would've hired one, right?" That seemed quite funny to him-- Roman's mouth curved up as he let out a nervous laugh, now watching my eyes hollow.
This was probably the biggest whiplash of events I had ever experienced. Completely spellbound by his idiocy, I couldn't do anything other than stare at him. Was he really this clueless, and did he really think these things about me?
I was very abruptly reminded of why I hated him in the first place. I was about to spew verbal acid at him but was interrupted by the door to the second floor swinging open. With quick steps, I moved away from Roman, glaring at him from afar as I hoped to spot a flash of regret.
But hence; nothing.
I realized that the group of boys at the door were Roman's friends, and they quickly spotted him as well. It didn't take long for him to wordlessly join them, bumping fists as they walked past me. Everything about it made me feel like a ghost-- what had just happened?
And why was I so heartbroken over this jerk?
I felt my heart drop, hiding my face in my hands the second I knew they couldn't see me. Everything about this situation was mortifying; Roman didn't have any feelings for me. I hadn't meant anything to him at all, and all of this back-and-forth had been for nothing.
I was ready to run to the bathroom and burst into tears, completely spent and exhausted, until I suddenly heard a conversation coming from beneath;
"Who was that?"
"Who?" This was definitely Roman.
"That chick you were with?"
Intrigued, I pulled myself together before carefully leaning over the banister, trying to get a good look at the gang of boys who were yet to make it all the way to the exit.
"None of your concern," Roman said, giving in to a chuckle.
That wasn't satisfactory enough for the other guy, who proceeded to shrug; "She was cute, though. Do you have her number?"
Roman's eye twitched, his smirk faltering. Without even saying a word, he shoved the other guy rather harshly; "Drop it,"
I immediately stepped away, clasping a hand over my mouth as the rest of the guys laughed, finally leaving the stairwell. Letting out the breath I had been holding, I clutched my heart as my mind raced-- was I imagining things, or were Roman's words betraying his actions?
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈• 。゚
"It is the same rain that you loved that drowned you,"
It was haunting me, at this point. Genuinely.
All the feelings I had for Roman had nowhere to go anymore. For a week now, I had been like a ghost to him. The one thing I had learned about Roman, at the end of the day, was that he was very, very true to his word-- he definitely didn't like me. I could be very sure about this, now that he suddenly had a new cheerleader on his arm again, making it his twelfth. Everything about that made me want to puke; how could I have been so stupid as to believe Roman would feel differently about me? Was he actually the asshole he made himself out to be? Maybe it wasn't a coping mechanism-- maybe it really was just him?
So, so many questions.
I could only watch him from afar on the bleachers, with Letha sitting next to me and revising her notes for an upcoming test. With a heavy heart, I watched as Roman leaned over to kiss the cheerleader's cheek, and I suddenly recognized the girl from my literature classes; Jessica. Fucking Jessica? Come on!
The sight was enough for me to crumble up my notes, not realizing what I was doing until Letha nudged me; "Uh... What are you doing?" she asked, her green eyes giving me a weird look.
In an instant, I let go of the paper, accidentally letting it fall to the floor. "Sorry," I mumbled, bending down to pick it up. "I just didn't get much sleep. I'm spasming up." It was hard not to shudder-- lying to my best friend had become a habit, and there was nothing I hated more.
Letha didn't seem to buy it, but she also didn't comment. Instead, she wrapped an arm around me, soothingly rubbing my back. "What's up with you these days?" she asked, concern coated in her soft voice. "What's bothering you? You can tell me anything, you know that?"
The soft cotton of her sweater, the kindness of her being-- my heart was actively breaking. I didn't deserve any of it.
Everything felt so worthless at this point; especially while watching Roman's public display of affection to this girl that he barely even knew. Had he actually taken my romance tips and applied them to someone else? Asshole move number one. Eventually, I turned to Letha, a sense of anxiety washing over me as I realized what I was about to do; "Anything?"
My angel of a best friend only held me tighter, shooting me a kind, warm smile as she nodded. "Anything,"
"Okay..." It was getting hard to breathe-- was I really going through with this? My pulse quickened, my words coming out with a sliver of panic; "Please don't kill me, okay?"
Letha tucked a strand of her long, blonde hair behind her ear, worry filling her eyes. "Seriously, you're torturing me at this point, just say it," She squeezed my shoulders as she attempted a smile. Even in the most tense moments, she still tried to put me at ease.
There was no way I could back down now, and I wanted so badly to be done with it. To be done with the guilt, the shame, and the heartbreak. Just as I was about to speak up, it felt as though my mouth had dried up, and I was beyond breathless when I finally blurted it out; "Roman and I kissed at that party where we played seven minutes in heaven. And... another time after that."
Letha might as well have frozen over. There was no single movement whatsoever. Her arm remained wrapped around me as she stared at me with an empty look, eyes wider than I had ever seen them before.
I caught a glimpse of Roman kissing his new girl of the week in my peripheral view, and along with my confession, that was enough for my tears to press their way up in my eyes with a burn unlike anything I had ever felt in my life.
I could swear that Letha was furious. That she wanted to throw me down the bleachers and stomp my face in. But instead, she slowly retreated her arm around me, holding her breath. Letha's green eyes glossed over, unable to meet my gaze anymore. "You... What?"
With swift movements, I pressed the sleeve of my sweater up against my eyes, not wanting to cry in public. "Could I please explain?" I tried, holding back a sob-- why on earth had I decided to do this now?
"What is there to explain?" Letha wrapped her jacket tightly around her body, almost as though to hug herself, her words coming out in a breathy mumble. "You kissed. Twice. Had it been once, I might've gotten it because it was a party game, but... you went back for more?" The hurt in her voice was thick, and I couldn't help but notice how small she sounded; I had never seen Letha so upset.
Her question haunted me, and I buried my face in my hands. "I'm so sorry, Letha, I never meant to hurt you or go behind your back--"
"Is it at least something serious between you two?" Something about Letha hardened, and her words were starting to choke me. "Please tell me you pulled this crap for a good reason?"
I sniffled, wiping away any impending tears with my sleeve. The truth made my confession even more mortifying-- saying it out loud only made me feel worse; "He says he has no feelings for me..."
Letha nodded, crossing her arms over her chest as she slowly started rocking herself. "And you have feelings for him?" When she didn't get an answer, she finally looked at me, meeting my glossy eyes with a glare so harsh that I nearly shuddered. I would've never thought Letha would be capable of pulling such an expression. Enraged, she raised her voice; "You have feelings for him?!"
Panicked, I put my hands over my head, almost as though I was scared she'd hit me. "I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry, Letha, you have no idea!--" As I heard her shuffle about, I raised my eyes to see her gather her stuff, ready to leave. My tears were burning in my eyes, obscuring my vision as I desperately grabbed her hand. "Letha, please! I made a mistake, I never wanted to do this to you!--"
"But you did!" Letha sneered, throwing her backpack over her shoulder. She turned to me with a look that would etch itself into my mind for days to come, a look so furious that it gave me goosebumps. "You're no different than the rest. Go be one of his whores, for all I care!"
Stunned, I watched as she made her way off the bleachers, not looking back. I didn't know Letha had it in her to call me slurs, but at the same time... I knew I deserved it. However, nothing could prepare me for the avalanche of sadness that would ensue my confession; I was dead sure that I had lost my best friend, and what had I gained in the process? I buried my face in my hands, allowing tears to run down my cheeks, trying to make myself as small as possible. My shoulders slumped, wanting to ball myself up into nothing and disappear.
I did my best to get myself together, sniffling as I wiped away my tears. Reminding myself that I was in public, and that I definitely didn't want to make a scene, I let out a shaky breath as I gathered my stuff and got ready to leave. But just as I stood up, I couldn't help but look in Roman's direction, wanting to get a quick glance at the root cause of my misery.
However, I hadn't thought that he would be looking back at me as well.
There he was, his arm wrapped around another girl, but he couldn't take his eyes off me. He wouldn't-- Roman's gaze didn't shy away as our eyes met. Instead, they rounded out with the realization that I had been crying.
Seeing him again, being acknowledged, was enough to drive me over the edge once more. Letting out a quiet sob, I stormed off the bleachers, clasping a hand over my mouth. Who would've thought my ridiculous crush would lead to these gut-wrenching feelings? It felt as though I couldn't breathe, heaving for air as I rushed to get away from everything and everyone.
"It is the same rain that you loved that drowned you,"
To my surprise, it didn't take long before I heard the familiar sound of long steps following me. My heart beat so hard, I thought it might explode and cover the school grounds in my flesh and blood. The way my pulse quickened made me nauseous-- I needed to get away. "Go away, Roman!" I clutched my heart as I sped up; I didn't need to turn around to know it was him.
His next question could've easily been answered if he'd listened closely to the sob I was suppressing; "Are you crying?" Roman didn't have to do much to catch up to me, but he wasn't lunging at me just yet. "Why are you crying?"
I couldn't believe I had to deal with him on top of everything-- I groaned, turning around to face him despite how bloodshot my eyes looked. "Could you back off? Go back to your braindead cheerleader!"
It was clear that Roman hadn't expected to be confronted head-on like this. His green eyes widened before they hardened, balling his fists as he spoke; "Why are you so fucking mad? What did I do this time?"
"Everything!" I inhaled a shaky breath, burying my face in the crook of my arm to hide my tears. There was no way in hell I was about to cry openly in front of this douchebag. "I just-- I just lost Letha because of you! I got so swept up in you, I caused a fucking avalanche!" My lower lip gave in to a quiver, and multiple tears escaped the crease of my arm, now rolling down my chin and landing on the grass beneath us. "And you obviously don't give a damn about me, and I've been throwing my feelings at you like an idiot, and I just... How could I have been so stupid?"
I swallowed another sob, making an unsuccessful attempt at wiping away my tears. Refusing to meet his eyes, I sniffled as my gaze fell to the ground, shaking my head in denial as Roman stayed silent. "Please, I... need to be alone. I don't want to make myself look even worse in front of you than I already do--"
My ramble escaped me with my next breath; it got caught in my throat as I felt the soft fabric of Roman's sweater against my chin, silently wiping away my tears. It was clear that he figured out I had told Letha. I dared to look up at him, finding an unusually forgiving tenderness about him.
Speechless, I could only stare right back. Roman was focused on wiping away every hint of a tear, his brows drawing together as he carefully traced the bags under my eyes. The kindness of his gesture, the softness in which he was tending to my sadness, made a familiar warmth spread through my chest all up into the tips of my fingers. It became too much-- I reached for his hand, prying it away from my face. "Why are you doing this?"
Roman shrugged, debating whether to say what was on his mind. It was clear that he was conflicted, and I could see it in the way his shoulders tensed up and the way his jaw clenched. "Doing you a favour. Your mascara is everywhere," Roman grew more and more uncomfortable with my silence. "Just stop crying, okay? Do you want me to talk to Letha?"
"I doubt that will help," I mumbled, sniffling. "Look, Roman, I really can't do this right now... You and your bullshit just lost me my best friend, do you realize that?"
He shrugged; "Letha will come around... I guess we'll have to wait it out,"
"We?" I huffed, wiping away the tears that were threatening to spill once more. "There is no we. Letha is family to you, so of course she'll forgive you! Me, on the other hand!--"
"There could be," Roman mumbled, interrupting me. His gaze darted down to his shoes, now chewing on his lower lip as his next words came out with a low whisper; "A we, I mean."
What? I shook my head, immediately going into denial. "... What are you even saying?" Something about his words sent me over the edge again-- I was so tired of the illusion of everything turning out alright between us. The exhaustion brought more tears to my eyes, and I brought my hands up to my face, hiding from him in plain sight. "Go away," I said, my voice shaky from the sadness consuming me. "Go away, please just go away! I don't need you to change your mind every week whether you have feelings for me or not, just-- Go!"
Roman sighed before stepping forward, completely taking my breath away as he wrapped his arms around me. It felt as though he understood that I wasn't pushing him away with malice, but more so to protect myself-- and right now, he was wrapped around me like a shield. I didn't have any fight left in me to push him away, so I buried my face against his chest, inhaling the smell of cinnamon cigarettes that I had weirdly missed.
"Let's go somewhere else, okay?" Roman said, sizing up the people passing us by with a scowl. "I have a feeling you don't want everyone to see this. Just follow me."
It didn't shock me that Roman's first thought was his car-- but I still ended up right there. In the dreaded backseat. Hadn't I promised myself I'd never set foot there? It seemed all my thoughts of reason flew out the window when I was in this state. He was currently tending to my new tears, wiping them away with the pads of his fingers. "Letha will forgive you," he murmured, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "Do you maybe want a cigarette? They usually help me take the edge off... I have different flavours, if you want?"
I shook my head, feeling my headache swell from all the crying. "No thanks," I said. "And I think Letha would rather cut her head off than forgive me right now. She even called me a whore."
"... You?" was the first thing that came out of Roman's mouth. "The only virgin left at this school?"
Despite how sad I was, it didn't hold me back from hitting his arm. Roman let out a warm chuckle, grabbing my hands, forcing them away from him. "Just stop crying, alright? Pretty girls aren't allowed to cry in the back of my car,"
"... What?" I turned to him, brows drawing together in confusion. Did he just...?
Roman broke into a smile, nodding to my cheeks; "See? Not crying anymore. Flattery works every time,"
I held back a rather large groan-- I wasn't up for Roman's party tricks, especially not in this state. Knowing that he knew what I felt for him, knowing he used it to toy with me just for the fucks, made me even more angry. "I think I'm good now," I mumbled, turning away from him. "I don't think I should be seen here with you... Letha might actually think I have no heart."
There was a thick silence that fell over us like fog-- it made me face Roman again just to check what the hold-up was. And there he sat, his face suddenly completely serious, his brows drawing together in... anger? "Well, you chose this for yourself," he said, clenching his jaw as his black pupils shrunk.
Everything about him right now scared me. Why was he staring at me like that? It was as though he was about to pounce and rip me to shreds. "Roman, what's up with you?--"
"You're not the fucking victim here," Roman's words came out with a sneer, sharp enough to cut through wood. "You asked me to kiss you. You started this. Being seen with me is not what's going to make Letha think you're heartless, so either you own up to your crap or leave me the fuck out of it!"
My lips parted in complete and utter shock. I blinked repeatedly, hoping to blink away the angry expression on his face. "What the fuck?" I sat up, tucking my hair behind my ears as I attempted to size him up. "You're the one who dragged this shit out! You threatened to tell Letha we kissed if I didn't comply to your wishes, and then you damn near dry-humped me in that fucking alleyway!"
"Hey!"
I could barely believe it; in the middle of his outburst, I could see hints of a blush creeping up his cheeks. "You know I'm right!" I barked back, balling my fists. I couldn't believe we were having the same argument over and over. "I wouldn't have been in this mess if you hadn't stirred the fucking pot! You could've said no in that fucking closet!"
Roman quickly got enough of my retaliation; "You know why I didn't!"
"Yeah, and fuck you for that!" The volume of our altercation was rising-- I hoped people passing by the car couldn't hear this. "You shouldn't have kissed me! You should've just told me no, you owed me that kindness!"
Roman's eye twitched, and I was sure he hadn't blinked in about a minute. "I didn't owe you any kindness! You've always been horrible to me!--"
"Because you've been horrible back!"
"And why do you think that is? You think it's easy to be treated like shit by the one person you?!--" Roman inhaled sharply, eyes widening as yet another confession slipped past his lips. It was clear that he was mortified, that he had definitely not wanted to let that slip, but his eyes never left mine in shock and horror.
It felt as though I had been electrocuted, completely frozen in my seat. Uttering my next words felt as though I was walking through a minefield; "Person you... What?"
It didn't take long before Roman started squirming, eyes now frantically doing everything not to meet mine. "Shut up," he breathed, reaching over to open the car door on my side. Now that he was leaning across me like this, it was obvious that he was trying to get me to exit the vehicle. However, his face betrayed him-- Roman's hand gripped the door handle, slowly turning his head towards me. Like this, I could feel his breath hot and heavy against my lips, inches away from me.
I wasn't sure why I was digging my nails into my seat as though I was about to be mauled by a wildcat. The intensity oozing from Roman along with the realization that I had nowhere to run completely engulfed me, and my instincts suddenly pushed all thoughts of reason out of my brain. I had no idea what came over me as I put my hand over his, closing the door to the car before doing what I never thought I would do in this situation; our lips came together in a hot, fiery kiss as Roman leaned forward, laying me flat against the backseat.
I told myself I would never end up in this situation-- in the back of Roman's car. But here I was, splayed out beneath him like all his cheerleader whores, completely out of breath as I gave in to my deepest, darkest desires. The taste of cinnamon tobacco entered my system, and I couldn't help but moan out against him; I had been dreaming of being reunited with him like this for longer than I could remember. So as Roman's weight on top of me gave me a sense of security, the need for his kisses dulled down all my logical thinking.
There was nothing more important than this. There never had been.
The next thing that happened snapped me out of the constant static noise buzzing in my brain; "I want you so bad," Roman breathed against me, the whiny tone in his voice making my stomach flutter and flip-- was I maybe dreaming?
"Fuck Letha," he continued, his kisses now trailing down my jaw and neck, grabbing at me as though he was afraid I'd disappear. "Fuck all of that."
No, no, no. I couldn't. "Don't-- Don't say that," It had never been harder to inhale a simple breath before, and I let my lips part in pleasure as I realized Roman was leaving hickeys in the crook of my neck. Why was he doing that? Did he not know everyone would see them and make conclusions?--
Oh.
Before I could protest, Roman's plush lips were back on mine, melting me against him with the softest kisses known to man. In a flash of passion, my hands went up into his hair in an attempt to bring him closer. I could feel the thud of his heart against mine, realizing his was racing as well-- I wondered whether he reacted like this to all his girls. Warmth blossomed in my chest, sparks igniting as Roman leaned in close, lips brushing together as we tried to catch our breaths. The smell of his cologne and the deep citrus scent of his conditioner made me dizzy to the point where it felt as though butterflies danced in my stomach. But the warmth consumed me, completely in awe of the fact that we were reunited again as I leaned into the next kiss, Roman's lips impossibly sweet against my own.
He didn't have to say anything for me to know he had missed me too. The unspoken words passed between us with each stroke of my fingers against his back, each kiss he placed against the corners of my mouth, and the softness of his thumb caressing my cheek.
Roman pulled away as his long, slender fingers dug themselves into my waist. "Can I try something?"
What? I was too dazed, too content to immediately deny him. But had I known what he would do next, I probably wouldn't have agreed so fast. Roman leaned forward to unite our lips in another passionate kiss, but I couldn't feel his hands on me anymore. It took me a few seconds to realize he was unbuttoning my jeans and reaching my zipper.
My eyes widened against the kiss, and the squeak I let out got muffled against his lips. In a flash of panic, my hand reached down to grab his arm with speed I didn't know I had. Roman hummed, detaching our fiery union as his green eyes met mine, trying to find the reason for my panic. "Come on," he purred, the look of mischief spreading across his lips.
"I'm not doing it in the back of your car!" My fingers were still digging into the skin of his arm, making sure he wouldn't move.
Roman rolled his eyes; "Not what I was getting at, but whatever," A laugh escaped him, tilting his head to the side as he looked down at me splayed out across the backseat. "I'm not that evil. I wouldn't let you have your first time here."
A sense of comfort washed over me-- since when did he take pity on me? "Then what... What are you doing?"
He shrugged, holding back another laugh; "Giving you a sneak peek,"
I wasn't sure what that entailed, but my grip around his arm loosened.
Something about me changed whenever Roman was around. A part of me wanted to please him, appease him, and entice him into staying with me like this forever, no matter what. I wanted nothing more than for us to be together, no matter how hard my conscience was gnawing at me regarding the Letha situation. But thoughts of my best friend quickly evaporated as Roman's finger was suddenly deep in my cunt-- I wasn't quite sure when I had managed to get wet, but here I was. It must've been somewhere in between the fighting and the kissing.
I could only whimper against his kisses, not used to having anything in me at all. There was a certain sting, but it dulled down when Roman was at the hilt of his knuckle. It quickly turned into something I had never felt before-- I couldn't put my finger on exactly what it was, but it felt as though all the butterflies in my stomach melted into one, a weirdly pleasurable ache building in my lower abdomen.
As Roman added a second finger into me, careful to go in with slow strokes, my back arched slightly off the backseat of the car. Suppressing a moan, the hand I had in his hair tightened as a certain desperation ran through my veins. I watched as Roman smirked down at me, a knowing look in his eyes as he spoke; "If this feels good, imagine how it will feel when you get the real deal,"
I nearly shuddered-- that thought alone almost sent me over the edge. I could only writhe, my hips meeting the thrusts of his fingers as Roman ran his tongue along my bottom lip.
I was aware that all of this was a bad idea. To get more involved with Roman, to let him unravel me further; it was plain stupid. And horrible to Letha. I knew it was awful, that Roman and I shouldn't be together, and that I should be running after my best friend to keep begging for forgiveness.
Everything was starting to make my head spin.
As I came hard around Roman's digits, letting out a moan against his lips which would later make me blush, I couldn't help but wonder what on earth to do next. Should I let it all spiral? Should I get myself together and fix my friendship?
My thoughts completely shut down as Roman's wet fingers made their way past my lips, making me lap up my own slick.
Filthy. We were filthy, we were fucking horrible, and his following words didn't make me feel any better.
"Let's give it a try," Roman whispered against my lips, sincerity swimming in his green eyes. "You and I... It just has to happen. This feels too good to be wrong, fuck what Letha says."
There they were, the words I had wanted to hear from him all along. But now that he was right here, telling me he wanted us to be together, I found myself unsure what to say. When Roman leaned forward to sneak in a soft kiss, muffling the warmth of his chuckle, I realized I had a decision to make-- I knew it would end up being one of the hardest decisions of my life so far.
I held my breath, realizing the quote that had haunted me was correct after all; "It is the same rain that you loved that drowned you,"
(a/n: here are the links to PART 1, PART 2, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10!! thank you for reading!!<33)
#roman godfrey#hemlock grove#roman godfrey x reader#x reader#bill skarsgård#fanfiction#oneshot#bill skarsgard#fanfic#smut#angst#toxic relationship#JUSTICE FOR LETHA FFS#ugh i love him#highschool!au
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