#doesn’t require lots of thinking
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I hate that I know now exactly who your talking about. I’ve blocked them months ago Jane is absolutely insufferable
there’s a recent video made on her and it’s lowkey kinda funny bc she gets mad at a comp player for some reason. i forgot who asks to 1v1 but the person (laser) asked for no chess merchant. bc chess merchant.. she goes her anyways and funnily enough breaks main doors (they’re on coal tower, and it’s low key weird to give urself that advantage in a 1v1)
with him being a comp player he runs her like shit (though she was running the two purples that speed her up and slow survs down. basically training wheels) and when she downs him she bms him by humping him and then mori’ing him.. IN A 1V1 😭 petty as fuck
he decides to go skull merchant running the same addons as her with brutal, does the same thing and breaks main doors bc she did it first. and obviously destroys her in the 1v1 and downs her within 30-40 seconds in chase. she dcs and asks for a rematch which also ends in her getting downed relatively fast. she dcs and then goes on about how he’s a bad person spreading toxicity, that his chat is transphobic (one person accidentally called her by he instead of she and a mod quickly deleted the message and warned them. everybody else was being respectful)
she also proceeded to gaslight and project her trauma onto him very aggressively and overall was being a dick to someone who didn’t deserve it
not to mention her very entitled behavior thinking content creators need to reach out to her when she’s not feeling good (she said she was disappointed too. like she EXPECTED someone to be there for her) which is very manipulative and playing victim because nobody is entitled to be her therapist, especially when she already has one. the “jerks guide for ___” guy has a post about it on his twitter if you wanna see the ss
she’s also been outed more for gaslighting, being very aggressive and manipulative to others.
she does very questionable stuff and i hope she gets better because clearly she’s not doing well. with all the hate she’s getting just for being trans and playing sm i can somewhat see why she acts the way she does, but it doesn’t mean she gets to act like an asshole
#i really recommend watching the most recent jane video on yt#it’s kinda funny how petty she is about 1v1ing#she said ‘bc ur bad’ when he didn’t want chess merchant#LIKE NO SHE JUST GETS HASTE AND HER POWER IS ANTI LOOP AS WELL AS ANTI GEN#ITS NOT FUN EITHER WAY UR NOT DIFFERENT FOR PLAYING ‘CHASE MERCHANT’#it’s the equivalent of using guards during chase as knight#at every single loop#and then complaining when people think it’s boring#like every single loop just#drone#it’s just a zoning power like#i’m glad you chase but drones are still anti loop and reward the killer for pressing a singular button#not to mention addons also reward you just for existing in the drones radius while needlessly punishing the survivor#i can totally see why people think she’s fun though#very very very very easy#doesn’t require lots of thinking#guaranteed 4k = easy bps
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SAID HE LIKES CRAZY GIRLS,
BUT HE HATES WHEN I ACT CRAZY,
IT TAKES TWO TO TOXIC!
FINALLY!!! Finished these pics of jinx I’ve been working on!!!!! HOLY SHIT, these took so long…. But finally… they’re done… pls enjoy this art of my beautiful princess w a disorder. Featuring alternate colors for the big pic and also a closeup! Cuz I rlly like how both the lines and coloring on her face turned out… like the pink gradients w her eye… her deer in headlights expression,, like uve just startled a raccoon digging thru ur trashcan and r two seconds away from getting mauled.. m proud of it!
#arcane#league of legends#jinx#jinx arcane#arcane jinx#doodles#hate and love how hardcore I relate to jinx…#little sisters w dependency issues.. + a whole lot of other issues#anyway the ‘he’ in the ‘crazy girl’ lyrics is in my mind referring to both vi and silco lol#I’m sORRY! I keep seeing ppl hardcore pitting these 2 bad bitches against each other#and it’s like… silco is objectively. morally worse than vi.. vi is not like. a ruthless crime lord#vi IS 100% trying her best and loves her sister. but she still screwed up w jinx#and silco ALSO truly loves jinx. but also screwed up by fucking. trauma bonding w her ghgh-#like.. silco is too close. he’s like. yes go apeshit jinx I support and love you and understand u no matter what fucked up shit u do.#were the same. and that’s beautiful!!! I love how supportive he is…#but its like.. silcos too close. he just became a new person for jinx to glomp onto and base her self esteem around after vi left#and he doesn’t manipulate that on purpose but. he DOES effect that girls mental state. cuz he needs her too#meanwhile vi is too far away… she thinks she knows who jinx is. but jinx has changed… time marches forward. she’s not that little girl#anymore#and nOW! after the finale jinx has NOBODY TO BE CODEPENDENT W..#her mental state has always been so tied up in how the ppl she puts on pedestals view her#and now there’s no pedestal anymore. she knocked down the statues. she’s alone…#it’s interesting….#anyway I’m not trying to say vi is as bad as silco at ALL. just that she’s an equally important building block in jinx’s mind#that has made her into the fucked up lil person she is today. and I think that’s neat.#lol anyway! I’m hyped for season 2….#aLSO GOD DAMN THIS GIRLS OUTFIT IS COMPLICATED. WHY DO U GOT SO MANY BITS N BOBS JINX??? I mean I get it accessories rock.#but u take so much time to draw ghfhg- require so much brainpower#aLSO ADDENDUM. while silco is objectively morally worse than vi his relationship w jinx is genuinely. like. makes me emotional ghgh-#its not perfect. or healthy. but… it’s. the both of them. being seen. and accepted. and loved and understood.. and I love that shit.
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I don’t like when people ask how many books you plan to read/have read this year one because I think that’s a weird relationship to have to books and two because I think even reading a chapter or a portion of something is valuable. this is especially true with non-fiction but even with fiction I think any amount you read, even if you don’t read the entire thing, is not a failure or ‘incomplete’
#I read basically exclusively non fiction and every page I read is beneficial like I’m always learning something#like my relationship to reading is often extractive and utilitarian because of school and research#but that extractive process doesn’t require reading the whole text like 99.9% of the time#I’ve only read a third of Orientalism for example but like I have a good grasp of Said’s core arguments and concepts#and like part of how I finished authoritarian personality (a 1000 page book) was by skipping & skimming sections#like the whole is not always more valuable than its components#and also like ‘I read this book to complete it’ is not an insincere way to engage with a text but I feel like it’s limiting#if that’s your primary approach to reading. Like you read a book just to say you read it#& also more petty but I think that if your argument or thesis only works if people read 100% of your book then you’re doing a poor job#of getting your point across#again obviously it’s valuable to read and process whole complete texts not dismissing that but like#I don’t find a lot of inherent value in reading a book just to complete it u know
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Wip
#wip#I finished the panels and speech bubbles so I’m taking a break to get an ice cream sandwich then coming back to do lineart#Honestly the worst thing about making these comics is that I can’t depict some of the stuff I really want to depict#Bc decent storytelling requires restraint#But I think a lot about everything and so I put an unnecessary amount of thought into this shit that I can’t reasonably add to the comic#Without making it feel out of character or just sorta tonally weird (admittedly I feel like I stretch it too thin as it is)#The reason I do these besides just bc I like making them and it’s fun is bc I am fascinated with Chilchuck as a character#And I have a very specific idea of his life based on the crumbs Ryoko Kui leaves us#Which I wanna. Like. Force other ppl to witness I guess 😭#But character exploration without any proper storytelling to frame it is boring to me#like I might as well just write it all out in an essay at that point#Anyways all that to say that I am annoyed that my comic about what Chilchuck saw when he said he saw his dad on the other side#Doesn’t leave room for me to show that I think his dads death indirectly led to Meijack being born and clarify why and how I think that hap#And that the whole sequence of events there is too long and unrelated to reasonably fit into those little extras I do sometimes
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my most toxic trait as an artist who is also primarily an instrumental musician is that it bothers me immensely when people draw incorrectly held instruments. if i had infinite time and energy i would love to make a reference image pack of correctly held musical instruments
#it’s usually the worst with flute and unfortunately flute is my primary instrument#and just googling stock images of people with instruments is how to find the most egregious and horrifically wrong shit#if you want to know how to draw someone playing an instrument id recommend looking up videos of professionals playing and taking screenshots#or even just looking up how to hold it so you have a better understanding#i dont think the modern western flute is a very intuitive instruemnt to hold and it requires specific instruction#so just knowing where the flute rests in your hand will allow you to draw someone holding it correctly#i hope this doesn’t sound condescending lol this is just me complaining because i love complaining#dont ever feel as though you cant draw people holding instruments just because you might do it wrong#i love seeing people draw characters playing instruments it always makes me happy :)#and a lot of my own internal criticism of people in art holding instruments wrong comes from the ingrained western superiority ever present#within western classical musicians#that is our responsibility to examine and unlearn#anyways thank you musicology class for making me Think A Lot#yeehaws
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I know I’ve made other posts talking about or alluding to this but like. obviously there are like the old hollywood movies in the sort of dyke subtext canon (all about eve, rebecca, johnny guitar, etc) but like. there are so many movies that like 10 people have seen but I have such a clear gay vision or interpretation for it. most of them aren’t even GOOD. and yet!!
like the great lie is the one that haunts me the most (or the women but I think that one is kind of different for me perhaps bc I’ve already talked about it here a lot or perhaps bc I think of it as being more well known and watched than I think it actually is? actually it’s probably that I think it is an overall good and well executed and entertaining movie which isn’t really true of most of these tbh). but I also think a lot about like when ladies meet, or old acquaintance, or sadie mckee, or the shining hour, or the model and the marriage broker, or a woman’s secret, or the bigamist, or craig’s wife, or born to be bad, or separate tables, or even dark victory to a degree. others too certainly those are just the ones that come to mind. for half of these it’s not even like oh these women are gay together it’s just like hey I think she’s a lesbian. and I’m right. but my genius will never be fully appreciated in my day unfortunately.
#a woman’s secret has kind of been haunting me since I watched it like a week or so ago in that it’s literally got so many interesting#pieces and facets and I find so much of it very interesting but they just like really don’t dig in or come together so it’s enough that#I think about it and not remotely satisfying which I’m beginning to think is just how I feel about nicholas ray’s stuff. I don’t really#have a large sample but like born to be bad is not a movie that I think is good but it has like infected me somehow. which i did and still#do largely attribute to joantaine. but like idk. and also I wanted to like Johnny guitar and obviously there’s a lot of interesting stuff#in there to dissect it just… feels unsatisfying/like it doesn’t come together. idk what it is.#also like it is fully sampling bias that across the three I listed as noted subtext and then all the others I listed#there’s uh. 4 joan crawford movies 4 bette davis movies 3 joan fontaine movies#but it’s still really funny to me lmao… I will say how did I not list ANY babs movies… that can’t be right… I mean like night nurse#and ladies they talk about def have some gay moments and like. walk on the wild side exists lmao#but I wouldn’t really consider any of those to be consistent with the thing I’m trying to describe here lol#anyways. I think that’s enough rambling for now.#old hollywood#my post#also I would happily expand on my vision for any of these lmao. it’s just that I think it generally requires a certain familiarity with the#movie itself and. a lot of these I wouldn’t necessarily recommend? not that they’re all bad just like. not incredible idk#which kind of hinders this a bit. and now like I could give background provide clips etc but then that’s requiring a level of effort#that I’m not gonna spontaneously exert while sitting in bed Thinking. which is what this post is lmao. (‘that’s enough rambling for now’#I said several tags ago… a fact which I could easily change but shan’t.)#(edit of prior tags to say that I wrote the tags before mentioning the women in this post bc idk for a moment I lived in a world in which#everyone knew the women was about dykes. so anyways it’s now 5 joan movies 4 joantaine movies#which is neat. the sampling bias is also fun bc like yes 5 joan movies is a lot to mention but I’ve seen like 30 joan movies so.#of course there are other movies of hers where I would be calling her gay but like im less invested. joantaine is a lot funnier to me bc#I’ve only actually seen 7 joantaine movies. and like ok including the bigamist is admittedly wild given that my queer interpretation of it#is like. her and ida lupino who do not so much as meet in the film. but the extent to which I wish they did fuels me)
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The talk about gen alpha kids being uniquely terrible students always confuses me bc on the one hand I’m not denying that the prevalence of screens and technology in our everyday lives has had a huge impact on kids, but on the other hand when people talk about how uniquely disrespectful or violent or entitled gen alpha kids are I’m like but are they actually??
I honestly think class might be part of it, bc I’ve both tutored and taught afterschool activities at public schools that were specifically in working class areas and that was not my experience at all. I mean yes there were absolutely kids who were disrespectful or difficult and could even be aggressive, but the underlying causes of those issues was always really clear to me. I could spot a kid who needed more support than they were getting really, really easily.
Every student who was really difficult with me very obviously had something going on that I just wasn’t qualified to help with (usually a learning disability or behavioral issue that stemmed from a specific neurodivergence that wasn’t being addressed, often exacerbated by issues with their homelife or economic situation).
The 5th graders could be especially snotty, but that feels par for the course frankly. Older kids approaching puberty tend to act out more bc they’re testing out the development of their own autonomy and personal freedom in a way younger kids haven’t quite reached developmentally. It’s a messy process just like actual adolescence is.
At the same time, so many of those kids of all ages were so sweet and so genuinely wanted to do well and socialize and improve their skills. And a lot of those kids also had some really difficult and heavy things going on. Most of them did have some kind of personal device at home like a phone or iPad, but I rarely had to tell students off for being on any sort of personal device. The kids who brought their phones with them were usually pretty good at keeping them put away. And the ones who weren’t were also ones who, again, had other underlying issues that had nothing to do with their technology use.
I’m sure there are plenty of terrible entitled iPad kids out there but to act like gen alpha students are all some doomed generation of little monsters is just really weird. I don’t think that reflects reality at all. I think we can have conversations about parental neglect and access to technology and entitlement without acting like children have never even approached being this difficult before. As if educators weren’t saying the exact same thing about Gen X 40 years ago! It all seems very silly to me. Like yeah educating kids has unique challenges these days but also maybe people who work with kids wouldn’t suddenly be convinced that gen alpha is uniquely terrible if they also had some actual support and decent pay. Maybe we’d be able to take a step back and see the bigger overarching patterns. Idk
#I mean I do think a lot of kids are undersocialized after living through the pandemic#but undersocialization can present in so many different ways#it doesn’t automatically make a child cruel and entitled and difficult#also blaming gentle parenting is rlly funny bc in my experience the parents who talk about using gentle parenting are not the permissive#parents#permissive parents are almost always also neglectful#meanwhile gentle parenting actually requires soooo much constant engagement with your kid#the two groups don’t actually overlap as much as some people seem to think
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I don’t like JoJo Siwa as a person but I feel like “Yesterday’s Tomorrow’s Todays” is referencing Fahrenheit 451 pretty heavily and I kind of like it (uh, minus the autotune abuse, that is)… anyone else?
And it’s perfect because if you look into the lyrics very closely at all, they make zero sense, just like the television programs in that fictional world.
#fahrenheit 451#I think she’s making reference to it anyway????#jojo siwa#She doesn’t really seem like she’d be into literature though#Seems so hyperactive she doesn’t have the patience for anything requiring deep concentration and lots of sitting#and if she hasn’t already she should REALLY seek an ADHD diagnosis (let’s be honest the ADHD is the least of her problems)#Just really honestly please go to therapy. For everyone’s sake; most importantly for your XOMG girlies who you scream at constantly#Not cool
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i can litcherally connect every issue people complain about within fandom in recent years to late stage capitalism
#i fr need to finish my essay on capitalism within fandom#i’m telling you. every single complaint. from lack of interaction to only short fics/blurbs being far more popular#to people being soooo scared to create dark content or create dark content that actually explores the horrible repercussions and trauma#that comes w said dark content#like all of it#give me a complaint/issue and i can pull the mask off of it and it will still be capitalism#i just think ppl misdiagnose the reason for these things a lot!!! and don’t realize when capitalism creeps into their own thought process!#not condemning just saying this is why it’s important to be diligent with yourself#and analytical with your own thought processes and who you’re pointing fingers at#or why#it doesn’t fix anything either#just furthers to individualize you in a place that requires community#pointing your fingers at bigger ‘clique’ blogs or even readers who don’t interact…..isn’t going to get you far#bc the issue is still capitalism#and until we can all acknowledge that……….🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️#cielo rambles!
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blue please tell me i'm not the only one that thinks the story in totk is severely lacking if not outright bad 😭 or at least tell me what i'm missing that's making everyone sing its praises cuz i sincerely feel cucco bananas rn
ok i’m nowhere near finished with the game yet but from what i’ve played so far, totk is a much more classic zelda-like experience, which makes sense given that that was many zelda fans’ main critique about botw. botw’s story was a lot more. overt i guess? than most games in the franchise, and it kicked in almost immediately. in other zelda games it’s very common for the story to unfold gradually as the player goes along, making you sort of discover it as you do the more meat-and-potatoes dungeon gameplay. this is what i’m seeing from totk so far, so if you’re a botw fan and haven’t played some of the older stuff it may be a bit jarring, but since i’m not far enough into the game yet i’m not gonna pass judgement.
#my main crit rn is that there seem to be a lot of easily-missable shit. like quests that introduce gameplay and stuff that you can only get#by talking to npcs that the game doesn’t really prompt you to talk to. but again that’s kind of a classic zelda thing#you’re REQUIRED to explore and interact with the world in order to get the entire experience. which isn’t a bad thing necessarily#but i think that knowing how many people have ONLY played. otw the devs could maybe have made it a little more user friendly LMAO#asks#totk spoilers#totk liveblog
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genuinely i don’t think i’ve ever thought and theorised and analysed any other piece of media as much as i have qsmp it’s so fun
#.txt#normally i’m just a turn brain off and draw kinda guy#which tbf creating fanworks like art and fic does require thinking still#but i feel like the ‘get characterisation close enough’ and ‘think deeply about the character’#parts of my brain are different#and usually i just use the first part#same kinda applies to the plot/story side of things#i also have a lot of thoughts that i don’t really say on here#just because i’m not articulate enough to get them across most of the time#though tbf that doesn’t stop me other times#depends how strongly i feel about whatever it is
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finnick knows he’s beautiful, it’s all he hears sometimes. what he doesn’t hear about is how strong he is, mentally. he’s an incredible fighter, he’s useful but that’s it. he’s a useful pretty guy. he doesn’t get told he’s smart. he feels constantly selfish. he doesn’t really think he’s worthy of love. there’s just so much he needs to hear that he’s never been told otherwise, or at least not enough
#thinking a lot about the telling a muse they’re beautiful meme and specifically what finnick needs to hear.#but he also just doesn’t frequently express any of this stuff#to hear it requires some vulnerability#which makes his decision in mj to share his story soooooo#i can’t think about it too long or I sob#held together with bowlines / headcanons
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My dad who like doesn’t know how video games work and hasn’t played a real video game since the original super mario is playing disco elysium
#bc my brother and I told him it was super accessible in that it doesn’t require any reaction time based stuff#which it doesn’t I think it’s really great to get him more into games stuff#but it’s jsut so crazy bc like. bro my father is playing disco elysium#warlock wartalks#he does play like. Catan online and iPhone games#but nothing on steam of a console or anything and he doesn’t rlly get like stuff that’s instinctive to a lot of gamers
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Itachi Uchiha’s relationship with Sasuke was not that of a normal, caring older brother but straight up parentification. It’s obvious Mikoto and Fugaku *constantly* left baby Sasuke in his care leading up to the nine tales attack, as evidenced by Itachi’s ability to get 3 (4?) month old Sasuke to stop crying and Itachi wearing a sling to carry Sasuke (you only do that if you would carry a baby for long periods of time). In this essay, I will
#itachi uchiha#Sasuke uchiha#uchiha clan#naruto#is this me projecting my own trauma onto one of my blorbos?#yes 100%#but Itachi WAS parentified! I will DIE on this fucking hill#like hello why do you think Sasuke was so heartbroken#his primary caregiver seemingly betrayed him and said he never cared#imagine your MOM or DAD saying that to you#also how many montages of Sasukebeing sad over good memories of itachi did we get#versus how many with his *actual* mom and dad#like can you name me ONE good memory Sasuke has with Fugaku#and no the fireball jutsu moment doesn’t count#now name some memories with Mikoto#yep#like even when they are older at 11 and 7 Itachi is STILL being charged with his care#he is cooking him up a meal and it comes out great meaning he does this a lot#hell even in the tsukuyomi OVA special Itachi cooks for him! he’s still being a goddamn mom in an ILLUSION for Pete’s sake#none of that microwave chicken nugget type crap either but actual meals that require a good deal of prep time#so I think you can understand that I am not pulling this parentified theory out of my ass#when Itachi fades away he isn’t saying goodbye to his little brother#he’s saying goodbye to his baby 😭💔💔💔💔💔💔
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girl help I’m experiencing
#weird addendum but pls don’t reblog my vent posts??? why would you even want to????#everything has been So Much lately and I wasn’t gonna vent but then I remembered this is my blog and I can do what I want#one of my best friends left the country last week and he’ll be gone for like two years and I’m so sad without him around#I mean he’s been messaging me every day since he left but it’s still hard not having him here yknow?#and I’m moving into his place but it requires a lot of work before I can so I’m always exhausted#and my joints have all but given out on me completely so I’m always covered in KT tape and braces#which doesn’t gel very well with moving furniture and heavy boxes#and I have no money so I need to be job searching but I can’t do that until I move. BUT I NEED MONEY TO MOVE#on top of that my grandpa died and there’s so much family drama involving that it’s unreal#and weirdly the thing I’ve recently felt bad about is I’ve been neglecting my self imposed Fandom Duties#maybe not fandom specifically but like. creative duties#I want to write fic. I want to draw. I want to read and comment on other people’s stuff#I also really want to do more of my non fandom writing because I want to get something published this year. but i got no good idea aaack#or early next year#and I’ve just had like. no time at all to do any of it and the time I have had I’ve been too drained to do it#ughghghghghghggh#I think today I will drink and try to write something. as a treat.#after I go on a reblog spree to bury this because emotions are very embarrassing#anyway how are you?
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fragment of a partially written “what if Evan went through with the magic-exorcism and had his memory of Gowpenny erased?” fic -- specifically a scene in which Jammer/K/Sam track him down to some middle-of-nowhere rest stop in order to meet him again
#N posts stories#thought it would be fun to experiment with the idea that his passengers are like#Way beyond the scope of human-magic and so they retained their memories intact#and Evan is just so used to shrugging off everything they say to him that he just refuses to engage#but there’s also a lot to Wonder about re: would Evan retain memory of having performed Accidental magic throughout his childhood?#would be interesting to play around with things there of like. How Much would they have to Take from him#to reach whatever level of ignorance they deem acceptable? nauseating.#truly tho the Exact Inverse of this fic is also something i’ve been entertaining writing meaning like#canon timeline where Evan fully thinks through the implications of ‘these people Could at any point take away my magic and erase my memory#of Whatever they want to just Whenever they decide to want to’ like Philtrum doesn’t Force Evan through anything but she does get like#Incredibly manipulative and coercive and Evan did not Actually give Informed Consent when he elected into the procedure in the first place#(it was never explained that the Whole pilot program would be kicked out — informed consent requires All relevant info given up front)#and either way ‘will they do it to me’ does not matter nearly as much as ‘are they Capable of doing this to me?’#combined with the fact that ep one Does establish to Evan that casting magic on children as punishment is considered Completely acceptable#there’s SO much to unpack about the kind of paranoia that would undoubtedly instill in Anyone but especially in someone like Evan
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