#everything has been So Much lately and I wasn’t gonna vent but then I remembered this is my blog and I can do what I want

[jutsuuu]

girl help I’m experiencing

[thisisanude]

the summer cuz i did that 2 summers while we’ve been dating. first of all, that has an end date and is only 2 months. this is an entire year of having to navigate long distance (7 hour drive) and it has no end date so it could be even longer and if i move out of the state the journey could be even longer it’s a super big deal. basically we argued for a bit and he was being very unreasonable at first but then calmed down and was like i just got upset about that because im upset about something else. FUCK I can’t believe i forgot what the other thing was! i guess this one truly bothered me more then. but for some reason i forgot about that kinda quick and was like whatever that’s the love of my life again. and i was so passionately in love with him so so hard and everything seemed normal and he met my family. and i was thinking this is the guy im gonna be with forever.

and then in november we had another fight on the way to see his dad in another city because i said something about missing his friend that we all used to hang out with and that used to hang around more and he was like why do you care you never see my friends anyway and i was like i haven’t seen them in a while true but ive been busy and it’s hard to keep everyone happy like you have a lot less on your plate than me and for some reason he still was so upset by that and he was like you don’t put in any effort in our relationship. you don’t plan dates you don’t hang out with my friends bc you have other plans so i stopped bothering to invite you. like omg. so fucking rude. and i was upset with him but we kinda just had to get over it cuz we were about to see his dad but we both agreed to make more of an effort.

and then later that month (i thinkkkk it was later that month?) we had like top 3 worst fights and i don’t even remember what it was about. i think once again him not feeling like a priority to me but honestly at that point i was like ugh he’s starting some bullshit again so i didn’t react as much. i was replying but not in as upset of a way as i normally would and i wasn’t freaking out and texting him. and then he literally dropped all my stuff off at my place and was like since you don’t have any time to come over again here’s all your stuff like omg drama queen wtf. and then sat outside one of my best friends apartments ????? seeing if i was going to hang out with her instead of him?????? and i did! and then he came over late at night and was like i felt like you didn’t care and i was like i felt like you were being ridiculous and plus i was taking a while texting him back bc my roommate was venting to me about the recent falling out of her and her best friend and how she was really sad. so it would’ve been fucked to be on my phone during that. but whatever i guess we fixed it. i for some reason forgot that real quick and was real wanting to be with him forever again. he met my mom it was a big deal everyone loved him everyone loves him so much. i love him too.

and then january came around. we were. gonna get food and we were hungry. i said can i smoke before we go. i hadn’t eaten in along time so i was starving but i have adhd and i get distracted easily. i was like still sitting and then he started cleaning his room without saying ANYTHING Aabout going so i kept watching him and talking to him about other stuff. then he was acting like why aren’t we going yet and i was standing up i was ready! and i was like are you ready yet and hw as like i’m waiting for you and i was like what but ive been ready im just talking to you and he was like you haven’t smoked and i said well i can take a quick hit right before we leave. and he was like u have to smoke outside and so i did and he was like idk already seeming weird like annoyed. and then when we started driving there he was like we took so long to leave and i was like yeah why are you acting like that’s my fault and then it started and he was so upset that i insinuated that it wasn’t and he was like you’re late to everything you have to be treated like a child etc etc i don’t think he said exactly that but something similar that gave that vibe and i was like what the fuck why didn’t you just say can we go and he was like oh so it’s my responsibility to rush you now and you don’t like being rushed and i was like why the fuck is he fighting over something stupid and i said that but in a nicer way and he was like why are you fighting about this like ????? u clearly were annoyed and he was like yeah but i would’ve gotten over it and not said anything it wasn’t gonna be that deep and i was like WHAT like u cannot say that i can notice u being annoyed !!!!! i don’t want to feel like there’s a weird energy that wouldn’t have made it any better plus it’s always good to communicate bc if you repress things you’re gonna end up resenting the other person. and idk idk idk IDK How it ended but it was honestly a really bad fight because i kept thinking i can’t do this anymore like that’s so fucking stupid why are you so mean to me rn. and i was being like i want to leave but then never ended up leaving and he eventually agreed he was being too dramatic. like ! he usually agrees he was dramatic and upset but is that gonna be enough. i need you to get on your fucking knees and kiss my feet and apologize and beg me to forgive you and beg me not to leave you. maybe then i would feel closure. anyway things since then have been real good and fine. so im afraid something else is brewing real soon. and i’m afraid it may be the last time. and i’m afraid i may have realized some other things about myself. the timing lately is crazy and also the reason why ive been thinking about this SO MUCH LATELY is bc my roommate JUST broke up with her long term bf that she was super in love with and he was friends with all of us and everyone loved him and i found out he did some things that were really upsetting so my opinion of him changed a lot. and it shows anyone can disappoint you and it’s not worth trying to stay for their best self if their worst self is so mean. also my best friend is having issues with her long term bf also who has been our plug and my friend as well for years soookoo my opinion of him has also rapidly changed recently. and my other best friends boyfriend who i really liked at first as well has been disappointing me recently too so i feel like my opinion of all men has declined a lot recently. i genuinely feel like i cannot take men seriously right now. i’m like SO PISSED at all of them i also feel like wow they really broke up. and she’s gonna be okay! so i shouldn’t put up with shit ever again because i would be okay too. but sometimes im like fuck would i even be able to find a guy that i am so comfortable with and treats me so well other times. like i cant fart in front of most people ! that’s kinda a big deal i dont wanna start from square 1 again. i’ve also felt gayer recently. that may be related. may also be related to the blue ball situation. may also be related to the thing someone said. that should be another post tho

i feel crazy i feel absolutely insane the timing is just so weird too like i don’t understand what’s happening ive never felt this weird and unsure of what to do in my relationship WELL i have in other ways but never this one this one is the weirdest TBH. like on one hand i love him and every time i see him i feel genuine love and happiness and like i want to build a future with him and i love hanging out with him and he makes me feel better. but on the other hand. we have had issues before he would get petty over things i really didn’t appreciate and part of me is like it’s my fault too cuz i can be bitchy like sometimes i talk before i think. but idk i feel like that’s the worst of me like he would get so upset at moments when he really shouldn’t have been or when a partner should be supportive. and the petty things. like the first time like 2 years ago when i said to him at a bar i look so good everyone here wants to fuck me and he was very upset and took that real not well but didn’t tell me about it till months later and that’s why he would get so petty. and this was the same instance when i found out that he was being petty to me bc also months ago i made a joke to his friend about his bong being dirty. and i don’t even remember how they fight went bc honestly it was awful i tried to push it away so bad sooooo bad and that fight was like a year and a half ago. i remember being truly hurt for the first time, like instead of trying to solve something he was being petty. it was so upsetting and i feel like that made me see him differently bc i will never feel like i got full closure. like i was saying sorry for doing those things too much and he wasn’t saying sorry for being petty enough. i do get angry tho and i don’t give in when im really mad. and then ! that was like the worst our relationship was bc i had already not been happy with him prob bc of his pettiness and distance from me in the before months so that fight was like damn i could see myself without you. but then things started to improve he was cleaning his act up and in a few more months i felt really happy in our relationship again. it’s like wow i can’t believe i ever felt upset or wanted to leave i want to be with you forever so bad this is my person this is my soulmate. and then next july which was almost a year later we had a big fight THE DAY I WASS MOVING OJT….. which if you know me my room and apartment is a very very very lot of work to move out from. and the last year he wasn’t in town so he didn’t help me but this year he was helping me. and last year i helped him move out after he left town and did a lot of work also but that don’t matter cuz it’s not like transactional but just saying im not only expecting help from him i help him as well. but i don’t even fucking remember what that was about either! crazy how bad my memory holds fights and bad memories like that altho i’m sure i was prob smoking a lot around this time which doesn’t help. i just remember being extremely angry with him and for the first time in a while thinking oh i don’t think i should be with him forever. and i honestly didn’t feel like i was fully recovered i feel like i was just like let’s fix this asap bc i needed to keep MOVING OUT and i didn’t want to be immensely stressed and upset. but i don’t even remember what the fuck he was upset about but i do remember him telling me i shouldn’t have told my BEST FRIEND about him potentially moving back home the next year and us maybe being long distance. and i was like wtf is wrong with you for being mad at going to my best friend like that’s an emotional upset thing for me and i also don’t wanna make you feel guilty for leaving by talking about it in a sad way. and he was like now she told her boyfriend (who is his dealer) and now everyone knows my business when i don’t want anyone to. like bitch what the fuck why do you care so much shut the fuck up holy shit and he was like why is it a big deal it’s not a big deal and i was like how can you say that. he’s like that’s like the same thing as you going to ur home country for

[bl6ckr0s3]

Finding My Happy Place

I have been in such a deep mental depression that I couldn’t get myself to vent on here. I haven’t picked up the phone to called to speak to a counselor the way I said I would, but something is holding me back from going that route for some reason even though it may be more effective in dealing with my stress & anxiety. One of the bids that I put in at work actually gave me a break in getting out of tour 1. I got a tour 3 bid at the 010/020 area. Apparently, that bid assignment involves going to clear the mailboxes and the mail from the lobby and processing them through the big purple machine in the corner of the building across from one of the dock doors. It’s a 3pm-11:30pm shift. This will definitely be a big break for me going back to my regular shift. I hope that this job will be a lot better, and it will surely be a relief having to be stuck on Robot 3.

I hated my job so much to the point where I called out every week and I gotten an II last week. An interview investigation is basically sort of a write up. My main reason for missing work is because my body is not liking the shift and it has messed up my sleeping schedule. It would be nice not to have to drag my feet going into the workplace late at 11pm anymore. They wonder why so many people called off work at night? They need to use their common sense. 

During the safety meeting last night, my supervisor talked about a fight happened during one of the orientations. How did that happened? I have no idea. Maybe the company needs to use their brain and stopped lowering their standards in the way they hire people. I remember having to take a test and a drug test in order to be hired. Now they are not doing either. This is a federal job and they are supposed to. 

Josh has finally gotten hired with Graceland, his dream job that he can actually retire with if his dreams never came true. His mom even told him it wasn’t a good idea to be doing that, so now I gotta go through the trouble of waiting to be transferred to Memphis, one of the worst places to be around because it’s considered the #2 highest crime rate area. I heard stories of shootings and things that have happened there. Why couldn’t Elvis have his Graceland in Nashville instead of Memphis? Memphis is basically like South Central throughout the whole town, maybe except for part of downtown. Even downtown itself looks all runned down. I’m worried about something happening there more than I was worried when I was in Los Angeles considering I grew up and lived around the area most of my life. 

I ended up missing my court hearing when they said it would cost $72 to be at the hearing telephonically, what a bunch of bullshit. I would’ve expected them to charge somewhere between $20-$50 but not close to $100. I was sitting here wondering if I will actually get to see my son because his father is a controlling asshole douchebag. When I messaged Wilma and she completely ignored me, now I see how she’s playing that game. After all that being nice to her face, allowing her to meet my family, I should’ve known maybe she was just being fake. So I decided that from now on, I’m not really gonna put any trust in her even if she does take good care of my son. Sometimes I wonder if she enjoys taking my son away from me beside his father? If something happens between those 2, I’m gonna ignore her and not give a fuck. If she only wants to talk to me everytime Ricky hurts me, she’s got bigger issues. I sort of hope he fucking hurts her and I hope they are still arguing and are miserable everyday. I will just sit here and say, I wouldn’t know what else to tell you. I told her everything she needed to know about how he is and his past and she made a choice to still stay with him for my son. It’s on her. I will keep her message open and unblocked, but I won’t really socialize with her anymore unless I truly have to. I have to remember that she’s sided with my enemy. This Saturday is suppose to be the first video chat I have with my son since I left California. His father actually messaged me to make plans for the video chat. He will plan on leaving his laptop near his crib so I can at least watch him. I’m not sure whether Lim will be able to understand that I am going to try to communicate with him over video chat. I have to start messing with the Zoom and see how I am able to open up a chat thing through it. If I have problems with it, I can always try Skype or something. There’s plenty of free video apps to use. 

[darlincollins]

"it's your god-forsaken right to be loved" part 2

And I'm back! More alpha Darlin' shenanigans, this time from their POV- this part is more focused on establishing their dynamic with the pack, so not much David content in this one, but he'll be back next time in all his grumpy glory! Also I'm so sorry about the blood puns, it's very late and I'm too tired to tell how not-funny they are so... they're in there. Thank you again to @colloquialcolival for this prompt which has taken over my entire mind, I love it!!

content warnings: brief mention of quinn, mentions of blood!

------

Darlin' needed to run properly. Had been needing to since they’d seen David earlier that evening, honestly, but had been pushing down the wolf curling in their chest and pleading for space, for release, for liberty. Over the past few hours, though, that quiet growling had become a howl that was drowning out logic and reason. Their skin was itching, longing to be shed and replaced with a body more free. They were totally buzzing, watching the pack socialize around them without hearing a word and just counting down the seconds until people started to disperse so they could go.

Not very alpha-like, a nasty voice in their head sang.

Go fuck yourself, they thought right back, schooling their mind into a direction more suited to a pack alpha than the desperate, clawing urge to leave humanity behind.

As far as pack meetings where they'd had to tell everyone that an evil sadist hellbent on a very bloody kind of hedonism was roaming the streets of their city and that they were going to take it upon themselves to bring him down (of which there had only been this one, to be fair, though that was more than enough), they thought it could have gone worse. David, reluctantly true to his word, had shown up looking much better thanks to Sam's work, although he'd spent the entire meeting staring angrily at his shoes and basically sprinted from the room without a word as soon as it was over. They could understand the urge, honestly. There had been some tension and a lot of mixed feelings, too, which Darlin' had shut down quickly before they could explode. No need to push David further off the edge of the map, after all. Although maybe it had been a mistake, not letting people vent their feelings? Pent up frustration could easily lead to resentment, and that would be worse for all of them in the long run. Maybe-

“Alpha?” a voice interrupted their train of thought. Startling, they looked around with what they hoped wasn’t too wild an expression. In front of them was one of the younger pack members. Darlin’ remembered them from their graduation a few months back; they were a smart kid, and planning to go to university for computer science. It was one of their first meetings as a part of the pack proper. Great timing, huh?

“Oh. Uh, what’s up?”

The kid fidgeted nervously. “Um… is- just, are we- are we safe? Or, I mean, are we going to be okay?” Their face flushed as Darlin’ stared at them. “Not that I’m scared! I just-”

Stop. Look. Listen. Then put the pieces together and you’ll find the meaning underneath the words, said a whisper in the back of their mind that sounded like their beta. Easy enough. But the second part, the actual… fixing shit part, was still going to suck majorly.

They forced a wooden smile, or tried to, and prayed it didn't look like a grimace instead. “Well- it’s- everything’s gonna be just fine. There- you know, there’s-” Darlin’ took a deep breath. God. Why was this so hard. “Look… even if you were scared, that’s- it would be okay. You know, you’re allowed to be. And- but you don’t have to be, because we’re all… here… for each other, and we’ll keep each other safe.” It was perhaps the worst and least convincing pep talk they’d ever heard in their life.

The kid did not seem reassured. Smart, considering that sorry excuse for a heart to heart. Fuck. Where the hell is Asher, they thought, glancing around the room like he might have materialized next to them in the last three seconds before catching themself. Bad, they chided themself. Asher had a life, and they were supposed to be alpha. They couldn't keep running to him any time a pack member displayed a feeling in front of them. It wasn't fair to him, and it wasn't fair to the pack either, to claim the role of leader while also hiding and making their beta the sole pillar of emotional support for over 40 people. They knew all this. They'd been repeating it to themself for months, before and during every complicated conversation with a pack member that had had them crawling out of their skin and physically restraining themself from calling him to save them. But still. Where the hell was Asher?

“Anyway,” they said. Steeled themself to bring it all home with a sweeping, redeeming finish. “It- it’s gonna be okay, so… you don’t have to worry about this.” Still looking a little worried, the kid smiled weakly and rejoined their parents on the other side of the room while Darlin’ contemplated tossing themself into the ocean.

"Smooth talkin'," Milo whispered from nearby, shooting them an amused smirk. They flipped him off, though there was no fire in the gesture and they both knew it.

Well, at least stumbling through that interaction had distracted them from the urge to flee, at least temporarily, and seemed to have gotten them through the rest of the pack’s unofficial social time- people were starting to pull on coats and collect their bags, which meant that soon they could get out of this suffocating room, this suffocating body.

Ash waved at them as he appeared from wherever he’d been hiding away during Darlin’s brief panic, looking them over with an uncharacteristically serious expression. “You alright, buddy? That was a rough one.”

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s fine.”

“I can lock up here if you want to head out,” he offered cheerfully.

It was tempting. Very tempting, but… if they took him up on it, would it be like they were running away from their responsibilities? Making him take on their burdens again just because they were too uncomfortable to do it themself?

He winked at them.”Get outta here, boss. The meeting’s pretty much done anyway. We’ll talk tomorrow, right?”

Darlin’ nodded, overcome with gratitude for their beta. They made a note to give him a vacation sometime soon, waved at the chorus of goodbyes that echoed around the room as they headed out, and shifted the second they hit pavement, running in the direction of home.

It was such a relief, to be wolf instead of human, to have the run and the blurring world at the forefront of their mind instead of… well, everything else. God, what a disaster. The way they saw it, there were two problems here. One, obviously, Quinn. Pretty simple objective: locate. Kill. The only issue was that Quinn appeared to be one of those slippery fuckers who would make shit really hard for you until you finished the job. The second issue was that David appeared to genuinely believe the pack didn’t care if he lived or died, and that was infinitely more difficult. How the hell do you fix almost 20 years of abandonment issues and tense relationships?

Damn it. They were getting a headache- this was definitely too complicated a mess for them to outrun, even as a wolf. They'd talk to Asher about it tomorrow. They had meant it when they told David they weren't going to hide behind Ash's vastly superior people skills instead of doing their job anymore, but he was still their beta, and his ability to deftly navigate tangled complexes of emotions was going to make him indispensable in fixing this whole thing.

But that would be a problem for another day. It was late- nothing they could do in the next few hours was going to magically solve anything. Darlin' forced their mind blank and concentrated on the sensation of paws hitting ground, breeze blowing through fur, city lights dimming and trees growing taller the further from Dahlia's downtown they ran.

It was almost 1 by the time Darlin' made it home. As they padded up the drive, the katydids chirping in the trees fell silent, recognizing a predator afoot. Realizing they'd need to be human so they could get the house key out of their pocket, Darlin' prepared themself to shift back and feel all that noise crowding them out of their own mind again, then realized the door was already cracked open an inch. Sam really was the most wonderful man alive. They pushed it open with their head, shoving it closed behind them with a hind leg. Following the noise from the living room, they found the newborns on the couch with their eyes fixed on the television Sam had bought after they moved in- probably still watching that high school werewolf show they'd started the other night. (Darlin' had watched one episode before denouncing it as totally unrealistic, after which they'd been declared a buzzkill by both kids.)

Fred waved as they followed the faint trail of Sam's aura to their bedroom, and his own progeny lifted the bag of blood they'd stuck a straw into like a toast, barely glancing away from the screen. Darlin' nodded in their direction as well as they could while still being a supernaturally large canine, then nosed their way to where Sam was waiting.

Their mate was sitting on the bed reading, back leaned against the headboard. He looked up when they padded into the room, a small smile flickering over his lips, and patted his leg in invitation. Darlin’ eagerly jumped onto the bed, flopping down on the soft sheets and letting their head flop against Sam’s thigh. A shiver of relief coursed through their entire body just being this close to him.

“Meeting went that well, huh?” he murmured sympathetically, scratching behind Darlin’s ear with one hand. Fuck, that felt amazing. They grumbled, arching their head further into his touch. They were melting… or floating; either way, there were no more problems, no more painful conversations that made them feel like they were being strangled by their own inadequacy, no more doubts. Just Sam, and this bed, and the perfect, gentle pressure of his fingers carding through their fur.

Darlin’ waited until the buzzing of anxiety zipping through their head quieted to a low, unintelligible mumble before shifting back to human form, stretched out with their head in Sam’s lap. He put his book to the side at the sound of the magic taking hold, smiling down at them. “Feelin’ better?”

They nodded tiredly. “Thanks. For leaving the door open.”

“Figured you’d want some time to clear your head after the meeting,” he said, continuing to lightly stroke their hair.

“Hmm,” they sighed. “How were things here?”

“Business as usual. Spent half the damned night chasin’ those kids around the woods, and the other half listening to them come up with a blood-themed restaurant menu.”

“Huh. Anything good?”

“Not sure; does ‘eggplant plasma-san’ sound good to you? Or ‘chicken type O neg-gets?’”

“That’s not even a-”

“Now, don’t you start too.”

Darlin’ snickered and turned their head, catching Sam’s hand in their own to press a kiss to his palm in repentance before the two of them fell into a comfortable silence.

“Hey… thank you for earlier. For helping. I-” Wow, they really were bad at this. But with Sam it bothered them less- he wasn’t expecting something from them, he was just waiting. He would understand their word jumble for what it was meant to be, and wouldn’t be bothered by the clumsy execution. They shook their head. “Just- thank you.”

“‘Course, darlin’. The pack is family to me too. If I can help them, then I want to do that.”

They smiled up at him. “I love you.”

Sam leaned down to give them a soft kiss. “Love you too, darlin’.” He pulled back a little, considering their face for a moment before frowning in concern. “Hey. Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I just-” Darlin’ sighed. “I let David down before. And not just with… the Quinn stuff. But, before that. I wasn’t there. Not when he first joined the pack, and not any time after that. I shouldn’t be surprised he left.”

Sam gave them one of those looks that meant he disagreed with them. “You were only 14.”

“I had time after that to make things right, though. And I didn’t.”

He sighed, rubbing the shell of their ear gently. He clearly still didn’t think they were right, but knew them well enough to realize when he needed to change tactics. “There’s still time to do that. David’s back now. He’s here. And I never bet against you, darlin’. If you’re aiming to fix things with him and the pack, then you’re gonna make it happen.”

“You think?”

“I know. But,” Sam said, shooting them a different look- the ’lecture incoming’ face. “You’re not gonna do it tonight. You’re tired, and you need to get some rest. Plenty of time for world-savin’ and pack-leadin’ tomorrow.” He patted their shoulder until they sat up, pouting that their resting place was being disturbed until Sam scooched down to lie next to them and pulled them down onto his chest, reaching over to turn the bedside lamp off. “Let’s sleep.”

Darlin’ sighed, snuggling into their mate, trying to lull themself into it by focusing only on the sound of his heartbeat, the texture of the blankets, the… rogue vampire out there haunting their pack member… the contract to work the E&E Games they had to review… the meeting with Asher tomorrow… the-

“Hey,” he whispered. “I can hear that brain of yours turning a mile a minute. The day’s done, darlin’. You can set those worries down now. Even if it’s just for a few hours. I got you… I got you.”

And they drifted off safe in that assurance.

[chocoenvy]

heyo, it’s me pretty anon. (i like it better than bully anon too :))

i think i fucked up

so, i’ll keep this simple since i need to go to bed cause it’s like 4:30am and i get up at 8 lmao.

since the cruise my dad and step-mom decided to physically split as well. my dad is signing for a divorced in the next couple of days. my step-mom is in a completely different state rn with her youngest daughter and mother. my mom mom doesn’t know about the divorced and honestly i think no one’s told her since we don’t wanna hear it.

so um, i haven’t really gotten a chance to talk to anyone about this stuff since i live in a small town and everyone knows everyone yknow? so firstly, thank you for letting me vent. it’s nice to talk to someone the same age anonymously. you give good advice.

anyway, all of this has kinda been building up on me, which is super weird cause i thought i wouldn’t care. i’m a senior in high school rn so it’s not like i can’t go visit her once i graduate. and my dad and step mom are both encouraging me to keep up a relationship with her. she wasn’t really around much and when she was it was only ever good one on one since with my dad it would be borderline abusive. (or maybe actually abusive, i’m not really sure i know how to identify it. it just seems normal to me)

my dad also asked me if i had contacted my step mom like a couple days after she left. i’d been wanting to but i had no idea what to say to her. so i didn’t. he said to me, and i don’t think i’ll ever forget this, “oh. i thought you loved her.” in the most casual tone. my heart is broken. i got really upset with him and he literally could not comprehend why. i’m starting to second guess myself if i loved her or not. i know for a fact that i did, but does she know it?

so yknow the new ios 16 update? weird change of pace i know but i swear it’s important. well i just decided like an hour ago to get it and i fucking hate it. fun fact, if you have spotify on and your phone turns off then they change YOUR LOCKSCREEN to match the spotify song. wtf. well i started off hating it cause i had to scroll through over 2,000 photos just to find the exact same ones i was currently using (it’s venti and xiao btw) and i started hyperventilating.

well i was doing my daydreams when i realized the spotify thing. and i completely stopped. i had a full blown panic attack for at least 45 minutes. i was hyperventilating so hard i honestly thought i was going to passed out. i later down so i at least wouldn’t fall and everything.

i think i panicked because of all the penh up emotions that i have going on rn.

after i finally calmed down, i went over to plug in my chrome book for school. and then i remembered i had an eyebrow razor in my backpack…

i think you know what i meant when i said i fucked up.

it was only four cuts. not deep enough to draw blood except for one, all tiny on my thigh where no one can see them. i can’t believe i did it though. and the worst part, the absolute worst part is, the relief i felt? it’s like i actually have control.

i know you said the ice cube method. i’ve actually told other freinds going through a hard time about it too. but at the moment, i just wasn’t thinking straight.

im scared im gonna do it again. any ideas on what i should do? lol

with love, pretty anon

HELLO PRETTY <33 I'm so sososososo sorry for answering this so late but!

tw: self harm, relapses, sensitive topics

It's completely valid and I cannot fault you for relapsing it is a very normal part of healing. So long as you get back up, everything will be okay I promise.

But! I remembered an app that I had come across some years ago. I forgot the name and when I tried to look it up i found calm harm.

The app I thought of describes self harm as a wave. The want to harm yourself flows in and then out. It comes and goes. The trick is to distract yourself before the feeling takes over your actions. Calm Harm definitely helps with it from what I've seen. I've never tried these apps though. There are also counters that count how long you've gone without cutting if that kind of thing helps.

Would definitely recommend! As well as watching videos or creating a playlist full of videos/songs that make you happy! Find something that makes you happy and hold onto it for when you need it! I can completely understand not being in the right state of mind and forgetting it which is why you should have it on your phone so you can access it before you can access something else. It also helps if you're ever in public - or even in private - and need to calm down.

Gather resources to prepare for these down times. It'll help!

I understand that self harm can feel good, god trust me I know, but it's not worth it. There are other things that can make you feel better than self harm can. And I can't speak for you but after I self harm I just feel so much shame?? And fear?? Mostly because I don't want someone to find them but I just feel ashamed.

I can't explain it and I really don't have much room to talk because I'm still stuck in self harm. But if it means anything, I would be very proud to see you heal from this <3

I'm glad you can talk about this anonymously but if you ever need to talk to me one on one my dms are always open <3

Take care! And I'm sorry for answering so late, I hope you're okay <33

[fwkei]

Time.

Kazutora x fem!reader (angst/fluff)

CW/TW: Mentions of suicide, (slight) mention of starvation.

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR VALHALLA ARC

Note! Explanation of story at end just incase you’re confused also i apologize for mistakes, i did not read this over. 🙆🏻‍♀️

WC: 3.4k

--------------------------------------

You sat at the edge of your seat. Watching the clock above your teacher's head ever so closely. 

“When you want to find the common di-” 

Suddenly the bell rang, interrupting your teacher from his final words. 

“Oh my bad, guess I lost track of time, anyways please remember to study for your quiz on Monday! I know it's a weekend, but save some time for academics!” said your teacher as your classmates packed up their stuff to leave. 

Today was Friday, meaning it was the day you get to visit Kazutora at juvie for the first time after Keisuke's death, and your attempt. It was 3:30, and visiting hours started at 4 to 5 every Friday for inmates. Running to the metro takes about 5-7 minutes, and walking from the station to the actual juvie takes about 20 minutes, while the ride lasts up to 10, meaning you should arrive there at around 4:10. And there's no time to waste. 

You ran out of class, ignoring your fellow classmates goodbyes. You held your book bag tight as you ran fast to the Tokyo station. Seeing you arrived just on time you jumped in just before the 3:30 o'clock train leaves to a different side of the district where Kazutora is being held. You held onto the rail beside you to keep yourself steady as the train started to move . 

You felt scared but happy to see Kazutora. He most probably didn't know you would be coming, he probably thought you would at most write letters to him, like before, but again...Kazutora believes that you hate him now. You didn't know what you were going to say to him. Draken told you that he already visited him while you were in psychiatric hold for a bit, and he told you that Kazutora was planning on killing himself. Draken did not specify if he told Kazutora about your own attempt but you didn't worry too much because you were healing, and you now had hope.  

Your heart was racing, as the train came to a stop. As the doors opened you ran, and fast. Dodging people to not hurt them and almost stepping on things you shouldn’t be stepping on. You checked the time to see it was 4:01, and you still had about 10 minutes worth of walking/running to cover. 

You were breathing heavily when the Juvenile building came into view. You checked the time again to see it was 4:11. You jogged to the doors of the building despite the fact that your thighs were burning from the amount of cardio you had just done. 

It's all worth it. 

You thought to yourself opening the doors. 

Kazutora sat on the bed of his bland and colorless cell. He signed as he looked up at the ceiling light before turning his position to look at the side of the wall. He held his pillow tight. He knew it was visiting day, and his heart was anxious despite the fact that others had already been called to see their visitors, and there was still no call for him. He didn't even expect any visitors.

Kazutora didn't know if he wanted to see you or not. He’s spent so much time alone in his cell thinking. He wondered if you had figured out the other reason for him stabbing his best friend, you could read people, but he knew you had a hard time reading him. He felt his heart ache. He was scared of the karma that would hit him because of it. Maybe not even Karma, but just some sort of punishment, for causing pain to the soul that cared for him so much, and for not being there for that soul when she needed it the most. Which... ultimately lead to your attempt, which Draken told him about during his visit. He shut his eyes as he remembered Draken's words. 

“I don’t wanna hear you say there is no point anymore. Because there is, and it’s kinda frustrating and irritating how you can’t see it even though it’s right there. She’s in psychiatric hold right now because she was close to ending her own life. After Baji died, and you were taken away, Y/n couldn't take it anymore, and no one could see it because she just...she just kept it in, like you do. She was going to die on Baji’s birthday if I wasn’t there to make her throw up the pills she took. Her and I may not be blood related siblings, but I know she’s been through a lot and has always gotten over it just fine, you know that...but this time...I got really fucking scared.”

Kazutora felt his heart drop to fucking hell at Draken’s words. He felt his breathing stop as his mouth parted.

“I know you love her, I'm not sure in what way but I could care less about that. I know, Kazutora. All those times you came crying to the brothel, crying into her arms, begging for some type of help and she helped you, lended you her body for you to cry on, I’d hear all of it. I know you’re hurting, but if you go, I don't think she will be able to live with herself. She’ll blame herself for not being there for you like she’s always been. Do you understand?”

He felt his body throb from literal physical pain. Kazutora was feeling and getting the punishment he deserved right then and there. 

“You owe it to her, whether you like it or not, to stay alive because she's doing the same for you. And once you’re out of here, you should finally grow up. Let her cry into your arms for once. She’s your best friend, right? Because she deserves for those efforts to be reciprocated. And you deserve to see what she’s gone through because of everything that happened. Take care, Kazutora.” 

Kazutora was lost in his own mind, to the point where he couldn't even register that one of the guards was calling his name from the cell door.

“Hm? I’m sorry I wasn't...uh, paying attention. What did you say?” he asked sitting up nervously 

“You got a visitor, kid. C’mon get up.” said the man unlocking his cell 

“A- visitor?” he said quietly getting up from his bed with shocked eyes 

It was already 4:15. Kazutora grew anxious at who his visitor could be. He was sure it wasn't you, your school is too far for you to make it here in time. There would only be a couple minutes to spare if you did try. Could it be Draken wanting to give him a word of advice? Or maybe Chifuyu.. Maybe Mikey? God, who could it be. It made him feel even more congested and trapped than before.  

As Kazutora walked, he looked down at his feet avoiding people's gazes. He saw the backs of his fellow juvenile delinquents from the side of his eye. His heartbeat became stronger, and he felt it thumbing in his ears. God, he didn't know what to expect. He was just so...frustrated. 

“Here, you have until 5.” said the guard, taking off his hand cuffs. His back was facing you. You grew anxious bringing your hands to rest on your things and skirt, waiting for him to turn around and look at you. You watched as he rubbed his wrists and sat down at the stool still not looking at you. You rubbed your hands together under the table separating you both, as the guard walked away to patrol. Your eyes followed the guard, not even noticing that Kazutora had turned to look at your face. 

Kazutora felt his face get hot at the sight of you. You had a school shirt on, with a dark blue tie and a sweater vest, Your hair tied into a low and messy bun with some of you natural and dyed hairs falling out framing your face. He felt his whole body go warm as you turned your head and gave him a nervous smile as a small blush formed. He didn't know why he was scared to see you, because every time Kazutora had the chance to see you, he instantly felt better, no matter what.

You two, and the other inmates and visitors, were all separated by a piece of plastic with a vent to capture sound better. On the side there was a subsection with an opening to the other side where you could pass things through. Such as notes, toys, hygiene stuff, and extra. You brought your hands to the table holding them.

“Hey...sorry I’m late.” you said as you saw Kazutora snap out of his gaze 

“Oh no I-, please don’t be..” he said waving his hands frantically, clearly nervous

“I had to run about 2 miles to get here..” you laughed trying to not tense up

Kazutora felt… stupid, why would you do that? Just to see him? It just made him even more confused...confused about how he felt towards you. 

“Just to see me? But..why?” he asked without thinking and just speaking, giving a regretful and embarrassed face after asking his question.

“Hm? Oh well it's simple really…” you said bringing your hands to rest in between your thighs on your seat 

“I know that I've told you that I don't like saying these words to people because it sounds like some sort of goodbye but it’s time I grow up from my past, and stop keeping things in..so…it’s because I love you... I thought that was fairly obvious but I don't wanna mess up like I did last time. I want you to know that I do love you and care for you.” you said giving him a closed eyed smile, this made Kazutora realize that you deeply regretted not telling Keisuke that you loved him more often when you two still had time. He felt his heart ache. He felt so guilty and gross.

“So, I’m gonna try and start saying that more often..” you said laughing to break the silence 

Kazutora was still speechless at what you had just said. He couldn’t seem to process it, and he wanted to say it back but for some reason he just couldn’t. He was afraid that something else might slip out. He truly didn't think he was worthy of your love and care. It became quiet. Again.

“I made you a bento box with your favorite things, I made sure to put some extra meat. Cause you always used to ask for that when I would make bentos for study days with you and Keisuke. And don’t worry! It’s allowed and you can have the kitchen hold it for you till you’re ready to eat it for today's dinner, the guards said so. And the container is microwave safe! So you can warm up the entree section. There’s rice and BBQ meat, little octopus shaped sausages and sauce with it! Oh and a salad with sesame dressing on the side, and desert which is just mochi. Every Friday I'll come by, and give you the new bento and you'll just give me back the old one, so that I can wash it and so we don't have to waste stuff.” you said smiling 

Your hand dung into your bag, and you pulled out a wooden bento box sliding it halfway through the subsection, but Kazutora hung his head low. You smiled, trying your best to make things right, as silence grew loud again. 

“I can also bring some mangas for you, I know you like shounen and also horror.. So I can buy some and give them to you so that you aren't bored! This week's shonen jump is good… It’s about a boy who is trying to save his mom, and ends up traveling across lands, with close friends, to get this special potion that will heal her, but I’ll make sure to look for some good horror manga too...I know you like stuff about folk tales, that sound okay?”  

Silence.

After a few minutes you spoke again.

“I decided to let my hair grow out cause I kinda miss having longer hair…There's this really pretty girl in my class who has long blonde hair.. Like Emma’s but longer and more wavy.. What about you? Anything you wanna do to your hair when you get out? I’ll take you to get it done-” 

Silence. 

The time now at 4:40. Kazutora bit his lip out of frustration, refusing to look up at you. 

“Oh! What about I bring over a sudoku book, so you can work on your academics as well! I can teach you how to play, it’s fun once you get the hang of it. Or I can bring just a simple literature book, it’s really up to you, I think both are great.” 

Silence. 

“Maybe markers so you can draw on yourself when you’re bored? I remember you doing that while I would tutor you and Keisuke. I can get big and small ones, and ones with different colors too. Also a sketch book, since you’re really good at drawing.” 

You were met with silence again. You felt your heart ache. Your eyes looked up at the clock and saw it was 4:47. You both were running out of time. About half an hour went by of your speaking, you giving a couple minutes in between waiting for him to speak back, but nothing. You clenched your hands into fists, biting your bottom lip as you looked down at your hands, resting on your thighs. 

You felt a strong feeling in your throat, the feeling you get when you’re about to sob. You were so frustrated, and you were trying to keep a level head. It was hard and you just wanted to fucking cry. 

“I- '' you said before closing your mouth realizing you were about to let out a whine. You didn't wanna cry, you wanted to say something but you were afraid that if you did, it would just come out as a sob.  

“I know it’s hard on you-” you said holding back your sobs while still looking down at your hands, letting your hairs cover your face 

“If you don’t want me here, I promise- that I’m fine with that...but~” you said in between pauses keeping your sobs in, but your last word came out shaky making Kazutora shoot his head to see you about to cry. 

He felt his heart ache once again. 

 “But please….jus-just say something. Anything. At least acknowledge that I'm here.” you cried quietly while tensing up your shoulders 

Kazutora frowned. This was his punishment. Seeing you cry, and not being able to hold and comfort you like he desperately wanted to. He opened his mouth, but closed it soon after when nothing came out. Not even a squeak, or whine, or breath. 

“I-”

You heard him say. You looked up with tears in your eyes seeing his face of desperation. 

Kazutora wanted to speak so badly, there were so many thoughts in his head he just could not push one out of his mouth, and he was afraid he might say something he would regret. He wanted to respond to everything you asked him, add commentary, tell you that you looked pretty today, say thank you for the food you made him. Tell you to not waste your tears on someone like him. Say sorry for making you feel uncomfortable because of his silence. God he just- 

“I love you-” he choked up and said in a louder tone causing your eyes to widen and mouth to part from shock at his sudden outburst.

He was avoiding your eyes as he spoke. 

“I- thank you, thank you so much for the food! Really! And I would really love whatever and everything you bring me.” he said, quieting down towards the end.  

“I...can’t put my thoughts into words… and I don’t wanna say something I’d regret. All this time I’ve just been lost in my own mind. I just want you to know that..that I really am in- that I really appreciate you. I want you..to be here, and I’m so...sorry for making you cry.” he said in between pauses of frustration and embarrassment 

You felt your body get warm, your heart beat was strong and you could feel it in your finger tips and temples. You opened your mouth to say something before Kazutora spoke again. 

“I..wanted to.. Wanted to help you...in just some way...after seeing you cry for the first time...with Baji in your arms….I shouldn't have stabbed Baji...I took the person you loved more than anything...away from you.. Because I was j- because I was so stupid, and still am. Even when you’ve done...so fucking much for me...I- and I took him from you...I just don’t get it… how can you have any empathy towards me anymore.. It doesn't make sense. I took so much from you… I killed Shinchiro, and I killed Baji. You loved them both...Mikey loved them both, why do..why do you even have any feeling towards me?” he said looking into your eyes with tears   

Your eyes softened at him. You took a small breath before saying-

“I thought I already told you why, Kazutora. I love you.” 

Kazutora felt a tear run down his cheek. He knew how much thought came behind those simple words. 

“I don’t need a reason to love you. Just like I don't need a reason to be hungry. It’s just there, and will continue to be there, you know what I mean? Same thing with everyone I love.” you said 

His breath hitched. The time now at 4:52.

“The only difference is I was in love with Keisuke. I still am in love with him. Even though he’s not here anymore. I know you might think I love him and Shinchiro and Mikey because they saved my life and helped me. But I was only so little. I had no concept of it. So was Keisuke. So was Mikey. Keisuke had no reason to come up to little me while I was starving on the ground practically dying. He just did it. He was too young to understand love. You think he understood his feelings for me the second he saw me? Or even with Mikey or Shinchiro. Of course not. They were just focussed on saving my life at the time. We discovered the love that was involved later. Even if it was too late to say anything about it. It took Kei and I about...hmmm..5-7 years maybe...to understand what we felt toward each other specifically. It is different with everyone. The love is just there, it’ll just be understood when the time is right. Like when your hunger just hits you. So when you ask me why I love you, or care for you, or forgive you. I just can’t give you a simple answer, even if I wanted to….because there's so much. Too much.” 

Kazutora understood your words. He really did. It made so much sense to him and he just wanted to scream.

Why? Well.. 

“The time will come where you believe that you're worthy of someone else's love and even your own, and even worth loving someone else yourself. So don’t worry. I’ll wait. I’ll wait as long as it takes. Even if it takes all the time in the world, okay?” you said smiling at him leaving him with shocked eyes

“Alright times up! 5 o'clock!” yelled a guard 

“Well, I'll see you next Friday, okay? I’ll bring over some manga, oh! And don't forget the bento!” you said getting up from your seat as Kazutora did the same keeping his hands on the table as the guard came to cuff them 

“Y/n I-I’m…”

No. He can’t say it. He can never ever say it. Why? And say what? 

Because he will never be him. He can never be like him for you, and he was perfect for you. He was the one there for you. He had the time to love you. He was the one. He could never even compete. Not after what he did. Not after the jealousy and envy grew and brewed inside him towards him. He is filthy. Not worthy of your love. Right? 

But someday, he desperately and genuinely wants to allow himself to be loved, and to love. Kazutora will forever be longing for that moment. And when he can love, and allow himself to be loved, he wants it to be with you. 

But till that time comes..

“I’ll...really be looking forward to it.” he said biting back his words and smiling softly 

“Likewise.” you said smiling as you both parted your ways, at least for the time being. 

------------------------------------------

Explanation/note: when i wrote this, i made y/n be a ‘foster’ siblings with Draken and childhood friends with Mikey and Keisuke. << Reason being is because i gave her a backstory where she was neglected and ran away, hence her having a more naturing personality. Y/n and Keisuke were a couple till he died but Kazutora always loved Y/n so it’s a love triangle in a way? I don’t know, but Kazutora grew envious of Keisuke in this ff which ended up being a motive to stabbing him during the fight, to which he later regrets and gets punishment for. Y/n in the story doesn’t know that so that’s why Kazutora can’t accept her love for real because he doesn't know if Y/n will really forgive him after that, and Kazutora won’t be able to learn/accept love till he admits what he did. Holding in that secret, and being in love with Y/n makes him feel frustrated and act out. And obviously time is the theme of this whole story. Kazutora at the end decided to avoid his feelings because the way things are going right now fro the time being for him are fine because he doesn't believe he deserves anything more.  But that can only last for so long, so he’s gambling with his relationship with you. He thinks of it as his punishment for now, not being able to tell you how he really feels, and not being able to comfort you.

ANYWAYS hope you liked it, sorry if it’s confusing. 

[namjoonswifey99]

What the Heart Wants

What The Heart Wants :

Pairings: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Warnings : Nothing bad so far just a few cuss words here and there and then you know Billy being Billy. 

Author Note : This is my first story so please be respectful and give honest feedback. I know its a few grammar mistakes in this story please be patient with me.

              It started off as an normal day for Billy he was upset that he had to be yelled at by his asshole of a father for Max being late coming back home so when he went to go pick up his best friend Y/N he immediately vented to her about what happened.

“I promise you this Y/N once I graduate from this hellhole of a school I’m moving back to California”. He said as he looked her in the eyes, still highly upset from last night.

Y/N has been friends with Billy since he moved there; she's the only female who turned down his advantages. She has seen first hand how much of a dick his dad is.

“ Billy you know my family loves you and Max you guys can come live with us we have tons of room for you both”. Y/N said while looking at him.

“ I know Y/N but I don’t want to become too dependent on your family or feel like a burden “. He said sadly while pulling into the parking lot of the school.

“ I understand Billy but that's not the best environment for you , I see you Billy, you have so much potential”. She said getting her stuff so she can get out of the car.

Y/N from the outside looking in she knew Billy wasn’t really a bad guy; it was the environment he was in. She knew deep down he had a heart of gold. Y/N hated to see him going through his fathers abuse physically and mentally. Y/N still remembers the first time he came to the house looking for help.

Billy treasures their friendship she’s the only one he can be his true self with. Which is the reason why he tells her everything that goes on in his life she’s been there when he felt like giving up and she brought him back. Plus she’s the only female that turned down his advantages. He respects her so much he wouldn’t know what to do without her   

“ Thanks Y/N I appreciate it so much”. Billy said while helping Y/N get out the car. Everybody in the school knew not to mess with Y/N unless they wanted to see Billy's wrath. Y/N was also friends with Nancy who didn’t support her friendship with Billy but Y/N can care less about her opinion.

“ Y/N I don’t see why you continue to hang out with him especially with his reputation”.  Nancy said while waiting for Y/N to get her stuff out her locker. Y/N looked at Nancy like she grew two heads for the simple fact she dated Steve and he was the same way as Billy once upon a time.

“ Nancy you know you're acting like a big ass hypocrite and I don’t like it I didn’t say anything when you were dating Steve now did I “ Y/N says because at this point she was getting on her nerves.

“ I'm just saying Y/N he's bad news I’m just trying to look out for you ya know as a good friend”. Nancy says while trying to justify her actions.

“ You know what’s bad news Nancy fucking Jonathan  while still in a relationship with Steve and stringing him along then playing innocent that’s bad fucking news”. Y/N says yelling at Nancy while closing her locker. Everybody looking at the two in the hallway shocked at the two that’s arguing just then Steve and Billy walked up to see what had happened.

“ Y/N/N what’s going on here what’s wrong”. Steve asks, kind of shocked from her outburst.

“ Nothing is going on, just people need to stay in their place, especially when they don’t know what's going on”. Y/N said. Just then Billy came and wrapped his arm around Y/N asking her if she's okay which she responded saying she's fine.

After that incident Billy pulled Y/N to the side to get the truth about what happened. Once she told him the full story he was livid how dare she come to Y/N like that. He was gonna make sure that she’ll never fix her mouth to say that to her again.

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU'LL WANT A PART 2 I'LL TAKE ANY KIND OF FEEDBACK.

[jamiedc-they-them]

Being the SHIELD ladies’ best friend would include:

DAISY

You meet her when she is named Skye.

There is, almost, an innocence to her. One that you want to help keep for as long as you can. So, you play the better cop, not being too aggressive to her. Your kind.

She looks at you without the hardened, protective gaze. It almost softens a little at you.

Seems the term fast friends just got an upgrade

As you go on the mission to get Mike, you go with her to the van. Sadly, to be knocked out.

As Mike orders her to drive, she asks him, “Y/N is ok, right?”

Mike is perplexed but assures her you’re ok.

When you find her at the station, you are quick to intervene and protect her.

When the whole situation is delt with, you go with her and Coulson to make sure Ace is ok.

She then pulls you aside when you arrive to the hanger: “Can you…can you help me unpack the van?”

You accept. Wanting to make her entrance to this crazy, crazy world of SHIELD as seamless as possible.

You give her a sad smile when she calls the van ‘home’.

Fitzsimmons get her to her room, but you visit her, making sure she is ok.

As you go on about more and more missions, you both just seem to act like you’ve been best friends for years.

You can tell by the how attached to you she gets, that she’s always wanted a best friend.

So, you’re damn sure you’re going to make sure you’re the best one she can ask for.

It’s small gestures from both sides that make it unique; checking up on each other after training, sitting on the sofa in the living area together, not even talking, just in each others company; if one of you has a bad day, the other will check up on them.

She’s just as committed to the friendship as you are.

You get hurt on a mission one time, and she sits by you, pretty much blowing off training to stay by your side as you recover.

Ward, in any other situation, would be pissed, but he lets it slide.

She gets you anything you need for recovery, even doing extra training to make sure it doesn’t happen to you again.

“Y/N wouldn’t of been hurt if I had been there to have their back.”

“Skye, it wasn’t your –”

“I know, Ward. It just – it sucks. Seeing someone you care about get hurt like that. I’m done with that.”

So, she pushes herself more and more.

You do get better. And the first thing she does is tackle you in a hug (like, as strong as the one she gave Jemma when she nearly died).

Then you find out why she joined SHIELD, to find more about her family.

You don’t say anything when she leaves Coulson’s office, just sit with her.

She holds your hand for support, and you just give it a squeeze. A silent “I’m here.”

After that day, she trusts you completely. With everything she’s got.

She makes a decision then and there, that you the sibling she’s never had.

Before you ever go off on a mission, she’s always there to see you off. She hugs you tight, just asking for you to be careful and make it back safe.

And when you do return, she hugs you just as tightly. In fact, she’s most likely waiting for you.

Then she gets hurt. She’s near death thanks to Ian Quinn.

The whole time, you don’t really register anything. You are almost on autopilot.

You don’t really remember anything; just finding her and then being in the room with Quinn and beating him senseless.

You go on the raid to save her, to find what can save her, and you’re ruthless.

When you get it and she’s deemed safe, by Jemma, you are sat by her side.

The tables are reversed, and you are covered in blood that isn’t your own, but you don’t care.

Coulson, however, does make you clean yourself up. If not for yourself, than for Skye.

When she wakes, you’re asleep by her side.

She smiles, both at your adorably, vulnerable state, and about how you stayed with her.

She grabs your hand that is on the railing, knowing that you are tactile. With hugs, and what not.

It wakes you up, but you calm down once you see it’s her.

You sit for hours, talking and catching up. You smile so big; your best friend is back alive.

You see how she throws herself into training more and more now.

You both seem to; both out of a general want to be better as an agent, but also to fight better together when it comes to that time.

It just so happens, that she is able to beat you in one of your fights. And you are so damn proud of her.

When Skye gets her badge, you hang back, waiting until it is just the two of you.

You hug her. It’s silent, but there are no words needed.

Then SHIELD collapses.

You’re separated from her when it happens; she goes with Ward, you go with Coulson and the others.

You get a bit banged up in the fight, but make it out.

She approaches you, worry in her eyes as to what is going on and how you are handling it.

After all, you’re whole world has just gone up in flames.

You are tearful in this moment, and she wraps her arms around you, just holding you tight.

The roles are almost flipped at this point.

Now, she is the one who keeps an extra eye on you.

She see’s that you’re repressing some of this, taking out other parts of it on the team and HYDRA.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” She tells you when she takes your badge.

“It’s not your fault, Skye.”

“I know. But, we’re gonna fix it.” She assures you. And there is a firmness in her tone. One that you so desperately want to believe.

As the others go out on the mission to find the escape convicts, you stay with Skye.

Actually, it’s more by her own insistence.

“Y/N is one of my best agents, Skye.” Coulson says.

“I understand that, sir. But…they need a break.” She argues.

Coulson admits the point she has, and so orders you to stay.

That, however, gets you stabbed by Grant Ward.

He leaves you for dead, but does tell you he has left you with a chance.

When Skye finds Eric, her next thought is you. Especially after seeing the message Fitz leaves behind.

However, before she can get to you, she sees Ward.

“W-Where’s Y/N?” She asks, trying to stop the tremor in her voice.

“They’re fine. They said they’d hold down the fort while we go.” Ward says.

She goes to say more, but knows that it’ll raise suspicion.

She leaves with him, but her worry for you only continues as they take off and leave.

Ward then comes clean, in a slip up.

“And Y/N?”

“I gave them a chance, Skye! What they do with it is up to them!” He roars, but then realises his mistake.

“—What?” She asks, shocked.

“I—I did what I had to do. But, I gave them a chance. Me and them? We’re survivors. It’s what we do.” He’s saying it to make himself believe it.

When she gets away and goes to the motel, Jemma tells her where you are.

She goes to your room, seeing you sat on your bed.

She doesn’t know whether to run and hug you, or just sit next to you.

She sits next to you, looking at the wound he has left behind.

If you were spiraling before, this would be the climax of that.

She sees how shattered you are. How much this has worn you out.

So, she does the only thing she can, she grabs your hand and stays with you.

You know you are on your own know with taking HYDRA down. But, you have each other.

When it comes to the endgame, you are with her. And you both confront Ward, together.

“Y/N, I mean it when I say this, it’s good to see you.” Ward says, with some scincerity in his voice.

“You don’t get to say that to them. You just look at me, Ward.” Skye spits, putting herself in front of you more as a shield (ha).

Ward is almost impressed. But, you knew she would make a good agent.

Now you were together, SHIELD partners.

You both get Ace out together.

As time goes in, Skye see’s a difference in you.

You’ve become more determined. You’ve almost become a shell of who you were.

You throw yourself into work more. You don’t talk as much. You’re almost dead serious now.

Skye, knowing that confronting you won’t work, does other things to show her support for you:

Be that leaving food outside your room, staying up late to make sure you’re ok, radioing you when available for a talk (or sometimes so she can vent about something and just have you listen).

She starts to get you out of that shell a bit, with going on missions with you and keeping an eye on you.

Then she meets her father, and now she has a choice: SHIELD or her father.

When She confronts Raina, you run into the tomb with Tripp.

It becomes his. But you’re lucky.

She has the player to push away with her Quaking, you pull things towards yourself.

You both get taken to the home in the middle of nowhere.

It gives you time to both get used to your powers and also get your friendship back to where it was.

And it works. It’s peaceful.

That is, until Gordan others you a place to be. And SHIELD come after for you both.

You both fight a different agent, but you’re in sync like no others. You both slam the bodies of your opponents against each other.

When the bullet goes off and she Quakes it away, she puts herself in front of you to do it, making sure it doesn’t effect you.

When she meets her mother, she swears you to secrecy and lets you know.

You promise to keep it between yourself and her.

It’s on this day that a special event occurs in your friendship.

She takes you to see her parents. At first, they think it might be a dating scenario. But she’s quick to shoot it down:

“This is Y/N…They’re pretty much my sibling.”

You get teary eyed at the admission

However, her parents (while at first, taken aback) seem to welcome you in just fine.

Now, it’s not just her caught between these people who are like the two of you, and those at home that you love.

Her parents make extra effort with you, putting in the work to get to know you.

And, in telling you Skye’s true name of Daisy, it seems the trust has been successfully found with them.

She’s ecstatic when she hears about it.

Then you go to get Lincoln back, someone who has become a friend to you.

And, like clockwork, you’re both in sync, now with your powers in the mix. You’re an unstoppable force.

However, like a rhyme, your world comes crashing down again. This time, apprantly from those you loved back at home.

It’s a mess, with certain agents wanting to take you down, and others wanting to take you in with ICERS.

Daisy Quake’s a bullet back to a agent, not even caring if it’s a kill shot.

When it comes to May, it’s a team up. And, while the woman holds her own, you both take her down.

When you’re taken in and her mother reveals her true plan, Daisy and you know you have to stop it.

So, you team up against the clones; you split them up.

As May pushes Daisy to go for her mother, you give her the nod that tells her to go.

After it’s all done, you embrace her, knowing she has now lost her two parents.

However, she shows you the plan Coulson has for the team of Inhumans:

“I want you as my second in command. Just in case something happens to me. I need you by my side, Y/N. You’re my sibling, not by blood, but by choice, and that means something to me.”

“It means a hell of a lot to me too, Dais. You need me there, I’ll be there. All the way.”

And so, you gain a third SHIELD partner of Mack, who plays big brother to you both.

It’s nice; having this family unit.

Of course, you and Daisy are as efficient as ever. If not more.

You’ve both now had time to hone your abilities and so you both kick more arse with them.

Mack swears you two have telepathy or something. With the way you both seem to know what the other will do without any verbal need to express them before hand.

However, he loves that you both have that gift, and does find it extremely useful in the field.

As Daisy holds the portal open for Fitz, when he jumps into it, you use your power to hold everything else in place.

It nearly kills you both, something Coulson scolds you for. But, it means getting Jemma out.

You both, when being questioned by Coulson, try to comfort him.

As much as he is war mode, he makes a note of the similarities that are eery with you both.

Again, when it comes to the portal, despite how you might actually die this time, you both stay.

You’re partners, to the end.

Of course, you all get out.

It’s not long before that team you’ve been working towards is activated.

Despite some slip ups, you all get through it. With Daisy going one way, you another.

As the rest of the team leaves, Daisy pulls you aside:

“Good team, huh?”

“Gotta admit, they aren’t bad.”

“I’m proud of you, Y/N. And, thanks for having my back.”

“Of course, Daisy. Where you go, I go, right?” She nods.

“Where you go, I go.”

….Then, Hive happens.

You feel the shakes, quickly darting out of your room.

However, it’s Mack who stops you, proclaiming that you’d only get yourself killed.

You, like Coulson, are desperate for anything that can get her back.

When out, chasing a lead, you run into her.

It’s a grizzly fight. It’s not SHIELD approved at all. It’s almost like a street fight with the moves.

It’s not clean. It’s filled with emotion; hate, love, worry.

In the end, she pins you down:

“Stay out of this, Y/N. I’ve told him to leave you alone for now. But, don’t push it. I’m only trying to help you!”

“By pinning me to the ground?”

“By keeping you alive. I’m not losing you, Y/N.”

When she hurts Mack, you desperately try to make yourself not be mad at her.

Hell, even Jemma talks to you about it.

“It’s ok if you are angry, Y/N. She’s my friend too, but…It’s ok to be hurt by this.”

And so, you let yourself be.

You let yourself feel the pain of losing your best friend; your sister in all but blood.

Then she’s back and it’s…different.

She’s drained. It’s almost like seeing how you were after SHIELD fell.

You know that seeing her would do no good for her, so you keep your distance.

You show your support mainly through bringing food.

It’s the small gestures that count.

When it comes to the final fight, you have to hold her back when she goes to stop Lincoln.

She fights against you, but finally tires herself out and instead runs for the radio.

You can only watch as your best friend breaks down completely.

You do, later, in private. At all you’ve been through in the short few years after meeting her.

However, if leaving her to her own devices caused this, you are going to fix that.

So, when she goes to get into her van, she pauses when she see’s you in the driver’s seat:

“What the hell?” She’s angry.

“You really think I’d let you do this alone?”

“I’m not letting you get hurt by another one of my mistakes –”

“I already am hurt by all this, Daisy. I shouldn’t have let you alone.”

So, you both become two majorly depressed, borderline suicidal friends that either ignore your pain or use it to fuel yourself.

You both hurt from one majorly similar thing, and a different thing;

For you, it’s not blame for not doing enough; for Daisy, the team, and Lincoln.

For Daisy, it’s causing you and the rest that pain.

There’s an unwritten rule; don’t talk about it.

There’s not a lot of chatter, unless it’s about whatever “op” you’re running.

Most of the time, one of you ends up with some bad scrape.

But, you both keep pushing.

You need to stop the watch dogs, and yourselves.

When Jemma finds you both bleeding in her new house, she’s both shocked and hurt:

“Six months of nothing, and this is our hello?”

One thing she can clearly see is that you both are not in good headspaces, at all.

She told you to let yourself be hurt and feel it; she just wasn’t aware of how much hurt there truly was.

However, she has a sneaking suspicion that Daisy does know.

She teams up with you, despite knowing the damage you two are willing to put yourselves in.

When you get outed, you and Daisy share a look. You then look to Jemma, who gets ready.

As Daisy slams her hand into the floor, pushing them away, you hold out your hand and slam a few into the ground.

That is your signature move, in a way.

As you are both forced back to SHIELD, you both still only really fully trust each other. Or, rather, let yourself be around the other.

You both still push away help, despite advising the other not to do that. Ironic.

You both share a room now. Both seem to be only interested in wallowing in your darkness together.

However, as time goes on, things start to look up for you and your best friend:

You get reinstated, you get to argue your case, and you go back into the fold again.

You both also, kind of, starting asking for help when it’s desperately needed.

Granted, it’s normally motivated by one or the other being in that type of need, but still.

It’s progress

Then you, her, and Jemma all get plugged into the framework.

It’s a whole other ball game.

You died in this life, like Jemma.

In fact, that’s how Daisy finds you both, having both been in the same grave.

Her heart stopped when she saw you both were dead.

Two siblings to her, both gone, apparently.

But, you were both alive and well and came together as your own trio.

When she used to with you well on your missions for SHIELD, you do the same when she goes undercover at HYDRA.

It’s odd, as Jemma later tells you, how you both seem to constantly flip between who does things like that in your friendship.

You see that Ward is back, and this time a genuine one.

This one even apologises for what the real him did. So, that’s a bonus.

She forces him to know, but this is before she see’s he’s a good guy. It’s actually one of the things that helps her realise it

Then comes space. Jesus, space.

Kasius uses you, like Jemma, as motivation for Daisy.

And it works like a charm.

She fights, putting herself through hell just for the chance of you both making it out alive.

When it comes to the escape, you use your power to drag her opponent away from her so you can deliver a blow to the woman.

You take over for Daisy in the fight.

However, when you’re knocked down, Daisy Quakes her away.

No one fucks with her family.

When she finds out what happened to the earth, she gets told something that makes her freeze:

“Y/N Johnson was never there.”

She keeps this from you, giving you glances whenever you aren’t looking.

It’s one of the reasons she tries to give herself up.

Back on earth, she’s more cautious, yet overly protective of you.

She tries to keep you back at base as much as she can.

She always tries to play it off as needing your help with the tech (which she does fine useful), but you can tell something else is going on.

You confront on it the day before the event:

“Daisy, what’s going on?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, keeping me here all the time, cooped up?”

“I—I’m not.”

“You know this whole, ‘read you like a book’ thing goes two ways, right?”

You’ve got her there, “…I….” She tears up, just thinking about it.

“Just say it.” You prod, your own eyes welling up as a reaction.

She takes a moment to gulp, to prepare herself, “…I destroy the world…and no one hears from you…no one hears from you before it, or after.”

There, it’s out now.

Your breath leaves you; both at the weight of it, but also how she kept it from you.

“Y/N, I’m sorry –” She goes out to try and comfort you, but you push the hand away in anger.

“You don’t get to do that, Daisy! You don’t get to chose what I should know, and what I shouldn’t!”

“I had to protect you!” She exclaims, desperate for your to see her side of things.

“You’ve done the complete opposite.” You sneer, walking away. Your tears start dropping, as do hers.

Then, the big one occurs.

While Daisy is tortured by Fitz, you are confronted by a darker version of your best friend.

“You know she just gave you that name because she feels sorry for you. You know that, right?”

You shake your head, “That’s not true.”

“Let me guess, ‘That’s not true, that’s impossible?’ Oh, it is very possible, Y/N.”

After the encounter you have (it ends in you having to put her down), there’s a shift.

Daisy becomes more of a hard-ass leader. And you fold into yourself. Your insecurities getting to you.

It leads to you and Daisy butting heads more and more.

It never gets physical, it just gets loud.

The team have to watch as you both pretty much just yell and – at some points – tear each other to shreds.

You’re both angry; you’re both scared; you’re both tired.

However, as you all get ready to confront Talbot, she knocks on your door:

“I know this won’t make up for everything, but I am so, so, so sorry for the things I said…I know I should’ve – I should’ve done something. Especially with what bitch-me said.”

“We both said shit we want to take back. You’re right, it ain’t gonna fix it. But…I’m willing to try if you are.”

Her answer is a hug, one that seems to be the tightest and longest one you’ve shared.

After that, you both start to get to where you were.

In space, there are things that pull you back together. Be that:

Sitting together and looking at the universe,

Getting hurt on a mission and helping the other recover,

Just talking for the sake of it and for comfort.

You slowly get back to being the very tight nit friends you were.

However, despite the small gap there is at this time, one thing is for certain;

She will always have your back, just as you have her’s.

You maybe not be where your dynamic was, but you still love and care for each other.

That was never on the card for either of you: quitting the friendship.

You’ve been through too much shit to let some words pull you apart.

You take the puffs, just like herself and Jemma.

You all…well, you all cause anarchy.

When the guards appear, you and Daisy – surprisingly – do a not too bad job.

Even if she tries to warn you right as you get it (it’s the thought that counts)

You are both confronted with someone that used to be a father figure to you both. And it throws you both for a loop.

Daisy walks out, and you are quick to follow; A) to check on her; and B) Because it freaks you out too.

You both try to avoid the elephant in the room, but you both soon find yourself on the truck together with May.

It’s not idea, but you’d rather go through this weird ass shit together than be apart for it.

After May’s ‘demise’ you now have that to deal with. Along with Coulson coming back.

It’s like you have swapped one parental figure for another.

You both help each other in picking out period specific clothing before exploring said period.

You both end up in the time loop, with you being tested on as well.

It’s a …weird time.

But, it leads to a lot of moments of you looking at each other in exasperation while trying to save the rest of your friends – family.

Then Kora comes around, and it’s a shock to you both.

But, you let Daisy rant as she see’s her mother and now sister for the first time.

She appreciates it hugely.

In the final battle with Malick, it’s Daisy vs Him. It’s something she has to beg to let you do.

“Daisy –”

“Y/N, I need you to trust me here. I need to do this, alright? No, keep Danny boy alive for me, alright?”

Oh, you bet your ass you teased her for her crush on Danny.

You even gave him the “don’t hurt my bestie” speech.

He did take it seriously, comically so.

Even did a scouts honour type thing.

Daisy gets tossed around a bit by him, with your power.

“Being killed by your best friend, must suck, huh?” He taunts her as she gets up.

When he has her where he wanted her, he leaned in close:

“After I’m done with you, I’m gonna make sure Y/N gets a taste of their own medicine. And, I want you to die, knowing that your ability is going to be the thing that kills your best friend.”

“Not…If…I…Have…Anything…To…Say…About it.” She says, before she releasing all the energy she has in one massive shock wave.

When Kora saves Daisy, it gets her in your good books.

You stay with Daisy, becoming a family unit with the three.

You wouldn’t have it any other way.

And neither would she.

 JEMMA

You meet Jemma when you are both young, in Primary school.

You become friends quite quick.

She’s the scientist, you’re the creative one whose more…let’s say aggressive.

You’re protective of her (not that she isn’t of you, as she is), but you’re more of the physical kind.

If someone even looks at her wrong, you’re there.

“Problem?” You’d ask them.

As the time goes on, that does get you in trouble.

She, however, waits for you whenever it lands you in that trouble.

“For goodness sake, Y/N, you’re going to get expelled at this point.” She chastises you as you leave the detention.

“Let them.”

“I’m not going to bloody let them do this. You deserve this chance, Y/N. Just…use it. For me, please.”

You are protective physically, she is in a more emotional sense.

After that day, you do try.

You both join SHIELD, just in different places; her with Science, you with the SHIELD Ops.

However, you both make sure to not lose communication. You call whenever you can.

When Coulson is recruiting for the team, he goes to you first, and that is how he just knows that Fitzsimmons will fit right in.

Oh, you know Fitz. You’ve both heard of him to no end, and also met the guy. You like him.

“Agent Y/N is one of the most promising agents, they talked highly of you, agent Simmons.” He tells her when they meet with Coulson.

“Oh, well, if it was the other way around –” She says bashfully.

“You would’ve done it too. They said that.”

It’s how you both reunite fully.

It’s a long hug, one of pure joy.

“Isn’t this exciting, Y/N? We get to be together again. You, me, and Fitz!” She’s giddy. And you can’t help but go with it.

She’s infectious.

When Skye joins, she comes to you, feeling that you are the most “normal” out of the trio.

“So, what’s their deal?”

“What do you mean?” You ask her.

“Like…are they a thing, or…?”

“As far as I know, not a thing.”

“You don’t think they should be?”

“I think Simmons will do what she thinks best for herself. I get it, though. But…I’m not gonna force her.”

“You’re a good friend.”

“She taught me how to be a good one.” Your words are honest.

Jemma always tries to keep you around when she can; be that by playing board games with you; long chats in the evening (normally with beer); or just keeping you in the lab.

She just likes having you around. It’s a comforting presence, like Fitz.

It’s normal, to her. The one thing that is in a world filled with things that aren’t normal.

With you being a field agent, you go out on the jobs.

She always worries about you.

“Please be careful?” She asks, handing you a bag with a sandwich in.

Yours isn’t as special as Fitz’s, but she still makes sure to make sure it is perfect.

You always appreciate her innocence. It’s something you want to protect.

She’s always able to see the good. You the more darker side.

It’s a balance.

You are almost in tears when she is dying from the Chitari helmet.

As everyone leaves, you stay.

“Y/N –”

“I’m not leaving.” You declare.

“Y/N, please. I don’t want the last thing you see of me being –”

“I’m not leaving, Jem.” You place your hand on the glass.

She does the same action.

When she comes back from the fall, you hug her, tightly.

“I’m here. I’m ok.” She assures you, softly whispering it in your ear.

As said, she was always better at dealing with emotional needs for other than you are.

If you do get hurt, she patches you up, but does barrate you, like she used to do in school.

“I was slow, Jem.”

“I’m not blaming you for getting hurt, I’m just saddened that you did.”

“I know, but I’m going to be. But…you’ll always be here to patch me up, right?”

She stops what she’s doing, and meets your eyes, “Always.” She promises you.

Being friends for so long and being through so much, Jemma can read you like a book.

And she can always tell when your insecurities are getting to you. Or you are anxious about a situation.

She’s sutble with her gestures:

A hand squeeze, or a hand on a knee if you’re sat at a table,

An excuse to get you out.

That sort of thing.

She loves you dearly, and just wants you to be ok.

She knows that, with the mental things, she can’t fix it.

And, she’d never tell you, but it frustrates her that she can’t.

However, she still stands by you.

You lash out at her when in an episode? She can take it. Hurt? A little, but she knows you don’t mean it.

You stay in all day? She alerts Coulson (Who takes this stuff seriously) and normally tries to spend as much time as she can with you.

She wants you to know that she’s there and that she loves you.

When the fall of SHIELD occurs, she pulls you and Fitz into a bear hug.

She see’s you’ve been hit in defending Fitz, and worries constantly about you.

“Let me look, Y/N.” She tries, but she knows how you are.

“I’m fine, Jemma.” You insist.

“Y/N, I’m serious.”

“So am I, Jemma. I’m ok, seriously. We need to clear the –”

“Y/N,” Her tone is firm, “I’m going to take you to the lab, and we’re going to look at your wound, do you understand?”

It’s the first time she’d been that firm with you.

It’s the first time you notice just how far you’re best friend has come and how much she has changed.

She’s found a confidence, but also lost a part of that innocence.

So, you let her look.

As she fixes it, she’s as gentle as always, but you can tell she’s holding a lot in.

But, she’s putting on a brave face for you.

When she’s done, you put your hands on her shoulders:

“It’s ok to cry, Jem. It’s been a long day.”

And, so, she does.

You embrace her as she does so. Letting out all this pain and confusion.

One thing she knows for sure, though, she has you. Her best friend that she’s known for – pretty much – her whole life.

And she doesn’t know what she’d do without you.

When Ward dumps them in the ocean and you’re left behind, you are fighting him in desperation.

She screams out your name as the pod goes.

It’s those agonising hours of not knowing if you’re alive or not.

When she reunites with the team, she has to deliver the news.

“Where’s Y/N?” Skye asks, not noticing your presence.

Jemma’s speech trembles, “…We don’t know.”

It’s one of the things and reasons she goes to HYDRA undercover. To find you.

And, she gets lucky. It takes a while, but she is able to find you.

You’re being held as a prisoner.

When Bobbi breaks her out, she makes sure to tell Bobbi about you.

“We need to find, Y/N!” She insists.

“I know. We will.” Bobbi assures her.

When they find you, though, you’re almost a husk at this point.

You have been drained. You look like a corpse.

“Can you shoulder them?” Bobbi asks, taking point.

Jemma helps you up, “I do.”

She encourages you the whole way, trying to coax you awake, and to stop her own worry.

She had found her best friend, in anything but a good state.

When you return, she gets you to medical.

Nothing else matters to her in this moment, just making sure your ok.

It is a long process, but they find what HYDRA have done to you.

It is gruesome, and it makes her want to vomit a few times.

It hurts her, knowing that you have been through so much and she had no power to stop it.

She, like with Fitz, has to…well, kind of adapt.

Your more jumpy now.

Whenever you do, she’s always there to help bring you back:

“It was just a door, Y/N, it’s ok.”

She makes damn sure this time to keep you in her eyes sight.

Is it a bit over protective? Yes. But, she means well.

She’s been away for so long, and everything isn’t how she left it, and so she wants to make up for lost time.

She requests to Coulson that you stay at base more, helping in the lab.

Coulson does agree to send you on missions less frequently, but does want you to see a therapist.

However, during this time, there is like zero possibility for it.

At least, until Andrew arrives.

Now, you are a bit hurt by Skye not telling you about the powers, but you do understand.

And, in one particular nasty moment, yourself and Jemma end up in a heated argument with Skye watching the whole thing.

She watches as you both just get more and more upset with the other, how you both don’t go for each other on a personal level, but with the intensity of the words you say and how you both are with being near breaking point, it comes close.

When Andrew comes in, she asks for him to help you.

He agrees, of course.

“Y/N, I’m Andrew. I know I was brought in for Skye. But, Jemma’s told me that you could use a session, too?” He says as he approaches you.

“Do I, like, have to pay for it?” It’s not meant as a joke. But, he does chuckle and shake his head.

“Not at all.”

So, you have a sitdown with him a private place, and you start to open up (it takes a few attempts from him, but he gets there).

He makes his notes, but you just vent.

You let it all out.

Jemma sits outside the room, keeping herself occupied while she waits.

When you leave, she’s there.

“Hi.” She greets, almost a bit nervous.

You give her a timid smile. And she see’s that you have been crying.

As much as she doesn’t like the look of pain you have. She is glad you’ve opened up to someone.

When “Real SHIELD” approach, some believe you have been compromised.

Jemma, in an instant, gets involved:

“Don’t you dare insist that Y/N is one of them. They’re one of the most loyal people I know. They wouldn’t just turn tail and run unlike some of you, people. Abandoning Coulson while he tries to rebuild SHIELD for…whatever your sick version is.”

She makes sure to keep you extra close when this whole thing is going down.

Anyone gives you a look, she just glares at them until they look away.

Part of her knows that you both have swapped; now she’s the physical one with protectiveness.

Slowly, as she helps ground you and assures you that you are the real SHIELD here, she see’s you start to come back, little by little.

You smile a bit more sometimes when around her or one of the team you guys can trust; you talk more.

She’s proud. So, very proud of you.

She smiles so big. It’s almost like old times with her bright smile.

By the time everything has reached it’s end point with the Inhumans in Afterlife, you go out on the field more.

But now you are in regular therapy sessions (unlike her, despite her needing it too)

However, one key event is always brought up in the session; her disappearance.

You, like Fitz, are desperate to find her.

So, you chase every lead with him.

It’s reckless, but it’s needed to get her back.

You both don’t give up. You can’t. Jemma didn’t on you when she was in HYDRA.

And, anyways, she’s your best friend. You aren’t exactly going to just walk away from this when she could be alive.

That could be keeps you going.

When you do find her, you make sure to stay with her when you can.

When she wakes from a nightmare, she see’s Fitz sat next to her, and you at the end of the bed, laid out.

Two of her favourite people in the world, staying with her.

Just as Fitz does, you listen to the voice recordings she made for you both.

Now, it’s your turn to ground her. And you do your upmost to do it.

If she jumps, your there to assure her it is nothing dangerous.

Then, Ward gets the three (You, Jemma, and Fitz) and holds you hostage.

Instead of Jemma being tortured, it is you.

Ward knows that it will break Jemma and help him get the information he wants.

She does, in the end, almost brought to tears by the fear for you and hate for Ward.

She, however, does threaten him plenty of times; just as many times as Fitz does.

When they get you back, they make sure to keep you behind them.

You and Jemma are held in the tent as Fitz is sent to the planet.

You both sneak out, with you taking point.

Both of you decide to let Lash out. Knowing you’re out of options.

When Hive takes Daisy, you all want her back.

But Jemma see’s a determined look with you. And she’s scared.

She knows how you can be when it comes to people you love.

She’s proven right when you go over board in your attempt to get back Daisy.

It nearly. Very nearly ends in your demise.

It would’ve, had Lincoln not been there to help.

Having an actual doctor on sight helped with her saving your life.

She makes sure to thank him, a lot of times, after.

Unfortunately, you are out of action for the rest of it. Recovering.

She’s quick to make you get back in bed if she catches you even lifting a leg out.

“No, back in bed!” She says as she knocks on the glass.

“But, Jemma –-“

“But nothing, Y/N. Back in bed. Now.”

“As long as you and Fitz don’t make out constantly.”

Oh yeah, they are a thing now.

Your happy for your best friends, and don’t do the shovel talk. You just hug them both.

Jemma does agree to your terms.

When the Swayed Inhumans attack, her first instinct is to get you out of the labs.

So, she takes a deep breath, and goes in. She fires at them, being able to drive them back (with Mack coming in as support) enough so she can get to you and get you out of bed.

“So, cleared for duty?” You ask as she and Mack carry you back to their hideout in the base.

She rolls her eyes, “Not bloody likely.”

It is likely, however.

They need all hands on deck, and you’re one of the best agents they have.

“As long as –”

“As long as I stay near you. I know, Jemma. Those are always the rules when it comes to this.”

“How long have these rules been in place for?” Mack asks out of curiosity.

“Since primary.” You say in sync, “Middle school.” You correct – again, in sync – when he looks confused.

At the end of this event, you have a scar of the time you almost died.

It’s out of sight, but she can tell you are constantly reminded of it in your own mind.

Jemma, however, does her best to keep your thoughts either away from the scar, or tries to give some positive spin on it.

And you appreciate your best friend for it. But, you both know it won’t do anything.

You are promoted, just as she is. However, she is now technically your boss.

It’s a job she takes seriously. So, she’s strict.

But she is still your friend. So, she does her duty, but also does cut you some slack every now and then.

It even comes to a head with Director Mace one time when you slip up.

She, however, does hate that you always go out with Coulson and Mack to find Daisy.

She knows she can’t keep it a secret forever.

You both are there when Daisy reappears in your lives, dragging you into her vendetta.

When she finds out about AIDA, she tells you about it. And it does disturb you a bit too.

That being said, you do train Jemma. Sort of becoming an SO – unofficially, but still.

She wants you to hold nothing back. And, so you don’t.

It ends with one of you needing a plaster or two. But she apricates it.

Is she as good a fighter as you? No, but she’s a good one.

She’s always had that fight in her. You are just helping it have another expression.

When the attack of the LMDs occur, she finds you in the area she – eventually – finds.

She finds you, shit scared. And she is covered in Fi- Robot Fitz’s blood. And she too, is shit scared.

You both point blades at each other, demanding the other stay back. When Daisy joins the room, it escalates.

It’s not until Daisy brings you both into a hug that you know the two of you aren’t Inhumans.

Daisy and you both give Simmons a boost and some hope, before going together to fight the LMDs.

Like her, you are almost killed, but you are both able to hold them off.

Jemma gets you both to the cart, helping you both up the ramp of the Zephier.

You are a teacher in the Framework. And you are the first to make contact with Coulson.

When you see her, despite how she looks, you hug each other.

You had no idea if the other was alive.

When she see’s Fitz kill, you have to drag her away.

You try and comfort her, but you aren’t exactly sure on what to say.

When she kills Fitz’s father, it’s in protection of you. As he attacks you when you try to get the phone off of him.

When she gets taken to Space, you are left behind with Fitz.

She finds items of yours, rusted and almost non-existent.

She fears the worst.

You allow Fitz to see her first, as you know your friend needs some time alone with her.

However, you both do reunite, and hug the tightest you have yet.

She never thought she’d see you again. And you were willing to do anything to get there.

She lets herself have this moment with you. Her best friend is back, and – as long as she has something to say about it – you aren’t going anywhere.

With Deke, you act as another parental/mentor figure to him.

He’s heard stories of you too.

When it comes to the marriage, Jemma asks you to be her best person.

Of course, you agree. You help her with her dress and everything.

You’re just so happy for two of your best friends in the whole world

Sadly, with your past pains, they catch up in the fear dimension.

Fitz has psychotic split and hurts Daisy.

You have a manifestation of your shadow self, and get into a fight with yourself.

You lose, and Jemma finds you a mess.

First, her husband does this to one of her best friends, now one of her other ones has been left in this state.

She, of course, patches you up. But, you can see that she too is shaken by this.

She’s more affectionate this time around; hand grabbing, running a hand through your hair as you go in and out of being asleep.

She just wants you to rest, and to be ok.

Although, she knows that you (that anyone on this team, for that matter) is anything but.

Tragically, you do pass. You do get better, but you sacrifice yourself when saving someone.

She has no choice but to watch. She can’t even scream out your name, she just watches as you drop dead.

Then she gets the news of Fitz.

She’s heartbroken. Shattered. But then hopeful. There’s a younger version of you.

So, she takes a crew to space.

Daisy, being another of your best friends (along with Jemma’s best friend, too) knows that you would want her to make sure Jemma doesn’t drive herself insane.

So, she does. She warns Jemma about the amount of close calls yourself and Fitz had while looking for her.

However, it has the opposite effect, and sends her further in her search.

Daisy, still being the loyal best friend to you both, still reigns Jemma in.

Jemma is reunited with the two of you in the mind prison thing.

It’s a trip, to say the least.

You all go back to different memories of each other. And also see the things that haunt you all.

She’s forced to relive your difficult childhood trauma.

But, she’s with you. At least, until you’re all stuck with your own demons.

When you are all stuck in the containment module, it’s a row where you aren’t even sure on what is being said.

However, the three of you…work through your issues and become the trio you always were.

Even if two of the trio are in a relationship.

She makes sure to help you readjust to the time you guys lost.

You aren’t with her when she changes her timeline with Enoch and Fitz.

So, when you see her again, you can definitely tell that something has changed.

She still acts as your best friend, but there are gaps.

She can’t remember everything.

She instantly knows what outfits to have you wear, depending on the period.

You and Jemma – as Daisy later tells you – were forced to watch each other die a lot of times during the time she had in the loop.

You go with Daisy to get Jemma back when she’s kidnapped.

As Daisy says her speech about Jemma being the sister she’d save, Sousa looks to you.

“I don’t have a speech, just a sister to save.” You say, sitting next to Daisy. The woman gives you a smile.

You’re saddened when Jemma can’t remember anything, but hide it.

For the rest of the time, you stay with Jemma, slowly watching as she gets her memory back.

When it all ends, you both retire from SHIELD.

You become a writer.

Alya Fitzsimmons has also heard a lot about you. She loves you instantly.

Just as you do with her.

You visit your best friends whenever you can.

It’s peaceful.

And you have the best friend in the world who will always have your back and best interests at heart.

 MAY

Being best friends with Melinda May is an odd thing. There’s a before and after for her.

Before Bahrain:

She’s bubbly.

She’s a really happy person.

Supports you with all your interests and hobbies (might even try one or two of them with you.)

You know Andrew, and get a long with him well.

You also know Coulson well, as the three of you are agents.

Post Bahrain:

She’s closed off.

You and Coulson agonize over how to help her, but neither of you are sure on how.

You are forced to watch as her and Andrew slowly fall out of love and it ends.

It hurts, but you know you will always have her back.

You know, deep down, that she will also have yours.

She calls you whenever you’re on a mission, just checking in.

She worries about you.

She tells you about her day in the more boring, office parts of SHIELD.

But, you understand her reasons for not wanting back in.

You don’t force her back in.

When Coulson gets you onto his team, he floats the idea about May.

“Phil…”

“I know, Y/N. I get it, I do. It’s just…and, no offense intended, she’s the best pilot here.”

“Ok, offense only slightly taken. But…ask her.” He smiles, appreciating the blessing.

He uses the fact you’re on the team as a way to get her to consider.

“Y/N will be there.”

“How the hell did you get them to join?”

“I’m their friend too, May.”

“I know. It’s just, I’m surprised they didn’t kick your ass when you wanted me on board.”

“Oh, they nearly did when I said about the pilot thing.”

“You didn’t…?” She’s smiling.

“Oh, I did.” She even laughs.

It’s a short reunion, just a nod with a smile.

But, you’re back together, and Coulson can see if makes you both happy.

The three of you become parental figures to the younger ones.

Especially Daisy.

If she can’t go to Coulson or May, she goes to you.

Your softer than May is. And Daisy appreciates that about you.

With yourself and May, it’s a quiet friendship; filled with silent smiles and times with you sat in the BUS cockpit with her.

As she starts to get back into the field, it’s you and her; partners.

It’s like nothing has changed with yourself and her in the dynamic in the field.

When Andrew comes back, after she goes on the break, you (like him) don’t give up her location.

With yourself and Andrew, it’s a good friendship, just like yourself and Coulson.

When Andrew dies, you instantly try to comfort May, but you see she is trying to hold it all in.

She does, however, appreciate your words of comfort.

When she dies, you’re with her just like with Daisy, holding May’s hand until she goes limp.

With her new ability with her emotions, you always make sure to hug her so she feels the love you have for her.

You help her with them, helping her embrace them and use them.

And she appreciates you like no one else.

 BOBBI

She meets you at the Ops.

She takes you under her wing.

She see’s potential in you, and helps you fulfil it.

Through this, you two bond and become friends.

It’s a light hearted friendship, filled with lots of in jokes and laughter.

You train together.

It takes some time, but you end up winning a few.

She’s so damn proud when you do

You’re like a younger sibling to her.

She tells you about Hunter, and you even meet him during one of their many attempts to reconcile their relationship.

Despite everything Bobbi has said, you get along quite well with Hunter.

Mack too.

Bobbi goes undercover to HYDRA, while you go the SHIELD.

Meaning you meet the rest of the team.

You reunite with Mack and he gets you to meet everyone else.

You grow on them quite quick.

You become an older sibling to the BUS trio.

Whenever anyone (namely Daisy) asks you how you’re so good at this, your answer is always the same;

“Bobbi.”

When Bobbi is injured, you try not to leave her side as much as you can.

But, she also pushes you to keep fighting for SHIELD.

Yourself and Hunter do what you can for her.

You even play matchmaker between the two

When it comes time for her and Hunter to leave, you’re the last to leave the bar.

You and Bobbi share one last, sad, smile.

You are then forced to leave your best friend behind, seemingly for good.

You look out for the team both as your other best friends, but also for her too.

When all this ends, you track them down.

You look hardly like how you did when she last saw you.

But she knows it’s you.

She hugs you so tight.

You just sigh and hug back.

It was a long journey, but you made it.

You were home.

 ELENA

It’s a snarky friendship.

And, with Mack as a big brother to you, it’s (mainly through her influence) about him.

She speeds around to get you anything you need. Anything at all;

Water? Done

Tissues? She’s gone and back within a second.

Medical supplies? Same thing.

She cares about you so much.

She’s very open about how much she cares about you;

Hugs, kisses on the cheek, smiles that are beeming.

She has your back, always.

If you disagree, though, jesus, mind out.

It gets heated very quickly.

Mack normally plays mediator between you.

Either that, or someone else on the team.

They know how you both can be.

However, at the end of the day, you’re always there for the other;

Through her hands being chopped off, helping her adjust to her new ones;

Helping her with her confidence when she loses her powers;

Being overjoyed for her when she gets them back.

She loves you like a sibling.

And she’ll always have your back. Always.

[commaclear]

On a scale from 1-10 how bitchy is Karl going to be? Like once that man unscrambles his brain, is he gonna go all crazy ex-girlfriend on us? Or maybe he’s gonna take the petty route. Or like is he gonna be completely docile (doubt) (very much doubt).

Either way this is gonna dig up some old shit. I remember an ask a while back that you responded with “Quackity was in a really bad place when he and Karl met” so I take it that Karl is one of the reasons he has gotten to the point he is now. Based on what I’ve inferred with the whole Schlatt thing, Karl is how he learned to stand up for himself and communicate in a relationship and accept that it’s okay to say no.

(Also I really wanna talk about the fact that Quackity was into psychology and has so many psychological issues that he won’t acknowledge. And the whole “Karl’s dumb therapist” thing. Homeshit, Wasn’t that gonna be your job? Can’t help others if you can’t help yourself.)

I have a feeling that Quackity believes that lying is the best way to save someone from the dangers of knowing the truth. In a way I feel like it’s from his past relationships. At least if what I’m thinking is true. And he tells himself that he’s going to tell the truth. He swears he’s going to be better and not lie anymore. But the god awful feeling that comes with telling the truth always gets him.

If he told Wilbur the first time, Wilbur wouldn’t have been interested. Okay. Maybe he would’ve. But it was too late then. How would he even know?

If he told slime the truth slime would hate him. This was his fault. Maybe that’s not true. But it was too late then.

If he had told Wilbur on the buss that Karl was awake it would’ve cause Wilbur a lot of distress. Maybe it would’ve helped him talk about it. But it was too late then.

If he had told Karl about Wilbur, Karl would’ve been so angry and upset and Karl deserves better. Maybe he should’ve. Too late now.

If he would’ve just answered Wilbur’s first text with “I’m not doing okay maybe another day” it would’ve been better for both of them. Maybe Wilbur wouldn’t have freaked out. Too late now.

There’s a pattern.

I feel like he lies because he thinks it’s for the greater good. He thinks that by keeping all the secrets to himself that he’s helping his loved ones stay safe. That way there’s no fighting or sadness. It reminds me of situations where a child becomes the person that all the siblings, parents, and friends vent to so they are sitting on top of a pile of secrets that could destroy everything, so they just don’t talk about it and never tell anyone what should’ve been said to prevent more issues. Maybe he learned that in a different relationship? Maybe he was once with someone who would become an insufferable asshole the second there was conflict, so he learned how to tuck secrets and lies away until it was safe for him to tell the truth. And it was never very safe because the amount of damage the truth would cause grew everytime he lied.

Putting off telling the truth ensures he can keep all of his worlds separate (I deadass said the same shit abt btp q). Once you hide one thing it seems so much easier to hide more. Lying is a slippery slope to what’s-even-the-truth-and-what-did-I-tell-others Town. As we learned in btp you cannot have the best of both worlds and withhold a bunch of important info because it just ends in a shit show.

Even if he tells Karl the truth about Wilbur, he’ll probably edit the details. He might see how Karl is looking/reacts and ends it with “but I’m sure he’ll understand” to give Karl false hope because he’s already hurt Karl enough. And even if he doesn’t do that he’s bound to lie about something else. The only thing I can hope for is that Wilbur calls him on his bullshit and actually makes him talk about why he has this habit.

And adding on to something I said earlier. When Karl and him fully begin the breakup process and they are deciding who gets what, Karl might talk about how Quackity doesn’t deserve any of this stuff. That he’s the problem. And it just remind Quackity of the times he’s been told that before. Karl says a lot of shit to him in the moment. Karl doesn’t apologize because you don’t apologize to the people who break your heart. (And ur spine. El oh el.) so Quackity just has to live with the fact that he’s reliving his past relationships. And he probably doesn’t tell Wilbur because then Wilbur might use it against him.

Anyways I could be totally fucking wrong or some shit. This was originally just a question I wasn’t even gonna sign off on and I spiraled.

-the Quackity Analysis Anon

Yeah, Quackity's "I must withhold the truth to protect my loved one (and myself)" mentality definitely comes from some past trauma

But as my sibling says, there are plenty of psych majors out there who analyze everyone else but fail to turn the microscope inward (zir words, I can't take take credit for that cool phrasing)

And to answer your original question, I think I've already dropped a few clues about how Karl's gonna take the news, should he ever receive it

[bondsmagii]

Miceál, my brother has become an incel... He used to be such a smart and, deep down, sweet boy, but now all he does is play lol. He almost never leaves is room, he doesn't shower, doesn't wash his clothes, doesn't ventilate his room, all of that makes him smell like a death animal. He survives off coca cola, fries and burgers and vent his anger by harassing women and minorities. I suspect the reason he is the way he is now is because of some traumatizing events during our childhood, I guess the way he coped was playing online game to forget about everything. My parents no longer give a crap about what is he gonna do once he becomes a legal adult, but I'm personally deeply worried about him. After all, I kind of understand that after all, he's just a 16 year old who didn't get the emotional support he needed. Do you have any advice on how can I help him realize that his lifestyle is not healthy at all? He won't listen to me (nor anyone else, really), whenever I try talking to him he just tells me to fuck off and leave him the fuck alone. Sorry for bothering with such things, but when it comes to this type of stuff you seem to give good advice.

honestly, this is the worst situation I can imagine when it comes to ideology and people you care about. unfortunately the only tips I have are time consuming and often unsuccessful -- with this kind of thing, the person has to consent to helping themselves, too. if they refuse, there's not really anything that can be done.

unfortunately I'm speaking from experience. a short while ago I had a friend I was close to and who I'd known for two years. one day, totally out of the blue, she told me she felt we were close enough that I would "understand", and that she didn't think I would judge her because I was so "open-minded", and a bunch of other compliments that she laid on thick before telling me she was a TERF. her own words. she was a straight-up TERF, ran a discourse blog full of TERF shit, had an entire group of friends who were TERFs... it was a mess. at first I talked to her about it, and similarly to your brother she had been through a lot of trauma when she was younger, relating to her sexuality and gender presentation. it had forced her into making changes to her body that she regretted and was in the process of reversing. she was angry and bitter, and rightly so, but again like your brother she was misdirecting her anger towards those who didn't deserve it rather than the system that allowed it all to happen in the first place. at first it was promising, and she really did seem to realise what she was doing wasn't the right way to go and made some real progress in moving away from the circles... but then a few months later she was back into it again, sending me link upon link to "proof" and trying to persuade me that she was right. at that point I broke off the friendship and stopped contact with her.

I'm sorry this doesn't have a happy ending, but unfortunately these groups -- TERFS, incels, Nazis, etc -- are very good at targeting the vulnerable and telling them exactly what they want to hear: it's not their fault, all the shit that's happened to them and the pain and resentment they feel. it's the fault of whatever minority or group they want to target, be it women, trans people, immigrants, Jewish people, whatever. it's an attractive concept for these people because it means it's not their fault and there's a cause they can rally behind to make things Right. these groups are also very good at indoctrination, building up slowly and exposing people to the really nasty stuff when they're ready to accept it. it is a form of grooming, and it's so slow-burning and insidious that we often don't notice until it's too late. the left is also catastrophically bad at recruiting and maintaining activism because of the purity culture and the constant infighting; a lot of the jokes the alt-right make about the left are completely true. to somebody like your brother, the incel community is organised, saying what he wants to hear, and the political altnerative is a bunch of weirdos shouting at one another about children's cartoons. it's a no-brainer. he feels powerful and enlightened, which is a very attractive thing for someone who is, at root, a traumatised child.

the best thing you can do at this point, I think, is try to separate him from as much of this input as possible. you'll have to work slow, and subtle, but the more time he's away from this indoctrinating information the more likely it'll be that phase two is successful: beginning to essentially reeducate him. to do this, you need to find common ground and validate it, and then slowly turn his annoyance and opinions around to the real cause of it. it takes time and has little chance of succeeding, but unless he decides to throw it in on his own, it's his only chance.

he's still young, and while he's living at home his potential to cause harm is thankfully at least somewhat contained. be patient, work subtly, give him other options. try to keep him away from his incel friends, distract him with things that keep him busy and give him a sense of real accomplishment and satisfaction. build up his confidence, compliment him when he does something worth admiring, and try to avoid outright conflict. remember: common ground, and then gradual education. at the end of the day only he can make the final call, but these communities rely on total isolation so that even if somebody wants to get out, they've burned all their bridges and realise they can't -- they'll have nobody left. for as long as you're able, emotionally and morally, keep that bridge open for him. even having just one person to fall back on might be enough for somebody to find the courage to leave one of these cults.

[nintendousimp]

Train of Thought...

Part:1 Getting Caught

Master 👉Next

Pairing: Akaashi Keiji x Reader, Miya Atsumux Reader.

Character: Gender Neutral! or I want to everyone to feel comfortable so any pronouns welcomed for this story.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW, Some angst and colorful language, mentions of cheating and getting caught in the action, mentions of also thinking to forgive unfaithful partner, some grammar errors 😅 ( I need to emphasize this by saying that English is not my first language and although my English is great I still have a lot of trouble so constructive criticism is welcomed 🥰)

Word Count: 2k

Released date: January 19th 2021

I feel like I need to emphasize that all of the characters in this story are aged up! I’m not comfortable with talking about sexual topics if the characters are still in high school and are underage so,this is a timeskip!😅

Before we go any further into the story, I plan to post part 2 of this! Part 2 will take me a bit longer to post due to personal matters but it will be posted!

Enjoy my first ever Haikyuu x Reader Fic!!!

——————————————————————-

You’ve been working late into the night for the past few months so he must’ve thought that this would be your same routine from your previous nights. He's always been a careful person. He knows you have your location on. He always knows where you are but not just for your safety but to also bring her over.

He knows this is wrong. He loves you and knows he could've talked to you about maybe spending less time at work and maybe make a bit more time for him. Atsumu knows that your work is important and he's not gonna take advantage of you like that, especially when you come home from work tired, and with his volleyball schedule and his career you guys barely got to spend time with each other.

He wants to stop this but his need never stops. He knows what he has with her is just something done out of lust and that’s it. Atsumu only wants her around just to make his cock feel good and that’s it. He's already made it very clear he does not plan to leave you and to not get any crazy ideas.

He thought that tonight would be just like any other. He couldn’t have known that you were on your way home. He couldn’t have possibly remembered that today of all days was the release day of your book that you've put months of work into. Who knew that by mistake you left your phone at the office. All he knew at that moment was that your best friend's pussy takes him so well.

As you were driving your way home all you could think about is to hug your husband and yell to the world that you've finally finished your first written work! You felt such accomplishment that this book that you've put all your heart, sweat, and tears into was finally released! So many people believed in your dream but you felt you really couldn’t have done it without the love and support from your husband.

There have been many times where you felt like you haven't been given Atsumu much attention. You've been working long hours and at times late into the night to get this book out before the deadline you've been given. All those hours of hard work you felt paid off, now all that’s left to do is celebrate and who to celebrate better than your husband. After all, he's the inspiration behind your book.

You get out of your car making your way towards the entrance of your house. You notice a car that you've seen before but you can't remember where, so you just brush it off and make your way to the door. As you're unlocking the main entrance door, you don’t notice anything out of the ordinary. The house is dark and there's no one in the living area, I mean what did you expect its one in the morning. You were going about your routine trying to not wake Atsumu up when you hear some strange noises coming from your shared master.

As you're approaching the hallway that leads to your room, you've noticed the noises are starting to sound a lot more like sexual moans. Your first thought would've been that Atsumu might've fallen asleep while watching porn, and you'd believe that. But these moans sounded too real to be coming from the tv in your shared bedroom. You can see from the small gap underneath the door that the lights are still on.

You're getting ready to enter your room when you notice that the door is slightly open. If only someone were to prepare you for what you were about to see. As you enter the room you see what no woman ever wants to go through. Your husband Atsumu on top of another woman.

"I can never see myself with anyone that wasn’t my husband," you said.

Who would’ve thought that my marriage was falling apart… not me right?

Have I been so oblivious this whole time?

How long has this been going on? The question I proceeded to ask myself...

How did I not see this coming?

But now that you saw everything with your own eyes, you realized you’ve put all the pieces to a puzzle you didn’t even know you were solving.

Today was publishing day and you were gonna surprise Tsumu by coming home after the book release, you would have called but your phone may have been misplaced somewhere in your office. You didn’t have time to go back to the office, you’ve been missing Tsumu a lot. But the surprise you got when you entered your shared bedroom and watched as your husband was on top of another woman was not something you ever expected to happen.

As you stood there watching your husband fuck another woman and not just any woman but your best friend all you could think about was, Atsumu the man that promised to be with you for the rest of your life was in your bed fucking your best friend. You want to be angry, you want to run and scream at them, you want to ask why they did it. Not that any explanation would fix anything, you just couldn’t say anything. As you stood there for what felt like a lifetime. Did you lose your train of thought? Did you forget how to talk?

He finally notices that you’ve been standing there. He panics and gets off your best friend as he tries making his way towards you.  All you could think to do at that moment was to just close the door and run out of the house towards your car and make your way out of there. You started driving with no destination in mind, you just wanted to be anywhere away from this bomb. As you're driving, you end up taking the route that leads you to Akaashi’s place. You get out of the car and make your way towards his door.

It’s like you came here out of instinct.

How can you not when you guys have been working on this project for the past several months. He’s a great editor and a great friend too! He appreciates your hard work! You remember when you told him that you wanted to give writing another try and had an idea for a book he immediately offered his services as an editor. He’s always offered his help to you. Even goes out of his way to help you research some titles or genres that you could find interest in writing. He’s a great guy and you’ve grown very close to him.

Now you’re at Keijis place late in the hours of the night. You decided that you couldn’t do this by yourself so you knock on his door.

“Y/N are you alright, What are you doing out so late?” He asks.

You shake your head no. How were you gonna tell Akaashi your world was falling apart. He’s your editor, he shouldn’t need to know that your husband just cheated on you with your best friend.

“Would you like to come in? We can talk about whatever is troubling you?”

He doesn’t give you a second to answer before he grabs your hand and guides you to the living room. He has you sit on his sofa while he makes you both some tea. Some time has passed since you arrived at Akaashi’s, you’re telling him everything that happened an hour prior to being there. Akaashi is tracing small circles on your back. He tells you that this wasn’t your fault and you're not one to blame here and that

“Hey Y/N?”

“Did you say something Keiji?” Y/N says looking up from his shoulder. He can tell they’ve been crying. Akaashi hated seeing them like this. These past several months, he got to know Y/N as a very kind and goal-minded person. He saw someone who only strived to make her and other’s visions come to reality. The months Akaashi spent with Y/N were by far the best few months of his life. He would never tell Y/N that.t He hates that the book is done because now they won’t get to spend as much time together as they used to.

The months he’s been with her he got to spend a lot of time getting to know her world. He observed the way she would get when she had writer’s block. The number of times he’s watched her get frustrated at how she didn’t like the ending of a chapter for the book. He saw how countless nights she felt helpless and wanted to quit. She would fall into a negative state where she convinced herself she wasn’t a good writer. He also saw the nights where she would vent to him about Atsumu becoming distant once again. NIghts where they would drown themselves with work just so they didn’t think about crying.

He saw all of that. Nights where y/n needed Atsumu. Late nights where he was fucking his wife’s best friend.

“What’s your next move?” Akaashi asked.

“I think the best thing right now is for me to go home and get an explanation”

Your expression is giving regret all over it. How were you gonna go back home and look Atsumu in the face? What more could he explain that you don’t already know? You keep going back and forth between blaming yourself more than blaming him. You want to put this in your head as if it was your fault. But you know deep down that if Atsumu really loves you like he says he does he wouldn’t have cheated. At the end of the day, he cheated on you, not the other way around.

“I think I'm gonna call Yachi and see if she’s okay with me spending a few nights at her place just until I figure out what I’m gonna do. In the meantime, I gotta get back home.”

You sigh, you're getting ready to get up when Akaashi takes a hold of your hand

“Wait Before you go, I have a suggestion for tonight if you’d like to hear”

Akaashi doesn’t want you going alone but he also feels as if he’s overstepping his boundaries. He knows this is none of his business but why does he feel like it is?

“How about we go get some of your things and you spend the night here?”

It was a nice offer from Keiji, but you already feel like a burden. He’s been so kind as to listen to you, you just don’t wanna cause him any more trouble.  

“ I appreciate the offer Keiji but I don’t wanna wrap you up in my troubles.”

“ Y/N you’re no trouble, I just want you to know that you’re more than welcomed to stay here.” Akaashi knew you’d reject his invitation. He knows you’re not the type of person to rely on others' help, you’re a giver not a taker after all.

“Can you promise me if you don’t wanna be there with Atsumu you’ll call me and come here?” Akaashi the overthinker, always worrying about others.

“ I promise I’ll call you Keiji, if anything happens I promise to come back here.” The answer appeases him, he lets your hand go.

“Thank you Y/N Can I walk you out?” You nod and make your way towards the entrance door.

“Thank you for having me over at this time of night..” before you could finish your sentence, you were pulled into Akaashi’s arms.

“You don’t have to thank me Y/N, I’m glad you trust me enough to open up about what happened.”

You don’t know why but his words are making you feel safe. You trust Keiji, he’s not the type of guy to hurt anybody.

You thank Akaashi again as he walks you to your car “ Can I check on you tomorrow?”

You reply with a nod “ See you tomorrow Keiji.”

Both of you say your goodbyes. As you’re leaving Akaashi’s house, you can’t help but feel nervous about the conversation you were about to have with your husband. What was gonna happen with your marriage? Can this be forgiven? Questions that kept plaguing your head. Only one question stuck out more than the others…

Do I wanna divorce Atsumu?

Summary:

L/N F/N a young adult working on their first ever book with the help of editor and friend (Akaashi). Discovers that their husband has been cheating on them for the past few months that they’ve  been working nonstop. Heartbroken y/n decides to drown herself in their work. Will they be able to Forgive their cheating husband from his infidelity or will they approach the man who fell in love with them while working on their book?

© All fiction rights of the story belong to @nintendousimp​

Characters belong to the Haruichi Furudate.

[yanderecandystore]

I really like your work. Can I request another yandere among us I really liked the first one?

Look boo, I thought that it would be nice to change a little of the dynamics, yet now I'm kinda concerned at my performance here ;-; thank you so much for liking my stuff tho, really kind of you boo

TW/Tags: unrequited love cliches // this is a continuation of (🌱🌌🔪) ←this/ A wild simp appears! // I'm sorry for using such a cliche, I just felt like it would work nice lol // some yandere tendencies with a little twist maybe // I feel like I could have done better, let me know what y'all think tho

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

"- You're pretty sus, not gonna lie." Ch - 2 [Yandere!Among Us x Reader - Short Fanfiction]:

You wake up agitated after a bad dream. It wasn't terrifying as a nightmare, just… Bad. You can't remember what it was all about now that you woke up, yet you feel like it was something bad.

(Ch - 1)

Maybe you're starting to lose it. Or maybe you just had a bad night and that's it.

Well, "night", again you're floating through space, time doesn't really apply over here, yet to keep the crew from feeling too alienated, Black and White decided to create a little routine so everyone can be occupied but also have time to relax and do something that brings joy to the crewmates.

It may be silly, but in a situation that you don't know when you'll go back home and if you're going to go back at all, is pretty terrifying. So something silly like that really helps.

You like to record vocal diaries every time you're going to bed, and sometimes when you wake up. Sometimes you just want to record your crazy dreams, others are to help you feel more energized to start the day.

To be honest, you don't want to get out of bed, it's so comfy and you just wish you could stay and enjoy the comfort of your bed for a little longer. Besides, because of your nightmare you feel like you haven't slept at all!

But of course, all good things must end.

"- WAKE UP, SLEEPY HEAD!" Red was banging on your door.

"- You're late, dumbass." You heard a voice that you could only guess was from Orange.

You look up at the clock on top of your nightstand to see that you were in fact, one hour late.

"- I-I'm coming!" You scuttle to put on your clothes. Normally you would have taken a shower first thing when you get out of your room but… Well, you're too late for that!

"- You'll miss breakfast!" Red said, apparently he was still waiting for you.

After awkwardly changing your clothes, you opened the door to find Red and Cyan waiting for you. Red had hugged you tight the moment you appeared.

"- What took you so long, sleeping beauty?" He ruffed your hair again, this time being a little more gentle, and you guess it's because of how sleepy you still are.

"- Ugh, I didn't manage to get enough sleep." You whine, even if you did sleep, somehow you still feel like you were robbed of a good peaceful night.

Maybe it was the worries clouding your mind. The fear of never going back to Earth.

"- Yeah, I know how you feel." Red said while pulling you to follow him to the cafeteria. Cyan was right behind.

"- Really?" You asked the energetic man, concerned he is also dealing with nightmares.

"- Yeah, ya know? I heard things crawling in the vents all night." He said, darkening his tone of voice when he said literally the creepiest shit ever.

"- What!?" You said, well- Practically yelled. You felt like you instantly woke up at the idea of something dangerous lurking in the ventilation. N-not that you were scared or anything!

"- Nah, I'm joking." He turned his head to look at you with a little smug face, proud of how he manages to catch you.

"- Oh, come on man! You scared me…" You elbowed him weakly. You almost had a heart attack thinking about it!

"- Ha! Don't worry okay? It was just a joke to wake you up. If you're scared so much than-"

"- You don't need to worry, [Y/N]. I can reassure you that nothing is going to hurt you." Red was interrupted when Cyan decided to butt their way into the conversation.

"- What- How are you so sure?" You were surprised by their sudden voice. They spoke so seriously, you turned around and saw how they didn't seem to be joking.

"- I… Won't let it happen." They said almost questioning it. Not only was the idea of protecting their prey absolutely ridiculous and foreign to them, but they were considering the fact that it sounded pretty obvious, why would you even question it?

"- Come on man, I was just about to say that." Red said, a little bit shyly compared to his normal attitude. He looked so down even though he was trying to keep his smile on his face.

Tension was slowly rising and you were starting to catch on to it.

"- I- Wait, are your two really that worried about me? Come on guys, don't worry about it! I can protect myself too, you know?" You said trying to place yourself in-between them, distracting them from the weird stares they kept throwing at each other.

"- Sure you can, so, let's just go to the cafeteria already." Red's entire demeanor had changed out of nowhere. You were a little scared about how off putting it is to see him… Angry?

Cyan had taken your left arm, pulling you closer to them than to Red. It wasn't too obvious to an outsider perspective, yet it did make a bit of a difference when you were pulled closer to them.

"- He is acting strange." They whispered to you, hopefully Red didn't hear it. You didn't say anything as you only looked at Cyan with a concerned expression.

The day hasn't even started yet and it was already going to be a bad day.

While this whole event was happening, Cyan was pissed at how the human Red was acting strange. Not only had he taken you in his arms for a long period of time (a pretty long hug for "friends"), Red had made sure to not include Cyan in the conversation. Hell, he even made sure to keep you near him rather than them! What was he doing, trying to piss them off? And for what purpose??

The thing that really sparked annoyance in Cyan's head was how he lies blatantly to your face, only so you could be scared so he could sound like the hero in this situation. Cyan knows Red didn't listen to them crawling the vents, Red was sleeping like a rock the entire time Cyan was wandering around the ventilation.

Cyan had entered his room to collect information, and oh boy, had they collected some information. They started to think that maybe you would be better off away from Red.

Cyan had soon caught what Red was trying to do, he was trying to court you. And what a pathetic display of courting, it's not like Red was bringing any proof of how "strong" and "protective" he could be to you.

If Cyan were in your place, they would have eaten Red's face as a sign of disapproval.

Cyan had seen you sleeping that night, they saw you having night terrors. You went from peacefully sleeping to having nightmares in only a couple of minutes, so no wonder why you didn't sleep well.

Ugh. They were probably overreacting. They shouldn't care that about the half-assed courting they just witnessed, they shouldn't even care that you had night terrors! They should only care about their next meal, yet-

Yet, they don't know why, but-

Seeing Red be so desperate for your attention is messing with their heads. If Cyan was in your place, they would have rejected his request and tried to wait for someone a lot more competent to show up.

"- So. How it's your tasks going?" Red asked you. It's been three hours after the incident, and you were now finishing your tasks when Red suddenly decided to join in.

"- I'm doing okay, how about you? Did you finish yours?" You asked, still paying attention to your own work.

"- Yeah, I did… Look, I want to say sorry for earlier. I guess I overreacted, heh." He apologized, clearly embarrassed by the fact he acted so jealous in front of you.

Red had started to get easily fascinated by your person. You're incredible in his eyes, and even if you didn't reciprocate your feelings towards him, he at least hopes you don't end up with someone like Cyan.

Someone that is a coward and a player, someone who is very aware of how you feel towards them yet keeps you in the dark just because they're "afraid" of turning into something official with you. If he knew that the whole crew would be in this terrible situation that you're in right now, Red would have made a move earlier.

He thought that Cyan had stopped trying to be with you, yet apparently not.

"- That's okay, I guess we're all losing our minds slowly." You told Red even though you were mentioning that more to yourself. You feel like you also need to calm yourself down, since the gravity of your situation was starting to settle in a lot stronger than anticipated.

"- Yeah, I agree." He was losing his cool, he had to admit that. He remembers listening to you and Cyan yesterday, he couldn't understand everything going on after he had joked about you and Cyan making out in the halls, but he remembers hearing something that sounded like Cyan scolding you for… Worrying? Really? Honestly, what monster would ever consider scolding someone like you for being worried about their safe being?!

A lunatic, clearly. Someone who doesn't deserve your worries, yet you keep going towards them! You keep being kind to someone who is a lunatic if not an absolute moron.

Oh, here we go again. He is being negative again, he needs to keep calm if he wants to keep the bad thoughts away from his mind, but it's already too late.

Every time Cyan is unfair to you, he has these bad, intrusive thoughts. How annoying.

"- I'll go see how Cyan is doing, see you later [Y/N]." He said. His entire mood has been pretty down the whole day, you noticed how his normally uplifting voice has been pretty serious the entire time.

You say goodbye as you still have many tasks to do. You wonder if you should consult White about this, everyone seems to be on edge lately and it's starting to affect your environment-

"- Oh, [Y/N]! Do you need any help?" You turned your head around at the sound of a sweet voice calling you.

"- Hey Yellow. I do need some help, but are you sure? I don't want to be a burden." You said noticing the shy girl coming forward.

" Not at all! I-I want to help! I just finished my own tasks so I thought it would be nice to be useful." She was probably feeling anxious since the last meeting, trying to search for someone to help and talk with.

You decided to let her join you, Yellow has her quirks yet- You really like her, she can be pretty comforting to be around.

While you and the crew were doing tasks, Cyan was trying to find a good opportunity for their next victim. Their hunger had started to become stronger, and because they refused to eat human food (they're very picky), they haven't been able to gain enough energy to go through the day.

They need some flesh, and it needs to be as soon as possible-

"- Hey!" Oh look, that sounds like free food.

"- Hello, Red." They said, their rough voice was raspy due to the fact that they haven't eaten in a while. Their tone didn't hide the annoyance at seeing such a low human in their presence.

"- I wanted to tell you something. Can we talk?" He said. Cyan wasn't too interested in what he had to say, yet they were intrigued to know why he couldn't just say what he wanted in the first place.

Cyan noticed that they couldn't simply get rid of him just yet. There were at least three people here. The rude Blue one, the little Lime thingy talking with the Purple guy.

"- Privately, that is." Red had looked around, giving a glare towards Blue's direction, which caused them to flinch when noticing the odd way the male was acting out of nowhere.

"- Of course." He was making their job a lot easier. He took them to an empty room, O2.

"- So, what do you want- Argh!" Red took the opportunity to pin Cyan to the wall. The sudden reaction took the much stronger creature by surprise, and although they could simply split him in half, Cyan decided to see where this was going.

"- What it's your problem?" Cyan choked, since Red was forcing his arm in their throat. Then again, they could easily get out of his grip.

"- You. You're acting weird since yesterday and-" He paused, was he really about to say it? Would he really let his jealousy get in the middle of his friendship?

"- And you have been acting weird especially with [Y/N], I heard you two yesterday." Red confessed.

"- Oh, fascinating, is that why you've been giving me bad looks every now and then?" But Cyan did not seem to care for what Red was telling them. I mean, they only been here for like- 24 hours, and even so they could see Red's feelings towards you from a mile away.

"- Are you jealous?" Cyan provoked the unstable man. Clearly the time spent inside this spaceship has been messing with his mind.

"- No! I'm- I'm being serious here, [Y/N] was concerned about your well-being yet you got mad at them!" Red's grip from Cyan's neck was slowly fading as he was starting to get more agitated.

"- And what does any of that has to do with you?" Cyan asked, pushing Red's arms away from them, which caused him to notice how irrational he was being.

"- Just- Just stay away from them, okay? I thought you didn't even-" He interrupted himself, he was sounding so… Different, from his normal self. He was sounding like an possessive freak, even he could tell.

"- … I didn't what, Red?" Cyan was starting to get bored by the human's whining. In less than 48 hours, humans have proven to be simply too emotional, letting their distrust eat them away. Even for a creature as anxious as Cyan, they can at least think twice before doing something stupid.

Something stupid like provoking a creature that could easily kill him.

"- Stay away from them." Red warned them, while deciding that the best course of action would be to leave them alone.

He wasn't acting like usual self, yet, it doesn't seem like he cares at this point. He was stuck in this hell, no one can judge him for losing his mind a little. Wouldn't you lose it as well if you were stuck in space?

Cyan however wasn't really impressed by the male's threat. They didn't even do anything for him to be so feisty, they haven't even tried anything with you for stars sake.

Maybe he was truly starting to lose it, or maybe the original Cyan did say something regarding you. Yet, it doesn't matter now.

Red is unstable, acting like a douche towards the crew, even if they didn't have anything to do with this conversation in the first place! It wouldn't take long before he turned into a burden in the eyes of the rest, just like Blue is already considered the most unlikeable asshole in this place.

Although Cyan was already pretty hungry they just lost the opportunity to both satisfy their hunger and the want to choke Red, they thought about something more interesting. There are way too many humans here, and if Red suddenly died, people would be suspicious of Cyan and you, since he is always near you two.

But what if, there was a way to get rid of Red while also satisfying their hunger?

Could they create a scene where Red is the "culprit" of someone else's death?

It doesn't sound so unlikely now that they think about it.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

P

[minamototerunii]

Terukane getting ice cream :]

Ice cream

The moon is high in the sky, Tiara has been bathed and tucked in and Kou has gotten a complimentary kiss on the head. Teru heads out into the darkness.

He takes his usual path for a little while, checking his phone for the time before turning onto a different street. A busier night street with late open food stands and adults milling about.

He searches for a familiar face and approaches when he spots it.

“Thank you for meeting me, Aoi.”

Aoi Akane is leaning against a lamppost, looking through his phone in one hand, and a plate of takoyaki in the other. He's got the toothpick hanging loosely in his mouth, and between that and his unpleasant expression, he looks a little like a delinquent.

“Aah... No hello?”

Teru tilts his head at the other, looking at him sideways with a small smile. His hands are in his pockets.

“Are you mad?”

“No-”

Akane doesn't look up for a moment, pushing himself off the post and walking to meet him.

“It's not like coming all the way out here on a school night is a big hassle or anything.”

Despite the harsh tone, he holds out the takoyaki on offering to the class president.

“You're lucky I needed a break from studying.”

Teru declines the offer politely, but pulls out money from his pocket to hand over.

“Here. I was planning on buying you something anyway as a thank you.”

Akane looks at Teru's outstretched hand, taken aback for a moment, before pushing the money back toward him.

“I can't accept that. If you're gonna insist, just buy me something else. I didn't eat dinner tonight.”

“Hah…”

He takes his wallet back out to put his money away, looking to the open stands.

“Alright then, what do you want? Also, why aren’t you eating dinner in the first place?”

Akane hums thoughtfully while he looks at his feet, just a bit of a blush coming to his face.

“Ao-chan...called me over for homework help. By the time we finished, I was behind on my reading and-

Uh- It's fine, I normally power through with an energy drink.”

Teru rolls his eyes at the lovey dovey talk coming from him. He puts a hand on the other’s shoulder and pulls him over to look for a better meal.

“That’s no good, you know. No wonder you’re so thin.”

He pokes him in the ribs with an unusual air of friendliness. This makes Akane flinch with expectation, but he is surprised that it’s painless. Akane looks back at Teru casually- as casual as he can be with his guard up

“ Ah... Yeah...

I mean...you're one to talk- Is this your nightly routine? Someone as busy as you should really try sleeping. Otherwise that smile you wear all day will start to sag.”

It doesn't sound like it, but he is voicing some genuine concern. It's not like he hasn't noticed the moments where Teru's head is on the desk in the student council room- right before he picks it up and immediately begins antagonizing him.

“Well, it hasn’t yet.”

Teru shrugs and assures with his same smile.

“I do my best to keep the neighborhood safe. If I had more time I would go into town too, where there’s stronger spirits. Besides- I had dinner already.”

He turns their attention back to the topic, pointing to a curry and yakiniku stand.

“This place isn’t bad.”

Akane finds his mouth watering as soon as he catches a whiff of the yakiniku. He just nods, taking some steps ahead- something in him doesn’t want to let the upperclassman know he’s excited.

“ ...You know- you can’t keep the whole world safe. Sometimes I think you forget you’re just a student.”

“I’m not just a student, though.”

Comes the immediate rebuttal. Teru moves quickly to order the food Akane’s drooling at before he can argue.

“I’m a promising exorcist with a long family history to uphold. If I can’t even keep one town safe, then what am I?”

Akane squints at the other with his sharp eyes, cutting through the bullshit easily.

“You’re still just a kid, stupid. Tragedy is happening all over- that’s just how life and death interact. You should narrow your scope a bit to the things that matter most.”

He stabs the last of the takoyaki with the toothpick, holding it out as a final offering

“You’ve done a pretty good job keeping your brother safe. He’s still kicking, I think that’s a pretty solid track record.”

Teru leans forward and takes the food into his mouth with a blank expression. Chewing thoughtfully and shaking his head.

“ I’m not out to make a pity party.”

He takes the finished order from the vendor with a smile, pushing it into Akane’s hands.

“I’m here to thank you. For helping me today.”

“Ah-”

Akane definitely hadn’t meant to feed him couple style like that. He frowns, focusing on the meat in his hands instead.

“That’s what this was about? I thought for sure you were gonna wrangle me into some other business with you.”

The flustered look he receives makes him remember how much he likes messing with Akane and he has to stifle a chuckle with his hand, looking away.

“Well... I was curious about something…”

“What would that be?”

(His smile grows as he watches Akane take a bite, his face lighting up only a moment at the savory barbecue before he hides any less-than-annoyed expression from him. Has Teru ever bought someone food before that wasn’t his siblings? Has he ever hung out with friends?

“Ah... I was just wondering about your powers. Are they only effective at the school? Can you use it anywhere?”

It’s another moment where Akane chews another piece contently and swallows. Should he be telling him everything-? Well...he doesn’t seem like a threat right now...

“Mmm... it’s a bit more inconvenient than you’d think. My contract only allows me to use it at school- but I kind of prefer it like that.

It means I get to be more human- it’s not my problem off school grounds.”

“Mm. Ok. So I actually can’t really wrangle you into any other business.”

Teru nods along thoughtfully.

“Can you see supernaturals outside of school?”

He follows up while tapping the edge of his glasses with a curious expression.

“...

I mean- I’m not wearing these for no reason. That’s the one thing that follows me home.”

Akane turns away, carefully straightening his glasses back into order.

“Those pink things hide in my backpack. It’s better if I just don’t see it.”

Teru laughs.

“The mokke are pesky aren’t they? They stopped following me long ago- when I started zapping them on sight in the house.”

This makes Akane pause, looking at his feet for a second, then peering up at Teru under his glasses with sharp eyes.

“ I mean... it’s not like they’re hurting anything. Isn’t that a bit intense? Especially since your sister likes them.”

It feels weird, and he’s visibly uncomfortable defending the supernaturals he claims to hate so much.Teru looks a bit tense and glances away.

“ Mm. Tiara does like them, and they’re not the worst nuisance, but... If my grandparents visited, and there were stray spirits in the apartment... They would not approve.”

He says it with a sharpness. It carries a heavy weight.

“No wonder you’re uptight.

You’re high ranking and still under that kind of scrutiny?

Yikes.”

Akane scoffs as he leads them to a bench- strategically next to an ice cream stand- and sits down to finish his meal.

“Must be hard.”

Teru follows, hesitating for a moment before sitting down, like he can’t relax.

“Of course they’re watching me. I have my siblings with me, and they are also prospective exorcists. I can’t fuck up.”

He sighs and looks up at the sky, watching the distant twinkling stars cloud over. The vulgar language catches Akane off guard for a moment though, but he forgoes the snark this time.

“...Hey-

Don’t take this the wrong way but…

Do you have any friends?”

The blonde’s face scrunches for a moment in offense, but it doesn’t last as he notices the lack of humor in Akane. His lips press together.

“Um... No. Not really. I mean, I have classmates and... I have you?”

...Really-?”

The underclassman squints at him, not expected to fall into that category by any means. “So...you’re trying to do this exorcist responsibility, raise your siblings, and uphold your family’s name-”

He starts to talk with his hands, gesturing with more emphasis on each burden

“ AND you’re pushing away the only people that can really help you- on top of that you have NO social life or means of venting.”

He frowns, brow furrowing in concern and harsh judgement.

“You told me this wasn’t a pity party, but you’re making it hard not to be. I give you a year TOPS before you snap entirely.”

“That’s not- I mean. I’ve been fine for this long. I don’t see why that would change. It’s not like I have time to make friends.”

Teru has gotten defensive, fingers tapping against his knees as his jaw reddens.

“Yeah, but do you really want to burn out at the ripe age of 18 years?”

Akane leans forward, resting his chin in his hand and looking up at the other boy.

“Your current outlet is harassing me at school, but if that's all you have...

I don't know. That must be lonely, that's all.”

They sit in silence for a little while, and Akane keeps to himself as he thinks. Finally, he stands-

“Hold on.”

He walks a little bit over, and when he returns, it's with an ice cream cone in each hand. He holds out one to the older boy.

“It's chocolate raspberry- I don't know if you like that at all. But don't eat it if you don't want it. It's whatever.”

Teru takes it with both hands, looking down at it with shameful redness creeping up his cheeks. He doesn’t know how to respond, so he sits quietly, venturing to try a bite of the treat. It’s one of the first times Akane has seen him speechless. When he finally says something, it’s subdued. “It’s good.”

“Yeah…”

Akane tries not to look at him too much- but it's unfamiliar seeing him without his aura of overwhelming power. He...almost feels bad about it.

“...Raspberry is my favorite.

...What's yours?

Favorite flavor, I mean.”

“Chocolate.”

Teru smiles again, some of the ice cream on the tip of his nose.

“Then this isn't half bad for you, huh?”

Akane finds himself smiling back despite it all, though he keeps his gaze down to hide it.

“...What other kinds of things do you like?

Do you have any actual hobbies?”

Maybe this is good for him... both of them really- Talking like friends.

Teru is looking over at him again, his eyes piercing even when his expression is soft.

“Hobbies…”

He definitely has to think about it for a moment.

“I like to read and... Sing.”

“Singing, huh? Have you ever gone out for karaoke?”

Akane keeps glancing back at Teru, feeling antsy under his scrutiny- even though this is a different face than he normally makes.

“You'd probably enjoy it…”

Teru scratches behind his own ear, looking away towards the people on the street.

“ Ha... No, I haven’t.”

Something feels shy between them, and he finds himself having a hell of a time continuing to be so genuine, but... it still feels nice to talk.

“What about you?”

“Mm...I've had a lot of hobbies.”

It doesn't require much explanation- of course the upperclassman knows of his efforts to impress his childhood friend. He takes a deeper breath, speaking more in a mumble as embarrassment rises in his chest.

“ ...I do really like doing miniature kits...

I started that because Ao-chan was interested, but I kept it up…”

Teru tilts his head, leaning a bit towards him with interest.

“Miniature kits...? Like.... those tiny house things?”

He mimics tweezers. He gets a big smile suddenly.

“Wow! That’s so cute.”

“Ah- You don't have to call it cute…”

He feels his cheeks redden a bit, and he quickly stuffs a bite of ice cream in his mouth, wincing at the chill.

“... Mmm. I'm working on...a teahouse right now…”

Teru catches on to his blush quickly, bumping him a bit with his shoulder. He isn’t going to let him out of this.

“ A tea house? Do you have any pictures?”

“...”

Akane bites his lip, sitting for a moment with his shoulders hunched forward. It's not like...it's a secret- but it's not something he talks about either. His hand slowly retrieves his phone from his pocket, and in a moment he's holding out a picture of a recently finished greenhouse. It's decorated with an abundance of intricately crafted flowers and gardening tools, and though the picture isn't focused on it, Teru can see the small figure of a certain dark haired girl standing in the midst of it.

“I just...finished this a bit ago. It's still kind of messy- the flowers were hard because there were so many kinds. So don't look too closely.”

Teru spends a long and silent moment inspecting the picture. His hand has reached out to steady the phone and pull it closer to himself, over Akane’s hand.

“...

This is…

Really amazing! You made all of it by hand?”

He points to one of the gardening tools in the picture.

“How big is that?”

Akane stiffens under the touch for a moment- but only a moment as he focuses on his handiwork instead.

“That-? Uh... About a centimeter, give or take. It was the length of my pinky nail.”

Teru’s eyes are wide and interested.

“ Wow! Really? That’s crazy!”

He laughs in delight, but sombers slightly.

“...Akane-san....Didn’t like this?”

“I... haven't shown her this one.”

Akane can't contain himself now, face heating up more and more.

“I showed her the first one I made- It was supposed to be the sakura trees at the spring entrance ceremony…”

He looks a little bummed out, his voice becoming tense and flustered.

“She liked the details but she told me ‘Wow, Akane-kun, it's like you captured me forever here. Kinda creepy~☆’

WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY? So now I make little worlds for tiny Ao-chan and I can't show her any of it!!!”

“Ah…”

Teru watches the other spiral, nodding along with brows upturned.

“That’s rough... But I mean, I’m sure there’s lots of other people who would like this sort of thing. I think it’s pretty cool. You should post it online or something.”

He tilts his head with a little encouraging smile. It’s still hard to tell where his mask smiles end and real ones begin, but he sounds pretty honest.

“...You think so?

I've never thought about sharing it…”

Akane looks back up, finally regaining composure. Regrettably, there's still pink to his cheeks.

“...Thanks.”

“Yeah- No problem.”

He looks away, his cone gone now.

“ ...

Anyway- I should get going. I still have a lot of ground to cover.”

He stands from the bench with a sinking in his chest, feeling awkward again.

“Ah, hey- hold on.”

Akane reaches out, grabbing Teru's sleeve. He looks up at him with strain, having spoken before thinking.

“...You... can call me out here like this again. I don't mind.

I-if you buy me food again, I mean.”

Teru stares back at him for a beat, looking surprised. His expression softens again into a smile though.

“Sure thing.”

He steps out of his grasp with a little wave.

“See you tomorrow, Akane.”

“See you-”

Akane waves back, sitting for a while longer to reflect on it all- how involved he should actually be...how involved he WANTS to be.

...Whatever- he still has studying to do anyway.

This was an adapted roleplay between me and @nene-chanblog ^^ Hope you enjoyed! <3

[imbeccable-writes]

So I know we all want Yakko to go unhinged on Salazar, but how do you think he (and maybe Wakko too) would react if he found out Dot’s matrons weren’t so nice to her while she was in their care? :}

this got a little long lmao, so I'm gonna put it under a read more.

So here's the thing. with the way I'm writing dot, she probably wouldn't say anything about where she'd stayed. Like, she'd say it was in Burbank and maybe she'd joke about the food being horrid or something, but she wouldn't go into the details about just how horribly she was abused. She learned early on that if she was in any way an "inconvenience", then everyone she ever loved would abandon her and hate her, and even though she has evidence to the contrary (Marin being the prime example, but also the other kids), it's hard to unlearn internalized worthlessness.

And the thing is, Dot doesn't actually know if Yakko and Wakko love her. Of course WE know, being the writer and readers, but she hasn't seen them in years. She tells herself they love her because that's the only thing that's keeping her going, but there's a difference between saying and believing. Deep down, for a good part of her life, Dot wasn't sure they cared about her at all. And even once they're together again, she isn't sure if they love HER or the IDEA of her. And she's terrified of what would happen if the the latter were true.

All this to say, that it would take a lot to get it out of Dot anything that happened to her at the orphanage. Yakko and Wakko would be worried about her, because it seemed like she's sort of walking on eggshells (metaphorically) around them, but it's hard for them to bring stuff up either, because none of them really know how to interact with one another. It's been so long, and only one of them really remembers the Before Times, and even then it's still blurry. Maybe she's just like this. Maybe it's just nerves. Maybe it'll pass.

It doesn't, of course, because for those first few months to a year, she's just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm not quite sure what the catalyst would be when Dot finally tells them about what happened, but I do know Yakko would be filled with rage and Wakko would be genuinely surprised (bc in his experience all matrons are so nice and welcoming) and also angry (bc how dare they hurt his darling little sister so? he's gonna throw hands). And they'd probably both immediately start making plans to find and drive Leslie and Deb bat shit insane, and Dot would just be so... confused.

Because like, despite her better judgement, she finally let herself vent and cry about her horrible childhood, half of her tears due to the abuse and half of her tears due to the total and utter conviction that she was going to lose the last of her family after this because she couldn't keep herself happy enough, couldn't keep in the hurt and pain and tears... and then it just didn't happen. Yakko and Wakko had listened patiently, and had indeed grown more and more visibly angry and emotional the more she talked, but it wasn't directed at her. on the contrary, it was at the people who hurt her. They wanted to track those people down, wanted to make them pay for hurting her, and as much as she wanted that, she didn't understand.

Yakko would probably notice her flabbergasted expression and ask about it, and she'd tentatively ask, "You're not... mad?"

and he's like, "Uhhhhh, sister sib, I think you'll find I'm pretty darn pissed"

and she's like, "No I meant- I meant at me."

And Yakko would be stunned silent for a moment or two, having not expected that, before he'd blurt, "Of course not, no! Why would we be?"

"Because!" and she gestures in the space between the three of them like it held all the answers to her problems. "Because I broke! Because I- I let you know I was hurting, I let you see me crying. Why arent- Why aren't you mad at me?" And she's genuinely confused and it's making her tear up again - everything makes her tear up lately, she's just so sensitive, what's wrong with her -

"Dot," Wakko said suddenly, and she looked to him. "We aren't- it's not your fault that that happened to you."

Dot's breath caught in her throat.

"Yeah, it-" Yakko cut in, "It's all your guardians' fault. They were supposed to take care of you and they did a pretty horrible job of it." Dot couldn't stop trembling. "We're not mad at you. You did the one thing we wanted you to do, and that was to trust us with the stuff that hurts. We're here for you, always. We- We love you."

"So much," Wakko added, and it was the last straw.

Dot burst into tears again and launched herself at her brothers. They caught her and held her tightly between them, making sure she knew that they weren't going anywhere.

And as for Dot, well... she hurt, so so much, but for once her tears didn't feel horrible and painful. She cried and cried and cried, but it was in relief, in gratitude, because a weight had just lifted off of her shoulders, because they loved her. Her brothers loved her and herself alone, not some picturesque sister they barely remembered, but just her. They didn't pull away when her tears hit their fur - on the contrary, they seemed to hold her impossibly closer the more her tears fell.

And she couldn't seem to stop, either. Now that she knew it was okay, it seemed all the tears she'd held back over the years had come flooding back, pouring from the never ending stream of her eyes. But that was okay too. Yakko and Wakko weren't going anywhere, and for once, she let herself believe that.

They both let themselves cry a little too, over the horrible thing that'd been done to their sister. They listened to her cries and sobs, and wished with all their might that this hug could just... take it all away. All the hurt, all the pain... But of course that wasn't realistic.

There was something they could do, however.

Yakko and Wakko met eyes over Dot's head and saw a similar fire of fury and grief swimming in the other's. They were going to track down Dot's old guardians if it killed them, and would definitely change the rating of the main fic once they did.

Such violence should be kept to an Explicit rating.

-

OOP I ENDED UP WRITING A DRABBLE LMAO. my bad.

thanks for the ask though, gabby! I had fun with this

[ultimate-distaster-material]

-Saiouma Oneshots- Kindergarten Teacher! Kokichi x Parent! Shuichi

>Quick Disclaimer< In this story, Monaca is nice- Her legs are actually disabled as well. I tried to mention everyone who is in the actual story's POVS. The adults are 22 whereas the kids are 5. Kirigiri and Shuichi are childhood friends too.

This story is very long, it was made to show my appreciation for all of the support. Sorry it took so long for me to update.

!TW!

Family Issues

Mentions Trauma

Mentions Dead Bodies

kIsSinG (Ok I'll stop)

KOKICHI POV

“So, Nagisa. I heard you’re getting a new caretaker?”

I looked at Nagisa, pitying the poor boy. He never had good parents. They would always force the youngling to work, days over days, sometimes hitting him to help him stay awake. That’s his reason for being very smart at a young age.

I would always stay here with him in the afternoon, occupying him so he doesn’t have to go back home.

“Mhm! I heard he’s a boy, I hope he’s nice!”

I smiled at the small boy. Even with all the despair he has been through during his life, he still had a glimpse of hope resting in his heart. I admired him for this, he was very strong for pulling through all the drama, especially as a child.

“Y’know, I’m gonna miss going here when I grow up. Will I ever see you again?”

“I mean, I could probably get in contact with your new caretaker, and could visit you once in a while…”

“I don’t wanna leave this place…”

I comforted him as his tears threatened to fall from his eyes, tracing random designs on his back, listening to his troubles. I suddenly heard a knock on the door. I energetically got up from my seat, Nagisa following close behind me, and then opened the door.

There was a man with teal blue hair and a detective uniform standing at the door. He looked kinda sexy-

“Hello, Mr. Detective~ You here for something?”

He stared at me before handing me a few slips of paper. Adoption papers? Wha-

“Who are you?”

Nagisa was a little scared, as he was a detective. The poor boy probably thought that the man was here for something serious.

I hushed Nagisa as I pulled him infront of me, giving him a good view of the man.

“My apologies…I’m Shuichi Saihara. Nice to meet you.”

I nodded at him and decided to introduce Nagisa and myself/

“I’m Kokichi Ouma, and this is Nagisa. Judging by the adoption papers, I’m guessing you’re here for Nagisa?”

He nodded and shook the hand I held out to him. He had such a calming voice…

“Are you mean?”

“I promise I’m no-“

“You smell like coffee.

“Wha-“

“Nagisa, it’s not ok to interrupt people y’know.”

Nagisa muttered a small ‘sorry’ to me and the man before getting his bag. He peered up at me with teary eyes. I could tell he didn’t want to go with a new parent, due to trust issues. I sighed and pat him on the head.

“You better take care of him.”

Shuichi smiled at me, reassuring that everything was going to be fine. I held out my phone with my contacts open.

“Phone number?”

I asked him as he took my phone (and ran off with it) and he handed me his, and we both entered each other’s phone number. Nagisa smiled as I showed him my phone, his eyes gleaming with hope and joy. I couldn’t help but smile back at him. Shuichi even grinned at us placing his hands gently on Nagisa’s shoulder. I waved them goodbye as they waved back, Nagisa ranting to Shuichi about me. I’m glad I was able to make him happy. I walked around the small room, arranging everything back into its normal places and counting all the items to see if they were still there. 10 paint brushes, 2 art easels, 20 pencils, 5 paint palettes, 40 books and 7 whiteboard markers. Looks like I’m running low on markers, I’ll grab some in the morning. I smiled and locked the door behind me. I strolled down the street under the glowing sky, showing colours of orange, yellow, red, and peach. I sat calmly at the bus stop, taking off my painting apron and stuffing it into my bag neatly. I placed earplugs into my ears and started playing my favourite playlist.

Soon the bus arrived, squeaking its brakes as it parked into the bus stop. I sighed and planted my feet onto the ground as boarded the bus. It didn’t take long to get home.

||Time Skip Cuz Lazy||

I jingled my keys as I brought them out of my pocket, slotting them into the lock and opening the doors to the kindergarten. I walked in, turning on the fans by a little, and the lights. I began to write whatever was happening onto the big whiteboard and restocked my pens. I smiled as children and parent sprawled into the room, yet keeping an eye out for Nagisa. If he had any new scars or bruises, or darker eyebags, Shuichi won’t be waking up the next day. I waited about five minutes, everyone was here, but the two people I had been waiting for.

Suddenly, the doors swung open, and I spotted Shuichi giving the small child a piggy-back ride. I smiled as they both grinned back at me, Nagisa climbing off the adults back and running over to me.

“Kokichi! You won’t believe it! He let me use his magnifying glass and we went to the park. He even pushed me on the swing! I love my new dad!”

I grinned wider, glad Shuichi was giving him a good treatment. He even said he loved him.

“That’s great Nagisa! I’m grateful that Shuichi has been treating you right.”

Shuichi lovingly hugged Nagisa.

“I better go, or I’ll be late for work! Bye, have a good day you two! I love both of you!”

The young boy I waved goodbye as the detective briskly walked out of the kindergarten building, waving us goodbye, blushing. Wait, he loved both of us…?

||POV Change||

SHUICHI POV

I walked out the door, blushing crazily. I can’t believe I said that. I’m so embarrassed…

I hopped into the car, driving down to the detective agency. When I had first met Kokichi, I thought he looked a little cute, but I just ignored my thoughts. I’ll just tell him I was talking Nagisa and his non-existent imaginary friend…yeah I’ll just do that.

I arrived at the agency, closing the door gently behind me and taking in a deep breath. The aroma of coffee wafted around the area. No wonder I smelt like coffee…According to Nagisa anyways.

“Good morning Mr. Saihara. You looked like you’ve slept well!”

My partner, detective Kirigiri. I grinned at her, starting to tell her about Nagisa. She nodded at me while I spoke, thankful that I finally had something to cheer me up. I had been so busy with work lately that I was so tired to even show much emotion.

“So, Shuichi. We have a new case to work on.”

“Hm? What’s it about?”

“Just a new murder case, the usual.”

I nodded at her getting my file reports organized and ready. She gave me some evidence, suspect reports, reports of the victim and the time and place of the murder.

“It seemed to be planned too…”

I muttered as she passed over a small picture which showed the room.

“Huh?”

I pointed at the picture, spotting a nearly invisible ‘escape route plan’ peeking out of the screen. You could only see half of it though.

“That’s new…”

“Wait…How did you know this wasn’t there? Weren’t you at the crime scene?”

“It was a photo in the victims camera roll. You were correct, I was there, but it seems like the killer needed this to escape.”

“That makes sense.”

“So, the killer must’ve either been scared they would mess up, has a bad memory or had minimum time to figure this out…”

She agreed with me and pointed to the wall again, pointing back to the photo.

“There seems to be something white in the vents that we never checked.”

She stated bluntly while narrowing her eyes to get a better look.

“You’re right! Why didn’t you check the vents though…?”

“Rats.”

“Wha-“

I shrugged it off and looked back at Kyoko, then the picture again. She smirked at me and placed a hand on my shoulder.

“You wanna check it out, don’t you.”

“Kinda-“

“Well, what are you waiting for?”

I followed her out of the building, and we entered the car park, halting to a stop right infront of a shining, neon purple motorcycle. It gleamed in the sunlight and Kyoko continued to smirk at me.

“Chickening out?”

“N-No..”

“Good.”

She grabbed a helmet off the dark purple handlebars and gave it to me, claiming to have a spare one in her bag that she could wear. Which she did.

She hopped onto the motorcycle, gesturing for me to do the same. I gulped and lifted my leg over the seat and sat down, trembling.

“Hold on tight!”

I didn’t hesitate to do exactly as she told me. She revved the engine, and we took off down the road, her purple hair flowing viciously in the wind. I was petrified. We were going veryfast. I gulped as I felt the wind blow in my face. I rested my chin on Kirigiri’s shoulder, avoiding her purple hair flowing into my face as we raced around the city. The city lights were blurred, and people looked like smudge marks. I peered down at the road, barely able to adjust to the distorted white line and concrete. I felt a sickening dizziness, and my head just couldn’t keep up with my blurry surroundings. Yet, I felt like I was in heaven. The glorious wind blowing in my face, the soothing noises of the motorcycle engine, and the feel of Kyoko’s warmth. I closed my eyes, loosing touch with everything around me. I was in my own little world. That was, until I sensed the motorcycle slow to a halt and Kyoko’s small weight lift off the motorcycle. But since I was laying on her, she lifted me up too without realizing, and my body went tumbling forward, Kyoko’s doing the same.

“Sorry…”

I sighed and apologized, staring at the ground. She arose from the ground, dusting off her uniform and patting me delicately on my back.

“No worries, Saihara-Kun. Just be careful next time.”

I nodded as we barged into the murder scene, nobody being there.

“Watch out. We cannot predict anything. Expect the unexpected.”

I remembered her wise words and examined the room, Kirigiri assisting me by lifting me up, since I weighed less, and I unscrewed the vents to see a rat. Great. I sneakily snatched the paper and Kyoko lowered me back down to the ground, peering over my shoulder to see if anything useful was written on the small piece of white paper. It read,

Sorry, my dear friend.

“So, the victim was the culprit’s friend….

“Seems so.”

“Wait, why wasn’t it near the victim then?”

“When we arrived, the fan was on, making it completely possible to blow into the vents, in which the paper could slip through, and the rats could’ve possibly taken it.”

I nodded to show my agreement and we inspected the room a little longer. I spotted her typing on her phone a few moments later, sighing.

“Saihara-Kun.”

“Y-Yes?”

“Are you gonna leave your kid at kindergarten or…”

Shuichi blankly stared down at his wrist, reading the time.

2:12

Nagisa’s kindergarten ended at 2:00. He was over the other side of the city. He would be very late, as they had no car.

“Take my motorcycle. I want to stay a bit longer anyways.”

“Really? Thank you Kirigiri-San!”

I rushed out of the building, grabbing a sleek blue helmet and boarded the motorcycle. The wheels screeched as I raced across the city, my hair spasming in the wind. The motorbike’s wheels whirred as they rolled along the road, forcing the motorbike to drive faster. My hands gripped the handlebars incredibly tight, fearing the vehicle would stir out of control if I didn’t have power over the handlebars.

There it was. The kindergarten. I zoomed towards it, halting to a stop in the parking lot. I rushed inside, panting heavily as Kokichi and Nagisa were staring at me. The small, blue-haired boy ran over, enveloping me in a tight hug. I lovingly hugged back, patting his back in the process.

“Where were you? Parents shouldn’t be late, y’know.”

I gulped and peered up at the kindergarten teacher, mentally scolding myself. I knew I shouldn’t have been late. If it wasn’t for my partner, I would’ve left Nagisa there until I suddenly realized that he wasn’t anywhere nearby.

“Kokichi, don’t blame Dad! He had a really important case today!”

“Alright, just tell me next time.”

I muttered a sorry, and nodded, showing my understanding. The kindergarten teacher walked up to me, swiftly patting Nagisa’s head for a short period of time, then shifted to face me. I gulped, fearing I would get in trouble for not being a ‘good parent’.

“Why’d you call both of us cute.”

“I don’t understand what you’re talking about-“

“Why.”

I looked to the side, shivering a little and sighing. I soon peered back at him.

“Look..”

My ahoge resembled a deflated balloon. It was deformed, bent at every inch.

“It just slipped out, okay…?”

He looked at me, unamused, rolling his eyes and sighing.

“Totally…”

“Well, Nagisa and I have to go…”

“Alrighty! See you Nagisa!”

“What about me-“

“What about you?”

I rolled my eyes as I watched Kokichi ruffle Nagisa’s hair. He looked down at the boy expectantly.

“Nagisa has wanted to ask you something, but he’s clearly too shy…”

He nudged Nagisa knowingly, as the small boy stuttered out words.

“Well…I was wondering if some of my friends could have a sleepover…I’ve never had one, and…”

There was an awkward silence as my mind scanned over what I had planned next week. Nothing.

“Or not! T-That’s fine t-too!”

He looked sad and embarrassed at the same time, fiddling uneasily with his fingers, making eye contact with the ground.

“No, its fine! I was just trying to remember if I had anything scheduled next week…We can have one!”

Nagisa’s eye lit up, sparkles glimmering in his blue orbs. He shined so brightly as he bounced around the room excitedly. Then I realized something.

“Wait-“

“What?”

Kokichi looked up at me, clearly waiting for an answer.

“How am I gonna get Kyoko’s motorbike back to her-“

“You drove a motorcycle.”

“Yes-“

Kokichi jingled the keys on his short fingers, swaying them from side to side. He stared into my eyes, smiling.

“Want a ride then? I could pack the motorbike in the back of my car and drop it of to ‘whatever her name is’.”

“Kirigiri.”

“Right.”

The three of us strolled out of the kindergarten, after Kokichi had tidied up all the mess and checked up on everything, locking the doors behind us as we exited the building. Hopping into the car, we all drove off down the road, me directing the other adult towards the crime scene. Leaving the car, I unpacked the motorbike as Kokichi and Nagisa followed me in. I shifted to look back at the others.

“Uhm, I don’t think Nagisa should see this…”

“Why?”

I leaned into Kokichi’s ear and whispered to him.

“Dead body.”

He bobbed his head to show his agreement, Nagisa looking back and forth at us, confused. He held an arm infront of Nagisa, restricting him from going further, as I entered the building.

||POV CHANGE||

NAGISA POV

I watched as Dad entered the house, a bit worried. Why couldn’t I go in there? I decided to ask Kokichi.

“Why can’t I go in? What’s even in there?”

“Something you don’t want to see.”

I gave him a look of uncertainty, waiting for Dad to come back. I was a little worried, so I decided to start a conversation.

“I think you like Dad, am I right?”

“He seems pretty nice, probably would be a good friend.”

“No, you like Dad in that way. Not friendship, love.”

His eyes widened as he blushed furiously.

“W-Why would you t-think that, N-Nagisa?”

“So, you do like him.”

“N-No! I don’t!”

I rolled my eyes a little. It was so obvious. The whole time Kokichi and I were waiting for Dad, he was talking about him. Literally the whole time. I remember our conversation, word for word.

||Flashback||

“Alright! Time to go everyone!”

Kokichi opened the doors, the young children flooding out of the kindergarten. He sighed as he looked around after all the young kids were safely returned to their parents.

“Nagisa, where’s Shuichi?”

“He told me he was investigating today, apparently it was really serious!”

“Right…”

Kokichi sat on one of the chairs, relaxing his legs and leaning against the table. I did the same, and looked at him.

“Y’know, Shuichi is kinda hot.”

“Wha-“

“His hair is pretty, don’t you think?”

All I could do is agree. Kokichi peered down at his watch. 2:10. He sighed.

“I’m just going to text him-“

“Don’t.”

“Why not?”

“He never answers when he’s at work…”

Kokichi fiddled the phone in his hands, clearly annoyed. Probably wanted to see Shuichi. Who knows?

“I know someone who does answer their phone though.”

He peered at me and handed me his phone. I cheerfully took it and tried to memorize their number. Typing it in, I quickly added the number to Kokichi’s contacts and texted the person. I had seen their number when Shuichi and Kokichi exchanged phone numbers.

‘Hello, do you know Shuichi Saihara by any chance? If so, do you know where he is?’

‘Yes, Shuichi is my work partner at the detective agency. We are currently investigating together. Who is this?’

‘This is Nagisa, his adoptive son. I’m texting him on my kindergarten teacher’s phone. I just wanted to tell him that kindergarten ended 12 minutes ago.’

‘Thank you Nagisa. I will have Shuichi know. He sure is forgetful.’

‘Thank you! Can I please know your name?’

‘Kyoko. Kyoko Kirigiri.’

‘Wait, how do you know my number?’

‘I memorized it when I saw Shuichi and my teacher exchange numbers. Sorry if that’s creepy or anything…’

‘It’s fine. I have to go now. Goodbye Nagisa!’

‘Bye!’

I turned off the phone, the glowing screen fading into pitch black darkness. I peered at Kokichi, telling him that Shuichi should be here soon.

||Present Time||

We were still waiting for Shuichi when I spotted Kyoko and himself exit the huge building. Kyoko stared at me, grinning slightly.

“Are you Nagisa?”

I nodded as she walked up to me, ruffling my hair playfully, then glaring at Shuichi. I could see him gulp and look away.

“And you are…?”

“I’m Kokichi, Nagisa’s teacher.”

“Nice to meet you.”

They shook hands, smiling at each other joyfully.

||POV CHANGE||

KIRIGIRI POV

I’m a little disappointed in Shuichi if I’m being honest.

Leaving your kid who’s in kindergarten with his teacher?

I mean, me and Shuichi have known each other since we were kids and happened to get into the same agency. I know Shuichi. He is forgetful, but not this forgetful. I mentally facepalmed at his previous actions and shook hands with Kokichi.

Nagisa and Kokichi look like they have a close relationship.

I disconnected our hands, watching as Kokichi signalled for Shuichi to enter the car. The two closed the doors behind them, waiting for Nagisa to say goodbye. The younglings hand reached for the door handle, struggling to open the car door. I went to assist him, just to realise it was locked. Shuichi and Kokichi strained to unlock the doors from the inside.

How did this even happen-

“D-Dad!”

Nagisa panicked as he saw the two people he seemed to be the closest to stuck inside the black and white car. I sighed as I saw the trapped kindergarten teacher flirt with the parent. Shuichi literally looked like his parents were a combination of a tomato and strawberry. I watched them as they continued to flirt together. I mentally facepalmed and refocused on the incident infront of me.

I saw Nagisa’s confused face as he walked up to peer through the window, prying into their business. I gently tapped the window, catching their attention.

“Are you two lovebirds done?”

I yelled from the other side of the window. They both were facing me, furiously blushing. In full honesty, they look like they dyed their faces bright pink.

“I’m going to break the window- “

“NAGISA DON’T- “

Too late. Nagisa had grabbed a rock off the ground and pounded it against the window.

“Really- “

“Sorry I was panicking…”

“It’s fine…”

“I guess we’re driving back with a broken window.”

“I guess they call you a detective for a reason!”

Kokichi laughed at his own joke as Shuichi giggled as well. It was so obvious they liked each other, they were so blind and dense. I could tell they liked each other, yet they were uncertain the other loved them back. I sighed and grabbed my purple helmet, putting the blue one Shuichi used in my sleek black bag.

“I’ll be going now.”

I waved goodbye as I hopped onto the motorbike, smiling as my purple streaks of hair flowed relaxingly behind me as I sped down the road. Out of the corner of my eyes. I could see the Kokichi pull Shuichi into a quick kiss through the car’s windscreen, Nagisa just staring in horror. Poor innocent thing.

-BONUS SCENE-

||TIME SKIP||

||W.O.H SLEEPOVER PLANNING||

||3RD PERSON||

“Hey Nagisa…Hey Jataro…I was thinking, I really want to get away from my parents…Do you know anything I could do?”

Kotoko raised a finger to her chin, in deep thought, looking a little depressed. Jataro looked sad as well.

“I just want to get away from everyone…”

Nagisa peered down, sad from seeing his friends loose hope. Monaca wheeled herself over to join our conversation.

“I just want someone to notice me…”

Masaru sat on the ground soon after, despairful.

“I just want to have a peaceful household…”

Nagisa peered down at the ground, wanting to encourage his friends to be joyful. Sure, he had trauma as well, but there is still happiness. He just began to spit out words of reassurance to his small group of friends.

“Jataro, why would you want to disappear from everyone? We are all here. We want you to be here. What’s that point in leaving everyone if everyone needs you here?”

He peered up at Nagisa, who was staring at him, the boy’s wise words causing a smile to form on his face.

“Monaca, we are your friends We notice you. Stop acting like nobody does, because if you haven’t already guessed, you are our friend. We notice you. Why would I be talking to you if I didn’t know you were here?”

She smiled at the blue haired boy, watching as some of the other kindergarten teachers came over. Komaru, Toko and Nagito stood there, watching their students, along with Kokichi who the whole time had secretly been there, unnoticed.

“Masaru! Kotoko! I think I have a solution to your problems!”

Nagisa shouted as the teachers watched, inspired by the boy’s acts of hope. Nagito especially. Toko had to slap a hand over his mouth so they wouldn’t interrupt the kids. Nagisa thought of the time where he was talking to Kirigiri while saying his goodbyes. She had told him these exact words.

“Shuichi has been so happy since he adopted you, y’know. I’ve been thinking about what my future would be like if I had a child. Say, did you know any that need a better home? I do want more than one though…”

“There is a solution I might have, but I need to check. Also, my Dad agreed on the idea to have a sleepover!”

“Sounds great!”

Everyone cheered in unison as they started planning what they would do, also deciding what snacks to bring. Monaca was spinning in her wheelchair in excitement, Masaru pushing her around in circles while Jataro inspired them to continue. Kotoko and Nagisa were drawing each other with crayons, Kokichi sitting on the other side of the table, spreading conversations.

Soon enough, it was time to go home. They all wished each other goodbye, as Kokichi drove Nagisa back to their house. They parked in the driveway, to see Shuichi waiting for them on their front porch.

“Good afternoon you two! How was your day?”

Kokichi ruffled Nagisa’s hair as he explained his day to Shuichi, also asking if he could tell Kirigiri about what I had found out.

“Ah- Sorry, Kyoko wants to see me. I will tell her the news as well Nagisa.”

“Bye!”

The small boy and Kokichi cheered and waved in unison, watching as Shuichi peered back at them, about to leave.

“Bye! I love both of you. And this time, I mean it.”

[temptingempress]

The Mafia's Princess J.hs

Summary: "I can't loose you because if I loose you I loose myself. You're all I have left." she begged him to put the gun down. Falling onto her bloody knees in the mud. Helicopters surrounded them and the sirens were getting closer and closer but k she could think about was him. The man whom she fell in love with, standing in front of them. Gun pointed towards his head.

This is a HoseokxOc story but feel free to think of her as y/n. I just didn't want to call her y/n so I used my own character that you'll see in a lot of my stories but her mood and temperment will change in each story.

Warning: Mention of smut, drug use, mafia lord, weapons, cursing, scary dogs lol, it's basically for mature people yall.

🥀

Areum's p.o.v

My eyes fluttered open as my vision slowly started to restore. All I saw was a old ceiling fan slowly whipping around and the ugly tan popcorn ceiling. I only heard faint sounds as if something was coming closer. It was too early to worry about it. I groaned turning my body to the side just to see that he wasn't there. My fingers reached towards where he was lying. It was still warm, smiling to myself I start to remember the warmth he gave me last night. A night full of kisses, orgasms, and love. Or what I think is love. I've never really knew but all I know is that he makes me feel a type a way. Whenever I'm near him it's like he has the power to make my heart run miles just by his touch.

I sigh as I sat myself up from the screaky flat bed. What do you expect from a cheap motel that was from the middle of no where? I've gotten used to it. As long as I'm with-

There he was. Shirtless, his tattoos revealed all around his body. He was looking through the blinds, but no sunlight was coming in. What time was it anyways? I looked besides me on the table clock.

2:30 A.M.

I raise my brow, clueless on why I woke up so late but even more clueless why Hoseok was up so late. Maybe it was the drugs? But they didn't have that affect on me as much and usually Hoseok stays in bed with me till morning. "Hoseok..." I mumble. My voice still grogy from sleepiness. "What are you doing up so-"

"You need to leave. Now." he turns to me. His vibrant attitude suddenly disappeared into a more urgent one. He quickly retrieves my luggage, packing my clothes and throwing me a large t shirt to wear since I was only in my undergarments. "What? What's going on?" I became more alert at his words. Did he not want me anymore?

The sound I didn't hear before I could hear clearly now. Police sirens, a ton of them. My eyes widened as I quickly through on the t shirt. Jumping out of bed I go towards the windows to see what's actual happening but Hoseok prevents me with his hand wrapping around my wrist. He spoke again, this time more stern "I said leave."

I look at him, letting out a slightly irritated laugh. "What? No. I'm not leaving you alone here." I retrieve my wrist and looked out the window. The cops were surrounding the building. There was no way they could outrun them. They had guns, dogs, and a lot of freaking muscle. It was a good thing that there were a lot of rooms in this damn motel. It would take them some time to find us since we checked in on our phones. So no one could say they've spotted us. "We have to think."

"Areum, it's over. You need to get out of here!" he raised his voice but I quickly covered his mouth. Shaking my head as I shushed him. "I'm not going to throw you away so easily." I mumbled. He made my stomach churn at his words. It's not over yet, it can't be.

We then heard the sound of panting and patting on the floor. Shit, dogs. They must've smelled the drugs so they started to bark right at our door. Hoseok sighed loudly and grabbed my hand.

Hoseok's P. O. V

Oh how she could be so damn stubborn. Taking a firm hold of her right hand I grabbed a mini gun in my suite case just in case. Areum glared at me as I pulled it out with my other hand. She didn't like guns and I promised her I wouldn't bring it along with me but you never know what you could get into in this line of work. I'm a mafia lord and she's-

My line of thought got cut off by the loud stomps coming towards our door. I looked around and found a large vent on the ceiling. Areum looked at me and then she finally got the hint. Letting fo of her hand I ran towards my luggage grabbed a knife I stored in there as well

"are you serious!" Areum loudly whispered towards me.

I didn't answer her though, I climbed on the desk and undid the screws that held the vent up. It opened for us now all we have to do is find our way out, fast. Risky, but the only chance we have. "okay, come up here in my shoulders." My words rushed out of my mouth. Shw climbed up the desk and I picked her up. She climbes onto my shoulders and into the vent.

--

'they're in here!' one cop yells as he kicks the door open. He spots Hoseok and quickly held his gun up to him. Other cops rush in the room. He was surrounded by four until the rest rushed in. The dogs however didn't attack him yet. They were held on leashes.

' put your hands up!' one of them yelled, his voice was deep and loud enough to boom throughout the whole motel.

Hoseok's P. O. V

"ah, long time no see." I smirk at the men that I've been coming into contact lately with. They're guns were all pointed towards me but I know that none of them would shoot. If they turn me in they get a cash price and must I say, I'm very expensive. They won't kill me yet, they want to get much more out of me before they pull the trigger. I purse my lips and shake my head. The gun was still in my hand. "I'm not gonna end this game so easily. It's so fun playing with you."

'release the dogs' the chief calls out but before they could even release the freeze in their spots.

Bang!

_

Hoseok pulls the trigger as the bullet zooms so close to the chiefs head. Barely missing it by a few centimeters but enough to leave a long bloody cut that will eventually turn into a scar. All of them looked his way, including the dogs. They were frozen for a bit but looked back to where Hoseok was. He was gone.

He quickly pulled himself up the vent grabbing Areum and crawling as quickly as they possibly could away.

Areum's P. O. V

While I was waiting for him whilst he faced the cops I could feel my heart vibrating through my skin. As much as I wanted to jump out of this damn vent and scream not to shoot I couldn't. I knew I couldn't because if I did it would be the biggest headliner of the world and it would bring my family great shame. I've been missing for months and I'd rather that they think I'm dead than running around with a mafia lord. I close my eyes as I try to slow my breaths down, trying to be the quietest one in there. I couldn't make a sound. The vent echos so a single squeak would seem like a whole scream. To calm myself I thought about him, how he's always came through in the worst situations. How I could always depend on him when-

Bang!

My heard stopped and eyes widened. Did he really just... Die. Did they shoot him?

No

No they couldn't of. They should have but they-

Is he really gone.

When I looked up he was right there, taking me and crawling swiftly through the vent. My breaths get louder and louder. I was still in shock of what just happened. My eyes filled up in tears as I followed him, quietly sobbing. My emotions really don't know how to react, they didn't even know how to catch up . He couldn't comfort me, I couldn't talk to him, we had to be quiet. As the vent space was getting smaller I ended up closely following in back of him. The air was getting hotter. Luckily we started to hear birds. The end of the vent was close but our energy was running out. The vent just started to incline and we literally had to climb up but I could feel my body giving out. I was getting slower before I just felt my body fall to the floor.

"Areum!" Hoseok looked behind himself to see me, trying to catch my breath. I could feel my throat dry up and my body Dripping I sweat it was hot in that vent. He spoke again "We're so close baby, you could do this."

I could do this. I could. But everytime I try to get myself back up my arms wiggle causing me to fall back down again. I looked to the other side of the vent. Smoke was coming towards me, crawling its way into my nostrils. Soon all I could see was black.

"Areum!" Hoseok yelled at me once more but he was quickly cut off. I fell into a deep sleep.

Hoseok P. O. V

Shit, shit, shit! What even is that stuff. I didn't notice that Areum was so far behind me and it wasn't like I could back up and save her with my legs. I quickly work my way out of the vent. It lead me to the roof's basement. All we have to do is jump before they surround the whole building. I get a mask from my luggage and but it on. They might have tricks up they're sleeve but I do too. I go into the vent once more. Everything was foggy, it was as if the smoke overtook it. I have to hurry before it reaches the roof. There was no use to call for her because whatever type of gas this was it made people sleep. I finally see her, she was face down as if she was dead but she couldn't be dead.

I quickly achieve her hands and drag her out. I could see the basement now. Everything was clear I kept pulling her but something stopped her. She was caught in something and everytime I pulled her it she wouldn't move a bit. I looked around, felt around, and my hand finally landed on something furry.

A low growl echoed through the vent. I slowly felt down the dog and it had its teeth in her leg and me pulling only made it worse.

I pulled the gun out of my pocket. Being super quiet. This gas somehow didn't affect dogs. I only had one shot. Left... And it had to go towards the right thing. I bangs the knife to the side of the vent. The dog let go of Areum, running towards me. That's when I shot my shot. The vent started to shake as I heard other dogs running. Taking Areum I quickly rushed her out. Picking her up once we were out of the vent I checked to see if she was alive and thank god she was. The smoke was creeping into the basement to the roof. There was a window so I opened and climbed out. There were cops everywhere trying to look for us but luckily they weren't looking in one area...

To be continued

___

Hey lovely, so this ff will be continued in the next couple chapters. Tell me if you like it enough for me to finish! I can't wait for you to know the deeper story of The Mafia's Princess. CHAPTER 2: https://temptingempress.tumblr.com/post/640407000512135168/the-mafias-princess-jhs-2

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