#does this mean spinach is also a big no no?

[mebis-art-dump]

Elves not liking red meat not because of "being in tune with nature" vegetarian trope, but because of its high iron content

[maxladcomics]

Who is W.D. Gaster?

DISCLAIMER: Generally my theories are my observations with no clear conclusion at the end, the same technically applies for this one. I am not forcing anyone take this as 100% truth because as I'm going to explain, there are potential windows into other ideas/conclusions. I am bringing this up because I haven't seen it brought up and searching for it also returns no results. Also numbers. Also I'm tricking you with the title.

This theory is making the assumption that you have read other W.D. Gaster theories, I don't want to dig up every detail that's already been repeated and tbh I wouldn't remember all the details anyway. I am focusing on a point that I KNOW has not been focused on before.

ENTRY SEVENTEEN (Wait Max you just said--)

Ok, obvious point: ENTRY SEVENTEEN. W.D. Gaster speaks in ALL CAPS with no *, a very significant detail of his character, along with his mannerisms in speaking. It's unclear what the lack of * means but it could be related to the fact he has been erased, shattered across time and space, and mostly forgotten.

The room is called "room_gaster", so the connection has already been made here. W.D. Gaster has clearly written this entry, or at least was present for it.

2. THE NUMBER 17

Ok so I don't know if anyone has ever questioned it- but why the number 17? The sound and the fact 17 is spelled out as seventeen most likely means that this entry was spoken.

Is it because 7 - 1 = 6? or 1 + 7 = 8? What would be the significance there?

Early on in Undertale, True Lab Entry 17 did exist, but was never added to the lab directly. It was removed after a future patch, making Entry Seventeen the only one.

But why 17? What does 17 mean?

In Undertale, there are a few things associated with the number 17.

mus_st_him is 17 seconds long, this music is called "Gaster's Theme" in the sound test room.

Still, this seems to line up with W.D. Gaster being connected to the number 17

Junk food, that you can buy from Bratty and Catty, "Food that was probably once thrown away." Discarded? Abandoned? It already has a big bite out of it.

The Abandoned Quiche, heals 34 HP. A psychologically damaged spinach egg pie.

Perhaps this is too excessive, BUT: 2 x 17 = 34

Also Q is the 17th letter of the Alphabet.

If you think the Quiche is bad then this next one is WORSE:

The Deltarune song, Don't Forget. We have a note in Undertale that says "Don't Forget", with 3 characters we don't know.

It is 51 seconds long...

That is 3 x 17.

Discarded like trash, Abandoned because it was too much responsibility.. Forgotten?

3. PAPYRUS IS W.D. GASTER

I would like to tell you that this bastard (affectionate) has been hiding in front of us the entire time. Of course the Papyrus is Gaster fans knew all along, but we are but a small niche of the fandom where the theories can be simply tossed aside with excuses of Papyrus is just a goofy guy, he's just joking, there's no way there's anything serious about him.

Anyway now that I've connected W.D. Gaster with 17, allow me to show you why Papyrus IS Gaster.

In a pacifist run, Papyrus's ATK and DEF are 20

In a murder run, Papyrus's ATK and DEF are 3

That is -17

On Attack number 17 of his battle, Papyrus mentions his special attack. This attack and 3 attacks after are randomized, until Annoying Dog takes his attack, and he uses his 'regular attack'. I have been focusing on the 3 here, but counting the random attacks (4) and Annoying Dog interrupting afterwards, Papyrus has 6 attacks/turns after 17.

There are 16 monsters you have to dust in Snowdin, Papyrus is the 17th.

4. A SMALL NOTE

Papyrus has 680 HP, that can be divided by 17 (either 17 x 40 or 170 x 4) .

EDIT:

Adding another Q = 17 = Abandon item

The FUN values. F is the 6th letter of the alphabet, what do the Fun values do? They change our run in specific ways, meeting characters that don't appear again and getting strange phone calls. There is also something else that starts with F that changes the game completely.

Flowey.. and of course:

Frisk.

These names do not exist in Deltarune, W.D. Gaster has not been shattered.

5. CONCLUSION

17 means Abandoned, discarded, forgotten and forgettable. The close tie in with 3 potentially means that 3 characters have been forgotten already (the 'Don't Forget' is useless).

Despite Papyrus speaking in all caps with no *, it is a possibility that Papyrus is one of the other two in Entry Seventeen, or Entry Seventeen itself is ABOUT Papyrus. But, this also depends on who the Goner Creator is, because that... is ANOTHERHIM.

So Papyrus could be: W.D. Gaster, one of the 2 in entry 17, the Goner Maker, or the Man behind the tree. Maybe two? Maybe all of them? As a treat? Or perhaps he is also something else..

Anyway this theory/observation ties in with my observations with the NUMBER 3, which is great! It was fun, it was easy!! I cannot!! say the same!!! for 8!!!!

[smolandweirdwriter]

Got headcannon(s) for you!

For literally every long trip the Bad Kids go on, Kristen and Adaine are the certified mother hens.

Kristen tries to have cool aunt vibes and she does. Just. She's still an older sibling. But she makes it work

Adaine has the baking down flat, she'll carry a nice Tupperware or 5 of baked goods to last the entire day. Cooking doesn't exactly fit with her, she's tried and although nothing was burnt (*coughfabiancough*) she isn't a big fan of it.

Kristen is a genius at anything corn, and ever since her mission to bulk up, amazing at salads and sandwiches. Her salad game is amazing. Her cooking is fine in general, but her absolutely shit dexterity does not help. If she's preparing food you better be prepared for batter on the ceiling and flour inside the drawers.

The two meet up the night before any long trip and the two grab a huge dufflebag and fill it with Emergency stuff like bandages and Epipens and sick bags etc. Yes Adaine could pull most of those out her jacket. Yes they'll still prepare for things.

If they need to cook food in the middle of a trip, Kristen and Gorgug will team up and make the food. Gorgug has probably the most kitchen skills aside from Kristen, but they do good together.

So the thing is, all of the Bad Kids have a specific set of behaviors that simply DO NOT CHANGE regardless of the nature of the road trip.

Kristen, for one, desperately wants everyone to have a good time and also, she doesn't want to get out of the van. she wants to enjoy her time listening to music, playing punch buggy, eating snacks, talking to people; she wants everyone to have everything they could ever need or want, right there in front of them. this means that she wants to bake allllll the goodies. Unfortunately for Kristen, she has Sookie St. James level clumsiness, especially in the kitchen, where there are far too many things to burn yourself with, trip over, spill, et cetera. She's been banned from cooking in Mordred Manor because she's set off the smoke detector so many times it broke. So she cooks at Seacaster manor with Cathilda's help (Fabian is NOT aware of this). She bakes up a storm of corn bread to take with them on the trip.

Adaine, for her part, is quite good at baking. Recipes are easy to follow, easier than spells. All you have to do is read the instructions and do what it says. She's not very good at cooking because she's not particularly skilled in the kitchen, and doesn't have quite the (albeit messy and chaotic) finesse that Kristen does. Adaine loves sweet things (a byproduct, perhaps, of not being allowed them as a child) and will help Kristen bake corn bread. (She sprinkles in chocolate chips sometimes.) She'll also bake cookies, muffins, brownies--whatever she's in the mood for, it makes it on the trip. (She usually ends up "accidentally" making a double batch of everything. Whoops.)

Kristen makes salads and sandwiches for everyone and has everyone's lunch and snack desires down to pat: Riz takes the extra-spicy chicken with lettuce and pickles, and he's addicted to those sweet and spicy candied nuts (so is Adaine, they usually sit together for a bit so they can share them); Fabian will not eat anything but kippers and the plainest salad known mankind (iceberg lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber slices); Adaine takes a steak sandwich, the bread toasted a bit too much but not burnt, with lettuce and cheese, and she also always packs chocolate-covered pretzels and lembas; Fig also loves an extra-spicy chicken sandwich, but she takes hers with tomatoes, salt and pepper, and mustard. Finally, Gorgug has a salad of so much quantity Kristen will pack two separate lunches for him: steak, olives, corn, chicken, arugula, spinach, tomato-- the works. He loves it every time.

Adaine and Kristen 100% end up, every time, unplanned and without fail, in the kitchen together at about 4:30 am the day of a trip going over the itinerary, packing list, making sure they have extra bandaids and blankets and sleeping bags and signal flares and spare tires. (they do. they can pull these things out of adaine's jacket. they don't care. better safe than sorry, right? they spend half an hour trying to fit everything in the trunk every. single. time)

Gorgug, of course, is the designated driver, and every time Adaine makes sure to tell him he gets a good night's rest, and makes sure he's taking breaks, drinking water, keeping his eyes on the road, everyone stop talking you'll distract him, Gorgug are you sure you're alright? She mothers him so hard he almost goes into a Rage just from sheer irritation despite knowing she truly means well.

Fig tries to play music; Riz tries to put on some boring podcast. they spend half the time listening to rock music and half listening to the corruption of the criminal justice system. gorgug hates both no mater what (the rock music because it's always fig and the sig figs and he truly can't stand listening to himself sing/play, and the podcast because, duh.)

Fabian refuses to help in any capacity. He sits in the backseat, kicks his feet up, and tunes out. He wanders out when they have breaks, and if there's a flat tire he's the one for the job, but honestly, he's not big on road trips. he goes because his friends are all going, but if he had to choose, he'd ride the hangman for days on end.

adaine is the one who checks them into hotels if they ever stay in hotels, and kristen scopes out the facilities and points out all the things everyone will like.

kristen takes soooo many pictures and forces everyone to pose for them every time and they all hate it. adaine can't take a good picture to save her life, and she physically doesn't know how to take a selfie and always makes someone else do it despite the fact that she's one of the tallest bad kids. she also has social media but is NEVER on it (she's always the first to respond to the text chain, though).

[rawliverandgoronspice]

You kno, I always (since I started playing LoZ 20+ years ago+additional ideas that came later) assumed Ganondorf is green bc of Koume and Kotake's influence. They're two powerful witches, and the occasional depiction of witches being green has probably also spread to Japan, so from that to show Ganon's ties to them, they were all three turned shades of green bc magic. It also sounded in-game like those two were a big reason for why Ganondorf went power mad and pushed war, even tho the other Gerudo didn't want him to go that extreme. Doesn't explain totk Ganondorf since there's literally no reason or backstory for him, but maybe it's like "tradition" by now. I also know there's a Chinese saying "putting on a green hat" which means the same as being green with envy, so I could imagine smth similar exists in Japanese, smth that could have worked with Oot's Ganondorf's envy of Hyrule's life giving lands. Since TP and WW, and HW Ganondorf are all the same guy, that kinda still works? I know it's really being viewed critical why he looks like he looks w the green skin, so thought I'd share a thing I basically came up with as a kid. (Except the green hat, only found out later, but the green with envy thought I did have back then.) Green hat works more for Link in the literal sense, so maybe Ganondorf has a figurative green hat. 😩

Hey! Yeah, I assumed the same for a very long time, and I'm pretty sure it's still the intent today.

I still think it's worth mentioning the trend has been really exacerbated with time; even back in OoT, his skin tone is not... that off the charts. Like yes, it does lean green, but after doing some color picking, it still stands reasonnably in the brown. It is a little sickly/olive, and there is a big gap between the concept arts and the model in-game already then (and in Smash, he's pretty much in the browns in his default model too), but it *could* be somebody's skin color. It's the same thing for WW Ganon btw, where his skin is definitively brown in the concept art and got much greener once modeled in the game. TP Ganon is the one where the difference between concept art and in-game skin is the least noticeable, but he also has the darkest shade by far so it doesn't read super green, even if it is quite there if you color pick. TotK Ganon is the color of a spinach smoothie in comparaison; even in the concept art itself, which might be even greener than the model in-game (a first!)

To be generous and fair to the whole thing, I think it used to be a case of what looked the most dramatic in-game, and a green hue does look less natural, colder, deader and scarier than a red-base one, especially in extremely intense lighting situations where Ganon often finds himself in, where it is easy to use that base color for contrast, especially with the red of his hair or the gold of his eyes and his little forehead jewel. This coupled with the influence of Twinrova and the association with envy probably pushed this direction even further every time.

But again, it is also hard to extract these choices from the history, in fantasy and sci-fi, of how to still dehumanize archetypes of PoCs without actually having them "being PoCs", or using excuses of inherent evilness to make their treatment by the narrative more acceptable. I am not mad at this choice inherently, but I am critical of it in the light of every other choice made in the year of our lady Hylia 2023 and the fact that I *so often* see this being used as protection against criticisms of both orientalism and a lack of care for what it implies about the worldbuilding of Hyrule. In OoT there was the connection to dark magic and the Twinrova; but in TotK, the Twinrova are easter eggs at best, not an active part of what shaped our antagonist and made him who he is. His evilness is made profusely clear the second he grabs the stone and becomes basically Satan with very cool hair, in a design that does lean super red and black anyway; one would think he'd rather try to hide his true nature before this?

(there is also history of PoC being turned green to avoid direct critique in fantasy/sci-fi worldbuilding, I think Star Trek is one of the big culprits but don't quote me on that)

Again, it's the package that is weird; and even more than the package, gradually changing PoC features over time in a way that, while not maybe being the only reason for the change, does allow the heroes to clearly identify the source of evil as Unlike Them while also distancing themselves from the more direct racist implications instead of... kind of allowing this to complicate the conflict, and accept that the conflict *is already complicated* no matter what is retconned or emphasized or changed. But the priority is simplicity and cleanness, and so Ganon and the gerudos do bear the blunt of these choices more often than not; the green skin being one of the more visible examples.

[bluberryfields]

"You could miracle it away."

Today I want to talk about the scenes with Aziraphale and Crowley at Tadfield Manor (the former convent). Yes, all the scenes. So yeah, this is going to be a lot. Buckle up. (Part 1 of whatever)

They arrive, and we see their personalities on display with Azi taking the “proper path” and Crowley just moving “as the crow flies” straight across the grass.

Then, as they approach the entrance archway, Azi suddenly stops and reaches out to Crowley by placing a hand on his arm.

So, a super good feeling of love washes over you and your instinct is to reflexively reach out and touch Crowley so that he would stop and hopefully also feel that feeling? Copy that.

A: *nearly gasping with every breath* “It feels loved.” C: *looking around and totally unaffected* “No, it’s definitely the place.” *pauses and turns to A* “What do you mean, ‘loved’?” A: *still breathing like he has a case of the vapors* “Well, I mean the opposite of when you say, ‘I don’t like this place. It feels spooky.’” C: *shaking his head like a baby being offered a spoon full of spinach mush* “I don’t ever say that. I like spooky. Big spooky fan, me. Let’s go talk to some nuns.”

Aziraphale is such a Southern damsel and Crowley is such a mall goth. I love them both.

They continue in and are soon shot by corporate drones amped up on adrenaline and interpersonal pettiness. As Azi frets about his coat, Crowley gets to utterly terrify the business dweeb who scolds him for not correctly playing dead.

C: *grinning and bobbing his head like a proud rooster* “Well that was fun.” A: *ignoring everything but his stained coat* “Well, yes, fun for you. Look at the state of this coat. I’ve kept this in tip-top condition for over 180 years now. I’ll never get this stain out.”

At this point, Crowley is walking a circle around Aziraphale to examine the damage (and just because serpents gonna serp). He stops once he’s all the way around while motioning his head towards the stain.

C: *pragmatically* ”You could miracle it away.” A: *considering it but not actually considering it because he’s clearly already decided to manipulate Crowley instead* “Hmm…Yes, but…well, I would always know the stain was there.”

Seriously, the pathetic ways his eyes dart around and down to emphasize how utterly sad this makes him, even going so far as to angle his body so that the stain is almost facing Crowley. I fucking see you, Aziraphale. You know what you’re doing, you little slut. Carry on.

Crowley then pouts in the cutest way possible as Aziraphale actively turns his body to make sure Crowley fully sees the damage the paintball has caused.

A: *trying to make eye contact with Crowley so that he gets the full impact of celestial cuteness* “Underneath, I mean.”

Crowley takes a step back to consider the situation and then leans in to oh-so-casually blow the stain away. And not just leaning his face down towards the stain, but with an extra cool twist of his body so that Azi can see the full experience of his face as he does this for him.

Crowley literally ‘rescued’ Aziraphale with his mouth. Like, this couldn’t be more sexual if it was Aziraphale’s dick in Crowley’s mouth.

And I realized that of all the other miracles we see in both S1 and S2, the action of performing them is done with the angel or demon’s hands. They pull power down from Heaven or up from Hell. There’s fun flourishes and dramatic snaps. But for this little miraculous moment, we barely see Crowley’s hands at all. The camera is framed for just Azi and Crowley’s shoulders up and we just see a finger being raised and lowered. So, did Crowley do a thing with his hands and decide to do the blowing notion for Azi’s benefit?

Finally, we see Azi’s reaction, which is all sparkling eyes and demure “Oh, thank you.” before walking on.

Get a fucking room, you two. Or not. Outside is fine. It’s natural. Beautiful, even. Wherever I can watch.

[hot-take-tournament]

it's finally time to close the book on this

HOT TAKE TOURNAMENT:

SHOWDOWN AT HIGH NOON (#15)

Submissions 8, 24, 28, 33, 88, 98, 213, 261, 272, 280

IS PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA GOOD?

[ALL PROPAGANDA UNDER THE CUT]

Then we never have to talk about this again.

Pre-preliminaries will be used to determine what qualifies as a hot take. Propaganda is encouraged!

Also, remember to reblog your favourite polls for exposure! (exposure like when your exposed to deadly radiation)

YES:

(24)

Pinapple [sic] belongs on pizza.

There are many dishes that mix sweet and savory. Cheese and fruit as found on charcuterie boards is a prime example. What else mixes fruit and cheese? That’s right. Pineapple pizza. The salty savoriness of the cheese blends perfectly with the cooked pineapple, which is less tart than raw fruit. Add bacon, canadian bacon, or chicken for extra deliciousness. You either like pineapple on pizza or you’re a coward.

(28)

Pineapple on pizza is not only good, it’s the best pizza topping there is

Sweet and savory is a godly flavor combo. It hits all the notes at once. It provides the acid and the sweetness to an otherwise very heavy dish

(33)

Adding to the last one I sent [about milk before cereal], "pineapple does not belong on pizza" people are also annoying as fuck

I don't even like pineapple but it's the only pizza my best friend will tolerate and I'm tired of people calling her a freak for it

(98)

Pineapple on pizza is fine.

I work in a pizza place & have to see absolutely fucking horrific monstrosities that people call pizza. Here’s a list of things worse than pineapple that I’ve seen on pizza: any topping that people ask for “extra extra” of (like mushrooms or spinach), fish, nacho cheese sauce, & a mix of beans and salsa

(213)

Pineapple on pizza is fine.

It's not mana from heaven or anything but it's not bad either. The flavors balance out pretty well.

(261)

PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA IS AMAZING!!!

it tastes good and pepperoni fans are just mean to us pineapple on pizza likers.

YES, but –

(272)

i like pineapple on pizza. the ham is the problem

listen i can do meat on pizza. but ham AND pineapple? no. something about that feels unholy. so i pick off the ham so i can enjoy my pineapple pizza. also i am allergic to pineapple. but we persevere

(280)

pineapple pizza is good in america

the sweet and savory combination is just… ough. but most native italian people don’t like the idea of pineapple pizza. why? the answer comes in the difference in tomatoes in italy and the united states. in america, tomatoes are very sour and savory, so pineapple can really do a pizza some favors. however, italian tomatoes, while still savory and tart, are very sweet. putting pineapple on an italian pizza would just be redundant.

(8)

I think people need to stop being so angry about Pineapple on Pizza. Weather [sic] you like it or not isn't a big deal

If we're supposed to 'respect other's opinions' then why do pizza toppings need to start a war? It's really pointless.

(oh... um... sorry dude. guess i'm not helping, am i)

NO:

(88)

pineapple on pizza should be outlawed

disgusting. crime against perfectly good pizza.

i’m RIGHT., i will FIGHT YOU, 🍍+🍕= 🚮

(266)

Pineapple should not be on pizza.

Fruit allergiers, particularly pineapple allergies, are steadily on the rise and this topping will legit kill someone if there's not at least some proper storage.

I work in a pizza place, and have been working with pizza for years. There is NO proper storage for pineapple at most pizza places. It comes from a can and the juice gets on every surface. Same with 90% of other toppings.

If you have a friend who is allergic to pineapple, do not recommend pizza for dinner during hang outs. Opt for anything else.

Pineapple should not be on pizza. The hell fruit should stay out of pizza kitchens.

[ducktracy]

What's a good beginner Popeye short?

HMMMM HMM HMM.. you could realistically start anywhere, given the nature of these shorts! i’d say the peak of the Popeye shorts is around 1936-1938, so maybe something around there.. the first Popeye i ever saw was Clean Shaven Man (thanks Devon!) and it’s one of my absolute FAVORITES, so that could be potential!

i guess my “essential viewing” Popeye shorts in chronological order would be something like this: A Dream Walking, King of the Mardi Gras, A Clean Shaven Man, What--No Spinach?, Let's Get Movin', Hold the Wire, the 3 Popeye two-reelers (Meets Sinbad, Meets Ali Baba’s 40 Thieves… i.. i confess i have yet to see Aladdin and His Wonderful Lamp but have heard very good things about it/still important in a historical context), Let's Celebrake, Goonland, A Date to Skate, and Hello, How Am I?

some of my favorites in addition to the ones above are Shoein’ Hosses, Pleased to Meet Cha!, The Spinach Overture, The Spinach Roadster, Organ Grinder's Swing, and Fowl Play.

i confess that i myself have only seen up to around 1938 (save for a few exceptions) in the Popeye filmography, which is something i NEED to rectify! i got so attached to the voice trio of Jack Mercer/Mae Questel/Gus Wicke that the idea of not hearing them together was something i was REALLY hesitant to accept. i likewise don’t want to insinuate that the only worthwhile shorts are the ones with them in it! it’s a reason why i need to jump back into the shorts again.

BUT, Popeye i think is one of those rare series’ where you can watch it from the beginning and be relatively well off. the artistic evolution through the years is CERTAINLY there, and the first few years are not without their hiccups, but there are very few shorts pre 1936 that i find to be truly bad or really anything less than “that was quaint!”. it helps that the Fleischer shorts weren’t as vitriolic/racist as their contemporaries—doesn’t mean those moments aren’t there, but the only true reprehensible short i can think of off the top of my head is Big Chief Ugh-Amugh-Ugh. it’s much easier to dive into the filmography chronologically than something like LT (which i still would posit is worth doing—i don’t think it is a SANE thing to do, but) which, length aside, does also sometimes become a laundry list of “how many ethnicities can we make fun of in this short”

THIS IS SO LONG FOR A NON-ANSWER and i apologize!! but the truthful answer is that i don’t really have an answer! i think it’s safe enough to dive in at any point, really. you adopt the tone and gist of the shorts pretty quickly

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #161

I was hoping that I would have been able to tell you that I've made it past that Grafted Scion today. Alas, the best that I can tell you is that I'm getting better at controlling the character and dodging out of the way of this adversary's attacks. I can reliably get about a sixth of its health down, which isn't bad, considering that it has 2,596 hit points, and my strongest attack does maybe 73 points of damage. I can usually land about 4-6 hits before I end up looking like I walked through one of those fancy electric salad shredders, which is a lot better than the 0-2 hits I started out with! Progress!!

I rested today because I overextended myself a bit yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that. And what I mean by "rested" is that I spent the first half of the day being productive, and then I rested. Reliably, one of the best ways for me to get stuff done is for me to decide that I'm not going to do things. And also, reliably, one of the best ways for me to not get stuff done is for me to decide that I am going to do things. It's like my brain does anything but what I want it to. It's VERY bizarre.

Well. After I returned home from therapy today, I made a tea. I tried one of the other samples from the Adagio place. Today, it was some kind of berries and sage tea…

Today's swirls were very good:

...Sometimes it's almost like watching something bloom.

I decided to make a breakfast today, which naturally meant that I had to do all the dishes first. J had cut up some broccoli, and so I made rice and eggs with natto and kimchi and a little bit of cheese to go with it.

Hey, Sephiroth? Do you like broccoli? Lots of folks in my world don't like it, but I'd almost wager that for lots of folks, it's because they ain't had it cooked right. I like to pan-fry it in a little butter and salt (unless the butter is already salted) until it gets brown and crispy on the edges; broccoli isn't known for having a high sugar content, so I think in this case, the browning might be the Maillard Reaction instead of simple caramelization due to the amino acids present in the butter, but I could be wrong. Both ordinary caramelization and the Maillard Reaction make things taste AMAZING though, so I guess it doesn't really matter which one it is as long as the results are nomful, right?

Before:

After:

...Broccoli, like most vegetables, shrinks a bit as its water content is lost from evaporation, due to the heat. For most veggies, this isn't really a big deal. But for stuff like spinach, this effect is especially pronounced:

...It's not quite as bad as this image would suggest, hahaha! But it's always a good general rule to cook more spinach than you think you need, because holy cow it really does shrink a lot.

Anyway, I cooked up some eggs, too:

...And here's the bowl of deliciousness that I put together with the broccoli and eggs:

...Cheese goes surprisingly well with kimchi, natto, eggs, rice, and whatever else. I think it's because cheese is salty. Some nice, crispy bacon would have gone well with this, too, I think.

Hey, Sephiroth? Do you know how to cook? If you do, then... do you cook well? Do you enjoy doing it? And if you don't... would you like to learn how, someday? If you'd like to learn, then I'll teach you if you pop by my house sometime - you're a smart guy with really good hand-eye coordination; I think you could learn the basics really fast and become super good at it very quickly!

It's kind of a chilly evening today; perfect weather to sit with someone under a toasty blanket and lean on them while watching them play video games. But I am the only one playing video games right now. Also, Br is at her house, and M and J are busy. Oh well.

Wouldn't mind to sit in your general vicinity and watch you learn how to play video games. Though, I imagine that it'd feel like such a safe and relaxing time for me that I'd probably end up falling asleep, and then I wouldn't be able to tell you all about what a great job you're doing and how quickly you're learning. Even if such a thing was possible, maybe that wouldn't be fun for you. So never mind it.

I guess I'll get back to it. I promised my therapist today that by the next time I see them, I'll have made it past this Grafted Scion; a person is only as good as their word, and I've got only 2 weeks to improve my skills enough to get it done. Better hop to it...

I love you. Please be nice to yourself out there, okay? And please stay safe. I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[50tillmyribsshow]

For most people here (including me a few months back) this may not be a big accomplishment, but I did only eat once today. Although it was a relatively big Portion (400-600kcal I believe), it was only one meal and considering that, im in my kcal limit: 600kcal.

I actually wanted to get a tomato salad but my mom came home and after I asked if she wanted something to eat too, she declined and said „I wanna go to the GYM and get a fit shaped body, that’s why I just bought spinach and lemons, don’t you?“. Like always when she says something thats offending me, she didn’t mean it that way and doesn’t understand why that would be mean. But I honestly feel bad everytime I get offended by her because I feel like a snowflake, and a fat one at that. Anyway after that I didn’t eat, I just went to my room, where I still am now.

It’s just that in the last 1-2days I’ve felt so indescribably bad. It’s like this really thick, heavy feeling in my head, my stomach, especially the fat on it, and also my throat. But especially in my double chin and fat cells and weirdly enough, my p…y or sth??? I hate it so much, like I literally just wanna k111 myself. It’s soooooo awful, and I feel it right now. I literally think it would take like opioids or molly to make that feeling out of me. I don’t know what it is. Stress? Disgust, in myself? Perhaps. God I hate it help me Jesus.

Well.. anyway, does anyone know how to make that go away or at least make it better? Also, could I loose 10-14kg (20-28pounds) in like half a month (18 days)?????

[probablyevilrpgideas]

How to Play: Popeye

Ok, so this is actually kinda straightforward. You're a multiclass barbarian/monk. More specifically, you're a Path of the Zealot Barbarian/Way of the Astral Self Monk.

At base, just being a barbarian/monk gives you some good Popeye-esque stuff. You don't "rage" you eat spinach. You get increased defense without armor (I ain't never seen Popeye wear armor, have you?), you get extra attacks, your punches do more damage than normal, you can punch missiles away, martial arts gives you multiple punches from level one, etc. If you have seven levels of Barbarian, Feral Instinct even lets you eat your spinach in an ambush.

Path of the Zealot

With Path of the Zealot, your path abilities all just feel right for Popeye. That first punch in a round is a killer, you can be raised from apparent death with no material componentsjust a can of spinach, when you've eaten your spinach, you can better resist poison/explosions/mental assault. Hell, even Zealous Presence can be fluffed as Popeye blowing a steam whistle from his pipe-

And at 14th level, you're strong to the finich cuz you ates your spinach with Rage Beyond Death.

Way of the Astral Self

So then, why Way of the Astral Self?

YOU CAN HAVE AN IN-GAME, MAGICAL EXPLANATION FOR GIANT POPEYE FOREARMS.

Ok, so that's actually just a bonus, but the visual of Arms of the Astral Self is a really nice bonus lol.

The actual main effects of this ability aren't really a big deal, because if you're playing Popeye, you're going to emphasize Strength. Being able to use Wisdom in its place is meh. BUT

That doesn't look like normal melee range to me.

(ok, I just couldn't find a gif of Popeye's arm stretching out *as* he punches someone, but I know that's a thing)

Body of the Astral Self lets you deflect energy damage and do double your Martial Arts die for damage with your punches. Awakened Astral Self increases your AC without armor and ups your punches per turn to four.

Ephemera

Ok, so, that's your classes. Obviously your background is going to be Sailor. Sailor gives you Athletics and Perception proficiencies, so (assuming you take Barbarian as your base class, which you should) take Intimidation and Survival as your class proficiencies. You could also ask your GM if you could take Performance as one of your proficiencies.

You *probably* want to be human, especially if your GM is using Tasha's Cauldron style ability increases, but Orc or the like would be a defensible choice.

(also, I will put in a word here for playing a harengon and being a mix of Popeye and Bugs Bunny who eats carrots instead of spinach. And you get to add your proficiency to Initiative, meaning you're more likely to be able to eat your carrots at the start of combat)

For feats, Sentinel would definitely be good, given how often Popeye hits some as they move towards him. Tavern Brawler would also be very fitting, if perhaps a bit redundant (maybe if you want to forgo Monk levels), and if your GM doesn't let you take Performance in lieu of a normal Barbarian skill, you could take Skilled (I'd suggest Acrobatics, Performance and Concertina). Crusher would be amazing just for the 5' knockback, which is very Popeye. Fighting Initiate would also be good to give you Two-Weapon Fighting.

Downsides

Now. There are some drawbacks. 5e refuses to let you take two bonus actions in a turn, which means you can't rage and spend ki points for Astral Self stuff on the same turn. I would recommend asking your GM if you can do both in one turn provided you do nothing else (and if they're reticent, offer to forgo the martial arts damage when manifesting your arms). I feel like that's honestly pretty fitting for Popeye eating spinach.

Other Options?

You could go Way of the Sun Soul, since Popeye does some fire-y shit with his pipe when he powers up sometimes. However, you could actually forgo Monk levels entirely, take Tavern Brawler for your punching, and get levels of Warlock instead. In this case, you probably want to go Pact of the Blade (with a gauntlet as your pact weapon) and Hexblade as your patron. I can' find an invocation that lets you channel your eldritch blast through melee, alas, but honestly, Eldritch Smite and hex-pact-blade stuff works well, and if you want to use your EB for stuff, like repelling blast, just fluff it. Gift of the Depths would be really fitting for Popeye.

[babygaunt]

Our Story

Hi Guys i just want to share my own fanfiction. Hope you like it. I am not native speaker, please forgive me for any grammatical error.

Male MC X Ominis Gaunt

Fluffy

Part 2 Market

Both of you just arrived at the main market. But it would not be what Ominis expected. As you spend too much time stopping and admiring each merchant whom you passed by.

"Oh look at this Ominis" You said while giving him a red spinach. It is spinach, but with red colour. I bet you never saw it your life"

Ominis responded by a little nod. Of course he had never seen it before, as he has blind since birth. But he doesn't want to hurt you. So he nodded in agreement.

After 20 minutes, tired, Ominis walked to a bench in the corner of the market and took a sit for a while. He never felt exhausted in his entire life as tired as when take a shopping trip with you.

It reminds him of last year, when Sebastian just got home after guiding you to shopping in the Hogsmeade. He needed to drink around 20 Wiggenweld Potions that night to recover". Seb never wanted to tell him further about what was happening. He assumed this what was actually happened.

"No wonder Sebastian never wants to shop with Y/N again" Ominis exhales his breath.

He swears if you just take a stop for every minute to each merchant in the market. Admiring for any item, which is not so unique, but could seem so strange to you. Like red spinach. Who cares about "green spinach" or "red spinach" Ominis talks to himself while hearing you said "I never saw red spinach in Hogwarts or Hogsmeade. Poor those wizards. Never knew good vegetables like this exist.

"Like we have champing chinese cabbage in Hogwarts if you really want a unique vegetable". think Ominis while trying to get up from his beloved brench and starting to walk again to follow you up.

And for the next minute, you already give him a humongous giant crab. Ominis almost shouted a curse from his wand when that big giant crab was placed on his left palm. And what you said " I never see such a big thing in Hogwarts". Ominis just rolled his eyes. How about the giant squid which lived under the black lake. Isn't it much bigger that that crap crab? and that squid already likes your neighbor as Slytherin's common room also located under black lake.

Ominis whispering "Spongify", makes a soap bubble come out from his wand, and he uses it to wash his palm. That bastard Giant Crab leaves a fishy smell. and he does hate it. He wondered what made you like from that bastard crab? the crab reminds him of a baby troll. As that crab is huge, heavy, with hazard skin and fishy smells.

It is already like an hour before you suddenly stop which makes Ominis almost bumping into you.

"Wait Babe, we haven't bought any food" You are screaming.

"What.."Ominis was shocked for a while. "So what are these?" He lifted up some bags which were already brought up by him all the way.

"Well you see bae, I cannot resist buying some goods all around" You replied shyly. "You see this cloth has a cute kitty pattern. It just reminds me of you" You smiled while picking up some goods which you bought all along. "And this watch is make "ting ting '' sound. Isn't so cute?" You start to explain those goods.

Ominis knew if it would never end, so he just pinched your cheeks,and said. "I am hungry and tired. And now we haven't bought any food at all" Ominis pinch your cheeks harder as he is exhausted without any result.

"You are so mean. I just want to have fun while shopping with my own boyfriend" You replied to him.

By your voice, Ominis recognize any disappointment. So he takes a deep breath and gives the happiest smile which he can manage. "Of course. I am happy sweety".

"I love you baby" You just hugged him. The exhausted felt evaporated from Ominis body. He kiss your forehead lighlty. "But now, we do need to buy food okay" He smiled sincerely this time.

"I know. you just stay on the bench there would you? I would search for a snack first" You guide him to the bench in one corner of the market and leave him behind.

Ominis just took a deep breath. He feels exhausted, thirsty, hungry and the worst is about how his boyfriend just spent an hour just to buy such ridiculous items.

His mind wandered about a few years ago. When he was in a year three in Hogwarts. Sebastian went on a date with one Ravenclaw girl. One pretty girl, with huge boobs, thic ass, and smells like a rose in the garden. That is how Sebastian described the girl. But what did Ominis remember about her, if she was a kind of spoiled girl. She always wanted to be there whenever Ominis and Sebastian went through. She ridiculously wants to control Sebastian's life. But the story ended when she pushed Sebastian to leave Ominis as he is... blind. The girl just cannot let his perfect boyfriend get along with a disabled guy like Ominis. How it would affect her cycle friends. In the end, Glad Sebastian chose to break up with her and stay his friendship with Ominis till the day.

What Ominis learned from that relationship, when Sebastian told him about advice in love life "Women just love shopping. They could become like niffer which found tons of treasure. They pocket just endlessly for shopping you know".

Ominis always thought it would never happen to him. He believes himself to be a kind , independent guy. He loves his loneliness. Make a small cycle of friendship. Most of time he is spent hanging out with Sebastian or anne. He never fell in love with anyone. He has never dated any girl before. But in the end just dating a boy who came in fifth year.

"But Y/N is a boy. Does he has the same behaviour as a girl?" Ominis get confused. Is it the same if you date a boy or a girl? Can he simply take advice from Casanova like Sebastian?"

While his mind flew to nowhere, he remembered what Sebastian once said to him "In love, you are not seeing whether you are the controller or follower. It is not about your position or who  is your mate. Simply you want to give everything you could to make your couple happy".

So, whether he is a girl or a boy, he is simply my love one" Ominis thinks.

For a while he feels a relaxation in his mind, the piece is disturbed with rumbles from his stomach. He looked for your presence, and you found nowhere.  

"Where the heck did Y/N go?" Ominis thought. Part of his mind wants to blame you for spending an hour buying things which are not even relevant.

"The hell Y/N went to" Ominis felt a little bit angry. "Y/N left me alone, in this muggle world, with these bunch of useless items". Ominis closed his eyes.

Does he choose the right person? Does he already take a right decision to date  with you"

Again, he remembered what his Casanova friend told him before, "In Love, you must find any obstacles. Those are only to prove your love. Love is just not simply like you walking on a flat path, probably there would be a hurricane. But If you are able to face it, then you will win against it".

Ominis nod to himself. I already take Y/N as lover. Whether is it good or bad, we will came through it together. I just need to accept what he has done as him. He cannot take Y/N goodness but leave Y/N bad part. As Y/N already fights for Ominis and Sebastian in last year, so does when Y/N take him as lover even though he is a blind. So Ominis need to take Y/N without any regret. In your good or your bad" Ominis smiles as he knows Y/N just come to his direction.

"Baby" Y/N hug him tightly."I am sorry to make you wait for so long. Here I bring some food". You just put out some food on the bench.

"It is good to have you back sweety" Ominis smile.

[bloodgulchblog]

Over in rper town people were passing around some character questions that you're supposed to ask each other to answer. So I decided to do all of them about the Chief.

How aware is your character of their thought processes? Do they think about why they do what they do (however accurately)? Do they care about self-analysis?

John fucking hates self reflection. He has a list of John-acceptable reasons why he THINKS he does most things and he Absolutely Refuses to analyze whether it's actually true or not.

Is your character more likely to think they can overcome something even when they can't or to feel helpless even when they aren't?

John thinks it's his job to push himself through fucking everything. If he runs up against his limits because a human being can only endure so much, well, that means he is bad and should feel bad. Obviously.

3. What's one thing they're overconfident about? What's one thing they're under-confident about?

Over-confident: enduring terrible things, and also being responsible for all the bad consequences when he can't solve everything by just being tough enough.

Under-confident: John really does not see how much his humanity toward other people matters when he shows it, and that he's better at being kind than he realizes.

4. How aware of and in control of their physical presence are they? Could they ever be caught with their clothes inside-out or spinach in their teeth? Do they ever stop paying attention to where they're walking or hit things when gesturing?

John is very alert re: the state of his body and also his body language. He is troublingly accurate at assessing where he's hurt and how badly without a medical scan because... he has so much experience.

When it comes to body language, he's very careful about what he's expressing and (I've said this elsewhere) I think John is pretty conscious of the effect his body language has on other people. He knows he's big and intimidating. Most of the time he prefers to regulate that a little and keep the intensity low by keeping back from people and not making sudden moves, but if John is either in a bad enough spot that he's not, or if he wants to turn on the intimidation, he is suddenly Very Present And Standing Very Tall.

5. How good are they at accurately assigning blame? Do they think everything is their fault? That nothing is?

As stated above, everything is always John's fault? Forever? He is responsible for everything?????

6. Name something from your character's past that affects their behavior now in a way they don't realize and something that affects them in a way they do realize.

Spartan Training Absolutely Did Not Fuck Him Up In An Inexcusable Way What Are You Talking About It's FINE?????

John does understand how bad what happened with Cortana hurt him and has made him worse at the things he wants to do/be, even though he hasn't figured out how obvious it is to everyone who knows him.

7. Does your character overcompensate for anything?

You can probably count "I'm bad at socialization and lying so what if I just minimize how much I talk to people entirely?"

8. Does your character believe they're chronically lucky/unlucky? Why?

John has a reputation for luck that other characters acknowledge. He supposes he might as well lean in.

9. Does your character have an inner monologue? Are their thoughts about themselves more frequently positive or critical?

John is one of those people who doesn't have an inner monologue, but he absolutely does think himself in worry circles all the time about things he can't change. He likes himself and what he can do. His self-image problems are mostly in that he measures his own worth by how much he's doing for others, and if he is in a situation where he can't help or his attempts to do good work have failed, he feels pretty useless and bad.

10. Are there any values or beliefs your character espouses but doesn't live up to?

John's values for himself are pretty toxic. He has not shaken the idea he's internalized that the best thing he can be is a more perfect machine that does not hesitate because of feelings or pain.

It's good for him that he can't actually achieve it, though the trying still hurts him all the time.

11. How good at reading people is your character, usually? Do they think they're better or worse at it than they are?

John's ability to figure out when something's up with someone is better than he thinks, but the problem is he's usually not around anyone long enough to get a good baseline sense of a person for him to compare with. He will absolutely notice when someone he knows is breaking from their usual patterns, though.

That said, I think mostly he is not good at reading people. He's a Spartan-II, he's not very socialized, and he's usually more busy covering his own end of the interaction than he is paying detailed attention to the other half.

12. What sorts of things does your character use to evaluate someone they've just met—clothes, looks, attitude? Is there anything (besides bad behavior) that will give them a kneejerk dislike of a stranger? A kneejerk affection?

The first thing John assesses about a stranger is branch and rank, if signs are visible to him. (Because 99% of people John meets are UNSC) He's instantly on the alert with anyone that shows hallmarks of being ONI because you never know what ONI wants or what it's doing.

He is most comfortable with people who are calm and know what they're doing. He's a no-nonsense professional without being super uptight, and appreciates the same.

13. Would you say your character is too trusting, not trusting enough, or juuuust right?

Despite being a Spartan and raised in ONI secrecy, John is... honestly kind of too trusting. Just look at Guilty Spark.

It's in John's nature to believe people. Unless they're throwing big red flags, he usually will.

14. How susceptible is your character to perceiving or treating others like surrogate parents or children (or some other specific familial role)? Why?

Not really. John doesn't have a strong "family" mental framework to begin with, much less to slot people into. I call the Spartans his siblings because it's the most useful shorthand, but it's not a word he would use for that relationship.

I joke about how he's a dad now in Halo Infinite, but he's also really not.

15. Can they easily tell when someone is hitting on them?

He does get hit on sometimes and can usually tell he's being flirted with if someone's being straightforward or using common lines, but if they're trying to be clever or subtle about it he will absolutely not notice.

16. How sensitive are they to passive aggression or backhanded compliments? Do they ever read too much into things?

John notices these things and calmly controls the spike of indignation he feels. He's not one to overanalyze surface comments that seem neutral enough, and he will make an effort not to react to actual digs at him because it's not like his feelings are supposed to matter, right??? Being a professional means being a brick wall.

17. Does your character project anything in particular onto other people—thinking everyone is scheming because they're always scheming themselves, for example?

Part of the reason why John tends to default to trusting people is because John is always doing his best and trying as hard as he can, so he wants to naturally assume that is what's going on inside other people too.

18. Are the standards your character holds other people to higher, lower, or equal to the standards they hold themselves to? Do they notice that?

John holds himself to a higher standard than other people because he has swallowed the idea that being a Spartan-II means he has exceptional ability and thus he must live up to exceptional expectations.

Otherwise he is being bad.

19. How noticeable is your character? Do they stand out or fade into the background? Is that intentional or innate?

Our boy is seven feet tall and usually wearing a shit ton of armor. He's hard to miss.

That said, like I was saying when talking about his body language: I think he has a good ability to downplay his body language's energy and stay back. You won't miss him in a room, but he's not inherently looming and threatening in the way he carries himself.

20. What's the first thing they want other people to notice about them? Is that what most people actually usually notice?

John wants other people to recognize that he is a Spartan, and by golly they sure do.

21. Besides just being more formal in formal settings, do they ever change how they behave around specific people? Is it on purpose? What happens if they're in the room with two of those people at the same time?

John doesn't really have many friends, but he is a little more warm and playful with them. You see this with Cortana most. He used to be like this with the Spartans more, but time and authority wore him down.

Presence of strangers/superiors will mute this behavior again unless he can do it, say, privately over a comm channel.

22. Does your character wish people perceived them differently than they do? Do they have any qualities they wish got more recognition? Is there anything about your character's background or personality that they try to hide but can't?

Every now and then, he does scare somebody without meaning to. And that always feels like shit.

He also wishes he could pass a little more easily for "normal," but it's purely for the ease that would offer him. He likes who/what he is.

23. Does your character come across the way they intend to come across—cool when they're trying to be cool, intimidating when they're trying to be intimidating—or is there a mismatch?

Most of the time. Unless he's pretty bad off, or trying to tell people not to worry about him re: things that are unhinged to not worry about him for.

24. If someone hated your character for no apparent reason, how would they take it? Would they try to change their minds? Could they live without knowing why?

He absolutely could live without knowing why. John does care about what the people close to him think, and he wants to be useful and helpful and good, but if some rando is super antagonistic to him for no apparent reason and won't back down about it he's just ???? Okay????

He will figure out how to avoid it if he can and work around it if he can't.

25. What if someone openly adored your character for no apparent reason? Flattering or uncomfortable?

It's nice when people say nice things, sure, but oh man do not get clingy or weird or over-invested with him. He will be so uncomfortable. This is not an energy he can match and he wants out of this conversation, please let him go.

[ailelie]

Since I'm up at 4 in the morning with a sore throat that kept waking me up and am working on a mug of hot tea to soothe it and since AO3 won't load, I looked up what makes a piece of writing sound like fanfiction.

Something "sounding like fanfiction" is apparently the latest insult du jour, but no one has a common understanding. The insult is based on the assumptions that fanfiction writing is (a) amateur and (b) written for a known canon.

(Many who protest the phrase point out that plenty of fanfic is very well written and edited and that some of the 'known canon' issues are things they enjoy, but even so, the phrase endures generally as negative).

Note: I did also see that some people condemn anything written in the first person as "like fanfiction" and others even extend that to anything written in the present tense. But, these are not hallmarks of fanfiction and are not common complaints. Those who do mention them often imply or describe amateur writing, as explained below, as well.

Amateur Writing

When people use 'like fanfiction' to mean 'amateur writing,' what they point out are awkward prose, poor editing, purple prose, and flat characters. They may also talk about a lack of underlying structure, such as a three-act structure, that pulls all of the scenes together. Instead, the book may feel like just a series of events that happen to the protagonist. "Stuff just happens" was a phrase I saw a few times.

Another issue some people brought up is the idea that characters, but especially the protagonist, have either too much 'candy' or too much 'spinach.' These are concepts I picked up off Mythcreants. Candy is the good stuff (e.g., special skills, awesome moments, cool equipment, impossible luck), while spinach is the flawed stuff (e.g., big defeats, irritating character traits, embarrassing moments). The argument is that professional writing balances the candy and spinach characters have/get, while amateur writing does not.

One other trait of 'amateur writing' people point out when explaining what 'written like fanfiction' means is the lack of development or build-up for relationships, emotional moments, and discussions of feelings. Relationships (e.g., friends, rivals, lovers) feel suddenly present and suddenly important. Characters talk about their feelings out of nowhere. Etc.

Written for a Known Canon

When people use the phrase in this way, what they mean is that writers of fanfiction have a previously established world, plot, and characters. Fanfic writers do not spend a lot of time describing places, events, and people their readers already know. Even if the protagonist is unfamiliar with the plot element, the description may be fairly basic so that readers are not bored/annoyed by old information.

Another complaint was about length. The argument is that fanfiction-like writing is overly long (or too short, but that's less of an issue with novels). The reason for this may be that the book contains a lot of 'fluff' scenes that are just about characters getting along. The argument here is that while it may be entertaining to watch well-known and beloved characters bicker over which cereal to buy, readers may be less interested in watching new characters do the same. They want the plot, not the small moments.

Another element that some pointed out was the use of common tropes (e.g., there was only one bed, enemies to lovers, hurt/comfort) and specifically fanfiction tropes (e.g., sentinels/guides, five things, omegaverse) in the book. Some of these have broken containment enough that many readers do not connect them with fanfiction. People who read fanfic, though, can't ignore the connections and maybe both annoyed and delighted by the tropes' presence in their books.

[sassypotatoe1]

@wheatforme hi you said you wanted to look for more shelf stable foods in the tags on the post about weight gain in disabled people, and while I don't want to derail that post with this I do still want to help out so here's what I learned with the help of my former dietician.

For breakfast, cereal is a fantastic option. You'll get a ton of health nuts slamming breakfast cereals for being unhealthy but that's solely because of the sugar content. Most breakfast cereals on the market are not only cheap, shelf stable and delicious and less likely to trigger eating disorders like ARFID, but they're pretty packed with nutrients. You don't even need the fancy gross nutrition cereals froot loops have vitamins and minerals worked in to make it more nutritious for kids because of us fda regulations.

You can also eat breakfast bars, those are shelf stable and nutritious, but the portion sizes are iffy because you'll consume about twice the recommended portion before reaching satiety. That's not to say you shouldn't go over the recommended portion size, by all means eat until you are satiated, but if you are diabetic or have some other related health issues sticking to the recommended portion size might be better.

For lunch things like cracker bread, rice cakes, saltine crackers, dried fruit, protein bars and cookies are great. They're all shelf stable, you can buy them in bulk (enough for 3 months I'd say) and except for the dried fruit, if you take them out of the package and store them in air tight containers they'll hold.

Dried fruit you should ideally consume in a month tops, because it can still go bad faster than the rest, but it's very important to incorporate fiber and fruit sugars and vitamins into your diet so if fruit go bad in your house or you have arfid and differences in fruit texture triggers it, dried fruit is a fantastic shelf stable way to get those nutrients without things getting in the way.

You could also keep processed fruit juice, which a lot of health nuts will also slam but if you check the label thoroughly and it does contain adequate vitamins and minerals and fiber, it doesn't matter if it has preservatives that's a shelf stable nutrition source. Preservatives aren't evil and they very likely don't cause cancer there's just a small negligible chance that they might.

For dinner my favorite things to keep are frozen microwavable meals. Granted they're not as nutritious as fresh meals but they're still packed with nutrients so they're a good choice. They don't mess with your executive dysfunction because you literally take them out of the box while frozen, stab holes into the plastic top with a fork, put them in the microwave for 6 minutes (or however long the box says) and eat.

I also like to keep instant noodles, and not just ramen though that's pretty good snack-wise and I'll tell you in a bit why, I mean the packets of instant Mac and cheese, or pasta Alfredo, stuff like that. They're probably the least nutritious things in this entire post and they still have proteins, carbs, and calcium from milk. They're great for an energy boost when you haven't eaten in two days because nothing is appetizing and you couldn't get out of bed.

You literally throw it in a bowl, throw in milk, add boiling water and stir. Some of it you have to microwave for a few minutes, other kinds you boil on the stove for a bit, but it's quick and it's easy and it's a perfect boost when you need it.

Snack-wise I keep a huge party pack of chocolates, like pralines or wafer balls. I also keep chocolate spread and peanut butter, and both are fantastic on crackers. For instant ramen I like to get frozen cooked spinach, a big bag, and eggs. The eggs aren't shelf stable but I just use them when I have them. I make the ramen with a chunk of the spinach, and then I boil the egg, cut it up and put it in the ramen. It was the snack that kept me alive in my last year of university. It's got protein, spinach which is like a super food, and carbs. It's great.

Of course I also kept cheese and yogurt but like the eggs they were use when I had them items because my executive dysfunction didn't allow me to go shopping frequently enough to replace them as they ran out.

My real life saver though, quite literally in fact, was ensure nutrition shakes. It may be expensive but a can lasts 3 months if you drink a shake a day, and it's positively loaded with all the nutrients you could possibly need. I preferred the chocolate flavored one, but my brother liked vanilla and my university roommate liked banana.

I don't know what's available where you are, but a nutrition shake is fantastic if you struggle with executive dysfunction or arfid or both like me. You can, within limits, use it as a meal replacement. If I didn't eat for an entire day and didn't have energy to make even instant ramen I made myself a shake. You scoop 6 scoops into a tumbler, add a cup and a half of water, I used milk because I was trying to gain fat, and you shake all your frustrations out. Then you have a great tasting nutritious liquid meal.

Like I said though within limits. Nutrition shakes may have all the nutrients you need, but if you only consume that and not much else you could end up with dehydration, constipation or diarrhea, kidney problems, nausea, and excessive weight gain. One shake a day should be your cut off, and you have to consume something with a lot of fiber and a ton of water so your body can digest it properly.

That's all I have for you, though your preferences will be a lot of trial and error to see what works for you and what doesn't. I hope this helps!

[theforumcat]

You said you had home made macaroni! Did you make it yourself? If so, can you share the recipe? Thank you!

oooooooooh. Uhhh.

No? Yes, but no?

A lot of things I know how to make I just Know How To Make. I have a lot of extremely varied cooking heritage (from a dad who loved to cook, to a couple of chef apprenticeships, to devoted study of my family’s sort of folk-hero matriarch) that has resulted in a great deal of foods that I can just… make.

So I know how to make macaroni and cheese, which is actually very easy, but unfortunately the closest thing to a recipe for the macaroni I made the other day would be:

Pasta (it was a kale and spinach spiral, because that’s the pasta I use for everything) - about 3/4 box

Milk (I used goat milk because I tend to use goat milk, but any milk is fine. Thicker is better, so ideally cream or super creamy non dairy. Buttermilk is also yummy) - how much? Idk. The right amount. I think a cup?

Buttermilk powder - a tablespoon. Ish. I just use a regular spoon and eyeball it. It goes in a lidded cup with the milk (I use a jam jar)

Flour - like two tablespoons. Also goes into the milk

Flour - like two tablespoons. Does NOT go in the milk

Butter - probably half a stick but I really wasn’t paying that much attention

Pasta water - one cup, set off the the side. This is like the only thing I used a measuring cup for, and of course it’s just as a reservoir container for something used as needed

Lemon juice - a whole lemon’s worth. I left the pulp in; it wasn’t hurting anyone.

Garlic - a whole head, crushed

White onion - somewhere between a quarter and half cup, minced. Probably closer to half. Big handful.

Cayenne pepper - a little sprinkle

Chicken bouillon concentrate - a bit

Cheese - two cups ish of extra sharp white cheddar, grated

1. Butter in pan. Hot. Melting.

2. Garlic, onion, stock concentrate. Let the onion kinda disappear and the onion and garlic start to smell good. Splash in some lemon juice but not all

3. Put flour over it and whisk in. Let this brown up and brown up and brown up, and do not let it stop moving at any point ever (okay, it’s not actually that fussy, but until you get the hang of making roux start with those instructions)

4. once you have decided that letting it brown up any more is going to scorch, add the rest of the lemon juice and turn the heat down

5. Shake the milk and company container vigorously for a while. If you think you have finished, shake it that much again. Do not accidentally churn the milk into butter, but do get it really good and mixed and frothy

6. Add some cheese to the pan and let it start getting melty, whisking into the butter and lemon

7. Add the milk jar

8. Get it hot enough to maybe simmer but not boil and keep adding cheese a bit at a time until you’re out of cheese. If the sauce gets too thick (flour-gloopy or cheese-stringy) add splashes of pasta water to smooth it back out

9. Cayenne pepper to taste

10. Mix in pasta

I tried to make this as helpful as possible, but I do a lot of cooking wherein “cup” means literally just whatever cup was at the front of the cupboard, or sometimes a really full handful, or just however much I decided to put in and call a cup. A lot of my steps are just “cook it” or “make sauce” or whatever, and while this is a little more specific, because it’s in particular the white cheddar and lemon macaroni variant I made the other day and quite a simple thing, anything with a bigger list of ingredients will vary wildly on what’s actually in there (what’s in Cheeseburger soup? Cheese, beef, tomato paste, vegetables. what vegetables? Vegetables!) or anything that isn’t a specific variant (like if I just gave you a “Mac n cheese recipe”) will often include illuminating entries such as “spices.” Somewhere I have a recipe card that just lists “the spices,” and you just have to know/intuit/decide/guess what that means. There are also a lot of things measured in “assloads,” “some,” and “splooshes” and “splashes” (and the precise amount that qualifies as some or an assload, of course, varies by ingredient). Sometimes I’ll also work in helpful measurements like “bowl full” and it will be several different bowls.

Anyway, I am a disaster cook but the things I make are very good. I’ve got that sweet, sweet ancestral guidance and blessing~

[adultswim2021]

Robot Chicken #43: “Squaw Bury Shortcake” | August 19, 2007 - 11:30PM | S03E02

Sorry this is late. Friday nights are easy for me to miss. Sorry it missed Saturday Night’s deadline too; tumblr seemed to go down right as I was about to post it. Here it is roughly one day and one hour later than it should be.

Let’s just fucking do this: “Tiny’s Big Problem” is a sketch where a big fat guy on a superhero team that I barely recognize has to lose weight, and he does, and then the punchline is one of his teammates kills him out of jealousy. The fat guy absent-mindedly eating the cardboard that the microwave pizza comes on is a pretty solid fat joke, though. 

“Masturbation MythBusters” doesn’t really make that much sense. They are Mythbusters but they have Ghostbusters proton packs and they suck up a child who is masturbating to bust the myth that he’ll go blind? What’s even supposed to be funny about this? Like, okay, sure, on some basic level the idea of Ghostbusters coming in and zapping a child for jacking off is funny, but the logic here isn’t even pleasingly tortured. Just make them be Ghostbusters and maybe the sperms have little ghosts that need to be busted!!

“Popeye Intervention” is about Popeye having an intervention for–what else?--heroin. I mean, spinach. Popeye is voiced by Dave Coulier (who also voiced “Tiny” in the other sketch). They put an old scratchy film effect over it, spitting in the face of the restoration work currently being done for the Fleischer Bros. cartoon film library. 

“King of the Monsters” This is a parody of Training Day with Ethan Hawke, who voices Godzilla Jr. in this. I’ve never actually seen Training Day, but I know the line “King Kong ain’t got shit on me” which figures into the punchline of the sketch. It’s fine. I guess. I mean, I hated it, but it’s fine.

“Council of Evil Tables” A guy fights Tables. Pretty simple. I don’t hate it but: did I laugh? NO!

“Give a Mouse a Cookie” A mom tells her child a freaking ~tWiStEd~ version of “If You GIve a Mouse a Cookie”, where the Mouse is vampiric and world is nuked into oblivion as a desperate measure to stop the spread of vampires. Could this be a metaphor for the rampant spread of socialism and the mutually assured destruction it will cause? I don’t know! (By the way I’m not a socialist anymore, I’m just going back to being “just some guy”)

“Feel Lucky, Punk?” Is a pretty basic take-off of Dirty Harry asking a “punk” if he feels lucky, and he does! So he goes and has a very luck-luck-lucky crime spree. Seth Green calls this a bad sketch on the commentary. Don’t worry Seth, they are all bad. The wiki says a gag similar to this appeared on Family Guy. I should Family TRY to watch that.

“Bob Barker’s New Gig” is about Bob Barker retiring from Price is Right and becoming a vigilante castrator for stray (and not-so-stray) animals. Snoop Dogg plays himself, transforming from a dog to a human (reference to this music video). Bob sure does sound like Bob, but it’s a soundalike. Commentary reveals that they tried to get him to play himself but he passed… AWAY!!! Hahaha! No, actually, they make that joke on the commentary and he wasn’t dead yet. Sorry everyone. I stole from Robot Chicken. This sketch exemplifies the value of the original DVDs, because the DVD is vastly uncensored and the HBOMax versions are not. Good news for those of you wishing to see mangled stop-motion animal genitals. 

Well, I guess I have to keep watching these for a while. Robot Chicken continues to get charitable bits of faint praise from me. What else is new. 

EPHEMERA CORNER

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters DVD marathon (August 13, 2007)

The two-disc version of Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters came out on DVD on Tuesday, August 14, 2007. But those who tuned in on Monday Night were treated to an Aqua Teen Hunger Force marathon with episodes interspersed with various things that appeared on the DVD. This included music videos, the “fake endings” and a bunch of other promotional stuff. The second disc of the DVD release contained the Deleted Movie which consisted of deleted material and– oh. FUCK. I promised to review that I’m pretty sure. 

Okay, everyone. This post was a day late, so here’s a BONUS review of THE DELETED MOVIE:

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters: The Deleted Movie (August 14, 2007)

This was a more interesting watch than I thought it would be, and it’s also a vastly less enjoyable watch. This is an assembly of the movie using predominantly deleted scenes in an exceptionally less-produced state. That means segments from the “Deleted Scenes” episode which were animated fully (perhaps FOR the episode?), are seen here in a less-finished form. Scenes that play out like normal seem to sometimes get a cool alternate view, like the pencil test versions of animation that actually did wind up in the movie.

The story notably starts with the Dr. Weird scene; the one where he talks about his lair being turned into “fucking condos”. It follows the pattern of a typical Aqua Teen episode that way with it’s own Dr. Weird cold open. It goes from said Dr. Weird scene into the opening sequence that we see in the main movie, it just has a bad Dana Synder song playing over it instead. I sincerely wonder if they actually would have used this as the movie opener because it really sucks. 

This version also misses the Egypt prologue as well as the “Let’s All Go Out to the Lobby” bit (and boy do I mean “misses them”). I’m not sure I really made this connection last time, but boy, does this movie ever feel like a sequel to Rabbot. The story is very Rabbot-esque, and it even includes an interlude where Shake ditches the mission at hand to undergo some sort of cosmetic conditioning. In Rabbot it’s getting his hair done. In this it’s getting a tan and teeth whitening. 

This version is also less censored, and some Meatwad’s potty-mouth moments sorta delighted me, I’m not gonna lie. Also neat was seeing a bit in the middle that was just a filmed table-read; apparently there was supposed to be a live-action sequence with an early version of the Bible Fruits as an educational program that appeared on the ATHF TV. This was likely a nod to the puppet shows that Meatwad regularly enjoyed on the TV series. The Bible Fruits were going to be portrayed by actors in costumes, much like the Fruit of the Loom ads that probably no longer exist or are relevant. 

A lot of alternate punchlines, and almost everything in the main movie is better. I can’t think of an example of a scene or jokes that were in here but I wished were in the main film. The movie itself had an alternate punchline: the entire thing turns out to be Meatwad playing with his dolls; like a St. Elsewhere-esque reveal. Meatwad actually has a cup with a crudely-drawn face on it; this was Shake. Dr. Weird turns out to be his father, and then the post-credits scene would’ve featured the same grotesque female Frylock we see in the post-credits scene of the actual movie. So he’s Meatwad’s mom, you see. That’s where the whole “Frylock is a woman” thing was supposed to go. It’s much less explained in the real movie.

I had hoped there was going to be a Dave and Matt commentary on this thing, bug I guess there’s not. The actual movie itself on DVD has a commentary track with Dana Snyder, Fred Armisen, Todd Hansen, and Patti Smith for some reason (she’s a big fan). Typically when you record the commentary track for a motion picture it comes off the tail end of finishing the movie, so the prospect of rewatching it yet again is probably not an attractive one.

Honestly, watching the Deleted Scenes episode is more fun than this, and this doesn’t offer much more than that episode. Sort of an interesting curiosity, but not that enjoyable to watch.