#does this even need a trigger warning???
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ifyougochasingrabbits · 3 months ago
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TW: Joking about being murdered. Feat. Zallah
Serpentile Alchemist steps down the stairs languidly, blinking the sleep from his eyes. With a stifled yawn, his eyes settle upon a smaller figure in the distance--- clad in all white... Rabbit ears outside of the Gold Saucer? Walking past, his focus is trained on her momentarily, amused by the outfit. Snickering, "A little early for All Saints' Wake, aren't you?"
White had been leaning against the stone railing, one leg crossed over the other at the ankle while her gaze lazily danced to and from the people who dotted the floor below. That was until she heard a voice. A familiar one. She turned her attention over, past her shoulders at the man. "...little. Snake?" Her brows lifted above amused filled eyes that squinted by her cheek rounding smirk. She straightened her arms, pushing herself to stand at her full height of small. "Is that really you? So they haven't had you for lunch~." Turning around she rested her rump against the railing, holding it with both hands.
Serpentile Alchemist felt himself perk right up, the weariness of the workday be damned, upon hearing that nickname. Seemed a bit odd though, recognizing her but not in her entirety. "Well, the names Zallah," he countered, inching closer, "Look at you... I like what you've done with your hair."
"I know your name, you silly little snake~" White repeated the nickname, leaning her head one way, but only a little. "Do you remember mind?" Slipping a hand under several locks of hair she pushed it forward, over her shoulder. "Do you? Really? Truly like it? I cut it myself." She gave him a once— no, a twice over making a couple notes to add to the ones that sat collecting dust in her head. "You were comin' from the guild. And you're gooooin'?"
"No, I don't," Zallah ventures, startlingly honest about it, "Don't think I ever got it. Knew you by your working name alone, me thinks." He nods thrice over, sucking in his lower lip to chew on it... not that it was visible. "I don't remember that either, no. Yeah, looks good. Frames your face real nice. Do you tie it up? I think that'd look nice, too. Like them little buns you see lots of girlies do." Zallah paused, realizing he hadn't answered the last question. "Nowheres in particular, really. Was thinking of wandering aimlessly until someone stabs me for being in the wrong place at the wrong time."
White slapped her fingers to the flat of her chest, gasping! "You wound me!" He didn't. The chuckle told him as much unless it didn't. "It doesn't matter. It's not my name anymore. No matter how much others might repeat it." Taking one knee-locked step forward she moved beside him, bending a little at the waist as she clasped her hands behind her. She looked up at his face, smiling. "I do! Put it up in buns. They look very cute. I'd even say the cutest! In fact. I just did~" White straightened herself up. "That'd be messy. And then you might die. You can't feed your snakes if you're dead. Unless they eat you instead. Then you'd have to die near them. Or have someone bring you. To them." Her rambling came to a stop, blinking her wandering gace back up to his. "You could go into the lane. They do that there."
"Shall I salt it? Will that make it feel nice and better for you? I hardly remember your face," Zallah says, smiling with all teeth. Again, not visible. "But I do remember the way you move. What a refreshing breath of air you are in these dull, dull halls. Why're you dressed like that? On your way to a party? You certainly are most entertaining." He mulls over her suggestion, making a grimace. "I want my blood to sully where no man's blood has been spilt before, the Gods-damned Lane is full of the stuff. No, thank you."
White almost spat out a short laugh. "You could add some pepper too!" She grinned. Then his words sparked an idea. Leeeeaning in she lowered her voice into something more hush-like, joking, "How about the Sultana's chambers?" It rose as she did, both arms swinging out as she went on, "At the bottom of the sea! Or. Would the surface of the moon suit you better? No. But the Quicksand might~"
Zallah had to think on it, he found himself pacing left from right... stroking his face covering. His tail moved in a fluid motion, side to side--- eager. "The surface of the moon--- there's an idea to strive for... Ah, to be the first man slaughtered on the moon..." He shivered with anticipation. "Now to find a suitable butcher..."
White watched and listened. She listened and watched, the smirk quick to grab the corner of her lip, curling it yet again. It wasn't going to be the last time. "Who'd be the most. Suit-a-ble." Her fingers step, step, stepped to her words around the backside of his waist, asking, "For you? Someone tall? What about long hair? Or short hair. Blue eyes? Brown? Black?"
Zallah stepped forward, confidently lifting himself up and onto the stone barrier while facing her. "Tall... Handsome... Dark hair... Ought to have big arms and even fatter tits. I ought to be thrilled while I'm getting gutted, of course. I can't imagine anything worse than being miserably bored while being murdered."
White let a person come to life in her head with each and every description he shared. Then. She made a puzzled face when it formed into a face she had been looking for before she heard the snake's voice in her horns. She gave her head a small shake, chuckling, "I couldn't!" as she stepped up to where he sat, placing her hands on the railing at either side of him.
"I'd rather die in my sleep, if that were the case. 'Least I'd be dreaming." Zallah placed his hands ontop of hers. Trapped. :)
"What would you want to dream about? A pretty butcher?" White was trapped! Or was she? "On the moon?"
"Oh, maybe I'd get a little kiss. Maybe more than a kiss. That'd be a very different dream, then."
"That's one way to get stabbed. Some would say even the best way."
"Mhmm... I should hope it has me screaming." Then, Zallah circles back around to the topic. "Have you still not answered me as to why you're dressed like that?"
White wiggled her fingers on one hand under his, not to break free, but as if she was tapping them. "To catch people's attention. To make them look. Or ask! It worked, didn't it~?"
Zallah grinned behind the mask. "So it has." He liked it, and thus approved of it. "It suits you, strangely enough. Charming."
"It does! Suit me. Per-fect-ly." And nothing anyone could say could change White's mind. She smiled wide. Up at him. Leaning in as she teased, "Do you still go? To the Minaudiere. And talk about those noodles of yours?"
Zallah shook his head. "No, I haven't been to the baths in quite some time." Though... now that she mentions it, the idea did seem alluring. Perhaps that's just what he's needed after today. "No one listens like you do!" He sighs, dramatically. Then, leaning in with a bit of cheek he says with a loud whisper, "Well, no one apart from a new lover of mine. He'll listen to me go on and on--- and better still, he'll do it for free." He was teasing, but not lying.
White grinned, proud-like. She leaned in too, threatening to smoosh the tips of their nose or knock heads if either weren't careful. "If he ever gets bored." Her lips shrunk into a smirk as she teased back, "Of listenin'. You could fill my horns again. I'm not hard to find~" Unless she didn't want to be.
"I'll consider it," White practically purrs, "More's the merrier, even if he isn't bored of it. I do enjoy a willing ear or horn." He released her hands finally, shifting so as to pull himself away from the railing. "I'll be off to tell him of my plans in regards to getting murdered. He'll be most displeased at the prospect, I think."
White flipped her hands over to take hold of his, spinning them around. She took his spot. Or she would have if she hopped up onto the railing. It didn't matter, they stood in opposite spots, her staring up at him with yet another smirk. Told you there'd be more. "Tell him it'll be on the moon. Maybe he'll be happier. Unless you want him displeased. Then you can tell him it'll be behind the Quicksand. Or in it. Beside it?"
"He'd sooner dispatch the would-be killer, I think." Zallah let out a wolfish laugh. "I'll be telling him about you, thats for certain." He gives her hands a bit of a squeeze before releasing them. "Perhaps we'll meet again." Then, he asks, "What are you called now, if not by that previous name?"
White's arms swung to her sides, easing back for her palms to press against the curve of the railing. "Careful. He might want to meet me~" she said with a tilt of her head and a grin. "I'm sure we will. I have a feelin'." At his question her features softened, but the smile didn't fade. "White Rabbit. That should be easy to remember. Even for snakes."
"I do like fluffy, white rabbits!" Zallah chirped, proceeding to saunter off. A grin to his voice, "The city is large, and yet so, so little." Then, laughing, he called out, "What? And miss the chance to have you meet him? No, no. I insist, should he ever want to meet you he shall!"
White lifted a hand, smiling a little wider. Just a little. She gave him her often given fingery farewell stating, "I'll see you." It almost sounded like a threat. When he could no longer be seen she turned back around, returning her lazy leaning on the stone railing to people watch.
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mitwodlemi · 1 month ago
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Decided to challenge myself and make an animation for everyday of October! (Anitober as I like to call it. Very original, I'm sure.) Here's the first 7 days!
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wordswithkittywitch · 6 months ago
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I'm just saying, if they wanted a compelling anti-hero plot with Cruella de Vil, they could have done so much better with less effort. Just... have her not care.
All we need is one speech about, "Animals only have the importance we give them. Humans only have the importance we give them. So my coat used to be an 'adorable' puppy? Your burger used to be a calf. A calf that looked up at it's mother with big round eyes, not understanding that it would be locked in a cage far away from her for the rest of it's, rather short, life. But I'm not asking you to care about that. I'm asking you what makes dogs different. They aren't. The only difference is you've decided they are because you've met dogs and you haven't met cows. And you can make up imaginary rules to live your life by, but don't act surprised that not everyone made up the same rules as you. The only reason we don't wear human leather is it doesn't look as good as deerskin." And there. Now we have Cruella de Vil as a lady Joker. It's not that hard.
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tsundereition · 19 days ago
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omg guys proshipper isn't "basic dni criteria", like that list is supposed to represent actual irl issues(*), not some 2020 internet discourse. you guys are so annoying like if you're uncomfortable interacting with proshippers i understand and respect it, although you probably have a very twisted idea of what the word means (would make a separate post abt it but there are hundreds already). but please don't equate it to actual crimes. (*)also do you seriously think that a bigot troll is going to read your dni and be magically expelled from your strong aura. if anything it's going to make them want to harass you more. it's obvious that those lists are just a pose like "if i don't put racists dni they're gonna think i'm racist" NO aaagh you don't have to over-specify(?) everything about you when interacting online can we please go back to being normal istg. reject modernity embrace not writing a dni list and just blocking people like a normal person <3
#tsun.txt#also ppl who write all their triggers and traumas are you fr that too is going to make it easier for trolls to harass you#children need to learn basic internet safety etc etc#i needed to vent bc i've been on toyhouse and i'm SO tired of everyone using the “warning” tab for fucking dni's#come and block me yourself bitch. the warning is supposed to be info about what could trigger ME.#BRO i just remembered once i was looking at the artists that were going to attend a con and one of them had fucking proship dni in their bi#like IMAGINE limiting your sales bc you care about what other people like to read?? i'm going to put fucking. idk. team kira dni.#also i sometimes go to cons as an artist too. imagine if i got placed next to that person#what do they want me to do? them: “hey can you move your chair a little” me: ignoring them bc i read their dni#it's INSANE#not @ me being paranoid abt ppl cancelling me for this post despite having like +300 blocked accounts#but i'm coming out (?) as a non-harasser. like i don't even use the word profiction. i'd rather call myself normal.#i sound like those people who're like my pronouns are nor/mal but FR this used to be the norm in fandoms *sob*#also ppl online are limiting their interactions for not wanting me to reblog their art but okay#in MY case i'm hella limiting my interactions for not wanting to be harassed. we're not the same.#i be like why does this have so few notes *has half the fandom blocked*#and ppl probably wouldn't even notice bc most of what i post is wholesome but then i write textposts like this. better safe than sorry#discourse
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marc--chilton · 2 months ago
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Providing enrichment to your enclosure by asking you what Saw is about, where to watch it, and any major trigger warnings in it (obviously violence, but like needles? sa? etc) (please and thank you)
oh thank god i needed this
saw is about human perseverance and flawed philosophy (it gets overshadowed by sensationalism that comes with creative traps that have the explicit purpose of Fucking People Up). jigsaw, the killer, does what he does because "people don't appreciate their lives until it hangs in the balance", hence the catchphrase at the end of nearly all tapes given to the victims at the start of their torment, "live or die, make your choice." you could lay down and die, or you could fight to survive.
it's INCREDIBLY flawed, of course, because jigsaw can justify putting anyone in a trap. "not appreciating your life" can mean anything from being a rapist, to a drug addict, to lying to your boss that you're sick so you won't be coming in to work today.
i don't want to spoil anything in case you DO want to watch it so i'll just leave it there for now. you can find them all on 9movies dot top, i recommend just watching them in order of release (movies 1 to 6 are listed in roman numerals, saw the final chapter/3D is 7, jigsaw is 8, spiral is 9, then X for 10)
as for trigger warnings...... fuck dude uh. uhhhhh. well there's definitely needles in 2, i think 4? has a rapist for a victim but his crimes aren't explicitly shown, 10 has an attempted assault (foiled).... actually i think nearly all of them sort of have needles since when someone is chosen to be put into the torment nexus they're typically drugged with a syringe to the neck.
and wrt to violence i'd put the gore about level with final destination personally (though saw has much more of it, of course) so if you can handle final destination you can probably handle saw in that regard!
there is as far as i can remember no explicit nudity of female characters though. which fucking rocks if you know anything about women in horror movies
if you have any other questions plsplsplspls ask i love talking about sawww
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etherealhoneypie · 4 months ago
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hey can i talk abt something possibly triggering real quick in the tags okay cool
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naamahdarling · 5 months ago
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Can't wait to see what the consistently uncooperative nurse who answers my GP's messages has to say, if she messages me back. I bet you twenty bucks right now her reply makes it obvious that she didn't even glance at the rest of the thread.
Lady, you have way more going on than me. I know you're busy. I also know I am annoying. I'll stop bothering you if you tell me what you need from me so I can move on to the next step because until you do, I can't. Stop wasting your own time.
#if she flubs the next response i will have to call and insist to talk to someone backstage#which sucks because they're never available and there is for some reason no voicemail so if nobody answers the phone I just get disconnecte#and have to call again and again because even though it's the only way to reach anyone#leaving a message with the front desk only works about every fifth time#so calling and waiting all day for a response x 5 = 1 week#calling the front desk repeatedly eventually gets me connected with someone actually helpful but it takes days usually#the portal summons this woman who does usually answer but is often utterly unhelpful#i would jump clinics but this doctor is good and the nurse i usually see is good#and I CANNOT handle the hassle of getting set up in their system with the right name and pronouns#setting up a new portal#and disclosing that I have PTSD to even more people#I know I don't have to give details and I do not (I did have to call out a woman once for pressing for them inappropriately)#but I do need to let them know so they aren't surprised when I show up having a bad day#or tell them not to do a thing or that I won't do a thing#so they don't brush it off which is rude or try to pressure me which will eventually get them snapped at for what seems like no reason#they DESERVE to be warned so they don't perceive my behavior as targeted at them because that feels shitty to both of us#so yeah#i don't want to have that conversation again when I just had it in a very triggering way and will have to do that again very shortly#also where the fuck do i go when nobody at a good clinic is seeing new patients?
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rearranging-deck-chairs · 20 days ago
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also a warning if you think abt it
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between-the-pages-ofa-book · 2 months ago
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Why do people feel the need to bring up Taylor Swift when her friends do something they don't like, as if she has the ability to control other adults' behavior?
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saturdaymournings · 10 months ago
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NEW USERNAME STEPCHILD????
Yeahhhh !! Not the best circumstances but I’m being brave and it feels fitting because it’s named after one of the wholesome little small joys of my life :) I also feel like it’s fitting to the energy I’m going for right now since trying to get rid of that constant feeling of underlying guilt in favour of like. Not feeling that lol. It’s been going pretty well I got my shit together most of the time :3
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future-crab · 5 months ago
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requesting a rant about that sweeney todd song 👀
Ooh thank you!
So. Johanna Quartet (which I spelled wrong in my post. Sorry, Johanna.) and why it slaps.
The first thing that deserves a mention is that it’s just absolutely beautiful. I don’t know anything about music theory, so I won’t try to break that element down, but if you haven’t, I’d really recommend giving it a listen. The 2023 revival cast version is excellent imo.
The part I mainly want to talk about is Sweeney’s verses, cause I think they’re really interesting. It’s (arguably) the most introspective we ever see him in the show, and it is (arguably) both the point in the tragedy when it becomes clear that it’s too late for things to turn out well, and the false high where it seems like things might work out.
Like, the beginning of the song makes it pretty clear that at this point, he has become the person he most hates. With his possessiveness over Johanna (“my little lamb, my pet” and all that) and the incestuous overtones in lines like, “And are you beautiful and pale, with yellow hair, like her? I’d want you beautiful and pale, the way I dreamed you were, Johanna” it’s laid bare for the audience that there is no difference, really, between him and Judge Turpin anymore. They both just want to own this woman, because she’s beautiful and reminds them of her mother.
But then the last couple verses come in, and we’re given a tantalizing glimpse at the possibility of character growth with lines like, “And though I’ll think of you I guess until the day I die, I think I miss you less and less as every day goes by, Johanna.” From the second he walked onstage, he’s been single-minded in his focus on his grief and revenge, but in this incongruously honest moment, he’s admitting that he could move on.
And then! And then!!! For (to my memory) the first and only time in the show, he actually acknowledges that his fantasy of getting Johanna back is flawed. Like, earlier he doubted that it would happen (“And I’ll never see Johanna, no I’ll never hug my girl to me,” “I think we shall not meet again, my little dove, my sweet Johanna,” etc) but this is the first time he acknowledges that if it did, it wouldn’t make him happy. “And you’d be beautiful and pale, and look too much like her.” Getting Johanna back would just remind him of everything else he’s lost. There is no going back.
And his last line in the song encapsulates this contradiction – “Wake up, Johanna, another bright red day. We learn, Johanna, to say goodbye.” On the surface it seems like more character growth – he’s going to learn to let go of the past! – but the fact that he can’t help but address this statement to Johanna is a sign that he’s still too deep in his obsession. You get the sense, even at this point where he’s the closest he’s ever gotten acknowledging his fatal flaw, that it’s far too late.
Also probably worth mentioning that the entire time he’s going through all this introspection, he’s just. Slitting people’s throats. Just the whole time.
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simplydnp · 9 months ago
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fuck
#trigger warning for anti-queer legislation & transphobia further in the tags#it's just so. awful. and i forget sometimes cause i'm here on my tumblr bubble & i havent left the house in 3 months due to chronic illness#but i am very lucky to live where i live and get to do what i do and i cant even do that anymore. because of this illness#and while im away. theyre. hurting my kiddos. taking away their rights. 'for the children' they say. fuck off.#'leaves them with less choice as adults' what does that even fucking mean. nothing! it means nothing. its to scare you.#do i need to send a letter home to call a child by a nickname instead of their government birthname??#i'll let you all in on a secret: my government name is not char. but my teachers called me it. and my parents didnt need to be notified.#and the world didnt end!#i had a pride flag up in my room. and a kid asked me what it meant. and immediately i knew it was delicate.#hes like whats it for. and im like well. what does a flag mean to you? do you have a flag you connect with?#and the kid was like yeah. its like. community. and im like yeah! that's what this is for some people. it's also a show of support.#and the kid said 'oh i get it.' and then a pause. 'i like the colours' and i said me too!#and we talked about his country flag and other country flags and completely moved on#but he listened! and he learned! this kid hardly listens to me teach but he respects when i'm real.#auoghhh. so many kids affected. genuinely makes me ill. on top of everything.#i dont even know#c.text
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lycandrophile · 5 months ago
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THANK YOU!!! the tags i’ve been seeing like this have been bothering the hell out of me, especially because of just how many there are.
pregnancy isn’t body horror. it’s simply not. the point of body horror is to horrify you by showing you things happening to bodies that should not happen — gore and violence, limbs in impossible configurations or body parts mixed with distinctly inhuman features, natural bodily processes being imitated by something monstrous or alien. it’s not just “hey, aren’t natural human bodies so gross and awful and scary?” so no, pregnancy actually isn’t body horror for the same reason disabled bodies aren’t body horror — you might personally be horrified by them, but that just says a whole lot about how you perceive real life marginalized bodies and absolutely nothing about the bodies themselves.
yes, bodies are weird and pregnancy can do things to a person’s body that we don’t typically see outside of that context. but it’s still a natural bodily process, and the bodies you’re apparently so comfortable calling horrifying are real people’s bodies, not special effects in a horror movie. if you have that strong of an aversion to actual real life bodies of any kind, that doesn’t mean those kinds of bodies “are body horror”, it simply means you need to work on how you view other people and project your feelings on their bodies because that isn’t healthy at all.
like, to be clear, viewing male pregnancy as body horror is anti-transmasculinity, and also, viewing female pregnancy as body horror is misogyny. the fact that you’re dehumanizing cis women and trans men in that way doesn’t make it better than if you were just dehumanizing trans men. i would argue it’s actually worse, simply because that’s even more people whose bodies you see as less worthy of respect!
not to mention, you can say you see all pregnancy as equally horrifying all you want, but i know you don’t actually treat them the same way. no matter how you may feel internally about the bodies of pregnant women, you’re at least desensitized to seeing them in real life. we’ve all interacted with pregnant women in our daily lives, we probably all know women in our personal lives who we’ve seen pregnant at some point. so even if you do think all pregnancy is body horror, unless you’re especially shitty, you’re going to know how to interact with a pregnant woman without treating them like some sort of monster because you’ve probably had to learn how to do that at some point. you might still be weird to them, but you at least know how to reign it in to some extent.
but pregnant men? i’d bet real money that you’ve never seen one in real life. your exposure to male pregnancy is probably limited to horror movies and hypersexualized mpreg art and maybe news stories or social media posts about pregnant trans men. even if you say you feel the same about all pregnancy, we’re the ones you’re going to end up treating with the least respect and dignity, simply because you’re not used to us yet. so don’t fool yourself into thinking your disgust toward pregnancy doesn’t uniquely affect trans men, because even if you don’t only feel it toward us, i guarantee you’ll show it to us in a way you wouldn’t show it to pregnant women because you haven’t been forced to learn how to pretend you respect us yet.
(and even if you are just openly and unabashedly horrible toward pregnant women, i guarantee you’d be even more awful toward a pregnant man for that reason.)
so please, stop telling on yourselves for being misogynistic and anti-transmasculine in my notes and start doing some real introspective digging into why you’re so comfortable labeling people’s actual real life bodies as “body horror”.
do you actually care about trans men or do you relegate male pregnancy to the status of "gross but funny fanfiction trope" at best and "literal body horror" at worst? do you actually care about trans men or have you accepted without question the ideas that bottom growth is a borderline-torturously painful process and phalloplasty is a dangerous surgery with objectively unsatisfactory results because they confirm your implicit assumptions about the violence and horror of masculinization? do you actually care about trans men or do you think testosterone being a controlled substance is fair because you prioritize fairness in sports more highly than transmasculine lives? do you actually care about trans men or do you distance yourself from us as we transition and make half-joking comments about us being traitors because you view transmasculinity as a shift from ally to enemy? do you actually care about trans men or do you get mad at us when we read transmasculine experiences into female characters because you see it as an act of theft and believe transmasculinity is inherently less valuable than womanhood? do you actually care about trans men or is your first thought when you see a transition timeline about how pretty the "before" picture is? do you actually care about trans men or does your interest in our lives begin and end with how badly you want a boypussy to fuck?
do we exist to you as real people or only in theory? do you read the stories we tell, listen to the music we make? how many of us can you name? when we speak, do you listen? would you fight for us? do you trust us to know ourselves best? are you our friend? do you mourn us when we're gone? do you care for us while we're still here?
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gnc-tits · 5 months ago
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i genuinely have such an issue w how the general internet approaches trigger warnings like on all sides it just fuckin sucks. either theyre completely unnecessary and if u need one ur a baby or u need to tag every possible trigger theres like no in between. and the meaning of what a trigger actually is gets watered in the process like i know this is kind of 2018 to bitch about but i am irritated!!!!!!!!
#gonna blow up genuinely#inspired by a post tht was like a poem of sorts discussing a suicide attempt but like. the way it was set up is that it was split up by#slides ans the title on the first slide was pretty self explanatory so like. you have to swipe to see the rest of it#and people were mad in the comments that there wasnt a trigger warning like. dude#it literally says what its about right there you made the decision to read the rest of it??????#and it didnt even get that graphic imo so like im just confused like do u want the very concept of suicide trigger tagged?????? sorry?????#like sometimes art wants you to feel uncomfortable and upset and thats okay!!! it does not mean you need a trigger tag for it like#im sorry i know discussions of suicide Can be triggering but this wasnt even that it was just like art and the idea of making an artist#trigger tag their work depicting/discussing suicide when it a. isnt even that graphic and b. is set up in a way that you know whats going to#be depicted before even reading it like. that just is so#like its giving tag your self harm scars likeeeeee#just fuckin irks me man#genuinely i think 90% of mental health ‘discourse’ is inane bullshit and like projection and shit but#idk. IDK rhis is a hill ill die on like. if talking about suicide is a trigger then you should handle that on your own and not blame ppl for#discussing it when you like knew what you were getting into#but like also: is it actually triggering you or does it just make u upset#likeeeee its okay to be upset…….healthy even……
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thethingything · 6 months ago
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we are finally off the phone! I'd misjudged the time in the last post but in total it as 2 hours and 5 minutes. I do not know what half that conversation even was but holy shit so much of it was her basically making herself out to be so generous and caring and talking about how worried she is about our mum and how terrible it is that other family members don't help her with anything.
meanwhile she calls our mum and asks her to do all this stuff for her and talks to her like shit and guilt trips her into doing stuff and I know about so much incredibly fucked up stuff she did when our mum was a kid but she doesn't know that we know she's done all this.
also she normally keeps our mum on the phone for this long but doesn't keep us on the phone for very long and it's really weird suddenly being treated like our mum, but she called us because our mum wasn't picking up the phone (she's at work and can't do that) and it's reminding me of the thing where when we had covid in 2021 and our mum couldn't answer the phone, everyone started calling us and dumping every responsibility they'd normally dump on our mum on us instead and basically treating us how they'd normally treat her.
like oh the usual family scapegoat isn't available? time to pester her eldest "daughter" until they have a breakdown and almost end up blocking everyone and refusing to talk to the rest of the family
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#''I started experiencing [very graphic description of symptom repeated over and over for at least 5 minutes]#and thought I'd ask you what you think it is because I figured you'd know'' well I don't know but I do feel sick now#I was about to fucking get something to eat but no I'm gonna have to wait for the nausea over that to die down first#she called us panicking and sounding like she was about to cry because our mum wasn't answering#and she ''had a feeling something had gone wrong'' and like okay but you fucking know she's at work. you know she can't answer#''your mum works so hard and I worry so much and I feel so bad when she does things for me''#you mean the things she does for you because you make her feel really guilty if she doesn't?#where you decide to stop answering calls from anyone else in the family so they all call her panicking and make her go and check on you#and you keep this up until she does what you want but then you still carry on doing this if something is even slightly not to your liking#and then you lie about why you wouldn't answer anyone but give 3 different contradictory reasons in half an hour#and keep changing the story when you realise your lies aren't being believed and you're starting to look bad?#are you sure you aren't just saying you feel bad to make it look less like you're manipulating her?#there's so much more that's so much worse but I don't want to get into that right now and I'd need to figure out the right trigger warnings#but god it's all just such a shitshow
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squid--inc · 7 months ago
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